Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - The Best Dive Bars! w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Episode Date: May 4, 2026

Are You Garbage is back with Kevin Ryan and H. Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. It's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! NEW AYG MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ AYG 2026 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored By: Aura Frames: Exclusive $25-off Carver Mat at https://on.auraframes.com/GARBAGE. Promo Code GARBAGE Warby Parker: Our listeners can buy one prescription pair and get 20% off additional pairs at https://warbyparker.com/GARBAGE — and using our link helps support the show. Promo Code: GARBAGE Blue Chew: Right now, when you buy two months of BlueChew Gold, you get the third for FREE with promo code GARBAGE. https://bluechew.com Quince: Go to https://Quince.com/garbage for free shipping and 365-day returns. Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Holy moly New York City in the surrounding areas. Are You Garbage and Friends is back. We're going to be down there at the Comedy Cellar, May 18th and June 15th. You got two chances to see us, so come on out. Yeah, tickets available to are you garbage.com. We got some of our favorite guests coming to play, AYG with the crowd. It's a small venue, so get your tickets before this a lot. We'll see you there.

Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is RU. Garbage. Oh, yeah. It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find that they're good to be classy. Yeah. Just a big old piece of trash. Trashash.

I'm your host, age fully coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Tootie's in the new edition. She says she's done with Chinese food. Okay. That's it. That's what she hit me with. It's a political stance. I said, yeah, I said, you do you.

I was like, is this got to do with anything? She's like, no, I'm just not eating it. Okay. My co-os is coming out of you from across the tables. We call a family episode. Just the boys, the bozos, and the homies just to where you like it. Give it up for my best pal in the world. Kevin, James, Ryan.

Hey, what up, gang. How about that? How about that? I like it. As always, please make sure you review, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. Full video available over there on spot of his eye. And obviously the greatest website of all time,

www.w.com. Sarty garbage, go over there, you get all that bonus content. Not to mention the boys are on the road, Daney. Get your tickets. We got L.A. coming up. This week, we got L.A. Tickets. They may not be available.

I don't know. You snooze. lose maybe we got uh Portland main we got Atlantic City we got Cleveland we got Pittsburgh we got I think that might be it whatever all tickets available at are you garbage dot com I'm excited about that whole stretch right there a lot of my favorite places yeah except for one la la land listen if you're out there I'm gonna say we really need you out there and I'll tell you why because the bug man needs backup out of LA I need you out there I need you out there he don't want you out there he need you out there gang

A bug man back in L.A. God damn it. I always wanted to love L.A. And I love L.A. It don't love you, though. It doesn't. It's a dirty bitch. It tries to hurt me.

Not tries. Oh, yeah. Get you good. Get you good. Hey, you're right in the chops. Beautiful place, nice restaurants, beautiful, talented people. I love the scenery. I love the weather.

I'm an L.A. guy. No, you ain't. No, you ain't. That place chewed you up to spit you out. Twice. Turned you out. I saw you a hooking down there on sunset. Fuck, it really did turn me.

It turns you out. You went at the L.A. It kind of turns me on a lot. Yeah, go back. Yeah, a little bitch, aren't I? He landed L.A. Ramon picks me up at the airport. I'll see you later.

What the fuck? I'm carrying all the bags. Like a pimp. It's thrown in the back. Yeah. Yeah, L'A. It's going to be fun, man. It'll be good.

We're about to be back out there. La Lala, man. No one leaves. Damn it. Oh, don't California. Yeah. Yeah, that is really you, dude. We've been out there like five.

Are you done? Don Henley? No. No. Yeah, it's far from it. I'm more of a Glenn Frye, man. You're Don Henley playing the drums and singing. He's got a voice of a generation.

Playing the drums and singing. Get out of here. You got to be ultra-talented to pull that off. Get somebody else to play the goddamn drums. Get up there and sing. I used to hate when Philip Collins did that shit. He pulled it off. He told me Don Henley didn't pull.

I mean, your head is so far up. Your ass. Imagine that statement. Yeah, Don Henley has never pulled it off. He didn't really do it for him. Oh, he didn't do it for you? Seven million records. Today we're talking about dive bar, something near and dear to our hearts.

I'd never been to one. Tell that to the frolic room out there and Lala. Which was, I think the last time we were, me and you were posting up proper in a night as a dive of dives. But I was searching for a dive bar a few nights ago. Me and our good pal, Dr. Rubinoff, had some bopping around the city doing some spots. In New York City. New York City, New York. Really?

And I meet up with him. It's probably finish up around 1115. Oh, it's a dive bar out. 1115 Saturday night. Got some spots on your belt, a couple of bucks burning a hole in my pocket, looking to take the edge. You're going to lay some money on a bar. I'm in the East Village.

Uh-huh. Prime dive locale. That's where you want to go. Tell you that right now. Yes and no, though. It's changed a lot. Right, because one of those bars over there on second Ave got cool, I guess. The library or whatever it is?

No, libraries are. I has a decent dive. A little trendy, a little cool guy dive, but a solid dive. What do you mean exactly? A place called Coopers. Coopers? Yeah, it's on second. It's like a bar.

On second and fifth? Yeah. That place got cool. Yeah. Right? And now there's a line. I mean, you probably know it with your young cool kids. I've been fucked up in there.

Yeah. It stinks, though. Yeah, it's whatever. Nothing here nor there. It just recently got pretty hot. Because I've been walking between New York comedy clubs on 24th and 4th, right down Second Avenue for years. And I've never seen a line.

There was a line of about a hundred people to get in. A line for Cooper? To get in that joint. Wait, this must have just happened then. I feel like, I mean, it's always... It's like a popular, like, kind of Saturday brunch kind of hanging out all day drinking. It must have recently got cool, like, cool to the point where I've never seen a line. He's nuked these fucking...

These kids. You know what I mean? I can't stay. What do you want? They go in. It's, it's, you know, whatever. That all aside, all the dives around there now. Yeah.

Have gotten infiltrated and are packed with these people that can't get in or they, we're going to go to wherever. And then, you know, you know how like the seller has all like those, the comedy stuff that pops up around it. Yeah. It's all filled with the run over from the seller. Similar to this. So we went to like four different of our dives.

And they were all just pot. I held in with fucking new guy Luke's and their sparries. So you were at the 206 version of a Cooper's? We were trying. I mean, we weren't. Obviously, we don't want to go to Coopers. But all of our normal haunts, the fish bar, which is like, I think it's called. I don't even.

That's the good thing about a dive, especially in New York. You're just like, oh, I know it's midway up the, I've walked by it a bunch. You can just, you know, there's no signage. There's no. You pop in, you pop out. That shade bar is sometimes tough to get into, too. Very much so. But that's not a dive.

That's a, that's a clea. Of course. For a guy like me, it's a classy What I think dive, I think places that you like to go to get all fucked up. To a degree. It's Gallagher's. Sure.

Which I bumped in. I was in Central Park. Pumped in me? No. What? I didn't say how. What? Jerry. I was walking. Have you ever done that, by the way? What?

You ever walked by, see me anywhere and didn't say anything? I bet you have. I respect it. No, that's crazy. I'm wearing a cape. Um, no, but I was in Central Park this weekend, and, uh, I was, uh, I was pushing the baby trying to get him to sleep. He likes to be movies and nap time. And this, I'm walking by and this is a young couple kid.

And he's like, holy shit, Kippy. I'm like, what's up, man? Like, I'm trying to be like, fuck. Dude, the baby's eyes are like, like, clothe and nod. I'm like, huge thing. Can I get a picture? I'm like, yeah, what's up, dude? I don't, thanks to support, you know, like trying to, I don't want to tell him to.

