Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Stepdad's Pool Party w/ Kippy & Foley

Episode Date: July 25, 2024

Are You Garbage is back with Kippy and Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. Its a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG Live Show Tickets: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Tushy: https://hellotushy.com/ Promo Code: Garbage Bespoke Post: https://www.bespokepost.com Promo Code: GARBAGE Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hang on a second there gang. You got a lot of chances to come see an RU Garbage live show. Talking about stand-up comedy, then we play a little RU Garbage with the crowd. It's a good time, great way to introduce new people to the show. So grab the squad and come out and see us. All tickets available at RUGarbage.com. We're going to be in Red Bank, New Jersey this August and we're going to Chicago, St. Louis, Tulsa, Oklahoma, Oklahoma City, Albuquerque, New Mexico, Flagstaff, Arizona, Las Vegas, Nevada, Los Angeles, California, and then Philly in

Pennsylvania, December 13th, all tickets available, are you garbage dot com. We'll see you there. Yeah Welcome to another exciting edition of are you garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is R U Garbage. You know it. It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that they're

good to be clean. See? They're just a big old piece of trash garbage. I'm your host. They truly coming at you on a sweltering day We're out back here at Tootie's in the new edition. She's upstairs in the tub doing a little cold plunge Okay, trying to ice down those those knobbers My co-host is coming at you from across the tables what we call a family episode Just the boys the bozos and homies Give it up for the king of the boardwalk the chicken parm hero

He's a downtown guy, but he's got uptown problems give it up for KJ Kevin James Ryan everybody Thanks for tuning in Rich's guy. No really yeah Don't tell the IRS that we did as he cools down what up gang Thanks for tuning in as always please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube as you know those numbers are. True to roach! Cooking, baby! Cooking.

And obviously, my favorite website of all time, patreon.com slash RUgarbage. You go over there, you get all your bonus content. And you're probably sitting out there going, it's not worth it. How much bonus content could be on? It's too your bonus content. He does that and you're probably sitting out there going it's not worth it How much bonus content could be on it's too much bonus content a lot It's a lot of bonus content also why I got you tell me go over to our you garbage.com pick up tickets to the Philly show Baby, we're gonna be a park casino December 13th It's gonna be a gosh darn party talk about on brand Maybe right there on the street road stop by Steve's and look out for the billboards going up on the turn Billboards going up on the fuck. I don't know that I've seen them for our friends that have played the venue

They got one on 95 which is whoo, baby all the loves that got away are gonna There's gonna be a lot of contractors driving down that road being like I just fired that guy That guy sold me a bad roof Gang how about a nice shout out to our producer extraordinaire that old magic man Makes us all look good works the ones the twos the threes and the fours he crosses the T's and he dots the I's it's T bone McScruffins Toby McMullen everybody what up boys? What's up? I'm doing great. I had a question for you buddies everybody what up boys I'm doing great I have a question for you buddies go ahead pal sign me in does anything die faster than the dreams of summer I thought I was gonna be back flipping into fish and swimming holes

palin around in rivers no sweating it out on the Q train like it's the 80s sucks I don't like doing nothing that's why you catch me down in wallwood, baby. I'm hanging the boards. I'm down there I'm a dude. I am I might move down there permanently. It's a good freaking good up. Take the ferry up take the boat Captain kip let's go pulling up to the stat now in the ferry dock Are you leaving This guy's been sitting there forever that always I was uh I never really I would drive a boat anytime I was on a boat. I would be like they were never driving They would let you when you were out there like none of like the fucking tactical shit sure just like hold it

You know why I let my stepdad lit a eater crack the beer You don't drive a boat you pilot a boat. Yeah, yeah. Is that true? You don't drive a boat. QI role for this. I get laid on boats, that's what I do. What? I don't know. Swingers cruise?

And all male swingers cruise? It's the only time he's around other whales. Holy shit, that one's on a boat. They're all getting jealous. Holy shit, that one's on a boat. They're all getting jealous. What, I was never good at the tactical docking, not docking, I like being first guy off the boat. As a kid.

There's no brakes on those things. As a kid, jumping off the boat as you were approaching the dock to get the rope or whatever, man, you couldn't tell me. Could you do that? Oh yeah, that was. Little barrel. That was all right.

You ever fall in? You look like a kid that would fall in. No, I never fell in. Stepdad's gotta pull you out of the drink. Popping up like I'm waking up on Inception. Just stand up, Kevin. It's low tide. You know what else is great summertime viewing?

The fights at the launch where they put the boats they put the boats in you ever see them the fights Yeah, because I've seen the guy not put the truck in park and that happened the f-150 gets see that happens every two days down I want no but so a lot of people who own a boat that don't necessarily have a place to dock it sure I just put it in for the day they go around cruise and then I've seen those things so at the end of the day or in The morning specifically whatever the tides are there's a line to get in mm-hmm and some guys aren't that good and cause a thing and they leave the end it causes man start screaming at everybody what the fuck you're doing just a bunch of drunk people you ever have your feet touch the

bottom of the bay oh yeah good at treading water with my knees up baby. I want my biggies touching the ground. Crisscross applesauce when I'm in the bay. That's my biggest fear. I had something to bounce off you guys. I don't know if you're aware of how bad things are getting out there or where we're going. You haven't left the house in four days. Well I've been watching the news.

Where we're going as a country I have a photo for t-bone to upload T-bone hit the satellites, let's go get the big man hardwired in I want to say I've never been a world traveler Okay up until recently the first time I left the country was 2021. On paper, on paper. Sure. I said some mule and used to be a coyote. I'm no stranger to a cargo container. You know what I mean?

Went to France, as you know, went to Paris, loved it. Food, all nine yards. Fantastic. What the Greece a year later enjoyed that. Been to Canada a couple of times. Shout out to Vancouver. I like it over there. I like their style over there do everything a little differently over there, but I over where Vancouver France You're Europa over and over in Europe. Can I say this? What can I do for you? You really miss an opportunity for a career in four words for books four words for books Nobody does a preface like you. Yeah, thank you. I got a picture and it starts in 2021 in France.

Me a couple of minutes here. I liked their style. I was a young kid, right? 1976. No one ever paid me no mind, but that's how it was back then. That's what made me the man I am today. Let me take you back to hands across America. I like it. So you're trying to put a belt on I

Hey, you don't keep these bad. I just found that picture. I was at hands across America. What yeah, I told you that you're You know you you weren't born yet. I don't think this is rubbing that in my face That don't make it cool It was the one breaking the chain was the guy sitting an exophobe going god your hands are sweating Yeah, Jesus, dude. Where are you from? Get her get a tissue. Will you I think I remember making these jokes now Yeah, all right. All right. I remember my god. It's gonna get hot in here I'm sliding off this shit you ever get your hand where it sticks and it gets like a burn on it sure Anyway, I like European stuff in Europe and I like American stuff in America.

You don't like crisscrossing. I don't like the crisscrossing. But the cross pollination. Well, we're folding because Toby, pull up the picture. It's globalization. This is what we're doing with with soda cans. Get rid of that shit. What's that?

