Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Soda is Medicine w/ Kippy & Foley!

Episode Date: March 24, 2022

Kippy & Foley are back with a hot one! Thanks for listening. Love youse guys!  Live Shows: https://linktr.ee/AreYouGarbage PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage https://www.athleticgreens.com/GARBAGE https://www.BOMBAS.com/Garbage https://www.Allform.com/GARBAGE https://www.BlueChew.comPromo Code: GARBAGE Subscribe on iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/are-you-garbage-comedy-podcast/id1499140700 Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/foleygrams/ Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

California? California? California? The middle-class famous tour is coming to the Left Coast?! Yeah, guys, April 3rd we're gonna be in San Francisco, April 4th we're gonna be in Los Angeles, April 6th we're gonna be in La Jolla, get your tickets now, it's a little bit a stand up,

It's a little bit of AYJ, it's a whole lot of fun do it! Ooou. Welcome to another exciting edition of R U Garbage! The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast,

this is R U Garbage. Sure is. So little show, we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find out if they're group to be classy. Uh huh. Or if they're just a big old piece of trash. Trash, trash. I'm your host H Foley, coming at you a little bit under the weather. Coming at you from the ICU this week, goddamn big man!

Down here at Antutti's basement, Uncle Hank got a bad clamps casino the other night, I think. I got something working through me, it's coming out like a bad cat. Doing number one out of the two, been there. Smells like grim death down there. I'm your host H Foley, we're down here at Antutti's basement, she's upstairs, thinks she ran to the grocery store. My co-host is coming at you from across the table at me. He is the CEO of R U Garbage.

He was voted Mr. Steel Your Girl Summer of 2002. Give it up for Kevin James Ryan. I think I might have been doing alright in 2006 was probably my year, but uh, happy to be here. Thanks for tuning in. We've seen photographic evidence of the gun trail. Might have been seven. You would never slim down. I'm telling you, I'm telling you, there was one summer when I was fucking binge drinking and living off $3 chicken cheese takes from 17th and Diamond.

And I poppy, I was tight as a drum. It wasn't healthy. I probably had a couple of days left. His breath was horrible, but still. Gang, thanks for tuning in. As always, just make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. And as you know, those numbers are.

Trigger out. Fucking cook and they were closing on like 45,000 something around there and a 40,000. 42,000. That's, that's great. I'm pumping the number, pumping up scheme. You guys, you guys subscribe and then find 10 more subscribers. Um, and now they're subscribing to you. Yes, exactly.

Pyramid YouTube, uh, then obviously patreon.com. The greatest website of all time. Honestly, it is. That is, I say that as a joke, but in my life, your life, my wife's life. No other, no other website has impacted us this much. None. AOL maybe when I was doing it, uh, age, sex, location. Or that XNXX.com.

Ooh, not too shabby. That, that revolutionized the game in about 2011. Talk about rubber meeting the road. And then guys, live shows, uh, California tickets are moving. For sure. Los Angeles is sold out by the time this is there. Tickets are already moving in fucking SF. Tickets are really moving in La Jolla.

Get them now. Then obviously Pittsburgh, Buffalo, Detroit. Maybe adding something on a tale into that. Just saying. Really? Uh, Phoenix, uh, Salt Lake city. Get the fucking tiki, tiki, tiki's. Look at that LA selling out, baby.

La La Land. It's a seven cedar, but we're doing all right. It's just a suburban, but still. It's a black box at Encino. Dang, have a nice quick shout out to our producer extraordinaire. The magic man makes us all look good. One of my best pals. Very forgiving young man.

Tune in at a Patreon. Give it up for Toby. Mr. Toby McMullen. Sir. Mr. Toby McMullen is my dad. Please call me ticket. Call me huge loser.

What's with the right guard? Many years on the thing. I forgot to put deodorant on before I left the apartment. I keep a stash in the studio. So I don't get it up in here. Damn. It's very teenager of you. Yeah.

I got quite a funk little ax bodies. Yeah. Do you kick hard? Oh, yeah. Even fresh out of the shower. Like after if you forget to put on deodorant, what's the shelf life on a McMullen? Five, six seconds.

Really? Oh, I go bad like an old peach. Mac and old peach. Avocado McMullen over here. Only right for three days a year. What's with those? Those avocados. I can't get a read on those.

I got to do. I got one that's like shape shifters. Man, I got one that fucking died on the vine in the back of my fridge. I saw it two days ago. Left that for the misses and it was mine. But she gets them and use them. I get them and I'm like, I have one of breakfast, a half of breakfast or something. I'll have this later tonight.

You got to use the whole thing. You'll use a whole avocado. What are you doing? You do a half of it on. A half? Yeah. You're crazy. This is the difference between 225 and 400 pounds.

Avocado's good fat. Yeah, lay off it though. You know what'll really shrink up beyond gross as fuck? It's a banana. That just turns into a mummy. Oh, I don't. I'm not a banana guy. I got to say, my wife doesn't believe me.

They're real decepticons those bananas. Because sometimes the outside could look really, really nice. And you open that thing up and it's God damn. This is gross. This might, this will blow your hair back a little bit. This has been verified by my wife. Didn't believe me. Verified by my mother.

Okay. I've never had a banana. Shut up. Yeah, I swear to God. There's no way that's true. I'm telling you. What about when you were a little fat kid? Your little nannies.

I had my fucking slim face. No, she goes, I mean, when you were a baby, she's like, maybe you weren't eating chicken. Parm is a little as a little baby. No, but she's like maybe like mashed at a time. But net like it just I've never, I've never bitten into a banana. Really? Uh-uh.

Man. Yeah, it's strange. I'm an odd guy when it comes to the foods. There's a lot that I don't mess with. I just started eating red meat out of college. Never saw the matrix. Never saw the matrix. Weird.

If there's any podcast hiring, looking for production staff, I am now available. Yeah, me too. Hey, I'm willing to learn. I'm willing to start from the bottom, sir. You're in the mail room if you know what, dude. Morning, Mr. Kelly. Yeah.

Trying to go over. Moshi Mike's head. The mail room of white KW. That's a good one. T-bone. Hey, good job, boss. Love you, buddy. Whoo.

Man, I am hurting for a squirtin over here. That means you want to be fucked, right? Oh, yeah. Wow. Yeah, here she was hurting for a squirtin. I hurt my, I stick to my statement, but still, not now. I'm all messy back there. Yeah, I couldn't imagine.

I couldn't imagine on a good day. It's good. It's not bad. I have some special brushes that I have in the shower. Main and tail. Help yourself to the main and tail. Long reachers, they get in there. I do it.

I just got a new exfoliating brush that looks like a horse brush but you rub it on dry. Dry rub brush. My wife uses it. Right before you get in the shower. Yes. Sephora. Yeah.

