Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Tim Butterly: Philly Trash

Episode Date: July 2, 2020

Comedian, podcaster, and old pal Tim Butterly joins us for a hot pod. Tim tells us about growing up in Philly, Pizza Rolls, and his money making schemes. You know Tim as the host of the Dad Meat podcast. Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/foleygrams/ Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test.

Hey there, gang. It's your old pals, Uncle Hank and Kippy. We got some big news, folks. RU Garbage is coming to the Gas Digital Network. That is correct. Me and old Kippy are joining the Gas Digital family, baby, and we could not be more excited. Yeah, guys, this is fucking awesome. But don't worry, not much is changing. If you listen to the podcast, it's still available free wherever you listen. The most recent 15 episodes are available free on iTunes, on YouTube, wherever you listen to podcasts. But the catalog of RU Garbage will be available on GasDigitalNetwork.com. But don't you worry, you're a little garbage hearts, ladies and gentlemen, because if you go to GasDigitalNetwork.com and use promo code AYG,

you know what I get? I know what I get, you big man. Talk to me. I get you a 14-day free trial and you'll save $1.50 a month as long as you're signed up. It's gonna be a hoot. You'd be crazy not to sign up for that. That's savings right there. And in this economy, we can all use to save a couple of bucks. So spend it wisely, folks. Not only do you get the catalog of AYG, you also get the past catalog of Legion of Skanks, of Real Ass Podcasts, of Believe You Me, with Michael Bisping. Irish Goodbye. Irish Goodbye. You get all the shows on the network. It's gonna be fucking worth it. Guys, sign up, use promo code AYG. Don't be a piece of trash. And gang, don't forget to check out the live stream every Tuesdays and Fridays at GasDigitalNetwork.com. If you want to watch it in HD,

high quality, sign up for the network. You will not regret it. Those live streams will be out three days before everybody else gets to see them. So you're the first one to smell the garbage, baby. Sign up today. Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H Foley. Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast. This is Are You Garbage? The show where we sit down with your favorite comedians and find out if they grew up classy or if they're complete trash. I'm your host H Foley, coming at you on yet another

gorgeous day here in Bluebell, Pennsylvania. Fourth of July is this weekend thinking about doing a brisket, maybe some ribs. Mom's making potato salad. It's going to be some clean living. My co-host back in the New York groove up there in the uptown, uptown Washington Heights, holding it down, keeping the block on lock. Let me tell you something, gang. Now that the holiday's coming Fourth of July, the next time you reach for a best pal, go ahead and make it a kippy. He tastes great, doesn't fill you up. Give it up for my good pal. Kevin James Ryan, everybody. Now 30% more forehead. Happy to be here, gang. Thanks for tuning in. Yeah, back here in New York, but leaving tomorrow, heading down to the old Bucks County, Pennsylvania, baby.

Really? You're going to hide out there while your mom's down the shore? Oh, yeah. It's a good move. It's like three-card Monty with me, dude. Wherever she is, I'm not, you know? Look at the underground railroad from the Corona. I wouldn't go to fucking Jersey. I'll pay it out. It's too hot down here. It's too hot in the city, dude. They're lighting off fireworks like it's fucking going out of style, dude. I haven't had a good night's sleep in six weeks. It's tough, but guys, thanks for listening. If you haven't already, please make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes. Also, subscribe on YouTube. The full video is available there as well. Very nice guys. Thank you so much. Very special guest that we have here with us today. We're

so happy to have this gentleman. He's been an extremely requested get. We got him. You loved him. You wanted him. Here we are with him. We know him from Jump Street back in the old Raven Lowndes days. Philadelphia comedy scene coming up on the run, baby. He's the co-host of the dad meat podcast. It's a tall drink of water. He's a good looking kid. Comes from good stock. But the big question everybody's mind today is he garbage? I would have to guess. Yes. Give it up for Mr. Tim Bottily, everybody. Thanks for having me, boys. You're leaning. Yes. All out of the gate. Out of the gate. I'm going. Yeah. I think you guys know too much about me already. I don't, but I'll say this. I wanted to, I wanted to have you on because,

you know, a lot of times we talk about childhood and stuff like that. But as most of the folks out there know that are Tim Butlerly fans, Tim's a proud father. He's got his own, he's got his own little family. They started the family young. I remember when we were filming Babe Ruth Time Traveler eight years ago and you had the family were extras. Your wife was dead and little kids were there. I was like, I bet you the Butlerly household is fun. I bet you there's a lot of 80s movies, a lot of snacks, a lot of Nerf guns, a lot of games. Do you associate like fun for children, like fun parents, almost entirely garbage through and through, right? Oh, there's a very slim margin that aren't. Yeah. I got no shot. Yeah. It's rough. Wait. You're like Robin

Williams in the beginning of Mrs. Doubtfire. You got a fucking petting zoo for somebody's party. Man. Yeah. You know who I've been trying to emulate? I've been trying to be Gomez Adams. Like weird, weird guy. Everyone's kind of like doesn't, you know, normal people are like put off by him, but he's just trying to fucking read. He's just trying to love his kids and fucking fuck his wife. That's all Gomez is about. And if it weirds people out, that's fine. I like that. As long as you don't let the property go the way the fucking Adams. You slept a coat of paint up there. A little bit of landscaping. Tighten up the shrubs. I live in a real dirt ball neighborhood in Philly. So you're from,

you're from the city, right? You were, you were born and raised in the city. Yeah. Kensington, born and raised. Yeah. This is what I know because my whole family's from Kensington as well. And we were tight when they, we were the only ones that got a couple of bought my mom and dad got a couple of bucks and made it out the, out to the suburbs, but I'm very well versed in a Kenzo to the Enzo. You know what I mean? How would you sum it up for people that have just no familiarity with the region? I mean, it's shockingly awful. It's, I mean, everything that you think about the worst part of the city, it's, it's, you'll still be, I remember taking a bus out there. Can't remember why. And I remember going to see your doctor. That would be like, there would be like places where

a bridge was supposed to be, but there'd be no bridge. Yes. Yeah. Like the land around it had like a bridge tan line. A lot of former infrastructure. Yes. A lot of rundown buildings, lot of, you know, lots with high grass, a lot of windows. If you're, if you're a Dominican dude, the ultimate come up is a house next to a house that burnt down, right? You mow out the grass, you throw down some pavers. You've got a private driveway for, you know, whatever, whatever your logging stuff around in. You know what I mean? Yeah. There's also, you get away with that? Brown. They don't, they don't send a lot of code inspectors down these bars. L and I is in swinging through to check to make sure there's girders or anything. You know what

I mean? Yeah. A lot of, a lot of cease and desist orders now. There's no hard hats. There's no flawless dude. It is pretty, it's pretty, it used to be, it was like a very, I mean, it was always kind of dicey, but it was like a very blue collar. I think historically it was like, it was like a, it was like a solid working class neighborhood. There's an elevated train that runs through it. I don't know whoever thought those were a good idea because it's like, let's make a permanent night in a poor neighborhood. So it's like, all right, cool. You've, you've basically made a crime garden that's, you know, 20 miles long through the city. And yeah, it's just, you know, things went the way they went. And now it's, I pretty sure it's the heroin capital of the east

coast. Yes. I would, I would argue maybe even the country. Like number one in something, baby. Come on. Yeah, right. Let's go. Let's go. Put that on the fucking high school football ban or let them run through it. Are you so you're still in Kensington? Yeah, I'm getting out any day now. Just trying to find some property. What? You're still there? What about the windows, dude? What are you doing? But what was it like when you, when you were growing up there though? How many kids did your parents have between them? There were one, two, three, four, just five of us. Folks, just for the listener out there, never want to start a sentence between them when referring to siblings or parents. Just if you're, if you're playing along at home. I was counting them on my fingers.

