Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Sean Patton: Southern Garbage

Episode Date: October 8, 2020

Kippy and Foley are back with the hilarious Sean Patton. Sean talks growing up in new New Orleans, Mailbox Baseball, and trashy accents. You know Sean from Comedy Central and Conan. Support our Sponsors: https://kushydreams.com and use code Garbage for 20% Originally Aired on www.GasdigitalNetwork.com on October 6th, 2020 Sign up for Gas Digital: www.GasdigitalNetwork.com - Promo code: AYG Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/foleygrams/ Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

Hey gang, it's your old pals, Uncle Hank and Kippy. Just wanna thank you for tuning in to R U Garbage. Yeah guys, make sure you subscribe. That way you get the episode as they come out and you can also go to gasdigitalnetwork.com, use promo code AYG to get bonus content and get the episodes before they come out and HD streaming. Do it.

Yeah. Welcome to another exciting edition of R U Garbage. The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H Foley. Baby, here we go again gang. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast.

This is R U Garbage, the show where we sit down with your favorite comedians and find out if they grew up classy or if they're complete trash. I'm your host H Foley coming at you on a beautiful fall day here in New York City. In the East Village gas digital studios, in the big studio, you can feel the crisp in the air, made an apple pie this weekend, ate the whole thing

in one night, not shocked about it. My co-host coming at you from right next to me, he yelled at me before the show just so he knows. He's fucking cranky. I don't know if the hymns aren't working or what the deal is, kid's backed up. He's got to whack one out. Got to send him to a rubbing tug, get this kid fresh here.

But gang, when you reach for a best pal, do yourself a favor. Still, even after all that, you make it a kippy Kevin James Ryan, everybody. Hey gang, I would like to not apologize for my outburst earlier. The whole booth was on my side, I must say. We're gonna be taking applications for new co-hosts,

moving forward on RU Garbage and RU Garbage Enterprises. Thank you so much for listening, everybody. Shout out, appreciate, make sure you subscribe, rate and review on iTunes. Do it. Full video available on YouTube. You can subscribe there almost at fucking 6,000. We'll be at 6,000 by the time this comes out.

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I say this often, but this time it's 100% true. We could not be more excited to have our incredibly funny, incredibly special guest here with us today. He's a standup comedian and an actor. As an actor, some of the things he has appeared in is inside Amy Schumer, Marin, and those who can't as a standup comedian.

Wait, he hit his fucking rap sheet. Laundry list. Late night with Jimmy Fallon. This is not happening. He's at his own half hour Comedy Central special. All right, it's been on two episodes of Conan. Brody Stevens enjoy it at midnight. All right.

To today's show, to melt down, what's your fucking deal? Comedy knockout live at the apartment. This week at the Comedy Cellar, he's got two albums out, standard operating procedure, and Scuttlebutt. But the big question everybody's dying today is, he garbage. And I stumbled over that like a fucking stroke victim.

Like he does every week. I apologize. Ladies and gentlemen, give me a nice fucking big round of applause for the one, the only, the incredible, Mr. Sean Patton, everybody. You guys, you guys have such great voices. Like, you know, it feels like you're the, like the two radio DJs who just know radio station

was hired. Yes, we're sure. We're not hiring these two guys and then podcasts started happening. Yeah. And then they were like, oh my God, look now there, Emperor. Sometimes I hear it.

I'm like, we really could just call us like fucking Fatso and Baldi and we could like take over Cleveland for sure. I don't, I, I, I did not go that far. Fatso and Baldi. Yeah. Which that's, why, why, why is that the, where it's skewed with morning radio?

It all went, like, it all went into like, whoa, we're crazy guys who we eat garbage. And we're drunk all the time. Like, why didn't it skew into more like, hey, look, I was, you know what I was doing last night? Reading Proust. Who else was up reading that one book by that guy? Where are my intellectuals at?

Pauline. The fucking, that's, wait, it's funny cause you said live at the apartment. I did. I mean, I couldn't read my handwriting. I stumbled over it. But for a second, I thought you were about to say live at the Apollo.

And I had a moment where I was like, did I do that? I probably got yanked off immediately. The only guy that ever beat up the Sandman, ladies and gentlemen. You know what that was? That was a show at an apartment before shows and apartments happened. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because of the virus. I miss best bars in America. You can leave that out. You can always leave that out. Well, we had your co-host on Jane Larson. Jane Larson's a wonderful man. That show destroyed both of us from the liver out. There's a lot of boozing, right?

A lot of boozing and a lot of dealing with fucking, I mean, if you're gonna let, if you're gonna do a show that takes place in a bar, they should've, I think they should've let us run a little wilder. Yeah. They tried to hone us in a little too much and it was like, you want me to repeat myself?

I'm hammered. Why are the, what are the camera guys doing? And the camera guys are doing their job. I don't wanna, I don't wanna, it wasn't anybody's fault, but it was just a, also we were both like, I think, I think if you're gonna have a show where your guys are drinking every single fucking week, like that's the thing, multiple bars a day.

Jesus. So you're drinking from, we would start, I would say 2 p.m. to 3 a.m. sometimes. Damn. What? And multiple bars, usually two and a half hours at each bar, and you couldn't fake it. You couldn't fake it.

So it comes off so ingenuous, so hammy. It comes off just ingenuous and you just couldn't fake it, but you couldn't sober up either, because then you would just get that like, The sleeping. The heavy head. The heavy head. So you kind of had to maintain a buzz.

I get it. Now I'm just describing your average resident of Chicago or New Orleans, I get it. But like, having to be professional in those moments, that's the part no one understood. They're like, greatest job in the world. Once something becomes the job, though. It's not fun.

It's not fun. So getting shit-faced stopped being fun, because you had to maintain some level of like, oh, I'm sorry, I got to say this to the camera. Wait, fuck it, this drink sucks. And they cut that part out. Sounds to me like you need it was a little fucking nose candy to keep it.

Keep you on an even key. Believe you me, it was offered. But Jay's a family man, and I am a pussy. I'm not talking about going crazy. This is a little Tudorutsky to get you back on the runway. Get your head straight. Don't you find Tudorutsky? That would have been your name.

That would have been part of your segment. It's Tudorutsky Tuesdays. Howdy, you guys. Insert drop of snorting? But anyway, yeah, but that was just interesting hearing some of that stuff. Because I was like, at midnight, I forgot that show. Remember that show?

That was like hot for a minute. It was like, that was like a get. Like, you wanted to get on at midnight, it was big. Dude, some people were great. I was fucking terrible at it. Puns are my weakness. But some people were fucking, like Ron Funches was just like a jet out.

But I remember you'd show up, and there'd be writers who just had a list of options to choose from. Really? Yeah. You'd be like, yeah, please. I'll take as many of those. I don't have to do anything. Take them home with me.

But then that ego would take control, and you'd be like, no, no, no. What are you doing? You're a comedian. Come up with your own. She'd be like, all right, I said I wanted 10. Give me three, and I'll come up with the other seven. Keep me in your pocket, just in case.

But like that, I forgot about that. That was a big member. I remember when I first got to the city, people were doing red-eye. That was like a big deal, getting on that show. Red-eye with Tom Shalu. It was not on Fox. Conservative at midnight.

Yeah. So it was at 8 PM. That's what they should call it. At dinner time. Too funny. All right, so we want to hear the backstory about Sean Pat. You and I did Shannon's podcast a few months ago, which was really fun.

And one of the stories that you told, which is a ghost story, which was fucking frightening. But the story started out with him and one of his boys in the woods boozing. Oh, yeah, man. So we know where we're going in this direction. Do you think you're garbage? You know what?

I think I'm a, I think I'm a, I call myself, I come from, I come from Southeast Louisiana from, you know, the suburbs of New Orleans. We weren't white trash. We were white recyclable. So that's, I think that's what we're going to discover at the end of this podcast and I'm a recyclable. But so a hybrid.

Where was your socioeconomic level as compared to like Norman? Cause his was like real weird. Like they lived in the mansion, but they were broken. It was a shitty neighborhood to find the suburbs. Mark actually like, like my parents, my family's from the Lord night, like legit hardcore, like it's core of New Orleans, but they, you know, got out at a certain point.

And I grew up in Slidel, Louise, Chalmet and Slidel, which together are like the Staten Island of New Orleans. Mark, to my knowledge, grew up in like, Mark actually grew up in the city. He grew up in like the alphabet city. Like proper. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, I don't, I don't know what Mark's parents did for a living. I would say we were like, we were upper middle class for sure. Nobody was shrimping or anything like that. I mean, my, my, my mom for a living. No, my mom's a nurse. My mom's an RN.

And my dad runs a catering business. Okay. So like, we, you know, we did well, but we lived in the fucking, you know, the, I, I liked, I know it's like fucking hip to shit on the suburbs. Of course. You can't be more than. It's so, it's, I mean, it's so hip to just trash your past. And I suffered so hard, but no, I mean, I lucked out like,

my inner, my immediate family were good people. And we were, and we grew up in like a, a middle class suburb that thought it was a lot more badass. That's a lot of the suburbs though. That's a lot of suburbs. It was like, there was a country club in my neighborhood, but it was a working class country club. Like I learned to play tennis, but from a dude named Renee,

who had an LSU tiger tattoo on his tongue, on his fucking tongue. He wore LSU gear every Louisiana State University. Every single day he would watch games at the country club. And he was that guy who, and you know, sports fans, they'd be watching, he'd be watching like, look at this is great. Darden 10, and then if there's a fumble,

you fucking motherfuckers, you fucking motherfuckers, you fucking fumble on Darden 10, you fucking motherfuckers. Anyway, so he was that guy. I see your overhand serve again there, Sean. And here's the best part, didn't attend Louisiana State University. Oh my God, that's a trash quality.