That's a European cut. That's what that is. That's an uncircumcised Dr. Pepper can. That's what that is. What's the?ircumcised Dr. Pepper can What's a long John like the periades come in like a pounder? No, it's not a pounder They're called tumblers. It's thin Like a Red Bull can that's the only saw those have been out for a minute though Is that the only that looks big to me though now? It's just a photo Can I can I say something here what I might be Sherlock Holmes in a little too hard to my desk

What are you working a coal center? That's crazy the top. I've been picking up some side work I do that's it. I don't think I want to talk to you guys about solar energy Yeah, sure, I don't think this is a can yes. It is man. It's a cup look Where did you get that picture? I think it's a cup. Look at this. Who took that picture? Where did you get that picture? I pulled it off the internet. Look at this. Is that what you've been doing these past couple of days?

I've been scouring. This top right corner looks like the lip of a top of a, and it doesn't have a can kind of texture to it. Hey, I'm with you. I'm telling you. Dude, that thing's bigger than the phone. That's a huge Dr. Pepper. That's all photo shit.

What? I'm telling you. Google it yourself then. The European cans. I'm not. European. What I'm telling you try Google it yourself then the European cans I'm European cut. I don't disagree with it. You know what my fucking they stink and they don't hold the carbonation Listen, I like I like a Red Bull can for Red Bull But you're starting to do cokes and stuff like this. They sent this to me in a delivery this weekend. I Almost called it. Yeah, it's a 20 ounce cup. That's a 20 ounce I'll take, though.

That's a double can where I can fill it. Can I get credit for sniping that this was a cup, not a can? Yeah, it's a cup, dude. I'm telling you. I'm not saying they don't have this. This is the exact cup. This cup that is this picture. Maybe it is.

It definitely is. I don't think it is. Look at the top right corner. Then pull up the can that I'm talking about. The one that you sent it to me. I must have picked the wrong picture. You're raking me over the coastside of y'all, you god damn communists. I just want to know. This is real.

16 ounce can though. Give me the pound. I'm fine with the different shape if it's a pounder. I don't think they are. It says 16 ounce can on it. I don't think they are. Dude, it says 16 ounce can on it. I don't think so. I think you're drunk. That one right there, the one on the left.

To the left, down, down one. That's a pounder, dude. No, not that. The pounder's all right. You're missing it on purpose. It's right there in the middle. I'm not missing anything on purpose. To the left.

This one? Stop, think about it. Okay, but that's not the same one. That's a limited edition now. What do you mean? No? That's the wrong picture listen. I got they got dr. Peppers and Red Bull canes. I don't know what I tell you all right I maybe you only you got the only one I don't know I don't know what I kept it at that was the case Why don't you say something? I sit on some game collectors item That was the case. Why didn't you say something? I was sitting on some game. Goddamn collector's item. That's in a safe deposit box out in Queens. It's fucking roasting in here, man.

It's not that bad. Yes, it is. It's not. Hold on, hold on. I do this, I do agree with you that, listen, I'm all for increasing can size. One can for me isn't enough, especially if I'm going- It's not increasing can size.

It's the same. Hey, 12 ounces. I'm agreeing with you. Relax. I understand you don't like the small 12 ounce can now or the different size one now, which you have yet to provide any documentation for. It's screwing me on purpose.

I'm not saying they don't exist. I'm just saying I am. Yeah, that's the pound. They got skinny DC sometimes. I don't like it. Well my mom's been doing I guess my airplane one the little like the fucking not even the short fat ones the short fat ones from back in the day I can get down with little ponies these little fucking I feel like Andre the giant drinking these yeah And trust me if I get two three four five slices of Sam's pizza in front of me I gotta go to a case and I make a tank with them. I look like I look like a fat ass

I know it's no good cracking my 18th fucking diet. They do stay chilly willy though. They stay killed That's just not enough. I've learned how to throttle my Through a regular sized can either you know cuz Patti bought Miller like ponies by accident. She going to a frat party I think you know cuz patty bought Miller Lite ponies by accident. She going to a frat party Hair screaming man you take him down at once one slug though I get to a treat him there hasn't been there hasn't been many beers You can't take down on one slug there big fair enough But I don't like this man and the carbonation is in the same why why are they changing this why are we doing this? It doesn't make any sense. Yeah, I mean, sure.

This thing you have been able to, you have been yet to prove. I'm telling you they're there. Where did you get it? Where did I get what? This Dr. Pepper that you shouldn't be drinking. Fair enough. Doctor's orders. Where did you get it? Dr. Pepper, I had two of them.

Um, I can't remember where I got it. Huh. Okay. Yeah, it was delivery. You remember you just don't want to say. No, no, I would say. I went straight to the factory. I was on a tour. He's eliminated. It was either the Mexican place or the pizza joint. Okay. Sent it over. All right. They were noticeably flat. See, slim can, 12 ounce.

Yeah, but I mean, dude, he's on the dark web to find that. He's in Super City. Super City candy toys and parties. Where prices are out of this world. And I think it's in Britain, I think it's, that's European. Cause it's got the British English button at the top. They're moving over here. British English button.

Yeah, there. Huh? I don't know, but in Chinese or Spanish too. What are you getting your sodas? This guy's got fucking bootleg soda. I feel like you're pulling the sodas out of those crates full of straw. They ship guns.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're in the head of like an artifact or something. They still throw customs off. The wood shavings in it. Packed in coffee. Keep the dogs off of it. Maybe it was the Chinese spot. I don't know.

See where your allegiance is lie. Fair enough. Plus this site's got free delivery. Minimum on $300 order. Super City for all your orders. Is it me or is that a lot of gum? Yeah. That's what else they're selling Yeah, you know yeah, that's like that site's gonna get you jammed off, dude

That's there with that had that there was a picture of a baby on there. That's like by a white baby You're getting nurse pepper What's that? Medical medical assistant pepper Nurse peppers all right is there a doctor pepper medical assistant pepper. Nurse pepper's all right. Is there a doctor pepper? All right, all that aside, gang,

we got a gosh darn family episode. I don't like it. Buddy, no one else is disagreeing with you. I don't mind a Pellegrino. Also, you do this thing where you act like, I'm making it, I'm on your side. I bet you're cool with it. No, I just said, I don't, I'm, You're European in-laws. All the evidence,'re cool with it. No, I just said I don't I'm

European in-laws all the evidence they don't I mean the amount of soda I drink date I drink more soda in a week than their whole family drinks sometimes when I'm there So they're better than us. I'm like I gotta I'm like I gotta sneak out and get some go down to the fucking bodega Get me some go down the red light district Give me some straight stuff. Yeah, Fanta in me. Yeah, they don't do it. They don't, I'm like, sitting there eating dinner, drinking water like it's the fucking 40s. Man, what are we doing? My one cousins did that.

