Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Stavros Halkias Returns!
Episode Date: May 30, 2022Kippy & Foley are joined by old pal Stavros Halkias! Its a fun one! Thanks for listening. Love youse guys. Live Shows: https://linktr.ee/AreYouGarbage PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage ... https://www.GETUNDERTAC.COM Offer code GARBAGE20 https://www.ButcherBox.com/AYG https://www.HelixSleep.com/Garbage https://www.BoxOfAwesome.com Promo Code: GARBAGE https://www.BetterHelp.com/GARBAGE
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Pittsburgh Buffalo Detroit the middle-class famous tour is coming your way a little mix of stand-up comedy
Play a little a yg with the crowd. It's gonna be a good time. Yeah guys get the homies come out
It's a good way to introduce him to the show. We're gonna be in Buffalo on June 14th
We're gonna be in Pittsburgh on June 15th and Detroit June 16th get those tickies. We'll see you there. Yeah
Welcome to another exciting edition of are you garbage?
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or
Absolute trash
Now here are your hosts Kevin Ryan and H Foley
Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast. This is our you garbage
Mm-hmm. Well show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find out that you're to be classy
Yeah, or if they're just a big old piece of trash
I'm your host AIDS Foley coming at you on a beautiful day. We're down here at Antutti's basement. She's upstairs
She's organizing a new lemonade stand of sorts. Okay, but for catalytic converters
Okay, so if you're in the market and you're looking for something cheap come by the spot
My co-host is coming at you from right next to me unamused again this week
He's my best pal in the whole wide world and I love them give it up for KJ Kevin James Ryan
Hey gang, thanks for tuning in as always make sure your reviews fire on the writers
Rape reviews subscribe on itunes full video available new tube as you know those numbers are through the roof cookin
And then obviously the greatest website of all time
Patreon.com
Check it the fuck out ladies and gentlemen. It's a game changer over there
Come see me in Tuscany this summer and have a nice quick shout out to our producer extraordinaire
The magic man makes us all look good. You love him. We love him. Give it up for T-Bone McButtons. Toby McMullen. What's up, dude?
Stop T-Bone got a hot one man. We got a hot one. We got the fucking kid in here. We got the coolest kid in school
The new kid coming in
He's got a girlfriend up in Canada, but we still love got she's got a huge
Gang we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly special guest back with us again today
Extremely funny stand-up comedian tours all over me taste up
This kid kills it on twitch on tiktok on YouTube on Instagram on Twitter, and he's got a brand new special his debut special
Oh, right coming out June 5th on YouTube called live at the Lodge room ladies and gentlemen give it up for the pride of Baltimore
Stavros
Are we doing boys we're doing good. Oh, I'm happy to be here. I would like for the record to state
Oh boy that I you guys have had a lot of like big names. I'm
Real you're a big name
I'd like for the record that I did this podcast when I was sure it would fail
I'm returning now that it is a success, and I'm very happy for you, but I remember getting the email and being like
Alright, I'll deal. Those are funny guys
I'll do it for them. It was early to early
And it was in the middle a couple of months into the pot. Yeah, I was like this is good
They're one last attempt and then
And then maybe if I'm in helium they can feature for me
You know that's kind of how I approached it, and I'm very happy to see you guys thriving and I love it
I can say that's the fact that you know the truth of course means things are going well
We're on the other side that's patreon.com keep it in that patreon take one more swing, baby
2,000 people yeah when you did you do it early? I think I don't think you had a shirt on when we did it
I forgot about it. I got a text a frantic text. Oh, yeah, my vintenette's fucked. Let me plug. Let me plug the router in
You're sitting there with like the mics the cans on I'm like the zooms recording. I'm like, have you heard from them?
But I'm out of back the studio is fucking sick it looks awesome. I remember your camera turned on you were brushing your teeth or something
I was also losing my mind during the pandemic, so it actually was nice to talk to someone and just do something sure that was deep
Pandemic that was that was $400 grocery store orders. That was fucking crushing fucking
Breaking bad. Yeah, that was that was knee-deep and that was the getting fat as hell
Man never see civilization again part of the pandemic. What a ride that was it was a fun time man
Fucking grocery store the pandemic was all right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Congratulations on the special. Thanks, dude
Things have been going incredibly well. I'm trying. I'm working. Yeah before we get into the patreon questions
We want to do a little follow up here. It's been a while
Let's do it. I
Know you have a slight bone to pick with me. Oh, yeah
Dug up some of my old tweets. That's right. I'm trying to get me cancer. What one the old Bay
Yeah, yeah, we've got a lot. I feel like that's that's me and fully's relationship
But she puts out a food take and I'm like, I'll execute. Yeah
Well, we're out of your mind. I have a machete. I'm outside of your house
Very quick. I'll kill you
I think we also had a pizza disagreement
Well, that's another one
Yeah, but I just want to let's start I just want to
Get it going. I'm ready to fucking go
I'm close dude. I'm close to the tail
I want to clarify the old Bay comment. All right, cuz that's like sacred. It is that's like an angel dust where you come from
Shrimp crabs, okay, but these bozos up here in Philly. They put it on fucking everything
Crab crab crab fries are big where we call I love them. Yeah, do you love them unimpeachable crab fries?
Are you out of your mind? Really? It's a fucking perfect. It's it's thank you
What are you a little bit of cheese on the side a little? Yeah, absolutely
If you if you can recreate like a cream of crab soup
This guy knows what I'm on team stop, you know a little cream a little cheese a little old Bay get that look as listen
We take a chowder we want to soup we want to liven up our fries
How many let the fries live are we kidding we both shop at the same store Foley
I've seen that shirt on the DXL rack. All right, don't come at me pretending
You don't want different variations of fries. Thank you. It's not like it's not a fucking. It's not a zero-sum game
Uh-huh. There's no need to bring DXL
Don't hurt him over there
I'm back in unfortunately nine months in a row of touring. I had to dip my toes back
But that's my point is like give me every type of fry. Yes, I want it out there
I want you don't have it every day, but you have the option if you're there. Hey, you know what?
I've had the sweet potato fries. I had the regular chicken fry. Give me the crabby
You like the old bay chips, too. I would assume right yeah, what are they hers?
Someone's got hers doesn't yeah
Is that the silver bag one? It's is the golden bag. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's all right. They're good. They're very good
They're very good. I put them on parole. I put old Bay on parochies. I don't give up. I'll do it on anything
Like I bad idea shrimp. I think they shine definitely
It's shrimp shrimp and then there's nothing better than exactly sucking off the fucking old Bay off
Just suck in the crab leg
Getting a little under the fingers. Yeah, the finger you get a cut. It's painful, but it's how you know, you're alive
Where do you stand on a Montreal steak seasoning mantra? Oh, okay interesting fan. I this is
There's a reason this was a success
For fucking yeah listeners look like you two for idiots like me. Yeah, this is these are the deep philosophical questions
I want to have I don't want to talk, you know
Snifter yeah, yeah, yeah Montreal seasoning is I would say it's an it's an entryway
It's a gateway into the larger seasoning world
It's true it is trash by the way
Some pepper that some pepper though, it's like I elevated as well sure Montreal your your your mind is being open
Dipping your toe in the water there and that's that's when you're like if you grew up trash
Yeah, right and you want to escape you throw a little Montreal steak seasoning on on some
First time I had Montreal chicken. Yeah the first time I had it blew my fucking airbag
You think you're like fucking, you know, it's like, you know
It's like the way like if you if you like it's kind of like reading a New Yorker article when you live in fucking in like
You know in like sure trashy failure like wherever the fuck Baltimore
Mind-expanding it's doing mushrooms for the first time. Oh you motherfuckers know nothing about Montreal season
I feel like I feel like you're in turmerics. You're fucking around with gingers
See, you know some fresh ginger or something some fucking five spice. Did you say turmeric?
