Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Stavros Halkias Returns!

Episode Date: May 30, 2022

Kippy & Foley are joined by old pal Stavros Halkias! Its a fun one! Thanks for listening. Love youse guys. Live Shows: https://linktr.ee/AreYouGarbage PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage ... https://www.GETUNDERTAC.COM Offer code GARBAGE20 https://www.ButcherBox.com/AYG https://www.HelixSleep.com/Garbage https://www.BoxOfAwesome.com Promo Code: GARBAGE https://www.BetterHelp.com/GARBAGE

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Pittsburgh Buffalo Detroit the middle-class famous tour is coming your way a little mix of stand-up comedy Play a little a yg with the crowd. It's gonna be a good time. Yeah guys get the homies come out It's a good way to introduce him to the show. We're gonna be in Buffalo on June 14th We're gonna be in Pittsburgh on June 15th and Detroit June 16th get those tickies. We'll see you there. Yeah Welcome to another exciting edition of are you garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or Absolute trash Now here are your hosts Kevin Ryan and H Foley
Starting point is 00:00:40 Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast. This is our you garbage Mm-hmm. Well show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find out that you're to be classy Yeah, or if they're just a big old piece of trash I'm your host AIDS Foley coming at you on a beautiful day. We're down here at Antutti's basement. She's upstairs She's organizing a new lemonade stand of sorts. Okay, but for catalytic converters Okay, so if you're in the market and you're looking for something cheap come by the spot My co-host is coming at you from right next to me unamused again this week He's my best pal in the whole wide world and I love them give it up for KJ Kevin James Ryan
Starting point is 00:01:18 Hey gang, thanks for tuning in as always make sure your reviews fire on the writers Rape reviews subscribe on itunes full video available new tube as you know those numbers are through the roof cookin And then obviously the greatest website of all time Patreon.com Check it the fuck out ladies and gentlemen. It's a game changer over there Come see me in Tuscany this summer and have a nice quick shout out to our producer extraordinaire The magic man makes us all look good. You love him. We love him. Give it up for T-Bone McButtons. Toby McMullen. What's up, dude? Stop T-Bone got a hot one man. We got a hot one. We got the fucking kid in here. We got the coolest kid in school
Starting point is 00:01:56 The new kid coming in He's got a girlfriend up in Canada, but we still love got she's got a huge Gang we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly special guest back with us again today Extremely funny stand-up comedian tours all over me taste up This kid kills it on twitch on tiktok on YouTube on Instagram on Twitter, and he's got a brand new special his debut special Oh, right coming out June 5th on YouTube called live at the Lodge room ladies and gentlemen give it up for the pride of Baltimore Stavros Are we doing boys we're doing good. Oh, I'm happy to be here. I would like for the record to state
Starting point is 00:02:39 Oh boy that I you guys have had a lot of like big names. I'm Real you're a big name I'd like for the record that I did this podcast when I was sure it would fail I'm returning now that it is a success, and I'm very happy for you, but I remember getting the email and being like Alright, I'll deal. Those are funny guys I'll do it for them. It was early to early And it was in the middle a couple of months into the pot. Yeah, I was like this is good They're one last attempt and then
Starting point is 00:03:17 And then maybe if I'm in helium they can feature for me You know that's kind of how I approached it, and I'm very happy to see you guys thriving and I love it I can say that's the fact that you know the truth of course means things are going well We're on the other side that's patreon.com keep it in that patreon take one more swing, baby 2,000 people yeah when you did you do it early? I think I don't think you had a shirt on when we did it I forgot about it. I got a text a frantic text. Oh, yeah, my vintenette's fucked. Let me plug. Let me plug the router in You're sitting there with like the mics the cans on I'm like the zooms recording. I'm like, have you heard from them? But I'm out of back the studio is fucking sick it looks awesome. I remember your camera turned on you were brushing your teeth or something
Starting point is 00:04:23 I was also losing my mind during the pandemic, so it actually was nice to talk to someone and just do something sure that was deep Pandemic that was that was $400 grocery store orders. That was fucking crushing fucking Breaking bad. Yeah, that was that was knee-deep and that was the getting fat as hell Man never see civilization again part of the pandemic. What a ride that was it was a fun time man Fucking grocery store the pandemic was all right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Congratulations on the special. Thanks, dude Things have been going incredibly well. I'm trying. I'm working. Yeah before we get into the patreon questions We want to do a little follow up here. It's been a while Let's do it. I
Starting point is 00:05:03 Know you have a slight bone to pick with me. Oh, yeah Dug up some of my old tweets. That's right. I'm trying to get me cancer. What one the old Bay Yeah, yeah, we've got a lot. I feel like that's that's me and fully's relationship But she puts out a food take and I'm like, I'll execute. Yeah Well, we're out of your mind. I have a machete. I'm outside of your house Very quick. I'll kill you I think we also had a pizza disagreement Well, that's another one
Starting point is 00:05:32 Yeah, but I just want to let's start I just want to Get it going. I'm ready to fucking go I'm close dude. I'm close to the tail I want to clarify the old Bay comment. All right, cuz that's like sacred. It is that's like an angel dust where you come from Shrimp crabs, okay, but these bozos up here in Philly. They put it on fucking everything Crab crab crab fries are big where we call I love them. Yeah, do you love them unimpeachable crab fries? Are you out of your mind? Really? It's a fucking perfect. It's it's thank you What are you a little bit of cheese on the side a little? Yeah, absolutely
Starting point is 00:06:12 If you if you can recreate like a cream of crab soup This guy knows what I'm on team stop, you know a little cream a little cheese a little old Bay get that look as listen We take a chowder we want to soup we want to liven up our fries How many let the fries live are we kidding we both shop at the same store Foley I've seen that shirt on the DXL rack. All right, don't come at me pretending You don't want different variations of fries. Thank you. It's not like it's not a fucking. It's not a zero-sum game Uh-huh. There's no need to bring DXL Don't hurt him over there
Starting point is 00:06:47 I'm back in unfortunately nine months in a row of touring. I had to dip my toes back But that's my point is like give me every type of fry. Yes, I want it out there I want you don't have it every day, but you have the option if you're there. Hey, you know what? I've had the sweet potato fries. I had the regular chicken fry. Give me the crabby You like the old bay chips, too. I would assume right yeah, what are they hers? Someone's got hers doesn't yeah Is that the silver bag one? It's is the golden bag. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's all right. They're good. They're very good They're very good. I put them on parole. I put old Bay on parochies. I don't give up. I'll do it on anything
Starting point is 00:07:31 Like I bad idea shrimp. I think they shine definitely It's shrimp shrimp and then there's nothing better than exactly sucking off the fucking old Bay off Just suck in the crab leg Getting a little under the fingers. Yeah, the finger you get a cut. It's painful, but it's how you know, you're alive Where do you stand on a Montreal steak seasoning mantra? Oh, okay interesting fan. I this is There's a reason this was a success For fucking yeah listeners look like you two for idiots like me. Yeah, this is these are the deep philosophical questions I want to have I don't want to talk, you know
Starting point is 00:08:09 Snifter yeah, yeah, yeah Montreal seasoning is I would say it's an it's an entryway It's a gateway into the larger seasoning world It's true it is trash by the way Some pepper that some pepper though, it's like I elevated as well sure Montreal your your your mind is being open Dipping your toe in the water there and that's that's when you're like if you grew up trash Yeah, right and you want to escape you throw a little Montreal steak seasoning on on some First time I had Montreal chicken. Yeah the first time I had it blew my fucking airbag You think you're like fucking, you know, it's like, you know
