Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - The Venmo Scam! w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Episode Date: May 21, 2026

Are You Garbage is back with Kevin Ryan and H. Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. It's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! NEW AYG MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ AYG 2026 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored By: Blueprint: For a limited time only, our listeners get 20% off + free shipping at https://blueprint.bryanjohnson.com by using code GARBAGE at checkout. Ultra: Don't sleep on @ultrapouches. New customers get 15% Off with code GARBAGE at https://takeultra.com! Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Gang, let me tell you, Portland, Maine, Cleveland, Ohio, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, the boys are coming. We're coming heavy. Grab the squad. Come play to L.A.Y.G. Let's have a fantastic time. Yeah, if you haven't been to a live show, they're absolutely a great time. Ask any of the homies or the bozos. Vet us.

We're also going to be at the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in Atlantic City, July 10th, get your tickets. That's going to sell out. Shout out to Down the Shore. And then the Comedy Works. We're doing a weekend at the Comedy Works in Denver, Colorado, July 16th to the 18. Get your tickets. We love you. See you there.

Hey, everybody out there. And welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is R.U. Gurbidge. You ain't one. It's that little show. We sit down with your favorite comedians. And we find that you're to be classy.

Or if they're just a big old piece of trash. Yes, I am your host, Tad Trulli, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tootis and In Due Edition. She's upstairs. playing with Flex seal. Okay. Got an old case of it. Said she wants to make a boat just out of flex.

That's good. No frame or nothing. Uh-huh. What? That's great. You son of a bitch. Okay. All right.

That one's, it feels like someone's been huffing that. I was going to go with the Ice Man that she was upstairs listening to Drake. Ice Man's out. Uh-huh. But I said, no. Take a swing. Make them laugh.

Do it right back in my face, didn't you? You're crazy. Flex seal. You just. That's just funny. With me and Diesel were just talking about drywall patches. That's where you got that. No, it's not.

I'll tell you something about that. I invented that 15 years ago. I used to put a piece of loose leaf over the holes in the walls and then paint it over. That's old shit. Okay. My co-s is coming out of you from across the tables. We call a family episode. Just the boys, the bozos and the homies.

Just the way we like it. Yeah. Kind of. Kevin James Ryan, everybody. Get used to again. We got a lot of families coming up. What up, gang? Shout out to you.

As always, please make sure you rate me, view, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. Full video available over there on Spotify and a boy you're climbing over a good charts, baby.

Then obviously the greatest website of all time, www. www. www. com slash are you garbage. You can go over there. You get all your bonus freaking content. Some of you might not know what Patreon is.

It's a goddamn app you can download. You can use the browser. You can watch the video. You can do anything you friggin' want over there. It's a goddamn app. Well, I don't, I've never, I don't, I've never even, Or a website. That's why I'm, I'm a website guy.

Do you ever like, I mean, I do this with Luke of like, I'll be, you, I'll be doing stuff and then not realize I've been doing it wrong a lot of, you know, it's just like how I learned it or whatever. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. Yeah. I don't know. It works. He used the word sell the other day.

That freaked me out. Yeah. I've never had a laptop. You ever hear of Excel? Excel? Yeah. Like Excel and something? No, Excel.

Spreadsheets. Yeah. Cells in Excel. Huh? Excel. Cell. What? What are you fucking with me?

Well, what do you mean? I'm saying the words, you're like he used the word sell. Sell like C-E-L. Yeah. A lot of else. I'll pack your adjectives over there. Hold on. I never had a lot.

I don't think we started. Why is it so hot in here? You're hot? I mean. I never had a laptop. And then the phone got fucked up. I had to go to the fucking. You ever see what Instagram looks like on a laptop?

Whoa. No, I can't say how. I saw that a couple weeks ago. Whoa, a fucking big month for you. It's all Instagram on the fucking desktop. Freaky. Can't do shit on there. You can send messages.

I'm sure you figured that out. You can't share nothing. Uh-huh. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, they want you on a phone. Is that what they do? They want you on the phone? Yeah.

Huh. Or mobile tablet. What I called? That tablet. A tablet. You're on your mobile. No, it's not a mobile tab. It doesn't have wheels on it.

Fucking bozo. I mean, you're six kinds of stupid. That's not nice. It's true. Sometimes the truth are... What's that from? Jackie Moon. Maybe she didn't go to heaven.

What? Sometimes the truth are jack. I wanted to get into something. I was a little... I briefly ran this by you. You know, we didn't have a chance to debrief the sitch. But we were out there in La La La, La, land a couple of weeks ago.

Yeah, that's right. And I found myself in quite a predicament of a guy of my caliber typically isn't in. Huh. I had gone out. I had left the house. Yeah. I didn't have my wallet on me. I just had my phone.

Oh, yeah. I wanted to make about this? Oh, you didn't hear about. Okay, so Luke didn't hear about this. Right, because Luke wasn't there. Talk about. Lunching it. I, and we just never, like, you were just like, that's crazy.

I'm sitting next to the smog strangling. Fucking freak. I leave the house. I'm just, I'm in what I slept in, essentially. I slept in that t-shirt and a pair of undies. I put a pair of shorts on. You got to come real correct to do this. Right.

And I just wasn't correct. I think I had shoes on with no socks. I like left the house. Yeah, just, but like I didn't look. My best isn't great. My best is this. But you don't look deranged. No, by no means deranged.

But, like, it was the T-shirt. Homely. Sure. I just wasn't my best version of my... Little sleep. And I'm at a gas station, and I was on the phone with somebody. I was walking to the gas station. A pay phone?

I'm asking for a record. Now I... This is what I realized. I didn't for, like, I was on the phone with somebody for, like, 15 minutes out front of the gas station. And now I just look like a gas station guy. You were trashed me. I was. No, no.

Not trashing. We were discussing some of your behavior, for sure. You were this person on the phone. Yeah. You know who it was? I assume it was your wife. It was not. Your brother?

No. My brother. No. What? My dad. You got a phone to heaven. Maybe you didn't make it to heaven. Oh, you say that.

It was someone who just left the house. Oh, Mr. Chamberlain. Yeah. I got to go. What was that all? I always call him for a yes man when you need him. He called me. Awesome.

You're the only guy who acts like a complete insane person And it's like, oh yeah, you need a yes man if I can throw it on me I love you big guy Yeah Um Shut out to that con chain Uh So I'm on the phone

I'm out I'm hanging out of the gas station for 15 minutes on a phone call Right And I go in Suspicious I did I just I for sure looked like a guy hanging out of it Which I would have to guess that phone call at time

might have been slightly animated. Yes. Honestly, I wasn't that upset, but it was, yeah, I wasn't, you know, we weren't, there was a lot of, I looked like a fucking guy who would you, I looked like, did you ever see an episode of cops when they pull up in the guys up front of the gas station? Yeah. Who is it? It's him.

