Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Stavros Halkias is Back!

Episode Date: December 11, 2023

Are You Garbage presents stand up comedian and podcast host Stravos Halkias! You Know Stavros from Stand Up Comedy, Stavvys World, This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von, The Joe Rogan Experience, H3 Podcast, Bertcast, Whiskey Ginger Podcast w/ Andrew Santino and his new special "Fat Rascal" OUT NOW! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! NEW TOUR DATES: https://areyougarbage.com/ Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/ PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Ladder Life: https://www.LadderLife.com/GARBAGE Aura Frames: https://auraframes.com/garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

gang the last chance to see the RU garbage live show is upon us to mix a stand-up comedy plus you play the little a YG with the crowd yeah the last shows of the year are December 14th in Washington DC at the Howard theater get the homies get the Boses let's see you there then we're doing two ones already sold out in Philadelphia to film or limited tickets left for the second show at the film where that will so let's get those tickets on party, maybe. Scoop them up. Love yous. Welcome to another exciting edition of, Are You Gobbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals, or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.

Hey, everybody out out there and welcome back to everybody's new favorite podcast. This is our you garbage. Oh, yeah. So I will show you sit down your favorite comedians and we find it at the girl to be classy. Yeah. To just a big old piece of trash. Shush, shush, shush. I'm your host H Foley coming at you on a beautiful day.

We're out back here at Toodies in the new edition. We're in full Christmas swing here. Sure. Call me with the missile toe coming out of the shower Okay, he would have shocker Jesus, okay, all right my co-host is coming at you right next to me He is the CEO of our you garbage. He is an international business man with ties to East German television Twenty keeps telling me giving up her KJ Kevin James Ryan. What up gang. Thanks for tuning in as always Please make sure you're right you subscribe on iTunes full video available on YouTube as you know those numbers are true to rip cooking

Then obviously the guy got to tell nobody in history in the greatest website of all time WWE WWE Patreon So are you garbage gang get over there? It's a goddamn party and have a nice quick shout out to our producer extraordinaire The old magic man makes us all look good works works the ones the twos, the threes, and the fours, he crosses the tees, and he dots the eyes, give it up for T-bone McScruffins, Toby McMullen, everybody.

What a boys. What a pal. We got Don Stavvy in the building, baby. The fucking kids here. I work out. I ran into this guy out in a story with a couple of goons all wearing heads at those sweatsuits real nice.

We were a couple of apps for the table. Stop. No, it was like a super producer meetup. We had your boy, we had Eldis, we had Sean of... Good guard dog? Yeah, you told me. We had three people who are responsible for millions of downloads a week. And it's just three fucking days.

It's just three. It's just three. It's three guys who are for sure. It's really high. Three just fucking morons and sweatpants. And it's like so many people rely on these mother fudgers for their entertainment. And they could go wrong at any moment.

I really, we were walking back. I was like, wow, that's crazy. You guys all should have meet up at the same time. You should be like, you know, like the tops of state. Of course. You got to take separate flights. You should be like, yeah. Meanwhile, you're standing on a street in the story. You're trying to break a $5 bill.

Getting along here ain't lying because we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean incredibly special guests back with us again today. The kid does what we call in the business numbers A lot of Numbie he sure does a lot of thick it gets a lot of views and he's got a brand new Netflix special out right now A title fat rascal give it up for the one the only Stavros how cute everybody there he is The fucking kid you motherfuckers are real broadcast There he is. Wow, the fucking kid.

You motherfuckers are real broadcasts. Look at this. It's more intense. Yeah. That's fucking two and a half straight minutes. It's just introduction, high energy. That's fucking insane. Thank you, buddy.

I love this, dude. Yeah. You guys start the show so that if you showed this episode to like a senile old family member, they would buy that you're like a radio. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah, they'd be like, god these are the reason the radio he's a newsman my fucking bike I started like what's up you have your leg up on the armrest your gruntful show you are getting real relaxed over there

what's the guy's just like eating grapes though yeah we we got my friend over here. He's fucking cool What is the what's the budget on the sweatsuits these days? How many you hold control is it it really is at a control? But no one wears them quite like That's the thing I do feel like it's a it's the kind of investment I have to make sure One you call it an investment, you have to do it. It's a game write off.

It's a write off. I wear it to podcast. I wear it to perform. Sure. No, dude, it's like when you're a fattest shit, right? I'm listening. You really, boys, take some notes. You're a singing sister.

Fellas get the notepads out Wipe the catch up off them first and then take a little take some notes You really I've been a classic In when it gets cold tracksuits when it's warm Hawaiian shirt That's easy peasy Peasy Those are the two there are two that's the two types of clothing that look better 2x to 4x Yes, everything else looks horrible. You're not wow.

You've done your research right? Come on, dude. A guy run a fucking skinny guy running around in a Hawaiian shirt. It's like, I hate it. I'm not evaded when those when those got real popular with the skinny guys. It's out. Damn it. I just started kicking them.

Yeah. Yeah. And then the same thing with the sweatsuit. Sure. Unless you are on a soccer team and you are on like an Indian run for the team, it's like you're not allowed to wear a tracksuit. Yeah. That's fully how I feel.

I agree. It goes from like too comfortable to elegant. Like you look like you look, it's part of who you are. Exactly. I feel nice. I feel nice. And then you know, this is a nice middle ground, a nice little, yeah. Nice little flying.

You look good. Nice looking nice today. Nice button, no tea, right? What's that? No tea. Yeah, I can see his belly button. I like the titties hang, for sure. Cause they were giving me a breathe. They were giving me shit, cause I got a couple car heart sweatshirts and they are a nice little cover up too.

For the big guy butt. Absolutely. He got a rock them with no tea. Mm, sweatshirt. He's roll dog in a hoodie which is you are in dangerous territory. That's a lot of you can lift the breast up and just avalanche of sweat come up over that. That's where you're in a little in trouble. I would. It doesn't feel comfortable with the t-shirt though and I can't do the white shirt.

That's an error with t-shirt. That's a t-shirt error. That's not a sweatshirt error. You need a stop in your corner. And you need more comfy T-shirts, buddy. Do you do the tank tops? Oh, I'm a big tank guy. Are you?

I'm a big tank guy. I never know what to do with the bottom of them because they're like, it's like the rest of the condom down there. Because I can't talk to them. You can't talk to them. That's a power look. That it pulls it down. Can I be honest? Yeah. I would really respect if you talked it.

But you would have to go very short shorts. Yes. You'd have to have there is a little, you can walk the line of just athletic enough fat guy. But I feel like you said good bite of that years ago. Oh, while I feel like that's the, I stood at the pier and watched the sale of it. He can still pull off like old linebacker vibes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They used to be in shakes.

Exactly. Yeah. They still got a good frame. I have weirdly large calves, you know. So it's like, if I'm wearing short shorts and the calves are glistening, I can kind of pull it off a little bit. It depends, dude, depend on it a lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But I'm, I'm much, we're talking like, we're talking like, you know, JV football coach, we're talking like, you know, like, not, yeah, but I'm just I'm much and we're talking like we're talking like you know JV football coach We're talking like you know like not Jim teacher kind of you know teaches one health class No one leaves with any information That's kind of the look if you're going if you're tucking the tank. Yeah, honestly you would need a whistle and a cap An unbranded cap and then you're Can't say anything on it. It's got to be just plain navy blue. Get a clipboard.

You'll be all right. Yeah, because Gandalfini hit a certain point in sopranos where his belly was like perfect. And it looked, the shirt looked good tucked in and the belt was just slightly on that angle looking down. Yeah. It was like if he lowered his sunglasses. I know. That's what the belt looked like.

No, I know we're in the same position where our fitness goals are slightly less fat guys than us. It's like less fat, not in shape guys. I mean, if you're quote, gendolfini is at any point for a body. That's not great. That's like in in fully wildest imaginations. Sure. Yeah.

It's season one Tony Supran. Wow. Season one. Season one, the pilot is skinny money. Yeah, the pilot is a good looking guy. The pilot is like, oh my guy. Ronin and he looks awesome. Yeah, give me season four. I'd be happy. Four. Yeah. I'd probably go

three just if we're really shooting for the stars. And I'm at season I'm at season. I'm actually I'm at like you just had a big dinner on his balcony in Italy, and he ain't waking up from it right now. I'm past that. I'm, that's where I'm at. I'm trying to make it through these last.

