Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Subhah Agarwal - Chicago Hustler

Episode Date: June 10, 2021

Kippy and Foley are back with old pal and super funny comedian Subhah Agarwal. Subhah shares some of her HORRIBLE decision making that has led to weird problems. Thanks for the support. Love youse guys!  Live Shows: https://linktr.ee/AYGLiveShows PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage http://www.HelixSleep.com/Garbage http://www.breathefum.com/garbageFollow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/foleygrams/ Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

Hey gang real quick before we get the old show started let's talk about these live days we got coming up it's to keep it moving 2021 tour and we're coming to a town near you we're going to be in Atlantic City, New Jersey June 18th oh yeah and then we're going to be in Chicago for our fourth and final show on June 22nd then we're heading over to Indianapolis, Indiana at the helium over there on June 23rd get some tickets and then we're coming back Thursday night back to the windy city for two sold-out shows so if you heard a date on there that wasn't sold out buy some tickets come see us it's gonna be a great time yeah guys the live show is awesome it's stand-up and then we play AYG with the audience we answer your questions it's a good

fucking time get involved see you there oh baby welcome to another exciting edition of are you garbage the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash now here are your hosts Kevin Ryan and H Foley hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast this is are you garbage sure is it's a little show we sit there with your favorite comedians and we find out they're going to be classy there's just a big old piece of trash I'm your hostage Foley coming at you on a rainy day down here it started raining nine seconds it's a monsoon out there I tell you my co-host is coming at you from right next to me uh still uh living the Key West lifestyle

over here ladies and gentlemen give it up for Kevin James Ryan hey gang happy to be here thanks for tuning in as always please make sure you rate review subscribe on iTunes full video available on YouTube and as you know those numbers are true to roof true to fucking roof and then patreon.com you can sign up you get bonus content you get episodes at AYG you get episodes a whole different show hard feelings which is the show behind the show that's true a little bit uh it's me and H Foley the airing of the grievances every week yes sir we got them you want them and then uh every month we'll do a live stream with our top tier members where we play AYG with you guys you play with us it's a good fucking time get involved

and also check out some fucking live shows absolutely we got Chicago, Indy and Atlantic City coming up there you go uh A.C.'s almost sold out I think two tables left as of today so let's go let's round that out strong it's whatever you do if you see kippy kids don't buy any weed off of them because this guy's a cop tell me whatever you've been pushing that and no one's giving you anything you came in you're like hey Toby doesn't give you a cop he's like no he doesn't look like a cop one of these days I'll get you with it I'm telling you and have a nice quick shout out to our producer extraordinaire the magic man T-Bone McMuffin Toby McMuffin what's up boys what's up T-Bone don't forget to mention the big

patreon weight loss challenge 500 bones on the line for the big man to drop which if you haven't been tuning in it's a fucking wild ride let's just say that down is up up is down who knows what the fuck's going on kippy's got me upside down in a weight loss contest end up owing money but gang that is neither here nor there because we could not be more excited to have our incredibly special guest here with us today our guest is a very funny stand-up comedian actor and writer as an actor she's appeared in musy you your brain and you westworld as a writer you're ready for this 69 episodes of the Jim Jeffery show 26 episodes of comedy knockout she's appeared on Gotham comedy live a little late with lily sing and she's one of the writers on the new hulu summer hit plan

b yeah but the big question i told you he loves his interest he's mind that a is she garbage we're about to find out give it up for one of our oldest pals in comedy suba agarwal ladies and gentlemen hey thank you for reading my entire imdb page holy shit he gets into it i like it he gets here an hour early he's like nobody looking me and he's got like he's got spreadsheets going he's doing it all we're like we're like we're like a high-end salon we're like a high-end like place where you get a suit we want you to feel good when you walk in the door yeah we walked in we gave her a warm nestly water so we're the barber that gives you a glass of scotch you know what i mean are you get a glass of champagne when you go to get your hair that's that's the way you like to we like

everybody feeling fresh okay thank you for coming in and sitting with us yeah no thanks for having me i feel like this is going to be an interesting one let me ask you this do you think you're garbage uh i think i i have garbage qualities yeah for sure 1000 at one point i did sleep on a garbage bag so i feel like that's that that's where i'm worried we're gonna get you you're you're an extremely hard worker you've been working very hard at comedy you do things that that you know like one of the things in this business is are you prepared to do these things that you have to do to get to the next level and i'm sure you've crashed on some couches how we met was a little my god i forgot how did you meet i don't think i know this story i never met suba before

all right and a friend of ours called and said hey i was still in philly okay and called and said hey there's a comic friend of mine that's in town she has a show tonight she has nowhere to go between now and then she's been on the road for like two weeks she's been wearing the same clothes she's been sleeping in bus stations she's been sleeping at bus station can you let this homeless person in your house she's got a tight eight minutes on her though can you let it can you let her in the grab a showering and throw a hot meal at her what i swear to god suba that's dangerous i know it's a miracle i'm not dead i like i might because i got added to a show last minute so like where i was staying i didn't have anything lined up but i was and i accepted the show without

another thought and then remember i was like yeah you can shower and there's a fat guy in south philly with a shower can you be there in ten she did not come in on a limo i can tell you that you took like a chinatown bus or like 100 for the uh the mega bus oh my god but it all worked out it was so great we had spaghetti we had brownies with ice cream and all these leftovers from the night before leftovers i'm whipping up lunch if you want to come in yeah didn't you think it was strange i was serving you spaghetti for lunch who's the fucking spaghetti bro i was so excited for the spaghetti i was like crazy dude i remember the first time i met her you did use to move through new york as like a transient because you were doing so many spots you were like the person was like oh suba

