Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Scott Chaplain: Jersey Trash

Episode Date: January 1, 2021

Kippy and Foley are back with comedian Scott Chaplain. Scott talks growing up in Jersey, parents fighting, and working in a slaughterhouse. You know Scott from Roast Battle and his podcast Garbage Days. Its a hot one! Bonus Episodes: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage T-Shirts: https://www.PodcastMerch.com Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/foleygrams/ Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? You're Trash.

Welcome to another exciting edition of are you garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H Foley. Everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast. This is our you garbage. The show we sit down with your favorite comedians. We find out they grew up classy. They're after absolute trash. I'm your host H Foley coming at you on a beautiful day here down the basement down here in Antutti's Christmas came early. If you notice, we got some mic stands in the building here. We could not be more excited. The stockings are stuffed by the chimney with care and hopes that's the perk man. Soon we'll be there. My co-host is coming at you right next to me. Take time writing these outdoor people enjoy them. I've heard several no one in this room. I got a lot of good up reviews on them. I'm telling you that right now. Yeah, give it up for the CEO of are you garbage. He's got his name on the lease. He's got his name on the fucking back of the boat. Give it up for Kevin James Ryan, everybody. The Baldy pull it out of the harbor. Yes, that's Rogaine. What's up, everybody. Thanks for tuning in. Thanks for all the support. Please make sure you rate review, subscribe on iTunes full video available on YouTube. Those numbers are true to roof. We appreciate it. Also, patreon.com slash are you garbage. You can sign up.

You can get bonus episodes of are you garbage bonus episodes of hard feelings where it's just me and fully going back and forth a little bit behind the curtain. You know what I mean. Also, at the end of every month, we're doing live streams with the highest level where you guys ask us questions. We ask you questions. It's going to be a fucking hoot. Get involved, baby. Thanks for everybody who signed up and don't forget, pick up a little pick up a little merch over there. Podcast merch.com. Grab yourself a garbaggio teacher. Let the kids wet their beaks for the holidays. Keep you warm in the winter. Times are tight over here. That's right. How about a nice big shout out to our producer extraordinaire. He put the whole thing together. He's a magic man working the ones and twos the T bone, the pride of Chicago. Chicago. Toby McMullen, everybody. Hey, how's it going, guys? Anybody looking to meet up? Come on down to the diversity rock and ball. And we are in lane 12. We got two for one pitchers Wednesday nights. And gang, we could not be more excited to have our incredibly special guest here with us today. He's an absolute get he's a fucking dream boat right now. He is a very funny standup comedian, podcaster and actor. As an actor, you've seen him in the action comedy horror cherry bomb. Of course, you've seen him on Jeff Ross's roast battle. And he is the co host of garbage days. And the big question

was mine today. Is he garbage? I don't know. But the kids a looker. And he's got a nice little body on him. Give it up for Scott Chaplin, everybody. What's up, gentlemen? How are we? You're good looking, dude. You know that. Come on. Saw on occasion. No, no. Now I got a little bit of a major face. I've been no team. It's all right here. Yeah, but who's kind of you too. It's all right here. Yeah, I remember. I remember some kid. Some kid and all of us. I'm kidding. Girl and elementary Jason Bateman face. We're looking at me across the room going like this. Like your whole face is right here. Okay, got to remember that for the next 25 years. I look like a frog. The kids could be mean. I don't see that. You're a good looking guy. Yeah, no. Cool, too. Very cool. 80s Hollywood. You got your own sitcom. Sure. Yeah. Sure. Yeah. Catching up with Scotty or something like that. Doing some, doing some hijinks around now. Staircase coming down on the main set. Woo! Be a good time. But buddy, thank you so much for coming in and sitting with us. I know a little bit about where you're from, where you've been. What's the, what's the fullback story? Jersey boy, right? Jersey kid.

Yeah, Jersey. I'm from Jersey. Born in Patterson, but then moved to a small town, Pequanic. Oh, I know Pequanic. Oh, yeah. Okay. Are you from Jersey? No, I do a girl in college that went to, that was from Pequanic. We can talk later. Marissa was her first time. Marissa. I don't know. That doesn't narrow down for North Jersey. Isn't that small in the town? That's fucking everybody. Graduated with 19 Marissa. My father was a cop and my mother, she was just a nice lady. But before, before I was born, she, she worked like the forensics at the, at the jail. Really? Yeah. And then she quit because the guys were like immature there or something.

Why don't you examine my dick? She said like that, like her boss, like they had, had a head and he like spun it around his head. Like, oh, what? Jesus Christ. Think about it. It's fucking a bunch of North Jersey mooks and he has a bunch of dudes. Yeah. Fame and a couple of all color jokes at the Christmas party. I didn't know, swinging people's brains around. That's fucked up. See, I always worry that the doctors take a peek at you when you're, when you're, when you're in there under surgery and stuff like that. Oh, why wouldn't they? Oh, they for sure. Shit. Oh, the words out now.

There's a couple of nurses at St. Mary's who were not thrilled by me. Do, uh, did your mom and dad meet that way? Did they meet on the job? No, no, no. They, they made each other in like seventh grade or something. What? And then they both kind of get into criminal justice for? I think it was just a thing, you know, like, I mean, I guess now they're trying to establish some rules where you need like a college education. But then it was like a cop. You just got to pass it. Yeah. I think the test was, it was like, my dad used to tell me it was like your mother and your father's drowning. Who do you save? And then you go like, oh, my mom. Yeah, yeah, probably. Yeah, it's a good, that's pretty good. It can go either way. Most likely.

You're in, kid. Yeah. No, it's, it's definitely a career path for, you know, a lot of, a lot of my family members are cops. Your mom and your dad are drowning, but the jet scheme's on. It's the fourth quarter. What do you do? No time out. So hold on. So your mom was a nice lady, small. Where was he a cop? Was he a cop in your, in your small town? The city county sheriff's department. Oh, that's like, that's a pretty good cop. So that's like Patterson to say, Clifton.

Okay. That's like a city cop. All right. And this was, this was all before you. And he retired when I was like 11. He retired when I was young. Okay. And then he was just a guy who sat on the couch, never changed outfits. Pension. Really?

Yeah. Just literally had the same outfit until a day died. I think he was alive for like 12 years before, you know, he passed out. When did he pass away? He was retired. It was seven years ago last week. Okay. So a while ago. Yeah. Yeah. All right.

I was 23. And why did you guys move from to the, to the small town, just economics? Yeah, he was just, he became captain and I guess he had enough money to get the fuck out of Patterson. And he wanted us to get a better education and then we fucked it up. Yeah. Because we're still his kids. Yeah. Of course.

Have we did the same thing? Why? Was he a loose cannon? Well, yeah. I mean, it's, it's like, they grew up with no money. They were like city kids. They had it hard. And then he hit it while, you know, we were all kind of grade school, middle school, high school. And then the way they acted wasn't completely, you know, noble or like wealthy or anything. They kind of acted shitty. And so we kind of acted.

Describe shitty. And who's we? How many brothers? My father was just an animal person, just a piece of shit guy. But like funny, you know, when you go like, oh, my dad was hilarious. And you look back at it, you're like, nah, he just like made people cry. And I thought it was funny. He made my aunt Eileen cry. And that was hilarious.

That was funny. Damn. It's so funny as an eight year old, you know, like, whoa, I can't believe he stuck it to her. Why did he make her cry? And you're like, why are you fighting everybody? Why did he make her cry? I just, you know, he was a drinker. You'd get drunk and then, and then he would fight.

So he made her cry through insults. Yeah. Well, because I didn't like most of my childhood, I didn't know him well because he worked second shift inside being grade school. And then he'd come home at like 1130 at night. So I'd only meet him when I would like wake up at two in the morning and he was throwing shit around or like yelling at my mother. I guess the only time I would see him up until up until he retired. So they had a volatile relationship.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Last few years, it was him on the couch or in the bed. Oh, okay. Yeah. We've had a couple of incidents for sure. For sure. And who's the we in the situation? How many brothers and sisters? Two older sisters.

Two older sisters. How far apart were they from you? Once a year and a half older than me. Uh-huh. And then one is 10 years old. And how did they shake out? Are they upstanding? I mean, yeah, you know, like they're pitfalls here and there.

Sure. Sure. Sure. Yeah, they're regular people. They're awesome now. Okay. Yeah. One of them, you know, thinks Trump won. But hey, you know, the verdict is still out. I'm not going to debate her and then she's right. That would fucking suck, you know.

Trying to get some cranberry sauce over here. I'm not like a fist fight, you know what I mean? Yeah, she's very, you know, she's a little off the deep end. But the other sister is like a wick in. Is that the, what's a wick in? Oh, wow, like a witch. Yeah, like a witch. She got married with like swords.

What? Wait, hold on. All right. Like a sword. Which one is this, the one that's 10 years old? No, it's a year and a half older than her. Is the witch? Like a wick in, yeah.

And the one that's 10 years older is a... Which I didn't know. I was like, oh, she's into this stuff. Sure. Like she shopped at the wedding. There was like some witchy shit, you know? And I'm like, ah, she thinks it's cute. You know how like people who like, don't like Harry Potter, like Harry Potter.

Or like the people that go to Disney and stuff. I was like, oh, she likes witches. Yeah, he's like, oh, that's like a silly thing she likes. I like wrestling, whatever. And then my girlfriend borrowed a bunch of books from her and it was all like, how to be a witch? Your life as a witch. They're all written in blood.