Not a bad spot. I know. I never liked that kind of stuff. On the testicles, yeah. Whoo. That's what you're paying for. Pain or pleasure, baby. You choose.

Could you do that? What? Like the dominatrix type stuff? Could you be a dominatrix? Do you like anything like that? Could I be dominated? Yeah. Do you like anything?

Safe word banana? I don't think so, man. I'm a pretty, you know, I'm a pretty meat and potatoes kind of guy. Candle wax? I don't think I've ever done it. Nipple play? Yours. Yeah, like I've said, I'm kind of, you know.

Your nipples probably look like a pill box in World War II. No, they're all right. Fucking barbed wire. No. Stevie Wonders. Two guys from the SS on the 88. Titty's wit. I'm not, I'm not weird.

I'm, you know, I'm a fucking turkey and cheese kind of guy, you know, but I'm not very sensitive kind of anywhere. What about you, Timo? Could you gimp it up? No, that's not my scene. Ball gag on me? Yeah. No.

Leather? No, I could see you drinking milk at an orgy though. Why would I? It's just way too comfortable. Yeah, just hanging out in dirty sweatpants. Not even thinking about getting naked, just hanging. Yeah. I'm a watcher.

I don't even think you're watching. You're just, you know, bullshit. I like to be funny. You think I'm watching the game? Yeah, I don't know. You know, talking job. They took a pint of fluid out of my bag. What's a lease on this place?

You had to put two months first? Last security? What are you doing? I was pretty well-known for doing stupid shit like that when I was under certain... You're still pretty well-known for doing stupid shit, I might add. Well, back in the day when I was under certain influences.

Yeah. All right. What are you, in this sunny day cult? What are you doing? Yeah, I didn't rescue you to have your ear. I couldn't think of the cult. I got real big in a hail bomb. You're not welcome here, Gandalf.

That's who you Lord of the Rings fans out there. Nose beers, we'll say. I know. We have some underage audience. I don't want to condone any. Anyway, I'd be in after-hours places with certain people from certain walks of life. Walks of life in certain neighborhoods

where you don't really ask a lot of questions. Sure. And I'd be in there. Yeah, like, oh, how many taps you guys have? Who owns this place? Yeah, really, really ruining the vibe. Yeah, really ruining the vibe. Yeah.

It's kind of my specialty. You do ask too many questions, especially for that kind of. I've never been to one of those settings, but I assume those settings aren't, you know. Now. A lot of like. Now. You know.

How long you been working here, that kind of thing. I remember one time we had something where we had to wear a suit and we ended up at this after-hours place and we walked in in suits and, dude, I swear to God, like four. A bunch of ball bears. Four of them. Like four or five guys ran out.

They thought we were cops. We just went in. Hey, what's going on here? Oh, the flashlight's in bad just kind of thing. I stink. I know. I had a little. Sicky.

I had a little something. It's probably the most garbage thing I've done in quite a while. You know, I have this new pup, right? The dog. The dog. Shout out. Ponzi. Shout out to Han.

Head of security. Ponzi Ponzi. But she is not reported for duty yet. He is not. When is his training going to be over? What do you mean he's trained? When's boot camp over? He's currently with some ex-missile agents.

Really? Really learning the ropes. Man. Yeah. Fake noses and all that kind of stuff? Yeah, everything, yeah. Securing the hard drive type stuff. He's more of an analyst.

But it was the middle of the night. Sleep, he's a little bit of a wonky sleeper. So we put him in this pen, we got a pen for him. And I woke up in the middle of the night. Yeah. And had to, I had to tinky. Take a leak. But I didn't want to wake him up.

How are you not waking up a puppy? What do you mean? There's no way you can tiptoe around there. That's what I'm saying. I didn't want to wake him up. I understand. So I may have, I may have relieved myself. What?

In a flower pot. In the bathroom. In the shower. I didn't make it to the shower. Because you don't want to wake him up. Because I didn't want to wake him up. I was drinking. I've been watching a lot of Colombo.

I got this, I can solve it off top. What do you got? One more thing. One more thing. You were pissing into a Gatorade bottle on your couch. You were very close. It wasn't Gatorade. It was Coke Zero.

Trop 50. Wow. Wide mouth. Lot of room there. Because trying to pee into like a regular bottle like this. You don't stand, you don't stand a chance. And then there's that gauge. You got to be Wahlberg for that.

Then there's that gauge of how quick it's filling up. And you can tell by how warm your hand's getting. Yikes. I've lost that in a driver's seat a couple of times. Dropped a bottle? No, I was peeing. This was one time I was leaving the Raven Lounge. I stopped at Wawa that used to be over there on Film on Ave.

Know it well. And Busselton. Film on Ave and Busselton up there in Northeast Philadelphia. No, I don't. They don't have a bathroom. This is before Super Wawa's. They do. But they don't want you using it.

Yeah, they don't have a public bathroom. So you're at a pee real bad. Real bad. And there's like nowhere you can pee on the salt. Like I would have got jammed up. I would have got like a public, you know, urination type deal. And so I peed at some sort of soda bottle or a Wawa iced tea bottle. And that didn't.

I mean, man, all over the seats of the Montego. And then I had to drive home and it was. Were you doing it while you were driving? No, I did it in the parking lot. Okay. Yeah. Did you throw the bottle out? No, I saved it and had it.

Yeah, I threw the bottle out. Yeah, but it was not a not a not one of my best. Where was the Trop 50 bottle? I had taken it to sleep with me because I was sleeping on the couch because he needs he needed someone in the room. Not anymore. Now he's a big dog. Was it empty?

Yeah, I might have been a, you know, a couple of mouse swigs in there. Why'd you take it with you to bed? I had something to swig on. I think I was, you know, a couple of swigs. What kind of, what was the consistency of the pee? Some pulp, mostly pulp. No, as you know, I'm a no pulp man. I strained it.

Was it, was it pee pineapple, pee cranberry? What are we talking about? Yeah. So it was just straight Trop 50 peed in there and it was like, as I was doing I'm like, well, this has to make the podcast. It was one of like. I think that's two garbage moves right there. If I, if I, if I must interject.

I'm listening. Bringing orange juice with you to bed. It's all we had. What? Dude, warm orange juice. Come on. It wasn't warm. It wasn't, it wasn't cold.

I finished it while I was sitting on the couch. Okay. And then I laid down and then it was like, you know, there was like that much in the, I was done with it. Maybe if I would have woken up at three in the morning, I would have wet my whistle a little bit. Sure. You know what I mean?

Those days. At that point you just need, you just need moisture. Doesn't matter. I can drink the peed that way. Warm ginger ale in the middle of the night, nothing wrong with it. There's nothing better than in the middle of the night. I don't do it anymore, but I used to back in the day. I was like, hot the fucking air condition of my mom's house sucked.

