Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Strict Dress Code! w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Episode Date: January 12, 2026

Are You Garbage is back with Kevin Ryan and H. Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. It's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG 2025 Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored By: Brunt Workwear: Get $10 Off at BRUNT with code GARBAGE at https://www.bruntworkwear.com/GARBAGE Shopify: Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Gang, it's a brand new year, and the boys are heading back out on the road for that back on the block tour. Come on out and see us, stand-up comedy, and then you get to ask your garbage questions to me and the old Kipparino. Yeah, baby, it's a good time. We got Austin, Texas, Tampa, Florida, Chicago, Illinois, Bloomington, Indiana, Nashville, Tennessee, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, and Cleveland, Ohio. These shows are going to sell out. Get your ticket. Don't snooze. You're going to lose. We'll see you there, love this. Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage. show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now,

here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there and welcome back. Everybody's favorite podcast. This is R.U. Garbage. It's that little show we sit there with your favorite comedians and we find that at the group to be classy. Yeah. Or just a big old piece of trash. Trash, trash. I'm your host, Aitchfolley, coming at you. on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tootie's in the new edition. She's off to the theater tonight. Sheen Yun. I think it's Shen. I don't know what it is. I can get my eyes on this. Uh-huh. They say it's a spectacle. Is that right? China before communism. Really? That's what it's all about. Whoa. What are they doing? I don't know. You tell me offensive coordinator.

That the real exes and who's on this, huh? Blue 42. My coast is coming to actually across the table. This is what we call a family episode, just the boys, the bozos, and their insults, apparently. Uh-huh. He is the CEO of Are You Garbage? He is an international businessman of my best pal in the whole wide world, unfortunately. Give it up for JJ, Kevin, James, Ryan. What up, gang? Shout out T.

As always, please make sure you're right with you, subscribe on iTunes, full video available on YouTube. Full video available over there on Spotify. Boys are climbing the friggin' charts. Listen, we're the little pod they could, baby. We're a bootstrapped operation. Now look at us. Number what? What were we last week?

27. 87. We were number 87 in all podcast on spot, all podcasts. Crazy. You know why? Why? We were dropping episodes during the break when nobody else was. That's when we fucking moved, Daddy.

We get in there like bedbugs. Everybody else is off in the fucking Caribbean, not the boys. Well, you know, they say a good defense is a good offense. That's what I tell my guys. And I hit their showers. And the boys on the road, New Year, same back on the block. We got new cities coming. Tickets are fucking moving, gang.

We got Chicago. We got Austin. I mean, these shows are more than halfway sold out and we're months away. You got Austin. You got Chicago. You got Tampa, which we're going to be the whole filming down there at Tampa and side splinters. So get them diggy wiki.

Porn's legal down here, too. It's weird. It is. No, I'm in Florida. Yeah, it is. You shut the fuck up. It could be. Nah, because I got a VPN and I switched it to Miami and that still denied me.

No, but that's when you're consuming, talking about production. Luke? I think it's legal everywhere. Is it? This is Shen Yun, baby. This is pre-communism. Why's Patty giving me such a hard time? He didn't pull the right permit.

God damn teamster staring at me. I'm trying to chub one up. Guy with a boo, Mike. I can't do this. You're the new Bonnie Blue? There's a bunch of dudes waiting in ski masks. Oh. Good Lord.

Hello, Wellington. Cup of tea for the big fella. I got some man. I'm a bozo, right? What? Okay. Guys, we got to take a walk by and say hi to Luke at the corner office. I don't like, can the OC stop showering with the team?

You're getting in the showers. Yeah, keep calling for showers. I blew it. I'm out. Good thing you went over to the non-comedian. Thanks for doing that. Two weeks off a vacation, too. This guy's still a London time.

I'm on mush. Mushy peas. Ooh, don't get me started. Well, Doc. You fucked up. I'm a bozo. Yeah. I'm a bozo, right?

Yeah. Well, what? I don't know. You do. Yeah. I'm not as, I mean, I'm better than you in most. Most socially. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, as you know, me and my broad and the lady and the baby did a nice little road. Your family. My family did a road trip from Florida back home. Mulin. Mueling. Yeah. Uh-huh.

You've been all in the diapers. That's the way Henry Hill did it. Listen, that ain't that fucking, that ain't Sima-Lack. Sima smack. Luke. God damn it, what I tell you. Ha, ha, ha. Hey, good one, Boston.

So one of our stops was the wonderful Baltimore. Baltimore City. B-town. B-town. Right? Now we're there. So we had drove, we were down in Orlando. So I didn't really,

I was expected to be by a pool and hanging out. So I didn't really have any, like, nice formal wear. Okay. Right? And a nice clothes. You didn't bring dinner clothes. Nah, one t-shirts. I thought you were supposed to go to the STX, the state cap.

Yeah, you can wear a t-shirt to that. Like a nice t-shirt? You know what do we doing? You can. Sure. You got a chain on the outside. Flash and some ice. I was going to get you a chain.

I got one. No, a real one. I have a real one. No, you do not. That's fake gold. Oh, it's not. Moody gold, as the gypsies call it. What?

I don't know. It was a snatch. Okay. Chuck full of moody gold. Make sure that's not racist. Chat GPT says that is. So we get, so it's a long arduous journey, right? We're staying in a hotel, jumping fucking shitty motel,

Disa Motel, Shitty Motel. We get to Baltimore. Uh-huh. And I go, you know what? We've been kind of wearing the same clothes because we didn't have cold weather clothes. Right. Right. So I had one pair of pants and one hoodie.

And same with my wife. So we've been like just kind of, we just needed a change. So we went to a polo outlet. You did. Stopped at a polo outlet. Whole family got fucking fleeced out. Oh, my God. In a polo out.

You couldn't tell me shit. You were on the Ralph Lauren line instead. All of us, dude. All of us got a fucking polo out. Those cardboard shoes. They sell a pen station. This thing's stink. I picked them up a couple of times.

Got out of the N. White fashions. Yeah. So I did, I bought a hoodie. I bought a hoodie and then whatever. So we. What a nice hoodie to go out to dinner? No, we weren't going out to dinner at this time.

Uh-huh. We just needed a first thing of clothing. I need a hoodie. What are you guys on the run? What's the kind of like that? Well, I mean, what do we do? What are we doing? What colored? She'd dye her hair.

She cut it. I cut her hair and, like, born identity. Put a mustache on the baby? It's 32. Talk to a veteran like that? You're drunk. So we decide, you know, we get to Baltimore. You know what?

There's a nice steakhouse that I get my eyes on. Capital. No. Okay. It's called the Ruxston Steakhouse. Oh, I know it. How do you know it? I know it.

How do you know it? I know to Ruxden. How? Huh? What exactly? I know the family. The Ruxden family? Yes.

Okay. So we go. Maryland Ruxtons. The Ruxtons for Maryland. Yes. The steak family. Yes. That's a big steak money.

It's a lot of steak money. So we go four point four stars. Nice. I got a pair of jeans on. Wait, you bring junior? Yeah. I call. I make sure they accommodate kids.

They say, yeah, kids of all ages are welcome. So you got him parked next to the table like he's a Caesar salad? They make it at the table. No, he's in a high chair. No way. We welcome kids of all ages and we'll provide high chair. Give him a little something? He did the waggoo taste and did.

