Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - The Incredible Hulk w/ Kippy & Foley!

Episode Date: September 16, 2024

Are You Garbage is back with Kippy and Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. Its a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG Live Show Tickets: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Fum: https://www.tryfum.com/garbage Promo Code: garbage Blue Chew: https://bluechew.com/ Promo Code: Garbage Fresh Direct: https://freshdirect.com Promo Code: AYG Ladder Life: https://www.LadderLife.com/GARBAGE Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hold on there, gang. New York City, New York, do yourself a favor. Come out to the Gramercy Theatre October 1st for the second edition of the AYG and Friends show. We had such a great time there in September. Come out and see the gang. Yeah, we've invited some of our favorite and your favorite guests and friends to come answer your garbage questions. The Gramercy Theatre, 10-1, all tickets available at rugarbage.com. Do it. Welcome to another exciting edition of RUgarbage. The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.

Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is R.U. Garbage. Oh yeah. So a little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that they're good to be classy. Yeah. They're just a big old piece of trash. Trash, trash, trash.

I'm your host H. Foley coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tooties in a new edition. She just hit a deer. Mm-hmm. She was jogging throwing elbows man at say Kwan Barkley's got her all fired up my lane baby my coast is coming at you from across the table he is the CEO of are you garbage he is an international businessman he's the chicken parm hero

look out give it up for KJ Kevin James Ryan everybody what up gang shout out to you thanks for tuning in as always please make sure you rate review subscribe on iTunes full video available on YouTube then obviously the greatest website of all time You pull out your little phone your little tablet your laptop whatever you got you go to www.patreon.com Slash are you garbage you get all the bonus content needs gang. I'm talking weekly episodes sure of Bonus episodes ayg weekly episodes of hard feelings, which I gotta, weekly episodes of Hard Feelings, which I gotta let you, that's when a rubber hits the road there, baby. And then all the bonus videos we've done over the past three, four years. Ireland, Down the Shore, Walt Disney World.

The hot dog videos, the cribs videos, the camping video, everything's on there. Plus the new one is- You got a hot new goal. A hot new challenge. War! The paintball challenge. We're talking war games, baby. Me versus H Foley, paintball challenge talking war games baby me verse H Foley paintball extra to jeans doing it in real urban environments. So doing it your apartment building flying down to South

America knocking over some government down there with a couple of paintballs and a couple of guys that don't let us say no real Bay of Pigs thing we got going on me and you on the I got a Corona got a sunscreen gang. We're here on the beach. I got a Corona. We got a sunscreen. Gang, we're here for what we like to call a little family episode. Just the boys, the bozos and the homies. We're going to be answering your questions from the old Patrione. Before we get into that, something I got to reveal something here. Never a good sign from the beat. If you ever wonder why we're gonna host to this show

Let me tell you something that Patty Foley never ceases to amaze me sure but spending some time with her We go out to dinner. We're riding at the dinner. We get the dinner. We're talking we start talking about Methylated vitamins we start cats what Foley's big on right now now, by the way He thinks that's gonna turn the ship around Gary Brackett hit me up. I'm tanking here. Maybe I need vitamins Yeah, maybe I need less way to lay off the hook. You know what I mean Pharmaceutical Anyway, we start talking and we start kind of talking about that stuff about like, you know, what's in our food supply blah blah blah blah tin foil hat situation. I feel I mentioned. What's the stuff called?

Gasphosphate, the stuff that's in Roundup. Oh, I don't know. Whatever that stuff. Sure. The bad stuff in Roundup. Yeah. And then she happens to mention to me very offhanded because I'm like, you know, it's a good thing we never really had that stuff. She's like, oh, what are you talking about? She's like I got airline tickets from them. What do you mean? Do you remember back in the day the only trip that we ever really took when I was a kid that we flew is

We flew out to see my cousins in they lived in by Lake Tahoe. Okay, we flew to San Francisco Was right after the big earthquake in 89. That's when you're the going gets the big earthquake. Hell, that's a natural disaster. The Foley Star buying plane landing was a little bumpy. I remember driving around San Francisco being like, are we supposed to be here? Like it was a few months after I met and set up and everything. Yeah, I want to say maybe that happened in October because I could have swore that happened during the World Series or something

Sure. We were there that summer. I don't know what kind of deal they got on tickets But it turns out I guess Patty was using a lot of Roundup at the time, which we weren't farmers We had no livestock No chickens, no grain, no feed. And this is when it was probably the worst for you Yeah, we were a Roundup family for sure. Yeah, it worked. Everybody was. I mean, they were pumping out on the commercials.

Roundup, Roundup, Roundup. I guess they had some type of deal that if you bought enough of it. If you buy in bulk. You got some airline tickets. And she told me, she's like, that's how I afford, that's how I could afford our airline tickets to go out to see your cousins when you were a kid round I got two free tickets to

free round trip tickets round up round trip. That's pretty good at that's why is the CEO international businessman baby always be close energy gang synergy vertical integration that's crazy. Yeah that was her big thing and it was also a big deal at the time that my dad took a Mac flight out there He knows a Mac. He was in the back of a fucking c130 He took a he didn't fly with like con air. What do you? Know yeah, that's flying cargo cross-country. He's he was in the goddamn Navy. So they have flights They could they're called Mac flights, so they were called Mac flights. I don't know what that man

It's called cheap ass motherfuckers. Yeah, he flew in like a jump seat in a c130 from Willow Grove to I Say Sacramento or something like I went to that air show the Willow Grove air We used to go all the time. Yeah, he used to work it. He worked the booth. He had a booth They had a recruiting booth. I don all about about I might have seen you there I remember being hotty shit. Oh my dude. I was wearing a tarmac in August. I was I was wearing shiny plain I was wearing silk boxers It was dude case you met a pilot Do you talk about for business for business. Bunch up.

I had a jumpsuit going on myself. The parachute got you, dude. Talk about a canopy. Dude, it was, I remember being like, this was a bad choice. I thought you only had one pair of silk underwear. I did. For every one pair, they really got around.

It wasn't big on laundry. I didn't like doing a lot of shit. Jesus. No, but yeah, I remember being so, I remember fucking. They were always so hot. It was like when you could see the fucking heat. Yeah, it was like a montage in Top Gun. Yeah, it was brutal.

Yeah, it was tough. But I remember I got a cool pocket knife there. Pocket knife? I was big on pocket knives for a very long time. I think someone just gave that to you. What? They sell pocket knives at an air show? Yeah, they did.

There was like vendor booths. Really? Yeah. Mine was all military. I don't know which one you were at. You sure it was the set with the Blue Angels there? I don't know. Well, if they weren't there then you were at a fucking circus.

