Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Smoking at Disney w/ Kippy & Foley!
Episode Date: February 13, 2025Are You Garbage is back with Kippy and Foley who return to Foleyville to talk about the dark ages, DTC products and smoking at Disney, it's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love yous...e guys. Come to a live show! AYG 2025 Tour Tickets: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored by: Shopify: Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/garbage Aura Frames: Exclusive $20-off Carver Mat at https://AuraFrames.com. Use code GARBAGE at checkout to save Truewerk: Check out the full lineup and get 15 percent off your first order at https://truewerk.com/garbage Helix: Go to https://helixsleep.com/garbage for 27% Off Sitewide + 2 Free Dream Pillows with Mattress Purchase + Free Bedding Bundle (2 Dream Pillows, Sheet Set, and Mattress Protector) with any Luxe or Elite Mattress Order Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Gang breaking news from here at Aunt Tooties, we are about to drop the RU Garbage Comedy Special.
Yeah, it's a special we shot on the Route 66 Tour. It includes comedy from each city,
a bunch of behind the scenes on the bus, I'm talking beers, heaters, someone shits their pants,
it's a whole thing. RU Garbage YouTube page, sign up, subscribe now, live from here,
February 25th, let's go. Yeah.
Welcome to another exciting edition of RU Garbage, the show where you find out if your
favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash.
Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is R U Garbage.
It's that little show we sit down your favorite comedians and we find that it's a group to be classy
Yeah, just a big old piece of trash. I'm your host Tate's Foley coming at y'all on a beautiful day
We're out back here at Tooties in the new edition. She's upstairs. Just got her brand new dress
Okay for the big route 66 premier. I
Told this dumb broad. We're not doing a premiere like that. Okay. She's trying to get John Hammers or plus one
She's dressing up as the you for the YouTube premier. It's virtual honey
Red carpet. It's the internet thoughts
It's ain't on Netflix. Say the Golden Globes, baby
It's no brick and mortar. It's ain't the Golden Globes, baby. There's no brick and mortar.
We're online passing savings on to you.
My co-host is coming at you from across the tables.
What we call a family episode.
Just the boys, the bozos and the homies.
He is the CEO of RU Garbage.
He is an international businessman and the executive producer of the feature documentary
Route 66.
Sure. Kevin James Ryan, everybody. What up? and the executive producer of the feature documentary, Route 66.
Sure.
Kevin James Ryan, everybody.
What up, gang?
Get my scarf and lower the lights.
What up, gang?
Shout out to you.
First of all, thanks for tuning in.
As always, please make sure you rate,
you subscribe on iTunes.
Full video available on YouTube.
Also full video available on Spotify.
And the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com.
Woo!
Slash RU Garbage.
You go over there, you get all that bonus content but that's not why.
That's not what we're here to talk about. There's been
rumblings you may or may not have heard. You may or may not
have seen a post. The Route 66 special. It's big, man. Coming
out. The boys are doing an RU Garbage special. Uh it
encompasses two weeks of us on the road. Uh all the cities
we've hit on the Route 66 tour. A tour special. Yeah,
it's a tour special. So there's a lot of stuff from the stage from Chicago, St. Louis, Tulsa,
Oklahoma City, Albuquerque, Flagstamp, Las Vegas, Los Angeles. A lot of behind the scenes
stuff. A lot of fucking on the bus, at the hotels. The boys hit a state fair in Oklahoma.
It's a real slice of Americana. Go to a couple of dive bars, meet with the locals, really
rubbing elbows with the salt of America, with the salt of the
earth people.
The biggest thing we've ever done.
Yeah.
Biggest production.
All this time.
A lot of money.
A lot of money, but we're not, we don't, this is, this is why
we fuck, listen, oh, let's pull the curtain back.
We're an honest pot over here. We're not spinning yarns. You know what I mean? Uh
We this was an idea we had and we wanted to do it wanted to make it look really cool and the best way to
Do it and the best way to do it was very expensive and decided to do it and pass the savings on to you
No could have gotten to a bidding war, sure.
Gone to different streamers and this and that.
Forget all that.
We're going right to the swords, right to the people.
YouTube, baby.
Nintendo is all over us.
Sony said no.
No, listen, we obviously kicked around some ideas of sending it to and and and stuff like that and what people want
But like that's genuinely not what
We make content for we make stuff that we think school and and you know
For the fucking army of garbage, and we really think you guys are gonna like this like we said
It's a lot of fucking just on stage good goddamn time. It's a good goddamn time. It's me and the big man fucking you know
God damn time. It's a good goddamn time. It's me and the big man fucking, you know
Bickering laughing fucking doing the whole not catching a lot of heaters This is we were stolen the heaters at this time. I was smoking a lot of heaters a lot of basketball shorts
Not as many as I should have brought with me a lot of top
Someone may or may not have shit themselves just throwing that out there and we may or may not have all that on camera
You know what I mean?
No, it's a good time. We really we really made it hoping you guys with you guys in mind thinking you guys would really enjoy it So it's on the youth. This is the biggest thing we've ever done to date
We need you guys to kind of rally behind it. Yeah, absolutely. It's on February 25th on our YouTube page
There'll be a link for the premiere
We're gonna be in the live chat the whole nine yards share with a friend the whole just fucking let's fucking ground grass roots
this thing up swell.
Yeah, toady on there with a nice tight cocktail. She's wearing
that dress JLo wore back in the day that green one man I used to
tug my little root at that. I don't know they might as well
that was like the Kardashian sex tape before that happened.
Sure showed up in that thing.
We all went to seventh grade going, did you see?
Todey's got hers in a double XL, so don't get too excited.
You'll be falling out of that.
I didn't ask you about that.
What is the below the line situation?
Am I an executive producer?
What's the bad one?
What's is producer?
What's the better producer? I want line producer. You got to put the cash up. That's the bad one? What's, what's, is producer, what's the better producer?
I want line producer.
You gotta put the cash up.
That's the bad one.
Is it?
Yeah.
Son of a bitch.
Give me, give me rank of uh, rank of producers on a-
Executives the best.
Okay, well I'm executive producer.
Okay.
I'm sexuative producer.
I don't know.
Uh, yeah you would be executive producer.
I got points on the back end?
What?
I don't know what you're doing.
I mean, we're taking a bath on this thing.
Our kids aren't going to be able to go to college.
How about a couple of snacks in the green room for the boys?
Sure, I'll get you a small bag of goldfish.
What do you got?
Executive producer.
Uh-huh.
Is the what? What's executive producer? Line producerhuh. He's the water. What's exactly producer best?
Executive producer is the best. Yes
So we're executive producers nice Luke is a producer. I'm a producer and a line producer
Why would you do cut up it chopped up your coke I eat a lot?