It's clearly him. That guy's got no car. He had gas station, no car. The fuck you're doing. For sure. I'm just at the gas station. I'm on the phone. I go in.

I want to make a purchase. I don't have, all as I have is my phone, which I'm going to do Apple pay. And it said cash only, right? So I go in, the inside of the store is as big as this table, right? It's literally, you walk in, there's one center stand, not even an aisle, just a center stand, one refrigerator. So I go around, there's a, I go, maybe I can tap to pay an ATM machine. Like, I don't know if they have those. When you said that, I thought that was genius.

I wonder if they have that. I'm sure they do. This was one of those old ones that you've seen that says like cash bank at the top. You know what I mean? It's the old big gray plastic. This thing's barely digital. And I would imagine this establishment doesn't have five-star customer service. It does not.

I'm talking about four inches of bulletproof glass. If that's five-star, then, you know, I'm just probably, this stuff was rated for a fucking AK, dude. You're in a bad part of town. I look, yeah. So I get in there. There's a guy in a sweater vest. I believe going to or from church. right

Sunday morning which I had just been to Mass did not help and I'm the crazy one so I get there so then I go this is a long shot but the guy's getting a bunch of 20s

out of the machine and he clocks me clocking him of course you're deranged I'm like you're just sitting here looking at it like it slices of turkey coming out of You got to think of what he sees. He pulls up, I'm in the parking lot.

Talking on the phone. Over by the dumpster. Right. You know what I mean? Got it black and mild in your hand. I told this fat motherfucker. Yeah, so I don't think that he, so he sees that. He sees me for what I am on the true.

You know what I mean? Yeah. He's got like x-ray glasses. He's like, who is this guy? This guy belongs. at a gas station hanging out. So I go, hey, man, I lead. I lead.

Now my idea is I got Venmo. I got, you know, I got digital currency. Right? How do the Indian guys get you? Right, so I go, hey, man. Hold on. Has he completed his transaction, or is the money still coming out?

I would say the money, there's a lot of 20s. And now I look, dude, I just. What's he doing? He's nervous that I'm. behind them for sure. No, what's he getting 20s? I don't know.

I think he needed to take out because it was cash only. The machine was down. So he needed cash and maybe he was getting gas. I don't know. I don't know what he was doing, but he had money.

What kind of work you'd do? You're hiring by any chance? So I go, hey, you know, this sounds crazy. Waiter. Stop. Right.

Listen, I've opened a conversation. with that it usually ends right there uh-huh it sounds crazy because it is crazy well so what all right so then we let's workshop this to come up with the best pitch what i go hey man i know this sounds crazy they're not taking cash or they's cash only as you know we're in the same you put yourself in the same problem with him you know what you mean your hands moving like that too yeah you just look crazy saying that This guy's not taking cash. I'm on speaker phone, though.

Do you know Foley? He's crazy. My buddy's crazy. You should get a looted. You think I look bad. You should get a load of him. I stink, dude. It'd be funny if I walked in dressed at a nines.

That's a sin these days, isn't it? Get your hands open. Henry, it's me. Give me 20. Trying to get a pack of heater. Officer, I don't know this, man. So I go, hey man, I know it sounds great. Can I Venmo you for 20 bucks?

First of all, you told me this. That's got to be, I'll give you 40 for 20. You got to sweeten that. You're trying to come with a 50-50, no exchange rate deal? You're nuts. I see what you're saying, but hold on. I think, so let me just, I think the 40 sounds too scamming. That's like fucking.

You know, that's like my dog ate my homework. No one's buying that. That's as old as time. If the guy was dressed like Kippy, I would say lead with that. But he seems like an upstanding citizen. You want to make this seem like a square deal. Yeah, if he needed, he got, he don't need the 20s. He got hundreds of 20s in front of him.

He don't need it. That guy's flush with cash. Nice sweater? Yeah, what the fuck? So. I just realized too afterwards. There's a bad showing for the kid. It's like a shit in the middle of the park.

Start sipping gas If you If you swallow it quick, it doesn't hurt you I So I ask him And he goes And as I saw I wasn't getting a yeah I said buddy feel free

I know it sounds crazy Feel free to say no And he went Nah I went Dip dip Feel free to say no I'm not gonna hurt you or nothing

Kill your family I'm not gonna hurt you physically I said feel free say no, he goes, no, no, no, at that point, I'm, I was, okay. But did you feel like you had made some connection as a human? Like, yeah, I would. I just can't do it.

Or was he like, this guy's, wow. He was nervous. I had made this guy because he didn't say real word. You know, I, yeah. Oh, I've been there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I hate that. So I get it.

I'm, you know, I essentially cornered him. I, like, I'm not really, but like in real life, I walked into a small vestib, but you and cornered the guy. Stop hunting like Nesferatu. When you tell us. Then I had him. That's where I got you right where I want you. So then I go, hey, no worries.

And I leave. And then right. That's cool. Don't worry about it. Right across the street, there was like another convenience store. So I went, okay. So you spread it over there. So now the guy sees me.

So I get my stuff. And now I'm crossing that big. I'm crossing like fair. I'm crossing like a big street. And the guy. Hold on. But in his head for a second, he saw you, it didn't work here. to run across see if anybody else is in the 8 p.m.

Uh-huh. And at the whole, he's watching me. And then I'm crossing the street and he's at the light. And I see him looking at his boy who's in the car. And they're giving me like the don't make eye contact. Wait, had you gotten your heaters over it? Yeah, over. Yeah.

And now I'm crossing. But I don't, it's not like I'm carrying a bag of groceries. I would have got a soda or something to show. See, fuck face. I got money. And I'm walking out and he's doing the like the, like they had talked about me. Sure. Before they saw me again, and he gave the don't, there he is, don't look at him, guy.

Welcome to my daily life. Well, yeah, I empathize with you, my friend. But what's, okay, I was jammed up due to circumstance. What is that pitch? I don't. It's tough. It's a hard pitch. The 8.m. 20206, bad neighborhood in L.A., you're not getting.

What, what are you looking at? No, I'm just scratching my face. Freak? Yeah, I'm the freak. I'm the freak. I'm the nervous one. Yeah, that, I don't know. Luke, what would someone have to say to you as you're, you know,

you've never been on the wrong side. You've never been down and out of the wrong side of the track. You have and one shorts on. You're trying to scam me. They're wearing one short. It might have been a bathing suit. They weren't good shorts. They might have been, they might have been North Face shorts.

A little grease on your knuckles. Yeah. Or stealing carburetors all night. I'm trying to sell a catalytic converter. Somebody. in his generation of his astute, they're not fucking getting involved with that at all. Scamming's so big right now too.