Munch on that, a little fuckhead. So. You probably looks cute in a little high chair. We get in there, right? You know, I know how to operate in these situations. You've been out to eat with me in a nice joint. Yeah. I got a pair of jeans on, right?

I've got a pair of jeans on. Uh-huh. Your Ralph Rollo hoodie. No, no hoodie. I got a nice brand new t-shirt. Okay. Right? Nice t-shirt.

Black tea or like navy blue t-shirt. Nice. and I bought a it was 50% off a polo puffer like you know like one of those like not like a big puff but like one of the things that those rich guys wear You know who's wearing them a lot these days?

Who? Matt Dillon and fucking Ben Stiller going into the Knicks games. Sure. Something like that. That Knicks line up everybody going in shut up. Hey a little jelly Get out of here. A jelly Bullshit. So everybody in Nick

I'm a little upset. Shut up to I'm a little, you know, I'm like, I'm taking a baby to a nice restaurant Sunday. It's like early. She's crying? It's like six. No, he was great. It was like six something. It's all lose it.

So it's not that late, right? Also, I'm not late, you know, so it's like six something. You're not there at 10 when the, it's popping. When the dealers are in there. You know what I mean? Yeah. So I'm like, I wouldn't go in. We're going to, it says all kids are welcome.

There was no, like, age. So I go, okay. We get there. They're super accommodating. Now, I'm in my. jeans I got jeans on, like dark jeans. I look like I could go in, I've worn worse to restaurants in New York. You know what I mean?

I've worn a bathing suit. Sure. So I'm like, I got a brand new nice t-shirt on, dark pair of jeans, a clean Nike, clean Jordans. Okay. I look all right. Okay. And I got my, I got my polo puffer on. You know what I mean?

Yeah. So I roll in. It's a jacket. Jacket. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Winter coat. But like light. What did that set you back?

I was 50% off, not paying. I forget what it was. Is it one of the, like the quilted ones or whatever? Yeah, like the thin, the thin lines. Yeah, pretty, you know, something like his dad would wear. You know what I mean? That's like, I felt like a, I felt like a businessman. Like, on the same owner of watching his kid's tee ball game.

His dad probably didn't buy it in an outlet. Hey, you don't know. You know, you know. Yeah, he doesn't strike me as a. Demsies love a deal. Do they? They do. I bet they do.

So. That was harsh. I go in and, uh, they're super accommodating. Like, hey, you want to park your stroller behind? the hostess desk, you know, I go, oh, yeah, that'd be great to get it up front with the good ones. Making sure it's facing out, too, and get the fuck out of here. You're rolling in a steakhouse with a stroller. Mm-hmm.

Listen, they said they accommodate kids, right? It's okay. So they're super nice. Hey, he ain't mine. He's my nephew. They're super nice to go, hey, we have this four top here, like, on the edge, or we can put you, like, one of the bigger tables with, like, the booze. Yeah, they got to. They got to kiss your ass.

Why? I don't know, because it's probably going to write a bad review. I went in there with my Uber-sized baby He's in a barber chair So Couldn't have been more Nice sweet

We go sit down They get him The high chair I plop him in the high chair To broad sits down I You know I'm fucking I got my puffer

I take my puffer off I put it on the chair No co-check No co-check It's okay but I go outside We got our stuff Was there a co-check? No not that I saw

and they didn't offer them there wasn't there wasn't they might have not wear a normal co-check okay so i take my puffer off i put it on the big nice like corporate stakehouse chairs you know you're fucking in you got the armrest yeah you're great it's great so you put yours in the other chair i put mine in the other chair with behind you with his it wouldn't fit behind because i think like the armrest or something like that so not a big boy no more uh hang mine on two I put everything. Let that dry. Got it on the bar.

It's covering the espresso machine. Now, I'm like, you know, we're people of like, we don't belong in nice places. Us? Yes. Yes. Right? So I walk in there and I'm a little hesitant. I'm like, I'm like, I'm going to bring a baby.

And then I look over, there's a woman at the bar at the bar section of the restaurant. Nice bar, great night, beautiful bar. She's sitting there in a Ravens jersey. It's a Sunday night. She's in a Ravens jersey. Fair enough. Right, so I go, oh, this is, this is casgy-wagy. We're hanging out.

I sit down. Take your shoes off. Take my puffer off. Hostess comes over, says, sir, all gentlemen are required to wear a shirt with a collar. I said, what the fuck? You couldn't have called me at the host thing? Embarrassed me in front of my son? That's a bitch.

What about fucking Lamar Jackson over there? sucking down a fucking wedge salad You can say shit to her I go This girl's tail gain I know what Ray Lewis looks like And that ain't Ray Lewis bitch So I go

I go she goes You can put your jacket back on And I got For a nice sweaty meal A sweat And you think it looks like I'm on a ski lift It's cricket It can't be eating steak

Like that No I mean So she goes We do have jackets for we have jackets That's a nice joint She goes

We have jackets for situations And I went I don't know what I go I was embarrassed Derely embarrassed But I go You got something in a members only You had something from a polo outlet

I go I'll take the jacket Uh huh Now it's a bit of a People clock this around me Table full of fucking They have a little one for the baby That'd be cute

Yeah I go this fucking guy I think he might have had a collar of something. Gentleman, as God or something like that. There's a table of four cool-ass, well-dressed, rich black dudes behind me that see this go down. And I heard just a, like they felt, dude, because I felt, I heard them. It just, it sucked. We got your coat, huh, officer?

Pumpkin, yeah. So they, so then she comes back over, and I got to put it on and try it on. And now I'm a bigger guy. I've been a bigger. Do they have one of those three-sided mirrors? Put your fat on that.

I hate those things. And an Italian guy checking my inseam. Now I got to roll the dice on this blazer. Probably got birdie sauce on it. There's stain on it. Stain on it for sure. I go, but then I'm going with this fucking ladies. Do you have to walk around like a rental car?

Stain was here. I got my own insurance. Thank you very. much that's how they get you not paying with an amic um wow so they couldn't have said something i but i got to be yeah but so i got to try it on in the fucking dining room after this fucking hoopla and then one of the black dudes and it looked pretty he looks pretty good did he yeah that's nice hit me with baby first or baby first all right hey there i am right that's your jacket that's my jacket that's a nice joint not nice joint so then but

But hit the one from the, it looks pretty good. And I got to be honest with you, a blazer and T-shirt. You look like you're lost. Like someone just handed you that baby. He's a heavy baby. Look at that, though. That looks pretty good. That looks like you work there.

I know. It punch in on it. Wow. That looks pretty good. I got a sideways one time. I did a profile thing. The only thing that I looked, then I looked like I really belong. Let's start doing blazers.

Blazers and T-shirts like we could like the 80s bring that back all right I'm in you're in Yeah let's go let's go I got to tell you I sat there and went I feel pretty good I feel nice I feel like I belong is embarrassing can we do stand up in those like we got spots in the city Sure you think looking at idiot though if you're up there bombing with a blazer and the problem with been there Yeah been so bad you ain't got a fucking blazer right the problem with that is you don't You don't get a dry cleaned every time so like by the 20th way You need like one for every day and you got to stay because they they don't fat guys don't wear blazers as well What do you think guys in the fucking after?

Nobody was in there. I was a feet. That was a lady's room. You look like an alien. I'm here to meet your president. The sleeves are a little short though. A little short. Functionality sleeves are a little short.