But that's, but you know what I'm saying? So like I was surrounded by guys like that. And my dad, like I said, runs a catering company. The thing about a catering company is, and I'm not trying to, but 70% of the workforce in a catering company is part time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. And 70% of those people are kind of on their last chance.

Yes, yes, yes, yes. You know what I'm saying? There's a lot of second chance, maybe cons or something, a little checker passed. Or like senior citizens who don't need the money, but just need to move so their bodies don't shut down. So like, or both, and also ex-convicts. So like here, I was surrounded my whole life

by like the underbelly. The knuckleheads. The knuckleheads, but you learn a lot from that. Yes, you learn a lot from that. That's what the whole show is, of course. My whole family is knuckleheads. It's like, my mom's one of, there's hundreds of us. She's one of nine from Philadelphia.

They're all like fucking plumbers, or they're all just like blue collar, screaming at the Eagles, knuckleheads, which I love. I know for a fact, the hardest manual labor, manual labor sentence, the hardest workers on the planet are functional alcoholics. Oh, dude, I was just- Without question.

You get a good alcoholic line cook? Oh, that guy's cranking out plates. That guy can fuck up a tomato coolly. Dude, you go, we were just, he just picked up a 57th street, and there's like people outside, all construction workers drinking at lunch. And they're all gonna go back to like,

operating a crane or a forklift or something. They're all having Heinekens out on the streets. And they're gonna do a good job. Yes. Like my dad catered, there's a PGA event in New Orleans every year. Like I went on the tour. My dad catered that every year.

That's pretty classy. It was, yeah. That's gotta be a big contract. But that's what it is. But that's what I'm saying. Like, it's all these corporate sky boxes, all these like fucking, you know, big money people. And my dad ran an iron fucking ship.

But occasionally, you'd have the guy who's, his whole job is running giant gallons of food on his back, back and forth for 16 hours straight. That guy's nipping a Budweiser. Sure. That guy's got a steady low, but steady buzz. Yeah. The whole time.

Like a low grade fever. Right. His name's AJ, and he's a good fucking guy. You know what I mean? He's a good fucking dude. And can you blame him? Yeah. Not at all.

And they all got that Louisiana accent. Like, dude, you just gotta fucking suck it down right quick. And just don't let him see you do it. But, you know, also just put it down. You know, just put it down. Somebody's like, is that yours? Like, I ain't mind. I ain't touching it.

Very, lot, lot of street corner mentality. That's who the boss usually looks you out of the way. If you're a hard worker, they let you get away with it. As long as you're not fucking embarrassed anybody. You're not grabbing at Tiger Woods' wife or anything. Right. I think, I think, I mean, Tiger Woods didn't go that way. He didn't stop at that one.

I mean, we got, you got Phil Mickelson, maybe. You got, you got a lot of John Daley's, you know? But like, no offense to John Daley, but you know, come on, I can hit real hard. Like I was like, You're trash. He's trash. Yeah.

Yeah. He have talked about fucking cracking the safe. That guy infiltrated like the most prestigious, the prestigious sports. Smoking rocks on the fairway. And he's a booze out, smoking darts on the, yeah. But just so you know, we love the burps. We celebrate it here.

Yeah. We love it. We celebrate it. And like, when I was home for fucking, I went home for a little bit for the pandemic. Half of me in the back of my head, like this is fucking nice down here. I mean, yeah, dude.

I'm definitely first generation suburb, right? Like my parents. Oh yeah. Yeah, my parents are city. But like that's the thing, because of that, the rest of my family, most of my, like large chunk of my family is still in the city. So I spent most of my upbringing up in the city.

Right. And then like, as soon as I could get the fuck out, I did. And like, you know, one of my sisters lives back in the burps now, but only cause she could afford to buy a house there. Okay. Because houses in fucking the city of New Orleans,

pre-pandemic, I don't know what they're like now. Or, you know, you know, skyrocketing. And I think that's, a lot of cities, it's like weird because there was white flight. Yeah. And then now, I don't know, gentrification, and then the cities are like popular again, but now there's this whole group of people who are like,

we want to live in the city. We have the jobs that are in the cities, but we can't afford to live in the city. So they're like moving back into like the closest suburbs now. And it's like a different form of, it's like forced flight. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, cause I can't afford it. That doesn't see color.

How many brothers and sisters do you have? I have two sisters and a brother. I'm the oldest. Okay. Oh, really? Yeah, go figure. By how much? I mean, four years, four years, nine years, 14 years.

Wow. So you were like the fucking, you were like the big bear. You were watching out for all of them. You know what? Like I said earlier, where I learned, basically by being surrounded by so many, you know, so much salt. So the salt and the salt of the earth to the point

where it was giving the earth hypertension. Yeah, salt mine. Yeah, yeah. I learned. I'm not talking about Himalayan salt. Right. I wasn't thinking Himalayan salt. Talking about Morton's.

We're talking about that sidewalk salt that you shouldn't necessarily be using on food. Yeah, the non-edible salt. It burns the dog's feet. That's the kind of salt we're talking about. But like because of that, I learned a lot of what not to do in life. And I think I provided the same service for my siblings.

Yeah. I was a total fuck up. I was just a total from like 16 to 20. I was a piece of shit. Just like boozing and drinking and just skipping school, stealing from my parents, lying about it, getting caught, went to jail for playing mailbox, baseball, like a real good shit.

Holy shit. That's like stand by me type shit. Dude, it was like. I had soda pop. Seriously. I remember it was me and two other guys and we didn't do it from like the back of a truck. We did it from like the window of my buddy's car.

And we were just driving around side out, hitting mailboxes, drunk out of our minds, high as fuck. And we decided to get his ex-girlfriend. The vengeance. Right. The problem was we did it too late slash early in the morning to where her parents were up,

heard the commotion, recognized his car. Sure. And they called the cops. If we'd have been. They dined you out? They dined us out. Dude, if we'd have. It's a federal offense.

Let's say if it had been an hour later and there was mailbox or mail in those mailboxes, we'd have been fucked. That's the difference. That's the difference. A fucking pottery born catalog. You get your federal charges. It's like shooting somebody below the kneecap.

Yeah. It's not attempted murder. Oh really? Yeah. Keep that one in your back pocket. Next time you got your nickel on you. Next time you're totin' steel. Keep that one in your chamber.

Totin' steel. Totin' steel Thursdays. Go for the shins. Holy shit. But yeah, I went to fucking. That was actually the greatest thing my parents ever did for me was they left me in jail. Really?

I got arrested on a Monday morning and got processed and that's, you know, if you've ever been through it. This is for the mail box thing. Mail box baseball, yeah. Okay. They didn't come get me. They called the house and were like,

bring him in or we're coming to get him. Now how did the parents know that you were in the car with the kid? Because the fucking kid who was driving the car snitched everyone out. Holy fuck. Fuck, what the shit? Well, here's the best part.

This is the 90s too. Nobody snitched back then. 1997, yeah. No. Nobody rapped. It wasn't in vogue yet. Honestly, I'm surprised. It's just,

nobody snitched back then. Nobody did. I'm surprised that the parents fucking called the cops and they didn't. Normally for, in my situation, that would have been the mom would have called my mom and gave a warning. Cause I actually had that situation.

I was leaving some messages on a next girl's voicemail that weren't too nice. They weren't pleased with her in my hoodie either. I love the idea. People snitched in the 80s. The 90s were clean. Right? People had honor.

There's a code of gentlemen. There's a code of fucking people. They would have called your mom and said, listen, if he does this again, then we're gonna call in the cops. Does this again? If he commits another felony, we're really gonna get him.

People started snitching in the office. No, I mean like. I also think you want to live in good fellas in your head a little bit. I'm telling you, nobody did that. That's the way we handled it back then. But the thing was they called the cops on the dude. Cops came to his house, arrested him.

Well, here's the fucking thing. He was 17. Me and the other guy were 18 when this happened. So the cops couldn't arrest him. He was still technically a minor. So we go in, me and the other guy. I mean, I remember they read me the rights. My mom's there fucking crying.

They're processing, which if you've been through it, it's all like, I'm in the system. It's crazy. Damn. And then you go, everyone, everyone was like, your parents are gonna bail you out. Don't fucking fret. And I called him with my one phone call

just to check in and be like, when's the bail going through? And I remember my dad. But I can remember I could hear my mom crying and my dad in the background being like, we're not bailing you out. Dude, that's blue collar. That's like that.

We are not. Let him fucking sweat it out. Well, cause I was arraigned on a, it was a Monday morning I got arrested and I got arraigned on Thursday morning. But when did you do this? What was it? It was on a weekend, right?

I did it on, no, we did it on a Sunday night. Sunday night. Sunday night in the Monday? In the Monday, yeah. Was it a school night? No, summertime. Oh. So it was just like pure fuck up.

And it's weird on a Sunday, I don't know. Yeah, it was, cause it was also like unplanned. Dude, they're smashing mailboxes. Do you care what the fucking day it is? It seems like more of like a Friday, Saturday, night thing. That's why we did it on a Sunday. That's why we did it on a Sunday. Keep them guessing.

We was out smart and he fucked. The cops never be looking for it, see? They'll never get us on a Sunday. God damn it, they got us. Every loser hits a mailbox on a Friday. You hit a bread truck on a Friday. Mailbox on a Sunday. They do mailboxes on Sundays.

They do liquor stores on fucking Tuesdays. That's when they want you. Yeah, they look it out on a Saturday night. You steal bikes any day of the week. But yeah, I spent basically three nights in jail. Three days in jail. And what was this? This is what?

