Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Taylor Tomlinson!

Episode Date: September 21, 2026

Are You Garbage presents stand up comedian Taylor Tomlinson! You know Taylor Tomlinson from stand up comedy, After Midnight, The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler, Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino, TigerBelly, So True with Caleb Hearon, Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend, Breaking Bread with Tom Papa, Two Hot Takes Podcast, Trash Tuesday, Five Brilliant Things, and so much more! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! Watch AMERICAN GARBAGE: https://youtu.be/77zGwlLffWk?si=6E9dBr63JY7HgP9t AYG 2026 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows NEW AYG MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored By: Brunt Workwear: Get $10 Off at BRUNT with code GARBAGE at https://www.bruntworkwear.com/GARBAGE GLD: New customers get 40% Off with code GARBAGE at https://GLD.com BetterHelp: Sign up and get 10% off at https://BetterHelp.com/garbage. Promo Code: GARBAGE Warby Parker: Our listeners can buy one pair of glasses and get 20% off any additional pairs at https://WarbyParker.com/GARBAGE and using our link helps support the show. Promo Code: GARBAGE Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Stop the presses, gang. The American Garbage Special is out on YouTube right now. Numbers are cooking. We thank everybody for their support. Keep sharing it. Keep telling everybody about it. We love you. Yeah, and if you like what you saw, we are on tour right now,

we're going to be in Appleton, Wisconsin, San Jose, San Diego, Tacoma, Atlanta, Philly. Hello. Springfield, Fort Wayne, Connecticut, Phoenix, Arizona, Timonial Maryland, Milwaukee, Chicago, Cincinnati, Columbus, all tickets available at RUGarBogbage.com. If you got a garbage question, come out and see the boy. Yeah. Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage?

The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there. And welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage? Hell yeah. It's a little show we sit there with your favorite comedians and we find out that they're good to be Classy.

Just a big old piece of trash. Trash, trash. I'm your host, Tate Trulley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tootie's in a new edition. She got into a six-pack of Lyme Redis. Okay. So I wouldn't wait on dinner. All right.

Fair enough. All right, whatever. Who, man. My co-os is coming out of you from right next to me. He's the CEO. Are you Garbage? International businessman. Runs the show.

Boss of the family. My best pal, which comes in Andy sometimes. Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan. What up, gang. Shout out T. As always, just make sure you review, subscribe. on iTunes, full video available on YouTube, full video available over there on Spotify. And the boys are climbing the freaking charts over there on Spotify.

And then obviously the greatest website of all time, www. www. patreon.com. So I sure you garbage. You go over there. You get all that bonus content gang. That's right, Kippey. And gang, we could not be more excited to have our incredibly. And I'm an incredibly special guest here with us today for the first time.

She is an extremely funny, extremely successful stand-up comedian. Yes. One of the benchmarks that we looked up to that we saw. Pillar in our society. Got a brand new book out. Actually, never mind. Give it up for Taylor Thomas. Yay.

Thanks for having me, guys. That was very impressive. I didn't know how to approach that because when we got up here in 2013, you were like cooking. You were like... In 2013? Yeah. No, not in 2013. In our eyes, yes.

I mean, more than we were. Yes. I graduated high school in 2011, so that can't be true. Somewhere around there. Yeah, maybe like 20... Fuck, I should have checked my days. Yeah, no, it's all right. I'm like, I'm trying to think.

I was like, where was I in 2013? When we were slogging out in the village. when we were up here, we just remember, you were like, you were like a company. You were like, you were moving. That is not true, man. I really don't, I want to yes and you so bad, but I'm telling you right now. She was 11. I was, I was not there yet.

I don't think I had even been to New York at that age. I think I'm so sorry. We can cut all of this if you want. No, this is so perfect. In the track camera on. In 2013, I was 19, I think, and I went, I was full time at 21. And so I think I probably was coming to New York around when I was 21. All right, whatever.

It's all right. No, no, no, it's so nice. You're the opposite of a creep. You weren't paying attention to me when I was a teen. Yes, there you go. This actually turned out great for you. It would be weird if you knew where I was. If this would have came out smoothly, it would have been good.

Which I used to do it very smoothly. This was good. That was a test. That was a test and you passed. Thank you. Always very impressed with your career. No, that's so nice. How you did it.

How funny you are. Yes. Amazing. Thank you. That's nice. Yeah, you just met a few years later. Oh, no, no. I was like, I was on drugs. And I clearly was like the worst type of kid in school where I'm just like, well, actually, it was this time and this date. I like that, though. So that was annoying. Sorry, my bad. Don't be silly. It's perfect. I just can't take credit for being successful any earlier than I was.

I respect. It's just very, it's very him. I wouldn't have done that. I would have aged it back. You're talking about the 80s. We were all, we were always like, damn, she's cooking. That's nice. That's really, really nice. Yeah. I'm sorry. I fuck this up. No, no, it's perfect.

He does this most episodes where he'll try to bog down a certain date or something and it's way off. No, it's totally okay. I just don't want anyone listening to go, she's been successful for how long? And they go, look it up and they go, no, she wasn't.

She was total trash back then. So, you know. Good stuff. Right. So, yeah, please. Go back to the 70s. Yes, yes, yes. When I was absolutely killing it.

Yes. Give us the origin story, your backstory, where you grew up, mom's, dad's, brothers. California. California. Everyone thinks I'm from the Midwest, but it was California. It's just because I got a round, friendly face. And everyone goes, you must be kind from a cornfield. And I'm not.

I thought that's right. And I understand though. And I do think it's people tell me I sound like I have a Midwestern accent, but I don't think that I do. I think maybe Central California sounds a little Midwestern sometimes. But also. Yeah, but also L.A., everybody's like, you have an accent. And you're like, that's kindness that you're unfamiliar with. I'm not an asshole.

That's the twang you don't recognize. But yeah, I grew up in California, more like central California than like Southern California when I was, you know, 10 or whatever. Okay. And then I started doing stand-up when I was 16, so I started in high school. Yeah. I took a class. I know.

Well, you know. Or I was like. Focus, sharp. Focus, sharp. No, there's a woman at our church who was going to take a comedy class from like a Christian church comic. And she was like, told my dad, she's like, you guys should go. And so we all took it.

As a family? Me and my dad and this woman from our church who was great and we all shout out Karen, we all took it together and then started doing stand-up and that guy had me like open for him sometimes and I really feel it really feels like I fell into it

it was really a weird, weird origin story that for a long time I was like this is not cool and let's move on I wanted like the cool like yeah I started in high school and I was sneaking into the comedy clubs and tortured artist and going to CBGBs or whatever. They were sneaking me show

Gots, you know, like, but I didn't have it like that. I was, like, performing in churches until I was like 18. I like that. You do? Okay, good. Yeah. Was it a religious upbringing? Very religious upbringing.

Really? Yeah. Did you guys grow up religious at all? Catholic. Yeah, not too crazy. But, like, serious about it or like Christmas. The guilt and stuff like that, yeah. Yeah.

Is that still in there, the Catholic guilt? Lady, I'm a mess. You're, you're, with numbers and guilt. Yeah. Well, now I feel bad. Me blowing that. I almost jumped out of a window. I was going to ask.

I was like, I'm so sorry. No. Because I beat myself up for literally everything, even if it's nothing. So I do relate on that level. But no, it's just very, very Christian growing up. Yeah. So it also made sense why I was only allowed to perform in churches. Makes sense.

As a kid. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's your mom and dad do? My mom, well, my mom died when I was a kid. And then my, that's all right. And then my dad had a couple different jobs. He was a music teacher when I was really young. Okay.

And then went into like real estate later. Is he in the band? in the church at all? Did he play? No, I don't think he did. I'm not sure. I don't think he did, no, but he was a very good singer and played piano and all that stuff. But I have no, can you guys sing or do anything? He's good. He's a talented music.

Yeah, a little bit. Really? What do you play? Guitar. Oh, that's fucking cool. Man, not really. If someone... Kind of annoying. Do you insist on playing stuff at parties and stuff? No, but I'll throw it in their face a little bit. You'll go, I could play that if I wanted. But I won't, because I'm not a day. I'll do a thing sometimes. Is that a G? I think it's a G chord. You're like,

I don't know, like, the rest of us. You're not better than us because you know what the G-4 is. Exactly. No, I wish I was better. I faked my way through eight years of band. I was so bad at it. You were in band. I played clarinet and then trumpet for a couple years.

And I was terrible at both. I was so bad. What a wholesome upbringing. Oh, so wholesome. And then wholesome face. It's all real wholesome. It's not cool at all. Were you guys cool?