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Now, back to the show. Back to the show. But now what would you have, what would you have taken the jacket? Knowingly one was going to fit. Say that. So like there's, you know. Yeah, of course.

Just for the fun of it. I mean, yeah, absolutely. We'll walk that with that shit, too. I know. I was thinking about it. If it would have had a cool crest on it. They got you, though. Yeah, they got the crap.

Probably bang you out, 500 bucks for that thing. But I didn't think that happened anymore. That was like 1980 shit. Go into a nice place. I mean, nice place the girl's got the fucking jersey on. And I get that it... She's at the bar. Come on, though.

You could have went to the bar. Come on. Come on. The bar. Dude, a football. Yeah, listen. You're in Baltimore. She's got a Ravens jersey on.

You're allowing a football jersey in your establishment and then tell me I have to wear a collar. It's a football town. Go birds. I'm with them on that. What? Yeah, listen. That's crazy, dude. You show up with your on-the-run family with your fucking.

rent a minivan parked outside. They knew you were fucking skitching out of Florida. Sure. But you gotta give me. Probably hitchhiked there. Dude, a jersey. I get that it's game day. Not a lady.

That's worse. No, it's not. Sexy. It was not. She looked like to be that is right, Lewis. She looked like a nose tackle. She was sucking back schlitz at the bar out of a can, okay? What?

Out of a can. He said that out of her hand. No. But the guys, the cool guys next to he gave you the thumbs up. I think they were just realized I was in a bad spot and needed this. They were also like your son's very, the guy's like, because he, at one point, the baby threw his pacifier at their table. Hey, you like that.

Not as, it just went under one of their chairs and they got it. And the guy's like, I bring my two kids here all the time. They're screamers. This kid's actually really good. You know, he's, he's. He's very well behaved or he's doing he's doing well because I was like, I'm sorry The thumbs up from cool black dudes. Yeah, but I felt like I felt like their son as well.

I felt like here's four distinct wish gentlemen all here on a Sunday night talking business what portfolios. Now what if they would have picked up? I'm here in a borrowed jacket with stains on it. What if they would have picked up your check? They wouldn't have wanted to. It was expensive. It was expensive.

You got the jacket, but you fucking. Well, that's then I. overcompensated. Lucas Patucus. Pulling up the menu. All right. House made tater tots and caviore. What the hell is that I'm about?

You want to run down on what we did? I think I could guess. Okay, go for it. Appetizers-wise, you could have done the sliders. Sometimes you'll go in for that steak tart tar, but you get a little squirrely with it. I don't. She does. I don't.

We didn't do an app. You didn't do an app. You just went entrees. Luke, next page. Oh, wait. apologize go up we did something no we did crab cocktail we did a soup i don't know where the soup is a shirt a soup lobster bisque you're dirt bad what do you mean butter nut lobster bisk that's too much yeah if i'm telling you if i didn't over 22 bucks if i didn't overcompensate before you got to a joint like

if i didn't overcompensate on the order oh because i was embarrassed about the jacket you're dead wrong guy I went fucking... I like to purchase your chandelier, please. Dude, I went... Are you taking investors at any point? It was embarrassing. My wife was embarrassed. My wife goes, do you prefer the soup or the salad or whatever?

And the guy's like, I like the salad. I go, we're doing both. We're getting... I was so obtuse. It was like my card got declined and I doubled it. First time having a balsamic vinaigrette, eh, sir? Don't skim me on a Don't skit me on a croutons either

Man, I've asked for extra croutons on a salad You got to look They knew I did I just don't belong in those joints You don't I just don't How many cards you put that on? What?

How many cards did you put that on? Well, earlier in the day my debit card got declined I think because I was traveling I was moving through so many states Yeah, no shit They fucking shut me down So that's what happens when they get. We got shut down at the polo outlet.

You did. I mean, that's what I guess. You're Kevin Ryan? Once they steal a credit card, you end up at the polo outlet getting fucking. When you really think about it, two people in a baby look real suspicious. You really do. Yeah. You're up to something.

You're moving quick. Yeah. You're on a. No jacket. Yeah. Yeah. Can you say that we were here since five o'clock? I make some calls

Behind the desk All the people You'll remember me right I got a facial remember Nice guy came in Didn't have a jacket I did a landline And a laminate machine

Nice have a Xerox machine Here Can you put this with your outgoing mail please Um Yeah it was But the Jordans were okay. Listen, there was a guy in a hoodie behind me.

Valenciauga hoodie. Might have been knocked off. I don't know. But that's like you're in a hoodie. Listen, I'm aware. I didn't roll up in a fucking shorts and a tank top. I looked nice. I had her fooled at the hostess stand until the shirt came off.

Then all of a sudden there's these formalities of a collar, no collar. Was the lady at the host stand? Yes, she's the hostess. was the one that grabbed me. So she saw you, sat you, and then hit you with that. Yeah. Now, I wonder if you would have been like, I'm not wearing my jacket while I'll eat. I'll get soup on it.

I just sit. And I'm going to order because I have the money. I'm financially sound. Well, if you want to lose a customer that's going to order soup and salad, go right ahead. We were going to split a dessert. We didn't. You didn't? No.

How many Manhattan's did you have? I had one. Kevin. And an IPA. And an IPA. An India pale ale. It pairs well with the wagu taste thing we did. Is that what you did?

Uh-huh. Jesus. Three ounces of all four of our exceptional wagoe cuts. They did not like it when I asked it for well done. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Yeah. What? Mm-hmm.

I would blur that out when I tell you I was embarrassed I had to over order I was so embarrassed I was so embarrassed holy shit uh huh that wagoo shit is it's a fucking scam

people uh it's not that good it was good nadine had never had it three ounces of steak that's fucking criminal man no it's 12 ounces whatever I mean that's significant it's four times the difference it's 12 ounces but giving somebody of a three-ounce steak. That's not a steak. That's a tidbit. It's a burn end. It's sure,

which I do alone. Give me the end to anything. You know who's doing them now? Arbys. They're just doing cups of meat. Man, we are tidbits. We are devolved. You don't need a jacket in there. You couldn't have no shoes on. Probably hire you. Yeah. Wow, look at you. Man, talk about that dichotomy of trash. in class. Mm-hmm. Huh. How confident were you,

I started to cut you off? How confident were you that the card was going to go through? I was a little rattled. I mean, I put it on the credit card. That wasn't, I wasn't rolling the dice with the, with the, but a guy,

the guy across me got denied on a fucking, on a date. It was embarrassing. So this place stinks. People are getting denied left and right. No. You got, you got fucking Ray Lewis when the fight at the bar.

Like, listen, you can be hoity tooty, but you don't, you don't get fucking, also a bunch of people were in their celebration. in birthdays. With the cake on the tape.

You're bringing outside cake in on the table and shit. This guy's a reaching. What do you mean? You're reaching. You can't tell me. You showed up on a collard shirt, sir. Sure. Is there anywhere on the website that says a collared shirt?

Probably a pop-up right away that I missed. I denied the cookies. Yeah, I don't belong in nice places. I get embarrassed. I don't have good clothes. Thank God it fit you. But like, This would be okay, but this would be significantly worse than how I look.