I don't know if you can see that. Yeah. And it was like, it was shitty, but like it was shitty in a way where you could be as a child, you could be diluted into thinking it was normal. You know what I mean? Like you were still a little league and riding your bike and shit like that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like there's like, we had like the Powell leagues and shit like that for free sports for the kids. And like, you just didn't know that you were living in fucking abject property. Wait, the police athletic league? Yeah, that was our sports. I don't think I even knew of a place with a travel team until like I saw one on TV as like a teenager. It was like, wait, what? You South Korean baseball team? You don't just play every sport

at the overused playground down the street. Yeah. Dude, those playgrounds after dark get dicey too. Bro. Later. That was actually how I ended up developing a sense of humor was I was just constantly trying to make like the, I guess let's call them the older kids. I was constantly trying to make them laugh so that they would protect me from the other kids my age because I was a fucking dork. You know what I mean? So like if we had to like scrape by some of the older kids that were just looking to beat ass, I would try to crack a couple of jokes, say something silly about myself. And eventually I was like, when someone came looking for me, they'd be like, whoa, he's, you know, that fat kid's kind of funny. Leave me alone. It's so weird. It's so weird

that that's the own, that's like the universally respected thing with poor people is a sense of humor. If you can break balls, like do my whole family, it's like, we just get around, we just drink cheap beer and just make fun of each other. It's insane. It's the only affection that I truly understand. Yes. Yes. If you're not being made fun of at like a family, like if there's like, if like my cousin brings a husband around and no one fucks with them, it's like, because nobody likes them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, you should crave that. If you, if you're around fucking poor people or dirt balls or whatever, and they're not ripping into you the second they meet you, it's because they're not feeling it, dude. 100%. You got to fire a warning shot and see if they

return. You go across the bow of the boat to see what happens. Exactly, dude. Otherwise, it's, you know, sorry, dude, it's not working out. That can backfire though. Your mom corners you. What did you say to Barry? Yeah, but parents have no, they have no, what do you call it, jurisdiction over this kind of stuff. Like they care a little bit about manners, but for the most part, it's like, dude, just let us fucking ball out. Yeah. Just let the dudes like meet in the basement and just, you know, fucking fight club this thing out. That just goes back to their brain from when you were kids and you're just doing wrestling moves on each other in an unsupervised bedroom. And every once in a while they come up and be like, stop, guys, come on. Cool. You were

in the coat room at the party. Yeah. I was a big coat room kid. It all went down in there, buddy. It went down in the coat room. Just wearing swishy pants to a fancy party and sliding across the floor as fast as you could. A little rooting through some pockets. See what's up. So your house in Kensington, was it like the standard three bedroom? This is the house. This is the house I grew up in. I took it over from my dad when he finally got out of the neighborhood. So many of my cousins did the same exact thing, dude. The fucking box is getting checked here. I know, dude. And trust me, I'm aware of it. Yeah. My dad got out and I was like, this would be a great opportunity. I could fix up my dad's

old house. I could pay off the mortgage. Pretty good though. I found a charter school for my kids. So my kids aren't in like a, you know what I mean? Well, they did start. They started out in a kindergarten in a Philly public school in this neighborhood. Luckily, like the kindergarten was separate from like the rest of the school. Otherwise, I might have fewer kids right now. That was the weed they were selling us. That was the fundraiser. Hey, buy a dime bag. We're trying to play T-ball over here. The weed was heroin. So I got them into like a charter school. Again, I'm just, dude, I'm trying to, in my mind, I'm justifying it like I'm saving money to

provide a better life for my kids. I got into a charter school and I realized that where I was sending these kids every day at their old school, it was like an abandoned prison. The way that it was run, the way it was maintained, but dude, they're good now. No big deal. We're almost out. Yeah. Bounce back. No harm, no foul. Wow. But yeah, so I grew up around here. I, you know, I was supposed to be here. Who grew up in the house with you? My, only my sister is a full sibling. The rest kind of came and went. My younger sister. So we were, we were pretty tight. We're still like best friends. Do you still talk to the kind of outside siblings? Yeah, I talked to my, my older half brother. He's like a full, he's basically a full and then the other two. We're

good. I'm good. Hold on. Let's back this up. Break down this dynamic for me. What are we talking about? What do you want to start? Your mom and your dad both were married before, correct? Yes. And they both had kids before? Yeah. Yeah. They both had prior kids. How many? How many did your mom have? My mom had two older than me and my dad had one older than me. Okay. So those are my three half brothers. I don't talk to the ones. They're all brothers? Yeah. Yeah. Those being some rough characters. Yeah. Yeah. There was actually, and when they would like have to kind of like co, like step single sibling mingle, it would get kind of dicey. And I remember one night where one of my brothers from my mom had to be restrained by everyone in the house

because he was trying to run out of the door with a kitchen knife to go after one of my brothers from my dad's friends. So dude, there's, it's funny. It's a funny memory to me now. Christmas time, baby. Christmas time makes us all little nuts. Dude, I was just with all my cousins this last weekend and same thing. There was a fight that had to be, you know, had everybody had to push everybody away. It's just so, but like, it's so normalized in my family where I'm like, we're like, what are some, my wife's like, what are you guys gonna do tomorrow? Like, I'm like, you'll just fucking say what's up and, you know, keep it moving. See you at Christmas. You know,

grab a breakfast, Sammy and keep it rolling. You guys have like a, like a high sign. Like, all right, we got to pull the cord. It's getting a little dicey. You know what I mean? It depends how much alcohol is involved for sure. Like that, you know, they'll definitely blow by the checkpoints if, if they're feeling rowdy enough. If it goes and there's a fight, then the morning's going to be a little bit awkward. Sure. We've had, we've had a couple of, you know, it's a big mistake for a garbage family doing the brunch after a wedding because a lot of fucking shit happens in the wee hours at a night at that wedding. And then you show up to the brunch and certain people aren't looking

at each other in the eye. This one left early. This one's not talking to that one. Dude, brunch after a wedding. What are you, a millionaire? I just paid for dinner. What do you mean? The wedding ends. You have to vacate the VFW. Oh, that was one of my questions. Have you ever been to a wedding at a VFW or nights of Columbus? No, nights of Columbus is also a little bit less urban than me. VFWs, it was everything was at the VFW and we only stopped going to this VFW when there was a shooting in front of it. And we're like, all right, we're going to stop booking at the VFW. I'll tell you what, though, they know the way you're on a fucking meatball and a mashed

potato. There's, I haven't, I haven't been served food at an event in my adult life that has ever compared to a roast beef sandwich from a VFW. Dude, coming out of those sternos, forget about it. Just fucking wet meat that you're scooping out with a spoon. You only got to like dry it. You know what I mean? Before you put it on the roll. Dude, I'm salivating. My God, a stale Kaiser roll. God damn. A bad salad with warm ranch dressing. Yeah. Yeah, soggy lettuce. No croutons. All right. So growing up, as far as you could tell, it was your mom, your mom and your dad, they stayed together the whole time you were growing up, right? Until about high school. Yeah. Oh, then they split up? Yeah. Because I've met your dad before. He's a, he's an ass kicker.