Young kid? younger. Look at you. Not, I mean, look at me. Can you go to Cooper's? Can you get me a table of Cooper's, a new guy Luke? He, uh, and then as he's taking, he's all jazzy, he's taking his pictures, the girl goes, who is this?

And I was like, ooh, all right, right back to reality. And she's like, uh, he's like, this is Kippy Kevin James Ryan. And she's like, I don't know. Oh, what the fuck? He's like, from R. She's like, oh, we're getting to Gallagher's tonight. I was like, oh, she said, oh, she got it. Okay, good.

I guess they were in town visiting or so. Nice. But. Thank God. Yeah. That would have ruined everything. Needed a win. Fucking bears him in front of my son.

Ew. Who are you? You look down to baby's awake and he's just shaking his head. It's like, this guy stinks. That's good. But it got me thinking as we were going to dive to dive and some were too crowded, too loud, just whatever. Is this Saturday? Saturday night.

Saturday night. Uh-huh. Now, are you doing one at least? No, we're not even. Some of them are just like, you're like, I'm not fighting that. It's, imagine if you, the normal spots that we would go, you open the door or C3, it's just packed. And you're like, that's not what a dive. A dive should be everybody's at that gets a seat or half the group you're with gets a seat. And it's a very.

Should be somewhat empty. It should, that, of course. That's what I'm saying. There should be like, it shouldn't be wall to wall. And the great thing about a New York City dive is that like the transient. You get people that are coming one for before dinner, one for after dinner. You got the guy who's posted up in the corner. You got a group of friends.

It's like very half the people are posted the fuck up. The other half are cycling in and out type thing. You know what I mean? So you walked at a couple of places. Oh, most of them. It sucks. You did that to me. That was a realization moment for me.

We did that like, what, two thursdays ago when we did the, when we did the 7th of the, a dollar show and you went out for drinks afterwards. We went to like four places and didn't walk in. That was me, you and Ari. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, that wasn't me. That was like, we were all looking to sit down and get a table and talk. I know.

I personified it with you, though. Getting old. I'm getting old. I'm getting home. Yeah, a little bit. Sure, I'm an old man. You're not the young gunslinger used to be. Kevin, I know would have walked in there.

Oh. Who's got 20 I can borrow. What stinks in here? Yeah. But, yeah. I mean, we were looking for a table or whatever. But that was a bit of the impetus of, you know, the idea of what makes a good bar. We wanted to hear from the Patreon homies, stories of dive bars, what they like in a dive bar, the specials.

And I got to be honest with you, the homies, the homies get you thirsty a little bit. Oh, buddy, it ain't, it ain't. You ain't lying, dog. All right, let's see, let's get into it. This one's from Patty's Equal Dealer. That's pretty good. That's not. Oh, Patty's an equal dealer.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Straight to the plug with her. This is the Black Horse London Pub in San Francisco. Like the name. Which we were in a great dive in San Francisco. We watched the... There was that guy that was driving around said he was going to come back and shoot the place or whatever. That's a dive bar.

That's a dive bar. There's not some method driving around with bare feet in a... Yeah. People are going, what's he up to? What's he up to? That wasn't a nice. That was a dive. You walk in, I like a dive that's kind of, not dangerous, but you go like, I'm walking in, there's regulars, they're eyeing me, they're, they're doing the inventory on me.

Sure. And you kind of, they're a little myth that you're there. You know, if you're going to a new dive and they're like, who the fuck's this guy? Sure. They don't want you there. That's what I, that's what I'm saying. They're looking at you. They're you looking at you. This is back to the future, though. I'm trying to have sex with My mom. They want to drink in an empty bar, too. Of course. They don't want some hot shot coming in. Sure.

Is that how you're paying me? But there's a New York City attitude. You were there too. Oh, yeah. Out there with the guy with no shoes on. Did I ever tell you that one time, one of the biggest faux poses me and my brother ever made, we went to an after-hours late-night bar in somewhere in the city. And we had just come from dinner.

And this was like a friend of a friend that told us about this place. And me and him walked in. they're both wearing suits. We looked like FBI. Like proper FBI. A nice speakeasy you got here. It was after hours. Sure.

Was it illegal after hour or no? Yeah, 100%. Illegal after hours. Gotcha. A lot of Irish. Gotcha. A lot of other things. You know what I'm saying?

Sure. Why are you acting like you're in the FBI right now? Dude, what the fuck? Look over. You got a suit on it? I'm trying to get you to say something on tape. Yeah, yeah, what else, Kippie? We're not recording this.

What else do you like, Kippey? Remember I told you about the thing? He said the guy? Yeah, you can really blow it in a dive bar. And a dive bar is extremely unforgiving at bar faux pos. Well, that's also we have a lot of people's submission of like, you know. And I've done every. I have all a lot of them.

A mean hot dive bar bartender will ruin you. But they do, they're so, there's something so damaged. of people that drink at dive bars, that that stern kind of bucksum broad. We're in like a tank top, tattoos. Put you in her place. She's spinning the bottle opener on her hand. Oh, yeah, hon. Enough hairspray to fucking put a hole in the ozine.

Yeah, there's something that every dude's sitting there going, um, it's me. I could get her. I could get her. You can't. You can't and you won't. Um, but, uh, all right. So the play. Black Horse London Pub, San Francisco.

It's about 10 feet by 20 feet, seven stools. That's. It's like Rayos. I got to know. It's one of the five families. Real, who's who? Which, can we get into Rayos? Anybody out there get us into Rayos?

I get us into Rios. You could get us into Rios. Yes. Who you calling? I can't get us. Put me in a spot like that. He caught me lying. I know Luke can't.

No, sir. That's right. No one can get us anywhere. I mean, we're like. That's crazy. Yeah, no, we're not We're well connected If you need like

A auto glass guy, a roofer Like we're well connected As you, I think it was you It's like we're flight We're fight club like we Wash your dishes We do that's what the homies and bozos are doing I actually

I bet you we This is out there now I bet you somebody hits us up With the rails I think we tried this before I think maybe who hears And you know things are going I think we'll be listening

I think there's a lot of Who's who listening to the I had that guy to DMV hit me up. That's pretty powerful. I'm not saying he's not powerful. That guy can't get into radio. He's up in Albany. Doing the Lord's word. You get us

in a joint up there. Get us in a cheesecake factory. You ate a nice table by the window. They get crowded on Thursdays. All right. Black Horse London Pub. The owner Uber's because he has no car to Costco every day. Loads up with beer. Holy shit. There's a bathtub behind the bar, fills it with ice,

the beers in there, it's cash or Zell only. He plays guitar behind the bar. If he likes you, you'll get a shot of Jameson. There's a framed one-star Yelp review on the wall. Best dive around. Look at that. Wow. Dude, that's pretty sick.

That's all right. That's what it... That was a lot like Old Man Hustle down on Lower East Side. That was a good dive, too. The same size. We used to do comedy shows there. Oh, I bombed there. Strippers too, right?

Didn't they have strippers there? No. I don't remember that. I mean, maybe. I don't know. I was thinking to that place in South Philly. The Republican. Yes.

Oh, man. Rough. I remember following a burlest dancer there. God damn. If you don't think I was funny. Before it said, a Gaines wiggling around in front of you. You could never follow a burlese dancer for two reasons. One if she's super hot, one if she's super.