I don't even think I... I know it was... Because I grew up not far from the Willow Grove Air Base and I don't remember seeing any planes. It might have just been a flea market now that I think about it. Yeah, you were. I might have just went to a flea market. I like you. How you getting on the base? You got no credentials. I used to have the ID and everything they what I did. I had a military ID When I was a kid here we go to get on the base so we could go to the Navy

Stop acting like you did anything the Navy exchange was like a but they're like bad grocery stores on Yeah, I can buy bruised apples myself. I don't need I don't need to go to it fucking air base I thought we'd always go to get liquor for like a Christmas party. I was they had some deal Maybe it was duty free or something like that Yeah, but we're gonna load up on a liquor for the big celebration a lot of pina colada mix I remember when I remember first seeing that stuff and like I thought there was booze in there Sometimes there is yeah, not the one I snuck. I don't just cut off I thought my teeth were gonna fall out of my mouth. That's a lot of sugar

I remember my dad making me virgin pina coladas when we were a kid if we were out of ice cream Like you wonder why I'm what are you working a whole hands? Who does that? That's crazy I shit we do our 86 ice cream. I make him a mocktail real quick. Put him to bed That's shut me up. That's crazy. Yeah, you break out the blender and make a pina colada I was the only one in the family that touched them. My brother thought it was gross. I thought it was Are you a divorcee? That's great living in Key West dude. That's crazy Just fucking crushing pina coladas. Yeah me my old man now. There's no booze in mine I don't think I got pretty sleepy afterwards. I don't know was that of the sugar, but

Blood sugars fucking spiking dude. Yeah, it was alright. Uh-huh that and he had strawberry daiquiri So if we were out of uh if we were out of ice, do you have any run a tiki bar? So if we were out of uh if we were out of ice, what do you run a tiki bar? Just the blenders got mixes in the house. Yeah, we weren't fucking I mean I stole family drinks like Cowboys though real shot and beer vibe whiskey They do man there was uh We had a bunch of stuff growing up all that they just just like dark bottles from when like my parents got married, like just old shit that, you know, liqueurs and frangelica and all that kind of shit. Godiva, Godiva liqueur.

All that kind of shit. And that just started systematically getting thinner and thinner as my brother got old, like you know what I mean, like just feel something, you know. Amaretto and Dr. Pepper. Sure. Woo wee. Bale, I mean the only thing that would be- You know we called that Dr. Pepper. Sure. Woo wee. I mean, the only thing that would be. You know, we called that Dr. Pepper.

Maybe it was Amaretto and Coke. Yeah, we would. The only thing that got drank proper that would like was Neesee wine, which was at the time was Pink Sutter Home, White Zinfandel. Sure. Which is very popular now. They call it Rose, but it's White Zinfandel. Yeah, it's trash. That was the now they have their Rose sparkling, which is very big.

Among the jet setters. Is that who you're the Blue Angel pilots? What are you talking about? Guys drink beers. Uh, was beers was for a while. There's Coors Lights and then, uh, Vio for my step grandfather. Had to keep V.O. And then that switched to SoCo,

and he would just do straight SoCo. What fraternity was he in? SoCo? That's wild. Treasure, alpha, treasure. I can't touch SoCo. I can't touch SoCo, and I can't touch Canadian Club. I got messed up on it when I was in eighth grade.

Sure, and then I remember that- Parents weren't even going away. They went away for, they left on a Sunday for a couple hours me and the boys hit the cabinet Yeah, that was and then I remember there a picture just surfaced to me someone sent it to me They guess they were going through pictures. It's me and Pat you working out Oh, it was me and Pat drinking hypnotic and alize in the back of the limo on our way to junior prom How many albums you saw? Alize yes Alize who's a fuck they were rap

We didn't know anything and they rapped about it and whoever whatever the connect that got us the bottles man you kids Really got bought them because I didn't know what they were he goes I only ever heard like you know Jay-z or 50 cent rap about his first of all to for broads It used to say yeah for chicks I mean, I think oh yeah, get it. No Alize. It's like fruit juice. Oh, it's like red Oh, is that in the frosted champagne looking by yeah, that stuff was alright. Yeah, that's that found it because I found your bottle of a lease That's like it's out Liza dog And it's for ladies and then we were making incredible hulks after that which was

You mix the hypnotic and the Henny makes the incredible Hulk cuz it turns green cuz it's brown and the hypnotic looks like Windex man someone I forget it was like g unit or so as you rip your shirt forget who you were for a couple hours You wake up next to a creek. Wake up. My pants are purple. Mixing hypnotic and Henny called the Incredible Hulk. Man, we do the one day that I think that was senior week. I think Vinnie got thrown out of the shop right in Ocean City or the Act me in Ocean City or the Acme in Ocean City.

Ha, I first, I bumped into some guy, I bumped into a homie recently. He's like, holy shit, I'm from here. Here. I was like, oh shit. And I was like, you know, Vinny and he's like, yeah, I go, that's Vinny with the skinny went, no shit. That's I go. Yeah. He's like, holy shit. Yeah. Vinny with the skinny introduced me to incredible hulks, man, and a fuck at that.

Once, any hell of a marketing master That's skinny. I don't care who you are. I mean, I don't think he was on the I don't think he was in the organization but that As a young age when that dark alcohol gets introduced to like a group of 18 year olds. That's bad No good. You should be staying with vodka That's a bit like get your feet. Hold on you first of all you should You should be staying with vodka. That's a like get your feet wet. Hold on.

You first of all, you shouldn't be underage. Well, some countries it's 18. Uncle Kevin forgets it. Gentlemen, it's a different time. Yeah, you stick to beers. Stick to beers. You don't need liquor. No.

Yeah. Once liquor came into the picture, it was bad news. That's when everybody would get in fights. Yeah. Yeah. That brown. Yeah, you start fist fighting each other, which is bad news. Or any of it.

Vodka. Bad. Poison. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. You start fist fighting each other, which is bad. Or any of it. Vodka. Bad. Poison. Sure. Like Roundup. There ain't no airline tickets involved. I tell you that. One way ticket to rehab. One way ticket to promises. Yeah, I remember riding around. Riding dirty? No, we went to San Francisco. I've had to have told you. We went to San Francisco and then we were driving up towards Lake Tahoe where my cousins live. But I ran a car. You didn't leave unless you put the car

in there. You put your dad's car in the operation hootie drop. You ever see those things in the Humvees go flying out the back of those things? Man and you catch a shoelace on that you're in trouble Yeah, there goes Gary fuck Get hanging on to the bumper. I picture your dad like D day where he's like chained up on though He's chained up on the rope the parachute rope He's got a couple call He's got a couple call me

Well my fat ass kids I love them ripping a heater like it's nothing I just open a goddamn doorway I got dinner reservations at Johnny Esquagga's nugget, which is where we went Johnny Esquagga's. Yeah, I think it's Johnny I want your dad's old military Squagga I could have swore it was Johnny's school Johnny Es Esquaga's nugget the nugget. I think it's the same As a nugget in Vegas gotcha. This was in Reno Which I told we went to Reno for a buffet Sure and everything from peanut butter and jelly to frog legs. It was fantastic It was probably don't sound classy in Reno. I'd never touch them Sure, I've had snapping turtle soup though at the Blue Bell Inn. That was alright.

