Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - The Tip w/ Kippy & Foley

Episode Date: November 17, 2022

Are You Garbage is back with a Kippy and Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. Its a fun one! FINAL RUN! Buy the Are You Garbage Card Game: https://areyougarbage.bigcartel.com/ Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://linktr.ee/AreYouGarbage PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://www.bonfire.com/store/are-you-garbage/ Established Titles: https://www.establishedtitles.com/garbage Promo Code: Garbage Ladder Life: https://www.LadderLife.com/GARBAGE Butcher Box: https://www.ButcherBox.com/AYG This Show is sponsored by BetterHelp, Better Help: https://www.BetterHelp.com/GARBAGE Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans

Stop the show gang. Let's talk about that middle-class famous store, baby. Oh, baby coming up to the fourth quarter on that Down to the finish on only a few times to see us gang gang It's a good time come on out and see the live show to mix the stand-up comedy Plus we played a little a yg with the crowd It's a great way to introduce new people to the show so bring this squad with ya Philadelphia sold out you snooze you lose We got some tickets left for the second show in Providence, Rhode Island in December We got some a few tickets left for our second show in Boston in December get those tickets

Let's party gang this podcast is brought to you by our good friends over there to establish titles with established titles You can purchase as little as one square foot of land and you can call yourself a lord or a lady It's fun and helps preserve the Scottish woodlands. Let's go. I know Guys establish titles plants a tree and works with global charity support global reaffore station efforts in every order So you're helping while you become a landowner. There you go Title packs give you at least one square foot of dedicated land on a private estate in Edelson, Scotland run an official certificate with a crest Boom, I got it in my hand, baby. They give it to you. Look at you It makes an amazing last-minute gift established. I was running a black Friday sale right now

Plus if you use the code garbage like this show you get an additional 10% off your purchase plus we wet our beaks We wet our beaks a little bit the boys everywhere you go I don't this listen you want to be a landowner do you rent like me? You want to get your hands on a part of the rock boom? You got it right there be a landowner throw it in your dad's face I told you never mountain nothing go to establish titles not me Percy But I know go to establish titles dot com slash garbage to get your gifts now and help support the channel do it Welcome to another exciting edition of are you?

Garbage the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or Absolute trash Now here are your hosts Kevin Ryan and H Foley Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast. This is are you garbage? Ah, it's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that the girl to be classy Yeah, that's just a mega. Oh pace of trash trash trash. I'm your host age fully coming at you on a beautiful day We're down here at Ed Tootie's basement. She got into those Mountain Dew hard ciders pretty strong yikes She'll be out for a couple of days all right going night night. My co-host is coming extra McRoss to tell you

That's a swing and a miss Two up two down your kids keeping score at home He is the CEO of are you garbage? She's my best pal in the whole wide world, and I'll tell you what I don't care How bald he is I love them give it up for KJ Kevin James Ryan. Thank you fat ass I was just What's up gang as always please make sure your rate review subscribe over to your audience tones or to Spotify Order whatever you listen on and then obviously You do you got full video available on YouTube and those numbers are

100,000 we can't thank you enough gang. We love you to death. I put in for the plaque you did I did we're under review So those 70,000 Chinese bots I bought May Jim was up Guys, it obviously the greatest website all all time. You can't choose these numbers These are iron clad www.patreon.com Slash are you garbage? It's a fucking party. Oh, yeah, that's what a dead raccoon hits the road You know, I'm saying good good time. That's good eating. That's it is you ever have roadkill

Guys have a nice quick shout out to our producer short and the other magic man makes us all look good works The ones and twos crosses the T's dots the eyes the leaps the ups Gang Tebow McMuffin Toby McMullin everybody. What's up dudes, and I'm so fucking sorry my bad I'm gonna lead it enough. We had one in the can. I was skinny in it. It was beautiful No, it was Steve Martin was a guest. I swear to God Steve Martin lardy cable guy Jeff Fox were is crazy. Yeah. Well, what are you gonna do? I'm back next time they're in town guys There's a family episode fam Dan

It's the best of the business circle in the wagons is it? I don't need no other bozos letting your hair down just us and the bozos in the homies I was famous people can Hangin out the guys the bullies the gals the whatever The day then you'd rather hang out the dude in the same t-shirt drinking a warm red bull Oh, I'm sorry was it not I knew I was crazy I just was crazy you haven't complained yet about something coming back from the store sure I Was shocked. I didn't get pushback until we press record and you got to throw it in my fruit salad

Don't that's been in there since Tuesday. Well, you know, and you're you're right about those protein bars right about you complaining Yeah, yeah, you're right about the protein bars, you know good for you. They're good. That's good chewing. No, man Yeah, that's a dude. They're candy bar. Good. You would you find a candy in your pocket really is though Yeah, I love that chew. Yeah power bars were my favorite when I was a kid my brother He was like working out and stuff like that. I don't know how he got it But he got a box of them working out in the 80s or not. It was like a thing Yeah, it was like it was that I'm working out. Yeah, I mean it was like you had an attitude for some reason What I'm working out and then you were pumping iron in the 90s

You were a bit of a dick whatever Nautilus was they were doing it him and his friends are all doing a good night of decalb Nautilus working out. I went in there once like nope Hey, what a chick's that? Is there a bar on here a sausage? But yeah, he had a box of Power bars and man, I would just sneak in there Gonna do a little you know what I mean have a have a big-ass Gatorade downstairs and a fridge showing he got so pissed Sounds about right. He's been lifting tow. He's really fucking tune you up. I think I took a beat

He never steal the steroids up a fucking powerlifter. You know I'll hit you in the top of the head you're going to ground. Hey, you chalk still up there What are you busting my balls for man? I didn't touch the creatine peanut butter ones the chocolate ones for some reason I could just be remembering this wrong. I thought there was a banana one Maybe that was runs. All right. What are you? I Can't remember I'm imagining your brothers He's working out with the thing with the handle with all the springs Yeah, that and the other thing that was big in the 80s and 90s was the grip. Oh forget it. Yeah, don't get near that guy

