Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Steve Gerben!

Episode Date: June 26, 2025

Are You Garbage presents actor and comedian Steve Gerben! We're talking School Talent Shows, Golfing and general anxieties! You know Steve Gerben from stand up, Matt and Shanes Secret Podcast w/ Shane Gillis, Tires, Flagrant, Late Night with Seth Myers, No Bad Lies w/ Andrew Santino, Look at Dish, Gilly and Keeves, and so much more! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG 2025 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored By: Express VPN: Secure your online data TODAY by visiting https://ExpressVPN.com/garbage Pretty Litter: Right now save 20% on your FIRST order and get a free cat toy at https://PrettyLitter.com/garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Gang, do you have a garbage question that the boys have to hear? Do you like stand-up comedy? Do you like having a night out with the boys, having a couple of pops? Come see an RU Garbage live show! Yeah, we got a second show out in San Francisco, then Portland, Seattle, Braya, California, Burlington, Vermont, Boston, Massachusetts, low ticket alert, Atlanta, Georgia, Charlotte, North Carolina, Raleigh, North Carolina, Richmond, Virginia, Baltimore, Maryland, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania,

at the Met, Rochester, New York, and Toronto. Get your tickets now at rugarbage.com and we'll see you on the road. Back on the block. Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H Foley. Hey, everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is R U garbage. Oh, yeah.

So a little show. We sit there with your favorite comedians and we find that's a good to be classy. Yeah. But you're just a big old piece of trash. Amen. I'm your host, H Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tooties in the new edition She spent the night in an Atlantic City drunk tank. Okay, so that's the official start of summer everybody My co's is coming at you from right next to me. He is the CEO of are you garbage? He is an international businessman of my best pal in the whole wide world give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan everybody. What up gang, shout out to you, thanks for tuning in as always, please make sure you

review, subscribe on iTunes, full video available on YouTube, full video available over there on Spotify as well, then the greatest website of all time www.patreon.com, slash RU Garbage, go over there and get all that bonus content gang. Yes sir and gang we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean incredibly special guest here with us today for the first time. He is a very funny very successful stand-up comedian actor writer Producer he is one of the co-creators and stars of the hit series tires over there on Netflix at streaming right now Do yourself a favor give it up for the Philadelphia legend Steve Gerben everybody. Let's go Philadelphia legend Steve Gerben everybody let's go. Gerby's. Gerby you were you were you were the hot dog when we started when we

started comedy we were low-level open micers you were up there killing it. Yeah there's a couple years. I was just trying to tell I couldn't remember. With confidence. I couldn't remember you had this joke when I started you were it was I was to watch you do it a helium it was uh About getting doughnuts the woman getting yeah Dude at the woman that worked at Duncan done I remember sitting there being like man this guy's got it. I do not I do not belong in this room This guy is cooking buddy. We love you. Thank you for coming in down with us. Thank you for having me Are you kidding me and and because and you guys sent a car to pick me up

I was a Toyota Corolla, but it was a black SUV it was I mean driver can be hard a little bit. Where you Jesus? It was incredible You're just saying this really quick before we get into it, but you are a very good host. You've always been thank you And you know even when we were doing at the Raven mm-hmm you would always you're just so good at that and like your text. It's like do you come to this? Thank you. And even when we were doing it, the Raven, you're just so good at that. And your text, it's like, do you want to come do this? We'll send you a car.

Like, yes. What? What happened? I love how the car blew him away. That's great. How else would you have gotten up here? I would have driven to the train station, taken the train, gotten fussy while I was waiting for the train.

Then tried to find my way to an Uber. A cab would have tried to scam me. And then I was waiting for the train. Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah. Then tried to like find my way to an Uber. A cab would have tried to scam me. And then I would have finally gotten here. And I would have been sweaty and just like miffed. That's it. So... Just to break the fourth wall a little bit, he did get lost getting here. When I said, where are you at?

And you said, I don't know. I was like, what? I'm in New York City. The one, the one, cool. Because you said 45. And the one thing said 15-45. But it was like, hello or whatever. And I was like, I don't know. So I got a hot dog. And yeah. Give us the backstory. We know you're a Westchester kid, right? Well, yeah. So I actually like, Berwyn, Pennsylvania. Okay. Grew up. And then so it was part of that whole T E different East town What? You said that like we're at the zoning

I didn't understand the two words. What's a true different East town triphid? I don't know different true different. Yeah, that's a town I don't know it's true different true different. Yeah, that's a town true different well Hifidated with East true different East town Yes, okay. Yeah, is that there siamensin? What's the name of that town? Okay, all right all right, so it's a town in is outside of Berwyn or near Berwyn Berwyn is encompassed whatever the greater te area Growing up your dad did have a tire shop right that's right. Yeah, he had Valley Forge Auto, right? I think he started in 79. Okay, and then

That that lasted I don't know. I want to say like 20 some odd years Uh-huh, and then he was kind of headed towards either like bankruptcy or sell it sold it and then started a new one Same exact type of thing. Yeah. Yeah gotcha move and what's your mom do when you were growing up? Well, my mom was stayed home mom she was okay and your dad was doing okay. He was yeah, it was like It was a weird type of okay like There was good years and bad years like any entrepreneur would you got you wouldn't be considered the main line would you are definitely you are the Yeah, which isn't just so you folks not so real nice part of Philadelphia Oh, but okay. Yeah old school money, too

Tire money out there And you guys were in a single-family home, yes Oh, single family? No, no, no, parents together. No, no, no. Oh, oh, oh. Uh, yes, it was detached. Dude. Yeah, we were broke, so what? Yeah. So, yeah, same one.

No, it was a standalone, like a house, normal house. It wasn't a condo or a townhouse or an apartment. That is correct. It was a, uh, just your family lived in it. Yes. And man, Gerby's folds under questioning. And he does. Well, no, family lived in it. Yes. And Gervies folds under questioning. He does. Well, no, I didn't know.

Single family household? Is that what you said? Single family home is a regular home. Is what describes the dwelling. I understand that, but how would you describe a single parent home? Yeah, single parent home. Fold. And brothers and sisters?

Older brother. One older brother. Yep. How far And brothers and sisters? Older brother. One older brother. Yep. How far apart are you guys? Two years. Two years. That's great. Yep.

OK. So you guys were together all through elementary school, high school, all that stuff. Yes. Fantastic. And what was the sports growing up? Baseball. Baseball?

Yep. At what position? Well, I didn't make it that far. I got hit by a pitch. To get a position? I missed the day they were handing out jerseys I got hit with a fly ball coming out of the dugout that was it yeah well no so I made it so I made it to kid pitch but that's like the majors

it was huge and then my dad scared me kid pitches as I was a very nervous Fat kid and I was okay with t-ball and coach pitch even but that kid pitch We didn't have coach pitch when I was playing against adults. Yeah, you went from t-ball right to kid pitch Oh really? Yeah, this is the early 80s. No the kid pitch and then my dad Like got me a special helmet to protect my face So that like it had this like big plastic guard on it. I couldn't really see that Well at all I feel like a Mandalorian out there playing Wait why why did he Had been no no I that was the first time that I got hit in the head yes

I was like a bottle head with that thing on I think it was just generally like cautious about my health and well-being first time that I got hit in the head. Yes, I was like a bottlehead with that. I think it was just generally like cautious about my health and well-being because the arthritis was when I was two. Got your blouse syndrome. I'm saying like the actual thing. Gotcha. So you had that already. So they wanted to be careful. Right. Gotcha. Were the kids brutal about that helmet in school? Yeah. Well, that was the they tease you about the helmet. No. Oh, the helmet. Yeah. Yeah. No. Yeah. about that helmet in school yeah well that was do they tease you know oh the

helmet yeah yeah no yeah well you know the story about like when I was in so like no my everybody was nice except for like the kid with Down syndrome who was the one that picked really yeah cuz I was like really short. My growth was stunted. And then he didn't, you know. He wasn't the nicest to you. Right. But anyway, is this public school or private school? Public. Public. Where did you go? Conestoga. Conestoga. Oh, I know Conestoga. OK. Very nice.