I had a nice fitted t-shirt on, polo, fitted polo t-shirt on. You were all out of the outlet, didn't you? I got it while the getting's good. It's got a sticker on the back. Return it in. House rules. The Ruxden Dining Policy. We aim to create a memorable and unparalleled dining experience at the Ruxton

with our refined and elevated dining atmosphere. and we ask that you keep in mind our business casual dress code when dining with us. Please refrain from the following short or sleeveless t-shirts and tank tops for gentlemen. I didn't have that. You had a short-sleeve t-shirt. It's the first one. I thought it was shorts. Yeah.

Sorry. Hooded sweatshirts. Guy behind me had a hoodie on it. Clothing that is offensive, including but not limited to explicit language, graphics, exposed undergarments are overly revealing clothing, sweatpants, and joggers. Jackets are not required. However, for gentlemen with t-shirts, we were able to. provide one if needed. Children under 16 are not subject to address policy.

Guests are required to be 21 years of age and less company by his supervisor. Let me ask you this. How was the griffin? Nothing on that? You got to be kidding me, dickhead. I didn't fully get it. I'm being honest. That's a griffin.

I get that. Did I eat them? What's the? Yeah, dumbass. It's on the menu. Luke got it. Yeah, Harry Potter. Huh?

Harry Potter. That's what it's from. Hey, Dumbledore. Yeah, Dumbledork. First of all, Harry Potter is an acclaimed to the Griffin. It's been around years before that. Popularized. What?

What, Griffin Door? No, there's a Griffin in Harry Potter. Huh. I didn't see it. I read the book. And that's it from the door corner. Nerd alert. I got a new Star Wars shit, by the way.

We're doing an unboxing. Hey, you're a fucking scumbag. What the fuck? I don't have to tell you. I can't believe you're all. their side on this as a guy who doesn't own his shirt with a collar not on the side of you fucking spending that money on that waggoo tasted get a flight of beers or something we we we uh positioned it as you shared that yeah along with a fillet what the fuck uh huh i could gary brekho

over here take it easy on the protein buddy we spun it as our christmas present to each other because we didn't do presents so this was our Also, I was real embarrassed. I came out with that idea at the table. We got to buy this joint. It's like anybody heard. The guy's behind me, did. And dude, I'm the only guy.

I sit down and then I stand. She brings over a jacket. I stand up and I have to try the jacket on it. No, but I'm saying, not like anybody heard what you ordered. No, the staff, I wanted that to rumble through. Oh, you got the tasting menu. Yeah, he's got cash. Fucking idiots out there spending his rent money.

Yeah, I'm dumb. I don't. He's feeding the baby. I don't belong in those situations. Did you give the baby anything that you were eating? No. No? Fucking wasting waggo on his stupid ass.

They eat nuts. I don't have a collin sharon on. If I can eat a hot dog, you don't know. I'm excited for when he starts eating. I bet you are. You can take up whatever he drops. You and Hans. All that's neither here nor there.

We've got a gosh darn family episode on our hands gang. Please, to the business at 2-4. As you know, when you enjoy the old Patreone, You can ask your garbage question And let's get into it This one's from Sam $10, homie, never had one read Have you ever had a friend with a glass eye?

My brother and I had one growing up One time at a local wrestling match In Albertville, Alabama We had some kids trying to pick a fight with us Our boy took his eye out and said, You think you're tough He took his eye out with his fingers And scared the kid shitless.

That's a pro move That is like That's the end all be all move If you're a kid They really nailed those The glass eyes Yeah Until they

I mean Yeah They're like not I always thought Are they're not full They're just like fronts Nuh Yeah

It's not a whole eye My mom had a friend Worked with a woman Who became her friend And she had one She lost it I think while we knew her She passed away

But she lost it Who gets the eye I don't know, but it's just like a little piece of like... Really? Uh-huh. Huh. That's what I remember. Yeah.

I don't... I don't want a full one. I don't think it can, like, pop in there, though. Why not? I think, like, the physics of it, I don't know. I mean, it have to be squishy. I don't know how it works. What do you got, look?

Yeah, they're usually fronts or shells made of acrylic, not full spheres. They're custom fitted to, like, fit over the orbital implant. So I guess, like, that there's, like, a ball there to... Place over. God love you. I would tell you the time there were kids, my uncle got in a fight down at the playground, down at McVeigh.

I'd all fight at the playground. And he got rocked, I guess. His fucking eye was swollen. He went home and sneezed and his eye fell out. And my mom saw it. It was just hanging. Man, she is scarred for life. Shout out Uncle Den.

He sneezed in the press. I guess he, like, held his nose. or something, the pressure popped it right out. Yikes. Couldn't have clams for a while, right? Yikes. All right, let's see here. It's going to be real sad, but I saw that out.

Okay. Cat got ran over by a car, and his eyeballs popped out. It was so sad. I had it shoveled into a fucking... Deep Pryor? A trash bag. It was the saddest thing ever. Why'd you have to do it?

Because I was, I don't know, I was there. My uncle's like, get to shovel. Whose cat was it? Just a neighborhood cat. You're picking on neighborhood cats like that? He was laying in the street dead. What am I going to do? Leave it there.

What? No. Throw it in the trash. A gentleman. Okay. I'll leave a poor little dead kitty sitting there. It's very sad. Okay.

Well. Fucking sad corner by H. Foley. Anything else? Anybody have leukemia or something you want to talk about? Jesus Christ. My best friend growing up. Okay. This one's for Meatball 150.

Are you garbage if you use metal utensils but paper plates? Man, that is, I remember trying to cut eggo waffles one time, and the syrup was going right through the plate onto the table. Fuck. Paper plates suck, man. I remember being like, this just doesn't, something feels so wrong to me. Yeah.

Because you got to like... Heavy. It's heavy. It flips the plate up. Yeah. That's brutal. We're real big on those, that fake China stuff. The plastic stuff.

My mom was that where you What's I mean I know I know people do But like what is the What is I wonder like what the hell They're what the intended use is I think it's single use But my mom washes them in the In the sink

She doesn't put them in the dishwasher You have a mess on your hands Melt those things down like a fucking G.I. Joe in the microwave Sure at that point I think just go I love a decent Like a Dixie paper plate I love it

But only for a slice. You're what? I mean, that was 99% of what we used growing up. I was getting a slice shit today. I said, don't give me a plate. He was like, what? Yeah, just give it to me. That's fucking insane.

Why? Why does just wait throw the plate out? How's he going to give it to you? Off the spatula? He just handed it to me. With his hands? Yeah. Yeah, that's not how it should be done.

He's touching it anyway. He's putting it out of the oven. I don't give a shit. I'm going to wait a plate. Waste a plate. Hey, when they give you a box for two slices. I love that. What?

They're crazy. I got this whole thing. I got a big laptop. Yeah, other, what do you mean? Broadcast in my business. What else? You're putting it in your pockets? Nobody's in how many slices I'm eating.

Or your hand? Well, now they do because they're just in your hand. You just have loose slices. I don't do too slices. Oh, I'm sorry. How do I drink my soda? Excuse me? The box is awesome.

It gives you so much more surface area. And you've got to put that away. What a dude? The way you operate is boncos. Oh, yeah? I'd have a nice show. jacket if I went to Ruxton's. Ordered the Griffin.

Medium rare. Leave the beak on there. Yeah, no, I mean, that's wild. I guarantee you that pizza guy has never fucking, has never raw dog to slice to a fat guy. That's wild. I disagree with that.

I'll take that bet. Easy money. Isn't it super hot? Yeah. I mean, what's, What's going on here? I never get. I've got to go.

