Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Soda for Breakfast!? w/ Stavros Halkias

Episode Date: December 11, 2025

Are You Garbage presents comedian and podcast host Stavros Halkias! You know Stavvy from stand up comedy, Stavvy's World, This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von, Hot Ones, So True with Caleb Hearon, Bad Friends, The Tim Dillon Show, Soder Podcast, Your Mom's House, Mythical Kitchen and so much more! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG 2025 Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored By: Lucy Goods: http://lucy.co/garbage Promo Code: Garbage Shopify: Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/garbage Aura Frames: Exclusive $35 off Carver Mat at https://on.auraframes.com/GARBAGE. Promo Code GARBAGE Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey, gang, we have a big celebration this weekend in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, our hometown. We want to say thank you, and we love you. Yeah, it's our biggest show we've ever done. It's going to be at the Met in Philadelphia. Tickets still available at are yougabbage.com. Grab the homies, grab the bozos. We love you. Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage, the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash.

Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is R.U. Garbage. Oh, yeah. It's our little show. We sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find that it to be classy. Yeah. But they're just a big old piece of trash. Trash, trash.

I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tootie's in a new edition. She just ran off to hot yoga. We're jeans. Good for her. To go to yoga. I got you. Whoa, that's not what people wear with yoga.

Holy. That's the joke. I don't think it is. Nothing on that. My coes is coming at you. Very judgmentally right next to me. He is the CEO of Are You Garbage? He's an international businessman of my best pal in the whole wide world, and I love him.

Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan, everybody. Well, what up, gang. Shout out to you as always used to make sure you rate you, subscribe on iTunes, full video available on YouTube. Also, full video available over there on Spotify, baby. Hey, don't know. In the charts. And then obviously, the greatest website of all time, don't got to tell nobody in this room. www. patreon.com slash you're all your garbage.

You go over there and get all that bonus content gang and then this Saturday we're at the freaking met in Philadelphia. Come see the boys. Come see the boys. Come hang with the boys. It's a Philly celebration. Back on the block, baby. And gang, we could be more excited to have our incredibly, and I'm an incredibly special guest, back with us again today.

He's our brother from another mother. The pride of Baltimore. Yeah. The host of Stavi's World. One of the stars of the hit film, Bagonia. That's right. Kids work. Yes, one of the stars.

Quote unquote Well my mother saw She audibly yelled in the theater My son knows that guy She was thrown out immediately He's gonna be up in Boston this weekend They weren't showing that film Wherever the fuck you have movie theaters

They were showing fucking Zootopia on eight screens She was at a European film festival She was at Cannes with you They're re-showing every Fasten the Furious movie At whatever fucking theater My mom got caught bootlegging at the Venice film festival That's the only reason your mom's at a fucking art house movie. She's fucking got a camcorder like this.

A camcorder under a trench coat. Cawthon. Just shoot the thing so I can get it out on the street. He's going to be up at the Wilbur in Boston this weekend doing four shows. That's right. He's going to be hitting the road hard January and February. That's right. Get your tickets.

Davy. We're going all over the place. Florida, the Midwest. Whatever. Put it up. That's all over the place, gang. Florida, the Midwest. Who is where the fuck else were we going?

Run it. Hey, new guy Luke, run the dates. Ladies and gentlemen. Oh, Radio City. That's the big. Whoa, what the fuck? You did a toast that? Radio City in March.

What? Let's move some tickets. We'll be fine. I didn't bite off more than I could chew. That's going to be great. Either than we, that's the Met in Philadelphia this weekend. The whole industry is down. You're doing radio.

Ladies and gentlemen, the pride of Baltimore. Thank you. Great to be back, fellas. Thank you for coming. Great to be back. back my favorite podcast to do bit of a bone to pick with you oh please oh god okay

a big one the bigger one's going down I keep coughing up food I keep is it affixated what's a call huh where you affixiate where food goes down the fixiate the windpipe asphyxiate you never had that that's just choking asphyxation is choke is a set in for choking something else assimilation

nope asteris I keep getting little pieces of food go down my windpipe and I cough it up everybody looks like I'm fucking nuts I love how you're like, there's some medical explanation, not eating too fucking fast. Maybe it is. Aspiration. Is that right? I aspire to not choke on my own food.

One day, hopefully. You know what, that is a better goal for you than the Met? Don't choke on a hoagie. Get out of this chair and walk again. Listen, I didn't tell Kippie that rude comment that you threw at me in the Texas. message, but he's going to be very upset about this. Oh, please. Let's get, you know what, let's get back in here.

I'd love for this conversation to span two separate podcasts. That went pretty, I mean, that was very divisive. Yes. That was very divisive. No, it wasn't. Yeah, it was. We almost got to deal with the Philadelphia airport. They wanted a couple of hot guys to come in and talk about showing up early and getting meals.

Yes. I scuttled that for you. You did. You screwed up. You cost us $1,500 in chicken pizza money. That's good for food Or the arcade game Anyway

Yes Tony, it's in there What do we have for lunch Oh man, that's brutal I'd denyable With some herisa Which I can't do the hot stuff Again

It's got bad hard It's bad enough It's bad enough God damn it It's bad enough You give a shit About going to the palm Of course

We're at Stavis, bro, you're giving a shit that we go to the airport. It's insane. And by the way, I do, you caught me so off guard that I didn't have my actual answer to what I used to do. Is this my eldest is sitting in on this? Yeah, yeah. He pulls out, legal past. I'll just here with a separate recording device. Just in case you try and doctor this conversation in your favor.

Gary V. did that, by the way. Gary V. came in recorded on his own, and now he's releasing clips without us. We're not mined. And we're just fuzzy, like, muted voices. I'd say I'd become a millionaire right there. That's all about the grind set. Stealing content you're on. For sure.

Stealing content you agreed to do. I think he changed the background. It's just like flames behind him, too. God love them. Fuck, respect, dude. That's insane. When we were heading down to Charlotte last week, I sent we got to the palm, as gentlemen as we do. We ordered our breakfast.

Charlotte, a, what, an hour, 40 minute flight? You got to have your strength. First class, baby. We bumped everybody up. Flew the whole team down first class. No one in the back. No movies, nothing like that. Brutal.

So I sent Stavey a picture. He gets back to me and he says, are you dirtbags all drinking Diet Coke? What was that 9 a.m.? Yeah, Diet Coke? What the fuck is wrong with you? You're a Greek kid. You don't like having a Diet Coke. It's the morning, you fucking piece.

Have coffee. I do. I do. You got to get the Holy Trinity. You got to get a water, a diet cook, but there they serve Pepsi. Shout out to the Palm. Pepsi. And then a large black.

coffee. Wow. I do all three. Anytime I go to breakfast. A black coffee? Mm-hmm. Even though you're having an indulgent breakfast, you want to throw a little cream in there? It's not too.

No, that goes right to your hips. Yeah, yeah. I do a splash of cream. You do a splash cream in your coffee? If I'm having it, I like to start my day with a black coffee and it kind of like, you know, I can fucking just, I don't know. I'm trying not to eat. I'm just, you know, fat guys are desperate when they try and you diet every fucking

four. You're like maybe fasting is the one. Yeah. So I'm kind of on that right now. I've done. Soon I'll be low car. Once this fails, I'll cycle to low carb. But currently I'm on fasting, so I have a little black coffee.

I've changed mid-meal where I've gone all carbs. I go, I'm doing paleo. And then I'll do a little toast and I'll go, you know what? We'll do intermittent today. I'll eat for the next day now. This is now my fasting window. I'm so glad you brought that up. Put a pin in toast for a second.