So in like August, it would be 5,000 degrees upstairs. And you just come stumbling down. You were like high school or whatever. Just like fucking, you know, in a hay sweaty, you're fucking ringing your next all wet and drawn out. And just getting like a cold. Jesus Christ. A cold bottle of fucking, a cold two liter, a Coke or something.

Night night. Really wet the fucking whistle. Yeah, I'll put you down. I was all right. I have severe stomach cramps right now. Okay. Then we want to place an over on their bed on if he has to remove himself to go to the bathroom.

And if so, what minute will that be at? I'm going to put it at 42 and a half minutes. Okay. What are we at now? Just so I have a benchmark. We just hit 20. Okay. On the recording, not necessarily the episode.

All right. So we're just saying we're about 17-ish. I'm going to say you don't make it past 47 minutes. Well, I got news for you. I shit my pants. I'm like the Hulk. I already shit my pants. I don't think it's coming from that direction.

You think it's coming out? You're pausing your cookies, as they say. Yeah. Dude, if you puke in here, we're going to have to move. And I'm going to fight with the landlord at the moment. I throw up right here right now. You're upset with me? I asked him.

I'm not upset with you. I'm upset at this situation. I'm literally doing this and leaving for two weeks so they can steam clean this fucking place. Biohazard. Get those guys. Get those guys or monsters in here. A little army guy comes out.

I asked Toby in the car. Nothing on that. I'm sorry. I was steamrolling. I apologize. I asked Toby in the car. I throw up in here. Are you throwing up immediately?

No. Oh, really? I think you're underestimated in how quick I'm out of here. This is all, this is a dead zone to me. This is all, this might as well be Chernobyl. Never using the computer again? No. Really?

It's a good way to get a new laptop. I don't know. Only puke down once, folks. That's mine. That's mine. I told you, growing up like Jeff Goldblum. We had a kid who could puke on demand. What?

Yeah, it was pretty fun. Jesus. At the time. You just go, Scott, puke. Seconds. I don't know. I don't mean, I don't know if he's still alive at this point. Yeah, that's not good, man.

Yeah, he could just pull the fucking cord. This guy's going to trick that esophagus? What the fuck? Yeah, pretty wild. Foley hit me with one that I haven't heard in a long time because he was flat ginger ale to settle the stomach. Was that, did your mom do that growing up? Ginge, for sure.

Ginger ale, we didn't have ginger ale clear liquid so we would do Sprite as well. Dude, soda as remedy is so trash. Dude, Sprite in the 90s, we might as well be a health elixir. I'm telling you Sprite. Oh, God. Dude, that was a health drink where I came from. I'd be drinking that on the side of the fucking soccer field.

Yeah. And in the South, any time you got a headache, it was get you a can of Coke. Yeah, the sugar will level you out. You need some sugar, some caffeine, which you need. Yeah, some of that BC. Do you ever use BC? The powder, the aspirin powder they have down there in the South?

It's real hick shit. It's aspirin, but already crushed up. Yes, in the fact. I do know what you're talking about. Civil war type shit. I fucked that, dude. Dumping it in a bullet hole. Get the fuck out of here.

In the factories in North Carolina, they would have a thing called the dope cart where it was like a snack cart that would come around and they would give you coax and they would pour BC powder into the coax. And now how would you know that from your experience on the factory floor? My grandfather was in textiles.

Oh, it's pretty good. All right. What was he doing in textiles? Owning the company. I was going to say, you don't say, when you're in something, you're the financier. I'm the founder of Florida for God's sake. The original Florida man.

Yeah. I wouldn't say my, you know. I think in textiles is the way to go for the owner of the business. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. I'm saying if you're on the line, you go, I'm in textiles.

No. You're in whoever hired you. You're a debt. Yeah. So are you. Check out the Patreon. Let's talk about athletic greens. AG1.

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What do you think? Let's do it. Gang, as you know, when you sign up for the old Patreon there, you get the, you get a question. Red, red. Oh boy. Red on the air. I apologize.

That one pocketed my butthole. Man. Talk about talk about what's that? What's that therapy? Immersion therapy where like, if you're afraid of planes, they throw you out of one. That's what this episode is for me. I'm afraid of anything inside of you.

And now I'm fucking, I'm looking down the barrel of a gun. He's got a bunch of Foley running around. Do you just stay there like that? It's Batman reference. Going to the well in the movie reference is too much. I'm ill. Anywho, let's turn him and burn him. All right.

This one, this is from Kimmy Clams. I don't know. Almost got the big man. I spit take into it. Now, yeah, what's a puke take? What's that? Not a lot. Come on.

I didn't get it. It was quick, but I didn't get it. I get it now. All right. I don't get it. Doesn't take a lot for you to puke. Okay. It was quick.

It's a quick math. I'll buy that T-bone over there. Good job, buddy. Such a dickhead. You have to check out this week still. Whatever, this comes out like two days or a couple days, right? Yeah. The previous hard feelings is a doozy,

and then the previous AYG bonus is chicken sandwich type level stuff. Check it out. Bump the numbers. This is from Kimmy one more time, and I'm only bringing this, and we've talked about it, but I'm only bringing it up because it's something we do as a family now. Us three.

Go to Gallagher's. Is it garbage to have magnets all over your fridge of the places you visited? We do that now with the Tooty fridge. Yeah, we try and grab a magnet from everywhere we do a show. I think we have almost, we have most places, maybe not cities, but we have all the states.

I got Florida in my bag. Why? What do you mean why? Why is it in your bag? Because I didn't bring it out of my bag. What do you think I'm holding it? I don't know. It's my NFT.

Could you do that? Make that an NFT? I don't doubt it, but I say no. I say no. I say no. If that's all you have on your refrigerator, that's that's no, it's too kitschy. It's trashy.

It's not classy, right? Let's let's reverse engineer it. If you're saying it's not trashy, what is it? It's classy. What? And by the way, it's never like fucking,

you know, the Maldives or something. It's like fucking Wildwood. You know what I mean? Isn't that a lettuce? I don't know. The Maldives? Isn't the Maldives?

You made that up. No. You think it an end dive? No, I'm not. You read my checks, so I'm with you. Kept. Because what's the classy version of that? Real Putin vibes over here.

Yeah, the Maldives, the official Republic of the Maldives. In the Indian Ocean, subcontinent of Asia, situated in the Indian Ocean. Because the classy version of that. Southwest of Sri Lanka. Ooh, I've been there.

Would be like having like a decorative horn and being like, I got this in the Congo or whatever. You know, not like, I got this magnet at Merlin Beach. At the airport. Yeah. Yeah, no.

It's trashy. There was one lady I knew growing up that had it. Man, it weirded me out. I would just go. And what? They covered their fucking refrigerator and magnets. Oh, thank you. And it was like a family friend.