But now I remember driving around San Francisco and like seeing like the pancaked Freeways and being like huh, it's a strange place to vacation. Yeah, even as a little kid. Mm-hmm post post earth from natural disaster. Yeah post natural disaster post the Earth from natural disaster yeah post natural disaster sure we never took any weird I mean bush gardens that was the weirdest one we wanted out right away well documented if you've been the bush gardens if you've been to colonial Williamsburg and I remember being

obsessed with those Budweiser Clydesdales that and the dog that Dalmatian that was commercials were big at the time they weren't down there yeah they were why Oh bush gardens yeah Yeah, is that anhyzer bush? I think so. Oh, I didn't know that. I thought bush was separate. No, I like bush beer But they're saying he's our bush. No kidding. I don't know get you coming and go I don't know, but we went to the Budweiser plant I remember my dad's fucking cracking them back and I remember going because he always drank Michelob. I go I didn't think you like but

Because you always drank Michelob. I go I didn't think you like butter I didn't think I remember I got I didn't think you drink bud Why I thought like I didn't think you were such a fat little bastard, but it turns out you are I want you shut up and go watch that lady churn butter See if you can wrestle up some shooters from there get me some pills from the medicine Get me some pills from the medicine man. They've been Percocet yet or what? What year is it? Get me some penicillin, I'm gonna think I'll run it that broad. Some moldy oranges for the old man.

But that was the first time, because I don't know about you, I mean I'm sure you, my family drinks what they like. There was no like, oh I think I'll have that. The only time my mom would ever call an audible She went out and they didn't have white Zinfandel. She made me do a pinot grigio, and I remember that was like I remember my mom would go I'll do a white Zinfandel and I go Oh, we don't she goes I'll do a pinot and I knew that meant we were never going back Take a good look around this place. Hey kids. Don't worry about spilling food under the Dad and then cuz my dad just drank Michelob wherever we were went to a friend's house Take a good look around this place. Hey, kids, don't worry about spilling food under the table. We're not coming back.

That and then because my dad just drank Michelob wherever we were, went to a friend's house. They had Michelob for him at the house. And I didn't think I just thought adults drank the one thing they drank. Which I like a Michelob. Yeah, they don't make it at that ultra. That sexy hourglass bottle.

They had the paper on the caps. Woo. After a hard day's work, a cold Michelob. Couple of them in a car. We would always be in situations where if we went to a place now, normally the real boozy cousins, okay, would know where we're going and if they supplied their beverage of choice. Sure. There wasn't a lot of trying new. Now, you know what I mean? and

If they didn't have it They wouldn't drink that's crazy and dinner would be about 15 minutes. Sure, we'd be out of there No, you know what? It's fine. Bring the check with the on drink. Yeah, we're gonna wrap. We're okay. No, it's fine Yeah, that's how they would rock it out. Yeah, I mean we were very much the same I mean we're the same now when we all get together. It's like everybody knows what everybody's on. Now the seltzers, especially in the summer, everybody's drinking seltzer. So it's like just get a gang of seltzers and the rest of the figure. Give us a little bit about blue.

I'm hard right now. Gang Boehner alert. Knock knock. Who's their boner head? So you limp noodles out there, huh? Right. Or if you got a stinger and you just want a little more power behind it. Knock knock, who's there? Bonerhead. That's for all you limp noodles out there, huh? Right here. Or if you got a stinger and you just want a little more power behind it. Oh shit, trying out for the pros, huh? Swinging with two backs.

You got the combine this weekend. Do yourself a favor, start juicing with a little blue chew. Sure. Dang, as you get older, I can attest to this. You put on a little weight. You're not inside. Got a bad attitude. You know, you're not as Ver-ro-ver-rocious.

Vitality. Sure. You can't get hard no more. Jesus Christ. It's not... There's chicks watching this for God's sake. No, there's not. It don't get as hard.

Yeah, that's right. Don't get as hard. I used to knock down telephone poles with that thing back in the day. Now I need a little help sure so when things are about to start getting frisky You know after dinner in the afternoon or you know you're in a Sears or something like that Things start picking up pop one of those babies in so that when the time comes When they push that button they say hey, it's go time sure you're ready to hit somebody Yeah, blue chill is an online service to delivers the same active ingredients as Viagra, Cialis, and Levitia,

but at a fraction of the cost in chewable form. Tablets are made right here in the good old US of A. Prepared and shipped directly to your tour. I'm talking homegrown boners, baby. Take that, Taliban. You can take them anytime, day or night, so you can plan ahead for whenever the opportunity arises. All done online, all fantastic, easy to do.

Blue True wants you to have the confidence to perform at your best, so discover your options at BlueTru.com. We got a deal for our listeners. You can try Blue True for free when you use the promo code GARBAGE at checkout. Just pay the five bucks for shipping. That's BlueTru.com, promo code GARBAGE. To receive your first month for free, visit BlueTru.com for more details, important safety information. We thank blue true for sponsoring this podcast get hard. Yeah, we do. Kip, let's talk about Fresh Direct baby. Shout out to the

freshest and most direct in the biz gang gang we used to be like you wandering around grocery stores looking for fresh food and never finding it. Now we're on Fresh Direct. Fresh Direct is farm to kitchen food source directly from farmers, fishermen, ranchers and delivered straight to your door. You know why I love it? Because every week they show up and it's fantastic. Ooh, yeah, shout out to Fresh Direct.

They hooked us up. They lined us up with a couple of promo codes. And let me tell you something, Daddy-O. My wife is in love with it. It's fantastic and I love it because she loves it. You know why? Because I don't have to go to fucking, I don't have to go to farmers markets anymore don't have to go to farmer's markets anymore

looking for fresh produce because Fresh Direct, whoop, right to the door. She's happy, I'm happy. It's a no brainer, gang. Don't gotta bring the bags up from the car. So here is the turkey. For over 20 years, Fresh Direct has been delivering the freshest fruits and vegetables

and meats in the Tri-State area. Don't take our word for it. Try it and believe it. With $50 off your first order, gang, that's a lot of produce. Go to freshdirect.com and use the code AYG. That's freshdirect.com, code AYG for new customers to save $50 off your first order.

Terms and restrictions apply. See the site for details. Do it. Fresh Direct. I remember my dad's boy one Labor Day, Memorial Day. You know every once in a while you go go out to like you do something that you don't normally do instead of having like our thing or my cousin's thing. It's like, oh, we're actually we're going up to, you know,

Commander Johnson's this year, you know, your dad's buddy. He does a thing. I didn't hang with a lot of commanders, a lot of ex cons and con men, but no no real commanders and there was a nickname. But we go out there and I remember one year for about a week. My dad's boy had almost turned them on land shark.

Listen when we called him land Cheetal's when land or Don Cheetal's when they dropped. Whoo. Hey, I was all right. No shock tops. Oh get out of here Yeah, that was Doc tops That was for people in cutoff shorts and shirts and we were out there and we started drinking them

Because I was I was over 21 at the time. I would have been like 30 That's insane. You're too. First of all the beginning of the story started when you were eight years old and now you're drinking and you're 30 Yeah, I was I was definitely I think I was doing comedy That's nuts because we had because he was a lawyer and he had helped us with something and so like that year We went out there. We were hanging out whatever It's always weird when you're at like not the function you're normally a lot you're normally at so it's like uncomfortable You can't go in on the appetizers the way you normally would. Your family's not there.