I know, but what's the scam to him? I pay with someone else's credit card. If it goes through to his Venmo, they can do that where it looks like it went through but didn't go through. Now, I was going to go, if he was on the fence about it, I was going to go, also, sir,

I'm a pretty prominent comedy, comedy and podcaster. I didn't. If I could have got him over the edge, I would have pulled out. You know Tim Dillon? Are you Tim? No,

I'm not Tim Dynne. That would have helped. That would have been like, dude, here's my Instagram page. But then you're crazy. Not there. As the guy in the sweater

getting 20s out of the ATM. What that guy doing in a bad part of town anyway? That's what I'm saying. Give me a regular. Give me a guy from that part of town. But I definitely don't want to be a part of your world. Sure. I get that.

Stop a buy for gas and a sweet treat. You know all these said, I'm just going to always be a dirtbag. I can't. I couldn't believe that story. I hold it together, but every couple of months, I break and it's just like, that's not that crazy to me.

But I realize that's what a gas station guy says. In a different setting, you do that in a burbs, something like that. Hey, I'm sorry. I don't know. I don't know if my dad, my dad might give you a 10. I just, they people are just their radar is so up. They don't realize how you're screwing them, but they know you are. I understand that.

Right. But is I 100% but isn't, don't I get some leeway with cash only? Like you got to give me like I pulled over it. We're in a digital currency world and you're operating in a cash only. Like you got to give me some sort of leeway there of like, right? All right. All right. I don't know.

Maybe you're hanging out there all day. I know. Maybe I realize it's cash only go, I can pull my scam. here all day long. What the guy behind the counter say? Oh, he had bigger problems. Huh. He didn't.

That didn't cross his radar. You also didn't set yourself up for success. I did it. I've done that dude. He's such a fucking rich kid. You didn't practice the Dempsey three Ds to success. Dedication. You got to sing.

Determination. Tell a joke. Something. And digital currency. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. What?

Right in. Let me know. I know. I know. I know I misplayed that 100%, but I don't know how to play it. He walked the fuck back to the house and get your wallet. That's crazy. Yeah.

Well, no, I just went to the next door. There was a couple blocks away. Oh, yeah, there you go. Yeah, keep it moving. But it didn't, I also didn't know that part of town. I didn't know what direction. I was just, you know. Mr. International businessman, huh?

Man. That's how you got to move, Daddy. I got to keep them guessing at all times. Okay. Guessing. Keep them guessing. Kevin's talking about Blueprint. Blueprint.

Now listen, we're both getting older. Sure. We both want to live as long as we can. Uh-huh. There's a lot of supplements and things like that out on the market. Yes. And I'm not the most educated man. Uh-uh.

When I go looking around, shopping around, I don't really know what I'm looking for. And sometimes when I Google something and I look it up, I get more confused. Sure. But then something like Blueprint comes across. Uh-huh. That's very self-explanatory. Yes. You know exactly what you're getting into.

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Yes. It's got ingredients like magnesium, glycine, creatine, and more. Blueprint is third party tested for purity and toxins like heavy metals, which are very bad. No good. Learning all this new stuff. Listen, I've started my, I'm trying to age more gracefully and put myself in a bit. better position. I've talked about it on the show. And if you know, the founder, Brian Johnson, he's been a very public figure. If you spend on any time online, you've seen them. The guy is basically

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We got a gosh darn family episode on our hands, guys. As you know, when you join the old Patreon, we'll answer your garbage question on the air, baby. 15,000 strong. Doggy, and just dropped that video over there. Paintball video. Also, the boys are on tour. Get your tickets.

We're coming to Portland, Maine. Small Club, Docha, two shows. Can not wait for this. Two or three shows are already sold out over there. Then we're going to Cleveland for the weekend. Weekend shows. All of Ohio get the, we're not coming back to Ohio this year. That's the Ohio shows.

Get them tickets. Well, people, I mean, Ohio's small. And they're like, can you come to Toledo and Dayton? It's like, Cleveland's the best we can do. That's right. Right. Solarities. Yeah, shout out to hilarity.

Yeah. And then we have Denver as well. Denver Commodore. Those shows are going to fucking sell out. So get those tickets. At Atlantic City, the boys are going down a frigging shirt. Cavs just moved to the next round of the playoffs. Uh-huh.

Playing the Knicks. Very nice. Pretty heated. Catch a games. This has been NBA Corner with H. Foley. All right. Let's see here. Now to Luke would be the finance guy.

Oh, it would be. Sell. I was the market doing, Luke. Do you know off top of your head? It's actually, it's pretty good right now. Bitcoin's up. I know that much. My boy's back.

How you doing? Wait till that number. Should have showed the guy? Wait till that number comes in. I'm fucking putting in my walking papers. Once that hits a thousand, I'm out. Should have showed that guy. My Coinbase account.

Yeah. That can be all fabricated nowadays with AI. Sure it is. All right, let's see here. This one's from Johnny Clamps. Great name. I don't know what it means, but great fucking name. I love a...

We're a family of this where, like, my brother's Dan, but he's Danny. Yeah. Tom's would be Tommy. Joe's would be Joey's. Yeah. Mike would be Mikey. Like the younger mics would be Mikey. Yeah.

Although I have a younger cousin, Michael, that we only call him. He's not a Mikey. Call him Michael. Uh-huh. Was his dad Mike? No. No. His dad was a lady.

His dad is a different name. He's named after his grandfather who was a Mike. Okay. Because Michael, my cousin Michael, he's either Mikey or Michael. Yeah. But that was because it was uncle. There was two mics. Big Mike or Big Michael, a little Mike.

That big Mike. came big Mike. A little Mike became big money. Anyhill. He's getting married. Can't wait for the wedding. Shut out, Mikey. You better send him a fucking check.

No, you're not going to get it. You don't think so. I don't think so. Mikey. What the fuck? You've met him four times? He loves me. I'm a goddamn half of celebrity over here.

Don't go to the gas station and try to ask for money then. You will be embarrassed. You got to be shitting me. Uh-huh. Where is it at? Is it down air? Yeah, North East Philly. Is it?

Uh-huh. Spring? I don't know. Coming up? I just got to save the date. I don't know, though. The same thing? Yeah.

I guess I go, fuck. You didn't get one? I didn't get one. Maybe it got switched up in the mail. Maybe since I've changed addresses. Went to the old address. You never know. I'll put it a good word for you.

You should send a gift regardless. What? I mean, you're publicly begging to get invited to the wedding. No, I'm not. The least you could do is give a gift. It's ridiculous. Will that be hoagie dipped? there?

Probably. I think it might be, it might be a pretty classy affair. Is that right? Probably not. And I don't want to go. I think it's going to be

at the boys club. What's that? They grew up in. Tarsdale Boys Club. Like the Boys and Girls Club? Yeah, it was the boys club, the girls club, the ladies club.

