Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Tom Segura Returns!

Episode Date: July 10, 2023

Kippy and Foley are once again joined by Tom Segura! Thanks for listening. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! NEW LIVE SHOWS: https://areyougarbage.com/ Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/ PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Liquid IV: https://www.liquid-iv.com Promo Code: Garbage Ladder Life: https://www.LadderLife.com/GARBAGE birddogs: https://www.birddogs.com/Garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

Hey, Kippie, them tickets for the live show are flying off the shelf. You ain't lying. Gang, we just dropped a bunch of new cities. Stand up comedy, plus we played a little AYG with the crowd. It's a good, good time. Yeah, gang, we're coming to Phoenix, Denver, Salt Lake City, Los Angeles, San Diego, Washington, DC, Pittsburgh, Buffalo, Toronto, Pontiac, Michigan. Then we're going to Chicago, Illinois, we're going to Minneapolis, we're going to Madison, Milwaukee, Sacramento, San Francisco, San Jose.

And then the boys are coming back to Philly. The chickens are coming home to roast Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, in December. Get those tickets we love you. Yeah. Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Gobbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts Kevin Ryan and H Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's new favorite podcast.

This is R U Garbage. Oh yeah. So I will show you sit there with your favorite comedians and we find it at the group to be classy. Yeah. It's just a big old piece of trash. I'm your host, they truly come and add you on a swattering day. favorite comedians and we find it at the Grout to be classy. Yeah. Just a big ol' piece of trash. I'm your host, Dave Trolley coming at you on a sweltering day.

We're out back here at Tuddy's in the new edition. She's upstairs. She's got her feet propped up on a window unit. Trying to keep the merchant nice. Cool. What do I mean? My co-hosts coming at you from right next to me. He's the Prince of the Pan Pizza. He's the King of the Calzone. Give it up for the flat bread freak.

KJ Kevin James Ryan everybody. Get like a Zah. Man, you've been right and dude, you're coming and swinging on this one. What's up everybody. Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you're right. If you subscribe when I tune full video available on YouTube as you know, those numbers are fru-dero fucking cooking, baby. And then obviously the greatest website of all time, www.patrion.com. Sasha, garbage gang check it to fuck out it's a party over there baby. Yes sir and having a nice quick shout out to the magic man

number 17 on his jersey about nine and a half in the shorts lady. Give it up for T-bone Toby McMullen everybody. What a boy. What up T-bone. Nothing man I'm excited we got the boss of all bosses in your look we do. You look almost a mock turtle neck rock in there, too. Looks like looking like Sammy to bowl. That's a full turtle neck on a regular man. Gang the long hair ain't lying. We couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly. Uh-huh. And I mean incredibly special guests back with us again today.

Of course, he is the co-host of of two bears one cave the co-host of your mom house your mom's house he is the owner operator of why mh studio and he has a brand new special out on netflix right now currently sitting at number one entitled sledgehammer give it up for tom sighor everybody thank you thank you what i hope and yeah Thank you. That's my intro, man. Yeah, intro. It's my favorite podcast.

Oh, thank you. I'm party-want. Got it. Print it. That's all we needed from you. I get him out of here. Super happy to be back. Thank you for having me.

Thank you for coming in. Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, thank you. Fucking number one. Look at it. It's very exciting.

It is exciting. And you got the song, Tilly. You got the Peter Gabriel song up front. I had to write a chat. Yeah, that's why I was asking. Yeah, well that's the thing is like, all right, you can use your song mate. You can't push it, a couple bucks. Fucking a car, it's a BMW. It's the thing is, you know, I've done other ones

and a lot of times when they go, what do you want like to walk out or walk off to? And they give you like stock stuff, that's fine. Yeah, it's just like, but I was just like, I was trying to really make the special, special, and I was like, you know, because you can easily be talked about like you don't need to spend this money,

but I was like, yeah, but it kinda, it does add like an element of work. Of course, even as a couple of percent of like that's, that much cooler. It starts, you're like, oh shit. Soundtracks make fucking movies, right? What are we doing here? But I went way hard because I not only did that,

then I closed, I licensed a gang star song, and now you're mine. So I wrote, I bought two cars. But I just, I actually, I don't have any regrets about that. You know, I like this. You didn't have to reach out to him or anything, did you? No, that's not bad.