I remember every time I went over, I would just fucking side-eye. It just made me nervous. It was too much. Too much going on. It's like, lady, how do you fucking concentrate in this room? Fucking 10,000 magnets on this fucking fridge.

It was empty by the way. I wasn't even spending all the money on vacations. Yeah. How about running to the store and grabbing an order? Uh, grabbing an order. That's, yeah, I gotta go. We'll do, my mom will still say half an order. Got a half an order.

Yeah. But why is that? Did they order it ahead of time or something? We're trash. So what we're talking about, if you're not familiar. We're generational garbage. That's why.

I don't know if it's a regional thing. I feel like it might be like a Philly or regional thing. Toby, do you know this? I would get, I went to the supermarket and got an order. No, never heard that. Yeah. We'll still sell it. We go down the shore.

I just got down the shore. I'm going to run in the Acme and get a half an order. Get a half an order. Just like bread, lunch meat, milk, eggs, whatever. But an order would be like whatever you're getting. Yeah. Perked up on a Sunday when you heard that. You knew some fresh lunchie was coming.

French lunch meat, some fucking soft ass rolls and some blue fucking Gatorade. Good night. Let's go. I've heard the opposite of that in the UK. They say big shop. Like, oh, going down for the big shop. That's pretty fun.

And out. And out. That's a big shop, isn't it? I went to a big shop. Get for a big shop. Some crisp and some foos. I, because my mom will still, my mom will still be like, that was a $280 order.

Yeah. Throw that in my face. Sure. When I'll be like, she'll like. Who ate all this lunch meat? Yes, he would. Terry! Terry!

Get down here. The fat one ate all the meat again. I go to the store. They eat the whole box the same night. Terry! I was, I was. He's down there trying to watch the game like what the fuck. I was, I was infamous for where my mom would go.

Drop like two tree bills at the super fresh. And then I'd be like, let's get Domino's. And she would be fucking. I just spent $280 order. He didn't even unload the bag. He didn't even help me. You fat little bastard. I wanted the stuffed crust and breadsticks from Pizza Hut.

Man, when that car pulled up and then you had to go outside and bring those bags. That was like trench warfare for me. That was the worst. He was sending me to like. Brutal. What? Making fucking three or four.

I would leave whatever I could in the garage. I would leave it in milk out here, right? The soda's in his paper towel. Stay out here. What a piece of shit. Those plastic bags in the 80s and 90s would slice your wrists up like the fucking chopper. Yeah.

Brutal. Uh-huh. I was, yeah. Real. I think I've started my mom to keep a lot of stuff in the garage just cause my laziness in the 90s. Would your mom have to play defense about your, about your lunch supplies like on a Saturday and Sunday?

We weren't allowed to touch that stuff. No, like I said, single mom at that point, we had free rain. I mean, whatever door my brother didn't fucking blow off the hinges by just being him. We, she had, she had bigger fish to fry than the lunch. It was a real trend center. Yeah. And the lunch meat inventory in the meat drawer.

Man, if we went near it, cause you know, we had the variety pack of chips, you know, I'm talking to little bangers. Those didn't stand a chance. Yeah. We had those fucking, there'd be you who's or high C's lined up. And man, you got caught drinking one of those on a fucking, on a non-business day. See ya.

Hey! Hey, hey, hey! Hey, hey, hey! Lovely woman. Love the patty. This is from Foley's chin. Ever have your picture taken by a slot machine? That's fake news right there.

My chin doesn't know how to read or write. The third or fourth one. What's the question? Ever taken a picture by a slot machine? No. Assuming that you've been on some sort of winning end. Do you know anybody that's ever struck decent at a casino? I 100% do.

Your aunt, right? Your aunt, please. My uncle Mike God rest his soul. Gentlemen, hard worker, vice president, fucking man's man. Of America? Solid. Of a major, major commercial insurance company. Uh, I don't think it was much of a gambler.

They went away somewhere. It was somewhere in Arizona, I think. They got off the plane, they were going somewhere, walked up a couple of quarters in the slots, hit for like 15, 17, 18, something like that. G-hubs? Yeah. That's 90's cash.

That's all right. That's all right. But Uncle Sam's got a wet his beak on that. Uncle Sam's got a wet his beak? It's over 10K. Not bad though. I don't know anybody that's uh, I don't know anybody that's ever had that.

Yeah. Just that. And then I've told you we had that one lottery winner who won on my other aunt and uncles block. He won the Pennsylvania lottery. It's kind of a stretch. For a couple mil. Yeah.

A guy who lived on your aunt or uncles block? And you're repping that? I'm not repping that. You just said I got told you. We also had the guy who lived on my aunt and uncles block. They're the only two people close to the lottery that I would know or winning things that I would know. Yeah.

What about you? Yeah. I had a buddy out of college. He, I was still in college. He graduated a year older than me. He hit for like, he hit with his company. They did like a pool and he won like 2.8 or 2.7 mil. You quit?

Where did he quit? No. Went back to work the next day. What? Yeah. It was like showed up for a dollar a week that week. Bought a house. He had just got married and just had a kid.

Oh, that makes sense. Yeah. So he was like bought my house like bought a house and fucking, you know, chilling. That's clean living right there. Never have to worry about money again. Just go. You got the bennies through the fucking company.

You had a good like government-esque job type thing or whatever. Yeah. Not too bad. All right. This one's from Dylan. Haven't had one read yet. This one is boncos.

No, any old timers that put pepper in their draft beer to keep ahead on it. Do you know my fucking Godfather? Really? Oh, yeah. I've never even heard of that. Have you seen people put salt in their beer? Cause that's also fucking crazy.

But I've never even heard of that pepper in beer. I figured that would take the head away. Yeah. That's like the nose grease thing. Playing beer pong. Yeah. Big fan of that. I'll nose grease all day long.

Sure. It's weird. I would let my buddies nose grease the beers. You let your buddies nose grease your beer? Well, like if we're playing beer pong and my buddy nose greases it, that's all. I mean, you're, this is, this is wartime. You know what I mean?

There's a bigger, there's a bigger obstacle at hand. There's a mission at hand to win this beer pong game. Hmm. That's your fury. Yeah. It is the best job I ever had. It's weird. The old timers, when they want, they want like a make sure

there's a good head on that. They want a strong head when you pour the beer. There's no head on that. I remember as a server getting some real old schoolers. You know how when somebody gets a bottle of beer? Bottle of beer. Whoa. Isn't it?

Hello. Is that a big shop? Your buddy won the other night. Patty the baddie. Yeah. My buddy. I thought, I thought you were rooting for him. Sure.

All right. Relax. Obviously there's a feud. Man. He's got to tune you up. I don't know. I just basically talking. You said my buddy won the other night.