Growing up? You were cool? I like it when people, like, admit it. I like when people just go, yeah. That was cool. It's more of an embarrassing thing because I peaked in high school. No.

You're very successful. You were more successful than this in high school? Yeah, one of the biggest comics in the world than I was high school. You should have heard my podcast in high school. I talk about it all the time. He's, you know. I'm a loser. Jesus Christ.

You're like, I was playing guitar in the end zone. I was crushing it. You were? You were? See, I knew it. I heard guitar. I heard cool in high school. and I bet you were fucking scoring goals too. Rolled up my jeans.

Rolled up your jeans. Well, of course, you gotta roll up your jeans. Were you cool? I was cool, yeah, enough. I was more of, you know, the hanging out smoking Sigs type of kid. Oh, that's cool. Drinking beers early. But that is different.

Little tortured soul, you know what I mean? Dark. No, not at all. I was a fat kid who was trying to smoke cigarettes. It was not cool. I wasn't cool at all. I was in mock trial and band. Whoa.

Fighting for my life. So bad. Not good at all. How big was the school you were. went to. Was it a big school? It was pretty big. I think my graduating class in high school was like 800 kids. Whoa. That's huge. Yeah, it's big, right? I mean, I heard that somewhere and I just went, that's going to be my answer forever. So I hope that's accurate. I have no idea.

Did you guys have lunch outside like in Disney shows? We had lunch outside like in Disney shows. Yeah, because California, right? I always wanted that. I always wanted indoor lunch. Really? I wanted like a locker and stuff. We didn't have lockers. No, we didn't have lockers. Did you have lockers outside like in the karate kid? I don't think we even had lockers outside. That's crazy. You know the kids don't lockers? No. It was about a mess.

I don't think we had logger. Do we have lockers? In high school? No, there were no loggars. You guys with the high school together? This is my sibling. What? That was my next question.

No, so sorry. I got ahead of you. Yeah, I have three younger siblings. Okay. Hold just a four. What about you guys? What are you got? I'm so sorry.

Are people not usually like this? No, no, it's okay. You're fantastic. I'm matching the energy. I'm so sorry. You guys have such good, like, This is like old school radio. I've been blown it since you got in here.

No, no, you haven't. This is like good. Like the speed at which you guys gave the intros, I was like, I sat up fucking straight. Sure. The hey, everybody will go. You were like, hey guys, what's up? And then you just went so fucking fast. I was like, man, nobody's professional like this anymore.

We're still bright. We're old school, baby. It's impressive. That's really my only good contribution to the show. I got the intro down on I want you from it. How many sips do you have though? I'm the youngest of two. Irish twins.

My brother is 18 months old. That me. Whoa, you guys close? Yeah, very close. Very different. He's organized, sharp. But how big is his podcast? Does he even have one?

He worked on Wall Street. Did well. Oh, okay. All right. Yeah, yeah, fair enough. Fair enough. Family on stuff. Yeah.

No matter what I do, I'll still be this. Jesus Christ. What about you? I got two older, I got an older brother and an old sister, then two half young, significantly younger brothers. So your middle? Yeah, but not at all from, I was the youngest, and then two got added on. Broken home.

Okay. The younger ones are step kids. Okay. No, they're my half brothers. They're my half brothers and they're significantly younger, like 16 and 10 years ago. But you grew up as youngest. I, and yeah. So two youngest?

For 10 years. Yeah. Okay. Which is usually the thing, right? For comics. Yeah. Yeah, I think so too. Oldest, I can't believe I need more attention.

Yeah, that's true. Yeah. But they didn't get the right attention. That also goes with, you know, how you are. Like, you know, in my mind, you're like focused and, you know, professional about things, that makes sense of you be older. That's true. Thank you for saying that. A very combo.

I hope people meet me and they go, she's the oldest and they know that and it's not derogatory because it also can be. Like, you know, being the oldest daughter, you are just like kind of baseline annoying. And that's not my fault. That's on God, okay? That sounds like she came up with that. Yeah, that's not my fault. What did you guys live in growing up?

Like did your dad bounce around, but did you guys do well? Did he do all right? Yeah, I think so. We said he got in the real estate. We were like in the suburbs. I mean when I was really young we really didn't have money I think we were pretty poor when we were kids

like we had you know one parent working they were teacher music teacher and then like my mom was in the hospital for a couple years like so that's not sorry this is it's hard to talk about like serious stuff when you guys have the upbeat energy because then you come in you're like I'm gonna bring down the fucking vibe no not at all

we were up here so like hey what's up everybody and then you're like tell you about your mom Yeah, no, it's obviously not that. So she died. It's all that like. The reason I asked that is when you said music teacher then got in the real estate, it's perfect for the show. Maybe humble beginnings and he hit real estate started doing well.

I think so. I think, well, then I had my dad got remarried and then the two of them started working together. Okay. In real estate? In real estate, yeah. And so my stepmoms was like, I think my stepmom was a huge example to me of like work ethic. And like, yeah, she was like a real, a real, like, love to work was good at it. Like, just, like, truly in so many ways, and I don't mean this in a negative way, like, just very different from my mom growing up.

Because my mom growing up was like a stay-at-home mom. And so then my step-mom was this like career woman. Yeah. And now I'm like a career woman. So I think I needed to, I don't know that I would have known that I could. That was possible. Yeah, I don't think, I don't know that I would have had that as readily available as an option. I think I maybe would have, but I don't know, maybe my personal life would have been more successful if I was more focused on getting married and having kids.

I don't really know. It's so strange. Don't you kind of think about that sometimes? That's not a social life. Is that what do you mean? Getting married and having kids. I mean, I don't know. You come home to people.

Sure. That's social. I think so. Yeah. Talking to people. That's pretty sure. Yeah. I think so.

I mean, it's a totally different thing. I mean, like my buddy, Dustin Nickerson, who's on the road with me a lot, he has like three kids and a beautiful wife. And he's like, when he's on the road, it's like great. But when he's home, he's home. And it's like he's got two jobs. Like he like just clocks into his other job. Sure.

Which is like dad and husband and then goes to comedian job. And sometimes I'm like, man, I wish I could go clock into that job. Because it seems very grounding. Like I think he's like a really good guy and like a really good person. and, like, has a lot of perspective about show business and, like, what's important and feels like a very grounded individual. And I think, like, being married for so long and, like, having kids and, like, I think it helps you have, like, your priority straight in a way that maybe I, I don't have that, you know.

He just had a baby. He's always been, you know, put together and organized. 15 months ago, yeah, yeah. But you can see the difference. Yeah, it's like, it's, you know, obviously wrestling with it at the moment. But what you're saying is true. You're wrestling with the baby? Yeah.

He's pretty big. Same way, class. This is his jacket. I, no, it switches where you just go, like, I try to think I go,

I used to have to fit all other aspects of my life into comedy, if that makes sense. Social family, you're like, comedy is the 100% if you can fit the other stuff

into where the gaps are, then, which wasn't much, it was beers and cigarettes. Of course. Yeah, yeah. But I'm just saying, like, all of your time

is spent to, you know, hey, I can't make the wedding. I have, or whatever. It was all very, now it's the other way around. It's like,

how does comedy fit? into my other like my real life yeah yeah yeah and that's what I'm saying he's he runs you know he's the brains behind the operation as far as like business stuff goes so he's always been smarter I have the checkbook if that's what I'm an idiot um but even when the baby when he had the baby the way he focused and stepped into it is is cool yeah did you feel something shift inside you where you're like I'm a different person now not like right away but yeah slowly you just go like oh this stuff you know you don't want to say it's stop It stops being the most important thing.

Yeah. You know, that perspective changes of like, you know. So like a weekend, you're like, no, the baby's with us all the time? It's going to be like this all the time. Yeah, that is. That sets him. I guess I'll lock in.

Yeah, I guess I got to do this. I started like making decisions like where he was like voluntarily doing things that are right for them. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're not number one anymore. Yeah, of course. Yeah. I'm no longer.

And also, yeah, I'm no longer the most important person in my life. Yeah. I could around my head around that. Yeah, he's still, still, I don't know if you're, I don't know if you're clocking the vibe. He's still going to bother by it. Yeah, so it's, yeah, it's that. It's, you know, but it is, you know, difficult balancing both of things, you know what I mean? Yeah.

But the real estate, I think, blends to comedy because, like, as a real estate agent, you can start your own thing and, you know what I mean, it's self-contained. I should have gone into real estate. I should have gone into real estate. I hear you. No, I should have done that. That's a good model for, you know, especially the way you've done it. Well, it's a lot of, you know, it's like salesmanship, right? It's all motivation.