And she was like, yeah, your sister's a witch. I'm like, my sister's not a fucking witch. What are you talking about? It's like, I am a witch, the book. Yeah, yeah. No, seriously, I am a witch. Oh, and that came all together maybe five months ago. The black cat, the frogs everywhere.

Come on, she's a witch. Yeah, the eye of Newt laying around. Yeah, she lives upstate, you know, she gathers rocks. And now is he into Wiccan? He's something like that. Is he a wizard? He's in that, he walks in that world. He's a wizard.

He's not like an accountant or something. Yeah, he's not just some guy like, hey, babe, you enjoying your witchcraft over there? I told you to watch the culture. Fuckin' I dream a genie over here. Got you your frog legs, hun. By the way, that potion was fantastic last night. Wow, so they're in that scene.

Okay, upstate. And then my other sister got three kids. She had them, you know, she was one of those people who was like, oh, one person got a house that I went to high school like when they were 22. Then I got to get a fucking house, you know, and then it was like, oh, someone I know had a kid. I'm going to have three kids.

Yeah, the Billy Joel. Very suburban. Yeah, it's like Mary. Now she's sitting there like, what the fuck? Done. Yeah. I have a lot of friends like that. Yeah, that's rough, man.

Yeah. All right, so volatile situation growing up a little bit. But again, like, you know, you look back at it. I don't want to shit on that guy. I think my childhood was very difficult because of him. I wish they weren't together type of situation, you know what I mean? But, you know, at the end of the day, you got over it. You go, man, I'm a bitch often and I have my flaws.

Sure. You know, whatever. Dude, I remember I was fighting with my wife the other night and I was over dinner and I was ready. I was so mad. I was ready to throw the plate at the wall. Like, I was just so angry and I'm like. I'm with you.

And it was this moment in my head of if I fucking launch this plate, I am 100 percent my father. There's no coming back from it. Like, I have made a choice to go down this road. I am my dad and that's it. And I fucking chose not to. And then afterwards, she's like, you seemed really angry. I'm like, you have no idea, lady.

I think it's tough for us because, you know, we don't have kids. So like, I often feel like my dad, no situations. Like, I can't put a piece of furniture together without getting mad. I can't do anything without getting mad. Because I was raising a fucking insane household. I remember a specific stereo system of like cabinet my dad put together with a lineup of fucking cores.

Like, you know what I'm talking about? Yeah. It was, you know what I mean? But I look back on that. It's like exactly what you're saying. I wouldn't I wouldn't want to change any of that because it because it really does make you who you are. Oh, growing up with that.

Yeah, no. I mean, but also at the same time, I go like, damn, I wish my mother had it bad. You know, like, we get to go, oh, my story was interesting because I lived in a motel for like a month. And it's like, oh, my mother is a grown woman lived in a motel for a month. No, I'm not talking like that.

That was her life. No, no, I mean, you know, I like where I do. There are aspects of it where I go like, fuck yeah, dude. I'm so glad I'm not like a worm or a bitch. And that's because, you know, you're dealing with the psycho. You don't get to be wormy, you know. What's the motel situation? When did that happen?

Just things got bad enough where he flipped out and broke everything. And then the next morning, it was like, hey, we're leaving. We're gone. Yeah. How old are you for that? I was in seventh grade. Wow.

That's a lot. Packin' up the car. Yeah, but then my sisters, you know, they thought it was like Sweet Life of Zach and Cody or something. Oh, yeah. Yeah. They're ordering room services. No, they like invited their friends over.

They're like, this is the new spot for them. Pretty cool, huh? Yeah, check this out. Hey, it's a motel. So it's like, could you grab something from the vending machine? Leah, try the ice machine. Go ahead.

Yeah, the bed vibrates. And then the whole idea was, oh, he'll stop drinking, right? That's like what you think. Sure, OK. We'll disappear and he'll have to make a choice. And so now he was just like, dude, fucking sweet. The house is open. My calendar's open.

Yeah, so then we went back. And it was like, oh, hey, whatever. I remember having a conversation at the dinner table. And then he was like, you all got to check this out. And he brought us downstairs. And he built a bar. He just built a bar while we were gone. He's like, look at this fucking thing.

And it's not, I mean, it's nice. But just to know that's what he was doing. I like his thought process. It's not that what he was doing was wrong. He was like, wait till you, wait till like, as he was hammering, and he's like, this is going to blow their fucking cycle. Yeah, this will make up for it. And a little bit of legitimacy to the drinking,

you know what I mean? That's fucking great. No, nothing that far. Good childhood. Good childhood. Like dude, friends got to play in the fucking woods. It really is. Like the more you talk to people, it's like.

That's normal. It's normal. Yeah, it's normal. I hope it gets less and less normal. But it's so normal for people. I mean, like humans are flawed. Like that's going to happen. They're going to drink.

They're going to get it. It's like, I don't know. I mean, we've had what? This is like our episode 70 something. And it's like everybody. That's like a normal child, given we are talking to fucking lunatic comedians most of the time. But you know, like you think about quiet kids growing up

and you always go like, oh, quiet kids typically when I grew up, they were also smart and this and that. But it's like, what if they had it worse than all of us? Yeah. And they just shattered. That's why, you know, that's why they paid attention. That's just stuff you didn't think about when you were a kid. Oh, no.

It wasn't so much older. Like people that were like bullies or whatever, you piece it together. You're like, oh, his dad was probably beating the shit out of us. Fucking beating the shit out of us. Yeah. It all makes sense.

What a nice, that was like a, that became like a PSA. That was. We all kind of took it in. It's okay. You know, it really is. It's okay. So suburban neighborhood, single family home. Yeah.

Yeah. By level. What's by level? Split level, probably what you have. Split level is half underground. Two. No, no, no. No underground.

It's just bottom floor, top floor. I don't know how to do it. Okay. Yeah. Wait, did somebody live on the top floor? Well, it's us. It's us. But it's a by level.

Okay. You walk in and there's a step going up and a step going down. Yeah. That's split level to you. That's what we would call it a split level. Did only one family live in the house? Yes.

Okay. Yeah. That's where you walk into your house. One goes down. I mean, I guess you could technically. That's a California split level is what you're talking about. Oh, okay. Yeah.

All right. He's a whole little by level. I'm not changing it for you. I've been saying my whole life by level. He's like, well, we call it a split level. Okay. Well, I don't care what you call it. If you want to up that property value.

Yeah. If you want to. By level, you know, I got like a in-ground pool by the time I was in middle school. In-ground pool. Hey, he's over here bitching him out. And come on. Oh, dude, no.

It was so hot. You got it. Oh, I enjoyed my child. That's great. He was a above ground pool guy. I was an in-ground pool guy. Oh, we had an above ground pool for a minute, you know. Really?

But then we made that glorious transition. Wow. And then captain money came in. Swapped it out. Lovely. How was the in-ground? Yeah. Do you have a pool or a slide or anything or a hot tub?

Anything kid or just the basic? No, no, just basic. And then, you know, the laws at that time were like, you know, you can't even have a diving board that is springy. Yeah. It was just like the white one that was on like a piece of block. Yeah, yeah. It got real tight like the late 90s, early 2000s.

Everyone was drowning. Yeah. I remember going to like the YMCA pool, like up in Phoenixville, where they had like an outside pool. And dude, the high dives, it was like fucking, it was like Mount Kilimanjaro. And then all of a sudden just one day it was all gone. Water parks as a kid, I saw a man die in front of me

at a water park as a kid. What water park? I saw a guy, whatever one was in Wildwood Press. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's where I grew up going to. Oh, shit. Yeah, so yeah. At my family's house.

That's the only place we'd ever go. Wildwood Press. Raging water. Oh, Morrie's Pier. Okay, yes. Morrie's Pier, yeah. Morrie's and Mariners Pier. You saw a dude die there?

Yeah, I was standing next to him. Just like four guys go a year at that fucking place. I was waiting for my sister to come down a thing and I was standing on a big cement block, like the height of this table. And a guy was waiting for his daughter with me and he just passed out like he stroke or something. And when he fell back, boom.

Yeah, it's like, you know, practice head open, die. He was right next to you? Yeah, he was like convulsing. And then the people came over to help him and then his daughter and his wife came over and were like screaming to the skies. Oh my God, dude. It's fucked, man.

That place, Wildwood, if you're not familiar, it's like fucking people are, it's pure trash. It really is. It's pure. It is the trashiest of all and I found it because it's the free beach. That and Atlantic City are the only two places with free beaches still.

So it really brings out the fucking drags of society, i.e. my family. And growing up, the story there, as they put it in the Northeaster, I don't know if you remember, the Northeaster was the one who was like, you sit in with your feet dangled, like the roller coaster.

And that was like the first one on the East Coast or whatever, it was this huge fucking deal. And some guy's hat flew off while he was on it. So he like jumped a fence to go try to get the hat. And some dude fucking came down over the loop and kicked his head right off. Yeah. Fucking yeah.

It's awful. So many people died and why I would like, especially in the 90s, it was wide open. There was always the story of the girl on Freefold, a great adventure who had a long ponytail. That was the one that just dropped you down and it just ripped her entire scalp off. How old were you when you saw the guy,

when you saw the guy die next to you? About like nine or 10. Do you think about that for the rest of the vacation and the rest of the summer? I remember. Nah, it's just now brought up. Must have been a weird ride home. I remember later that night being on the boardwalk

and just telling my mom like, oh, he's probably alive, the ambulance got there quickly. And she was like, no. Oh, wait, what the fuck? Yeah, she's like, no, there's no protection. What the fuck? No protection. Play along, ma, will you?