If that guy is watching a basketball court or something like that working at the sports get ready to open a jar of pasta Yeah, yeah, I got that. I've got that mega grip two of those going. Yeah. Yeah wild now He had the straps for a little while they're the wraps up for your hands for the for the bench press He had that I was all natural Guys all fresco over here. I did have the Hulkamania workout set when I was real little What's that racism and a son in or something? What's going on bleach? Now you had a barbell. Yeah, you had a two dumbbells. You had a jump rope dumb ass daughter Shout out the brook by the way. Hey, don't be don't be throwing shade of brook

I used to tug my root to that show pack of rubbers in there Hope can't be popping kids on the roof A couple cycles of windstrawl, you'll be fucking cooking daddy ultimate Warriors dealer's number Only Tammy and Tampa Tammy I like that That's good. I got a little. Oh, sorry. I was gonna say I love that 80s. Look That was my thing when I was a kid because I was a kid I think your thing is now if you had to describe your aesthetic your style your swag and what I would say

Gluten's up there. I'm heavy and gluten. Yeah, I like I got it all in gluten Full in hello deuces Just at the cholesterol checked. Uh-huh waiting to hear back And get you up on a wreck I'm not gonna know much. I get you up on a lift there. Todd Charlie's at lunch. I'll be back in a minute 32-point inspection going yeah, you know Don't buy the air filter. I don't need another stress test or anything. So the heart's looking good

So I got another 50 pounds I could put oh, yeah, you gave me a guy I took the governor off so I can go full Yeah, good stuff. What were you gonna say? I apologize. I rudely cut you off. It's okay Um, I a little bit of an etiquette not etiquette thing one of those weird gray areas that the show lives in a little bit What to do in the moment, right? Uh-huh last night I went out to dinner With my lady and we went to we went to a restaurant that a friend of Hers runs runs. Yeah, that could be a tricky situation So

And like I'm a very like rule kind of got like I want to know what I'm getting into and I fucked up I didn't bring cash because I had a feeling the bill was going to be waved a bit really maybe I didn't know I still showed up empty. I knew that was a possibility. I was running late. We got out of we got out of here late Can't stop at an ATM cash. I wasn't thinking I was trying to get there on time But if you needed a Snickers bar, you'd find one wouldn't you? He way man myself you're really our bar banana you believe that it's good stuff. Um, I might be making that up in my head so We get there I got I'm cashless We get there it's me the lady and he takes great care of us. It's a is he waiting on you

Yeah, it's a little bit of a team. What's he do? He's a manager. Yeah, he's running running the show The general manager just a floor manager that night general manager. I believe okay. Yeah. Okay calling the shots my understanding I mean everybody was going to him right everybody's kissing a ring. Okay, you know, I mean kissing the kiss in the onion ring If you if you will So my wife and his wife are friends they live in the building. Okay, right next door. They're they're friends So my wife had gone in there before and was like he gave us a pretty big discount like she went in with Her friend or what I don't even know whatever so I go. All right, cool I don't know so I'm figuring something, you know, I mean take off a couple round of drinks or the fucking appetizer

He had nine of them. So we can we get I can't look at easy. I'll have your second most expensive one I want the first as well, but I will also take the second And two buckets of beers Get some of this they go ice my knuckles down So he doesn't he he executed everything relatively personally what kind of joint what kind of food are we talking? I Don't know Italian no, they had pasta's burger like good bar food like good bar like proper good bar food Okay, it was one of those things where he's like you want to do appetizers. I go. Yeah, we were thinking I was looking fucking assholes

I was like I was looking at this first thing you do is insult me Hey, I got you like I was a guy. Let's see. Oh really kind of so he brings out smaller plates, but of multiple things What are we talking? Talking some octopus grilled octopus, which I'm not an octopus guy. This shit would blow your dick I'm a huge octopus guy. I'm just not doing it anymore. Uh-huh. They're too smart those tentacles. They're big fella. They're too smart Are they yeah, why that documentary? I don't know. They got to a hole He's the guy fucking. What are you doing? I just feel you know what else is smart cows chickens turkeys Gobble cliff cliff bars

But that is a pretty smart idea you don't got a problem fucking killed by the only squid all day They're the same thing. Yeah, can't do a guy to push anymore, but good you do you would have done a sock to push I'm telling you really. Yeah. Oh, I mean if it was a table How about I want to know we won't go back then he was already murder famous people go to this place, too Oh, really? Yeah, see anybody So my reflection No, he said actors a bunch of actors and stuff come in. Okay, they're right Broadway. So I it's a real small Small joint to understand. Yeah

So he comes he drops the apps apps are good some spinach artichoke dip some Baba to be bop Well, you know a couple of two tree things drinks are coming got the beers coming. They make me a cocktail as well Get a beer and a cocktail I had a beer And then they were talking about this cocktail because that can I say this I'm listening this might be a symptom of alcoholism, but I don't mind Multiple drinks a cocktail and a beer just having an IPA Yeah, I don't like doing that I pick my lane and I stay in my lane you on the other hand are what we call in the business a booze bay all over the road Yeah, did you go out to dinner with these guys? Let me I'll take a red wine an IPA. I do do that

I'll take a vodka dirty whatever I do do that like when we were at galleys We started out with an IPA at the bar state IPA's you stayed IPA's gentlemen Well, if I would have got to the table directly when I walked in I would have ordered my cocktail, but I was hemmed up What are you gonna do I made that reservation again you did yeah under your name ever done anything I'm talking about I'll make a walk around corner get your rebel you complain that it's warm I'll make that's life with you. I'll make it next time see if we get a little bit different treatment Gallipers in Milwaukee or something you're gonna do the wrong location. We'll walk into the through the kitchen We're closing that

