Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Sam Morril Returns!

Episode Date: October 2, 2023

Are You Garbage is back with stand up comedian and podcast host Sam Morril! Thanks for watching Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast! Come to a Live Show! NEW LIVE SHOWS: https://areyougarbage.com/ Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/ PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Get 50% off your 1st box by going to https://factormeals.com/Garbage50 and use code GARBAGE50 Harry’s: https://www.harrys.com/garbage Beam: https://shopbeam.com/garbage Promo Code: Garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

Gang the stage trashy tour is coming to a city near you. Stand up comedy plus we play the Liy G with the crowd. Shows are selling out and you can get your tickets at rugarbage.com. See you there. Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Gobbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts Kevin Ryan and H Foley.

Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's new favorite podcast. This is R U Garbage. It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find it to be classy. They're after just a big old piece of trash. I'm your host H Foley coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tuddy's in the new edition. She was just out front watching the school buses go by with the kids in it.

Okay. Throw an egg at it. Nice. Good for her. What they did, but they did something to piss her off. Sure. Okay. My coach is coming at you from right next to me. He is the CEO of our Ugarberd. She is international businessman, but always the King of the Boardwalk, baby. Give it up for KJ. Keping, J. From what's up, gang. Thanks for tuning in. always. We just make sure you're ready to subscribe on iTunes full video available on YouTube as You know those numbers are true to row cooking and obviously the greatest website of all time WWW that patreon.com

So are you garbage gang? Yes, check it out. It's a fricking party over there It is and have a nice quick shout out to our producer extra one and air the magic band makes us all look good works The ones the two the threerees and the fours. He crosses the tees and he dots the eyes, give it up for T-bone McScruffins. Tell him McBone, everybody. What up, boys? What up, T-bone?

How about that? Dude, we got the low key drinking his dude in the studio today, man. Got the fucking kid in here. What do you mean? Former employer of mine, I would not ask him for a reference. That looks the sauce he made his own hooch. I'll tell you I'm hurting bad.

It would have been the most garbage thing ever to cancel. So here the fuck I can't get a cancel for hangover. That's I buddy. I want a cancel for a hangover. We had a guy cancel on our podcast recently with a tummy ache. I used the word tummy ache. I said I have a tummy ache. I was like what are you a four year old who ate too much taffy? Yeah. That's tummy ache. I used the word tummy ache. He said, I have a tummy ache. I was like, what are you, a four year old

who ate too much taffy? Yeah. That's tummy ache. Get into the fiddle, faddle. A tummy, yeah. Ooh. That's not good. That's very childish, yeah.

Yeah, no, I was hurting, because of course, our friend Joe DeRosa, if I see him, I know I'm fucked. It's like, you just know the dude, because what, here's his game, how he gets you. I haven't seen you in a while and you're like All right, let's catch up because I do love him Uh-huh, and then he's like shot your plant. He goes your plant MSG theater November 4th. We got to do a shot

What I throw plug by the way New York City man, I thought I was good, but no way de Rosa said the date I'm gonna close up send the date. It's a time to 7.39. I am doing too. But he goes your play and I'm gonna do a shot. And I'm like, oh, so now I'm a dick. If I, he's like the toast is for you, you have to do the shot with us.

So it's him and Steve Bern and another guy, another guy who I don't know, but he's like comedy adjacent. So we're doing the shot. And I'm like, I fucking, so I'm like, I really, I'm already pretty drunk and I have to wake up early and he goes You fuck all right fine three whiskey shots here, and let's get a Nancy boy here You're pulling those and they're doing it pussy pussy the whole shouting pussy. I'm like you're 46

Also, he was like nobody calls me a pussy Also, he was like, nobody calls me a pussy. And I get, barely did the shot. I thought it was too old for peer pressure. That's the first shot I did with him. The next round, it just turns into like, you're already drunk. And he's like, oh, fuck you, dude. Fuck you. He used to throw a birthday party every year on a Monday night.

Because he's a commercial coming of its Monday. You try to leave the thing at midnight, 2 AM. You get cursed out. Sure. As I'm walking out, fuck you, you piece of shit. I remember a birthday. midnight 2 a.m. you get cursed out. Sure. How's him walking out? Fuck you, you piece of shit. I remember a birthday. Thanks for coming. I remember you to birthday when you're at the original stand. We're just sitting outside the club and he's sitting in a chair and he just starts a vant projectile vomiting. Say don't leave yet. This is the only way you can leave it.

It's wall he's but then you can't leave a guy who's fuking you to watch it. I'm just watching Joe. You're going to get a pizza. No, but I was hurting. Gang, we could be more excited to have our incredibly special guest back with us again today. He is one of the best and brightest standup comedians working today. And as he said, he is going to be at the theater at Madison Square Garden November 4th. Do yourself a fucking favor. Give it up for San Marraille. Let's go. Hey, see you. Hey, man.

All over the road, baby. Just a moment. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. Square Garden November 4th. Do yourself a fucking favor. Give it up for Sam Burrell. See me all over the road baby. Just one of the best out there guys. I love you guys. You guys are on the road like crazy. We're still moving around. We're moving around somewhere.

Summer the fall winter tours. Hectic, but good. Busy is good. Busy is good. It's good. It's good, but I'm fucking, I'm feeling it, dude. I mean, every Instagram post of yours is 18 more cities. It's crazy. It's hard to, I mean, you see what happens, and it's just like, You crazy next week.

It's like, Kim Fannybone, I'll be there. The late show could use a couple. I'll be, man, it's, a really blew the roof off that way. I was thinking you're thinking in Ukraine people they're like someone's like people still dating there. I was like, yeah, what did they say? Meet me or where this coffee shop used to be? Meet me for a walk through the rock. Yeah, man. Shit. No, I'm out there. You kind of have to be.

Of course. Because I don't know when this shit's gonna go. You don't know what it's you don't know when it's all gonna stop So you gotta do everything you can I said that to someone I said to someone the other night I was like yeah, I don't know when it's gonna go away. He's like oh, it'll go away. I was like you don't have to be that To be that short I'm saying it like half fake. Yeah, like I was gonna keep rolling Yeah, trying to be humble. Yeah, I don't go. No, Sinatra fell off. You think we're fucking gonna be dead. Baby. No, of course. Sinatra hit a low. We're fucked. It's over. It's done. I gotta start zinging. I didn't want to ask you about that with the traveling on stuff. I did come across an

Instagram, I think one of your stories. I see you have gotten to the point of success now where you're traveling with the puppy dog with you. Well, that was a trick. Travel with the pooch. That was a good one. And that's the girl I'm dating. Oh, dog. That's not even my dog.

I was very happy to see that. I love that dog. 16 year old one-eyed pug from history. Dude, I'll tell you the sad shit. We're at the vet the other day, which is like, I fucking have so much respect for vets. They're like, you know, cuz they got into it because they actually love animal doctors don't they're not doctors because they like people Yeah, you know, they're learning for a check for the check. Yeah, and But it's like the funniest job to me because you have to come and deliver horrible news with the funniest names

Like we found a malignant tumor in waffles Like we found a malignant tumor in waffles. Yeah. Like, snuff a luffagus that cancer has spread. It's always so big because I didn't realize to my wife pointed out to me that she's like, I hate going. I'm like, why? She's like, because in the waiting room, I've got almost called it a green room in the waiting room, you're sitting there with people on their worst day of their decade.

They're like, ready to put their cat down or whatever. And I'm sitting there like, who'd you go up? Like, I'm getting a check up and hello Me while this one. Yeah me while the people crying like oh fuck this is tough Yeah, the funniest part is we're there and she's got two dogs one of them's a bigger black pug and they put the They put the thermometer, you know the rectal thermometer up the ass and she's like ah just screaming You know my god that my God, that must suck. Then they put it in this tiny little pocket.

Girlfriend, bro. Oh, she doesn't scream. Oh, no, I don't have that effect. No, but she, uh, then they put it in the tiny Pugs ass, not a peep. Just like this Pug lived in the street before. It's dark shit. He's like, did you start yet?

Hey, Doc, I don't have all day. Can't do anything to the that LA hasn't already done Fire away doc, that's a good man. You go to you go to the vet with the lady. I did because a dog so your dogs now No, I mean it's her dog. I know but I love that yeah, I fucking love that dog. You're in I mean I hate it at first and then they just win you over Sure do they dogs are just incredible just positive energy at all times. They're just, this dog's kind of a cunt. Okay. She's kind of rude.