Jesus. What are you, kidding me? Concrete 300 degrees? What are you, nuts? He's got a clavicle fracture. She was always very honest with me. Yeah. I notice that like right now, as I tell you,

it's because I don't think she had a lot of friends. And when your mother doesn't have a lot of friends, she just kind of like. Treat you like a friend. Gossip with you and goes like, she would always go like, oh my god, look at her boobs. Like she would say that a lot to me. And then point at a lady.

Sounds all right if you ask me. Like you were bingo buddies or something like that. Yeah, I don't know. Ah, that's fucking funny. My mom always did the opposite. She tried to like shelter you from things. Like my best friend died when I was in kindergarten. They didn't tell me to look a year later.

What they say he did. I used to go to this kid's house every day and play with him. He was my he was my best buddy. You know, one day I showed up and the mom was like, nah, he can't come out and play. I didn't know what's going on. Got on my big wheel, rode home.

But apparently I did that for like every day for like six months. And he was sick. And finally the mom was like, yeah, you got to tell this. He's dead. No boy died. He could have stopped traumatizing me every. Yeah, basically his mom called my mom was like,

yeah, tell the fat kid to take it easy. And then we moved like just coincidentally like a few months later and then like a year later. I was like, hey, mom, when are we going to go up and see Robbie again? She like turned the radio down lit up a cigarette. I was like, ah, it was a Lionel Richie song too. So I knew she was something serious.

She wasn't turning down KRZ on a fucking hot track. Man told me. She had right out in front of you. We had like the the illegal box. So it was just porn constant for cable. Yeah. You had the elite. You had the hot box.

Wait, who was watching that? All cops have that stuff. Yeah. Yeah, they're on their own. They're on the note. They all do the thing. I'm not saying they do like the most illegal thing. Well, like the cops aren't really in charge of bootleg.

I mean, everybody's got bootlegs now. But every cop in like the 90s and before had bootleg shit. Fireworks. Like we always had fireworks around this confiscate them. And then you take it fucking great. And then we had a satellite. I remember putting up like an illegal satellite and it had Canadian channels.

French, we got French Canadian porn. What the fuck? That would blow my mind now. It'd be cool if I started talking French right now. Yeah, like if I had all learned from it. But no, let's just like, ah. Wait, who? No.

Or did your parents know that you were watching porn? Were they like open with it or no? No, there wasn't. You know, not like open. But like that's not during dinner. That's like hippie territory. Yeah. Well, we both come like from very repressed Irish Catholic.

Yeah. I mean, my mother was certainly. I never had a sex talk. No, we never had a sex talk. But I think it was neat to enter right in front of them. Yeah. It was understood kind of. That was it for them.

Oh, OK. Yeah. Porn wasn't like hidden. You know, it was just a thing. Porn and gun. You would just find it. Jesus. Porn and guns everywhere.

Yeah. How old when you were playing with guns? No, I would never play with them. I never had any interest because they were laying everywhere. You know. Jesus. There was just guns laying around the house? Not like laying around.

But yeah, under most couches and shit. Yeah. Under. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he was ready to go. Always, always, always, always underneath him. And then he carried everywhere. If when he did leave the house, he would carry.

Sweet. Revolver? I don't know. You remember? I don't know the things. I don't know the things. I know. I mean, he can't get in trouble now.

But I know what he would do when he was retired is his friends would come over and he would switch over like semi-automatic to fully automatic. You just making illegal guns and shit. Ready to rock and roll, huh? Dude, just partying. I love it. That's fucking awesome.

I got bodies that are in the guns. Like you over there. House is just like a fucking AK or something. Like, I don't even know. You just pass it to me. Is this legal, dude? They're like, yeah, man. It's cool.

I'm like, all right. Did you say so? Well, let's put it away because we're wasted right now. Holy shit. All right. So gave us a little bit of the paint a picture. Let's play a little order of your garbage. Let's do it.

I'm leaning garbage. No. You don't think so? No. I think I'm a good boy. And I think that will defy the garbage. I think you'll go, oh, my goodness. OK.

Like it's a wonderful life or something. What makes you say that? Is that what it's a wonderful life? I don't know. Is it the Montreal Snuff Films that were readily available? Well, I don't know what the questions are going to be. Are the automatic weapons laying around the house? I don't know.

But that's me seeing the things. But then what did I say? I want you to dive deep into this because I said, I never touch the guns. Sure. Sure. Sure. True.

I did touch the porn. But we're going to omit that for the jury, though. Yeah, there's a hard ball here. I'm going to erase that from the file. There's also a thing of like, yeah, your parents played it a little fast and loose. It was the 90s. It's Jersey.

You know, that shit happens. 90s are great. Not yet. But it's like. It's biting us in the ass. Like a little bit. It's a good time. For comics, for sure, it's biting us in the ass.

But God, it was cool. Oh, it was fucking awesome. It was a good time. It's so funny. There's like the big PC movement or whatever. And I'm like, you should literally hear any family party that I have. It's fucking insane.

It's insane. It's crazy. Yeah. Holy shit. I love it. All right. So let's go back. OK.

You can pick whichever house, because you said there was two of them. Let's do the new one, the in-ground pool house. The in-ground pool house. The bi-level in-ground pool house. Yes. Most of my life. So we're going to ask you a series of questions

to determine whether you're garbage. We're going to go back to the beginning here. We're going to start fresh. What was the name of the street that that house was on? Colfax Drive. Colfax Drive. That's not too bad. I like it.

My drives are OK. It's not like a pike or a fucking Boulevard. True. Not a pike. Right. You're up on a pike. Yikes. Colta Sack involved in this place?

Yeah. Were you in the Colta Sack? Exactly, you were on the road. No, in the Colta Sack. All right. That's clean living, baby. Got a gentleman in the fucking in the room. All right.

OK. What was the basketball net situation? Was there one in the Colta Sack for every house, or did you have one in your driveway, or none at all? Kid across the street had one. I had one when Space Jam came out. You fill it with sand or whatever. That's the trashiest.

And then it broke and just stayed there till forever. There's a broken one in my parents. Sand is definitely still there. Yeah. That's all about the basketball net. That's awesome. Yeah, we have a pole just in our drive. A black pole that has about, I'd say,

conservatively 45 pounds of concrete holding it into the ground. Yeah, the thing ain't going nowhere. No, my dad went real hard that summer. We dug a, it was like fucking cool hand Luke. We dug a hole and then filled it up with fucking quick greet. That thing ain't going anywhere. Nice. Dude, growing up in this Colta Sack,

did you ever, was there any beefs with any other neighbors for like, you know, years or times where you're like, oh, that's the fucking Robinsons. Fuck them. They, you know, blew their leaves on my yard or anything. My father had issues with people. Okay, I like your dad, by the way. But it was like, they weren't necessarily aware of it.

It was a lot of internalized problems. Yeah, you know, it's a lot of we know about it and we heard about it. And it was a lot more our problem than it was their problem. Sure, sure, sure. But yeah, yeah, there was a handful of, you know, people who, who might be a pedophile. Yeah, like a lot of open cases on these people.

A lot of that. Damn. Everybody knew he was a cop, right? Yeah, yeah. So nobody probably fucked with him. People like having cops like that in there. Cops on the block. Yeah, they love it.

I remember my dad told a 16-year-old kid he was going to clean his clock. I was like, yes. He was walking across the front yard. I'm like, this ain't good. My mom's like, go inside. I'm like, get the fuck out of here. I'm watching this go down.

Front row seat. Yeah, I know when my, when my oldest sister was in high school, my dad was much like younger. So he was ready to go. Sure, yeah, yeah. And so she had a lot of issues like that, where she'd be at a party. All of a sudden, my dad would show up

and try to be fighting kids. Holy fuck. God, dude. He is a loose panel. I know, I know. He showed up with my uncle once to a party she was at. And they swung open the door. And my dad was like, are you, Joe, whatever?

And the kid was like, yeah. And then my uncle punched the kid. Why? Why? My man told you. Because my uncle knew my dad was going to punch him. And his dad would have gotten in trouble. So he was like, let me punch this fucking kid.

What did the kid do, though, other than a half time? Just had a party. And they were putting masks on and scaring people on the street. And so the cops got called. And then they showed up. There was liquor at the party. And then my sister got brought to the police station.

And then my dad got her at the station. And then it was like, where the fuck does the kid live? My sister was like, I don't want to tell you. And then he's like, this is like a movie. Yeah, that's fucking awesome. I didn't get any of that, though. I didn't get any of that. He was older at that point.

Yeah, yeah, older. And just sitting there, just sitting there. Did you ever get arrested at a party like that, though? No, no, no, no. Your sister was a bit of a hellraiser, huh? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, the fact that your uncle punched that dude is fucking awesome.

That's movies. Dude, he's still around. He's a good man. That's like badass movie scene. Like, you just don't see it coming to fucking right hook shit. I love it. Yeah, he's awesome. Fucking punching kids.

Oh, yeah, dude. Yeah, man. He's fucking teenage. Was it like he's at this party? That Pulse nightclub shooting happened. He called me. And he was like, hey, Scott. I go, hey, he goes, oh, thank god.