I take any drugs line producer handles the day to day of the filming the short deadline stuff like that
Executive producers the one responsible for financing the film that was me by the way that let's all get on this
We talking about okay?
5050 what's yours is mine what I debit don't make sense my well the debt's yours, too
Then my debit cards not working by the way. What's my thing?
Someone tell me my pit. Oh
Yeah, all jokes aside gang check it the fuck out. We're really proud of it very proud
I think it encompasses it shows a good a good version of what we do on the road and our live shows and
One of the cool things too is the fans are definitely very profiled in this the army of garbage is very
Is very much a part of as much a part of it as we are.
But you can see yourself on TV there.
Yeah, a lot of yous made the cut. I'm telling you.
YouTube.
YouTube. I put you in a cast, you can fucking cast right on the TV there.
Your chicks don't know the difference.
Your parents don't know the difference. Tell them you're on the news.
Tell them you're a movie star, baby. Let's go.
Yeah.
Can't wait.
Yes. So check it out, gang.
February 25th. Mm hmm.
But all that's neither here nor there, folks.
We got a gosh darn family episode on our hands.
As you know, when you sign up for the Patreon over there, www.patreon.com
don't use the app.
I don't want to get in that app, but don't sign up on the on the iTunes app.
They're taking 30 percent of everything. Don't do that.
You got a caveats in this one, don't you? Oh is don't do that. Well listen sure it is don't share that I
Got to tell you this business has ever changed
We're just a couple of couple idiots who call each other fat and bald and the next thing you know apples trying to wet their
Beak what a fucking winner so far. I gotta say I've been jammed up man. Yeah, man
I was a our pets heads are falling. I was at a fucking CVS a. Yeah, man. Where's it? Our pets' heads are falling off.
I was at a fucking CVS Minute Clinic this morning.
That's where I'm at.
That's where they tie me when you jerk off.
Ha ha ha ha.
Got the record.
Eight seconds, your pants were still on.
And go.
Got a free case of Prime for that.
Sure.
Out the door.
Yeah, it's been a-
They got that everywhere, by the way. They, it's they got
that everywhere by the way.
They got that in powder form
now. I know everything's in
powder form. It is line
producer. I saw they had
Narcan at CVS. I didn't know
they had that really. Yeah.
That's what a gummy bears
that should be free right now.
You know what? It's like 2899.
I don't know if you've ever
seen the ads where it's like
it's on you to carry Narcan and learn how to use it I'm like it's on them not to do the bad drugs
I don't think it's on me to revive them right get mad you do that if you knock them up
It's just fucking ruin the game. Yeah, yeah, that's 17 bucks. I gotta go out and fucking pay the handle for again
Uh-huh bad news. Yeah that milk. I always see them pouring pouring milk down down guys throats and are all fucked up
I think that's just that one video that was a challenge
Challenge it was an internet challenge to like milk like people like bent out. Yeah, he's is really not all freakouts
That's a new team in Kensington in Kensington, Philadelphia. That's fucked up. It's an amateur hockey team my skin's dry
Kensington Philadelphia that's fucked up today. It's an amateur hockey team. Well my skin's dry
Fuckin I had the flu. Yeah, the boys are down there fucking brutal. Mm-hmm crazy Rome has fallen
Goddamn stinks Wait to get to the spring summer. That's what that's when a year really I had a little glimpse of it today
I was walking my wife and the dog in the park for a nice little morning walk
Are you saw me down the beach what I don't you said you a little glimpse
Said you a little glimpse of it this this morning
Thought you meant the summer. No root 66. Ladies and gentlemen that comedy like that's not gonna be a root
See, I'm talking heavy-hitting punch line. I thought that was funny. I didn't get it. It was over your head comedically
I'm pretty sure we're going to cut it.
I got to do puppet shows for you.
You're really slipping.
What are you talking about?
Try to keep up.
My comedy is growing.
It's becoming more and more intellectual.
OK?
So try to keep up.
It's not the same fat guy stuff anymore.
What is it?
What's what?
Who's on first? I just did the summer bit. Which confused most of the room. All of the room theoretically. He got it. He's done say anything.
He doesn't want to piss off daddy. I got a little glimpse of summer in the park and you said, what'd you catch me on the beach today? Yeah, like, you know, would you see me on the beach? Yeah, like you know what you see me on the beach Like that'd be a little glimpse of summer because I'm gonna be like I envisioned you and yeah
Down to shore you're really playing with the different meta worlds. We got going on here sure more of a
This is like inception of a bad joke
You're bombing and multiple realities over here. Wake me up. So much someone throw him in a tub quick. I just think it's some timeline
I'm killing
If universes are infinite cut to a room full of people
You going down to short a summer what
I'm going down. What the hell are you talking about?
Cuz we're gonna be off the road first of all we're doing a showdown a short of summer yeah well I have to borgata yeah don't think I'm not hitting those fucking tables either I'm on a
heater the buffet table put a couple of these together I want a couple I'm gonna
have a lot of plates I want a couple of rooms down there okay cuz I got my
cousin why are you talking to me like I'm your goddamn fucking travel agent
executive producer you can get whatever rooms you want to get I gotta get it
myself I'm commute don't probably give it to get. I gotta get it myself?
I'm commuting.
They'll probably give it to me when I get down there.
Once they hear what happened at parks,
I'm gonna clean those fuckers out.
2500, how you doing?
You weren't there.
How are they gonna recover?
How are they ever gonna bounce back?
I got my cousin trying to push me to fucking stay there.
That, that, their place in fucking Margate or whatever. How are they ever gonna bounce back? I got my cousin trying to push me to fucking stay there that
That they're placing fucking Margate or whatever AC July 19th tickets on sale now. They're moving quick We're gonna be at the Borgata down a short me down a short down a short a summer
Couple a couple of local boys make good fuck this. Let's go to the shore. I need some dry air
I need a humidifier. I need some new sinuses.
So I didn't need dry air and a humidifier.
Look at my wife.
She's got more contraption.
I feel like I work in a fucking boiler room.
She's got humidifiers, dehumidifiers, fucking infusers, diffusers.
That shit's no good for you, they found out, those infusers.
Hey.
The oils.
Seed oils too are bad.
I don't know if you guys knew that.
Watch out.
You're the king of the I heard one thing
That's bad for you
So I'm gonna throw it in your face
And it'll make me seem like I'm more healthy you get off on go now watch out for the seed oils meanwhile
You're you're you cut them out your booth and cheese steaks. No, I'm not
chicken cheese steak
Let's quit screwing around this is you your family. Yeah, you're screwing around trying to tell you a little bit about me my skin's dry
I keep bringing that back. It's dry get some lotion. It don't it don't work
Get more lotion. I got the oils. I got all that. You should not use those oils. I hear it or bit
It's not seed oil. It's coconut oil
How do you think of coconut grows?? So dogs are chasing me around a goddamn
neighbor
I do want to switch over to tallow. I just don't know where to score it
Beef tallow, aren't you a tallow guy not on my skin make your eggies with it. Yeah, wait am I a tallow guy?