does 97 spots like like oh i regret all of it and i remember you came in we were doing i think it was point break or something it was one of those weird midtown bars that's like nine floors and there was a show on like the sixth one and i remember i had just moved to new york and like i was like feeling myself i was pretty good and i'm like you're like you bumped me because you were like hey i got another spot and they were like okay we're gonna put suba up and then you like oh yeah okay sure and then foley said dude she's gonna eat your lunch and i'm like what do you mean dude you're like dude she's a killer i'm like this look get the fuck out i'm fucking go i'm a killer dude she went up there i got up like two minutes later i was like playing with the microphone i was sweating

i couldn't get out of that fucking place quick enough you unplugged the mic on purpose i was just trying to buy yourself a couple of seconds take a real long simple she's a killer folks i kill her absolute killer so that's where my fears come in that we're gonna we're gonna get some dirt in it but i have a feeling the upbringing school all that stuff we're gonna find some some some class there we'll see are you from chicago originally suburb suburb suburb of chicago are we talking anywhere near the mccalisters no we well because my parents started out right before i was born in an apartment building and then they moved into a smaller house in mondaline and then eventually they moved into like a nice house but we couldn't afford that neighborhood

but my uncle owned a construction company okay so what we did was buy like a really shitty plot of land that nobody wanted like it was like covered in rocks and shit it was impossible to grow anything we'll take it yeah and then my uncle built a house on top of it at a discount for us so we could go to a better school like that's fucking chess right there that's that's playing that's generational moves you could always tell the family that couldn't quite afford to live in the neighborhood you know they need no lawn furniture shit like that uh it was the fucking worst all those bitches with their name brand abber crombie and hollister it was so furious you're going back to the shed on the pile of rocks wasn't it different than all the other

houses in the neighborhood my uncle did a fucking good job i get out of the park oh yeah he hit that shit out the park it was nice and uncle contracted that's pretty good yeah what did you what did your mom and dad do so my dad started off i'm pretty sure he started off in construction i think somebody told me that i'm not i should probably call them more healer i know i don't know never met the man oh you florist what's going on no i think it was construction they started off and that's how he ended up with that horrific arm injury but he started off wait what's what arm yeah he like broke his arm and then apparently they didn't know how to fix it and then the bone healed wrong and then there was one doctor that's a trash thing when they're like oh they don't know what they're doing

they know what they're doing that's why they're at the hospital but they had to like pull his arm like in physical therapy it was like screwed up but um what yeah they were like oh it's not going that way let's just pull on it and then i think he ended up going to like the mayo clinic or like somewhere proper arm yeah jeez that's not like cancer i'm pretty sure that's a big jump in health care going from a place where they're where they're gonna pull it yeah we're gonna pull it to the mayo clinic and the pulling and stretching didn't work so we're gonna go to the top shelf they were like they literally have people like holding him down like we're just gonna keep pulling your arm they're like what the fuck they're on the phone with the mayo clinic how's the pulling department

what's the copay on a stretch the mayo clinic is where fully gets lunch the name of his kitchen it did always confuse me as a kid i'm not gonna lie all right so but he started off there and then he saved up money and then started investing in like buying property and then like fixing it and then either renting it or like selling it back those contractors are sharp guys yeah a lot of people that they're real sharp guys they always got their hands in a couple of things they're always doing real well and they know how to do all that shit so they have an advantage over everybody i like that yeah so it was it was good eventually he like that business started doing well so that was good and then my mom was a lawyer in india but when she

came here her license didn't fully transfer so she ended up working like it's a when she had us she became a part-time paralegal okay so your dad's a construction your mom's a paralegal pretty good you're not owned a bit that's white car your dad owned a business your mom was a lawyer or worked in law when she got here that's fucking top shelf how quickly did you get into the um to the house your uncle built in the neighborhood how old were you i was that was middle school i want to say okay so you had a little bit where you do you remember the apartment no i don't remember that apartment because we were in a small house by them like a small like in monday line and then they moved to a bigger one the apartment was my brother what do you know about this monday line

neighborhood uh snow rose mime i'll tell you that was rose mime i don't know yeah snow old shout out to jimmy's 23 way to play inside chicago baseball that just hit for like three people in rose mime chicago right now is it nice or not i couldn't tell you never been ah it's not bad but it's not like um fancy you know and what about the place where you moved into where the where the house was that like is much uh fancier what neighborhood's that uh hawthorne woods so that's sounds good oh mr hawthorne hawthorne woods that's good oh man i just got fucking excited that sounds haunted dude it sounds like an old timey author that killed himself yeah whatever you do don't go into hawthorne woods alone at night they say the trees can talk no thank you uh and was that

school public or private the public but it's one of the best i think it's really good publish yeah our class was like um 1000 plus students like 1100 something students and our graduating class and you're graduating that's big god damn because i graduated with 550 i graduated with three three people i was your brother and your dad me and the schlegger twins elmer and elmer 1000 kids man that's a that's a big fuck so it had to be like 4000 people yeah yeah it was huge but it's a good school yeah but that's trashy though man when the school's too big no yeah it's hawthorne still you didn't know any but i i was glad that i had three we had 300 my class probably

three in each other class it was the perfect size everybody kind of knew each other this is what he does though he just romanticizes his childhood because he's never had anything else i would i'm this is the bet how would you how do you know you wouldn't like a thousand people in a class you never had it you don't know everybody but you don't like it's also hometown feel it's very like segregated like where it's like the ap like the college track like was all together it was like a yeah and then like the lower kids are like you'll fucking figure it out because with some windows like they didn't give us the full week track i've never heard it described like that so there was kids there were some kids in your high school that were on their way to college