I didn't know if you were at that nightclub in Florida. I was like, I'm in Jersey. He just thinks it's hilarious that he could like say I'm gay. Just a really bullsy guy. He's a good time. I want to make sure you aren't at that nightclub. I was just shooting in an antique store. I want to make sure you're all right.

Yeah, I was so concerned you were at that gay club in Florida. He's like very Norm MacDonald. Oh, that's very funny. Good guy. Holy shit. All right. Very cool. Very cool.

OK, OK. Interesting. I'm sorry. Did you have a weird mailbox growing up? Or was it a regular? Did you ever see like those? Did you have like a mailbox that was like a dog or a bunny or anything?

No, we had like on and off mailbox. Like it always changed positions wherever it landed. Kind of like, oh, it's here now. Yeah, mind-blowing. And so you just kind of push it in the corner. That's not good. That is no good. I guess I think it's like we got a bi-level.

Things are very nice. But you it's not being maintained for sure. Sure, of course. And oh, let's do an addition. But then we never finish it. So there's just. You had an unfinished addition. It's still unfinished.

My mother still lives there. Was it a hole? She started it when I was like fucking nine. Is there a hole in the wall? What do you mean? It's just like the inside of it is unfinished. It's just not a thing you could, you know, it's not existent. It was like my dad's friend was doing it.

And then my dad's friend started doing heroin. It's like lethal weapon too. My dad's friend went on like a heroin binge. My dad was like, you don't ever come back here again or something, you know. So like, is it enclosed? Is there a roof on it? Or is it just a frame?

Oh, there's a roof on it. Yeah, there's a roof on it. Is there walls? Walls in the last like two years, we got walls. There's not still like plastic tarp hanging down and like tools and shit. I think there is. I think there's some tools.

Yeah, there's definitely some tools, yeah. Dude, that's the fucking. That's trash, baby. Yeah, but then you finish it and then my aunt wants to move in. That's even trash. That was like, once my dad died, it was like, you know, my aunt like, hey. What are we going to do?

What are we going to do with up there and then this place? And it's just you, you know, you don't want to dog. Who's the aunt? Is it your mom's sister? My mom's sister, yeah. So she wants to move in. Are they tight? The mom.

Yeah, they're real tight. They're real tight. Yeah. Holy shit. Did you used to drive the squad car home and park it in the house? No, no, no. Because I guess that's only when you have. Yeah.

And when like specifically you are an officer who has a car, you know, not every car. Like so when you're the captain, you don't have a. Yeah, what are they called? The auto or the car? Somebody probably drove him around. Yeah, I don't know how it worked. Probably.

Yeah, captain. Probably had a driver. Yeah, right. I don't know. I really don't know. I never listened to this guy. Dude, a wobbly mailbox and an unfinished addition. Yeah.

We are off. Literally fucking captain chaplains, please. Who used to cut the grass? Landscape or you did it? Um, us for a minute. Like my mom, my mom for a minute. Like when I was a kid, I remember my mom doing all the chores. Your mom, dude, anytime you see a woman cut in the ground,

my step on a riding mower too. Yeah. Riding or push push. Like she's not like a tough, you know, she doesn't look like a brawly fucking lady. But always did the things around the house. She always had like a hand. Like if I went to her house tomorrow,

she'd have a hammer in her hand. No doubt. Just doing stuff. Yeah, just doing some shit. Yeah. Get her in the addition. Hang some drywall. You know what I mean?

Yeah, what the hell? Is she retired now? Yeah, yeah, yeah. She hasn't worked since I've been born. Oh, wow. Really? Okay. Good fucking captain's got good bennies, dude.

Oh, yeah. Good payout, good bennies. Yeah, yeah, she's doing all right. And they stayed together the entire time. Yeah, yeah, they stayed together. Yeah, you know. I mean, in the end, there was love and all that stuff. But yeah, it was most of my life, it was both.

He was sleeping on the couch. Yeah. Okay. All right. Very good. Hmm. Interesting. What was the name of the grocery store

that your mom would go to growing up? Foodtown. And ShopRite. ShopRite's okay. ShopRite's great. They got good donuts. ShopRite's all right. Foodtown in the other hand.

Fancy donuts, dude. Dare I say, ShopRite's got some fancy fucking donuts. If you think ShopRite has fancy, and you emphasize the fancy. They got good ones. Rich, I call them. Rich. All right.

I love it. Yeah, foodtown. Dude, you are Jersey trash. And I love every minute of it. How close is he to, I was actually surprised when you said Wildwood Crest. How close are you to the South Jersey Shore? Probably two and a half hours, two and a half hours.

Two and a half hours, yeah. Isn't there, isn't like long branch or whatever? You pass every other one. Wildwood is the second to last one. Yeah, it's the second to last one, but there's nothing really going on. It's all like, my family hated the beach. We hated the beach growing up.

It was just like, they always pitch it to us as a boring thing, and it was like, we want to go on a ride. The boardwalk. So Wildwood's boardwalk is the boardwalk. And get a cheese steak, and then get an ice cream cone, and ride a thing. It was never like. Be garbage.

Like, we never rented a shore house and went to the beach in the morning. That was never a thing we did. You went down and did the rides. Yeah, yeah, we went to the Nomad Motel, which is like, it's now a. Yeah, I know the Nomad Motel. What do you call those things?

What? Fancy apartments. Condos. Condos. I remember the Nomad Motel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good placement.

You get waffles downstairs. I'm telling you. Wildwood is a fucking kid in the 90s. The trash is coming out of you like you're taking off a coat. I fucking love the new waffles downstairs. You know. This house growing up, did it have a garage? Did you have a refrigerator in the garage?

No, my dad got like a mini fridge in the bar room. Okay. Mini fridge in the bar room. Fill with what? Beers and stuff like that. Party stuff. Yeah, okay. What about sodas for the kids now?

No, that was upstairs. Okay. Yeah, we always had soda. Big soda fam. Not anymore, but because as a kid, soda. Yeah, that's all we got. I remember we would carpool and I remember walking out one morning to my ride as like, I was probably six.

With like a little cup with like Doritos stacked in it and then some soda. And I remember them like judging me hard, you know. Oh yeah. Soda big time. Dude, nothing was better than soda and Doritos. Dude, my mom put soda in like a Gatorade bottle for basketball practice once.

She gave me Pepsi. I swear to shit, dude. Holy shit. Yeah. And then I remember I complained about it. So she gave me iced tea the next time. The powdered one. Dude, I swear.

I'm powdered iced tea. Yeah, the powdered iced tea, which is delicious. Yeah, oh yeah. Yeah, but again, I'd go to basketball practice in like jeans, just jeans. Dude, that's a fucking trash. Fucking the chaplain kid showing up fucking drinking Gatorades.

But then I put all the things. You'd pull a Fonzie, you know. Yeah. Like Fonzie didn't do shit and it works out. You're cool. You don't know it's because he can't do anything. You know. You're standing in the corner in jeans.

Fucking retard. Yeah. Smoking a sick Doritos. Eat Doritos out of a solo cup. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nah, I'm good coach. How about you take a laugh? Yeah, exactly.

Why don't you put Timmy in again? Yeah, I was just incapable. So I acted like it was gay if you weren't capable, you know. Oh my God, that's too good. What about dinners? Would you guys, would you guys sit at the dining room table and have dinner? Would you sit in front of the TV?

Where would that go down? It's like a big back and forth. Mostly my childhood was in front of the TV. And then I remember in high school sitting at the table. Okay. It would be like London broil and buttered noodles, dude. Yeah, buttered noodles. Buttered noodles.

London noodles, man. Tell you something about London broil, man. London broil. We thought back. Because I thought it was the thing. And then you have every other type of steak after? The fuck is going on? Dude, I feel bad.

Like I don't ever want to cook for my mom because it's so much better. That like I don't want to be like, yeah, dude. I don't know. You couldn't. Yeah. That's rayos sauce right there. That's rayos.

It's called salt. Ma, you ever hear of it? Oh, no, a lot of salt. A lot of salt on everything. But that was it. It was just salt on things. Salt and butter. When I was a kid, we thought London broil

and twice baked potatoes. You know what they are? Those frozen johns that would they like. Are you doing them frozen? We get them frozen. Oh, we make them. Oh, no, we got them frozen. Frozen.

That makes them. It's a half of a baked potato. But then they take the potato out of it and they mix it with like cream cheese or whatever. It's like mashed potatoes. Oh, that's kind of. It's like mashed potatoes in a potato baked. It's fucking fantastic.

But we thought that in fucking London broil. Like paprika on top of something. Yeah, little paprika on top. Making everything look real fucking classy. Very nice. But London broil, man. We thought we were big, big in the house. Living like kings.

London broil and ketchup. I remember like later on, the later years I was living with my mom, she figured out chicken parm. And that was big. That was big. When they get something and it catches on. Oh, man. She still makes chicken every party, this chicken parm.

Invite me. I fucking love chicken parm. It's pretty good. It's pretty good. Damn. Oh, that's fucking good shit, man. This is good. All right.

Did you buy or have you ever worn your class ring? No, fucking no. I remember they gave me them bro short of buy them for like. Get the fuck out of here. $1,300 bucks. I'm like, dude, all the time I'm going to start wearing jewelry. Like I'm in the mob. There's more to find.

Straight C's and an 870 on my SATs. No way. Patty Foley is laying down for that. I'm trying to forget this shit ever happened, bro. I'm lucky I got the cap and gown. Holy shit. I did get a letterman jacket though. She she sprung for that for the football jacket.