This is the township or whatever you mean? Slydell Parish Prison or Slydell Parish. Yeah, I mean, it was just like a fucking basic four cell shower at the end. Rough company, I would imagine. No, I lucked out in the sense that it was myself and the other guy that I was with. Ah, your buddy, that's awesome.

So what are you in here for, huh? Well, no, but it was two of us in a four person cell. Okay. Well, at least if the shit happened. And then, yeah, and then the other guy in the cell, he kind of took a liking to us in the right way. Not in like, boy, you're gonna be on my side, but just straight up like, I see a lot of myself

and you guys and I mean that in a proper way. It's so funny because the dude, I wish I could remember it verbatim, but he was an older guy, his name was Ricky, which is a standard, standard, like honored, trash title. Yeah, Ricky's, dude, if you got an uncle Ricky, he has a fuck up for sure. What is the full name of Ricky?

Richard Ricardo and some Ricky. Anything with a Y, anything that ends in a Y after 20 is a tough one. You gotta go IE. I always, yeah, those shit. Or just two E's and a little Ricky. I always loved those situations where somebody that's like a complete fuck up

is like giving you the advice. It's like, I'm fucking 12, you're 35, we're working in the same kitchen. What are you talking about? Dude, he had this, he told us that he had turned himself in. He was a speed addict who had turned himself in. Nice. Because he got, dude, he had to fucking,

it was just such like a outman speed, it's good shit. I was on it and then I was off it and it wore off, so now I'm speeding the car because I ain't speeding in my head no more and I get pulled over and I'm running, I run. I get away, I run and I get away, but I realize that's it, that's the only time I'm getting away. I gotta turn around, I gotta turn myself in,

dude, that's why I'm here now, man. And then he would lift up his mattress and under his mattress he had like cigarettes, little chocolates. How long was he in there for? He had been in there for like a month. What? Yeah, he was waiting on his arrangement,

which I guess just kept getting pulled back. Jesus Christ. So he had been there for like a month, so he just had like a bunch of shit under the mattress. He smoked half of our cigarettes because they let us both have cigarettes, or like you guys can take your cigarettes in. And he bummed, even though he had a fucking spread.

Sure, he had a space to that. We were gonna get him from the fish, you know how long he's gonna be in there. We were way too afraid to be like, hey man, you got a fucking, I see five menthols, two 100s and a capri, a little skinny guy. What the fuck you taking my camel red lights for?

Yeah. But yeah, but it was, I was never like in danger. There was never like a scuffle or a fucking, there was like a rotating cast of the fourth member. Sure. Of the cell. But you got numbers at that point, like it's you three living harmoniously.

Oh yeah, in the orange. So if he comes in, they're the outside. Oh yeah, we were definitely, yeah. But the feeling of incarceration was like, nah, fuck that. Damn. Like I think if my parents would have bailed me out, I would have by now been dead

or just a total fucking loser. Okay. But the fact that sitting in there for 72 hours, just the feeling of it, drinking the fucking non-carbonated root beer, I just remember that was the thing. Non-carbonated. Because it was powdered.

So it was powdered root beer flavored water. What the fuck? And it was every meal was that. Taking an A and W around here? No, fuck. A stort to hangs, anything. It was a lot of baloney. But.

Hey judge, how about a mug? You know what I mean? What do you got agrees to get a fucking, to get a Barks in here? Come on, come on. Barks has the bite. No caffeine, there's no caffeine. I'm gonna go right to sleep.

But yeah, it was just, yeah, that was a very big, like, all right, I'm gonna, I'm gonna get, I'm not gonna go down that path. And so you got a reign. What did they end up charging you with? I wanna hear the end of this. Oh, I got, I mean, I got charged for destruction of property and got it sent introduced to one year probation,

three months of community service, which was barely, I don't remember really doing anything. I remember showing up and sitting in a room with a bunch of other fuck ups and they just occasionally be like, you and you go meet up, put on these vests and go. I think like once or twice I had to go pick up trash, like at a football field in a school after a game.

It was never anything, it felt like- In Louisiana, I would have been worried about ending up on a fucking road gang or something like that. Not at, not- A fucking cool hand, Luke. I'm sure those guys, I'm sure that happened. I'm sure that's where Ricky went.

Ha ha ha ha, Ricky! I'm sure he's out there right now, telling his speech story. Man, he speaks good shit, man. Breaking bad, y'all seen this yet? I'm from the future, now I'm back. It's crazy. I was on speed, on speed, on speed,

on speed, on speed, now I'm here. God damn. But yeah, like that. That's great. And then yeah, I got, but I was a fuck up. I mean, like my siblings definitely are all better off because they watch me just fall. You scared them straight.

I mean, the fights, the fights I had with my parents, my mom punched me in the face in front of all of them once. Nice. Me and my dad went at it once in front of them. I mean, the shit I shouted, the awful fucking things I said to my parents alone, I should fucking burn for, you know, I stole their van once. Was it the catering van?

No, just like their conversion, like the family van. You had a conversion, like a big conversion. Yeah, you remember those fucking things? Wow, really? It was like the one family vehicle. That was clean living back in the day. The bed went down in the back. The bed went down in the back.

Do you have captain chairs? Captain chairs? Dude, you had captain chairs. I had the TV, I had the built-in TV with the DVD player. DVD player? I know, it was a big thing. Things like fucking the space shop. And I stole it.

I stole it, of course. My parents kicked me out of the house. This was a year, this was like six months after the jail incident. This was like my relapse. They kicked me out of the house. I snuck back into the house that night, stole the van, and had it for like two days before I finally just

brought it back. They didn't call the cops on you, though. They did. They did, they did. But they didn't, they just said the van was stolen. They didn't say it was me. But then I turned it back in and they called it. And they were like, it was a mistake and cops let it go,

I guess, but I guess, I don't really, I don't really know the details of that. Because by that point, I was in a straight-up like, I got to get my shit together or it's over. What'd you do with the van for two days? Just lived, lived in it, drove around. It's a convert, what do you mean? What the fuck are you not going to do in a conversion van

with a DVD player through Captain Chair? This is why I still to this day suspect that they didn't actually call the cops. They just told me after the fact that they did. But it was, yeah, it was a fuck up. Damn, conversion vans were fucked. Conversion vans were sweet, dude. I mean, like that, I wish to God that they,

the Ford Motor Company. Still, man. Still made like, what the, remember the curtains that pulled? Yeah. What am I, an asshole? Of course. The curtains in the back went,

and they had the little ladder, the metal ladder that went up to the top. Jesus, you guys do know, you guys. Dude. Big conversion van. We borrowed one time to, we borrowed one of my dad's business partners, conversion vans one time to go to Niagara Falls.

And I, dude, I thought we were a fuck. I thought we were the Rockefellers for the weekend. It was fucking awesome. Conversion vans Friday. I'm like, we got the VHS, the whole thing? He's giving us the VHS too. All right, let's go. Yeah, conversion vans.

Wait, did you guys have the chairs that spun? No. Because Captain Chair. Yeah, but they didn't, did they spin back? I mean, I remember you could do this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's how I remember too. That's like Star Trek. No shit.

Well, no, we had the thing where it turned and then the table popped up in between the two. Yeah, you remember that? I didn't have that. I remember that from the A team when George Papard would turn around and straighten everybody out in the fucking back of the hand. You're in the back with a big stove.

And the cooler in the middle, always full of Bacardi breezers. Remember those? I don't even know what a breezer is. Who was trying to get them, your parents? My mom, that was a wine cooler. I do. That was the first, no, Seagram's wine cooler,

first thing I ever drank. Bottles and James. Yeah, wine coolers are the white claw what AM Radio was to podcast. Yes, yes, yes, for sure. Nobody gave it, nobody gave them the respect. Nope, they were, they were 25 years ahead of the curve. Yeah.

They were fucking white claws with sugar in them. Seltzers. Yeah. Now there's so many, I mean, that right there might tell you if I'm trash or not, but I fuck with seltzers hard, I love them. Big, big seltzer guy. Love them.

But the thing is, I've never done, now I've never done meth. Yeah. But like, it's such cheap. That's a weird thing to say. I wish the episode would just end there. I never done that. And that's the end.

That sounds like a guy who's done meth. No, I'm just saying, I drink a lot. I have a drink, I drink a bunch, right? Well, like when I drink, I drink. Okay, you don't look like, you look like someone who used to drink, but is now sober, but for a while. I'm only 19.

Does that- Okay, okay, okay. I had a rough paper out of here, Sean. He has sober face? No, dude. That's pretty good. So. A lot of black coffee and cigarettes

outside of the church. In an undiscript paper cup. On a Wednesday night, I normally don't drink coffee or smoke, but outside the church in the eyes of God. God, I don't know why. Squad. Wait, where are you?

You guys are both like- Filly guys. Outside of Philly, yeah. But meth, so the meth you've never done. But they use, they're cranking those things out now and they use such cheap, it's just cheap malt liquor and silt, sir. That's why-

I thought it was vodka. No, some of one or two, like the high noons actual real vodka, but most of them are just real, the cheapest fucking malt liquor they can get. Mixed with seltzer and a little bit of watermelon or whatever. So you drink like fucking 19 of them bad boys.

Dude, you wake up the next day fucking suited. You're on Mars when you wake up, when you wake up, dude. You're like, I'm like, you feel dirty the next morning. I find myself checking my heartbeat in my temple. Because my shit's gone up into my fucking head. My heart just jumps into my head.

72 BPMs, we're all right. Jesus Christ, what's going on? They're bad, it's so cheap. Give me a, I'll drink a bottle of Jameson and we'll get up in the next morning and run a fucking marathon. But yeah, fucking 20 and then bad boys. I'm done.

