Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Smoking with Cops w/ Kippy & Foley

Episode Date: August 17, 2023

Are You Garbage is back with Kippy and Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. Its a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! NEW TOUR DATES: https://areyougarbage.com/ Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/ PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Mint Mobile: https://www.MintMobile.com/GARBAGE Get 50% off your 1st box by going to https://factormeals.com/Garbage50 and use code GARBAGE50 Trade Coffee: https://www.drinktrade.com/ayg Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

Gang the stage trashy tour is coming to a city near you. Stand up comedy plus we play the Liy G with the crowd. Shows are selling out and you can get your tickets at RUGARBAGE.com. See you there! Welcome to another exciting edition of... Are you garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals? Or absolute trash?

Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's new favorite podcast. This is our you garbage. So I will show we sit down your favorite comedians and we find that the girl to be classy. Yeah. They're just a big old piece of trash. I'm your host H Fo's Folly coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tuddy's in the new edition. Yeah, she's out in the garage playing with a new bug zapper. Okay. She got, okay.

It's sticking to neighborhood kids fingers in it. All right, fair enough. My co-host is coming at you from across the table. It's a family episode. He's the CEO of R U Garber. Shall we tell you this gang when he's not stuffing goldfish down his face? That was one night. Or yelling at his dog. He's the king of the boardwalk, baby. Mr. Neptune, 2023. Give it up for KJ. Kevin James Ryan.

What up gang. Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you're right. If you subscribe on iTunes, video available and YouTube as you know those numbers are Frutorofcooking Then obviously the greatest gosh darn website of all time WWW that patreon.com slash or you garbage you go over there you sign up for all your bonus content You get five dollar episode you got a ten dollar level or you get hard feelings which is that's where the rubber hits the road over there Check it out gang. It's a part. Hey run away hit that hard feelings It's one one sweep sweep I heard. And then obviously are you garbage.com for all the tour date tickets, all the links are up there.

Shows are selling out left and right. We're adding them. We're babbing them. Be bobbin. Scatting them. Don't forget to t-shirts and zippo style writers. Legally obligated. Fucking big lighter came and shut us down dude. Those guys from BIC don't play around. I'm not a nice quick shout to our person. Legally obligated. Fucking big lighter came in. Shot us down dude.

Those guys from BIC don't play around. Jimmy Zippo the third goal. Tell me to zip it. Not right? How about a nice quick shout to our person. To our person. To our person. To our person. He's got cured meats on a brain. Yeah, look corn beef in me. How about a nice quick shout out to our producer, extraordinaire, the magic man,

makes us all look good, works the ones that do, the threes and the fours. He crosses the tees and he dots the eyes. He is, he took a run this summer. For Mr. Neptune, he was out there every morning, down there to shore. Fucking hitting the waves on his skimboard. Give it up.

For T-bone McScruffins, Toby McMillan, everybody. What up dude, stuff out. I cannot believe how badly I miss the Jersey Shore. I spent years talking shit about this place. It's the greatest. Love it. Love it. Everybody gave me shit. You got a big head, a small peepee. That's got nothing to do. What how good the Jersey Shore is, okay, gang? It's been weeks, it feels like years. I know, I know. That's one thing I wanted to bring up was how we stayed in a nice gym. Yeah, nice gym.

Very nice, you join out there in a water. You can sign up to pay your own check out on Vids. Which usually you'll lunch it with the Airbnb's. I don't give me that. If anybody's ever lunched it on an Airbnb, it's you, you've gotten us thrown out. That's a lunch in it. Again, but I didn't pick the place. You got us thrown out of it. We've been in more haunted houses than not. Would you agree with that? What? Yeah. That's, well, this is hard feelings. That's fucking crazy.

That's nuts. I'm always here. They're Better better in the hallway. The religious house. Religious house. What do you mean? It was a house of God. Where was the religious house? I don't know. There was that one place with the room that was only dolls. Yeah, remember the doll room?

I thought you guys would like that place. Wow, we're trying to have fun. You did good. I did well. The boy did well. But it showed me how much we don't deserve nice things. Sure. We were just very out of place in that house.

Sure. With the neighbors, with that, you know, they were counting our days for us to get out of it. Oh my God. It was, and then like even cleaning up, we were worried about breaking. We didn't know how, I was like, does he, do this, do we do that?

Do we leave money on the dresser? What do we do? We didn't know. We forgot that, I don't know if we were supposed to leave money, but we did not. Man, leave money. Yeah. No, for what?

For all those fucking beer cans with heater butts in them. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh That was a minefield man. I if I got I was like that was like hanging out at Putin's house You know, you're gonna get poisoned. Yeah, man. I had a couple you would always have to do the shake test and then give it a sniff Surprise I didn't get I caught a couple of them in college man god damn it. That'll ruin a mixer Cool in front of the computer Fucking channel the cool in front of the computer Channel the cool in front of the D. Phi E girls Wrong yeah, yeah, but it was just very funny of all of us together normally any time I've ever been in a place that nice It's been with a representative Family family a friend who's like I know we don't know how to operate in a place that nice now

We were like going through the rulebook and stuff, making sure we weren't gonna get, well what do you do with the trash? Where's the trash? I don't know, burn it. We didn't know what the, Dude. And it was five minutes of checkout and Kibbie's doing crab dumps in the bay, dude.

Yeah, that's, yeah. What the fuck? Cut that. Goddamn EPA will be all over us. It was mostly corn and the carbon potatoes. Some for the crabs to get in there. He's this Christy, boom. There wasn't oil slid I'm kidding. It was all water was a water-based boil It was just very like we didn't want to get old Bay off the Coast Guard cutter

We were leaving lights on screen doors open. It was bad. Oh, yeah, that was We were trapped we were AC on Windows down that way we were fucking real trash in there Kitchen kitchen full of flying bugs. Oh, yeah, it was bad. I would do that one point I was thinking about hanging up fly paper just to get them. They were Erie where catch me in at the next morning? Oh, they are my eyebrows. Yeah, it was a good time, baby I got one I got one two treat things I want to jump into Oh, hey, my eyebrows. Yeah. Yeah, it was a good time, baby. I got one, I got one, two, three things I want to jump into. Obviously, supermarkets are a very big deal. Sure.

In our, in our program in our lives. Sure. We've been removed from the suburban, uh, supermarkets for a long time, being living in New York for so long. Which are, it's the, the Cren, they look Cren. Yeah. And I go to the, like's the crem-dala crem. Yeah. And I go to the, like, when I go visit my mom, whatever,

I go to the one that I went to growing up. It's kind of the same, you know, face lifts and stuff like that, but it's the same. Mm-hmm. I went to, I don't know if this was, I went to a Wegmans. That place is. To a wedding there.