And that's like you get what in, you get out what you put in. Yes, you have to generate your own work, your own connections, all that. It's like very similar. So she was killing it and your guys' town. Killing it. Like the local real estate, she would have the sign. Different town. Different town.

We moved to where she lived. Yeah, but she's, yeah, she's very, very impressive lady. Shout on to it. Very nice. What was your first car growing up? My first car was like a white Oldsmobile. Whoa. Yeah.

It was like, it was like, it was like, it. had a really comfy gray bench seat in the front. Yeah, it's an old person's car. Yeah, it was an old person's car. Where'd you get it? Was it a hand me down from a family? No, it was like they bought it like used so I could drive like me and my sibling to school in the morning.

And I was like too scared to take it on the freeway. So, you know, I was just terrified. And I should have been. I wasn't a good driver. Okay. But yeah, that was my first car. So like at the time I was like, this is embarrassing. And in hindsight, I was like, that was cool.

Yeah. You know, like the same thing. Yeah, right? A big old white car, an old person's car. and I was embarrassed by it. And I'm looking back, I'm like, I fucking love that thing. The license plate frame or whatever I had on the back of it, it said I'd rather be quilting.

And I didn't take it off because I didn't. Yeah, of course. I was like, 2011, roughly. And this is what, 2011, roughly? This was like 2010, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry.

I like it. Old school. Getting closer with the years, though, big man. Yeah, I was working. He's like, oh, 2010, 2011. It's so funny. I mean, I've always been like the youngest for most of my career being like, you know, in my teens and 20s and like now I'm in my 30s and now people are like oh you're like a person

now like we can talk to you sure you know like you grew up in the in the business essentially yeah yeah yeah so it is it is fun to like feel feel that um feeling come up for me when I meet younger people now where I'm like 24 like it like physically hurts a little bit and that's just started happening for me in the last few years and it's uh wow didn't expect it but I'm like oh I understand what everyone was talking about now when I did all those morning shows in my 20s where I was like, I'm doing five shows this weekend at the Portland Helium. And they were like, when are you going to bed? Like they were just like, you're a child.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pretty cool. That's crazy. Kimby, let's talk about Brunt. Brunt workwear, baby. Gang, let me start with the wildest part of Brunt Workwear. We're talking about they actually let you wear the boots out on a job site before you buy them. Who does that?

You don't like them? Four are you fun. Yes, that's not, listen, everybody's tried on shoes where you walk around to pay less or something, putting your feet. eating the little slanted mirror. You can't tell. You need real days on the ground. Get in the mud. Work them out, dog.

Listen, season's coming up. I need a fresh pair of boots. I did brunt last year. I'm going brunt again, baby. I'm a marring guy, the marron. That's the model. They're comfortable right outside the box, which is good for me because I don't do any manual labor.

So I look the part and feel comfy. You know what I mean? I don't need. I don't need. I like it? Yeah, I don't. I'm a real, I give Forman vibes. You know what I mean? A cover your pencil in there? Yeah, exactly. A little something in here, sharpening my pencil with a knife. Really look in the part. They are no doubt the most comfortable boots you're ever going to wear. They're the most comfortable boots I've ever worn. They felt comfortable right out of the box. There's no painful break-in process like other brands. And whether you need waterproof, safety, toe, soft toe, pull on, or lace-up, they got options, whatever you need for your job site. Brunt was tired of the workwear brands out there cutting corners. You work too hard to be stuck in uncomfortable boots that don't hold up.

So they built something better. Boots are insanely comfortable and built for any job site for a limited time. Our listeners get $10 off at Brunt when you use the code garbage at checkout. Just head to Bruntworkware.com, use the code garbage and you're good to go. And after you order, they're going to ask you how you heard about Brunt. Do us a favor and tell them it was from the show. Kim, it's talking about GLD. I'm talking GLD, gang.

Gang, every guy has those pieces, their go-toes, right? We're talking about the shoes that go with everything. We're talking about that one pair of jeans that fits just right. That T-shirt that always looks clean. No matter what you pair it with, you don't overthink those pieces. Just grab them. Keep it moving. The one thing missing from that lineup is the jewelry gang.

That's where GLD comes in. They make the kinds of pieces that come a part of your routine. Not just something you wear for a special occasion. Like you're going to a wedding. You got a hot date. These are things that fall in line with all of those go-toes. Just clean quality pieces that instantly make your fit look more fresh. And listen, I'm in the market for fresh fits.

That's when I go to GLD. Boom. Everybody stays laced up. I got the wife something real nice. She wears it every day. I told her it was way more expensive than it was, too. I told her not to Google it. And it's not just tight.

There's over 2 million customers and 50,000 5-star reviews with GLD being worn by names like Justin Bebes, Malik Nabbers, Mackaya Parsons, ASAP, Rocky, and plenty more. And if I was an unc, I would know who those people are. The best part about it, every single piece is guaranteed for life. Work hard and change the game

for a limited time only. New customers are getting an insane deal. Use the code garbage to get 40% off at gldd.com. That's 40% off with code garbage at gldd.com. After you purchase, are going to ask you how you heard about the show. Please support the show and tell them the boy sent you do it. What was your first job?

First job, I worked at a pizza place. Nice. We worked at a pizza place. Is it a good pizza? I don't know. I'm lactose intolerant. Whoa. I don't remember. I couldn't tell you. I couldn't tell you. But yeah, I did that, and then I worked.

Did you make the pizza? I didn't make the pizza. I just did cashier. Nice. Yeah, just a cashier. And then I worked at like a soup plantation. And then I worked at a... A soup plantation?

Yeah, in a waxing salon. I was just a cashier at a bunch of different places. What's a soup plantation? You said that like we were going to know what it was. Oh, I guess it's a chain? It was a chain. It's gone now. But it was a, or like, sweet tomatoes.

Okay. They called it sweet tomato. I don't know why I thought you'd know that one. but it was like a chain in Southern California. Soup? Yeah, soup and salad. It's like soup and salad. It's supposed to be like a healthy buffet.

Gotcha, gotcha. Yeah. It's a soup. It's pretty good, honestly. Compared to like, what's the bread place? Panera. Oh, better than Panera, right? Yeah, better than Panera.

I love to hear that, right? Yeah, I think so, right? I don't know. I don't know. But I mean, I assumed you guys work in food service when you're younger? Yeah, I waited tables. I didn't start comments. I was 32, so.

I was waiting tables in my mid-40s. Wow. What made you start at 32? Did you want to before that, or was it like, did you think about it for a long time or not? I was a sad answer. Oh, no. Sorry, we don't. I was, I was.

What happened? What happened, loser? Did you crash out again? I couldn't play quarterback anymore. I come up here from Philly to be an actor. I went to theater school. Oh, okay. And just came up here and did drugs and didn't actually pursue anything.

Gotcha. I didn't have those how to accomplish them. He didn't have a stepmom in real estate. That I admire of you, especially at a young age. I was an idiot. And then at some point I bottomed out here and moved down to Philly in 2008 and told myself, I wanted to start acting or try to actually act. And getting in front of people would be good.

Yeah. Which didn't even make any sense. No, I think it does. I went to an open mic and we all met all the other Philly comics. And, yeah, it was it. No other option, really. Yeah. Plus, it gave me time in my.

30s to live like a dirt bag and have an excuse for it if that makes sense. No, it does make sense. Yeah. Yeah, it does make sense. Yeah, I use it as an excuse a lot. I can't do that because I'm a female comic, but if I were a male comic, oh my God, I'd be a dirtbag for a while. That seems great.

Yeah, different. Not an option for me. Not an option for me, but looks awesome. It seems fun, yeah. Seems fun. Growing up at any point could have been a local celebrity. Who was the most famous person you met? Growing up?

Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. buddy. Not like a local baseball player. A radio guy, anything? No. Nothing. Really? I mean, I hope I'm not forgetting anybody, but I wouldn't even, I went to Google. I was like, I don't even know what I could Google. I don't even know who that would be. I don't even know who that would be. Apparently Olivia Rodriguez lived in Temecula for a minute as well, I think, but I don't know when that was. It wasn't when I lived there. But like, that's the only other person that I can think of that grew up in Temecula. And I mean like Modesto, like George Lucas. is from Modesto. But like people that I was there at the same time. Yeah.

I don't know. It could even, it could have been, yeah, okay. A lot of times you get people like, he'll be like, oh,

I met a baseball player at a car dealership. Yeah, we didn't have any of that. It's so interesting because Temecula, I don't talk about Temecula that much, but it's where I was like from like 10 to 18. And it's interesting because it's like an hour from San Diego and it's like two hours from L.A.