So hold on. So did you stop playing after kid pitch? Was that the end of the baseball career? Yeah, I got two seasons in. You got two seasons in. I was actually and this is an ominous thing to say ahead of like throwing out a first pitch, but I was a decent pitcher because because I threw so slow that it was like hard to time up. Got you. And it is like, oh, you're like rookie of the year, the floater.

Let them have it. But I was decent. OK, strike. Yeah. All right. Huh. Hmm. What was the family vacation like growing up? Where are you going? There were no real family vacations. We did one time to Disney World. It was like a disaster Sure, they usually are yeah, there's so much pressure on you guys didn't go down to shore anything like that in the summer Uh, well, we did have a family friend that had a shore house. So we would go there Karen Carole and What what? What beat out of. Ocean City.

OK. And was there extended family in the in the in the mainline area like cousins and stuff like that around? Not in the mainline. No, they were Marysville and then also Bucks County. OK. So you did see an extended family. Yes. OK. Yeah. My mom's side is Catholic. OK. Sounds like you're upset about that. No, it's just a lot of cousins. What's your dad's side? Jewish.

Really? And then my mom converted. No kidding? I didn't know that. Did you have a bar mitzvah? I did, yeah. No way. Really?

What kind of cash did you pull in for that? What kind of cash? I think it was like $3,000 or $4,000. It did go to my dog's surgery. Scooby needed it like go to my dog surgery Fuck All right, where okay, let's take a little slow where was the where was the event where was this You said obviously at the synagogue and then where was the party do you remember? I don't remember the synagogue synagogue was Temple Brichaheim or however you... Okay.

All right, so family... Can I say or reject something here? Please. Like the last time we did a Hanukkah thing, as a family, my friend Dhruv, who's Indian, was over and he... You had an Indian guy over for Hanukkah? Yeah, he was just over and we were like lighting the candles

and we were singing And he started laughing But that was the last time we ever did Humiliated all of us He gets up and walks out like just dying laughing I can't He gets up and walks out like just dying laughing. I can't Alright, so the family pet was a dog. That's right Any other weird pets growing up any turtles any frogs anything like that? Thanks goldfish goldfish. Yeah, what kind of dog was it? She was a mutt. She was a mutt

Yeah, so part German Shepherd part lab name scooby scooby Okay, I because it was a girl. That's what copyright infringement Couldn't get the rights in one Hannah Barbera coming after All right, so then around your 13th birthday the dog got sick It was it was after that like the money was taken put into a savings account right and then Accessed for the surgery for the dog Wow, how come you had to pay for it? Yeah, it was a lean year there listen if you had to pay for it? Must have been one of the lean years at the tire shop. It was a lean year. They were like, listen, if you want to save the dog. He was like, well, Steve, we'll pay it back.

They never do. They never pay it back. No, my dad has paid that back. Okay. Thousands of times over. Man, that is wild. Saved the dog? Yeah. How long did the dog live for after that? She lived until she was 15. Okay. The dog is pretty good.

Not bad. Pretty good surgery. Okay. Alright. Fair enough. What was the first job? Well, first job was like cleaning bathrooms at my dad's shop, but like the first job outside of that was at a bakery, a dishwasher. Okay. That lasted like two days, and then my cousin calling quit. Wait, what? I lasted two days, and then my cousin called and quit. Wait, what? I lasted two days and then I had my cousin call

and quit. Your cousin called in for you. Did he act like, hey, this is Steve, I quit. No, he just said Steve quits. Steve has retained me as an employment counselor. To whom it may concern. Yeah. Consider this Steven's resignation. Yeah. All right. How are your grades in school? Were you a good student? Uh, not not especially. Started Peggy as a good student.

I know a lot of people do. Yeah. Smart, smart guy. I'm not. No. Uh, separate directions. Barely. I'm terrible at directions. I'm terrible at a lot of things, but no, it wasn't. Wasn't particularly good. S.E.T.'s 1040 was like four digits. That's all right. That's the that's the barometer here. Terrible with directions. I'm terrible a lot of things, but no it wasn't wasn't particularly good SATs 1040 was like four digits. All right, that's the best the barometer here. That's very good

Yeah, did you get in the college you go to college? I did I went to George Washington GW failed out. Okay, and then went to Delco Community college. Yeah, and then dropped out and then then from there, I was like, well, I told my dad, I was like, I'll just come work for you. And he was like, absolutely not. Why? He was like, you got to be in school if you're going to work for me. So then I was like, well, then we had a big, you know, tiff. I went to work for the post office for a while.

What'd you do there? Like, deliver mail. Really? Yeah. What? I say while. It was probably about like six months. Yeah, you're calling quit for me So you were in like the Union? That's like a serious job I didn't make it in the I was was called like a casual carrier before before kid bitch. Yeah, yeah

So you were like a flex sounds like a page on Craigslist so you'd have to go so that was the problem though You couldn't like you didn't get the same route every day so So every every day you were filling in and you didn't like that. You know, you want to go with directions. Yeah. Just squinting, trying to find my way through. And I'll start straight. Did you ever could you have a mail car? Yeah, some days. No. On the other side. Yeah.

And you had to go for training. And that was yeah. What did you use the other days? You didn't have it. Your feet like, you know, it was in Berwyn. It's like some of our walking routes. Some of our driving. Gotcha. Yeah. But you had the uniform and everything. Yeah. How old were you at this time? 20, maybe 20, 21. Jesus. That's a young post.

That's a young post. Look like a little kid running around. Yeah. Yeah. That's nice. Big hat on. Covered his eyes. Okay. Huh. I didn't see that on. OK, huh. I didn't see that coming. Now didn't see that one. What was the high school mascot? Bulldog.

Pretty good. Let's go back into the house a little bit. The bedroom growing up, you and your brother each had your own rooms. After a certain age, we like I think till like five. Did you guys move? We did move. OK.

Second grade. Yep. In second grade, you moved to the house that they that you grew up in. Right. Night. What were you guys in before that house? Single single family single family house. A family but not as nice as the second one. That was an upgrade. Yeah. Gotcha.

And then so in your room, what were the posters on the wall? What were you what were you rocking with? I had a Hooters calendar. Whoa. Yes. OK. How did you get that? Do you remember at Hooters at Hooters? Yeah. Oh, well, did you guys go to Hooters calendar whoa yes okay how'd you get that you remember at Hooters yeah well did you guys go with the Hooters a lot what not my but the family friend like the Ocean City family yeah yeah yeah he was wait what hold on what are you talking about he would be like yeah you know at this point I'm probably like

13 or something okay go to Hooters with him yeah just you and him or you him and your brother? Sometimes my cousin. It wasn't always my brother. I don't remember. It wasn't like all the time, but it was just like one of those things. But this guy would take different groups of boys to Hooters? No, no, no. Easy. Listen. No. You're painting it the wrong way. Yeah. Listen, I'm painting it as I see it. Well, whatever it is, that is what it was.

Did he ever take you on any other activity? well whatever it is that that is what it was we ever take in any other activity He thought it was hilarious that I was like you know big boob guy and whatever it was are you a big boob guy? No, but you know I'm saying I'm saying boobs like boobs are cool at 13 I'm using boobs interchangeably with like attractive women, okay? You know yes, all right, so right. So that was the first, so go ahead. You were going. The floor is yours. Everybody's trying to make this guy out to be like a pedophile.

I'm on your side. I'm trying to stop that. He's a sweet, I love him. And yeah, but do you remember the first boobs you ever saw? I do. It was 16 candles. And you? Uh, not a couple weeks ago.