Everybody else played ball, but when you had dinner at my cousins, and if you were there by yourself, there was a few times in the summer where, some reason I got chipped up there, and I was up there at like a- Patty's anniversary. On a a weekday without my brother. You ever been you ever been somewhere without your siblings

or your places? Yeah. Well, here actually, as a kid, where you were just sent somewhere or went somewhere like I remember just specifically having weekday dinner at my one cousin and they were all it was all water. And the kids loved it They loved water. I want cousin Lori loved water. No, I hate it as a kid the way Oh, man, I remember that's a milk I remember being down the shore and my uncle was watching me a couple days like he was what you know

Whatever my mom had to go home to work. He was whatever he was watching me great uncle love him But he guess he was just frustrated how picky of an eater I was and I heard him the fucking motherfucking me and these Cousins to be at the dog track well He's not I don't like anything this kid and I was fucking like playing with my trucks like damn this dude Hey fucking speed it up with the chicken nuggets. He was trying to give me like flounders Hey, I can speed it up with the chicken nuggets. He was trying to give me like flounders. I'm doesn't get out of here

That's probably 14 Eat your oysters Rockefeller But we got a guy started found the episode on our hands gang as you know when you join the patreon we will answer Your garbage question on the air. Yes, sir. We're working through we're getting to everybody on the air. Yes, sir. We're working through it. We're getting to everybody. Alright, this one's from Cocoa Walnut. Why we're talking about soot is... Soot is supposed to be a summertime treat. A lot of ice, not skinny cans. Regular American cans. Alright, I'm on your side. What do you think? I'm against you here? This is how it starts. Kit, let's talk about Tushy. Ooh, I can hear you squeaking from here, big guy.

Let's talk about keeping that butthole clean. What are you doing, wiping? Like it's the 1800s? Do yourself a favor, get a Tushy for the house. Nice clean shot of water up there. Clean as a whistle. Yeah, they were nice enough to send me one. I got it, hooked it up at the house. Oh my God, I've been living like a bozo this whole time.

You gotta see this thing. It is buttholes immaculate. And send him pictures to everybody. There's a few things that have come along where I've been like, holy crap. I know pun intended. I've been I see the world differently. And the at home bidet is one of those things. When you realize what you've been doing wrong this whole time or refreshing. It's a hell of a product that has it has a three stream nozzle for a total clean, baby

I'm talking inside outside up down back forth thing will do the windows things doing the ABCs on your bottle New air mesh bag for discreet travel and faster dry time plus they have new anti-corrosion Carabiner and key ring for ultra durable. And it comes in five new colors, baby. It's the time of year for spring cleaning and what better way to start than a clean bee hole. Every Hello Tushy bidet comes with a 30-day hassle-free, 30-day hassle-free return and a 12-month warranty. Here is the turkey.

Join the two million butts who've already switched to Tushy. Stay shower fresh all summer long. For a limited time, our listeners will get 10% off their first bidet order. When you use our code GARBAGE at checkout, that's 10% off your first bidet order. At HelloTushy. H-E-L-L-O-T-U-S-H-Y.com. Promo code GARBAGE. Do it. Do it. Kit, what do you know about that bespoke post?

Oh, you mean cool guy shit for cool guys? Talking about the box of awesome pinhead gets sent right to your door talking cool guy stuff. I just said that! Stuff for the outdoors, stuff for the home bar, stuff for cooking, stuff for grilling. You got some grooming products too. Get a fresh box delivered every single month so you can show off in front of the boys. Yes and as if there wasn't already enough cool gear in each box with Box of Awesome with Box of Awesome Premium they're doubling the fresh finds for you baby.

They sent I mean they I get it to the house I get it to here we got a bunch they just sent us a cigar box with the lighter, the cut, the whole thing. It's like it's like Christmas once a month it's fantastic. To get started you take the quiz at BoxOfAwesome.com your answers are gonna help them But don't pick the right box of awesome for you It's free to join and they release new items every month across a ton of different categories choose from the standard or the premium box When you become a member of access to stellar discounts across a plethora of products, we're talking 30% off or more sometimes So with box of awesome you're supporting small business. 90% of everything

that comes in your Box of Awesome is from a small upcoming brand. Here is the turkey. You get 15% off your first box. When you sign up at boxofawesome.com, you go over there, you enter the code GARBAGE at checkout. When you get the garbage, the boxofawesome.com code GARBAGE, 15% off your first box box of awesome dot com code garbage. Now back to the show. Back to the show. Um, I this was some cocoa. Well, I never had one red. Have you ever used the water dispenser from a fountain drink to wash your hands? That's a yeah.

You seem to wait. I can show you workers and shit, though, if I can. Like a Chipotle or something. You know what else I don't mind painting the drain. You know what else I don't mind? Let's say you're at a restaurant. I'm listening. You're having a nice meal And they bring some lemons for whatever say there's some lemons in the table For whatever reason at the end instead of getting up and go in the bathroom Taking a lemon and squeeze it in your hands and watch a little groan lemon

It's a little and then drying off with the napkin You got that fresh lemon scent sure, but it's no good. I Mean, I'm not saying it's not guy. I don't I mean it's a that's a little you should Remove yourself to wash and you're also that's not really washing your hand. You need water to wash your hands I don't know lemons are very cleansing a lot of lemons in a lot of popular cleaning products Yeah, mix with a lot of other shit Huh, no one's just breaking out a lemon and fucking doing them doing the kitchen floor. They should it be all-natural I saw a chick one time hit her pits with a lemon and I was like I hate hippies

Yeah, lemon peel dude, that's too much How long you date her all right, what are you a margarita? Got salt around her head All right, let's see this one. It's this one's from Canadian trash Lee. I've never thought I'm a big booze bag I ain't never thought of this is Is it garbage a drink warm fireball? You throw it in the microwave for eight to ten seconds and chef's kiss, huh? Kind of makes sense cuz it's like a hot toddy a hot toddy. Yes, surprise. That wouldn't blow up what the alcohol Blow up. Yeah blow up in the microwave

Alcohol flammable. It's combustible. I Don't think that's you know, I mean what you don't Toby. Firstammable. It's combustible. I don't think that's, you know, I mean, what? You know, Toby, first of all, fireball is not combustible. It's got to be at a certain proof to be to be able to get lit. No, you could light fireball on fire. It's in the name. Not with a lighter, I don't think. How about, yeah, you could. Any alcohol you can, not wine or beer. But I'm out. But but like vodka you can certainly light on

fire whiskey man this is an all-time flaming nose first Google response if for whatever reason you are planning to create real mayhem with your microwave then place some alcohol inside alcohol like any liquor is livable thank you really yeah but you can just take a vodka and put a lighter to it? Yeah, for sure. No. That's how they make maltose cocktails. No, that's gasoline, you idiot. That's not a real cocktail. No one's drinking that. They put gasoline in a beer bottle. Put that with a twist. Three maltose, please. My friends are Russian. Yeah, but I don't think vodka's gonna put it out like a lighter. How do you think they make flambe? That's behind a proof. That's what I'm saying

It's not every liquor cuz that's how they would test moonshine back in the day. I've done it with 151 it went up sure um Let me see does regular I'm pretty sure I'm not saying it doesn't that's how you flambe things table side or like when they have a dessert in a fancy restaurant I listen think they're using kerosene. Not kerosene but a higher On your bananas foster. These are some real grain alcohol. Would you like a bananas foster? I don't know what that is. It's like Flambe bananas. Yes, it does. It's normal vodka flammable. See? Two idiots

Told you. I feel like I've tried this a bunch and it never worked. Trying to what? Blow up the microwave? No, just with a lighter. Now I know what your uncle was talking about. This kid's got a bit of a problem. This kid's putting beers in the oven. Uh, damn. Don't try that at home, kids. Yeah, but I do respect the hot toddy vibe.