Oh, that's nice. Yeah, that was all right. You need that though. If you're on, you were on the team. Yeah, I was on the team. Got a jersey hanging up right here. She's just we're like friends with them. Yeah, I just big fan.

It was weird because he got it when he was 22. So I just love the game. But yeah, I remember dude trying to pull off those fucking class. You got to go to the naval like the naval academy to work. Even college. Some guy like our parents generation. Like I remember my uncle would work at like an awesome Villanova like class ring, you know, but he was a fucking he was.

He went to he played football there in the 70s. It's a little bit. You saw dudes of your own age in the 90s or early 2000s walking around with a fucking Cabrini college. That's like yo, take a fucking hike. I found my dad's as a kid in like a box at my mom's like fucking Roman Catholic 1970s or whatever. And I took it.

I'm like because I'm like I was a different time. And I was like part of it. I know 17 was like 42. Yeah. And so it's like yes, a ring for my adult body. But I was like doesn't make any sense. I found it and I went to him like he had. I mean, he was already out of the house for a decade at that point

or whatever. I'm like, oh, yo, here. I found this. She's like, you're going to wear it? You know, I was like a kid or whatever. He's like, nah, we don't do that. I'm like, all right, man. All right.

I guess we don't wear it. We are a non-jewelry household for men. Straight up. Your ears pierced. Yeah. Oh, that's fucking good stuff, man. Yeah. OK, so your basic defense here is that sure, you know,

it was a little murky when I was a kid. But now you're saying you're all class. Is that correct? Yeah. I didn't know this was part of it. You had blue hair a month ago. I didn't know. And we also know you're big in what we is now referred to

as the world wrestling entertainment. Oh, yeah. Well, no, no, I don't like world wrestling entertainment. You're still WWF. Or no. No, I don't like WWF. That's too commercial. No, yeah.

EPW. I like New Japan Pro Wrestling. New Japan Pro Wrestling. Yeah, NJPW. That's like wrestling hipster shit. Yeah, yeah. Something. Yeah, it's my favorite wrestling.

You've never even heard of it. You've got to wake up at 6 in the morning to watch it. Was that so you don't go for the commercialization of? It's not commercialization. It's just like, you know, I like watching dudes wrestle. You know? And you don't really get that with the. Was New Japan ever big Japan?

No, like old Japan? No, they're two separate companies. OK. Are you like a Ring of Honor guy? I liked Ring of Honor for a while. I haven't watched it in a minute. But yeah, yeah, yeah. I used to go to Ring of Honor shows.

Yeah. Are you familiar with Cole Cabana? Yeah, I know Cole Cabana. Well, I know of Cole Cabana. Yeah. Yeah. Chicago. Love connection.

Chicago. Chicago guy. Cole Cabana. Chicago guy. Naming a wrestler who's like does comedy sometimes. You ever hear of the Bears? Chicago. See?

Just saying. Yeah. So that's that's that's going to work again. See a little bit. Yeah. I got one. Have you ever have you ever worn a horn? But I like it because it's like ballet.

I used to go to my girlfriend's dance recitals and I thought it was like beautiful art. Sure. Of course. And that's why I like wrestling. Because I like the dancingness of it. And the fact that you're. So again, when you're considering this idea of trash,

think like, oh no, he's watching it like it's Shakespeare. Yeah. And you're watching a niche version of it. Oh yeah. And I'll critique it if it sucks, boys. Look, I'm I'm a. I was here when wrestling was embarrassing. Yeah.

You're not watching Tom and Jerry. No. Oh no. I'm a snobby thing. Yeah. You're watching anime. It's the opposite of garbage. Yeah.

Thank you. You're watching anime. See what I mean. I rest my case. You can't be like, I'm a Twinkie guy, but I'm like really a Twinkie guy. So the way I do it is different. But only the seasonal ones.

Yeah. No. The people listening, they know. OK. All right. All right. Have you ever worn a hard rock F.A. t-shirt? I think I bought like a band t-shirt from hard rock F.A.

Yeah. I thought there was like a cool stones shirt or something. Oh, that's on the fence. If it was a pure hard rock, it's trash. It's still. Yeah, but I was a young man. You know, you live in Jersey. You come over to Times Square.

You're 15. That's fancy at that point. I'm like, who am I? That's not fancy for everybody. I walked to school with a hard rock F.A. t-shirt that I bought, that I took the bus into Manhattan. With the sleeves rolled up, you're doing all right. Oh, I went there by myself yesterday.

I tell everybody. That's classy. Oh, New York City. I was there by myself. Yeah, I hopped the bus. Dude, I listened to the eight mile soundtrack the whole time. I had to shake a guy down, picked up a shirt, and came back. OK.

Two-part question, if I may. Yes. Have you ever snapped your fingers instead of clapping? Yes. Yeah, I've done that. Yes. That's trash. Can you whistle with your fingers?

Oh, no, but I can whistle. Hit it. Away from the mic a little bit. Oh, God. I feel judged. I fuck off, dude. You're making me feel like a loser. We're losers.

First time I'm whistling. Dude. We're dorks, dude. OK. Because you'd think I'm going for like a street garbage whistle. No, no, no, no, no. Ready? There's an eloquence to it.

That's pretty good. Almost like a bird. I got there. At first, it kind of sounded like shit. But you go, who is this? Gene Kelly? I'm saying. Yeah, you go, is this fucking Fred Astaire?

I don't mean it. I'm not whistling at a fucking umpire. I don't hate it. I'm whistling, you know. As I tap dance down the steps as I leave here. I'm a gentleman. How's the door on your way to the motel? Whistle down the steps.

Fucking razzmatazz, baby. All right. OK. Playing instrument? No, I have a guitar though. You just did. What are you talking about? I have a guitar.

You have a guitar. Electric or acoustic? It's acoustic. You never studied whistling like professionally. Did you? I don't think anybody's ever studied whistling. It's from the heart. That's trash.

See, eloquent people know that it's from the heart. You ever studied whistling? You can't teach that. Oh, yeah, that's a thing. What he has is born. Dude, garbage people think that anything could be a thing. Sure, yeah. Did you study that?

No, actually. You don't have to study everything. That's how stupid he is. That's how dumb he is. And I'm a genius. And I'm a whistling genius. I've never seen somebody so mad about their beautiful, beautiful whistling.

I'm a fucking great whistler. Because I'm pretty good at it. It's like just such a light, it was beautiful. That whole thing here. You're so adamantly defended it. It's great. Anyone in your family ever collect Marlboro miles? What does that mean?

I don't know what that means. OK, then no. It's like the points when you smoke Marlboro's, you collect the Marlboro miles. No, my father smoked until like a high, but he quit. He drank a lot when he quit. No, there was no game. He didn't play games.

He didn't play games. I don't play no games. No board games. There was no board games at the house. He didn't play games. No lottery. Did he play the lottery? No.

I wonder why he can whistle so well. Ancestors and uncles would give them as gifts, but they were like outsiders. But in the house, no. That's another trash thing. Lottery, scratch off lottery tickets for gifts. Yes, that's big. That was big.

No board games. What else weren't you allowed to do? Could you watch for them? No, we weren't allowed to. We were like board games are fucking weird. They just weren't promoted. Yes, just we weren't doing that. OK.

Yeah, I had a lot of slingshots and stuff. Ooh. Did you? Rich Rockets. Yeah, it's fun things. Yeah. Nice. Would you kill things with them?

But now you go like, no, I'll never kill a thing. But we'll get to that. I don't know if you ever ask a question about a thing specifically. But anyway, but even like, you know, I had slingshots and stuff, but it was because I wanted to be like Huck Finn and stuff. Yeah, like Dennis DeMenis.

Yeah, like I wanted to be like the things I read. Sure. I'm defending myself when it comes to it. No, I get it. All right, so what's the thing that you didn't know I was going to ask that we'll get to? Oh, I worked at a slaughterhouse for like five years. Oh, that's right.

I had mentioned I forgot about that. I thought that's what you guys were going to kill me. No, what the fuck? I forgot. I could never make that funny. No. And they're going to bring it up. What did you guys kill?

What did you kill? I never killed anything. I was like a janitor. I only broke kneecaps. I would like, yeah, I would clean up shit. I give them the warning. I would clean up the shit. I would feed them.

And then I think it's not a promotion, but at some point I started, I would carry like their dead bodies from the kill floor into another room and hang them on a hook. Dude, you are. Let's start. But at this point, they didn't look like animals. Let's start.

Let's start. Because they were skinned. Let's go back. How old were you when you started this job? And where was it at? 22. You're living at home at your parents. OK, so 23.

I moved back home after my father passed away. OK. And then, yeah, and it was in my hometown. OK. My oldest sister married the guy who owns it. It's a little bit of gage. OK. Was it there the whole time?

Like growing up? Yeah, it was the fact. Did you know about the place when you were growing up? Like, oh, that's the slaughterhouse. Yeah, I tried to let some animals out when I was a kid and shit. Really? Like, I would just walk around there.

Wow, then they got you working for them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So your sister married one of the rich guys in town who owned the slaughterhouse? No, no, it's not. No, it's like a slaughterhouse, but it's not.

It's a little bigger than. It's a slaughter apartment, I think they're going for. Wait, really? It's a boutique operation? I mean, the property is not even that large, but it's enough. But the actual, like, the kill floor and where we cut things, yeah, it's like this big. Hold on, because I'm getting a picture here.