I got a big fucking beef with toast. Oh, wow. You're a Greek kid. You like a diner. You like a breakfast. You don't like a diet. So the diet Pepsi for breakfast. It's crazy.

It's crazy. It's refreshing. No, it's not. You get the caffeine. You quench your thirst. It's refreshing. And the palm does a diet bag. Eggs?

You're washing down fucking scrambled eggs with diet Coke? I had an omelette, sir. Okay. All right. Yeah, that's not scrambled eggs. I do the mushroom cheddar. It comes, you cough it up full. It's the lens.

It's got a split down it like that Japanese omelet. Opens up, sucks my face. disgusting it's fucking disgusting you're having breakfast have a fucking coffee everything you guys are doing is against the laws of nature here

with the like with the that's the that's the a YG way game with the airport breakfast I mean again unnatural to plan well I didn't put the restaurant there I hate that

I hate that where you go there's every place there serves breakfast P.F Chang serves breakfast this isn't unnatural you know what this is they don't serve breakfast here's what I'll say I would rather

I would rather you go because that's The one piece of, what interesting happens at breakfast at an airport is, yeah, what the fuck does P.F. Chang serve for breakfast. What does the cheese steak place serve for breakfast? They saute what they serve because we've had breakfast at P.F. Chains. They serve orange chicken. What a side of hatchet? Am I right? Didn't we eat breakfast?

It's like a modified. It's a little bit of breakfast. There's no eggs. You're not getting granola. I can tell you that. That's fine. Look, I'm interested in some kind of like, yeah, I'll take some fucking. an omelet with some fucking Beijing beef

or whatever the fuck they have. That's it. Give me whatever the fuck they go. Like I, I stopped at a I was at an airport and I had some kind of weird breakfast hoagie at a cheese steak place. That was great. You know what I mean? Now, I am. Stopby's got what I got now. That's it. I've caught it. It's an airborne. It's going to transfer to me now.

Oh my God. I've caught fat ass. Lock the doors. Sympathetic fat guy burps. Cough of a breakfast hoagie. It's like when someone yawns. You get it? Fat guys do that with burps and diarrhea. I got GERD. We cycle up like two women when they get their theory together.

Yeah. Man, I got hurt burn real bad. The fat guy cycle is just diarrhea. We're going up to each other privately. Like, do you have a nexium on you? Of course I do. I keep one of my purse. Do you have any preparation age?

Do you have the to go wipes? The tucks? I don't get that. I don't get the hemorrhoys. Oh, that's great. You get roids? Of all the people on earth, I would be willing to bet. No, you would, that would freak me out.

I don't like them. You've never had a whole pain whatsoever. No, never have a... I roll with them pretty much exclusively. Right, right, right, right. Yeah, well... I've had itchy before. You've had an itchy.

But I take care of that. That's a set of worms. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's probably, probably worms. But I don't, I just think the Coke is crazy. Like, it's just... I don't discerated before 11 a.m. I can't do. A kid from diner culture.

I'm just Greek, by the way. You dirty diner guys. Diner culture. that's like you were born in the bus straight people not ancient Greece not the Olympics he says he's just diner culture and you're not giving you credit for the parthenon what are you talking about uh no I don't think Coke I don't think Coke with breakfast is fucking is the way to go that's ridiculous and by the way here's what you do and I thought about this because I was like what did I'm not I don't want to sit here and

put on airs pretend I'm better than these fucking pieces of shit what that I haven't been at my lower than you are now what when i was in the grips of food addiction what would i do and it's exactly what i would do i would go to a sandwich shop in astoria get a hoagie to go put it in my bag you rat think that yeah because that's a good fucking breakfast that's an actually that's trash here and fatter than anything no take it to the airport to the airport on my way to the airport i'm jrity i got my fucking i got my carry on rolling i got the wheels touching you got touching plane you got The hoagy and a stainless steel fucking...

Yeah, yeah. It's handcuffed. It's handcuffed to your hands. And what I would do very oftentimes, eat half right there, then and there. At the deli. Wherever.

Delhi on, you know, maybe it's a nice day. Maybe I sit on a park bench. I'm taking in the sites and the sounds. Before you go to the airport. Yes. If it's like a 1 p.m. flight,

would I rather spend it and fuck it at the palm? Or would I rather have an actual good fucking meal? How much of a CIA meetup does that look like? You sit there. eating a hoagie with luggage next to you. Some guy in a trench coat and a hat sitting next to you? Opens up a newspaper.

He's like, is that pastrami? How much? Is that garlic mayo, regular mayo? There's an X on your suitcase. Is that a Sal Christian Charlie's that you're talking about? I would go to fuck.

What's the place right by? The Italian joint? Yes. Is that Timmy D. likes? Yes. Cirrhizos. Great stuff. Shout out to serisos.

They have a wonderful breakfast. They have a wonderful breakfast. They put a little specific potato in the thing. Great stuff. So let me ask you this. You're eating on the apartment? That's crazy, but fucking planning to eat at a shitty overpriced restaurant, that's not true. Are you, hold on, are you sitting in a random?

There's nothing fatter to me than having your food x-rayed so you can eat it. That's fucking insane. And that's not just you. That's anybody. You're going, run this. I'm so fat. I got to eat this over there. Run this through security.

You put it to an x-ray machine? They have to. I have had bacon with X-raying. X-rays on it. I have ingested X-ray. That's a great point. You're in the woo-woo machine. Yeah.

Yeah. In my hoodie pocket is a full sub. Like, what's this, sir? We're going to have to pat you down. That's crazy to me. That's, to me, listen, but no, we're both being fat and indulgent. I'm at least having a high-quality meal when I'm doing it. See, this is where I got to push back.

You're shitting on the pile. You're out of your fucking mind. I'll tell you the one thing I have a beef with the palm with. Please, here we go. And I want all you upscale breakfast spots. Yeah. To take warning on this. The fucking airport.

He keeps talking about an airport restaurant is upscale. Is the palm upscale or not upscale? Not in the airport. It's not. Not in the fucking. Is the fucking, what if it was? Are the restaurants at Disney World upscale? Oh my guy.

I asked the wrong. Yes. Dude, Go in there with a family four. As soon as it left my mouth, I knew I made a mistake. Say what you want, but you go to goofies. You get a nice steak up wab. Pull up STK downtown Disney.

You want to see me turn out? What are you talking about? We got banged out in there for like a thousand bucks. You ate at the fucking steak restaurant at Disney. STK. It's off campus. It's downtown Disney, right? Downtown Orlando.

No, it's downtown. Whatever. Is it in Disney? It's on Disney property. You're fucking idiots. You're so fucking stupid. If you leave and go to a different steakhouse in Orlando, the meal costs half as much as twice as good. Wait, is he talking to us?

I don't know. Rude. Invite you have nice time. I just got to say 4.7 stars, 32,000 reviews. Yeah, because it's fucking mouth breathing. Disney fans that go there. And what the fuck am I? Yeah, exactly.

You don't like Space Mountain? You don't like Space Mountain? Buddy, I'm going to Orlando in two weeks with my family. You're nuts if you think we're not going to STK and everyone's going to be dressed the fuck up. I'm going to complain about how much it was. I guarantee there's a picture you as a little kid with the fucking ears on. No, there's got to be.

No, I wanted to go. We were too poor to go. But that's the part of it. I am. But also just go to a restaurant in a complex, it's worse and more expensive. That is fact. We can't argue that.