I was drinking four Locos for a minute. I mean, they're not that last year and a half. You know my favorite brand of the seltzer is Bud Light. I think the Bud Lights are nice. Bud Lights are nice. Superior. Yeah. We are all trash.

They're all, I mean, they're all, yeah. So here, I mean, good guy, I'm just feeling this. I'm coloring in this sketch real nice. Hey, what's up everybody? I wanted to tell you about our new sponsor, Cushy Dreams. We've been waiting to get these guys on board and I'm happy we did.

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Now back to the show. Unbelievable. But yeah, it was a fuck up forever. And then I dropped out of school twice. Like I dropped out of high school, got my GED. High school? You dropped out of high school? You got a GED?

I have a GED. I have a general educational formula. Because one of the questions is, and we're curious, did you take the SATs? Louisiana wasn't mandatory. It wasn't like that. Dude, they play Fast and Loose and the Big Easy. Back then, yeah.

It was like, what the fuck? Not mandatory. Not mandatory at all. Get your shit together. Dude, tell me about it. Nah, I don't worry about it. You're a good kid. You're a good shit.

Get in here. I took the ACT. And scored high enough that with the ACT and the GED, you're able to go to. I went to Baton Rouge Community College for a year and a half and then dropped out again. So it was like a double fuck you to my parents. Of like, I like how you did a year and a half

at Community College. I was like, that is the same for me. You were like three months away from fucking getting out of here. Barely fucking dead. School was, it sucks to admit that. But I also have like, I have obsessive compulsive disorder, which tends to draw your attention away from that, which isn't something you can completely obsess about.

So school was just something I was never going to do. Yeah, I hate it. Luckily, all my siblings are pretty fucking great at it. And they all did well. But like, one of my sisters has a master's. And I remember when she got that, I was like, that makes up for me. Mom and dad.

She's got a master's. We shared. So we each got one if you look at Aaron. Thanks, Aaron. But Aaron, let me borrow your bachelor's real quick. I got a job interview. By the time I was like in my mid 20s, everything was good. Like I was doing comedy by then.

And like my parents, I didn't let my parents come see me till I was doing it for about four years. Oh, wow. I kept it. I mean, they knew I was doing it, but I just kept them away. I'm like, nope. Well, I think that makes sense that you said when you started doing comedy is when you,

I think it's you have a lot of, I was the same way. I was just like fucking eating and drinking and smoking cigarettes like a fucking, like I was like a fucking tin knocker for my early 20s. And I was just fucking insane. They had a shit, just no direction, just fucking floating. And then I found comedy. And I'm like, oh, and then when you're like hyper focused

on something for so long, you straighten up and the distractions, you're not trying to fill your time anymore with like booze and shit. You have a purpose. You feel like you finally have a purpose. Like my parents and I became cool. I didn't like, I don't think my parents and I were cool till I was like in my mid 20s.

So like right out to like Katrina hit. Did you, did you move quickly in comedy? Like when did you start to like? I mean, I stayed in New Orleans for too long. I stayed in New Orleans for like four and a half years doing it just because, and like in back then in the city in New Orleans, if you were good, you got up maybe twice a week tops.

It just wasn't that much to do. But we didn't know any better. And there was like a small group of us in like a handful that were really good and cared and put on our own shows. So you were getting up maybe eight to nine times a month. But we thought that was enough. That was like you're like, I'm doing it. Yeah.

And so I did that for like four and a half years and then the storm kind of like made you, you know, I was, I had decided to get out before the storm hit, but also like that kind of just shuttled it. I don't know. I think I like, because I moved to LA first for a year and then here. And I feel like it wasn't until I was here for a bit

that I felt truly comfortable in my skin doing it. Because I think you got to just eat it for a while. And also like have your, I think the secret to comedy that no one, I don't know why people, more comics don't talk about this. It's having your resolve tested. I think that's true. 100%.

And by that I mean when you're on a hot streak, when you're younger at comedy, you know, three to five years in and you're crushing it for like a few months and you're just the hot shit. And then you have that set where for no explicable reason you eat ass. You get God. And it's a perfect situation.

Why the fuck? And it's not like you're doing it in front of a bunch of motherfuckers outside in the park, barely paying attention like we're doing now. But like you're in a packed room full of people at a show. The table set, the stakes there. Like everything's in place for you to be the fucking sultan of comedy.

And you fucking crumble. It's having those moments and coming back from those. Because I know lots of people who are funnier than I am, who are just straight up funnier than I am, but they couldn't come back from those moments. Well, that's, I think. And you keep going. It's true.

You also have to like, when you start, I look back at people just like even in the scene, when you start getting things quickly, like I was doing this show or I passed at this club. And then it's like, if you have a bunch of quick open doors and then you finally hit a wall, it's a lot harder to overcome that wall as to the person who's had to jump over the walls

every fucking time. When I moved here in 2007, for the first three years I was here, I didn't fuck with clubs at all. A lot of us were alt comedy or bar room kids, because those were the better shows back then. And the problem was that now the clubs are just, there's a renaissance and the clubs are fucking great. The clubs are in New York are fucking amazing.

I love, being fortunate enough to do clubs here is great. But at a club, you can have a rough set and the club's not gonna hold it against you because you've got two more the next night or that week. But with the bar shows, if you ate ass at one of those, a good one. There was a ripple, yeah. It's gonna be a while before you're back

because it's just the one show. And it's weekly, yeah, so it's like, hey. Yeah, so it was like, fuck. So there was a lot of those times where like, I remember my first year here, like it was after I'd gotten back from Montreal, after I did Montreal and I came back from that, it was just like, I'm on top of the world.

And then one of the first shows, big shows back, just after everyone knew I was at Montreal. And it was like, well, fuck, there's resolve being tested right away. But anyway, point being, I'm gone. Point being, if you think you can take this ship off course, you ain't met me yet, man! I love it.

It's off course Friday! Well, especially with Sean Penn coming in. What are we talking about? Listen, it's completely different. But anyway, I'm sorry, good. No, this is it, let's... No, I just wanted to know, like, so once you started to become successful

at comedy and your parents saw that you were putting an effort towards something and you kind of grounded yourself a little bit, that kind of smoothed the relationship over. Oh, and I also apologize. And I also had many drunken, teary-eyed fucking apologies to my parents. And they come to shows and like,

I think my dad definitely finds me funny. My mom, however, thinks I am God's gift to comedy. It's insane. That's good. And my mom, and all my life growing up, I always thought I got my sense of humor from my dad because he's a pe... No, he's a fucking runs a business.

He's a very present, charming, fucking, in the moment snappy guy. But my mom, I've learned, is where I get my sense of humor. I get my, like, I guess I get my lack of stage fright from my dad. Yeah. The charisma, yeah. Yeah, my fucking sense of humor comes from my mother,

who is a twisted woman. Really? And it's fucking hilarious. Like, my dad had a cancer. He had a tumor basically in his asshole. And he was shitting blood, which is terrible, right? But when my mom broke the news to us, she's like, he just won't stop shitting blood.

I mean, and my mom's a, all right, she's a delivery, labor delivery nurse. She's like, I mean, I haven't seen this much blood come out of a human's being's crotch in all my whole fucking career. She's like, rickles all the sudden. She's just busting his fucking balls. And like, she, I mean, thank God,

he got her removed and everything's fine now. But like, in the moment, we're all terrified. My mom's just cracking jokes. And so she, they come to every show they can. It's fantastic. That's a good, that's a great, that's a fucking great are you garbage story right there? After all that, the whole thing comes full circle.

Yeah, I had to become, I had to be, like I said, recyclable. Because the thing with like, you know, not to talk heavy on comedy, but like being a comedian, that's such a reach. And like that, you know, it's not like you're getting a regular job like, Oh, well, Sean got everything together.

He went four years of school. And now he's in a, you know what I mean? You fucking went for a big thing and fucking achieved it. So you know what I mean? And it's like, yeah. It's a special thing. My sister's got, my sister has her masters in sociology, you know, my other sister's like in culinary chef,

you know, world. And my brother is a surgical tech. So they've all got like, real career. It's not the one who's like, whoo, but like, you know, but like, you know, this pandemic's made it all fucking harder for everyone. It's, it's, I've never been more career wise terrified than I am now.

Because we don't fucking know, but we all are still pushing through. But resolve as you resolve, testing your, God damn it, you're fucking good at this. Resolving our resolve. It's testing our resolve. That's why he's fatso of kippy and the fatso. And we'll be right back after these messages.

From Jeritall, everybody. All right. That was incredible. Thank you. We're going to play a little game called are you garbage? Please. All right. We're going to ask you a series of questions, determine the trashiness.

Now we celebrate some of it. We don't celebrate all, you know, other parts of it. Some standard questions. First we want to ask you is what street you grew up on. Now things that would be garbage would be like a through way. You know, we're looking for a circle. We're looking for a court.

Oh, what do you got? Westport court. Okay. Oh, all three parts of that are not bad. Westport court. I got it. Here's, here's, here's, and here's the sidecar part. Call the sack. Nice.

Nice. I was called a sack kid too. That's upper middle. That's upper, upper middle class. They, you know, commute to basketball court in the cul-de-sac, the basketball, not the court, the net. The net, that was just for everyone. Dude, if you have my, because like I go back to my, my parents still live in this.

That's when you know you live in a good neighborhood. Yeah. They still live in the same house. They still, the same house and they live in the end of Colestack. Now the kids were like the gender, they're like, I don't know, they're like 14 now or whatever. They have like, we had them, we were all kids. And now the new kids have one. I'm like, fuck it. All right.

You still got, you know, we still got a couple of bucks down here. Yeah. I mean, when you, if it's a lacrosse, if it's a lacrosse goal or like a soccer net, you're like, all right, this is interesting. Yeah. Might be a little more money here for the basketball goal. That's standard, you know. We had that.