She's like, but you know, it's, never picks up a check. No, but, and the Venmo request. That's like, come on. But she's just adorable. I guess like, yeah, she won me over. What can I say?

That's funny. Nice. Yeah, I saw that. I was like, ah, samey traveling with the puppy dog. Were you on your way to a gig though No, I was doing a she has a place in Texas and I was I did a couple podcasts and in all So nice to go. Yeah, very nice. Yeah, that's a YMH. Yeah, so fun. Yeah, yeah It's a blast one thing to the travel for you has upgraded the turbo you got you got a tour bus

We watch fully with love because we're watching movies You know that's the thing is like you dating a girl. She's like, are you fucking someone on the road? I'm like we're literally drinking red wine yeah, I watch and Fargo I know I know this is like the lamest you think like you think we're living hard and we're like the fucking corneus I know Let's see it's not like I'm fucking it's not like we're poison or something you don't need I mean they were so mad at me on the bus because I Chose we you know we're on the road all the time so you don't get to see any the Oscar movie. So it's like let's watch tar The worst tour bus movie ever. It's like a slow burn about me too, and I'm like I'm sorry guys

I thought hey Gary I apologize He would have rather me me too Then watch that move now, but then we usually watch good shit. Like we, dude, you know what we watch in there? This is old movie, uh, Fritz Lang made it from the 50s. It's called The Big Heat. It's just like the coolest old, uh, cop movie. It's just an unhinged cop whose wife gets murdered.

And he's just like, I'm not gonna lose. And he's just, it's, it's one of you, you know, like, is this gonna be another tar? I'm like, I've seen this one. You're in good fucking hands. No more tar. Is this the situation as of right now on the tour? You're on a bus? No, it's so expensive that I only do it for, you know.

It's gotta make sense, like, I gotta be there the next night and the next night and the next night, and then you gotta travel overnight, which is like teleportation. I mean, Sammy, that's fucking, that's big time. It's awesome, yeah, love it. Or, if it makes sense, so we did it on three stretches. We did like a, you know, I do that fucking love the bus because you just wake up in the city

It's like we did it with Bert and it was like we went to bed in Vegas We leave it like two or three in the morning wheels up on the bus. You've been hang out a couple beers go to sleep You wake up here It's like you teleport. It's time it so you leave Like when we're trying to sleep because it rocks you to bed like a baby It's like being in the Millennium Falcon. That's one of the best night's sleeps I've ever had. Yeah, you've fucking the blackout curtain comes all the way up You got the little vent in there. It was fun for us because we're on the we're on the bus with the big guy You know, he's like the dad. He's over you feel fucking safe and secure. Yeah, Bert. My Bert must be fun to tour with

I've done a couple gigs with Bert and he's like Man, it's funny his week like going light without alcohol, I was like, wow, I'm hurting. This is tough. He would just like kill a pitcher of beer and he'd be like, yeah, I'm taking these you this week. I'm a dude. You're a firm. Bernie is incredible.

Yeah, I know he goes, he gets after it. Heavy for sure, which is, and I've always wanted, it was always when he's always one of those guys, I'm like, I have to have a beer with them when I'm with them. If he's like, I'm drinking, like he came in here. He makes it look so good. Like when he has a beer in front of him, I saw him a clock. Alcohol should pay him money.

Not like alcohol. Not like alcohol. Not like alcohol. Not like alcohol. The alcohol lobby. So get together and just cut him a monthly check. Yeah, like a native America, you see no, he just gets in for something.

The booze, oligarchs should be fucking paying. Well, you see like a dude in a fucking, like an old movie smoking a cigarette, you're like, fuck, Tom Fibogo with a small, and then you're like, oh, shit, he died in his 50s, I think. But in the movie, like, that look fucking cool. Now, but Bert was in an airport one time, and he went up, I guess he was,

he was, he got up to the bartender and he goes, what's a good breakfast beer? To the bartender. And I was like, man, that makes you want to have a fucking beer in the morning, so fucking bad. Yeah, but guess what? Cognitive breakfast beer is not, that doesn't make it. That sounds appetizing.

That's right, that's right. There is breakfast beer, too. Something fruity, something light, maybe. No, that's not what that is. That's what that is. Cinnamon toast beer. That's right. I don't know, man. No, he's, that's, he beer that's what that is cinnamon toast beer

No, he's that's he goes hard. It's impressive. I but I'll take it hair the dog I know it doesn't really work But it's yeah, it's like a mind game thing. We're like something about like a bloody Mary on a flight You're like fuck that hit started. Yeah, it hits right those bloody guy likes a bloody What do you have anything because obvious like a shorter? What is a thing that you have to have on the or that you found on the bus that you're really like like I like having this or like is it? What what same driver every time? Yes, he's the fucking cool. Gotcha. This is how cool he is He's seen so much shit like by the way. He told us this is a great story. He gave us He used to take out segura and you're not supposed to poop on a tour bus. Okay.

You know, but it just sits in there. Yeah, it's not, it makes a whole bus smell. You pee and you pull over if you have to poop, but he goes, yeah, Tom was just shitting in a glad bag for a while. And he was like, what are you doing? And Tom's like, oh, yes, sorry. He just didn't tell him he was shitting in there. That's crazy.

Yeah, he's had so many bands doing insane shit. He's like air supply the week before me. Looks bad. You guys are watching Tar with a He's on the phone. He's like, yeah, I got a couple of pussy's on here now, babe. You guys don't want coke or hookers and I like that. We were James. We're the middle of steel man. Daniels is a web. Who he direct the my last special he films on the road and stuff and he's in there He's got a big thing of creotene powder because he's works out like twice a day His machine and then we had a fake gun on the bus as a joke It was just us being that's how you get arrested. I know. Oh, dude. We were filled with a bag of white powder and a real gun

It looks real. We're not smart. Okay, so anyway, he comes on and just sees this giant bag of powder and a gun and goes, is that a real gun? That's all it doesn't give a shit. Yeah, that's it. You know, like, oh cool, is that a real gun? And we're like, no, it's not, we're just fucking idiots. We were shooting a dumb promo with it. It was like, John Morant was in the news. So I took a gun on morning, Memphis morning TV,

trying to be it. You're like on, on Zoom, I didn't go in a studio. Oh, that's a lie. Oh, my God. I would have you put in your gun the fuck? Although my publicist was like, don't bring a gun in You're like on on zoom I didn't go in studio Although my publicist was like don't bring a gun in studio. I'm like how dumb do you think I am? I don't know crossbow You to I mean yeah, yeah, you got to give that if you're even contemplating the gun as a bit You got to be like don't do that. Well, this is how dumb we are

We I just said how dumb you think I am. Gary did run through the street with a gun. I'm sure shooting a promo and we thought it was funny. And I'm like, holy shit, we should have been shot. But yeah, he just found the gun and the creatine was like, is this gun in Coke? And we're like, no, it's not, we're just idiots. But you didn't care at all.

So God, I got my guy. I'm worried. He's so cool that I called a guy in the audience slow one night. I was just like shitting on him for being dumb. And the next night he got me a propeller hat as a joke. Oh no shit. Because he's like, he's like, this is a funny hat

for that bit and I was like, it wasn't a bit. I was just going to guy dumb, but I was like, I love that this is where you're at that. I like that. No, he's the cool. I like how you're at the comic and you're like, well, it wasn't a bit. It was more and more. I don't, he's the cool I like how you the comic and you like well wasn't a band You know

He was he's the best yeah tour bus like fucking rules. Yeah, that's sick That's the other thing. It's like, but yeah, you got to gotta make a call kind of booze Do you have do you have any booze that you're like I want like stocked on there my booze? But they could count whiskey We have that and we have all the mixers. I like to I do them in hadn't on the bus You know get to do a little vermouth bitters. I even get the fucking the cherry the good cherry I love it. Yeah, the brandy cherries. Yeah, dude. I love it. I love that It would do some we'll do wine would do that sometimes. I want sometimes I want a negroni, too

I like to get fucking look negroni lit up everyone's car. He's fucking classy. I love it. I love it. I love it. Or just do, I will do a Scotch straight too. I love just like, I just love. You drink like a jazz guy. I know.