An STK outside of Disney or an airport, a poem outside of an airport is better. We can at least start there, right? You won't fucking sit here and look at me in the eyes and tell me that they're of equivalent, of equivalent status, a restaurant outside of an airport or amusement park. We'll be right now. We turned your mic off five minutes ago. You will at least give me that. You will give me that.

I'll entertain me that. Oh, you'll entertain it. You will not That has to be entered into fat I'll give you that I'll give you that In the fat record It's well

I want the stenographer To fucking write that down It's well documented I call balls and strikes Elvis is asleep What are you talking about? Not Elvis That is true

Can I point out something That's going to bring us together Sure Okay Oh no no no nice try I need you on the record Is a restaurant Outside of an airport

Or amusement park He's not going to give you this Better is it the same quality Or better than a restaurant Inside of an amusement park Do that thing where you lie to everybody. Can you repeat the question? Is a restaurant better outside of an airport or amusement park?

The same restaurant. The same... Like, for example, the Palm. Am I going to get the same meal, dinner? The same quality meal... At the Palm. At the palm on whatever. Isn't there one downtown or something over here?

It's over there. One downtown here in Manhattan. Mm-hmm. Is that the same quality as the one in JFK? John F. Kennedy Airport. Yes. Which I believe is an international airport. It is an international airport.

Eldis, am I right on that? For the record, Ellis is not a yes. Listen, I'll give you that. It is an international airport. I'm answering your question. One of the busiest, largest airports in the world. Eight terminals. Millions of people travel all around the world.

Right. Yes. Is the restaurant there as good as the one outside of an airport? I've never been to the other one. I can't comment. Now, when you say outside of an airport. He has palm written down twice. Hey, give my notes away.

He don't know that. You were about to agree with. me. You were saying balls and strikes. Listen, I got to agree with you. I have to agree with you. Let's just live in a world of trees. But if you think... I've never had dinner at the palm of JFK, so I can't really comment.

To be quite honest with you. Really? No, I've not. Any... We did land that one time and grab steaks. No, we didn't. I'm kidding. There's a hot bartender.

Good looking guy. All right, what I look. Thank you. Kevin, at least you're fucking with me here. You can at least admit... Yeah, flip flopper? You're going to get me in the whip? He just lives in reality, fully. But anyway, I just, I need you guys.

I needed that on the record. Yeah, they do. Well, if you admit that X-raying half a hoagie is crazy. I need a hoagie on a park bench like a weirdo is. Okay, the park bench, no. Part's a beautiful thing to do. No, not when you have shit to do that day. Yeah, you're on your way to the airport.

You're carrying a lot of it. How about setting a fucking, uh, how about sending a fucking alarm three hours early so you can eat at the fucking palm, you idiots? Mine's right outside my fucking door. I don't go through security to eat there. Sure, is X-raying fucking stupid? Yes, but is what you're doing more stupid than that? No. Yes, it fucking is.

Is it a sandwich on a park bench? What are you? Paddington Bear? Yes. Oh, what's so fucking wrong? I'm having a whimsical little fucking morning. That's how I'd like to start my day. You're fucking rushing. You're fucking checking.

You're like, oh, are we going to have enough time to get a... We don't rush. I leave at 6 o'clock to beat the traffic. I did do that on my way to Charlotte. Because I live very far from JFK. Are you out of your fucking minds? I got there an hour before we were supposed to meet. So I went to the Amex lounge, hung out in there, did a little peruse in a coffee, maybe a croissant, waited, then we hit the problem.

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Let me pull up. Yeah, we're a Shopify family. We're a Shopify family. So when you buy merch from us at the shows, we're using Shopify. And on the website, too? Of course. The website's the main thing. That's awesome.

I love Shopify. And if you're out there hustling, which we know you are, starting a side business or your main business, you want to upgrade it, go to Shopify. You want her something funny? What's that? I was at the snack shop for my niece's swimming. They only took cash. I was like, you know what you need? You need Shopify.

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Get all the big stuff for your small business right with Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at Shopify.com slash garbage. Go to Shopify.com slash garbage. One more time, Shopify. com slash garbage. I'm going to bring us all together right now. Okay, go ahead. First of all, I just want to say for anybody out there, if you hate the taste of halls, which a lot of people do, this is what you do.

You piggyback it with a Ludens. And it balances it out. This guy's doing Luden's chasers. Fucking snake bite. It really balances it out. It gives you like. almost like a strawberry lemon or cherry lemonade flavor you can tell how bad fully wants to do fucking speedballs yeah he's doing he's creating cough drop speedballs you look over he's got one

on a spoon he's melting it down i always told myself you have an alcohol swab and a rubber band by any chance when i found out that that was like belushi's thing oh of course i always told myself that yeah that's that i'm definitely going to try that i just never got to it yeah don't it wasn't enough time don't um only if i had now it's all behind me yeah good for you All you upscale breakfast restaurants out there. Unfortunately, including the palm. Mm-hmm. One slice of toast is not an order.

Yes. It's two slices of fucking toast. I agree there. One slice of toast is not an order. Now, is that, are you saying you order specifically a side of toast or is that what comes with your real? Comes with the American breakfast. Comes with? What are you doing?

Should be two pieces of toast. Stavi. You're at the point. That's what you guys get. You want to eat at the upscale fucking breakfast. palm you don't want to eat at a diner where you might get two fucking pieces of toast you're prisoners of your own making here you go to a diner you're getting two pieces of toast that's what i'm saying you have to give it CPR when it gets there because it's drowned

in butter yeah that's what i'm saying go where you belong if you want two pieces of toast don't eat at the fucking palm you get what you get what you deserve one piece of toast i think i agree with you is it right no no it's not right i don't like this i don't like this hope get what you deserve it and he's not wrong uh dude as i saw you making that connection and I got so mad. Stopi post media training is dating. Yeah, what the fuck? Bullshit. I'm just saying

fellas, you know, eat at a fucking diner. We do. Bubbies or whatever, bubbles. I'm going to bubby's at LaGuardia. Maybe we've got to switch it up. Also, how about this? You know what? That might be, you're eating in a fucking airport, you fucking idiots and they don't treat you with baseline human respect because they know you

have to eat there. You don't say that about bubbyes. You can fucking bite your tongue. Every restaurant is shit here at an airport. I just cough something up and I chewed it and put it back down I'm not sure what it was It's probably a bottle cap or something A piece of your esophagus Your own tonsils

Cheap a little Fully you're missing Alarinix Pernounced Lorax But listen I agree with you And of course A two pieces Now if you were to order toast

And they give you one piece I'd fucking riot You should flip the fucking table But they do do that You go to a real nice place. They'll do that. They'll hit you with one, like, you know, 19 multi-grain, thick piece of toast. Now, if it's thick, if it's the thickness of two pieces, I...

That's what I want to. I cannot do one piece of toast. I will not. Yeah. You can. You probably should. My mom gets... Some might say you should do zero piece of toast, but you don't want to.

My mom gets this, that 357 toast. What's it called? That's good stuff. You know what I'm talking? I do, yeah. That stuff. fat, another fat staple, hoping diet bread will sell.

There's a German stuff, fitness bread, do you ever bite that? You fuck with that? I might as well be running a marathon. You get that crispy? It's not bad. That's all right. I just had burger, I had turkey burgers with that, with buns, those 150, whatever the fuck it is. Now, here's the thing I wanted to ask you. I don't know if we ever talked about this. 2-1-2 bread? Yeah, yeah, we keep making up numbers.

