Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Summer Lovin' w/ Joe List!

Episode Date: September 2, 2024

Are You Garbage presents stand up comedian and podcast host Joe List! You know Joe from Tuesdays with Stories w/ Mark Normand, The Joe Rogan Experience, Kill Tony, We Might Be Drunk, Stavvy's World, Soder Podcast, Stand up comedy and more! Thanks for watching Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast. Come to a live show! AYG Live Show Tickets: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Helix Sleep: https://www.helixsleep.com/Garbage Promo Code: Garbage Blue Chew: https://bluechew.com/ Promo Code: Garbage Liquid IV: https://www.liquid-iv.com Promo Code: Garbage Tushy: https://hellotushy.com/ Promo Code: Garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tension Middle America in the heartland the boys are about to set out on that old American pastime route 66 come out and see the boys. We're gonna be doing shows all over Chicago to LA We're filming the whole thing. So it's gonna be absolutely fun and special come hang We also got Philadelphia Parks casino and Ben Salem in December tickets going quick for that get them all tickets available at are you garbage? Dot-com will see you there gang. Welcome to another exciting edition of are you garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians

are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is R U Garbage. Oh yeah. It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians

and we find that it's a good to be classy. Yeah. After just a big old piece of trash. Trash, trash, trash. I'm your host H Foley coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Tooties in the new edition. She caught Kevin beating off this morning. I wasn't supposed to say anything. I didn't know she saw me. She

could have came in and said hello. She got a peek. My co-host is coming at you from right next to me. He is the CEO of RU Garbage. He is an international businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world. Give it up for KJ. Kevin James Ryan. What's up everybody? Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you rate, you subscribe on iTunes full video available on YouTube. Then obviously the greatest website in the world. You go over there, www dot patreon dot com slash r e garbage.

You get all that bonus content needs gang and gang. We couldn't be more excited that were incredibly and I mean incredibly special guests back with us again today. He officially takes the title of the most repeated guest here at Aunt Tootie's and we have a special gift for him. I'm touched. This is unbelievable. This is your eighth appearance on the show. Is that right? That's right. Eighth appearance and what we have for you is an AYG solid gold sweatsuit. Thank God it's not sushi.

Cause it was in a sushi bag and I was, he's gonna freak out. My brain was like going like flipping around. I'm like, I'm gonna have to come up with an excuse. Hope you like Gooney. You went vegetarian. This is spectacular. There you go buddy.

Oh my God, it's a matching. It's a matching golden tracksuit baby. The first winner of the golden tracksuit. This is tremendous. I'll wear this out. I'm sure you will will take my club. I don't need this anymore. This is unbelievable. Thank you. I'm so tough I'll go put it on and show us Special occasions Reminds is a great Boston comic named Paul Nardizzi and a joke about you ever get a gift and someone goes

Hey, I kept the receipt. He goes. Yeah, go get it Paul Nardizzi had a joke about it. You ever get a gift and someone goes, hey, I kept the receipt. He goes, yeah, go get it. Made me laugh. This is very sweet. I appreciate this on treasure. Thank you, buddy.

We appreciate all your love and all your support over the last few years. And you're just one of the best and we love you. Absolutely. I don't think, I mean, Ian might be sick. I mean, you're out in the lead by a minute. I thought it was Ian, but he's dead. He took his own life.

I'm in the lead. God rest his soul RIP IAN How's life treating you with the baby? So first time back since you're you're you're a father now I got a father and I have to make him not garbage as best I can Okay, kind of fun. You said I got a father. I got a father So you can see where my mind is that as I'm what I'm doing is going through how I grew up And I still have a father and a mother sure have you find yourself doing anything that your dad used to do with you

Yeah, maybe too little at this point No Well, I'm realizing that my dad gave me a lot of things that I didn't realize like I would deal to do and you guys Gonna this is garbage. Maybe but I was giving up the thermostat Get out of the fridge. I was doing I was doing one two buckle my shoe three four close the door yeah yeah you guys ever have that yeah it all just comes back yeah yeah I can't do it again little bug big bug my dad would do that to me oh I didn't have a little bit I got a huge bug and then I do a trot trot to Boston trot trot to Lin careful

little Marty that you don't fall in and you drop them through Your lap which I thought everyone knew but we would boss in town We would do see that'd be weird if we were doing it We did like it was a toilet you'd sit on their legs and they'd fly this is weird now that I'm saying it out loud Yeah, I've never said this out loud, but we flushed the baby on the baby You would put your hand out and they would hit it like it. And then you would drop. Oh, that's nice.

Yeah, we were in the little scat kind of stuff. If you catch my drift. We I also do on the knee. I do put a bump, but a bump. Oh, of course. That's a classic. Yeah. The Lone Ranger.

That's that. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, that's pretty good. So I do those things and yeah, I haven't hit him yet. But getting close. A little attitude on his kid. No, it's great. It's a lot of fun. He's just he's not walking or anything like that He's crawling he crawls, but he'll he hold if he braces himself He can kind of shuffle carry holding on to something, but I also think he could walk, but he doesn't

Understand it yet like I'll hold his hands like this I'll take a step and then just go to the grid like be like I gotta crawl What are you doing gotcha so he lacks confidence like his old man. Is he is he still all formula or is he eating some real food? Oh he eats pizza and french fries. Well Sarah's got is doing the feeding so I'm like I'm in the I'm in the in the cut you don't feed him at all. I'll feed him but like I don't make the decisions. She's making the food and being like this. She has an app that's like, you can have this. Because I'm like, a hot dog?

And she's like, what are you crazy? Did you say, feel the dreams? You're fishing in a pond. But yeah, he eats blueberries and oatmeal and what else? Peanut butter. Because peanut butter? You got to give him peanut butter early. It turns out we've been a big fuck up as a society.

Babies eating peanut butter? Cause they pulled it out, right? They said don't give the baby peanut butter and lo and behold, that's how you get peanut butter allergy. So now as soon as he's born, they'll like shove his face in the peanut butter or he's gonna die someday. So I stick it right in his mouth. He loves it.

He does like, it's beautiful. He loves it. He passed all his allergy to you got to give him fish and Shellfish and you're making them lobster crap. Oh, yeah, you don't eat shellfish I wouldn't touch shellfish with the stolen dick. It's not my child. No, but yeah, he's eating everything There's something you say you all you would be allergic to like when you're ordering or you're like, I don't want to do that. I'm allergic and just make that up. That's a great out. I've had that with mushrooms.

I'll do that in for breakfast. I'm not a meat guy for breakfast. Really? I know. Okay. Hey, to each their own. I don't know. Bacon, no sausage. And so I'll say I'm a vegetarian because I want to give me the eggs.