It's real, it's real fucking, if they played old school town. Northeast Philly is still stuck in 1972. I don't know if you ever been there. But they have like gyms and shit like that?

Yeah, She's like a rec center, but it was called the Bullies Club. Is that where it's going to be? No. I was joking. There's a men's league on the other hand. On the other half of the fucking... It's just a curtain and the guys playing shirts and skins.

That's good stuff. All right, let's see here. Shout to Johnny. Johnny Clamps. Never have one read. You ever have a generational beef with someone? My dad used to fight the same guy, Dave, at the local gas station. multiple times a year for most of my childhood.

That's good. I don't know. That's great, though. That's smaller town shit. Or at least real neighborhood shit. That's not, you know. Those guys loved each other. Yeah, there's something.

It's like, I can't quit you. Have you ever got... I don't know about that. Okay, I'm sorry. I don't get way too serious. Yeah? Is it me? What?

You talking to me? What? Can I help you? Who the fuck else of me? talking to. God damn host of the show. Oh, thanks. Why? What? I got promoted. Have you ever gotten to a fight with somebody then immediately

hey? Like, it just cleared the air? Uh, not immediate. I don't think so. I have. Yeah, I get that. Usually when you get your ass beat. Snap up real quick. Hey, a fellow of a fight. fucking eyes hanging off.

Dude, I remember there was, I remember there's his fight down at the playground, right? You're going to meet by the playground. These two smaller kids were fighting. It was like, I'll meet you there right after school. So, like, we heard, we fucking, everybody squads up. Not just to go watch. Like, we're not like, yeah, fucking. It's like two friends, like, you know, of our bigger friend circle.

They go, they fucking square up. One kid throws one punch and punches like, I guess the way he got them. Like, he got them, like, here, like, right under the nose. It was like on like the, right on the inside of the tooth went, put a big hole right there. And everybody was like, all right, that's like, that is irrefixable damage. You just did it in one punch. That like, you know, you guys are doing it. Everybody was just like.

What's you with Adonis Bill? It's over 300. Yeah, it was just like. All right, your boys are going to keep going until you hit somebody's deductible. Any retainers or invisible line fly out. I'm calling the fight. I called your parents, made sure all premiums. paid up

uh yeah it was just one of those because like there was no like real hatred it was just like some some shit that was made up in school of like uh so and so so said whatever and it was like they didn't even see each other you what cost in trouble now um i remember the kid i forget i remember that somebody fabricating it i went like you just fucked it like he's forever going to have a fucking scar on his face because you got bored of the social studies class and started doing a he said he said she said bullshit but i remember he hit SIG right after he's smoking a Newport right after and it was bubbling through the The hole and we had somebody had to cover with a t-shirt

Got to get your heater and have to get your ass kicked in front of the fucking it was one punch that was it? One punch because then they weren't really mad at each other And then we're all like ah we're all friends like Do you didn't get to swing them back? I don't think you wanted to at that point he was done I do this is it just like opened up And there was just it was like squirting out blood and we're like all right I ran to the loom hopped in.

The cops go. I was never here, dude. Later. I'm a bitch. Hey man, it's Taco salad night at my mom's house. I don't want to puke. Yeah, that was, I never got that.

But, like, I never, I never fought anybody. That would have to be a complete stranger, where I go respect. We duped it out. Thank you for working with here. I'm talking to the wall. And a good clean fight.

Yeah, I did it I don't think it I don't think so I think maybe one of the times I fought my brother mate I don't know about that There's a chemical release Yeah

After it Where you like you just You know I don't know Sometimes it like makes you like boys Yeah there's like a you know There's a mono emano I should hate the guy

That's what I'm saying I'd be cry punching people All right, let's see here This one's from Abbeville $10 beautiful girl here Shout up to the beautiful girls I typically do not need a freeze pack slash block for my lunch bag

The only one I have was thawed out on the counter Okay, so she needed one Okay She doesn't typically need one, she needed one this day Right They didn't have it Right You put one in there anyway

Where? You put the thing in there anyway The warm one? The warm one What are you talking about? No, you put, you always, even if you don't need it, you got a sandwich in the soda. Apparently always put the cold pack in there. You'd go to lunch with a cold pack?

Always. That's wild. Why? We never did that. You lowers the core temperature, everything a little bit. That was dork shit to me. What did you do? I had one until I was third grade.

There you go. Third night in my high school. That's why you weren't getting any pussy. That's what it is. Dude, this kid, this nerd stopped in third grade. You carried a lunchbox in high school? I had like a fucking bag. I'd eat certain things, man.

Yeah, everything. I'd eat certain things. I need my Doritos. No, I had to have a, you know, the high caloric diet. It's goddamn wrestler. I can only eat a couple of days a week. Uh-huh. Mom!

You stink. No, uh? Yeah, you don't. I had to have stuff cool. Yeah. You know? I had that. So far, you went, I had there.

The doctor said I had there. I didn't sing about a doctor. nurse practitioner um yeah no i know i didn't like bring i didn't like coming home with stuff i gotta fucking carry this around all day my dad's the same way just never like i don't like taking a bag with i won't take a bag to the supermarket because it's like that's not the way they go i don't bring stuff home i leave it you know i don't

know it was a lot of fights about that about what about me leaving them everywhere yeah that's just like i just go like i'll just buy a long something my parents would give me something And I'd be like, hey, what the fuck is wrong with you? Like, all right. You guys read a newspaper recently. I think. What the fuck? Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Okay, yeah, it looks great. Thanks. I think. Fucking leave that somewhere. I remember I got to fucking screen that. I left the banana in the bottom of my school bag. Maybe over summer, over like a long break.

Like, I think I got, I think I came home from school like the last day of summer and, like, threw my school bag in the corner of the garage. Like, save with that banana. for later, and it's smushed banana and I think we had like every kind of bug all summer and we couldn't figure out

what it was. And my mom never thought to check the bottom of my school like the school bag. Where was it? In the garage. And then typical me the day before like you know it's 10 p.m.

first before the first. Ew. She's like, do you have your school bag? I'm like, yeah, whatever. It's in the garage. This guy got it. I went to put my fucking brand new trapper keeper in air

for four. fourth grade dude and it was oh my god it was brutal i remember god damn it i you ruin every this getting fucking screamed that my pro i always there would be a problem and i wouldn't address it you got to tell me sooner so i can fix it once you wouldn't yell at it yeah you finally didn't you get this breaking my fucking balls lady you'll figure it up uh yeah i remember that and i yeah didn't have a school bag i was the coolest kid that day rolling into school with no school bag was the best. Yeah, just what?