1-18-7, bread. It's whatever your cholesterol is. 6-18 bread. My credit score. You mentioned burger. I don't know if we ever got your take on the proper way to eat a burger if we didn't. Let's touch on it again. Please.

Are you ever cutting a burger if it doesn't come cut? Standard burger. Standard burger, no. Okay. I would not do that. Now you take your bite. How do you put that down? Do you put that down, bottom down?

Or do you invert like that to make sure it's sustained structural integrity? Just something I want you to know, Halkius. We're taking Aldous into the room after this. And we're going to ask him all these questions when we're not around. Yeah. We shouldn't even have you in listening. All of a sudden, you're spinning this fucking classy guy. I never said I'm classy.

I just said you're trying to distance yourself from us, which I do not like. Well, first of all, that's your doing. I would love to be, you surprise me at the levels of trash you maintained despite getting more successful. Him or me. Well. You may you expect it. I would expect Kevin to try and better himself. I am a little bit.

You can't help yourself. You're a fucking, you, you, you went to the dentist a couple weeks ago. I got it on Groupon. No. It was the last time I was at a dentist was off group. How bad was that cleaning? How red was that? It was tough.

How much fucking bleeding? Well, they really try to upsell you. You get in there and they go, you need all this. Right, right. When was the last time you went to there, Dennis? It was probably a long time ago. How many years? Seven?

Seven years? Pre-pandemic. You think they were upselling you. You don't think your teeth were in dire need of fucking medical attention. Medical attention? You think they were fucking, what were they trying to upsell? The guy. The guy, the guy working the front desk, which is always bare.

This guy had a fucking mouthful of metal. And I was like, it looks like you're working off of debt. You know what I mean? He's like, we have a payment plan. I'm like, is that what you're fucking? I'll be working here next week. Like my sill got that girl braces and worked at the bottom thing? Yep, yep, yep, exactly right.

How are you doing the burger? I don't, I couldn't tell you. I feel like. He's got to do the noise. Let me get into character. It's like an old lady dialing a phone she has to see in front of it. I feel, yeah, I feel like I would. try and put it down bottom up okay i don't bottom up

inverted i'm sorry no i think i i just in my head but i don't know i'd have i had a burger yesterday i couldn't tell you did you what did you have a burger yesterday made of myself turkey burger oh you were just saying about that turkey burger with the 187 bread now are they are they are they are they are they are they're they're that's like uh yeah i just is it that the pack that has the um no it's it's meat that i make your burgers out of it you buy ground turkey Ground turkey, a little spice blend of my own, you know, ground up. Here's how to make it juicy. Blend the whole onion, put it in the turkey, like mix it all together, put a little bit of egg in there.

Really good stuff. Huh. Like a turkey loaf. It's nice. Yeah, yeah. It gives it a fresh, little juicy. It's nice. Oh.

Stop. He's cooking a lot? Sometimes you can throw a pepper in there, too, if you wanted to. Okay. This guy's high class. You know, sneak in a vegetable in your burger. You won't know. Yeah.

I have to treat myself like a dog eating medicine when it comes to vegetables. I have to blend peppers into my fucking turkey meat. I love how that's the big vegetable. Yeah, one pepper amongst 12 fucking burgers. There's a nutrient pants. I'm eating one 12th of pepper in every burger. Oh, man. I am full on veggies today.

Yes. This guy is a pickle once a year. All of a sudden, he's Luke Corona. No pickles for me. I'm not a pickle guy. Really? I'm right there with you. Not a pickle guy.

Interesting. I like pickled things. I don't like a pickled cucumber. I'll do pickled onions for sure. A red onion. Love them. Good stuff. It's so good.

But I don't know. The classic pickle, not for me. I never asked you to. You a coleslaw guy? Mayonnaise coleslaw? No. Not really. Well, thanks for coming in.

Yeah. Not really. One of the ones, I don't know if we ever asked you. When was the first time you had, this is a piggyback off a little version? When was the first time you had Nutella? Oh. I had it. early because it was in Greece.

There was a brand called Medenda that was a Greek-only brand that my grandmother would, as she was smuggling in other Greek goods that you're not supposed to bring. Through the X-ray machine. Yeah, through the X-Rae. That's a generational for you.

Maybe I grew up. This is what happened. I was as a child eating fucking X-rayed Nutella. You know what I mean? Of course I'm going to want an X-rayed Hogi as far, you know, the older I get. But no, I was like, I was more pumped for her to come back with buckets of Medenda

than I was to see my grandmother. Of course. She would come back on shoot with a bunch of stuff. Yeah, oh, dude, she'd come. Because it was before you could really get everything imported. She's like Karen Hill sneaking into it. Essentially, yeah, essentially. She would come twice.

She lives in this little island all the way up north in a village up a fucking mountain. So it was like during the winter, an old lady could get fucking, you know, it was dangerous. So she would come here for the, she would winter in Baltimore. No kidding. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they'd go back to Greece. You're bitching at us about the palm. Yeah.

You've got to be kidding. No, that's what I'm saying. are you have grown past this. You don't have to eat at airports anymore. Where would she stay? She would stay with you guys? She would stay with us. We shared a wall.

So a lot of my first jacking off, it's like my grandmother's on the other side of the wall. Yeah, yeah. I know what you were doing with the Miranda. Oh, no, that was going down the gullet. I wasn't wasting a drop of that stuff. And then I'll piggyback off that. When was the first time?

This is a good one. This might make it into the second. When was the first time you had Brie cheese? Wow. Wow. Mine was real. Did you just see Brie cheese this weekend or something? No, this is from Mabby. This is a question.

I'm going to guess college. I'm going to guess college. Bree. That makes sense. I remember the first time I really saw it. I saw someone. I guess it's possible somebody brought it to Thanksgiving or something. I'm sure it was around, but it came on my radar at the Mummers Parade in South Philly.

I saw someone eating and I said, what that heck is even at. At the Mummer's parade? Yeah, you were like mid putting on your birthday. blackface We're like No, no, no, no. I was just there dancing. That's the commercial?

It's a South Philly institution. Before you beat up the Puerto Rican get in the neighborhood. Have a little Brie cheese. Yeah, I don't remember, but, you know, probably. The first time I remember eating it, my true first memory of eating Brie is I was like

24. I was in mid-30s. I remember the first time I had it, I was like, this ain't for me. I like it now. I love it now. Yeah. Because it's basically a buttery-ass cheese.

Yeah. Yeah. There was the first time I, my wife came to visit from Germany. We had met and she came back to visit. I took it to Astoria, Beer and Cheese. I don't know. Are they still banging? Yeah, very good.

Got like a nice, we each got like a nice IPA. And I was trying to, I was trying to act classy. Most of my food up until that point was Dollar Slice. Yes, yes, yes. You know. Beer and cheese, not even wine and cheese. Yeah, beer and cheese. That's the classes you could muster.

I thought. It's beer and cheese. I thought I was so classy. I took a picture and put it on Instagram. I remember. My family was like, who do you think you are? We'll do the Gorgonzola plate and two crystal lights, please. I'll do the crab single slice.

I brought my own cheese. Just the beer for me. It's just shredded. And whatever the lady wants. And whatever the lady... Up and including $20. And whatever the lady order, whatever type of cheese the lady orders, get the one under it, but the same type.