I thought you said you were now my wife will dabble with it. You're a bone marrow guy
I like a nice bone. I like I like getting drunk at one restaurant and eating their bone marrow cuz I feel fancy
Sipping your beer out of a straw I get a lid for this
Can I get a becks and a coffee cup, please
All right, let's quit screwing you quit screwing. I keep bringing up your dry. It's like that's like breaking news or something
Shut it need to some you got me got me thinking about the summer
I need a summer to get here quick you brought it up not me if I make it through the winter
It'll be a goddamn miracle
Feel like I'm on the Oregon Trail
Ever lose anybody on it
I lost everybody
My guys were getting lice left and right.
Before we left the general store I had like three nine year olds fucking missing.
Comanche's took them. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Tell me about my dry skin scalping themselves these kids don't get my humor
Speaking of which is a good movie on that. This is gonna be brutal
What a good movie on what now never mind? I'm gonna save it now. This is guys want to know hit me up No, good slide in the deer call me and beat up go. What was the movie running out of chat buddies?
I got no chap. I called this dickhead the other night fucking didn't pick up
What his girl or something like that
Yeah, man
I want to tell you you stink
You call a lot. I do you're my friend. I love it. That's not what he was that's not he was saying this morning
I know he talks I get an attitude also when I hang up
Sure, what are you doing?
Nothing, what are you doing? No, you're asking me. What the fuck are you doing nothing what are you doing no
you're asking me what the fuck are you doing I can't pick up my call that's what
you do you call and if it rings too long you answer with oh hey what's up what
what are you doing can't answer I called you twice that's what you do
you like your mother it's brutal brutal. Patty? Patty? Mama.
All right, whatever.
This, man, yeah, dude, this one,
this one never, this one never got into real real.
We started in Foleyville, we're gonna end in Foleyville.
Oh, God.
All right, let's get into it.
This one, as you guys know, when you saw,
I mean, this guy's got me off.
I'm deep in Foleyville. I'm covered in
cobwebs. I had a dream where a hamburger was eating me.
Should go to the diner. Diner in Foleyville. Delicious.
You're just everybody. You're the guy at the counter. You're
the waitress.
Mozzarella. Damn it.
Haha, you stink. Even in Foleyville, you stink.
I need some nootropics. I need some neurol links. That's what I want to get that narrow link you get multiple neuro links
They start fighting each other
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I was saying you need, I was talking today before you got in here
You need some sort of psychiatrist and I have one. I'm in therapy. I understand
You going well, you need one in a perfect world. I would have been a psychiatrist who?
Got embedded with you like those journalists for like and like live with a tribe for like what like Shutter Island
Yeah, and I just live with you and learn you and you don't know because there's no way you're completely honest
I can't watch that movie. Yeah, I am I tell him everything that's that is a complete lie
Listen the fact note first of all not what listener believes that I tell him what a dickhead you are
How I'm the coolest
He's got no hair. I
busted my chops I
Didn't like Shutter Island the way they turn that on him. Hey pinhead. This isn't your movie podcast shut up
Talk about movies from fucking 18 years ago. I thought he was a real FBI agent same
The pajamas should have thrown me off
It's a good film. I've never seen it really. I don't like sequels
Thought it was the one that came after departed though
See that's comedy everyone got that alright, I can hear them laughing at home. Not your what you see.
I told you that last week. Not your beach bullshit. You were pushing at the top of the program.
Top of the hour.
This just in, Pauly saw a movie. I did see a movie. It put you to sleep like this is putting me to sleep.
That's Route 66 gang. movie we need this Ted Turner said Tina Turner said no she passed everyone pissed on this what's kippy gotta do with it? nothing on that It's a movie
Song I'm sure they made a movie what's love got to do with it. That's what it was called
What her biopic was what's love got to do with it biopic biopic? That's what biopic?
Got you nor a link I am back vaginal mesh
Is that an actual net I
Think it is it's mesh. It's like a mesh lining like a wall. Yeah, let's play. We got a pivot
This is that's route 66 gang zero mention of vaginal message
66
Big man Imaginal 66 Yeah, all right and also a little bit of news update the boys are circling the wagon on a on a conversion van
Yes, just trying to get that's a foregone conclusion. We're pulling the trigger. We're pulling the trigger
I'm just trying to get the loan to make sense and
The accountant is giving me big pushback.
Can I ask what bank we talking to?
He's talking to someone for us.
Touchdown Bank?
TD Bank?
No, he's going credit union, but then the credit...
Talk to my guy over at Navy Federal, get us in there.
Getting a pontoon boat.
One of those PBR jugs.
From NAMM. We ended up with an old aircraft carrier. I'd be sick
What did he do it all them ships down at the Philadelphia Navy Yard anyway like museums and shit, and then they sink them
Do they I don't know I used I remember in the 80s driving by that be like man
Even as a little kid that was the ones we weren't using
You don't know don't read the Philadelphia Navy, our arms are still there.
But back in the day, they had a lineup of fucking frigates
and fucking destroyers and all this kind of stuff
that we weren't even using.
I think some of it's still there.
Get the fire, you throw a coat of paint on those things,
start kicking ass.
I remember this little kid being like, man.
I'll be the size of one of those ones.
Gibby's back.
You think?
Damn.
What's the what's the Newman line?
That whatever? No, the one though, and they're I'm sorry, they're on the set of the Merv Griffin show. That stuff
stinks worse than that suit.
No, that story's done worse than that suit or whatever
Look at a laugh track
All right, are we can we get into the friggin questions here, guy? It's a family episode. Yeah, we got to cut me off.
I'm not cutting you off.
Me off. That's not broadcast.
That's not what a good executive producer should do.
Not an executive producer of the program of this show.
Yeah. What would you call your do?
You're the host. Yeah.
That's about it. I get lunch.
When are Luke gets the yeah, Luke gets a lunch on my phone.
I do the coffees. I get the Starbucks order in in the way that's just cuz you like your eggies
and when you get them you don't tell anybody you're getting them yeah I oh I
what do you want from Starbucks yeah but you don't say I'm getting egg bites well
just assume you go I'm good to coffee anybody want anything and then 58 orders
of egg bites roll in no wonder there's a goddamn egg shortage
He's eating them all I Looked over it looks like you want a prize it looks like you want a contest over there
I like my egg bites. I can't just have coffee straight. I gotta have a little food with it. It's like an ibuprofen
That's like just what that's just that's just being fat. No. Yeah, I can't have water. I get to with it I get
Being fat. No. Yeah, I can't have water. I get pizza with it. I get pizza and water. Never. Oh, man. That's a production
assistant role. What is it? Coffee. Getting coffees. Nice.