Starting point is 00:08:50 It's like the way like if you if you like it's kind of like reading a New Yorker article when you live in fucking in like You know in like sure trashy failure like wherever the fuck Baltimore Mind-expanding it's doing mushrooms for the first time. Oh you motherfuckers know nothing about Montreal season I feel like I feel like you're in turmerics. You're fucking around with gingers See, you know some fresh ginger or something some fucking five spice. Did you say turmeric? I think it's either one turmeric turmeric turmeric. No way. It's got to be turmeric t-bone. Help me out It's not turmeric turmeric turmeric a lot of people say turmeric, which is wrong that that might be the most right one No, that's we need it. We need a like an Indian guy. I need somebody
Starting point is 00:09:32 Truly, it's what we need, you know, what I'm saying is Montreal seasoning. That's the gateway then you're having different It's right up the middle. Yes from the Orient. You get a little fresh oregano I was always an oregano guy being Greek obviously the or you know, you're opening your mind up the different the different things show I Will grow type stuff. It is yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I would say I'm definitely past the Montreal steak seasoning point in my life Okay, you know what I mean? That's over for me, but I it was a beautiful time It's like your college girlfriend. So I'm glad we didn't get married, but I wish Montreal seasonings was the first person to suck my dick The toe ring was hot, but yeah, I got to move on
Starting point is 00:10:14 I feel like what happened was is that our dad's or somebody went out to a restaurant day It's back in the day. They had it and then it filtered into the home See, I mean we got fed at one. I remember it was in the spring My dad did some steaks on the grill. We're like, what the fuck is on this like Montreal steak It was on every single Barbecue sauce is what you're sure sure that was it was a barbecue sauce but barbecue sauce up into like 96 and then and this by the way all came on the scene the fact that we're having this discussion means we were all grew up poor There wasn't a lot of money like I'm thinking about my roommate who like was a kid who like, you know grew up in the DC
Starting point is 00:10:51 Suburbs his dad was like a computer programmer Like he was having fucking ramen. He was having real real real real real wrong. I didn't have real ramen until like I'm still a little scared exactly exactly he like he under you know had that shit going so for him He probably that was never the case, but yes dry rubs Montreal seasoning was the was the first I mean again Greek people just like a little salt pepper oregano Montreal seasoning made me feel a little fucking, you know A little clay a little elevated, right But I don't I wouldn't tie it to a restaurant. I think it was just McCormick and Schmidt. Yeah, that's just it was there. It was there. We still have it at my mom like you still
Starting point is 00:11:30 Yeah, my mom's still fairly still if they're firing up the grill the fucking month We might as well be in Montreal is coming out. In fact, I'm getting a little I'm literally having a flashback of making steaks on the Grill I put illegally on our balcony in Greek town love that I had a summer of grilling charcoal. It was just it was a gas grill. Okay. This was a gas grill even more dangerous Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, this is what something that'll take out the whole block Oh, yeah, and I got one in a story to completely against code Now I have a gas place on my balcony. I what I'm gonna fucking I'm not gonna grill I know summer the fuck summer. You got it out. You got it. You got a balcony
Starting point is 00:12:05 You got a girl. Is it a balcony where the other one is right above you? I'm on the I'm the highest You can't be smoking out the neighbors in Anything like I know nobody really says anything out there a story is all everybody does Keeps their mouth shut the illegal balcony the illegal u-turn and the fucking double parking out there Oh, it's out is absolutely insane. It's awesome. Everybody keeps their mouth shut and keeps it moving They know that yeah, it's a it's a it's a it's an incredibly diverse neighborhood a lot of people from a lot of different places Yeah, and everyone knows just to fucking keep it yourself. Yeah, and grilling unites all those Everybody likes a nice
Starting point is 00:12:50 Eastern European Puerto Rican whatever the fuck it is, you know, everybody's everybody's growing Did you celebrate Greek Easter recently? You know actually this year my brother was married on Greek Easter. So it's nice. We had a double celebration He got like he the meal was lamb chops to make it real Greek You know, I was like, you know, I was pretty adamant that we got to have some fucking some lamb Yeah, yeah, if he hadn't made I was like I think he's cheap to the wedding No, dude, I literally was like I will hire a food truck to bring lamb Pretty small it wasn't very big it would have been a flex, but I I surveyed the place. There would have been no place
Starting point is 00:13:27 There was no parking. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was like out somewhere in Maryland. It was like, yeah It was like a it was a beautiful venue, but there was would not have been an opportunity for Food truck truck full of lamb. We were gonna get to this eventually, but since you brought it up brothers wedding. Yes Like this what was Audible what was in the envelope? What was in the envelope? Or what do you get a ton of money? Yeah, oh, yeah, a ton. I don't want to put my little brother on blast. We don't do that But I want there is I just want him to have the best wedding possible
Starting point is 00:14:01 So if it was like if there was something love this guy if there was something that they like didn't want us, you know And he's young. He's like, you know, he wants you to write it down Like it was a rich guy thing to do you don't talk about you write it I bet we've had bigger on the show. You've definitely had bigger for sure But I'm just trying to think like in terms of everything I paid for The envelope was a thousand bucks, okay, but But there was definitely believe there was some there was some paper-worthy Numbers going going into going into the rest I mentioned the lamb truck, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I got one for you
Starting point is 00:14:41 He's right dad. I gave him a blender. Yeah $48 Fucking that that is nice. That's okay for a couple things and look at my brother The other thing is when my brother Because again, we are trash. We count we don't we have no financial literacy whatsoever He was like, dude, I got this awesome credit card I looked at it cards aren't awesome. And yeah, and it was like first gear and no whatever and then it was like 88 I was a motherfucker if you don't pay this off. It is going to quadruple
Starting point is 00:15:12 And I just gave him the balance. I was like and now I'll just every holiday until $10,000 worth. I'm just like that's he's just and that so I would like to be clear I gave him whatever I gave him on top of the debt What a good man, but yeah, it's like he was like yeah, like Truly no one in my family understands fucking sure the understands money what including myself like I don't know What the fuck we just had a we did on patreon. We have my buddies a financial advisor. He came in Our minds we are No, dude a financial advisor would fucking slap me in the face do 50% or like put 50% away
Starting point is 00:15:56 I'm like 50% That's why I want to just buy a house because I have that dumb That dumb village or brain where it's like I don't want to learn what stocks are no I don't want to do any of this shit. I want to buy a house So I'll just put all my money into that and I want to fucking maybe make a sick kitchen like you know I've got those yeah, I've got those dreams of just a giant stainless steel fucking vikings everywhere The whole fucking so you're not doing the Bitcoin the NFTs on that all that is bullshit Okay, you're a fucking dumb bitch if you have any
Starting point is 00:16:27 And I want to be very clear about you hear that ma I mean, that's just another like America is so fucked that they just have to create new pyramid schemes to get people I was like you're gonna do a garbage NFT. I'm like we're comedians. I'm not learning NFTs. Also. No, they're fucking stupid They don't you don't own it's just like ownership. You could argue that no one really owns land, right? Like I'll hear that where it's like you can't really we shouldn't have private property I'll listen to that so now you want to tell me that the idea of a picture of a floating somewhere And then it's so funny because it's like I think the money to be made has been made maybe yeah some of the like Technology will probably stay around and stuff like that. Maybe some of the blockchain shit