Now yeah, I did a beer then you did then then the dirty martini Glass of red wine dirty underwear I Brought those myself and then I and then I espresso martini because you're all over the road. Yeah Yeah, all right. Watch out for this. I just just you're the only guy. I know that does that Huh, maybe like I don't know. I feel like I something European when I go out like my wife's family I feel a little do that you some the star change it up glass of wine with the meal sure then like a fucking You know something something whatever You are no European. No, I am not um

so Then we do everything everything's good. You want the dessert and now we got to get out of there We're going to kinky boots. We're going to a show. You got friends on brother friends in in kinky boots Look at you. Yeah, she's a social butterfly that one. Look at you. Not me. No, no I'd be on it a bed if it was possible with homes. That's where you brought a sandwich I'm fine. Thank you So now we're like running it's getting kind of time where you we got a fucking skedaddle, right? And there's no like I don't know how to ask for the I think asking for the check would be like

Over that, you know, I didn't I didn't know how to broach this subject. This is what we got to go This free or what? Yeah, am I paying for this or can I fucking go? Yeah, you need anything for this? What's the deal? So you didn't this is the question you're proposing. There's also good conversation But my anxiety is running of like, alright, man, we got you know, 20 minutes to get there. It's 12 minutes What like I'm like, I'm not everybody's hanging out having a good time and I'm kippy's being crazy. Well, Craig I'm gonna get out of here. I gotta get out of here. We didn't really need to I mean, yeah, whatever So I always gotta get out of there. No matter what fucking are always coming. I don't know what man's all I don't know what the next thing is, but let's get out there. Let's get outside

Figure it out get a heater. Get my fucking head on straight check my fucking six. Will you yeah? I'm always ready to go so We so I got the oh shit. I'd like oh shit. Oh, I gotta get out of here, right? It's 640 whatever So then he goes, uh, I just I fucked up. I should have had cash. He goes. Yeah, this is on me Because it's all all all clear So in my head, did you do that now? Don't do that. Come on. That's crazy Give him a little pushback. I don't even think so really. Yeah, I said at ease freeze some walking with some fucking lemon slices and shit You put these in a bag

Grab one of the waitresses. Let's go honey. She's with me That's bad. You got to give a little pushback if you're asking the advice. No, I think I counsel Uh, no, he's been inviting us for a long. I understand, but he's been inviting us for a long time I just I think I might have not harp. Oh, really. You didn't have to thank you. I appreciate but it's also like We've been in that where it's like to fake him in and home Just I thank you. You're doing a nice gesture. Thank you. I appreciate that But now it's time for you to do your nice, but now it's time for me to do my nice gesture But so you ain't got it. So my wife go I'll be like octopus

My wife was there. She's like, oh he charged us like half and then like we tipped it Well, she gave it discount. He goes, this is on me. So but like doesn't even present me a bill So I got nothing so I got no like I'm flying mega blind here and I got no cage Let's say the dinner was 150 bucks. So he goes Do you want I go shit? I was like, oh, I don't have any cash on me He goes, okay, so he charged me he goes if you want to leave don't leave anything to me He's like if you want to leave something to the guys to the guys Of course, you have to yeah. All right. All right. Easy does it. All right. Easy does it

Do you think there's a world where I didn't I don't know you're looking at yourself in the mirror? You're eating octopus. I don't know who you are going to kinky boots Got friends. It's crazy. There you go He goes, all right, so he so my wife's like so then he walks away, and I'm like telling my wife I'm like, hey, this is like the Super Bowl for me to figure out like I don't know what this is cost in the whole nine You know, I just want to make sure I do the right thing. You know what I mean? So she goes he gave us an itemized breakdown and just did like a like a Discount like if it was like a hundred bucks. He charged us

90 or whatever, you know what I mean, okay? Doesn't do that. I just get a bill for one dollar and nine cents He just charged like a dollar so I could tip so I'm still flying What's 12% of So I Don't know anything Right. I don't know. I gotta figure. I probably think I had two beers and a cocktail You had two beers and a cocktail. How many?

Cocktail was on them. They were talking about I was like, oh, that sounds cool. They're gonna make you one It was that it was like, you know because we're at the bar. Okay Two beers To bears, I would assume the thing would be on the cuff, but throw it. I mean, it's probably thrown it in there Now what how many appetizer there were small plates? There were small they don't call them they don't call them appetizing when they call them small plates are terrible to smaller plates to Do the math actually I can pull up the menu. We could do the math. Oh very good Well, don't tell me because I'm doing it. Okay. I'm doing it a little bit. All right

So I'm gonna say the two small plates were that you each got an entree Yes, what's the bird drinking one of her mocktails. He's doing a mocktail But again, it was more like hey, do you have something you can whip up for her? We had a liaison but charge one mocktail pull a mocktail. They might not have put those in I'm gonna say Okay, well, what was the entree was it was there a meat involved? She did fish. I did a burger She did they're they're known for their burgers. It's like the brand Xena a whole fish or filet filet with sides Some sort of puree it looked like came with it. Yeah on the plate on the plate side separate

No, and then a dessert. What are we looking at? Nothing for did nothing for days. You said there was dessert Said it came time to dessert. That's when I was like, I gotta he's like do you want no coffee espresso? No, no, no Espresso, no espresso. We're never do espresso. What do you put on a fucking American goddamn it? Give me a cup of you have an espresso. Give me a Starbucks. You have a you have coffee Whatever you gotta have something you have a you have a you have a after-dinner cocktail doing espresso You're only doing espresso with the cloaks out if you run out of Okay, do a little add in here 10 20

32 47 carry the 12 what's 47 and 15 Toby 63 63 68 98 98 and 25 You're asking yeah, what do you mean what I point to you 123, okay? All right, you got tax and title. This is very hard feeling by the way, but we'll get into it Okay, I'm not good at math only good at deleting episodes. I got a number I got a number I got a number what the meal should be and I also have a number on the inside of what you should have left

Okay, so we'll see how you do Give me one second here. Let me pull in your card here grab you by the ear and take you back to that restaurant Get you straightened out keep up with that butcher box, baby But your box butcher box who but your butcher box butcher box gang We love them and if it's if it's ever meat eating season it is right now Yeah, couple of birds couple of hands couple of baking. Yeah, let's go gang. Everybody's looking for Black Friday deals I'll tell you one that'll knock your socks off But your box, baby