and there were some that everybody knew weren't well i mean i'm sure they were fine but it was like definitely very much like you didn't see kids who weren't in your academic yeah yeah why you weren't like the smart kid yeah stuff like that so it's like you didn't really outside of she wasn't associated with the foley outside of gym class we didn't see each other we're gonna go burn frogs after school you want to come with us uh no i have an honors math class i have to get to okay all right thousand kids were you a good student yeah oh i um i had to be it was like my whole personality it was insufferable uh like always had to answer every question because like that's how i started making friends because i was so heavily bullied that i didn't have a personality

so i like sorry to laugh but the way you just bluntly said i was so heavily bullied no i was it's what i'm sure and i like didn't know how to talk to people so i would help people with their homework so people would have to come to me that was like you know you know like people who start dude the agri-wals are into fucking power moves dude that's you know how like people in la deal cocaine to make friends yeah i did that with like math quiz answers like that's what i was doing listen if you want to know who if you get on a bus at noon and you end up and tell assie text my number text me 3.14 and i'll know what you mean and i'll call you back you were bullied yeah oh yeah i mean i was like pudgy i used to think i was a fat kid and then i looked at pictures

on myself and i was like those fucking assholes i wasn't even that fat i swear to god i had the same thing different in the 90s and 2000s yeah like if you look at george on sign fund he was viewed as a fat person i look at him now like dude that guy's a stud he was like a buck 45 the 90s was just different the 90s 2000 was just was just different yeah oh my goodness okay brothers and sisters yeah i had an older brother how older uh four years did he go to the same school were you guys ever in the high school together yes like the first my first year there in his last year there now was he looking out for you with the bullying your freshman year well high school again because the nerds were together it wasn't really that much so bad yeah it was more like minded people

yeah it was more in middle school that it was like mixed in with the animals over there you're in gen top you're fucking criminals yeah i tell you what that middle school cafeteria was a fucking minefield you gotta be real careful kids were brutal in the 90s i remember kids pouring chocolate meltdown this one fat kids butt crack oh yeah this one and it ruined my underwear i never got it but when i witnessed that i was on my guard from here on out man i was like they get me like that he's just taping the back of his pants shut it was overalls every day for the for the rest of last man out of every room too fucking you go you go they called me henry the gentleman everybody go ahead of me now after

you please show up to lunch early buy all the chocolate milk what's foley doing guy just loves chocolate milk hey get me with that bullshit that's so fun what uh what's your brother do now uh he's i think he's doing something with ai or i mean he's like um i talked to you don't talk to the family that much do you think he's doing something with them i don't know he's a lie he might have been in construction he's uh some type of engineer i forget which kind smart guy doing well yeah yeah pretty good yeah pretty good all right i think we should let's jump in well why we're on the why we're on the subject of school uh would you go near sate yeah i didn't take them i took only the acts what's that that's like that thing we talked about would you get on the it's out i got uh 35

why didn't you take your sat's because i didn't want to i was so that was an option yeah big in the midwest yeah yeah it's 30 i got 35 by 36 so i was one point away from a person i don't need to google that that checks out pretty good how many questions is it why is it why is it only 36 i have no idea nah that's fucking stupid um i don't know fully why is the sat out of 2600 it sounds better i'll tell you that's why it sounds better would you get in your test i got a 35 would you get a test i got 2600 that's a first of all 24 i gotta correct you oh is it well now it's back to 14 yeah you do bozos it's 38 grain uh what was your gpa um i don't remember but i was it was the highest i wonder you were getting bullied

but i was so over academia though because like it was so my school was so intense that they took away the title of valedictorian kids kids were like killing themselves really but just for my year and i would have been valedictorian isn't that fuck that she's still bitter really yeah and parents were so mad they put it back but like i was the only year where it skipped yeah you should have said you were gonna know what have you been and you think you would have got it uh no i know because like i didn't even know actually this is how competitive our school was it's like they show the gpa range like it's like this to this is like whatever percent and then kids started coming up to me and were like you're valedictorian and i was like what like they figured it out and told me

but um that's how insane it was and then by the time and i didn't want anything to do with academics at that point like i was kind of doing it for the approval of my family until like have friends and i was just exhausted like at one point i told my mom i didn't want to take that many college level classes and she's like what are you gonna do stay home and have babies and i was like what like why is that the alternative for those indian parents and they're not fucking around when it comes to grades they do not but that's the thing is they were chill indian parents in michael like they were indian kids who had chill parents and i was so mad i was furious that there was this one kid named kiran whose parents were super chill he's like yeah i bring him a b-plus they're like good

enough and i was like what yeah i was so mad um thunder baby i know thunder but i didn't want to take the s-a-t's i didn't want to go to ivy league school i was just so over you applied for go to an ivy league school um no i think you don't get to put this plan into action did you what what do you mean what you're saying your mom let you get away with this yeah this happened yeah because i didn't want to go to um i think well because for undergrad it doesn't matter that much it's expensive they expected me to go on and get a phd so like undergrad it's like okay and then yeah it was it was a lot it was fucking intense and then like because that was my whole personality like if i didn't get the top score i didn't know who i was so i would like have a complete spiral meltdown but like

yeah it was it was a lot did you take adderall in high school no but in college yes a lot um another comedian was selling me adderall in college and he's like i have to stop because you're gonna die and everyone's gonna be mad at me that's literally what he said jesus well i have to take the most adderall in my class i have to be devout a victorian of adderall otherwise my parents won't love me oh shit but it's because i was doing stand-up and i was in pittsburgh i ended up in pittsburgh which was a mistake uh you pet nice good school good school they gave me a full ride which is what i was like fuck yeah um it was dope but i traded in for four adderall and three open mic spots but i would like drive up to ohio i would drive to irie pennsylvania