I think it's either one turmeric turmeric turmeric. No way. It's got to be turmeric t-bone. Help me out
It's not turmeric turmeric turmeric a lot of people say turmeric, which is wrong that that might be the most right one
No, that's we need it. We need a like an Indian guy. I need somebody
Truly, it's what we need, you know, what I'm saying is Montreal seasoning. That's the gateway then you're having different
It's right up the middle. Yes from the Orient. You get a little fresh oregano
I was always an oregano guy being Greek obviously the or you know, you're opening your mind up the different the different things show I
Will grow type stuff. It is yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I would say I'm definitely past the Montreal steak seasoning point in my life
Okay, you know what I mean? That's over for me, but I it was a beautiful time
It's like your college girlfriend. So I'm glad we didn't get married, but I wish
Montreal seasonings was the first person to suck my dick
The toe ring was hot, but yeah, I got to move on
I feel like what happened was is that our dad's or somebody went out to a restaurant day
It's back in the day. They had it and then it filtered into the home
See, I mean we got fed at one. I remember it was in the spring
My dad did some steaks on the grill. We're like, what the fuck is on this like Montreal steak
It was on every single
Barbecue sauce is what you're sure sure that was it was a barbecue sauce but barbecue sauce up into like
96 and then and this by the way all came on the scene the fact that we're having this discussion means we were all grew up poor
There wasn't a lot of money like I'm thinking about my roommate who like was a kid who like, you know grew up in the DC
Suburbs his dad was like a computer programmer
Like he was having fucking ramen. He was having real real real real real wrong. I didn't have real ramen until like
I'm still a little scared exactly exactly he like he under you know had that shit going so for him
He probably that was never the case, but yes dry rubs Montreal seasoning was the was the first
I mean again Greek people just like a little salt pepper oregano Montreal seasoning made me feel a little fucking, you know
A little clay a little elevated, right
But I don't I wouldn't tie it to a restaurant. I think it was just
McCormick and Schmidt. Yeah, that's just it was there. It was there. We still have it at my mom like you still
Yeah, my mom's still fairly still if they're firing up the grill the fucking month
We might as well be in Montreal is coming out. In fact, I'm getting a little I'm literally having a flashback of making steaks on the
Grill I put illegally on our balcony in Greek town love that
I had a summer of grilling charcoal. It was just it was a gas grill. Okay. This was a gas grill even more dangerous
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, this is what something that'll take out the whole block
Oh, yeah, and I got one in a story to completely against code
Now I have a gas place on my balcony. I what I'm gonna fucking I'm not gonna grill
I know summer the fuck summer. You got it out. You got it. You got a balcony
You got a girl. Is it a balcony where the other one is right above you? I'm on the I'm the highest
You can't be smoking out the neighbors in
Anything like I know nobody really says anything out there a story is all everybody does
Keeps their mouth shut the illegal balcony the illegal u-turn and the fucking double parking out there
Oh, it's out is absolutely insane. It's awesome. Everybody keeps their mouth shut and keeps it moving
They know that yeah, it's a it's a it's a it's an incredibly diverse neighborhood a lot of people from a lot of different places
Yeah, and everyone knows just to fucking keep it yourself. Yeah, and grilling unites all those
Everybody likes a nice
Eastern European Puerto Rican whatever the fuck it is, you know, everybody's everybody's growing
Did you celebrate Greek Easter recently?
You know actually this year my brother was married on Greek Easter. So it's nice. We had a double celebration
He got like he the meal was lamb chops to make it real Greek
You know, I was like, you know, I was pretty adamant that we got to have some fucking some lamb
Yeah, yeah, if he hadn't made I was like I think he's cheap to the wedding
No, dude, I literally was like I will hire a food truck to bring lamb
Pretty small it wasn't very big it would have been a flex, but I I surveyed the place. There would have been no place
There was no parking. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was like out somewhere in Maryland. It was like, yeah
It was like a it was a beautiful venue, but there was would not have been an opportunity for
Food truck truck full of lamb. We were gonna get to this eventually, but since you brought it up brothers wedding. Yes
Like this what was
Audible what was in the envelope? What was in the envelope?
Or what do you get a ton of money?
Yeah, oh, yeah, a ton. I don't want to put my little brother on blast. We don't do that
But I want there is I just want him to have the best wedding possible
So if it was like if there was something love this guy if there was something that they like didn't want us, you know
And he's young. He's like, you know, he wants you to write it down
Like it was a rich guy thing to do you don't talk about you write it
I bet we've had bigger on the show. You've definitely had bigger for sure
But I'm just trying to think like in terms of everything I paid for
The envelope was a thousand bucks, okay, but
But there was definitely believe there was some there was some paper-worthy
Numbers going going into going into the rest I mentioned the lamb truck, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I got one for you
He's right dad. I gave him a blender. Yeah
$48
Fucking that that is nice. That's okay for a couple things and look at my brother
The other thing is when my brother
Because again, we are trash. We count we don't we have no financial literacy whatsoever
He was like, dude, I got this awesome credit card
I looked at it cards aren't awesome. And yeah, and it was like first gear and no whatever and then it was like 88
I was a motherfucker if you don't pay this off. It is going to quadruple
And I just gave him the balance. I was like and now I'll just every holiday until
$10,000 worth. I'm just like that's he's just and that so I would like to be clear
I gave him whatever I gave him on top of the debt
What a good man, but yeah, it's like he was like yeah, like
Truly no one in my family understands fucking sure the understands money what including myself like I don't know
What the fuck we just had a we did on patreon. We have my buddies a financial advisor. He came in
Our minds we are
No, dude a financial advisor would fucking slap me in the face do 50% or like put 50% away
I'm like 50%
That's why I want to just buy a house because I have that dumb
That dumb village or brain where it's like I don't want to learn what stocks are no
I don't want to do any of this shit. I want to buy a house
So I'll just put all my money into that and I want to fucking maybe make a sick kitchen like you know
I've got those yeah, I've got those dreams of just a giant stainless steel fucking vikings everywhere
The whole fucking so you're not doing the Bitcoin the NFTs on that all that is bullshit
Okay, you're a fucking dumb bitch if you have any
And I want to be very clear about you hear that ma
I mean, that's just another like America is so fucked that they just have to create new pyramid schemes to get people
I was like you're gonna do a garbage NFT. I'm like we're comedians. I'm not learning NFTs. Also. No, they're fucking stupid
They don't you don't own it's just like ownership. You could argue that no one really owns land, right?