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It's eating away. Yeah, talk to somebody about it and you can do that with better help. It's fast It's easy and you can do it from the privacy of your own home. Yeah guys I've had like I've always said talk therapy has helped a lot nuts What are you talking about? I've recently signed back up for better help. It's helped me out immensely You text back and forth you can send messages. That's pretty you thought leave respond It's not this thing of like oh, I'm crazy someone help me It's like this is what I'm feeling this is what I'm thinking help with the you know if you're in a jam Whatever, it's it's easy peasy. It's very convenient

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Okay, you added up everything you had added up everything I had okay my number came in at $140 I Have with that with tax and or with tax probably one for that came in at 127 Okay, straight off the menu straight off the menu 120 that all makes sense. All right, so 140 Mm-hmm, would you leave kept my keys? In a hurry your credit card What'd you leave? What would you have left? I wrote down a number here. This is what I would have now listen this is what I would have left because

The generosity of doing it a lot of times as a server When this situation would happen the dickhead who was friends wouldn't I'm not calling you a dickhead That seems like that's what you're doing. Is this about the warm red bull? I apologize I said I was sorry Bald dickhead Who's sitting next to me also my best friend? Well, you know that that happens the all my friends are coming in but but but you take really good care of What's on the arm and they fucking screw you or they tip you on the discounted price?

So but also we didn't really have a server. He kind of just quarterbacked everything It doesn't I know but I'm just saying it's not like we had a server and he was like take care of them But it okay, that's what I'm saying. It was we were at the bar and he was quarterbacked everything But you ate at the bar. Yeah, he didn't tell me that for sure mentioned that you ate at the bar That does change the number. I would leave. Where's the bartender at the he's in this car. What do you mean? He's at the bar you over the server is doing What do you mean? It must be a pool that was a small joint small joint. I told you that all right then yeah Then it still applies

Okay, the number on the inside is what but I didn't talk to anybody but him They brought bartender like do you need another drink? Okay, like I didn't I didn't talk to all that's what I'm saying I didn't have a waiter don't get like The menus were on the fucking scanner. He was just like what do you want? I recommend this. This is good This is bad like he just was that's tough, but still that's what I would have left And I would have cash on me too You're nuts Some of said can I say what my number and see this is not what you would have wait

In what world is that what you leave? That's what I would have left. I would have this is fully doing it's not I would have paid for the meal what I thought the meal was I would have paid. Can I tell you what I would have left? 150 whoa That's so crazy now, huh? I put eight grand This is bad Yeah, dude, you're a bozo Wait, I really misstep this hard. What did you leave Kevin? Well, it's fully's number

200 oh shit, that's kind of high that's 50 bucks higher than yours. Let's not start splitting ears here We got this guy on the ropes. What are you doing? Good point Dirt bag I left 50 bucks I'm lying I left 40 Oh Shit at least a hundo dude at least a hunt. You think yeah, I really I was I was that guys for the guys It was one time house. It was a goddamn Wednesday night. It was probably slow. That was packed. That's why we're at the bar Have a reservation yes, we supposed to be in a table. Yes

Oh, we got there and it wasn't ready. So I was just got the bars fine interesting Okay, you're still there. I'm not saying I'm not for sure which I Guess I don't know I guess it's 40 bucks. I don't know what I was thinking 40 bucks not cash I felt I felt and I walked out. I'm like, that's not great. I did the math. I did wrong math or something I think I calculated. I'm like, all right That would be 200 bucks and I left the tip 20% of being a scumbag My okay also to not my defense by any means I'm wrong here for sure I dropped the ball

But I won't tell you what I left the Gallagher's the other night at the same time I do think there is a little bit of a slight to that guy of like What guy I'm giving you $200 a slight to who to the to the manager. No, not at all not at all I don't know that I he's not when I wouldn't I wouldn't feel right Leaving $200. Well, how do you feel now? I feel fine about it. Okay. I don't think I did anything wrong. I Mean I I left the tip on a $200 bill. Listen, I'm not saying it was said. I'm not saying it was discussed

It a bald guy at the bar is never allowed back. Is that your buddy? It could have went a couple different ways. He might not even have saw it looked at it or asked the servers What he left? So I've had some owners that didn't give a shit about that. I've had other owners that would be like, you know What do you leave you? What do you leave you guys? I looked as a hundred? Oh, it's good. Let's say I was good You know, he left me 40. Well, he left you fucking 40. Jesus. You believe that guy? I don't really know him friends of his wife. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. I'm not talking about you It was in my building. I don't know. Yeah. All right. I I that's why I brought it up

I I knew I I had misstep a bit in that Huh, whoo talk about kinky boots. That is like I didn't tip them either Man, it's not embarrassing. It's all you left 20 bucks about it. I did leave 20 Did you really I asked for change. What'd you really leave 40 bucks 40 bucks? Did you hold on? I guess I live in Asia. Did you make the total 40 dollars? Yeah, I get it 4109. Okay. That would have been Yikes, I don't whatever at the bar 40 bucks. No harm. No foul Huh. Yeah, but you're also talking to two guys who like slugged it out in horrible restaurants

Yeah, so it's like I I want that server to be like I'm gonna make your fucking night A couple of guys who worked for a living. I'm staying. Yeah, feel those cows was busy getting high in kitchen I was working construction idiot. I wasn't getting high in the kitchen. I was getting high out back and I was getting drunk in the kitchen There we go drinking cooking wine. Oh been there before We're out of Marcellan's you cook it We're out of Marcellan's Foley's fault that stuff give you a hangover Alright, let's go. We got to get into it. This is a family episode gang as you know when you join me over the patreon over there We will answer your garbage question on a air. It's just the best way to do it working through them. Daddy. Oh

Let's see here This one's for miles brand new $10 homie never have on red you or anyone you're in your family ever framed a puzzle That's a bad look No, my family's ever done a puzzle. No, I remember my one family was a friend family friend We would go over and they would do puzzles like as if I would be on like the dining room table I'm like, what are you bozos don't have cable. What's happening here? You're all fucking the family matters is on Fucking was sitting around doing a puzzle of the fucking Empire State Building Which we tried to get my dad to do them was like a brain exercise