i was doing stand-up where jr's uh yeah yeah the one where yeah um so i was driving all around and doing all that and then i still had to keep my grades up for my scholarship and just because i would didn't want to deal with my family so i was like snorting adderall just like nuts like bad you know i knew we were gonna get here eventually have you ever snorted adderall to pass a test i do you do it to party and stuff yeah no shit yeah you're you you you were doing the right things you just needed to shift your focus dude i was so sleep deprived i started hallucinating like i couldn't like it was bad like not not like full on hallucinating but that thing where you can't tell what's real what's so yeah where you are yeah um like i was driving

sometimes i'm like how about i get here oh i hate that you're like so tired you're like i just miss those ten those last ten exits what the fuck maybe it's time to pull over have a stick or something it's dragging a fed spine gang let's talk about one of our favorite new sponsors of course i'm talking about helix mattress oh yeah you don't just go in and buy one nope all right they take the time they want to know about you yeah so you take the sleep quiz and you find out how you're sleeping yeah and they've come up with a way to develop mattresses for every type of person oh yeah people who get hot at night people who get too cool at night and guess what they got for the big man what's that they got the plus size mattress out there they got a little baby they got the soft

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dot com and use promo code garbage to save 10 percent and breathe in the benefits of the world super plants today guys one more time get your pencil whatever you need write it down that's www dot breathe fume dot com fume fum dot com use promo code garbage the link will be in the description just click on it save 10 percent and breathe in the benefits of the world super plants today now back to the show i could dude i there was my parents never your parents even know what an a plus there was there was your parents are like see mine is all right you're the smart one there was such zero pressure on academics and look how you turned out well i think i mean you just read her i am bd it took 15 minutes she's a fucking worker yours is i'm on a yg comedy

podcast the kippy bill but i'm just saying i think they just knew from jump street that this one's not gonna yeah yeah for sure so that's crazy that you fucking drove yourself nuts with all that stuff yeah well as you could see it in your comment and the way you're just your work at sure like your comedy work ethic is fucking bananas it is it's literally crazy it's not healthy like i'm definitely gonna spy i'm gonna spiral out publicly at some point and it's gonna be bad you know like i know that's gonna happen i'm trying to like chill the fuck out but it's like don't enter in science contests and stuff like that i'm gonna win i'm gonna win huh man it's cuckoo all right let's talk some let's talk some basics um what was the name of the street that you

grew up on so whichever house you were at the longest i'll let you use i'll say probably bingham's oh no well actually hot old barn road was probably oh i shouldn't have said the number we can believe that we can believe it out we'll believe it out old barn road yeah wow that's pretty class that's what that's that might be one of the that's old barn road what kind of car did your dad drive um toyota yeah oh wait but he my mom drives the toyota he has a super room super oh no no mozda i'm bad with cars it was a mozda that's what it was a mozda on old barn road something's not at all mark that down a mozda i don't know anybody that drives a mozda was a truck uh minivan minivan we didn't have a construction truck for work because at that point he wasn't doing that at

that point he had a a guy that did the contracting for him huh i don't get his fingers dirty smart god so i wasn't driving a beamer or mercedes or i think it's a cultural thing yeah and typically the indians the indians aren't that flashy they're very it's very we tell akasha this it's very straight up the middle reliable you know what i mean but they will value you can get a lot of you get the same use out of a mozda that you get out of a beamer and also my parents were never like rich rich you know like old barn road pretty good old barn road a lot of that money was going to property tax you got to keep that school going hawthorne heights or what was it called hawthorne woods yeah okay what was the name of the grocery store that your mother went to

what you were growing up uh jul oscoe that's a very chicago toby how's that check out on the scale that's the down the that's the down the middle it's it's a public it's a harris teeter it's it's uh who the hell is harris teeter i don't i don't know that i don't know that i stopped in chicago references with chicago reference it's just like mccluskies you don't want to talk about that on third street those are all southern ones it's like a stopping shop okay classy right up the middle gotcha gotcha gotcha interesting did your your parents didn't call it jewels did they no very classy okay why because fucking trash bags in chicago we're going down to joules going down to joules get the deep dish at joules get a frozen deep dish they got the rotisserie chicken down here i don't know how

they cook it on wednesdays um today oh yeah dude rotisserie special on wednesdays wednesdays four dollars did um did the house on old barn road have a garage yeah did you have a refrigerator in that garage no really yeah well you were a one fridge house yeah wow huh no ice pops no sodas no nothing like that they just went in the freezer yeah really were you allowed to have that stuff when you were a kid yeah uh yeah my dad also had like a huge sweet tooth so i all i remember is my mom just yelling like you're eating all the ice cream like that was i might do this was last weekend um okay and then that garage did that garage door have an opener yeah oh was there a code pad just like the button yeah the clicker gotcha everybody had a clicker in their car

did you have a car in high school no how'd you get to school uh bus just the bus okay your parents didn't drive you no new ruling your parents drive you to school your trash yeah i got driven to school every day it's crazy but you're you're divorced dad this is high school too i don't know why he has to be divorced i don't know why we're bringing up old shit he's also a human being he's also a fucking taxpayer in the business owner last time i checked i got damn american no i've been thinking about this that's that that's trash in high school no i thought that was like what no it's not classy yeah no you know what's you know what's trash wait on a fucking corner at 6 15 your dad dropping that that's that school sitting on all over it weird fucking brown plastic