He does. He's all over the place man. He's sitting here in basketball shorts. No. What was the life expectancy on those jazz guys again? Not a great, not a good ending, huh? Yeah, my was Davis of the 28 Yeah, I always think of that miles Davis quote a man it takes you a long time to sound like yourself Isn't that the best quote? Oh, that's good. That's a fucking great. He's got a bunch of them

Yeah, he's got a bunch of it's crazy to be that good at jazz and also say really interesting shit Yeah, he is one of my favorite song titles of all time. He's one song, it never even entered my mind. Is the name of the song. Man, it's a fucking good one too. Just that one, it never even entered my mind. Oh, I fucking love that. Man, I love John Stewart used to have a joke

where he would be like, black people in Jews are very similar, black people have the blues and Jews. We complain, we just never thought to put it to music, you know? I love that. That's great. That's a classic. John, some of John Stewart's old stand-up is fucking funny. Let's go.

Yeah, it's really funny. Yeah, and for a while, he was like fucking high-end comic. Yeah, no, yeah. I mean, before the show, he's the show's the show. He doesn't do it. But like, if he did, I think his stand-up would be killer. Cooking. Yeah, no, I mean, before the show, he just shows it to her. I don't think but like, but if he did, I think his standup would be killer. Yeah. Yeah. One of those great minds. Yeah. Home run. Can't but talk about factor. Shout out to the fact his or big fans of the factor over here, gang. A lot of things going on this fall season. You

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All right, let's get into some cues. Let's do some questions. Guys, as you know, when you join a Patreon, we will answer your garbage question on the air. It's just the best way to do it. The Patreon's get first crack at it. This one's from Taylor. Chris new $10 homie here.

Yeah, there you go. Is it garbage to buy a shirt for a video job interview and return it because you didn't get the job? What's that didn't think of it? It's a video job. You don't have to, you just do shirt up. So it's if he's doing a zoom interview. Oh, so we just went out and bought a nice button up shirt I presume left the tag on which you can't tell no I was saving money on the pants putt exactly sitting there in basketball shorts having a man hat

I think you should have one nice shirt though. I do agree You're in a job. He's unemployed, Sammy. Dude, I guess the job, yeah. I did a gig. Hassan Manage got me this gig for Yana Sante kind of Kumpos benefit, the basketball player. And that's Stavros' favorite basketball player. So I'm like, dude, come with me.

Great. And it's at the Rainbow Room and Stav's like, I don't have a nice clothes. And I was like, you're a millionaire. You don't have one nice article of clothing. And I was like, I don't have a nice clothes. And I was like, you're a millionaire. You don't have one nice article of clothing. And I was like, I don't. I'm wearing the fucking Stovey shirt right now, I guess. But he goes, yeah, I don't.

And he's like, can I wear a sweatsuit? I was like, to the rainbow room? I don't, I mean, I guess. And he was like, no, I don't want him. I was like, dude, I want you there. But he was like, he just bought a suit like a week ago. That's awesome. Well, we were just talking to Sal Volcano about it as well.

He's like, I'm done with suits. You're getting Cajun's, Cackies, whatever. And I'm like, I guess you get to a point. It's a point. But suits are cool though. Suites are cool. Suites are cool. But as a bigger gentleman, this is how you look.

You look good. Suites are cool on you. Yeah, you look good. I like this suit. I never wear them though. You could give like a nice $5,000 suit and look fucking, I'm not spending that much on this. He's just good. $5,000.

Now that you came out of a real good. $5,000, where are we going to get $4,000? $3,000 was suit. But I'm saying you could, you got to frame to pull it off. Yeah, they don't look good after time. I like a fat kid at a wedding. When I wear a suit.

You really is a fat guy at a wedding, so it's not that hard. I think you should have one, I mean, I understand, like yeah, show a return, but you should have one nice shirt. No, you're right. That makes sense, especially if you are on the searching for jobs, like he's gonna need it in a week or something if he gets another fucking interview. But I do have a little set of things.

I didn't think about that. What about the next, have a little faith in yourself, baby? I think returning, people return everything. I mean, I, I feel like women do that should constantly. They do a, I never have. I've maybe said I'm going to take this back, but then I get fucking ketchup or something on it.

Now, I don't know if I ever returned clothes in my life. If I've ever brought it back. So lazy, dude. Yeah, of course. Yeah, I'm not bringing it back. It is what it is. I already paid for it. I've returned to Blazer once and I'm not bringing it back. It is what it is. Are you paid for it? I've returned to Blazer once and I regret it every day since.

Why? Because it was a really cool fucking loud red blazer and it was like, it was weird and I, you know, Ryan Hamilton, of course. He's like my go-to for like fashion. Very sharp guy. Looks good in the suit. He dresses very well. Looks good in the suit.

He's like a low key. He dresses well. We like don't notice. He's dressing well all be like, that guy looks good. So I texted him and he go, I go, what do you think of this blazer? And he goes, this is his polite way of saying,

I look like shit, you might have to change your personality a bit for that blazer. And I was like, okay, I'm fucking returning it. Jesus Christ. Like, is if I need to have more energy? And I was like, I regret it so much. I love that.

I'll send you the blazer. And you could plug it in here. I think it looks, no and I was like I regret it so much. I love that I'll send you the blazer and you could plug it in here I think it looks no I fucking took it home tried it on sent him the pick and then he goes basically told me I look like shit And I returned it. Yeah, I regret it every day since because they were it was so I went back to get it It was sold out as it before did would you have had to have a tailored it all like with a sleeves long or I think it was perfect It was perfect. Okay, it was meant to be and I was a coward. I would like blazers to really come a nice blazer. Yeah. You have that with bomber.

I mean, there's like casual jackets are a thing. No, but it's not like you were saying, and we talked about this, but when you get to a certain stage of success or wealth, you can stop wearing the, you know, the straight suit. Like when Seinfeld rolls around, the jeans and the blazer, the jeans in the blazer, but a pair of Nike's, he looks good. But it's so, it's so funny because I think you dress like the style of when you blew up. Because like, he's, because he's wearing that outfit, but then it's like Nike shocks and

you're like, yeah. Oh, she's clean. They're fresh. You and fucking one's Carter. He does a Nike shock, dude. He does pumps. But he is, he is a They're clean, they're fresh. You and fucking, when Vince Carter, he doesn't love a Nike shop, dude. He does pumps, what do you mean? He is a good dresser, sign fell.

Sure. I mean, when you're that rich, it doesn't have to take that much effort, I guess. But like, he does, I think he looks pretty sleek. Oh, you put Jerry in a suit for you. Yeah. He had about it. It's over.

His hair's longer now, too. He looks incredible. He looks better than he did. Incredible. 10 years ago or whatever. Yeah, because the hit, because the style in the 90s, like all the Seinfeld people are like, you know, like Jerry is like not a bad looking guy, but

the hair is rough on that show. Same with Elaine. Elaine is insanely hot, but I would rather fuck Veepe, Julie Louie Dreyfus. Then Seinfeld, she changed, she changed with when she had the the poof the season two hair. Yeah, she changed it. And when she started working for Peter, man, as getting it up yeah a little bit of cash Peter was a looker. Peter man was fucking hot. Yeah. I've seen that guy's like gorgeous. Yeah. Yeah. And he's got a great voice. Oh yeah. He does a lot of radio. Yeah. Like for like radio stations like you're tuned into B 101 or whatever it's great. But in the 80s and the very early 90s and the 70s too,

they could only have gotten away with those hair styles, then like Jerry's hair in the show was like, it didn't look like there was any product in it, it's just that's how it grew. Into that kind of mullet kind of thing. You know what I mean? I don't know how it had those at the time. Yeah, like now you would never,

you would have something in your hair. Yeah, it's like the 86 Metz haircut. Yes. Yeah. It's the Keith, that's what it is. It's the Keith Hernandez. Yeah. Gary Carter, they all had hair like they did.

It was like long curly hair. Yeah. And that shit, and then you even have the dudes like Kelsey Grammer who like went bald and they're like, I'm going to keep the back up. Keep the back. You have a curly mullet, dude. Yeah, I was tired. But you're like dignified.

Made it work. But he looked better as when he did cut it though. On cheese, he had it, right? Yes. And then when he was on Frazier, he was clean cut, good looking. He sure did up a little bit. Yeah, Frazier fucking rules.

Dude, that was a sleeper. I didn't watch it when it was on. It was just like too smart for my dumb family, I guess. It was like, nobody would, we wouldn't watch that. They're all like brick layers and stuff. But then I watched it, I think on Netflix, like five years ago for the first time. And I was like, this is so fucking funny.