I try to do. I try to do the the trade-off I said, can I get a fruit cup instead of bacon? And then they go well Terian, especially a diner they hold on to those fruit cups Like it's the fucking cure for cancer and fruit cups vary sometimes you get a good fruit cup And sometimes you get it's all melon mostly think Yeah, mostly hard melon and it has like that Has like that it's almost like a spice to it like the juice in it spicy talking about spicy juice

Yeah, breakfast at an Indian joint What are you talking fruit cup Marsala? I? Don't know the spicy juice if they put a grapefruit in it the juice at the bottom has like a little oh Remember like like the way Sunny D would like burn a little bit No, no, I'm crazy here. Sunny D. I'm not you know, sunny delight, right? I know so he but we weren't sunny D people What was the OJ in the house? I think Like a minute man was one of the ones with the yeah minute made chopper. Yeah, chopper canna. Maybe yeah I can't remember it's unkissed. You don't like to do like the little jugs the little juice barrels

Remember they have like a spice Has like that at the bar. I see yeah, I love those juice barrels I like a mixed berries is the way to go blackberry strawberries blueberries. That's a nice fruit cup blackberry raspberry actually do fuck with me I get like it looks like I had a lip injection. I get like puffy lips. Yeah, I'm allergic I'm allergic to this I found out it's a real pleasure. This is getting both acts He does it before late night appearances Yeah, I'm allergic to the proteins in the skins of fruit and vegetables I'm not I'm not fucking proud of it, but it is what it is a roll carrot. What's your beef with mushrooms?

You don't like mushrooms. I'm not a mushroom guy really, but it is what it is a roll car. What's your beef with mushrooms? You don't like mushrooms Yeah, I'm not a mushroom guy. Yeah, we're very similar portabella Oyster, I would I don't like I don't want a mushroom no mushroom. Yeah, I never even did like drug mushrooms That's how much you don't like I used to love getting fucked up, but I don't touch the mushy. I don't do drug mush I don't do mushrooms. Yeah, no I think gross to me. They're a plant. There's icky. Okay, buddy I'm right there with you. Uh, sorry guys I was gonna say is the baby sleeping in a room with you guys or does he got his own crib?

No separate room. We did a good job sleep training. We shoved him out there He cried and all that stuff and then you just Sarah and I reverse gender roles. I'm like I gotta go get him He's crying. She's like shut up you piece of shit. We're never gonna sleep again. I can't even eat blackberries He he sleeps through the, seven to seven, which I've been saying this on stage, people are like, well, no more sex, you got the baby now, I'm like, you guys been at 7 p.m.? What are you talking about?

I got all night. I can wait him out. He sleeps 15 hours a day, we can have sex whenever we want. Yeah, Jeopardy hasn't even started yet, what are you, nuts? Yeah, he sleeps through the night, it's great, and then, yeah, he wakes up, and it's, and he doesn't even wake up crying.

He's like a really good kid. He doesn't wake up crying He'll just we have the monitor and he'll just be sitting up just kind of goofing around coming away. What's up, man? I gotta ask you especially with switching over to Regular food has the dump situation the dumps now are nice. They're like, that's another thing people They're delicious guy really loves his kid They're like kind of usually like a ball every once in a while it'll get mushy and wild. Hey who don't? Yeah I got that right now. Exactly but usually it's just like a nice solid turd and it's not even a big mess. The problem is now he doesn't want to be Jay

as soon as you take him out he's it's like a it's a freaking out it's a change in six parts you got it he rolls away. You gotta get him back. He pees on the rug, but it's all fun Okay, were you doing hand-me-downs people giving you hand-me-downs? No, no hand-me-downs, but being a popular public figure as we are sure I mean we got sent I have I'm not joking and I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings is it's funny I appreciate all of them We got 50 my father's gay My father's literally I'm not kidding There's got to be 40 onesies that say my father's gay and people don't know because we're in New York

So people are like, oh his father's gay. They're talking to Sarah and she's like it's a Seinfeld reference Who are you? George I don't know what to tell you. That being said, I'm sorry. You said you have to make a correction from your last appearance. Yes. OK, so last time I was on the spot,

and I'm not a good off the cuff thinker. Most comedians are. I can't just come up with stuff off the top of my head. This is all scripted. I'm no good off book. You asked me my favorite one time character on sign for one off who's only appeared in one episode. I have mine.

Yes, and I couldn't come up with one. And then later this happened. Remember when you were a kid, you went to the CD store, and then you have 10 CDs in your mind that you want. And when you get there, you're like, I can't remember any of that. Of course. So I had that.

I left. My number one favorite character one-off the great John Fabro Eric the Clown. That scene is amazing. You're living in the past man. What was he a clown? This is just a gig. You're hanging out with some clown from the 60s man. What are you hassling me for? It's amazing. It's just a gig or something. Yeah this isn't my life. That performance is amazing. I think they should give Oscars or not Oscars, Emmys, whatever the bullshit is, to just one part, one thing. He should get an award. That's great. That is a great one. Yeah. That one that's, I've done this with Norman, with Don Lee, Andy Fiore. That is that's all the big Seinfeld.

That's one that's flown under the radar. That is a fantastic. That's a good one. I've thought about this in recent months as well, because I've been watching a lot of sign. I go through cycles. I watch two shows. I watch sopranos and I watch Seinfeld on a regular basis. You're you're you're drumming up some bad blood here. I'll do. I know it is like sopranos. I love it. It's great. I'll do I'll do 30 rock every once in a while, but I can only watch it on peacocks got the commercials

It drives me crazy So I just go through phases where I just start cooking and I've been through Seinfeld lately I have three the moil. It's gotta be the every word is a punch every line is a punchline It's crazy the moil and then I have the pool guy. Oh with Ramon as a punchline. It's crazy. The moil and then I have the pool guy. Oh, Ramone. With Ramone? Unbelievable. I gotta go. I'm a pool guy. And then this one's really more for personal reasons because I see a lot of myself in him is Buckles. The comedian that he goes around with. Buckles is great. It's very nice. I can't do the voices. Jerry, don't start up with me. I turn her

in traffic. Can I leave my coat in your closet? I'm busting it to seams, Jerry, don't start up with me! I turn her in traffic. Can I leave my coat in the closet? I'm busting it to seams, Jerry, just for a couple of months. We're riffing, Jerry! You're riffing, I'm ignoring. Great show. He's such a dick to buckles. Why? Yeah, I don't know. Well, I think we all know a buckles. I think I'm buckles, that's why.

You're not buckles, are you crazy? I got your coat in my closet right now. Yeah, you do. There you go. Jerry, I want I got your coat in my closet right now. You do Jerry I want you to have this Can't do the voices. It's very nice But Eric, I mean every single lie it's incredible and the way he's kind of ignoring him he goes. Yeah No, no dismissive it the way says no, it's so fun when you look back on it I mean, I don't know how anybody could have predicted how much of an insanely successful director and filmmaker and producer that Jon Favreau is gonna be.