It's a lot of different people. Sure. And it's not the same like hierarchy or it's like not all family. It's like, oh, this is, you know, Dave, he's our neighbor. And this is his son and his second wife. And it's like, get out of here. What's actually getting you get somewhere to get introduced to a place you're not used to get introduced to a guy real quick and right away. I got it's not my oh, yeah

Then you're stuck with Dave and his son and you're like, how long you been collecting stamps or whatever And you're like mozzarella balls with like little cherry tomatoes. You call him snowman. Yeah, call me a cab Hit me with a Michelob what's with the shock topples? But yeah, he was guy was big on shock tops. Love the shock tops. And they didn't really hang socially like that all the time. It was like he was his boy from back in the day and all that kind of stuff. But. He got he had like five or six of these are pretty good. I mean, you fucking six of them yet are going to be pretty good.

Yeah. And then he tried to like push it at the house like the next weekend. And my patty,ty God lover fucking put her Drinking that fucking hippie shit. I'm never one time. We were somewhere in this guy gave my dad a blue moon That was that was the end of that hang. Yeah. Hey, you want the orange my dad's like I'm good I'll see you fucking late Something just came up with work. I gotta go anywhere So do I but this guy mean, like he went from Michelob. And then I think they stopped producing Michelob. He

switched to Rolling Rock. And that's it. Like, you can't throw any curveball. So you call lateral moves. Yeah. No, no, there's no fucking curveball. Man, I never a draft. A blue moon to an old school dad. He might as well be in a boot. I know. He's like, get the fuck, I thought we won the war, pal. Fucks heffa-vison. Yeah. Good stuff. Yeah.

That brings something I wanted to talk about. I was with family a couple weeks ago and this was, it bothered me in the sense of the lack of growth in my family in certain aspects is crazy. It was a couple weeks ago, we were down the shore and everybody's... Fighting? Sure, everybody's drunk. Makealobes were flowing like wine. It was the last slice. We never were, and still at this point, with the advances in modern technology, Amazon,

we are not a pump family. Like a bike pump, an air compressor. Never had one. Dude, I don't... And if you did, you sure as shit didn't have the needle. Dude, it's where's the pump? All the kids' tires are flat on the bike or whatever. We got to load them up in the trunk. Take them to the wall.

I go, what year is it? Do you look at pumps are nine dollars on Amazon? And they're going, maybe we go over to Brendan's. Brendan's got a pump to get over to Brennan goes, no, but my old neighbor, Gary, he's got you got to go down to 20 fish. Now you're like searching like it's fucking crack. I'm like, well, what's the hell's going on here? Yeah, when I was 15 bucks, when I was homeless, I found a bike needle in the freezer

And I was like, what the fuck is this? She's like they keep losing it. Yeah, so that's where I'm keeping it It's like what what is it about dirtbag families that you just she has a compressor now Patty She is one that you plug in Denise I don't know where the fuck she got it Denise had one of those for a very long time No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Really? I mean, I remember those. We've been fascinating. We've been plugging tires for a minute. Warranty for the life of the tire. Are you kidding me? That's a rubber band in there. 1922. I mean it's just goop at the end of the day. Goop's been around for a hundreds of years. My dad always thought it was a ripoff because they go in and they do it more. They make it bigger. Yeah, he didn't trust that. He got one and he was like nah I just may rather be safe with me my dad. He would buy tires

Because he was so anxious so everybody got fresh tires He would never just change one Yeah, we do if we change better than killing yourself if we change one chances are it was used We went down to this place off 95, or like in the northeast. That joint that caught on fire, remember that? No, that was bad. The big tire fire in Philly. No, that was bad though.

Yikes. It melted the goddamn freeway. But Denise had one in the trunk, and we always knew it was in the trunk, because she'd come out of work and it'd be a slow leak, she'd have to pump it up for a long, like for almost every other day she had to pump it up, so it lived in the trunk trunk so we knew it was there

But then I guess she got a new tire. We lost the the air compressor That thing running through the sig lighter. Yeah trying to reach. That's how you would do it. Yeah, how would you do it? This was in our garage She wasn't pulling it out of the fucking glove compartment and plugging it in. Oh, no Yeah, we had a pole. Yeah, was it like a one. It lived in the trunk, it had the sig lighter charger. Whoa. And it would dance on the ground. You gotta like kick it, you gotta keep it in place.

You puttin' it on your nuts. Ah. Yeah, ma. But all that's neither here nor there, gang. We got a gosh darn family episode on our hands. When you guys guys as you know When you join a patreon we will answer your garbage question ony here. Hmm shout out to the MF and homies dog Hmm. This one's just nuts. This one's from Chris D

Is it garbage if instead of a DJ the wedding couple has a local FM radio station playing during their wedding reception I'm talking rural car dealership commercials, DJs doing plugs and hyper specific community shout outs in between songs. And everybody's just side at each other waiting to start dancing again. Dude, that's all time trash. People are calling in for the contest. Three more callers.

Yeah, I get it though, man. As a guy who's going through it, I get it sure but there's corners everywhere You can that's it. That's a four dollar fix with Spotify You gotta pay for that five bucks you get the ads. That's the only reason I signed up for the Spotify was for my wedding I don't know. Oh really? Yeah, that's who I made. I've a curated a great playlist curated great playlist huge Yeah, that was the only read I bought it at 599 or 499 or whatever it was for that But um I used to our we used to have when I was at TU shot at the Temple University home of the owls

I had our house on Edgeley Street. We'd have party gunshot wounds. That was that was straight We didn't have a CD player or enough CDs to like you're a playlist guy No radio FM radio. Yeah power. Yeah, but this is like way after I Used to like it be happening that makes sense for you in college. I used to like I'm talking 2010 I'm bumping fucking Q102 or power 99. Yeah, but back then it was you know You know it takes you back when When you hear a somewhat low playing radio of local radio with the commercials and all that stuff in the summer outside,

well, you kind of hear it in the distance a little bit. You're like that. Not the vibe you want at your wedding, but it's more of getting some on a rooftop. Sure, but this was also back when we used to do it, there was still enough people, I don't know if they still do it, but like at night from like 10,

cause that's how people used to power their parties, was the FM radio station. Sure. So it was like from seven to 11, so and so was spinning and there wasn't that many commercials because it was like, we're keeping the party going. And weren't they usually coming at you from somewhere? Ah!

Yeah, weren't they? From Egypt. Egypt on the waterfront? Sure. I was big back in the day. I never been. I remember always hearing about going that in pyramid. Pyramid was big.