Like I'll hear that where it's like you can't really we shouldn't have private property
I'll listen to that so now you want to tell me that the idea of a picture of a floating somewhere
And then it's so funny because it's like I think the money to be made has been made maybe yeah some of the like
Technology will probably stay around and stuff like that. Maybe some of the blockchain shit
Well, which I still don't understand but like NFTs. It's oh, it's truly. Oh, well, somebody so didn't feel so someone stole
Hey guys give it back
What are they taking the only they hacked these hackers and wasn't he in the movie hackers exactly that's pretty fucking
Who Seth Green? No, not in hackers. Okay, so he went to get the picture. He won't cut that he went to get the picture
Make me look cool
It was literally looking at hackers t-shirts to buy today
So he went to get the picture and the picture was gone see this exact the fact that you
Is a is an indictment of how stupid this yeah, yeah, I think it's a nerd shit. It stinks. So no, I want a house
That's it. Yeah. Yeah, I agree. Maybe you do on your I don't like that commie talk
Wow
Funger start making a grand on patreon all of a sudden all of a sudden it's fucking pull yourself up by your bootstraps
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I do the other one that would doubt the big one was the Domino's first pizza hut. Yeah, we did that
We did that a while ago on the patreon and
your
What are your thoughts well because we were device so this is where I see it give me the let me
I want to weigh in on where the fellas are here
And I think I was able to turn him. Okay, right? I'm
saying
Domino's as a whole is better
Because I think Pizza Hut had glory days sure in the 90s. They are nowhere near that anymore
So we're trying we're discussing peak
Peak of the powers. I don't think there's any discussion. No, no, no, no, pizza hut had a buffet the fucking big red
Dining experience everything
Talk about your first clips of being an elevator. Yes. Yes. When you walked in there very much the Montreal seasoning of pizza
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you walk in there on a Friday night. Oh my god family. Absolutely. Of course space invaders
Why the pies cooking? Okay, I don't peek for it. It's
Undebatable, okay, I like okay, but we can start there start there
We have some common ground if you're on the road you're in fucking, you know
Missouri, yeah, everything's closed. The only thing open is Pizza Hut and Domino's water. I'm still going Pizza Hut
Really? I really am. The problem is you still can't find Pizza Hut. That's a problem with the company
If the argument hinges on accessibility it hinges on, you know
The I mean true just accessibility and I also think Pizza Hut has a little issue here because we are always going to measure it
By the greatness of its past. Sure where Domino's is a little Johnny come lately, right? It's like the Roman Empire
Yeah, it's like it's a yeah, exactly if you think if you're comparing like Italy now look fucking nice
They're doing all right, you know, yeah, now do they have do they have they conquered half the world?
No, it's a little island of some fucking greasy sexual harassers
You're not going to watch the lions fight
There's some nice there's some fucking nice beaches the food is good and then Domino's is I don't even know
What's the country equivalent of some shitty? You know, it's not shitty. It's pretty good. It's fine. It's fine
And that's the thing they when you get one that game a little I've been the dominant
Don't talk to me like I haven't had Domino's recently
I've had it but when you get one with where it comes out right and it's hot and it's fresh and it's quick
You order online out to talk to anybody. It's fine again fine
But I still I still say that the highest even today the high of a high pizza hut is
Is better?
We still have pan pizzas right you have a crispier little oilier crunchier little fucking, you know
Love's gone man. They're dominoes doesn't pan pizza pretty well
I have I just have their their standard the standard but they do the nice crust with the parmesan butter or whatever
And here's the thing about that crust it is an improvement
Fundamentally, it's the same crust
Fundamentally, it's still the same chew the same mouth feel right. It's all the same shit
Whereas I I contend that pizza hut does have better crust and if you're if your argument is look
Dominoes is like, you know pizza hut is the fuck, you know, the girl you were
Yes, the best, you know, she would suck your dick you're you would go cross-eyed like you're in the three stooges
She was the girl you dated with rich parents exact rich parents, but also but also she had empathy. She wasn't like them
She had empathy, you know what I mean? She wasn't like republican foley over here
Didn't want to hear any commie talk. She was given 20s to homeless people. You know what I mean?
She was buying new stuff didn't want you to feel bad hot smoking hot, but
She would disappear for a month. You know what I mean? She would leave you hot and cold
And it's like if now I think I'm the kind of guy
I'd rather chase that love affair than a seven and a half that's always there for you
And that's what dominoes is, you know, you can't get it. We can't get it here
Right, you can't get a dominoes in the store or uh, you can't get a pizza hut in the store. You're correct
Pizza hut. I don't even know where they do. There's nowhere to be found. They're not even there
When's the last time you had pizza hut? Let's start there. That's an interesting question
But to be fair, I don't have dominoes that much either. I I have I have
In the last 365 days
I don't know actually truly. I don't know maybe not is the answer because I when I get pizza
I get like I have my spots in a story of their local chains. It's more of like we I mean we travel a lot, obviously
I like uh, I mean my
Well, there's that one brave. I haven't done beluches yet. Just opened. Um, I like crave. They got good wings, too
Uh, for just dude the quickest a pizza has ever gotten to me
Is uh retro, you know retro on broadway
I swear to that's on my block. Yeah, I swear to god
The quickest to be it I have put it's not even a phone call. I put it on seamless
It has come to my house nine minutes late. I love that and it's it's fully like seven minutes away
Like I don't understand. They're fucking preheating these motherfuckers. I truly like it's gotten there so fast where I'm like
Like I didn't even I thought it was my friend or something. I had no idea
Like I was shitting. I just hit the door and the guys bang. I'm like, what the fuck house is here ready already like full
They beat their seamless like, uh, uh
estimation by 20 minutes
So and it's not the highest quality pizza, but it gets the job done right it's better than dominoes
You know short. Well, it's new york. It's new york dominoes. You're not you're not getting dominoes in new york
We're obviously on the road a lot. You get done the shows late. You're in a smaller town
A lot of times only game in town is dominoes now. Look, I'll be honest here
I have not been to a pizza hut in a while. It's very possible that I'm still living in these
I think you're living in the glory days, man. And I would love I want now. I now I feel like I have to go to a pizza
I feel like I need it. I should have prepared
I hope you're in fucking Omaha sometimes. There's none. There's no like sit down about pizza hut anymore
That's another thing they cut all those out. Okay, and that's an issue but it's the wing street
It's that in the wing get the fuck you're right here with the wing. Oh, but that's an issue
I hate that hybrid shit. That's an issue across
Uh fast food pizza places corporation. Yeah corporations. They have tried to make these fucking
thing bake the wings happen
And that's a spit in the consumer's face
A wing needs to be fried. Put a fucking fryer in there or suck my dick. Three minutes. Yeah, what are we doing here?