seats that you're sliding all over no seatbelts see that was fun you you mixed them with everybody you can't you can only look you only go exactly what you experience i think it's a tough look if your dad's dropping you off at school in high school and then giving you lunch my mom did the same thing i wasn't waiting for the bus i said yo toad start the car wasn't there a bus stop it while long get a fucking sizzling which we did uh yeah there was a bus that came and got everybody we drove by those fucking bozo see that's weird i'm if i was your friend of the bus why are you doing your mom dropping you listen i wasn't friends with the kids on the bus okay i was friends with other kids that got driven to school ah so i see what this was you were running from a bully

soup is in there taking a taking a like a jam i'll do your homework fucking getting wedgies and shit um would you all sit down and have dinner together yeah every every night yeah no tv oh was there tv i don't think so no i don't think there was tv did you eat in the kitchen or the dining room dining room really well yeah was there a table and like did you also have a kitchen table no no so it was like a kitchen and then there was like a table like a seating area and then there was like a fancy dining room but we ate in like you ate in like the kitchen with a more generic in the kitchen yeah okay all right just say if you're eating the dining room every night that's a high class just sitting on the opposite end

because every two candles going did you ever have milk with dinner growing up no yeah all right take it easy yeah she just she couldn't that was a body reaction she had i can't help it's like every villain in every movie now just drinks milk with a straw it just creeps me out it's true ever since hans lander i tell you what that scene in glories pastors makes me want a glass of milk so bad and the farm the nazi who murders all the innocent people i'll tell you as an actor he drinks a really good glass of milk i'm sorry i'm not connecting to the to the content material of the or the character he's playing and milk look good okay all right um growing up did your family drink tang no i don't think we had i think we may have had tang like once we had those mondo you know

those mondo drinks with the twist top off of those are good mondo what are we talking about it was a trashy uh fuck what was the other way it's not the not the thin no that was cool you twist it those things were real garbage no those things are plants when it comes mondos are below those no yes mondos are the power aid if if the gatorade or the skinny things toby can you look up oh you have the mondos are fucking awesome what's the name the kool-aid things the kool-aid bottles what were they jammers do you remember the kool-aid jammers coming coming to pouch no those are class they look it's plastic but it's soft plastic and it looks like a like a glass bottle of coca-cola these things kool-aid bursts yeah those things are garbage no well the mondo is the shittier

version of this that's what you were rocking yeah they were great they were bigger you kids in the 90s i don't know hey mondo juice here it is uh i don't even have wait they don't even come up oh yeah these look at that that's it looks like they fished it out of a river that's a bad look yeah and then they discovered what happened to that missing girl it was one win mine's got a tooth in it those things you definitely bought warm they weren't in they weren't in the in the cooler they weren't in the freezer section no they were not your grosser's freezers that's trashy so that was the that was the drink they had that a lot yeah any frozen orange juice at your house frozen orange juice i don't think so no okay fridge very interesting i like it at any point

did your family use i can't believe it's not butter no okay we used butter in indian butter ghee i just my my girl my wife got me on the ghee that shit is top notch first of all it's 35 bucks a jar she's like go get the ghee i'm like what the fuck but my mom didn't use butter that much she always tried to cook healthy so most of the time it was olive oil always trying to substitute that shit class have you ever eaten a hard boiled egg in public yeah oh yeah they're great that's not a good what was your lunch in high school do you remember what were you taking my mom would pack it so it was always a mess um sometimes she would just do you know what was the worst is when she would try to combine leftovers and then just call it something new

that's bad like that's a bad look when you open that up you open that bag up and who the fuck got left bro i'll never forget her version of an indian burrito it was just like leftover indian food in a tortilla it was the most disgusting i was like what did you do oh my god it was not great um but we also got lunchables sometimes that was all right okay okay back and forth in the fire i know lunch we never got lunchables oh man too expensive yeah well they're saving money on the mandal not going name brand you know i'm reading even the wikipedia on mandos as if it resembled kool-aid bursts you can't send your kids to school with leftovers though that was i would i would have marched right out of that cafeteria stolen a bus drove home and fucking had it had

at it with my mother oh buddy the lunch the leftovers were the least of my problems she's getting swirly what are you talking about she's having to get a break and eat her indian burrito a fresh sandwich and a cupcake and a can of soda or something like that i would get like zebra cakes and stuff like those um little debbies with like the rainbow chips oh those were the shit things were all right okay okay um do you wear pajamas yeah you do you put on like a pair of matching pajamas before you go to bed yeah that's class that's pretty fucking class that's classy i'm all about that that's all thorn heights right there that is all thorn forest or wood because i'm all about that these days i don't do it personally yeah you were pajama pants into here

the other day because i'll sweat but i think it's classy that people that when they like how you're getting into the idea of people wearing pajamas well at the end of the night you're like you brush your teeth and all stuff you change in your pajamas maybe you have a robe on in your slippers i like that's classy as fuck you don't wear fucking pajamas sleeping your jeans dude yeah yeah i got shit to do i wake up ready dog do you sleep with socks on no uh but it's i think that's also part of growing up in a conservative household is like you can't just be like sleeping in your underwear or some shit like what if i have to that was always great do you ever go to someone's house they like where they're under like kids come down in their boxes and shit you're like yo dude fucking put it

away will you my mom's making pancakes not at sleepovers did you like that but i sleep in my skivvies that's how i operate yeah i'm saying when you're living with your parents you're a 45 year old man you can do it now walking around in your white yeah grabbing an oj holy shit if you sleep in your socks you're a fucking serial killer yeah i don't know dude if you sleep in your socks that is so trashy i'll get in the bed sometimes and forget to take them off you know i actually do the little thing with my feet scoot your mouth find them in the morning but down by the end of the bed okay i don't know i mean this guy i thought we were sharing stories yeah i know how you take your socks off when you're in bed um are any of your bills on autopay yeah what ones all of them