To Peter Gabriel. Oh, to Peter Gettin' Now. That was, that was just? No, that's a big reveal. Oh, Peter getting out. That was, that was just tough. Yeah, all right. Come to me, butte, potty. You can have it. You want a boat? Yeah, no, he, he said yes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fucking love it. We were thinking it's been a minute since you've been here. You were one of the few people that came up classy here on the pro brand. Yes, so what is like the very few people have gone on to games? Yes, very few people go and skate. However, when you were down there at the studios down there in Austin, yeah, Austin,

Christine and me. That's a thing. Yeah, but Christina P was saying, you know, maybe that might not be the case. Dig a little deeper, find a little dirt on the finger. I think she's right. And the thing is like, you know, you try to convey like in these kind of things, you're like, I want it to be accurate.

And that I didn't come from just like, it wasn't, I mean, look, I'm privileged, but I also, I very much remember the ascent. Sure, sure. So like, and sometimes when the questions come, you're trying to make that clear, but then people are like, don't try to fucking minimize.

But I remember us living in, like I wanna say, trashy places, but much more modest places. Of course. And then, as times went on. Yeah, then my dad just getting like, promote it. So all that, like it wasn't like that when I was, it wasn't like he was arrived when I was born.

So I do remember that very clearly. I also wanted to remember that when I first came on, we talked about Skyquando. We just wrapped on himself. We talked about Skyquando. I remember that why I am H. I told you, but I wanted to say on your show that I did take it out of StripMall and that it was with Master Hong Kong.

The great. And he gave me so many fucking belts. I'm a black tip. Keep up coming back, baby. One was snake skin. That was trash. We always say on was fucking, and that was trash. Yeah, and we always say on the show, the money doesn't, money doesn't mean it doesn't define.

You gotta be able to carry yourself, and you carry yourself very well. But we do wanna do, just dig, man. We'll play you back through the ringer a little. Let's dig, let's dig. See what we can, see what we can come up with. Oh, before this is a little bit of a side note before we get started, you're a car guy.

It's well documented, right? Yep, yep. I would like your advice. I recently, my car was stolen, so I'm in the market for a new car. It was stolen? Yeah. Kea Boy's got me. Who?

The Kea Boy's? Oh, the Kea Boy. They stink, I can jack my shit and we're hanging out in it. Okay. So I'm in the market for a new car. Guy like me. What would you recommend, guy like me, guess? What should I be driving around town? Keyes are in town. I mean look. I know how the patrons do so it's true to roof

Here's the thing are you do you my bad with money? Yes, okay very bad with money are you excited like here's a thing There's luxury guys that want to just be comfort, A is plus, that's nice. That's nice, okay. You're not high-performance guy. No, no, no, no. I mean, what about like just a benzo? What about, what can you do that?

Okay, like a straight ben, I want an SUV, I'm an SUV. Oh, you're SUV? I think an SUV, big guy. You're driving here in the city. Yeah. You don't want to do full-size SUV in this city. I want a big escalade, that's what I want.

Yeah, they're amazing. I love it. Those things't want to do full size SUV in the city. I want a big escalade. That's what I want. Yeah, they're amazing. I love them. Those things are like space ships. Those suck in LA and that's more space than here. So I had one there and I was like every time, it's great when you like pull out of your driveway and then as soon as you pull up to anything,

you're like, oh, everyone's like, what do you do? Like, at their mat at you for driving it. They're like, we can't park there. Am I good over there? Yeah, it's, they're so big. They're huge. What a, so you gotta get like a,

ooh, I got one for you. Lay it on me. Here we go. What about like a Porsche McCahn? What, that's, I don't, I, my family would disown me. Why? I can't, I have to.