It's funny. It's what you're raising. But you realize about the character, and even on cheers too, as educated and formal as he was, he was a scumbag at heart. He really was always trying to get one Oh, you get caught in a lie. You had to keep it moving. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was always pulling trying to pull the ball over someone's eyes He was always trying to get laid. Oh, he was a food. I mean, that was his line. I'm listening That's the dude is trying to get laid. I love the

Yeah, keep the shirt dude. You should have kept the shirt I love the class. Yeah, keep the shirt, dude. You should have kept the shirt. Make that to the point. I just talk about resetting. All right, holy shit, you're a real pro. All right, let's see. This one's in the same, this one is fashion as well.

This is from Negiganski, shout out to you. Shout out to you. Is it garbage for your entire wardrobe to be Amazon essentials? Which I've never really dabbled on the essentials clothing. You have to know what that is. So they have their own cheap, like Kirkland signature. Yes.

Which I love. Yeah. Amazon essentials is pretty good for everything. Like all stock, like kitchen stuff or whatever can all be Amazon essentials. You can just get cheap shit on Amazon. Everything that's like seven bucks is Amazon essentials. We get a bunch of shirts.

That shirt, the first shirt, Gilles Waron, the blue, and the blue, like Godship. Polo was Amazon Essential. He sold a couple of those things, huh? Yeah, they ran him out of stock. That could move dick. There you go. Okay, so that's what I thought about.

But I haven't crossed the bridge into Amazon clothes, have you? I think I got a shirt once. Like I think I have like a white button down. Okay. But yeah, no, I don't really. Do you spend money on clothes? Yeah, where are you going, clothes shop? I got a shirt once like I think I've like a white button down okay from that but yeah No, I don't really do you spend money on clothes? Yeah, where are you going? Close shop? Geez, I don't know not create like what are your jeans? Let's start there jeans the jeans I actually were last night or free I got them Who's a sponsor of our podcast I wear those I'll go like Nord sometimes. Wait, do we're not doers like the whiskey or what?

No, I'll fucking funny with that. That's what I thought. I hear such a booze bag that's literally what I was like, damn, he's got fucking whiskey jeans. Yeah, this shirt is Makers Mark and, yeah, no. So it was that, I'll get jeans at Nordstrom Rack sometimes. I don't really shop a ton, but like, cause I don't like shopping,

but like, I'll get like a nice jacket for like a special. Okay. So the thing you do once every year is, when the worst part of that, I feel like I can't wear it again, because just people were like, oh, that's the only jacket I just saw special. So no, I'll get, I'll go like,

I'll get like cool jackets sometimes, but yeah, I don't, I don't spend a ton of money on clothes. As a New York guy, we talk about this time of the year, I'm sure you like a nice, a nice light jacket for the fall. Love, yeah, occasionally I went to, I produced Gary Veter Special, which is going to come

out on December or something. And I got, I made him wear suit. So I got him a suit. Because I was like, I want him to wear suit. Because he's all one liners. So I was like, you should wear a suit. It's very old. It's like out of place in time almost.

And he was like, all right. So then I was there where it suits supply. I was like I'm gonna get some fucking cool So supplies got some good stuff and it's relatively affordable. It's pretty inexpensive That's what I want to deal dude. Yeah, he likes it. I really feel weird but paying full price for shit Do you remember Mo Ginsburgs in New York back in the day? It was it was I remember the ads Yeah, it was a book in iceberg Mo Ginsburg You would go they'd get like four suits for one. It was like a men's warehouse. Yeah, my grandpa Joseph A. Bank My grandpa was high up at Lomans. Do you remember Lomans? No, so I know the name it was like an outlet store It was like cheap affordable clothing with designers and he was like a big dude over there

So we would go there and that was all our shopping and my mom got a discount So it was already like marked down three times and then my mom took out like a Romans card And then he knocked out like another 25% so I'm like, did I just get a blazer for three dollars? You all funny You all us. Yeah, here's your six dollars. Yeah, Romans was fucking cool. They but they they went they went down Yeah, they were back to school shopping when you when shop and when you, when you were a kid? What, what, what that look like? Well, I went to, I went to an old boy school in the city.

So it was like a uniform. Yeah, I had to wear a blazer and, uh, yeah. So it was just like, I had like one blazer. I wore every fucking day. Where'd you go? Browning in Midtown. You did, huh? Then we know that probably.

That's the first episode. That's up there. That's like, that's like a spence. Yes. Yes. And, uh, yeah, blazer, tie, and I hated it. It's, it's, it made me, it's like having too much sugary cereals, a kid, you fucking don't want to dress up.

Sure. Sure. Or that makes sense. Yeah. But, uh, it makes sense. I feel silly. I see you, those kids running around the city though after school. Well, they look like businesses.

Yeah. It's hilarious. A bunch of little mountains running around. I used to have a friend who would do a joke about it, like the kid with the roly bag and he's like, oh, fuck, I got a spelling bee in Chicago. You know, you're like, it's a good bit. Yeah, he doesn't do comedy anymore.

This guy named Mike Barish. I'm taking that bit. I called dibs. That bit's up for grabs. Yeah, cut that out. And get me a roller bag. That's always weird to me. The guys who just like have hilarious shit. There was this guy I knew early on named Glenn Coil and it was like

one of the first comments ever. Many died. He was really funny. He was always just like seemed like the worst habit. It's always always pounding booze, always gambling every bad vice he had something someone I know I call marille's bits when he dies Keep it here. I know where's Elizabeth be a great auction man. I'm just watching him having your watch his airplane chunk Seven dollars. That was a good bit. What the hell yeah, but he had a bit. I love where he goes He goes my girlfriend got Luke Derrers fuck I fucked it up my girlfriend got Luke Derrers disease. So I traded her That's My girlfriend got Luke Garrer's disease, so I traded her. That's a good bit. That's a great fucking bit. That's a good smart bit.

That reminds the auction it off reminds me of, I was something similar that I think in Seinfeld's, I'm telling him for the last time, when he's putting to bed all that material, and it's all, they literally have, it's like Robert Klein, all those people, drawing blanks and all their names now. But he have it in a Stanley, everybody's there.

Paul Reiser and George Wallace. Yes, and they have all the material in a coffin. And like he's put it to bet like he's, you know, he's bearing it for the last time. And like, Shanley or somebody, or Robert Klein walks up and like, Grant and like, he's like saying goodbye, like you would a body. Like, I miss you so much, but he's writing down bits that he sees in there

He's like you're not gonna use it That's man, that's such a great guy. Yeah, it was great damn he Did you ever get any clothes from anybody when they died? Like when I was like an uncle or something like that. Oh, actually yeah my grandpa Yeah, he was like very and it's funny, but he was like he'd like left me close, but he was like his initial to be monogrammed on him. Like, you think I wanna wear like J, G, J, G shirts? It was like, you're in the outside of the inside.

On the outside. It was like collared shirts, and he was like, my initials on all of them. And I'm like, I can't wear, Yeah, it's a little weird. It's a little weird, but. Spinning is a new cool brand. The gesture was very sweet,

but I can't wear this. I got I got all my uncles old suits when he went when he passed But he took everything with triple starch Like they would like literally cut your neck Like the shirts were just shows so sharp all Joseph a bank suit and there was a time when he would show up somewhere I just wore them in all like he got all of these like nicer clothes that he doesn't have anywhere to wear them. So he would show up to like the village lantern and a trench coat and we'd like what are you doing dude. Oh my you're here to bark man. He's got a briefcase and stuff like what are you doing. Yeah it was weird. I remember barking and I'm like man you really wear you got to dress you don't want to be like the well dressed beggar. Sure. Yes. You know what I mean

I remember I hated barking so much. Like the pity people would give you with, I remember hand out flyers, like upper west side. It was like a hundred and seventh. It was a hundred and seventh and west end. It was a place called the Underground Lounge. And the worst is like, I didn't mind handing out flyers in time square

because you get a million people walking in there. Yeah. Up at west side, it's like two people every three minutes. So you're just like bored out of your fucking mind. But I remember a woman just walked right up to me and she went, aww. Oh. It fucking broke.

I was like, this is it. Or then you get the people in your show. And your bomb. Well, you're like, oh my God, so many big names in the show tonight. And then it's like four people in the crowd. And then you go up and they're like, what the fuck? Yeah. You're just a great guy. You're just, oh my God, so many big names in the show tonight. And then it's like four people in the crowd. And then you go up and they're like, what the fuck? Yeah.