There's all these warehouse bars on Delaware Ave. I know the dude that kicked all that stuff off. He was the guy that owned Rouge and Rittenhouse. Sure. I can't remember his name. Gary Rouge now He started he started he started opening clubs down here, and it all took off Yeah, I mean the feds rolled in yeah, well there's like fucking shootings there every

Every day banging down here felly. I don't know She go to Egypt one night Egypt on the water some alize that and there was this one in Center City. It's your birthday It was a British guy. It's a birthday Thursdays you go there on Thursdays you get in for free and you get like a free drink Or something I remember we walked in one time, dude It was fluid there was like four fat chicks celebrating a birthday party and me and four fat dudes And I'm like we got to get the fuck out. This is the worst guys are splitting a cake. I Brought my own as your birthday. That's just my

Thursday night cake. That wedding was cash bar, I'll tell you that. Oh, for sure. For sure. For sure. Cash back. Yeah. Alright, let's see. This one's from Gary. Is it garbage if your stepfather asks you to borrow a tie for a job interview? P as he's 59. That. That's... come on dude that's... there's no way he got that job. There's no way. I can't start over Kevin? Huh? You and your rich kid friends? No you can't borrow a tie is what the next question out of your mouth. Who's... what? I mean I know when I tried to get jobs in the... I mean you know that's well documented on my horrible job interviewing skills and outfits and everything like that, but is that still a thing?

Like I remember back in the day, we were like teenagers and you had to like go ask for like, you'd go into a place and be like, are you hiring? You go into a pizza place, a dry cleaners, are you hiring? I put on khakis and a collared shirt and my mom would drive me around and I'd get out and I'd go and say, hey, are you hiring? They go, I don't know, but you can fill out this application

and we'll put it and then they fucking crumble it up and throw it away. Sure. Is that still, like is the, if you're not going for like a business job, does the outfit matter at this point? Yeah, I think you gotta be presentable. Especially like a waiting tables job. I think there think you gotta be presentable. Especially like a waiting table's job.

I think there's a difference between presentable and, listen, I don't know what job this guy's going for, but if he doesn't have a tie, it's not requiring, if it's, you know, do you need a tie for a waiter job? Whatever the job is, sometimes, depends on the nice place. I'm just saying, but like if you're going to like, this guy's not going to be a waiter at a nice place,

if he was, he'd have some sort of tie. More than likely, the job that the stepfather was applying to is a job that doesn't require him to wear a tie Yeah, nobody's gonna wow him You'd be the best guy at this tire factory piano tie Some some Catholic school one of those plaid ties we were real short on him I One of those plaid ties we were real short on him. I remember my stepdad, I thought had the coolest eyes. They were what vodka molecules looked like under a microscope vodka. Yeah. Where the fuck did he get that?

I don't know. I may be like, this is Jan or this one's back. And I remember being like, man, you are the coolest dude I've ever seen. Yeah. So hang a sign in the window, pull me over. Hold my drink for a minute. Paisley was big back in the day. Nice paisley tie. They still don't really understand what paisley is. I don't either. It's not for me.

It's not my cup of tea. Look like amoebas or like cells. I think it's just like flowers, like paisley's flower. Is it? I think so. These were like pink Paisley ties were big. I don't know. I mean, I don't really know. That's how you scored when I was banging. Uh, alright. This one's just funny.

This is from my $10 home and never had one red. Ever been attacked by more than one dog at the same time? You did something wrong. Dude, a pack of dogs coming at you. Or one's getting you and then another one sees and joins in. Where the fuck are you hanging out, man? You gotta move. The streets of Cartagena.

Get new friends or something. God damn. Never, never went in, never luckily lived anywhere where there were loose dogs roaming around. Sure. That's usually get the fuck out of here. That's southern shit we've talked about. Roaming around. pack a wild dogs Catching the vacant lot coming home from school my boy that lives in the dr. Took one like he they were like

Loose dogs and like he just made one his and I just like I don't be like dude I didn't see that guy did not like me, and I did not like him Guys speaking was fucking high and me up I did not like him. I speak English fucking high and me up All right, let's see here this one's from KJ Peterman says we all know It is correct to place a burger upside down after you first pick it up. Yes, gentlemen But how many bites in that first pickup is acceptable? I just had four bites and it didn't feel right. Four bites is too many.

I'm also big on not putting it down a whole bunch. Yeah, then you're not really enjoying it though. I see both sides of it. I start getting anxiety that I'm eating it too fast and not enjoying it, but I'm with you on that. First of all, this is going gonna be an unpopular opinion. I am now Officially knife and fork. No, I love that. I love that You know what? I you know, that was something in the early 2000s when I came along

Whenever they started putting salad instead of the instead of the fries get out of here Which isn't bad a little b balsamic vinegar, sorry. You can still get some fries on the side still. The fork and the knife is all right. What I like to do is I would take the top bun and I would either stuff some fries or some lettuce or something there. And it's like a second sandwich.

And then I had an open-faced burger that I would eat and I would cut the fries and get it all together You feel like a gentleman. I mean that is the least gentleman thing I've ever I think yeah But what I was gonna really speed I feel like a gentleman you do especially if they put a slice of cheese on that top Bun, that's a cheese sandwich That's real. You got a whole other sandwich going baby make a little fry salad sandwich ain't nothing wrong with that I ain't not right with it either I'm gonna cut it in half man sure I want it I want it cut in half in a perfect world you don't want to cut it I know remember when you first were able to figure that out you don't have the right knife you don't have the right area

there's other people there's other stuff that should be done on a bigger plate with no other shit on the plate that should be done in a back. Now you you're cutting skills are no good. I can I can With the other end of a spoon you just got to put pressure I understand but it's not as good as when they do it It's not even close who cuts the burger you get a cut sometimes what yeah eating in an elementary school for sure It comes cut no all the time. Yeah, where burgers come cut. I mean I don't spots. Yeah, I Don't think so. They're not cutting the burger also when you cut it yourself I don't know what to tell you you like but they press you fuck up the bun Now if you do it like an idiot you do no you there's no way listen. They feel like Wolverine

Here's the thing. He's not gonna get off of one. They do cut burgers I don't know how to I don't know how they cut a burger and give it to you unless you mean shared Because all the juices would run out. They've done it. They do it. I've had it a bunch I didn't write it down and document it, but the fact that you've never seen it. I feel is crazy I've never seen them cut the burger Before it hits my plate. That's for sure happen. I've maybe had them cut it for me when it got to my plate I've I've received a cut more than I've cut it myself. Refill my apple juice. Cut that in half. Anyway, cut the burger in half. I'm with you. But I think back to his question,

two bites. You get your first good because they're never good bites right off the rip because it's a lot of like, I didn't really get to meet there was too much bond, whatever it is. So you get your first bite and then maybe a second bite that even it out like you're giving a haircut and then and then down and then you reassess maybe have a fry, maybe do a shot of fireball, whatever you got. Then you go back and you can systematically maneuver, then you begin the the bite and sip process. There you

go, which I think obviously the way bite and sip process. There you go. Which I think obviously the way to go. Sure. That's why you're having the burger to begin with. Mm hmm. I'm set with that a nice Coca Cola. This one's a home run. This is one from Chef Boy L.D. Is it garbage or where a tuxedo to court?