December, once I'm done this promo run, if I, if I make it out, then it's like, you know, we're going to try and get, try and get, try and get it back, try and get the season three. P tighten it up Yeah, that is what that is how fat you it's funny That's we've discovered a new scale of fatness. Yes, is when you're five is the season of I'm gonna fucking put up a poster and like I'm gonna track my weight loss journey through my season one and my season You know I'm at season four episode three right now I'm at where he's getting where.

He just killed Ralph. Hey, look good. Yeah, that is a beauty. That's a place to be for sure. I'm at another, this is a new, I realize I'm at a different level of fatness now where it's like, I'm too fat to post black and white pictures of myself. Why? Because people will assume the worst is how.

Oh, shit. If you see a black and white like I can't people like oh I just He was a dinner No black and white photography for I got I'm not as away from sepia tone I got my wife photography for I got my daughter's away from sepia tone. Yeah, he might as well be on the back window of an escalator. Yeah, all right, peace top.

Yeah, Angel Wings coming out of your head. So we've got to get it together. But you know, you boys know you've tasted the finer things and it's tough. It's tough to bounce back. Oh, dude, I'm an appetizer guy. Like a cold seafood tower. I'll tell you that. Nothing wrong with that. The problem is I like to taste. So I'm like, I see an appetizer guy. Like a cold seafood tower. I'll tell you that.

Nothing wrong with that. The problem is I like to taste. So I'm like, I see the apps and then you go, you have like one or two, you're sitting there with four or five people. You have one or two in mind. I will do this and then that and then someone goes, and that. And you know, I ever do in that might as well get that. And then you're like, fuck.

Of course. Kippy's come up with a theory. I have a new theory. Let's hear it. I am, I think we should get rid of the main course. Just do all apps. You go out five people, drinks, order eight apps, and then if you still want more order to order two more apps.

You're just describing family style eating. This is the standard in Europe. It's the different of the dishes though. It's the difference of the dishes.. It's the difference of the dishes. The appetizers are always the best thing. You have, you think you invented topus is what just happened. Yeah, but yeah. Oh, God.

It's just how fucking white trash you are. Instead of bread, we press it down real fine and put garlic on it. You know, but tap the stuff. Five different types of chicken wings is topus. I'll do five medium, five, five mile. Five of the homicides. No. But no, no, I'm with you and I totally, that is how to eat.

But do be. If you overeat on the apps, which we do, you're there and it's like, then they drop like a steak and I'm like, I feel like I'm forced to eat this and I'm sweating. I walk away. I have my stomach hurts. And by the way, you get a couple main courses. Yes. And you split them up. Love it. But no one does that.

Because when you're ordering, you're going, I want my steak, I want my... You got to break yourself of that. Oh, that's impossible. Stop it. I'm only a man. You only really want two bites of the steak. That's all I want.

It's what I'm saying, dude. You get a nice, you get a ribeye. I got no one's taking the fat cap. That's mine. Get the, don't even dream about that, okay? But, how's the nice up the rest? Sure. How's the nice up some nice more?

Take some mashed potatoes, throw them on there. Yeah, try this, try that. That's how, that is always how, that's how you got to eat this. Well, that's all we do. When we go with a group, if we do, we like a nice guy. Hold on, just for reference,

we came up with this theory in a margarita bill It was a flagship location The service was so slow that after we had all the app times like I can get the fuck out Yeah, let's wrap it up. I had three drinks. I had tasted all the apps fucking rock and roll feels horrible when the when there's a huge gap I was dreading the food, dude. It's brutal. He ate it. Yeah, of course.

Of course, that's already been. No, you don't need. Like imagine, imagine like that's like pausing, getting a prostitute. Yeah, imagine if she sucked you off and then was like, I'm gonna go chill for a half hour. And you had time to think about it. You had to think about it.

You're like, you're dick get soft. It's like letting your dick get soft in the middle of buying, you're like, I need to sneak go to church. Like that's what that gap, you can't have the gap. No. The main course has to hit in a perfect world, you did the last, I would even say, I like a little overlap,

because sometimes I like a little overlap. Who don't? A lot of people have a sauce that I'm like sure I want to do. Maybe I want to do my steak in this fucking always feel like a fact when you grab that ramic and off the off the

out the empty I was slapped the fucking waiter's hands when he tries to get the sauce away like no, no, I will be keeping this it's just real pale sir. You worry about that. I'm making a I'm making my own broth. I'm saving this bar.

I'm saving this barbecue sir for my dessert, sir. Please get your hands off it. I have a creme de lait coming. Dude, that actually happened to us in Greece. The first day that we were there, we ate at this place and they brought over a bunch of prawns, but they like table side serviced it. So they chopped the heads off, pulled them out of the shells

and put them on the thing. Then the guy takes the cutting board away. I'm like, well, what were you going with those? Like, they chopped the heads off, pulled them out of the shells and put them on the thing. Then the guy takes the cutting board away. I'm like, well, what were you going with those? Like, you want the heads? I was like, can't want the fucking heads. It's Christ. That's awesome. That's awesome.

So those things dry. So these were already grilled and they took, they were already grilled and they brought them out and then they, and they, they took the heads off and the tails off and then, you know, played in them with the two big spoons. Interesting. I love that one. Okay. Can I ask you something? When did you pick up prawns?

When did you start calling shrimp prawns? I know for a fact growing up you didn't come from. No, never, but these are the bigger ones. It was eating chest pieces. Yeah. I'll take two more bishops please. Hey, thank you. We? That's interesting. Yeah. It's starting to make a lot of you learning prawns. Just is such a I mean, they're different to trim. I think it's I think Australia is just called No, no, they're bigger. I don't know about it. No, I'm telling you they're bigger because I started getting them Uh, at K-Clydes in a story. Okay. I still think

I just a picture him. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but there's got to be some sort of difference. I would really don't think there is Shrimp have one pair of legs that include claws at the end, but prawns have three pairs with claws. Oh look at that Incorrected. I mean fully had no ideas What but as a man I will say I am wrong mine had I was in a wheelchair. That's all right. If you go out to eat with your, you know, who's like, if you are going out to eat, you're going out to eat with your, your boy, who you going out to. Yeah, I have a crew.

Definitely, you know, eldest who you got to eat. Sure, your boy, your super producer. Are you doing dinner on the road after the show? Will you go get a nice bike? Oh, what's that like? Were you getting catering sent to the, yeah, it's tough. Now, like, this last run has been has been a like one show kind of theater run Which is great, but I have I've been trying to be a little less little less slutty sure

But well, you know when we when we were in Baltimore had a big big run of shows in Baltimore Yeah, congrats Yeah, that was crazy. That was crazy And it was you know my hometown so I have like a couple of my, you know, my best friends, my family, whatever, the day before everybody that, and everybody that like, I have L this, I have my buddy Ben who directed the special, Ben O'Brien, and my friend Christina, who kind of just does like logistics stuff. And you're like, people I've known for, Ben is the newest friend, and I've known him 15 years. And I expect. So, stop he's sticking with the crew. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No new friends with some.

No, no, no, no, no, absolutely. Make sure nobody's wearing a wire. Absolutely. Yeah, yeah, I know I can trust them to long to money for me. I know they'll take a gun charge if we get a hot guy. Here at the border, you know how, you know, you knew this is a possibility. Eldis, call your wife.

Tell your seer, and seven years. Need to re-luicing your corner. Absolutely. You are the only comic I could see sending envelopes of money to your friend's family. Absolutely, it's like an appada from the house. She gets a money, what do you want? Yeah, yes.

We'll take care of her. We get our couple of no-show producers. She'll have a couple of no-show clip editing jobs. We make her the like on pay we get our couple no show producer a couple no show clip editing jobs. She's sitting on a lawn chair on front of a theater show. Where to say it would just. Yeah, so we'll just you know we'll hit a yeah we'll do just we'll just really what you described will go crazy on the apps and just like everybody gets a little

something we got a talent so that's a little less of a family style. Sure. Situation. It's kind of like everybody gets their own. Yeah. A little pasta, but we'll, we'll, you know, whatever. Yeah, it's, it's exactly what you're, you're scoping a good place before because like sometimes we'll, I obviously, we're doing the same thing. We're like one nighters in out. And so it's tough, especially if you're in, you know, Cleveland at 11 p.m. on a Tuesday. It's like you're, you're a trouble.