You're just a great guy. You're just a re-vee. You're living all over. Yeah. Yeah, a lot of great guys. Sam Morelle's here. They're like, oh, I have an herb. He's very good.

You should. Young kid, real good. I met her. That was a good start. I met her. I met a dance teacher in Germain. He was barking. And this was the most self-loathing thing I've ever seen a person do.

He handed out flyers fruit an hour and a half First stage time and he goes I'm gonna leave and the guy was like you only have to do 10 more minutes and he goes Nah, I'm good. He just did an hour and a half for no reason. I was like this dude sick This is a sick fall. I did that caddy at one time. I was like two holes to go and I was like yeah, I'm getting out of here I can't do it anymore. I'm like, but you're on your own. Yeah. When in doubt, use the three iron. Yeah, I was done.

I was done. I was like, he can't do this thing. I'm fucking out of here. Goddamn. I've definitely quit jobs like, quit jobs like that. I'd go to the bathroom or lunch and just be like, I'm not going back. Oh, I just walked straight out.

It feels good. Yeah. As Kastanza said, the walk out. The walk out feels good. Yeah, that's Kastanza said the walk. The walk out feels great. The fact that that's a real story is the craziest shit. A liar David, on SNL, right? Walked out and quit and then just showed back up.

I was joking. That's great. What an insane thing. You thought that was real? Yeah, I did all the time. That's, I mean, to throw away that kind of money at that point of your career. Oh, yeah, writer for SNL.

But I also, I get it. His brain is like too... Narotic, not in a bad way. It's just too hyper. I was like, I don't want to do this, so I said, like, he focuses on the negative. I knew it was right from... I don't think I knew that was from SNL.

That's what he, I'm always positive it is. Right, that's the moral. Jesus. Yeah. Do you think the job back? I SNL. That's what he was positive. It is right? That's the moral. Jesus. Yeah. Is it the job back? I think so. No shit. I think comedy writer.

They slipped up a Mickey. It's a good thing to do. But yeah, he was too, he couldn't be confined to that type of like, he needs to go crazy. That's why curb is like perfect for him. He needs a rated R environment. Sure. Say whatever the fuck he wants and do whatever he wants. Yeah.

There's not a big rule follower. Another guy's not making the rules. Balled with the long hair and the bass, true. Rocks it. Also, but seasons when it was tighter and like, CRISPR a little bit, not so... It works on him though. Barks great on him.

Cause he's zany, yeah. It works great on like... It's a funny look. It's a good comedic look. Yes. It's not trying to be cool. That is the thing too of like, you know, you're trying to buy nice clothes. It's so anti-comedy as a whole. So anti-cool. Isn't that

true? Where you're like, I can't put like, I would like to be like, I'd like to wear that jacket, but I could not walk up and be like, well, it's up to like, you can't be cool and also do comedy. We're not supposed to be winners. Yeah. It's inherently, it's weird to be, but then also, you're like playing these bigger venues and you don't want to look like you don't give a shit about the crowd. It's this weird contradiction. We were like, I need to look like I care. But also like it's so, I think that this thing is to just wear shit that fits. I think that's it.

Yeah. Because a lot of dudes, I say that as I'm wearing a fucking oversized shirt and fucking shorts that are too short. Guys all over the road. You do a real racket ball Have you played pickle ball? No, and I won't I don't I guess it. It's fun. It's fucking. It's tennis right? No No, it's like ping pong meets tennis. Yeah, all right. It's really shorter But you're gonna ball over a net. Yeah, pretty fun. I don't know ball. No, it's like a wiffle ball

So it doesn't go that fast. So it's like you know older people. Okay, I don't know I do like it's so popular tennis is so fucking popular right now. Yeah, it's hot It's I was watching some of them holy shit. It's like it's amazing. You had soap and was all right It was so Don't surprise you would you wouldn't know I've never been a one I love to but man I'm surprised you would you wouldn't know I've never been a one I love to but man This fucking it's so funny that Russian you just get the boot for being Russian and he's so Medvedev, but he's so fucking funny. Yeah, Russians are so dark and funny. Oh, yeah

They're just they're just like boo and he's just like Yeah, I think that's the worst part of his year. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Now his life is probably now it's good, but or that he's the one pulling the strings over there and saying I don't even own a drone. What the fuck you want from me? Fuck out of my family. Yeah, I wasn't advising Putin on this one. Yeah. Crazy.

I said stay. Relax. All right. Let's see. This one's from K $10 loaner new homey. Is it garbage to save podcast episodes to burn on a CD for your car because your phone is broken? Damn, that's crazy.

People still got burners like that? Probably can burn. Every computer can probably has the capability, I guess there's no CD. Not even a disk in this thing. Yeah, no, I know, that's an option. You need to get an adapter. There's one on that though.

There's probably no CD drive on that. There sure is. And that's a very expensive computer. Really? Damn. I don't know. That makes sense, yeah. That's like having a printing press.

You got fucking ripped off. There's no CD burner in that thing? That's your computer. That's our computer. God, we got ripped off of that thing. It's not as bad as like burning it on like a mini disc, but it's not far off. It's not good.

Mini just never got steam. They were cool for like a yee, not even that. I know what you're talking about. There was a CD inside of them. Yeah, it looks like that. Yeah, it was like the clear disc. I just don't. Yeah, I mean, it's funny.

I don't. Someone I had, Stavros gifted me DVDs on my birthday because he's like, just these are movies I know you love. So he like got me criteria on all of it. I don't have a DVD player. You don't. I figured you would still have a DVD player and some DVDs on my birthday because he's like just these are movies. I know you love so he like got me criteria on all Like I don't have a DVD player. You don't I figured you would still have a DVD player and some DVDs on display I don't I just stream or I yeah, but get everything online at this. I should get I should get one I don't know. Maybe I'll get one after I know the roses still has a pretty strong DVD collection Yeah, Joey roses. Joey Rose. He likes that stuff though

He's in the like the you know the video games and stuff. He's a Tangible this yes, Kim, but talk about beam shout out be me up baby Yeah, let's go gang We know that the best thing you could do for yourself is gonna good night sleep Remember not gonna good night sleep. You're gonna be jammed up that could be associated with weight gain It could be associated with slow-light white blood cell count and mental health. Poor mental health, no bueno. I can't get you some beam over there. I can't get you some of good night's sleep.

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when you go to shopbeam.com slash garbage and use the code garbage to check out that's beam. I'm sorry, that shop beam, B-E-A-M dot com slash garbage. Use the garbage and get up to 40% off do it. Yeah, it's weird That kind of makes you like being a collector Aventored shit. It's like what's the line between being a collector and just like a fucking hipster It's a very fine line. Well, they're not your dick about it. Sure. Yeah, I've got an attitude He does a cool. He collects cool stuff. Yeah, I guess. He also dresses pretty well too.

He dresses cooler for a comic, or else it's a little punk rock. He's got, if you ever look. He'll show up in a cool T-shirt and a real nice bomber. Or like a laser. He'll show up in a laser. A cool, a different, a pair of pants I couldn't pull off. Yeah.

Yeah, wasn't, we saw him at that. At Chrissy D, was it Chrissy D? He had like a pair of quarterly's on or something like that, that were real sharp. Like you Chrissy D. He had like a pair of quarterly's on or something like that. That were real sharp like you're praising him. And then I know they did. He had those suspenders on. Remember that?

That's his ace in the hole. Yeah, they looked real good. I don't know what it was. It was quarterly something. Dude, look like a sharp A. Man, now he, yeah, I guess he does. He does. He's got a bit of a flair, not a norm.

I mean, like we're all just, he's not a standard, like blue jeans on black t-shirts. Well, comedians are scared to take any fashion risks because you're going to get crushed in the green room. Oh my God. Any time I put something on, I just, I hear Keith Robertson's voice. Yes, thank you. Oh, you are the worst. How dare you? You get a fucking haircut, comedians shit on.

Yeah. You do anything that's different than how you are. It's like, by the way, the same comedian who is like, we need to accept trans people, then that you show up with a slightly different haircut. They're like, you fucking pussy. Yeah. You know what, the fucking idiot.