You have to import it from Italy. But, a Porsche, I'm not a Porsche guy. And that's the SUV. Yes, the SUV. It's the small, they have a Cayenne, and they not a Porsche guy. And that's the SUV? Yes, the SUV. That's the small, they have a Cayenne, and they have a McCahn. McCahn is probably. I heard.

Okay. Yes, dude. Yes, and once you drive one, you're fucked. You'll never want to drive anything else. I was singing a great Cherokee or something. No, those are great. You're driving on a Ferrari Machiato. I wouldn't do a Ferrari.

No, I don't like a Ferrari. Do you have a Ferrari? No. That's't do Ferrari. I don't like the Ferrari. That's not a, no, no, no, no, no. I don't, I don't, I don't. Are you just not a Ferrari guy? I love Ferrari's. I just, I've never, I never got one. Really?

Yeah, it's a good idea. I should get one. He just pulls out his face. He's on Corvana right now. They're fucking amazing. Have you ever driven one? What are you talking about? I just told you my key of God's door. First of all, I think sleeping.

Most, look, if you, my belief is, if it's not a classic or a car that you're like, I definitely want this forever. I don't believe in, I only buy the cars that I'm like, this is, I want this. You want to keep it forever. You want this or it's like, it's special, it's a, yeah. So, I mean, I own the ones that you should own.

And then, and I think if you were getting something like that, I would lease that. Okay. I would lease that. All right. Last time you were here, speaking of which, that number was, I want to say around five or six. Yeah.

Was in the arsenal. Yeah. Is that going up? I've moved a lot of stuff around. Have you. I've sold a few things., but I have some things incoming. Okay. So, yeah.

That's rich guy shit. And I, this is, I'm building a garage off site to, Whoa. Yeah. The off site garage. It's nice to, like a nice chill place. That's very j-linable. That's like kinda like, yeah,, his you know what his holds?

Aircraft carry it holds like 250 cars. Seriously looks like long-term parking. It is a It does it's a fucking it's a facility has a staff. He's a full staff there. Damn. It's why are you gonna go something like that? No, no, no, it's it's much more tame than that security guard and a pit bull Steal for a fucking Texan. Yeah, cowboy looking for it shit kickers and shorts. That's only wears um Okay, I'm like it's a few it's a few I don't know it's a few cars, but like it's nothing crazy. It's not great wild There you go, Kippy, you got your answer. Yeah, I mean I got by no You're getting it. No, I was thinking, we're being honest, I was thinking range.

Range Rover? Yeah. And you think, wait, hold the fuck on. You think Porsche is outlandish, but you're thinking range Rover? Yeah, I come from, yeah, a poor, if you even, so I think anyone in my family's ever been in a Porsche. If it's a, okay, you going to do like Land Rover Defender or straight up

Range Rover? Discovery. Wait, I can't say he got shot down on a Lincoln. I did. I got. And it wasn't even trying to get. So what are we doing here? What are you talking about? I'm going to say you're trying to get a Lincoln and they're like, get the fuck out of here. Shut down. Dude, I was so embarrassed. They handed me a jeep chair. It was an ice cream. How long ago?

It was within the calendar week This guy I want It's a 750 I want to say how'd you get turned down? I was a bum. What do you mean? They wanted the Kia they wanted the Kia they wanted me to give them the that's curly under construction right now Dude they found four dudes in my kid It was crazy. So you go in there for a Lincoln what I went in for an aviator. I was a dope There's a guy was just too big my wife's got a drive it. That's too big for my wife to drive

The sun glasses on and everything Fly jacket That's too big for my wife to drive the sunglasses on and everything Flight jacket You about did you do this did you go like this when you were like we go aviator like that You guys take this I was going the hand signals the fucking land you guys take discover card He was texted the group check. Oh guys about the Lincoln dealership the 20 minutes later tonight He was texted the group check. Oh guys about the Lincoln dealership the 20 minutes later tonight Yeah, it was a door it was an open floor plan. I'm the only guy. I'm in there I'm like fucking I'm like yeah, I'll take this like real not trying to be cool I was trying to be a guy

I wasn't and man they then hide me and the whole night because my current car payments like $238 a month It's a fucking it's a key So then they were like yeah, no one goes from that They're like we don't trust you've never made a car payment. They're like you're a drug dealer. Yeah, for sure And then he started going what can you get your hands on today? And I'm like my hands I'm like I've got real mad. Yeah, I turned into a I stormed out of a place once real Yeah, yeah, this was like it was a number of years ago, but I was with Christina, and she wanted a Volkswagen bug. Okay.