Yeah. No, we'll scope a nice place out. We'll scope it. If we have some time, we'll definitely scope a nice place out and like really, really do it up. And that's the thing. It's like, there's many app. It doesn't fucking matter.

I just want to get to the point. If the team's eating, we're, you know, if it's like a designated dinner that's not just want to get to the point the teams eating we're you know Yeah, if it's like a designated dinner that's not just let's get some Not just eating yet. Yeah, we're going to dinner. It's good. Yeah, we're gonna we're gonna get there for sure We'll get the creative way to put it we're gonna get the drinks we'll get the apps whatever the fuck I just want to get to the point where whatever town you're in whatever the best restaurant is you can say Hey, we close at 11. We're gonna keep it open for you. in, whatever the best restaurant is, you can say, hey, we close at 11, we're gonna keep it open for you.

Yeah, that's it. Lou, you just wanna get there. I think you can pick your spots with that. I think you can make it happen. I think you gotta, I mean, that's a problem with your show pizza pizza Toronto Slay and oblations. I know.

So trash oriented, there's not a lot of Michelin star chefs listen to this. We have one guy, he's a general manager at Applebee. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. How the cook's to give us five minutes? We have a bag's a general manager at Applebee. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. How the cook's to give us five minutes? We'll be here in a minute.

We have a bag of loose mots to it, you guys. It's a kid. He takes a minute of order on the way. Kept this is ladder. Shout out to ladder. Talking about ladder to life. Talking about term life insurance. All right, you're hanging stuff up around a tree.

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You get a second home run. It's a home run. Boom, pulling in a basement. I'll put tasteful nudes on there. Send them to your home. I'll tell you what, if it didn't let you upload new photos, I can say that's one thing, but it keeps going. It's a gift that just keeps on changing, man.

It's crazy. Hey, someone who's from last year. Listeners can save on the perfect gift by visiting oraframes.com's crazy. Hey, someone who's from last year listeners can save on the perfect gift by visiting or a frames dot com slash garbage. That's aura a you are a frames dot com slash garbage use promo code garbage to get 30 dollars off their best of frames terms and conditions applied. Oh, wait. Oh, wait. Yeah, you get there. I think you get their voice. Yeah, trying, baby. Yeah. Um, you know, we have shout out to we had to win Chicago professor pizza. You know that Yes, yes, he came blood pizza great pizza got a good Professor P. Mm-hmm damn, and then I assume you're picking up that check right?

That's a work. Come on. You got it. You got it. That would be funny. It's fun It would be so funny to be like yeah, you guys want to split this Be said, I'm like get whatever you guys want With the Venmo request. 1845. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It feels, that is the most like immigrant shit that I'm just like, I would be a, I literally would be offended if somebody tried to pay. And it feels good to pick up the track.

I'm building up for fucking when it's just your friends when it's like any, you know, you're saying. Who are you not picking up to check with? I mean, mostly you rich also. You go down, you know, who are you not picking up to check with? I mean, mostly you rich also. You go down, you go down, yeah, yeah. It's like, if they're, if they're also rich, then it's like, well, and it depends how good a friend you are, you know, you know, it's like,

let's say the three of us went out the dinner. I'd pick it up boys, sorry. I would have to pick it up. We would try. Cause there's two of us. There is, that makes more sense of like, that is true. We're only picking up one guy.

Well, if I bring eldest, you're bringing an author. I know, if it's just, I us. There is. That makes more sense of like, we're only picking up one guy. Well, if I bring Eldis, you're bringing an author. If it's just us, then yeah, I guess two to one, I'd fight you for it. Sure. I might do this. I'd fight you for it. And I might insist we go, if you did beat me, I might insist we go get some dessert that I pick up or something. I love that.

You know, it's fun. I like, I also like we weren't gonna go get dessert. Yeah. I'd suggest this is your arms. That's the thing too. Money, no money, especially waiting tables for so long. When I was a little kid, you know, my parents, they didn't do, they did all right, but they didn't do great.

But if we went out to dinner with like my cousins or something, my dad and my uncles Would like proper fight over the check no, no, no, no, no, no, yeah They were right over and then waiting tables like I was waiting tables in an NYU. They'd be like I didn't have this I don't want it. I'm not paying me this like what when did that culture? It's very normalized now because you'll go somewhere And they'll be like well well, how many checks? And you're like, just, he gets, he gets, he takes it as a personal offense.

Well, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you have flashbacks of being the guy of a waiter who has to do that. Yeah, it's fucked up. I mean, it's just like, and you're right, there is something to people who grew up rich that just like, I don't know, man,

it's not a very sharing thing. Where's the big girl poor? Everybody shares everything. You want to be the one who picks up the chair. It's also like some time. You aspire to that. Some people can't pick, like some people, you're like, oh, I got, like,

there were so many times where I had to be covered by a buddy. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. And then I'm like, hey, a month later, I'm like, you got me at fucking, oh, and I go, or something. Of course, of course, I'm gay. I'll get the Blorney's dead. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Shout out to a hand again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pay no other way around a fried mushroom up there. Yeah, yeah. No, I mean, and then, you know yeah, yeah, Pay another way around a fried mushroom up there. Yeah, no, I mean, and you know, I had like when I was in Baltimore, I had friends who like let me pay less rent because I was so course, yeah, of course, they were like, yeah, just live. You're a good hang like, you know, we want to stop.

Stavvy brings the vibe really was pay. I really got like a $300 month vibe voucher. I deliver balls more says that on the invoiced. And so I pick up every check. I mean, I like, that's the best part of... It's the best. That's honestly the best part of success this year has been like just picking up every check with my friends.

The fighting, there's not a lot of fighting going over with my family anymore. That used to be like, please, now it's not even like, everyone's just looking at their phones. When the check comes out, stop it now it's not even like a everyone's just looking at their phones. Yeah. When the check comes out. Stop it, it's good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's like, we wrap this up here.

I'd like maybe a slight pretend thing. I would reach, yeah. Like, you know, the classic like date thing where it's like, you want your date to at least like pretend. Are you sure you don't want to split? Yeah, pretend, you know what I mean. Yeah, my mom really leaned into that shit real quick. Yeah.

She put up a fight for about six months. Now she's halfway out to the car. Rip it in. She's ordering to go as the check comes in. No, no, no, no, one more to go, please. I want to feed the dog a skirt steak. She's grabbing two live lobsters out of the tank on her way out the door.

Henry, do you pay for these? I'm going to set these free. These two. Henry, do you pay for these? I'm gonna set these free. These two. I have a laundry list of people who have paid my work. And while we were fucking super poor struggling. And I've definitely gotten, I've made some pay

where I'm like, I've talked to them, I'm like, guys, I'm never going to be able to come up with the number. It would be, I cut a check, because it's just been, it was like a decade. Yeah. But like, I went to the Dominican Republic with paid for my buddy, yeah, took care, and I'm like, all right,

that's, I'm gonna have to do it in like events. Of course. Like, hey, I'll get this, I'll bring you here, we'll do this, and it feels nice to finally be like, which is, you really got the best of that trait. I mean, look, they were, they shouldn't have given you that much money. They were also poor. The odds of, of that paying off was so low.

So slim to nothing. But the fact that they got, what they got for their trouble was a depressed man on their couch. Yes. Very depressed. And you got, you get to see their smiles light up at the Dominican Republic. It's just so not fair. You were like a fucking cancer and you're also on vacation. You're not. It's a reason I get to go to the DR. I'm like, you want it? My wife's like, I don't like, I'll take back. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. You're not saying at the end of the pool watching him swim like a dad watching little look at him. Yeah. That's my brother. My

brother is on full scholarship with me for everything that I put him through. Oh, of course. Yeah, yeah. He lets me know again. That about covers it. Yeah, I think I'm at the pizza. Of course, of course. Well, you had the bread stick.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm getting it for my brother. He's like, I'm going to start cashing in some of those IOUs now. Of course. And you can for sure. Yeah. It feels good.