Nuts. They got someone slice and presute for you really like they slice cheap like She was back there fucking carbon it put like freshly sliced My wife my wife had never been she's like this what what it? I go I didn't real Italian bro to bring her over from Italy like Furio and the sopranos It was why it was like like to the point where I go, I'm not comfortable here. Didn't feel comfortable. They didn't have all the brands I liked.

The apples are too shiny. It was it. Yeah, it was everything was too good. I go, give me a fucking, give me an acme, give me a shop ride, a super fresh shopping bag, something every day kind of guy. Yeah, this is hoity-poity. This was out of my realm. Now I like that wet bathing suit,

like a damp bathing suit, couple of eddies in ya. Later in the evening, maybe you're like five, six o'clock, you gotta run down to a nice grocery store, that air condition and hit you when you walk in there. Man, that's clean living. Yeah, it's not that place though. That play, it's they're trying too cool that they're not trying, but they're trying.

And shit on Wegmans I got one item that'll turn your tune right around they do an in-house Chili con case O dip that will knock your compression It's a hot Wegmans. It's not it's a canned it no like jar. It's containered It's in like a little Tupperware type deal. deal dude trust me. I ate about four pounds of prosood All right, I mean I'm not saying I'm not saying I'm not saying I didn't indulge while I was there But it's just not a fucking a Ryan and Ryan I'm a rich and dust realist. I'd like to try your be judo I'm a pro judo man to see if I'm going to invest in your Wegmans

Your weakens Take a new Nike snowman 95 Wegmans You're weakens. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha the gas station. Ah! That BP I used to live next to. Had a good selection and you know it. If you don't have peanuts in a 99 cents sleeve, Kippy starts getting nervous. Yeah, I want the cheap ones too, not planners. Well, we have an accommodation, cheddar and beef stick.

Yeah, nothing. I was, Those things sucked by the way. I've never had a good one of those. Like the, just the two tubes, like the two. Yeah, never had a good way. I've never had a good one of those. Like the, just the two tubes, like the two. Yeah, never had a good one. I've always wanted them when I was a kid. I could maybe squeeze a slim gym out of patty,

but never those. That was like asking for a duck. You like a one of those. Hey, you want your cheese and beef sticks? Go down to Wedgeman's, will you? I saw a guy the other day at the grocery store do the move. I was stunned by this. I can't believe the guy didn't freak the fuck out.

The guy goes up to the counter. He says, let me get a pound of turkey paper thin, which I respect. That's the gentleman's move. That, I mean, that should just be, what psychopath is going into a grocery store, say, give it to me thick. I don't know.

I'm sure people do it. Otherwise, that would be the standard. That should be the standard. It should be paper thin. Unless you're trying to get away with serving that for dinner, like, like, like, you know, like that is turkey. But you eat this stuff out of the Tupperware that's, I don't like that. That's paper thin.

That's Hill Shire Toby likes it to Red top no full of nitrates. Go that's it's trash. Did I have a couple samies? Man, it's too slimy. I got a heavy hand No, no, it's not on my on my net zero carb tortilla. Oh, that's a lump of meat Let me get it extra thin extra sweaty It's too it's like it's been sitting out enough christening for two long and they bagged it up. It's like you got off a treadmill, Equinox.

You open it up, it's like fucking goddamn rainforest in there. Who put the turkey in the sauna? What's going on? Yeah. We're just trying to cut waves in my hand. Sweat like a fat girl playing dodgeball. But this guy goes, let me get a paper thing. The kid behind the counter slices one up and he goes,

has this, and the guy goes, that's great. Then he puts that back in. That's an offeratory slice. If you're showing the slice, you gotta give it to the customer. I do, you're not wrong. Well, I tend to believe you're wrong and a lot of things, sir.

You are not wrong on that. My only thing. The guy even reached for it a little bit Fuck out of here my only thing is there is there maybe some sort of COVID protocol that's it's left Oh, I don't know get the fuck out of here. I'm asking. I don't fucking know free lunch meeting never heard anybody I'm just saying hand to hand maybe now. He's got the kid at a glove on I Understand what's your list, but still I'm just kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Easy, we'll get your, we'll get your cheesy Here's the car guy pep Yeah, he's how was holding the guys kid huh? One of them big pickles too like toss and fish to a seal

Keep them in front of you at all times No, obviously, yes, that ship, of course, that's the thing, but I'm just saying maybe I don't maybe there's a Times of tough. I don't fucking know there's, there's times or tough, I don't fucking know. They should be giving out every kid should get a slice of cheese, too, by the way, or. Nice slice of cheese, I forgot about that. 37 year old bold man.

I forgot about that, they would give me a slice of cheese, this shut me up. If you think I wasn't, if you think I, Slice of American man, that brings back memories. Dude, me and my brother, he'd have it on like a little wax paper and he handed it to us. I was like, come union.

Yeah, it was great. I don't think we ever had the wow thing. I was just getting fucking, like you're hitting a dime bag and Baltimore just fucking. They were all trying to get a stick for your forehead. No, but I would get a fucking, my great love affair of bread, of roll, of cheese and rolls was from when I was a kid at SuperFresh.

I would already have a roll because that was right there. No, you wouldn't. Yeah, you'd make a sandwich. I wouldn't make a sandwich. I would do a bite for a bite type deal. Oh, are you sitting in the cart with your little legs kicking? Yeah, yeah, I was young.

Swollen ankles. Gotta die, you cook. My take me to go fish aisle Man As you call it the aquarium Can't tell me shit I would get a roll right as right as we got in they had to give me just a plane roll to keep me from Fucking fidgeting Nothing's better than a fresh roll out of that out of that fucking container with the tongs We didn't use tongues either

Hey, put it back. I had a hand-to-hand combat daddy. Yeah, it's all right. Yeah, little slice of cheese American cheese though trashy pretty all right Sure that Cooper sharping too bad, which might be a local thing Tommy Pope turned us on to that my dad used to fuck with it He was the only guy ever knew that that had it all I taught Cooper Sharp get Cooper Sharp Tommy's the only other guy ever met that that knows that the knows about it But I think it's a local feeling think can you give that a goog? It's Cooper Sharp national or international for all I know

Could be doing shows in Italy. I'm sure it's relative. I'm sure it's relatively bigger I don't think there's like local cheeses like that. Sure. There is in this day and age Yeah, it's an international economy You don't think they like fucking Cooper Sharp cheese out there in Minnesota. Well, I'll tell you what it's down air and Philly It is. Oh, yeah, it's a Philly thing 1893 same grace same great taste from 1893 today Cooper shark. Is that the brand? Is it a company Yes, really Cooper brand Cooper brand. Oh, I just thought I was like a version of short so did I Cooper sharp cheese. So is it an American cheese?