Dude, he's the best guy in the world. Yeah. And he's the only reason that I'm not, you know, any of these fucking scary. Well, yeah, scary, but he looks, I get how his size could be scary. Yeah. Sweetest fella, hard to go. And when I met him, though, he was wearing a wife beater. Is that possible? A black wife beater? I didn't say he was classy. He's not a fucking Rockefeller. You know what I mean? He's from Kensington. Come on. He's got a pair of Reebok classics on. Let's do it. I remember him coming across as like a, like a motorcycle guy. Yeah. He's a, well, so if, if you fuck, how do I phrase this? He's kind of like a poverty gearhead where it's like, well, the truck broke again. I have to fix it. Like that kind of guy. You know what I mean? The dirty hands

his whole life. And what did he do for a living? He was a, he owned a series of print shops. That's right. Failed for a different, like, you know, you could blame other people reasons, but he never was that kind of guy. And he always just, you know, eyes forward kept working. So as long as I've known him, rough hands, always dirty, always smells like some kind of chemical. Never stopped working as very respectful, respectful. And your mom, what was it? What's her story? She's a lunatic. I haven't talked to her. Turn over a couple of rocks. You find this snake. Here we go. I haven't been super public about this. I, I'm like, I'm constantly like online and talking and putting shit out. And it's all personal, but I haven't really spilled anything

on her. I haven't talked to her in about 10 years. And she, she tried to do, she tried to pull off the ultimate in white trash. She tried to get a disability claim for life that wasn't quite, you know what I mean? It wasn't a slip and fall, but it wasn't, you know, anyway, it didn't go her way. And along the way, she got kind of, you know, she started to like the candy they were giving her. And she was just like, just a series of bad decisions and like, you know, she actually got injured from it. It was like a minor like a back thing at work. And then she was like, dude, I'm getting paid forever. And we were all kind of like, uh, like we didn't have like the cushion to go through that

kind of process. No, but I'm saying she didn't go into it like as a scam. Like, all right, Tim, you're going to drive me to work and then you're going to spill some ice on the floor when we get to the top of the steps. And then I'll spill a coffee and you'll push me down. Yeah. So like a like, yeah, like a hair back from that. It was like, yeah, my back hurts from that thing at work. And then it was like just dollar signs in the eyes. Wow. And that dude did. Yeah. It destroyed us. It killed us. But I mean, obviously not. Dude, we're pushing on. We're, we're, you know, yeah, you got a sweet setup there. What are you talking about? Yeah. It's a homeowner. Got a sweet setup. Kids are in charter schools. God damn, butterly. Yeah. Well, cause I, dude, I saw your

mom's fraud. You got to set a headphones. Come on. You got your dad. I'm more garbage adjacent. Like I know what I'm supposed to be. I know how it's supposed to turn out. But like I said, I had a very kind dad who kind of kept me on the right track and, uh, and I was also a fucking dork. Like if I didn't have Super Nintendo, I'd probably be dead from heroin, but yeah, I'm not going to fucking look at it. You know, we're not going to question it too much. Sure. Keep your head down and keep working like your dad, you know? Yeah. I'm self-aware. I'm the Johnny five of garbage. Do you know what I mean? Do not disassemble. I'm an autistic robot that should have been fucking a junkie. That's fine.

And how much younger is your sister than you? Like three years. So you guys grew up in there together. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just fighting, fighting constantly. Is it normal for, uh, brothers and sisters to fist fight constantly growing up? Or is that just garbage? I couldn't speak on it, but yeah, it's pretty garbage. You usually raises a, raises a tough girl and a, and a not a tough son. That's your, that's your sparring partner. I would say that's exactly how he ended up. Yeah. Was she taking you? Dude. Well, so a sister in a sibling fight has a handicap because if you go, if the brother goes a hundred percent, you're fucked, dude. You're, you're punished, man. Give me the fucking

super Nintendo controllers, but you're getting your ad. You're getting your ass beat by your dad. Yeah. So if the sister goes a hundred percent, the brother still gets in trouble. You know what I mean? So she was like weapons free. And I'm like, what are the, what's the limitations on this? What's the rules of engagement? She fucked me up, dude. My younger sister used to beat the shit out of me. Did your dad hit, did your mom or dad smack you around? Yeah. My, my mom would pop us every once in a while. My dad, I don't think ever once hit me. Never needed to, dude. He was, he was all. That sounds like a real straight fucking shooter. Bro. I mean, it has to be bad luck that he's not a fucking, you know, capitalist winner in life. Or maybe just like,

he doesn't like any of the negative association with, you know, taking what you want from the world. And, you know, he's, he's like a monk. That's what he is. He's a fucking monk. Kensington Monk. Kensington Monk, exactly. You make it sound like Shaft walking around in a neighborhood solving crimes. Yeah. Well, you know, he's incorruptible. I do. Yo, I use the neighborhood to keep my kids in line though. Like, so yeah, I'm kind of a fun dad, right? Dude, we kid around around here, huh? But when we're having a good time, come on. My daughter's 12, dude. And when she comes to me with like what 12 year olds like on the internet, she'll, she'll tell me about like YouTuber interpersonal drama. And I'm like, okay, let's go for a little ride. And we'll take a drive.

Like if I take like a half a mile radius around my house, it's like, you're looking at human zombies like decaying on the street. Yeah. I'm like, what do you think the YouTubers, what do you think they would think about this kind of stuff? Huh? You want to see a little bit of reality? Yeah. And yesterday I saw a lady, she was mid conversation and like casually like flipping her hair. This is, this is, so here, let me set the scene for you. There's an elevated train that I mentioned earlier. And right now, because they cleaned out like a homeless encampment around a train station somewhere, they closed down like a bunch of tent cities in Philly. They're all congregating just in a corridor under this elevated train. And it's the bleakest

shit you've ever seen. Like imagine if like a like rubble in Afghanistan also had junkies on it. So that's what we're doing. So we're just driving through. And I'm watching this lady just tell a story and like flipping her hair, talking to a friend. And if you look at her shins, her shins both had like gangrenous holes in them. Her legs were rotting off of her body. And she's just like, yeah, I told him like, I don't even care about that kind of thing. Right? Her shins look like, you ever, you ever see like a boss fight in a video game where like the boss lets you know where they're vulnerable? Sure. Yeah. Both of her legs were her weak spot. And they were like flashing red. And I'm just like, Hey, cool. Let's tell me more about, you know, how these YouTubers

want to know who's the best at makeup or whatever. Sure. Sure. Sure. Jesus Christ, dude. Might be a little bit harsh now that I'm saying it out loud. No, it's like scared straight, you know. Well, it sounds like you're doing good down there in the neighborhoods doing fantastic. I love Zell. Hi, you know what I mean? Bro, I don't let any of this shit hold me back. I don't care. I'm fully aware. For sure. I think you obviously you came, I think from not your dad seems like a straight shooter, but like you were came from a garbage environment for sure. You know, definitely not the best environment. You're like, you're like the phoenix that rose up. What are you talking about? Yeah, I know what he's got a good life for himself. He's married,

got some kids. He's not pulling a slip and fall scam. You know what I mean? He's got a good head on his shoulder. I'm optimistic. I might pull out of this. I might pull out of this. Dude, I'm putting my money on butterly. Yeah. Thank you. You mean a lot just to have someone say that. You know what I mean? Dude, what are you talking? Dude, the kid's a fucking fighter. Come on. That's true. My kids are sweet too, by the way. I know. I see, I see pics on the gram and everything. This is like, we can't let them out of the house anymore. Like the clients so much that we just keep them inside. So now I'm wondering, like, is there gonna be a Netflix series about me someday because of how I have to raise them? They're like a shed family. Like Hannah or whatever. Yeah, yeah.