That's a nice gal. Not specifically. I remember I remember seeing a boob on scrambled television in Sea Isle. Yeah, that was the first one that I remember being like, like locked in on. But mine was under siege, which we saw. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. The stripper. Yep. Yeah. That's a pretty good one.

That's a real good one. Wow. All right. So you got the Hooters calendar. Kippy Express VPN. You ain't lying, big dog. How to protect yourself on that worldwide web. Yes. Gang if you're going online with that Express VPN it's like going into Not having a passcode in your phone. Which by the way, you don't want people getting your private information It's insanity. You're making it so easy for someone to get in there and take all your stuff. Don't let that happen Get Express VPN and take care of yourself Yes, every time you can you connect to an un-crypted networking cafes hotels airport, etc

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know if it's got a urinary tract infection or something like that the crystals are gonna change color. Yeah. listen if you love your cat, which I know you do start using pretty litter. I'm telling you right now It's the absolute best. Yeah, pretty litterships free right to your door. It's non-toxic tech pet safe and household friendly Plus it's low dust controls odor and lasts up to one month, baby Right now you can save 20% on your first order and get a free cat toy at pretty litter dot com slash garbage That's pretty litter dot com slash garbage to save 20% on your first order and get a free cat toy pretty litter dot com Slash garbage one more time pretty litter cannot detect every feline health issue or prevent or diagnose diseases a Diagnose can only come from a licensed veterinarian course terms and conditions apply see the site for details do it Any sports figures any bands? Um It was definitely stuff like that.

I just the Hooters was the most predominant because you are right under the halogen light. And you could. Gotcha. Big Seahawks fan growing up because I love the logo. Gotcha. OK. It was definitely some Seahawks stuff on there. You want to Eagles man? I mean, not as much because it was really Tecmo Super Bowl was like the game on Nintendo.

My brother, the Eagles and I was this gotcha Did you have that game console in your room? No, was there a TV in your room there was a TV yeah, not bad yeah cable no not for a while Yeah, yeah never did What was the family car family car like there was a Dodge Caravan? What was the family car family car like there was a Dodge Caravan? Acura pretty good Igera mm-hmm and then my dad drove a pickup truck for a while like a really old beat-up Nissan And then once things started getting better he got an infinity whoa

This is probably somewhere in the 90s. This is Wow yeah, and Finney the 90s Yeah, yeah, they had a great upbringing they had the dude from I can't think of his name in the 90s. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I had a great upbringing. They had the dude from, um, I can't think of his name. He's a British actor. He was in, uh, Gary Glen Ross. He did the commercial for Infinity and they used to have the silver ball that they rolled down the the the hood.

In the thing. Yes. Whoa. Infinity, man. They were killing. That's a great. Yeah. It was just a Nissan. It was just Nissan. In the same company.

It's not make some sharp, though. Pretty good. That's the one point for Mr. Durbin. Yeah. Yeah. Um, what were the snacks in the house growing up? We know you're a bit of a picky eater. Yeah. And was that I assume that was true as a child. Sure. So, yeah, just like Dunkaroos and like all. Dunkaroos in a house. Yeah.

That's Dunkaroos and sugar cereal in the house. Definitely. Well, really, because nobody knew it was like that much sugar. Yeah. Uh huh. What was your favorite favorite toast crunch? Yeah, it was. Cinnamon toast crunch. Yeah. Would you buy your lunch at school or would you bring your lunch? No, it was I was treated like a king. My mom my mom would make she was she would a lot of times drop it Off she'd go to the bagel factory. Whoa. Yeah. Yeah, wait a minute the bagel factory. Yeah, goals for lunch Yeah, good with what but what in it?

butter and jelly and then some sliced American cheese On the side, yeah Wait, so okay. So how would you eat that? some sliced American cheese on the side. On the side. Yeah. Wait, so, OK. So how would you eat that? What like a king? What do you mean? Eat the slices by itself and then have the bagel with the butter and jelly? I know I combine. You put them on. No, I'm sorry.

Don't need to be that aggressive. All right. I didn't take. If you think that's aggressive. But I would eat maybe two bites now that thinking about it of the bagel and then I put some cheese in there in Yeah, but I wouldn't piggyback to cheese like a chaser. Yes. I have respect. Oh, it's just high school Is this elementary school high school? Wow? You were getting your lunch dropped off You were getting your lunch dropped off. So how did I?

How did she get it to you with it like cuz you'd have to like drop it off at the office or something cuz like Did you you can't like just run out and meet your mom out front? Yeah? Yeah, she would drop it off and they say it wasn't every day, but it was like I would say the majority of days Every day looking back. Yeah, uh You'd have to go you have to go to the office and pick it up Yeah, we're just walking to the office and it would be where it always was no shit like a brief Like who's are you to the hotel good for you Steve and what about breakfast in the morning would they make you breakfast? Yeah, my mom would make breakfast. What are we talking about like eggs? I guess Yeah, that's crazy

Hey, can I get a tissue just got a horse? I need to yeah, no worries. Oh laugh my nose runs Take your time. All right, so keep going. Oh, look at that Ryan diesel. Come on in there D. Thank you Good pal Ryan D. Thank you very much. I don't want to Okay, and how did you get to school most days I don't want to look. OK, and how did you get to school most days? High school, high school, either bus or then when my brother was old enough to drive, he drove. And then you eventually start driving when you got your license.

Yeah. OK. And what was your first car? It was my brother's car, which was an Acura. The Acura. Your brother had the Acura. He had the Acura. The was it the Integra? You said the Integra before. Is that the one you were talking about? Maybe he had the Integra. My mom had the threeura, the was it the intake? You said the Integra before. Is that the one you were talking about? Maybe he had the Integra. My mom had the three point five RL.

Double. Yeah. We're doing all right. Yeah. Yeah. At this point, yes. Things are going things are going well. It makes you wonder why the vacations were so light. We hated them. You hated them. Yeah. Why? It's not big travelers. They get lost in directions are bad.

The whole family Yeah, just not Not not we don't Do it I? Don't know we don't enjoy I mean my dad would my dad would go on trips for like tire dealers would put you out on trips Right so you would sometimes go on those uh-huh like a cruise my mom would. And then, yeah, it's just, I'm not a big fan of traveling. You're a homebody. I am.

I'm an ice cat. Did you guys have a pool at the house? No. No. So what would you be doing in the summer? Just hanging out with friends, riding your bike? Yeah, it would be like, we'd always have a summer job. And then, yeah, just hanging out.

What kind of bike did you have? It wasn't. It was like whatever. 3.5 RL. Yeah, it was like whatever was at the track. So we of bike did you have? It wasn't. It was like a 3.5 RL. Yeah, it was like whatever was at the Trek. So we weren't like big bikers at the time. Gotcha. OK. All right.

Everything interesting. Can't get a read on Mr. Gerben over here. What was the first concert you ever went to? Probably Robert Randolph. It was when I was in college. Robert Randolph. He's a jam band guy. I was trying to fit in.

I left early. I got to get out of his parking. It's horrible. Yeah, Robert Randolph. It was like Robert Randolph in the family band. Yes, Robert Randolph in the family band. Okay, never heard of him. What were you trying to fit in with the crowd?

I'm just kidding. He's extremely talented. I like people on my floor. Oh College. Yeah, gotcha. Yeah, so they were all going you like I'll go. Yeah, okay. Very nice Who is the most famous person you met as a kid? Like you ever meet anybody could have been like Jim Gardner You know the Philly fanatic or any did you ever meet anybody of any been like Jim Gardner or something like that, you know, the Philly Fanatic or any. Did you ever meet anybody of any sort of even local notoriety at any point? Uh, I don't think so. I'd say Philly Fanatic.

Philly Fanatic at some point. OK, shut up. The fanatic loved them. Incredible. Best best ever do it. Growing up, the butter in the house. Did you guys keep it in the fridge or keep it on the counter? Your fridge and it was Margeron. It was more your Margeron family. You remember the brand? No. OK.