Yeah. Yeah. You're done. That's dead in the water. Dead in the water. Yeah, that's my kind of joint. man that's a good time the only problem with that i would feel is like i don't think you'd like the guitar player if he was decent i would love black horse londonderry it says too what you don't

throw out a throw out a fucking italiano at you i like a black forest ham i like i do my favorite thing about a dive is that it's unwelcoming from the outside sure it's going we're in here we're drowned in some sort like this isn't you know that's something i say with the guitar player not anything against the guitar player. When you're in that kind of vibe, when you're in there, you want the jukebox, you want to hit your tunes. Yeah, you know, yeah, especially that small, you can't really check out of that either.

You got to be like, oh, great. I'm in there to get fucked up and go down some sad memory lane. You know what I mean? I know exactly. And you know what I need for that. Uh-huh. Some 70s hits. Cranking.

Little Eagles. Leagues. A little Don Henley. A little Boston, a little Chicago. Uh-huh. Need them all. All right. Let's see here.

This one's from Blaine. Is it garbage to have a friend whose wake and memorial service was held at a dive bar. There was a bunch of tip jars with my dead friend's face taped to them scattered throughout the bar. That's how I want to go, dude.

Put that in the... I've always said I want a proper... I want to be on the pool table at the bar. I can't. I wouldn't be able to go to that. I couldn't see you like that. Holy. Buddy, I don't want to break...

Brush your bubble. I don't think you're going to see me like that. Fuck! You know, I'm not going to get invited? Yeah, that's what I mean. You might be busy that day. For eternity. He might be busy that eternity.

Yeah, that would be a nice... And then, well, I guess who's the cash code to the family? Greece the family? Yeah. I mean, I think if you're having it there, I don't think there was like a, you know... Oh, I mean, I think there's a proper, like, a state plan. I'm sorry, I thought even if you did it. No.

Oh, I was going to say. No, I don't expect you to tip my family. What do the fuck do you think? Yeah, it's going to pay for the goddamn funeral. Yeah, I like that. Of course. That's all right. That cash is getting turned over real quick.

See what's left over. You got to make it a 50-50. Listen, I love, I mean, we check the legality of that of running a 50-50 at the live shows, which I would love to do. I thought we tried to, and they said no. Yeah, I think there's like, it's like lottery-esque. Did we try to do that at a casino or something like that? No. At a casino.

I thought he did. Got her own operation. What are we working at binions? What are you talking about? We got her own operation back there. That's really good. I really like a nice, shitty. And that's also just how my family mourns.

It is very like, we're going to sit around and have drinks. Even like the, you came to my stepdad's. Did you or did it? No, I was able to go. I was at the church. You're at the church. church you didn't come to a thing it's like even when you're there doing like the meal or like the luncheon everybody's just going just closed circles like to clean this out it's saddle up at a bar and

fucking shoot them back shoot them back no conversation really yeah unless you know no having the conversation you know what I mean yeah giving the yeah well you know this and that like we're dumb it on let's get to the nitty gritty yeah yeah let's get all the glade hand and get out of here But yeah, I would have to assume that money's going straight to the family. What happened? Paying that tab. Yeah. The tab's probably, get me a couple days later.

I know you're good for it. You would hope. You would hope. You would hope. Hey, get it to me when you got it. And he was in here every night. If you got, whatever, we'll call you something like that. Take care of the guys.

I can see the owner bartending. You know, he came in to do it. Yeah, I like that. Good shit. That's how you want to go, huh? We're surrounded by my loved ones and community. Gotcha. Doing, you know, watching everybody do what I loved most.

We got cheese steak egg rolls all over your body. Like a sushi. A bunch of ketchup in my asshole. Kids, grab a bite off Kippy. Don't be scared. Oh, my God. I'm all, dude. I'm even, I look at you.

I'm all pale and shit. Now, give me a spray tan if you fucking, if you put me out. Okay, I got you. If I get at least, you know what I mean? Do the hair, do something. Yeah. You got to get a spray tan. They don't do that enough.

Why don't they do that? I don't know. They put the maid. They cake the makeup on it. They don't want to spray tan. It would be sick if you die without a tan and then you're in there chilling with shades on. All tanned up. Maybe a little fucking zinc on the nose.

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And this would be an honor. This is from John. My local bar has a memorial plaque on one of the stools. It was the regular's everyday seat. He died after he got drunk and fell off his roof. Jesus. Tough way to go out, but great way to remember a guy. Sure.

Yeah. They don't do. I feel like I would love to see that more. Even for a more common, more common, maybe not like the everyday guy, but. Yeah, we had those at Martels when you could get like a plaque in front of the ball. You could like sponsor. a seat. Does that make sense? Yeah. Then did you have

kind of... There's regulars up there? No, but like if you sponsor the seat that you come in, that's your seat? Kind of, yeah. You can't bounce a guy. If a guy's sitting there, though. No, you didn't bounce anybody. No, it was more like yeah, it was more like just having your name on the bar. Does that make sense?

Gotcha. And little gold lettering. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Kind of like I always... You do the bench. Yeah, so I'm saying. A bench at the boardwalk. It's like in honor of Joe and pop-op or whatever. My family has one of those, my cousins for their mom and dad on Seattle's boardwalk. Very nice. Yeah. That's prime real estate.

The house is right there, too. Well, are they horse thieves or something? Did well. Where the other side? My mom goes down her all the time, shacks up. Yeah. They're at dinner for a week. Give her dinner for a week.

Keep on a short lease, I'm sure. Yeah, they take care of her, you know? Patty goes down. I'm just going to stay. It was that one year I got to Shorehouse for a week. Yeah. I kind of remember that. Yeah.

You going down at all this summer? I don't think so. Okay. You know where to find me this summer. Just checking, dog. All right, let's see. This one's from Delaware cousin, $10, homie. In the Denver area, there was a...

The bar we call the sewer because it always smells like shit. I hate that. But the PBRs are cheap. That's a true mark of a dirt bag. I know. Couldn't do it. You get used to it. You do get used to it.

We've dranking plenty of bars that you smelled the plumbing. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Smelling the plumbing and tasting the taps are bad for me. I can't. I've done it too, too much for too long that I, the taps, if I'm a bottle and I'd take anything out of a bottle and can at this point over a draft. However, there is the thing sometimes where you get a bottle and you taste the lid.

That's where we were. Was that in Poughkeepsie? Poughkeepsie. No, the Frollic Room. Oh, yeah? They were giving me, I was drinking Bud Heavies and I guess they weren't, they were like rusted. Sometimes those caps are like, if they're underwater or so, it do. I didn't notice that those were screamers.

The cap was run and you're just like, you taste in, it was somewhere. I was like, I can't. I don't know what was there. We were pretty happy with those beers. Drinking Nichols. Yeah, I think at one point I did switch over, though. Hmm. But yeah, that happens sometimes.

You get an old bottle that's been sitting there since, like, the fucking Clinton administration. Yeah. So it happens when the ice turns to water, start floating. Oh. Just think about how many times that happens at a fucking bad bar. Especially if you go, like, a little obscure. Dude, the shit from last night.

In the morning, you get the shit from last night? Bad news. Oh, tough. They have PBR bottles with playing card icons like the Ace of Spade and the Jack of Clubs under the cap. Whoa. Do PBR bottles suck? I didn't know that. They taste like the fucking, they taste more like the bottle.