Dude, it was the first time I had proper blue cheat Like, man, I didn't know what it was And I took a bite Yeah, man, I, and I wanted, I had this I couldn't push out Of course But I was like talking with it in my mouth And so

Oh, do you know what a bad for me? I got caught with that on a nagiri plate Is that I think you pronounce it, Nogiri? Yeah, yeah And let's just, no try any other ones Let's just stick with that I was at the dinner with my wife. This is years ago.

Yeah, it was the first. Where the fuck are you eating sushi when they're putting blue cheese on it? No, it wasn't blue cheese. Oh, oh, just the, just you, the raw fish. I see, okay, I see. It was, uh, it was the first time they hit me, I would say, yeah, I'll try whatever. And they hit me with raw calamari. Oh, I like that actually.

Oh, dude, that's a chewing of foot. Oh, my God. And I was chewing on like Big League chew It takes a lot of chewing It does There's a point for me Mouthfield where if I can't get it In a couple chews

It ain't happening And I can't get it down I don't care how much How much fucking IPA I got in front of me There's not enough Are you sure that's not a teeth thing Are you sure it's not back to the teeth?

Yeah yeah yeah you need two easy soft shoes You have to spit it out I got a couple of stingers in the back Chew it on one side Because you have a bad tooth on the other side Oh, dude, when my tooth, when I fucked this tooth up, I spent three days. I was like, it's fine. I don't need to get it up.

And it was excruciating pain to the point where I just, like, would place food. I would take a little bite and put it all the way in the back. In my back left corner and go like. Like Tom Hanks? What is the prognosis of that, tooth? Are you getting that fixed? It's too. What are you talking about?

It's chipped. Yeah, I chipped the fake one, but whatever. Okay. I was asking about the chip, too. That didn't get knocked out. That was, that went bad? Is that what happened with that? It went bad and then it got not.

This guy judging me for work at the palm. Again, I am not. That's what you need to look at a mirror if a man like me is disgusted by your actions. That's not what I'm not here to claim I'm above you. I'm just saying you need to, well, I am, unfortunately. I don't know how you've done it. Yeah. Like I get any.

But no, it got, it went bad. What does that mean? Exactly. It was called tooth resorption. And it's when you're fucking, it's when you're fucking, you break your. literally your body starts absorbing the tooth. For real. Kids hungry.

Yeah. And, yeah, I had a joke. I don't think I ever put it on anything where it was like, my body was so fat. It was just like, all right, man, we got to take his teeth. We take your teeth. That's really funny. He's not going to learn that. It felt like that's what happened.

I have that. Take his teeth. No, I'm still working on it. Don't remember. Yeah. You pull your tooth out to do the bit? Yeah. That's my new closure.

Hey, everybody's good today. Self-only my toothless stuff. So it wasn't. cavity. It was like receding into your gums. Yeah, I don't exactly know what the fuck it was. And then you pulled it out by yourself because it hurt so bad? I went to the dent. They took it out. And I thought... Rupon? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, literally

like a friend's, a friend's uncle I had to drive an hour and a half to Jersey. Tough stuff. How good does that feel though when they pull it out when they numb you? It felt good. I had two teeth that went like bad from bad root canout. And they were killing me. They yanked them out. Yeah. Not bad. You got replacements?

You still... Uh-uh. Nice. Uh-uh. I'll wait. Yeah I'll wait till a car I'm not getting the fucking back once replaced Sure

Shout out to all the ladies Still tuned in Yeah Tooth resorption Right If I get a fake tooth put in They gotta drill it Put the screw in

Then you gotta wait like Six months for that Yep And then get the tooth Put in Yeah But your whole mouth Is fucked up

Like you need to do that Because you're just teeth You know They're moving around They move around Yeah You're fine with that I floss every day

And I brush every day Okay I've been to a dentist In probably 20 years You should go to a dentist Nah They bang you out with that shit. We have dental, don't we?

But the dental insurance is the biggest. Just go to the dentist and fucking animals. It doesn't matter. They don't cover nothing. Do we have dental? Eat at the palm outside of security and go to the dentist's office. It doesn't cover anything. So pay out of pocket.

I'm not going to pay a fucking four grand for a fuck for that bullshit. Why not? It's about your mouth, dumbass. What about it? You're okay with it being. I mean, you do have weird teeth to be. He can't seem like He's on the back nine too

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I guess you're right He's on the 18th He's on the 18th green If we're gonna get the bumper fix now? What are you gonna get for eight years? What are you going to get you seen? That's the final eight years of your life It's not worth it

That's chasing bad money right there Any financial advisor Worth his weight and salt, I'll tell you that Yeah, I might as well start a 401K I'm a fucking idiot Crazy Which I think they did and you're going to be real mad when you find out.

What? Are you kidding me? I think they did. Does that come out of a... Call J.B. It's crazy. Fully likes to invest in scratch-offs. He gets most of his...

That's his retirement fund. Hey, I'm a short-term guy. Laundrumats. Nick Rooshofer told me about gravel. Think about getting in the gravel. That makes sense. We had a... We had a real realization.

I don't know if it was on Patreon or what. where we started what you need to get ready for retirement and the fact that how close he is to retire like to normal retirement age and how little he has ready for that it's like he's you have to work till he's like 92 years old yeah i'm five years away from a 55 and older community yeah we're looking to get him in one of those that would be awesome you should go clean up you should we should we should get him down in boca move the whole operation down here save a lot on taxes that way I know what I just saw, too, on a commercial, I was watching, I was watching Goonies in a day when I was home.

Jam-packed day. Oh, God for me, you have to keep up this job until you're 80. And they did one of them, uh, consumer cellular commercials. Yeah. You know? 50 and older. Wow. 50.

Yeah. What the fuck? I mean, that's, yeah. Fuck that. Johnny Depp's like 65. He's doing Cologne commercials with a mountain lion. Right. It's all how you look at it.

Right, right. It's one way to look at it. Yeah. Savage. Yeah. We're coming out with garbache. Yeah, that you should. I think we are.

You should. That'd be great. Kibi, this is aura frames. Orrame, or frame, or frame. Wait, you know or frames? Do I know or a frame? Have you ever bought in aura frames as a present for somebody? About ten times every lady in my life has gotten an or a frame and it's the best gift I've ever given, the best gift they've ever got.

Of course, we're talking about aura frames, the digital, uh, digital... Frame. Yeah. That you put on the thing and you put, upload the pictures and everybody gets to see. I got one for you. You can even preload it with pictures so when they, They open up the box on Christmas Day. Oh, my God, what the heck of they plug it in?

Boom. Really? Dick pick. So that made the grandparents, the aunty uncles, they could keep up and know what the kids are doing and all that kind of stuff. All easy peas. Now, if you ever jammed up for a last minute gift idea, would you recommend getting an orphan?

I wouldn't only recommend it. I would demand it. Really? If you came to me, you said, oh, my God, Kippy, I need help. I got a mother-in-law that won't get off my back. I'm trying to stay in a wheel to have a couple of bucks to buy a short house. I'd say get them, get them to frame, get them the ORFRA. So you'd recommend ORAFraim's this holiday season?

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That's crazy that I'm that old. I'm 15 years from retirement. No, you're not. I know. No, you are not. You're 40 years from retirement. No, I think I'd be glad to go on before that. Yeah.

You know, you think? You're not going to make it to 90? What? Listen, I love you guys, but I can't stay around here forever. Yeah, that's true. I can let you guys go out on your own. You are weirdly getting to the point of, like, isn't it? Because the people that live the longest either take care of themselves or they don't to such a degree that God lets them live as a joke.