We had a basketball court in a driveway and my brother built the lacrosse net in the backyard. There you go. Yeah. I thought it was pretty sweet. But when I was home for the, during the pandemic, you know, I noticed there's like a new wave of kids in the neighborhood. And I looked down my parent's street and they had the basketball net, you know,

with like the sand in the bottom of it. They had that out on the street and they were all playing. And I was just like, same thing. You just look at me like, these kids are going to be all right one day. Can I, can I just say really quickly? One of the, one of the only positive things to come from this whole coronavirus situation is getting to repeatedly hear people from the East Coast

say the word pandemic. Pandemic. Pandemic. They hang out the A and then DEMIC is quick. It's hard. We got this pandemic. DEMIC comes with a whole posse. DEMIC.

I fucking love it. It's a long D. It's a long DEMIC. It's a fucking pain, DEMIC. What is god damn pain, DEMIC? That's a seven and a half inches of D right there. Pandemic. I was down, I spent the quarantine down in Wildwood, New Jersey,

which is like, everybody from Philadelphia goes to the Jersey Shore. Wildwood is the trashiest one. Okay. It's, it's, it's, they call it the Irish Riviera. It's just land of like fucking all. A lot of union dudes. It's all plumbers. It's all like, if you, if you're a plumber or a pipe fitter,

you can afford a shore house. A lot, a lot of Irish pubs on the beach. Oh yeah. Or if you had a good slip and fall kiss. Yeah. Or yeah. So we're down there. I'm gonna walk the boards with a cane.

And there's this woman, there's a woman who look, you know, like, she's just this big tattoos on the on, loud fucking bleach. And she goes, what the fuck is an antibody anyway? And I was like, does that, she goes, does that mean you got it? You don't got it? Who the fuck knows? And I was like, oh man, you just dropped that hardcore filly. Oh yeah.

I fall back in. No, Jesus Christ. Who the fuck even knows? I thought it was an episode of the wire. If we could dye his hair, we could put him under cover down in northeast. I, I, I can go see him real quick. That mid-Atlantic, that is such a mystery accent to me. Yeah.

That chili, Baltimore. The Baltimore's thicker than Philly. Oh, absolutely. The Baltimore, I know. It's trashier than Philly. What do you think's the trashiest? Of what? Of all the accents in America.

Oh, dude, the fuck it. You got Philly, you got Boston, Midwest. For me, it's always going to be the Gulf Coast accent. Yeah, which is what? It's like a sloppy sort of sudden kind of dirty. I like that, though. That's so charming. Like, like, like, like I said, I said it in a bit, but like a new,

a true New Orleans accent sounds like a fucking Brooklyn, like take like a fucking Brooklyn union delegate. All right. And give that guy a couple of volume. Slow him down a bit. And then, you know, once he's, and I was all fucked up and he just kind of talking, he's kind of done give a shit. That's sort of, that's a real New Orleans accent.

It's just sort of like a drunk guy from Bensonhurst. They don't fucking care. But then like to get the Gulf Coast is just a sloppy, a sort of high pitch night, like a nasally. I like it. Like, and then, like, and then, of course, you get to like part then, then throwing some Mississippi twang to it a little bit. And it's just sort of like a, it sounds like someone whose nose is broken

and they got a sinus infection at the same time. You know, but, but it's trashy and like a charming. Yeah, it's charming. Yeah, I always thought the Southern accent, because I lived in North Carolina for a little bit. I thought that even like the guys that were like the dirtiest of the dirty. When they talk, they still sounded educated to me. Oh yeah.

I don't know why. I, I, you're an idiot. I mean, I, I will trust just based off of like meeting appearances. I will trust someone with a shitty, trashy accent than someone with a refined. We also think it's what you know more. Like I'm more accustomed to hearing like, yeah, is what are you doing later? So I'm like, I innately trust this guy rather than like, what do you do?

Well, you know, like something more proper. I'm like, what are you up to? Yeah. I'm like, you sound like a lawyer or a doctor or someone has authority over me. Yeah. It's a cop. Yeah. I mean, because there's no, I don't know what like the trashy West Coast accent is.

It's probably like the surfer. Maybe I'm sure like out in the desert, Scott, something. It's, it's funny that accent when you hear people, there's a guy, I won't say his name, he's a Boston comic, but he, he is from Boston guy, but he has like the fucking, like a fucking turtle like California. Really? It's like, what? How the fuck did that possible?

How did that happen? Yeah. How did you grow up and fucking was or like Worcester? You know, like I was fucking pronounced Worcester, actually. But it's whatever. You go to Dunkin. Whatever. Yeah.

Oh man. But I'm sorry. No, I'm sorry. Um, so we got to the street end of the way. Another big one is what was the name? And I assume you said top of middle class neighbor. So I assume it's going to be nice. What's the name of the grocery store that your mom went to as a kid?

Shweggman's. Sounds like a knockoff Wegman. Shweggman's. Shweggman's. Shweggman's. That would fall into the garbage. It sounds garbage. Is it nice though?

Or is it? They were all similar. So it was, it was a Shweggman's. Sounds like a guy would have left. Anyone from Louisiana would be like, what do you mean Shweggman's sounds? Nick, that's Shweggman's. That ain't knockoff. That's good eating out there.

Shweggman's. So Shweggman's got good shit. So dude, Shweggman's literally sounds like something from SNL. We're going down to Shweggman's and it could be anything. You could have Shweggman's grocery store, Shweggman's go cart. Shweggman's mini golf, Shweggman's attorney at law, which is I think what that happened. No, then it then it became Shweggman.

Well, then it became a win Dixie. When Dixie's all right. Then it became a win Dixie. Now Dylan says no, he's a Southern guy. Oh, is it trashy win Dixie? Yeah, I remember when Dixie. Yeah, I never would ever step foot in a window. Well, then you would never shop for my family.

Well, then you would never be Mrs. Patton, you idiot. We're going to get you wine coolers, Dylan. How are you going to fucking load up the van? Publix with an X, you fuck. I don't like that either. Publix. Yeah, that's oh, I'm sorry. All class.

No, but yeah, so that at win Dixie. OK, and finally, the the the last one would be what's the local gas station? Now, just so you know, something that you'd want to stay away from would be like a Gulf, a luke oil. You know, you want you want something, especially being down there. If I if I know what this is, I'm going to fucking shit my pants. Actually do it.

It's it was a place called Time Saver. I don't know. Sounds all right, though. Because I was the gas company as a supplier wanted to shit my pants a little bit. I don't know. It was just Time Saver was a big thing in the South. It was just a red triangle to Time Saver. And it had and they had gas. No frills. I was it.

And there was a store attached to it. What? Oh, yeah, dude. That's what that's where I got my hot fries. That's where you mean they're handicaps. Oh, yeah, dude. That's really you're an handicaps. I was a handicaps guy. That's a first here. Hot fries, dude. If you've had them within the past three years, they're still stuck in your teeth,

for sure. Yeah, yeah. And there's a drink that I think is pretty much only in Louisiana. It's called Big Shot, which is which is basically just Fago 2.0. But predates Fago. What's Fago? That's like the in St. Clown Posse. It's a flavored fucking soup. It's basically high fructose corn.

Yeah, it's like sugar water. Yeah, a fan. Yeah, yeah. But even more extreme, I think. And they used to have pineapple pineapple. There was a there was a spot. Oh, my God. Oh, also pineapple fucking soda and handicaps and hot fries. Dude, the fact that that's garbage. People wonder why I needed new teeth last year.

Why do you have all fresh ones? These are new. All the years. Yeah, I got them last year. Damn, that's awesome. I just had to. I'd fucking tortured my fronts for decades. Dracking beer bottles. I want to press that, too. You get that dental insurance is a hoax.

It exists. I know. Bullshit. Yeah. But yeah, pineapple Big Shot, big fucking large bag of hot. They only sell them in the fall bags. You can't get maybe you could get the little one some places. But somebody was saying they pack them in there, too. Somebody handicapped us and skimped on like Fritos. I don't know if it was on Twitter or wherever that read it.

Somebody in one of the discussions for the show, they were talking about how there it's an inherently trashed snack because you can only buy them at gas stations. Yeah, they don't sell them at like the supermarket. Right. It's only at gas stations. Can you buy fucking? Was this big to you? Or was that was what the hot fries, the thing down there?

Hot fries fucking everywhere. Yeah, hot fries. But here's what's fucking insane about hot fries, because I agree. It's a trashy thing, but it's inspired by a cartoon. Right. A cartoon that is British. Now, I'm not saying British people aren't trash, but Andy Kapp. When you read that cartoon, you probably read them in whatever local accent. But in reality, it's like, all right, then.

Yeah, I'm going down to the store going to bed on the horses. His wife was always breaking his balls, right? Always breaking his balls. Classic wife, you know, that transcends culture wherever you're in. But no, yeah, and hot fries. And then, excuse me, I've seen this everywhere, but like rapper chips. Oh, the hot, the fuck are they called? That's the honey snacks, rap snacks, rap snacks.

That was the first place I saw those. Was that in the rap sense? They're a bit like still big rappers today are still doing. Oh, fuck, yeah, that'd be if you're a rapper and you get your. Well, now it's like a novelty thing. It's like, oh, I got rap snacks. What do you think about the trend that like rappers are now making, creating their own meals at McDonald's?

Because I've had. Is that for real? Yes. Well, they signed on. What's his name? It was one guy. What's it? No, there's another Travis Scott. Yeah, now somebody else is doing it. That's Travis Scott. Every time I'm like, that's not a country star. I know. Every time you hear that name, like, and that's not a country singer.