Really? And lid than anything I've never seen that. Yeah, they're not great. I want to say they have them at a great dive bar. The Sly Fox, I want to say they have them. Which is that Ukrainian. It's right next. You know where that little Ukraine is on Second Avenue?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Man, you go in there. I've eaten it a little Ukraine. Pretty good. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But this is like their, it's like $2. It's something crazy. You go in late night.

They give you clear solo plastic cup, plastic solo cups. That's how you know a beer's not going to stay cold when it's handed you in a clear plastic cup. You want that in a coffee cup or a thermos? And the bathroom isn't in. the bar. I hate that. You have to go into like this back annex that connects to the whole building, then go down that. You go down a hall, it's like an office building.

I hate an annex. It's not good. Never an annex. Never. But PBR bottles with playing card icons like the Ace of Spades and Jack of Clubs under the cap. If you guess the right card, you get the beer for free. Whoa. That's what we're talking about. That keeps you

there. How you make money? What? The thing is, the thing is, if you stick around and drink enough of them, it'll give you a few clues to you eventually get the freebie. That's pretty good. That's all right. They'll be like, hey, they know what they're giving you, I guess. Also, one time we saw a couple of their mid-50s,

making out of the bar drunk at 430 on a Thursday night. That's nice. That's love right there. Buddy. That's love. It's like two cockroaches going at it. Sure. That's all right.

Yeah. I'd love them. I want to say the Cope about. Banana out there on like 40th in Walnut or something like that. I don't know if it's still around. There was a couple of copas in Philly. Remember that? Yeah.

There was the Copa Cabana. I thought you were talking about the Coppa Cabana, the song you were seeing it. No, no. This was called the Copa banana. Okay. The Copa Ben, what do you got, Luke? 4,000 spruce tree? That's, yeah, it would be 40,000?

Yeah, that would be 40th in spruce. All right. 4,000. I think, right? Yeah, it'd be 40th and spruce. Because 400 would be 4th in spruce. Yeah, this one's Copeland University City. Yes.

Right. And they would do dollar lion's heads. And the lion's heads had the mammograms? No. Pictograms. They had the puzzles. It'd be like a picture of a pyramid and an eyeball and a one of a cap? On the cap?

I don't remember that. And you would open it. I think there was a thing if you guessed that you got something. I shot you got something. I remember that. You know where lion's heads brute. Wilkesbury Pennsylvania. Wilkes bear.

Yeah. Right. Are they still banging? Lions Head? I thought they were owned by Stegmire, Yingling or something like that. Stigmire? Stegmire. Have you ever heard of Stegmire beer?

It's old beer in Wilkesbury. What the fuck? I'll bear Wilburr, Stigmarer. Still banging. Still banging, lion's head. Yeah, Willsbair. Wilk-Ber. Well, there you go.

Take that, Luke. A college favorite beer. Is it? Yeah. Very budget-friendly. It was nine bucks for a 24-pirt. Cairns. Bottles.

What? They were only doing bottles. They weren't doing cans back there's right. It's a bottling facility. Now it's 1579. There you go. That's not that big because that was fucking 20, almost 20 years ago. 18 years ago.

Brewed and bottled in Wilkesbury, Pennsylvania? Out of it. They outsources the India or something? Yeah. What? I mean the brewery's at in Wilkespaire, so I assume they're doing it all in house. Sick. They don't have money to be shipping that around.

That's a fucking good operation It's all right It's no garage beers But it'll do Shout up to garage beers Shout out to them Which I want to get my hands on some of them They sent a I just saw they released some of the bottles

But like a big like Ooh really? Like a court bottle No shit Imagine like a big red stripe bottle Yeah You know what I mean My dad was big on the courts

The court He would bring Yeah every once in a while He wouldn't drink that much of the house But he would bring home Like two random courts Like a core's light like a court of, I don't know.

They stopped doing it when I was like, we didn't see them really. Really? Yeah, no. I mean, I'm not saying they stopped completely. They just, it became the smaller bottle. Because I remember my dad would always be like, yeah, you, I'd be like 10 or 12 or whatever. Somebody would be like, yeah, you and your friend go get a couple quarts of beer? I'm like, what the fuck?

A quart of beer? What do you talk about old man? I'm talking. We do canes. We do punders and we do a double deuce. I think they started. They became too. menacing.

You're looking at you, like, yeah, that's going to be bad news at some point tonight. Sure. But they still did 40s. Sure. Hey. Is what it is. I haven't done a 40 in a minute. Maybe I'll start doing 40s again.

Imagine me walking out on stage with a 40. I put it on the stool, chugging that thing. That's all right. Yeah. A 40 is saying I'd will do the trick. I can tell you that. Yeah. Put you to sleep.

Yeah, we used to do hurricanes at the corner store in North Philly at Temple were $2.50. So we'd $5.5.25 and we'd each do one, maybe two, if you were like, and then that was the pregame. Damn. You go out. You're already fucking. Out with two hurricanes? I mean, that's a category five right there. Look out.

I call Luke Combs. Did you ever do the sidewalk slamer? About to do one to you. This is new age. stupid questions. You know me a long time. You ever think I walk around? I'll D.T.

sidewalk slammers? It's a custom thing. And a kamikaze shot? No. What is it? O.G. For loco. Half, you drink half the 40,

and then you pour half the four loco in there. We were too old for that shit. God, I want to beat you up so bad right now. You don't like cool stuff, man. It's kind of true. Is that the 240s tape to your hands?

That's that word 40 hands. Walking around Penn State like a goddamn asshole. That's a goddamn stable. You got to try it at least one. Every alcohol. all like early in his career needs to try it specifically college me and my boy got locked in his dorm room it was the i told you it was the door knob not like a and we couldn't but we both taped ourselves up how did you both get them on each other he did it i don't remember maybe someone

else did it and then he taped you first and then did himself i guess or maybe his his his roommate did it but then his roommate bounced i think that his his his roommate is his roommate sitting there and get fucked up? Yeah, his roommate, No, nof, he's dead. No, nof's, I think so a lot. No, my boy, he died. The guy? Yeah.

Whoa. Of? I mean, category five. I'm with you. I mean, you know, protect the innocent. Guys, they only go a couple of ways around this, huh? Yeah, it's usually south. I was, I bumped into a friend of, you know, who I, who has known in a while.

I haven't talked to in a while. And she was like, oh, how's like, you know, all your friends. I know her at college. She was like, oh, how all your friends have so and so and so. And so. And I'm like, a couple of fucking swings and misses. I mean, everybody's doing all right. But there's also like, there's everybody's doing okay.

And then there's also like below the curve. Wait, really? With your squad now? Is it the squad I know? Yeah, but still not. I mean. Huh. I wouldn't know the guys that aren't doing great.

Yeah, you didn't meet the guys that are no longer. with us are not doing great or maybe you have it i don't know maybe i'm out with that maybe you've been banging running with the wrong crowd i don't know i'm out with them that's funny um yeah yeah there's yeah it's but it made me realize it i'm just glad there wasn't a house fully doing uh there was there was yeah fuck let's lay off of those for a little while okay i mean what i'm not telling you know whatever say you haven't seen me i don't know he shows up and That's the one everybody Start saying

All right this is a great name This is from deep fried foley What a name Love that Dude fried folly That's a deep fried hot dog With onions mustard and chili sauce Snap on

Just make that out Yeah right there That's a deep fried folly There's a place out in Jersey It does deep fried dogs You know what We've kind of had this idea We should do

Hot dogs A pop-up We'll do Tooties dogs one weekend And we can rent a space, put a hot dog cart in there or whatever. We did talk about doing that. And we should just do it. You have to get a food handler's license? We'll use gloves.