I got a half day. I got a doctor. I didn't bring my bag later. I stopped doing books like can't wait through my senior year. Whatever. Real good getter. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't like taking anything home.

I would leave it at home if I knew I was going to need it. The next. Also, my parents were divorced. There was always like a back in front. My math books at Dad's out, my whatever, whatever. And sometimes a teacher. Like, why don't you do your homework? I'm sorry.

I left my bag at my, my dad's apartment, you know. Have you talked to the counselor? I haven't. Okay, what are you going to talk to? The counselor?

Yeah. I would just give him some sob story. Oh. See, it's, I got to get that. I go, see, it's cash only

and I don't have my fucking, I walked out without my wallet. You just described with the scene from Mrs. Doutfire with her. Said, which my mom had a meme is. Mrs.

Doutfay, honey. Yeah. That's a tough one. Oh, so I'm sorry. The only one I had, she didn't have one thawed out. Yeah, I'm sorry. Please.

I had to leave for work in a Harry, so I grabbed a frozen bagel in a Ziploc bag that I knew I was never going to eat. It ended up being thalled out later, and she ate the bagel that day. Wow. There you go. The very bagel that she used. I respect the move. That's not bad. Yeah.

I doubt it gives off that much coolness, though. That's got a thought. That's got a thought. Yeah, but there's no moisture in it. The moisture is what keeps like, imagine like a frozen thing of fucking hamburger meat. That's hanging on for a while. A bagel by the time the air gets to it. Can't look that at work, though.

Yeah. Fucking sloppy jokes. Jammed up for that. Ingenious. Yeah, there you go. Also, who doesn't want just a fucking bagel midway through the day? A little afternoon. She's one of them frozen lenders?

That's all we had growing up. You didn't need to toast them. I remember at one point they kept making them smaller and smaller. And like the one side would barely be touching as a bet. You know what I mean? It would be like, it would be like that thick from the hole to the outer ring. Like, what if I had to eat 15 of these fucking things? They had those weird little clamps on the end of them.

They didn't cut them all the way through yet. To peel them apart. Yeah. You know what I hated that? How did you feel about the mini big? No. My mom gets involved in them every once in a while. Now?

Yeah. In her 70s? Yeah. That's swing or shit. I'll be at the house, she'll have a bunch of little mini bagels. A little bangers, but I don't get it. I get it for her, these older brads, they eat a little, you know what I mean? They're not like fucking putting the, I'll have two little ones, whatever.

The kids, too, I get like, you know, you got a little kid for sure. It makes it a little easier, a little funner, whatever. She yells at me so much with the fucking English muffins. I'll just come in and crucify a whole sleeve. Uh-huh. I can't have one. Then maybe don't have one at all. What am I dickhead?

A little bit. Is there any shame in just crushing all your mom's bag? Like, you have to know, see, this goes back to you know you're going to get yelled at. You could easily Uber Eats 15 packs of fucking Thomas's English muffins for you or for her. But you just crush hers and just go. You believe she's fucking bitching of me for fucking eating all her food? Now this old broads got to fucking, you got bad hip or something. She's got to go.

We got canker sores. Yeah. Got bad knees. You gotta go hobble to the fucking Whole Foods I get it for her She's got other ones in the freezer I don't leave her high and dry Check the stash first

The head stash Check her fucking socked for Make sure she got a fucking sweet bag in it Oh god All right let's no shame Which maybe that's my problem I died But I have a lot of shame

Yeah I think you do a lot of You do say you don't have shame But you are I would argue one of the most shameful. You're so aware of all your things, and it comes out as, you know. You're like the gay guy who screams, I'm not gay. You know what I mean? I am.

I'm what you are. You're like one of those congressmen who's like anti-gay and then gets called fucking blowing a guy at fucking Farley Service Center. I'm trying to close down Thomas Ziggis Muppet. Me-law. He's an atrocity. Keep up coming. Secrets dash.

Oh, God. All right, let's see here. This is a pretty good one. This is from Trev Dog. Great name. Trev Dog. Just fucking out there. Trev Dog.

Yeah. You know anybody with dog in their name? My boy, Ryan, my boy, Deli, who Diesel said. He goes, every time you mention him, you say, my boy Deli. Like, it's his full name. My boy, Deli. It goes by, at one point, he tried maybe going by Rye Dog. He tried.

Well, we asked him what his street name was, meaning what street he lives on. Huh? Oh, just sounds like a stripper name. Yeah. And he said Rye Dog, meaning like his hood, like his street name. And we're like, first of all, no one calls you Rye Dog. Anywho. But you meant, what your street name is what?

I'm like, I don't want to give the street name, Al. What are you talking about? The street he grew up on. Oh. We asked him what your street name was. Oh, you mean. And he's such a dirtbag. He took it as his gang name, like what the cops don't know him as.

I thought you meant like what you had like what your stripper name would be. That's what we were playing that game and we said, hey, Rye, what's your street name? And instead of saying fucking pine run or whatever, he said ride dog. We were like 13. We're like, no one calls you fucking ride dog. But that's what he wanted to be. Shout out of Ryan and Scott. Scott's a big listener.

Love you guys. But yeah. But nobody with dog. I mean, minus ride dog for a very short period. Yeah, a bulldog. A bulldog. That's a little too. Too cool, though.

Kimmy Shibb. How would you say it in conversation? I got you called him the Bulldog. I got you called him. Yeah. Would you say, hey, bulldog? Hey, B dog. Yo dog.

Yeah. He's fucking super upper body strength. Mm-hmm. And he would just... He was just able to, like, take a kid and just flip him over. And it was like a move that he kind of invented on his own. Call that the cement mix. Ra!

Do you remember that? That was a big move when my brother wrestled. The cement... Put him in the cement mix. I guess you flip it, you turn on it. See if that's a move. That's a move. Maybe not back in the 50s when you were doing it.

The fuck league is he wrestling in the cement mixer. That's a move. Yeah. I didn't just make it up. The cement mixer? Yeah. You call yourself a wrestler. This came from a state champion to put you in a cement mixer.

Oh, you are regional. Not to be confused with the cow catcher, which I guess is a similar move. Which was all these high school years. The heifer hoarder, that's what you were. Yeah? Strolling around the pasture. Hello, ladies. What is this cement mixer?

I think you would like, I remember it was like, you got them and you whopped them. My neighbor used to, that was his move. I was his finisher. He was real good. The move is illegal as it locks on the neck. We play dirty. Maybe that's why I knew of it. I don't know what year they banned it.

What year did he get fucking ax? But I remember that. The bulldog. Flipped you over. Flip you. Okay. Yeah, you get someone in like a neck hold over the top and then you turn. And then flip them.

Oh. And you flip over. A neck hold over to the top. Hey. Choking him? I like how you put yourself there. Like you were going to. Stand up.