Starting point is 00:17:10 Well, which I still don't understand but like NFTs. It's oh, it's truly. Oh, well, somebody so didn't feel so someone stole Hey guys give it back What are they taking the only they hacked these hackers and wasn't he in the movie hackers exactly that's pretty fucking Who Seth Green? No, not in hackers. Okay, so he went to get the picture. He won't cut that he went to get the picture Make me look cool It was literally looking at hackers t-shirts to buy today So he went to get the picture and the picture was gone see this exact the fact that you Is a is an indictment of how stupid this yeah, yeah, I think it's a nerd shit. It stinks. So no, I want a house
Starting point is 00:17:53 That's it. Yeah. Yeah, I agree. Maybe you do on your I don't like that commie talk Wow Funger start making a grand on patreon all of a sudden all of a sudden it's fucking pull yourself up by your bootstraps Brian Kemp on this I can't let's talk about but your box put your box put your box put your box. That's right, baby What do you like to grill? What's a guy like you do little chicken do little fish? That's pedestrian. Sure I like a nice burger. Maybe a hundred percent grass fed Maybe from some nice ground beef. I like a nice brat. I like it all baby
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Starting point is 00:20:02 Five pounds of chicken drumsticks and a pack of burgers for free. What's that number? Yeah? That's crazy. They're giving us stuff They're giving a store away. That's butcher box comm slash a yg to claim this deal do it Can't let's talk about under tack under tacked underwear. Let's talk about underwear, buddy I got it on right now actually nice where to God feel like a badass Don't it's real smooth to make me feel sexy got to get on that under attack gang top quality stuff Feels good. You don't feel like a bozo walking around and best thing is battle tested by special forces. What I swear They got holy shit mind got a holster on it Kitty first little 22
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Starting point is 00:21:24 I'm throwing them flashbangs at my wife. There you go. Good job of black water And if it's not enough under tack donate a portion of its profits to veteran run organizations that are actively fighting human trafficking What are we doing? These are the good guys. Let's go get under tack.com. That's get under tack.com offer code garbage 20 do it I do the other one that would doubt the big one was the Domino's first pizza hut. Yeah, we did that We did that a while ago on the patreon and your What are your thoughts well because we were device so this is where I see it give me the let me I want to weigh in on where the fellas are here
Starting point is 00:22:02 And I think I was able to turn him. Okay, right? I'm saying Domino's as a whole is better Because I think Pizza Hut had glory days sure in the 90s. They are nowhere near that anymore So we're trying we're discussing peak Peak of the powers. I don't think there's any discussion. No, no, no, no, pizza hut had a buffet the fucking big red Dining experience everything Talk about your first clips of being an elevator. Yes. Yes. When you walked in there very much the Montreal seasoning of pizza
Starting point is 00:22:39 Yeah, yeah, yeah, you walk in there on a Friday night. Oh my god family. Absolutely. Of course space invaders Why the pies cooking? Okay, I don't peek for it. It's Undebatable, okay, I like okay, but we can start there start there We have some common ground if you're on the road you're in fucking, you know Missouri, yeah, everything's closed. The only thing open is Pizza Hut and Domino's water. I'm still going Pizza Hut Really? I really am. The problem is you still can't find Pizza Hut. That's a problem with the company If the argument hinges on accessibility it hinges on, you know The I mean true just accessibility and I also think Pizza Hut has a little issue here because we are always going to measure it
Starting point is 00:23:23 By the greatness of its past. Sure where Domino's is a little Johnny come lately, right? It's like the Roman Empire Yeah, it's like it's a yeah, exactly if you think if you're comparing like Italy now look fucking nice They're doing all right, you know, yeah, now do they have do they have they conquered half the world? No, it's a little island of some fucking greasy sexual harassers You're not going to watch the lions fight There's some nice there's some fucking nice beaches the food is good and then Domino's is I don't even know What's the country equivalent of some shitty? You know, it's not shitty. It's pretty good. It's fine. It's fine And that's the thing they when you get one that game a little I've been the dominant
Starting point is 00:24:06 Don't talk to me like I haven't had Domino's recently I've had it but when you get one with where it comes out right and it's hot and it's fresh and it's quick You order online out to talk to anybody. It's fine again fine But I still I still say that the highest even today the high of a high pizza hut is Is better? We still have pan pizzas right you have a crispier little oilier crunchier little fucking, you know Love's gone man. They're dominoes doesn't pan pizza pretty well I have I just have their their standard the standard but they do the nice crust with the parmesan butter or whatever
Starting point is 00:24:47 And here's the thing about that crust it is an improvement Fundamentally, it's the same crust Fundamentally, it's still the same chew the same mouth feel right. It's all the same shit Whereas I I contend that pizza hut does have better crust and if you're if your argument is look Dominoes is like, you know pizza hut is the fuck, you know, the girl you were Yes, the best, you know, she would suck your dick you're you would go cross-eyed like you're in the three stooges She was the girl you dated with rich parents exact rich parents, but also but also she had empathy. She wasn't like them She had empathy, you know what I mean? She wasn't like republican foley over here
Starting point is 00:25:24 Didn't want to hear any commie talk. She was given 20s to homeless people. You know what I mean? She was buying new stuff didn't want you to feel bad hot smoking hot, but She would disappear for a month. You know what I mean? She would leave you hot and cold And it's like if now I think I'm the kind of guy I'd rather chase that love affair than a seven and a half that's always there for you And that's what dominoes is, you know, you can't get it. We can't get it here Right, you can't get a dominoes in the store or uh, you can't get a pizza hut in the store. You're correct Pizza hut. I don't even know where they do. There's nowhere to be found. They're not even there
Starting point is 00:25:56 When's the last time you had pizza hut? Let's start there. That's an interesting question But to be fair, I don't have dominoes that much either. I I have I have In the last 365 days I don't know actually truly. I don't know maybe not is the answer because I when I get pizza I get like I have my spots in a story of their local chains. It's more of like we I mean we travel a lot, obviously I like uh, I mean my Well, there's that one brave. I haven't done beluches yet. Just opened. Um, I like crave. They got good wings, too Uh, for just dude the quickest a pizza has ever gotten to me
Starting point is 00:26:32 Is uh retro, you know retro on broadway I swear to that's on my block. Yeah, I swear to god The quickest to be it I have put it's not even a phone call. I put it on seamless It has come to my house nine minutes late. I love that and it's it's fully like seven minutes away Like I don't understand. They're fucking preheating these motherfuckers. I truly like it's gotten there so fast where I'm like Like I didn't even I thought it was my friend or something. I had no idea Like I was shitting. I just hit the door and the guys bang. I'm like, what the fuck house is here ready already like full They beat their seamless like, uh, uh
Starting point is 00:27:09 estimation by 20 minutes So and it's not the highest quality pizza, but it gets the job done right it's better than dominoes You know short. Well, it's new york. It's new york dominoes. You're not you're not getting dominoes in new york We're obviously on the road a lot. You get done the shows late. You're in a smaller town A lot of times only game in town is dominoes now. Look, I'll be honest here I have not been to a pizza hut in a while. It's very possible that I'm still living in these I think you're living in the glory days, man. And I would love I want now. I now I feel like I have to go to a pizza I feel like I need it. I should have prepared
Starting point is 00:27:44 I hope you're in fucking Omaha sometimes. There's none. There's no like sit down about pizza hut anymore That's another thing they cut all those out. Okay, and that's an issue but it's the wing street It's that in the wing get the fuck you're right here with the wing. Oh, but that's an issue I hate that hybrid shit. That's an issue across Uh fast food pizza places corporation. Yeah corporations. They have tried to make these fucking thing bake the wings happen And that's a spit in the consumer's face A wing needs to be fried. Put a fucking fryer in there or suck my dick. Three minutes. Yeah, what are we doing here?