But man, you really see the talent in that. Just like the way somebody just could have done that and like not phoned it in, but he made it so memorable, man. It's amazing. It's so good. It's great. B-O-Z, no! B-O-Z-O. All right, another thing we've been doing on the show It's amazing. So good. It's great Boz. No

All right, another thing we've been doing on the show since you've been here last is we Find out what high school you went to and find out if you're on the notable alum on Wikipedia I'm gonna I'm gonna if I am NOT I'm gonna be furious. I might be number one. I don't know What was I went to Whitman Hanson High School regional high school. There's a kid named Adam Conover I think wait is that the guy in the TV show I believe so I think this guy's also Adam Conover Oh Adam ruins everything yeah, but this is a different Adam Conover Who's that he got drafted and I think he played professional football for the Tennessee Titans. That guy didn't play for the Titans. No no no no He's no yeah, but I think I think that's his name, okay, and I don't know how many other notable people for whip enhancing But we are the birthplace of the chocolate chip cookie. Yes, which is my favorite of the cookies well documented look to the cookie

Joe list born 1982 stand-up comedian What number is he on there? He's middle a strong top of the middle who else is on there? What else you got Lenny Baker Nick? Sean Conover not Adam Conover Athletes yeah, Joe list is the only notable person to me on this list. Thank you very much Yeah, it's are tough to beat you get some fucking kicker for the Saints or something like that And they put them on the list. Yeah, he was a bit and he was a big guy He came to a show in Nashville recently because I was a huge we might have discussed

I was a huge high school football school spirit got painted my face the capes the afro This is a you had the realization that you might have not been in school or we had the real realization I'm still getting people. It's crazy. much shit I get about the pep rally. It's insane. Poker games, pep rallies. Poker and pep rally. I'm not pushing back. You can go to my yearbook.

I'm like, I'm all over the place. You guys know Sean Cullover? Buddy of mine. I got two high school football games this weekend coming up. I got a Friday night and a Saturday night. Who is it? Nephews? Yeah, nephew and cousin.

That's my cousin's not playing. He's he's injured right now. But we still got to go. What? You don't. Yeah, we're going to see the game. That's nice. That's good. You're going for the snack stand. Is he on the crutches with the jersey?

No, the crutches in the jersey, which has khaki pants. Yeah, it's it. I tell you what, I got hurt my here we go. Junior year. And for that month, when you're on the sideline with the clipboard and the hat and the knee brace, it's a pretty good feeling. It's like a quarterbacks coach over there. It makes me think of a election masterpiece.

Yes. What a film. Love it. Don't think I've seen. What? Really? I've missed a lot of a lot of classes. What's her name? Reese Witherspoon. Yes.

Young. You should watch. It's like one of the funniest movies of all time. Chris. It really is. Yeah, it's really good. Chris Klein's the injured player. Yeah. Directed that. What's his toes? Who was that? No, it's Alexander Payne. He did that in sideways. Yes. Very good.

Yeah. Another thing we've been doing, I don't think we did it with you. Who is the most famous person you met as a kid before you started doing comedy? Oh boy. Was there anybody, an athlete, or even it could be like a local regional like radio DJ or something? Marty Barrett I met. Which is funny because my son's name is Marty so it seems like I met him. This is heartbreaking.

That's a good name by the way. He did, thank you, strong my son's name is Marty, so it seems like, I met, this is heartbreaking. That's a good name by the way. He did, thank you, strong name. Marty List? Marty List. Whoa, Marty List is a reliable guy. Thank you. I would buy anything off of Marty.

Go see Marty List. What are you talking about? Come on down, Marty List. Well what's great about Marty is you have the fun name Marty and then Martin. He could run for office. Yes. But he can also, you know. I'm Martin List and I approved this message you can shoes off

Because I remember when my dad I have two significantly younger brothers when my dad was naming him He would he picked their names on how they'd be introduced in the made in the MLB like getting caught like next to he'd like next up The bat like did you have anything of like sure how betting? Marty list anything of like how betting Marty List. That's not bad. I mean he goes by Martin or Marty, whatever. All right.

He doesn't really know. He's not sure yet. He doesn't know what the hell we're talking about. Martin List is good. Kip, this is Tushy. Tushy. And I'll tell you what, they straighten me out. They had sent us two.

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Do it. What was Marty Barron? Oh, so Marty Barret was a player for the Red Sox. Okay. He was on the 86 World, won the ALCS MVP in 86. And he was- Oh, I knew you were talking about. Yeah, number 17, I believe.

Yes. Yeah, number 17. He made the last out of the 86 World Series also. But he was doing a meet and greet signing at Curtis Liquors, the liquor store, down the street from our house. And you had to go and buy a bottle. And my family was already there. My dad was buying something anyways. You lived down the street from a liquor store?

Oh, yeah. Well, how about this? Side note, me and my high school girlfriend I don't know if I told this before we used to hang there was a walk-in fridge We would go and hang out in the walk-in refrigerator Wait for what liquor store in the summer just for the cold air. It would be hot So we'd go in there be funny would sit on cases of beer and hang out. We were like 17. Nobody Nobody cared. He said boo

We're just in there. I mean that's wild. But anyway, so we went and I met Marty Barrett. But what was so heartbreaking was I was like maybe six or seven years old. And I was waiting and so excited. And I could see him up there. And it was like, you could feel celebrity vibe. Like, oh my god, I've seen him on TV. And I heard the liquor store guy lean into his ear and go,

couple more and you're out of here, pal. He's like, we got a half hour, you're gone. And he's like, thank you. And then he like patted him. And I heard that it was like devastating to me. And we realized that like, Marty Barrett doesn't want to meet me. He's not interested in meeting me.

You are your alcoholic barrett. And I actually think that liquor store guy's an asshole. Curtis, whatever. Like, come on, say that quietly. But anyways, he was famous-ish. I know, that's a big one. That's a that's a really good one We'll cut the line right before the goofy kid So he's hanging out in the walkin And I can't think of anyone else and maybe another base Tony Pena I met

Briefly on the street after a Red Sox game already sucks. Who is your local? Celebrity or who is your local news anchor up there? Who did you guys tune into we had a? Chet dick and Natalie that's pretty No, they're not you have to give It's gonna be a rough weekend, but telling me dick there was a comedian Mike Dunn of it Who's brilliant and hilarious and he had a joke they go stay tuned for Chet dick and Natalie and he's like I'll watch that Chet Chet dick and Natalie I think that was ABC or not ABC. What's the local a Channel 5 WCVB channel? Chet and dick

Damn, what's their last names? I have no idea Natalie Jacobson Okay, good ball. Oh, there she is Natalie Jacobson tribute to Dick Albert. Was it? Yeah, it's me a longtime meteorologist. Dick Albert. He was a he was a good Good good last name if you had to be Nightly the night the nightly news the five o'clock news. You can be the sports guy the meteorologist or the anchor the five o'clock news. You can be the sports guy, the meteorologist, or the anchor, or the guy that does the not the

puff pieces but like the the person like the yeah. Human interest. Yes, we're down here Curtis Lickers with Marty Barry and his weird kid who won't get off my leg. Heart broken kid. Uh I want to be the anchor I think. Okay. I want to be the head honcho. He's a headliner, this guy. I'm not Alpha, god damn it.