It's just so weird to be like, all right, well, here's $500. How you gonna like monetarily do it? I know, there's no way to do that. You just gotta kinda, oh, I think you're doing the right way. Events, gifts, covering shit that comes up, you know. I had a buddy that I owed $500 for about, it was Cassidy, wasn't it? No, no, that was back in Philly,

that was business. That's it. Cassidy had a joke about it, but his excuses, what you don't need it right now. He was doing good. That's a real dirt bank. Oh, do you know what I'm just gonna see in your bank? Yeah. No, I want my money.

He will send in my bank account. I owed my buddy from high school 500 bucks for about 10 years. And I can't every, yeah, I get you for about 10 years and I get you I get you I get you I get you Never fucking broke my balls about it once and then stop asking probably seven years ago Yeah, and you never asked for it as I always every time I see him and then I don't know It was like a year and a half ago. I hit him up as I had 250 Give me another week. I'll have the rest I hit him up, I was like, hey, it's 250. Yeah.

I give me another week, I'll have the rest. Yeah. Hey, do you have 300 bucks I could borrow? Thank you. Could you break 100? But no, I went over to his house, I was like, hey, I'm gonna stop by. I was like, all right, stop by. But over, I pulled the money out.

I was like, crap, I was like half crying. He's like, I'm not like, listen, you never broke my balls about this. I'd love you so much, you go. And he's like, I forgot I gave this to you. Yeah. By the way, do you have any idea how's like, I'm not like this. And you never broke my balls about this. I'd love you so much, or you go. And he's like, I forgot I gave this to you. Yeah. By the way, do you have any idea how, like, what inflation has done to that? I bought it at $8.

When was this? 10 years ago? This was, yeah, this was probably 15 years ago. 15 years ago, Toby, can you check 500, the, I don't need to do that. No, no, no, I'd love to know this. I'd love to know this. Won't you very much, Mr. Alkius.

I like this narrative. What's the money equivalent? To 15 years ago was what, 2007? Yeah. It's probably, you probably owe him at least like a big watch. It's a goddamn war on. It is. With inflation.

You owe him 260 bucks. God dammit. Maddie, give me a couple of weeks. Conflation you owe him 260 bucks Damn it Maddie give me a couple of weeks This fucking guy I thought you were gonna do something not you're not taking the D.R You're just giving him the money you owe him without interest You're giving him less money How about a couple of tickets at a philly show over that? Money, how about a couple of tickets at a philly show? Over that

Hey man over just zeroing him out. It's always been a dream to partially pay you back It's been hanging over my head for years Man, I didn't even think about that. What that in the team to do? Couple a YGT shirts Smooth that over. Give them some zippo style lighters. Oh, man. Fucking bastard.

You got that pretty goddamn quick. I'll tell you that. Take your head and fucking ready over there. Could have said the internet was down or something. Maybe like an idiot in front of my friends. Just a truly diabolical move Condolece rice game in the up guys a pro broadcast Man fucking pink miss

Big man down I love you so much. That's so funny. That's so you still coming up short. Over emotional just to zero him out. Thank you. I hit his mailbox when I backed out of the driveway, though. It's probably another 50 bucks I caused. Jesus.

Anyway, buddy, congrats on the special. Thanks man. That's what he said. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Yeah. thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Uh Netflix. It's out right now gang You got to check it out right now unbelievable very proud of it looks cool Like I said my buddy Ben directed it to Paramount in In Austin, you know, just got a couple. It's you know, you know You come to me. You know you're gonna get you're gonna get, you know, you know, you come to me,

you know you're gonna get, you should get, Facho's gonna get Dick Cho. Get Stovie, baby. You're gonna get a little immigrant humor sprinkled in there. You're gonna hear about times my dick didn't work. It's just, it's the, it's the, you know, you get it, you, some, you know,

some plays you just wanna go get a nice sandwich. Sure. And that's what this is. This is a nice chicken poised chicken. I'm gonna come down the aisle. Chicken, dude. Fried just right, nothing fancy, but done well. Yeah. That's my standup comedy.

You're not gonna have to think too much, folks. We are not trying to make points. We are trying to have a good time. I'm having a fun. Yeah. God damn. All right. I have a couple of questions that we, it's been a minute since you've been on the show. As there's have a couple of questions that we,

it's been a minute since you've been on the show. Yeah, it's been a couple of, you know, now constant questions that have come up that I'd like to pick your brain on. Please. You're getting dressed in the morning, right? You're doing socks, and then pants are pants and then socks. Hmm.

Pants and socks, I think. Pants and then socks. Pants and then socks. Pants and then socks. Wow, okay. I think the pen and the tacos, depending tacos. Yeah, I'm surprised with that. I would say, you know why? Because it is a big guy thing and it's the efficiency of socks and shoes.

It's the, if we're gonna go do that horrible, that horrible bending down. I'm putting the shoes where I'm in excruciating pain to get my socks on. I am also slipping my shoes on very fast in that same position. I do the bed. I sit like sideways on the bed, and like almost like I'm sitting half Indian style. Okay.

Do one sock and then spin around and do the other sock and then put the pants on. I sometimes I'll even go sock, same side shoe. That's nuts. Sock, same side shoe. That's crazy. I've been same side shoe. That's crazy. I've been experienced, you've called me in an experimental phase when it comes to socks.

Holy shit. That's you, that's you, you know. You know, but it also depends on what pants. I hold on to short, as many fat men do, I hold on to shorts. Uh huh. Deep. Into the center.

Deep, but yeah. You know, deep into the winter. So you know, I've decided am I gonna do sweats, whatever, and the socks kinda dip, you know. The socks the winter. So, you know, I've decided am I going to do sweats, whatever, and the socks kind of, you know, the socks go are paired with the shoe. You're saying, yeah, yeah, yeah, and shoes in the socks are the same, they're, they live in the same world in the world. Well, there's, okay, I'm sorry, let me be a little clear. There's two separate things here.

There is the shoes and sock, the efficiency of shoes and socks back to back. And then there's also the, if I'm wearing sweatpants or if I'm wearing shorts, I'm wearing sweat, if I decide was I'm getting dressed, it's sweatpants time, then we're wearing a longer sock. If I decided shorts, then we're wearing a, got you.

So I like a little extra optionality. Yeah, okay. I make a lot of game time decisions. That's what's obvious. He's going up in the line. He's reading it, he's checking the dead. He's calling audibles,

and he's fucking me. Buk Jack, Buk Jack. And you know what else? I'm also a big, I'm also a big like, uh, um, uh, bare feet all the time guy. I'm a house. I'm a slumber. So that's why it's like socks really are a last minute. They're going on. I believe in the house. That's when they're going on. Yeah. Can I say this about the shorts for thinner people out there? I'm listening. And then unless you're like, you know, you're taking the subway or you're working outside

or something like that, I'll tell you, you really can push the shorts. Because if you're going from the house to the car and then into another building, it feels nice. Yeah. If you go, if you go shorts and a hoodie, shorts and a hoodie, you're cozy enough. Classic Fat Guy in the winter move. Yeah. I'll even go, if the sun is hitting me, I'll wear shorts.

Yeah. If I'm out, when the sun is out, I don't know. I mean, do being out in December, when it's dark out in shorts is wide. That's crazy. That's great. You can't be doing it. Yeah.

It's not that bad. It's kind of refreshing. Yeah. It feels good. But you always sweat in the house with the heat. you have to be fat as shit though for this to work Let's let's Reiterate that yeah Also because I think people are just

Back to Margarita though and get somebody some I think people are conditioned by like oh fat guy insurance. I get it like they don't the connections are We're on top but if you see a skinny guy in Georgia, like, die out of the crack head, like, or something went horribly wrong in this guy's last hour, that he's out here in China. No, that's a good point. That's true.

What's your slipper situation? Because it's either like, pink bunny slippers that are now blackened or pretty nice, I would imagine. I go, I'm, I have a, it's slides and it's a specific brand that has a lot of support. Uh, Ufos, I don't know if you want to bleep it out.

No free, no free ads. Okay. But, uh, yeah, I like, there's just, I'll go like a, I'll go like a slipper that's very cushiony. Okay. Just slide kind of thing, but they stay in the house. I don't want to their house shoes. Their house shoes, yes, yes, but no, a classy guy.