I didn't, I didn't fucking Johnny UFC. I don't know. I figured you like him. I've never heard Kimmy talk about the UFC. Yeah, he does. He watches it all the time. He goes to bars to wash it to wash it. Oh man.

Big man's big man's about to drop and you like that kid. You're going to get a standing 10 County. You keep slurring your words. You like that guy Tyson Tyler, whatever his name is. Tyson Fury. Tyler Chicken. Big fan. Yes.

He's a boxer. I know. Yeah. OK. I guess I'm Johnny. On the show, I guess I am Johnny UFC. You are. And you're also now Jerry Formula One too.

Because you were talking. Now you're getting into Formula One. I've watched some programs. Uh-huh. Yeah. Very European of you. Keep an eye on you. OK.

You're naming Ted Cruz. I mean, dude, you're watching. You're watching reruns of Colombo probably for the 7th time. So's Toby. It's so fucking good, dude. They think he's dumb. He probably watched him. He can't be.

They think he's dumb. He's actually smart. He probably watched it live when it was on with your family. It might have still maybe been on when I was a kid. You've seen a you've seen a live televised episode of Colombo. And one more thing. And you share my pants. Dude, I was watching an episode last night.

He's smoking a cigar at a hospital. Colombo plays by his own rules. Yeah. He's going to crack the case. It doesn't matter. He's always hiding in their house when they come home. He flicks the light. And one more thing.

The fucking door. Where's your warrant? All those cases got thrown out. I'm sure. Yeah. Unlawful search and seizure. God damn it, Colombo. I wrote it down to my no-cutty, you ready?

They did a bit where he's just he walks up to a crime scene. He's a little sleepy Colombo. A good good night's sleep. And he's just cracking a hard boiled egg getting egg shells all over the all over the crime scene. What the fuck is DNA? Colombo was all right. So do yourself a favor.

And what were we saying? What was the question? Your uncle likes salt on his watermelon. My uncle likes salt on his watermelon. No, this was pepper on the top of beer for to give it a to give it head. You ever have the old school guys? You pour them a they buy a bottle of beer and it comes with a glass and you go to I'll pour it because they know how to they know how they like it.

Ford. Yeah, we are. Yeah, I grew up never. If you all I I won't take a glass at a my dad was a bottle guy and every time he ordered a bottle. Micka Loeb shout out only an IPA would I need it in a glass and then they would give him a no glass. So I just thought that's what a man that man to me.

You were, you know, you were kind of a pansy. If you're walking around drinking your beer out of a glass of cane. I don't know those high glasses they had in the 80s. Those were draft. Yeah. But then the bottle should be in the bottle. That was that was a school of thought. I'm talking about the thin thin ones that the Pilsner glass.

Yeah. Yeah, they're good for stealing. But throw a couple of them in a bird's purse on a way out. See you later. Was Colombo a drinker or was he just tired? He has a drink every now and again out of the flask. No, never a flask. He had some gets offered some drinks.

He has them every now and again. Yes, I would. I was singing one more thing. It'd be fun to do a fake fad diet where you do the Colombo diet and you only eat or drink what Peter Falk eats on the show. So you'd get like a ham sandwich to cigars. There's 19 cigars in a hard boiled egg. Oh man.

This prostate must have been true to roof. Shout out to Colombo. Shout out to Peacock playing the old hits. Little phrase. Hey, TV land. Check back in, will you? Nick at night. What do we do?

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This one's from Andrew. Is it garbage to go on vacation in the same state you live in? Mind you, I live in Maine, not Bora Bora. I think, but Maine is beautiful. Going to the lake or something like that. Yeah, that's okay. I think a weekend getaway is all right. If you're going in the same place for like a week, if you're taking off work

and only going a couple hours away, I feel that's pretty tough. You think, well, I mean, a couple hours away, that's the Jersey Shore. I don't go, I'm operating within the question he, that's a different state. I'm operating within the reality he's created here. You live in Maine. You have plenty of, you know, beautiful waterfalls, wildlife. Wildlife. You got lakes, you have rivers, you have streams.

You got ocean. Where? In Maine. Really? Yeah. That's on the coast. I want to steal this from Joe List, but they have the most coastline of any Google that. And if not, that's going back to Joe List.

But California clearly has the most coastline. That's the big thing. Maine's this big. I think that's just what everybody thinks. I could be wrong. This is what he claims all the time. I'm checking it out now. Does Maine really have more shoreline than California?

It does. Suck my... What? Shetty ball. How's that possible? He's now, you have to defend it like you were the one who researched. So Maine is longer than California. More coastline.

That California's coastline runs the entirety of the state. Yeah, but Maine probably... Clearly Maine's bigger than you think it is. Huh. Well, you know what? It's trash now because he lives in Maine. So he can go fuck himself. How about that?

Maine's all right. I've been to Maine once. The blueberries are good up there right here. Living's easy. That's what they say. Yeah. They're Johnny Cakes. But I do that.

We can get away. Yeah. It beats California by 51 miles. How is that possible? I don't know, man. The sky's blue. Maybe there's islands. Water's wet.

Maybe there's islands that they're counting. No, it's coastline. Blows my mind. California takes up half of the country. When tracing closer detail, the length of Maine's scenic coastline expands more than 15-fold. The state's 3,478-mile tidal shoreline is the fourth longest in the nation, even beating out expansive states like Texas and California. There you go.

That makes my brain hurt. Now I feel like we're in a simulation. Hello, my name. Someone get me a sandwich. For vacations, I think the rule should be a five-hour drive or you have to cross a state line. That's pretty good. New York, you could go up to the Finger Lakes. They're beautiful.

You know. Yeah, they are. That's okay. How old are we? This is a family show, Darryl Trolley. If you found out for sure that we were in a simulation. I don't like thinking about that because I'm never going to stop thinking about it. Would you let me eat whatever I want?

What do you mean? If we found out we were in a simulation, would you let me eat whatever we want? No, because in this simulation, this is my reality was in the simulation. Whether where that reality lies, this is my reality. My reality is if you die, the podcast is over and my gravy train is parked in the lot. Hey, everybody, welcome back to the Joe Bozo experience. Are we in a simulation? Somebody give me some D&T and I'll figure this out.

Somebody give me a couple of Bud Lights. Let me get to the bottom of this thing. No glass. Some medium well-elk meat. I don't even know. I don't understand that. When people say we live in a simulation, I don't know what the fuck it means. Simulation where to me, there's something.

I don't know what that means. Well, in an arcade, that's what I think we're in an arcade. What am I, Wreck-It Ralph? What are we doing? Yeah, that's what I know. I genuinely, this is why our show is about macaroni and cheese and brushing your teeth in the shower. Because we're stupid. I can't wrap my head around that.