Starting point is 00:28:14 It's out of control dominoes wings are you know, the wing is a wash. They're all dogs. Yeah, I'm not judging it on the fucking pasta bowls and it is Yeah, yeah, yeah Now cheesy crust You know what you know what I'll say the cheese you know where they have pizza huts That is actually a really reliable thing is on the fucking 95 rest stops. Oh, yeah That's probably I don't mind that I don't mind that that's honestly probably my last that's what you're you're down till fucking Truckers are getting blown. That's where you gotta get your pain. Yeah. I there's some about their free head and I just pay for a pizza I'm fucking commute. I'm on the jersey turn, but I'm paying 80 dollars in tolls to have a personal pain pizza
Starting point is 00:28:56 But I will say that is their strength. I'll give them that that pan that chewiness. That's that's there Yeah, how about like baseball games and chit so like and to me it's just you know But again, I'm more of a romantic like I said, I like this. I'm a home run hitter Not a great but not a great batting average, right? I like it. I don't want I respect I respect you guys can dink and dunk Getting your little singles with your with your fucking dominoes. I'm fucking I I miss a lot, but man when it connects does it connect nice and that'll never goes That will never happen at dominoes as I promise you that I'll give you that as a child. There was something The buttery-ness
Starting point is 00:29:31 The texture the oily the little bit of the garlic that was kind of on the crust. Yep Man, it was just Absolutely, and I will even say their big gimmick Stuff stuff crush not even one of their not their best pizza. No Yeah, of course. I even loved their thin crust back in the day. It's fucking all right. That's salad bar. God damn Yeah, like a fucking gentle. I there was one in Dundalk, Maryland I wonder if it's still open and if it is I'm gonna go the next time. I'm in baltimore. I'm gonna go back I bought that in a blockbuster. I think I'm gonna be all right
Starting point is 00:30:10 The one in my hometown I'm a little sour the one in my hometown Minds of dry cleaners. Yeah. Yeah mine turned into a bank It's tough to see those but a kid was shitting in the Shit in the tomato sauce or something and then serving it and he got arrested for like endangering senior citizens or something because it got delivered to a Retire that's hysterical. Yeah, it was like 13 or whatever. Wow walked out. What did he ever did he ever Speak to his motivations behind shitting probably just he was just a teenager trying to be cool or whatever pretty sure
Starting point is 00:30:41 He's dead now for sure They're sitting in some putting your ass on a big can of pasta sauce. He shot himself as they closed in on him Yeah All right, favorite flavor of Gatorade Interesting It's I would say it's between the classic yellow and the classic blue great And the frost I'd have to I think push comes to shove gun to my head. I'm going frost Okay, and having said that I like to fuck around. I like to you like the white one the white one's all right
Starting point is 00:31:14 It's big now. That's a lot of people favorite now. You know when I'm you know when I'm kids on tiktok You know what? I'm dipped my little nuts in too recently. I was I've I've the pasta sauce at yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was between. Yeah, that guy was shitting between my legs I tried body armor Peach like mango and I'll say this I've tried the not the diet and the full the diet's better Okay, so I'm a big but I don't I can't that's not energy drink though, right? It's a gator. It's a gator competitor They got like hardened. They have a couple of baseball players. I don't fucking know
Starting point is 00:31:49 They've they've tried to like really get into the the space. That's exactly the market share Don't they drink that a bar stool? Don't they have that body armor? Yeah, they might yeah, they might yeah So I will say that flavor and I can't I just discovered like I had it for the first time I was in DC to like last weekend or two weekends ago and there was a hilariously there was a standalone wawa In the middle of downtown DC like that across the street from my hotel. It was nice. I was no gas station No gas station old school and I got to say it was fucking sick Like a general because it was like yeah, it was like across the street from my hotel I you know, there's like little there's like little benches around there me and my fucking buddy
Starting point is 00:32:28 Eldest shout out to eldest who was with me We were just getting wawa and we were fucking getting high smoking a joint drinking some body armor And whatever a night for a game. That's never Yeah, I was using more as recovery Let me get a pedialyte and the meatballs up Yeah, two hours of stand-up comedy and then the damage I was doing with what I ordered uh at wawa But there's something about that peach mango. Okay. I have to do I like I have to get in the lab It's very reminiscent of a specific flavor
Starting point is 00:33:01 From childhood that I can't put my fucking. I completely agree with you. We were just talking about these ice things They're called ice they're called spark sparkling ice. They're tall skinny models. It's zero calories and there's their flavor It's a sparkling water type thing. They have an orange mango same thing. I'm like, I don't know I have one yesterday. I go. I don't know what it is It's a little sunny deish It's a little sum and it must be it must be some kind of chemical exactly that was in a maybe a capri sun Maybe a cooler or something like that, but not quite not as tart. Yes as the ecto cooler. It's a little lighter Yes, yeah, yeah peach mango
Starting point is 00:33:37 I'm on the case I love that. Yeah, I'm about to go get some right now Were you guys so be people back in when you just kids? No, that was that was fucking lala palooza I was new age shit to me get out of here with that belly button ring. I hate I hate to agree with them Yeah Jennifer aniston can kick rocks I tried to get into sobie every once in a while and it just I would do it, but as a poser Yeah, it wasn't in my heart. It wasn't in my heart. Yeah, I would get them just to be cool just to just to pretend
Starting point is 00:34:13 I'm not these guys, you know But ultimately something was off. I will admit it never it never clicked. I love how you're trying to distance yourself I've always been crazy. I've always We just debated dominoes were a hot seriously for 20 minutes. I'm not like these lose. No, exactly That's always been that's always been how I've seen myself. I'm like, I'm better than everyone I grew up with Like we had a very similar, you know shitty. Uh, yeah middle class, you know, uh, what's the fucking what? I'm sorry. This is third banks suburban working class scumbags. No. No. No. No. This is republicans regional region Oh, northeast like northeast mid-atlantic
Starting point is 00:34:50 All right, my third podcast of the day. Yeah, what about uh fruitopia would you we guys around same thing? That was that was a hope he was all right. We couldn't touch it remind me Henry. It was very It was very soby. Yeah, I don't remember a fruit, but they were good and here's one that your pride said deep deep deep I'm ready clearly canadian. You know what I'm talking about. They were in like perrier bottles They looked like sparkling water, but they were actually flavor. They had flavor. They had sugar in them. They were there. Yeah They would not do the raspberry one of those but knock your socks off. I was a big I was a big, um Arizona iced tea. Of course. Of course. That was my go to of course. We were we were snapples definitely had a moment
Starting point is 00:35:31 Yeah, snap on a moment. Snapple was the fucking king the bottle I still wasn't a huge snapple guy. I mean my dad was big on snapple from like price club and fucking sam's club and that kind of Shit, we were a lot of iced tea though growing up Wawa iced tea was that was in the fridge to have gal and yeah Yeah, we were Truly the drinks were even shittier than what we're talking about. Remember that shit tampico That fucking like by the gallon like I don't truly like radioactive. I don't know that This is from you. No, that's why the laundry detergent. No, no exactly. It is. That was nowhere near a cooler. No, that was
Starting point is 00:36:05 Exactly. Oh, that's done. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. That's like fake orange. I listen. What can I say? You're trying to get all fucking up and he next to me. Here's the difference. I grew up with less money more class This is poverty. You know what I mean? Sure. This is my mother. Fabuloso I went to the theater you piece of shit, you know My mom took us to museums. Yeah, your mom was getting you that. Yeah, that that is literally that was he was trying to have play up She was like I honestly did not understand how poor we were
Starting point is 00:36:38 And it was like looking at this. I'm like that went in my body. It was dude. It was my fave me and my brothers We're like tampico tampico. You were fucking addicted to the sugar. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah I think my mom tried to wean us off and we would we were like fucking getting a shake Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but yes, that is that is definitely like a Truly that's crazy. I need to make $20 stretch Drink, you know what I mean? And it was like we had and we did for a while We did fucking uh juice from concentrate until we got too snooty for that like frozen. Oh, that's all that was orange juice Yeah
Starting point is 00:37:13 Eat it like a popsicle Dude the powder mom would freak out then she would have to make The fucking then she'd have to make it with half of it. My brother's like what the fuck sucks Thank your brother. He ate it all Fucking screaming at me Yeah, yeah, yeah, no yikes yikes Kepp let's talk about titan titan titan titan in this day and age if you need if you don't know how to do something What do you do? Do you try to figure it out yourself or you hire an expert to do it?