Kind of. Yeah. You have classy elements. Yeah, just a little support. Have you upgraded the bed and the bedding and all that stuff? Well, you're in a king, right? I would assume. I am action. So I have a, I have a place in Baltimore, a place here. Right. I have not gotten the king beat here because I think I might move to a better place. Okay. I'm gonna wait. I'm gonna wait. You got a king down in Baltimore. Have a king. Did you, when you bought the place, did you, is it all, like, did you put,

like new furniture in there? Did you hook it all up? I'm still, it's, yeah, we're still. Trips and drabs right now. Drip and drabs, coaching. But yeah, so if we walked in there now, we would take a hitman. Probably.

Not that bad, we got a couch, we got a big, couch and big ass TV, day one. There's no, there is no way I am not having an 89 inch television. Sure, sure. And on the floor leaned up against the war. Sure, but the milk crate is an endable. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But you know, we got a little, I still need a little, a little more furniture, a little

little stuff. Okay. And what I, what are you sleeping in at night? You all fresco shorts. I'm a boxer just boxers, just boxers. Just boxers. Maybe I'll even let the night? You all fresco shorts. I'm a boxer. Just boxers. Just boxers. Maybe I'll even let the dick hang a little bit too. Maybe I'll go nothing. I've I've dabbled with nothing. Yeah. Nothing's off of shower. Fresh off of shower. Nothing is great. Yeah. Man. I think you sleep better, though. I think you might. And I like

it cold as well. Another another fact I move. God, of course. Yeah, I still I died sleep with the AC on now still. Okay, yeah, it's right above my heater. So it's like a counter-ax it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is it always shower at night or is it shower in the morning? I'll really let it. I'll really let it. I have no straight shower.

It's get no line with it. I'm really. If you got stuff to do during the day, you're going to be out and about probably. Typically, I'll tell you this. Typically, I will kind of take, I'm honest, you are right before I have to do shit shower. Like, I will, especially if I have to work out, I'm not working, I'm not waking up, shiring them, working out. Of course, it's probably a more, I'll probably take a shower before I have to fucking you're leaving for the day or the next.

And then event. Gotcha. You know what? Let's say you got nothing to gala. Yeah. Fucking little seizures is opening in the story. Come do the Irish podcast, you know? Uh-huh.

Ha. Okay, if you're not, uh, let's say you have two, three days, you're off the road, you're got no pods, no nothing, you're hanging, no plans, and are you, will you push it? Those two or three days without you hour. And if you're just in the apartment ordering food, you're like, I'm just posted up. I can, I certainly can. Uh-huh. But I probably, I don't know that I can go a full three. I was going to ask his both this.

Now that the winters here, I push it a little bit. I push it a little bit. You push it a little bit. It dries out my skin. Sure. That's a good point. I push it a little bit. You push it a little bit. It dries out my skin. Sure, that's a good point. It's a lot of effort. And there's new studies coming out saying that you shouldn't be showering every day.

And fat guy quarterly. Just published. I love that I love when people just look at the studies that get fit them. I mean, there's a lot of studies we should be. I got my algorithm. Yeah, yeah. Starting the ones on heart disease, will you? Yeah. Yeah.

There's a lot of studies out there. We're not the ones on red meat fully. It's all bullshit. Yeah, you know, it really depends on my up to any stinky activities. Sure. If I'm working out, especially if you're getting pussy, you got a shower. You can't be letting that marinade No, so I guess first comes the shove I guess I'm probably saying I'm a nighttime

Shower guy because it just feels nice Feels nice. He kind of got me on that on the road getting getting back from from the show and before you getting bed Taking a hot one see because I don't respect the hotel bed, I'll just sometimes pass that sure filthy. Yeah. It does feel better. He just feel like, all right, that's over. You know, especially after like a meat and grea, you're just sweaty and hot

and mean. Yeah, yeah, you want to watch the animals. I say it dies. I'm licking people's fingers. I said you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys are you guys Yeah, sorry about that feel bad. Yeah, exactly. I am fucking it up. You will, you know, it's good. You're going to get your money's worth. And I'm not that bad, especially I'm only there a night who really, you know, what damage can you really do? Yeah, especially with the comfort of though, I really, I just don't anything. I'll defy sneeze. I'm wiping my hands. Oh, yeah, that's brutal.

If I'm servicing certain areas of myself, that's good. Well, the towels, I think, is where we all know most of the disrespect should be. Glant to. It doesn't make it there though. You gotta have a towel. I'll just lay in it. I think about that every time I grab a towel and I'm like, how many? Somebody just can't do that. Yeah, yeah.

But that is the thing though. That is a nester or something. It bleaches. They're washing them with high heat. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Yeah. Spiritually it's still there. It's still there.

It's still there. Yeah. Energetically the sins of that if impressions are on it. Yeah. That's a sad that tells tough. They can pull DNA off of that. Yeah. I don't know, man.

The dirty, the dirtiest and nastiest thing in a hotel I think is that is that towel that they have for the floor mat. You're not using that are you? I just said you blow your nose in the comforter and you think the thing meant to fucking step on your feet. That's the thing I hate the most. I love that thing. I use that dude.

I use that one if I get down the shower, it's wet. I use that to mop up peeing on the floor. Okay. You can tell when Foley's been in a bathroom on the road. Yeah. There's about I don't know, three leaders of yours. Okay. I'm feeling a lot shockier about you.

A shocking amount of you. Are you good with that or are you missing? I'm not missing it. The level you're describing. Really? No, no, no, man. Maybe a drip here and there, but I mean. I'm all over the road.

Why don't you just piss in the shower then? I do. I do. I do it a lot of times in a hotel or an Airbnb, I'll just pee in the shower. But not when I'm in the shower. I'll just walk in there and just pee. Fascinating.

Yeah. I really, that's an insane way to do that. It feels great. You come back drunk. That's one step above homeless people. Why? I don't know. Does that I want to deal with dribbling and all that stuff?

I don't know. It's a dribbler we talking. It's, yeah. You got a bad stream and a short penis. And then we're dealing with, let's say, let's start. Let's say a double espresso's worth of liquid. Okay.

On the floor. Yeah. Why? I don't know. I don't think he's getting close enough. I'm not sure. I don't get close enough. I got to try to see where I'm going,

and then a lot of it's on the dismount. It's like when they do those aerial refuelings between jets, it's just, you know, the same thing as that. Exactly. If you're looking at an F14 time cap. What I'm talking about. This is because I, you know,

I'm also a very fat man, and I have a small penis. And I'm gonna say, even and a weak stream for that matter. And I will say, I got a good stream. You have a good stream. I have a good stream. Then this really feels like just carelessness on your part. It's for sure, it might be.

It's feels like the kind of thing. And listen, you get sick. You get sick. It happens, I get it. And you know it's there. You know that we're sharing that Listen if he's got his own bathroom what he does is he does if we're having air being beat he stays on the first floor big Man don't like stairs. So there's a room of the first floor big man calls it if there's not first move

Ration is shit. Yeah, he's got to go up and throw it down Front of the house baby. I'm had a security No one's getting by me. No, yeah, everyone's gonna slip on your piss Your seat I have to say I'm feeling a lot better about how I behave in I thought I was a filthy animal But what you're describing is deplorable behavior. Yeah, I'm pretty bad So you really got to get that but I'll put on my towels and a little pile and stuff like that and clean up a little But I'll throw my trash. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Just don't touch the sheet I would rather you leave the towels wherever it is

It's not like you can yeah, but hey, what are you gonna do? I'm really was just talking about really fucking up the towels and I try not to, you know, why sneezing in the company is one of the most despicable things I've ever heard. But, you know, to each his own, I suppose. I would call, I would really like it if you stopped doing that. Just, just like, I feel some response to the bumping up and say, you told me that you said I need to be on record

as being heavily against this, not approving. And I'm so funny. Are your garbage was here last night? What were they? Yeah, yeah. Please, yeah, just every time you're in a city, please email me your itinerary. So I will make sure not to stay there.