I chain them to radiators at night. This is for their safety. All right. He taught them to kill at an early age. I got them all in Jiu-Jitsu. Learn how to fight. They'll be fine. Don't worry. Do you really? Yeah. Not bad. Jiu-Jitsu. That's pretty good karate. You butchered whatever you tried to say. Jiu-Jitsu. Jiu-Jitsu. Yeah, there you go. All right. Let's get into some fucking argue garbage questions here, Mr. Tim Butterly. Like I said, I'm fascinated by the Butterly family now. I just want that on record that I want to hear a little bit about that too. So maybe we can go back and forth a little bit. All right. Happy to get him with some of the basics. Kip, what do you think? Sure. Let's do it.

All right. So you go ahead. No, go, go, go. You live in the same house growing up. Correct. You're in that house now. You made a lot of improvements to it. Some improvements. You made some improvements. Very interesting. What's the, what was the bathroom like growing up? Did you have a curtain? Did you have a glass? Did you have a curtain? Yeah. The bathtub or just a shower? There was a bathtub, but I don't remember ever being able to fit in it, but that might have been a fat thing. Jesus Christ. How fat were you when you're a little kid? Bro, I was probably your size now when I was a kid. That's a big boy. I was a fat boy, dude. I used to, my older brothers, my older half brothers, they used to make, to make their friends

laugh. They would make me make a frog face with my fat tits and belly. Like if I pulled my toes down and it kills, it kills. Yeah. Well, it fucking kills yourself, dude. Yeah. I like, I like how we have both of you. One went the other way. One went the other fully. Like, that's a good bit. But it's like, no, it made me change my life for the better. Well, he's like, dude, that's my clothes on the road. I don't tell nobody, but do you know how many truffle shuffles I had to do when I was like 10 years old? Tell me, dude, it makes you bully proof because someone bigger is going to want to keep laughing at that. You know what I mean? It's true. How did you get so big? What was your

emotional eating? Yeah, my parents didn't know anything about nutrition. So it was just like, they trust you to feed yourself. And I was like, all right, well, I will trust myself to eat fucking pop tarts six hours a day. That was your move. That's what you, that's, that was your poison. Sweet breakfast. That was your heroin. For sure. Yeah. For sure. Sweet breakfast. And my, oh, my dad's also an incredible cook. So we had like crazy good home cooked meals every single night. What's a sweet breakfast? Just like only pastries. Yeah. Not like, you know, he's not doing eggs, not proteins and healthy fats. I've never heard that. That's trash. I like a sweet breakfast. It's either a sweet or a savory. Sure. I see what you're saying.

But there were sweet and his fucking eyes started rolling back in his head. Yeah, right. Fat kid shit. Oh my God. Because he didn't know there was an alternative. He said, wait, wait a minute. Isn't that kind of redundant? It's just breakfast. Did you just say breakfast, breakfast? Literally the first question on my list is, have you ever gone to a wedding at a VFW or Knights of Columbus? But have you ever been to the Pennsylvania State Fair? No, no, dude, that's above me, I would say. That's above my station. Or maybe, maybe I did. You know what? We did do a lot of race track in Ben Salem.

Yeah, dude, we didn't get we didn't get that far north of the city very often. We did a lot of Clemonton Park when I was a kid. Oh my God. For the listener, this is fucking trash. Clemonton Park. I haven't been back since I was a kid. Is that really is it? Is it that? Well, I know it's bad now, but was it bad when we were kids? They test IEDs out there now. That's what they do. That's how shitty this place was. I remember in kindergarten, we went there and I had a we had like a yarn name tag where you wrote your own name. It would be useless to identify me, by the way, if I was separated from a river. They had a petting zoo. So I was like, Oh, there's animals that aren't pigeons here.

This is fancy. You know what I mean? And just pigeons painted a different color. Yeah, right. Just says goat with a sign. Hooves taped onto pigeons. I'm stuck. I think a baby goat ate my name tag off of me. Like, first of all, that was the safety of it. Well, it was a petting zoo. It reached through and it ate my name tag off. And I always thought of it as like a charming memory. And there's just it is. It is at that age. It is. But like looking back, like, dude, I love the love the good petting zoo growing up. And I was actually at the Pennsylvania State Fair. They had one. And me and my buddy gave the pot belly pig bubblegum. And he just sat there and

chewed it for an hour and a half straight, dude. And we fuck it was the funniest day of my life. Did you guys take turns pretending it was talking? Yeah, what do you want to do? I'll get nuts. What are you doing? How did I not know that? Oh, really? Shout out to me and my, me and my boy, Pat. You know, what kind of hillbilly shit? Who the fuck would even think of that? Hey, man, let's give the pigs some gum. I don't know. Well, they used to put the quarters in and they had like the feed that would come out of the like the gumball slots, you know, it was like a gumball machine with half a pig seed. Yeah, with like goat feed or whatever. It was just

like brown food that they would eat. And we ran out our quarters or whatever. We had a couple, you know, some bubble tape on us or something. They fucking got busy. Line them up with a hubba bubble. Let's do this. I fucking rules. Wow, that's fucking climbing Tim Park. It's tough, though. That's that's a tough look. Yeah, like we weren't brazen enough to play pranks on animals. But we enjoyed it all the same. They had, oh, they had the world's oldest wooden roller coaster or something like that. And I don't know if it's still operational. I think I was near the end of them decommissioning a ride. Yeah, that's I remember. I remember going to places with wooden roller coasters and I was

like, what? My dad like, get on it safe. I'm like, dude, get the fuck out of here. I think we saved up to go to six, six flags one summer. And when I went on like a six pack of coke, a couple of cans of coke, the coupons saved up. Most people have a college fun. You have a great adventure. I only found out like five years ago that there were beaches that you have to pay to be on. Yeah, fuck that beach tank shit. I'll tell you. Yeah, I don't pay to be on it. But like, yeah, I didn't know there was anything other than North Wildwood. That's where I spent my whole fucking that's where I quarantined for the last three months was North Wildwood. Whoa. It is a different world down there, baby. Wait. So in the preseason,

it wasn't even open yet. No, it's not open. Well, it's kind of open the board with some of the things on the boardwalk are open. But yeah, I went down there in the beginning of March and I just came back like last week. I was down this weekend. The shirt airbrushes are showing up for preseason practice. Dude, it's like they still got like the like the basketball game with like the beat it with the Denniden rims where the basketball barely fits. I'm like, nothing's changed in this place in fucking 25 years. It's frozen in time. It's incredible. They just keep it. I think they had like a laser tag place in the 90s on there and they just update it with like the new like now it's like a VR enrolled ice cream place. But that's the one thing that changes. Yeah.