So it's like pretty close to like much better places. Right. But like there's a lot of, you know, freeway between. Yeah. You know? It's his own island.

My, and you know, I only ever heard it in movies and TV shows. It's like out there and to, yeah, like out in Temeckola. Y'all, y'all, you'll end up in Temecula or whatever. It's never where the season finale is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That in Bakersfield. Baker's Field. Baker's field is a big, yeah.

Bigger's still as well. Fresno, yeah. The fringe cities that get named in dialogue. That's where I grew up. Yeah. And cop shows is exactly right. Yeah. It's where they find like, you know, clues and bodies and things.

Like this is part of the mystery. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hmm. What was a family vacation like growing up? We didn't really go in a lot of family vacations. I think the only really, the only thing that would really count as a family vacation is like we'd go to Disneyland because it was close. Close. But then you don't have to stay overnight or anything.

You go and just drive home. Day trip. Yeah, you just go and drive home because it's like an hour away. That was it. You guys never went anywhere? We stayed overnight at Disneyland right after my mom died because hospice. gave us free tickets. Isn't that rough?

That's the last time I stayed at the Disneyland Hotel. They were like, we are so sorry about this. I guess someone had donated them to hospice or something? They were like, if you guys want to go and we're like, it doesn't feel like the time, but okay. Yeah, so it's an odd place to celebrate, you know what I mean? Yeah, it was interesting. And I think it was maybe we were like going back to school.

So I think we like had to go that week or something. It was a quick, it's a quick turnaround. There's some whiplash there for sure. Oh, God. But we were all little. You know, I was eight, and my younger siblings were ever younger than that. So, but it's sad that that's the thing that comes to mind when I go, where did we go on vacation? But no, we didn't really go on, like, vacations.

So, I mean, we probably weren't super well. When did you first get your passport? When I was an adult. I got my passport. Probably when I, no, that's, yeah, when I was an adult. I think I went for work probably for comedy. Probably. JFL or something.

Yeah. Oh, it probably was for. for JFL. Yeah. It was between like 21 and 23 for sure. Wow. When was the first time you had Nutella? Oh my God. I think as an adult. Yeah, same. Yeah, right? I thought it got invented when I was like 30. I thought it got invented when I was 33. Yeah, I thought it was like 10 years ago. I didn't know Nutella was like around for so long. Now we're getting there. It's starting to fall apart. I like this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Passport when you're adult, Nattele when you're adult. Yeah. Is Nutella like the mark or someone who had it good as a child? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He grew up with Nutella.

You did? He grew up Connecticut. Can you imagine? I'm like, you fucking seem like it. You rich. I got my passport. It must have been nice.

It had the telah at 45. Whoa. Okay. Things are going well. Good to know. Yeah, yeah. What were the posters on the wall as a kid, like in high school? Oh, this is going to be so sad.

I had like inspirational quotes. I remember I got a book of like inspirational quote. Like one of those, it's like a postcard and they're just inspired. You both did the same thing where you put your hand over your mouth. No, it was so. Like live laugh, love? Not far off. Not far off from live laugh love.

It wasn't live laugh love. It was actual quotes. I could not tell you one of them. But it was probably just like, you know, if you're scared, keep going. Like it was probably shit like that. It was probably just shy of a Bible verse. Do we totally honest with you? And those were all over the walls.

And then like maybe when I was younger, like maybe Harry Potter. But like not very long because then my. dad was like, that's the devil. So you can't have that anymore. Yeah, yeah. Magic. Did you read any of those books? I did. I read them for like a year, a year or two. And like probably got me through like my mom's death, honestly. And then my dad was like, this is, this is satanic. We can't have this in the house. How old were you when you read that? I was nine. So from like nine to 12 maybe I had Harry Potter and then it was like,

that's out. I had younger cousins that were around that age. Like when those books hit. Perfect age. Yeah, when those books hit, they were doing the same thing. And I used to look at that. You said you were nine years old. Yeah. That books are like that thick. Right. I couldn't wrap my head around anybody reading that much.

Yeah. And this is before we knew J.K. Rowling was a terrible person. So that's, I haven't heard. Back in the day. Yeah. But now you can't enjoy it. So it sucks. She ruined it.

Uh-huh. I like it. Hmm. What, uh, who was doing the cooking? Was your stepmom a good cook? Your dad, who's cooking around the house? We had, like, babysitters. So, like, my dad could, like, grill and then. he really stopped there

he could grill and I think there was like more assembling than cooking which is how I live my life now it's like I can make ingredients and then I combine them and they're pretty simple you know like it's there wasn't like oh here's a recipe

it'd be like here's grilled chicken and mashed potatoes it was like green beans and it's four cans and a bag of salad and like a loaf of bread you know it's like that kind of thing Sounds pretty good. Yeah, it's like it was everything from like the grocery store that you just have to like heat things up. Open up.

Yeah, open. Yeah, mix it up. But it wasn't like and get the paprika. Like it wasn't like that. Is it like a family dish like a buffalo chicken dip or anything like that? No. Man. We have no.

There's no. You are hardcore. There's no family dish. Did you guys have a family dish? Yeah. Really? Yeah. I didn't have anything.

I have no. I wish I had. I think I put that in the book. I wish I was someone with like a signature dish. Mm-hmm. Because I got nothing. I remember, like, my grandma made really good potato salad. All right.

And that was, like, her thing. That's good. And then my, but like, my other grandma, she claims she cannot cook, but she has a few things she makes that we're all like, make that. Like, make the chocolate cake you make. And she's like, you guys could do this. And we're like, no, we can't. We've tried. But I don't have anything like that.

And I don't think my parents had anything like that either. But again, they were busy. They were working, you know. So you were very, what was it? Self-sustaining, what's it called? Self-sufficient? Yeah, yeah. I think so.

I think so, yeah. Gotcha. But also, you know, we had babysitters and stuff that would usually kind of throw stuff together. I mean, there was like, there were meal, there were meal plans. But yeah, it wasn't a lot of like, oh. It wasn't like here. I've been cooking with my heart and soul all day. No, no, no.

It's like it takes 15 minutes. Gotcha. Okay. Would you guys have dinner together as a family? Yeah. We'd have dinner together as a family. Okay. Yeah, yeah.

Grace, I assume, before dinner? Grace every time. Wow. Every time, Grace. Yeah. I like it. Yeah, you weren't doing grace? We would do it a little bit.

Yeah. Yeah, but not something you guys were structured. Eyes open. Yeah. Yeah. In a bad Catholic kind of eye. Yeah. Yeah, no, we were eyes closed, bow down.

I feel like we'd only do it when everybody was there, I feel. Like, if it was like me, my mom and my stepdad, we weren't saying grace. But if it was like, if the five of us were together, I think he would say. You don't want to pray behind anyone's back. Yeah, exactly. You can't half ass it. It's all with nothing. What was Christmas like?

Lights on the tree. Lights on the tree, going to church. Or white? Oh, gosh. That is a great question. I think. There is an answer. There was a trashy answer.

When I was a kid, they were colored, and when I got older, they were white. Okay. That's when the real estate started out of it. I'm telling you. It's different. It is a different. He's colored is trashy, right? It's the trashier version.

How about the outside of the house? You know, it's funny? No, nothing on the outside of the house. Really? And you know, it's funny as an adult at Christmas, I put up two. trees because I'm alone and I fucking deserve it and I put the the white light tree in the living room that's like the display tree nice the nice room you don't go in no no my living room that like people are going to see and then I put a smaller one with colorful lights and

bulbs in my bedroom that's fun because that's who I am I like that I think I kind of like together she's got to keep up appearances for the people coming over it's bigger in the front room and I go okay this all works with the color scheme it's It's like greens and golds and silvers and it matches all the decor. But this is who I truly. Yeah. And then you get into my room and you're like, oh my God. Is it a real tree in your bedroom?

Of course not. No, fires. Fires. Fires. Fires. All right. L.A. is on fire like every year. Sure.

Yeah. I'm not doing that. I don't want to be the guy to do it either. That would be bad. No, of course not. No. Can you imagine if they're like, we traced it and it was someone who just got a little too excited for Christmas.

Yeah. Second Christmas tree. Oh my God. I'd be canceled so hard if I started. I started the LA fires with a second Christmas tree. How much is enough Tomlinson? Oh my God. That'd be the end of it.

She's got money for two Christmas trees. The colored lights on a Christmas tree in a bedroom's got to be cozy though. That's got to be good. Oh my God. It's so good. It's so good. And I love like the colorful lights like wrapped around the bookcase and stuff. I'm so excited for Christmas.

I'm so excited for Christmas. Huh. What was the first concert you went to? Oh my God. Not until I was an adult. I never went to a concert. I was so sheltered. I really was not.