Yeah, production assistant and host. You're really working up
the ladder. This guy's playing both sides of the ball over
here. Script supervisor. You get a script? I had some my uncle
asked me how much is scripted. I go we would have to be what this show I
go we'd have to be the greatest actors of all time to make it seem like that nor that
normal natural and bad and good at the same time like what do you think I'm doing you
we studied Shakespeare I studied Shakespeare yeah it shows Thank you do bomb or not the bomb
Yeah, what a good time over there asshole, I'm having fun that good me too
Love you, buddy as a producer. That's pretty good. Call me tonight. What are you doing tonight? By the way?
I'm actually I'm working on an episode really yeah of what this show
Could you we stink no can I help
you I'm trying to get to the fucking program let's go what a fun one all
right what do you got me first question yeah I got nothing ah you got the laptop
the laptop I thought I we've I thought it was laptop because scientists used it.
That's what I thought. A laptop.
I still say laptop, but no, I say it quick enough that no one.
Desktop. Laptop. That's a laptop.
When they get rid of those towers, that blew my mind.
Where's the computer? I do.
I thought just the screen.
I ordered one at a Best Buy catalog.
It came in the mail
And I was it was on there. It was on our coffee table at that house at that apartment. I lived it in the Heights
Yeah, I was flipping through like a hard like a this isn't that long ago
Oh, no, you bought a computer out of a magazine uh-huh, and I was like it was 199
I went online, but it did the magnitude of the catalog the little pamphlet sold me you know what I mean
Desktop or laptop it was a desktop, but the tower was like this bit
You know what I mean a little banger, and I was like I might as well be
Bill Gates with this thing all you other idiots that around have a lot
I got high speed power
And I didn't have internet so I had to get a wireless router for the desktop and that
Never worked. It couldn't make it do those hard priests those pre-war walls. It's all lead-paint
And I had a horrible signal I couldn't I'll gotta get a booster for that stuff
This was this was I mean, I got a booster at my house
Because the signal wasn't going through your only thing that ever worked out with technology where I handled it
Which I the broad kind of handled it, but so you didn't do it
I didn't hook it up
They didn't do anything I bought it and we brought it to the house and I'm like there's no way this shit's gonna work
fucking
Yeah, little relay a little daisy chain cooking. Uh-huh. I had to throw one of my videos on to test it out.
You got the coffles on, bitch.
Babe, let me see if it gets, sure, it'll play your stupid YouTube videos, but can it handle
the ultimate 8K 3D ultra suck down?
A little trip to Anelville.
The goddamn family program we're doing here. I apologize.
You're all of a sudden talking about Peepees and WooWoo's.
You know what I mean?
Keep the WooWoo's.
Goddamn.
Peepees for me.
Can I help you?
I do sometimes think that like, you know, early, even in like the 80s, right? Or 70s, whatever.
Now you only have to go back to like the 1400s.
But like, think about a guy in the 1200s, whatever, 1600s, he's probably seen nine wangs his whole life.
Probably saw his dad's, his brother's, the neighbor's, somebody at like the doctor or
something like that.
Think about how many hogs you've seen.
It's gotta be in the bajillions.
Millions.
Yeah.
So it's like, isn't that insane?
Like our brains were never conditioned to see that many hogs bigger than ours should have blinders on you know, they keep my eye on my own paper
Everybody's got their own test. Like a big man
All right, you're taking us down into you know
Dirty talk all of a sudden you start talking about dark ages
wieners
Which I didn't realize they were that long what the dark age are
you by the way the dark ages I thought it was like a couple of years hundreds
hundreds yeah what this is nuts
and I know I'm wrong I thought it was like 200 years.
It's a thousand years.
A thousand?
So what?
500 to 1500.
But apart from the long time now that I'm thinking about this and I'm about to say it
out loud, I know it's wrong.
But the sun was out, right?
Why is it the dark age?
I don't really know.
It was cold.
Cold?
It was cold.
Is that true?
No, it was just when...
No, it was cold. It that true? No, it's just when. No, it was cold.
It was also the coldest period of app.
It was the coldest period after the last ice age.
It was freezing.
Couldn't get a bowl of soup.
Talk about hunkering.
Talk about shutting it down.
It's dark.
I picture like Alaska.
That's a lot of DVDs. Yeah.
Yeah, that's right. I picture like Alaska in the summer. Must have had a lot of DVDs. Yeah. I picture everybody went to sleep.
But I thought it was like 200 years.
Wait, 500 AD?
Uh, yeah.
So you're telling me 500 years after the birth of Christ,
Europe just shut down?
Yeah.
Nobody knows what was going on.
Give me a rundown of what the Dark Ages are, please.
Well, it's marked by economic, intellectual, and cultural decline.
What's that?
So they got worse.
Yes, because everyone was just warring at the time.
Warring, like fighting wars.
Yeah.
What do you mean, general?
Who says that?
Hey, Bozo, I'll try to church it up.
Hey, Fortnite, shut up.
This is pre the Renaissance, right?
Yeah, the Renaissance came after.
Before the Medici got on the scene.
Yeah. With all that cash.
Big banks.
Woo-wee!
You know the Medici?
I pronounce Medici, but yeah.
I don't know what the proper pronunciation is.
I believe it's the Medici family.
Is it? Yeah.
Yeah, Medici.
That makes scooters, right?
That's something you get at the Minute Clinic.
Hello.
All right, let's quick just quit jerk jerking around here I was ready for more dark ages talk to be honest with you. I for sure thought it was like another
Thousand years I thought it was like a big eclipse or something the Renaissance starts around
1300 so there's a little overlap between so that's them coming out of the redness is them coming out of the dark ages
Yes, what was up for what was. Yeah. What was going on?
What was everybody doing during the dark ages?
Yeah.
Fighting fighting.
Yeah.
But I thought we lost a bunch of records and stuff like that.
Oh, yeah.
Because everyone was fighting and burn everything.
Where's my Pearl Jam album?
That's crazy.
That's not that long ago.
I mean, it ain't last week. But in the grand
scheme of things that ain't that long ago. I mean, how big are we going grand scheme
of things? As long as the planet's been spinning. Okay, sure. Millions of years. Universe been
around 6 billion, something like that. Okay, maybe more It's a lot
That's an in quantifiable in anybody's head. So it doesn't really mean anything
Yes, it does mean something to me. What's it mean to you the intelligentsia of the day?