Dippin Dots and VR. Yeah, exactly. I saw off brand Dippin Dots yesterday at Walmart. Did you try it out? No, I didn't try them out. I never had Dippin Dots. Whoa, really? Now we were never allowed to get them. It was too expensive. Same. The 90s, they were fucking hot. You had to buy them out of a kiosk at the mall. Yeah. And my mom took one look at that thought it was a scam. She's like, oh, yeah. We've never had kiosk money, dude. Ah, no. The only place we went that was kiosk was they used to be this place in the malls called maybe it's local, but it was called Joe Ann's Nut House. And it was like just a candy kiosk where you buy like candy by the

pound like, you know, like chocolate covered peanuts and all that kind of stuff. And my aunt knew somebody that worked there. So we'd literally go in like one day a year with the whole family extended family, too. We'd all go. Yeah, we'd all go to the mall together. We'd caravan up to King of Pressure Mall, hit the fucking food court, do some shopping, a lot of window. And then when we got done, we hit Joe. You're kicking tires at Foot Locker. I just want to see myself in this pair of fucking air maxes. Let me potential customer. Can I as at 11 years old, I would have been blown away by getting $14 in free candy once a year. Yeah, that's such that shows how trashy your family is, though. You get a you get a fucking, you know, a chocolate covered pretzel

connect and the whole family rolls up. We would, babe. It was like the lift tons of ice. We'd walk in with a fucking suitcase, just walk out like we own the joint. Dude, that's trash. That is some say two pounds of caramel, some say three pounds of caramel. Guys are putting Ziploc bags in your pocket so you can fill them up. Foley's 26 candy highs to the century. Oh my God, dude, that is garbage. What was the name of your grocery store growing up? Shopping bag. Oh my God. Shopping bags are that that's regional, right? That's regional. I think it's carbonable. Yeah. Shopping bags are tough. Shop right is okay, but the one even I've been to the shop right a lot in your neighborhood. That's a that shop

right is fucking something else. But yeah, that that shop rights like it's lowbrow for sure. But it's got like the comfort of like you ever go to someone's mom's house and it smells like soup. That's what shop right is. It doesn't feel dangerous. It feels like, you know, all right, better, you know, I better be on my fucking best behavior here. Yeah. Shopping bag. Yeah, that's like Beirut. Hold on, man. Did you hear the way my mom rolled off his tongue? Is that what you called your grandma, my mom? No, my my mom was Graham. I had Graham, but rest in peace, dude. Who was your mom? Shout out to Graham. No, I never said my mom, dude. That's that's for that's to make everybody else more comfortable. We said grandma.

When I was a small kid, we said grandma. Okay, because that was like the fanciest thing about me. I guess when I heard other kids saying like, mom, mom and pop up, I was like, or like, I'm sorry. It's weird. It's real. Call your grandmother a pet name. What are you a fucking loser? Yeah, dude. No, I completely agree with you. Right? Saying grandmother made me feel normal. Why did you say mom when you did when you explained it? Because I'm not trying. I'm not putting on airs anymore, dude. It is what it is. I don't need to church up my fucking my destitute grandmothers anymore, dude. They were my mom. Oh, that's great. Yeah, I can't say that people say shit like me mall. Get the fuck out of here. We got a couple of those. Have you ever

have you ever worked at a supermarket? Yeah, first job at me. Ah, mine too. All right. I started out as a bagger. And it as a bagger. You want it? You want a fucking garbage job overnight shelf stocker? Oh, my God, dude. At East Philly Acme. Go ahead. Jesus Christ. It's so true. It's so true. I used to put a pin in that my family owns a construction company that works that fixes that shop right in on our mingo or whatever. And we would have to go in overnight because people from the neighborhood would come in and rip out the sinks and the toilets for the copper. So like, that's that's the level of poverty and scumbag. But we would have to go in overnight and you would

see those dudes stock in the shelves and they are dude, those guys are cut from another fucking cloth. A lot of meth, a lot of Mountain Dew. I remember a lot of weird eye contact. They were very, they were very, they had specific opinions about the box cutters that they used and they always wanted to talk about it. That was the main thing I picked up from those guys. Jesus. A lot of, a lot of not being at work because you were arrested. Oh, my big thing though was that at my Acme, they didn't clean the bakery at night. So there was always like cookies and shit left in it. You know what I mean? Like the cookies that were supposed to get thrown out. So I would constantly just do a lap. I'd like put some fucking chips on the

shelf, do a lap, grab a cookie. So it was just like eight hours overnight of just eating flour and sugar. And then I would get home at like eight in the morning and fucking crash on it. That's, did you have another job or that was your only job? That was, yeah, that was my only job until I got, I got into IT. That's to choose the work, to work the graveyard shift is a fucking, if you have to do it because you have like kids and you're like, I work days and then nights, sure, I'll get you that. But if you're just like, well, I'm kind of a night guy, you're a fucking creep. But you're a graveyard shift guy. By choice, by choice he is. He was begging. He could have stayed bagger. I'm a reformed graveyard shift guy. Well, here's how I thought about it, right?

I was my first job like the summer after high school and it was very clear I was never going to college. So I was a part time fucking grocery bagger and there's no next step. So all I was doing was I was imagining myself at 65 years old, like, well, did I save enough money from bagging groceries at all? Also, no one teaches you about ambition and like goals and that kind of shit. Like it was just, okay, you didn't die and you didn't get addicted to anything. You have a clear record yet. Like I was the fucking white sheep and I don't know. I probably should have just become a fucking cop or something. But what I was a fucking dork. I knew enough about fixing fucking computers that now, now without ever going to college, I'm like, I have a pretty

fucking sweet IT job. Yeah, man. So again, dude, garbage adjacent, man. The Phoenix is the first on the ashes. Exactly. Kippy's on your side, buddy. I like this. Well, I mean, I know, I literally, I know what you came from and I know that it's like, you know, the fact that you're even where you are isn't a fucking accomplishment. This is this is what fucking dad meat is literally about every single episode is just about waking up every day saying I am a fat, fucking gay retard. But let's see what we can do with it. Yeah, it's fine. It's moving and shaking. I like it. All right, let's see. Anyone in your family ever collect state quarters? I just used a bunch of them as money.

Kippy, that was a fucking snipe. Now, what do you mean? He's a good kid. He rose up from the ashes. I know what it's like to be in that neighborhood. Look at him. I teach job nice families. Do you guys take two dollar bills? Dude, I've asked that in the not so not so distant past. I've asked that question. Take a two from me. Do you remember when a sack of your way of dollars came out? Oh, yeah. Do I? You brought the date down at my house. Yeah, I found a folding like display booklet for the state quarters. I had that exact one. Turned it upside down, shook it out. And yeah, I found 10 of the sack of joy of dollars.

And even now, as a 34 year old man, a part of my brain was like, these are the first 10 dollars that I'm going to use to get out of this shithole. You know what I mean? That's still, that's a part of my brain. Any money that I find that isn't taxed. I'm like, I'm going to start a new life, basically. It's a savings bond. He's waiting. Yeah. Gonna let this baby mature and I'm good. Dude. Oh, man. Well, that was such, that's such a garbage thing. It's in the great in you to be like, these quarters are going to be worth, that's having no idea of how money works, economies, currency, nothing. You're just going. Beanie babies. Oh, that's yeah. Beanie,

but collecting the shift from McDonald's too. Like, these are going to be worth something one day. Yeah, dude. Oh my God. That was hard to get out of my brain. Like, especially like, when you hear that shit as a kid and then you want to like collect Pokemon cards, where I, my parents never bought me one Pokemon card. I don't think that they ever work in a game value. I was never like, dude, I'm going to day trade these when I'm older, but trading Pokemon. Yeah. What's that called arbitrage where you're just like, you know, you buy something. Yeah, exactly. Here at Stratton, butterly, we like to do. Oh God. There was, this is the worst possible version of this. When I was a kid, one of the cool things that we did was we explored