I don't be able to be comfortable eating the food. Yeah. So I'm going to make the chili sauce. All right, we're out. What? I told you I was doing that from Jump Street. Chili sauce. Now with more fingernails.

No. And the band-dard. See, you don't start saying it. You get his bad press. You get us closed down. Any press is good press. What are you talking about? I'll make it.

My dad's recipe. Mm-hmm. I'll do a deep fried Foley. Okay. You have a deep fryer? I don't think so. I'll have to check in the back, but I'm not sure. Now, where's the store room at?

All right, deep fried folly. What a name. This name for a home run. No, for a die bar. Snapper McGee's. Whoa. See if you can pull up Snapper McGee's in Kingston. I would assume that would be Kingston, New York.

I don't know. Kingston, PA? I think there's probably a lot. lot of Kingston. Came up quick. Snapper McGee's. New York or PA? New York.

Yeah, Kingston, New York. Do live music. Snapper McGee's, Kingston, New York. Good booze is there. Is there, damn. That's all right. Yeah. You want low outside light.

Decent neon signs. Mm-hmm. Stickiness of the floor. Sure. You want some of that stuff. You want bad outside lighting, but when you walk in, you want to see, you want it to pop. Yeah.

You also want, if you're going during the day, my favorite, my favorite about eight seconds is adjusting from the really bright outside to the really dark inside. Yeah, you might get hit with a two by phone. You find out who's eyeballing you. The experience I think about that is when we got fucked up at the Pirates Bar in L.A. Yeah. I mean, there was no natural light in that place. And that was, that was so hot outside. We were so, like, looking forward to doing that.

It was the first time we did it, walked into that freezing cold, dark stuff. I'm the guy was a fan. Guys like, holy shit, what the head? We were the only two people in the bar. It was a pirate theme bar. The only two people in there. We got fucking shalacked. Fucked up.

Yeah. What are you guys doing? You're just getting drunk early? Yeah. I mean, more pirate. You guys got big meetings out here, huh? Uh-huh. More pirate fries, please.

Yeah. Just proper fucked up. Mm-hmm. Damn, that was fun. Snap and McGee's in Kingston does a Thanksgiving shot on Thanksgiving day. shot a wild turkey mixed with cranberry juice and gravy from a jar. It's actually pretty good. I think I might be with that.

You had me for a second. I don't know. I mean, you don't think gravy's a good. I mean, essentially it's a chaser. I guess it probably does. It's a gravy back. Look at it that way. So it takes, it's got to take the edge all.

You know why I think it would work or why I'm sure it works is, as odd as it is, the cranberry and gravy is will be familiar to you as it goes down. Of course. Wow. That's pretty good. That's not bad. Yeah. Huh.

Huh. I wouldn't mind trying one of those. I need a good dive to make my own. I got shade, which is not a dive, but it's right. It's a quiet enough. I think in New York you're in trouble. Yeah, New York's. New York has great dives, but it's, they're tough.

There's none by me. They're cool now. Yeah, they're just, it's cool. It's cool for, that sort of, that's what, that's what, happened, it's cool for young kids to like, young rich kids to like slum it. Remember we Niagara, they used to, I love you buddy. They used to

consider Niagara a dive. Like the rich kids would be like, yeah, it was. Niagara wasn't a dive bar. What? Niagara was a bar. You think so? Yeah, Niagara wasn't a dive. Huh. The walls of Niagara are worth like $400,000.

That's by accident. Some guy came in and got fucked up and drew on him. It doesn't matter. He's a famous artist. dieball. No, Saturday night there would be, Saturday night there was a bouncer, a line,

and fucking, like dudes and like p coats and button ups there. Like that's what it mainly turned into. I guess you're right. You know what I mean? It got,

they just got, it became cool for guys like Luke. I, Luke's getting trashed in this one. But it became, it became cool for the... Take a lot of eat for no reason. I won't in 2022.

That was exactly the vibe there. Yeah, and that's him going like, oh, we're going to Niagara. It's real, it's not pretension. We're going to pop in at beers. Meanwhile me and you were like, this is the nicest place I ever been. Try to steal the wall. They cover me.

Yeah, that was. Okay. They had a DJ when we went there. Yeah, there's no DJ at the I bars. Better not be. I'm walking. Bad karaoke. Can we got talking about Blue Chew.

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for free shipping on your order. and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada as well. That's Quince, Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash garbage for free ship and 365 day returns. Quince.com slash garbage down. Note. Let me see this. Is the number one tavern at Dive Bar?

In Wildwood? No. In... Cambridge. Yeah, in Wild... Shout to the number one. Yes, I would say for... If that was anywhere else, yeah.

But it's like... It's also a little kitchy because it's down the shore. If that was anywhere else. I mean, yeah. But there's not that many. There is a good amount of bars in Wildwood, obviously, but it's like, it is limited. I got you. So you're like, they can kind of just stay.

It's kitsy if it was anywhere else. I mean. Anywhere else would be closed. Good point. Kid to me? Shout to the number one. Shout out to the number one. I mean, they got all the marks.

They have their own special drink. No, with dirtbag lore, no one knows the ingredients. The owner, who I think recently passed, would show up every day. and make it in vats by himself. Mark Tully. Shout out Mark Tully. And then there's a golden tea. Sure.

Screaming cold air conditioning. Screaming. The back is crazy. Bad bathroom. Bad bathrooms. Bad, bad barstool. Bad cushion bar stools around the tables in the back. Yes.

Brutal. Brutal. The staff's got a bit of a toad to them. Love it. In a lovely, endearing. Tables get covered in the, in the, in the, the tully nuts sauce. And the tully nuts sauce.

Cash only. Cash on the table. Wet cash on the table. Wet cash on the table. That's a dive. I love it. But it is, I don't want to paint that a dive because it is kitchy and fun. It's still, it's got a lot of heart to it.

It's not a dark dive. It's a fun. No one's really in there running from their, you know. There's not just like some old time. It's groups of people having fun. It's not you, though. You like a dark dive, don't you? I like a dark.

Like a dark dive in the middle of the day. Uh-huh. I like a... A frolic room. Put on a little... The international bar. Put on a little seager and think about where it all went rolling. Sure. This is for...

So this is from Stephen. I actually made a list of one night while attending our local dive bar of what makes a good dive. Mm-hmm. Cold, cold air. He has a cold, cold, cold air conditioning. Ice cold beer. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Dark atmosphere. Oh. This is... You want to... to see the glow from outside when the doors open oh shit fuck it's only two o'clock out there you're winking oh man that sun comes in good characters at the bar you know uh crowd crowd the crowd don't only want to be the ones they i don't know what the fuck that means uh this guy's i think this guy's at the corner of the bar right now smoking good jukebox

Bar food Sure A lot of good dives don't offer food though A lot of my favorite dives are kitchenless There's usually one maybe two people Work in there total It's some some you know Some broad that'll throat chop you

If she needs to She's behind the bar by herself You know New York sometimes There'll be a bouncer out front Just because it's fucking To keep some vagrants out or whatever you know Try a boiled hot dog I'm not proud the burps from the hot dogs.

I mean, I crush hot dogs. I crush it these. Bad. Pool table or darts. Okay. Off the beaten path so it can't be easily found. Okay. Safe.

I.e. not known for gangs or murders. What the fuck? Unless you know the gang. That's really funny. What the fuck? But that's true. You want it. Like we say.