Starting point is 00:37:41 You hire an expert to do it. Why would it be different when it comes to investing? Listen, this crypto thing is real Okay, a lot of stuff's real going on out there and you got to get on titan They can help you out. They got experts to handle your financials. Yeah, uh As everyday investors the cards are stacked against us if you're the little guy the day trader you're trying to put I got 500 here. I got a hundred that you don't know what you're doing. Yeah, you know what I mean I'm picking lottery numbers anymore. Yes, but we've been getting we've been given access to the marketplace of stocks But we're competing against institutional investors with unlimited resources They got whole teams of guys going over charts and grass meanwhile. You're picking your belly button men's men with jobs
Starting point is 00:38:17 I know But when you're wealthy you have access to these teams of best experts of different types of portfolios investment vehicles and much more growing your Long-term wealth isn't something you should just do yourself. You can sit back You shouldn't just sit back and shoot for average returns with titan You have personal investment team that research is an invest for you and then can they aim to outperform the market While giving you a courtside seat to become a smarter investor along the way to get with titan You get access to strategies similar to those with the one Similar similar to those in the one percent without having to be ultra wealthy or pay hefty fees
Starting point is 00:38:53 All's it takes is a hundred bucks to get started. You deposit your money Selected with the portfolios you want to invest in and that's easy peasy Me and you both got set up not too long ago. They put a couple of free bucks in our account where I'm playing chess over here What's that? Give me two of those one of them too shabby Um, check out titan if you want to aim to become a smarter Uh wealthier investor than you've ever been so head to titan.com. Subscribe to get $50 when you invest with titan You must go to the url Or you will not get the $50 and they will not know we sent you
Starting point is 00:39:25 That's $50 when you go to titan.com slash garbage and invest with titan Free 50 bucks. Give it a shot. Yes. This is a sponsored podcast ad. I am a client of titan and invest in multiple Things in my portfolio. Check it out Now back to the show back to the show any clocks in your house that are wrong Right now. What's the other way? That's a good question my oven may be wrong. I haven't I haven't checked Okay, I've been literally I did just spring forward to not too long ago. I got my car's wrong. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah car was a big one I haven't been to my car since that so probably but yeah oven
Starting point is 00:40:03 could be wrong but see my roommate is uh, one of my best friends he's like my best friend from college and uh, we kind of live like a like a gay couple was like two incomes, you know, like and he uh, he is kind of he's like a little like Anal about things like that. So he probably he probably takes care of it. Probably checked it, but he's also been gone. So I'll text you. I'll go home. I'll text you like does he keep the house tight? He does he's he's the reason like like I'm the problem in the house for sure. Like I could have picked up. Yeah If I show it like I if he he's like in portland right now if he cut his trip early if he showed up today
Starting point is 00:40:40 I would be mortified dude. It's my luggage is just on the couch. Like I got back Monday I got back Monday. It's what is today Thursday? Yeah, I haven't like my just luggage is kind of zipped out because I had no I I did laundry before I left. So I was like, oh instead of putting my clothes back. I've just been taking I'm in my own home living out of a suitcase. I haven't unpacked since chicago. Yeah I have just a bat like a gar a hefty bag like a garbage industrial bag of Every night seamless order that just goes right in there Put it in there
Starting point is 00:41:17 That's just like, you know kebab sushi whatever the fuck whatever I know you're a piece of shit when you're opening that bag and you intend to keep it Like you don't rip it. Yeah Later to make the clean up easier because you know you're a piece of shit. Yeah, and I just don't clean up till the next day Oh, yeah, it's like, you know, I just like get I just eat that. That's my fucking heroin and I just eat way too much and then I pass the fuck I take a couple melatonin so I'm trying to get off the weed right now And I just pass the fuck out wake up the next day groggy as a bitch and just like all this dried like sauce
Starting point is 00:41:49 Oh, yeah, I'm like chip it off the table and shit like that. So we sauce everywhere. It's brutal. No, my apartment sucks right now How's the uh, how's the credit score these days? Very good credit actually very good always had I always did have pretty good credit Yeah, yeah, yeah, because I uh, I didn't have Any student debt. Okay, and my father was so in debt that it scared me Sure, so I just never had any until Until I bought that house in greek town. Uh-huh. I and I guess my car loan Okay, I had no those were the only two things that was the only time I was ever in debt So you own your car own my car. What are you rolling around in?
Starting point is 00:42:25 2012 corolla, okay, you know, you still make a payment on it. No, no The fuck that's the whole reason I you think I Two years left on this bad boy Yeah, my monthly payment's eight dollars I'll be passing it off to my son He can uh, what what kind of air freshener are you kicking around with in that corolla? No freshener. Just raw dog Stop me, baby. What's that car like? Is it a tough scene in bed in there? You know, it's not how many water bottles on the ground solely because I've basically stopped driving
Starting point is 00:43:00 I've been on the road so much. Well, I see this in my cars my car. I parked under a tree for three weeks It looks like I just pulled it out of a swamp It looks like it was underwater. I'm actually thinking about giving it to my mom because I just don't drive at all So I think I think that's going to be for little v dude. She's getting that one How do you handle the tickets you get to do you on the street? Do you have it in garage? Oh, I have a garage even in garage. Yeah. Yeah. It's pretty classy. Yeah. You have a favorite frozen pizza Uh, I'm a freshener, man Yeah, freshener is better
Starting point is 00:43:30 That's all right. I think that's square. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's not. I just chopped up a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. Shedda That was that there was a moment in my life in our lives where I was like Where we upgraded to freshener because that my mom did it. I think I think um Sam's club or Costco, whichever one started carrying those And that was a big moment. I was like, whoa, we're doing all right. Oh, you want you eat the giorno Dude, the giorno way we were a tombstone house And we had the giorno, you like the giorno, right for shut over the giorno all day sure, but that's all fries and crust and nothing Yeah, yeah, that's a nice glass of milk
Starting point is 00:44:06 We got you can't don't bring the milk up again. All right, you fucking piece of trash That sucks. It's the worst makes me so fucking mad and what makes it worse is that there's like a sizable part of the population He agrees with him 50 50, dude. It's just spit. I got a base, baby. I got a base These people are walking around and we don't know it. You know, like horrible. There might be people. I love You know, it creates a consistency in your mouth where it feels like you're eating caulk or something. It's not good stinks, dude It really is horrendous. I love you peeing in the shower. I assume right, of course brush your teeth in there I do not really I have a you know
Starting point is 00:44:45 expensive toothbrush Here's here's trash. Is it electric? It's electric, but I started brushing my teeth every day when I turned 30 If you want to talk about trash, that was one of those like that was a wake up call overworked mothers Just like, you know, there's one thing you just didn't do it. Sure. She's like, uh brush your teeth They're just so tired that she just never and it was literally I wasn't even losing my tooth That did it for for whatever reason it was just like One day I woke up. I was like, I should brush my did you lose your tooth because of decay? No, it was like it was something random That's the thing. It's like it wasn't that it was just like, you know
Starting point is 00:45:22 So it was like an old injury apparently that just gets worse over time Right and you don't like it should have It's I don't even know what it was But it just kind of started getting weaker and then the final straw was cracking it on a chicken wing But not brushing my teeth had nothing to do with that. I think are you flossing? I've got flossers Do you know the brand check out glide? I think it's by like I think I'm glad the green ones. Yeah They're orgasmic when they go in they go in real fucking smooth