So I go to the dealership and shows us one. Let me go to his office, and he was just like, he was like, yeah, so I go, so, what's a couple, what are we talking about? Were you rich at the time? No, okay. But it's like, here's the thing, like, we talking about? Will you rich at the time? No, okay, but I it's like here's the thing like We're just we look at the car having a conversation. It's not like a very expensive car at the time

Yeah, I was like you even relle yeah, it's like So I go can we look at you know this other one also I wanted to see this these and he goes What do you like this one and I go yeah? Like I just wanted to compare see what else you have and he goes, what do you like this one? And I go, yeah, like I just wanted to compare, see what else you have. And he's like, well, you know, if you, right away, he's like, if you can't afford it, you know, like maybe I was like, I was like,

and I just like, her I was like, let's go. And I stood up and I was gonna walk out, but before I went out, I stopped in the sales manager's office. And I didn't, I just opened the door manager's office. And I just opened the door. I saw him and I go, this guy's a real piece of shit. You fucking pay this guy? And he was like, excuse me.

And I was like, this fucking scum, I just went like on a rant. I've done that in a couple of dealerships where like I definitely walked out. I was like, that was a little too much. You are a big, That's a real dad shit, right? You have a bit of a psycho side.

I mean, I feel like everyone has triggers for things. Sure. Mine is definitely, if you're disrespecting. Oh, that's yeah. Yeah, I risk gets me bad. I definitely think violence first. Sure. Hey, I'm gonna write that with you.

I mean, assuming you can't afford a VW bug, is a pretty big insult. I wanted to gut this guy before. Like, I really did. I wanted to disembowel him in front of other sales people there's front of your wife, too Yeah, it got even worse We were gonna save his future, but I so I fucking I get the night they come back there like they want to They was they want to even put down a shit ton of money. I was like it's not happening

I'm like I'm like this. I don't even I just came I literally Google like I just came to buy a car I need a car probably the same salesman. He's like All right, he's like listen We got the price down as low as possible without eating stuff all my commission Maybe you just like tip me 600 bucks and then I say get the fuck out of here buddy I'm real yeah, I started I guess you just give me 600 bucks as a tip on that I'm buying it a Starbucks St. Craigslist I'm gonna fuck out of here All right, so Range Rover That's see like

If you work for Range Rover, then me up Logical step Maybe, maybe, maybe you can split it You know the truck that the Queen drove You're like my family won't talk to me if I'm in a Porsche One of a GMC Jimmy kind of guy Alright Alright Embarrassing to say the least Man Cars man Yeah let's get some more More show. More of a GMC Jimmy kind of guy. All right. All right. Embarrassing to say the least.

Man. Cars, man. Yeah, let's get some more. All right. After that, yes. Let's do a little digging here. Yeah, I have a couple that have been big on the show since you've been here.

Okay. That, you know, let's weigh in a little bit. Do you call it? Okay, dude when you're getting dressed will you put your pants on then your socks or your socks than your pants pants first Yes, underwear then pants underwear pants. Yes T-shirt and then socks last as you're like leaving the house You would put your socks socks and then yeah, yeah, okay gentlemen Okay, that's I think so I think it's I do socks underwear you do socks underwear That's the underdress you're right you're right. It's just An oblock dude

It kills with the neighbors. Yeah. Oh, I'm fine. Look at the fuck. Actually, when you're answering the door, you're like, what? I mean, don't get to be bulls-jip. Is it roof or roof?