all of them wow at 69 episodes of jim jeffrey's i gotta have a little bit of cash you gotta be doing all right you're very successful damn autopay you pay your credit card at the end of every month really you own an american express card can you pay my credit card what you're supposed to security number wait you have an american express card which what color is it uh gold the one for the flights that's the limit on that we talk about this stuff all the time oh i have no idea i should probably i wasn't she was just like why these these guys are getting super fucked up oh we asked this shit all the time mine's can i get a routing number from here mine's currently 200 folies is 500 five bills baby clean lives that's what our credit

limits not showing off that's patreon.com folks slash are you garbage what about do you know what your frequent flyer miles are up to right now i think it's like 10 000 i don't know did you travel thousand that's it i got nine with wine airlines i i travel but i've also used them like as soon as i can get a ticket i like yeah i used to do that too all right pretty sharp when you travel on the plane will you bring food on the plane uh sometimes what kind of food are we talking here i mean it's the airport so whatever the hell i can get will you get like a burger and bring it on will you eat would you eat like hot food smelly food probably she was in indian burritos what are you talking about that's tough that's not classy bro the worst was i was on a like a

chinatown bus to boston and this dude whipped out a full low main container and just started scarfing it i was like oh it was so gross there was so much sauce low main i'll give you that come on that was one of my questions too when was the last time you were on a mega bus um i want to say it was like i was had to be living in new york and like on my way to like boston or something couple years ago yeah okay that's what mega but even if you have a little bit of cash a lot of people in new york take mega bus i like mega bus because you're stuck like a lot nobody has a car amtrak the other way is like 500 bucks to get anywhere on amtrak mega bus bathroom is what created coronavirus i've never had to use a mega bus bathroom thank god i have but yeah we take

your shoes off on an airplane no never no neck pillow yes okay i mask um i have it but i very rarely i'll cedar window depend if it's early morning and i'm gonna be sleeping i'll take the window so i don't get bothered when people get up to go to the bathroom but if it's like midday or something i'll take the aisle because i'm antsy yeah i gotta i gotta have the experience traveler yeah gotta be sign a class right there um do you prefer dunk and donuts or starbucks um i don't like they're both too expensive like i like either making it myself or going down to a boat if you live in queens you can get like a dollar bodega coffee yeah yeah yeah so i think that's better because i'm like it's the same shit although if i am like feeling like spending

money then i like starbucks colbru but i don't get it off yeah do you ever use any recycled glass containers to have coffee or or a water in or something uh well that's all my my boyfriend owns all the dishes so he has mason charge that's a trashy statement i think we've ever heard on the show my boyfriend owns all the dishes yeah what the fuck i'm taking the dishes oh yeah if he leaves me i have nothing uh i got i got nothing i have nothing i got an empty apartment uh no because i was like 50 50 between new york and la for like several years during the church every show yeah and so like i got rid of everything and i was just living out of two suitcases and then like oh this is probably the trashiest thing i ever did i initially i was living in this apartment

because i was broke and then i stayed there because it was so cheap but i was living in jackson heights i had five roommates my rent was four hundred dollars but i went thousand percent got what i paid for like at one point somebody pooped in the hallway and nobody could figure out who did it wait hold on one of the roommates yeah in the apartment hallway or in the hallway of the building no in the apartment hallway like on the way to the bathroom uh craigslist people crazy people and then like the lady and her boyfriend who were in charge were like these super religious taiwanese people and like uh the wi-fi network was prepare yourself for the day jc returns like there was talk about playing it cool bro there was like a b-cat is that a Floyd lyric

jesus they were actually really nice i was kind of scared of them at first but uh i ended up having to move out of an emergency and my rent was like month to month uh because it was part railway railroad so i had to walk through another person's apartment or room to get to my room sure and uh it was fine you know there was always like you know a little bit of tension between whoever was there but it was totally fine until this one girl moved in and definitely like i think it was the first time because she's right around that age where mental illness starts uh exhibiting so she started showing signs where like she's like you're moving things around my room and i'm like bro like why i'm not a nymph like i have to go to work in the morning i come back from shows i'm not like putting

your bottle so much off to the other i'm not moving your picture frame craigslist roommates yeah and she was like threatening she was like if i don't find my cell phone it's going down and then she found her cell phone but i was still really scared of her so i would i'm scared of her now i would walk through my room in a hoodie and i had like a full knife like it tucked into the sleep of my hoodie until i could get out of your comedy baby that was like the rest of the month and then i was like bouncing around from place to place so i got rid of all my shit and then i was that's how i ended up sleeping on garbage bags and then i was like 50 50 between new york and la and still everything i owned was in two suitcases so by the time my boyfriend like moved me in with

him everything was his he was like fema i know holy shit shout out to this guy oh it was crazy yeah i lived at derrick's place at one point for like a month super i know we were gonna get there now we're talking uh i i got one when was the last time you slept in a bunk bed oh right now uh that what the airbnb i'm staying at is it's actually nice but it's a bunk bed for some reason no so we can't be actually nice then suba is it a is it a queen bunk bed or is like a single no it's a single bed do they make queen size bunk beds where the fuck are you staying all right this is the king i gotta california king bunk that's not a bad idea well i was hoping two families i was hoping it was something why the that's the only bed yeah but it's like it's

not far from here like it's a really good location i don't know if you've been in new york on that long this location stinks i mean we walk by people shooting up every single day oh yeah for sure there's been several people outside of the apartment building it's all it's all armbears and stabbings around yeah it's not dead there was a jib don't worry i'm in the neighborhood guy i'm like i'm very concerned so hold on so you're in a you're in a one bedroom airbnb in the bedroom hold on i don't think that's correct well because it's like uh top the apartment is like a top and a bottom and there's a girl on the bottom and i'm on the top so when you got it on airbnb did you click entire place no i had a shared room um well it's not a shared room because she has her own