Hey, they're not going back up there. We have a deck up there. Once you start slamming the table, stop freaking out. It's probably what you were doing at the Ruxent, embarrassing everybody. Waiting on my salad. And soup. We're splitting it. We split a soup.

Yeah. You split a soup. Same spoon? No, double spoon. That's not worth it. No, you joint. The Ruxston gives you two spoons. The Teddy Ruxton.

I love a soup spoon for cereal. Uh-huh. Steal them all the time from the room. Also, little one got one. He chewed on that. What? The spoon? Yeah, teeth.

He gave him a metal spoon? I love it. I heat it up. That in a clean napkin, he's easy, peasy. Chew on this. Yeah, throw it, wave it in his face. He likes the air. That's got chemicals and shit in it.

What? Those napkins. Those cloth napkins? Yeah, they got chemicals on them. What do we live in the 14? You don't think there's chemicals everywhere. It's in the air, man. Hey, can you give me my steak with no plate, please?

I'll just roll dog it. Not steak. It's crazy. He just handed you a slice? Yeah, I don't get them. Like he was handing you a newspaper? I don't get them too hot. My favorite thing to hear is they're warm.

You good with that? Yes, I am. Yes, I am, sir. I always have them pull. Hey, you can pull, you can pull them. Oh, they hate that. New York, they keep them. There's this one guy in my joint.

He keeps them in there until they're nuclear. It's fucking wild, dude. Yo! And then the crust dries out. I ain't got good. trust then. It's all like, you know, it's like charred. I'm with... Buddy. It's the same guy.

Yo, who-hoo. Hold them, Johns. I do have a theory that I've been working on. I don't want to say it publicly yet because I don't have all the kinks ironed out. However, I think moving forward, the move is... This is so going to not be the move. I don't know what it is. No plates. But it's so not the move.

You order a pizza? Uh-huh. No box Roll it up Put it in your backpack Looks like a yoga mat You need a telescope You order a pizza

For pickup delivery What do we do? Delivery I don't get delivery I don't get pizza delivered in New York Oh aren't you a fancy pants I put my blazer on And my gumber bun And go get a slice

Without a plate Anyway you order a pizza throw the oven on throw the oven on pizza gets there right in there not in the box

okay put it in the oven all delivery pizza needs that second crisp it doesn't matter before you eat it what the fuck no I'm gonna fucking eat it

throw it up and put it back in the oven what are you an idiot The hell's the matter with you. I do this every time. You put it in your own oven before you eat it or after you're done. Delivery pizza. Hold on. Hey, guy.

Fuck's your problem. Whose side are you on? Not mine. Not justice. The Bruxton's. The Ruxtons. Got the, didn't they? You kept to me.

Called me up. Nice joint. You'd like it. I love a place like that. We should go back. I'm off the booze, though. Full suits. I haven't eaten out.

Yeah, just ordering pizza. I'm an eating out. I just, I just. I sit down restaurant what I'm having a cocktail. It's like, what the fuck? What are we doing here? Mm-hmm. What are we doing?

You know, what are we doing? Start drinking coffee with my dinner, like an old schooler. Because I was watching It's a wonderful life over the break. That meal that he has. I've got to be honest with you, it is not a wonderful life. It me. Listen What

I love how We grow this Whatever one says Listen the other one says What annoyed Uh huh Him again I'm saying

I don't care what the temperature The pizza is If it's coming into the house I'm eating it right away And I get that for the Secondary wave of Zah You can put it in there To keep it warm

But I'm eating it That's wild to me That you're going to Then finish it And then eat it Yeah That's crazy It's like when

They hit it with the thing. They brule it. I need my pizza bruleid. Get a crisp on there. You know what I'm talking about. I love it. Listen. I'll meet you halfway.

Don't know. First, you're standing on your air so you need your pizza brulee. You had a guy palm you a fucking slice of pizza. Not too hot. You did a hand-to-hand like you're buying a dime bag. It's not. And Baltimore. All right?

Looking around. It's not that. It's when it gets in the box. God, these fucking goddamn headphones. You stink. God. Your racism. It's not easy looking as good.

It's not about... That sweatshirt has fat eight-year-old written all over it. You need the matching sweatpants for that and a half a boner, and you would fit in the autistic kids class. It's crazy. This thing's like a sticker. I don't know where I got it, but this ain't... That color green is wild.

This is Eagles green. There's a... I mean... I got toothpaste on my shirt. That's why I got it. on. Uh-huh. Yeah.

True classics, though. It's fitting into the three-xes. Yeah. Four X's. Hey, can I fucking finish my point here? Sure. It's not about that. It's about what happens to the pizza in the box.

It gets steamed up. I like a crisp crust. Okay? So, listen, and I said I'd meet you halfway. I'm not, I'm going to have a slice when it gets. You're a fucking lion sack. No, I'm not. I'm going to have a slice.

But I'm saying to sit down. So the second wave. So you do eat a slice. That's not, listen, one slice ain't a wave. One slice ain't a wave. What? Listen, you're on my side here. That's a look.

You yelled at me. That's a look. That ain't a wave. You yelled at me. Of course, before I eat it. What am I going to spit it back up? You just yelled at me. Yeah.

Have you seen this show? That one slice is in a wave. A wave is when you sit down with the pizza. Listen, you're eating the pizza. and then you're reheating your second. I get that. I get that. But you meet me halfway.

And say you're eating the pizza. I said I was eating the pizza. That's as far as I'm going. So when do you turn it on after you place the order? Yeah, you get the oven hot. And then right when it gets there, you take it out and you slide it in. Then you're going to sit for 15 minutes and let it crisp. Five.

It's five. You get it hot. Five. I said I have a slates why it's cooking. I got screamed app on my sister-in-law. Because we brought pizza over. I got a mad guy. We brought pizza over to the house.

And I brought pizza over to the house. And I brought me. bought it in and I threw it. I got a full complete pie? It was four of them. Four pies. You didn't dip into them at all? No, not in the car.

Oh, yeah, that'd be crazy. I had Patty with me. She was all over me. I want to one. I'm sitting in the back. I'm in the trunk with it. I'm going to. She just sees me closing the seat in the back coat into the truck.

I'm going to watch. I'm going to make sure these pizzas don't slide. That one's ruined. Oh, I lost another one. out the window. I remember discovering that the first time you saw a pizza that got fucked up in the car, you didn't know what to make of it. My dad.

I couldn't figure out. I was like, how did this happen? We used to. What the fuck? How did cheese get over there? Which I don't mind that sometimes. My dad used to yell. I think that's where my anxiety comes in.

If we would have made it home from Angelo's and the Pete, the cheese would have been fucked up. Hell would have been to pay, dude. You would have ruined, you would have think, I remember holding this pizza box with like a laser level. Beads of sweat coming there. Oh, dude. Burning my thighs, too.

Burning my thigh. And I, you know that, you know what the precision? That's a hop-eye. That's hot by. The things out in the rock. The green beads. That's how I was holding that pizza. Man, I have to walk into the, I better hope it wasn't an icy knife.

in Bucks County and slip and ruin the fucking. You're going in back first. Hold the door at the door. Yeah, that was, that was, that was, yeah. Yeah. They fucking make that pizza so goddamn hot. But it gets steamy.

You crisp. I understand that. I understand. 99, I would argue 100% of the pizza I consume in New York is by the slice at the place right downstairs. So it's like, we're not ordering a pie. If she goes, gets pizza, I go, I'll do a vodka. I'll do Sicilian.