That's what I'm saying. I think that's pretty good. And we're on Christmas time, some warm cinnamon, a heater outside. Keep your bones warm. An Irish coffee. Or you know what's nice? A little something in a tea. Oh, isn't that a hot toddy? I think that's how they make it. Yeah, hot toddy is whiskey and tea. Oh, is that what it is? It's actually an actual thing. That's a fancy name for whiskey and tea.

I thought hot toddy just meant anything that was ads that had alcohol and was hot. That also sounds like a hot grandma. Yeah, it's a hot toddy. My cousin Pam. You're a real hot toddy. All right, this one's from Long Island Trash. $10 homie, never had one red.

Are you garbed? You've grown up without AC, so you use the cold shower plus icy hot and a fan combo to stay cool? Oh, that's probably got to work, right? Oh Man, that's crazy. First of all, I know it's not good to put icy hot all over your body. Sure I know a girl died because of that Cross-country runner years ago put it all over she died. Sorry to hear that. Yeah, no good. That's crazy. That's that doesn't work. That's he said it worked. That works when you're not used

to AC you can get that saying I'm not saying it's bringing you down to 60 degrees Fahrenheit. But that's gotta be a relief until it gets hot. Sure, you got to stay on top of that fan. You got to be you got to step away from that. It'd be sweating. But then does the water on the feel nice? Like if you got icy hot and you start sweating, does it bring up the ever essence?

That's what sweat is for to cool down the body. Dr. Foley, thanks a lot. Nurse. Thank you. It's nurse pepper. He is two years of school. Got my associates. All right, let's see. This one's from Ian. What's up, boys?

$10 homie, too showy. Hey, buddy. Never had one read. How you doing? Is it garbage? I had personal flair to songs when you sing along with them. My wife loves holding notes longer than the actual singer, and it keeps me up at night That's bad my dad always sang the wrong lyrics wrong lyrics has one thing, but she's trying to show off her

Like really letting it go sure that's a show that Casey Musgrove what it's all about Yeah, I really let you sing that's I mean unless she's a singer Maybe I could see it being like you're putting your own Little whatever maybe I have a couple like that. I'll do a little something. I had a little something in there a Couple my own keep up. Well, you're talking to the drum Yeah, I mean I First thing you need to know about riding in my vehicles, I'm a bit of a scat man.

I like the golf script a little bit. Do a little space, a little jam. More of an experience. Yeah, I'm singing in the car. You're singing in the car with the wife? Yeah. Do you belt it out? I mean, I'm not belting it out, I'm singing along, should say are you singing with her? Are you trying to top does she sing along not really?

It's tough. I heard a language. Yeah, it's tough for her to pick up the all of especially if it's like You know analogies or whatever. It's like she sure it's like that. Why the fuck would he say? Do you listen any German music in the car? No any what would be like a hardcore German band? Ramstein That's a big concept there because it just went like two weeks ago do Do has to be my question for you is big on the love songs over there. That is a love song I'll get you a bed daddy. Oh, there's the ratio of cuz when you're with the boys

With the boys the ratio of 50 cents is high. Of 50 cent? Yeah. There's a lot of 50 cent. Is that still going? Wait, you think I play a lot of 50 cent with you guys? You do, more than anyone I know. Yeah, but that's like- He only has two playlists. That might be one-

You have Billy Joel. Listen. You have a 50 cent playlist. We've been- no. And you have Pandora. And you have Clay Cigrock. It's Pandora. Oh, they're not your curated playlist. Oh

Think I'm sitting at home making fucking playlists. I thought so that's relatively your I do I don't like that this gets put on me that I have to playlist cuz I'll be driving Wherever we're on whenever on the road. I'll put on something that appeases everybody. Hey classic rock, whatever, you know and everybody hey classic rock whatever you know and I can't like sit there and like pull up songs I'm fucking driving doing 80 and 60 by the way also recording a podcast I got fucking that's your job if you don't as long as I have full cool so I'm the DJ I'm the DJ from now on you hear that Toby I don't care I yeah I don't want to be done focused on keeping focus on getting five souls to the show. You know what I mean? Good. Alright, we have it. Sleeping most of the

time or asking dumb question. Fair enough. I just put on my sleep sounds. Well, I got nothing that he likes. We all agree on the men's. Yeah, right. So, we play this. We play through that playlist and then it's like alright little Zack Bryant Well, is that little ZB maybe but it's like you got Tommy who only wants to listen to Nas you got Luke Who's in the fucking you know Travis Scott or I don't know what they got this guy's in the death metal or something He's he's talking about Ramstein. I don't know what the fuck you're talking about and you who knows what you like You only like your original song. I like the classics

Yeah, ah the H full, but what would you put on? So the little space for him to play around yeah, you have full run. What are you putting on? What am I putting on 90s hits little gin blossoms the pumpkins? You're on a pearl jam problem with you is we get like an editorial before the song I was on a park bench in Seattle in 1995. I'm a set it and forget it kind of guy. You're real like this is the one. Well it's not about the music, it's about the backstory. Nobody wants that.

Behind the music with H. Foley. You're almost as worse as Tommy. Tommy doesn't let a song finish. Oh, TRL Tommy? It drives Foley up a fucking. Oh, give me start. Jesus Christ. Yeah, but you have full you have full rain. I just put it on to put it on. So there's no we're not sitting there in goddamn silence. Sir, the question was how much 50 Cent has played in the car with your wife?

None. And I don't play that much with you guys. I would say you do that much. You play more 50 Cent than I've ever heard from from from. You're 52 years old I was around when he was banging still is I was in my car. I was in the club That's the only time I played is like if we're you weren't even allowed to go to clubs when that song was popular I was in red oak and all that stuff. I was down there to tunnel what shining shoes Pussy going through girls purses I

What were you doing? Popping bottles, pussy. Going through girls' purses. I was in New York doing all that stuff. You were doing coke in an apartment by yourself. I don't know why you gotta bring that up. Don't act like you were hot on the scene. I was bouncing around a little bit. I went to Limelight, the tunnel.

Inside of your apartment, freaking out. Screaming out, making sure the cops weren't covering yourself in tin foil. I went to Scoresight, the tunnel. Inside of your apartment, freaking out. Freaking out, making sure the cops weren't coming, covering yourself in tin foil. I went to Scores a couple of times, Strip Club, couple of nice dinners at Smith and Lewinsky, the Palm. You've been up here for 10 years, you named a couple of dinners. You weren't really fucking connected, okay? I was going through something.