Geez, you're that case is lost. Proper lost murder trial. Your honor. Jesus, that case is lost, proper lost. Murder trial? Your Honor, yeah, that just looks like you're a rich guy showing up, he was like, I got a bigger event to get to. Your Honor, can we hurry this up? I got opera tickets after this. I got a black tie affair, I got to get through that.

It's also like you probably for sure don't have the right shoes I would have seen you're sitting there in New Balance That's that's bad. Yeah, you're losing. That's a mock me You're making a mockery of the courtroom in that situation is it but that's you just said you can get a hard-nosed judge Why not? But that's the classiest thing you can wear noizers Tuxedo is not the classiest thing you can wear noizers a tuxedo is not the classiest thing anybody can wear anymore What's classier than a talk to a nice suit? It's not classier than a tuxedo If it looks strange, I'm not saying wrong situation

You're you're you're I understand but the tuxedo is the nicest of the outfits correct a black tie affair is nicer than a fair That where you wear a suit to. I'll give you that. I'm not saying he's out of place. I'll give you that. He's for sure out of place. Fair enough. In his eyes, that's like people that wear their football jerseys. You go, this is the most expensive thing I got. And the courtroom where they're past hors d'oeuvres. He's out there dancing. Your honor, when do I give my speech? I want to thank everybody for being here. Also but like who has a tuxedo? That's going to court?

No but it's not aware that it should be a suit. If you have a tuxedo chances are you have a suit. He's trying to be classy. Or wacky. That guy always gets fucked over by the- coming here trying to be funny? They're throwing away the key. No way. Yes sir, no sir, keep your head down. Don't go in there try to be funny. They're throwing away the key. No way. Yes, sir. No, sir. Keep your head down.

I'll go in there trying to wow them. Is this your car dressing a bad magician? Your honor, how could I be there when I'm over here? This guy's good. Yeah, I don't think the sheriff's deputies would like that either. No, that's looking at Asia Yeah, but they're all I've you ever seen those courtroom fiascos. Those dudes are never ready They're always out of shape. They always look like me or worse versions that they're between me

You know somebody makes a move. Yeah, and they're It's always one guy who has them by the arm, his shirt's coming out of the back tucked in. That's not the crack squad usually. No, not throwing shade to the men in uniform. Of course. But the ones you see, they make it too far a lot of the time. You know who always gets a couple licks in? The dad of the victim.

He comes over the top and gets a couple. I respect that. Before that, I think in in that situation. They probably You know Take a half a step. I don't let him get his licks in let him get it out Dudes always handcuffed fucking catches him right mad fuck a pussy Love that shit

Kip it's talk about ladder shout out that ladder og ladder gang if you're anything like me, which I hope to God you're not, you like to put things off. Sure. There's some things that you shouldn't put off, and that's term life insurance. Get your family straightened out just in case the big one hits. You know what I mean? You catch a widow maker on a basketball court or something like that. Listen, if you've been a dirtbag like most of us, both of us and probably most of you

that have been your whole lives. How dare you? I'm just saying, you gotta be honest with ourselves. There's some shit we do and there's some shit we don't do. Don't stick your family holding the bag one last time. You have the opportunity now to take care of them. Sure. Do one good thing in your life.

Ladder life. It's a- No doctors, no needles. 100% digital, no doctors, no needles, no paperwork. When you apply for $3 million in coverage or less, just answer a few questions about your health in an application. Just need a few minutes a phone or laptop to apply. Latter smart algorithms work in real time. So you find out if you're approved instantly. It's that easy. There's no hidden fees. You cancel it anytime. Get

a full refund if you change your mind in the first 30 days. Plus they got a long track record proven history of paying claims. So go to latterlife.com slash garbage today to see if you're instantly approved. That's Latter, L A D D E R,life.com slash garbage today to see if you're instantly approved. That's ladder L A D D E R life.com slash garbage ladder life.com slash garbage. Do it. Kip, let's talk about fume, baby. Shout out to OG fume dog.

Gang fume is an award winning flavored air device that draws air into your mouth. They have fantastic flavors. They got crisp mint, they got orange vanilla. And with fume, you're not vaping, because vaping is for nerds. Yeah, don't be a nerd, gang. Try Fume.

Fume is nice enough, they've been an OG supporter of us. They sent us all the new products they have. It's fantastic, it helps you. You know, you use it when you're stressed out or you're trying to kick a bad habit. Bada bing, bada boom. It's easy peasy. I take them on the road with me.

It's fantastic. It calms the anxiety. It looks awesome, it's weighted, it's a high quality design, it gives you that physical, what's the physical? The fidget. Yeah, it scratches the itch you're looking for. And they also keep improving it with all that stuff. Yes, Fume has served over 300,000 customers and you can be the next success story for

a limited time. Use our code GARBAGE to get a free gift with your journey pack. Head to trifume, T-R-Y-F-U-M dot com. That's trifume, use the code GARBAGE at checkout. Do it. Yeah. All right, let's see here.

This is from Jake. Is it garbage to find a shell at the beach and say, oh, this will make a great ashtray one day That was that was many gifts to my mom and dad I would do a little paint or color on it and go over to my aunt and go hey Karen I got you a gift put your heaters out in this make sure you blow it in my face, okay? that was most of the most of the down-to-shore ashtrays until 99 were shells.

Yeah, those big scallop shells or whatever they were. Yeah, big clam shells. Collecting seashells as a kid. I did that. That was most of my childhood. Rocks. I would paint that. I collected and sold rocks as well. I told you about my rock tumbler at one point. Never worked. Made the rocks worse.

I thought I was going to make diamonds. I was a fucking, I was worse I thought I was gonna make diamonds Has a fucking I was looking for I was looking for an identity from up until about four years a little Gary V Yeah, huh? I'm trying to make it work Times were tough that he's just a single mother we needed extra cat He was always complaining smoking seashells. She was always complaining about how we didn't have any fucking money I heard that and I'm like I oh I got a fucking You know, yeah, it's the same thing Whenever she was doing the checks was crying poor your dumb broad

You stop working at the gap we bag cereal go back to school or She got her associate's degree. All you Zern County Community College. She was in Louis and Luzerne. Huh? That was one of the counties I was calling for when I. Home of the pencils. That was one of the counties I was calling for when I did that telemarketing scam job.

It was it was in and it was like the Sheriff's Department for the Northeast. Oh, you get it all up there. Waka Waka County and fucking Shaka Laka, do ya? You don't want someone taking your job, do ya? How much you want? You can get them hook, line and sinker. Yeah, it was nuts.

And so they're like, who do I mail the check to? I go, someone will be around an old van in about an hour to pick it up. Is that how you would do it? That's what it was, yeah, there was nuts. And so they're like, who do I mail the check to? I go, someone will be around an old van in about an hour to pick it up. Is that how you would do it? That's what it was. Yeah, there was drivers. No mail? No, because they would never mail it. Just scoop it up.

Yeah, some guy in a van. He was like a local guy. So for the you would call on behalf of there's a there's a police benevolent association. Yeah, or like the sheriff's organizations or whatever. It was fundraising for them. There's a great documentary, I think, on HBO or would just kick up to them. Who? Yeah, they get half.