You'll do it. You know, we'll get four different, whatever. And there's the perfect example. Nine times out of ten, that's a second heat pizza. I'm not against second heat pizza. I'm against, which I was right, that you're coming home, just immediately throwing the pizza in and not eating it. That's what I was against.

I'm all about a second heat. Well, I was supposed to put the pizza in the oven and keep a worn because they weren't ready for dinner. They're very formal. Oh, right. And I'm very formal. You're bringing four fucking pizzas. Not that formal.

I just grabbed a slice. and walked into the living room. And, man, you would have thought, you would have thought I was holding the cat by its throat. And you want to go to the Ruxden. Yeah. I had a jacket on. I brought the pizza.

I was starving. Blood sugar. When did you know you were taking that slice? In the car. What, the week before? What are you talking about? I would have had it in the car. I was getting screamed that.

Plus, we had two stromboles. And the peaches were on the bottom. Fuck me. Yeah. Yeah, a piece of tromboli. I got to yell that for pizza last night, too. Got home. I go, what are you doing for dinner?

I was working, right? I'll work. I paid a bills. Okay? Take that, Ruxton. She goes, there's some bread and soup. And I'm like, that's not. No, seriously.

Yeah, I go, okay. So do you want me to call Angelo's or do you want to call? Right? Hello, police. There's a crazy woman in my house. That is, and here's the thing. This is, I think this is the difference between fat guys and Luke, I'll weigh on on your opinion here. Chlorically, it's enough for a meal, right?

Yeah. It's just mentally and emotional. She goes, I'll put some cheese on the bread. I go, cheese. We're going to eat that while we're making the other food. Like, that's not enough for me. And she goes, oh, there's some leftover pizza, too. I go, great.

Mm-hmm. So I get home and there's, there's small, it was a small pizza. So like smaller slices, not like full slices, like the little guys. I know what you mean. So orders and shit. No, not really. Just a small pizza. Regular as a.

Hmm. Ornison. Yeah. Those are like the night, like a brick fire. Like a Neapolitan. Yeah. Nah, not personal. Those brick oven pizzas.

Those, those are small slices. Those are little baby slices. Okay. They're not? It is, but it wasn't. It was just a regular small pizza. wasn't artisanal. Okay.

This is a small pizza. What are you doing with that? What do you mean? Why'd you have a small pizza in the house? I'm generally... You didn't know they made them in that size? No, I just don't understand it. Because the night...

Okay, let me rephrase that. What were you doing with the small pizza? Because let me tell you this. If something had happened and there was like a crime done, the cops, you'd be staying overnight. Do you want a... You want a small pizza in the house? Do you want it?

Uh-huh. You want her, you're sure about that? Small pizza? You've never had a small pizza in your life. The wife likes them. This is what happened. We got home. No food in a house.

Uh-huh. This isn't the burbs. Uh-huh. I got to go pick up the dog from the shelter. What are they called that? Bar. Penitentiary. The whatever.

Boarding. Yes. So I know at that point I'm getting a cheese steak and French fries. from my local place. Why? Under the radar? You're saying, hey, I'm going to, I'll grab something on that.

This is what happened. She, we got home, she took the car food shopping. And she got, she went to Whole Foods and she got something from the hot bar for her. But why she was food shopping.

Yeah, but for dinner. That's too long. For what? My mom would hit me with that. We get back from somewhere and she'd be like, I'm going to go to the store. Go to the store.

You're not going to be back for like 45 minutes. That's crazy. What the fool will be dead? I'm not going to have the strength to unload the bags from the car, lady. I got to eat. Dude, unloading groceries at night. Uh-huh. What the, what are we fucking ISIS?

Uh-huh. I never unpacking my mom's Ford Taurus a night home coming home from the shore, which being just like this fucking. Dude, taking out groceries at night. Jesus, who's looking for us? So I knew she had that, and her phone was dead. Awesome. So I left to go get to car. and I went, I knew.

Plus, I let out some air in her tires. She'll be coming for a little while. So I knew she had the, I saw the hot bar, so I knew she had food for them. Mm-hmm. So I was like, all right, I'm going to order from my local pizza establishment, a cheese steak and french fries like I do. And then a lot of times if I'm doing that, she'll be like, oh, just get me. She likes to go get me a slice.

And I go, you can't do slices and prepared food. It don't, it don't jive. They put it in a bag on a plate. It's a nightmare. I go, just get a small pizza. It's the equivalent of like two, probably two and a half slice. Just get the small. It works out for you.

Yeah. You know what I mean? Just get a pie. Small pie. It's not for me. I got my cheese steak. Small pie for her. And maybe the kid wants to slice.

Listen, having a couple of slices in the fridge. So listen. Hold on. So I go to text her, hey, I'm ordering. And then I go, oh, yeah, her phone's dead. So I, nice husband I am, I just get a small pie preemptively. Yeah. So I get mine.

So that's what the slices were from because she didn't really eat it. Okay. I had one with my cheese steak. I'm hungry. So then there was four left over. Smart man. So I got home last night. She's got this soup and bread idea that I don't know.

And I just rolled with it. I wanted to fight. against it but and then she goes we also have the pizza I went okay great oh are you voting for taminy soup and bread I know you're homeless all this a sudden god damn shelt hey let me fill up my paperwork at Ellis island real quick and then no on that well she's real big on like repurposing multiple leftovers for like you know oh I made something out of nothing and I ain't that guy I need something to turn into something I've done that shit over my my mom god lover never did that i've got caught up in that shit over at friends houses

she's staying for dinner i stay for dinner and then there's fucking nine different things on the table is this a wedding pancakes and meatballs hey honey call my mom and dominoes we got a goddamn emergency fuck that there's a little chinese food and there's some cereals fucking eating fucking frosted flakes with chopsticks the fuck at me What am I, a fucking jerk off? And your dad work? I know we're in a recession, but God damn, guy, you got company coming over. I think you fuse my stomach.

I don't know if I go back to work or take a nap. Get ready for school. Here, so she goes, we also, so she's telling me this. and I'm like not all about it because I need the full overeating of the meal I need the French fries and the steak cheese steak right but

this is the next night but I don't know there's pizza I forgot she goes we also have the pizza I went out cool then I'm good I'll I'll have hers will be the appetizer uh huh and the pizza This is soup Yeah a bowl of soup and fucking some bread and cheese So I get home and she's I there's two slices in the fridge that I pull

out right oh ass on she's like how was your day I'm like, yeah, Foley was an asshole. You know what I mean? I'm fucking, I got the box open. Thank God you guys are okay. And she goes, I already got two slices in the oven. I don't want to wait for that. I got the box in my hand.

But then she goes, that's my lunch for tomorrow. Ah, what the fuck? I said to place. You got a job. I said, Angelos is right down the street. They deliver. So I had to wait until this. I just said pull it now.

I got all I was real. You know when you're fucking. Yeah, what? Yes. Yeah. Yes. I'll do that thing where if I'll order something, I'll get, I'll, like, you know, I'm juiced up. Like, I'll order something and then go right to the refrigerator.