Yeah, bag after bag, yeah. And McDonald's. Yeah, bag after bag of yak. And McDonald's. Uh, no. No 50 cent with my wife. No 50 cent with anybody, but if it like comes up, well I'll put it on. That's crazy, you think I play a lot of 50 cent. I think you do. A lot for a person or more than you guys here?

I think a lot for any person at this point in time. That's crazy. If it's more than twice, you're in the top like 3% of the world. You play his obscure music. I'll play a deep cut from time to time. His demos. You'll play Lloyd Banks solo joints.

That was a great album, that went double platinum. It did. Oh, you're breaking my balls for I thought Lloyd Banks was the game for about 10 years. That's what he was talking about his last name is Banks, isn't it? I think so. I mean, as far as I'm concerned. Hold on, let me see. Let me see if I can defend myself a little bit.

You got it. You have a 50 cent playlist. No, I don't have a playlist. Yes, you do. That's what Pandora is. You picked it. No, I didn't. It's not a, it's called The Candy Shop. I'll take you. You act like I'm sitting at home, he's got 37 million monthly listeners on Spotify.

I'm not in the top 3% if I listen to two songs a month. It's pretty good. Guy's moving numbers. Does all right. Talk about it, listen to him once, it's too much. Talk to 37 million people, that's not even counting Napster or YouTube. Sure, I'll give it to you.

But no, she's not a fan, I'm not allowed to play. I gotta be home by myself. She doesn't understand. I've annoyed my girl by me, by annoyed me by singing a song so much. I have that problem. You guys have that joke where you try to get one stuck in my head. Him and Luke play that so easy. You're like the Manchurian candidate, dude.

I can get you to do anything. Do some 50 cent. Let's set the mood. No, the other day you were singing a song, but you were saying the one lyric wrong every time. Oh, of course I'm not a smart pop pop over here. What was that? Pop-up I said see you didn't hear me Yo geezer Now the song take me down the road. That's a little bit windy

Yeah, I but I belt that out and it drives are crazy They stop then I put it on Drives are nuts. It's goddamn hit. I don't know what to tell you You know all rights a hit who Curtis Jackson Also Lloyd bangs Tony, yeah, yo and young buck that was a great time and rap Tony Ayo's. All right. I seen him all live He's friends with show So he's cool. He's high he's back. He's hot. I would have 50 cent on the show in a heartbeat. Are you kidding? Of course, he's all right. I'm gonna tell I'm gonna tell him you don't like

Are you kidding? Of course. He's all right. I'm gonna tell I'm gonna tell him you don't like Hey, he said if you listen to a song once a year, that's too much that's not what I said I'm gonna say kidding the shorts was talking shit He's always been always cool straight through and you're painted on jeans And now you guys are trying to you guys are trying to cool for 50 cent You cracker. Kurt, I mean you would be right. Guys, if you need my 50 cent playlist hit me up. I'll stop the em.

You. All right. Let's see here. This one's from Cody is a garbage. You use random items to improve your smile. My dad has a messed up front tooth and glue to press on finger now to it and Then filed it down to size That can't look good, dude

Look good. It's red It's that I mean hey man you got a mic in your teeth Someone's got I mean Where would that go? I don't know. You can't put into an apple. But I've been thinking. About I want to get can you get like a tester of veneers to see what they would look like?

No, I don't think so. I think I got to get them. You got to be able to see my teeth. The problem is, is then it's then it's like 50 racks every 10 years or something Really? Yeah, you got to replace them. I didn't know that that's how they get you Oh, yeah, can you get us average cost of veneers? But don't we could do that on patreon what about I mean get Steve? What about the ones that they do for movies? Why can't I just get a pair of those?

Why you I'm not a fucking dentist the ones that mrs. Doubtfire war Those are dentures. You're gonna come in here with a Groucho Marx glasses with a nose and the mustache? Ah. Take them off real quick. I mean, you don't need teeth. I think I do. It's no good.

For what? I don't know. Take a lot of heat. A full set of six to eight veneers can cost between 5,724,000. Yeah, that's all I really need, right? Did you get a couple? I need about 10.

They only last 10 to 15 years though, so you gotta re-up them. What the fuck? Yeah. I'll be dead by then. I'll pry them out of my mouth. Kiss my ass. Yeah, you don't need them. Your teeth, your gut. You just don't want me to be to be attractive What?

Now I'm getting them. No, I don't want to be doing a show with a horse when they when it goes bad And you try to save money. I'm over here putting peanut butter in your mouth like mr. Ed Getting you to talk we got to dub the whole thing with AI No, cuz cuz dude oh man no you would be a nightmare to do that with nice set of choppers no cuz the anxiety going in the last thing you need is more tea yeah what do you mean oh that's rude you've turned into 800 pounds they've made chewing that much easier. It's like giving a serial killer a bigger knife. They're automatics.

Got a license for them. I got a little turner here. All right, this one's from Kippy's Jar of Skippy. Is it garbage that I was invited to a pool party at a friend's stepdad's pool? I'm 32. Yikes. And on the way there, I had to stop at a Walmart to buy a swimsuit, flip-flop, sunscreen, a beach towel,

and a case of twisted tea, half and half. Sounds like a good time. I don't know what your problem is. I know, that's, I mean, obviously, the fact that you're bringing booze is great. Yeah. But I mean, to me, I read this as, this kid's got nothing to go to a pool party.

Sure. He doesn't even have a, like, I gotta give it to you. Better than showing up in a pair of like, you know, Jordan mesh shorts or whatever. Jeans. That was an above ground pool for the record. It's gotta be. Nice and refreshing. Uh huh.

I like it. A pool party to me is very intimate. I would never go to like, um. A party? Yeah. On the fringes. I'm trying to see if I can equate that Let's say a friend of mine who?

somebody I grew up with Okay, I can't suspend my disbelief Let's use your life. Who would it take in your life to? What give me that to go to a pool party? It would have to be a family member. I mean, we're the only ones that have a pool in my family. Alright, suspend. Someone else got a pool. KCB. A comm. Like what level of? KCB? Yeah, I would go to that. You'd go to a KCB pool party. Yeah. Yeah. But not like anything. Would you go to Chrissy Dee's pool party? having a barbecue pool party? Yeah, of course, but I'm saying more if it was like Somebody's graduation party I where it was like formal does that make sense where there was too many mixed Like adults and kids and all that kind of stuff. You don't got to go in the pool. Oh

That sucks at the fucking outdoor party at Jordans on uh, howdy shit fuck that did I saw so many dudes on the Wildwood boardwalk wearing fucking unlace Tim's it was crazy They're back in style. I don't think so Those are the dad's dude just do the you've got to see some pretty dirtbag dads down there. Oh, yeah, that's that's part of the fun Yeah, yeah, I'm a fucking wildwood nine pushing a stroller with not with it with a Bluetooth speaker in it I saw these guys making sandwiches on the beach and the guy had a Bluetooth in I was like dude what no one's calling you Did the bag you're do you mean making sandwich? They had fucking packs of lunch meat.