I'm like, what happened to, what happened to that acceptance? I remember we were barking down in the village years ago and we were like trying, we were trying to get to the point where it's like, okay, you know, we don't want it. We want to try to maybe move out of open mics. You want to try to do some produce shows, like bar shows. So you know how there's like that, those, those steps of like, all right, try to be a little more presentable. You know what I mean? Don't look like a

dirt bag or whatever. Let me bomb in a college shirt. Yeah. Reggie conquest, man. Showed up in this fucking short sleeve button down floral print And he got out of the cab across the street and this the fucking laser dots all over him There was like 15 of us on the corner and he knew he was walking into a fucking beating dude and we were we were on the Fucking hanging on a fucking mailbox. It's like dirt balls like look at his guy in a fucking shirt Yeah, it's tough. Yeah, you always have to have tough look I'll go shopping like with my wife of her like somewhere I'm like and she'll be like oh, this would be great

I'm like that would be great and I do kind of look good in it and I it is nice I go but there is no where for me to wear that I do a live show maybe nah some of the stuff. It's You know, I just I'm like I don't feel comfortable in it. There's I'm not wearing it on stage if I don't feel comfortable I made the mistake on our podcast it was a winter and Uniclo has that great heat tech stuff for the winter so I keep it's like you can layer up you stay warm But I got one they were out of I just wanted black but they were out of black so I got it was a turtleneck Ooh and I showed up and Norman goes what is this your one-man show?

I'm just getting killed for it, the whole episode. And I fucking deserved it. I mean, I looked ridiculous. It was a bat, but it's like, guess what man, those turtlenecks, they keep you warm, but you can't dress for comfort if you're a comedian. You gotta be careful. Yeah, that's the problem, it's like.

Or comfort to a degree, sure. No, it was a, any outfit, I remember I was at the comic strip start now and this owner, Bob Wax, who passed away, but he was like very much about like, you know, it was owned by Richie, who was like the blue collar, Bronx guy, and Bob, who was like the upper east side. Like, you should be presentable. And I remember he pulled me aside, like,

you need to dress better on stage. He really like shooting out for it, front of a lot of people, could I dress like shit? And he goes, I wanna see you in a polo shirt. And I was like hungry to get stage. I'm like, I'll do whatever it takes to get stage time. I showed up in a polo shirt and I just got crushed by every comics like, you fucking listen to him.

He's the fucking bad guy. Yeah. He's the guy you don't listen to. And yeah, I got killed, I deserved it. It's tough man. It's awesome. I've never had more anxiety.. It's obviously I you know, I have a bit of a set costume or you know wardrobe black t-shirt jeans I have stuff I wear on the road like all the live shows But then you feel like you're cop and Louie cuz that like I feel like a Louie like that outfit is like the Louie classic

But I wear a watch because of Louie really yeah, 100% why is that I don't know He always looks his watches always look great. It's got nice watch. I like the nice watch Thank you. That's I literally why fishing for compliments. He just got it Watch Sam. No, but that's what that's why I wear a watch like this because I like the way it looks on Louis arm You watch the you at the US open by the way Do you see the watches of this thing? The tennis player finishes the match, runs to the locker room and like puts on a watch. I'm like, that's always been a big watch sport. It's a watch. Yeah, Rolex sponsors. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

But it's like, man, it does. I'm with you. A nice watch looks nice. Nice watch guy. You have any? I have one. Yeah. Nice watch. It is a pair of sneakers. Yeah. I think I think it's always the way to go. I I think it's a joke is I thought it was so stupid for the longest time, but the reason I like a nice watch is you can dress like shit and still look like you kind of care. Yeah, put a little more. We're just talking about this. I have one that I wear at weddings or if I'm going out

with my like whatever, that's the only time I wear it. It's like if you have a suit on, it just looks that much nicer. And I like knowing the time without having another reason to look at my phone. Oh, mine are all right. Up until I was wearing another one that was broken for like four years, but it looked nice. How about people that were the Apple watch? I'm like, you need to another place, you can get text messages.

It's just like, that's, that was like, you need an escape from the phone. I don't like it. I see people on comics on stage with the mic and then they're like, yeah, so, you're like, what are you, you're, you're, it's a 15 minutes say, you're not taping, you're like, what are you, you're, you're, you're, it's a 15 minutes set. You're not taping, you're like, what are you doing? I get that, I'm 14 minutes. 15 minutes. Oh, no, no, I'm my phone, like,

I'm like, yeah, no, try new stuff. Oh, yes, no, they're not looking to notes. They're like someone emailed them and they're like clearing up. They're not reading it, but they're like clearing because they don't look at all like pop up. And I'm like, what is this? No, that's horrible.

You could shut it down for 15, you look at your phone for notes, of course. Hey, I do it every time, but that's horrible. You can shut it down for 15, you look at your phone for notes, of course. I do it every time, but that's crazy. 15 minutes. It feels rooter than the phone, because at least the phone you're like, I'm sorry, I'm just giving it, but this, they try to sneak it in. Yeah, my mom does it.

My mom's fucking, I didn't want my mom last night. She's like, ignoring me, looking at texts on her phone, on her wristwatch. I gotta be honest, the conversation was a little like that I'm bored, my, you know my mom did the other that really fucking pissed me off. I, I'm, you know, at this travel, we get the late, like eight hours, I have an eight hour delay. I'm so angry and my mom, and my mom, I say, she's like, how are you?

Like, fucking eight hour delay, I'm losing my mind. She just goes, well, they're having a hard time. I'm like, the airlines? You're my mom, you're shining with your native. Yeah, you kidding me? Man, she's about big businesses. I don't think they are struggling. I think they get bailed out every few years

and they're doing quite well. Damn. When you guys go to dinner, who's picking up that check? Usually them. But if it's like Father's Day or like a birth, obviously birth obviously I pay but okay. Yeah nice. Yeah, how about you? I'm trying to more and more. I know I got a deep better. I'm I'm at the age I really should be at this point my brother I know I know I know I know I'm chicken fingers My parents ain't eating chicken fingers. They're my parents are in their 70s and in very good health.

Like, yeah, like very, both very Lee and very. Tell them like a nice dinner too. Yeah, my restaurant. My dad is like the healthiest man I've ever met. He's like literally, you would not think he's my fault. Like, who doesn't really drink ever. He'll have like, he'll order a salmon and take like two bites and be like, I'm good.

I'm like, this is like weird Yeah, what are you doing? No kid? This is your a needer. You go I see though you got on the road you'd go nice restaurants That's all Gary be there. That's all Gary Veter Gary Veter opens and he wants he's such a food con I mean he's like every city He's like you better take me out fancy tonight like I've never dated a woman who talks like this But Gary's like I want five stars, bitch. It take my dog to the vent.

We're in a group thread and it's always like, I found a restaurant tonight and it's gonna cost you. It's funny. Yeah. I got so sick in Arizona. I was like, very sick last time I played stand-up live and all Gary talked about the whole way was Pizzeria Bianco. He's like, I want to go to Pizzeria Bianco and I was so sick.

I mean, luckily I'm a low energy act, so I can just do the set. Just get me out there, I'm gonna go. But dude, I'm downing Nightquill and I pass out in between sets, I'm like, that's sick. And all the dice, I feel, but you're in set? Nightquill or dayquill? Oh, yeah, I'm nightquill, I'm trying to,

yeah, yeah, cause I want to pass out right after the set. So I'm, I'm dying. And then Gary, as I'm this sick on the couch goes, cause I wanna pass out right after the set. So I'm, I'm dying and then Gary, as I'm this sick on the couch goes, you promise pizza we have Bianca. Not any okay, but you promised me a better meal. He's such a fucking prick. No, I love him.

I do love him. Have you had any restaurants stay open late for you? Any like the tour manager ever line that up of like, hey, we have Mr. Morell and town. He big ass. He takes swings. I don't think that everybody bites. I think, of like, hey, we have Mr. Morell and down. He begs. He takes swings. I don't think that everybody bites. I think it has happened, but like, I don't, I don't,

no, I mean, I remember opening for his Z's back in the day. I'm sure. And he's got the wrap of being a foodie too. Yes. So they really wanted to impress him. That's got to be a good feeling, man. Yeah, it was, it was, he eats very well. And then, uh, yeah, Schumer, go out with Schumer or it was really good food.