They have a whole variety they do. Oh, yeah, I didn't know this. Oh, yeah, I know that label. Let me see it It's a government cheese that stuff My god, that's it. That's not good. I was like a quartz banquet beer, dude It's up to you when the brains ran yikes Yeah, okay But shout out to Cooper Sharp shout out to it. Um, I always thought it was like a, just like a sharp cheddar of some sort. Yeah, I thought it was some kind of weird American. I hear some kind of weird American.

Patriotic. Ha ha ha ha. God damn Patriot, he'd respect me, will you? Eat my Cooper Sharp. Ha ha ha. Uh, but gang, it's a God damn family episode. So let's get down that abesoness. As you know, when you sign up for Patreon, we will answer your garbage question on the air. The homies get the

first fucking crack at it. And with that being said, let's jump into it. This one's from Sean $10 homie. Never have one red spelled red wrong. Is it garbage? Is it garbage is suddenly realized is one day that you're at your your 10 years into a summer job. That hits you at lunchtime. Hard. Yeah, the steam coming off that t-shirt press. What's going on? I wonder if he's down to shore.

No, probably like land. I have my thought was like landscaping, construction, something that like you're rolled into fucking. I did that when they kicked me out of school. I rolled that summer job right into the fall. Sure. You clean up the leaves. Who's gonna plot us now? Yeah, I mean exactly no. Yeah, I don't think any I Yeah, I actually most of my summer jobs I Feel could have led there was no seasonal work. I didn't really that wasn't a seasonal guy

I would always I've always talked about on the picture I always get these weird fucking epic these weird jobs of just like working at a safe company Like in digging ditches just all this weird shit when I worked under the bridge of 95 with the bridge people that was another Yeah You're jammed up when your boss has a job that's fucking the owner of the company had a job I was like this this ain't right. He's a door man somewhere I gotta go drag it. I'm gonna make drop this ain't right. He's a door man somewhere. I gotta go drag it. I gotta make drop-offs. Don't make me sign this. Yeah. Yeah. 10 years

was a while. It's one of those things though. If you get it in your 20, you know, 21, 22, that, my 20's leap year. It was a black hole the time. You a line from my 20, like 22 to 32. That was a white hole. You're 35 with a pool whistle in your mouth. That's a sweet gig though man. Those guys were all in shape. They get to wear those cool shorts. Was they get to save people and shit? What's the broads probably ain't that bad. There's got to be a cutoff on that though. Yeah, you can't be a fucking 45 year old. I mean, Hasselhoff was the leader though. He was like 35 when that happened. You think?

Yeah, dude. I was young. Baywatch? He was 50 in my head. He had a kid at fucking teenage boy. That he knocked up some broad when he was young. He's in the storyline. He was like 16, 17.

You're so, you're so ingratient in the storyline. I was there for the jugs. You know what I mean? Fucking, that didn't need a plot. I like their gear. They had sweet gear those those LA Life cards they had so much better show you the fucking the Jersey Shore they got a canoe or something like that They're a terrible Duck fuck that Fucking ATVs. Yeah, they didn't I mean I think they had guns didn't they?

No, they always know they had the cop I thought asshole off had a piece in that no you sure yes, I thought he had a shotgun In his house or something. Oh, it's just swim with the shotgun Who does somebody tell those sharks I mean business? I could have swore he had some nickel on them Sharks I mean business. I could have sworn he had some nickel on him. No, the copo, anytime something, the copo always came to save the day and the cop had the dark ATV. Yeah, that's right.

He rolled up and the blues. He was all right, shot out to that guy. Tight little body and a kid probably closing, closing it. But I always hated when I found out that they shot those scenes in a pool the underwater scenes in a plan was my first glance in the Hollywood more like Hollywood You think they were doing I don't know why I was in Anderson out in the fucking that galf-catalena island. I mean yeah It's shark country. I know what I'm first of all you were fucking 22 when it was also cut me some I can see right through that

Yeah, no, they were like so my brother told me or something and I was like no way and then you'll watch I'm just say kid diving for rings in the back of the shot She ducking for quarters see the lane lines Well, come on. What are we doing don't swim? Let's go Yeah, I did love their hot snow. Oh, yeah, Dan, I can't live in there. I don't get too bad. That's what I'm talking about. That was all right, man. The AC up there. I can peer it out. Big parabenoculars. That was all right.

So I don't know what this kid's doing, but hey, man, if it's working for you, it's working for you. Hey, if it's 10 years, it's 10 years, baby. Keep paying a bill. Some are gig, nothing wrong with it. Yeah, keep the lights on. Yeah, but talk about mid mobile Oh, shout out to the mint Like that Ryan Reynolds Sharp kid, you know movie star like that when he had the company before he sold it He could probably charge 80 90 hundred dollars for a plant what he charged 15 15 bucks And I tell you what they're still doing. $15 starting playing. It's crazy. We're talking 5G networks. We're calling no brick and

mortar. We're talking passing the savings right onto you. Get on that mint mobile. Yeah. The fact that it's all digital means there's no stores like the big man said. You're not paying a rent there to electricity for people to be, you know, the smoking doobies in the brick. Yeah, horse and around playing grab bass. None of that. It's fantastic. I've been saying it for my wife's been using it for eight years now. It's easy peasy. You plug it in play. It's the same thing. It's everything just way cheaper. All plants come with a limited talk text, high speed data on the nation's largest 5G network.

You can even keep your same number. All your contacts, the only thing that changes the amount of money left in your pocket, that goes up. That's all right. To get your new wireless plan for just 15 beans a month and get the plan shipped right to your door for free, go to mintmobile.com-scarbage, that's mintmobile.com-scarbage. Cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month, that mintmobile.com-scarbage game.

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In and out the door baby, do yourself a favor. I tell you right now, they do some kind of mash cauliflower. It's all right. Whoo. I'm a big fan. It's all right. Whew. I'm a big fan. I just had one this morning. I'm a big fan of the shredded chicken taco ball.