Starting point is 00:45:51 What about uh in the in the bedroom there? Do you sleep at your socks on? No, what are you sleeping? It's crazy. I'm a boxers guy. Just boxers. No, sometimes I'll go fully nude Sometimes fresh out the shower clean sheets. I'm rubbing my little my little fresh nuts all over there. Are those sheets clean? I I Most I'll go two weeks without how do you do the laundry to drop it off a drop off. Yeah I'm stunted in prep two weeks two weeks tops. Good for you. Sometimes I'll switch them out. I would go 18 months if I didn't have a wife Yeah, I don't think I would ever it's bad. Here's here's class. Here's here's new money class
Starting point is 00:46:28 The reason it's two weeks is because we get a fucking cleaning and she does them every two weeks. She does them Yeah, yeah, I I will if I want to I'll do them, you know once if there's been a particular If there's been a couple incidents, yeah, yeah, yeah, we've got a couple squirters over You know, it's like maybe one day. I'll enjoy a little hint of pussy sheets But like after that you got to change a couple of squirt Wait, hold on the cleaning lady's doing the laundry. What do you have a washer and dryer in the building? I no, no, I set out the clean sheets and she'll change she changes them. That's Wow
Starting point is 00:47:01 That's like rich guy shit. Yeah. That's what I picture like It's awesome. Yeah, exactly. So does every pillow in your bedroom have a pillowcase on it. It does. Wow. I am stunned by that I pictured you on a single mattress no sheets on the floor. Yeah, that's me seven years ago You know six years ago for sure. Is your bed in the corner of the room? You have two two egresses. Yeah Absolutely, okay, cool fucking couple floating shelves on either side tv in the room tv in the room But I got a it's a tv called the frame. I got that. There we go. Yeah, which which color frame did you go with? We just still have the we didn't actually put the frame see that's you know, I see I don't yeah frame is nice Because no one know it really is I thought it came with it and then it came and then we were being my wife
Starting point is 00:47:47 We're looking I'm like, I'm not sure and then it looks From what I've seen it. I haven't seen it in person, but you're you're you're selling me on it I'm telling you in person it makes a huge difference where people are like They're they it doesn't look like a tv with the frame on they're just like what is it They'll be like is it some kind of like art like what the fuck is it and then you turn the tv on it's like kind of sick You know, that's how you get the girl squirt totally. Yeah. Yeah, I like it. It's the lg frame. See that painting over the air What's the news? Well, it is funny because they pitch it as like hey you can no, I've never put a screensaver up We have one that pops like I press a button. I don't know why I'll randomly press a button
Starting point is 00:48:23 Turning it late over. Yeah, I just I keep it off and it just looks kind of nice So with the frame on So yeah tv though, you gotta have as far as wings go Now we're finally getting into it the drumstick or the flat You know, I was a drumstick guy and I've become a flat guy Are you doing the the new thing that the kids are doing with the flats now or you crush it down? I I just I have always done that but in my own mouth I have always just
Starting point is 00:48:49 You know, I've learned the ways, you know, the way hot girls would tie a cherry stem The fat guy equivalent is putting a drumette in your mouth. It's like how tom and jerry used to eat fish Exactly, exactly You see what fish at least. Yeah, the whole the whole boat that just bones come out All right. Yeah, all right. I am a drum. You know, I am a flat guy I'll have them both obviously come on. What are we talking about here? First honest thing the man said Guy's not north korean. What are we doing here?
Starting point is 00:49:18 What's going on and I have to shout out the american comedy. If you guys have done san diego that we did la joya Dove la joya. Well, they had insanely good wings. I will say and yeah, I'm a wing connoisseur The seller has probably the best wings I've had in new york really good wings. They're so good It's wild, but there was something about the fucking american comedy company. The fry was just right Just the right kind of crunch and love a nice crunch. Yeah, soggy wings people can fuck wings up So easily most people do I would argue people do. Yeah, I think you're right ranch or blue cheese the wings I will say so ranch a high quality ranch is my favorite But the problem is those are hard to come by hard to come by
Starting point is 00:49:59 That's one of the secrets of the seller They're they're right. You're telling whatever that is, right? Well, I'm saying blue cheese is the dominoes of sauces Where it's like consistent across the board. You know what you're getting ranch is kind of pizza and I will say In this instance, I go, you know, I hold out for the ranch, but I'll happily settle for the blue cheese Okay, and if I if I'm real and look we got we got sauce money. I'll get them both You know, this isn't Bring it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm getting appetizers. I'm getting sauces, baby. What do you dip your chicken tenders in? I'll get real buck wild with that whatever they got. I'm making sauce
Starting point is 00:50:38 I mean, I'd like to have a honey mustard just as the you know emergency qb like it's just there I know it's there, but If you got an interesting sauce, I'll dip my tender Let me fuck around and see what you got That's the fucking kind of guy I am I got a number of time and money to burn, baby Give me a habanero mayo. I'll put my shit in there. Give me a some kind of cilantro base fucking Chimichurri, I'll fucking put that in there. He said that like he was splitting the ad
Starting point is 00:51:10 How did my tender dude? I don't know what you're running for, but I'm All right, I'm team stave This kid's all right. He's got a strong backbone. I like the I like the cut of his jib Tell you that right now I got one, uh, because the baltimore Uh, Philly accent are very similar yours is like a little slower, uh, you know a little more drawl on it How do you pronounce the product created by crayola? Oh, oh crayon
Starting point is 00:51:42 You say crayon. Well, I don't know you just you just Here's the thing. I don't have I don't I can do the accent Yeah, I don't you know my influences were greek people, right? So I talk I don't really have like a baltimore accent But it's like if I was doing the the baltimore guy, it would be like I let let me think about that. Crank. Yeah, he would it would be like What do you guys say crown probably I say crown he says I said crayon crane crane crane That's not right. There's like six people that say crayola crayon. I say
Starting point is 00:52:13 Yes, when you threw you threw crayola on there. You hear how bad it is Yeah, the the the the fucking juxtaposition of crayola and it's crayola crayon. It's a crayon. Yeah, crayon I don't know that sounds like an alien over crayons. No, it's not crayon. I say crown, which is wrong But if you say crayon, I say crayon. That's yeah, that's good. The the baltimore accent is only like He comes in every once in a while, but you know, I'm mostly immune most of the people that I was taught that I was talking to like greek town is a very like insular Little community. Can you speak greek today? Have I seen this? You can? Yeah. Yeah, I'm fluent. Can you write it? I can I my spelling is not great in greek and I can read it
Starting point is 00:52:52 But I read it like a fucking dumbass like I probably read like a like a stupid sixth grader. Okay A foley but I can read I can talk. Um I can speak. Yeah, I can speak it pretty good. Nice. That's pretty impressive. That's classy. Thanks, man As anybody in your family anybody, you know at all ever Ever claim that they saw UFO Or bigfoot, you know, no nobody I'm trying to think I mean My cousin has started getting my greek cousin actually started getting a little into like It's funny how like like qanon. Shit is like filtering into the rest of the world
Starting point is 00:53:28 Because it's like it's not he doesn't care that much But it's like this is a guy who was like very liberal very like left growing up. He's in greeze in greeze. Yeah And then he just like went got very weirdly anti he became an anti-vaxxer weirdly But there's never been like and he had he said something hilarious where he was like He was like he was like kind of a trump guy, but doesn't really care obviously But it was like, let me ask you this if trump is racist Then how come martin luther king jr. Son voted for him and I was like, I don't think I don't think he did Yeah, I don't I'm pretty sure he didn't he was like really. I was like, yeah, I don't think so. He's like, oh