space downstairs and then i have my thing upstairs but there's no door between you it's like there's it's like a staircase with a curtain okay it's the same fucking what the fuck what i thought that was pretty nice so i can't get out of the airbnb for yourself don't go bro you should see where i'm staying hotel tonight it's like 99 bucks a night it wasn't bad i'm happy with the place so i'm like are you still sleeping with fucking crazy people in a railroad apartment yeah with a fucking knife on you yeah solving poop mysteries in the hole by the way my money's on the chick that you described as having mint in us no i'm pretty sure it was the alcohol did you move my poop i knew you moved my poop who touched my poop that was a shit in all way an hour ago where is it i know it's you super

man and so but in your section of this airbnb in your bedroom the only bed in there is a bunk bed yeah have a I can't even how insane is that i asked that question and she's sleeping in a fucking bunk bed as we speak that's insane like who would that what is it like an airbnb for two for two runaway eight-year-olds i go top bunk wait what there's no mattress on the top bunk oh my god that's dude that's a combination of two very tough look a bunk bed a bunk bed and a bunk bed with no top bunk yeah easier to chain people do it holy shit super there's something even worse i used to do when i came here but i feel like i shouldn't say this story out loud because it's just like embarrassing what was i doing ship it ship um okay so when i was in

between places and i was bouncing from place to place like i stirred it lily's place i stirred it derrick's place this was right after i had to leave because that roommate was starting to kill me and i was like had one does and i kept finding these great deals i was like well i could sign something but this is so cheap and then i kept taking things for a month at a time out of my mind there's only two corpses it's a great deal it's fine you're very like even if you have the money you still like to do things in a responsible i'm getting better i think it was just like being traumatized from like immigrant parents who would not spend money of course of course and then not having money for so many years yeah yeah of course like when i first came to new york and

then just being like it's gonna run out and then what do i do i'm homeless because my family hates me uh so i was just like panicking and then breezed over that but i'm i'm warped right now but i'm getting better at like spending money on stuff but it's like i still have that mentality we're like this is a deal you live below your means in a responsible yeah i respect that normally do every now and then i'm like what the fuck did you just buy uh but i set up bunk beds there was um i was tweeting about like um that roommate being uh crazy you know and wanting uh you know scaring the shit on me and this a guy who like hangs around comedy is like hey i have a spare bedroom uh plenty of comics have crashed here this is blah blah blah like you can stay as long as you

want i don't know who hangs around comedy he's like a comedy super fan you've seen those people you know uh yes yeah so he was like a guy you want to live with and he was so nice for so long and i was like okay and then it was a luxury apartment on the upper east side with a spare bedroom but his mom was also there so yeah yeah so it would be like his mom this dude and then i would come and crash especially when i was back and forth between new york and la i was like this solves that um and i was like whatever it's fine was it his room or an extra bedroom extra bedroom so so there's an extra bedroom in this apartment yeah in this big luxury apartment yeah yeah that just comedy fans that you understand so it's like okay with his mother yeah he's an he's an

like a grown man yeah like 30s 40s 50s i think he's late 30s maybe in his 40s all right yeah who's for sure listening to this yeah oh god i hope not but um long story short uh he was super nice and i don't even know like i didn't catch him doing anything i just i just i just saw him walk into the room i was staying butt naked once and i was like okay that's where the a c is is he touching my stuff what's going on but i panicked and immediately left like that night i was like i need to get the fuck out of there you were in the room no um okay i put because i noticed stuff around my room was like moving and then i saw his glasses with him so i put a webcam on the door and so i recorded him walking and naked and then i was like what is happening

dude what the fuck i should it's like 127 episodes i'm speechless i think for the first time this is fucking bunkers i know i shouldn't have i shouldn't have been there and i don't know that he was doing anything creepy he was his place i wasn't there he was just walking around naked in his own place like you can do that but i'm sure but it was enough to scare me to be like get the fuck out of there that was enough to scare me how in the back he's living with his mom i'm like i have a job what is wrong with me um yeah killing me now tracking him but it was like free and it was such a nice yeah there was a bad situation yeah i know i know crazy what was the mom like she was so she was dead i don't know she just sat in a rocking chair all day with sunglasses on but

that's the thing is i really liked the mom like i liked them so it was just like i probably should have asked questions but i didn't i was just like get me the fuck out just son of your son of creep out oh shit yeah that scared me i was like what get out get out now man something else yeah that was bad that was like real dirt bag shit because i i think i was just so used to like living like that got you even when i started making money sure i didn't stop and it's like yeah that's not okay like you need to because you end up in situations where your roommate wants to kill you and there's a naked guy in your bedroom i mean if you're even living in a place where like i think i should set up a webcam to see what's happening when i'm not here that's enough sign to get the fuck out of

there yeah it's because like it's because if you have a if you have a sense where like i need to set up a camera when i'm gone well honestly going on i wouldn't have even done that if it wasn't for my boyfriend because i was talking to him and i was like i found his glasses in my room is that weird and then my boyfriend literally said that this was the first thing he said off the hippies like the only reason that man takes his glasses off is to put underwear on his face and i was like what pretty good boy i always take mine on your wear on his face i was like that's which is upsetting because he wears glasses i was like wait what your boyfriend i was like wait what have you been doing when you take your glasses off so i've heard but i was like that's an insane statement