abandoned factories and warehouses and shit. Like you break a window. We don't say like a dry rotted door. You would just like, you'll kick it until it's big enough to get through. And me and me and this fucking kid who is now dead from heroin, we found a bunch of the, the ratcheting clamps that tie shit down onto the back of a flatbed truck. Yeah. And he convinced me. He's like, dude, we got to flip these. You know, much of the, one of the things, one of these things is like 50 bucks. And we found like a bunch of them in an abandoned warehouse. So I was like, uh, making, I, oh God, this is so fucking stupid. I was like making plans with this dude. I was like, dude, all right, first of all, we're going to need a way to get them all

out of here at once. Okay. Uh, once we transport them, we need to play a safe place to keep them. So we were like looking at like areas near railroad tracks that we could leave these without someone like stealing them or a fucking pissing on them. Uh, and then I, I fucking told my dad about it. I was like, Hey dad, uh, I want to cut you in. I want to cut you in before this thing takes off. I'll let you wet your beak a little bit. You know what I mean? Hey dad, you got 12 grand and 15 minutes. I got an idea. I got an investment opportunity. You got keys to a pickup truck. I was like 12 years old and I was like, dad, just so you know, man, we might have a little bit of money coming our way. Do you fuck? I need you to understand that this is not the joke version

of this story, dude. This fucking sucks. Holy shit. I just, I, I, I picture one of these dad coming in from a long day where Cain's all greasy. Just, just fixed the fucking family car. He's sitting there with like a cigar and a cognac. Like dad, things are different now. I don't know if you heard, I found some ratchet clamps. Have you seen ratchet clamp futures recently? We're going to be rich. Oh my God. Dude, that is garbage DNA right there. My dad extracted me from the plan and he did it without my feelings. He talked out of you walked away. Yeah. And then he was like, on top of that, actually, this was a solid move. He was like, please stop going into a bed. Sure. Yeah. That same abandoned building found the fucking clamp come up. Also found a bunch of

discarded porno VHS covers, bro. Oh, that's just the covers. Yeah, just the covers, which was good enough because that it eliminated the risk of finding a VCR and using it. You know what I mean? Yeah. I don't know if you've ever tried to secretly use a VCR in a row home. Oh yeah, it's not good, especially when you're rewinding in fast forward and like a fucking like an editor. Yeah. And your parents are like sitting at the dining room table looking upstairs like that thing's been going for like 45 minutes. You're trying to find the one thing that you want over and over again. Sure. This is a big, did you ever have just the, just the VHS rewinder? Absolutely not. You're talking about privilege there, bro. My body had one and I walked up my

fucking head exploded when he busted that thing out to return a movie. I was like, what the fuck? That is, that is actually pretty, that's high level of garbage when you're, when you own a device that just makes returning rented VHS. Sure. Because you think it's good. That's the garbage thing. I was like, oh, this, I need this. Yeah, you put it by the front door. Yeah. It's like what Ricky Bobby would buy. You know what I mean? It's like that kind of trash. If you had real money, you'd be paying someone to rewind your movies. Exactly. You just pay the fee, drop it off, whatever dude. I got it. I got 99 cents. Wasting my time, rewinding a fucking movie. Fuck. All right. What do you got Fatso? Hey, man, have you ever owned a PO box? No. No, that's, that's again, dude, any added

expense outside of the realm of possibility for me. Actually, like, and although now I do realize that PO boxes are for trash, I just, I just was a couple of weeks. During the Good was ever sent or received from a PO box. Well, I always saw them on like, like when you would order shit on TV, I'd see PO boxes there. So I was like, oh, that's a business thing. You don't need a fucking PO box. But I need there for the, for the buckle business. So I actually had to go, I had to retrieve mail from the post office a couple of weeks ago and I took my 12 year old with me. And there was a long line, obviously, and we're social distancing. So it's moving slow. You're, you're standing in there for a long time. And on top of seeing

two fucking sleepyheads falling asleep, standing up, just the, the people cycling in and out, checking their PO box and like slamming it shut because there was nothing in it. Like, check they're waiting on something. Yeah. Yeah. You could feel the intention of whatever they're expecting. Again, though, I just, I, I symboled my daughter to this. I'm like, look at this, dude, this could all be yours if you just make terrible decisions for the rest of your life. Keep it up. You'll have a fucking PO box. Yeah, you got a PO box, a fucking one sandal that'll be fucking tight. Oh man. All right. Let's see. Have you, this might be good. Have you ever gone to a scrapyard to find a part for your car?

Man, I need to right now and I'm planning on doing it, but I'm afraid to do it. What do you need? I gotta get a new bumper for my wife's car. That's an easy pickup out of scrap. Out of scrap yard. I don't know that. It's a, it's a, it's actually not a bad car. It's a Volvo from 2011. So it's pretty fancy for me. Pretty good. I'll have it ready. I'll have it waiting for you. Bro, they, they can sense that I'm not fully one of them. I do. That's always such a fear of mine when I walk in on like, they know I'm not one of these guys. You don't need a whole new engine. Yeah, exactly. So a lot of my dealings with like shit that should come second nature, like I should very easily, and I know how to fix a thing or two, right? I can't go to a fucking

a pickup part place because I'm just like, I'm going to get there and be like, look at this fucking pussy. It's going to be a thing. And I just don't want to, I don't want the, the tension. It's sure. Sure. Dude, that, that, that happened to me when during quarantine, I went down a while. It's, I'm like, ah, killing time down here. I'm like, I'll go fish. There was a fishing rod in the garage. So I went out fishing. So then I'm like, I got to find Bay and I was like, yeah, I need bait. And they're like, well, what are you going for? I'm like, ah, here we go. This is a fucking thing. And then I get it. And then I'm out there fishing. Some guy comes up and goes, ah, they biting. I'm like, here we go. Now I got to talk to you. Like a bad FBI agent.

Yeah. He just, I don't have the answers you're looking for. He's like, what do you talk fishing? And I'm like, dude, I'm just getting out of the house. Just, I'm going to leave you stay here. I threw it out twice and I casted it twice, brought it back in and the conversation. I was like, I got to go. Oh man. I, part of me wonders, like, do those people just want to talk? You know what I mean? And that's just their way. Sure. For sure. And like, I get it, man. Imagine that that's like, that's like me going to like a baseball game and like talking about baseball to the guy next to me. Like, ah, just see that play. Like he's talking to me about fishing while we're standing on the rocks fishing. That's not out of this world, you know?

But like, that's like a poor people defense mechanism. Like everyone's got, you know, everyone's got like a grift to them. Everyone. There's a second. Sure. What are you missing while he's just talking to you for in a friendly way? Yes. Yeah. So you grow, that's ingrained in you as you, as you grow up and then everyone, everyone, it's like, what's your, what's your ulterior motive here, dude? How are you going to fuck me on this? Sure. And it sucks because, you know, that's probably a guy who raises people that way. And now when he just tries to be friendly with a guy at the pier, he's like, another guy just fucking pulled his line in and left. I was just trying to say, well, I was just trying to say Yoko's. What's up?