Carl Sagan and the likes really fucking metadici or would you miss pronounced it a little metadici on my lip
And a little neospore for a little herpes
simplex to or whatever
That's we gotta get a big big we gotta get into big pharma
That's what you really gotta sell out getting a big party get a bell trick get me they probably cut us like fucking
Crazy check a month. We just like every episode we start dabbing it on your herpes
I got a bag in a log. I got a long finger just fucking hey you have a buddy who has herpes
Help them out help a brother out. I'll be gross
Use Valtryek
All right, that's not paid. That'd be great if that was paid. We just seamlessly slipped it in that was paid advertising pretty good
All right listen a big tobacco is out there. Give me a call. Can you do that on YouTube?
Probably I don't think I don't think they're allowed to they're allowed. They're not a lot of guys at all. No kidding. Yeah, huh?
They're not print ads any like that. No, that stops in the late 90s. I that's all word of mouth boards. Everything's pretty good
You got a product that speaks for itself
I think of the millions Pepsi's dumping in advertising every year
Newport ain't spending a dime
And they keep you coming back
All right, let's try again
This one's just funny. This is from loggerhead o tool ever call shotgun while being taken into police custody
I call shot a
Man, that's that's a good time. I'm making a cop laugh is pretty cops gotta laugh at that
There's I mean if your cop ain't laughing at that. She just killed three people
They're throwing the even in a little leaven. He changes every situation
They're thought if they if that's if they don't laugh that cops testifying and he's throwing though
They're throwing the book at you that you're going to a paint. He's making jokes your honor when I was booking them
Yeah, that's a good time that isn isn't all right. All right. This one's from Jesse. This is
a $10 hoagie. Never had one read. Is it garbage if you refer to something that is transparent
as see-through? That's the dumbest way to say that. And I for sure say see-through for
everything. I don't I think I've only said transparent in science class when I learned
what transparent was transparent and translucent
Translucents kind of right. Yeah, you feel like a smart guy. Yeah, like like a worm would be translucent a worm like insects
I believe gummy worm. No like insects. I believe are described like wax paper would be translucent
I'm not saying that's not a possibility
I believe the term is just translucent or not only for jellyfish or translucent
There you go.
You got on board with me instead of fucking shutting me down.
Well, she family loved him.
What? Give me the difference between translucent and trans gender.
You know how I know the Medici?
It's from one of my favorite poems
by Edwin Rames, DG Medici.
Miniver Chivi is the name of the poem. Edwin Rommers DG Medici Miniver Chivi, it's the name of the poem Edwin Robinson
Transparent objects allow light to pass through completely while translucent objects allow some light to pass through
But objects on the other side are not as clear a little cloudy. That's yeah. Yeah, that's I dude
also known as a beat bag
the hell is
That in class Also known as a beat bag the hell is
in class Speaking uh, I that reminds me the first time I don't know if you remember this is the I remember the first two-way mirror
I ever saw
Was it the rich barrel wah-wah and it because then the office had the two-way mirror out to the floor
It blew my hey Carl fat
out to the floor. It blew my car. Oh, fat. Oh, Carl.
He's doing it again.
No, fat ass. I'm just
mustard. Oh,
Carl, that kid's back.
And I remember I remember the way the light you could look and kind of see
through, obviously.
And I had the money. Yeah.
And I'd be fucking I'd like kind of slowly walk by like this to see if anybody would get real cool
I do this and get real close fucking chibi. I'd be what you got back there. Oh little fucking Hooters Hooters calendar
This is the 90s got a calculator
Yeah, I was that was that was like and whenever I walked in it was like I was playing a game of
I don't know. Can you see me? Can you not say am I looking at you? Are you looking at me?
I'm a cat and mouse. Mine was in drug stores in in pharmacies in the front where the manager's office is. It was like a tower.
Where the manager's office is it was like a tower and it had the see-through the double mirror
And then it also had that big
Like concave convex sure check your six. Yeah
I I was like they were watching me
I don't know why uh-huh fucking creeps. Yeah, I used to have a little i'm a child the one at the supermarket had
Uh a little like they had the front desk and then the little office right behind that and that had the door that was always locked.
That's where they kept the safe and the money or whatever.
Cash always locked and the heaters too. Probably now they
were floating around floating.
Okay.
Um and they had that little two-way and you guys whatever
16 hormones were cooking and the hot manager
was like you have to go in there to count your till.
Yeah.
She'd go in there alone and she'd get locked the door.
I'd be in there fucking fighting off this.
It's like every one of my fantasies.
The doors locked someone might be peeping at the two-way mirror. I can see out they can't see in
You know a cash line around avocados are going up
Is the can can sale still going on can't but talk about true work
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show back to the show. Have I asked you this have you I don't
know hit me. Have you ever taken us? Have you ever asked a
girl out and got shot down like straight up? Have I asked you
this? No, that was never. You never put yourself out there
like that technology had changed
so like you didn't have to like ask out
in person like there was like text
like you there was other ways to build
a relationship and rapport
rather than just going like
like you're bumpy or you're at
you're at I bumped into her at the CVS
you wanna go out Tuesday night? It was more like
hanging and
what are you doing? So and so like we're having people over it was more communal. Yeah, gotcha
I mean were you going out on dates at the top like
In like seventh and eighth grade I had I had to do that a couple of times
Yeah, I would step I seven and eighth grade there was already cell phone ish or there was no well instant mess like that's where the
Relationships were breeding these you dish you had a walk-in chat rooms
You had a walk-in take a shot and man's swinging a man
You and your boys would talk about it for like a month. It's a three two pitch boom. He's hitting ahead
Yeah, let's get a get a get a get a plan together. Hey you want to go to the mall on Saturday
No, I don't think so. Okay, cool
Yeah me either heard a burn down anyway, bitch
Yeah, now we never yeah, we would ask to like skate would like that the roller skating thing that would be like
Oh, you want to skate? I don't think I ever got shut down but like
Only you ever skated with like maybe one or two girls
I never got shot down at a dance
As in some broader she wanted to take a turn on the rug
At the Catholic school dance CYO dances we used to do yeah, we didn't they were they were phased out
I'm at my brother going to them and me being like you're a fucking porn star
That was for like that was like boogie nights to me
Fuck 13 year old, but they were putting cologne on and going to go into
the cologne chains sweaters and a pay to get it was like three dollars to get a
lot of a lot of this might as well be studio 54 it was dark and darker shit in
there you were either making a move or you were fighting the Italian kids out
front it was crazy I can kids at mustaches and shit. Hey Luigi, it's like I'm watch Golden Girls
All right, let's see Charlie's is still open. Are you garbage if growing up?
You had a small unsuspecting kitchen knife in your home and a parent constantly tells you be careful with that one
That's the sharpest knife in the house. That's dead on dude
That is so good. That's the real one right there.