I genuinely, I feel like I'm a pretty smart man. Kevin's head, more coastline than Maine and California combined. Yeah. Google that. Yeah, and your waistline. Triple. Yeah, I don't know. I just can't wrap my head around that.

Plenty of vacation spots down there too. You go down to the south of the border. Go Kerplunking in that thing. Man, that was a pull. What's Kerplunking? When you sneak in those little holes and stuff. And the crevices, isn't it? I hate to do it to you.

You're so close. It's spelunking. You're thinking, you're thinking of the children's game Kerplunking. I am. But what's Kerplunking? Hey, we're going, we're going, we're going. Whatever, the joke. We're going Plinkoing.

The joke hit, that's all that matters. What's it, Kerplunking? That doesn't sound right. Spelunking. That sounds like something to get in the red light district in Belgium. Splunking, hold on. Let me see. Yeah, it's when you're crawling in those holes and stuff.

And like caves and crevices and stuff. To where you look at it, you go, nobody could get in and out of there. And then you like fucking hold your breath, count to 10. And then, you know, just so I don't take talk. That'll freak you. I would never do that shit. Oh, thanks. Hey, guys, everybody take that death.

Don't invite him to your splunking parties. Okay. The big man's out. I say, I've seen you get caught in a pullout couch. What are you talking about? Can't fit in the car. Uh, you fucking idiot. Stemulation.

This is from Scott B. We're in and out of a lot of hotels. I would like to know both of your etiquette. Ever just leave change for housekeeping when checking out of your hotel? No, but I would, I can admit. A lot of stiffen, I feel on your part. While you do tip a lot. I feel like that might be overlooked during the checkout procedures.

The only problem is when I'm with my lady, no, right? Got to come. I got to come correct. But there's no witnesses when we're doing these fucking in and out. It's fucking out of there at 6am. I don't got fucking cash on me. What can I do? You know, sure.

But when I do, you're stiffen them is what you say. So what do I do when I ain't got no cash? I stifle. It's a simulation. Yeah, tell that to the poor lady. You can't pay your bills. I didn't know that was a thing until this show. That's insane.

Tipping. You really? What are you? For the chambermaid? I had no idea. That's old school. It's not saying that long shanks. What do you tip a chambermaid?

Welcome to Leo the Lions. $10. I'll do up to 10. Depends on the cash because I got all the cash from the merch the night before. Oh, yeah. When it comes to those things, I assume how do I rationalize this to myself? You assume you want me to pay for it. I think that's where you're.

I think that's where you're. Well, the rooms are on the club. The club doesn't take care of that. You're not tipping a check out. You're not fucking. You're not signing. The tip goes to is cash in the room. I'm going to make sure that I always have it on me from here on out.

Hit me up the night before. I'll appreciate you and I'll technically have your cash. But I'm just spending anyway. Just I know you keep that tight on your hip. No, everybody. That goes all over a place. None of that comes home with me. That all gets fucking spent greasing this, greasing that.

You got the dormant. You got the fucking doorman we tip at the club. You got the fucking the waitress. She's handling us for bozos. We grease her pretty heavy. Yeah, we never missed that. Then just fucking, you know, damn it. She's got a stomach cramps.

Two things I can't stand. Stomach cramps, stomach aches and headaches. I'll take a broken bone. Finger in the butt. Sure. Busted nail. Okay. Pink eye.

I got to be honest. I never really did that until recently. Tipping? Tipping in the room. I just never again, we never really thought about it. You know, you just said you don't do it currently. Allegedly. No, actually.

That's what you just said. And also, I always thought, I think I didn't tip because I thought they worked on an hourly rate. If I'm like, they're getting like, you know, I don't know, 1250 an hour. I just figured they were stealing towels and selling them. Rootin' through my bags. The peak they get when I'm showered.

I just figured that. But then I looked it up, I think. I think I had this conversation with somebody. They get paid per room. They don't get paid hourly. Damn. They get paid per room. All right.

It's like contractual piecework or something. T-Bots, even get to the bottom of that. What the fuck is piecework? What are you talking about? Piecework. Like a nonprofit? Hey, you do $10,000. You do like, you're paid per what you do.

And I think it's gold. Well, from now on, we're making sure 20 a clip. That's a lot, I think. Is it? One night? I mean, we're literally in the room for 12 out, not even. All right. We have the room for $10.

But I could tell you this. $5 is something. Anything involving change as a tip is bad. Is a jerk off move. If it's say you leave a 10 and some change, that's fine. You got to come in the door with the 10. But just change is bad. The only place change goes is in the cup.

Yes. There you go. Does that work? And even then, you should be doing a bill. If you got money to eat out, fucking, hit them with it. What do you got, T-Bots? It seems like it's kind of all over the place. Probably depends on state area, the whole thing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hourly wages as high as $34.38 an hour and as low as $7. That's got to be like the fucking wall door for something. Yeah, yeah. And that's not a tip in me. That's not where we're staying. And then as low as $7.93 an hour, which is nuts. In 2022, that's great.

You can't even buy lunch with that. The fact that you don't. I mean, I know. One thing I'll tell you, I do always do. I clean up. I clean up from myself. Oh, yeah. I put all my towels in the corner.

All my towels in the one corner. Everywhere. I spread my seat. I mean, in the room, it was all towels. You leave. It's like the hangover. Yeah. I know how messy you are.

Pizza boxes. This is hearsay to conjecture. No, I just turned the room into a Best Buy the second I walk in. It looks like fucking radio. Tronics everywhere. Wires, chargers, fucking booster packs. Even pre-pandemic, how do you feel about them coming in and cleaning the room while you're staying there?

I just had it when I was in the Dominican Republic. I don't mind it. I feel a little violated. I don't like you rooting through my skivvies. It's nice after a couple of days. You got to be ready for them. It's nice after a couple of days. Yeah.

Let me get my shit together. I don't want you having to, you know, but in the Dominican Republic, they would always put two president day fucking beers in the mini fridge for you. So you come in, you hop out of the shower or whatever. Couple of cold woods. You're a punk one of them bad boys. Those old president days ain't too shabby.

They're little guys too. They were a little like fucking eight hours or whatever. Just wet the whistle. Yeah. Get you ready to go. Uh-huh. Something for your brush your teeth. Yeah.

All right. This is for a mope. F-T-L-T-H-Y-O-A-Y-K. First time long time. Have you or anyone in your, anyone you've known been to a laundry football league? I gotta tell you, those ladies were getting after it. The one, the one league where they, where they wear bikinis

and they have like kind of shoulder pads. That's this. They're all smoking and they're fucking hitting hard. Yeah. Dude, I forget who it was. It was like one, one coach was like an ex linebacker in college or something. He's like, you fucking go out there and fucking hit her.

And like, dude, they were just going out and clobbering chicks. It was a good fucking time. I would do something like that. For the sport. Coach. No, go to it. Oh yeah, go to it. Try out.