Who would they sell it to? Was it, like, artisanal muslims? Neatly muslims. It was like halal. Oh, so it was properly cut. We wouldn't do any pig. Right. Yeah, some days it would be specifically halal.

Yeah. And then other days it was like. OK, so it was a small operation. Super small, man. Good meat? Good meat? I don't know. I wouldn't eat it.

I don't eat the shit that they killed. You're eating London Brewery. You're not going to try some? Oh, no, because, OK, so that. They weren't killing no chicken born there. They'd kill, like, once a month. Once a month. Once a month, they'd have, like, a cow that they'd kill.

OK. And then that would smell good. Like, when they were cutting it, I go, ooh, that smells like something I'd want to eat. Wow. But the goat and the sheep, it's gross. So they'd come in alive and stuff like that? Yeah, yeah, the animals come in alive.

Yeah. Man. Yeah, it's terrible. You've seen some shit, haven't you? Yeah. Yeah. What are slides on the slaughterhouses? It's the most New Jersey fucking story ever.

Huh. Yeah, slaughterhouses. But now I don't work there no more, see? On the up and up. When was the last time you smoked a black and mild? Never. I don't smoke cigarettes. I don't think I've ever tried a cigarette.

Wow. Good for you. OK. I have a question for you. Now. What's now? OK, like, now. Not when you were a kid, but now.

You're dying of thirst. OK, you can have anything that you want, but it can't be water. What is it going to be? Strawberry, Arizona. Oh my gosh. No, raspberry. Raspberry, what?

It doesn't matter. Trash. If it's by Arizona, it ain't good. Raspberry, Arizona. Yeah, something like that. The raspberry lemonade tea. No, I don't like the lemonade teas. Lemonade is too sweet for me.

Like, who is this for? Fuck yeah. Like, what's silly? What am I? You're looking at him right here. You're like silly people. You drink something that sweet and you go, what are you, fucking silly?

It's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot. Right here, I love it. It's a lot. Yeah, it's whimsical. Raspberry tea, lemonade. Good at night.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, lemonade. So yours would be a raspberry, Arizona ice tea. Yeah, raspberry, Arizona, man. Now, you came in here and said you didn't think you were garbage. What do you think that falls? Well, because I'm didn't say, you know, I'm not,

I'm not like, you know. You're not classy. I like I get nothing. No, but I'll be sweet to you. You're nice. Yeah. We're nice too, but we're trash. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like you're a great guy. Yeah, you're just trash. I thought it would be fun to wiggle my way out of the body. You know what I said, before I walked in, I said, let me give myself a challenge. I said, I'm not a peasy shit and we're gonna, and I'll figure it out. And it didn't work.

All right, I got some more for you. Growing up, were you like a, were you a styrofoam household? Like styrofoam plates? Styrofoam, dude. Dude, that made me feel like a kid when you said styrofoam. Would you bite the cubs? Because I still see styrofoam, but I don't say styrofoam.

I don't hear the word styrofoam. Dude, I've eaten sleeves of styrofoam cubs. Dude, styrofoam. Dude, the styrofoam cubs sucked. They were like this big. You got like two ounces in it. Yeah, but let me tell you something. You packed out with ice and put some fucking soda in there.

Dude, did you used to? I would, so the way styrofoam cubs would work is like, there's a little design on it. Yeah. Would you like bite out the design? I would bite the rim and shit. Sometimes I would bite. I would take like the top half an inch off

and then another half just to the point and then I would spit like the peaches back in it. I would just sit there. I used to like make like a little thing. Those were trash. God, that's why. Damn. I would bite a whole, I would bite like a,

like a teeth mark in the top and I'd let it like flap open and that's where the, where the soda would come out. That's, that's kind of cool. Oh, we got an engineer on our hands. Did you suck your ice and spit it back into your drink? Well, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, you're trash.

I love it. You are trash. Have you ever ordered anything other than pizza from Domino's or Pizza Hut? Yeah. You ever had a- You ever had a- Like a Pizzone or something?

Yeah, I always try the wings and I always, they go, they're bad, you know? But you try them like once every, you know, nine months or something. That and then I like getting the desserts, like the brownies and the cinnamon sticks at Domino's, dude. Domino's, cinnamon sticks. I used to like the cheesy bread, but-

That's kind of appetizer bread sticking. I'm over it. That's for like a, you know, you're trying to impress somebody. That's when you're like, they get the cinnamon sticks for you. That's like, hey, we gotta sell a bunch of kids here or something. You know, you wanna be cool in front of kids.

Yeah, yeah. I do the Domino's Lava Cakes. It's a waste of nine bucks. Domino's Lava Cakes, man. Oh, yeah, those are great. I could eat like little, I've eaten four of them at a time. Dude, I love a hot cookie with some ice cream.

Oh, yeah, from Domino's. No, just in general. Oh, just in general. Yeah, it's great. Heating up a cookie and throwing ice cream on it. I'll tell you, I remember the first time I ever had a heated fucking brownie with ice cream on it, was at Applebee's.

Oh, yeah, I think so, me too. And fucking blue. And the fudge was hot. I never had hot fudge. I was just fudging. It was always chocolate syrup, yeah. Heated up hercy syrup. I thought we were the richest family in fucking Philadelphia.

Yeah, lava cake. And you go, it kinda looks like it. You say that, your family goes, kind of looks like lava. Kind of looks like lava. Yeah. I remember the specific day that I figured out that Hershey's chocolate syrup was not the same as hot fudge. And then at the end of the fucking ice cream aisle,

I've never been the same. I saw, and I've never looked back. I'll have my vengeance in this life for another. But then I remember at the end of the ice cream aisle, one day I looked up and I saw the smucker's hot fudge that comes, it looks like in a jelly container. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That you take home and heat up.

The same lid, yeah. Yeah, that and the magic show. Remember when Nutella came out? And all the AP kids started eating Nutella. They go, what the fuck is going on? We were a non-Nutella family. That's like fucking commie bullshit in my house. My mom wouldn't know what it is.

No, my mom would be like, was that the thing the Europeans eat? She would have no idea. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you're making chocolate milk, what syrup are you using? Hershey's syrup. All day. I didn't even know there were other options until six months ago.

Some people like Bosco, they're like Bosco. Bosco, Nestle's quick. I got a thing of Bosco at like a minor league baseball game. Yeah. The Bosco truck was there and gave everybody samples. And it was ass. No good. Coming this town again, punk.

Come pay that. Nest Quick was new money shit. If you had Nest Quick, it was like, you just hit the lottery or something. Oh, dude, I love some Nest. The powder of Nest Quick. Because I felt like Yoo-hoo, right? Yoo-hoo's great.

And then you have Nest Quick for the first time. Wow. The powder. Yeah, it's very like. I don't know. It was too light. It was too. I love it.

I needed to. Hershey's had a bit of grit to it. You know, my grandma always kept some strawberry Hershey's. And it was like a new street. Yeah. Nice street. That was fucking. You were classy if you had a bottle.

I stayed away from the kids who drank strawberry milk. My sister loves strawberry milk. I didn't. I didn't know. I don't think I tried it. Until I was, yeah. I don't know if I ever tried it, honestly. I remember one time they must have been selling it in bulk

or got a deal. My mom bought America's Choice, which was super fresh at the time. So it was America's Choice chocolate syrup instead of Hershey's. They must have been like 10 for 10 or something. And she just, I don't know. We ended up for like three years straight. That's all we had.

Dude, it was the dark ages of my fucking household. I hated it. Cheese whiz was big. Cheese whiz with crab grass. How about the spray cheese, you mean? Yeah, spray cheese. Smiley faces all day. Dude, I had spray cheese within 90 days.

It's fucking still as good as it was in my 90s. Oh, I'm sure. It don't taste like any other cheese. And any other cheese doesn't taste like that. It has bacon flavor now, too. Really? That's interesting. Were you a bacon bits family?

No. No, no bacon bits? No. If you guys went out to dinner, like if your dad took you out to dinner. What are bacon bits exactly? It's like fake bacon. Oh, no.

So we weren't like, we were in a breakfast family. No, it would be for like dinner. Like what are like PSATs or whatever those things? It would be like breakfast. You're having breakfast. But you know, once every two years when we took a big test. No, these just sprinkle on salad, bacon bits.

Oh, oh, no. I mean, I've had that very good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where would your dad take you to dinner? This place called Charlie Browns. OK. Yeah. I know Charlie Browns.

There's a few of them. And then there's a Pumped-in-Queen diner by me. That's where you used to go? I'll look at that diner. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not bad. Nothing wrong with it. You don't like it?

I don't like it. I like it. All right. I think I got a couple here from the Patreon members. Guys, when you sign up for Patreon, we will ask your questions. Because we just get so many submissions from everybody on fucking YouTube, Facebook, everywhere.

But we'll try to get to them all. But when you do join Patreon, we will answer. We will ask your question. That being said, this is from Sean. Have you ever owned a Dr. Seuss hat? Because I for sure have. That's a whole round of a question. Oh, man.

That's a great question, Joe. But it wasn't for Dr. Seuss. You know what I mean? Like it was a Dr. Seuss. Like the hat and the hat happened. I think it was like New York Rangers or something. Yeah, either way. They're trashed.

That's even trash here, yeah. The royal family isn't wearing those around the house. Have you ever signed up for a credit card at a sporting event to get like the free towel or whatever? No, but brother, I am in debt to Hot Topic right now. To Hot Topic? Hot Topic. How the fuck do you know Hot Topic?