I think like last summer we were like fuck this eating them and stuff. Yeah, dude. It was brutal Yeah, I don't know. We're just not a puzzle fat. My mom's never been like, let's get you a puzzle checkers connect force I remember 3d puzzles got big they were at like Spencer's gifts or some hobby shop in the 90s And like I think we were like, oh, that'll be cool like somebody was like, oh cool And it was like a building like you know like a skyscraper and then like you know grass and a park or and I Mean it might have gotten like the sidewalk down and me and my brother were like fuck this. Yeah, let's go fun Let's steal dad's seeds

We would Lincoln logs we would play with Lincoln logs and Legos. Yeah, I mean, of course I'm an American at the end of the day. My dad was looking up We'd make a like a little Lincoln log fort and then we'd put a couple of GI Joe's in the windows You know, we get some tin foil roll it up into a ball and go back across the Living room and fucking get to shoot the guys in the windows. That's fun But like a kitty cat hanging off a tree beat it. Yeah And then like the proudness to be like, I'm gonna post this fucking Or whatever you lacquer it and put it up. I was always jealous of that shit though

That seems like an intelligent family that I know I know cuz my these kids that I live next to They had like a they'd like a like a there was almost like a den Well, like there was no TV in there was like a couch There was bookshelves and there was like like tables specifically for like Crafts and this and that man all that shit in there construction paper all that stuff And they would have like puzzles out that they were doing like multiple puzzles like man, you guys are You guys are good people We were fighting over the last chicken cutlet

Couple of animals not a lot of strange Yeah, man, that's a fucking it's a home run of a question I guess it's like it is I guess it is kind of intellectual to be like oh we do puzzles It's brain stimulating so frustrating though, but then the framing of it is the trashy It's like you're classy cuz you're bettering yourself. You're working on your brain You're not watching TV playing video games, but then it's like you're gonna hang up a puzzle like that's trash That's not art No pieces missing out of it and shit. I mean that was another thing they were never

The dog was eating home fuck it. You know, they were kind of everywhere Yeah, they would never get framed but my grandma would do them on a mat and then glue them to the mat and roll it up For what move them to the mat and roll it up for what? I don't know man store them Yeah, would you do them with them with her? No, no, no, no, no original NFT those things My name Mary Katherine is taking me to play bingo with her and the girls. That was a good time. I do that all day Yeah, gambling's way different than puzzles. All right Give me some action couple old broad chain smoking cigarettes, and I'm needy deep in root beer barrels. Let's go. Yeah That was a good time. All right, this one's from Devon

Are you garbage if you use a leaf blower to get your fire pit started? That's pretty smart Got a lot of likes in the in the old Patriot there, which I Guess you need the constant oxygen like we remember we were at the when we did the camp and we're sitting there fucking fanning it Poking it. I guess you hit that for 30 seconds a minute or whatever that'll fucking It's pretty good. That'll get it cooking fire pits are pretty classy. I think depends. Yeah Burning your trash not really you've anybody that burned leaves in your neighborhood. I don't think you were allowed in our neighborhood No, not the burn. I don't think you weren't ours either, but guy behind us played by his own rules And I'll tell you what it really brought in the fall man. It's not that you would smell the smell

Those leaves burning on a Sunday Remember some real class in the oven a little married with children on deck for later that night out the Kelly Let's go. That was her name, right? The daughter was Kelly. Yeah, I Remember there was some classy neighborhoods in my area that the township Everybody just pushed their leaves under the street like on it like they'd come and scoop it up They'd come and fucking suck them up with this huge vacuum. Yeah, I remember being like, what are you paying taxes? Crazy, dude for a long time I had to put them in those fucking brown bags and God forbid it rained before trash day

Dude, fuck so many turn into 78 pounds a clip That was a weekend in purgatory out there getting screamed at trying to get him in the and the technology Was not there yet. Well, it's like trying to go to the moon in a fucking convertible. It was not there yet And dude, we'd be getting yelled at we'd rip the bag with the metal rake and we Got a township and get them what are you doing, dude fucking sucked. It was tough I remember we used to do leaf piles jump out of the tree into the leaf pile. That was a good. Yeah, scare the shit out of the dog That's fucking great. Oh what you'd be hiding. Oh, yeah Hide in there. I know these there's like the bad kids in the neighborhood like collected every but like I don't know

They're walking around with tarps and fill them the tarp up and then dragging it. I used to love that We did that landscaping and would do it like on like so like dude It would be like something you would see like a stuntman jump out of into like one of those big pillows You know what I mean, and they'd be jumping on like 30 foot trees and shit. I remember being like nah I'll be on the deck if you need me Home run home run of a question there. Yeah This is was from Broja the Florida man putting an aftermarket backup camera on your car That's a bad look. Yeah, I think as

A guy who had a 96 Chevy Lumina as my first car when everybody else had cool fucking, you know We're like, where does it even go? What do we have a little receiver inside? Yeah, that's real Chinese insurance cam. Yeah, vibes Yeah, it's not good. Just putting a webcam on a tourist. That's what you're doing You're putting a webcam next to your license plate Because that's where it's got to be to like have any real depth perception and make sense. Yeah Yeah, it's dude when you try to make your car cooler than it is It's I mean, that's also for backing up because those things are great for backing up I know what's the screen looking like that's not in the dash. You know what I mean? That's like plugged into the cigarette lighter

That thing you need double a batteries for that or something that's what I'm saying Nothing aftermarket unless you're paying the money right to be like, hey, I'm gonna pay $5,000 to have the dash come off custom fit it the whole thing other if you're just doing it my ride Who the fuck's doing that? I'm just saying like people put shit in their car like well That's what I'm saying if it's not there where you're gonna put a TV in a car where there's not a screen Look, you got a 42 inch flat screen It's gonna look like shit. Yeah, that's right The people that do that don't have the money to do it right anything aftermarket is garbage