You got to support the arts. You know what I mean? Yeah, that or show and tell. Yeah. No, that's funny. I don't, they still can't do it, right? Yeah, why not? What do you, why can't they do it?

I'm saying, I'm not saying, I'm saying it still can't be a thing. It's had, that had to stop existing. Why you say that? Have you seen ads for it or anybody talking about it? Have you, have you been invited to a game? I've, I've seen clips on Instagram and stuff. Yeah, but I mean, he clips a World War II on Instagram. It doesn't mean it's fucking happening.

What's going on? I mean, it might be. I don't know what I'm just saying. You don't, it's not talked about. That was big couple of years ago. Very maximum magazine. Yeah. T-Bone, you got anything?

No, that doesn't seem to be, there seems to be a little bit of a rebranding done. I'm listening. Do they need sponsorship? Ooh. Legends football league. Yeah. That sounds Canadian though.

The legends football league. Should we sponsor a team? Should we sponsor something? Listen, I was going to bring this up to you. We should sponsor a little league team. No, too small. You're thinking, you're too, too small minded. Think bigger.

Okay. Super Bowl halftime commercial. Just me and you doing, doing eight minutes of the podcast at the half time. Buying the NFL. Something, maybe, you know, I would do like, I did, I did. Realistically.

We could probably, you know, if we sold our, if we sold our controlling interest in the podcast, we could probably get enough cash to get like a minor league baseball team in like, Mexico or Dominican Republic or something. And you make your money selling merch and fucking corn dogs. Really? You're telling me we could be majority owners of the Juarez Rockets?

The New Mexican rink rats? I tell you what, that might not be a bad lifetime there. Buddy, what do you think this is all going towards? I'm waiting till I reach my number and I'm cashing it in. I'm buying a fucking rinky thing stadium down there and I'm fucking being Jackie Moon of fucking Mexico City. Great you for a washer machine. All right.

This is from Chat Tittle. Don't think that's his government name. Do you ever avoid cleaning something for taste? My dad wouldn't clean the coffee pot because he said that's where the flavor was at. That's crazy. That's bad. That's bad.

That and then we have also gotten a lot. That almost made me throw up. Have you ever reused coffee grounds? I'm going to get the big man going. Do you like oysters? In a dirty ashtray. I think that's what might have got me. I had oysters on Friday and right now it's Sunday to break

the fourth wall a little bit. That sounds about right, right? 24 hours. No. That's not 24 hours. 48 hours. Something. I mean, you just keep moving the goal post to fight

the narrative. Yeah, 88 days. What do you want from me? 172 hours. I don't know. Something's running through me. I don't know what it is. Burger King Oysters never steered me wrong before.

My... The McOyster. Hey, good one, D-Bone. You're losing weight. You look great. That's patreon.com. I'm telling you, you got to check it out. It's a bit of a scene.

I'm not a fan. Now, will that be an episode you watch? No. No, that one's getting buried on. That one's going in with Hoffa. That's going to be under the 50-yard line at the Meadowlands. That's deathbed confession shit. My family, there were certain glasses where you couldn't

put milk in them because they drank beer out of them. And that ruined the beer. You're going to ruin a beer. Yeah, that was the only thing. Don't put the milk in there. You're going to ruin a beer. Even if you washed it. Really?

Yeah. Not what? I mean, a skillet maybe? Like a cast iron skillet? Yeah. That? The coffee pot. That's crazy.

That does make my fucking blood run cold a little bit. That's where the... You're supposed to clean it with like vinegar and shit like that. Yeah. Also, we get a lot of times too. We get... I mean, we probably get this one weekly from patrons. So I don't...

Have you ever reused coffee grounds? That's... What? I've done it in a pinch. Same day. Like I would have like a French press. I would do the French press. And I wanted like another cup of coffee.

Oh, if you're pouring a hit. Just ran it through again and was like... A whole pot or just a little bit? A little like a half guy. Just to get some... Just to let the whistle. I got you. You know what I mean?

Wasn't my proudest moment, but it was also like... Fucking colder than a witch's tit in January. I'm not walking to fucking... Dunkies are the star-beesies to get a coffee. Yeah, that I can understand. But not cleaning it. That's nuts. Yeah, yeah, that's fucking...

That's too much. Clean that. Did your fam... We've had a couple of fucking tough-looking grills too floating around the shore. Where you open it up and you're like... All right, looks like we're doing takeout. I'm not fucking dealing with that.

Yeah. Pizza burger salmon. Grilling everybody's booze in. You know, and then it gets dark and you're like... Oh, well, it's been sitting out there for two hours. Just close the thing. That's not the first thing we do. We turn the grill and we blast that shit for like 10 minutes.

Of course. And then go out there. You got to, to use it. But I'm saying sometimes you do that. Get that cancer loose. You do a fucking pump fake. You take a peek and go... No, thank you.

Fuck. Oh, yeah, I know what I was going to say. Did you or any member of your family or any friends' families reuse like bacon grease and stuff like that? Like where it was in a coffee can and then they would ladle it out into the thing to cook stuff. But for like lard-esque type stuff.

Yeah. No. That would make your house smell like shit. Trust me. Yeah. My family never did it, but I had one friend whose mom did it and it always smelled like a Kennedy fry chicken in there.

It was just a tough look. Yeah, just like triple fried grease and stuff. You'd almost want to gag. Yeah. Well, my mom does is she'll do... She'll put it in a coffee can. Straight down the sink for me. She will at times.

But she used for the procedure for a long time was coffee can in the freezer. So it would harden. And then she would throw that out. Oh, that's pretty good. Yeah. Or like she would just go dump it in like the fucking backyard or whatever.

But most of the time, just hot water and a garbage disposal. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck the grandkids. You know what I mean? That's their problem. You guys forgot the plumbing in 20 years.

Oh, yeah. Fucking hell. Especially with the garbage disposal. Everything went down there. Dog shit, the dog, whatever. Yeah. Didn't matter. Mm-hmm.

Fuck outta here. I got this. This is the thing I was thinking about. I was late today because I was walking Hans and he wasn't pooping. Hence why I was late. I had this fucking little shit out. See how jammed up?

Little metamucil maybe. Nah, just, you know. Is he getting enough fiber? Yeah, he's doing all right. But is he like a cigarette after a dump? What's his deal? He doesn't, but he watches me while I have one while he dumps for sure.

I'm there catching heaters out front. You ever catch wind in that? My smoke, my burning number is true to roof. I gotta tell ya. You ever catch wind in that when you're standing over top of him? Nah, that's all right. But it's tough because you gotta be Johnny on the spot

with the treat to make the connection that pooping outside gets me the treat. Mm-hmm. It can't, there can't be that much lag time. So you gotta fucking imagine, imagine taking a deuce and someone shoving a brownie in your face. It's a stressful situation for the little guy.