That was flips, uh, flips theory on why so many fights happen at McDonald's. Oh, because yeah. Because you're like, you're addicted to that shit food and it's like right there and then. Have you told me this afforded? Did I see this in a documentary? This is, this is, this is. this is flips like from like 15 years ago because this is like i probably told you because it's all that sugar and you're you're fucking charged up and then like your card gets declined and they don't

they take the bag back like the soup nazi and then you go it's fucking you don't see that at cruxons you almost it's what you get there um yeah i was like that's a great theory that's flips theory by the way i wanted to tell you this uh about the one of the um thought of it with the air and the tires. So you know how in the wintertime, the tires, the air leaks out a little bit? It doesn't leak out. It contracts. What?

Okay. Thank you, Mr. Wizard. Why did you get mad at that? I don't know. You face me. Maybe an asshole for everybody. You know how it leaks out?

Well, one, it doesn't leak out. The molecules get smaller. Because when you start driving again, they warm up. Can you let me slide on one or two? Does it always got to be something? Okay. Yeah. You know, I know how everybody's tires universally leaked during the, yeah, yeah.

Okay. I should have rephrased it. You know how the tires go. lower in the winter for whatever reason. Uh-huh. Right. You know what I'm talking about? Can you just trash me for not having a jacket this whole time?

And then you're scientifically wrong and I call you out and I'm breaking your balls. Yeah, okay. All right. You really, you really call balls and strikes. I took it personally and I apologize. You call balls and strikes when it's beneficial for you. And you know I got mad because I know that I'm stupid and I know that's what it is. That's why I got mad.

I didn't call you stupid. I'm saying I'm stupid. I will agree with that. Anyway. I'll agree with you on that. That I'm stupid. I was right. Anywho, that happened to me.

The leaks. Yeah. The contractions. I got WikiLeaks over here. They told nobody nothing. I know what that was? Somebody rat it. I don't know.

That and the Snowden thing I missed completely. And everybody was talking about it. I don't know nothing. Is Snowden the same guy as WikiLeaks? I don't know. And who's Julian Assange? That's WikiLeaks. Yeah.

The lesson, you're fucking nerds. He was in like the Ecuadorian embassy or something like that, peeing in jars or some shit. Should have been running your fucking mouth, guy. I don't know what to tell you. Zip it. You want to look at the files, take a peek. Go along to get along, Daddy, yo. No, thank you.

I don't know nothing about all that. Anyway, so my shit went low. I was home. Patty's car was in the thing because she was getting ready for like an inch of snow. So she takes my car. She comes back. She's like, your tires weren't low. I put air in it.

I get in the car to next time. 40 fucking PSI. High and tights. I'm like, what the if I got out of the car. Those are going to blow up. 40? What do you? I'll go over a fucking pebble of the fucking car will explode.

40? Drag racing? 36, you dumb, brood. 36. That's the limit. Uh-huh. Jesus Christ. It's wild.

Your mom's filling up her tires. I don't think Denise would know what to do. Denise would have to probably buy a new car It's the one's ruined He don't know nothing about him Patty knows her shit man Oil change the whole nine yards Changes the royal

She's on there smoking a heater Pulls out Hey need about three quarters of 10 W God lover All right let's see here This one You'll probably miss this one This is from Toadie's tight leather pants

Great name $10 homie What is definitively trashier. Flavor of love or Rock of Love? Now, do you know those? Flavor of Love was Flavre Flav. Rock of Love, I believe, was Brett Michaels. Talk about missing

all the basketball. When Kevin Hart was on that show, basketball husbands, the real house husband. I didn't understand if that was real or if that was parody. Because I didn't understand basketball wives. I didn't understand flavor of love. What was flavor of love?

What was Flav or Flav on before that that everybody knew him from? He was on a reality TV show with Bridget Nielsen. I forget. Was it like House Rules? Yeah, it's kind of like the surreal life or something like May. It wasn't the surreal life. Find out what that was, Luke. Strange love.

That was strange love with him and Bridgett. I make sense. She's real tall. No, but I thought they were on a show and they, oh, dude, I used to tug my little room at her. She walked around in that leopard dress. Like, oh, she'd be fucking fucked up. Beverly Hills Cop, too.

and fucking Rocky 4. Man, I loved her. Loved girls with short blonde hair like that. Strange love, the spinoff was the surreal life. Okay. Yeah, I was really dipping. So, no, they were on the surreal life. But Strange Love first.

Really? Was that them to, though? Because they fell in love on the show. I just remember them being in Italy, and the Italian guys making fun of flavor, which I didn't like. They were talking shit. They were fucking shit in the dying to him. That guy's a goddamn icon.

But then it spun off and then he had one and then that was flavor of where no. He sat in the chair. That girl, yeah, that girl New York was on it. He was in love with a girl named New York. Then New York had her own spin off. I was really dipping in and out of life at that time. I really loved it. Yeah, I was doing my own thing.

What? Surreal life then, strange. strange love. Yeah, Flavor was invited to participate in VH1 reality show The Surreal Life. During this show, he developed a relationship with singer, an actress, singer, Bridget Neelson. That's a fucking stretch. I never heard of the urine. After the conclusion of the surreal life, VH1, flavor, yeah, they then had strange love,

which detailed their globe-trotting adventures in love. At the end of Strange Love, Nelson decided to return to her fiancé Matia DESE. Flavor Love then aired after that because then it was like, let's find Flavor Flavis. Love kind of the precursor to the Bachelor Sure, that all might have been happening around the same I mean, I don't know Everybody, my parents were watching that shit

Everybody was watching reality shows back then That was big dude and he was like Perfect because so many people knew who he was already It would just so insane too He was crazy Yeah, and then it's like Osbournes don't get enough credit too Everybody loved that show

That took that took We were in junior high, maybe her high school By stormed And crazy MTV's Done 44 years. That nuts. How do you fuck that up?

How do you fuck that up? You could still have it. Just put a bunch, just have it constant videos. Go old school. Just run it. Just fucking run it. I love that Run's house.

Oh, Run's house was great. He was pretty funny. They were fucked with TRL. He started fucking showing half the fucking videos. I knew it was over then. How do you fuck up MTV? It's crazy I knew it was over

I respected when they did it Whatever the hip hop version of TRL was Was like what we kind of like We didn't like the pop That was more like Britney Spears and whatever But the hip hop version It wasn't YOM TV wraps It was after that

It was like They it was Whatever it was more the hip hop So it was like Eminem Jay Z The Chronic all that kind of shit Total Request Live No that's TRL That's TRL

Bozo Look it out of we're tired Square. Shut up. He's on Good Morning America or something now. Carson Daly? He does well. It does the popcorn.

Pop star. We and Nadine watch it. Very well. I like him. He was like kind of a bit of a whatever. But once they, what? 106 in Park? No.

Scared straight? Which when that hit. Woo! I remember the one guy told him, you don't know shit about smoking weed. I'll smoke your ass. Man. What are you in here?

Sign me up. All right, let's see. Let's rip through a couple more of the cues here. Please. All right, this one's from Brandino Brown, $10. Foley's bastard child here. Is it garbage if you're able to keep a hot tub through multiple divorces? My father-in-law has been rocking the same hot tub for 20 plus years and refuses to give it up.

It's currently on the balcony of his girlfriend's condo. Nice. That ain't lasting. Bringing it with you. If you got to think about it, that's like, the only constant. for 20 years, that's probably like his fucking, he's like, if all else fails, I got this fucking hop tub,

I can set it up and get some new trim. You know what I mean? Can you imagine fucking moving in to your girlfriend's place? Oh, yeah, I forgot the hot tub out in the truck. The hot tub. Obviously, Dave, I'm bringing a hot tub. Get it set up.