It's out of control dominoes wings are you know, the wing is a wash. They're all dogs. Yeah, I'm not judging it on the fucking pasta bowls and it is
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Now cheesy crust
You know what you know what I'll say the cheese you know where they have pizza huts
That is actually a really reliable thing is on the fucking 95 rest stops. Oh, yeah
That's probably I don't mind that I don't mind that that's honestly probably my last that's what you're you're down till fucking
Truckers are getting blown. That's where you gotta get your pain. Yeah. I there's some about their free head and I just pay for a pizza
I'm fucking commute. I'm on the jersey turn, but I'm paying 80 dollars in tolls to have a personal pain pizza
But I will say that is their strength. I'll give them that that pan that chewiness. That's that's there
Yeah, how about like baseball games and chit so like and to me it's just you know
But again, I'm more of a romantic like I said, I like this. I'm a home run hitter
Not a great but not a great batting average, right? I like it. I don't want I respect I respect you guys can dink and dunk
Getting your little singles with your with your fucking dominoes. I'm fucking
I I miss a lot, but man when it connects does it connect nice and that'll never goes
That will never happen at dominoes as I promise you that I'll give you that as a child. There was something
The buttery-ness
The texture the oily the little bit of the garlic that was kind of on the crust. Yep
Man, it was just
Absolutely, and I will even say their big gimmick
Stuff stuff crush not even one of their not their best pizza. No
Yeah, of course. I even loved their thin crust back in the day. It's fucking all right. That's salad bar. God damn
Yeah, like a fucking gentle. I there was one in Dundalk, Maryland
I wonder if it's still open and if it is I'm gonna go the next time. I'm in baltimore. I'm gonna go back
I bought that in a blockbuster. I think I'm gonna be all right
The one in my hometown
I'm a little sour the one in my hometown
Minds of dry cleaners. Yeah. Yeah mine turned into a bank
It's tough to see those but a kid was shitting in the
Shit in the tomato sauce or something and then serving it and he got arrested for like endangering
senior citizens or something because it got delivered to a
Retire that's hysterical. Yeah, it was like 13 or whatever. Wow walked out. What did he ever did he ever
Speak to his motivations behind shitting probably just he was just a teenager trying to be cool or whatever pretty sure
He's dead now for sure
They're sitting in some putting your ass on a big can of pasta sauce. He shot himself as they closed in on him
Yeah
All right, favorite flavor of Gatorade
Interesting
It's I would say it's between the classic yellow and the classic blue great
And the frost I'd have to I think push comes to shove gun to my head. I'm going frost
Okay, and having said that I like to fuck around. I like to you like the white one the white one's all right
It's big now. That's a lot of people favorite now. You know when I'm you know when I'm kids on tiktok
You know what? I'm dipped my little nuts in too recently. I was
I've I've the pasta sauce at yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was between. Yeah, that guy was shitting between my legs
I
tried body armor
Peach like mango and I'll say this I've tried the not the diet and the full the diet's better
Okay, so I'm a big but I don't I can't that's not energy drink though, right? It's a gator. It's a gator competitor
They got like hardened. They have a couple of baseball players. I don't fucking know
They've they've tried to like really get into the the space. That's exactly the market share
Don't they drink that a bar stool? Don't they have that body armor? Yeah, they might yeah, they might yeah
So I will say that flavor and I can't I just discovered like I had it for the first time
I was in DC to like last weekend or two weekends ago and there was a hilariously there was a standalone wawa
In the middle of downtown DC like that across the street from my hotel. It was nice. I was no gas station
No gas station old school and I got to say it was fucking sick
Like a general because it was like yeah, it was like across the street from my hotel
I you know, there's like little there's like little benches around there me and my fucking buddy
Eldest shout out to eldest who was with me
We were just getting wawa and we were fucking getting high smoking a joint drinking some body armor
And whatever a night for a game. That's never
Yeah, I was using more as recovery
Let me get a pedialyte and the meatballs up
Yeah, two hours of stand-up comedy and then the damage I was doing with what I ordered uh at wawa
But there's something about that peach mango. Okay. I have to do I like I have to get in the lab
It's very reminiscent of a specific flavor
From childhood that I can't put my fucking. I completely agree with you. We were just talking about these ice things
They're called ice they're called spark sparkling ice. They're tall skinny models. It's zero calories and there's their flavor
It's a sparkling water type thing. They have an orange mango same thing. I'm like, I don't know
I have one yesterday. I go. I don't know what it is
It's a little sunny deish
It's a little sum and it must be it must be some kind of chemical exactly that was in a maybe a capri sun
Maybe a cooler or something like that, but not quite not as tart. Yes as the ecto cooler. It's a little lighter
Yes, yeah, yeah peach mango
I'm on the case
I love that. Yeah, I'm about to go get some right now
Were you guys so be people back in when you just kids? No, that was that was fucking lala palooza
I was new age shit to me get out of here with that belly button ring. I hate I hate to agree with them
Yeah
Jennifer aniston can kick rocks
I tried to get into sobie every once in a while and it just I would do it, but as a poser
Yeah, it wasn't in my heart. It wasn't in my heart. Yeah, I would get them just to be cool just to just to pretend
I'm not these guys, you know
But ultimately something was off. I will admit it never it never clicked. I love how you're trying to distance yourself
I've always been crazy. I've always
We just debated dominoes were a hot seriously for 20 minutes. I'm not like these lose. No, exactly
That's always been that's always been how I've seen myself. I'm like, I'm better than everyone I grew up with
Like we had a very similar, you know shitty. Uh, yeah middle class, you know, uh, what's the fucking what?
I'm sorry. This is third banks suburban working class scumbags. No. No. No. No. This is republicans regional region
Oh, northeast like northeast mid-atlantic
All right, my third podcast of the day. Yeah, what about uh fruitopia would you we guys around same thing?
That was that was a hope he was all right. We couldn't touch it remind me Henry. It was very
It was very soby. Yeah, I don't remember a fruit, but they were good and here's one that your pride said deep deep deep
I'm ready clearly canadian. You know what I'm talking about. They were in like perrier bottles
They looked like sparkling water, but they were actually flavor. They had flavor. They had sugar in them. They were there. Yeah
They would not do the raspberry one of those but knock your socks off. I was a big
I was a big, um
Arizona iced tea. Of course. Of course. That was my go to of course. We were we were snapples definitely had a moment
Yeah, snap on a moment. Snapple was the fucking king the bottle
I still wasn't a huge snapple guy. I mean my dad was big on snapple from like price club and fucking sam's club and that kind of
Shit, we were a lot of iced tea though growing up
Wawa iced tea was that was in the fridge to have gal and yeah
Yeah, we were
Truly the drinks were even shittier than what we're talking about. Remember that shit tampico
That fucking like by the gallon like I don't truly like radioactive. I don't know that
This is from you. No, that's why the laundry detergent. No, no exactly. It is. That was nowhere near a cooler. No, that was
Exactly. Oh, that's done. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. That's like fake orange. I listen. What can I say?
You're trying to get all fucking up and he next to me. Here's the difference. I grew up with less money more class
This is poverty. You know what I mean? Sure. This is my mother.