Like I said, you wanted a little edgy. Scary. That's scary. But, like, you don't want gangs or like, you know. But you want, like, ah, man, there are, you know, there's a tension in here a little bit. Yeah. A couple of off characters. Yeah.

They're not stoked down here. That's Jimmy. Don't sit in Jimmy's seat. Don't, you know, that kind of thing. I like that. I had that at that. There's an Irish bar on the corner of Crescent and something else in Queens. And I had that one night where, like, I could tell they didn't want to sit there.

Mm-hmm. And they were cool. Bartender was cool, but a couple guys went out to have a cigarette, and, like, they stopped and talked to us for a second. Just yes. I didn't like it. Yeah. I didn't like it at all.

Hey, man, big fan. Love the show. No. No, of course. Of course. And then they muttered something under their breath as they stepped outside. And I was with my wife at the time, and she's like fucking, like, thought it was great. And I was like, finished that.

We're getting the fuck out of it. Didn't get it at all. Well, that, you don't, I also don't think. Finish a drink, you dump, bro. They're going to kill us. Quick, grab the money on the table and run. I don't think, you know, most women in my life also aren't hanging out. They're spending a lot as much time as I have at a dive ball.

To know, to read the signs on the wall of this is not going. This is not, you know, the tides have turned a little bit. A lot of that you can tell in the ordering. I'll do the... Oh. What the fuck up. Stick and the move. Which I do have to give to our crew.

I'm sorry, show of a beer. Yeah, when we all walk in somewhere and we all know, you know, take that place in San Francisco. Real dive that we went to. I would love to see if you can find the name of that. It was across from Cobbs down probably two blocks across the street. It's a place that was all dusted up in? Yeah, towards the water. I mean, you're dusted up in a couple of places.

No, I was really high. Stoned. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, there was a couple of places that was the case. There was an Italian joint. It's like an Italian cafe. All right.

It's not real. I mean, I'm saying we were at a multiple place in that night is what I'm saying. It's tough to pinpoint when you got really stoned. You got so serious. That was like off the ear boys. What? Yeah, you guys.

I like that. But we walked in and everybody read the room. Yeah. I think it was me, you, Colin, Luke. Sure. That's probably it, maybe. And I guess Tommy instead of me. I didn't roll with you guys there.

Oh. But you go, I'll turn around Because I'll, I tend to lead the charge on that one I'm first man named Scopens You know what I mean? I got to protect my guys You're outside fucking

You're as high as Mars right now I was trying to figure out the situation I was trying to solve the situation between the guy And the guy in the car That's the problem Work that out So is she, I'm inside You're yelling at me to come inside

Yeah shit goes down I got me for I'm solving cases out in San Fran I'm bringing people together Uh huh You're like Ruffalo and fucking What was his name? What?

I was it Ruffalo. What's the... Zodiet? Yeah. Yeah. He was all right in that. That's about it. Okay.

Like the old Ruffalo. But you go, what do? I'll go, I'll turn around and go, what are you guys getting? And the crew usually goes, whatever. Like, we can tell this isn't, what do you have on tap? Do you have any prosceco? It's a fucking, I'm getting three, four cans or whatever. I'm usually pretty good about asking for the,

for not asking about something they don't have. I make eye contact with something that they do have, and I say that. I never just order something, especially in places like that. We don't have Cors Light. We don't have this. I'll literally, if I don't,

a lot of, most shitty bars will have the run of dusty cans and bottles up on the shelf somewhere. So you can go, like, you know, whatever. And if they don't have that, I'll go, what do you have in a can?

And they'll go, blah, Whatever the first one I'll like is, I stop them there. I'll give you that you are very good in those situations. I never really seen anything. You're flawless, I would say, in dive bar situations. I was bored of the doctors. But I'm going to trash you.

No, we're talking about this, what we like, all that kind of stuff, how to operate in them. I want truth to be known for the bozos and the homies out there. I have had my fair share of fuck-ups in dive bars. Oh, pause. that unfortunately lasts the evening and tend to get worse. Once a bartender in those places doesn't like you. You might as well move. You will continue to make a fool of yourself throughout the evening.

You remember the dive bar we were in in like Nashville or something like that where I was ordering the doubles and he's like. Oh, I was a real honky tonk bar we were at. Yes, but I kept saying. Rick's or rage. Yeah, I wanted a margarita, but I didn't want a lot of margarita. mix. You get too specific in those places. He's like, do you want to double?

I'm like, no, you don't have to double the alcohol, just lessen the thing. But he didn't get that. He said, you want to pay for a double, pay for a double. Which you say that to me, I freak out. And this is, I think, everybody in the team, the whole beef with you and ordering it, it's a lot of words. It's too many words. Too much to say.

It's too much. Having a little bit of this, extra of that. You can't just go, I'll do a double margarita. Because at a lot of dive bars, it's what you're getting. It's not what you want. Mm-hmm. It's, yeah, they're not mixologists. No.

The guy's fucking, you know. I got some orange juice back here. But that's the issue. You throw in some music to that and there's a, you know. What? Your city slicking vibes, too. I know. You're in there where your hair slick back, picking business calls.

I sometimes walk in with a bad vibe and I don't even realize it. Mm-hmm. Usually I'm pretty good. Yeah. What do you got? Do you find the joint? I think I got like three options. Oh my God.

Sweeties, international sports bar. It might have been international sports bar. Let me see if I can. Dollar bills hanging from the ceiling? No. Oh, you aren't there so you don't know. I apologize. I said I sent a boy to do a man's job.

Hey, you Dan. Hey, you friggin' Dan. Tell you the hot vegan place out there. I'll tell you, please, to get a Cupertino or whatever the fuck it is. What's a Cupertino? Puppuccino. Puppuccino, what, for the dogs?

Yeah. Oh, I'd love that. Well, no, Cupertino. What do you like? Or no, Cupertino's where... Espresso martini? What's the fucking seafood soup you get? Oh, Chapino.

Chepino. All right, I'm not that far off. Hey. Way off. I was thinking Italian coffee drinks, not Italian mixed seafood dishes with the red sauce. Very good.

Me and these had one out there at San Fran. Yeah, the international sports bar, which I don't think there was a TV on in the joint. If I'm being a hundred. That's for tax purposes. If I'm being a hundred P, great dive bar though. Yeah, two pool tables,

tight little corner spot on the angle on one of those angle streets. You enter from like the snub note, like the flat iron side of it. Great, great bar to walk outside and have a heater. Oh, all glass windows the whole way around. See them coming. You got two in here.

See, coming at you. I mean, it was dollar bills hanging from the ceiling of this no frills game day spot with full bar and pool tables. No delivery. No takeout. That's all right. We were looking over our shoulder in there a little bit. Oh, yeah. I mean, that was the last place I really walked in where I felt, ooh.

There was a lot of eyes when I went. We did walk in a kerfuffle of a time, too. Is that one of the last bars we walked into together in that zone and getting fucked up? Yeah, because that was the last L.A. trip. That ended in the L.A. trip. L.A. we need it. Wait, was that? Yes.

That was the beginning of the L.A. trip. Fuck. Whoa. Man. I'm talking about Fourshaft. Beginning of the end. Or the beginning? This review is toilets available for customers only.

Okay. Yikes. That's them? No, that's from the review. That's awesome. Don't go in there and try to take a dump, though. I'll yell at you. That's my kind of place.