For the most part depends Depends. I mean you have a nice car and put aftermarket stuff on it. That makes sense. What what like some flames? We don't know if you're doing like perform it for speed or whatever some not more comfort Okay, there's different things you can add I'm sure okay The key I roll stock by the way just in case you're wondering stock no add-ons yours There's no options on that now option for some 12 year old to steal it with a fucking key fob No, we talked about that. I still have the key. They can't steal mine. Wow. It's only the ones with the remote start analog Yeah

T bills and analog cars. Hope you got a screwdriver on your pussy Otherwise she ain't going nowhere. Yeah, can't we tell you about latter? Let me tell you about doing the right thing and making sure your family's taking care of yeah Some things in life. You could kick down a road a little bit getting a haircut losing weight Whatever you were 200, but whatever. I don't know whatever you say But term life insurance is something that you should look into and something that you should do to take care of your family God forbid after you're gone and latter is a good place to go to do that. Yeah guys ladders 100% digital No doctors no needles no paperwork and you apply for three million in coverage or less

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La dder life comm slash garbage ladder life comm slash garbage Yeah, back to the show back to the show. Let's go can't establish titles. Oh, baby. Let's be neighbors Yeah, we love those established titles We call it a lord or lady yourself if you drop a little bit of cash and pick up some real estate over there in the Scottish Woodlands Yeah, get it on the ground floor. Let's go All you got to do is pick up one square foot of Scottish Woodlands and you yourself or your lady can be referred to as The wet to four. Yeah, that's how I speak down real to a real classy guy Next time I go through TSA. I'm gonna flex on like that's Lord kippy to you Kobe cup of tea. Let's go

Guys the first 200 people purchasing a title pack using our link will effectively be next to our plots within a few minutes Distance someone call that an empire. Let's start the army of garbage boots on the ground Land war Europe. What are you guys talking about? You guys know blacksmith? He makes a great last-minute gift for loved ones They even have couples packs that come into joining plots of land. It's like his and hers Daddy Oh, I officially changed your name to Lord or lady and you can use the name on your credit card playing tickets at some class to your dating Profile. There you go. Get your little little wee wee wet It makes an amazing last-minute gift to establish titles is running a black Friday sale

Plus if you use the code garbage will get an additional 10% off go to establish titles comm slash garbage to get your gifts now and help Support the channel do it. Yeah All right, this one's from Peter schnitzel don't think that's his government name Is it garbage if your buddy is showing you around his new place with his wife and refers to their bed as the old workbench? I Buddy I'm doing that just got stolen if you don't walk into a couple's bedroom when they're giving it to her and say That's where it all goes down, huh? It's where the magic Everybody on MTV cribs used to say used to annoy the shit out of me. Yeah, fuck you get a new writer do something

You know that wasn't even their houses most of the time Fucking crazy on this season who a friend of ours. I texted her Whitney Whitney coming Like are you on MTV crib? She's like, yeah, why are you watching MTV? Like catfish If he likes a catfish out the knee I like the drama. Yeah, oh I do. I don't even like to see I Don't even like the interaction once they find the person. I just like the proceed like I love law and order

I just like to found footage look get some fucking cameras in there. We it's all them on their cell phone It's good feel bad for the people too Man, that's a problem in this good. I mean, it's Everybody thinks they get some hot chicks not me. It's I know what catfish is but this girl loves me It's like it's so hot. We've been dating for eight years. I've never seen a picture. Yeah, I show up. It's going on. Yeah Stop It's a crazy place This is from Tyler first time as a garbage if your family says coinkie dink instead of coincidence

My neighbor did that growing up. I heard I remember here and he goes, that's a coinkie dink I was like, I'll be having dinner in my house Real coinkie dink. No, we didn't say that. Yeah, that's a tough one. Did you say pediddle? You know what a pediddle is? That's the guy you say away from on your block It's a guy who gets handsy. What are you talking about? Guys wants to play doctor with you Hey come over see doctor pediddle. It's time for your weekly checkup when your parents are going get molested in Florida No, we said pediddle when a car was coming the other way that had one headlight. You'd say pediddle and touch the roof of the car

No, no, we didn't have any weird stuff like that. That's how I'm crazy Left $40. There was a thing. I Left $35 Man That's really gonna bother me. It should I Don't know though. She go over there after the show What the tip should have been that was the math I did on my head I'm not saying it was right math, but that was the math I did on my head

You covered the tip at least if it was a $200 bill. It was still a nice day It wasn't a $200 bill though. I'm not saying it was I'm saying the math in my head I go All right, it's probably but also those appetizers weren't full appetizers at the same time. They weren't they were off the menu No, but he didn't give us like full portions. I don't think really just like what do you want? I'll bring out some stuff and it was just like tasting kind of hmm Did you see those appetizers in those same dishes at any other tables? Maybe that's how they do it I didn't look at any other small now. They were it was It didn't feel like I know an appetizer. Will you give me that? I was in the room. I know an appetizer

You know an appetizer. I was like, oh, he's these are just like he I'll give you I'll get he's like I'll bring some stuff out It was just like okay, okay I left 20 bucks. What do you want 15 bucks? Paddle it's a thing. Yeah, it started in the 1940s as a as a game. You were you're like, what 20? For for kids who were driving around neck and yeah, so if you saw if you saw a car with a whole van's buff Yeah, exactly. If you saw a car with one headlight out you'd say Paddle and the other person in the car had to give you a smooch. Oh I know what I'm doing on the next road trip. It did. Oh boys Oh

Atlanta to Charlotte's gonna be interesting We didn't have any weird stuff like that the punch buggy obviously That was a thing Holding your breath at a cemetery was big for like a summer man To hold your breath because it was like disrespectful or something wonder where you're no cuz you would die That's what we were told. I remember I remember my mother telling me that when I was Six try a cup of decaps really Jesus Christ this one up enough that you had to bless yourself when you go by a church otherwise

Straight the hell I used to take the bus with all the Dominicans all the Dominican women in the Heights had to work in the morning And I would I you could feel what I'd be looking at my phone You could feel when you pass a church because everybody on the beat feel everybody's hands go up and bless them So everybody Alright, let's see here. This is from Nick Long time ten dollar home and never have one red is a garbage to put the remaining salad dressing from your bowl back Into the jar to save for later. Oh Dude, what the fuck hit me up. I'll Venmo you five bucks for more crazy

That's cuz that's like mix like that's she's in there Lettuce that becomes a different thing then went in there, which can I say this? I know I'm a fat piece of shit Hey, that is my favorite part of the salad when you get down to that nitty gritty on the bottom and everything's all Chopped up and mixed together I like a nice Relatively dry moist fresh leaf at the top really couple pieces of chicken. Yeah, I like it all mixed in that's why the first time I had taco salad. I was blown away. That's just a taco. What are you talking?