You wouldn't want to be a sports guy in Boston. I guess so. Maybe I would. Poison all the players. I mean, am I... See, I didn't know what you... I don't know if you meant like a beat writer or am I just the guy that they cut to the other side of the room and I'm like, they won. No, the guy who does sports. for now for this from Marty Liston sports Yeah, it's got a nice ring to it the Red Sox won five to three their struggles continue at the pitching though You know Rich Gedman stretched out his hamstring. I could do that pretty good. I mean you hit those pretty good, right? You got a chance that up a little bit

What a little? Rich gave it was a catcher. I just have to say that cuz I know one person's gonna go picture Rich Gedman I'm like, I'm just I'm not an improviser. You don't know what the hell you're talking about They got the teleprompter right there for you rich How could you trade Jay Buna? He's got a rocket for an arm Now you got Griffey and bonds in the same Hell of a show very good All right, let's get into some gosh darn Patreon questions. Gang, when you join the Patreon, we will answer your garbage question on the air. This one, this is one of this is this is from All Star Special. Is your check engine light on right now in your car? No, but I mean, I drove an 87 Buick Century for five years with a check engine light on. Yeah. I mean a hundred percent of the time.

But now I have a nice... Do we know the car now? We've had to have asked you this. A 2018 Nissan Sentra. Paid for with cash. Cash, cash or a check? A check. Sounds cool. I mean there was the money was in the bank. I gave them all the money in one swoop.

And by the way I talked about it during the pandemic. People got mad at me. They're like, you piece of shit. And I'm like, it's a used Sent by the way I talked about it during the pandemic. People got mad at me. They're like you piece of **** and I'm like it's a you centric. I'm like and it was all my savings. I'm not I'm not you know, you highfalutin. I'm not buying cars for my

buddy and be like, are you waiting on that check to clear? Do you want to see that go? I would be nervous about that. What do you mean? If it was a big enough check, I don't I like the payment to be taken out right away. Oh yeah. Yeah. Every morning to make sure there's no like overdrive or just like no, I like the payment to be taken out right away. Oh yeah. Are you checking every morning to make sure

there's no like overdrive or just like. No, I'm bad at my, I'm bad. I'm not a good at counter. And who's handling the books over there? You guys keep it separate or you guys all mixed in together? I think we're mixed in together. I don't really know. I bet you guys don't have a joint bank account.

No. No. No. I've, I've. You had a his and hers. I was checking that. I can't remember. Here you go, honey. Yeah, it's like, I ciphoned off some guys. You had a his and hers. I was checking. I gave her a few bucks. Here you go, honey. Yeah, it's like, I'm like Henry Hill on Christmas. Merry Christmas and happy Hanukkah.

Yeah, I got, I gave her a healthy allowance. Okay. I Venmo her a couple bucks here. Is that how you're doing it? You're Venmoing your wife too? I Venmo, yeah, she makes her own money as well. Of course, of course, but yeah. You know. Venmoing between a relationship. When I see that public, like I open it up, it's like. Oh, she makes her own money as well. Of course, but yeah, you know

Venmo in between a relationship. I see that public like I open it up. I go private you can't you gotta go probably you got cash app Thanks a lot for babysitting. It's a fun venmo who changing diapers. Just all pizzas. It's a lot of pizza All right, let's see here this one's from Scotty P from the block $10 home He never had one read have you ever tried to photocopy your face or but on a photocopier? I? Have not but I've been present for a photocopy, but situation high school Yeah, I did it. I did it heavy my dad would have to go into work with my dad on Saturdays and man It's a big copy machine You had work for that's what my face saw I did oh it wants me my brother found out we could do that It was over. Yeah, I never got in there, but I've got sort of seen it

I was too nervous it was in high school is the only copy machine I ever saw and it was like hey I can't be part of this. I'm the head of the pep rally What if they lock me up? Who's gonna paint the faces? I only worked in one office really, and I think I did it once a week. Yeah. That was my only access to it. Yeah. That's a good time. Probably not that great for your eyes.

I remember it burning so bad. Really? And then my brother found dust, like keyboard duster. Ooh, we fucking just put it in your hand. It would turn to like ice. Oh, yeah. Yeah keyboard dust off Yeah, we should do something different with that. Yeah, sure. I mean I was six. What are we talking butthole? Fucking get high off it. Yeah, I know about the huffing. Oh my bad. I pegged you I I mean for I mean I for what I know about you you probably never had a real job ever I mean, what was the last job it or what like do you remember like going like with him on?

You insult the kid. I know He's been a working comic for a very long. I didn't have a career, but I had many jobs I was I was never like I never like had a tie and I was like Pushing in or what are you doing down there TCB crackers crackers? No, I love one of my favorite versions of Kramer I worked I was a bartender for a bartender the cop bar when I was underage sure we talked about yeah And then I worked at Filene's which is the department's right fluff and fold I worked at FYE the record store, and then I did security at Sears loss prevention

So I had a guy job cover and that but since I moved to New York I had no jobs, but good people I people hear that and they're like nice But I'm like my electricity was turned on You're probably making six thousand dollars a year legitimately Yeah, like the taxes they were like, yeah, you don't have to Don't bother. Yeah, you money. Yeah, well, you're all set. They're speaking to work real quick Not to go back to Seinfeld, but I can't control myself there's two versions of There's two versions of My Baby Takes the Morn. Which one's better?

Kramer's going to the Brant Leland? That's it for me. Or George going to Play Now? Play Now. See, these now, George is tripping people. You don't like Play Now. These are both Post Larry's. I hate season eight and nine.