Speaking of, I would also argue dive bars, like you said, it's like you get on the bad track, it's tough to get out with the bartenders or staff or whatever. You're fucked. Which as I was reading these submissions, it made me think it's got to be really the only kind of establishment this day and age that still has like a band. you still, it's easy to get banned from a dive bar because it's such a tight-knit community. Well, you're putting in the penalty box for a couple of months. You can't do that at the, like, you know, like the Smith

or like some place that has, you know, a management structure. What? You can't get banned from a place. That's what I'm saying. Like you go to the Smith and they're like, yeah, no, the customer's always right. That's how you get sued. Yeah, bartender loses job. He goes, this guy's giving me, you know what I mean.

He serves some guy, the guy gets fucked up. Guy does something. Yeah, they fire the bartender. at the fucking dive bar Don't ever let me see in here again Two months Take your time, two months Fuck

I've seen that before Have you ever seen anybody get banned from a place From like a limited time? I don't think so Well it tells it what happened all the time That makes that's an old school joint Yeah take three months off Take two months off

Clear your head a little bit Yeah And they come back Go get some help They come back fresh Yeah good shave on them Good shave on them Nice tan

This guy Don did that and do that for a while. He came back fresh. Chris. Came back in the summer. He's like, you know what I do? I take hot showers in the summer. Then you get out, it's cool.

Two months later, he was fucking. Fucking in the rafters. Set him back down to spring training. Tommy John's surgery. Put him back into minors for a minute. His wife would always call the bar. Is Don there? Now I haven't seen him.

I know he's there. And we would lie. And then she would, he lived like around the corner. So she would show up every once in a while. Screaming at him. It's crazy. And he was like an older, good-looking dude. Sharp, always had a tan, did well.

And he'd be like the man. And then, man, when she walked in, it would be just shrivel. Well, that was for a very long time. My stepdad's drinking spot was like right. It was on like a main road. So his car, you could always. always, you know, this is like pre-calling and not, but he also, well, he wasn't a huge, you know. Responder.

Yeah. Oh, really? I respect that. I mean, like, you couldn't text them. I mean, you could, especially later on, you could, but, like, growing up, he wasn't, like, an early adopter of being on the text message. Like, yeah, I'm here, just checking in. Like, I mean, he goes radio silent.

Uh, no, not. No, you know who loves radio silent. Bugman. Yeah. I'm well aware. Off the air. You just get that static. Flatlining.

I got nothing. I'm waiting for a beep, a sweep, something. You see the bug sign in the sky? Well, a lot of times it would be reported based on seeing his car at the local watering hole. You know what I mean? They'd be like, oh, where's Joe? Well, I saw it. I was coming home from work and I saw this car.

He could have been into dry clean. He's dusting off a little bit. Yeah. I was, I'm going to go down the road and dust off a bit. Go down the road a piece and dust off a bit. Which I respect. Yeah, I respect it too. Mm-hmm.

This one's just funny. This is from Wolftail McGee. Had to help carry a large girl from the bathroom floor to the back of a cab. Buddy had to pull her in from the other side. It was like we were loading furniture. Bartender paid us in Crown Apple Shots. Respect that. Oh, man.

that poor girl. Sure, but you're also you're doing that small community of service right? Like the bartender, probably one person, like again, there's not like a management chain, there's not a front of house, back a house, it's one or two people working a dive bar and they're going, I can't

it could be a woman going, I can't load this larger girl in here and they the dive bar unites and goes, we'll help this she's, we'll help this citizen of the bar out and get her into a cab. They probably paid for the cab or, you know, something, took care of it.

They were reimbursed for their community service. I think it's a great system. Sure. Right? That's like on a plane. Who's able to do the... Yeah. Are you able to sit in the exit row? Like we were loading furniture. That's such a real thought.

Go out to get her ankles. You got to hook it. Shit, poor lady. Man. Uh-huh. Getting pulled through the other side. Ooh, that's tough. That ain't great.

This one's from Dr. John Becker. Shout out to you, Doc. Whatever. Local dive bar has an active train about 30 feet behind the exit where everyone smokes slash additional parking. Solid drunk ride tried to leave and get stuck on the tracks. You don't even have to cross the tracks to leave, but this guy gets caught up on the tracks. Train was coming.

How do you get caught up on the tracks? I thought that was something that happened in silent movies. Yeah, I don't know. What do you get your foot caught? I know, the car. He couldn't get his car over. Why does that always happen? That's crazy.

I think it's, yeah, I don't know. That's something in the universe. There's no way at that specific time your car stalls or you can't get over. That happens way too much. I think it's probably, listen, these aren't fucking, you know, land rovers and stuff getting stuck. These are shitty small cars where, like, I think the rear front wheel drive, it doesn't, You know, it's like a neon trying to, and it's like the chassis gets called on a rock, something. I don't think he's actually, he's probably not crossing it at a proper fucking.

Do you think the train operator in the back of their head kind of likes that when one gets caught on there? But it's a car, not like a tractor trailer that's kind of like get derailed. You got to think, dude, this is nighttime. The driver don't know. The fucking train conductor don't know that. You don't think? That there's no one in the car. Oh, that's where.

So they're not enjoying it. Yeah, he's not going sick. Gary, get up here. He's going, I'm about to ruin a lot of people's lives. This is about, this is about to be the worst day of my life. Oh, fuck. Yeah. I guess if you didn't know.

Because that'd be fun. Yeah, and you're just like fucking grave digger in it. Yeah, that would probably be a good time. That'd be fun. I thought I would have to worry about the derailing, though. I don't know. We don't do enough fun stuff with trains like that. Why don't they have, like, train, like smash up derbies or something like that?

I think it's very dangerous. Think? Yeah, I would assume someone would have monetized it if it was. I'm saying just the engine. You don't have to. the cars behind it, but like, why don't we do more fun stuff with train engines? I think I found a new hobby for you. I haven't slam into each other or something like that.

In a controlled environment. Like monster truck shows. Aren't they have, like, you know. Yeah, but they're kind of static. You put track in, idiot. Yeah. Do you have anything for this? No, I mean, I can't imagine you can pick up steam that quick in like a monster truck arena.

Yeah, open up the doors of the arena and you start out like that. How sick would that be? I'm with it. Right? I'm out. For that reason, I'm out. All right, but hold on. Local dive bar has an active train about 30 feet behind the exit where people,

everyone smokes slash there's additional parking. Saul, a drunk guy tried to leave and get stuck on the tracks. You don't have to cross the tracks to leave. Train was coming, so he ripped off his license plate and ran. Everyone ran outside of the bar to watch the train obliterate this car. The whole place erupted and cheated. years. It was awesome. That's what I'm talking about. Yeah.

That's what I'm talking about. Listen. Yeah. That's a good time. Now you see it. Sure. Sure. But that is a once in a lifetime moment. Yeah, that's like. You can't be selling tickets to that. Hey, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday. Wow. Dude, to be at that bar, the calls the next morning.

Gary got his car stock. The vibe in there when they walked back inside. I was right there. I seen everybody's telling their version. It's like the fucking Kennedy assassination. That's awesome. That's fucking sick. There was a long time in our early 20s where we really like getting fucked up and, you know, seeing stuff, getting fucked up for that kind of shit was a good time.

Like a big event that not everybody, you know, I don't know, just like, I remember one time we were looking for, we were looking at implosions of buildings. I think they were blowing up something in Jersey and me and. Pat were like, we got to get to that. That's so true. But it was too early. You'd have to, you know what I mean? I know. They do that in business hours.

Yeah. I think they do that. And I didn't hold normal office hours at the time. I think they tend to do that because they don't want people to do exactly what you're talking about. Sure. They don't blow buildings at 430 so you can be out there fucking pre-gaming, which they should. They should. They get your money.