I think the first concert I went to, I saw the killers in Las Vegas. That's a good one. As an adult, is it? Oh, thank God. I was like, did you pay for the tickets? 19 or 20, maybe?

Yeah, I paid for the tickets. Yeah, yeah, I went with a friend of mine. And I want to say they were like opening a certain venue or something. It was like the first concert at a venue, but my friend Victoria and I were both really at the killers. And so we saw the killers in Vegas. Man. And yeah.

I didn't go to a lot of concerts. What was the social life like as a teenager? All my friends were in band. All my friends were in band. Yeah, all my friends were in band. And then, like, a lot of summers, if I was grounded, I wouldn't see any of my friends. Because I would be grounded. If I didn't get straight A's, I was grounded all summer.

Whoa. Yeah. Your dad's a bit of a hard ass. Yeah, one summer I got grounded. And there wasn't much to take for me. So I remember one summer, he grounded me. He goes, you can't, not only can you not see your friends, can't use the phone, whatever. I'm going to put all your books in storage.

For the summer? For the summer. Man, your dad would have hated me. I was a loser. Jeez. When you're getting grounded from your own books, You are not cool All for straight A's?

Yeah, if I got Bs. If you got, like, what was, let's say if you came back with a B, was it like debatable? You're like, I saw it. Like, was there circumstantial? If it was a B in an AP class, it was okay because that counted as an A.

It would like up your GPA. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that was okay, but if you got a B in a regular class, not cool. What AP classes were you in? I was in AP European history. I was in AP U.S. history. I was in,

AP English for sure and then I might have done like AP, did I do like AP Chem? No, there's no way. Are you straight A's two? No, second kid. I had to do AP statistics but I didn't pass the test that you got for college credit but like I got a B in the class. It was one of those things where it was like

you're not going to get the college credit but you will get a fine grade. The class was easy like as far as getting the grade. Yeah, but it was I was so bad at math and science. It was like not good at all. But like history. You weren't, though. You were good to a degree.

I was bad at it. At math. You were just a good student so you considered yourself bad. I think you can be a good student and get by in subjects that you are bad at. You know what I mean? You can work really hard. Yeah, you can like know how to study and like take a test. And I think I knew how to do those things.

But I was like, if you asked me to do math and explain how I did it, I'd be like, I don't know, I'm not sure. And science, I was kind of like, do we need to know that? You know, I just... Did you ever cheat on a test? No, because I was so scared. Yeah, of course. I was so scared of getting caught.

By your dad or by the... Yeah, who knows what do you do that? Anybody. I mean, everyone. Well, God's always watching. So let's start with number one. Shat up to the big dog. You can't see your friends.

Are you working? No, because I was like 12. It was like 12. Everybody just had the house all day? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What are you doing all day? I could watch TV if I was on the treadmill. What?

What? You ever say something and you think it's okay? And then other people react to it and you go, am I? Was that bad? You acted in the beginning of what we were saying about how organized and how you move was out of nowhere. This is why. I think it was like you can watch TV if the whole family is watching TV and you ask for permission, but you can't any other time. And then also like, yeah, I think they probably just wanted me to lose weight.

But they were like, if you're on the treadmill, you can watch TV. But that's it. father would have drowned me in a river at an early age. I didn't know. That was an option. I would have done that years ago. That's crazy. Yeah, yeah.

So, of course, like, you know, as an adult, yeah, now I'm always like, I need to do everything perfectly. Killing it. I mean, look, here's the thing. It didn't not work. Sure. Yeah, see, that's the problem with that kind of stuff. It doesn't not work.

I know. The results are there. Also, could you go on the other way and, you know. Totally. And maybe you should have. It would have been more fun. But, you know, I remember I had a friend. friend's parent tell me once, which this was so inappropriate.

But I had a friend's parent tell me in like fifth or sixth grade, like, your parents are so strict. You're going to go crazy in college. They're like, you're going to lose. My friends did that. Yeah. And they were wrong, but they were like, you're going to go absolutely nuts. They're like, your parents are not. How old were you?

When they said that to me, I think I was, I think I was like 11 or 12. That's real fucked up to say to a girl. Isn't that fucked up? Yeah. And then you went to college. I went to college, yeah. I went to Cal Poly in San Luis Obispo and then there was like,

which is a great school, but like there's nowhere to do standup out there. You're just kind of like in a beach town and it's a great place to go to school if you want to be like an engineer or something. You were set on standup at that point. I don't think I knew that I was set on standup until I went away to school.

And then I got there and I was like, oh my God, there's nowhere to do stand up. I do really want to be doing stand up. So obviously before, so stand up happening in the background or whatever through 16 on. What was obviously your dad, there was a plan for college and career.

100%. What was that? What was that no stand up? What was the plan? I was going to be a teacher. You're going to be a teacher. I was going to be a teacher and I wanted to write like young adult novels in my free time.

Yeah, that's like what I wanted to do before stand up. Yeah. All right. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Gang, if you wake up tomorrow and change one thing about yourself, what would it be? Would it be a better athlete? be in better shape, be a better partner, a better friend.

Whatever it is, better help can help you. Get in the right mind state to be a better person. Better is a feeling defined by you, and Better Help is here to help you talk through certain things in your life. You can find a therapist who really gets you. Better Help is focus on global emotional well-being with thousands of therapists and millions of members in over 100 countries. It's not about getting awesome and perfect tomorrow.

It's about progress. Sure. And you can help that progress at betterhelp.com. I know the big man has started his mental health journey. Yeah. That's right, Kippie. I did start my mental health journey and I started at BetterHelp. Yes.

If you need talk therapy, go to BetterHelp help. Get yourself straight down. Yes, you can sign up today and get 10% off at BetterHelp.com slash garbage. That's BetterHelp. H-E-L-P-Garge today. One more time, betterhelp.com slash garbage. Do it. Kippee, like that Warby Parker?

I love Warby Parker. I love Warby Parker. You know I wear glasses. You know I wear contact lenses. Now I can get them all right there at the same store. Best thing about Warby Parker, frames. Yes. Style.

You go over to one of those other stores. You'll get an eighth grade math teacher in 1987. Real bozo stuff. Go over to Warby Parker. You're looking fresh, a little turtle shell. You know what I mean? Little rounds. Very nice.

I'm telling you right now, we love Warby Parker. Do yourself a favor and check them out. Yes. They have really streamlined the process of buying cool glasses, good glasses, good-looking, stylish glasses, easier. The entire experience from front to back. Yeah, now you can actually go into one of their stores.

You can get an eye exam right there. There's no running around to multiple spots. You got to go here. You got to take the referral over, get a paper, hey, they send the receipt, blah, blah, blah. There's no guessing if your prescription is up to date. Everything is super clean, modern, and feels more like a wellness experience in your typical eye doctor visit. You know what I mean? They're focused on the forward.

These old doctors are part of the past, baby. It's like going to the 1970s. They're in there smoking cigs in a break room. I can smell them. Not Warby Parker, these other doctors. Of course. That won't be mentioned. They got the style and color, whether they're prescription or sunglasses.

When it comes to quality for the price, Warby Parker is best. You get eye-stop shop. Listen, eye exams, glasses, contacts, sunglasses. You don't have to piece it together anymore in over 300 retail stores in the USA, Daddy. Right now, buy one pair of glasses and get 20% off an additional pairs at Warbyparker.com. That's 20% off any additional pairs. When you purchase one pair at W-A-R-B-B-Y Parker.com slash garbage. Do it.

When you were 16 at your hometown, you were doing spots? Not really spots. It was more so like things at the church. It was like, yeah, it was like churches and like schools and fundraisers and like,

you know, Karen, that woman from our church, she did a lot of like public speaking engagements, like because she had been a teacher and I think she was retired and she was doing. So she was like actually finding us like shows to do. And like it was,

she's really, yeah, she's also. You know, the, Christian comedy. Yeah, like a Christian comedy circuit. I know.

I was in there for years. Really. Really huge. Yeah. And it was part of the reason I was like making money so young because you were like if you could do Christian comedy circuit, you can make serious money doing that. Yeah. You were at 16. You were handling that?

At 16 you're making, you know, but like at 16 you can make like a couple hundred bucks from a bit, which is not something you're making at an open mic. Yeah, exactly. I would assume that you're all you've always been good with money. Correct? I think so. I think so. I mean, yeah, like, I don't necessarily, I wouldn't say, like, oh, I could tell you how to invest. Like, I'm not good with money in that way.