It's roof. That's okay. All right. That is such a tell. That's such a good one. Up on the roof. Yeah. The first time I heard it,

I was like, were first time I heard it. I was worried about the rough. Yeah, anybody's in your family say refrigerator. Give me something out of the refrigerator. Over there in a refrigerator? Not if it's jumping out. That's a pass. No, because like I'm actually like, I think fridge is think fridge is normal.

Fridge is normal. That's normal. The refrigerator. Oh, feel like I've heard it, but I'm trying to like place the person who says it, it's not jumping out at me. What about him? I'm one of my sister says,

I'm always like, she says ex-specialy. You know, she's like, I'm big on that. I'm like ex-specialy. Yeah. And then ex-presso. I'm ex-specialy, you know? She's like, I'm big on that. I'm big on that. I'm like, ex-specialy. Yeah. And then, ex-presso. It's like, ex-presso.

Yeah, but like, you can use all the Italians. We'll say, Sinatra called it an ex-presso. Dumb fucking, what? It's like, it's the new beginning. You dirty people! Recy fucking stupid pig. It's spelled out on the board. There you come in here, you're saying.

Yes, I mean, it's ES, right? Like yes, right like espresso espresso. Yeah, I'm express. I just saw the I mean this one obviously gets more of a Passier but a photo from a restaurant in Italy and they wrote please they wrote on the board. Please it's Brusqueta not I just saw that yeah, that made me laugh and the fact that they were like you sound I just saw that. Yeah, that made me laugh. And the fact that they were like, you sound like that. Yeah. Yeah. Please.

It makes everybody mad. Your wife is, you know, but it's fucking, it's, it's brischetta when it comes out of patty foley's. Yeah, it's brischetta. Yeah. My mom, can I get the brischetta?

Yeah. Of course. Yeah. Yeah. I'll let the brischetta and it chicken frame. I think especially though, I'm always like, oh. Especially.

Yeah. X, like when they're like, X, especially. Especially, especially if, yeah, I have that I say vodka too. You say, no D in vodka. Vodka. Vodka, okay.

Two Vodka tonics. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Two tree Vodka tonics. What about, is it ground beef or is it hamburger meat? Cause one gotta go back to school. Yeah, I mean, I feel like ground beef the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the I'm obviously you flew out here up front or we solo I flew out here up front. Okay. Thank you to the people at Netflix. Okay. Shout out to them very nice and I'll fly out Okay, you know pick up the hotel. Is it just you or you got a team on there just me really just me that would have a great Yeah, press person Jamie. Thank you for coming

But yeah, nobody else Flying now when you are flying up front all right, yeah, um, will you take your shoes off? No never I Mean I can't say never there's been flights that are long where I've been uncomfortable, but it's not like my go-to move. Sure. And I'm not talking a life, lad. I'm talking like, you know, it's a couple of hours flight, you're up front. I've had, but I feel like that's not like my,

ah, I'm gonna, it's always been like, there's some discomfort. Sure. Always socked. I've never done it like. That's animal, is it? Yeah, no sock. I've seen the fucking guy,

I've seen the guy guy you I seen the guy Take his shoes of socks off and then put them on the screen like on so that he's like They get holding that whole cat or whatever yeah holding them on this and then he's watching TV with his bare feet on the thing And I'm like, yo I've been flying in crocs. Yeah, yeah But would you put them on the bull? But you want to. I would.

I would, yeah. Yeah, they're fucking, there's some real animals on the plane. I saw the guy flying. You follow passenger shaming? Yeah. It's like, it's so, I've seen some wild shit,

but the, she can't tell. What you see on there is crazy. I mean, people dry in their underwear under, on the bed, cut in their toenails, at the scene. I've seen that in their underwear under on the bed, cut in their toenails at the scene. I've seen that in person. Really? Huge, right?

Dry in their underwear? Yeah, the lowery side of your lorry is just stuffin' it. It's fuckin' crazy. People really on planes will turn into fuckin' animals. Yeah, I don't understand. Well, you put your seat back. If it's just not a lay flat. Yeah.

Yes. And I really do not a lay flat. Yeah. Yes. And I really do not buy into this. Like, there's a whole segment of the populations that's like you shouldn't do that. I don't think you should. I don't do it. Yeah, what if they're serving the meals?