Oh, they were 7030. Wow. 70 are away. I never made any money. I took the job because it was paid training and I needed cash. This is before you moved in with me sure That's how bad we were doing I was jobless working a job for the 250 bucks a week paid training and you moved in with me I was on pills and you were pretending to be a cop I

Come down fake arrest. All right, let me just spread them Somebody arrest you for my quota I need a couple more dollars catch me speeding But you would call there was a driver and the driver would stay at a hotel and we give the hotel free Free ad we go. Hey give us a free room for though for a week and We'll give you free ad space so they wanted that guy doing there for a week a lot of drugs I presume the first of all TV dinners as much as non cops as we were my last day it got raided by the Federal prosecutors office or something they came in and started taking computers looking for a handout I fucking put on a fake mustache

Acted like I was kind of like I was cleaning like I was a janitor in the building I started pushing pushing a trash can on wheels with a broomstick. I don't know Dive into the laundry Yeah But that's what we were calling up there. Yeah, it was uh, I felt so bad I never felt like more of a scumbag in my life Hey did what you had to do. I was ripping. Oh, I actually put a roof over my head I got a 40-year-old fat guy in my basement and let me tell you he's over the hot dogs. Okay

The same time you drank 12 dr. Peppers in a night It was the same time you drank 12 Dr. Peppers in a night. Got called out by somebody's girlfriend. Flip's ex-girlfriend. Yeah. And he drank all my Dr. Peppers. I go, they were in there when I went to bed. That means Foley came home at midnight, crushed 12 Dr. Peppers. I had a sweet tooth back then.

12 Dr. Peppers. This nosy broad, it was a goddamn gift. You're fucking judging how people give to who to the household No, that was for flip. No wasn't I remember saying here. I got these dr. Pepper's for use Yeah for use plural Now we're having to get what it gettings good. You gotta be shotgun of them things to get them down that quick It wasn't 12 was maybe like four Four or five dr. Pepper's dude will give me the two leaders. It was double digits

It was at least eight doctor the 12 pack was gone Okay, and I might have had one flip might have had one I'm the one that dined yet than a prosecutor Hey listen, I got this dr. Pepper scandal going on it Oh, if you could jam him up with some federal charges for a little bit We're sneak till trash day could really do me do me a solid here, buddy Tarnished state's evidence That was that was a unique time in our life. All right, let's see, this one's from Dylan.

$10 Bozo, never had one red. Is it garbage if your grandpop tries to take away the bike he got you for Christmas later that year? My grandpa's neighbor's kid had their bike stolen the following June, and he tried to take the one he gave me back for Christmas to give it to the neighborhood kid to look like the neighborhood hero I respect the move Probably stole the bike in the first place Two bikes I respect the move of what in the cloud in the neighborhood old guy comes in give away your grandkids fucking

Bike that you got him for Christmas I assume he's operating under the fact. I'll get you know yeah I got his kidney and it's also like if you're 14 and the kids 7. I don't know Yeah, yeah, yeah, give you that we're stealing was that big for you guys not for you stealing them But like was that like a big threat of bikes getting stolen in the neighborhood never No, never never Never anything like that. There was, around the time when I was probably junior, senior in high school, there was a rash of beers getting stolen out

of people's garages. Garage hopping. But they never found anybody that was involved in that. They got my boys banned. Yeah? Yeah. Had to do act weekends and stuff They got closed the garage door on them

Crap like right now. You can't leave. Yeah. Yeah. We were in and out two-man team second story guy Get in there Get the out the door shaving cream fog up the fucking couple of first-class tickets to Detroit and lay low for a couple of weeks So the heat blew over uh the my brother's bike got stolen And my mom it was suspected a bad kid in the neighborhood Expected my mom went over there knocked on the door with or my brother went or something and found The sticker from his bike the local guys bike shop on Street Rave, shout out to guys bike We had their own serial numbers and it was it was in his front yard and he was like, why would this be here?

Whatever this damn the kid fucking chiseled off the serial number. It's just a sticker. But yeah, it's an arch criminal right there Uh-huh as a little kid. It was bad shit redheaded kid. These were never good They were either weird or bad, redheaded kids. I got a lot of redheaded friends. You get the bike back? I think, but I think at that point- Piece by piece. Yeah, it was like the stickers were all ripped off

and the handlebars had been put on another bike and fucking, that guy was running a chop shop. He was a rich kid too, he was in like, you know those streets in the suburbs were like, right, let's say all the houses in the area were built in like the 50s Or 60s or whatever you know like split level Modest good neighborhood starts in a bad neighborhood in yeah Well, this was just that one street like it was just one cul-de-sac off a main street that a little subdivision

That's some builder bought you know six lots six six lots But one house on each acre or whatever big houses They stuck out and this guy was at the bottom was fucking had the premier house in the cul-de-sac And that's who fucking that's who stole it. Our whole neighborhood was like that. We had There was I don't know how many? 500 cookie cutter houses And as the cash started coming in in the 90s They started putting in like a real nice neighborhood above us and a real nice

neighborhood behind us got to a point when I when I would bring friends over I would drive through the nice part you never Do that I want them to think that I remember I remember no don't show them what they're not getting Well, I think about a time they get down like you're ready to have sex with a nice lady You show a picture of a huge hog and then you take your pants down. That don't make no. I don't know why I thought if you came through and she oh, this is a nice neighbor I remember my boy's mom saying that and then when we got to my street, you know lights start flickering That's I want to run the start screen in her windshield get out of here. It's my dad Bars to me. But sure. The car just stops.

Yeah. And I remember being like, oh, oh, this neighborhood. Yeah. Yeah, that was new. That does to my dad where they he was like a kind of a day. It was a dead end. It backed up to a cornfield or a farm or something. Never good. And they opened that up to like a new big toll brothers Yeah, goddamn toll brothers man. Make you feel real bad about yourself. Let's do it to make cash So even get a estimate on toll brothers housing how much money they got cuz they I don't know that's a more than regional That's like a relatively national company. I used to work for him. I've told you I know but I think they were from around us Yeah, they were I think I met one of them.

There was always a story. One of the kids used to got caught throwing a party in like the sample house. I respect that. Of course. I remember being like, that's fucking sick. So someone falls in the basement. No steps. Trouble happened to my boy in a toll brother's house. I don't have anything anything exact, but the toll brother's stock ticker is at 140 right now. That public public public public company.

140. Is that a lot? That's a lot. So they have to report their earnings if they're public. Yeah, true. Let me keep looking. Luke with the market news. I know, right? What the fuck?

Put a ticker tape under there. Big man up four pounds. Market caps 14 billion. I don't even know what that means. Market cap. What does that mean? I think that's like how much money they're moving like 14 billion to day They I mean most of the most of the suburbs of Philadelphia were toll brothers Yeah, I mean it was just I think like every all of my boys growing up all it all that new money early to like late

90s early 2000 shit. Yeah, I know all about it What's it pass by me like a freight train? I got into pets.com too late If we just would have got in the Yahoo or something like that We'd have cleaned up Yeah, we would have put like 10 grand. Like when I was in high school. Who had 10 grand in high school? Could have got it together.