Sure. I take that out. I dump it on a pan. I heat that up. All that's happening for seconds. They give you a little sauce. You open that up, dump that on, a little mix with a spatula, you're a spoon.

I'll tell you this. Boom right in my gully. You want to shave your eyebrows. Try that turkey chili. Whoa. Oh yeah. I'm sure big fan So head to factor meals dot com slash garbage 50 and use code garbage 50 garbage 5 0 to get 50% off That they're giving away maybe that I might make a great a fake account of join again That's code garbage 50 at factor meals dot com slash garbage 50 to get 50% off. It's in a show notes gang do it. All right

This one's from Victor ever had a Bob Marley poster No No, I did I had his greatest hits for a long time though the CD Yeah, I had one I was in sixth grade It was you know Get a poster. No, I did at at the CD. Sure, everybody. Yeah, it was like that age where you find it and you're like, you find one song you like, you

play that 50 times in a row. Sure. No one can cry. Tosses your room for junk. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Yeah, yeah, if you have a Bob Marley poster, there's a plastic alien headbone lurking somewhere. Somewhere, yeah, I didn't have that. No, I didn't have any real bad like, shit trash. I did like, I had like a bunch of beer stuff in my teens. That was my identity. Still kind of is. Yeah, that's about it. I didn't have any like I guess I did have a G unit poster. No, I think I had the blues brothers I had a big blues brothers One that I that's very of the time for you like the cool thing at some point. Yeah, I bought it at I that in a rolling stones a hot rocks one That I bought at a poster convention down in Philly my buddy poster convention Down in Philly, my buddy poster convention.

My buddy, my buddy's dad, it was really into like classic rock drove us down there. Hot rocks sounds like the worst as seen on TV product. Yeah, get some hot rod and your posters. Tired of shit on a cold toilet seat. Try hot rocks. Hot rocks was great. You went to a poster convention. Yeah, I think it was a poster convention. I want a chick's air. to a poster convention. Yeah, I think it was a poster convention. I want a chick there. Yeah, I remember his dad got a grain funk real road poster. I think this guy smokes weed. Yeah, talk about toss in his room. That was fucking suspect list number one. I'm the first guy with the first dad. We found you work on Monday.

How did you know you got nasty? The first, the first dad that we you work on Monday. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Like he were, he had like a, not a commune. Like a, what are those like shared guard? He worked at a shared guard and where you had like your own 10 by 10 space. And he was growing Chiba? I don't think he was growing a regga though. What, he went out there and picked. I don't know, he had to do something. He didn't let us near it.

Like we were like, he's like staying in the car and he like wandered over to his fucking Panama red. Holy shit, hooked a crop. Yeah. Man, you been on a drug run with somebody's parents and you put it like that Yeah, that doesn't sound great holy shit. Oh, yeah stuff in the bag in your underwear I was about that life from an early eight. I'm gonna search it. Hey, everybody take your shit Holy fuck yeah, I never thought of that. Yeah Hey, we probably was meeting his guy back there

No, it was growing Don't think the other people in the co-op they're probably they might are all in on it. We're just talking about Let's put a couple probably went to a grow house springy little couple rotten tomatoes in the ground Damn growing it. I Guess you had to remember we found he had like this brick weed. It was the first we'd ever seen in a brick. Yeah, he wasn't growing that dude. He probably had a duffel buried back there by some cucumbers or something.

I don't know, but yeah. Brick weed, you got it's got to get compressed. I'm sure he has, these grown weedy can't compress it. What are you talking about? No, you do. No. You know I understand what you're saying but I'm maybe he was growing his own and that was his fucking that was his stash. He also had the box of easy whiter's the dispenser. Like you pull out like that the store has. You open up his like arm more and it had like the box when you would just pull out a whole pack of this guy was heavy into it. Yeah, I did criminal.

Yeah, Jesus crazy. Man, stop him by the plugs. Roll my first joint on that paper. You can always tell you walk in a room. You're like there's weed and when you're like six and you're six or seven you walk into a room. Yeah, you can smell weed right away. 100% You get smelled at once and it's the first time you've ever smelled anything like that. Six or seven you walk into a room. Yeah, you can smell weed right away. A hundred percent. Because you had smelled it once and it's the first time

you've ever smelled anything like that. It's never a confeder on the bed. It's always a blanket. Oh, yeah. You know something's up. It has drapes, but aren't real drapes, no real blinds. Yeah, it's kind of got confeder money.

It's got some. It's high. The money's going somewhere, do you? You know what video that I saw? That's you. It was an oldie when a dude does like the fucking Sativa or what is it the DMT or whatever not the DMT Jump out the window Salvia and jumps out the window that thing's making the rounds again Man he climbs out wall

Like it's no it's him and his girl is girl she she knocks off to the side He starts fucking stay where to have it. He jumps out. So it's a picture window He jumps out the top part of the picture when he pulls the he's a double-hung he pulls it down and goes out to top He doesn't know what's happening And I gotta be honest that wasn't the first floor man. He comes back into the front door, dude Does he never I never caught this equal? Oh get to the front door too. Does he? I never got, I never got, I never got this equal.

Whoo. Oh, man, that's all fucking right. All right, let's see here. This one's from far down. Shout out to you. $10 home here. Never have one red. Have you or anyone in your family had a profile pick

on social media with yourself or someone else holding a fish? That's for sure. For sure. My stepdad, every profile pick profile pick was a had a fish in it. My my space page has a couple of quote unquote album covers. That's still floating around. He boasts already on still floating around. Yeah, is my space you can still go. Is that still like an active website? I don't think any I don't have anything on there. No, it's all gone all my spaces or his profile his profile It's gone. Yeah, you got some tracks up though. No, I don't I Don't think they'll play the disguise Koga under an hour senior class trip the shame all the hits

I mean that's fucking that's the double disc right there gay I don't think they play oh They play now they don't Now This is just a backdoor album album release plug Ah, you don't say it on with the banner man cut that I gotta be willing to dig that stuff out I'll do the bl blood. Yeah, they don't.

The record company shut it down. Baddie, baddie pulled the blog you order 500. I never paid her back for studio. She wasn't able to recoup. So she pulled the blog on my space. That's great. This one from Kramer.

Have you ever used the phrase I got some money coming in soon when asking someone to spot you. Fuck yeah. Ha ha ha. Fuck my whole life. Uh huh. I was, I was the king of thinking I was gonna have a hundred bucks next week.