Me doing. Yeah. It's fucking probably gooch me. Scumbag. Stop playing with your. Bulls. Give you a fish. I remember my cousin Liam

teaching me how to fight at a very young age. Fish hook? Oh, you know, fish hook and eye gouge. Isn't anybody big? I gouch. Yeah.

From Kensington. We were the fucking suburban bullseys. These kids were like, High gudge is permanent. Yeah. I don't know if you've been around the streets of Kensington,

but those motherfuckers play for keeps. But yeah, fish, I learned fish hook I very early age. This fucking, and he did it.

He's like, this is how you do it. Who. Want to know how I got these scars. Yeah, they don't, they really, you know. You probably didn't like that, did that, did that? I was such a pussy compared to those kids. I remember my brother sticking my head in between the sofa cushions.

I was freaked the fuck out. You fucking fish hooked me. Mm-hmm. Fucking burn the house down. Can't be kidding me. We used to get ridiculed for being the only kids that lived in the suburbs. Everybody else still lived in the city. And they fucking, you little bitches out there, everybody show up and just get ridiculed.

Danny did not like it You got a bag of bread with you We're all just This ended in so many fights It was crazy So so many like I'd just be watching You were fighting in your cousins

No there was none my age Danny and those guys are the closest to me So like one of them would hit me Or like I would you know So did you go after one of the girls The girls would fight too The girls would be quick to take their You know

The girls Some of the girls I've always said Philly girls still go, oh, they'll name a school and go all those girls think they're tough. Or like, you know. Girls in the mount. They can't fight.

I'm like, well, that's, I don't think you guys should be bragging about how good you fight. There's something hot about those girls at the Italian school. Mm-hmm. Big hearings. Italian princess. Yeah, put them in some emixer.

How big guy? Beautiful girls. But back. You couldn't even talk to them. What? I'm nervous. A little fat kid. Yeah.

That's some fucking, some guido with fucking a mustache and muscles and shit like that. They're having an I-Rock Z. I'm getting dropped off on my uncle Mike. They're my cousin Tracy. Fucking stink. Yeah. They didn't really have, I guess, like, those Catholic schools have been phased out by the time. Oh, they were hot back in the day.

It's spicy. Yeah, no, they were fights. It was flawless in there. A couple of fucking ecto-cdo-cule. losing fun. A couple of mini bagels calling it back. A lot of fair month. I need somewhere to put my ice pack.

If I come home without my ice pack, my mom's going to have my ace. I remember I wear a dorky of shit too. She'd by my, she'd be like, you gotta put a nice sweater on. I'd be in there fucking pouring sweat. Fucking dudes in there with fucking tank tops looking all fly.

Break dancing and shit. I mean, they're like, I fucking working accounting. I count all the calories you're eating. Oh, God. Kid us talking about Chime. Chime, chime, chime. Chime is changing the way people banked. They offer the most rewarding fee-free banking.

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Trev Dog. That's a fucking hell of a tangent there. Been here for a minute or two, never have one read. Is it garbage to refer to an SUV as a truck? It's a dirtbag thing. My truck. You just say my car. I get that it's not a car, but it is your vehicle.

We live in a world where your vehicle is defined as a car. Truck is a truck. What do you mean? What? I get that it's a truck. I understand that. No, no, no. I'm saying this.

You don't see what? I wouldn't say that for it. I got my truck. That's a guy trying to look cool. I would say even people with pickup truck say, which your pickup truck is still a car. No, you say, I said a truck. When you got a truck, you say I got a truck. I got the truck outside.

That's if you're moving something. Not like, hey, can you run to the store and buy apples? Yeah, of course, I got the truck outside. You wouldn't say that. You would say, as I come from a big pickup truck family, you're flexing. I don't think you need to say truck unless you need the truck that moment. Hey, can you help me move my bed?

Of course, I got the truck outside. Okay. You would say like, because you, it's your car. It's your car. That's your vehicle. You got a sweet F2. You don't say, hey, I got a new quote on my pickup truck. insurance. I got a new car insurance. Who's your car insurance?

You got a sweet F-250 outside. One of those ones with the two double wheels in the back. A doly? Yeah. Hemmy, whole nine yards. Wait, I know where you're going. I'm saying truck. It's trashy though. Okay. But I get it. But I feel you're flexing to say truck. I call my totho to truck. I got the truck. You see, that's trash. Hey, I, we started with this with me begging for 20 bucks at an Exxon. That sounds like an accountant would say to try to sound cool. I'm a podcaster trying to sound cool.

Okay. Yeah, I don't, yeah, I mean, I'm not proud of it. I'm trying to sound cool, for sure. I am a huge loser. Because you can't really put shit in there. That's a big misconception. No, you're not putting fucking lumber and shit in there. Rip up the seats.

It's all covered in plastic, dude. No. You'll be in there bitching. No, dude, you put all the fucking seats down and they have these rubber, like, true mat, like it covers everything. You don't have to do anything. It all, they all hinge on each other.

And it's all like a bed liner. Now, I'm not putting any lumber back there. I am putting strollers and, uh, sure. Boxes and luggage. But I could, if I wanted to put lumber in there. What about gravel? Put some gravel in there?

Oh, it'd have to be in a bag. See? truck I'll throw it right in the back I hose it out yeah I know I know First of all you don't have a truck I do Get the Jeep

Oh the Jeep's a truck Jeep's a truck No but we had a truck a truck truck truck I got a real truck Listen I think it is Back to it is trashy I think You're looking for validation Whoa someone went to therapy today

It did Tomorrow too Strip up. Mm-hmm. Um, okay. Yeah. You're looking for,

you want people, which I'm okay with. But then that's misleading. Why? I thought you said in a truck. Yeah, I got the towel. I can't put the fucking bed in there.

You don't tell them it's a truck if you need something moves. I got the truck. Yeah, so I'm in the truck. But if they go, oh, yeah, you can fit my gravel. You go, oh, uh, it's an SUV.

It's a porti-thory vehicle. I can't be moving your gravel from the house to have. I got speakers in there, dick, Ed. Going to ruin the bows. Um, yeah. Is that what you have is bows in there? I don't think so. I got that. I have the most standard package.

JPL? JBLs? No, they're expensive. Baby L's are expensive. Mosaics? I don't know what those are. I made it. I had pioneers. I put two six by nine open box.

I bought open box six by nines at a best buy. They were returned or something like that. Put them in. in the back of the Lumina. Boom, boom. Who put them in? I did. How?

The speakers, they're not, it wasn't like the subwulfer. It was just the speakers. They just pop right in. What did you connect them to? You're just like, like, you're setting up like fucking speaker. You put the blue wire to the red wire

to the red wire to the black wire to the black thing. Like you remember how you would like push the thing open and put the little cable water, the little red wire in there. Yeah, I remember that. Yeah, that's how also a 1995 Chevy Luminah was operating. It wasn't like, there wasn't like ox cords and shit like that at the time. You have to cut.