Starting point is 00:54:07 He hadn't even like it thought about the standing up to any scrutiny. He thought I was gonna have to be like, well Sure, that's a good point, but Yeah, so no, I can't think of it would be him though. Probably If anybody sees one in the future, it's most like yeah, he's a funny weird guy And he's I love that. He is definitely a fuck. He's a fucking piece of trash for sure His whole he spent I mean he kind of got fucked because he grew up in greece He's the he's the direct generation that got fucked by the financial crisis in greece where it's like Everyone his age just didn't have a job. So he spent his like 20s
Starting point is 00:54:43 Working yeah, like he would work, you know tourism was the one industry that was popping off in greece So he would go to an island theoretically to work for the summer But he would just like he didn't have a room. He would sleep in a tent And he would just like fuck as many tourists as possible. I heard that's big in in in in greece Totally to get a good night's sleep. Yeah, you had to get that nut off Um, and he just spent his like and he was like, oh, yeah, I'm going there to work And then one summer I went there and it like kind of coincided with We were both going back. I was going back to athens the same time he was going back
Starting point is 00:55:15 And I was like, oh you taking like this, you know, oh, there's a perfect boat that gets us there really quickly He was like, he was like, yeah, that one's like 40 euros more. I'm gonna have to take the overnight boat to save like literally 40 euros He did not have the money to get to get a Normal manner to get to get home. He was like a cargo hold. He had the it was like a mega. He got the megabus version The mega boat the mega boat He took the mega boat for sure It's got luggage on a seat But it would be him for sure and I'm you know, I'm interested to see like literally within
Starting point is 00:55:47 An hour of being in greece the last time I was there. He was showing me like videos of of like The this couple fucking at a at a metallica concert He was like he was just he rules. No, he's the best But he's just like he was like an old metalhead and like he was like, dude This is pretty sick and just some girl just getting railed out and and maybe it wasn't the metallica It was just some metal show, but it was like some guys just fucking and like Some fucking bitch is getting just destroyed and he's like pretty pretty cool. He's not horny. Yeah, it's nothing like He just wanted me to see something. Yeah, awesome. Yeah
Starting point is 00:56:26 Just imagine a guy with two beers stand behind I'm like, that's my girlfriend Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I like how you tried to class it up and say it was a metallica show. Yeah Some greek cover band. He's he's seen a lot of metal show like he's he's awesome He one time he went to see he loves ozzy osbourne loves black sabbath and he went to see ozzy osbourne in london And ozzy threw his bucket of waters, right? Not a who gives it. It's like literally just a fucking bucket He went to secure it like he went to just take it with him through security in london. They're like Oh on an airplane. Yeah, yeah to go back to greece and they're like you can't camera metal Weird metal bucket and wouldn't fit in his luggage
Starting point is 00:57:03 He didn't want to like fold it break it and he somehow He was like i'm not he's like i'm taking the bucket and he got it and he somehow like the power of love for A bucket ozzy osbourne. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah push push them through push them through This was post 9 11. This was not, you know It was 9 11. He rocks for sure in the 80s. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Um, all right, we gotta do a couple from patreon. Let's do it and then we gotta we gotta wrap her up. Let's fucking do it. Um This one's from eddie. Have you ever been so high you put your turn signal on for a normal bend in the road? Like you've been so you you're just I like that 100. Yeah, I feel like I have I will say eddie
Starting point is 00:57:41 I was I was so high on my flight back from san diego that i'm still not sure where my laptop is This was four days ago And I remember in the fucking seat. I remember putting it in my backpack I have a memory of putting in my backpack and I was I took so many edibles I was high the whole day and I pretty sure I used it In my apartment and then I went back to the place I have a memory of it being And it's just not there because I was just on like I mean yeah on mars probably like 120 milligrams
Starting point is 00:58:15 Jesus Jesus I had a rough weekend I needed to sleep it off and So I truly just don't know Like I'm gonna go check my that's part of the reason I need to clean my apartment not just because of fear of my roommate But like do I have to call delta? I mean it's been days. It's probably yeah, it's probably just gone now who gives us No, they probably tend to keep them. I think okay, maybe But yes, I'm pretty sure I've done that but no To answer our man eddie's question here. I know nothing in particular comes to mind
Starting point is 00:58:45 Okay, and speaking of flying. Do you fly business or first class or yeah, or what are you doing? You only fly delta I only fly delta and it just depends, you know like price wise. I yeah, I let my nuts hang a little bit in san diego This was a first-class flight back love that And if I'm go if I'm doing something for work where I have to be there then sometimes I'm like, well You're gonna treat yourself a little bit. I'll do yeah, especially if it's like a tight turnaround And I have I just want to sleep literally like I'll do that. But you know, I try not to I still have that
Starting point is 00:59:14 I'm going to be poor of course so like wherever I can I just like get a fucking like I'll go exit My big move is exit row regular, you know, okay, because it's like they're pretty roomy Sure, where are you at? You an aisle or window guy? I'll all yeah Exit row exit row. Can I ask you this bit of a personal question? Please are you a seatbelt extender guy or no? You know, that's it's really unfortunately. It is a case-by-case basis now And I used to be a full no, okay, and that was one of the first full. Yes. I I guessed I was gonna get it I was leaning yes It's tough. That's a tough one. The reason I ask is I got removed
Starting point is 00:59:56 From the exit row because you're not physically capable. They don't think you're physically Phobia That's all racist. Yeah. Yeah. I got removed from the exit row. That's a tough one with my girlfriend The girl involved they wouldn't let her stay but they were she's like, oh, honey They go they go We sit in the exit row and then the lady walks by. I'm like, hey, can I grab a seatbelt extender? They get the seatbelt extender they come back and she's like Unfortunately, I can't have you sit here. You're too fast for this anybody switch seats with this gentleman
Starting point is 01:00:29 We got a fat ass in 14c Volunteer They were jacked too. I'm fully fully Boy scouts. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My girlfriend's like, I'm gonna stay here. I'm gonna take the middle seat Fine, but I'm eating your cheese. It's dead bitch A basket a basketball team got on one of our flights and sat next to me on the aisle and fully was on the window And I saw him talking shit about bully in his group text
Starting point is 01:01:07 You didn't tell me that Piece of shit. Oh, that's fucking hilarious. No, that's a real tough one. And that's why it's like that's also why like I had to fly southwest recently and that's brutal because it's like I need to be above this like I'm I'm on a plane. I don't need that bus energy of someone I refuse to fly spirit. We just I'm like, I well, it's always clearly the cheapest, but I'm like, I just can't do that You can't do that. You said you're an eye. I'll lose money. You're I'll I'll yeah I need to know where my seat is because I hate that as a fat man I know you know this where people just like are scanning and just
Starting point is 01:01:42 Frantically trying to do the math and when they've done it and they're like they cannot avoid sitting next to you. They're just like I do a whole bit about it. Yeah, they're fucking staring at it. You get it. You get it pieces of shit Judgmental mother fuckers, but it's typically I got a thyroid condition. We typically put Toby next to him to give him a buffer So like he loves that Treat him like a body pillow So well, but then if there is an open seat available toby then moves, you know what I mean? Like if there is of course, of course, of course, we try to protect a big man at all cost You would think that is very fragile fucking ego
Starting point is 01:02:21 If anybody from the airline industry is out there get rid of that bar at the bars. Yeah, that one doesn't go up If that went up, you'd you change me. I'm rest. Yes I'm the one on the aisle goes up and then once we take off I pop that over and I'm fucking Chill total fucking cocktail I turned around I got up to go to the bathroom like when they took to when they you know We were allowed to move and I turn around and he's behind dude. He was in like the whole It was like that's my favorite That's the one your knee gets just fucking brutalized by the cart You're like I feel like fat people the only ones when they come up with the snacks