Oh, fair enough, fair enough. Fair enough. I feel like we shouldn't bring this up, but we were just there to the dude. Timo went into the bathroom after him recently at an Airbnb and there was toilet paper with bootballed all the floor. What the hell is Patreon company? It's from the floor. How did that happen?

Well, it's funny. So how did that happen? Well, it's funny. Yeah. So how did that happen? Yeah, yeah. Walk us through it. It's careless. I thought I connected. Right.

And I didn't. I met the rim and bounced off and I didn't see it when I got up. Why are you shooting three pointers? Yeah. I can answer that. I can answer that. I can test the skills. Because he's not a fat person cannot wipe his ass on the toilet.

This is a stand up and wipe your ass situation. I have a, now, now I'm in, now, I've a system of police. Yeah. I hire three guys. Before the Yosemites, it was a nightmare. It was like an absolute nightmare. But now I have the reach and I have long arms.

Yeah, I can do my thing a little bit. Nice. But I, you know, it's still, I'm maybe on the way out. Yeah, and it just hits a head and bounce. But then I didn't realize it. And I did one flush first. I do one flush before I go in there.

Sure. To wipe. Okay. And then I forgot to flush again. That's how I got, that's how this all came the light. Because Toby went in and he used to bathe me and he was like, fuck, somebody didn't flush. And then I went in there and then I saw a shit in the it. I didn't, I thought it was just a regular piece of toilet paper, which you would leave on the floor.

You wouldn't just pick that up also. Yeah. I mean, it's gonna work there. You think I'm sharing a common space with your friends? Yeah, no, all of this behavior is things four year old child's. He plays it fast and look. Yeah, yeah, yeah of this behavior is things a four year old child. He plays it fast and look. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You got to tighten up. Which I that's why like we work very well together. It's like, yeah, you stay on the first floor, right? And I'll do all of my group. My grooming isn't another location. Gotta keep it distanced. Yeah, you can have this. Toby's the collateral damage.

He's going to hit some. Toby's got a, yeah, he's got a, she's need some, if Toby has some piss soaked socks every once in a while, he leaves them everywhere because of doing business. Hey, man, it's good work. You can get it, bro. Tough break, big guy. All right. Let's get into some, I have one more for you. Don't get to some patreon questions. You very rarely get the fucking, the garbage connoisseur of stuff, you know what I mean? He's very well versed in many areas of life. Absolutely. What are you banging with out of TGI Fridays, Olive Garden and Applebees?

Oh wow. Because we're very well documented us on Domino's VP. Of course, which eats a hut. We don't have to, we stir up. I don't, yeah, we don't hot, which we don't have to, we stir up. I don't, yeah, we don't have to, we don't have to open up old wounds, but we still should have the taste test someday. Maybe when you guys come on Stabby's World,

we'll do an official taste test. A lot of people have been hitting me up about the remnants of pizza hut that, hey, there's one outside of Chicago. Yeah, there's 125 minutes from my house. They still do the indoor diet. No, what I wanted we want to do one of the things we were talking about trying to do with you is going find the last buffet one of the buffets and the three of us go.

That would be beautiful. I bet it's I bet it still hits. Absolutely. Absolutely. It's all I'm hanging on to. All right, let's see here. Give it to Friday's. Friday's.

Olive Garden or Applebee's. And or if not one of those, what's, what, what, you know, I was always a Chili's guy. Chili. My family was always into Chili's. Okay. And honestly, even outback steakhouse. Whoa. Okay.

And so. Toidi,. Okay. And so, Oh, itty toity. You're right, no. We were not a big Olive Garden family. I can't, I can't, I can't, I think I've been Olive Garden once in my life. Friday's, I didn't really go to eldest swears by the Jack Daniels burger to this day.

That's pretty good. He's a big Jack Daniels burger. I don't shoot your A1C to a roof. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's the only thing I've had. I think I've only gone with him when we were children. Friday's has the best sampler. The best appetizer sampler.

You know what, I, the game. When they were doing the like, what was it, $5? Like, limited or something like that? $15 on limited? Yeah. I went for that. Pretty good, I must say. I went for that. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I must say. I went for that. I did. I did. I did.

Good deals, a good deal. It was something weird thing where it was like a bunch of, back in Baltimore, we went to go see Planet of the Apes 2 and then go to TGI Fridays for the unlimited apps. Nice. Nice little Friday night right there. Absolutely. I'm sure that was filled with the, your crew was a bunch of athletes. You know, it was a bunch of weird, it was very strange.

It was a bunch of athletes. You know, it was a bunch of weird, it was very strange. It was a bunch of like weird alt artists. Like don't go to TGF, don't go to malls at all. It was a very strange crew. I was the most like normal person. Mainstream, without question. They all got sick afterwards. Yeah, yeah, they're just... Digestices of candle it.

Good handle it. I probably would, I mean, Chili's the baby, the classic baby back ring. Okay. But I, I, what I thought was classy was I would start getting the like, sirloin. I would start getting steak and chilies. It towards the end of my chilies day.

Yeah, till the end of your run. Till the end of my run. And, you know, I had a corn. I was sometimes I would get corn and fries. That was kind of my combo. I did have like a buffalo, popper chicken thing in the mix there. Sure.

I'm ashamed to say I've abandoned my roots and I haven't eaten at a chain like this in quite some time although where the fuck was I just? The sirloin is where you end up. Cause that's what your dad's always got. They always got to stake in the big stuff. Exactly. Yeah. When I was like 14, I was like,

I'm a man of the house. Yes. I deserve a surloin from Chili's as well. Pop like I got this one. Can we do three checks? Yeah. So yeah. Okay.

But I'm all right. It's a respectable. It's an occasion to hit a Chili's in the, in the Halki's family. Could it just be a Friday night or Thursday night? We would maybe twice a month hit up like a cheerleys apple. There was a, there was an opening that he shut out to East Point Mall.

It ticked over a, the first man's ever got a steak was a restaurant called Kings Court in East Point Mall. That was like a set, it was like a, it was almost like a cafeteria style steak house. Where you like pick out exactly your Tick out your fucking sides and shit and then you order a steak and they you know If they bring the only thing they bring you is the steak all the sides and shit are there and That was a great experience. I had like a fucking T-bone steak as a child

Cuz I just thought it looked cool in the cartoons. That's one of the most classic steaks Like the way pizza is drawn a specific way in teenage community tutorials, when they draw a stake in cartoons, the T-bone stake, because it looks so certain way. I couldn't finish any other. That dog on time in Jerry's was always crushable. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Spike always had a fresh one on the grill. Exactly. Man, he made it look good. He had to chef hat and everything.

It was probably Spike that got me to a lot of T-bone stake. That and the ham was always really good too. Spiral dance, by the bunch of ham. Yeah, yeah. And then unfortunately, big business took over. Corporate America, crushed Kings Court under a seal. And Applebee's took over that space.

And for the first two years, it was actually pretty good. And it was still, we would get steak there. Cause we were like, well, this must be a steakhouse like, you know, there was a steakhouse here before. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All the dry cleaners and it was good. And then it falls out. Thanks for the all fall. You know, they all come out swinging. Yeah. They're all, they're all toeing the corporate line. The man it just cares that there's like a regional guy there launching it. Exactly. He gets out the new guy come and it's fucking suck.

He's not doing the inventory. No. They just start slipping. They start cutting back on servers and they're overworkin' the servers and then they get psycho. It's crazy. Yes. Damn.

All right. All righty. I do have to say that is one thing for like the two things that I like having money is like the meals have been upgraded to the point where it's like I'm not going to a unless I'm on the road and I'm in like some horrible mall. Sure. I'm not going to a

Margarita though, like we did last year. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm going to a sick restaurant and like because I travel so much I'll fucking I'll just get the most comfortable possible seat in whatever I'm on. Sure, you know, like those are two things that it's like, I can't, I really am enjoying.

Everything else sucks. You have to work more and the sweatsuits. Yeah, come on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I have more inkops either. I have more of those. I still was a sweatsuit guy, you know, back. I made the money, I found the money back in the day

for sweatsuits. I got the bat in other places. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Who has the pay rent? I got the suits I got. Yeah. You got the chains glisten places. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Who has the pay rent? I got the shoot second. Yeah. You got the chains glistened, by the way. Yeah, it's great.