You're joking. You're almost $1,000. I swear to shoot. For a Hot Topic card? Hot to you. They call me every six times a day. How did you get it? Like four years ago.

Listen, you're dealing with that. Why would you get a Hot Topic? Because I couldn't get a credit card anywhere. And I was trying to buy Christmas gifts. And I couldn't find a credit card anywhere. And then I was in Hot Topic just getting a thing for myself. You know, whatever. Sure.

And then. Like an adult? Yeah. And then I heard the lady offer someone a Hot Topic. 20% off for the credit card, yeah, yeah. So then she asked me and I said, sure. And I assumed I wasn't going to qualify. And I qualified.

And I cleaned house, dude. Oh, that percentage. Yeah, dude. See, what was the year? I got two chain wallets. Well, I spent. The max was like $400. I could spend $400 at Hot Topic.

So I spent $400 at Hot Topic for Christmas gifts. And then. Ignored the bill. And now it's like $1,000 something. Listen, this is what to do. I can get you out of this. We're pretty. Do you talk to them?

Or no? No. Buddy, this is what you do. Yeah. You answer the call. Grab me a lava lamp. No, answer the call. And what they'll do is they have a settlement number

that they'll give you, right? Because they bought that. I went through this with Macy's. They bought that money for pennies on the dollar. Because Hot Topic goes. This isn't Hot Topic that's calling. Hot Topic's not calling you. Third party.

No, it's third party shit. So Hot Topic. It's not scary. Like a lawyer, you know? No, it's all bullshit. No, it's not some girl from Hot Topic. Hey, this is Tiffany. Scott, can you come pay your bill?

Don't even try me. Scott. They'll offer you. Because they bought your $400 of debt for like $200, right? And then the first company couldn't collect it. So they sold that $200 for like $100. And then they couldn't collect it. So you might be, I remember the one time.

Dude, because the message is they've been leaving me now. It's like, hey, we know COVID might have you messed up. They'll look because they'll look for anything. I'm going to pick up. Yeah, they say anything. They'll say anything. I had a dude who got me. He really got me.

He scared the shit out of me when I was in my 20s. He was calling my brother's place where I lived. Yeah. That time when I was a kid, I had a cell phone when I was in middle school, I think. And I'd get phone calls. And one guy was like, your mommy's going to go to jail. And now you look at it now.

You're like, there's no way. Yeah, I know. There's no such thing as debtor's prison in the United States. I've researched these laws quite clearly. Your mom's going to jail. Yeah, your mommy's going to jail. You haven't met my dad, asshole. I'll tell you that.

She ain't going anywhere. Captain of Paquani, dog. Hit the brick. Wait, Kibby, you didn't finish how to resolve this. So they don't have for the listeners. Yeah, for the listeners. They don't have $1,000 invested into that money. They might have fucking 120 or something.

I don't know what it is. But the longer it goes, the less and less they have invested in the money. Because I remember at one time, I owed Macy's fucking $900 or something for ever for like fucking 60 or seven years. So finally, I answered the phone. I'm like, I had like $500 in my account. I'm like, I'm just getting out in front of this.

I'm like, all right. I'm like, what do I have to pay you for you to stop calling me? They must have called me 15,000 times in the seven years. I said, what do I have to pay you today to stop calling me? He goes, $37. Shut the fuck up. Later, dude. Here you go.

Take your money. $37, Scott. Your credit's fucked. It's already fucked. Scott, listen to me. $37. I might not have any ideas. And see if you can get the card back.

It's not me. Can you reactivate my card, please? It's not going to be $1,000. Please, dude. I need to go to Hot Topic. Y'all still go to Hot Topic, too. And drop like a $25, you know, $25. What are you buying at Hot Topic?

He's wearing a disguise. He's got like my outfit. Well, they sell wrestling t-shirts. They sell wrestling t-shirts. I swear to God, it's not me. Yeah, I do get freaked out sometimes. You look a lot like Scott Chaplin. Oh, no, not me.

I'm from Canada. Big porn star up in Canada. I got one more from Christopher. Is it garbage to become a member of a men's only restricted social club for cheap beer and gambling, asking for a friend? Like the Elks Lodge, Knights of Columbus, the what else, the Moose Lodge?

They're great. I think it depends where you come from. That could be a good move for somebody in a certain town. Especially if the clubhouse or whatever, like, you know, like the VFW or wherever the actual Lodge is. That's like a lifeline. Has been a redone. And the bar's nice.

You can go there and watch a game, not get your balls broke. Have a roast beef sandwich. That's clean living. Or you know what, dude? Become a, this guy, he wants to make friends, obviously. Volunteer firefighter, isn't he? Yeah, am I going to be a loser if I join this club? If you want friends, be a volunteer firefighter, man.

That's a good hanger. These guys really think they're like doing things. Especially in small towns. Yeah, it brings them together, man. They think they're like heroes, you know? But you just get to hang out and watch an ass car or whatever. My family's were Elks Lodge in Wildwood. It's like, you go in there, it's like fucking nickel beers.

And it's like going back to 1922. It's fucking fantastic. That's nice. If you ever low on cash and looking to drink on the cheap, go to an American Legion. American Legion's big too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you got to be a guest to somebody to get in.

It's like, hey, who are you with? Yeah, I haven't been to a party. Parties used to be held at like a wedding. Yeah, have you ever gone to a wedding at a W.O.U? Their food's always top shelf. Match potatoes and meatballs. I don't know why. Chicken franchise, dude.

They always have chicken. As much as you want. Chicken franchise and coleslaw. You're like, what the fuck? But it's fantastic. Dinner rolls are always on point. The only dressing was ranch. They fucking did it right.

Yeah. Woo. All right, I want to do you brush your teeth in the shower. I do, I do. Trash, trash. That's not trash. That's how you properly do it. No.

I do it too. Because you got to get crazy with a toothbrush. Like, if you really want to get the nasty out of your mouth, you got to let some suds come out of your face and whatnot. You're not going to stand in front of the mirror like that. Oh, it's trash. I brush my teeth in the shower. So you brush your teeth in the shower.

But it's been determined here on the podcast that that's garbage. Everybody said it's not sand. Do you leave the toothbrush in there? No. OK. So you won't leave the toothbrush in there, bro. You'll do the act in there.

So you know that it's dirty in there. The thing is, it's a cow pee in the sink, though. You do? Yeah, this is not a rib. I pee in the sink, like, more than into a toilet. Dude, you are garbage. Wait, why? I think I know why.

I don't. Does your girlfriend break your balls about pee and get on the floor? No, I don't pee on the floor, dude. I got a pretty good aim. You got a good piece on you, dude. I don't like touching toilet, like, flusher, you know, flusher. I'm talking when I'm out and about.

OK, I like a restaurant or a bar or something. Wait, they'll pee in the sink there? Restaurant or a bar if I stop in some, you know, like, at a thing. No, wait, like, a gallery opening? What do you mean? OK, yeah, if there's a gallery opening and I, and it's a door. You're not going to a gallery opening. What are you talking about?

Dude, if you remember how I shit before, right? Yeah. But I told you I had to piss. If I had to piss, there's a chance I would have pissed in that sink out there. Wow, that's nuts. A chance. Nuts.

Because you immediately, fuck it, ready? You immediately hit the faucet. It goes down, right? Sure. Goes down and then and then soap right away. You don't have to. There's not a lot of touching things. You don't have to walk over to a thing that makes your shoes sticky.

But I'm avoiding garbage. I had a public place. What if somebody walked in? You were. No, no, I won't do it. I won't do it. You know, you know, you have a star box or something. Yeah, you have to assess the star box. Oh, if I could lock the door, yes.

Yeah. Yeah, I do. No, I haven't done it. No, while you can't lock the doors. So I haven't done it at Wawa. Because you do it at home or no? No, no, no, no. So it's a sanitary thing for your hands.

It's a sanitary thing out in the back. Fuck everybody else, though. I'll tell you that fucking. I'm splashing cold water on my face. And I clean it, you know, and then I round the bowl with the water. I splash it around the bowl a little. Oh, that's real nice of you. Yeah, pretty bizarre soap.

I could see doing it. I do it at the house if it wants. And you get to yourself in the mirror. You get to look at yourself in the mirror, you know. Does your does your girl know you do it? You do it in the show? No, nobody does. So everybody keep it quiet.

Oh, you do it sometimes at home. If my girlfriend's in the bathroom and I have to listen, my girlfriend's in the bathroom and I have to pee really bad. I'll go and get on my tippy toes in the kitchen sink and I'll pee in the kitchen sink. Oh, but you rush. You rush that shit. Yeah, but you're doing the dishes in there.

I wipe it all out. It don't do you spit in the kitchen sink. It's all pipes. Yeah, I'm bad. What's I blow my nose into the sinks and then and then rinse them down. That's wrong. And I blow my nose. You snot rocket.

I don't even know how to snot rocket. I snot rocket in the shower. No, my body goes. Yeah, I don't have to. I don't have the lung capacity for where we go in to the chin. Well, dude, you're an animal. Thank you. Shoot, it's not rockin.

Not having dinner at your place anytime soon. Fucking nasty. Are you double join it? No, I'm a lefty, though. Can you do anything with your feet? Anything weird? Play piano or pick things up? Play the guitar.

No, I could probably eat a thing. I could probably hold a fork in my with my feet. I think I could probably do it. Have you ever tried? I think I might have tried, you know, when you're younger. Hacky sack. I've tried it. Not good. Not good at it.