I mean the fact they call that salad is egregious and I'll never forget the first time I had three salads today First time I had it was a Friday night eating over my friend's house. So what do we have it herbs? Mom was like, I'm making taco salad. I was like taco salad Dude pulled out a fucking heavy bike jar of fucking hidden Valley Ranch On the table fucking ground beef shredded cheese tomatoes on We this might have been a southern thing, but did you boys grow up with Jello salad? No, yeah with like like banana in it not always some mostly just different color Jellos

Yeah, I've been there that didn't make any we were Jellos No, there was a there was a weird phase with Jellos where they started doing college I was drunk. It was the 90s. They started making Jellos that like Could stand on its own like they would you could make Like letters out of it or something that's all I remembered you that was the marketing campaign for me was the letters and this like You know, there was like Jello cutters. You would like cut No, but they like changed the they did something they changed the formula. We put we put bananas in it There's such a boost waiting that out was brutal

You know wait for dessert till like fucking 10 o'clock at night fucking. What are we doing here putting to a lot of times I just went in early So the instant stuff hit the market now, we never fuck with any of the first time I did job the consistency It was Jello letters. Yeah Jello letters, but they sold them pre-made I thought I Don't know her I Don't remember All right, this one's from Jackson Never have one read at the tax man asks. I'm a $500 homie and this is a charitable organization

Shout out to him. Is it garbage if I popcorn at a movie theater without going to a movie and then leave and eat it at home Yeah Hear me out. I when I first read this I was like that's kind of trashy, but then like I Think of in the city and you're like, oh, we're gonna go what if it's movie night? And you live close to like an AMC and you're like, oh, this will be a fun kitschy way to like Heighten you got to pay for the ticket though, right? Can you say hey, I'm just gonna run and grab popcorn. I'm sure probably you think so out of some places. I don't know I can see I can see you know what I mean like oh

Let's have like let's make tonight a little goofy and fun And we'll you know, we'll have wine and we'll get you dots and we're you know snow caps or whatever We'll make a thing out of sure that That could be cool to me But if you're just like eating it at home watching Sports Center, that's a little wonky Yeah, also the prices on that. What are you doing? Call a Boreville Redenbach? Oh shit That's a dollar clip get the movie popcorn microwave that put real butter on it. Man It's nice. I remember you can get the convenience stuff delivered now

You can get the popcorn soft pretzels for like movie nights probably right? Yeah, I'm like Uber eats Yeah, they take it from the movie theater. Correct. Yeah, I don't trust that at all. I don't trust those kids I'm watching every step they make. Are you kidding me? Yeah, you're getting this shit from the bottom. No, I want the fresh stuff I want to see the kettle get what you don't treat you don't trust the Uber eats people or the The kids at the movie theater I don't trust Uber eats. I want it. Oh, I don't trust them as far as I can throw them. I don't fuck with Uber eats See, I'll never order like a fountain soda because it's just like that guy could just I just picture him taking his

Taking the lid off and putting his fingers They do I would I would I get it You don't think I'm not taking a couple of fries Especially like it held up in traffic. What I just think if I thought of the way If I thought of it, someone's doing it Yeah, I thought you were gonna say sip. No He doesn't He gets nothing out of it, but just the fact sure I'm drinking his finger juice

He gets a man who used to deliver doordash for a living Yeah, dude, you got easy access to the food a couple years ago I got a delivery and this the drink had the straw in it I'm not doing that Like that at all. I'll put my own straw I'll put my own fingers in my son and they never have ice It's they give you like a lukewarm thing without he's hate that dude. It's crazy. Give me the ice Because I tape it or she put like a safety seal. So, you know, it's been breached

We've talked about that a lot of people fucking they bitch about no ice They're they don't want to they're not too much ice because they think they're getting more all you farted. I did not somebody did no Killing them. We have a good vibe here. He's farted Okay, guys, it's all right. Okay, move on You farted you did you did I smell it I did not Okay, okay, okay, okay, maybe like five minutes ago What is it the fucking jet stream it would have got to you by then But you did far while this show has been I have farted before. Okay. All right

Just immediate lying you can tell when you know like a deer in the headlights when you get called out Also, well, I know it wasn't me and there's no way it made it to from Toby to me without passing you could be No, he's got a fucking heat seeker on that thing. Oh, okay I'm all right. Let's see here In the same vein. This is from luxurious Lenny We've done this in a live show before are you garbage? Are you a garbage parent or are you garbage if you order hamburgers at McDonald's and To save the 10 cents you put the cheese on at home

Remember we I think I was in Pittsburgh. Yeah, we had a question like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I Mean what yes, that's crazy. Yes, the the amount of work that goes into that We gave that I shit for it too, but he wasn't doing it in the car. He brought his own cheese in the car with them I Forget the application of that. Yeah, I forget how he did it. That is correct. He brought his own cheese and it was Vegas I believe No, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's Pittsburgh. I think that guy didn't know I was shitting on him And he did not his wife submitted it and he was like I was like Steve's like, yeah, I was like, okay

I Would have whooped my ass. Yeah That That's yeah, it's crazy. That's what are you doing 10 saying how many times do you eat where that moves the needle? You can say 10 cents somewhere else is what I'm saying Throw your car a neutral going down a hill or something and I'm too fat because they have the bet that their cheese is gonna be better Than any cheese that I have that McDonald's yellow cheese. I don't know what they put in that shit Oh, that's something else. Yeah, I don't know got me thinking now McDonald's no arts