You're not responsible. But, yeah, I'm responsible. Yes, I'm responsible with money. Absolutely. See, even that question is, like, shows, like, where her brain's at, where you go, like, hey, you're not, no one's ever answered the question like that. Really? No one's ever said, hey, are you good with money? They go, yeah, and you went, well, I can't invest.

It's like, I, I know I'm supposed to, and I have people doing it. Sure. But I couldn't give anyone else. But even your head went to the highest level of the possibility of investment. I can't invest, but like we just meant, have you ever, you know, spent 15 grand on a wave runner? I told you, I'm annoying. Like, I'm so annoyed. I'm so annoyed.

Like, when people are like, do you have a hobby, I'm like, well, I can't. They're like, do you read? I'm like, not enough to say it's a hobby. If reading's a hobby, you're reading four books a week. And they're like, that's not. You don't have to relax. I don't read four books a week. No, that's what I'm saying.

What are you doing your spare time? You're obviously a very dedicated, a very career-driven, oriented, successful. What is like you got four days off the road, whatever. What does some downtime look like? I mean, I like to read. I like a walk. I like a walk.

I like a hike. I like, I'm an AMC Stubbs member. I see most movies. Okay. Like that. Yeah. So I think if I have four days off, the thing is, though, if I do have like a full day off,

I might spend part of it like writing at a coffee shop because I love to try and write jokes when I don't have anything like weighing on me. Yeah. So then I do kind of go like, oh man, I can work with no demands on it today. Like there's no deadline. Like to me,

working with no deadline is like luxurious. I'm really hearing myself talk and I'm worried about me. I'm worried about me. You're dialed in. It's crazy we're the same species. It's nuts. When you get emails about me, you got forward them to me.

What does your father think when you were like, I want to pursue stand up? You're grounded Well, the thing is it was Like at the time it was like doing Christian comedy So I think he thought it was pretty cool Part of the church, it's a year

Yeah, part of the church like you know So it was a lucrative Yeah, yeah So I think it was maybe a little bit It was different when I was like swearing And stuff on stage But that was years later so But I think initially yeah

I thought it was pretty cool Yeah Do you guys ask the same questions on every episode? A lot I mean there's a good event You guys have a rubric Sure You know we The Arie Garbage Rubric

Whatever the guest gives us, we'll, you know, tailor to that a little bit. So Nutella's big and the Christmas life is big. There's some touch poems. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I can tell when you're like, and that's, you light up in a way. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is a very unique case. Yeah.

To a degree. Is it? Yeah. Well, yeah, I mean, you've had you, you know, of a different childhood than most comics, for sure, you know. And, you know, being the fact that you started so young and you've been in it for so long, you know, it's been a chunk of your life at this. Over half my life. Yeah, of course.

Getting it successful, we get why it's, yeah. That's nice. Thanks. Yeah, it is weird. Yeah, it is strange. Because, yeah, I think, what would you say most people stand up at? 22? 20s probably, yeah.

After college, kind of, you know, a little bit. I think it's probably for the most people. Yeah, so I was, you know, late bloomer 30. 32. Yeah. But that's good if someone should talk about. Like, you'd live so much life. Sure.

you're like I'll take it I'll take a sip real quick Your Honor please A moment for my client I don't think I've ever sat in a coffee shop or anything It's crazy suicide note Do you write on stage?

I never understood what that meant Like do you have a pen and paper right now? Have you ever written a joke? What do you? Cut that That's a great line of questioning Not in the sense that you would think of it I would say

Well I think right on stage is probably What I mean then right? Right on stage is like do you just You try stuff out that you've thought of On stage Are you looking to me? She's talking to you. But you never like, you never sit and think.

You just kind of go up and you go like, oh, I have an, I want to talk about this subject. Yeah. And I'll find it. Okay, yeah. So that's writing on stage. Yeah. Yeah. I guess so.

I think our approach is. That's the cooler way to do it. You thought writing on stage been going out with a pen and a paper and then like having people watch you write stuff down? Yeah. Hey guys, thanks you're paying the $40 tickets. I want to write on stage. Well, I think writing on stage is like the cool.

That's like the cool answer. You're the opposite of that. Yeah. Yeah, no, I think I need to go up with like some punchlines I've thought of. And then once those start working, then I can kind of like, okay, let's follow these paths. But that's writing on stage. Like, I don't write the punchlines down. I have the thoughts in my head.

No, I write the punchlines down. And then I go on stage with those punchlines I've written down. And I try out those punchlines. And then I try to tag those punchlines from my head maybe. But I don't. I go up with stuff I wrote down. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. So there's a more organized, structured, professional version of that. Yeah. Which is the better. I don't know if it's better. It's whatever works for you. Yeah, it's whatever works for you.

If you can figure out what works for you is that's the hardest thing to do, but that makes everything easier. Yeah. See, I've always thought it was like just less cool that I had to do that. More anxiety on that side. Really?

Path of least resistance. Yeah. Do you listen to all your sets? Yeah, I listen to a lot of them. Not every single one, but I do listen to, I listen to my sets.

Do you record all your sets? Yeah. Yeah. Do you listen to them? Uh, yeah. If I know, if there's stuff that I know I like, oh, I need to hear that again. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Or if I'm writing. It's homework. It's brutal. It's sucks. But it's so helpful every time you're like, fuck. I keep doing it.

I heard a great quote the other day. It was by a, I think it was like a quarterback coach or a football coach. He was like, it was the tape. I know. John Matt. It was, he's like, what? I was talking about watching game game. And he's like, it's never as bad as you think. And it's never as good as you think. and then ever as good as you think is really good. You're like, yeah, listen to the ones that you thought were amazing. You're like, I don't even need to listen to that. I was whatever.

It was so good. And you listen, you're like, maybe the mics weren't picking this off or something. I mean, it's like you start going like, ah, it's not as good as I thought. It's so brutal. You're so right about that. Yeah, that's a good quote. Okay. Huh.

How do you, wait, I just had a good one that I wanted to ask you. Well, you said you're in the, what is it, the stub? AMC Stubbs. What is that specific? It's like a monthly fee and you can see up to four movies a week. It's crazy. You just make the reservations. You got to make the reservation.

Do you ever have a movie pass? Did you ever get on the movie pass? I didn't. I was about to and then I think it started tanking. Well, yeah, because it wasn't, I don't know how that. It was short-lived. Of course, because it was ridiculous. It was like you could go to as many movies as you wanted.

And they were buying the tickets. Yeah, it was. Which didn't make any sense. No, it made no sense. So this is like a better version of that. Okay. But you can only see four in a week. But like most of the times you're not going to see four in a week.

week. But sometimes you do. You won't go see four movies in a week? I have when it's like, you know, if it's like Oscar season and I have a week off. Like, yeah, of course. Especially like when your voice is so tired from the road and like you want to catch up with people at home. But that's what I love a movie date. I love a movie like friend hang. Movie solo. We do movie solo. Love a movie solo. Like sometimes I go to the movies. I'm like, I don't even know if I wanted to see this or if I just wanted to drink a Diet Coke in the dark. Yeah. Good. That brings her next question. what's the movie snacks

and when you sneak anything in of course I'm always sneaking stuff in I'm sneaking my own popcorn in because you'll get the stuff from a place that's cheaper and bring it in yeah that's cheaper and like healthier usually like what like a well you go to get popcorn in the movie theater

it might be stale sometimes it's amazing and sometimes it just tastes weird sometimes there's like again lactose intolerant sometimes it's like a butter chemical but then sometimes you're like that was fucking butter like you know you just don't know and so I like to like bring my own

what's the brand you like I like lesser evil. I like that one. They got like coconut oil. They got like butter flavored, but it's not butter. It's good. Who would you pick up something like that? Whole foods?

Whole foods. They got a. Staples? Staples. They got it everywhere. Yeah, they got it everywhere. I've seen this guy. You've seen this.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's good. Or I do have an air popper at home. Some of as I'll do that. You'll make your own popcorn? Yeah. In what vessel to the movie? It's an air popper.

Oh, you put it in just like a, you let it cool. Like a Ziplock bag? Where do you put that zip lock? That's kind of, that's garbage. It's very, yeah. No, we're not done our line of questioning on the, on the, on the, but it is and it isn't. It is and it isn't, right? You're right.

First of all, it's in the garbage. It's a classier version of being a dirt bag for sure. But she's, yeah. I assume you're very organized as well. Yeah. Generally or the popcorn? Hold on, hold on. Where do you wear the popcorn?

It's all my size. I go largest or smallest. I'll bring my own Diet Coke What? Hold on, hold on. We're going to get the Diet Coke with the ice? No, I bring it with me. A can or a bottle? I will get, I will, uh, I usually do can.