Uh huh. Big cat one will get you. You gotta be aware. It's not the big one. It's that
one. It was one sharp knife. Yeah, a little paring knife or something. Everything else
you'd slice your finger off. Sure. Dull as **** Uh huh. Woo! Yeah, that's a good, that's
like a very dirt bag paranoid anxiety, anxiety-ridden warning there.
For sure.
Be careful with that one.
That's the sharp one.
Uh-huh.
Get out of there.
That'll get you.
What are you doing in the steak knife drawer?
Mm-hmm.
Which, by the way, my mom's got the same set of steak knives and cutlery.
Kitchen knives, steak knives and kitchen knives, I mean, they gotta be older than me.
They're wooden-handled. The finish is off.
These things are getting waterlogged.
I love those though.
They're great. They're cutco.
I mean, they might be a pyramid scheme, but they put together,
they used to put together a hell of a product.
That's just, you put them in the dishwasher
for all those years, it takes the fucking lacquer out of it.
Oh, dude, it looks like 2x4 wood.
That's how weathered it is.
It looks like it's been submerged. It looks like they pulled it out, they fished it out of it. Oh, dude, it looks like two by four wood. That's how that's how weathered it.
It looks like it's been submerged.
It looks like they pulled it out.
They fished it out of these river.
It's old stuff.
The little knots have like the little like rivets
have a little bit of rust on them, run into the wood.
Yeah, those things are I didn't know when I was a kid.
I didn't know what I was doing.
I remember cutting shit with the fucking bread knife.
Like, you know, the serrated edge.
Oh, that's all I used exclusively till I got to be honest with you as you know
I'm not I was never very cultured
I mean I was I was I just used my fork for most of the stuff to just you know
Get some torque on that thing and say no you get good meat
Yeah, but I would have never before I never we never had meals where you would get us that I remember I'd be like
Oh, here's a steak. Oh, we did
nice Sunday dinner London broil
Big potato wrapped in a fucking tin foil
Never I mean, I think I just always used a fucking
Butter knife told Patty that's what I want for my birthday. I don't know if I mentioned this to you a London broil
No, I want to make I wanted, I wanted to cook a fucking nice dinner
with like fucking baked potato wrapped in tin foil in the oven.
Doesn't sound that nice.
I mean, if that's the first thing you're listening to.
That's one of the sides.
Coleslaw.
What kind?
So what's the entree?
Meatloaf.
I want a meatloaf.
And who's all at this dinner?
Just you?
Now get out
Now get your stupid is out of my face. Don't come back for three hours
No me herskin this you to me her DeBroad and
And and you know my brother and the kids or whatever and you know the rest of the family if they want to come over
That's just I mean that was like such a loose list of people man
It's just me him and whoever else wants to go to the immediate squad. I'm asking don't get no the immediate
My family my name wasn't on that list. That's I feel like I'm pretty fucking it
I should be at least he's like I'm gonna produce the dinner some and I want her to make one of those
Buttercream cakes that she used to make back in a day. You're trying to get her back in action
Yeah, everybody involved.
And green beans with a chocolate sauce.
No, green beans with, do you ever do this?
Green beans with bread crumbs with Italian seasoning on them.
No.
They used to be popping back in the day.
My brother just made them.
That's what made me think of it.
That makes sense.
Oh, so good.
We used to do, man, I love that. I guess they
were green giant that can green beans that are like waterlogged.
I love those. And you didn't like them. Oh, I loved them to
the point where like, that was the only vegetable for a solid
seven. What about wax beans? Did you wax beans? My mom? My mom
didn't like beans. So we never I didn't have no there's green
there green beans, but they're white. I don't know why they're in a train loose in no way. It looks like a worm
Jellyfish no I uh no fight man. I love love loved a waterlogged friggin green bean
I'm with you. Yeah, they're good as shit a little pat of butter on them
In a cereal bowl and on the table good night that my my grandma Babs
rest in peace made some sort of hooch in the tub no she made some sort of
creamy the corn she put out I don't know if there was sugar in corn I don't know
what I can't imagine you eating cream let me get I don't think it was cream
I don't even know what cream corn is. Let me get eyes on cream corn. It's old school
No, not cream corn not not cream corn though is something and it was in a little bit of something
Man going over there
That was all right
Hit me with a crescent roll and I'm out. Mm hmm. This
one's from Mid Atlantic Dirt
Bag. Great name. I took me so
long to learn what the Mid
Atlantic was too. It's East
Coast. The Mid Atlantic. Yeah,
the. Boston to Baltimore. I
don't think Mid Atlantic's
Boston, is it? No. I think it's
like Jersey to North Carolina.
I think it's Mid Atlantic. Like
it's the middle of the country.
Right?
Shout out to it.
What do you got there, Larkus Patarkus?
I'm putting a kid to work this episode.
Wi-Fi is so slow.
Sorry.
I like to see it.
Yeah, now you want faster Wi-Fi.
New Jersey, Maryland.
That what your friend said?
New Jersey, Maryland, Delaware, West Virginia, District
of Columbia, and Pennsylvania.
Yeah.
Ah, very nice.
The Mid-Atlantic accent.
It's a good group of states.
Not bad.
Whatever.
Mid-Atlantic dirt bag, $10, homie.
Couple months in, never had one red.
Is it garbage if you pour your salsa into the jar's lid and scoop out the salsa with
chips from the lid?
Whoa.
That's pretty good. Saving the kn lid. Whoa. That's pretty good.
Saving the knuckles.
Yeah, right?
Can you get a better, you can come in from the side
rather than the top and try to hook it up
like you're moving a couch down a flight of stairs.
I respect the move.
But I feel, I feel that a pour would be better then.
You take it out and you put a little on the lid,
put the jar down get your
chip load it up I
Don't hate it keep your thingies clean
But at that point I go just grab a bowl or a plate or something
You know if you're doing that if you're having the forethought sure just roll with they gotta wash that shit
Lid you just put that back on throw it right in the back of the fridge
Yeah, but I mean I sure younger me would have done that.
I'm at the point now where I'm like, I'll I have a wife who
will do the dishes.
I'm kidding.
I I'll I'll get a bowl out.
They enjoy it like a gentleman.
Did you have a timeline on your salsa?
No, so it could have been in there for a while like the
half jar in the back where
the tomatoes crusted around the
rim. You're still going in on
that. I know I'm not going in.