Yeah. King of it. Yeah, let me borrow 40 now. I'll give that and when I get my hundred, I'll give you your 40 back and still have six. Wait, not a residual check. Man. I remember doing jobs when I was younger

in my 20s and 30s where you weren't gonna get it for a couple of weeks. Yeah, processing payroll back in the day? I couldn't remember why. It damnian, this office took forever doing paperwork. When me and my brother did that, that asbestos job a specialist job at the, at the happer horses, putting it in.

Oh, we've seen things. Fuck it, idiot. No, we were eating it. That took like three weeks. Well, the problem with, for the younger youngsters out there, your first paycheck at a job in the 89,, 9, 2000, or still do that? No, I think a lot of them are like three weeks it was.

Well, it was, they, That's if you got paid for training. Yeah, so it was like your first week where that fell in their pay cycle. They always held it for two weeks or whatever. You get jammed up and be like, and that's when you needed to money the fucking most. Jammed your first week of a new job.

Woo! But after three weeks that check was nice. Yeah, you got a, but then you got used to spend in like that. And then the real check role, then the weekly check or the button, that really, fuck, we had to make yourself whole again too, because you were big bar on and stealing those three weeks. Keeping those. To get late spinning.

I got a check coming. You ever signed a check over to anybody? Well, every, every check I ever got went right to my mom for the cash now Give me I'm going out. Give me to 15 bucks from pop pop. I need a pack of eaters a fucking diesel from wall-watt. Let's go Yeah, always throw a slice of cheese for the Ever do you ever owe somebody money we had to sign a check over to them? I'll sign you over a check. I'll make the check to you.

That's a movie make while being hung out a window. Yeah. You had to do that for a way to wait in your life. You've been signing checks over since I've known you. Sure. You were signed. I'll since I've known you. Sure. You were signing, I'll just sign a check over to them. Yeah. I remember being like, that's what they did in 310 to you.

Sign a check over. You're nuts. That's crazy. Pay to the real official. Pay to the order of, so it's... Yeah, pay to the order. Yeah. Um...

Damn. Pay to the order. Yeah, um, damn. Pay to the order of slick Rick, please. Keep that fucking jammed up, but that was my life, man. I used to be able to I used to be able to thank God at the anxiety's going to keep in this placement, but keeping those plates, plates, but it wasn't. I thrived on it. Be a nervous signing the check so you didn't fuck it up at all. Oh yeah.

I just go below that line. Brandon, I fucking keep it. Also, this is what I wanna talk about. I just got 20, how old am I? 36. 37 by the time this comes out. Checks, you just got checks. Checks, first time is that grown adult I have checks.

What are you doing with those checks, big man? I don't know, you want some, I'll sign one over to you. Yeah, quick. I need one to pay for something, and I had the order, I couldn't order them. I couldn't, I didn't have checks my whole life. Last time I had checks, I had starter checks, and I wrote a $150 check to get a house in the Polkinos

with my friends, and I bounced it And I it was 150 for the weekend for everybody and I was like I'll gather the money So I gather the money the money the piece of shit. I spent I never deposited the money. I spent the money bounce the check Wow, did you do the not purposely did by accident by accident? Uh-huh. What do you mean yikes? I mean with sheet I had the giver the 150 plus the 35 For the bounce check Which I I mean the story I painted her short an old account my insistence That's the last I mean Vinnie, you know, I something's gonna happen here

Let me talk to my associate Vinnie with the skinny man. Yeah, jammed up. But I felt very proud. This morning I put my checkbook together. You put the little transaction thing in there. You gonna write that shit down? Nah. So you keep track of it?

Be like, what like my mother? Getting fights. Oh man, you gotta see that. That's not on the checkbook. If the aliens ever find that, they won't know what to make of it. She's that thing. Like,-rogulyphics. Oh nine different languages fucking carry in threes picture Are you with a knife through your head? Yeah, no, I only have to cut I have to cut one a month So I'll just do that okay?

I'm not I mean I'm not gonna be right and you should get one of those books They're for businesses you should get one of those books. They're for businesses. You should get one of those for what? Huh? Me, T-look, grab a couple of them. I come in your stuff. No, don't you sure. Trying to get into the Yankees game. What?

Kippy said it's cool. I swear. I'm right. Did you check for a half a lobster? You're in a suit. Not seriously. Play cool. T-D-Bone, play cool.

Uh, I just want some Keenan. Is a garbage, have a mixed drink with a lunchable? Oh, man. Yeah, you get something in the stomach. That is a little bit of charcuterie to an extent if you're jammed up. Talk about slimy. Have you felt one of those? The ham and cheese ones?

I never, they never like them. That's thick cut right there. Yeah, that's like it. That's like a brickabaloni. Yeah. They should slice that up a little bit. They should come out with lunchables for adults. Classy lunchables.

Lunchables. Classables. Slight, that's not bad. That's it. That's top of the class. Head of the class. Head of the class. Head of the class lunchable.

No, that says nothing about. It's for AP students only. A touch a class. Touch a class. That's not bad. They should. There should be lunchables for adults. They do it.

It's a charcootery board. They have those. Oscar Meyer. Why Oscar? They have that like Delphorno or whatever one, whatever the fuck it is, whatever those Guitos are doing. Okay, keep up with those fucking Delphorno. I think that's a gutter company. Yeah, we'll do your gotters. No, they're great.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I like those, I like those. I like those. That's lunchable for an adult. I got the cracker ones. But I meant lunchable, Oscar Myers should do it. For the branding. Okay.

Get on the phone, call up Oscar. Write him a check. Got money. Okay, get on the phone call up. Oscar right in the check. I don't have the checkbook. What are you talking about? Um, all right, let's see. This one's from Blake $10 homie here. Is it garbage you approach and play a public piano, whether you're good or not? Who's a lobbyist? You see him? Man, man, you got to be real good. No, or really bad and the pre-game show has to be big. Yes. Cracking knuckles, rolling the sleeves up and then you hit it

with a lock crossbow. Yeah. You're nuts if you don't think I walk up to go, uh-huh cuz I couldn't do the what's it chopsticks the Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da Topsticks are from big. That's it. That's dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun Every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, But there was a day was about four days in 1983 where my mother thought that I was a piano Virtuoso Prodigy and that is 100% dead serious Why because I was down at my class ensemble in a casio. We were down at my cousins for Easter and They had a piano and I think just for half a second, I fucking was slamming on the piano

and something made sense for maybe a second. Just something. And then we were... It's thrown together a half a quarter. Something and then we... And the scale. We went back and my mom was telling everybody that she thinks I'm a prodigy

and I remember she took us to the Wyoming Valley mall and it was they were out In the mall it wasn't a store. There was a bunch of pianos. They used to do that Yeah, like just fill space or like attract people or they would have people put well back in the day malls Like used to be fucking concerts and stuff like Brittany Spears. No, they were selling these There was a bunch of different pianos in the sales. No, I know, I know, yeah, yeah. But they were, there's typically a hub somewhere to that. Oh, maybe. Like it down in the corner.