You quick with the grab? I mean, not quick, but you know. Here's a question. Have I left it? Be honest. Stop. Okay. Have you left it?

I haven't. My wife has. Really? She forgot. She's like, I got, she did. She told me. She's like, I forgot. I got so distracted.

Forgot bags? No, she just forgot to get it. Okay. You call my fucking, you call the fucking foreign investor a liar? Um, but we have what we call poop alley. There's this like street that no one lives on. There's this street no one lives on.

Like I said, where they just broken all those cars because there's nothing on it. That's poop alley. They broken all the cars. Where dog shit? No one's got eyes on you if you're leaving it. You know what I mean? Bright lights, big city.

Poop alley. Because someone breaks into your car. I mean, if you're, if you got to feel pretty bad about yourself when you walk back there the next day and you're, his dump's still there. Talking to me? Yeah. I didn't leave it.

She said she forgot. You forgot. And also it's like, of course, whatever. I mean, you know, no, I always pick it up the one time. I yesterday, he did take a diesel and I was out of bags. So I did the appropriate thing. You put it in your pocket. Keep these out there raw dog in it.

The fuck. Like a gentleman, I took it home and put it in the toilet and flushed it. They say that's what you're supposed to do. No, you're supposed to bury it so you can grow a poop tree. On poop alley. Poop alley lined with poop trees. No, his problem is he, I have it.

So we went over and I had my, I had my wife go to the deli. I needed a water. So she bought a water, got the plastic bag, did it that way. Cause those deli still give you the plastic bags. You can't use the fucking those like see through those tree hugger, John. Yeah, man. They'll have a handful of fucking wet, wet turds.

Target bag ain't going to help you now, boy. Good old fashioned plastic. But what was I saying? I forget I got lost. Oh, dog taking a shit. Poop. But then he won't go to, he won't walk to the, cause he's going, yo, I'm done.

Let's fucking, let's high towel it out. Back to the house. Yeah. And it's usually right out front. But like a half a block down is the trash can. But like I genuinely can't get them to the trash can. He just fuckers. You don't pick them up.

I will if it's like real hemmed up. But I just, I can't bring poop into my apartment. That's it. Yeah. Right. That's insane. Are you crazy? My wife was like, Joe, just throw it out.

I'm like, we're not free. Throw it out. We're not bringing poop in the fucking kitchen. I'm making a fucking bull and A's and I got fucking Cleveland steamer next to me from a, from a fucking shepherd. I said, no, we're not doing that. Yeah. That's no good.

Yeah. You never bring it back into the house. No, no, no, no, no. Never. Man. Yeah. I would just give it a, give it the old college toss. Dude, it was six o'clock this morning and I'm doing the

straights are empty. And it's a dude. It's about 35. It's about 35 feet from me. And I did. I was literally lining it up and Ryan's on the 18th green neighbor walked out. I was like, Hey, Kevin and Hans.

I'm like, Hey, no, it's about to be an airborne turn. But I didn't do it. I picked them up and brought them. But then he starts fucking. He's getting to be pretty big now. He starts fucking. If you pick them up, you got to get them in here before he gets too big.

Please. The same thing about you. You still show up. You said you were going to bring them in, bring them in so we can see him. I know, but I can't just bring them in. What will they do? Hold fucking eat everything.

Oh, really? Yeah. He's malding. Excuse me. They call it malding. What you guys do in your apartment, your business. You know about that. All right.

Let's see here. Let's do one or two more. And we're going to wrap it up. Fun times here. I apologize for my illness. The mental is what you're paying for. Let's be honest. Yeah, emotional is what you get from Paul.

Your Uber driver picks you up in a pickup truck garbage. Get the fuck. I'm not getting in that car. I had it. And it was an Uber pool. And I had a city. No, it was in Atlantic City. And we were going.

I was got. You're riding, bitch. I didn't. What are you not? I didn't ride, bitch. I think the guy was in the back. I think it might have been a dual, like a quad cab. What the fuck are we doing?

I think there was three of us. I think there was two in the back and I was in the front or vice versa. Yeah, it's Atlantic City. Uber's dude is lawless. And it was Uber pools. And we had to get, we were both going to Wildwood. So we fucking split an ooze.

That was like 80 bucks. And I am at that time. I ain't have it. Yikes. Yeah. No, I would, I would dip. Well, in the suburbs, there's in New York, there's the rules.

It has to be a car from the last six years. They're typically Toyota Camrys, Honda CRVs, fucking minivans, whatever. Honda Accord. Honda Accord. But in fucking, you know, rural Pennsylvania, it's just Steve's fucking car. You know what I mean?

It's lawless. Why open? I would lose it. Yeah. Let's see. Hit me. Talk to me. This is from Dan.

What do you got? How do you cut the film on a TV dinner? Do you slice it once with a knife or stab it a bunch of times with a fork like a gentleman? I feel like we just talked about this. I think we might have. Yeah, I asked you guys your procedure for plastic on top of microwavable things.

I go both. I can go either way, depending on the, depending on the instrument, depending on the, well, what I'm looking at. Mm-hmm. Some of them pull back and seal. Very nicely. I just want you to open it.

I like stabbing it, though. It's way funner. It is. You hear that pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. Yeah, you get something like the tomato sauce on the fork. What's the factor, 75s? I don't think any of that bullshit matters. No.

It's just needs some sort of venting, I believe. Yeah. And I did a lot of R&D on the fork, poke holes versus the slit. It's all the same shit. Yeah. Now, do you ever put those in the oven? Those dinner?

Can't put plastic in the oven? I think you can. No. I'm pretty sure you can put those TV dinners in the oven. No. Well, that's crazy. We're going to the, we're going to the well. That's how you wind up with a kid with a giant bald head.

Yeah, there's shit. I got served a TV dinner once, and it was the last. This guy, this guy eating 3M for dinner, huh? Old DuPont Danny over there. This guy. Have you guys ever had a banquet microwave dinner? God damn right we have. Yeah.

Pretty much all frozen meals can be cooked in the oven. Wow. This includes breakfast, burritos, waffles, entree meals, pasta, burgers, or Popeyes. There you go. Love a Popeyes. I think that's the preferred method. That's the best method, so it's not all fucking close.

Well, as a kid, we didn't microwave our TV dinners. They went, they did go in the oven, but there wasn't a. What am I, a jerk off? They didn't keep the plastic on there. Yeah, of course not. Oh. Yo, fucking bozo. Yeah.

I stand corrected. Thank you. Gang, we will return in a week's time. Oh, it'll be like, there's like episodes come out every two or three days. What are you talking about? We'll return. It's your first time on the program.

In two or three days. All right, later. Love you. Peace.