It's always an old British woman that drinks Tolleymore every day. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. And you could be that, I mean, you won't be, but there's a possibility. I say at this point you're not going to do it the right way, so just lean in. Sure. Keep smoking. Yeah, I like having everything. You know what I like the way he thinks.

And you might break through to the other side. You're the meme with the diamonds or whatever. That guy with the diamonds and the hammer. You ever see that meme where the guy's like Oh like right With that perseverance Keep smoking Keep fucking doing drugs

Yeah You know like kids Don't listen You're know it all dentist What's the last time you even Talk to them What's the last time you were to Dennis Other than the tooth?

A year ago You get the fluoride Yeah I get to checkups I get the fluoride Bubble gum What do you get? Huh? What do you get?

See that's not You get some You get some bubble gum It was when they had Bubblegum flavors Because your parents And what did you pick out of the treasure chest

What, it's all that flavor Which he-man toy? Because that's how fucking old you are too You're way off They wouldn't be giving away he-mans Those are like $20 retail I went to the dentist Then we saw Goonies in theater

Yeah You auditioned for Chunk He was like a he's a lawyer Right? Big Entertainment law Chunk's a big Yeah Yeah

Yeah I didn't realize Sean Aston was the son of the guy who John Aston who played the original Gomez in the Adams. That's right. Yeah.

Kitt's Hollywood. Last time I was here you made a comment about another black and white television show. Didn't you talk about fucking green gables or some green acres or some bullshit? Green acres? Maybe Hogan's heroes. Hogan's heroes. Which was not in black and white. Okay.

I'm sorry. It was a technicolor. Oh, yeah. It's really weird. You're 50. Yeah. You guys, can you believe it? Great stuff.

You're going to live forever, Hank. There is a, my dad is a huge map of the world from his office when he, when he worked, when he was in the media. You are here. It's flat earth. It's the ice shelf around it. No, and it's, it's the United States, South America, the Soviet Union. Yeah. Huge.

Man, they had a lot of real estate. They did. How'd you fuck that up? You got all that minerals. You got all that oil. Yep. It's crazy. Yeah.

How do you fuck that up? I don't know. You think this is the show to talk about the fall of the USSR? I love how the guy with no teeth and no money. He's like, how you fuck that up? I guarantee you they were doing one piece of toast over there. How do you have everything going for you and still fumble the ball? How does that happen?

I keep spitting up food. A podcast millionaire who refuses to go to the dentist. No dentist. Listen, it's all a hustle You go in there Yeah, they cover the cleaning You spend $1,000 at STK Disney But you won't

The company did that You won't go to the fucking dentist Hey, if the IRS is out there watching That was for content purposes We were down there filming something That was team building Fucking film it then That would be good video

How fucked up your teeth are After not going to the dentist for 20 years I think they're pretty good A couple way to find out I got a hole in one. I'm not talking about golf. All right.

Any more hard-hitting questions? This one, this is very of, this is of Stavi's world a little bit. A little bit of a longer narrative. Please. This is from the last generation of white trash, $10 homie, still kind of a bozo, never have one read.

Show the song in Richmond, loved it. Thank you. You hear that Philadelphia? Are you garbage? If a song on the radio prompted your dad to give you the sex talk, paradise by the dashboard light by meatloaf. We were heading home from the Kmart where his girlfriend worked.

He would disappear into the back of the store with her for when she was on break. I was left to hang out in the electronics department for 20 or 30 minutes. That's when you could still hang out in the electronic department. I never was able to get anything and I had no idea what was going on and he was still married to my mom at the time. Is that trash? Yeah, I mean, that's fucking at every turn. That's trash.

You had as a Kmart. You had a girlfriend, your adult father having a girlfriend that works at Kmart. Instantly you're trash. With no other qualifications. You know, that's trash. Cheating, yes. Banging out of work is nuts. The question, did my phone, was, my father cheating on my mother, taking me along,

not even bribing me with a toy, but just letting me hang out while he fucked some disgusting woman. She could have been good looking. I guess it's... Tell you what, I'm going to go talk to Linda. You watch the same thing on 17 TVs. I mean, yes, it's trash. That's one of the most trash situations I've ever heard of. And it has nothing to do with ostensibly

the meatloaf song. No, not at all. That's actually the classiest thing of the whole story. But it's funny you mention that. I remember kind of piecing things together with that song, too. With the Phil Rizzuto. He rounds first. He goes for second. That's him trying to score I'm not I'm yeah

Are you kidding me? I don't know that song Paradise by the dashboard What year did that come out Luke? It doesn't matter I was listening to to in the early 90s 1970s In 1970s There's fucking 10 years before I was born I didn't listen to him dead I was a year old

In 1977 I understand I wasn't getting late yet but thank you for the compliment I wasn't advanced for my age It was in the 90s when they reissued everything on CD I do feel like Meeloaf did have a big comeback Because I remember him as a child Bad Out of Hell was... It's a great album.

That was just kind of one of the original questions. Two out of three ain't bad? That was the first concert I ever went to was Meatloaf, because I love that. I'll do anything from... Of course. That's a good song. So my mom took me, my brother and my sister, and he was so drunk and dirty, and he's like, he had this girl singing on stage, like, this backup stage.

He's like, this fucking slut! And then, dude, he only did, like, half the concert. And then, like, Ticketmaster came out, was like, we'd like to apologize on behalf of meatloaf and all meatloaf subsidiaries. It was wild. That's awesome. How old are you? Seven, eight? I mean, it was crazy.

Yeah, I was just like, this guy seems upset about something. Yeah, you're incredibly trash. This guy's one of the trashes guys. That's great. Were you a Kmart family? We would dabble. We were Value City. We would dabble in some Kmart.

We were never a Walmart family. I don't think Walmart existed back then. Walmart's from, I mean, I don't know it was by us. It wasn't around by us. No, it was. It was more of a Southern thing. I think they took Kmart over. Yeah, they did Kmart's life.

But yeah, we were a Kmart family for a while. Value City, definitely. I do remember there was a Kmart with a Little Caesars inside of it. Very nice. And that was big. Very nice. The advertising for Little Caesars really worked on me as a child. For sure.

Pizza, pizza guy. Yeah, they weren't around us enough. I would see the commercials, but we would never see, like, we were Domino's or Pizza. It was so good back in the, when they just did the square pizza, it was so good. I remember that actually being the first time I understood how misleading advertising could be. Because I was like, I was like, for like my 50-6th birthday, I was like, I demand little Caesar's pizza. And then I was like, this is going to be the best fucking pizza. Fucking this cartoon loves it.

It's fucking awesome. And it came, it fucking sucked. It like, compared to our local, like, pizza place where it was like what I was used to. Yeah. And I was like, what the fuck? This stinks. They let this on TV? TV betrayed me.

Somebody called the president. Yeah, my favorite thing, television lied to me. Offer profits? This pizza sucks. Took my parents hard-earned money? This is crazy. It really pissed me the fuck off. Damn.

Yeah. Mom, these advertising guys, they might not be good people. I don't know to trust this stuff. But I thought it was really good back in the day when it came in the big box and it was square. Yeah. I thought it was all. We're more of a pizza hut out or a Papa John. Sure.

Where would you do your back-to-school shopping? Would you do Kmart Value City? Yeah, for sure. That's where I think is value city you keep talking about. Value City is like a Burlington Co-Factor. Yeah. sort of place they took over clover in my home town all street road it was clover and then clover turned into value city it was like uh like a like a s like a basca yeah like a bad stand-alone

department never seen yeah like a marr like a shittier marshals like a t j max yeah it was in that it was in that family of stuff when our clover clothes they just shut it down suck did you have a clover down in baltimore we never got great you know what's great about that kmart is right in the middle of the store they have the fucking icy stand You could see it. It was like a, like a fuck. In the center? It was a North Star.