I know. That's a rapper. Yeah, I mean, the biggest one makes a pretty good quarter pounder. I'll try it. No, this is way around the griddle. I'm in. All right, I got one here. Let's see our since we're talking about, you know, languages and stuff. Does anyone in your family pronounce it library? No, I will say that because in the promo for our show,

I pronounce a library library. I get trashed every fucking week. But the New Orleans accent would would force you to say it like library. Library. Whenever people people get pissed at me when I get pissed at them for saying Nolans, because that's like the fucking some some fucking real estate agent from Kansas City invented that pronunciation. No, New Orleans is like a bastard.

The way to New Orleans, you would say, New Orleans, New Orleans, New Orleans. So you say you the new get to sink it in the middle. New Orleans, New Orleans, sunken just like the city itself, sink it. New Orleans, but the Nolans. No one says that shit. New Orleans, New Orleans. Yeah, down in the wall. And you got it's all in the name.

The New Orleans accent is in the fucking stuff. It's in the nasal. New Orleans. OK, nine. My my my my area code growing up was nine, eight, five. The way someone from Louisiana would say it is nine, eight, five. You hear that nine, eight, five. All the eyes are kind of also O's.

Nine, eight, five. Yeah, all in no nine, eight, five, dude. All right, I'm sorry. But yeah, no, no libraries. OK. You currently wear a robe. Fuck yeah. Yeah. You're a rope guy. Fuck yeah, dude. Robes are OK.

You gotta wear nothing. You gotta you gotta wear nothing underneath it. Depends on the robe. What kind of what are we talking? I mean, we're talking just a standard fucking target robe. But I mean, I'm the put on my robe fucking Air Force ones with no socks. Walk down the store, you know, with a mask on really to get orange juice. They don't know I'm not wearing anything underneath it.

Oh, that's trash. Walk it down. Yeah, you're going to the bodega in your role. I'm going to my Brooklyn. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're going to a Brooklyn bodega in your robe. Yeah, I only did this once. But I was still if you thought about it, I was like, I want I woke up.

I was hungover. I want an orange juice for some reason more than fucking anything. Oh, man, when you want an OJ. Yeah, and there's a spot, you know, at the end of my block of like fuck it. Robed Air Force ones, no socks. Put a mask on while it phone in my hands like that's good. Nobody seemed to give a shit. It was great.

That's insane. That might have been that that's like a poor card. That's the one that's a tough one to come back from. That's a D. Yeah, you're not going to pull that up by the end of the market period. I'll tell you that. Uh, OK, well, you take leftovers home from a restaurant. Fuck yeah.

That's perfectly normal. No, it's trash. What? Yeah. What? Yes. Trash, trash. What are you? Oh, hold on, hold on. 100% trash. You finish it. You finish it at the restaurant. You finish it or you don't finish it.

You're paying for an experience. You're not taking the food home with you. You're paying to be served. You're paying for an experience. For the listener out there. We never talked about this. I don't know what this guy's talking about. He's all fucking deep in.

Yeah, most of our listeners are trash. I'm also trash. I'm not. I'm trash. I say lie, bury. I am trash. Are you? I feel like you're a prince who's been lied to this whole time. You don't mean you don't take the leftovers. I'm trash. I insist. Does your wife let you get away with this?

Well, you can get away with it. If you don't finish the meal, she can't finish the meal. I'm a fucking grown man. I'm finishing my meal. That's crazy. I'm finishing the meal. I mean, that's a good point. Who's not? What grown man is going out to dinner

and not finishing a meal? I love everything about leftovers. I loved when my parents would go to dinner when I was a kid and somebody would babysit us and they would bring home leftovers. Oh, yeah. Oh, dude, big fan of the brought home leftovers. Oh, my God. Also, you're trying to recook a steak that some guy

drink and cook. I'm eating it right there. I'm eating it. I'm eating it out of my pants. Cold. I do not warm up leftovers. No, trash. It's trash. I'll take it. Then I get out of trash. Yeah, baby, you fucking know a guy.

I didn't know this. Yeah, it's trash, dude. Yeah, you think you know it seriously. I know your pain for an experience. You're like, oh, these two strips of steak are mine. I'm taking these with me. It's like, dude, either eat it or don't eat it next week. Join in next week with our host, H. Folie and Sean Pat.

Kevin Ryan rode his yacht back to back to the Palisades. Drove his yacht down the New Jersey Turnpike. Wait, I mean, I will say this. No leftovers. Five times out of 10 with leftovers in New York, I will give them to a homeless person. I'll give him to a hobo. Classic move.

I'll take it. I'll give him some money. I will see a hobo on the way. And even sometimes it's the hobo. Just like a lot of times just the guy who's sleeping, I'll just put it down where I think he's going to see it. You know, I got. Oh, so let's let's paint the street.

I make a map in front of me. No, don't do that. Dotted line with the next. Like a treasure map. It's like, hey, I think he's got a fun tip. No, I'll give it to someone. That's great. That's a class move. That is a class move.

All right, so let's paint this. Let's say you're out on a date. You're out on a first date with a woman. You know, your second date, early date. You go out to a steakhouse. Are you taking leftovers home with her there? That, that, that, I gotta say is, no. You don't.

Thank you. First date. Because you don't want to look like a fucking jerk. First date, you're going to have to dinner off the jump. You have drinks. No, no, then you take her out. All right, so second date. You're going out. You're still trying to impress this girl.

You're going to go, oh, can I get the half of the baked potato wrapped up? You ready? No, you're not. Do you want to take, you want to take that home with you? You want to take it home? You give her the offer. Yeah, do you want to take that home?

Hey, do you, and if she says no, then what do you say? Oh, well, I'll take it. Also, let me get some of his over there too. I think we should see other people. Yeah. Also, on a first date, you do not, you order less food than you know you're going to eat. You're not going to eat.

It doesn't matter on the order. It's what will you put yourself in a position to look like a fucking idiot? No, you don't. First date, you don't, you don't order enough to where there's going to be a leftover. Regardless, if there was leftovers, you would not ask. No, and I also, I also make it a point every time,

I've said this on other podcasts, I have always farted in front of the girl on the first date. That plays it really? On the first date. Let them know what they're getting. Let them know what they're getting. Like, there it is.

There's the, A, pheromones, B, I'm human. This guy's getting you from every angle. There it is. You know what I mean? And it's never like a, hey, excuse me, and just sit on, I sit on her lap, and I don't like, it's never at her. Hold my finger.

Yeah. I'll do it while I'm like helping a child. We're like, is that a burning building? Hold on. It was so sweet. He took the leftovers and brought them to a homeless guy, but then he farted in the guy's face. I think he shit himself in the cap.

While I'm opening the door, it's a heavy door. I apologize. Someone step on a duck? All right. Yeah. This is one that I, that we've talked about. I just like thought of it last night, because my girlfriend commented

that I do it and my dad does it. Are you, when you eat, are you a bite and then a sip guy, or do you eat and then drink your drink after? Definitely a bite and sipper. Yeah. See, that's garbage. 100%.

Me too. Is it? Wait, why? Because you're, it's, you're mixing like a podium. One because I do it, so I'm pretty sure it's fresh. If we're both doing it, it's not. But I thought, no, no, no, no, no, because I thought the whole idea,

like it's the Spanish thing with wine, like you supposed to, everything, it goes with. So like. Yeah, it's paired with it. It's not like, you know, it's not. Yeah, but not a fucking big shot. That may be a nice meltback. That's just to melt the ice caps

of chewed handicap off your molds. But not like, but like. Dude, it's like caulk when it gets in there. And are you also, are you also, some question, are you a multiple item on the fork guy? Piece of meatloaf, piece of mashed data, piece of, piece of. No. Really?

No, no. I'm like, dude, I am the most, I also had a mom that would just straight up after, one warning, stop chomping, which meant chomping is chewing with your mouth open. Okay. Right? One warning, and then it was a hand to the back of the head.

Nice. No, no. Tight chip. So like, I grew up like you chew with your fucking mouth. Saw their manners, yeah. Yeah, at the table, like we might have been fucking animals everywhere else, but at the table, it was. Tighten it up.

You belch at a table, that's two weeks of your life. Damn. Spent unconscious. I like it. You know what I mean? Like, get up. Like it was a thing, like if you're gonna belch, get up. Walk away, go into the kitchen, go into the other room.

Right? That shot, come on. But if you did it at the table, you were fucked. Wow. That's good, that's class, man. I also prefer to eat with utensils straight up. I just do. What do you mean?

I'm supposed to. I know, like even a sandwich, I just like getting shit on my face, and I'm just, put it down. I do the move. Class move. It is classy. I eat very classy.

I also get grossed out too. Will you cut a burger? No, I'll eat a burger, but I'll eat a burger, like a fuck, like little, I'm a little bite guy. I started to take the top of the sandwich or burger off, take the bun, eat that, like just knock that down. You saw me do it, saw me do this. Like a gerbil.

And then eat the rest of it with a fork and a knife. Like make an open face sandwich out of it. I mean, that's, I see, I say that that's classy. Okay. Yeah, I don't think it's trashy. I usually will make a coleslaw sandwich out of the top of the bun though. I mean, that's great.

That's trash. Dude, if you're going to a restaurant and turning one meal into two meals, that's fucking trash. Two sandwiches. I say that. I get some more mayo and, you know, what else is freaking you send over to the table? It's like the Native Americans,

you use every part of the buffalo, you use every part of sandwich. Are you calling Native Americans trash? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, you use it as together though. You use it together as the chef intended. If you're breaking it down and making second sammies, come on, that's fucking trash.