It's it's in there. I'm probably
not going in on it. Okay. I
would just go. I don't know how
long that's been. I'm going to
grab a new one. Okay. There's
also like because I have that
with relish that goes. Sure. I
mean if I lose focus on relish I'm out. relish in your fridge that off. We eat chips or something. It's too nice
Cold brew
Yeah, I got relish like that. I you don't have relish. You don't relish in your refrigerator. No
American you don't have a thing around
in your refrigerator? No. American. You don't have a thing of relish. What have I eaten? Hot dogs. How many hot dogs? I would argue, buddy, I would argue. The last time you went
and got out, you bought hot dogs at the store. I'm not making hot dogs at the house. Really?
Not every night. Enough to have relish on hand. No kidding. You just went, oh, when
you make hot dogs, obviously. That one time you bought hot dogs,
you get a thing of relish, a fresh thing of relish.
I don't know when the last time you think I bought,
I am having in-house hot dogs.
No kidding.
That's also like insane because then it's,
you're like, I'm gonna buy it for two,
I'm gonna buy a jar for two spoonfuls.
You just go with whatever else you got.
Oh, hot sauce or something, Sriracha.
That's one thing I wanted to ask you.
That was on my list of questions I had recently.
Oh yeah?
Do you think, has there ever been a bottle of Sriracha
in Patty's refrigerator? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha bottle of sriracha. I don't think I would bet my mom don't even know what it is.
Yeah, Patty wouldn't know what sriracha was.
She don't go down the international aisle, you know what I mean? Not going down the ethnic
food aisle.
La Choy?
Hey, shoot it in the looks of me. No way.
My dad, they actually did. They loved it.
Sriracha?
No, but they would do like a stir-fry every once in a while
That shit got big in the 80s. Yeah, I remember my was big
I was I remember my dad buying a walk and I remember I
There goes the country here goddamn veteran
Fucking bending the knee
What we fought for free fucking you know by a walk buy a lock? Nah, he loved it, man.
And he used way too much oil.
It was, and I don't know what kind of oil he used.
He's in like a bocce ship.
Oh!
Smoke alarms going off and shit.
Yeah, he loved that shit.
He would love a stir fry.
He loved the water chestnuts, the La Choy water chestnuts.
I think that's the company's name, La Choy.
I think, yeah, L.A. Choy. Oh, they always look so good.
It was so 80, it was like 80 single lady
that worked at our office.
Trying to be, yeah.
You know, look at me.
Loved it.
I just learned about this.
So good, that and the crispy noodles,
the La Choy crispy noodles.
The only hot sauce that ever really cracked
was Tabasco, that was it,
and that was strictly forco. That was it.
That was strictly for my stepdad's eggs.
Was Tabasco.
That was, and I mean-
That's real stepdad.
It must have been in there for 15, same bottle, 15 years.
Yeah, there was no hot sauce, I don't think, in our house.
My stepdad, I guess one of his boys introduced them to Franks.
And that hit probably when I was in early college
Late high school there a bottle of Frank's came in yeah
We got it now, and I was like I does a first hot sauce
I like really had and trials and us this great, and then they started that Frank's I put that shit on everything that hit
So I then was in college. I became a big Frank's guide sriracha then as well moseyed in but
in college I became a big Frank's guy. Sriracha then as well, moseyed in but... Sriracha was way too much for me to handle at first.
That shit was a spicy. I remember someone...
Sineke Ketchup. I remember we did a show...
Fuck that. This is so uncouth. I did a show where they fed you it was that a it was at a I like a ray
It was like dinner in a show and the chef was pretty good
It was good load him up on pasta before you bring out the comedic stylings of Kevin Ryan
Did they gave you the best baby gave me they gave me twice baked sriracha potatoes?
Dude, I had never had sriracha. This is I'm probably 20
22 23 24
Oh
I'm up there. I remember I was wearing a sweater as we're in a polo sweater
I ate these sriracha potatoes and then went right on stage
I was wet. I remember my neck got itchy everything I broke out in hives my American bloodstream couldn't handle the
foreign sriracha anybody else's throat closing up? Hot in here is it?
Are you sure I wasn't at that show?
You might have popped by.
You might have came and watched me.
I was pretty big in the scene back then.
You remember that?
Remember it was our buddy's show.
Yeah, it was great show, fun show.
And the chef, it was like a small little restaurant
and they would do dinner in a show.
And he was like a prefix.
You would just go and get whatever they were making
I think it was meatloaf and fucking twice baked sriracha potatoes
man, I
Remember had a pair of new Chuck Taylors on too
It was cold as shit. My feet were freezing. I couldn't find barking close to
Close to the venue. Hey the parent Chuck's in the winter
Close to the venue. Take a pair of chucks in the winter.
You're losing a tongue.
I may or may not have had socks on too and I had to walk like six blocks.
This is in Contra, Hawken.
I had to walk like six blocks up a hill.
Icy conditions.
Saturday night show.
Saturday night paid gig.
Plus a pretty good sriracha.
Introduce you to sriracha.
I might as well be in the tonight show.
Was that chick cold again?
No, Patty, you know, there's in a bottle of sriracha in that Patty's household. No
What what's it called?
Also, look up how long sriracha will last because I'm
Sometimes mine's been in there a minute. I buy a big bottle and I go through phases where I'm crushing it, I'm doing it on everything.
And other times I'll go six, eight months not using it.
And that thing gets real thin and watery at the bottom.
I got one now that's like, it might as well be,
looks like fucking, looks like Kool-Aid.
Two years in the fridge after opening.
I think I'm probably-
How about out of the fridge?
Six months.
No shit on that heat, on that peppers.
Oh God, alright here, let's see.
This one's from Robert.
$10 homey never had one read.
Is it garbage to eat Tums in the first grade thinking you're doing drugs with your friends?
What the fuck?
Turns out later in life some of them had serious drug issues.
That's just like that's.
I thought they were candy. Your parents are bad when I had it.
We're like there's too much.
You're you're learning about drugs and drinking at too young of an age.
If you're going, let's do drugs in first grade.
Sure. Same with drinking, where we were like, let's steal a beer.
We were too young.
It was too commonplace.
Mm hmm.
My family don't do shit without drinking.
There's not like it's all we get.
What time is this?
What time are you going?
Do you want to stop and get beers before?
It's just it's all drinking.
Sure.
And it's permeated my life.
But mid-Atlantic lifestyle.
Sure. But that means that kids seeing that. Drinking sure and it's permeated my life mid-atlantic lifestyle
But that that means that kids seeing that so are watching the wrong movies or something You're trying to do drugs in first grade not even trying you're doing you think you're doing them
On some fucking tropical breeze Tums
You ain't lying. I'm at the age and of the health where I have Tom's everywhere
Yeah, I got him in the travel bag. I got one at the house. I got one in the burbs
I make sure there's one down the shore. I make sure there's one at my mount like wherever I might be crashing that night. Mm-hmm
I get my hands all Tumski's I surprisingly don't you should very open burping as you said that yeah
But not heartburn II
I've not hurt burn a while
But really haven't I really ever done to control great. Just a good thing
Sure, my gastro guy
Watch that get Barrett's esophagus. It's no good. Have a little tiny bit of that. So it's not good
So it's not good.