Yeah, I got you. Trying to be a little foot traffic. And I remember my mom trying to get a deal on this piano and she was telling the guy that he has a real talent. Real talent. And if we could really, like you would be doing, you would be doing a service to music yes and society.

Yes. If you give this fat little bastard. I do. I feel on a piano and I remember I played a little bit. He's getting chocolate all over the keyboard when you do it. Dude, I played a little bit and he just walked away. He's like, ah, lady, the price is the price. She's got.

She got bookers on my Yamaha. I said, head of my time. He didn't get it. You don't understand it's the notes he's not playing. It's like jazz. Yeah, that's a, that's a tough look. I don't think, I don't think he's she ever, anytime your family thought that you were good at something and you really weren't was a tough look. I mean, that was everything, my whole life.

Until, I mean, my mom just- Separate roles. My mom just thought I started being good at this. Up until now was like, I mean, this podcast was happening and she was, she goes, can you get another job? Should we go back to Macy's? That's zip-p in, all right. Dull squirtin'. I mean the fat man got something good here, all right?

Uh, yeah, I sucked in everything. Everything, I was so bad at the guitar, so bad. I just wanted to spread and we went to this place called out. You gotta put the time in. We went to this place. We probably got chasing tail. You gotta put the time in. We went to this place. We probably got chasing tail. You gotta put it in.

I was living the dream, it was living the life. It's all sex drugs and rolls with me. Okay. Uh, I went to the most place house in guitar, just sucked and I just wanted to fucking spread it and melt faces and I, you know, and they stifled my creativity is what they did. Teaching me like Barney and fucking shit like that.

Trying to fucking rock over here. Can't what do you know about trade coffee? Oh, you mean the best and the best? Ice cup of coffee from the fellas over there at trade. I'm telling you right now. Gain, your cup of coffee can be the best part of your day. You don't know what's gonna happen. You know what I mean?

Stepping a little puddle. You get splat. It only gets worse after that cup of coffee. You don't know what's gonna happen. You know what I mean? Step into a puddle, you get splashed. It only gets worse. I have to that cup of coffee. High school kids throwing eggs at you. You never know what's gonna happen. So do yourself a favor, get some trade coffee. There are algorithm matches.

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Can you think up what letter comes after another letter in the ABCs without singing the song? Try what? Like if you really but try and you in music or just the regular alphabet in regular alphabet. I like this go ahead me L M

E F J I that's okay. I know that it's K You have to sing this song. I kind of every single time Jesus I was stupid Hey, don't don't fucking don't say yourself short big guy. I think you are very St. Amaprote G I knew all of them are Q Nope, you all sorry T. No, it's as yes. Yeah, you stay and we're back Give me another one. That's like that's like when you smash the piano and strung three notes together And now you're like you got three right go Go ahead I got three in a row. You.

What's up? Uh, element. Shit. Now I know my A. We're dumb, but you can't, I mean, that's the same thing you'll learn it in a song and that's the same thing where it's like if I do the numbers Seven eight no, it's good

Apologize to the listening audience this guy's got it 14 15 this kid hop now you should be doing a book get this get a check book will you? But that's see that the problem is that's the start of a verse yep QR. So I just have to, I'm right there. Give me something in the middle. Yeah, fuck that. I have a new MNNOP. Adia. H.

I. Yeah. Yeah. That's another one. ABCD, EFG, H-I-J-K, L-M-N-O-P. How do you came up with that? Johnny Alphabet. I know we ain't getting a royalties on that. Oh, yeah, we might be like to have you birthday song

We're gonna bleep that out so many of I have that tape on It fucking sued by chillies or something like that Now you can say the ABC's Charles Bradley really 1834 no Get it pussy Anything Bradley still floating around. No, it's gotta be public domain. You see that? Yeah, but happy birthday ain't. No, it did it.

It went by just recently. I thought that was all bullshit. Somebody really had happy birthday? And we talked about this on the pod probably like two years ago. I didn't believe it either, but that's why like chilies, sings a different version because they could technically be sued.

That was my findings. I just didn't think it was their idiots. Fucking Steve can't remember to have be birthday song. Happy, happy birthday. Happy, happy birthday. We got any sparklers back there. And let's check them off.

Let's check them off. Steve, you just hold the cake, okay? Unless I was remember poorly, which those happen from time to time, but I thought that's the findings of the show previously. Can I say? Because I didn't believe that at all, and I still don't, it doesn't make any fucking sense to me. That was a, that was a humbling thing, waiting tables.

You got to get together to do the birthday. I always felt so bad, I didn't know who to look at, I didn't know, to receive it if it was at my table. First of all, we never never my family never did that. You'd have to be we'd have to be with someone else's family or something for that to happen. No way Denise and door my dad were bringing over when you were a kid unwanted attention. No way Jose. Trying to sneak out on his phone.

No way were they doing that right in family Everybody gets abused to ban through with the checkups. You don't like people looking at us One goes this way one goes that way. Oh, here's the fire alarm go off. Can't be hit it Carp healing out that is five people whistling different songs Yeah That's five people whistling different songs. Yeah. That was not for us. I wouldn't do it now. Would you do it now? No, they tried to do it at my birthday this year.

We would have to then I was like, please stop. I was like a dickhead. And it was a couple whipped cream too. Did you get a pupacino at Starbucks? A couple whipped cream. They didn't want get a pupachino at Starbucks? A couple whipped cream. They didn't want to eat desserts. That was just for show. That was a slice of cheesecake or something.

I wouldn't let them do it. Yeah, you're a real fatty man. When they bring out fake cake for ya, he can't be trusted around a real stop. Just give them some mayo and cold and date. They got a candle and a cup of coffee. Oh yeah, it's so... It was a little ramic and a whipped cream.

They get the fuck outta here. And the kids got ice cream. They touch cream in everybody. The fuck is it? So I got the emberth there. But a wish wouldn't come true. You can't fake it. You can't fake it. Can't fake things like that. You do believe in wishes, don't you? Yeah. And you gotta have the bite of something for the wish to come true. Can't not eat the fucking shit. And a tasty your neighbors.