Back room, private dining kind of situation. Uh, no, she would eat like just with everybody. I would do a riff riff. Yeah, yeah. Um, she has like a fucking awesome palette too. She used to take us out to, like big comic dinners at Keen's steakhouse which is out to hard to beat Keens man just like the vibe the food. But yeah we I mean look we eat well because Gary will like pick but it's not about the like nicest it's about

just like what's the coolest like you find these like little little spots. Yeah dude I'll tell you like you get surprised we're Milwaukee we got Serbian, I'll tell you, like you get surprised. We were in Milwaukee. We got Serbian food. I'm like, this is like one of the best meals in my life. Really? Yeah, no, just every city has this like awesome food culture now. It's crazy. Yeah, it's true. That is true.

You get anything anywhere. And it's like stuff that you're like, I don't know what Serbian food is. I'm like, I'm assuming it's like maybe like kind of similar to Middle Eastern type food. I don't know what Greek food is. It's mostly shoes. I'm sure I go to Santa.

Yeah, but dude, it's like quality shoes. It's like, they're no scene. I was like, this is good leather. I was like, red wings and, yeah. No, the red wing. I'm the red wing. That's a more. That was, but then the meat pie,

the meat pie and shit like that. It's like crazy good. Damn. Yeah, you go to Green Point, man. You get some Polish food, bowl your pie and shit like that. It's like crazy good. Damn. Yeah, you got a green point, man. You get some Polish food, boil your brains out. I love that. Green point is like underrated. It's still such a cool.

It's a very cool. It is, I'm not untouched, but it's, they're developing it a lot more now, but it still has that Eastern European culture, like the Polish culture to it. Oh, they're touched. They've been touched. Sure.

They're couple of condos. Like when a spacey's boys, they've been touched. But still that street, condos. Like one of Spacey's boys. They've been touched. But still that street, whatever that street is, it's fucking awesome. It's all still living. Yeah, it's all the little shops and stuff. Great Colin Quinn joke. I think it was in a New York, I don't even know where I heard it, but he's like, Greenpoint is such a perfect place for a Polish neighborhood because you can see Manhattan, but it takes

four hours to get there. It was like, it was, a fucking really smart poll, joke. Colin Quinn's New York story is like, maybe it's like top five for me. That bit about how it's a walking city in New York and like, you know, drivers, you know, like, oh my god, I almost got hit by that person. You know, like that's how much a walking city. His observations are just so like the observation about your, you're in line to get food in any other city.

It's polite to be like, hello, how are you? But in New York, that's rude. Yeah, you're holding up the line. It's like just amazing observation. That and crossing, if you're on the express train is a very New York. But if you're on the express train and the local trains across the platform, hey, you, you want the doors to close quicker so they can get on the express train? You're like, the platform. You want the doors to close quicker so they can't get on the express train.

You're like, every up, every up, every up. It's such, it's all, he's so good. And he goes, you see them walking over, woo, you're like, you mouth breather. I don't want you on my train. It's very like, yeah. Or the, like, how the, we're just quote, and call on one bit.

But they're the best bits. And he had a thing about how the L train used to be like, you know, all black. And he's like, you get on the Williamsburg L-train now, it's like a fucking ski lift. You know, it's like, oh my God. It's like, just all about the perfect words. Yeah.

Is it gonna imagine somebody getting out of jail, the one in the jail in the, in the jail in the 80s and gets out and out and they get on the L-training, he's like, all right, we're going back to Brooklyn. It's all like girls with iPads and stuff. He's like, what the hell is this a setup? He gives me movie wrecks, Colin Quinn,

because he's seen every movie. He's just one of those dudes. I saw him on the Criterion Clause on YouTube, and I was like, holy shit, Colin Quinn's, he's talking about these weird foreign films. Guys just knows, and Mark got it. Very smart guy. He just knows everything.

So I'll hit him up with movies, and then occasionally I'll have to go on and I wreck this movie to him once, and he was so angry at me. I wrecked this old, it was like a old movie called Mikey and Nikki with Peter Falk and John Cassavetes and I just saw it randomly and it's slow but it's a fucking great movie and he's text me 25 minutes in and go, he's fuck you. I hate this movie, this movie stinks and I was like, oh my God, I was like so panicked.

I went a half later he text me, me goes, okay, it was good. It got there. Yeah, nice. I only met him once or twice, waited on him back in the day in the West Village. Really? CQ, small light lunch cup of tea, hit me with a 50. Wow.

He's a known, we want to have him on the show. He's a known big hit. We haven't had him on. Yeah, I would love that. He would do this. Yeah, he hates doing podcast. Nice. He's done ours and it was like,

it was a fight. It was a fucking fight to get on. Yeah, what happened? This was the process of getting Colin Quinn on our show. He, his manager, text me, Colin wants to do your podcast and I just, I was like, no, he doesn't. I know he doesn't want you to know him.

I know you're trying to get him on, but I know he doesn't want to do it. I know Colin and then I ran into Colin on the street Like a day after and I was like, hey, man Do you want to do it like obviously we want to have you on but I thought you hate doing podcasts? And he goes no fuck your podcast. I don't want to do your podcast And then I get a text from his manager later that day Colin is agreed to do your podcast This is the process for booking him and then we got him Joe's pizza too,

because I know I got to put him in a good mood if he's going to come in. Yeah. What is I'm speaking to Joe's? What's your favorite New York slice? I might have done this on your last episode. Slice? I like, I mean, I'd say the one I go to the most is Joe's. Just because it's like open lay, it's something about that smell. It's availability, consistency, location. It's such a, it's a really good, but it's like a knock around. So there's always pop in and get a good spot. But for vibe, if I'm sitting down and eating pizza,

I love Johns, but the one I go to the most is our Turros, I would say, because I'm housed in, because right in the corner, next to James. Yeah, one of the co-loven places Just a good energy. Yeah, the old New York playing the piano and their stuff. I just fucking like I feel like I'm I feel like I'm gonna fucking noir something. I love it. Damn honestly pizza Are you do you not eat pizza anymore? I'm laying off the zah That's good. I do you look fucking good thanks. Thanks. Thanks. That's amazing man. I'm really fishing the Zah. That's good. Do you look fucking good? Thanks, Fancy. Thanks, Fancy.

That's amazing. Man, I'm really fishing the watch. I know, right? Well, you look fucking good, man. I'm happy. I'm happy. I don't, you know. Thanks, Fancy.

You're fucking doing well. We want to keep you around. Thank you, buddy. But you and me both. Fuckin' we finally, we finally get successful. And he gets the fat as he's ever been. That's when it happens. I know.

Hey, trust me, me too. ever been that's when it happens. Yeah. Hey trust me me too Get it all right. Let's do let's do one or two more here. This one's just funny This is from our WM are you garbage if you bet on the little league world series Batman that's fucking crazy. What if you like action? You like action? They're televising it and it's open game to me They're not doing that. I'm like the Action they're televising it and it's open game to me. They're not doing that on like the the Sports books sites right? That's probably going to a bookie. I don't think I don't think draft Kings is A lot of bet on minor Drunks getting mad at children you were supposed to fucking hit a home run here

I got a nickel on a high school volleyball game I will say this my friend text me a while, like years ago, that he's like the fucking, he lost a lot of money on like the Minnesota links. And I was like, you betting on fucking WMBA, I'm being like, wow, that's like a fucking, you have a gambling problem. Yeah, that's crazy. That's crazy.

But, no, I think whatever, I, you know, anything, especially if your kids are playing in a fucking game on it, make it a little fun. Of your, yeah. Bet against them. Yeah. Well, either way you're a winner, right? You're happy they win.

Oh, my full of their Gatorade. Huh? A little P Rose action. Nothing. Ain't nothing to cry about, Timmy. Dinner's on me tonight. A literally grown series. I mean, everybody really gets behind that one.

That's a perfect time in the summer. Everybody loves it. Mom's love it. Dad's love it. Everybody loves it. I love it. I love the sound of the bat. Oh, there's a moment of bat in the pose.