So it's not good.
I gotta keep it under control.
Okay.
Alright. Alright, spin zone. Woo, and we're out.
I think that was a spin zone.
You just said I'm doing good. I mean, before I get Barrett's esophagus, then I have Barrett's esophagus.
You gotta keep an eye on it.
It went from, I'm super healthy, I don't want to get this very bad thing, to I have the bad thing.
I have a little piece of it, a little bit.
Which I gotta really watch. It's not a bit of bitcoin. Oh, you got a little taste thing too. I have the bad thing. I have a little piece of it, a little bit. Which I gotta really watch.
It's not if it's not Bitcoin.
Oh, you got a little taste on it.
Alex Arpe?
Sure.
All right, let's see here.
This one, what do you got?
Also called GERD.
Oh, it's- I have GERD.
No, Barrett's esophagus is-
So the GI tract doesn't sound great.
Oh, Barrett's esophagus is. So, the GI tract doesn't
sound great. Oh, Barrett's
esophagus is caused by Gerd.
Yes. Yeah. I have Gerd. And a
little Barrett's esophagus. How
do you have a little of it?
Cuz he's lying, dude. He's got
it. I'm not. It's spin. That's
what I'm talking about. The
spin. You keep saying a little
bit. A little bit. I have a
little bit. We've talked about
this on the on the on the
Patreon when I got my
colonoscopy and my endoscopy. And so I really I really have to be careful that I don't get heartburn.
OK, so I've been on top of it.
So I haven't needed any Tums. OK, sounds good.
Thank you. So that relish you're eating old relish.
Well, my point with that was if I lose sight of the relish, I got to get a new one.
Yeah, there's certain condiments that if you lose, if you go,
I don't remember, was this last year, six months, was it months was it a week ago you try you just got to start over mayonnaise
You just got to start fresh
Mayonnaise salsa queso you got to start fresh sure because those are those are those things that you only eat when the other
They're only applicable at certain times. Yes, the salsa the con queso the fucking the relish
You're only eating that when you have a bag of chips when you have the hot dogs
crazy
That's crazy. Maybe why you have that's why you have Barrett's you're doing homegrown hot
The hot dogs are meant to be at a barbecue at a ballgame from a fucking cart vendor
You shouldn't be doing hot dog. I get that. They're good. I
Then this you know I can't take the blame here as a kid. I ate too love hot dogs. I ate, I ate, then this, you know, I can't take the blame here.
I was a kid, I ate too many hot dogs when I was a kid.
I've eaten too many hot dogs as an adult.
I get that, you shouldn't be,
that's not a meal you should be eating in-house.
You don't like making dogs at the house?
That's crazy.
I do, Trent, there's nothing more.
You and the wife have never gone your way
to the grocery store.
What do you wanna have tonight?
Let's do hot dogs.
Let's do hot dogs.
Get a thing
of Bush's beans. Get a pack of buns. Some relish.
I understand what hot dogs are. You don't have to. No, no one's
ever met my wife.
No. Some chips and hot dogs.
Chips and hot dogs? Crack heads? That's what homeless people
have for dinner. Chips and hot dogs.
homeless people have for dinner. What are you talking about?
Chips and hot dogs.
Potato chips.
Kettle cooked.
You don't like chips and hot dogs?
Listen, stop saying you don't.
I like chips and hot dog.
I do like chips and I do like hot dog.
That is not up for debate.
I like a big bacon cheese dog.
I like hot dogs.
I'm saying, I think at 50,
you shouldn't be making them for dinner. I'm saying I think at
50, you shouldn't be making
them for dinner. I think in the
house. This hasn't been
recently. Still got the relish.
You still got the relish. We're
fucked. We are all over
Foleyville. You don't know when
you're getting a straight answer,
what you're getting, what
you're not. I'm shooting you
straight. I like hot dogs. I'm
I'm not saying to not like hot dogs. I'm saying hot dogs in the house with your wife when you live in New York
City.
I just got an official ruling.
You think that's crazy making hot dogs for dinner.
I think it's very trashy.
Yes in Manhattan.
Yes, I don't live in Manhattan.
Okay, Queens in an apartment building.
It is Queens.
That's like Christmas dinner.
I think if listen, I think if you're I think if you're single
there's less people not eating hot dogs
than I do. I think if you're
single, fantastic bachelor meal
of like, hey, I can get these.
I can have a meal for four or
five, six bucks, whatever it is
stuff up on them. Well, I'm not
saying don't eat hot dog. Eat
all the dogs you want. I feel
yeah, I don't know. it's it's a trashy
meal to eat in-house those that's an outside food right okay so I'm saying I
think that's I think it's a fair assessment okay I mean you're making me
feel like I'm fucking like a John D Rockefeller over here by saying I'm not
frying fucking hot dogs in my studio apartment
with my wife and eating a small bag of potato chips.
You got a studio?
Doing pretty good.
You got a railroad shared.
Alright, let's see here.
We got time for one more.
This one, this is, uh,
Has ever spent the whole day at Disney World come back to your hotel room with a note that says remember
Mickey says no smoking inside the hotel room
PS my grandpa crumbled up the letter and said I'll be damned if some mouse tells me where I can't smoke
That's an old-school kind of guy Disney man. They don't they don't they're always selling it sure Mickey say
Forget it's what Mickey says
He's gonna break your fucking legs. I listen here old-timer. He keeps smoking heaters in here, and you have to balcony
Yeah, that's uh that's great, but dad he says is late not late 90s is a little late for that
That's right on the cuff. That's when a grandfather late
night of you know, I'm smoking
wherever I grew up. I've been
smoking wherever I've been
smoking for 35 years. Yeah, I'm
smoking in this hotel room.
Late 90s, you were still
smoking in restaurants. Yeah,
borderline where? I'm just
saying, yeah, it's like a lot
of places we're changing at
that time. Yeah. Late 90s,
early 2000s when everything
started at least in this area
started changing. New York was no smoking in California was no smoke.
I believe you can't smoke inside anymore.
There's kids in there.
Sure smoking or not catching.
It's a candy store.
Sir catching skitties, but we gotta wrap it up.
What a fun one gang.
We love you to death.
Make sure you check out the Route 66 special when it comes
out February 25th.
Yes, and we're all over the road. The
back on the block tour tickets are moving. Shows are selling
out and as we're doing one run. So we're gonna can't add shows
everywhere. So get your tickets now. Don't snooze cuz you're
gonna lose. We love you. See you next week. Peace.