I don't hate it, but I don't care for them. I don't love them. But definitely Kramer. Festivus is opposed Kramer got the job at Brantley land at the photocopy machine. Oh I'm washing his feet in the thing. There's some great bits in there. That's great. There's great bits All right, let's see here. This is from Shanna Ever been to a funeral where free bird played on repeat leading up to the service? That's a bad funeral dude. That's insane. That wasn't of natural causes that funeral. That was something else

We were just at a I mean obviously, you know, you're you're trashy as well as us I we we were just at a we were at a funeral where they announced the where this the luncheon was after Yeah, man It was just like in the church in the church and it wasn't like at the pulpit yeah it's gonna be down at JD McGillicutties and price wings it was real I was like no those words have never been said in the house of God ever wow yeah we had we had a situation my grandfather died we were in the basement and having a couple cocktails as you do sure and like some kind of church official came by

I don't know if it was a security or a priest. I don't really know a lot of time in church President coming but they came by and it was my uncle Eli and I think my uncle Dougerson We had like a couple beers. He was like, oh no, I'm sorry gentlemen There's no alcohol allowed in the premises and we kind of looked and then he like took the coin, peeked in and we had a full cooler, like several cooler flipped up cocktails with limes. I mean, like, like, basement of the church. Yeah. And like the guy literally was like, ah, all right. And he just walked out. It was like the scene in the town. Yeah. got there so the setup shop to set up

shop and you're down there drinking beers yeah that's crazy cocktails like like full on like drinks yeah cuz like a lot of my family including myself we weren't big beer guy we were like Captain and Coke people mm-hmm yeah it was hardcore a whole family that drinks Captain and Coke is I didn't drink Captain Coke since after I turned 21 jugs It's coke as far as the eye can see and like and yeah Captain Morgan private stock the whole thing private stock big time Well, I'm especially if it was on sale at Curtis Lickers. Yeah If I was in there but for a signing sure

on sale at Curtis Lickers. If I was in there but for a signing sure. Holy shit. Sorry I also met Troy Brown at Johnny Food Master. Johnny Food Master. He's the supermarket. Johnny Food Master? That's the name of it. Is that a one-off? Sounds like a grocery store and karate club. I know. I think it might be Johnny's Food Master. More commonly known as simply as Food Master. Was a chain of supermarkets in the Boston metro area. Wow. Johnny's. That's an insane name. Johnny Food Master. Food Master. I feel sexual. Funny thing is, food, not that great. No. What one did you go to? Whitman Mass. Yeah, Whitman, 688 Bedford Street. 811 Stores. Right next to Curtis Lickers. Somebody probably bought that up.

What's it now? Do you know? You know what? I think it might be like an Amazon outpost, like a package. It's like not even a business now. It's sad. Damn. Those grocery stores scoop each other up.

Yeah. That's big business, dog. That's big business, Kippy. A lot of money in those deli meats back there. I'm thinking of it right now. We were a heavy drink at a funeral. We're a heavy drinking family too. Everybody in our family gets... Not at the church though. I can't even understand that. No, we would be. You're not even there for that long.

Well, no, it wasn't a church. It was a funeral home, I think. Oh, okay. So sorry, sorry. That's even... That's different, right? You're down there in the morgue? It was the viewing. That's what it was. Yeah, it was like the wake. The wake. Gotcha. Sorry. Oh, thank you. I have very little death and religion experience. It was a funeral home. My apology. That's what it was. Yeah, I was like the wake the wake gotcha. Sorry. I would have a Very little death and religion experience. It was a funeral home my apology. Okay crazy church We still drink but but out of class they did

They're drinking Absolutely serving wine can't have a captain sure switch that up a little bit Uh, all right. Let's see. This is from Leah. Have you ever had to kick down a door? I Think I did in my one college house, but that was it. Yeah, I've broken into my house for sure. They were broken into your parents house. Absolutely. But not kick down a door. No, that's crazy. Not to swap team. Yeah. Well, we had like a, let me try to think. Maybe the window. Yeah. You think you kind of go up and Jimmy the window shimmy Jimmy Yeah, but I always got more pissed about the screen. That's what my parents got man You fucking ruin the screen screen was big

I threw a baseball through the wall one time and then tried to move the chair askew But my mother has like closed CD. So right away. She was like, what is that? And then moved it. It was just a whole hell of an arm. How old were you? High school so 14 throwing a little pepper over I would throw a heater into that I was known for my accuracy as you know and so I drink that chair, but I think I just I just Yanked it you know and it just was it a hardball a baseball baseball. Yeah Because the chair was the catch. Yeah And I would throw it like as hard as I could

Talking 40 50 miles an hour and who you showing these skills off to my friend Derek You're never gonna believe this day not the girl from the cooler and just boom no no That's that's her brother matter matter of fact. Really? Yeah. Man. Dated the best friend's brother, sister, I mean. Whoopsie. Can we cut that, please? Wait a minute, hold on, go back to that. Was she younger than you or older than you? She was a year younger than me and he was a year older than me. So he went off to college

and I went right back to the same apartment. You waited until he went off to Warhouse. Right into the Warhouse. As soon as he left, I was like like I'll take care of her. Don't worry, and he was none too pleased, but we're cool now It was pretty good her night don't you know she's hates me now, but how long we really went hot and heavy for How long did that affair last? One hot summer in the cooler at Curtis Lickers. We were in high school So I mean we were just I mean was like, we were like Forrest Gump and Jenny.

It wasn't like- You were retarded? Yeah, we weren't like, you know, it wasn't, throws of passion. She was doing Bob Dylan covers in a nude? Yeah, we were like, you know, sitting on a rock, climbing a tree, literally hanging out in a tree, and like, go to the movies. There was no, it was not like, you know, there was no like, ah, sex. There was no passion You know, there was no like ah sex there was no passion Well, there was passion it was teenage love, but it wasn't physical passion. I think she was appalled by that's the definition of teenage

Yeah, physical passion. Yeah, I was a big I had very little confidence and bad teeth and forehead and everything So did you kiss her at least? Fucking Forehead and everything so did you kiss her at least? I mean come on. I'm not fucking But yeah, yeah, sit down wait to get a load of this well I remember adamantly being like we'll have sex at like saying this after you graduate college will save it for after High school I was like 17. She's a college. You said that to her? In high school? I was like 17. So she's a junior, you're a senior. Yeah.

And you're like, we're going to wait five years? Six years? Well I was trying to- There won't be any temptations in college. My game was like, I'm the nice guy. You have never met a guy as pure as me. And then when we broke up, I started drinking and just having sex with bushes breaking shit jumping on windshields of guys I was a maniac but uh-huh no at the time I mean I don't know what I was thinking I didn't I got no guidance how

long did that how long the relationship last in the college when you left for college we dated I didn't go to college Jesus I mean we dated cool nox over here for a year we dated basically her senior year high school and I was doing comedy So I was out of high school. She was so I would wake up at the time She would get out of high school not go and pick her up. I didn't have a license Man, you were a real stud. I took the bus with her though. She would drive to my house But I was like I was given over gas money. I wish I had to give her a five back then you could put five bucks in Fill it up. She had a Cadillac too. What white Cadillac?