Starting point is 01:03:11 She just hands me all three doesn't even ask never says Yeah, and I'm like hands them to me get these nuts out of my face bitch and give me two chocolate kind bars That's the states are all right Many cliff bars ain't nothing. I wouldn't get them out of bed either Pita butter mini cliffy. Those are great. Those are great Keep the bizcoffs coming. I don't mind the bizcoffs. Those are diecokes. All right Those are blowing up in here though. They get they get up in your uh, they get all up in my teeth You've had the bizcoff butter
Starting point is 01:03:42 The cookie butter. No, I heard it's good though You want to get in there you want to get in there? I don't give it a whirl. Yeah, that was for Foley We were connecting. Are you gonna go see top gun 100%? Thank you A thousand percent if you had to choose between an ice cream cone regular Sugar pretzel waffle. Wow. What are you doing? What's stopping waffle? Okay. I like a nice waffle. Gentlemen. Yeah I like that. I'll take that. I think I think yeah, that's like the Montreal seasoning. It's like you gotta you're elevated to a pretzel waffle Sometimes you do just one guy's class softy. Of course. Oh mr. Softy. You get her you get a regular cone. Yeah, of course You can't get a waffle at mr. Soft. We were talking about bad snacks when we were a kid. We were talking about croutons last week
Starting point is 01:04:28 I I remember just eat croutons 100. Yeah, I remember Yeah, absolutely. I remember also just bacon bits. Oh, yeah Nothing like being a little fat piece of shit being an eight and being at a all you can eat buffet with a salad bar Coming back with one piece of lettuce That is basically serving Be acting as a second plate. Yeah, and just fucking it up with croutons, bacon bits and ranch And just making a little like a pre-diabetic soup It's more of a challenge. A little shredded cheddar on there. A nice little delivery. A gazpacho
Starting point is 01:05:03 But I should just eat uh ice cream cones by themselves Oh It's honestly rare that somebody can say something that even I'm like god Like someone can out fat child me, you know, you got me. There's anybody that can do it. You got me there with just fucking Yeah, let's do two more from the page on and we can wrap her up Um, it's from matt have you ever had to go ask? Have you ever had to ask a shoe store employee to borrow a sock to try on a shoe? That's a bad one or ask for the shoe horn. Uh, not the shoe horn, but I have
Starting point is 01:05:42 Well, I've never asked, but they have those little fucking weird booties. Yeah. Yeah, I definitely feel like a ballet dancer Yeah, yeah, yeah, feels like you're wearing a pantyhose. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah Exactly we get the we get the uh, uh Experiment with our gender identity in a safe space with this. Yes, exactly. Oh, but it's like trying on shoes of pay less I'm a footlocker. Oh back again. Yeah, I just wanted to try some stuff. I love your blouse. Yeah I remember one time I went my parents took me out to get new shoes and like I took my shoes off and there was just like They were mostly holes. Yeah Fucking peasy. We looked like
Starting point is 01:06:22 Proper that's like depression era like trailer. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That was the thing about being being like that when we were kids there was always such an emphasis on Not letting anybody know you're everybody knew it. Yeah, but certain things. Yes Get dirty socks on. What's wrong with you? Barry Will you are you a water bottle guy like a roof like a reusable water bottle? Will you use the refillable water bottle station at the airport? I will. Yeah, really? Okay, I think that's pretty
Starting point is 01:06:54 But here's the thing if I don't I steal the water bottles I've stolen a water bottle every time everybody seals on the airport all coming the airport I mean the first of all the air yes, because it's like you spend so much your life in an airport that you're like I need something back from you, you know, I understand and also they're begging you to steal waters They're out there. The no one's around you fucking a lot of new ones. They don't even have like a checkout person Like you check out you're just supposed to check out yourself. I'm like, what are you fucking? This is disrespectful And it also costs $7. I know if it costs two bucks. I would buy the water, but that's you know, so yeah
Starting point is 01:07:31 Hmm a hotel What about them? Do you leave uh, you ever been to one? You have that's cool What do you leave for the cleaning lady? 10 bucks 20 bucks. Okay depends depends how much merch I usually don't if I have cash I'll you know, yeah, I'll usually be 20 of merch money. Okay, you know good You like the early check-in you do an early check-in guy if I you know when I try and time it so that there's no issues with With the check-in, you know
Starting point is 01:07:59 But yeah, I'll try and get there as early as possible You know if I can't if I can check in I'll check in as early as possible But I like to I like to time it right around three so there's no no issue If they with when they dare say it's not ready to check in time that's we've had that one truly despicable You're just like walking around Rochester or something. Yeah, I gotta leave here. I leave my luggage here. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah tag Yeah, I like to avoid that if possible 100% 10 bucks. That's pretty clay. See He's yeah Are you I yeah, you know, it depends. It depends. It also depends on
Starting point is 01:08:31 How how long I'm there, you know, I would say 10 is like if nothing There's no like, yeah Are you trash in that room? The what was I last in San Diego? I think I was just like I left the 20 I mean, I usually leave 20 if it's a full weekend, but it's like a one nighter here. Whatever. I'll just do whatever You're going through all those towels, right? Huh, you're going through all the towels. Yeah. Yeah. You leave him in one little area Or you just you put them together a little bit a little bit. Yeah, dirty. Yeah, yeah
Starting point is 01:08:59 Fucking gentleman. Oh Yeah, their lives and the thing is like tipping I do like tipping a lot because it's just like Who gives a fuck? I know it doesn't My life is barely impacted and I'm like a good tip makes somebody's fucking day, you know, so it's like, you know Wait, just but if I'm really if I really fuck a room up, I'll I might even drop 40 Yeah, just because you're like, I'm sorry. I'm like, I'm really sorry. You don't make eye contact when you're walking down the hallway Sorry about that dump in the sink. Oh the smell the musk Around some little windows. You can't open
Starting point is 01:09:33 It's bad jam them up Ladies and gentlemen Brand new debut special coming out June 5th on youtube. Make sure you check it out. He's one of the absolute best Thanks, you're fucking killing it, buddy. Thank you for having me. Couldn't be more proud of you. Couldn't be more happy for you Thank you same Thank you for coming in stopping anything you want the folks out there to know other than the special Yeah, just especially it'll be a live premiere eight o'clock eastern five o'clock pacific I'll be in the little chat
Starting point is 01:10:03 Fucking around, you know, I'll have a couple friends. You guys are welcome to come. Thanks getting the chat. We'll fuck around Um, but yeah, just follow the youtube, you know, that's I'm putting a lot of effort into the youtube channel He's cooking it's not just the special I also put two longer videos a week and every day a very short clip will be on youtube And tiktok instagram or whatever you prefer, but yeah, that's the main shit go That's what I'm I'm really I really want people to see this thing and you know, what's the name of your youtube channel? It's just my name stavros alkis. Just just look me up on youtube and uh, yeah, that's it Can't wait for the special to come out. Thank you boys for having me. Thank you, buddy
Starting point is 01:10:40 It feels like we did we I literally could do this for fine We just argued over peace on he just asked me the stupidest questions i've ever heard in my life I prefer this more than any like any interviews. This is the best in the world I don't care how you started. Let's get what are you dipping your 10? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? So you started doing over. I don't give a fuck All right, you're writing process. Huh? What about the five alive? What are you doing there? Kibby, what do you got for him? Uh, just you know, check us out youtube patreon. Itunes. Check us out on the road Yeah, we're gear enough for a fucking second leg. Uh, the second half of the we're adding like 20 cities or something
Starting point is 01:11:21 Come see us. They're a good fucking time. Yeah gang. We love you. We'll see you next week. Peace

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