No plate. They were making them. They were raw dog on top of the cooler and the bag of bread fell in the sand. And the guy picked it up and like, ah, I'm like, dude, you're going to be shit and saying for a week that I ate that every bite into the smallest grain of sand. Yeah. It's like you're biting into a boulder He also had no uh

Mayo, no he went swimming in his pants and his not his pants and his shorts and his shirt and then was just sitting there So like didn't dry off at all Full soak like dripping like just got out of the ocean and started making a sandwich I'm like dude your hands are grody right now, dude Get a bunch of white to towel them off or something. I can't I wish you grab this all over Making a sand crab sandwich Go back to school with Rogers and get Canada's fastest and most reliable internet perfect for streaming lectures all day or Binging TV shows all night save up to $20 per month on Rogers internet

Visit Rogers comm for details. We got you Rogers Yeah, I just was like you a sand crab kid would you dig for saying crabs? I was like I could catch the hell out of a sand crab man put them down my pants make my we the first time somebody Showed me I think it was gonna dig right through Yeah, that looks like something. You know what a sand crab is? They freak me out. It looks like something from Men in Black that would like burrow in your brain and take control.

You're trying to take over the universe. Just kippy walking on the beach sideways. I'm out there crabbing, baby. Yeah, but once you get, once you you get the initial. Yeah cute as a button Oh, yeah, we catch them take them up show my my we got a thing crowd all right. You know There's nothing cute about any type of crab Nah, you're oh, I mean I disagree their little little silver Johns, but they're so creepy nah They're all right. I want you to get past the alien features and all that stuff. I gonna get as a joke. I was gonna get you guys hermit crabs. Oh, yeah

Yeah, I didn't think they would make their car ride home though Yeah, they died pretty quick, but I had one in high school for a couple years too old to be having hermit crabs I feel high school. Yeah, I wanted a carnival. Okay, there's a friend Would you go to his pool party here in a shell spraying you with a water bottle keeping you alive okay all right I used to say that about horseshoe crabs which are scary and gross especially when they die you ever smell a dead horseshoe crab on the beach oh talk about Ozempic perps. Yikes. Yeah, that's like that. It's like medieval death.

But when you research them, there's something in their blood that is really, really good for people. They use hermit crabs or they use horseshoe crabs in modern medicine. And I use ground beef in my tacos. What do you do with them, man? Sure. I feel about crabs. Like it feels about birds. They just freak me out, man.

Even like blue. Do you like crabs? I hate those any seafood. That's right. I love I like a nice soft shell. That's a little too much. I don't really want to see him. What you're looking at? Yeah, I love the soft shell. That's like you're eating a guy. That's a little too much. Oh, really? On a sandwich looking at you. Oh, I love the soft shell. That's like you're eating a guy, dude. That's too weird.

That's too... give me the meat. I'll crack them open. You don't like a soft shell crab. I don't know if I've ever had one. Oh man, delicious. It's too... Lightly fried? Man, no.

Heavy fry. I need that dude to look like a chicken cutty. Putting his hand on your mouth. He's fighting. He's got his arms on your mouth. He's fighting. He's got his arms on my lips, not going in. Trying to stiff arm you. Just shaking off the bread and looking to fight.

Yeah. Uh-uh. You know what I had? This is Fat Ass Hour. You know what I had down there? Shout out to Owens on 17th Street in North Iowa. What'd you have, Tubby? They put, you can get bacon on a cheesesteak that huh levels it. Oh really?

So good. She's like you want to put bacon on it. He said the fuck yeah, let's go you've been talking It was alright really nice. I told you there's a little bit more of a bite yeah, I don't know if I'd be into that but there's that one joint in Jersey or Philly that does a Cheese steak and they put little pieces of Scrapple in it. That I would be okay with the same gives you the same thing. Very bond me kind of vibe. You ever have a bond me. Hmm. Vietnamese sandwich.

I know what they are. Pull a little pate or foie gras in there. Pretty classy. Now is it trashy to order cheese steak egg rolls as an appetizer and then cheese steak as a main dish? I'm asking for myself. Yeah. Okay.

Just check. That's crazy. There was bacon on it. You never double up. Yeah, you do. No, you never double up. Listen, I view it as... You're wasting an ap or an entree. No, there's others. Let me sprinkle the table. I don't get cheese steaks that often. I can go a year not getting a cheese steak. That's a lie. You've never gone one year. I for sure have. No, you have not. I for sure

have. You have never gone a calendar year in your 38 years without having a cheese. First of all, I didn't start eating cheese steak. So I was in my mid 20s. Fair enough. Okay. So there's 25 years. Since you started, since you got a taste of the good stuff.

No, for sure. No. I don't know how else to convince you. Have you never not been home in the greater Philadelphia area? Yes, yes, so many times. Over a year? Yes. That is not true.

I've known you the whole time. You went to school in Philly. You worked in Philly. You started comedy in Philly. For 10 years I was up here. I would go back. I wouldn't get cheese steak. First of all, I'd go back two times a year and would never get fucking cheese steak.

I'd be in... I'm telling... Why would I lie to you, man? What do I have here? Why are we enemies? I just don't believe that. I understand and we're at an impasse because I don't have, you have to take my word for it. Which I will not.

Okay, fair enough. So prove me documenting. You're putting bacon on a cheesesteak. You've had a cheesesteak every year. Dude, the times I would go back to Philly, I would rarely be staying at my mom's for a fuck- That's the first thing I do when I get home. Okay, we're different people. I don't know what to tell you. Chicken parm, different story. I'm going out, I was getting a chicken parm. I would rarely get cheesesteaks, I'm telling you.

Interesting. I didn't start getting them down the shore until more recently. This is gonna escalate. It's gonna end in a blood test Just comes back whiz wit see what kind of Cooper Sharps in his system No, I'm telling you. Okay, I believe you this all this food talk reminded me of something I want to share with you boys listen I was at the grocery store the other day and a guy came out of the store with two boxes of these no bag Real American hero. I loved it. It's boxes of these, no bag, real American hero. I loved it. It's one of my, it's summertime, it's perfect.

I've never seen this. I've never seen this branding before, but it can. Fat Boys. I don't know them. I don't know them either. The Fat Boy Jr. Ice Cream Sandwich. Whoa. Junior premium, only 110 calories.

You're losing weight. Yeah. They got a cookies and cream for the audio listeners. It's an ice cream sandwich called Fat Boys. I've never heard. No. And they got pretty good shelf space too. Fat Boy Jr. sound like all of our friends. They got the Chipwitch stuffed in the corner there. And this is you taking the picture because I see your Menzinger shirt in the reflection. Oh yeah, definitely. Oh yeah. Busy weekend, huh? I just found out about the FBJs.