Well, you check, okay, say they served the meal, you finish relatively quickly. Will you just drop it back? Will you give a peek back to see if they're done? I would do it like politely. Okay. I wouldn't wait till they're done. I just try not to like knock everything over.

I'm not, you know, I'm done. So you'd be jabbing me up if you did that. Really? You'd have to try to be right in my stomach. Dude, I saw them. We were flying out. They would definitely be a little tap on the shoulder. Excuse me.

He put, he pushed this old guy forward. I didn't know what, Edmund. It was right away he went back and he was, you know, he had about 14 bloody marries in him. And he was just like, no. Fucking jammed the back. I did do this one time. Like I go, boom, and I swear, I'm not exaggerating.

I heard. Ah, I got it. And I was like, I go like, dude, itating, I heard. I was like, I go like, I do. It was an old guy, he's like, my knee. How's that? I was like, I left it back. I didn't care. Kip, how about that liquid IV?

Shout out the liquid IV, this old. Save my life when I was sick a few months ago, as you know, gang, it's a summer time. It's hot as hell out there. Let's could screw in around. I gotta stay hydrated and there's no better way to do it. What a little liquid IV, I don't care what you're doing. Get it in the water bottle, shake it up. Best thing you'll ever do.

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get a pen, get a pencil, ladderlife, L-A-D-D-D-E-R. Life.com slash garbage, ladderlife.com slash garbage, do it gang! Do it, but you know the very, the first time, there's no exact, the first time I met Joey Diaz was in Columbus, Ohio. I went with Rogan to do gigs, and he was like, Joey's coming in,

and Joey shows up at the hotel, and we're like, what's up? He's like, dog. Almost got arrested. And we're like, what? He's on a flight, and it's coming from LA to Columbus and the guy in front of him had leaned back during meal time.

First class. Crazy. And Joey pushed it forward. And so the guy did it again and Joey pushed it forward. He was like, my meal, he's coming on my lap. You know? And so the guy doesn't move forward. Joey stands up and goes over to talk to the guy.

And when the guy tries to like move, he pushes down. He goes, you don't want to do that. And he goes, when I landed, he was landed in at the airport in Columbus on the jet bridge was Columbus PD. And they were like, he's his. And they go, he goes, I knew I was in trouble because they said, are you hoes a d s?

They only call me my mother. And the cops call me, I was like, everybody call me Joey. And they were like, what'd you do? He goes, I just told them, fuck the guy told him the guy, put my fucking, real Palmer Johnson, real my lap. And they were like, okay.

And they just kind of like, he could, he could, he could, anybody can talk to themselves out of trouble. It's Joey D. I'm with Uncle Joey on that one. Yeah. It's gotta be a slight sense of decorum. Okay.

Which you said that you had that you give. I give, I look, I do, I'm not gonna definitely be like, the guy with the name. The guy that was like, I think I broke his name. But most of the time, yeah, if it's meals, I'll do one of these, like, okay, look. All right, but most of the time it's like, we take off, it's like, we take off.

It's like, first of all, they do this for a reason. Like, they do it so that you can. Just like you in front of me, you get to do it too. Like, I don't know, I don't feel like I shouldn't do it. Like, some people. Up front, obviously, different. Incoach, it's brutal. It's brutal.

You're just fucking jammed. Yeah, brutal back there. Yeah, yeah, that's brutal. Fly back and forth, the Y-E back there. It's fucking tight. That's tight. That's tight. You do that? brutal fly back and forth the why you back there. It's fucking tight That's tight. That's a tight. You do that. Yeah back and forth from Hawaii. Yeah coach I don't know why you're a big dude dude. I'm huge the only thing I have going for me is if there's an empty seat Anywhere on the plane and I'm with I'm with my girl. They'll come over they come get them. They know I mean

Yeah, she's fucking smushed up against how much does that how much is that around trip like 5 6 7 dicey is it really yeah first class yeah and then coaches like 84 dollars dude the first time he flew out there I got nine layovers yeah the first time I flew out there it was like I go Minneapolis back the clone winner brutal that's brutal I'm not going to buy you a little bit. I'm not going to buy you a little bit. I'm not going to buy you a little bit. I'm not going to buy you a little bit. I'm not going to buy you a little bit. I'm not going to buy you a little bit. I'm not going to buy you a little bit.