Could have been country croc. No, it was not promised. Why is that? Because my friend, Emery, had country crack. And I remember going over to his house and just being like, I don't like this. Your trash, Emery. Oh, is the buttercup one? OK. Whatever had the buttercup on it. I got you. Right. Yeah, that was promise. Because we I did. I had to, whatever had the buttercup on I got you right yeah, that was promise I did I decide the similar thing. I think that was promise what about the mayonnaise in the house growing up Hellman's or Miracle Whip?

I don't know we're not big mayonnaise people was any nice cooking My mom was she a good cook no no okay? What would be a typical dinner and did you guys always have dinner together? Do you have family dinners like every night? No not always together? I would just be like overcooked chicken or like fish stick over cooked okay? And you didn't like mayo no like mayo now no tuna fish no chicken salad no potato salad no coleslaw No It's I don't like that. I don't like that. don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I

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don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I

don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don a thing. You didn't get sugar cereal growing up, really? Yeah, I did. You did? Yeah, we never got sugar cereal. What's going on? You got sugar cereal. You got soda at dinner. Yeah. Cola, Coke Coke. No kidding.

Yeah. How many of them are you allowed to have? One a day. One a day. Yeah. OK. At least there's some governorship there. Huh. Hmm. All right. Hey, at the high school, you got the butter. Ever go on spring break? No, no. Do you guys have a garage? Yes. Was there a refrigerator in that garage?

Growing up now? Now is now. Yes. What's in there? Beers, sodas? I think water bottles. OK. Could you park a car in the garage or was it filled with stuff? You can park a car in the garage there. It was also filled with stuff. Okay Hmm I like it no pool you have a slip and slide. Yes, you did was that broken out in the summer I Shouldn't say we had it. We have it now Slip and slide now why well cuz there's a lot of like young children of a family okay your dad like to get wet and wild

Okay, huh do you remember any of your aol screen names uh yeah taz man 89 Guys a guy's a pure devil, huh? No 89. Well. I love the Taz like test me devil. Yeah, that was oh yes. I'm sorry yeah, okay, and then Brian blades He was number 89 on the Seahawks so it was 89. Yeah, okay That's pretty sick dude I'm a Tasman. That's pretty sick, dude. Thanks. The Tasman. That's too funny. Did you go to your prom?

No. No. Because again, that was, you know, growth stunted in high school. So 5'2", senior year. Gotcha. 5'2", senior year. When did you grow then? Freshman year of college. I mean, you really sprout. Are you 6'? Close to it. Yeah. Yeah. Of normal height.

Huh. No prom. Did you go to senior week? No. No? Hmm. All right. Do you know karate? No, but I took jujitsu as an adult for like a month and then my neck got injured from somebody from an instructor trying to show me a baseball choke or something. A baseball choke. And I never went back. He's got the helmet on.

You know what, can I interject to this? Please. This is also like getting hit in the head with that baseball, which is like, there are certain people, like I don't understand, let's say UFC fighters, they get knocked out and I'll do it again. And I'm the type that's like, if I get hurt once, I'll never, you're done. You're out.

I'm not good, like, touching an oven and it's hot, I'm not going near an oven. Quick learner. Yeah. I'm with it. I wouldn't, wait, I agreed with that very quickly. I wouldn't say I'm a quick learner, but you know what I mean, that's just how I am.

I'm actually a slow learner. I feel like I'm talking to a lawyer and I don't know what, I don't know what side he's on. He's talking for himself, for not for himself. Are you a Gatorade man? I am flavor Yellow yellow traditional, and you said the color trash trash Had you never ever own a switchblade or a butterfly knife I wanted to wasn't allowed to You never did that on the low you never had a hidden one. No, I had a hidden pellet gun fool talk about a Tasman With with yet it was loaded and all that stuff that you used it. Yeah, I use a shot cans

Where'd you get that from? It was like a place in Brumel Huh, how old were you a little straw purchase high school? Yeah, no kid. Where would you shoot the cans the garage in the garage yeah yeah sweep up the pellet remains shit you go through phases you didn't go through a pellet gun phase oh yeah of course I wasn't shooting in the house okay huh all right go ahead don't please never wore a pair of jankos I presume don't even know what they are you don't know what jankos are janko jeans with the big pockets mean Talk about main line

They were like the real big pockets. I was like, you know skaters and freaks wore them No, I guess I've never had to explain jankos as somebody and I'm not good at it now that I think about it You guys are the same age. So how old are you? I'm gonna be 42 tomorrow. Yeah Thanks. Happy birthday buddy? Yeah, thanks. Oh Can you swim I can? Well, I did not sound calm well then so with my hands. It's tough to like gotcha, but but but it's like put me in a pool I'm fine. I'm not gonna like drown. How about the ocean? I had to get rescued once

I had to get rescued once It was just like something where I guess I wasn't getting the sure as fast as the lifeguard wanted me to You know there was like a riptide or something everybody in so It well I wasn't in a state of panic or anything. I thought I was making good progress But next thing I know a guy was there's like get on how old were you? But next thing I know, a guy was there is like, get on. How old were you? 14, 15, just down the shore, Jersey Shore. Yeah. Ocean City. Yeah. Yeah. A couple of times at the Ocean City beach.

I thought I was getting got. That was what does that mean? Oh, you mean like I was getting swept out. Yeah, because that's that. That's a short we grew up growing on. And man, every once in a while, that'd be a little rough down there. I don't know why. It's the ocean, Mother Nature. Yeah. When you do swim, do you wear a shirt?

No. OK. Good man. Do you wear underwear under your bathing suit? No. OK. What was the first time you got your passport? Three years ago, four years ago. OK. Where were you going? I was just the potential of going to Canada for, I think, something comedy related. Have you been out of the country? No, never no kidding. Well, what was the first time you went on an airplane?

As a kid going to Disney World, okay. Yeah, not a big flyer, right? No, don't like it Don't like it trying to get better at it. Okay. Yeah, what did what steps are you taking to get better doing it a lot? Okay, yes kind of sink or swim type thing yeah, and lorazepam go This episode brought to you by Merc everybody Huh were you ever really into Harry Potter? No, I did read the first book just to kind of see what was all about not really I respect it Uh-huh, but I'm not any true art. Yeah, yeah, I don't I don't get into like wizards and dragons and all that

I get it. Yeah Hmm Very interesting. Where you living now? I live in Westchester, PA. Gotcha. You got your own place I do apartment or house is a house not you buy it or rent it bought it. No It's a recent purchase. It's a 2020 purchase very nice. Yeah. All for you. It's a recent purchase. It's a 2020 purchase. Very nice. Yeah.

All right. Got him while getting is good. I got it. I was very fortunate. Yeah. Interest rates were low. They were nice. Two six eight.

Yeah. There you go. Never had anybody drop their fucking APR. Well, I mean, it's an exciting. It's better to mine. Yeah. I didn't know. Also, you know, if you're going to follow it up, you know,

I was just going to be. I don't know. Go ahead. No. Hey, what's what's the credit score? I don't know also. You know if you're gonna follow it up Yeah, I was just gonna be go ahead. No. Hey, what's it? What's the credit score? I don't know what my credit score is but it was it was good good not to get a 2.68. Yeah What's the car now? What are you whipping around in Toyota Tacoma? It's a truck. It's a two-door it's all-wheel drive but four cylinder Four cylinder. It's like a weed whacker

Well, whatever it is. It's a two-stroke Zero to 16 a week. How's that getting up a hill? And the only reason I'm so detailed about that is because like when I was get my dad made such a sting He's like see you know you gotta get you know all wheel drive. Yeah, so that's what happened You got to get all wheel drive. So that's what happened. That's funny. A pool at the house now? No, no. You furnish the whole thing yourself. Got everything in there? Yeah. All right.