Cut out the hole or anything like that? I didn't do nothing. Pop right in there. Six by nine. It's a biennare. It cost me $129. They go to money. He's safe for garlic knots.

Nah. I used to go to Dominics. They did like a garlic bread. It was like a long cheesy stick. Remember how big garlic bread got? It was crazy, dude. Garlic bread got so popular. It was insane.

Mm-hmm. You were having pizza. The same shit. No, it's not. You know it. And I know it, Faddy. It's not. I, you know.

Yeah, it's the same thing, but it's not the same thing. Yeah. You know? A little cup of dipping sauce. I'm the judge jury and executioner here. I determine. That's some pizzoon behind the counter. You want to hear something sick?

Nope. Luke? I like a cold marinerer if we're dipping my garlic bread. Yeah, what? This fucking guy. Somebody hit me. I want all cameras on me right now. Give me the fly eye.

A little bit thicker, though. Yeah, no shit. Yeah, you need the juxtaposition. Sticks to it. I don't want a hot fucking thing and then hot stuff on a hot stuff. That's why the ranch ain't hot, or the blue cheese ain't hot when you get cold.

Yeah. On a wing. My parents used to go to this place. Vitos or something like that, and they would give you this crazy awesome garlic bread. They did it for, like, The first year they were open and they stopped doing it because they were probably hemorrhaging money. It was just crazy garlic bread.

My dad would order like six baskets. We just keep crushing it. I got a question. I went to a restaurant yesterday. I ordered a chicken parm. Shout out to Parm, the restaurant in New York. I think of chicken parmesan in general. Should have to Parmesan in general doing great things.

They offered you can get the sandwich on their famous garlic bread. They can garlic bread the bread for you. Yeah. I'm not a fan of that. What are your thoughts? Please. Really? Yeah.

The more flavor, the better. I don't like just plain bread in that situation. That's how I want to get a bacon, egg, and cheese. I got the bread buttered. That's different, though, to me. Because you butter bread. To me, I want the chicken parm sandwich. I don't want a garlic bread version of a chicken parm sandwich.

You know what I mean? That's just me. It's a little too much. That's a good idea. Okay. You didn't get it? No, I'm a fucking pure I have to, I can't

I'm not saying I might not try it next time But I can't not try the straight up The first time there to place called Porm Known for the chicken Porm I can't not try it How does that hold up? What, the reg? The Riggs one? It was good. Yeah, yeah, it was good. A little bit of place a little more casual I think

What else you have? I know that wasn't it. We got a side of fries for the table, mainly me But I said for a table, I said, you want fried I got done for the table, but it was my order. Did a seize? Split a C's. for the table.

Big crunchy croutons. A lot of cheese on here. That's it. I like a Caesar. That's it. I'm not doing appetizers or desserts. I've got to tighten it up. Huh.

Tight. Pammy, man. Pick that check up? That one, no. But I will respect it. I picked up every other one. And then we asked for the check. I was with my mother.

Denise was in town. She goes, I'll get it. You and she just made me feel nice because she said it as the guy or the girl was breaking out the digital. thing. She goes, you've paid for everything all weekend. You hear that? That's all I needed. Got the truck out front.

All the gravel in bags that you need. It made me feel nice. Good. That she knew that I wasn't a loser, which I am. And he has her they had any sherbert. Can you get one scoop of sherbur? Yeah. All right.

Let's see here. Let's see. Let's see. What else do I got? This one's from Crippled Eagle 86. I like it. $10 homie here, haven't had one read before. Is it garbage you enjoy a cold drink while on the commode?

Hmm. I don't think, and we've gotten this question a lot, eating, whatever. Drinky would be the most I could do and I'd still have to say no. That's just me. It's not my style. Yeah. But as gross as I, listen, I'm disgusting. Hey, he's telling the truth.

I'm gross. Something shuts off in my brain in those situations. Because I know what's in the air. Yeah. Atomically. It's, yeah. Cellularly. And you, listen.

If you're doing fucking big, you know, big boy dumps, that air, like, the physical tension in the air changes. Yeah. The temperature change, you know what I mean? A storm roll, a high pressure system roll. Like. You could slice it with a night. To like. That's everywhere.

Yeah. I just, I don't know. I don't know what I would be eating, what I would have to be eating. Eating? Yeah, drinking, no. I don't like heaters in there. I bet, dude, every time I tried to do that as a kid, my dad would always smoke on the toilet for, like, he'd be in there reading the paper, cranking heaters.

Any bathroom. Mike Hawley, you know, the kid's bathroom downstairs, they're just, it's just a world. There was just heaters everywhere at all times. Inside. Where would he ash it? I think right between them are maybe. I think in like the or like the sink, the powder, like the downstairs bathroom was like a small one. So it was like, I think he'd flush it.

Yeah, I guess. I'd do so many times I'd go in. And I think he would just be ripping heaters like walking around and then just throw it in. So many times, this is unlocking a memory. There was just a Marlboro Red Butt floating in the thing that I would pee on and try to break up. I try to open up by peeing on it. My whole child. I probably even now.

I mean, I don't speak to the man, but probably even now. Would you go Harvard? Yeah. Yikes. But he would always did it. So he left. And I was like, I got to try. I was dabbling in heaters, probably 12, whatever as a kid.

Dabbling in heaters. So he left and you tried to replace that. What? Interesting. He left. What do you mean? He left to me. No.

No, this was at his house. Oh. I went, this is how grownups. I go, he does this. all the time, this heater's got to be sick. You know what I mean? The one they talk about after sex. I'm jerking off and then catching a heater.

I, yeah, and I tried it. I was just like, this is, I remember I was, he was like, I'm leaving. He's like, I'm leaving the night at six. And I went, I had one heater in a fucking, like an altoids can or something like that that I was saving. I stole from him. And I said, baby, wait till he leave. This was the big night.

I would be fucking smoking and duky. and uh how long are you holding the do-do in probably since noon or something i needed to ha that you better believe i'm going to ha that steak that's me what are you doing tonight you don't want to know and i immediately hated it i didn't yeah like it just wasn't for me at an early age i don't get it i don't like combining all that stuff now yeah so drinking i mean you'll even smoke in the pool or the hot tub oh i like that yeah it's just still too much you know what i can It's not the best version of swimming and it's not the best heater to me. You know what I can't get you good a heater is on the beach.

There's something with the moisture in the air. And the wind. I don't like a heater on the beach. And the wind. And if you're drunk, then yeah. But you got to be. Then you feel bad about putting it out there and flicking into a sea. Not in wild wood, you don't need to.