You got a great look today. Thank you, thank you. And do you have a guy that you're going to? Do you have a jewelry guy? Where are you picking these up? Yeah, I have a friend who she knows about jewelry stuff. I can sold her. And I just kind of bought a couple, not a tattoo guy.

Yeah, I'll get a couple of chains to mark a tattoo guy, yeah, I'll get a couple chains to mark a nice occasion. I bought this for the special. Nice. And I'll probably rock this for a while. And then, you know, when I celebrate things I'll probably buy a nice little piece of jewelry as a, you know, but I don't wanna overdo it.

You are. Get Jam W, melt that down. Exactly, yeah, yeah, yeah. How far away are you from becoming a ring guy? I'll have some rings and I'll wear them on like a, I wore a ring, I wore a piggy ring on the special actually. Check it out. The pinky is going to come back.

I'm telling you. Oh, without question. Yes. I just them a very forgetful person. So I don't want to just date a day wear rings because I will, I fidget a lot. I'll lose them, you them, this kind of thing. But I'll wear them out, I'll wear them if I'm going to something,

if I'm definitely a ring guy. And yeah, I think I want to get a nice watch next, again, just like, just as fast you move. They're nice watches, all right. But I don't want to overdo it, I want to like, I don't know, subtle. Just to look, yeah, still too much money, if we're being honest, but like not a crazy right

And people say that watches actually hold their value. I it is it is despicable to me that I know things like this now You know that part makes me feel bad. I feel like a trader Just like for a big trader moment. I had is I I was in a hotel. Oh, that actually holds its value That's quite a good investment. Yeah, I's like, I know what investments are now. The pens on the market, really. Like the fuck? What's going on? Gold trading out today?

Dude, I had the moment where I was like, oh, I'm a piece of shit, is when I went to a hotel and like, I just knew the sheets were bad. First time in my life. I knew the sheets were bad. Damn. And I couldn't sleep because the sheets were bad. And I was like, I was like, who have I become?

Hi, this is Mr. Halkius in the penthouse. What's the thread count? It was brutal. They were bad. I was itchy. I was like, whatever. I was like, oh, what is this? And I remember like, I would just sleep.

I was in the door, cat. Dude, I would just sleep on like bare couches for you. Yeah. My first bed. Like, I was bedding in New York was just a very used Ikea pullout couch. Yeah, that I just put in the corner of a bedroom and slept on like that was it using a pistachio shell as a pillow. Yeah, it was I was like, oh, you're the fuck am I? Yeah, so that was a really brutal moment where I'm like, I know what badge not only do I know that she is bad, but it bothers bothers me.

I'm the princess and the fucking P over here. It sucks. Yeah, what I was talking about buddy about this. It's because you know, you travel so much. But she is bad, but it bothers bothers you the princess and the fucking pee over here sucks What I was talking about buddy about this. It's because you know you travel so much you experience all of this stuff Right so frequently and high intensity that you're like yeah, I stayed in I don't know 75 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah I'm supposed to stay in 75 hotel rooms and they're like of course. Of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah We could tell if the eggs are powdered at the breakfast, which I like a powder. No, no, no, no, fuck that. I don't mind them.

There are a couple of links. It's not your mind. You got to get out of there. Just breakfast like that. I know. That's how you feed the crew. That's how you do. That's how you do.

Don't be like, don't be get the zip lock out. We're having these for lunch too. Cassidy, we bring Cassidy back some sausage links. Make it some great. I'm not even bringing Cassidy with us. No, no, no, just give them. Don't. He's up in the room.

No, I love, I do, I have such a bad, I have such a white trash garbage palette. I love chicken parm is like my, that would be my meal if I was getting killed and be like, yeah chicken parm sandwich from Aldo's and I don't have a pencil for me. You should not do it. But I do love the, I do like a nice omelet,

I like a nice place, but like I do just love the shitty shitty shitty food. Yeah, my fate bar food, I love bar food. Yeah, it's still great for sure, but I I don't know. I'll still crush it, but it's also like that is my shitty food is my biggest problem. Yeah, biggest biggest addiction more than drugs or fucking anything. And so I try and just like eat a little better, but dude, I'll go to Buffalo Wild Wings right now. I'll go right to fuck now. It's in my blood. I'm just trying to get it. It's funny

because it's like man everything I'm trying to do to improve my life is just like that is so much who I was. You know what I mean? We're just like who the fucking is even left? If I'm being salad. I'm eating salads. I'm sleeping on nice sheets. It's like a fraud. Who the fuck am I? Yeah. It sucks. I have you had cheese fries in the last year? Wow. Great question. And you got a lot of nerve asking it. Yeah, I can't say that I have. I've had plenty of fries, but I haven't had cheese fries.

Yeah. OK. And that was a mainstay. You're right. You're like a crabby fry, I would assume, right? I'm just shot out to the crabby. He likes the dust on it. I do that. Yeah, some lump. He likes the dust on it.

I do that. Yeah, I was a lump with some jumbo lump on there too, not just the dust thing. Or some crap dip, which is actually kind of a cheesy fri now that I think about it. Crab dips, yeah, very in that world. Crab dips are all right. And shut out to Nacho Mama's in Canton.

That's just fun. Good Crab dip. Good. Canton Ohio. Can the triple plug in them, didn't know how you can. No trouble plugging in. Did you? No free ads. Slipper company.

You don't get it. Not Joe Mama comes out. No, no, no. We got to support. We got to support the local. Jimmy seafood has a nice. Let's get him all. Let's get him all.

Good crab omelette. Sippin' bite. And shout out to a crab omelette.'s sipping bite Shout out to a crab omelette and the Baltimore Ravens and all their Subsidy areas of course 100% first time ever had eggs Benedict was crab that was crab eggs Benedict it blew my it was that silk city And Philly I thought that was rich people food. Yes, dude. I was 20, I might have been 30 the first time I had. And it was Benedict, it was crab. When you see an ex Benedict and it's in the number next to it starts with a two.

It's a 20 something. Oh, my gosh. I don't think anybody in my, I don't think anybody in my whole family's lineage ever had a better guy swear to God. I swear to God. Are we all split in this? Yeah. Everyone gets a bite.

Crazy. Yeah, they're well, there was a, there was a place called Tiffany's near our house. That was real, real nice. And we went there once and they did like a brunch thing and the whole thing we all got the eggs Benedict. And you only, we all had one. And what didn't even come in shoes?

Yeah, we thought we were like, well, we thought we were the candidates. One egg bet. It's that's egg Benedict. It was. That's trash. But we thought that we they talked about it for a week before we went and months after we left.

Yeah. Crazy. Talked about it all through the year. I get it. No, I get it. I mean, that's the same thing when we took my Yeah, crazy. She talked about it all through the year. I get it. No, I get it. I mean, that's the same thing when we took my mom, like my mom for her birthday dinner when we started taking her to real restaurants.

She would like, fight it at first. She'd be, literally she, she kept trying to get us to take her to Penaire Brett. Shout out to people. And it was just like, no. It's your fuck, it's, she's like, I don't need this, this is the mask. Uh-huh.

You know, and it's like, just have a fucking nice dinner with Luxin in the last 40 years. Sure. Like, please have a nice dinner. The Panera Bread, that's what you love. The Panera Bread, let's go. Do you want to go to Panera? Like constantly, she's constantly advocating

for Panera Bread. You can eat the bowl. The chicken fantaigas sandwich, big hit. Big hit. I'll never forget. First time I went to Panera bread. I was like, still a big eater. I didn't know anything.

I'm not doing a sad. I wasn't eating salads and shit. Man, I got like, it was potato soup in the bread bowl. And the guy's like, are you sure? I was like, buddy, it me with it. Yeah, hell yeah, dude. It's like eating bread soup. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The broccoli cheddar. I gotta do that. Come on. I don't think Like eating brids. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The broccoli cheddar. We gotta do that. Man, come on. I don't think I was eating broccoli at that point in my life. That's when I was like, oh, this is healthy. Yeah, I'm like just broccoli in here. Yeah. All right, let's do one or two questions here

then we can, we gotta get out all. This one's just funny. This one's from Liam. I've never seen my parents drink water. Yeah, I don't think I, my mom, I don't think I've ever seen my dad. It was Diet Coke or regular coke. Right. Dad never drank water. Never. Yeah. No. I that's a good question. We I think Greek people would do make a big show of drinking water. Lefrabid in your face a little bit. Yeah, yeah. Like to like on a hot day. There's a lot of gulps and gone. Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah, a lot of that. A lot of, I just remember water being

in almost like an exclusively summertime drink. Sure, yeah. Where it's like, you know, calm, you know, because it's a very, very arid climate degree. So I think they're staying, they're staying hydrated. But it's tough to drink water in the winter when it's cold. It's like drinking razor blades.