Any big purchase that you're like very proud of in aside from the home, obviously, like TV, a bar, something where you're like, this is what I want. I like the country club joining the country club. Gotcha. Yeah. That's very big country club joining the country club. Gotcha. Yeah. Uh huh. That's very big. Country club, man. That's right. Well, you have lunch at the at the clubhouse. Oh, occasionally. Yeah. Yeah.

Sit and have lunch. You have to spend a certain amount, right? Right. Now, what do you do? You do. But this one, you can do like a deal, which I did do, where it's like you spend a certain amount of money and then you get free carts because they come to come to charge you every time you take a cart. Sure. And then you have no food minimum.

But that is a thing at country clubs. You have to like buy a certain amount of food. Gotcha. You get yours is on carts. Yeah. You prefer to walk or do you prefer to drive? To drive. OK. Like the cart. Yes. Like a gentleman. And this summer, this summer, I would assume you have a little time to play and all that stuff.

Right. Yep. You're chilling. I'm chilling. When was the last time you had a day job? About a year ago, that was it. Yeah, nice. Almost a year to the day. Yeah, it was July 1 I love it. Yeah, wow. You got the summer to play a little golf. It's it's exciting What is the day to day now with the success of tires and everything like that? The day to day it's I mean mean there's not a lot going on I'll like wake up and stretch okay, and Try to get more mobility

And then make myself breakfast sure what's breakfast looking like it's eggs and oatmeal Good and then I go to the country club my workout You go to the country car bees you go play or you go this. Do you go to the country club? Big derbies. Do you go play or do you go hit the range? What's the... A little bit. It's a social. Yeah.

Country clubs are a big social... They are social. It's a very big... You got to navigate it. There's the kind of the... There's a cool crowd there. There's a little bit of, you know... Yeah.

You got to find where you fit in. It's good. Do you have people you like playing with there? I do. Yeah. Dan, Rob, hey guys. Just specific... Shout with there? I do yeah Just specific just What's that just specific golf friends? I could see us getting past just golf. That's how well it's going Hey, go to prom. Did you meet them there? Yeah. Yeah, that's a big thing

Yeah, it is a big thing. My social life has exploded since Life has exploded since Life is exploded Now will you hang out what's okay? Do you initiate the text of hey? Do you look into a what you want to play this way is a weekly thing is it a daily thing? No, I mean, there's no rhyme or is sometimes you know Okay, yeah, let me ask you this on a serious... I'm very intrigued by it, that's all. This episode is brought to you by Dzone.

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show. Yeah. Isn't it wild that like, you know, a year ago you quit your job, you got your own home, member at a country club, you got the summer off. Utterly insane. Yeah. It's utterly insane. And that's, you know, I've talked you got the summer off. Utterly insane. Yeah, it's utterly insane. And that's you know, I've talked about this on other podcasts. I just hate to like do one and not bring it up. Like what John and Shane have done for me. It's just unreal. John taking me into every project he's worked on.

Believe it in me. Shane, as you all know, just funded the entire first season. Could have done anything else. Mm-hmm did this and Yeah, I'm as lucky as they come truly as lucky as they come. Yeah, two of the absolute best Fucking just the coolest love them both. It's unbelievable and McKeever just how good he is at it crazy and you were so good So good stop it. It's you know, it's so fun to watch you in that and that was so hard to keep a straight face. We're working to you know, with you in that room. You're so good. Yeah, we had a good time, buddy. I love you so much.

That's just the point of that was to say how happy we are for you and how crazy it is. Yeah, it's fucking. Oh, thanks. It's great to see you, man. Gerby's getting up having his eggs and oatmeal. Calling up the boys hitting the links. That's an accurate description. having his eggs and oatmeal calling up the boys hitting the links it makes me feel bad like why i don't know but i am experiencing joy what do you mean you're at your bust to your ass for what are you talking about tires is like 11 years in the making yeah yeah you know what i mean it's not like yeah you know um what uh what kind of golf clubs do you have? Do you really want me to go a hundred percent?

Was this I'm gonna need I'm gonna need a price check on was this a big purchase uh? By now standards At the time yeah, I mean I would say it's probably about 1800 hours worth of golf clubs But it's it's what I love. Yeah. What kind of sticks you got? I got a Strix on, you know, irons. And then I have on the way a Bette Nardi putter. This is very high class, because Andrew Santino hooked me up

with Sam Bette Nardi of Bette Nardi. I mean, that Santino, that guy is fucking locked in. He's locked in. He's so connected. Niled in. Beautiful. It's like a piece of art fine. He's gonna. He's locked. He's so connected. I was beautiful It's like a piece of art there. He's like TMZ that fucking guy. Yeah. Yes, huh that was so much fun Get like you know so that's great. What kind of bed you got at the house now you got a king you got a queen I've got a king and I have a Sattva rx whoa

Very nice you like a good night's sleep. I try to yeah, you thought you have a TV in the room No, I have I have a Device that like an arm that clips onto the headboard that then puts my iPhone right here That's like what grandmother's can yeah, or like it's a weird sight I said she'd a picture, but I also have so with So the reason I say like blouse syndrome is because like Arthur I think the classification is it's arthritis, but it also affects the eyes, okay, so the right eye I have cataract surgery. I don't have so the contact is like really really strong

So I take that out at night. I can't see mm-hmm. So I have like a very very strong lens so I sit there with like that wrapped to my head and Then I also a lens wrapped here. Yeah, yeah Yeah, okay, well I have like the mask Shit you might as well be in a pot really Hey, if somebody broke in they would just slowly back out of the room Yeah, I need to I mean I would I want to be rude and ass But I know I would love to say it this guy's in the this guy's fucking in the matrix

well, cuz and then one of the eyes is blacked out because this has a Wait one of the you you have one of your eyes blacked out when you watch TV yes I had a wrinkle in this retina so they they had put a lens replacement in but then I don't really see out of like the center of the visions all distorted so those headphones those clay dude you just aged a hundred years putting those glass oh now I know your dad looked like in the 90s like you're calling a Redding Phillies game right now. Two opt two now. Sorry this might take me a while. No take your time. It's okay. Huh. Oh man. Do you currently have a working printer at the apartment? Yes. At the house. You do? Yeah. It's got a scanner.

Because I had it, you know, once you start, you know, moving on up. Uh huh. You gotta get a printer. You gotta get an $89 printer. Dang it. I think I deleted it. That's OK. All right. Sorry, guys. No, all good. Wow. What was the last time you were at a strip club? Been a long time. A long time. Yeah. You remember where it was? Uh, it was either Delilah's or.

Shout out to Delilah's. The the under 21 one. Show and tell. Show and tell. Yep. Jersey. No, show and tell show and tell yep in Jersey No, it's the one over the over the bridge just in Jersey. I don't know I thought that was showing those are the only two that I had ever ever went to ever partook in okay Any fireworks at the house currently definitely not no no fireworks In the bathroom are you uh are you a soap man?

Are you a bar of soap man are you a body wash guy? Bar soap. And I have a like, I think if that was invented second, everybody would be that. Bar soap. Yeah. Really? What an interesting take.

I don't disagree. Right. It's so much more convenient. Everything's better about it. Are you bar on skin or do you use a washcloth or a loofah? Bar on skin. And what is the bar? With lotion. Dove. You're Dove man. You wash bar on skin or you use a washcloth or a loofah? Bar on skin. And what is the bar? With lotion. Dove,

you're Dove man. You wash your hair every time you shower? Yes. Huh. With the bar. You wash with the bar. I respect it, but I wouldn't say that publicly. That's pretty good. You soap in your hair? I'm with them. I got it. I'm Team Gerby on this one. Do you use any conditioner and anything like that? No, I use a dial for my face Specifically bar. I do have a little like pump like a hand with the dial. Yeah something about it That's got to dry your skin. I put no there's dial face like is it dial face. No, no, it's hand

Doing hand. I am. Yeah, is it yellow? Is it yellow on the 90? Yeah, what the fuck? But then I but I don't know why I had like an acne breakout one time and then I think somebody told me about that And then I tried it it worked. It probably dries your face out. Yeah. Yeah, but then I do lotion afterwards. No wonder you got iPod. That's bad news. That stuff will get you. Okay. All right.