Sure. That's pretty good. Do you keep anything like that in the freezer? You keep an ice cream in there? I can't. Why? Cause I'll eat it all. Sure. I went through a real drumstick phase when I was a bit of a fat boy junior.

Drumsticks are alright. Yeah. Yeah, they're really good. You get that mix and match grab bag? You know what's an unsung hero that I don't get a lot of credit for the Carvel flying saucers What's that? They're their ice cream sandwiches very thin crispy cookie Ever had you probably weren't a Carvel man growing up There probably wasn't one around you No, but they had they had them in the supermarkets by that time sure sure

We were the um usually the America's Choice I think was super fresh is like the select brand or those ice cream sandwiches the ones that now they know never melt Really? Oh, yeah, man. I got all that stuff in me. Oh You got a whole frying pan in you yeah, those things are no bueno Probably why I'm so backed up. You got a whole frying pan in you. Yeah, those things are no bueno. All right, let's see here. This one's from the body surfing runner up.

In parentheses, I got robbed. Long time listener, never had one read. Is it garbage if your dad took pride in winning the annual biggest splash contest at the town pool club? FYI, the average age of contestants was nine to 14 years old. Nah, big man gotta let him flex. Hey, wins a win, baby.

A dub's a dub. That's the last one in the flex. Hey, wins a win. Bugs a dub. That's the last one in the column. I respect that. The town pool. Love it. You have a swim club growing up. We did. We did.

We would do it. My mom would get the you know, a lot of the families did it, you know, like I did it. Pat's family did it. And then like I would go when if Pat's family was going, my mom would be like,

I'll drop you off. Like if she was going to work or whatever. And then they're responsible for watching you. Yeah. Or like my brother's sister would be there. Ketchup Finsky for the snack bar fatty. Yeah, of course. Some fries.

Uh-huh. She are chicken tendies. Sure. Also it was right next to a Wawa. So that was like a certain age where you could, you were old enough to leave by yourself and go to Wawa to get lunch. I'm gonna run over to Wawa so that was like a certain age where you could you were old enough to leave by yourself and go to Wawa to get In there eating a hot chicken farm from Wawa smoking I can just see one of those little surfboards that you hang on to as a kid covered in your little barbecue sauce brins

paddle, but pet pedal board they're called knee boards kick board or Yeah, and just kippies legs kicking going nowhere I'm going in a circle Like a shark kids got a bad rudder Can't go left yeah All right, let's see here. This one's from Rick Ross the boss is it garbage and my dad took a stripper and her kids to Disney That's fuck. I mean that's a certain level of. I don't care.

Obviously, he knows and obviously he's old enough to be aware that this is happening. Right. So even if he was like 15, you know what a stroke, you know, that's crazy to me. That's like that's an all time level of fuck it. I mean, the dad's going, I don't care. I appreciate that age I really appreciate getting that certain point. You know maybe he's divorced. Maybe the marriage wasn't great. He's finally out of that But I was going to a local establishment that he likes he hits it off He I mean I assume he was having relations with the lady. That's I don't know maybe she's just going

I'll take you that's what I'm saying. I won't point you step in and go dad She's got your number dude. I mean you're taking you and the kids at Disney you gotta do dirt I mean you would be so Don't I mean not necessarily gentleman's agreement right not that's the con that's the game That's I feel bad. Yeah, I would put the kibosh on that then she's not coughing up the week We're gonna ask him that yeah, you plowing his brawler not Is she jerking you around got them $75 to get in that yeah, let me ask you that lady shaking it on the teacups Yeah, is she yours is that your old lady? That's crazy to me. I mean that's so

That's a lot. Yeah All right, let's see this is from unlimited chill is it garbage if your job starts using bar soap instead of liquid soap in the bathrooms Dude, that's like that's a bad look. That's that's that's times are tight That's a great pending flyer in the front window. Here's the thing. I would rather wash my weight Did he say it was a restaurant and say no it can't be a restaurant that would be I think that's illegal That's a great pending flyer in the front window. Here's the thing. I would rather not wash my hands. Did he say it was a restaurant? He didn't say. No, it can't be a restaurant.

That would be I think that's illegal. Why? I mean, by definition, it's soap. I don't think you're allowed to do that. Remember that parking garage that we used to have to park at? Yeah, I've used that. They had bar of soap in there, and that was in the height of the pandemic.

I remember being like, dude, this is why the thing is, is I would prefer it. In a private situation, like when I were in the hotel, I popped that bar of salt, I love the feeling of a bar in the hand. You feel cleaner. I use that bar soap in the shower. I take that in the shower. Of course, of course. But you just got to get through that first layer of Where everybody else was touching it? I remember even as a kid there'd be a bar of soap in our

Bathroom that they'll like all the and I would be like this is fucking good roadie really yeah Irish spring no, but I'm just like there's a few whatever sure Yeah, we just heard a time like oh And I was always the last one out of the house because the kids went to like two people have used I probably my sister Wasn't using it my brother. I'm like this is still kind of wet from my brother. Oh Fresh nuts on it Short little short and curlies on there Yeah, I would uh I would quit my job if that had like I or bring your own

hand sanitizer or something that I couldn't do. I couldn't do it. I'd have to be taking deuces and not washing my hands. I'm mostly hand sanitizer now anyway. I'm not washing my hands. Mm hmm. Well, hand sanitizer. I wash my airport. I don't always get the hand sanitizer in a way out

Are you watching your after your duken? Of course. Yeah, I'm duking How do you can watch your shirt? All right, this one's from David is it garbage to have a relative living in the garage of your home No for context as a kid growing up. My uncle lived with us in the garage and your home. No for context as a kid growing up My uncle lived with us in the garage and we still parked cars in there. Oh, that's bad, dude That's he's jammed up You're real jammed and you're freezing in the winter and roasting in the summer. You probably come in the house I don't know. I mean dude if you're willing to sleep next to cars

I don't think you know not, dude, if you're willing to sleep next to cars, I don't think you know, not to mention the spider situation. You catch a rogue mouse in here going into the trash or something. Gartner snake. Oh, scary. I had one of my roller blade as a kid. Yeah, like a Gartner. Oh, man. Those might as well been a double black diamond. I thought those things were venomous as shit.

Spitters to me, they were. I would do me and my brother. I think it was in my brother's skate or my we were like going to play hockey or something or like whatever. We sat down and he it's I just remember it slithering out of a black roller skate roller blade and me and him taking off dude running inside yelling for my dad And then it took us I mean do we would take it was a mongoose. Oh, dude We got the water moccasin we could take That pit viper out there

I checked every time for the rest of my life whenever I put on a roller blade or Even shoes that were out in the garage I tap on put my hand in there that happened with me in a roach one time I had sneakers at at a restaurant that I was working at like my left them there Yeah, and I put my slip my piggy in there And it was a like the size of a mouse and I just felt it moving around. Oh my god Now do you start crunching your toes to get them or do you up do you pull out? God now do you start crunching your toes to get them or do you up do you pull out of there? Scares me that's your I mean you're you're behind the eight ball if you're living in a garage with cars I'm fine with I understand if you're jammed up

You might be coming off some sort of substance abuse issue or something or getting out of getting out of the clink You need a place to crash there. They're the giving're giving you that. That's probably fun for the kids, though. What to open up the garage door, see him shirtless working out with the handles with the big springs. Yeah. Jumping rope with the gargoyles taking off to school. Need a ride. You don't have a license, Uncle Pete. Yeah, be all right. Yeah, so it's like, yeah, you gotta be jammed.