Shirley him. What teenage girl has a white Cadillac? It was a hand-me-down. It was a beauty. You should have seen this. I know i'm sure it was date ros from night court I'd like I had to say it was a hammond like she bought it with you know at the lot off of Marty list Come on down to big Marty she's cat calling you and she pulls up. No we were we were best buds Yeah, it was we were buddies and you know brother had gone away, and I was how did you break the news to him? I was more of a big brother really Well, I had-

That's not making it any better. Back in high school, I had to sit him down. I was like, I got a crush on your sister, but you only know three people. And I was in love with her. I mean, all serious now. I was enamored with her, because she was like him.

They were both hilarious and very funny and cool and whatever. So, and by the way, I'm also Boston Irish Catholic, so I never got, I still don't get it back. Right. But yeah, and she the way, I'm also Boston Irish Catholic. So I never got I still don't get it back, right? But yeah, and she was hilarious and we laughed and just goofed around she was up for whatever we talked on the phone One time for 10 hours and 17 minutes on the phone landlines. I think he said 10 hours in 17 minutes No, no, you guys are really getting it done up there 10 hours. That's crazy Oh, yeah, I'll do the did you both did you fall asleep or just straight through? No, straight through to the morning.

I was like, all right. I couldn't talk to my wife now for 10 hours. Back then, I was a yapper on the phone. I used to talk to my girlfriend all the time. Oh, you were in high school. Yeah, in high school. And you've never talked to a girl, and it was like, oh, I think this, and then you were speaking to me.

Yeah, we had texting at that point. So it was like you were constantly, constantly texting. Sure. You were doing this on a landline, right? Oh, yeah. The cord wrapped around and his feet up in the air. So what's Derek doing? I'm like, get out of here. Yeah. You want to go to the cooler? But yeah, it was it was wonderful. And that's where they said she was similar to the brother.

I mean, Joe's in love with a female, Derek. That's right. Yeah. Jerry, they have the same initials no no but they're very yeah variables very funny do you see her now at all in the circle if you're still friends with him not too much well he lives in the west coast she lives in the East Coast but she came to a show I did the Wilbur theater she came from sweet out to the Wilbur and so yeah and I'm friends with her mom their mom it's like family so nice fair enough yeah it was a wonderful it was a wonderful It was a beautiful. It was a great time to be like oh, but but to answer your question She was in college for six weeks before she was like yeah

It's the fuck am I waiting for this guy go pick him up from school to take him to an open and I initiate I would drive up there with her mother. I still didn't have a license so I'd like No, maybe I had a license at that point, but I would go and then you'd be like I was like you got it You got it like you got to break up like you obviously what I feel like she didn't'd be like I was like you gotta you gotta like we've got to break up like you obviously I feel like she didn't want to cuz I was a sweet boy. I was like, you know, you know Yeah, this is she was like a cheerleader. She's like hot. She's like a hot cheerleader in college I'm listening. It was like, all right I'm just with this fucking idiot and then I'm like drinking and sleeping till four in the afternoon doing one open mic a week

at chops lounge and Hanging out with by the the way, Larry Lee Lewis, who was a 58-year-old pothead. And I'm like, this is my buddies now! And she's like, all right, we gotta cut the ties here. But anyways, it worked out for all of us. That's good. Notable alumni.

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And the joke was I said, because Santa Claus isn't real. And then my other niece, Derek's daughter, she said to me, this is a classic, she went, your breath stinks. And there was a brief classic, she went, your breath stinks. And there was a brief moment and she goes, it always stinks. So I couldn't even be like, well, you know, I had a chicken, yeah, she was like,

it always, don't even try. So she's also funny. Always stinks. But I think, I've never had an adult tell me I have bad breath, maybe once or twice, here or there, cigar or whatever. But I think to a kid just adult breath. Yeah is Kids bread get hit with you like what the fuck? Oh, yeah vicious, but as a little kid

Yeah, you pick those scents up I remember my dad would have to tie my tie in the morning before I went to Catholic school in like third or fourth grade And he would literally be like rolling out of bed and just oh just hit you with it. Yeah, yesterday's coffee and mustache grows in. Oh my god. I had a little kid one time not that long ago. I was at the beach and you know they had the public showers like the little things where you rinse off the sand and I was washing off in the kid and he was a little kid. He was in like a little like Like a wagon one of those like cloth wagons or whatever they are like sure double wagons He was sitting and his mom was washing off and the kid was looking at me I'm like fuck this punk looking at and he goes mommy. Why is his belly so big?

And then he's like he followed up with is he Santa Claus? Wow, that's nice. You know you're jolly I Play I guess and them yeah, why not hurt my feelings though. That's the mom was like, no, no, don't say that. I'm sorry. He doesn't think you're fat. You I remember this. Are you Santa Claus? I've heard we saw those. We were in Austin at Barton Springs and you were laying out. No shirt like you know, we had jumped in and he's laying out and these two

These two Chinese young Chinese kids that were tourists were walking by and like you were something to them that they had never seen They were like what though they were like tapping it like We can fit in him Climbing your belly button. I don't remember that at all. I'm sorry. I thought you did and we're gonna roll with it now I feel quite mean my apologies They never even saw it All right, let's see here. This is from Mike You ever crush a cold hot dog while you're growing the whole pack. No, I

Can't I cannot foresee you eating a cold hot dog as a kid. Yes I mean a cold like it's been cooked and now it's cooled off fine But yeah, of course sitting out now. They don't need to be cooked. Yeah, they're precooked. Yeah, I used to eat them when I was a little Kid I would sneak into the to the drawer and take out a hot dog in the morning I take back bringing up that Chinese That's hilarious little kid, but I don't like the texture of them not cooked. No. Yeah, no cold hot dog Are you like a charred dog? You like a nice char on it? Not when I was a kid, when I was a young boy, I was all boiled. I would, cause you'd have to, I would make them boil me hot dogs. Like I would, you have to go inside

and boil me up a hot dog. Cause I was like, even when they were grilling. Yeah, that's crazy. I mean, I was a very picky eater, but that's, I couldn't have it. But now obviously I love a grilled hot dog cause Fenway that's Fenway Franks were in the boilie water Sure, and I was like I can't that's what I want. I want the wet hot dog. Yeah But now it's gonna come around. Yeah, we went to Fenway Not too long ago when we were up doing the Wilba kid and didn't fit in the seats very very Smallest seats in professional sport. Yeah, it was crazy. But I was eating one of them dogs over a trash can, you know, probably had like six beers in me already.

And this kid came up and was like, fucking catch up with mustard all over my face. He's like, hey, big fan. And I was like eating over a trash can. I'm like, yeah, man, you bought it as you saw it. This is what I am eating over a fucking goddamn trash can. Did you love it, though, aside from the seats? It was great. Great. Yeah. Great. Great. Great. Great. All park. Yeah. The great ballpark. Yeah the best

Old school love that Boston not many of that Boston. That's a hell of a town that Wilbur's woo wee I'll be there in April there you go Yeah, baby, it's uh that might be I said if in front of your audience In that room might be as like as good as comedy can get yeah It's really special Boston, they're just like, they're the perfect mix of dumb and smart and rough and drunk, it's fucking great. It's everything you want, yeah.