Will you brush your teeth in the shower? No. Will you pee in there? Sure. All the time? Or if you you pee in there? Sure. All the time? Or if you have to? If I have to.

OK. Yeah, I don't force it, but I don't. No, I got you. His hands just sound like he's making up an alibi. Were you at the mall on Tuesday night? Sure. Maybe. I don't know.

Do you want me to be at the mall? OK. And what do we have? The car is OK. The car is the Tacoma? What air freshener do you have in there now? No air for no way. We're all the way you eat in the car Occasionally, but I'm not a I try not to are you a fast food guy? I'm a Chipotle guy do a bowl or a burrito I'll do either

Okay, you don't discriminate. Yeah. Yeah, but what about traditional Mickey D's Wendy's anything like that? No, no nothing. No, wow gentlemen any cologne No, I don't wear it regularly. I do have it. What kind? Narcisco Rivera or something a picture for the Yankees But Narcisco Rivera. Sounds like a farm pitcher from Cuba. It makes me feel very masculine. He's wearing Keith's glasses.

I look over. It's a different guy. It's wearing Keith Hernandez. Narcisco Rodriguez. Oh, there you go. That wasn't too bad. All right. And what's the deodorant?

Deodorant is Gillette. Mm. The gel? Cool the gel, yeah. Wow. Really, why? What doesant? Deodorant is Gillette. Mm hmm. The gel. The gel. Yeah. Wow. Really? Why? What does that mean? That's old school stuff. Very early 2000s. What do you use?

I use a Dove product. I bought some last night. Interesting. H? I use Old Spice. A little bit of salami. Old Spice straight deodorant, no antiperspirant. Really? Yeah. Do you get... As a bigger guy, I gotta say, he smells pretty, he smells good 99% of the time. Yeah,

he smells great, but I don't get like the, the, I don't get the hoagie, uh, BO smell. Never have. Right, but you don't, but you, have you ever tried the antiperspirant? Yeah, I don't like it. And you don't like it? No, cuz it, it, it, it works too well. Does that make sense? Yeah, yeah, it does. Yeah. It's coming out of other places. Got it. Yeah. I'm making that up. I have no idea. Uh, okay. And he braces Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's coming out of other places got it. Yeah Okay, any braces as a kid yep headgear no no headgear, okay

Not bad you like roller coasters. No no no no like that was the last time you're on a roller coaster The closest thing was splash mountain. I tried to climb out. We got a jumper. They lied to me about it. And they that was like, who's they? My parents. What do you mean they lied to you? They they were like, it's not a big drop or whatever. Oh, yeah.

And then once we started like coming around and you're like, click, click, click. I was like, what is this? And I tried to get out and they're like, you're fine. You're fine. You're fine. Click, click, click. You're going to crawl out of the roller like you're fine you're fine you're fine click click click we'll get out of the roller coaster it's flash mount whoo a lot of auto traders around the house growing up uh no my dad was not a big car guy in the sense like

he he started that because my my grandfather was working on a construction equipment out of that shop then he went under my dad made a deal with the bank that was like I'll take it over and we'll so then he started auto repair just out of like Necessity okay. Hmm Will you dance at a wedding Yeah Really? Yeah, I am stunned by that. How do you feel? Are you think you're a solid dancer?

You're just like I don't care. I'm throwing an admission of the wind having a good time. I think if I Choreograph something you're doing what you're doing set pieces What are you talking about the top hold on I will find this when I go to rewatch this where I go. I think I choreographed you go what? Well, so I did. Some people like little number might be like familiar with it. Like I did lip sync contests in who now?

Oh, well, I had talked about like Shane's, OK, in high school. And so like I did a Michael Jackson thing. So is this like is this is there all you're doing this with a wink for fun? Or is it you're dead serious on it? I took it dead. You said lip sync contest. Yeah in high school. Yeah, they would have them regularly Yeah, well they were they at school is the annual. Yeah, okay. He's in the big auditorium, right? We're doing a big room. We ain't talking no auxiliary flex. Oh my god. Yeah every year Yeah, it was it was the same number every time no so like the first year I did Michael Jackson, and then that was what song black or white okay?

And then that I've tried to talk about this on stage. It doesn't work, but they've at the time So this is when I was like developing cataracts and like having vision, right? so I was like missing a lot of school and then my French teacher was failing me and a lot of school and then my French teacher was failing me and so then my dad went in like Uncle Buck style like flipped out uh-huh and then she as like sort of an olive branch to me mm-hmm was like I heard great things about that Michael Jackson dance you did do you want to do it in front of the French class and I wait what did she know that sounds insane everybody like hears this that sounds like oh yeah oh she was trying to get you whatever it wasn't it

was like she was making the peace with, she was trying to get you, whatever. It wasn't. It was like she was making the peace with me. She was trying to like. I was just going, man, that was a different time. Yeah. It's like, hey, you're bad at French, you're missing a lot of school. Can you dance? Wait, she heard about your performance at the annual lip sync contest in the auditorium.

That's right. That's how Huma and Kever started working together. And then she was like, hey, I heard you're really good at that. Why don't you come in and do it in front of the class and it'll bring your grade up. Not bring my grade up. It was like because her whole thing was, you know, she was like, he did the lip sync contest. Uh huh. And my mom was like, because he likes that and he doesn't

care about French. OK, so in that sort of making it up, that's what she offered. Thinking it was a good idea. And I get it right. And it was gonna be a good idea. And I thought it was gonna be a good idea. It was the most awkward thing I've ever done. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was the most awkward thing I've ever done.

You remember Black or White on the CD had the entire intro? Sure. That played. Oh, God. I just stood there and then there's a rap interlude and I just stood there and you could hear my grunts. I couldn't moonwalk because there's half a carpet

It was so That was that then the second year I did Madonna that was really because I'd never worn a dress before And well I did this like move where I got down. It was like like you had worn a dress for the performance. Yeah Oh, I'm sorry. I mean I was doing Madonna sure What was the reaction from the from the high school crowd? So this like is my mom's most mortifying mo cuz some guy like kid behind her was like ooh That's a guy and so it was it was really uncomfortable that chicks it And then but I bounced back I

Did poverty the next year and I like you should have done something a little more of the time Well, no cuz I and I like stuffed my like fat suit with stuff. So as I was saying I was like pulling out all That's fun. Yeah, it's got a bit to it. Yeah, that's great And then I did Lord of the Dance or whatever that was It's worse every no that guy good that did that got rave reviews So What okay, okay, what made you do that were you doing that at home or was that like What do you mean what made me do that? I thought was a good idea

Desired to be liked yeah, okay, so how does that translate into a wedding where you well you'll have something coordinated? Oh, so you were like do you think you're good dancer? I'm like if I'm dancing at a wedding no if I had something cool if it was a show Yeah, probably not But I feel like somebody could choreograph dance moves for me And I could do it you'd be like that's not as bad as I thought it was gonna look Can you moonwalk? Not well. Goddamn Corp.

Could you better as a kid? As a kid I could a little bit better, yeah. That's pretty good. Yeah. Moonwalking. Can you whistle? Uh, not well, no. Can you?

Mmm, okay. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. I s- How many suits do you own? Uh, well, technically two now, cause Shane told me to buy a tux. He was like we bought a tux Well, he was like we should wear tuxes on

Chef oh yeah, that's funny So I was like sure and I bought one and then before I took it to Taylor cuz I have very narrow shoulders So I like Taylor might I text I was like are we really doing this he's like no I was just trying to make you wear tux. But the tux set you back. That was like twelve hundred dollars. Yeah. Well, but I have a business account now, and that was on the business. Gentlemen.