but it made me feel like scared enough to put the webcam i think he was right man i don't know i don't know nefarious was going on i don't know i can't know that so i don't want to put that on that dude i just want to say like it did creep me out enough just having a naked roommate to be like i think that's enough finding yeah why would you be taking your glasses off what are you doing i don't know what he was fucking you know he still had some stuff in there i don't want to i'm not going to make any assumptions all i can say is the facts i'm going to be very legal assumptions he did the right thing um have you ever seen either one of your parents get thrown in a pool no my mom would murder my dad uh it's classy anyone in your family have a customized license plate

no any runaways in your family uh clearly any other runaways in your family not that i know of but i don't know my family super well because most of them are in india you know okay have you or any member of your family ever had to hire a private investigator i don't think so not that i know of again okay have you ever had a pet bird no what was the pet situation growing up i wanted uh i wanted pets really bad my mom was terrified of animals like so scared so i got fish and like we had those for a little bit and then i kept wanting to get another thing that was like a little higher up than fish but it could never happen uh we got fish and then there was like a tiny little crab that was really cute and the

fucking the pet store said that he was totally fine with the fish we put him in and this motherfucker started skewering and just eating fish yeah he's a crab that's what they do yeah but the pet store employee totally didn't lie to us and my dad caught it on camera and i was like what happened to my fish and he's like oh you gotta see this and then just show me the video wait your dad set up a camera too what the fuck's with the aggro they don't fucking trust nobody with the audio video equipment yeah i'm surprised that when you walk in here you're like oh you guys film this because if not i got my cameras with me i could set them up i swear i do i honestly feel like more of a creep that dude was probably just chilling walking around naked and like offering me a free

place and i'm just ruining his reputation you do have a tripod in your bag right now i did jesus oh man have you ever used the chilled salad fork no do you currently own any champagne flutes i think my boyfriend might have one i don't know this guy sounds clear again all the i know him he's not yeah no he's not he's just much more of an adult than i am all right have you ever waited in the line to shop on black friday yes for what oh i don't even know i just wanted to see the deals you can't go kicking tires on black friday i got a good deal on a big steak knife in a webcam when was the last time you were at a marshals tj max or a raw stress for less oh my god probably a

few weeks ago i ain't nothing wrong with it ah that's trashy but did your father coach any little league teams that you weren't on oh god no he could barely he would not he would not do that no coaching okay solid i mean we're coming we're at trash right you've already entered the town of garbage i believe what i mean what what tipped what's what she got nothing going in her favor other than she was smart for a couple of hours back in middle school what was your first concert oh i went to a post malone concert um just recently yeah it was your first concert yeah well because too busy hitting the books that's literally what happened is like in high school i was just you know i wasn't allowed to fucking go anywhere and then in college i was

snorting at all like doing stand-up and like trying to keep my grades up and then i was doing stand-up all night every night and i just didn't have any friends and then um like real cool it was like i still have to like i'm like bad at being social because like my childhood was so stunted you know so i'm like i've gotten a lot better at talking to people and like hanging out and being a human being but like even recently Derek was like we're going down this side i was like i'm kind of tired he's like yeah of course super doesn't hang and then i like turned into my high school stuff i was like i can lean i can hang i'll do your homework i'll do your homework post malone how was the concert pretty good well okay this is embarrassing my friend had

an extra ticket so he got to and i had shows and he was like if you can come to any part of the concert just show up so i came for like half of the less but it was so yeah it really sounds like you're learning how to be more social i'm going to check 35 seconds in this post malone and i know you had a huge book bag on you when you showed up yeah with a bunch of stuff i actually changed to a giant purse that is technically luggage uh because munro kept making fun of me for having a backpack i bought a purse and i stopped wearing uh new balance sneakers now i wear boots soob you're killing me have you ever okay i can't ask that she knows what i was a concert question i looked at it um

did any of your bathrooms ever have carpeting growing up no any padded toilet seats no did you have a pool no hmm do you currently own a blow-up mattress no but i was looking into getting one you currently have a storage unit somewhere uh no i just got rid of mine when i moved into like uh because my be my boyfriend moved in together and then i was at my studio and where you live where does your boyfriend live he lives in los angeles oh you're so you're you're based out of elena yeah okay buddy i don't know what to tell you his kids yeah i mean she seeks out dangerous living situations no now i'm doing better she stays she goes by herself she's good with audio video equipment she knows how to use a knife

it was snort and adderall to study snort and adderall to study goes to a half apparently tonight is going to rest her head in a bunk bed man that's garbage soup throwing through i was shocked she i did not see this going this way i knew we'd get you a little bit with the comedy stuff and but man setting up webcams yeah that was bad i feel bad about doing that i should have just like i don't know you did the right yeah you did the right thing you shouldn't have been living there in the first place i was so and there was one point where his family went on vacation so it was just me in a luxury apartment cat setting i was like this is the fucking greatest yeah that's what you think there

was people in the closet i'm here all alone yeah that's what they want you to think soobs they were charging two grand apiece of the through the painting eyeballs falling the around fucking the apartment feels like someone else is in this apartment there is super agarwal ladies and gentlemen oh man what a fucking home run of an apcarbaggio crazy so what do you got coming up you want the folks to know about um i would say just follow me on instagram at subaha that's also very bad suvha ha on twitter at suba um yeah watch the plan b movie on hulu cool fantastic very funny suvha agarwal ladies and gentlemen kippy what do you got format uh you know as always rave review subscribe on itunes full video available on youtube patreon.com and the live

shows guys we have fucking so many live shows we have chicago there's still some tickets left indy atlantic city is about to settle out we have rhoda island boston cleveland columbus strut magoobies stress factory and we're adding more texas and stuff is coming soon get involved yeah come see us gang we love you we'll see you next week peace