In Vegas, they do. Vegas, that's a thing in Vegas. That's a thing in Vegas. Why? It's just so cutthroat and. Vicious, but also at the same time. Like, when you're the owner of that casino and they blow it up on you? I don't think you're the owner anymore.

Obviously. That's always too, like, just that ambition, I come from such a small, like, blue collar-type world. We're like, to have the ambition of like, I'm going to buy that casino, then blow it the fuck up. And rebuild it? Then rebuild it. I guess I look at it from, like, Everybody in my family's in the trades. What would you do?

Reamp it? They're just... I can't do that. I would just go... I'm not in the market for a casino. But I think... You would keep that... You would just change a name and keep it the same?

I think so, because... I do some different specials. Everybody. Change the menu. Everybody I know complains about the size of a job. And I just go, that's you. One, you gotta blow it up. Two, you gotta fucking...

You gotta have to grade out that land. That's like... How many guys? How many bids that? It's just like such a big undertaking where I go, I don't have... the time. I ain't got nothing. Throw a coat of paint. Yeah, throw a coat of paint.

Get to, you know, change the waiters uniforms. Yes. Something. Something. I don't have the, we're going to burn it down and rebuild. Nobody would go to that casino. Well, that's why I'm not in the casino biz guy. That's awesome. Nobody takes it step by step out there. They go all in. All right. This one's from the, what a name.

Northeast Ohio. It's in Northeast Ohio called Y-Drive by. The owner's name was Dale, rest in peace. He lived upstairs. He lived off Arizona green tea mixed with black velvet whiskey. God damn, that's an old timer. If you asked nicely, he'd turn on the Christmas lights and run the electric choo-choo train around the ceiling. Oh, I love that. Had a wooden bowling machine and a seasonal bowling league.

My brother set the place on fire and got free drinks for the night when he scored a perfect 300 game. Went down in the history of the place. How you'd done? Had a dusty jukebox decked out with all of our favorite. Motown hits. A hand dryer in the woman's bathroom shot out blue sparks when you pushed the button. It had a functioning telephone booth in the wall, in the wall space between the men's and women's bathroom.

Got bought out and modernized a few years ago. What a time capsule. Whoa. That's the problem. That was well said. Yeah. That was well said. Very well said.

That's, um... What I was thinking about the whole time you were reading that is none of that stuff happened immediately. That kind of stuff. That. bar at its pinnacle of dive barness, that took time. Yeah. It takes time.

It takes decades. I doubt the hairdriar was shooting out sparks a second that they opened. No. And then it wasn't every time. It was like every 10th time. And they're like, ah, whatever. We got bigger. Probably get there.

And then it was every time. And it was just like, hey, where's the bathroom? To the left, don't use the dryer. You know what I mean? That kind of thing. Yeah, it takes time. Or something about it. And that smell of like those all, like, not even bad or good.

It's just, you know, like, this was, this was when you could still smoke in here to not smoking in here. Like, you know, it's like stained in the wood and the, the stickiness of the floor. It's like, yeah. The smoke smell that wasn't smoking to non-smoking is something unique on its own. I love a fucking dive bar. Which, unfortunately, New York, they're getting harder and harder to maintain because the rain. God damn real estate.

So that's why like that Niagara Bar is like that. That's going to be the new, like a restaurant group owns that. I know. That's going to be the new. They own the place next door. Yeah, dive. I don't know. It's like market.

When it was like a, I don't know, it was like butcher or something. Yeah, something cool. I'm sure they're doing great. It's probably a great establishment. And I do like that. That's a good, just knock around bar. But that's, you know, that's not a fucking. That ain't no dive bar.

Which are the fewer and far between. There's a great one. This is another place. Luke, see if you can find this. It's called the Liffie 2. All the way up in Olds. It's a holdover in the in-wood. Real Irish joint.

You go in and it's got like furniture you would have in your basement. You know what I mean? Like it. It was just someone's couch. Like that. And that was the time me and my boy went in. The Liffie 2. On Broadway, right?

Yeah. Nice. See if you can find some of the images, they have like the inside. It's just like that's kind of, that looks like even a little more redone. It was like it had like a couch that like somebody was getting rid of and they were like drop it in there. And it was just like still smoke stained in a good way. And that was the last place we walked in. And it's it's a Irish pub in a.

predominantly Dominican neighborhood at this point still with some holdover Irish people and stuff like that. They work together. Yeah, and you walk in and you're like, they all look at you and they're like, we don't fight, we went in on like a Wednesday night. We don't trust each other. We ain't trusting you. Yeah, oh, fuck these guys. And it was me

and my friend who's Dominican walked in. So we do, we looked like undercover coffee. They're just sent one of each of us into infantry. A pack of cigarettes, please. And they walked in and just sniffed it. We had like two beers. wasn't super well it's just, you know, we weren't there for all night

anyway, but we were just like, you got that vibe in a good way of like, who better we're gonna smoke this, we're gonna finish this beer, smoking, shaking, get the fuck on out of here. That night with me and my brother, I was, you know, a little yacked up. Sure. Very talkative.

And I was going around like. The worst. Yeah, I was like chatting up people. Hey, come here often? What do you do? Listen that. Where are you front? Like, man, looking back.

I'm lucky. We made it out of there. Yeah. I think our throat slit in the bathroom. There's a place. I don't know if it's still open. I mean, it still looks at. It's on Broadway as well all the way up there called the 21 bar.

And there's like, it's like a go-go bar. Like girls dance on the bar, but like in bikinis or something. Like considered bar, it's not a strip club. I got you. It's real small, dude. It's like. Not a go-go bar guy. There's probably like 10 seats, maybe seven, 10 seats in it.

Is it still open? On Broadway? Yeah. Yeah. It's a. 100% pure Dominican hangout. And I rolled in there with my boy. And I was just one of those things.

Even like the bouncer's like, guy, this is, you sure? It was just like, he didn't say anything, but it was like, I'm going into, not enemy terror, but I'm, you know, I'm on the other side. Just to you specifically? Yeah, yeah, yeah, to me, specifically. This was years ago, too. This was. He was my man, what are you doing?

No, but it was like, uh, he said, something in Spanish to my boy where I don't know if he thought I was a cop or what it was you know and I sat in someone's seat oh yeah I remember this and it was like uh there was a conversation I'm sorry sir good day or is a conversation in Spanish between my boy and this guy and my boy's not the kind of guy to relinquish the seat he was it was very much you're fucking sitting there and now I don't know what's happening. They're going back and forth And I'm like

I'm trying to get fucking Buzzwords or something He's like you're sitting in that fucking seat Because there's like a pride thing for him like Wait till you're pistola And delay But yeah And then that was another thing

Where me and him We're like me and him been in a lot of iffy situation Sure Where we've been like I was like he's like We're finishing these We're doing two beers I'm not letting them feel like

They're running us out of here I like that Yeah I like it in principle I don't like it when I don't know what the fuck's going on And I'm the cause the issue I said I'm always the guy in the wrong seat You got walking in front of the frame

Yeah I'm always just they're like I don't I get a little too comfy A little too quick crack a joke A little too you know what I mean I got a bad face sometimes This guy knows what I'm talking about right Slap on the back Ain't that right Pacca

All right we gotta wrap it up What a fun one Yeah me thanks for all the submissions They were fantastic Yes Gang we love love you. Mm-hmm.

We'll see you next week. Peace.