Do you do a straw? I, I will do a straw if it's available to me, but not usually if I'm bringing it with me somewhere. I know I'm supposed to. Where are you putting? Hold on, hold on. Where are you putting the stuff? Just a tote bag. In a tote bag.

So you have popcorn and soda and what are things? They're not checking. They're not checking here for Diet Coke and homemade popcorn. Also, they're not checking. Yeah. You know? They should be, but they're not. Yeah.

What else is in that tote? You got the popcorn, you got the soda, that's it? No, it depends. Popcorn in a Ziplock bag. Yeah. Or is it in a Tupperware thing? It's in a Ziploc bag. All right.

I've never even thought to put it in a Tupperware. I figured you'd have it in a glass Tupperware container. Oh, man, that would be better, huh? I have that too. I should do that. But you got tons of them. No, I'm putting in a plastic bag. That's really gross.

No, it's still completely fine. Okay, it's fine. All right. Yeah, it's sharp and organized. Yeah, yeah. And then, like, sometimes I'll do, like, a dark chocolate for... What kind of brand do you like? I like the...

Oh, God, what's it called? It's the... Is it... Is it H? Is it H-U? Oh, Hugh. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, right? Yeah, yeah.

The brown wrapper? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like that one. Okay, classy. She's got a couple of bucks on her. And he's C-Sold? I like the dark chocolate. C-s salt.

Yeah, the salty dark chocolate. Yeah. Operator. Yeah. That's a touch of class, right? Very much. Touch of class. Popcorn aside.

Touch of class. I can't say it's trashy, obviously. It's a responsible thing. But I get the snacks. I don't get the low cow popcorn. That's crazy to me. A Diet Coke in a can. You don't like that.

Like the movies? A lot of times, yeah. That's the thing that I will buy at the movies. If I'm buying anything, it's that. Okay. It's like a big Diet Coke. Right. With the ice.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got you. God. Yeah. But if I can just bring one in a can from home that's cold already. But it's not going to be cold. I also don't want that much Diet Coke. Who wants this much that's crazy too? You want you drink that whole thing? Oh my God. I'll go get refills. What about like acid reflux? You don't do what that? Welcome to my life. Welcome to the show. Make next you every day. No, I need like I need like four sips. I need like four gulps of a Diet Coke and I'm good. That's why I like the mini cans. That's crazy. Any more than that, I'm like, oh my God, I'm not going to be able to sleep.

I got you. Yeah. Okay. I didn't know acid reflux could be stress induced. And when I found that out. Do you have acid reflux? That's the best kind. I don't know.

I think maybe yes. Do you get heartburn a lot? I don't know. I thought heartburn was something else. It kind of is. Right. I have acid reflux. I was as I was a kid.

Acid reflux is like it's in your... When it comes up. But I don't feel it come up, but I can feel it when my throat is like... That's acid reflux? Right. Okay. Diet Coke used you that? I thought you could feel like it?

it though. The bubbles. Maybe it's like, yeah, I think Diet Coke does that if I have too much caffeine, I think is what happens. You see, I would just drink through that. Because I went to an E&T and they were like, yes, too much caffeine. And I was like, oh. And the bubbles too. Yeah. Man. Sometimes you got to do it. Twizzlers, anything like that. I mean, not usually. I'll do like, I like like the smart sweets. You ever have the,

it's tough. I've seen them. Man, new guy Luke is all over your. These are really... Smart sweets. This is embarrassing. You liked them or not like... No, but my girl loves them. Yeah, see, then I knew you were going to say that. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Even the packaging looks like something I would never get. Two grams of sugar, you're ripping me off. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Take good money for that sugar. You don't like Stevie? No, they got some new, like, cloud ones that are really good. Those are good, right? See?

New guy looks in. He's a candy guy operates in both worlds. Yeah, if your boyfriend... If you're listening to this, and your boyfriend is a dick about your smart sweets, Get the pillowy cloud once. That'll convert them. You're right on board.

All right, you travel a lot, obviously. Do you have an airline you like to fly? I like Delta. Delta's number one. Are you diamond? Yeah. Diamond Meda? I think so, yeah.

I think so. But also now I will kind of just go with whatever is a direct. Like for a long time, I was like Delta no matter what. And now I'm like... You would do a layover to stay Delta? No, I'm saying I used to. Used to what I'm saying? Now I'm like, where's the direct?

We're just going to get on that. I just, I try to avoid. United. Hey, who doesn't? I mean, why? Because I feel like United is always like, hey, we overbooked the flight by 80 people. Can anyone like move here and we'll give you $10? Like that's like, that's like every United flight I've ever been on.

You were taking that offer when they offer? When I was younger, I have when they were like, do you want to stay at the Denver airport for nine hours and we'll give you $100? And I was like, absolutely. Yeah, I'm like, he's just my I've ever made. But then you find out you don't get it for three weeks and it. gift card. Yeah.

We were flying out of... And then you don't do it anymore. We were flying out of L.A. last week, and they were somebody, they were going to like, I don't know, Cancun or somewhere, and they were like, the guy's like, we're giving, he's like, before he even said the number, he's like, cash, $800 a person.

We need cash. It's like, the flights in eight hours, or maybe his comeback. It was like, late. It was the next day. It was the next day. And he's like... Kind of tugging out. And dude, you're going to come up at the airport.

Dude, there was this couple. The guy looked at his girl. they were like, I don't know if they were on their honeymoon or anniversary or what. And he's like, can't pass that out? He's like, 800 ahead. She's like, don't you even think about it? Well, here's the thing is like, how much was the hotel? That's, of course.

You know what I mean? Because it's like. You lost the night at the hotel. You got to go home. You got to get back to the whatever. They've got to get back to the airport. Check in nothing. So it sounds good, but at the end of the day.

When the rubber hits the road, it's a tough load. I'm slightly scared to ask this. Oh, no. Are you up front? You're flying first class. Yeah. Now I am. Oh, now I am.

When did you start that? I don't know. Maybe. You said like a year ago, I'm going to freak out. It wasn't a year ago, no. It was maybe, I want to say like maybe three years ago, right? When was COVID? I think maybe 2022.

So maybe four. Four? Four years. That was about the same time we did. I mean, we did it way too early. We started doing it way too early. But once we did it, I was like, I can't go back. I think it was the journey.

Like, COVID really freaks me out and fucks me up. And so I was like, okay, I'm going to start. paying for this because I'm gonna get sick less. Gotcha. Bring food on the plane. I bring food on. I never eat on the plane. But is it your healthy, clean, good food?

Yeah, I never eat a tuna hoag. No, no, no. I never, but we took, I took chick filet on the plane. I brought like the grilled nuggets from chickfly on the plane.

That's not good. And then I felt bad. It's not good. No. Because it's smells. Yeah. I know. And I felt bad,

but we had a really tight connection. And I was like, I'm sorry guys. But I also, you know what? I'll bring, I'll say it. I'll bring hard bold eggs on a plane.

But I didn't make them at home. Have you had the hard bold eggs from the airport? They don't smell like anything. That's crazy. That's a crazy sentence. They don't. Have you smelled them? Those bags are so scary.

Yeah, but have you actually had it? Because you open them, they don't smell. I don't know what they're putting on there preservatives-wise. It can't be good. But they don't smell. The smell is contained. I don't know how they do it. So I will eat a hard-bolding on a plane.

And I make quick work of it. For health purposes. For health purposes, yes. Yeah. One of us have ever had a hard-willed-ed-egg in that manner. In that setting. Yeah. Jammy egg.

A jammy egg. Okay. All right. See, on a plane, are you eating the in-flight meal? I stopped. We're both on a weight loss journey. I stopped. I had it last week.

I mean, short-ripped. Short-ripped. It's awesome. In the sky. Is that crazy to you? I mean, it's just. Would you ever? No, I just don't trust.

I don't know. We're so far. Trust what? We're just so far from a kitchen. No, I agree. I don't know. For some reason, Delta throws out like three shrimp to you and you go, well, this is

wild work. Oh, I know the shrimp you're talking about? It's crazy. They're great. That's wild. It's like a shrimp cocktail. No. Really? It's a food-christening cocktail. You know what else? By the way, on the topic, sorry, you all, on the topic of the smells, I'm sorry, you're in-flight.

Your in-flight meal smells so much worse than my hard-boiled days. You know what we're talking about. You're not wrong. But that's not me. They're cooking those meals whether I have it or not. Hey, don't play, don't pay them to play or playing the game. And it lingers on the cabin. A hard boiled egg.

Yeah. Is, yeah. And they, I'm sorry. I know what I'm doing. But everyone else is going to eat the thing and I'm not going to contribute to that cloud. You think that's gross.