Yeah. I love it. No, the pro's pro baseball It's got a little better this year, but I mean he's family fucking suck, but Man baseball just fell off. I love it. Did the older I get the more I love it. I still I love this Philly's team I really do. Yeah, well, it's just They just fucked up the MLB man like they just were so averse to any social media They need Toby to work for fucking baseball. He's not for sale Also, hate baseball. It's the worst sport on winter really terrible. I love it

I loved it in the 90s so much and like skateboarding stealing stuff from 7-11 No, it's man. Oh the cool coolest things you can do. That's pretty good Well, you go to a game. Have you been to a Yankees game? Not a while. I haven't been in this year. He's a hoops man. I don't like I don't like the commute. Yeah, I went to a Liberty game with Stavry. So I just see that it was fun as hell, man. We had a great time. I like I love live basketball. I love are you only front row at the garden from now on? Is that how we're doing it? No, I mean, I'll truly fucking take truly fucking take it, but I know dude. I'll sit in the fucking nose. We'd still I don't give a shit I'm a nixie. I mean you're doing the fucking goddamn theater. They can't they can't juu-shi with a couple of good

Always nice to see a pic of Sam or else fucking sitting courts. I'll tell you that makes makes me feel like Yeah, warms my heart man. Yeah, we sit next to the for doing one of the playoff games. It was like I've sit next to the Jonas Brothers were on one side of me. John Starks was on the other. I'm getting high five in Starks in between plays. I'm like, this is fucking, I'm trying not to come. This is crazy. I love giant Starks. Now, can I ask you, did you throw down for those tickets? Or is that no, they, they hooked that up. But, but, uh, what would that have run yet? I can't imagine a Playoff game probably. 20?

Probably something crazy. But I love, I love live sports. My thing with, I love football. I love watching football at home. I don't want 100%. I can't talk. You miss everything. It's not only that, but like, I don't like bad drugs.

I'm done with that. I don't like being around. I don't like being stuck with bad drugs And these people are fucking They're having like seven beers in the parking lot before the game like what's wrong with that and now nothing But I don't I don't I don't know what they're looking to fight. That's what I mean It's a route. It's a route of like these fucking this woman the Bengals fan. Oh, yeah, the women are fighting in ways I'm like I don't fight like that. That's crazy. Yeah, they're doing shit with their like fucking

I'm like this is like the dad's get beat's crazy. Like they're doing shit with their like fucking I'm like This is like the dads get beat up in front of their kids. That's always kill me. I know like the dad just getting knocked The fuck out and the kids freaking out. It's like dude. What are you you're not supposed to realize your dad's a F**k pussy into your old. Yeah, that's when you're supposed to know first of all you shouldn't be wearing a Jersey It's fucking 45 and you're there with your kid and then some fucking dude knocks you the fuck out That therapy bill is gonna be bricy that's rough. Yeah, but I I do there's like certain things I do kind of want to go to a bills game at some point my life. I want to see you know I love I want to see a spectacle in person. I love it. I know it's gonna be insanity

But I I kind of like I'm a giant fan, but I kind of like bills fans because they're so fucking crazy Yeah, but I mean could it be a worst start to the fucking season with Aaron Rogers? Yeah. I'm a giant fan, but that was the worst shit. That's that, that's shitty. That was like, that was like, almost funny how bad it was. Yeah, it sucks. Like the worst, it was out of a movie of like,

all right, here it is. And then fucking four snaps and then that. If it was something dumb and he's back in two weeks, three weeks, all right, whatever. But man, that's, and the fact that he said, sorry, kid. I'm like, this is what is this? A fucking end of tombstone.

This is brutal. Poor bastard. Yeah, for me, Zach, I was just so me. When you're sitting court side, are you chirping? Yeah, you are. I got I'm shocked. I didn't get in trouble once because I was at a place. You're running into math to the players

More it's more encouraging I'm more like going next but I'll tell you years ago. I was courtside for a preseason game and God I was loaded I just kept drinking and John wall on the wizard. I feel bad about this I'm gonna I probably shouldn't even say this, cause it's so stupid, I did it. But he came off in a killi's injury and I fucking hated the wizards.

I just always kinda, they always bugged me and I just kept yelling. You've gained a lot of weight. Like, and he looked at me at one point and was just like, and then years later, he went, high school mean girl. Yeah, he was just like,

I was like, you've gained a significant amount of weight john and he was like i he's heard me and i was like oh shit i'm not used to being this close yeah i'm used to saying the shit in only the people around laugh yeah that's crazy and looked at me and i was like oh fuck and then years later he was like i've struggled with depression i was like i hate my shit i suck i i felt bad i developed an eating disorder yeah I was like I'm not even hidden in with witty lines I was at that level of drunk and No, I felt horrible. It's something you would say to your ex girlfriend. I

Never really love you Judge Stockton But god damn man, no damn yeah, I I that one you kind of have to watch a little cuz you're like these are fucking people and it's right there Yeah, it's gotten to a point to like Russell Westbrook. I love him to he's my fucking favorite. I just love Why are you talking shit that a guy that would fucking pat through you up? And he's like one of the only players in the league that I feel like may not cheat on his wife. Like he's that fucking loyal. Yeah.

I just like kind of love that dude. Yeah, he's just such a, takes a lot of heat too. Unfair heat. Yeah. But he, uh, yeah, he's just like my type of guy. I just like, look, he's just a fucking warrior. I love him. With that, that's not what it is.

Just my type of guy. That's a pretty guy. Yeah. But no, I love I mean, I that John Wall. Real oinker. You know what I mean? I really let himself go. Maybe have had a couple of beers in me. All right gang, Mr. Sam Arrell, theater of Madison Square Garden, November 4th. I'm all over the

road. All over the road. Chicago theater, September 30th. I've got a yeah stand-up live in Phoenix, October 5th through 7th. I got Indianapolis, Cincinnati, Columbus, Cleveland, Pittsburgh, all the end of October. Then we got the big one in MSG. We got a we got a oh I'm going Australia. So all over Australia in November. I can't believe I'm going man. I'm fucking pumped and then December We got like Vegas. We got At the win. I got Tampa. I'm going back to Naples. Fuck Naples where I'm going back and then Yeah, no, I free. Yeah, that's a that's an infamous one and then we got yeah, and then I'm adding a shitload of club dates

I'm gonna take my next special march. So it's like crazy. Awesome. So I gotta say shut up to fill. Yeah, like all Irvine everywhere, fucking Oklahoma Springfield, Missouri, like I'm going everywhere to get this shit air tight. I'm gonna tape it to Wilbur in Boston in March. Oh man. Next special, let's fucking go.

Let's go Sam Burrell, Kippy what he got for him. We're also all over the road. We're riding a third show in Toronto, get those tickets, Buffalo Pittsburgh, which I think is sold out. I think we're adding a third show in Toronto. Get those tickets. Buffalo Pittsburgh, which I think is sold out. I think we're adding a fourth one in Chicago. Get those tickets. Minneapolis Madison Milwaukee. Sacramento second show is almost sold out. San Francisco, San Jose and the second show at Philly In Philly at the Fillmore is more than halfway sold out. Get those fucking tickets. We love you gang. Grab those ticket gangs. We love you and Sam just to say we love you. True New Yorker, true New York comedian. One of the

absolute best. I love you guys, man. This is like the most fun podcast. I'm saying there's like a few that I really am pumped when you guys hit me up. I'm like, oh, this is one of them for sure. So thank you. Appreciate it. And we fucking dude. The glue. Thank you. No, truly, you're not wrong. Toby like, no, I knew it's funny when Toby was like I'm doing I'm doing I'm like oh, I know that before it even started with I know this pot is gonna blow up because it's dude so fucking good It's great. He's the best look at that T-bone. We're gonna cut that part, but You owe me 200 bucks by the No, okay, oh my god.

No, I was like, hold on. We just invited you to shake it down. That's a, what are these already been on? Oh my god. That's like my biggest fear is like, forgetting to pay something or something. I just did it two weeks ago. To him, yeah, what are you being mean?

I just did it to him yesterday, but I did it to one of our other editors. I remember I opened for a big comic once and he owed me money and I was like, I don't want to hit him up. No, you can't. But it bummed me out. He can't. he owed me money and I was like, I don't want to hit him up. No, you can't, but it bum me out. He can't. He owed me money.

I was like, oh, but I just got to eat it. Yeah, I got to eat it, but because if you say something, you'll never work with him again. And I never did. She's date. A couple of years later, I was like, man, I should have said something. But he definitely didn't do it on purpose. So it's kind of like whatever. Well, it happens, especially when those dudes get bigger.

It's like other people are paying the bills. It's like they don't know. They're just going, yeah, I assume everything got paid because I'm focused on the next thing. I know, but that's like my big Toby's cut a bunch of videos for me in the past. I'm like, Holy shit, do I actually owe him money? Yeah, he should've just said, yeah, split it with me. Gang, we love you, and we'll see you next week.

Peace. Gang, we love you and we'll see you next week. Peace.