Fabuloso
I went to the theater you piece of shit, you know
My mom took us to museums. Yeah, your mom was getting you that. Yeah, that that is literally that was he was trying to have play
up
She was like I honestly did not understand how poor we were
And it was like looking at this. I'm like that went in my body. It was dude. It was my fave me and my brothers
We're like tampico tampico. You were fucking addicted to the sugar. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah
I think my mom tried to wean us off and we would we were like fucking getting a shake
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but yes, that is that is definitely like a
Truly that's crazy. I need to make $20 stretch
Drink, you know what I mean? And it was like we had and we did for a while
We did fucking uh juice from concentrate until we got too snooty for that like frozen. Oh, that's all that was orange juice
Yeah
Eat it like a popsicle
Dude the powder mom would freak out then she would have to make
The fucking then she'd have to make it with half of it. My brother's like what the fuck sucks
Thank your brother. He ate it all
Fucking screaming at me
Yeah, yeah, yeah, no yikes yikes
Kepp let's talk about titan titan titan titan in this day and age if you need if you don't know how to do something
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I'm picking lottery numbers anymore. Yes, but we've been getting we've been given access to the marketplace of stocks
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Now back to the show back to the show any clocks in your house that are wrong
Right now. What's the other way? That's a good question my oven may be wrong. I haven't I haven't checked
Okay, I've been literally I did just spring forward to not too long ago. I got my car's wrong. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah car was a big one
I haven't been to my car since that so probably but yeah oven
could be wrong but see my roommate is uh,
one of my best friends he's like my best friend from college and
uh, we kind of live like a like a gay couple was like two incomes, you know, like and he uh, he is kind of he's like a little
like
Anal about things like that. So he probably he probably takes care of it. Probably checked it, but he's also been gone. So
I'll text you. I'll go home. I'll text you like does he keep the house tight?
He does he's he's the reason like like I'm the problem in the house for sure. Like I could have picked up. Yeah
If I show it like I if he he's like in portland right now if he cut his trip early if he showed up today
I would be mortified dude. It's my luggage is just on the couch. Like I got back
Monday I got back Monday. It's what is today Thursday?
Yeah, I haven't like my just luggage is kind of zipped out because I had no
I I did laundry before I left. So I was like, oh instead of putting my clothes back. I've just been taking
I'm in my own home living out of a suitcase. I haven't unpacked since chicago. Yeah
I have just a bat like a gar a hefty bag like a garbage industrial bag of
Every night seamless order that just goes right in there
Put it in there
That's just like, you know
kebab sushi whatever the fuck whatever I know you're a piece of shit when you're opening that bag and you intend to keep it
Like you don't rip it. Yeah
Later to make the clean up easier because you know you're a piece of shit. Yeah, and I just don't clean up till the next day
Oh, yeah, it's like, you know, I just like get
I just eat that. That's my fucking heroin and I just eat way too much and then I pass the fuck
I take a couple melatonin so I'm trying to get off the weed right now
And I just pass the fuck out wake up the next day groggy as a bitch and just like all this dried like sauce
Oh, yeah, I'm like chip it off the table and shit like that. So we sauce everywhere. It's brutal. No, my apartment sucks right now
How's the uh, how's the credit score these days? Very good credit actually very good always had I always did have pretty good credit
Yeah, yeah, yeah, because I uh, I didn't have
Any student debt. Okay, and my father was so in debt that it scared me
Sure, so I just never had any until
Until I bought that house in greek town. Uh-huh. I and I guess my car loan
Okay, I had no those were the only two things that was the only time I was ever in debt
So you own your car own my car. What are you rolling around in?
2012 corolla, okay, you know, you still make a payment on it. No, no
The fuck that's the whole reason I you think I
Two years left on this bad boy
Yeah, my monthly payment's eight dollars
I'll be passing it off to my son
He can uh, what what kind of air freshener are you kicking around with in that corolla? No freshener. Just raw dog
Stop me, baby. What's that car like? Is it a tough scene in bed in there?
You know, it's not how many water bottles on the ground solely because I've basically stopped driving
I've been on the road so much. Well, I see this in my cars my car. I parked under a tree for three weeks
It looks like I just pulled it out of a swamp
It looks like it was underwater. I'm actually thinking about giving it to my mom because I just don't drive at all
So I think I think that's going to be for little v dude. She's getting that one
How do you handle the tickets you get to do you on the street? Do you have it in garage?
Oh, I have a garage even in garage. Yeah. Yeah. It's pretty classy. Yeah. You have a favorite frozen pizza
Uh, I'm a freshener, man
Yeah, freshener is better
That's all right. I think that's square. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's not. I just chopped up a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. Shedda
That was that there was a moment in my life in our lives where I was like
Where we upgraded to freshener because that my mom did it. I think I think um
Sam's club or Costco, whichever one started carrying those
And that was a big moment. I was like, whoa, we're doing all right. Oh, you want you eat the giorno
Dude, the giorno way we were a tombstone house
And we had the giorno, you like the giorno, right for shut over the giorno all day sure, but that's all fries and crust and nothing
Yeah, yeah, that's a nice glass of milk
We got you can't don't bring the milk up again. All right, you fucking piece of trash
That sucks. It's the worst makes me so fucking mad and what makes it worse is that there's like a sizable part of the population
He agrees with him 50 50, dude. It's just spit. I got a base, baby. I got a base
These people are walking around and we don't know it. You know, like horrible. There might be people. I love
You know, it creates a consistency in your mouth where it feels like you're eating caulk or something. It's not good
stinks, dude
It really is horrendous. I love you peeing in the shower. I assume right, of course brush your teeth in there
I do not really I have a you know
expensive toothbrush
Here's here's trash. Is it electric? It's electric, but I started brushing my teeth every day when I turned 30
If you want to talk about trash, that was one of those like that was a wake up call overworked mothers
Just like, you know, there's one thing you just didn't do it. Sure. She's like, uh brush your teeth
They're just so tired that she just never and it was literally I wasn't even losing my tooth
That did it for for whatever reason it was just like
One day I woke up. I was like, I should brush my did you lose your tooth because of decay? No, it was like it was something random
That's the thing. It's like it wasn't that it was just like, you know
So it was like an old injury apparently that just gets worse over time
Right and you don't like it should have
It's I don't even know what it was
But it just kind of started getting weaker and then the final straw was cracking it on a chicken wing
But not brushing my teeth had nothing to do with that. I think are you flossing?
I've got flossers
Do you know the brand check out glide? I think it's by like I think I'm glad the green ones. Yeah
They're orgasmic when they go in they go in real fucking smooth
What about uh in the in the bedroom there? Do you sleep at your socks on?
No, what are you sleeping? It's crazy. I'm a boxers guy. Just boxers. No, sometimes I'll go fully nude
Sometimes fresh out the shower clean sheets. I'm rubbing my little my little fresh nuts all over there. Are those sheets clean?
I I
Most I'll go two weeks without how do you do the laundry to drop it off a drop off. Yeah
I'm stunted in prep two weeks two weeks tops. Good for you. Sometimes I'll switch them out. I would go
18 months if I didn't have a wife
Yeah, I don't think I would ever it's bad. Here's here's class. Here's here's new money class
The reason it's two weeks is because we get a fucking cleaning and she does them every two weeks. She does them
Yeah, yeah, I I will if I want to I'll do them, you know once if there's been a particular
If there's been a couple incidents, yeah, yeah, yeah, we've got a couple squirters over
You know, it's like maybe one day. I'll enjoy a little hint of pussy sheets
But like after that you got to change a couple of squirt
Wait, hold on the cleaning lady's doing the laundry. What do you have a washer and dryer in the building?