If you took a house or a garage and turned it in a little, like, you know, oh, I can make this cozy. It cannot have a garage door. It's gotta be, yeah. I think that it ceases to be a garage. Well, what was the garage? You can't be sleeping out there with a garage door. There's no insulation.

That's bad news. I know, trust me, I'm trying to to I know, but I wouldn't hate it. Sounds a little cozy to be honest with you. I don't know until it's all cozy till they go in the main house and go snoozing and you're out there with the no way all the crickets. You hear the security alarm go off so you can't even get in. You're on the outside of the perimeter. That's pretty bad, dude.

Is it garbage to keep the car magnet and windshield sticker from a funeral so you can turn right on red lights with cameras and get out of the ticket? Is that true? I don't know. I don't think so. There has to be other cars. Would you get lost? I but I don't know. Maybe they just like look and go, oh, it's a funeral thing. So you're driving around with that on all the time

That could be in a rush. I gotta wear a black suit everywhere sunglasses your buddy's laying in the back Yeah, that's trash, and I don't know if that technically works, but I mean I Guess it's working for me. He's doing it just fighting a ticket is so the energy of doing that trying to get out of a digital ticket I remember that I remember the fucking PPA in Philly wrote me a ticket. I Parking wars was shot in Philly. That's how bad it was it was Notoriously horrible was by like a third party. They all claimed like oh, it's not the city. It's not the state It's a it's all it was all fucking wonky, but I remember this guy wrote me a ticket

I like ran to go somewhere for like ten minutes And I was like I I went put money in the thing went and put the slip on the fucking windshield I was like I'm good for a half hour came back five minutes later. He wrote me a ticket I was like hey, man. You just wrote me a ticket. Here's my purchase time at, you know, whatever. You wrote the ticket here. And dude, he turned, I started yelling. He gave me like a, nah, it's your problem now, bud. I went, what the fuck, hard work? And I started pulling everything, everything I had.

Well, maybe not that hard, but I'm doing all right. I'm looking, I'm looking for work. You had the big box of munchkins in your hand big box of Joe I'll get coffee for everybody in the office. You hit me with this. Yeah, these were for you Yeah, I remember to just show on whatever and I'm like, I'm not gonna fucking drive down to traffic court sitting that fucking Pattern not happening. Yeah, I'm with you fucking pattern not happening. Yeah, I'm with you.

This one's just funny. This is Rose. Ten dollar homie. Is it garbage to hit a pinata at a child's birthday party if you're an adult? You never got a good swing at one of those. We were never pinata people once or twice. Yeah, it was like I think when they got bigger, like a Ford, like they got cheap or something, never had a tree to be to do that. It always gets knocked off the string and just winds up On the ground yeah, that was the few times. It'd be like you hit it

I like the candy in those things though that off-brand off-brand shitty candy I like that stuff a little like the little hard candies that you don't really know the name brand. I'm into that I'm not picking up candy out of the dirt and eating it. What are you talking about as a kid? Yeah, you never picked up candy when they threw it at the parade? Really? Oh, I used to clean up. I was just to get you away from the car. Get out of here. You know, with now and later. They're just rocks.

No, I don't think I've ever been to a parade where they did that. Toby? Yes. I didn't know they did that at a parade still just now. That was the yeah, that was the crowd pleaser. They throw't know they did that at a parade still just now. Oh that was the, yeah that was the crowd pleaser. They throw candy from the fire trucks at you. Maybe, I don't know. It was always like green Tootsie Rolls and shit. I love those. You don't like fruities? Probably easier to say what candy you don't like honestly. Yeah, it's very very rare that you've, uh, candies come up. You're literally like, I like this stuff where I don't know what it

is. Yeah. I don't know if there is a candy. it is. Yeah, I don't know if there is a cat poison I don't know if there is a candy that I that I wouldn't like neck a wafer Yeah, love all them somewhere start it with them back in the day I love them, but that child of the 70s dog that brown one was not the best, but I powered through it You mean the licorice one? Yeah, are you a black licorice guy? No, but if they're in a jujji fruit I'm they're going in so if I was sitting here with a pack of black Licorice, I said here. Do you want one now? So that's the one candy you don't like Yeah, but if it's a mix stop just that's the one candy you don't like his black fine. I'll eat it

Things listen to big black licorice Get them. I can see Foley eating the licorice going this shit sucks. I'm just eating candy. I don't mind a good and plenty which is black licorice with a candy coating. I prefer a good and fruity. Alright let's see I got time for one or two more this is from Casey Venma. Have you ever brought a TV and an Xbox to the laundry mat? Jesus Christ, how many how many loads are you doing? That's a lot. That's I mean, are you're a laundry mat guy?

Are people doing that? And a video game guy? No, Jesus Christ. Carrying all that shit. That's heavier than a laundry. That's crazy. I mean, I know a lot of people specifically in New York. I probably assume in a lot of places would booze it now like while they're waiting Grab a sixer. She's a couple of pot. I mean you're just sitting there waiting a game boy You're what is it called switch twitch switch switch? Yeah I thought that was the name of this site that you go to twitch twitch. Yeah going there with a switch

I could see that yeah, I mean that may I mean that's what it's for that's portable I mean if you're rolling in the fucking AV car and I watch a movie the 72-incher yeah bring it in the big boy I'm surprised. I'd let that fly. I had to go to a 24-hour one not that long ago. They get something washed All the way up your pants again the Heights man It was we were going on the road and I needed something for that next day. Really? Yeah. I was like, I got to run in and just I'm like, I my

the one in my building was closed and I needed the wash. I needed a quick award at dirty. I don't think I had any clothes. It was like I'm like, I have no T-shirts. I was like, we're not going to land. I'm going to have to go buy everything. It just was like I've done that before on the road. I've just I've done that Well, what listen I understand is I'm not just gonna put on dirty clothes to do the show

I mean as I talked to the guy with three t-shirts, I apologize. Um Yeah, whatever it was. It was like 11 and I'm like, oh I can I'll be home by 1230 or whatever dude And I mean it was day walker time in there It was crazy guys guys in there with fucking that weren't doing laundry making soup And it was big I peel potatoes We gotta wrap it up Gang we love you to death do yourself a favor do us a favor grab some tickets to the count Basie theater August 17 We got the Route 66

store coming up in September. Yes, grab some tickets for that and the big show in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, December 13th. We're closing out the year down at Parks Casino. Come on out and see the boys. It's going to sell out. So get those tickets now. We love you and we'll see you next week. Peace.