Who's going to say no to that? I've never, I mean, those things do not age well. Hot tubs. The wood goes to fucking day, you know, one bad season. And there ain't no coming back from that. Those new ones, though, with the lid, they're nice.

As long as you got some steps to get in them. You know what I'm talking about? With the fold of fucking lip that you can flip off. Yes. I remember getting the, my stepdad had one when he was a bachelor. Like, I mean, getting that lid on and off. If it was, they expressed it like it was the weight of a train. Like if you got stuck under that, you know, and you got pinned under that thing.

We weren't allowed to go near it. Watch the lid. Oh, you came back here. That in the pool. They scared the shit I was with the pool cover That thing It's like it would come in your room

And stab you I know They were dangerous We finally got the one Where in the pictures They'd put a car Or an elephant on That was a member

Because they at one point They were just like the tarp And you'd put the weights around them Uh huh Like of an in-ground pool It was just a tarp And you'd fill up These tubes with hose water

No I mean Yeah I know Yeah For the winner For the winner And that would be That's what you kept it So if you stepped on it

You're coming in I was referring to the solar cover. Oh. Because you had an above ground pool, you had to put a cover on it when you weren't using it to heat. It would heat it up. It was just bubbles. Yeah, yeah. It was just bubble wrap.

Yeah. And from the lethal weapon when the guy fell in that, you're dead. There's no way to get you out. The idea of like the fear that our parents instilled at us in like such. I appreciate it to be honest with that. I mean, yeah, I get it. But like, it's just such. There were so many things to them that, like, you could never.

And you're like, what the fuck? Just relax. You know what I mean? But I pretty like that kept me alive a lot, to be honest with you. I remember my friends jumping off my, my cousin's roof into the in-ground pool. I was like, I ain't fucking doing that shit. Well, that I get if your parents are like that. But like we were like, there was just such an adverse thing to like, you can't have a hot tub.

It's like you can have a hot tub. You know what I mean? There were certain things that there were just. like you gotta be careful you can't do like you know like I'm having the lid to the hot tub was like a thing of like we were okay and then like I'm telling my friends like you got to be careful about the lid one on a hot tub getting into a getting into a clothes a refrigerator and a closing behind you too a walk in yeah no not a walk in like a regular refrigerator yeah like if they like because they had to start you had to take the door off when you threw out a refrigerator

back of the day because kids would go into them and suffocate and it closed and a close Clothes on you. The racks were all taken out. Okay. Oh, that makes sense. Yeah. You hide in there. Fucking,

ooh. That old refrigerator smells. The last thing you smell. It sucks. We found one. Bacon soda. We took the doors off and we're skateboarding on it. And we took the, I remember, we took the doors to Pat's house to skateboarded on them and, like, set, you know, like, these are going to keep these refrigerator doors at Pat's house and we're going to skateboard on them.

and hey you skateboarding on a refrigerator not well it was a bad what were you doing you like allie up on it or you can like slide on like grinder or whatever board slide on it and we were like 10 or 12 you know really in elementary we're children and we showed up with these doors and his dad

was like get these the fuck out of my house what the fuck you are not keeping someone else is fucking trash in the garage you know I want to ask you about the hot tub you ever see your old man making moves in there not like it was my stepdad's Oh, is your step? Would be now.

Do you ever see those two hopping in there while you were going off to bed? No, it was at his town house. Oh, okay. Which I wanted to come like that when he moved in. I'm like, you, who, bring that? He goes, I'm staying with the house. Fucking rat. So you never saw, like, it wasn't like him and your mom hopping in that at like 9 o'clock

at night when you were off to bed. No. Okay. I assume they used it when I was. Turn a TV up real loud that night. My dad's for the weekend. We only ever used it like three, times in 10 years, which it was like, what the fuck?

Turn that thing on. What the fuck are you bringing to the table here, guy? I can have to sue these muscles, skateboarding on refrigerators all day. And carrying his refrigerator door around with me all over the goddamn neighborhood. Fucking soak my bones. Oh, shit. I mean, it was fucking. All right, this one's from NYC.

Tony, is it garbage to hoard antibiotics and prescription for when you see the flu season coming up so you can take them and take them before the doctor calls anything in? I did this now. I got a moxicillin sitting. I go, I'm holding that. Yeah. I'm holding it. Yeah. It's garbage, but they give you such bullshit.

None, okay, first of all, none of that bullshit you're getting over the counter works. None of it fucking works. I got to push back. I think Dayquil can get you through the day. It can numb It can get your head on your shoulders It'll stop the fucking The nasal

There's a little bit of methamphetamine in it They go But it's not killing it I know But nothing really I mean Amoxicillin only kills fucking Dacterial

So it's, you know At any point You're really just managing the symptoms So you can recover Mm-hmm You ever fuck with the Z-Quil Yeah What?

Yeah Tough guy I wasn't saying like a tough guy You didn't say it you didn't say what yeah obviously yeah south end of an eight ball time to go night night yeah get the sledgehammer the Ziquel yeah can't be that much I remember the best the the best hangover cure I ever heard was the guy a kid woke up at like 6 a.m. had a split in headache took Tylenol p.m. didn't realize knocked out for three more hours

woke up he's like completely fine chug the gatorade hit tyll and all p.m. woke up fucking bounce right out of bed. Ooh, doggy, that's how you doing. Yeah, the first time taking Talon L. P.M. It was like a miracle. Yeah, you shut it down. We shut it. Clues for midnight. Shut it the fuck down. I love

when just stuff like that works. That was a hard reset. And I forget about it for every couple of years. Yeah. I forget about it for a while. Then you're like, oh, yeah. I can shut. Cheat code. Do a little time traveling. My brother rolls with a phone.

fucking, not narcotics, but, I mean, you need a Z-pack. The kids. It's just fucking, he's got a guy on call, like a doctor who's like, we'll call in kind of anything for him. I haven't had an antibiotic in forever, I feel like. I don't like taking them. I'm saving them for when I need them. That's what they, I'm going to need them. That's all bullshit.

They doctors say that. What? They're going to mess up your stomach. I have to give a fuck. I don't think it. First of all, it's not bullshit. you just don't give a fuck, which is fair. Thank you.

But I think I think the more you take them, the more you become resist, like the less effect they have. And I don't need them much now, so I'm like, I'm going to, I'm sure when I'm 60 or 70, I'm going to be needing everything I can get.

You know, so I'm saving it. That's probably flawed logic as well. I took them so much when I was, that was my mom's answer to everything. I'll get you Z-pack. I felt like Z-Packs came around 10 years ago to me. I remember the when they, I remember those things hit.

Yeah. Hit. I don't fuck with them. Fly straight and arrow, though. My gas drug guy gave him to me one time. Years and years ago. Because when you have Gerd. They're a hot guy.

Ladies. When you have Gerd, sometimes you're, uh, you get bacteria in your stomach. So he gave me a Z-pack with, uh, Omarazer Parole. Mm-hmm. To kick things off. You're a real fucking party animal over it. Something why the pizza's eating up. All right.

We got to wrap it up. Gang, we love you to death. Uh-huh. Grab them tickets to come see the boys this spring and summer. Yes. Right? Yeah, why are you looking at me? I don't know.

What the fuck guy? You're taking me with you, right? Our deal still stains, right? We love you. We'll see you next week. Peace.