I no, no, I set out the clean sheets and she'll change she changes them. That's
Wow
That's like rich guy shit. Yeah. That's what I picture like
It's awesome. Yeah, exactly. So does every pillow in your bedroom have a pillowcase on it. It does. Wow. I am stunned by that
I pictured you on a single mattress no sheets on the floor. Yeah, that's me seven years ago
You know six years ago for sure. Is your bed in the corner of the room? You have two two egresses. Yeah
Absolutely, okay, cool fucking couple floating shelves on either side tv in the room tv in the room
But I got a it's a tv called the frame. I got that. There we go. Yeah, which which color frame did you go with?
We just still have the we didn't actually put the frame see that's you know, I see I don't yeah frame is nice
Because no one know it really is I thought it came with it and then it came and then we were being my wife
We're looking I'm like, I'm not sure and then it looks
From what I've seen it. I haven't seen it in person, but you're you're you're selling me on it
I'm telling you in person it makes a huge difference where people are like
They're they it doesn't look like a tv with the frame on they're just like what is it
They'll be like is it some kind of like art like what the fuck is it and then you turn the tv on it's like kind of sick
You know, that's how you get the girl squirt totally. Yeah. Yeah, I like it. It's the lg frame. See that painting over the air
What's the news? Well, it is funny because they pitch it as like hey you can no, I've never put a screensaver up
We have one that pops like I press a button. I don't know why I'll randomly press a button
Turning it late over. Yeah, I just I keep it off and it just looks kind of nice
So with the frame on
So yeah tv though, you gotta have as far as wings go
Now we're finally getting into it the drumstick or the flat
You know, I was a drumstick guy and I've become a flat guy
Are you doing the the new thing that the kids are doing with the flats now or you crush it down?
I I just I have always done that but in my own mouth
I have always just
You know, I've learned the ways, you know, the way hot girls would tie a cherry stem
The fat guy equivalent is putting a drumette in your mouth. It's like how tom and jerry used to eat fish
Exactly, exactly
You see what fish at least. Yeah, the whole the whole boat that just bones come out
All right. Yeah, all right. I am a drum. You know, I am a flat guy
I'll have them both obviously come on. What are we talking about here?
First honest thing the man said
Guy's not north korean. What are we doing here?
What's going on and I have to shout out the american comedy. If you guys have done san diego that we did la joya
Dove la joya. Well, they had insanely good wings. I will say and yeah, I'm a wing connoisseur
The seller has probably the best wings I've had in new york really good wings. They're so good
It's wild, but there was something about the fucking american comedy company. The fry was just right
Just the right kind of crunch and love a nice crunch. Yeah, soggy wings people can fuck wings up
So easily most people do I would argue people do. Yeah, I think you're right ranch or blue cheese the wings
I will say so ranch a high quality ranch is my favorite
But the problem is those are hard to come by hard to come by
That's one of the secrets of the seller
They're they're right. You're telling whatever that is, right? Well, I'm saying blue cheese is the dominoes of sauces
Where it's like consistent across the board. You know what you're getting ranch is kind of pizza and I will say
In this instance, I go, you know, I hold out for the ranch, but I'll happily settle for the blue cheese
Okay, and if I if I'm real and look we got we got sauce money. I'll get them both
You know, this isn't
Bring it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm getting appetizers. I'm getting sauces, baby. What do you dip your chicken tenders in?
I'll get real buck wild with that whatever they got. I'm making sauce
I mean, I'd like to have a honey mustard just as the you know emergency qb like it's just there
I know it's there, but
If you got an interesting sauce, I'll dip my tender
Let me fuck around and see what you got
That's the fucking kind of guy I am
I got a number of time and money to burn, baby
Give me a habanero mayo. I'll put my shit in there. Give me a some kind of cilantro base fucking
Chimichurri, I'll fucking put that in there. He said that like he was splitting the ad
How did my tender dude? I don't know what you're running for, but I'm
All right, I'm team stave
This kid's all right. He's got a strong backbone. I like the I like the cut of his jib
Tell you that right now
I got one, uh, because the baltimore
Uh, Philly accent are very similar yours is like a little slower, uh, you know a little more drawl on it
How do you pronounce the product created by crayola?
Oh, oh crayon
You say crayon. Well, I don't know you just you just
Here's the thing. I don't have I don't I can do the accent
Yeah, I don't you know my influences were greek people, right?
So I talk I don't really have like a baltimore accent
But it's like if I was doing the the baltimore guy, it would be like
I let let me think about that. Crank. Yeah, he would it would be like
What do you guys say crown probably I say crown he says I said crayon crane crane crane
That's not right. There's like six people that say crayola crayon. I say
Yes, when you threw you threw crayola on there. You hear how bad it is
Yeah, the the the the fucking juxtaposition of crayola and it's crayola crayon. It's a crayon. Yeah, crayon
I don't know that sounds like an alien over crayons. No, it's not crayon. I say crown, which is wrong
But if you say crayon, I say crayon. That's yeah, that's good. The the baltimore accent is only like
He comes in every once in a while, but you know, I'm mostly immune most of the people that I was taught that
I was talking to like greek town is a very like insular
Little community. Can you speak greek today? Have I seen this? You can? Yeah. Yeah, I'm fluent. Can you write it?