Very similar to Philly. Very similar to Philly, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, let's see here. This is from Adam, first time, long time, are you garbage if you had a trash compactor in your kitchen growing up? No, you were rich. I thought that was classy shit. Yeah, that's like you your ship came in. Yeah That was rich people shit. I guess trash compact. No, we would like put your foot in it

You hold the bag and shove your foot in there. Yeah, wait trash compactor or no trash compactor. I guess I'm thinking the What's garbage disposal. Yeah, that was like, yeah, a trash compactor. That's nobody had that. That was fucking rich people had those. No, I remember my grandmother. They bought a trash compactor when I was like a senior in high school and it was like a thing. We like to see it.

Yeah, yeah. You have different bags and stuff. It was crazy. Yeah, it would go it would make all the noise to be all Yeah, it would be like it's half the size. It's a crunch in a car Yeah, exactly. Yeah, that was garbage. That was classy. Yeah, but I guess it is if like, you know, if you look back It is they didn't make it. Yeah, it was one of those technologies where you're like, this is new like oh we're getting a new kitchen We're gonna pay the extra two grand to have this or what? I just never took off now Well, also, what do you now that I think about it?

I'm like, what did you do save 40 bucks on trash bags a year if that dude if that I mean I always thought it was like more of a Heavier when you brought it out to good point. It was all smushed in. Yeah, we know weird rectangle shape Mmm, I remember I remember being my aunt she had one and it clicked on and it scared the shit out of Me and I'm like what's that like? That's the trash compactor. I'm gonna be in the future here Oh, this is a recycling plant. What the fuck I always thought it was for an environmental thing I never really thought about it. I guess that I thought it was just a flex Yeah, I don't know that garbage disposal. How about a dishwasher? We don't think we had a dishwasher

Do you have a dishwasher now? We do. Our apartment now has a small dish and it saved our ass during this having the baby. Yeah. Now I couldn't go back now. Yeah. Because you got to wash the bottles. Yeah, it's a lot. When this is from OG, AYG, when was the last time you peed in a bottle?

Hmm. For me, I mean, I had when I had roommates, like four roommates, and one would be in the shower. I take a long shower. Jason Canter, who I a wonderful comedian who I lived with, he would take like a 30 minute shower, shave his head, shave his ass, you know, whatever. And so I'd pee in a Gatorade bottle all the time. I lost the ability to do that. I would say 70 pounds ago. You got to be you really got to trust your feel on that one. I would say 70 pounds ago. Uh huh. Yeah. You gotta be. You really gotta trust your feel on

that one. Yeah, and I wouldn't be able to do it. Uh huh. I'd have to be some type of harness would be involved. I'd need a spotter. Couple of couple of flashlights. I would pee in the kitchen sink a few times in that house. We were talking

about that the other day. That's a great that's a great pee. The kitchen sink. Yeah. Leaning up, putting it over. It's a little too, I can't get past it. Nah, it's urine, it's clean. Yeah, I don't know, it's just tough. I've done that more recently. Like I come home, it's been a long commute home and then Sarah's in the shower or whatever. And I'm like this, you gotta go. Yeah. The kitchen's gotta be clean. I mean the sink has to be clean. I tell him. Yeah, can't be peeing on dishes. Yeah. I tell him which she he busts my chops about but in a hotel I do it regularly. I pee in the shower without being in the shower. Like if I'm in a

hotel, but you know, like the like the newer hotels, the shower is just you walk into it. There's no right. Yeah, I just walk in there and stand and pee and then just go back to bed. This is one of the stranger things I've heard. Is that bad? He's weird in the bathrooms. Was that bad? Wait, there's a drain there.

What's the big deal? Yeah, but to a thought, there's no flushing. It's all pipes, Jerry. There's no running water. And why are you doing that? Just for the freedom of it. Freedom? I don't have to aim or concentrate or think. You're doing a lot of thinking when you pee in a toilet.

You gotta aim. You gotta put the seat up. Oh, I see. You don't think it's very freeing. You feel like a Viking when you just walk in and you're naked. And like, you know, you're maybe, you know. I'm gonna have a tough time selling this one. I mean, I pee in the shower, but when I'm in the shower, I don't just... I mean, if you had to do it, you run the water. Just standing there completely naked and just being a complete human being and just just peeing

I don't know peanut We've I mean well documented peeing in a backyard in the suburbs is that's what I say. They were loving the word It's like so what's the difference? What what's the difference if I do that in a hotel you're not sleeping in the backyard I mean that you're you're peeing and then if you don't run it down There's just still pee it's gonna run down when I get in the shower later on Yeah, sure. I mean and the soap and stuff. You're asking us what the issue is and we're giving you that There's just standing pee on the floor. Yeah, I think the burden of proof or whatever is on you

Yeah, prove to me that it's not you gotta make the case here outside. You're looking at the stars You're hearing the crickets, and it's just- And it's getting absorbed into the ground, and you're not going like- I bring crickets in. And it's convenient, you're already outside. I'm talking about convenient, I'm just walking in and letting it go.

I know, but you walk on, like if you're at a bonfire and you're hanging here, you go, oh, I'm gonna walk over, you know, you take 10 paces that way and you pee. You're not peeing on the people's feet ten paces was a dual Got it as fast as you can and pee all right. I'm gross. I Mean, I don't know why yeah, you're rolling over and playing turtle on this one. What the fuck? Jesus Christ I thought Liz would be on my side with that

Yeah, I'm gonna be in the shower absolutely. I'll pee on the curtain I'll pee everywhere, but only if I'm in the shower. Absolutely. I'll pee on the curtain. I'll pee everywhere, but only if I'm in the shower. Yeah, but I might try it. You know what I should say? I've never tried it and they say don't knock it until you try it. Another comedian friend of ours. I don't want to say his name is I don't I don't want to I don't want to put his business out there, but we've discussed it. He's like, it's my favorite thing to do. Just walk in. I

pee right in the tub and I go right back to bed. Wow. That's interesting. That feels Ari. Yes. Yeah Comedians name Ari Shaffer Louie Anderson Speaking of by far this is from Hansi Gruber. Do you ever go to bed after? The while still smelling like the bonfire or will you shower? No I go right to bed. I got a shower I got to smell to I got a shower. I got to. Smell it in my hair.

Like burning wood? Oh, I can't do it. I'll smoke a cigar at a campfire and go to bed. Oh, this guy's buck goes. You taste that in your mouth the next day, I assume, right? Well, I brush my teeth, but yeah, you do a little bit. You brush your teeth, you floss, you Listerine, you go to bed, but I would like to run in the morning.