Yeah, man. That's so true. My mom is so weary of everything. I always thought it was like, you know, like, it's like very cat, like Irish Catholic, like fear driven to like everything. But don't look at that. That's how they get you, dude. Everything's, that's how they get you. It's so fear driven. Fully, fully, you are fully turning into his mom every time I talk to him. Well, what about this? And what about the killer wasp? And what about that? It's, I don't, I'm friendly, right? And like, I love all people, but I can't stand like, especially when I'm doing something trashy, like when like somebody tries to strike up a conversation with you and McDonald's, like, you believe they're taking this long or I was going to Home Depot and Walmart the other

day. And like, as we're walking in, there's like, you know, people behind me, like, I wake out of where these masks and they don't know what they're doing. And I'm just like, yeah. Yeah. Like everyone's, everyone's got secret knowledge. You know what I mean? That's, that's real garbage behavior. It's like, yeah, I can't, I can't just do what the sign says, dude. Come on. Exactly. Exactly. That is garbage. All right. I want to know, take me into the butterly house now. Okay. All right. You're here. I'm here. Close your eyes. I know the kids are getting a little bit older. What's the snack situation at the butterly house? First of all, still pop tarts. Yeah, still pop tarts. It's pretty good.

Wow. Go ahead. Sorry. You're going to say something else though. Well, I was going to ask you about that. I was going to get into dinner. First, I was going to ask, like, do you guys have dinner every night together? Absolutely. We sit down at the dinner table every single night together. Home cook meal. Almost always a home cook meal. My wife's a stay at home mom, dude. Dude, this kid's all fucking class. Stay at home mom. I didn't even have to do a slip and fall. That ain't bad. That was the trade off. She brought it for mayor. What would be a district councilman in Kensington? Stay at home mom. Dinners on the table every night. Yeah, we decided early on we would be very happy to just be poor,

but focus on our kids because we started having kids when we were like 22. Wow. Didn't know that we shouldn't do that. Yeah, I mean. Accidental kids and I think I was just emulating my dad every step of the way. Just doing the worst possible option for everything, but also being guided by this internal poor person righteousness. Like all obviously I'm going to do the right thing here and raise children in poverty. How old are your children now? The ones, the, the, your little girl and your little boy that I met back in the day. They're 12 and nine. 12 and nine. And you have a little one too, right? We have a three year old that you didn't meet. Let me ask you a question. Okay. Settle something

for us. You sit down every night. You're having dinner. Okay. What are the kids drinking? Are they having iced tea? Are they having soda? What do you give your kids to drink while they're having dinner at night? Sometimes are my son dead. He's nine. Sometimes he'll have a soda. We limit him on the soda. What kind of soda are we talking? Dude, you're going to think he's a nerd. I got him into ginger ale. That's pretty classy. But does he drink it with one pinky in the air? That's fucking classed. A nine year old drinking ginger ale. Come on, man. I conditioned them so that like, if I let him have a mountain do, he's like, Oh my God, dude, it's party time with dad.

Dad's letting me fucking party tonight. This is so fucking sick. My daughter does not drink soda. She hates how, how fizzy it is. And we kept her up at an early age when they would see me drinking soda if they were ever like curious about it. And they asked and they wanted some. Let me preface it with this. When I was getting another big fat thing for me, powdered iced teemix. Oh, you're talking to two previous fatsoes. Come on, the four seasons. Let's do it, dude. I love when you're in control, don't you? When you got the scooper. Not somebody out there corporate telling me how much mix to put in. I like it when I am behind the wheel.

Yeah. You know what? I, you know what? I really loved about the powder ice team mix when you would open it and that little dust cloud would shoot up. Get it into your lungs, dude. If there was enough of it, you could inhale it and then exhale smoke. You could get it. It would coat your lungs on the way in and then there would be nowhere else to coat it on the way out. So we would exhale it. Mouth freezing powdered ice team. It was my fucking shit. Sometimes I just like lifted up an inch and drop it back on the counter. So you get a second waft. That's stood powdered ice tea. No parents home. That's fucking summertime, baby. Good night. So the first time I got in shape was I realized how much sugar I was drinking every day

of my life. Yeah. So I tried to keep my kid. I never wanted to have fat kids because I, which I always feel like my hangups are primarily from being poor and fat. Never wanted to have fat kids. And I just don't want to look at them. I don't want to look at a fucking fat kid. You still here? I sort of got it. When I see someone with like a fat kid, I'm just like, God, dude, that's got to be the worst. But they're so cute and adorable. I didn't feel cute and adorable when I was a kid. They don't feel cute and adorable and they don't grow up to be cute and adorable. I still feel like a physical nuisance everywhere I go in my 100%. I am currently a physical nuisance. Dude, I'm breaking chairs, beds, fucking box springs,

the whole night. I think I shifted the toilet upstairs at my parents' house, although I kept it on the low. All of a sudden it was like leaking a little bit underneath. She's like, the ring must be not placed in right. I'm like, yeah. So floating toilet, dude. It's not attached to anything. That's the worst when you sit on a toilet and you can feel it go side to side a little bit. Oh yeah. Great dude. I'm going to bust out the seams. Dude, my wife just bought a hammock and we went down to the, like along the Hudson and we hung it and she's like, do you want to get in? I'm like, I was a fat kid my whole life. We do not put ourselves in a position to embarrass ourselves in public like that. I'll try this in the comfort of my own home. Okay. I've never gotten

in a hammock without my fucking ass cheeks just scraping back and forth on the ground. Sure. Everyone thinks they're fucking high up. So at an early age, when my daughter tried to try soda, I convinced her it was actually spider milk. Wow. What the hell spider milk? There's just something you made up. Yeah. She'd be like, can I try some of that? I'd be like, oh, you want some of my spider milk? And then she'd go, ew. And it just lasted long enough that she lost any curiosity about it. Never had any interest. It was a cute thing. I would make my wife laugh. Like this little joke, right? She's never got into soda and she's a fucking athlete. It's perfect. Wow. It's pretty tight. So what would they drink mostly growing up?

Water, milk, apple juice. My daughter did have a chocolate milk problem for a while. Dinner? Yeah. Milk for dinner is that's fucking trash. I walked them right into that. I know. Foley is still currently a big milk for dinner kind of guy. I think my sister still does milk for dinner. That's trash. 100 percent. No way around it. She was real big on milk with spaghetti. That's the big thing. Milk with spaghetti. I hate it. Why does this keep coming up on this podcast? Everybody because it's awesome. It's so divisive. How could you possibly enjoy that? It's insane to me. Delicious. You shouldn't. You shouldn't consume anything with milk that you wouldn't put in a milkshake. That's pretty good. Pretty. That's true. That's a perfect rule. That

is a perfect. What else? Meatloaf. You shouldn't be drinking with pizza. Nothing. Listen, spider milk. Take it easy. All right. Give me that. And apple juice. That's the trashiest of all juices. Is it? No. No. No. Are we talking about Martinelli's? That sparkling stuff? Listen, I don't. I don't. I haven't seen Tim in a long time, but I can tell you from his answers thus far he is not a Martinelli's kind of guy. I don't even heard of Martinelli. I don't know Martinelli. Get out of here. I went to school with Steve Martinelli. Fucking terrible. How not to Martinelli's apple juice, baby? No, store brand. Store brand. Mott's was all right. No, apple. Apple juice is apple juice is okay,

but you shouldn't be drinking milk with fucking dinner. Never an apple juice family. Kids are stupid, man. I don't know what to tell you. This is dumb as shit. Well, we got the milk thing settled. Kippy, what else you got for him? I just got one more. Yeah. All right. Growing up and or currently, were you a bagel bites or pizza rolls family? I celebrated the entire catalog. I think bagel bites might have been like, you know, the bills were kind of light this month. Sure. These are rules were a staple. Mm hmm. Do do rich people eat foods that injure your mouth every single time you eat them?