If I did everything like the chef intended, I would only want to eat one scallop on a mountain of cauliflower puree. I would not be having my handicaps with a big shot, I tell you that much. All right, we got a few more. This is a hot app, baby. It's a hot app.

Hot, hot temperature. Okay. Nice pause. Have you ever owned a hacky sack? Fuck yeah, multiple. Ever been to a Mighty Mighty Ballstones concert? No. I just laughed because I know a fellow comedian,

guy who writes for Kimmel, the Brian Cook, very funny guy, extremely funny guy. He goes to the Mighty Mighty Ballstones every single year. They're the house band, aren't they? New Year's Eve. No, I don't know. But he sees them every year on New Year's Eve in Boston. That's pretty cool.

But I think the Mighty Mighty Ballstones are the house band for Jimmy Kimmel, aren't they? No, it's the roots. Oh, for Kimmel? No, it's not Kimmel. No, no, no, no, no. Somebody. I don't know.

I think you're wrong. All right. Growing up, did any of your family's cars ever have a beaded seat cover? No, actually. No beaded seat covers? No beaded seat covers. I would have pegged the van for a beaded seat.

I know, you'd think, but now just never. I always looked at that as too exotic for the suburbs. I always pegged it for like a sheet. It's like trying to cover up a shitty seat. Like, instead of like really fixing it or cleaning it, you're like, I'll just throw these fucking wooded beads in there. What do I need beads for when you got duct tape?

Or any kind of tape, really? Do you currently have any skin tags or cysts? I don't, but I have had a skin tag removed before. You remove it yourself or go to the doctor? No, the doc dermatologist. He's not animal? I snip him off with a toenail clipper. Jesus Christ, dude.

I don't, I think that, you're a savage now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a different level. He doesn't matter. Savage. He is a different level of animal. I'm not paying a copay. And here all of a sudden you're going to put

perfectly good toenail clippers in my apartment. You're going to break my, you're going to break my stones over, fucking take it, or leftovers. Meanwhile, you're clipping your pieces of your body off. We're going to talk about that off the air. Yeah, that's going to be a meeting. That's an AYG meeting. If you were to go to your parents' house now,

I guess or even back then, was there ever hand lotion next to the sink? Like, really? That's classy. That's so classy. Is that classy? Yeah. Yeah.

We didn't see lotion in my house until at least 2005. You know how it, I know it's classy because growing up we never had it. It went to my mom's house last weekend. She has it now because they came into a little bit of cash so she's got it and she's spending, she's got lotion money. Okay, well, can I just say this then? That's a common question.

What if it's the same bottle from 1998? Now, hold on. Yeah. Kevin didn't explain that right. Kevin, I think, was looking for a nice pump. Yeah. Correct? Yeah.

You're talking about like, I got to flip it. Yeah, like a, like a, like a Jurgen's bottle just set. Yeah, now. Yeah. There's got to be some pump action on it. No, I'm talking pump. Yeah. We now have three, a set.

It's... Hey, why? We're having fun. It's a comedy podcast. It's hand soap, lotion and something else. What could the third thing be? Hot sauce. I don't know what the first thing to do.

The imitation butter. It's movie butter. You never know when you're going to end up in the bathroom and you go, oh, I got my toast with me. I was carrying this around. It's my bedroom toast. Yeah. Clip about your nails.

Oh man. I was a, I was a biter for a long fucking time. Nothing's better. But now I'm a clipper. Never in public? I judge. Oh, what the fuck? If I saw you clip, if I see you clipping your nails.

Oh, clipping my nails. Yeah. Oh, no, never in public. I only, only, only clip in the shower. Okay. There was no, not even in my... Wait a minute, wait a minute. Only in the shower.

Only in the shower. Wait, wait. What do you do with the clippings? They go down a fucking drain. I'm okay with that. Clipping your nails in the shower. They're softer. You're always supposed to do it after.

Exactly. I don't, I do it after I wash, you only do it after you wash your hair. Cause you're fucking soaping them up, you're cleaning them up. That's pretty good. That's pretty interesting. I'll say that.

Just follow up. This is a hot button issue here at fucking Baldi and the Fatso. Yeah. What you, what you... It's Fatso and the Baldi. Let's get Toppillers drinking that here. I mean, yeah. Top bunk.

Yeah, top bunk. I'm more of a power bottom. Do you brush your teeth in the shower? No. Tooth brushing is a separate... Yes, thank you. Cause I'm a big electric toothbrush guy. So I mean, I might just right there

tell you what the... It's pretty good. What brand is it? What brand? Oral B. Stick to my Oral B. Oral B. Except the Lancer's Oral B Sonicare.

Sonicare. I hear that quip is doing pretty good. Yeah. I need somebody that has a Sony. I swear to God. What's an anti-skip? What's going on, huh? I've never seen it before in my life,

but they had a Sony toothbrush. All you gotta do is grow up with an aunt who has halitosis. And I'll take care of them. And you will never not brush your fucking teeth in the jet top. Are you a mouthwash guy? Yes.

Listerine? Listerine the gold. Oh my God! Yeah. What the fuck? You're using original Listerine? Your fucking face, dude. Jesus, Jesus.

Dude, they're fucking hardcore. It was like paint thinner, actually. Remember that as a kid? I imagine you look like... I imagine, I just... I felt like the movie screen during the showing of The Sixth Sense when you were the entire audience

when they realized he'd been dead the whole time. Oh my God! Yeah, I used the... Yes. You don't hear that a lot these days. Because I like the fucking bitter stinging burn. You do, huh? Oh, I love that shit, dude.

That's some deep-seated issues you got going on right there. This guy's psycho. Yeah. And then I burn myself with a cigarette. And not all the time, sometimes. I will brush really quickly the inside of my cheeks so that when I do the mouthwash,

and I go, we go like that. Oh, yeah. And it burns in your fucking cheeks. Chilling those fucking... Psycho! Hot nose fucking germs down. Yes, please! What I do, I have to really wash them out

after you eat human flesh. You know what I mean? Cannibalism. It's true. It's true. Something that I've been doing more lately, but I've always done it, is I don't feel satisfied with brushing my teeth

until I make myself gag a little bit with the toothbrush. Nobody else do that? Because you gotta get your fucking... Back in the tongue. Your back of the tongue. I don't feel like I got it. No, dude, I get the tongue big time. You should do a tongue scraper.

But sometimes at backfires, if I eat late the night before and I do that in the morning, I'll fucking start throwing up. Shit, please! There you go. That's a perfectly timed drop right there. Jesus Christ.

Sometimes you say things and I don't know where to go. Buddy. I tell you what, fat kid's always funny one, man. Scary. Real quickly, I just wanna say, I just now, everything on that wall is in my apartment. Currently.

Currently. No, but Dracar Noir. Oh, also trash. My mom won't know. My mom, here's just- You said Dracar Noir? My mom, years ago, I was like, for Christmas and my birthday,

I was like, stop buying me things. I don't need shit. I travel a lot. Thank you so much. Give it to the, you know, don't buy it for her grandkids and my nieces. But every year, she gives me bags of travel toiletries. Just because I travel so much.

And a lot of Dracar Noir. And backspotty spray. Ooh. Anyway, so. Which can help in a pinch, maybe, but it's tough. I'm now officially a full Cologne guy, by the way. I started this year, Christmas, we went home to my girlfriend's place

and her aunt got me like the little- Really? The little- Cause you wouldn't guess by that shirt. I like to keep, you know- Boom. The duality of man, as they say. I like to stimulate your ol' factory senses

as much as your visual. But they got me like a little sample of all different kinds of Colognes and now I've set them on one. I'll just use WD-40. Gimpy Z, not late in the, late in the, late in the fourth. Fourth floor, that can't be Zedin' up. All right, have you ever taken a couch

or any other piece of furniture from the trash, Mr. Patton? Yeah. Table. Only, only hard, nothing soft. Okay. Table, chairs, desk, but never lamp- New York? Or was it?

New York, yeah. New York trash is tough trash, man. I know, yeah. How you get bed bugs, brother? Well, never beds. No, anything. You know how stupid that was, my response? Well, no.

But I didn't take beds. I'm not a fucking idiot. I don't take any bugs. I'm taking this nice stand and it's comfortable, but not a mattress. I did that with a chair. Taking his pair of jeans, whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I've rolled the dice on that.

I've gone, I've raw-dogged some furniture. You just made my skin crawl, dude. Speaking of raw-dog, what's the wiping situation? You go front to back, body, both of them, both. Yeah. Wait, you go in, you go top, you go top of the butt crack, down. I go front to back first, back to front, back to front,

second, front to back, third, three wipes, all. Really? Yeah. No standing up. Absolutely, standing up the whole time. Wait, so you poop and then stand up and then start your wiping process? Poop, stand up, but over the toilet.

Yeah. Like, spread- You can hover. Your joints can't handle. You got to lean. You can hover. I'm not a fucking catcher. What are you talking about?

No, yeah, yeah, like standing, like shit, reposition legs, stand kind of directly over the toilet, and wipe. In and out, in and out, in and out. Up, down, up. Okay, for a while, I don't know why, but I went inside. I went through, like I'm calling the signs. I go through the middle. Give them the high-heat curve ball here from Foley.

I rush, I wish I would have given the wipe, don't wipe. Yeah. Don't wipe. Always shaking off the wipe. Dry, baby. Don't believe it. I think what you're looking for is going, I'm a bidet, I'm a bidet guy.

Yeah. Which, by the way, I am. I don't have one, but- I've tried to handle, there's one here in studio. Oh, I fucking love a bidet. And I took a- Oh yeah, I've used this bidet. I took one here, and I didn't know,

I didn't know it just self-activates. Buddy, that thing starts going. It's blowing, the whole thing's happening down there. Nothing will get you up in the morning. Quist it, like hot blast of water to the outside. Yeah. Yeah. Or cold, depending on the temperature.