What? I don't know. I couldn't have. I'm just saying if you did. I just got 10 grand together. But if you did, put 5 grand in the Yahoo. You'd be a millionaire. I know, but listen, up until this point.

Tech millionaire, till the bubble blew up. Up until this podcast, you never bubble blew up until this podcast. You never had five thousand dollars. Now I never did either. I never had five thousand dollars. Be scraping it together now to be honest. It's more decisions. Goddamn Toll Brothers. Sure.

Um, all right, let's see. This one's from Scotty B. Ever stand up through a sunroof home run, dude I Did once in a I think the first time I got in a limo. It's a whore's move right now. It's coming off showing my tits You want to see them they're like no no Standing up to do ways. That's the first time you got in a limo. You did that. Yeah, I made the funeral awkward That's the first time you got into a limo you did that? Yeah, I made the funeral awkward Richie would have wanted this is for grandma

No, I've never also I've never been in the the hurt the the lead car of A funeral like I've never you know how like the family gets in that weird I never have either purse limo because that's different. They more presidential than like oh it's not a limo going to prom no they're a little more yeah refined the liquor is a little better up there sure I've never been in one of them we just used our own cars for my dad's funeral we had the hearse and then me my bring my brother had a black Suburban and I had the black Jeep we're like hey we're in Real secret service some sirens Start running some lights Yeah, I don't I

Think that I remember that became wildly illegal at some point to going through a sunroof you get fucking split in half You slammed on the brakes you cut somebody in in half. I don't know about that. 100% you got to an accident hanging out of a sunroof. You know what? I just happened to me the other day. I never I only ever heard was I I closed my hand in a car door closed my fingers in a Tesla door. I got out dude.

And like I can't believe that you made it 38 years without doing that. I do that once a year. I never understood hurts you. And it's you're stuck. It made it 38 years without doing that. I do that once a year. I never understood. It hurts. You did. It's you're stuck. It closed. It latched to my fingers. Thank God those testers are pieces of shit and they're fucking made out of that carbon fine. I mean, American steel, I'll tell you that much.

If that was a fucking Ford Taurus, my fingers would have been gone. I was in a Hyundai Santa Fe today. OK, not bad. Not bad. Uh huh. Yeah, Hyundai's got good cars. Yeah, it was all right. Kia. They're the same fucking company. Just going to get stolen.

I mean, they're going to take it and fucking, you know, smoke meth and jerk off in it like they did to my forte. You know what's crazy? Someone's driving around in that right now has no idea. A bunch of fucking crackheads were in there. Dirty history. Damaged goods, right? been a rehab and everything. What if I'm gonna borrow a tie to get a job Swearing a tuxedo to court the problem with slamming your finger in a door is It you do it you realize oh fuck this thing's closed and then you have to have

realize, oh, fuck, this thing's closed. And then you have to have. The mental capacity, the calmness to reach over and open the door, which that might as well be eons. My guy started moving. What the fuck? I got out of the car. He didn't know and he pulled off and I'm like, what was in there? My fingers. You don't have bruises or anything? No, it was I was light enough.

That's what I'm telling you. The fucking test was are there pieces of shit like I didn't flip that fucking thing off Fucking flex on that pussy Yeah, I did it and then they got those weird handles that I'm not comfortable with that Fucking freaking always weird when you walk up to one of those and it's already opening they do it I don't like that shit. That's fucking got set up written. I also I give a peek in the back see who's it back there. Yeah that like please don't slam door It's like a slipping. That's my D. I'll slam the door if I want I did it in a work van and man It fucking hurt. I had to go get the needle How to get the needle to pop the yeah pop the blood that stings about that twice in my life, and it fucking hurts

excruciating pain Sure All right. Let's see. We got time for a couple more. This one's funny. This is from Ben $10 Homey never had one read. Are you garbage if you try to fist pump your doctor? Or fist pump your doctor? Yeah, that's up but that became so common in greetings and like through k of like, hey, thank you. Thank you. No, it's like it stopped being like a cool thing and became the way you greet everybody. Like, thank you.

No, I've learned. I've learned this over having insurance and seeing a lot of doctors over the last few years. I learned this. So you feel like you're coming from a point of wisdom. I learned this over having insurance. You can get away with that right after the appointment before they leave you can give them one of those Have you ever tried to talk to the doctor in the hallway? Before he might as well be in their bedroom

He don't want nothing to do with you want nothing to do with you, but they shouldn't that's they hit him with a hey Doc turns around who the fuck are you but then he gets in a room after they bang out He fucking high-fiving grabbing balls the whole nine yards sure it's real cash in there is sure but that's him doing his fucking He's doing his mental math there sure and ready, you know figuring out what's going on. Yeah. Yeah. He's also had to like You know, maybe he's got a process what he just saw in the other room. Are you a guy? What are you a doc guy? I don't know. I don't really go to a lot of doctors, but. I'm a big doc guy. I don't know how they like it or not.

I'd love to know what a doctor would think of that. If doctors, if they like that, or is it like demeaning? Is it like, hey kid, or hey buddy? I don't know. It's probably a little demeaning, yeah. I could have medical school for eight years to be called doc. I always just think of like mash and stuff like that

sure Everything goes back to what some sort of bad ward TV show I Always think a team whenever I buggin. That's how I call my start screaming medic doc For my cholesterol. Is it trash if your grandfather passes away and leaves his classic car to the woman he was cheating on grandmom with? Oh, god damn dude. That's fucking...

I mean but... Yeah. Wait, repeat the question again. Is it trash if your grandfather passes away and leaves his classic car to the woman He was cheating on your grandmom with I'm sure she got taken care of too That might have been the whole kitten caboodle. I don't think so If you're an old guy, you got a classic car and a fucking piece on this side a little bit of cash doing pretty well

Yeah, a little bit of cash. She's got no complaints. She probably got the shorthouse and it is and it I mean that's I think that's a big Assumption that he got multiple properties and this economy classic car Yeah, but he could have bought a 35 fucking years ago. That don't cost no money You know what he mean? It could just been it could have just been taking care of it It's not like he but I'm not it doesn't mean he bought it seventy thousand dollar car cash I don't know. It sounds like a rich guy to me What a $70,000 car cash. I don't know, it sounds like a rich guy to me. Classy car.

I think rich guys. Side piece? That's new money. I think old money, like they keep it real fuckin'. Sure. Real quiet. They would've whacked her. Yeah, fuckin' dumb broad. You would've been in the bottom of the Hudson.

You'd be like the trunk. All right, we gotta wrap it up though, gang. Gang, what a fun one. Uh-huh. Grab your tickets to the next are you garbage and friend show? Yes, 10-1 Gramercy theater. The last one we did was fucking awesome We had big J we had Ari Shaffer and Mark Norman this one We got a lot of guests lined up as well. It's gonna be fun gang. We love you. We'll see you next weekend peace