You could just see the polar bear in that cup. It was just going around. It's going around. I was in black and white. Interesting, interesting. Damn. I did like the icy. Yeah.

The slurpy would do the Coca-Cola-flavored slurpy. When that hit, that and a soft pretzel, fucking forget about the night. That is good stuff, fellas. We can build common ground there for sure. And I always hit. That's what it shows all about. Find a common ground. Bring an idiot's together

Yeah, being a fat child throwing a temper tantrum until your mother gave you a slurpy So you could, so she could You know, barely get enough To fucking clothe and feed you Sure, I think to myself If they just would have gave in And made it not a big deal

Would I have grown up to be To have the tendencies that I have? Right If they were, yeah, you want to serve you're ungoverned? I'm not saying ungoverned I'm saying if they didn't Because I'm the kind of person. If you want to make it a fight, I'll make it a fight.

You'll dig your heels in. Yeah, I'll dig my fucking heels in. Well, I'm going to say no. There's something about your genetic makeup that you would have been a mess no matter what. Right. But there is the thought you probably would have, no matter what parenting, you're this guy. Sure. It's kind of my guess, right?

The fact that you refuse to go to the dentist. Is anyone fighting you on the dentist fully? Are you just not going because you don't want to? Not anymore. Right. Exactly. I mean, the only dentist that I've ever gone to is the office that. that my mom worked at when I was younger.

Emotional connection. And then when she stopped working there, the hygienist, Michelle, who I always saw growing up, she went to another office. That's the only dentist that I think about going to. I'm not going to some fucking dentist in the story. What are you fucking nuts? What about Manhattan?

New York City? Yeah. They bang out. Again, that's fine. I'm not going to some dentist on Park Avenue. They give you like a scotch while you're waiting. This is the 50s You're in there smoking

Where do you go? But I know I go to a good A good dance But I know actually There is a school of thought That it's like If you raise your kids

To actually not You don't make like Candy a big deal You don't make desserts a big deal They'll make the better choices They'll just fucking eat it Till they They'll just have like

Fucking couple scoops Be like that was good Yeah And but it's just You know It's so hard for me to fathom that That's the way Luke was raised Right

Yes sir See? You act like you don't need this shit They give it to you for free. Interesting. To quote Mr. Vince Vaugh. And did you ever go over? Did you ever, was there anything you ever gorged on, Luke?

I think college is where you figure that out. You lock that in and then you, hopefully you're on to greener pastures. He had a little pill thing in college. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. His parents watch the show. I mean, dude. Grown man? When I got the fucking unlimited meal plan, that was a big problem.

I remember finding out. I did the freshman 50. What fourth meal was? What's that? Fourth meal. I didn't know it was a thing. I was eating four times before. But I didn't know it was, oh, we'll go to fourth meal.

I was like, once I learned that I had access to that, I didn't fucking miss. I'd leave a party. Yeah, yeah, of course. Later, bitches. Set an alarm on your fucking phone. Yeah. To be like, up fourth meal, or whatever. I'll be back, yeah.

You skanks aren't giving it up. I'm getting out of here. I'm going to go make a chicken finger sandwich. Yeah. Took a couple chicken fingers, put them on a Kaiser roll, slice of cheese out the door. That's good stuff. Oh, that's fucking a real. Yeah.

Yeah, they had a fucking soft serve machine. Yeah. I just had soft serve after every meal. Every meal. You had a soft serve machine. In college. Would you go Harvard? Yeah, University of Maryland, Baltimore County.

Oh, yikes. Yikes. We just, I remember the first time we had fountain, we had gatorade fountain drinks. Like, you know, gatorade out of the fountain. So you get like two or three of them put it on the tray. Probably a wild cherry Pepsi put that on a tray. Love that. No water in sight.

Of course. And I'm going. I got like three or four drinks on the tray. like 12 ounce cups or whatever and I remember sitting down and there was this kid I became friends that was like really in shape we went to high school together

but he wasn't in we weren't boys in high school but we linked up in college that happens a lot in college yeah and he was like going to the gym every day and I was just fucking smoking and eating drinking

and he goes hey man I notice you I noticed you drink Gatorade with every meal you know say hydrated you know I noticed

this is like this is like Six weeks into college. Couldn't help but notice, man. You're drinking, you're drinking a lot of games. He goes, that's typically reserved for, like, when you exercise and need to replenish. Just giving you the benefit of the doubt is if you're that stupid. I was.

I never thought of it. It was, I had never, I just thought I was going to be in better, like, in case something did break out. Oh, yeah, I'm drinking when an athlete drinks. I'll become an athlete. What if some chick wants to see me dunk? I don't want to cramp up like a hiss old That's fucking awesome And I remember it rattled me to the core

Did you not know? No, no, I'm with Kevin here Because I got no, you're right for you No one you That's what that means drink Exactly. No one, the concept of a drink like I had no soda was bad for you Yeah, yeah Sugar in Gatorade didn't even cross my mind

No, not once No, absolutely. Absolutely not. I used to do the thing. I was so fat and I lied to myself so much. I remember one, I remember I went one time with my boy, Pat, who was, like, tiny, like, just regular kid to McDonald's.

And I went, oh, he eats McDonald's. It can't be, like, I can have it four times a week. Where he has it once a month. Once a month. Yeah, and I'm like, that I, I, once a month throws away some of the fries. Yeah. You were the first time you ate McDonald's someone,

you saw some fries left. You were like, what? He must ate just before. came like I did I for the first time I for Thanksgiving my brother hosted

and so I didn't have access to left just now yeah just now and I left my like tin you know you just kind of make a little

plate but I left it there so I did this is you want to hear trash and I freely admit this right I went to a McDonald's drive through on Thanksgiving

at like eight o'clock to watch the Ravens I was like I don't have leftovers it's Thanksgiving You know you give yourself like Listen you give yourself Thanksgiving act

A fucking fool So I fucking And even then Full off Thanksgiving dinner Didn't want to finish my fucking fries I had I finned I fucking stuffed them Yeah I wasn't hungry I did it though

I had a very modest quarter pounder 10 nuggets and fries Like the pilgrims did Exactly Very modest order Nothing wrong there A corticopia Yeah

But yes I remember the first time eating fast food or someone and just seeing like a bite of sandwich and some fries going to the trash and it fucking pissed me off. We were telling us story. Where's the apple pie? That's what I want to know.

I didn't get an apple pie. In the car on the way home from the road yesterday. My all-time car getting denied I was in line at a McDonald's. I had ordered and then went to pay 681 or whatever got denied. And there was a curb so I couldn't pull out. So I had to wait until they get to the next window.

And he's like, I don't have your I'm like, yeah, I don't, I ain't got it. It's tough. I changed my mind. I'm going to go grab a Gatorade. You're like, you should have just been like, surely there's a mistake. Sure. Oh, that, this is a one of the segue.