Yes, I think these, sometimes it smells good. And then other times you're like, what the fuck is that? That's a good point. I've never had that. Dave, I've seen them be like, you want the clam chowder?

I'm like, on this eight hour flight, no. Also, think about that if you're not eaten and then so they just They throw some shrimp down on the guy next to you. You'd be like, what the hell is this? You can't get mad about an egg when there's seafood out. Yeah. Also, I'm not going to gamble with my bowels on a cross-country flight like that. I wrote dice.

Roll the dice. Room temperature, shrimp. Hit me, baby. Let's go. Man. Huh. Do you take your shoes off on the plane? Never.

Do you take your shoes off on the plane? Cross-country. That we're the same species as crazy. You're coming for me for hard-bolled eggs. and you take your shoes off on the plane? This is our show. Are you a fucking, Okay, all right.

You're like, I never claim to be classy. That's also a fun thing in the show. We accuse people of being trash, and at some point they go, what about you? Wait a say. Yeah, but we are dirt bags.

And in this situation, we think the hard-boiled egg is trashy because just the way hard-boiled egg smell and just as dirt balls, eating a hard-billed-eague for health reasons is foreign to us. Yeah. So we're taking that shot.

I mean, eating anything out of a clear, bag, which I've noticed I do that across the board everywhere. The movie theater on the plane. I'm eating everything out of a clear bag and that is pretty gross. No, there's a little bit of juice in there that freaks me out. Yeah, it's gross. There's like an environment in there. There's a climate of its own in the bag.

That's where the smell stays. I'm just gagged right there. You put your seat back? I don't put my seat back either. Why? Not unless it's like the middle of the night. That's the only time I do it. I try not to, because I hate it when people put their seats back.

Sure. So I try not to put my seat back. Want to be the change you want to see in the world? You know what I mean? You watch a movie on the plane? Depends. I like to. Right.

I like to work on the plane. But I like to book like other flights on the plane. Like I really lock in. Yeah, I do a lot of ad men. You're booking your own flights? Yeah. No one can do it like me. You're booking your own flights.

I like this girl. I'm booking my own flights. You're good. Well, if I also, I have like a whole team of people. I will have a flight. Me too, they'll stink. No, they're all great, but like, I'll have a flight that gets delayed or something. And I'm texting my team like, hey, I'm not going to make my connection.

Can you guys look for other flights? And they won't respond for three minutes. And I'll go, never mind. I already did it. Like, I already did it. And it's, you know, it's, I've been doing this for a decade. You know what I mean? Like, no one's going to be.

I remember at one point, my manager was like, you should hire a travel agent. And I was like, what travel agent is going to be? as fast as me. I'm booking my openers flights a lot of times with my. Yeah, it's like, it's just faster if I do it and I've been doing it for so long, it's easy for me. And you know what you like and what you like? Just when it glanche goes, not for me, not for me, that's it. Yep, yep. And you know what websites to use and it's just much fat. And all my stuff is saved. Oh, I got you. When you can do the, and the frequent companion thing, it's like, it's so easy. So I like to do that on the plane. I'll read on the plane. I will watch movies on the plane.

I like to watch like a bad show or like a show I never would have watched on the plane. I started doing that. Yeah? What did you watch? I watched Tulsa King. How was that? It's pretty good. It's pretty bad and corny but good.

And I watched one of the yellow stone offshoots. That's exactly what you should be watching on the plane. Yep. I watched, which I consider this kind of a yellow stone offshoot because it's Taylor Sheridan, who did all those, right? Landman. It's the, no, not that one. The one of Zoe Zaldana.

Oh, Ryan. Yes, yes, which is not something I would ever watch. And once I got back on the ground, I was like, I'm not super interested in this military show anymore, but up in the sky for whatever reason. Give it an Emmy. Up in the air, I was like, whoa, this is riveting. And then I got down there and I was like, I don't think this is for me actually. You ever see Sicario?

Yes. I think I saw it in Sheridan, too. Yeah, that makes sense. I think I saw that in theaters. Dude's a killer. That was crazy. It's all, yeah, it feels all the same. Yeah, once you see it, you're like, I can't unseeing.

this feels like that guy. It's for dads. Okay. It's a dad show. And as a dad, it's got the dad's stamp of approval. Hey. You know what?

Dad's really like me for some reason. Dad's like like my comedy. Not like in a weird way. I gotta be honest. Not a fan. Well, you don't have to. You're a new dad. You'll come around.

When your kid's a teen, you're gonna be like, you know who I like. I met her one time. I swear to God. No, I get like, I get girls who are like 22 who are like my dad introduced me to you. Really?

You're dad? Like, or maybe I'm just the thing that dads are like, I can stomach this, this comedy, I'm going to try to connect with my daughter about it. That kind of makes, I mean, obviously, you're sharp, funny, transcend, good, funny, you know, obviously, it all transcends. I think it's dads with, like, teenage daughters

who are probably looking for ways to connect. Sure, that makes sense. Yeah, I think that's, it's a good dads with teens. I mean, listen, we're running out of time here. I got to be honest with you, you really flipped it on me. I thought you were a mid-year. West, classy, broad, Europe, California,

your Temecula trash, I'm not being honest with you. Absolutely. That's what you're saying because of the eggs? What makes her trash? I mean... Organized, sharp. I'm not, listen. The reason she's doing that stuff.

I'm going to say you're all class. I'm going to blow up this podcast. It's over after this stuff. No way, dude. They couldn't agree. It's garbage. Eggs on a plane, guy. Eggs on a plane.

But my shoes are on and my seats up. She's making popcorn at home and taking it to the movie. theater. Yeah. That's, but it's like good popcorn. Oh, you're, you're compromised. Did she get to you? Look, I, this is, honestly, this is the best outcome I could have asked for. She says everything I'm not as far as like being. I know, but you're, you're, you're, you're, you're focusing on the things that you don't do because you're in the middle of a personal crisis. Sure. I booked my first flight like three months ago. Really? Yeah. Someone else has been doing it for you? Yeah, me. Whoa. Oh, there you go. I only ever flew for comedy. Wow. Oh, see, and when I see other people who can trust someone else to book their stuff, I'm like, well.

I mean, there was no option. It was either he didn't make the show. He didn't make the show in Boston or, you know, I booked it. That's so funny. Yeah, I know. There are some people who like, they'll be like, my managers book all my fights. And I'm like, that's crazy. I'm like, managers don't do that.

You just can't get it together. Like, I think they were just like, oh, if we want them to go do the show, we have to book it. And I've just never even thought to do that. All in-house, baby. But you know what? I think this is like, honestly, a. perfect assessment because this is how I feel like when I'm dating, I'm kind of like, I think I'm either like a huge catch or like a huge red flag.

Depending on which, which way, I could argue both ways for real and not even on different points. I'm like, professional comedian, whoa, that's amazing. Also, yikes, not sure about that. So like, honestly, this feels very on brand for me. You at least walk in both worlds. If somebody comes in your house and they're messy, is that an issue with you? like if they have dirt

dirt on their shoes and stuff? Sure. Yeah. Is that, if someone tracks mud into your house? What indicator is that? I don't know. I think I'm like classy trash.

Yeah. I mean, you're dead. Sure. Yeah. Listen, I think you're trashy. I'm not,

I don't know why we're painting it as like that's a horrible grade of character. You're very smart, driven, hardworking, talented, all of that aside. You're eating fucking eggs in first class.

There's no way around that. I can't do you. The low-calorie fucking low-sugar. I'm a plastic bag, but I'm in the wind. She's bringing her own Diet Coke. That's- That's trashy, dude. You're sneaking in a can of Diet Coke? I'm flying high, but I am garbage.

She's a famous comedian. She's sneaking in a can of Diet Coke. Well, yeah, I wouldn't do anything like that. You're getting the big Diet Coke. I'm buying the movie theater. Is there anything you're going to start doing because of this? Have I changed anything for you? No.

No. All right. Well, I did my best. Yeah. I love you. Thank you so much. This is so fun. Thank you for having me, guys.

Ashley, never mind. New Book Out. Taylor Thompson, congratulations. Thank you so much. We love you. Kippie, you got anything for them? Guys, we're all over the road. The Army of Garbage Tour is on sale right now.

Get them at ruggarbage.com. We love you. Taylor, what about you? You got anything? Yeah, I'm going on tour in February, and those tickets are on my website, Taylor Thompsoncom, or in the links in all my bios at Taylor Thompson on Instagram, all that good stuff.

Let's go. Love it. Congratulations on all your success. Thank you. Congratulations on the book. Thank you so much. Yeah. Gang, we love you.

We'll see you next week. Peace.