All right, this one's from Erin ever get a cart and a cigarettes as a Christmas gift No Growing up a kid did a Friend of mine did and he's no longer with us if that is it says anything Any smokes left Hey, if a bag yikes. Yeah, to me. That's why we were under 16. We were under 18 at the time got it from his parents Yeah, it'd be what they'd be like kitschy if you're like, oh, I got you. I got you a carton of smokes You smoke the heaters. You know what? You know why the parents probably did that. I'm sick of you smoking mine

No, they didn't even smell. I remember they got they didn't smoke. They got them sigs and condoms at 16 I was like, dude, who were your parents the Rolling Stones? What is this? I Live with a guy who ordered cartons of cigarettes off the dark web Yikes paid for it in Bitcoin. Why probably would have been like a bajillion dollars by now I'm buying drugs and Bitcoin back in the day to regular cigarettes. No, they were like Cambodian camels Remember camels with a K Camel red camel reds with a K. My brother was smoking them back in the day with a same company. No, it's a different I feel like I've taught I've done this with like a million people. That's crazy camels with a K

They were good You can only buy them in certain certain gas stations and fill certain markets. They weren't like knockoffs though They were good good heaters, huh? Camels what you said you smoked them What's with a K? Oh, I'm familiar. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I don't know where they came from or what I don't know What was what but that it was like janky because the logo was similar, but it was also a camel Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Somebody had to buy somebody out

RJ Reynolds Yeah There was I mean, there is something where it's like, you know, there's a breakdown of it somewhere because I've looked before My T bones doing it. Let's not do a couple more here This is from RWM are you garbage if you prefer booths over tables at a restaurant, how does the bar factor in this is very in our Wheelhouse is very in our wheelhouse Most booths I can't fit in. Yeah, but We were always table people

Really? Yeah, we were always a booth a booth even get a booth man Maybe we were we were all we were a big booth family if there was a boo smoking booth For sure corner booth. Oh, that's clean living. So I feel like a fucking good fellow. What are you talking about? We were also a huge guy like me and if it was the smoking section people I Believe at a time. Yeah, I remember having like hop in run into like fucking gear rows or whatever and be like, hey Yeah, how long is the wait for for smoking and then I've run back out and be like, yeah, we'll see this right away Crazy, man. Just ripping a heater at the table multiple heats

We'll play with the ashtray. I know Eat the what the fuck was off the crossword puzzle in two minutes. What else could be a smoke? What do you got the bone? It's made by the same company. It's made by RJ Reynolds who owns camel So we're like real camel cigarettes. Yeah, they they shelved it after for 60 years in 1936 and then brought it back in the mid-90s But that's insane. That would be like if coke released coke with the K. It's all money Yeah, but it's also just they don't give a shit brand deviation. It's like, oh, they'll try these. These are quiz or kitschy It's different. I smoke camels with the K. We're talking about giving them free. Yeah, we're smoking things that check Reynolds

Consuming things that kill you. What do you mean? They think we're idiots Got us by the balls. You ain't lying. Um The smoking section thing I go I think to me I think booths are Better, I don't know if they're classy or necessarily. I feel a table would be clear. I just only people behind me I think a booth would be the more sought-out of the of the two booth or a table. Yeah You got a little cubby you got your stuff over here You never really hear a table if you have it you hear a booth if you have it Yeah, they're more cozy better environment better. It creates a better you're in your own little hub over there

Any of you can get God if you're in the middle of the restaurant at a wide open table But if you were in there with just your dad or your uncle or you and your brother or something like that There was no birds at the at the go to the counter was all right Counting it falling a man. I don't know if we were ever really Huge, I mean when I was if I was with my dad and he was we were drinking he was drinking I was at the bar for sure like gives him a coke. Yeah Yeah, coke in the fucking your finest chicken fingers and french fries shut him up for a minute Zip it up zing. Give me fucking ten bucks. Let's go play golden tea or something

Go play erotic photo That was all right, that wasn't too shabby spin around get your little privacy Over there in the corner All right, let's do one more name. We got a rapper up there. Let's do two more two more. I apologize This is from coal shawl or kale shawl. I can't tell $10 investor. Do you open stuff with your teeth? Yes? Yes, I do. Yeah. Yeah. Yes, I do. I'm not like cray. I don't open Fucking beer bottle. Are you stopping fucking cores like can't I I would do that to open the can what?

Yeah, no, I'm talking about your finger under there Now I'm talking about like a bag or like a like an alcohol wipe or something like that That's a good time. Yeah, one of those title that now the perforated edges or edges are a little better But so yeah, sometimes they do yeah now they back in the day They would miss the cut that wouldn't be there. So you really had to fuck her Get it going. Yeah, a lot of stuff you could pick your teeth with that too once you get that time Good times and this is from $10 hoagie shout out That's a home run

This is Is it garbage to eat your chips and salsa straight from the jar instead of pouring the poured into a bowl like a gentleman? It is now is it here's my thing on that. I feel like it changes you have a head It's not it's not as good. Yes, exactly, but I don't know why we're talking restaurant style chips That could jam me up with trying to get it in there Me you gotta you gotta crack it then for it gets wonky usually scoops are all right or the little fucking silver dollar Jones, those are my favorite a little scoops are nice But the fucking little little soccer Julia coins

All day long perfect service here at a rigid whole nine. Here's the thing. What's the thing? You got till it's halfway empty Yeah, then you're doing this you're doing this deal. Yeah fresh jar nothing better fresh fresh jar until it's a half a jar Then you put in a bowl, but then it's all done too. You're like I'm finishing this Unless it's also some saucer con queso you put that in a bowl throw it in a microwave 15 seconds come out Little place called heaven South of the border, baby. Let's go talking to me. We gotta wrap her up gang gang We love you to death. Thank you so much

We got a thing to report might be a couple tickets left for the shows check out the live shows Wrapping it up here the wrapping it up. We're coming down wrapping up Providence in Boston Providence in Boston. Yeah guys. We fucking love you. Thanks for the support See you next time. Peace