Or a finger. Or a finger. Well, the weekend went. We call that a middle-class bidet. Yeah. Blue Calabade. A blue Calabade. It's a Gatorade bottle with the fucking sports-

With a loop-de-loop straw on it. The sports straw. Whatever. The big, flexy one. Blast it. That's good. What about, what's your level of hot dog garbage? Okay, as far as making hot dogs.

How do you prepare a hot dog? I'm gonna say this right off the jump. I do feel that every hot dog is inferior to the Chicago-style hot dog. I do actually feel that way. I love a Chicago. And I come from New Orleans, where they got the Lucky Dog,

which is a massive fucking forearm of a hot dog. And it's great. But I love a shitty, disgusting, like cardiac arrest-inducing chili dog. Okay. But the Chicago hot dog, every time I go to Chicago, I usually eat nothing but Chicago hot dogs

for the first 24 hours. But that's a prepared thing. I'm talking about cooking. Oh, boil. Boils the trashiest or the fanciest? That's the way I go, no matter what. So call it what you will. I will, I don't microwave.

Put a name on it. I'll grill it if there's a grill situation, but if I'm just like making hot dogs for myself, boil in the water, in a pan, or a pot. I like a plump, juicy fucking. They are nice. Yeah. I mean, yeah, it's disgusting.

In your apartments, things like hot dog, it's tough. I get it. It's a tough situation. Then you go outside, find the nearest kid on one of those hover scooters, throw the hot dog water at him. Keep him on his fucking toes. Staying in your toes.

Yeah. If you're throwing hot dog water on people, you're fucking treacherous. Or at least fantasizing about it. Also true, that qualifies as well. You know what I do? I actually load up my bidet tank with the whole hot dog water.

Got a little flavor in there. I got a self-sustaining ecosystem over there. Forget about it. Kippy, what do you got? I think I only got one or two more here. Yeah, I just got one more left. Let's see. What did you call the game

where you knocked on someone's door and ran away? I mean, I can't say that. Oh, gosh, I didn't even think of that. Really? Yeah, that was fun. We didn't call it that. But that was a name. That was what it was called.

Oh, wow. But later, as those of us who were like, ah, you probably shouldn't say it, we tend to call it that, Ding Dong Ditch. Ding Dong Ditch is an acceptable answer. Or, which was fucking ridiculous. I don't know why, but we used to call it See the Witch. See the Witch?

I don't know. I've never heard that one. Because there's no one there, because witches don't exist. It was that sort of thing. It was like, oh, I'm going to See the Witches, bitch. You just knock on a door and run. He's called it Knock and Run.

Yeah, Knock and Run. I mean, yeah. It's really to the point. Right, right, you know. Yeah, y'all are going to Knock and Run now, Danny. Philadelphia was a little more pragmatic. You know what I mean? I'm going to knock it, and I'm going to run it.

You know all this, you had to be a little more poetic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, shit. A little more intellectual crowd, huh? Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. The weirdest one is Knock, Knock, Zoom, Zoom. What the fuck is that?

Fucking nerds, if you ask me. Yeah, there's. Is that from the inside of the locker? That's fucking nerd shit right there. Yeah, yeah. It was, fully still, fully still wants to be the tough guy from an 80s movie, so bad. Yeah, whatever, dork.

Yeah, give you a wedgie, nerd. Oh, we got to ask you these before we let you get out of here. I'll fucking, I'll ask me as many as you want. Number one, you open a bottle of ketchup. Where does it go? In the fridge or in the cabinet? Fridge, now here's a second backup to that question. Ask me how in the fridge?

How? Upside down. Yeah, he's a fucking gentleman. Yeah. Nobody's ever said the position of the bottle. I always thought that was kind of, if it gets even like half less than half way, you go up to your store upside down.

If you don't, to me, you're not, if you don't keep ketchup in the fucking fridge, I take that personally, even if I've never met you. And what about your syrup? What do you keep that after you've opened it? Syrup, I think, can stay outside. Keep it a little warm so it's not, it's not fucking just thick.

Yeah. And what do you think butter goes on the counter or in the fridge? In a goddamn fridge. Okay, conflicting views on that. All right, all right. No, yeah, I've recently turned, it's very rare that we turn our own opinions on here,

but I was turned to go butter off the counter as the classier thing. Off the counter? Butter on the counter, I'm sorry. Actually, I'm gonna give this a go. You might've just turned me on the butter. Well, because so it's got, but it's got to be salted butter,

so to preserve out. The problem is, if it's on just out, I'm gonna just take a spoon full of it. I know myself, I just love butter, and I would just go. That is a problem. If I have a problem with anything, it's fucking butter.

Butter's fantastic, I'm gonna give it a great. My girlfriend has an addiction, like an un-peanut butter. It's the most insane shit I've ever seen. She can't, it's an uncontrollable, like if there is a jar of peanut butter, she will inevitably just grab it and straight spoon them out.

Dude, big spoon? The jar, the jar. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, a big spoon of that, and some fucking Mott's apple juice back in the day. That was a fucking party in my house. Yeah, I mean, that's a party at anyone's house. Yeah, dude.

Got an apple juice and peanut butter jam, baby. Oh, man. Yeah, that's it for me. Final question. Let's do it. Growing up, was it normal for your parents to serve you milk with dinner? Absolutely not.

Wow. Okay. I will say though, it was normal for at least, I'm gonna say twice a month, my parents to just completely, both be too busy to cook dinner and just show up with like, grab bags full of like Taco Bell.

Or it was nine times out of 10 Taco Bell. Just be like, oh, mom and dad are coming home late and just come in two fucking bags. One bag full of bean burritos, one full of chicken soft tacos, go to town. So that's like the milk with dinner. That's trash. But still, I mean, if it's not like,

if it's, you know, if it's not fucking three days a week. No, it was twice a month, but it was always Taco Bell, which is why I still to this day, Taco Bell's a treat. Is your go-to? Okay. Arby's, Wendy's, Taco Bell. That's my top three. That's my three why.

I've never heard that. I'm talking about thinking you know a guy. My Mount Rushmore of fast food is Arby's, Taco Bell, Wendy's. Ooh, Chick-fil-A. Wow. No, I'm taking Chick-fil-A off. That's fucking what?

What are you, the Joker? I love Chick-fil-A. I love Chick-fil-A. Some people like to see the world burn. You know what I mean? Arby's number one. Not number one. No, number one is Taco Bell.

Number two is Wendy's. So Taco Bell. I don't think I've ever heard Arby's making a top three ever. Taco Bell is my Lincoln. All right. Arby's is what, Jefferson? Okay. I mean, I'm sorry.

Wendy's Jefferson. Yeah, Arby's is third, whoever third is. And then Chick-fil-A, but also like I get, I don't like their waffle fries. If I have to, if I have to like right now, choose fourth on the Mount Rushmore, I'm gonna go church's chicken, which is a rare, it's hard to find a church's chicken.

This guy's boncos. Hard to find a church's chicken. It is. God damn it, that shit's delicious. Wow, Sean Patton and the enigma wrapped in a riddle. A trash. Wrapped in a waffle fry. That's what I'm thinking.

Wrapped in a bean burrito. I'm going trash. I mean, growing, his parents went a tight ship, clearly. Got the Southern hospitality, Southern manners. You know, the fucking mailbox smashing. You got the, you got the fuck going to the, going to the bodega and his fucking robe. Yep.

I mean, he's got Arby's on his fucking Mount Rushmore fast food. What are we doing? I'll tell you what, but trash means you've lived. That's right. Oh baby, of course. Celebrate it here. And we'll continue to live.

Celebrate it. Yeah. Yeah. Hell yeah. Thank you so much for coming. I appreciate it. Anything you want the folks out there to know anything you got coming up, anything you want to plug, lay it on us.

You could hear my podcast. It's called five words. It's on the all things comedy network. And you can buy my albums called Scuttlebutt. It is on helium records, but anywhere you could buy albums. Cool. And by the way, before you leave, I have to tell you, because we talk about this all the time.

I wasn't even there. I hear it second hand. And it's one of the, it's like one of the funny stories. It was maybe a few years ago, you were doing, what was it, comedy juice or something like that one night. Here. And you were at Gotham. I got them.

It was like a weeknight. You were doing some showcase show. Were we downstairs? No, you were upstairs. The place was packed. It was hot. And you just did this perfect move. I think it was me and Chris Cotton.

If it wasn't him, it was me and Cotton standing in the back. And we both fell over laughing. But you did the move, because you know how it has like an open stage. You walked up, you waved like high, like you're going to the mic. And then you just kept going. Down the other side of the stage.

And you had fucking a huge boom. And then the second you got to the end of that stage, you got another boom. And we still talk about it for this day. We thought it was awesome. We love you, buddy. Thanks, man. That was that Gotham.

Yeah. Hope it reopens soon. Yeah. The fucking. I mean, the ceiling's tall enough to be fennelated. It's true. I didn't think of that. It was fucking built to have a goddamn hot air balloon competition.

Thank you guys for having me. Thanks, man. This was so much fun. Appreciate it. Kippy, what do you got to tell them? Just as always, make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes and to keep us in the top two hundo. Get on it.

Full episodes available on YouTube. You can subscribe there as well. And again, if you want to subscribe to Gas Digital Network, you can use promo code AYG. We make a couple of bucks. You save a couple of bucks. It's a win-win. So do it.

We appreciate all the support guys. Yes. We have a lot of special things coming up that you guys are going to love. Just to say it again, if you won the contest, the t-shirts have been ordered. We're going to get them out to you very soon and we love you. Peace.

Peace.