Hey buddy, it's my birthday. I want my wish to come true. I have some of that Ville porn real quick. Man, I got a flower, some corner of flower. Yeah, sip it up more teeny while you're at it too. Yeah, is it that much? That might be combination, fattest, stupidest thing I've ever just said. What? You have to have a bite of cake for your wish to come true. I think you do.

I think that's, that's, I'm not saying you're, it's probably a theory I've never heard it. I'm not saying, you can't say the wish. That's, yeah, that's normal. You can't say the wish. And you gotta have a bite of the thing. It's like when you cheers glasses and then you touch the thing,

you have to take a sip. Otherwise it's bad luck. I gotta make the rules. Yeah, but luck and wishes are different if we're splitting here. If we're walking through Foleyville, that if you're crazy enough You're probably right and some I'm sure some culture or somebody some lineage does it for sure. What's the rule on the wish? You can't wish for more genies. You I went for more birdie

You know this might shock you but the research on wishes is surprisingly thin Shaky about the research on wishes is surprisingly thin So an Oppenheimer should have been working on bill up better place He's working on wishes You are really something else. A Harvard Law says without a bite. Yeah, who did you think we were gonna find myself included? What are the boys at Skunkworks thing? Yeah. It's gonna think tank going on, if the big man has to eat his cake

after a wish or he don't get the couple MIT guys we're gonna miss. He's just watching videos of people getting their face smashed into cakes, going, no, they're waiting! What do you think about that, by the way? That- It's someone smashed a cake in my face.

But when we were kids, that would have been a fucking brawl. First of all, you just ruined the good cake. And Paddy would have been pissed. I see ones of moms doing it to like nine-year-old kids. Yeah, that would- They go in the blood to candle and they fucking, they curb stomp you. And it will fucking sheetcake.

Yeah, at least give me a fair one, will ya? At least, let's let this fucking shoot the fade. What are we talking about here? That's crazy. I think it would have been fun as a kid. In front of all your friends? It's, it's, it's, man. I mean, in In front of all your friends? If it's man. I mean, in front of your friend, yeah,

but that's also like silly. That's not embarrassing. It's not like if somebody pants me, that'd be different. I'd have to move. Pants you a table top. But I mean a little cake on the face. Now fuck that, you would have freaked out.

I would have, if it was hard Yeah, what do you mean if I was like no? If it like if I stubbed my note like If I started crying in my cake cuz you know sometimes you get hitting a nose your I start water Ice cream cake fresh out the freezer He's four stitches. You can't do that with a Corvell. Are you kidding me? That's like hitting concrete.

Have you ever had your nose set in a Chuck G's? Man. I still can't get over you. They've given you a pup cop. Dude, it's stuck in something else. Sucked. It was like a strawberry in it. Fuck outta here at that.

I thought I told you this. No. I remember telling you that they wanted to sing happy birthday to me. I guess I admitted the pup cup. I'm so late to lip cream. I mean, you and Han should be hanging out more. Got likes the nice pups. That was another thing. That's a gets a great thing.

The pop cop. And I don't charge it. I thought they were gonna whack me for like 250 or something. Freebies. Out the door. You're a six pack. He'd be coming back. Hey, likes someone he gets that house.

Do you rap? You're eating one? I can't be good for the dog though. What? Oops sugar. I think it's fine. I think that I'm I mean, I'm sure like you know, he's doing fucking five macchiatoes a day yet. Well, it'll fucking get to him. But I think a pup cup every now and then's all right. Hit up with a frappuccino. All right, let's see here. Uh, speaking of very topical, speaking of cakes,

Julian, $10 Philly, homie. Shout out to you. Is a carbers to own any season of cake boss on DVD? Ooh, that's. I've said it once. I'll say it again. Say it. Adam. I was over there in Jersey City a couple years ago Carlos Carlos Bakery was over there in Jersey love the show when it was on I liked it too and then it could like all reality shows they start off really good and then they start jumping the cake a little bit. Sure. Um dark. I had a you know I had my I assumed it was good. I went over I think it was maybe I don't know if it's the original one, but it was like a It was it was in one Jersey city, which I think where it started. Yeah, I believe so I had a canole over there Fucking blue my fucking hair back

Un for as big as that operation was at the start push out a good can a good canol, a good, good boots on the ground. Dude, it was, it was probably the best canola I ever had. And I've had a lot of them. I got on canolies real young, two young. I, I just have beef with you. Everything you have that's decent is the best thing you've ever had. I'm telling you. I'm, then I'm telling you, You probably say that sentence 15 times a week.

Give me something else that I say to that. You just said, yeah, I learned about my pup cup. I love a pupa. You just did it down the shore last week. What I have. It was like, it was something so, it was like a French trigger. Like I gotta be honest with you.

I don't know the turkey that I had from Vegas diner. You had turkey from Vegas diner. And an open-faced turkey sandwich. Where was I? You guys were drinking. That sounds about right. Me and T-bone were home alone. I haven't real nice time.

I have real nice time. Yeah, what'd you get? Chicken Caesar wrap. Chicken Caesar wrap. That's one I ever tasted. Oh, it was so wet. It was just so wet with pickle juice. It was not good. Oh really? It was terrible. It was just so wet with pickle juice. It was not good.

Oh, really? It was terrible. They did an open-faced turkey sandwich. It was real nice. Real turkey, too. I couldn't believe that. I think it's probably been sitting there since fucking 90s fresh. I was fresh.

Fresh. Mm-hmm. Probably a turkey, probably a turkey breast. But it was real turkey. It wasn't lunch meat. I mean, yeah. Ed Vittoff, if you said that was the best turkey, open-faced turkey sandwich I ever had, it was real turkey, it wasn't lunch meat. I mean, yeah. That'd be tough if you said that was the best turkey open-faced turkey.

Say what you ever had, it was sliced. It was great. But that canola, I'm telling you. Sure. And I got in the canola, he was real young. Real young. Gem restaurant, shout out to him. That's working back there.

I think I've probably only ever had three canolies in my life. That's crazy. One of the best desserts of all time. Toby, you like it, Kenoli? I don't love Kenolies. Love it, Kenoli. I love it. Like I said, I'm not a dessert guy, but it ain't ain't. They used to be a place in Brooklyn. I did a giant one. They'd bring him out like a cake. You stick my face in there. Every day's your birthday there. I'll stick that one. Slay my face in that if you want. It's like a party sub. He has six foot can only. Yeah. Yeah. That's two times. All right, let's do a couple two tree more here. This one's from JB.