I can I my spelling is not great in greek and I can read it
But I read it like a fucking dumbass like I probably read like a like a stupid sixth grader. Okay
A foley but I can read I can talk. Um
I can speak. Yeah, I can speak it pretty good. Nice. That's pretty impressive. That's classy. Thanks, man
As anybody in your family anybody, you know at all ever
Ever claim that they saw UFO
Or bigfoot, you know, no nobody I'm trying to think I mean
My cousin has started getting my greek cousin actually started getting a little into like
It's funny how like like qanon. Shit is like filtering into the rest of the world
Because it's like it's not he doesn't care that much
But it's like this is a guy who was like very liberal very like left growing up. He's in greeze in greeze. Yeah
And then he just like went got very weirdly anti he became an anti-vaxxer weirdly
But there's never been like and he had he said something hilarious where he was like
He was like he was like kind of a trump guy, but doesn't really care obviously
But it was like, let me ask you this if trump is racist
Then how come martin luther king jr. Son voted for him and I was like, I don't think I don't think he did
Yeah, I don't I'm pretty sure he didn't he was like really. I was like, yeah, I don't think so. He's like, oh
He hadn't even like it thought about the standing up to any scrutiny. He thought I was gonna have to be like, well
Sure, that's a good point, but
Yeah, so no, I can't think of it would be him though. Probably
If anybody sees one in the future, it's most like yeah, he's a funny weird guy
And he's I love that. He is definitely a fuck. He's a fucking piece of trash for sure
His whole he spent I mean he kind of got fucked because he grew up in greece
He's the he's the direct generation that got fucked by the financial crisis in greece where it's like
Everyone his age just didn't have a job. So he spent his like 20s
Working yeah, like he would work, you know tourism was the one industry that was popping off in greece
So he would go to an island theoretically to work for the summer
But he would just like he didn't have a room. He would sleep in a tent
And he would just like fuck as many tourists as possible. I heard that's big in in in in greece
Totally to get a good night's sleep. Yeah, you had to get that nut off
Um, and he just spent his like and he was like, oh, yeah, I'm going there to work
And then one summer I went there and it like kind of coincided with
We were both going back. I was going back to athens the same time he was going back
And I was like, oh you taking like this, you know, oh, there's a perfect boat that gets us there really quickly
He was like, he was like, yeah, that one's like 40 euros more. I'm gonna have to take the overnight boat to save like literally 40 euros
He did not have the money to get to get a
Normal manner to get to get home. He was like a cargo hold. He had the it was like a mega. He got the megabus version
The mega boat the mega boat
He took the mega boat for sure
It's got luggage on a seat
But it would be him for sure and I'm you know, I'm interested to see like literally within
An hour of being in greece the last time I was there. He was showing me like videos of of like
The this couple fucking at a at a metallica concert
He was like he was just he rules. No, he's the best
But he's just like he was like an old metalhead and like he was like, dude
This is pretty sick and just some girl just getting railed out and and maybe it wasn't the metallica
It was just some metal show, but it was like some guys just fucking and like
Some fucking bitch is getting just destroyed and he's like pretty pretty cool. He's not horny. Yeah, it's nothing like
He just wanted me to see something. Yeah, awesome. Yeah
Just imagine a guy with two beers stand behind I'm like, that's my girlfriend
Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I like how you tried to class it up and say it was a metallica show. Yeah
Some greek cover band. He's he's seen a lot of metal show like he's he's awesome
He one time he went to see he loves ozzy osbourne loves black sabbath and he went to see ozzy osbourne in london
And ozzy threw his bucket of waters, right? Not a who gives it. It's like literally just a fucking bucket
He went to secure it like he went to just take it with him through security in london. They're like
Oh on an airplane. Yeah, yeah to go back to greece and they're like you can't camera metal
Weird metal bucket and wouldn't fit in his luggage
He didn't want to like fold it break it and he somehow
He was like i'm not he's like i'm taking the bucket and he got it and he somehow like the power of love for
A bucket ozzy osbourne. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah push push them through push them through
This was post 9 11. This was not, you know
It was 9 11. He rocks for sure in the 80s. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah
Um, all right, we gotta do a couple from patreon. Let's do it and then we gotta we gotta wrap her up. Let's fucking do it. Um
This one's from eddie. Have you ever been so high you put your turn signal on for a normal bend in the road?
Like you've been so you you're just I like that 100. Yeah, I feel like I have I will say eddie
I was I was so high on my flight back from san diego that i'm still not sure where my laptop is
This was four days ago
And I remember in the fucking seat. I remember putting it in my backpack
I have a memory of putting in my backpack and I was I took so many edibles
I was high the whole day and I pretty sure I used it
In my apartment and then I went back to the place
I have a memory of it being
And it's just not there because I was just on like I mean yeah on mars probably like 120 milligrams
Jesus Jesus
I had a rough weekend I needed to sleep it off and
So I truly just don't know
Like I'm gonna go check my that's part of the reason I need to clean my apartment not just because of fear of my roommate
But like do I have to call delta? I mean it's been days. It's probably yeah, it's probably just gone now who gives us
No, they probably tend to keep them. I think okay, maybe
But yes, I'm pretty sure I've done that but no
To answer our man eddie's question here. I know nothing in particular comes to mind
Okay, and speaking of flying. Do you fly business or first class or yeah, or what are you doing?
You only fly delta
I only fly delta and it just depends, you know like price wise. I yeah, I let my nuts hang a little bit in san diego
This was a first-class flight back
love that
And if I'm go if I'm doing something for work where I have to be there then sometimes I'm like, well
You're gonna treat yourself a little bit. I'll do yeah, especially if it's like a tight turnaround
And I have I just want to sleep literally like I'll do that. But you know, I try not to I still have that
I'm going to be poor of course so like wherever I can I just like get a fucking like I'll go exit
My big move is exit row regular, you know, okay, because it's like they're pretty roomy
Sure, where are you at? You an aisle or window guy? I'll all yeah
Exit row exit row. Can I ask you this bit of a personal question? Please are you a seatbelt extender guy or no?
You know, that's it's really unfortunately. It is a case-by-case basis now
And I used to be a full no, okay, and that was one of the first full. Yes. I I guessed I was gonna get it
I was leaning yes
It's tough. That's a tough one. The reason I ask is I got removed
From the exit row because you're not physically capable. They don't think you're physically
Phobia
That's all racist. Yeah. Yeah. I got removed from the exit row. That's a tough one with my girlfriend
The girl involved they wouldn't let her stay but they were she's like, oh, honey
They go they go
We sit in the exit row and then the lady walks by. I'm like, hey, can I grab a seatbelt extender?
They get the seatbelt extender they come back and she's like
Unfortunately, I can't have you sit here. You're too fast for this anybody switch seats with this gentleman
We got a fat ass in 14c
Volunteer
They were jacked too. I'm fully fully
Boy scouts. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My girlfriend's like, I'm gonna stay here. I'm gonna take the middle seat
Fine, but I'm eating your cheese. It's dead
bitch
A basket a basketball team got on one of our flights and sat next to me on the aisle and fully was on the window
And I saw him talking shit about bully in his group text
You didn't tell me that
Piece of shit. Oh, that's fucking hilarious. No, that's a real tough one. And that's why it's like that's also why like
I had to fly southwest recently and that's brutal because it's like
I need to be above this like I'm I'm on a plane. I don't need that bus energy of someone
I refuse to fly spirit. We just I'm like, I well, it's always clearly the cheapest, but I'm like, I just can't do that
You can't do that. You said you're an eye. I'll lose money. You're I'll I'll yeah
I need to know where my seat is because I hate that as a fat man
I know you know this where people just like are scanning and just
Frantically trying to do the math and when they've done it and they're like they cannot avoid sitting next to you. They're just like
I do a whole bit about it. Yeah, they're fucking staring at it. You get it. You get it pieces of shit
Judgmental mother fuckers, but it's typically I got a thyroid condition. We typically put Toby next to him to give him a buffer
So like he loves that
Treat him like a body pillow
So well, but then if there is an open seat available toby then moves, you know what I mean?