I like that. I like that. Who's the Karen cell phone provider? Verizon. Not bad. Have you ever bought a pair of sketchers? Definitely. Yes. Sorry. I just I love their boots. Will you eat over the sink? Will you like have a sandwich? My favorite place to eat. Is that right? Yeah.

I don't like sitting and eating. No kidding. I can't stand it. And I won't sit for it. I die, you know. I was't sit for it. I die you know What's so wrong with it? What the what I was trying to think about that recently Because I was having lunch with my accountant and I was like I'm gonna stand if you don't mind Man these Hollywood types. I tell you where we have a lunch with them the hotel. Okay. This was in Austin Okay, but anyway, I I am disgusting when I eat in so

far as like I I pack my cheeks full of food. I've tried to change this. Uh huh. Anybody described that eating that way? Yeah, it's very it's disgusting. Are you a biting sip man? Are you a biting in a sip sip a drink? I do sip a lot. Okay.

But I really I like I pack it in there and then I kind of like masticated a lot and so it's it's hard to do that and have a conversation with So What's your fourth quarter looking like? So I don't like doing it so at home when you have your oatmeal and your eggs in the morning Is that standing up a lot of standing nice? Yeah moving around. I like that too, man Yeah, I like that too. I respect that hmm

Are we you cooking at the house a good amount or you're ordering in cooking cooking Yeah, what about what other stuff what stuff will you not touch like a seafood? I? Try to eat it because of the protein and all that but I'm just not a big fan. What about oysters? No sushi No, no, it's basically just like chicken and then Variations of like cheese and bread. I'm right there with you. Really? Yeah. That's the main... No kidding. Yeah. What about pizza?

Of course pizza. All right. You like a chicken parm? Yeah, I'll go there. That's not like a normal thing, because I do try and stay away from the fried stuff. Gotcha. It's pretty good.

Huh. Do you have a favorite frozen pizza growing up? Was there one in the house? We just did like Elio's. Did Elio's? Okay. Have you ever smoked a black and mild? No. You ever smoke a cigarette? Uh, yeah. He taps his runny nose.

I got a runny nose! It just always runs. Anytime I smile it just triggers a thing in the mouth. That was very, you know, theatrical is good. Well you know you like a cocktail. You like a cocktail. you have a drink. I do, I'm trying to cut back, yeah. Right. Beers mostly? No, it would be like vodka on the rocks. A vodka on the rocks? You have a go-to brand.

Smirnoff. Smirnoff on the rocks. Whoa, that is old school. Very used to it. Do you have a bar set up at the house? No. No, okay. Are your shoes off in the house at your house? No. No. Okay. Huh. Are your shoes off in the house at your house?

No. Really? Very anti that. Really? Yeah. If I came over, if you came over my house and I was like, you gotta take your shoes off, that would. I go get ready for foot powder everywhere. You wait. You want to lose your appetite? You're a foot powder man? Yeah. What are you getting? Foot powder everywhere. What the Lojerman AF? I put it in all my, you know, just like. Every day? Every day. I just squirt it in before I. You mean the anti-athlete's foot? Yeah. Why, do you have athlete's foot? No, but I think the medication that I'm on makes me fungal prone. So like a fashion prone.

Welcome back to Are You Fungal Prone? So I just, I, you know, come to my base. As a precaution. plus shoes are comfortable sure you know if you had like a nice rug or whatever I'd be like I get it no you're not taking you're not putting your fucking powdery feet on my mom my nice rug uh okay do you enjoy the movie for brothers by any chance I don't know it

don't know it huh how much cash do you have on you right now I have $100 cuz that's gonna go to the driver You have to tip them. It's included. Oh, yeah, he's gonna get it $100 bill or no, what's the what are the denomination? We figure it out it's for for toys and then four fives, okay It's for for 20s and then four fives, okay? That's a bad that is a bad way to slip a guy wet soggy money. Yeah, I'll just go. Thank you

Why is there powder already for the foot powder? Sorry for your backseat sir? If I you don't mind me, I don't know what that picked me up. Yeah, I was like a Cadillac SUV or something nice great driver We didn't say a word to each other. Yeah of that great temperature I love it when you get in and they have headphones in you go There's not even going to be an attempt of a conversation What credit cards are you banging with now you got an American Express? Yeah for the business right and then my personal is a visa that's like an Amazon thing Gotcha any discover cards? No.

Do I ever have a diner's club? No. Who's cutting the hair these days? Flowby. No. Yeah. I got really bad hair. I have a... it's like a very... anyway, it just is what it is. I use a Flowby.

You're doing... I've never... Yeah. You might be the most unique human being I've ever met. Have you tried a Flowby? No my my sister-in-law's father Was one of the inventors of the flow and is it a newer one? There's not left over from the 80s. It's a Amazon still sells them. I got it. I got it about year and a half ago, I think and I

Gotta tell you if they're looking for a spokesperson I Gotta tell you if they're looking for a spokesperson Hit up the kid yeah a couple of bars open a flow be get you looking right? Oh, they gotta include like earplugs cuz it's loud You wouldn't believe had how how many? Solutions have you exhausted where you know you're like you know what fuck it I'm getting a flow be where you run into a lot of barbers or just when you're with a barber a long time and what was the I went through a phase where I was cutting my hair okay and then I went to a barber and then it was just like yeah I'm gonna

try this okay I respect that flow be I don't even that was one of the first questions have you ever used the flow being and no one's ever said yes Well sales did skyrocket after 2020 because George Clooney mentioned. He does use one That's right Clooney does cut his own hair Gerbys Huh if when you're Gotham will you will you chat up the beverage cart girl no okay? I really don't like that I Assume you don't like your wrist assume you don't like deviled eggs I don't Will you put your hand on the wall when you're peeing at a urinal no okay you remember the first time you had Nutella Yeah I think it was like Definitely post-college

How do you feel about you like not my favorite no no okay? Well you order a drink with no ice. Like, I'll do a Diet Coke with no ice. No. Well, you take leftovers from the restaurant? To make the person not feel like, yeah, no, sometimes. I went through a phase where I'd be like, I felt like it was a nice thing to do to take it.

Now, I don't feel that. So, no. Really? You don't like it? No. You don't like taking it home and having it the next day or later on that night? It would really depend on the food, I think. Huh. Yeah. Interesting.

How do you pronounce the product that Crayola makes? Crayon. Gentlemen. Huh. Is it Wikipedia? What's the other way? I say crown, he says crayon. Crayon.

Crayon. Pack of crayons. Pack of crayons. Interesting. Yeah. Is it Wikipedia or Wikipedia? Wikipedia. Wikipedia? Wikipedia Wikipedia What's the grocery store you're going to giant you go to a giant?

Respectable love it very nice. Have you ever seriously tried the beatbox? Yes, really? Dressing up as Madonna. Oh, yeah, there was this kid Paul John in my middle school would do this thing where you were like Should I try to do it yeah I'm not entertaining. Yeah myself haven't done this in years. He just hits it fucking perfectly. It's all over open though. Oh my god I got it. It was like, it was like a lot of like, I don't know I don't know something stung me that was I forgot you delivered mail he's been on such a journey putting flowers by mailbox crazy are you allergic to anything not that I know of I'm shot

huh will you get cash back when you go to like CVS or whatever? No, no, not a cash back man. That's good. That's good. Oh, well, you sneak snacks into a movie theater. No, not anymore. No, you did as a kid. Sure. Yeah. Do you like to go to the movies? No, no. Why not?

Question. I just like. I like to get up and move around. You know, I really locked in. to get up move around. I you know I really locked in stand in there. Yeah Huh do you know how to tie a tie? Yeah, yeah, you could get it done. Yeah, have you ever written your name in wet cement? No, no have you ever gone ghost hunting no ever claimed to see a ghost no what about UFOs ever see UFO no You have a go to karaoke song. You got to. No, I don't. I haven't done in a while. I was planning on doing if we if

we had karaoke the rap party, I was going to do be our guest from the the Beauty and the Beast. Beauty and the Beast. Yeah. Whoa. That's I love it. I love it. If we came over to the house right now, we come over to the house. You offer us water. Yeah. What are you giving us? Is it out of the tap? Is it a Brita? Is it a bottle? It's it's out of the fridge. OK.