Ever seen anyone get into a public argument while wearing flip flops? Sure. I've been in public arguments wearing flip flops. Sure. I think I've been in, you know, it's get where in flip. You know, it's getting it when someone takes them off sure answer about to start being exchanged which from a tactical standpoint can't fight in flip flops you're gonna pop through them gonna rip through it yeah but bare feet you're loose yeah but you're cutting up unless you're on hardwood floors if you're out of blood sport you're not doing it on broken glass you're on a side note though if you're planting your feet

Really trying to make a fucking power move you ever stub your toe on the on the sidewalk That ain't great kills Yeah, no, I've for sure down to you know, I for sure I was a big flip I've slowly becoming back to a flip flop guy But I don't get old my fucking feet my back If kill me all week from fucking trudging around and then fucking flip flop I can't wear them to make my ankle swell up. Mm-hmm. It's not good How do they make your ankle swell? I don't know. It's something with the it cuts off circulation in the thing I'm telling you okay, and I'm done with the crocs except for the prescriptions ones that I have because they're rounded

I threw that pair out. Okay, they cut me. Fair enough? Yeah, I'm out. The only guy I know can get hurt in the most comfortable pairs shoes ever created. So guys are walking around on clouds and they cut me. Probably had a seashell in there or something. Had my blade in there.

All right, this is a take on one we've talked about before, different kind of take. This one's from Ali is a garbage to ask your arresting officer. If you can smoke a cigarette before he takes you down to county jail, is it even more garbage if he says yes, and hooks one of your cuffs to a squad car door handles so you can do so. That's it. That's a good cop right there. That's a fucking guy who gets it. Also, that's gotta be lower level crime. Maybe not.

I mean, I think if you like knock over a bank, they're getting you right in there. No fuss, no, you gotta prove not to be a physical threat. That's where you need, yeah, of course. To catch a heater. Yeah. Also, it's real nice when they're cuffs, we talked about dog, the bounty hunter does it.

But when they light it for you. Sure. That lean back on a curable, it's all right, dude. All your cares in the world. No, the way with that, when your hands are behind your back, go. That's not a comfortable one, though. It don't matter. It's needed at that moment, because you don't know what the next one is.

If you've probably been on the run, you haven't had one in an hour. You're fucking adrenaline's cooking you get caught you need a stinger boop Dog's always good to hug you. What a year take care of your real toot sweet Yeah, I would extend that courtesy as a cop myself even speeding tickets what a hey I know this is probably a drizzle situation. What do you say we have a smoke? Ha ha ha ha. You got one. You're as I'm saying, yeah, his goofy smoke. Ha ha ha ha.

Smoking in the squad, go. I don't see cops smoking anymore either. I get chased dudes down. That was more cowboy shit. That was more sheriff. The sheriff would smoke. He's out there, you know, when? In like movies and stuff. Oh yeah. That's what I'm saying.

I'm like, 1800. No, there's not no, there's not beat cops like you don't see beat cops cranking probably back in the day. Probably not allowed. Cocked cops smoke on duty. They definitely can't smoke in a cop car, which is all soon they could. Yeah, it's fucking government vehicle. I'm assuming Can't smoke on a bus whoa N.Y. PD's allowed to smoke weed Really yeah, yes no shit. Yeah, they stopped drug tests in last year. There was a clip. There was a clip of a Very attractive female officer. I thought that was a said that was fake hitting a blunt

Smoking doobies. Damn, not on the job. I mean, you know, best you're good. It's really fast, dude. You're in a weed in the car. Ship it. Fucking grow operation going. Yeah.

Um, yeah, that's I would, yes, I would let. If I, I think I would say I would let everybody smoke and that's a solid move if they're not a murder or something, you know, as you were in World War two. And called a soldier called a couple of Germans, gentlemen's move your lieutenant said listen. They don't make it back. They give me to the woods. Yeah, show them what it's like. Are y'all offering a heater? I'm a gentleman, especially back then, everyone was cranking them. But that's where they make a move on you. I mean, am I by myself? No, you got my clusky with you.

Well, why don't you mention that? I mean, it depends, are they cuffed? They're not cuffed. Are they, are depends are they cuffed? Then I cuffed. Are they? Are they? They got hands? Yeah. How? Right when we get to the tree line, those dudes are getting smaked. And then I'm having a eater. Deal with the souls of my chest. He didn't pretend you're looking for a lighter. Hey, you guys know. I wouldn't do that. But I'm not I'm not walking in the wood with fucking yeah, and Kippy has radio operator written all over them now I would be air strike Andy. Why don't my net and have air strikes the world or two I would have figured them out That's my job. I got the jet book. His fame and army guy was the guy in the phone.

I never got that guy. He's doing a word of pizza. Let's go. I were fucking taking him over here. I was all flames, rower, baby. I love the crawl. But you're making ribs. Got the trigger out doing crumb relay I'm the front ones That and the bazooka guy was the best. Oh, yeah, but he wasn't If you're a set if you're laying the land you're it was he standing or kneeling he was kneeling Yeah, that guy that guy's not he's only good for that, you know what I mean? He wasn't really got one shot, dude. Yeah, I know that guy's real fucking. He's got to be you know I like the crawling guy because he could move quick.

Holding the gun on side. Yeah, he couldn't shoot. You got to me, you get the machine gun guy laying down. That was more like a sniper I feel maybe. Now, machine gun. Because it had a little stand. The board, there was a mortar guy too, right? Uh-huh.

Those guys were all right. Yeah, they were always back aligned. Yeah, him and his homie. There was no snipers though. right? Uh-huh. Those guys were all right. Yeah. They were always in the back line. Yeah. Him and his homie. There was no snipers though. It's a little morbid. Oh, is the flame thrower and the bazooka? You got the booby trap guy?

What? Got the scalper. Ha. Uh, but we got to wrap it up, gang. Oh, man. This was a fun one. This was a he. I love you both, gang. We love you. That's enough. This was a he. I love you. It's both gang. Love you. That's no.

I can't tell you I love you. Not crammed in like that. We were talking about killing people. That makes it seem like you thought about killing us. And you decided not to. We told you I love you. I give you a smoke. Kippy. I mean, you see we go out back in heaven. See gang. We love you to death. Come see us in a road all over. Baby. We're at and death come see us in a road all over baby We're at and shows shows are selling out. We're not out on everywhere. So we don't snooze

Get your take your fucking take his let's fucking party gang. The stay trashy towards goddamn you love you to death We'll see you next week. Bye