Like if there is of course, of course, of course, we try to protect a big man at all cost
You would think that is very fragile fucking ego
If anybody from the airline industry is out there get rid of that bar at the bars. Yeah, that one doesn't go up
If that went up, you'd you change me. I'm rest. Yes
I'm the one on the aisle goes up and then once we take off I pop that over and I'm fucking
Chill total fucking cocktail I turned around I got up to go to the bathroom like when they took to when they you know
We were allowed to move and I turn around and he's behind dude. He was in like the whole
It was like that's my favorite
That's the one your knee gets just fucking brutalized by the cart
You're like I feel like fat people the only ones when they come up with the snacks
She just hands me all three doesn't even ask never says
Yeah, and I'm like hands them to me get these nuts out of my face bitch and give me two chocolate kind bars
That's the states are all right
Many cliff bars ain't nothing. I wouldn't get them out of bed either
Pita butter mini cliffy. Those are great. Those are great
Keep the bizcoffs coming. I don't mind the bizcoffs. Those are diecokes. All right
Those are blowing up in here though. They get they get up in your uh, they get all up in my teeth
You've had the bizcoff butter
The cookie butter. No, I heard it's good though
You want to get in there you want to get in there? I don't give it a whirl. Yeah, that was for Foley
We were connecting. Are you gonna go see top gun 100%? Thank you
A thousand percent if you had to choose between an ice cream cone regular
Sugar pretzel waffle. Wow. What are you doing? What's stopping waffle? Okay. I like a nice waffle. Gentlemen. Yeah
I like that. I'll take that. I think I think yeah, that's like the Montreal seasoning. It's like you gotta you're elevated to a pretzel waffle
Sometimes you do just one guy's class softy. Of course. Oh mr. Softy. You get her you get a regular cone. Yeah, of course
You can't get a waffle at mr. Soft. We were talking about bad snacks when we were a kid. We were talking about croutons last week
I I remember just eat croutons 100. Yeah, I remember
Yeah, absolutely. I remember also just bacon bits. Oh, yeah
Nothing like being a little fat piece of shit being an eight and being at a all you can eat buffet with a salad bar
Coming back with one piece of lettuce
That is basically serving
Be acting as a second plate. Yeah, and just fucking it up with croutons, bacon bits and ranch
And just making a little like a pre-diabetic soup
It's more of a challenge. A little shredded cheddar on there. A nice little delivery. A gazpacho
But I should just eat uh ice cream cones by themselves
Oh
It's honestly rare that somebody can say something that even I'm like god
Like someone can out fat child me, you know, you got me. There's anybody that can do it. You got me there with just fucking
Yeah, let's do two more from the page on and we can wrap her up
Um, it's from matt have you ever had to go ask?
Have you ever had to ask a shoe store employee to borrow a sock to try on a shoe?
That's a bad one or ask for the shoe horn. Uh, not the shoe horn, but I have
Well, I've never asked, but they have those little fucking weird booties. Yeah. Yeah, I definitely feel like a ballet dancer
Yeah, yeah, yeah, feels like you're wearing a pantyhose. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah
Exactly we get the we get the uh, uh
Experiment with our gender identity in a safe space with this. Yes, exactly. Oh, but it's like trying on shoes of pay less
I'm a footlocker. Oh back again. Yeah, I just wanted to try some stuff. I love your blouse. Yeah
I remember one time I went my parents took me out to get new shoes and like I took my shoes off and there was just like
They were mostly holes. Yeah
Fucking peasy. We looked like
Proper that's like depression era like trailer. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That was the thing about being being like that when we were kids
there was always such an emphasis on
Not letting anybody know you're everybody knew it. Yeah, but certain things. Yes
Get dirty socks on. What's wrong with you?
Barry
Will you are you a water bottle guy like a roof like a reusable water bottle?
Will you use the refillable water bottle station at the airport? I will. Yeah, really?
Okay, I think that's pretty
But here's the thing if I don't I steal the water bottles
I've stolen a water bottle every time everybody seals on the airport all coming the airport
I mean the first of all the air yes, because it's like you spend so much your life in an airport that you're like
I need something back from you, you know, I understand and also they're begging you to steal waters
They're out there. The no one's around you fucking a lot of new ones. They don't even have like a checkout person
Like you check out you're just supposed to check out yourself. I'm like, what are you fucking?
This is disrespectful
And it also costs $7. I know if it costs two bucks. I would buy the water, but that's you know, so yeah
Hmm a hotel
What about them? Do you leave uh, you ever been to one?
You have that's cool
What do you leave for the cleaning lady?
10 bucks 20 bucks. Okay depends depends how much merch I usually don't if I have cash
I'll you know, yeah, I'll usually be 20 of merch money. Okay, you know good
You like the early check-in you do an early check-in guy if I you know when I try and time it so that there's no issues with
With the check-in, you know
But yeah, I'll try and get there as early as possible
You know if I can't if I can check in I'll check in as early as possible
But I like to I like to time it right around three so there's no no issue
If they with when they dare say it's not ready to check in time that's we've had that one truly despicable
You're just like walking around Rochester or something. Yeah, I gotta leave here. I leave my luggage here. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah tag
Yeah, I like to avoid that if possible 100% 10 bucks. That's pretty clay. See
He's yeah
Are you I yeah, you know, it depends. It depends. It also depends on
How how long I'm there, you know, I would say 10 is like if nothing
There's no like, yeah
Are you trash in that room?
The what was I last in San Diego? I think I was just like I left the 20
I mean, I usually leave 20 if it's a full weekend, but it's like a one nighter here. Whatever. I'll just do whatever
You're going through all those towels, right?
Huh, you're going through all the towels. Yeah. Yeah. You leave him in one little area
Or you just you put them together a little bit a little bit. Yeah, dirty. Yeah, yeah
Fucking gentleman. Oh
Yeah, their lives and the thing is like tipping I do like tipping a lot because it's just like
Who gives a fuck? I know it doesn't
My life is barely impacted and I'm like a good tip makes somebody's fucking day, you know, so it's like, you know
Wait, just but if I'm really if I really fuck a room up, I'll I might even drop 40
Yeah, just because you're like, I'm sorry. I'm like, I'm really sorry. You don't make eye contact when you're walking down the hallway
Sorry about that dump in the sink. Oh the smell the musk
Around some little windows. You can't open
It's bad jam them up
Ladies and gentlemen
Brand new debut special coming out June 5th on youtube. Make sure you check it out. He's one of the absolute best
Thanks, you're fucking killing it, buddy. Thank you for having me. Couldn't be more proud of you. Couldn't be more happy for you
Thank you same
Thank you for coming in stopping anything you want the folks out there to know other than the special
Yeah, just especially it'll be a live premiere eight o'clock eastern five o'clock pacific
I'll be in the little chat
Fucking around, you know, I'll have a couple friends. You guys are welcome to come. Thanks getting the chat. We'll fuck around
Um, but yeah, just follow the youtube, you know, that's I'm putting a lot of effort into the youtube channel
He's cooking it's not just the special
I also put two longer videos a week and every day a very short clip will be on youtube
And tiktok instagram or whatever you prefer, but yeah, that's the main shit go
That's what I'm I'm really I really want people to see this thing and you know, what's the name of your youtube channel?
It's just my name stavros alkis. Just just look me up on youtube and uh, yeah, that's it
Can't wait for the special to come out. Thank you boys for having me. Thank you, buddy
It feels like we did we I literally could do this for fine
We just argued over peace on he just asked me the stupidest questions i've ever heard in my life
I prefer this more than any like any interviews. This is the best in the world
I don't care how you started. Let's get what are you dipping your 10? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah?
So you started doing over. I don't give a fuck
All right, you're writing process. Huh? What about the five alive? What are you doing there?
Kibby, what do you got for him? Uh, just you know, check us out youtube patreon. Itunes. Check us out on the road
Yeah, we're gear enough for a fucking second leg. Uh, the second half of the we're adding like 20 cities or something
Come see us. They're a good fucking time. Yeah gang. We love you. We'll see you next week. Peace