I don't know if you guys are having this issue. No, we're not. But- Running in the morning? No, we're peeing in the tub over here. I would like to run in the morning. I don't know if you guys are having this Issue no, we're not but We're peeing in the tub over here. I got I run in the morning So I'm like I'm gonna wake up and jump in the ocean and run and all that so what am I doing? Okay? Yeah, I don't know I just been doing it I've been around the moor this summer a couple of times and I'm like I have to fucking even Yeah, even if it's late. I'm like I got to go in and shower Are you jumping in the ocean big ocean jumpy guy the ocean hills I'm all ocean all the time really up here I'm in the ocean right now I'm already there first thing

in the blink if you're if you guys are on vacation or whatever you wake up you'll run down and jump in try to yeah or I'll go for a run and then swim but I gotta get in the water every day absolutely in the early morning you'll go in oh yeah in Maine it's like 60 degrees 50 degrees. That's feeding time though. Oh Sharks, yeah, that's a myth. He's a he's pet really Saying that should never go swimming early. You know, that's when they're eating they bite. I'm not going at dawn I'm going had you know nine in the morning nine in the morning, okay, and I think shark bites You're more likely to die in a car accident obviously Jesus so

You got if you wear a wet suit, it's black you look like a seal You know I think that's part of it sure like surfers get bit because they look like seals You gotta wear bright color you wear wear like a rainbow bathing suit. It's also like, it's not happening like if, I mean, what are we talking about here? No one's getting bit by sharks that much. How far do you go out? You just dump it, just do a little swim and then come back in? Oh, I'm out, baby. Really?

I'm out there and I'm loving every minute of it. You go out? I go out. You gotta get past the breakers and everything. What? You have to. Oh, you bare brills? Otherwise, you're getting tussled. You gotta go past the breakers. Yeah, you gotta get hit. You go past the brain you gotta get hit you go

I mean, it's not that far. It's like till you're like here. Yeah, you're still standing. Yeah It heals Jerry You got I do a quick dip and get out now. I'm all about that but try to catch a wave in I'm not going at any Big body surfing guy. I don't know if I'm officially body, sir We just jump into the wave and then you let it take you swim into it and Then you fucking you would if you know I never did anybody You would know it cuz when you catch it you catch that you feel like you're flying. It's okay

I gotta get into this body surfing. I mean I'll ride the wave back in I've been trying in my whole life that Superman shit Yeah, when you were like when you feel the whole Were you a boogie boarding kid growing up? No, no boogie board I didn't get too oceany until a bit later. Will you go in the ocean at night? Yeah a night swim. Yeah Really? Yeah, you know, I'm quite bold. Yeah, you won't touch a shrimp, but you'll swim in the ocean in the middle of the night I mean I'll touch it. I handed the baby. I think he's allergic. I don't like the texture. I don't like the crustacean You know I'm not a big crunch guy a chip. I'll take I don't have crunch Shrimp crunch no they don't shrimp shrimp doesn't crunch

Yeah, I mean, I don't think crustaceans shells Possibly I hate the shell I don't know No, no, crochet bag. There's no crunch on a shrimp I'll give you a snap maybe yeah, it's a little like yeah, I've had shrimp. It's a little it's not like a Dorito, but it's It's a little crunchy. It's not like a Dorito Cooler ran shrimp

I feel full of the risotto. Uh, alright let's see here we got time for one more and then we gotta wrap it up. This is from Brian, uh, do you ever bring a full size shovel to the beach for diggin' holes? That's fuckin' a full size metal shovel at the beach. Looks like you're burying a body. These people are no longer, you guys have gone to fight. This is not garb. This is like mental illness These people are like this is crazy a metal shovel to listen people mention a cop coming by what's that? Because you got a rolled up carpet. I've been sledding on a shovel like like Jimmy Stewart Yeah, done that I don't goochie though

Sam Wainwright over here now my kid brother No, I've never brought a I've never brought a shovel Dude you go down to Wildwood, New Jersey you fucking see it peep that the people's beach setups are getting crazy by the way I've been hearing stories foundation Sarah found a story if you dig too deep in the beach you can die It will suck you in you know about this what I mean this is gonna extend the episode we have Please evidently there is like I'll do a little thing on if you dig too far. There's like it becomes like a sinkhole It's unsafe you're not supposed to dig really deep. This has been like a big thing that's been put up there. Well, I think because I know in why, well, a lot of those

beaches, especially in Jersey, have been eaten away, have been eroded. And then so they've had to dredge and they, so it's not like a proper, it's not like proper earth. You know what I mean? It's like a manmade beach. Yeah. So that could make sense if you get low enough,

you hit some sort of fucking uncompacted. it seems like it's more you dig a nut deep enough hole in the sand comes in from the sides Well, that's oh, I mean I thought you went to China You ever seen a guy my size before Ladies and gentlemen one of the absolute best mr. Joe list Joe what do you got coming up? You want the folks out there to know. I got some big things coming. I'm shooting a new special in Chicago October 27th. This will be out before then. October 27th, it's a Sunday at Zany's Comedy Club.

And then the big one, the grand papa daddy, I don't know how I'm going to do it, but Town Hall November 9th. Come out to that. Yeah, I got to do that November 9th let's go come out to that I've got yeah I gotta I gotta do that November 9 tickets are on sale now and then October 10th is a Thursday night I got this movie I made I made a documentary about my friend Tom Dustin I've been eagerly awaiting okay well it's October 10th if you want to come you guys can come. We're in where you premiered it it's a Village East Village East Cinemas

oh fantastic we're in the whole marquee if you guys could come that'd be great cuz I gotta drum up a little bit of absolutely there and it's a it's a Village East. Village East Cinemas. Oh, fantastic. We're in the whole marquee. If you guys could come, that'd be great, because I gotta drum up a little bit of... Absolutely. I'll be there. And it's a beautiful film, and it's touching and funny. So October 10th and November 9th and October 27th, New York, Chicago, New York. So a lot of stuff for that. We love it. Joliss, one of the absolute best comedians working in it today.

One of my faves. This is a treasure. You gotta wear that in the special, though. Oh, yeah, absolutely. I'll pace back and forth Kevin what do you got for about to take off for the route 66 tour the route 66 tour starting in Chicago? It's going to Tulsa, Oklahoma City Albuquerque Las Vegas LA Chicago to LA we have a tour bus. We got a whole crew shooting the thing That's gonna be some stand-up Yeah, some of the a YG game a lot lot of behind the scenes. Get your tickets now.

We'll see you out there. Come and be a part of it, gang. It's going to be really fun. And we'll also be at Parks Casino December 17th. Only a couple of tickets left for that. Yes, sir. So scoop them up, baby. We love you. Joe, we love you.

Thank you, buddy. I love you guys. We'll see you next week. Peace.