I was a big hack. What about juggling? Can you juggle? You look like a juggler. Tried hard. Couldn't devil sticks to try to play the devil. No, I mean, I, you know, I couldn't do it. But yeah, I never bought those.

But could do any of that stuff. Scott wanted to be that guy. He couldn't. That's even trashy. Couldn't do any of like magic kits. And then you can't do it. You go, what is happening? Couldn't do it, man.

Couldn't set off a rocket in the back. You had to save his life. Any of hide rockets. Holy shit. When you go to the pharmacy, CVS, right? Do you walk through the toy out and see what they have? I don't buy, though. I don't.

He said that like, yeah, plus he got you. I don't buy. You go to see what rest of the day. I want to know what the kids are. The kids are into. Usually when you say that, you mean like high school kids. I don't know what the seven year olds are after. I don't know what the kids are consuming.

But yeah, because the rest of the figures, I like seeing, you know, oh, that guy looks like that. I'm with you. I got one. Have you ever bought a chain necklace with a charm? I don't know, like a charm, but I remember you'd get like the fake. As an adult, my eyes now would go, no, don't do that. But when you're a little kid, a lot of like, you know, New York,

Yankee, like fake diamond chains. Yeah. I remember having one on a hat, like a big diamond New York Yankees like symbol that was like clipped onto the hat, you know, Yikes. Yeah. I had a dragon at one point. I was not. Dragon.

Tough guy. Cool. I did. I did some dragon shit. I would like wear dragons. They were big. How old are you? I'm 30.

OK. Yeah. I'm 34. They were big back in like when I was in like junior high, dragons were fucking in, dude. Yeah. I knew. So I knew some kids who like who fucked with dragons hard.

Yeah. Well, like DM at somebody, something was big on somebody was big on dragon Cisco, dude. This guy is like Cisco was big. The guy was saying the thong song was big on dragons. So thong song was the first home. He's just rocked dragons all the time. The song was the first guy over here.

I ever downloaded on that PMX. Watch out for this guy. Unfortunately, it wasn't just going to run from like 99. Oh, he did. Yeah, dude. And it was cool. Like the video was cool. Maybe just like ran on a lady's head.

Yeah, it was just so cool. I loved that as a kid. Dude, come on. He's got thumbs like a truck. I was a big usher fan. Usher was like. And you're breaking my balls for Cisco? You were an usher fan?

Usher's great, dude. Yeah, but just as no. Usher is like fantastic. Yeah, but I think. Then you could dance to usher. I used to dance hard to usher. Are you a good dancer? Really?

Was a good dancer. Very good dancer. Really? Yeah, I'm not lying. I have like school dances and stuff like that. I'm not joking. My mom said that my great grandfather could have been like this huge vaudeville guy,

but he refused to do blackface. Good for him. So they banished him. This was what she told me. Yeah. She told me this. I believe you. In reality, you probably did too much blackface.

So I can sing. I can dance. I can whistle. I can do all the things that people could do. Gotcha. That, yeah. Very. Big usher guy.

Do you know how to operate a forklift? No. Do you own a Chinese star right now? No, no, no. Nunchucks? Used to. Used to own nunchucks. Do you have any movie posters hanging in your apartment

currently? No, not currently. OK. Have you ever had orangina? No, no. Anyone in your family ever have a breathalyzer in their car? No, no. Do you eat cottage cheese?

No. Have you ever shot a potato gun? Yes. Yeah, potato guns are cool. Have you ever caught a t-shirt out of a t-shirt gun? No, but man, I tried. Don't hold that against me, dude. I fucking tried.

It's trash. That's all right. I tried to spit. That's a fucking hard, dude. I dove as hard as I could, man. Taking out a little kid. Have you ever made homemade butt wipes with a paper towel and some soap and hot water?

No soap. Just water? Yeah, just water. Unscented, huh? Like wet water. OK. So you have to do soap, because that's like a type of soap that you'd have to then wash out

of your ass, so that's why not take a shower. I think the addition of water is more outrageous. If you're amped up and you're going alternative ass wiping fucking methods. No, you're trying to wipe your ass. What is the key ingredient in just a touch of soap? It's not that I've done it. Yeah, especially if your ass ain't working with you.

Yeah, which is the worst. Have you ever owned a remote-controlled boat? Yes. Never good at working. No, I couldn't figure them out, but loved them. I had the guy on the jet ski, dude. I always wanted him to do a backflip. Never.

I had the same thing. They fucking suck. Yeah, those things stink. Remote-controlled cars? Yes, loved remote-controlled cars. The gas ones are the electric ones. Oh, electric. OK, all right, never got too hardcore.

No, no. Fair enough. Please. Have you ever been to a scrapyard? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, you're trash, man. Yeah, scrapyard. He answered yes to every fucking question.

Garbage picking was big. Garbage picking was big. Dude, we have a whole gym. We have four. One time we had four treadmills, just all from the garbage. Oh, my God. Have you ever been to medieval times? Yeah, a lot of birthdays.

A lot of birthdays, I mean. A lot of more than once? Because it's right in East Philadelphia. Yeah, it's right in Jersey. Yeah, yeah. Big medieval times. That's what they move so they can be closer to fucking medieval times.

Holy shit. I think I have everything I need to know at this point. Yeah. Under a decision. I would like to know this. If you were being executed tomorrow, what would your last meal be? Filet mignon.

That's good. From anywhere specific? I didn't say anything. Oh, no. OK, I wasn't sure if you're like the filet mignon. No, I just came up. No, if you got to pick. Yeah, anywhere.

Oh, yeah, like just fresh off the cow. OK. From your slaughterhouse. About one time a month. Just something really, you know? But yeah, like, you know. Build the meal. Take your time.

Build the meal. Medium rare. Some whipped potatoes. And then the, what's the thing? They're the green. Asparagus. Asparagus. Who gets asparagus on their last meal?

Why? Because that's a good combination. That's what they put there. Yeah, that's what they put. I don't think you can get it in any other way. That's what they put on them. That's what they put on the nice plates when I go out to dinner.

I would have got Doritos on the side. And then I like Doritos, but I don't like the breath that it gives you. Buddy, you're getting fried right after this. It's your last meal. I don't want the devil making fun of me. You know what I mean? All right, what about dessert?

I'm a big dessert guy. I love anything chocolate. OK. Lava cake. We never had, like, and I've told people this thing is ridiculous. I don't think I've had pie. Yeah. We never had a pie.

No, we were a non-pie, really. I've seen pie at other people's houses. And then I think I had pie when I was like 22 or something. But the idea of an apple pie or a real pie, no. That's like, are you a pilgrim? Like, that's what it felt like. It was very antiquated. Like, what are you fucking ancient?

Who made this? Your grandmother? So what would be, like, what's a dessert your mom would make if you ever were having a special dinner at home? Mom would make desserts. Yeah, an Entomans cake. Yeah, like Entomans, like, a crumb cake, crumb cake, big crumb cake fans.

Good night. Oh, it's so good, right? Yeah, big Entomans crumb cake fans. And I like the Entomans chocolate donuts. Oh, the rich chocolate frosting. The hard is the hard. And the yellow inside? I used to only eat the bottom and then just go, what?

Throw it out, mom. Dude, I would do two of those in two big fucking, two big solo cups of fucking whole milk. Oh, I never drank none milk people. Really? No. Milk was with the cereal, and then whatever was left over went in the drink.

I would do it with sweets. Oh, really? Wait, you wouldn't drink your cereal milk? I don't think I've ever had a glass of milk. I mean, obviously, I had milk as a baby, I guess, but I never had a glass of milk. Chocolate milk. I love chocolate milk, but no, never a glass of milk.

You were drinking soda at the bus stop as an elementary student. He was drinking at a basketball practice. But I don't like soda anymore. I just like water. I only drink water, and I drink a lot of water. Yeah. Unfortunately, that's not going to happen. Buddy, you could drink a fuck.

You could drink that above-ground pool. It ain't pulling you out of this. Unless it's an Olympic-sized pool of Pellegrino, we're going to have to deem you garbage, unfortunately. Buddy. Dead to right. Yeah, trash, the best. I don't think I've ever had somebody answer yes to almost

99% of the questions. I've got some. Fantastic. I fucking love it. We love you, buddy. Anything you want the folks out there to know before we get out of here? No, listen to my podcast.

Absolutely. There we go. Right down the aisle. Garbage days. It kind of sounds like there's. Honestly, sometimes I'll see a thing for Thursdays, and I think it's mine. I don't know.

I go, is that my podcast? Which one is it? But I promise it's good. I don't like, you know. It's very funny. It's very funny. Absolutely. We're not going to promote it or anything.

With Brendan Sagalow. No, I just mean in life. Like in life, not here. We'll promote it now. But it's very good. It's me, Brendan Sagalow, Garbage Days. Yeah, he was a previous guest. Brendan Sagalow, previous guest.

Absolutely fantastic. Kippy, what do you got? As always, thanks for tuning in. Please make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes, full video available on YouTube, Patreon, slash RU Garbage for bonus content. I am at Kevin Ryan Comedy on all social media. Thank you so much for all the support, guys.

We really fucking appreciate it. Absolutely. Yeah, that Patreon's cooking. We got a lot of stuff up on there. Please go in there and check it out. We love you guys. Toby, we love you, buddy. Happy holidays to everybody, and we will see you next week.

Peace.