I don't think so. And I think if they do, there would be, they get some because they get some kind of organic version of it, like, you know, Amy's pizza nuggets, organic, you know, I don't know. I mean, you have to think like, because they were fucking, you know, any frozen pizza or micro, you know, microwaveable or anything. It depends on how long the family's had money, I think, because like when you have a trashy person gets money that just shows how trashy they can be without limit, you know what I mean? So like, I don't think, you know, like fucking wealthy, wealthy families probably aren't doing fucking bagel bites. Or they're doing them in the oven for sure. The oven definitely not a toaster oven or microwave.

Yeah. And you know, I knew growing up had like, they knew exactly the time that they would have put it because the time for each microwave was different. Never what's on the box. I'm sure there's a million 90s bits about that microwave bagel bites. Like, yeah, dude. And with the pizza rolls, they were in the middle, they were ice cold up until like a perfect like, it had to be like three minutes and four seconds at 305. They were the surface of the sun. Yeah. Yeah. And at 303, they're frozen still. Can I say something? Shoot. This is gonna sound real trashy. My move was always to try to shoot to get them a little bit underdone. Because when you bit into the nuclear hot part, if there was a little frozen piece left inside,

it would cool your mouth down. So you went medium rare pizza rolls. Well, I didn't know you were such an aristocrat. Jesus. I like my pizza rolls a little loud that day. Slice it thin. I like a slice thin. Dude, that is ultimate trash. Seriously, ultimate trash. I think having any kind of nuanced opinion about this food at all is gross. 100%, but that's what this whole podcast is. Exactly. Well, it's my life. Because I love that about hot pockets too. Have a nice little cold, cold spot in the pocket just to cool you down halfway through. Depending on what kind of pocket it was for sure. That's a dangerous game. You bite into a mouth scolding hot pocket and you're like, I know there's a cold front. If I just get

a little bit deeper in. Yeah. And you got to sometimes you got to turn it around in your mouth to fuck with the temperatures. You want it even. It's holy shit. Well, hold on. Why we're kind of on this subject. What kind of frozen pizzas did you do growing up and now? I considered Elio's like a blessing when I was okay. We were big. I went back to Elio's recently. They hold up as far as. Oh, fucking hell. Hell yeah. Big fan. They were about it for the whole quarantine. Yeah, we're big. Elio's family. But grown up in in the Philly and it's probably true in most cities. We didn't do a lot of frozen pizzas because you were never more than a 30 second walk from a slice to 75 cent or a dollar slice. So I, you know, anytime I got a dollar, I was like sick. I'm

going to go eat pizza. I love frozen pizza. Did you guys have any hot candies when you grew up? Like very like cool. Like I remember at one point we had the watermelon shaped lollipops hit the scene near my school. I don't remember those. Oh, you mean I thought you meant spicy. No. Well, yeah, dude, come on, dude, warheads. Yeah, some warheads. What do you remember when warheads hit and when fucking airheads hit and like you had to have them and like everybody in school was having them and when if you could get the white kind of airhead that was and you would like you would pack them down into the corner. You would ever do that. Like shake them and it all moves into like a ball. No, it turns into a bite size. If you take the end of an airheads thing and shake it,

it'll slide all the way down into the one end of the wrapper. That sounds like that sounds like a gusher kind of bomb. Little flavor bomb. Yeah, that's it. We had these gummy candies. I think they might have been Ninja Turtles, but they came in like a clear individually wrapped clear plastic tray and you peeled the back off and ate them. Oh, yeah. Those were a staple. And then yeah, you know, I'm talking about. Yeah. And I know what you're talking about with the watermelon slices. They also have different flavors, but those were fucking huge. Those. Yeah, I was a kid. I was a child of the 80s, man. It all fucking happened. Those were those watermelon lollipops hit us around the time that kids started like making out. And I was just out in the cold on both.

What? They were like a quarter. You couldn't get a couple. Bro, first of all, you had to ration your quarters. My parents, I think my parents was at me school with like 50 cents or it was like exact change for an Arctic Splash iced tea. I was just going to ask for an Arctic Splash kid. Yeah. I mean, that's first of all, if you started the entire podcast with Arctic Splash, it would have been over for me. Sure. But yeah, that an individual pretzel. I remember going down to my cousins and hold on. That was lunch. No, that was like they had snack time at school. And you had to pay for snacks. It was a Catholic school and bastards. Yeah, right. They brought around a pretzel tray. You bought your pretzel and you know, that's so trash that that's what

they go around in Philadelphia schools with fucking saw. Arctic Splash and that's that's like horse feed. We would go we would go to them at the corner store because we would come in from the suburbs to go to my cousin's house in Port Richmond. So like a corner store was like crazy for us. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah, you can walk to go get candy and snacks. That's ultimate childhood autonomy. Oh, yeah, dude, for sure, for sure. So we walk in. I remember it was Jiggles on Gull and fucking on Gull and Allegheny. And dude, when they closed, they were like, we're closing and our Arctic Splash was like no long. They were at something that was happening. They got into a fight. We went down with crates to buy all the Arctic

Splash in the fucking store. That's how fucking garbage we were. I have I have an Arctic Splash in a Ziploc bag on top of my fridge that I had signed by UFC former UFC lightweight champion, Eddie Alvarez. He grew up in the neighborhood and he was doing like a signing at like a Metro PCS around the corner from my house. So I walked around, I got him to sign an Arctic Splash and now I have it. I forgot to empty it. So now like the liquid like made the thing swell in the heat. It's it's it's gross. Is that what you're banking on for the down payment on the new mortgage is exactly right next to my state quarters. Yeah, it's taking place in the quarters. Oh my God, Tim Bartley, buddy, this has been absolutely amazing. Kippy, what's your what's

your verdict here? Trash for sure. I mean, there's no way around it. He was was we grew up with trash here, but he's making it, you know, he made a he made a right turn. He's raising a good family. He's got a stay at home wife. You know what I mean? She's his wife's got a fucking a volts wagon that he needs a he needs a front end. But yeah, he's moving moving towards class for sure. Absolutely. Yeah. You're all class, Bartley. You're all class here. Good man. Anything you want the folks out there to know other than to make sure that they check out the dad meet podcast with Tim Bartley and Mike Rainey. No, man, it's just really great to spend

some time with you guys seriously. I mean, I mean, this would have been fabulous without recording it. Congratulations on all your success. Congratulations on moving the fucking gas. You too, buddy. Thank you very much. I appreciate that. I I've had the pleasure of following you guys all the way from Philly. And I mean, the the effort and creative. What would you call it? You've made you've made something very distinct and it's been really cool to watch it grow. And I got to see the work that you put in before are you garbage and it's all been leading to this. And it just I don't know, man. It's I I'm just happy to be here with you guys for a little bit. But thank you, man. That's nice. I'm all choked up over here. Thank you so much.

No problem, man. You're a good man, buddy. Thank you so much for playing. Thank you so much for being on gang. Make sure you check out the dad meet podcast. Follow Tim butterly at on Twitter. Yeah, I'm Tim butterly on everything. Excellent. Very nice. Make sure you check them out. But you're the best. Thank you, Kippy. What do you got? Just that Kevin Ryan comedy on all social media and also if you haven't already, please rate, review, subscribe on iTunes and also full video available on YouTube. You can subscribe there. Thanks for listening. Yes, sir. And gang, please do us a favor. Come along with us to the gas digital network. If you want to sign up for gas digital, you can use promo code A Y G and you'll get a dollar 50 off your subscription and

you're going to get a 14 day free trial. Use promo code A Y G. We're so excited for the move. And we will see you guys next week. Yep. Peace.