I'm obviously off the eaters, but I would go back in the day we'd walk off the beach. Because everybody's kids and nieces and nephews, you know, you don't want to be the, unless my cousin. Dan and his family comes down and they're like a heavy heat, the heavy side of the heater family. So come like 1 p.m. We're already drunk just like you. Having them right in a circle under the tent. What do you think I would stand on that?

On what? Walking and back to the thing and then coming back. No, you wouldn't. Once I go on the beach. You're on the beach. And I go off the beach. Uh-huh. I make that trek.

It's like Normandy. I ain't going back. Sure. But it's also very nice of me and Danny Ryan would do this a lot. Mm-hmm. we'd be on the beach social I beer beer beer beer beer beer beer

beer beer beer and then you know you make guys go let's pop off and then you can go trash whoever whatever I just you know then you have your own little

powwow then you go back and you go back you know it's a fun little Irish Catholic you know you know when someone leaves the party like I got a ragging guys probably always something you know what I mean

you're doing I have the little wall too well It's usually me. No, no one's ever said that. I caught you's trash to me the other day when I stepped out. Came in your dream. Nah, you're wrong. That was, that was purely about me.

It was about. Stink. What? Start jiming in. Hey, tell you about his little dick, too? I was speaking purely about myself. 100%. Hand up.

Trust these rats. That's the problem. We think everybody's against you. It's crazy. All right, let's see. This one's from C.M. Hanigan. names. CM Hannigan.

That's like a writer or something. Yeah, CM. That's by CM Hannigan. His early work. Yes. For her. We're her.

Yeah. Yes. I would assume this has to be a guy. You ever see blood on the bread after biting into a sandwich? Dude, that is so fucking specific. It's crazy.

Yes. And it's freaked me the fuck out. Now, I think I've had it both ways. I think I've had it from like, it's been a real like a lip sitch and I think I've had a gum sitch. Oh.

From like a crunch, like a real crunchy piece of pizza or something like that toast or something. Yes, it would be the chip. It would be a chip, a kettle cooked chip. I thought you meant like, when you got chap loses a kid, would you like bleed on the inside? You are one of those friends. No, no, but I'm just saying if you say your lips are dry and you got to get up there, it's real tight. You got a, maybe the bread's a couple days old and you toasted it. It's a little too sharp.

I got flakes, I cut it. I'll get it with a healing cold sore, too. Coal sore. You go like that to bite and that splits? That's a little different, but yeah, that's a bit of a virus vibe you got going on there. A little bit of an infection. But you think it's such bad chap lips that they cracked and bled. I mean, not like, I wasn't a kid with chap lips, but, like, definitely, you know, from time to time, you know, yeah, you'd get.

I get it, even now, like, not, you know, if it gets too bad. I mean, also, we weren't like a chapstick. I wasn't like running around with chapstick. We were a blistex family. That shit would fucking burn. Yeah. Yeah, for a little bit. I remember, like, we would go, like, snowboarding.

It would be like, put on your blistacks, but like, never. We'd be sharing it and stuff, too. Like, we didn't fucking, I'm probably, you know, probably giving each other fucking coal source. You ever see a chick put on CarMax? Yeah, that was, yeah, that became, uh, that was stuff. I didn't know. I feel like I didn't learn that until college, though. Like, that was.

There was another one. Aquifer or something like that, maybe. I love aquafore. Uh-huh. For the Boudoir. There you go. Yeah, that's good stuff. It's like Vaseline.

Bezaline. You shove your fingers in your head. Kemp, he's hot today, boy. Let's say this was from Nate Schmidt. Fake name for sure. Nate Schmidt. What's up, boys? homie for a couple of years and they never had one read how you doing happy to get it across my

desk oh love you buddy um saw you guys in rochester shout out to you nice shout out to de bella's tuna hoogies i don't know what that is the bella's tuna i think it was one of us where that we were making fun of those girls and she's like i work at the bellas uh-huh the bellies then we're like what's good there the tina haigua tina hoagie um tuna hoagie in rochester but it's delicious are you garbage if you load your grandfather's ashes into a shotgun shell and give them a three-gun salute. Listen. How do even do that?

You know how to... You got to make your own bullets there. Yeah, that's... I think more people, more hillbillies. You know how to... More country people. I think specifically shotgun shells are, like, easier. In my loose, understand.

Press them in. Yeah. You can press your own shotguns. They're like being... I think that one is, out of making bullets, that one's the most common, because it's like somewhat... The shells, like, you can...

just, I've seen YouTube shorts on it, so I don't really know, but. Ah, yes. That's the easiest one to repress. I don't, yeah, I don't think they're like crazy pressurized and as fucking as like, yeah. You know, nine mill or something? I'm sick. You make your own ammo? You make your own ammo?

Do I make my own ammo? No, I don't. Put the Teflon tip on. What? Top killers. Danny Glover? Huh? Yeah.

He's a weapon three? I got you. I got, I didn't know what you were saying at first. I thought this was an allusion to the paypal video The Lvalbalb Patreon.com No, that's what I thought you were doing. Fair enough. Did you see there's a video going around of a fat guy

reloading his paintballs? Do you ever see that? No. They're upside down on his belly. He's got a bunch of canisters and they're all upside down and he opens it and everybody was tagging us. Every time he opens it, by the time he gets it there, it's all just dumped on the ground by the door.

That was the hardest part. Those things are slippery. Uh-huh. Brutal. I want to do it again. We should film it again. I want to do, I got to get my own mask. Yes.

Dude, I was fogged up. I'm a mouth breather and I just fucking, if you don't know, you're, you're getting hit up. Tactical gear. She got her own gear. Also, everybody said specifically as a team, but a little bit of you of some foul play. Oh, yeah. Of the, I'm out. I'm hit.

And then you would continue to shoot 42 more times. And they go, oh, I'm sorry about that. Oh, you mean, oh, that. I go, I'm hit. And then you go, dude, it would just, I didn't, I'm also. I think. I hate you. I think.

Fair enough. I thought you didn't hear me. So I'm like, I'm hit. And I hear you. Now I have Luke's footage of you fucking watching. I did that to everybody. I'm rubbing your fucking fat pals together. I got to make sure you're dead.

I can't go walk him by. Have you jump up and stab me? Every movie ever. It's like they fucking every. You did the same thing. You did the same. You did the same. Yeah, right.

I got you. Because I would yell, I'd be like, I fucking, I'm out. That was after shot. That's warm. That's because I was making my own bullet. We got to wrap it up. Yeah, that's trash about the shotgun. Yes.

But I respect it. Respected. That's a, that's a, hell of a way to go. Yeah, respectable honorarium, memoriam of a deceased, obviously dirtbag as well. Shout out to your grandpa. Yes. Gang, we love you. See you next week.

Peace. Peace.