But you'd also have a spin drift option. Oh, I subscribe and save via Amazon. Yeah. Got that credit card. That's right. So what else do you subscribe and save to? Can't just be the spin drift cat litter large trash bags Guys moving a lot of garbage keep having to remember to try and unsubscribe Contractor bags yeah

Who's yeah, I'm sorry. No, please who's cleaning the house. Are you doing it yourself? Yeah, okay, no Mate no clean people coming in? No. Single guy, figure, maybe. Uh, well, my god, I have a girlfriend. She does clean a lot, but I am thinking about getting a maid service. Gotcha. Does she live there too with you, your lady? No. Okay. Nice. I like it. Where'd you meet her if you don't mind me asking? I actually worked at helium. I worked at helium. No kidding. Wow. Okay. Have you ever had

a manicure or pedicure? No. How do you feel about a massage? I feel good. You'll get it. You'll get a massage. Yeah, okay. I've had one in a very long time Okay, you'll do some chicken wings. You like a chicken wing. No, why bones? I don't like the bones. Oh Don't like bone-in chicken. No, no kidding I should have saw that come you do boneless if you go somewhere or now the fried is the right. Yeah, I always look for something else. I assume you don't need a chicken thigh. No, I but I do at Chipotle.

That's right. Yeah, that's right. Wow. OK. If you get takeout, you know, or delivery to the house, whatever. Will you plate that food or do you eat out of the container it comes in? It truly depends on the food. Hit me with the hit me with the rules. Han Dynasty. You get the dandan noodles. Those are going in a bowl.

She got to. But the Cuban style tofu that just stays in the plastic. Guys get a set of ridiculous. Now, if they say the lady is over with you, your your girls over with you and you guys do order Han Dynasty or whatever and you got it coming over. Will you sit at the kitchen table and eat that or will you sit in the couch in front of the TV? Kitchen table, kitchen table and sit and have like a yeah,

like a normal adult meal. Yes. It's pretty good. I mean, listen, there's a couple. There's a couple of things, but how do you clear, you know, let's say you're you're you're out and you have to, you know, not to be crude. You have to do a number two and you have to use a public restroom. How are you cleaning that? Are you cleaning the toilet? Are you waiting to get home? What are you doing in that situation? We're really trying to wait till we get home.

That's really there's a lot that goes into making sure we're not even in that situation. Smart. Yeah. The calculated man. Yeah. I couldn't see. Of course, some would say choreographed. I couldn't see Gerby's big on away games. Yeah. No, not at all. Any magnets on the fridge at the house? I Philly's schedule. Philly's schedule. That's good. That's good. Listen, you know, this isn't. Any old time photos in your past like you and the family go get an old time photo? My brother and I. Yeah. Your old time photos in your past. Like you and the family go get an old time photo. My brother and I. Yeah. Your brother and you. All right. Well, you get dressed in front of the dryer,

like keep the clothes in the dryer and just get dressed there. Yeah. OK. You got a washer and dryer, obviously, and it's a house. Yeah. Yep. You have a fabric softener. Definitely. What do you got? Bounce dryer sheets. Yes. What's a detergent? Tide tried to go gain because my cousin loves gain. Couldn't do it. This guy is an American. Bounce and tide. None of that. None of that New Age shit.

Listen, you know, I don't this is I'm. What are you leaning? I mean, I think he's classy. He's not trash. There's a couple of screwball things in there. Trashy. There's a couple of screwball things in there. I'm trashy. Yeah, I'm trashy. The flow B's not great.

Oh, he's not great. I, you know, and I'm shuffling through my lips sinking competitions. I don't think the Kennedys are doing it. Very true. No. Are you reading it all? Do you have anything anymore? I'm dumb anymore. I feel so stupid over the past like eight years. I feel like I...

He's got that whole Morpheus set up to go to bed. Yeah. If you're at the gas station, will you use the squeegee to clean anything but the windshield of the car? No. You ever sat through a timeshare pitch? No. Will you stack the plates at a restaurant when you're eating? When I'm done? Yeah. Absolutely.

That's not great though. When was the last time you were in a hot tub? Why is that not great? That's trashy. It's trashy to like... I do it too. I do it too. I get it all set up. Everybody says it's trashy. It's not... I'm not saying it's not nice and respectable. Yeah. But it's like... If you go to a fine dining restaurant, you're not you know you're not clacking the plates if it's really fine dining

I might not Mm-hmm, but you washing your fruit at the house Like I just run out of the tap. Okay. Yeah, you like the roto chicken. No Rotisserie chicken. Oh Cuz got the bones. Yeah What do you do for dessert? I Like that. I have these barbells that are like protein bars and tastes like candy and I yeah Or yeah, so like frozen yogurt gotcha playing it tight. Yeah got a little body on them

How do you know how do you feel about milk you drink milk definitely really your lactate How do you feel about milk? You drink milk? Definitely. Really? You're a milk man? Yeah, yeah. Lactaid. Okay. Because the milk does make me fart like crazy. I've never seen someone go, yeah, milk, in caveat with the lactaid. Because it's gotta be. Otherwise, it is just horrific. You have lactaid. I don't even really know what that is. It's just...

Is it real milk? I think so. I think it's... Get on... It It's not it was introduced as a milk. Oh, yeah. Whatever it is, it ain't 2% lactate is considered real milk. Considered. Yeah. Yeah. That's milk is milk. Yeah. And you're doing the grocery store. Yeah. Do you have a weekly schedule? No.

There's a very specific item. So when they're depleted, you go and give me a couple of them. I'm a very specific man. So I'm sure. So egg whites and give me a couple of them. I'm a very specific man So I'm not sure so eggs egg whites monster shredder mozzarella You're buying egg white like the be like the yeah already in the thing like you pour the egg whites Yeah, because I put an egg in and then I pour egg whites now you crack that shell. Yep Where do you put that show you put it back in the carton or in the trash or trash trash? It's gotta be trash clogged a couple of garbage a couple sinks Yeah. With that, what's the what's the shredded mozzarella for?

The eggs. Yeah. Yeah. OK. What brand of that? Giant brand. Giant brand shredded moths. Now, do you wash that moth? You're supposed to wash that shred. Oh, you are? No, you're not. Yeah.

Never. Not once. What? You're supposed to wash shredded cheese. Hold on. Sorry. This just in because they put a powder on. They put a chemical on it so it doesn't stick together right and People say they wash that off. I don't do it. It's generally not can Not recommended it can lead to Big cheese is soggy funky what Clumpy mess, but people wash it to remove the anti caking agents. Yeah, yeah got agents on it

Good, but do you and your immediate family have any photographs of where you're all wearing the same thing like a picture you guys down? the shore while wearing white Unfortunately, yes, that is my sister-in-law that that forced that situation Love you Christine, and I actually do like the shirt that she got me I still wear it from yeah, I do have a cycle I was gonna wear today cuz I was just watching like a lot of different ones you had a Hawaiian one I was like I should wear my Hawaiian one case. He's got his on and I was like nah All right the kids trash

He walks in both worlds. I'll give them that first door ladies and gentlemen mr. Steve Gerber's you guys so much for having me. 100% trash. Tires is currently filming season one and two on Netflix. Do yourself a favor. Check it out. Everybody's in it. It's absolutely fantastic. I can't thank you enough for having me

be a part of it. I can't thank enough for doing it. We love you so much, buddy. Anything else you want the folks out to know? Anything got coming up? No. See you at the got see you out on the way. That's mister Gerben for you right there.

Kippy, what do you got for him? Uh guys, we're on the road fall and winter tour tickets are moving. Get them the