I'm not going to buy you a little bit. I'm not going to buy you a little bit. I'm not going to buy you a little bit. I'm not going to buy you a little bit. I'm not going to buy you a little bit. I'm not going to buy you a little bit. I'm not going to buy you a little bit. And then some people, these fucking non-Americans, they bring the shit they made at home and it's like, get with the program, you know? Make a fucking Caesar salad or something, but don't, don't bring this muck-luck bullshit that you fucking make back in the old country on the flight. The whole fucking thing stinks. You got to top her where it would a whole bronzeino in there.

Yeah, I think this should take away your citizenship. If you bring some stuff. Easy don't, don't no there's not in that range Rover just yet there's some really foul shit on play honestly honestly all of it whenever when you get in this confine space the air is just like circulating stuff it doesn't matter if it's a burger if it's a chicken wrap

anything hot or warm you shouldn't do some people bring fucking eggs. People from home, they bring their hard boiled eggs. I'm so against hard boiled eggs in public. It's insane. I'm so against it. And on a plane, I was sitting at the gate and I was, I watched somebody go like,

right, they were just like, and then I go. And it was a lady who had her Tupperware and she was just like scooping shit out with her hands, you know, and I don't know even know what it was, but it was stinking up the entire year. This is the gate. This is the gate, you know. All right, he's a gentleman.

I got one for you. This has been a hot button issue. Right, you're getting in and say, yeah, it's a normal shower, right? It's like a bathtub shower head. Okay. How do you enter that shower, the enter from the back, or do you get in the under, like right under the spell?

I'm not talking about a glass one. Yeah, like a normal tub shower. Normally, I would get a hotel, you know, at a hotel. All right, I'm trying to be very accurate here. Hit me with it. So turn the shower on. I would stick hand, right? Test, and then I would step into the shower, into the tub, away, away, and gradually go.

Walk in. Walk in. Like a gentleman. Yeah, I would enter that way. You go right under the... He rolled dogs in. Right in? This guy stinks.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, man. So I get in there. right in this guy stinks Also his the head of his shower is the toilets right there so he crams in the side He's like I get my girlfriend yells at the floors all the way so what's I'm like no shit once you know the temperature is good. You're just like in What a fucking I don't want to put her back in there. I'm it. I'm insulted. You asked me this kind of thing I want to get in there and there. I'm a I'm insulted you asked me this kind of thing. Yeah, I want to get it I want to get in there and get wet especially if it's chilly. Yeah, if it's in the winter time I don't want to be tipped on in there. I want to get in there and get it over with

Nothing Ever play acoustic is card Man big man's plus Have you ever played acoustic guitar at a party? No No, now I'm insulted. This is fucking bullshit. I thought there was a little bit of respect Come on We have to follow a serious step done one. I don't think I ever played one Do you prefer obviously you're running a tight ship health wise? Do you prefer dominoes or pizza hut at the time when you were

Dominoes because I love the thing. I love Domino's thin crust. It's like my fate I mean, I even to this day like obviously there's better of course made better quality stuff But if you just like floated it, but if you were like hey, there's better made and better quality stuff, but if you just like floated it, but if you were like, hey, do you want a dominoes pepperoni thing? I'd be like, yeah, and then like a minute later, like, oh, there's the top nut, I'd be like, no, no, get the dominoes, it's good.

Yeah. The dominoes over pizza hut. For me, yes. All right, now we're starting to make some fucking sense. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's great. Wait, was that, would you do that a lot? Would you, when you were on the road, right? Because you came up, you know, through the, like the feature of the club, yeah, on the road, was, would you do that a lot? Would you, when you were on the road, right? Cause you came up through the, like, the feature of the club.