This is from A.G. Willekers. When you go through a drive-through, at what point does the size of the order become rude to the people behind you? And someone piggy bad, no, there was a comment on this. Is it just easier if there's five people, you go, just give me five burgers, five nuggets, five fries, five drinks? Or does everybody get to go? their individual what's the or do you not take account into that at all yeah fuck damn

what are you talking about I'm sort of with fully where it's like listen I I guess it depends right what are we in Russia you get what you want what are you out of your fucking mind this is one of yeah as American society is crumbling one of the few comforts we have is

whatever you want from a drive-through menu and I sort of look if it's the kind of thing where you're just popping over somewhere it's like yeah get a bag of bird Like, if you're showing up at a party, you get a bag of fucking... I like that. Bag of burgers, bag of nuggets. No one's mad.

We've done that. I've done that before. That's a great move. But if it's like, I would say if your party is five and under, if you're just a packed car, you're fine. Now, if it's a sprinter van. Yeah, yeah, school bus sprinter van. It's a little different. But yeah, and I think you can say, like, hey, can we simplify this?

Like, if someone's getting a fucking McChicken and one guy's getting the crispy chicken, it's like, how about two? You know what I mean? You try your artist to simplify, but no, at the end of the day, if somebody really wants something. It's fast food. That's two seconds. You're looking at me. Like, I came up with it. I'm just, you know, I don't like the fact that you brought it up.

Don't shoot the messenger. What the fuck? Yeah, because oftentimes it's a real. Stop and get them. It's a real treat. When you're, and especially when you have a car full of people, you're probably high. Someone's, you know, one guy's sober, one guy's drunk. Now, that's the other thing.

If you're the sober guy doing a fucking car full of drugs. Oh, fuck everybody. No, you got to go one big bag. You listen to what they have to say, and you decide how close. And then when they're like, they're drunk, you're like, oh, my God, can you believe they fucked up your order? Fuck them. You know what I mean? It's like, that's the other thing.

Just eat it and shut up. That's what it is. I'll give you that. And here's the thing. Get one, get a couple extra things. So if you get twice, two things you didn't really want that much, you're all right. You're fine with that. You get an extra.

It's like, oh, yeah, here's an extra fucking quarter pounder. It's McDonald's. Everything's good. It's not one thing on the menu that you wouldn't. And it's all the same shit. McDonald's Taco Bell, wherever the fuck you're going, it's four ingredients switched up a little bit. Let's go. Now, when you did that Thanksgiving order, where did you eat that?

What did you pull up and park? No, I took it to my home. Took it to the home. Yeah. That's crazy. I grew up like we pull up and park and eat right there. That's Thanksgiving. And I don't appreciate the emphasis on the home.

You're at McDonald's on Thanksgiving. I took it to my home where I was alone. Without a wife or children. I took it to my home. It was a 36-year-old man, my beautiful home that I share with no one. My beautiful vapid home. You turn the heat off and all the lights, just sit by one candle? I feel bad now.

No, it's funny. What did you get? I told you already, you're a motherfucker. I missed it. A quarter-pounder, a double, or, double quarter-pounder, 10 McNuggets and some fries. That you finished. I did. I did finish, but they were colder than I usually would let them get.

It kills me. Yeah. Those McDonald's fries. and they get cold. It's over. I don't hate it. Because the thing is, I considered being, I considered not eating the fries

as sort of like a, well, I didn't eat the whole. That's another fact I think. I didn't. You didn't do the whole thing. But then you always do. I'm going to become the thing I hate. A healthy guy that only eats part of his McDonald's order. It's crazy.

And then I just, of course, go back. The Ravens are losing what I'm going to fucking, I'm going to fucking eat them. Come on. You know, I need some comfort in that moment. Either die the hero, you live long enough to become a villain. That's right. Absolutely.

All right, one more food one This is from Aunt Rose $10 solstice here Never have one red, no big deal Oh, I have had one red, no big deal I just made a salad In interest of being healthy Sure

But there were no croutons left I'm out So I crushed up some sun chips in there Instead thoughts Yes P.S they were garden salsa flavor Ah garden From the garden like the lettuce

The chips is a garden It's crazy to me But I get it Well here's what I'll say I think if you're doing it to be healthy if you actually if you took a serving of sun chips that's like whatever calories

80 calories and whatever you crumple them up no harm no foul I don't think so you put some bacon in there you put some you put a little bit of cheese to make a salad worthwhile you put a little dressing in there if you're doing that I actually like it one time I didn't have salt on the road and I crushed up

cheese it's and used that as salt and you know what what were you making it was like some kind of chicken pasta thing And it kind of worked. It kind of worked. That was 60, I got 60 calories worth of Cheez-I-It's. Not bad. Check out Stavey gets ripped episode, which episode is that.

We love it. We're big fans of it over here. Talk about pushing an analogy to its limits. It wasn't even an analogy, just what happened. It's not a metaphor. I literally used Cheez-Its as salt the way this woman used garden salsa chips as croutes. So I'm with her. That's a great way to look at it. It's like, yeah, it isn't the bet.

And I would never do that. I would do five handfuls and then eat some before I wrap. To bag up, of course, of course. And then throw this out and get a pizza. That's wrong with a little crunch. That's brilliant, though. It was like it probably is the same calories as the fucking serving of croutons or whatever. You know, in the same ballpark.

Sure, sure, sure. When I was living in North Carolina, all I had in my house was a bag of that mixed salad. And crack. Balsamic dressing and, what's it called, saltines? And I would crush them up and use them as, as, uh. That's fucking crazy. That's one of the most fucking depressing things. It's like the Italians.

They didn't... It's like the Italian. But they didn't have cheese, so they would use breadcrumbs instead. That's what fucking Tucci said on one of his show. Tucci's full of shit. We are anti-Tucci. Oh, you guys are not Stanley Tucci guys. I, dude, it's...

Fuck Tucci. Go watch an episode. That motherfucker is lying about speaking Italian. He don't know what the fuck he's talking about. Welcome back to pretentious with Stanley Tuch. His motherfucker went... He went to Rome once when he was 12 years old for two weeks. And then it's like, you're the authority?

Get the fuck out of me. I went to lacrosse camp for two weeks, too. You don't see me running around with a stick. And also, every time... That was a bad analogy. That's not bad. Every time the guy will just speak Italian to him. Like, what do, what do, what, do, and go...

Ah, see. And then it cuts. He don't know what the fuck he's saying. Oh, so your beef with Stanley DGGZ is overselling how Italian he is. Yeah. That's one thing. First, he doesn't even look at that. He looks Jewish, the guy.

Two. How does there's anything wrong with that? Yeah, yeah. Can you believe it? They're tricking me into watching a Jew on television? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. My wife's Jewish. She's also on TV.

All right, we got to wrap it up here on that note. Right. Just fucking great, Stavro's Halkeus, hitting the road hard. Thank you. 2026. Come see the tour. We're coming to a bunch of places, you know, fucking flat. Like I said, put them up here, whatever the fuck.

You guys will do it. I love you guys. We have a CGI budget. It's so easy to do. If Vald's going to figure it out, you guys can figure it out. New guy, Luke, Luke, get on it. Luke can figure it out. But, yeah, I'm coming all over the place.

Boston this weekend, a couple of tickets left. We start the four. Four shows at the Wilbur, baby. It's probably really fun. Then we start in Florida, and I don't remember where, you know, Buffalo. I'm coming to Philly. We'll put it up for you. We'll put it up for you.

We'll put it up for you. Yeah, we listen to Stavvy's world, the whole thing. Of course. Stavvy, we love you, buddy. Kippe, what do you got for them? Guys, we announced our new 2026 dates, get those tickets. A lot of fun cities playing tickets are already moving, and then obviously Philly this weekend.

I love to see you there. Starving, we love you. Love you, buddy. Gang, we love you. We'll see you next week. Peace.