Ugh. We were a big crystal light family. Yeah, we were. Big crystal light family. Love that. Yeah. I saw my dad drink that diet root beer beer and every morning as he's rushing out the door he would take a cup of coffee pour a little bit out put cold water in it crush it pour a little cold water crush it and crush it and crush it until he got it all down and go then go out to the door. Psycho-pan. So you can just get all his water down and one kind of...

No, but he would do it just to cool the coffee so we could slam it. So he would just get all the coffee. Then he would have a massive panic attack around like three o'clock, and then he'd kick him off the coffee. That's a wild way to drink coffee and water. Yeah. You know, fun just getting the drug in you. No, I love the idea of the people who just do not have,

you know, I had a joke where I was describing like, like the kinds of people, I don't remember what the fuck was like, I was just describing a type of woman in Baltimore and one of the things I would say was like, hasn't had water. Sure. It's been, you know, diapy, every day of her life.

A Sierra missed sprite when she has a cold. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, all the lemon limestone, it was the health. That was water. Yeah. Ginger ale. Ginger ale.

That has medicinal purpose. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Man. Ginger ale. You had sprite or Sierra Sierra miss because to me, the Sierra miss is the trash year. No, we were spright for sure. Seven up. We were big seven up. You little seven up. Seven up was all right. I feel seven up got to us first. I'm older. So seven up and they had an ad campaign that knocked

it out of the park. It was a guy like in the Bahamas wearing like, you know, like, like Tommy Bahama stuff and he did the sprite never or seven up never had it, never will. The caffeine, they pushed the no caffeine. And I did it was crisp. It was crisp. And I'm like, it's saying you were there with the unveiling of Seven Up, you remember that, huh?

I'm not gonna, we're not gonna come out, but it was pre-sprite, before Sprite got big. I don't remember a world pre-sprite, I have to. For sure, yes, because Sprite started creeping into their sprite. I have to for sure. Yes, because sprite saw to creep in into their market I think I feel like sprite is king right easily. Yeah, that's the best thing. I got to get the fucking power of coke Colo behead. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, all right. Let's see here. This one's from real bozo Is it garbage? You use a lint roller on your face? If face and body after haircut instead of just taking a shower. Who, that question? That's crazy.

It's kind of strange. It makes sense though. It's strange that you would even, it's crazy that the person who would think do that would have access to a lint roll up here. That's kind of the thing that's stolen. That's what's not adding up here, but it's absolutely, I should have been able to spell it. That was put back on the shelf at CBS on his way out the door.

Yeah, all right. He walks in. Yeah, can you? You get a haircut and then go out and do your day or do you have to get right in the shower? I haven't been a haircut guy in so long because I went from bald to growing my hair out. Okay. I'll do a little trims. I got to get right in the shower after haircut. I could not fucking, I can't call anywhere. I'm in itching. That fully really flexing his head of hair with that question. I know.

He's just sitting here and I said, one guy who's let it go and one guy who's holding on to it. You get haircuts when he's talking about. Talking about when you were a kid, you got haircuts. It's all CGI dude. Pretty thing all that patreon money's going. You guys don't sell your hair after after, after you get a cut. You should get plugged up dude, what the fuck?

Come on. I don't, here's my thing on the floor. He's zipped up, you're plugged up. Let's get it going. He gets fucking good. I got a sign. Okay, yeah. Hair line starts right here. That would be fucking awesome podcast. Are you hot? Yeah?

You guys should do that every year you should do some like some kind of like plastic surgery Because it's are you garbage and then by the end of it you should just be like face doesn't move face doesn't move just like blonde hair It would be that's the natural argument. That is true for the garbage. Like a garbage person would. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying.

I gotta set a fake tits. Yeah. Yeah. I've always said I would do, what, it's not a pain point for me. Like, I genuinely don't care. Yeah. I'm just gonna just ride it into the sunset, whatever.

But I said I would do plugs as long as I could guarantee, and I know obviously we have friends and people, probably done it. I just don't want, I want them to look good enough to wear, because no one's gonna tell you they look bad. They're gonna go, oh, looks good. I mean, I'm your back and go, what the fuck? The thing is, four times a week on this podcast.

I promise you. The thing is we do it. We have, we're in a group of like, our friends will tell you if it looks bad. I don't, but I think that's a thing once it's in. It's so permanent. People are just gonna be like, oh, cool. I think you'd always take, you know, it's just shave your shit or something. I don't know. You get me, I inked out. They look good these days. They look to do that. They're looking good these days. They do look great

I the people that I know have them like I just think it's also very expensive this year is the year of fully on O's epic next year's the year of you on plugs. All right, then we're doing a little chin filler maybe a little Sure, I put the butt. I'll put the Slowly we just got to get you guys looking more and more like what trash does when they get what yeah lottery when a couple of cheap cheek implants Brazilian butt lift let's go walking around with a dumper. I'm gonna go I will get plugs when I'm like 60 because I want to go I always want to when everybody's doing everything I want to go the opposite direction sure so I want to be an old man with beautiful hair Just show up beautiful hair dude. I don't know where.

I've had hair like this for 30 years, then I show up with fucking awesome hair. Just look at it back. Just over two. Now I've dyed like a silver fox. I look incredible. I look like wise and hot. That's what wise and hot.

I've got it all planned out. Fucking good. But we got to wrap it up gang. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Stavros, how cute. I know, he wants to give a four. All right, we did it. The one more. The one guy. A board.

I think we did two, a board. A board. I didn't mean to. No, it's okay. Now they're gonna suck. No, no, no, no. That was a lot of pressure on me, Paul. I could play that shot.

Yeah. Let's end that. You guys ever bite your fingernail? No, then. All right, this one's pretty good. This one's from Fritz, $10 homie, never had one red. Is it garbage if you knew one of the kids on an episode of Scared Straight?

Oh, that's so fucking serious. You're running with a bad crowd. That's the case. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They got Ronnie. That's no good. Absolutely garbage. I remember when that dropped the next day in school,

everybody's like, did you fucking see? That was the real shit anyone's ever seen? It's petrifying. My mom always scared me with that stuff. It wasn't, it wasn't that, but it was, it was a home St. Gabe's. That's where they would send you.

And they would come and get you. Keep doing it. I'm gonna send you to St. Gabe's. And she's like, she used to fake calling that the guys were coming to get me. Jesus Christ. Go upstairs and pack. They're coming.

Pack? Yeah. That's fucking psychological warfare. Go upstairs and pack. They're coming. Pack? Yeah. That's fucking psychological warfare. Why would you do that to a nine-year-old? Well, it really worked. He didn't develop any freckles. He actually went and beat a lot of Thor. I was scared to death.

They're going to take me away. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Stavros Halki, is brand new special out on Netflix Fat Rascal. Do yourself a favor get over and check it out. He is one of the funniest one of the hardest working one of the most successful guys work in today. Get in the biz.

One of the best of the bids man. We love you, but thanks for having me and of course, Stavis world. Stavis world. Listen to it. Yeah. A year. It's been a year of Stavis world. You guys were the first.

Yeah. You were like in the third, you're like the third episode. I think come back We love that we love to have you in a nice first batch of the net of this years But yeah, please listen to the pod watch the special everything and thanks for having me guys Thanks buddy. Keep it what you got for guys. We're all over the road still tickets left I've come up for DC and that second show at the Philmore and Philly is about to sell out if it's not already get them Freakin tickets gang. We'll see you out there. Love you and we'll see you next week. Please coming up for DC and that second show at the Fillmore in Philly is about to sell out

if it's not already get them frickin tickets gang we'll see you out there. Love you and we'll see you next week. Peace!