Yeah. On the road, would you do that? Or would you eat at the club? Or were you ordering a lot of food? Or you do, like, microwave in the burritos and shit? The crushing in the hotel room? I was there. Cause you were a bigger dude.

I look back. Pig. Looking at you with those pictures. I, I fucking, I mean, here's my, what, like, my schedule. You look like me now, the big hotel. My schedule was like, I would, here's my, what, like, you look like me now, the Behriger. My schedule was like, I would get to that club. We're doing two shows, let's say,

or I guess first night's one show, I would, as soon as I got off stage, I would order, you know, hey, can I get the mozzarella sticks? So you're getting it to go from the club? No, no, I'm eating it there. Between show, okay. Mozzarella sticks, then I get maybe the burger,

cheeseburger, fries. Maybe the second show, I'd be like, can I get that Sunday? And then we would have a couple drinks, and if someone had weed, you smoke weed. And then you're out, you know, just bullshit, and then you get back late, and then I'd be like, oh, or before we go back to the condo, can we do a drive-through, hit the drive-through? Then I would sleep till like noon or one,

and my thing is I always wanted, always, always, always breakfast food, right? Of course, I have to do it. So I was like, where can we get bread? And sometimes it's like, some of these towns you're like, oh, they're done, like there's gotta be a brutal. I'm a brutal.

And then you find a place and I would, that's where I would do the probably the worst damage. Yeah, because it you're like, oh, they're done. Like there's gotta be a brutal. And then you find a place and I would, but I would, that's where I would do the part that works damage. Yeah, because it would be like, am, you know, the hash browns with the eggs on top, bacon, and then I'd be like, let's get second breakfast. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

That would make it safe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bacon and cheese, Jason. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was like that, whatever, four days in a row. Yeah, yeah. In the hotel, would you ever use the ironing board as a TV tray?

TV tray? For as a desk. I put all, I put like things that I brought, you know what I mean? Like here's a picture of the family. Yeah, there's a picture of the family. There's a Bluetooth speaker. Yeah, there's like bullshit.

There's like a camera that I never use. I put it on the man. One of those things with the balls that swings back and forth. I would also use not to iron clothes, but to like leave clothes. Like I might wear this later. I'll put this shirt on it.

And hang off of it while it. Yeah, all that shit is like is on the ironing board. Okay. Have you ever put your clothes in like the drawers? Recently. Recently. Recently. So tells though.

Yeah, and also like you just like it actually helps me or I don't do it on every trip, but I like being organized more. It's easier to see, you're not just digging through the back stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not sure if we ask you, what is the luggage situation? What's the luggage situation? What do you, what brand to use and what do you rockin' around with?

Do you have those cool, like, designer bags that all match? No, but I like, to me, I'm using to me. To me, I've been on for more than a decade. Okay. Here's the thing. This is the real truth as somebody that's been touring for a long time.

Hit it. You will not get, and they're not a sponsor. You will not have a better company to work with in that line than to me. Because they make, yeah, they make cool stuff. They make good bags, they give lifetime warranties. I've gone with, I've had to meet backpacks,

rollers, full size. I've had shit go wheel pop off, the handle thing. You literally walk into a chimpanzee. They verify that it's, they've got, they have like fucking VIN numbers on them. They verify and then they're like, they've gone like, take one of these. No shit.

They either fix it there or they're like, we'll just give you a bag. So yes, it is expensive, like they're shit's expensive. It's worth it. I could not endorse them more. Okay. All right. The two of these is shit.

That's classy, but that's not over the top. No. I like it though. Yeah, they're good. Will you dance at a wedding? Uh, yeah, but like, I like it though. Yeah, they're good. Well you dance at a wedding Yeah, but like I'm not like one of dance the whole night You know, you're out there if like Christina wants to dance. Yeah, like this Or like especially if I'm you know, you know, I'll have a little pop some yeah, what is your go-to drink? Because obviously, you know, obviously everybody knows what birth but you're you're not as big of a drinker I mean goes to that saying come on. I'm sorry

All right, so I I did a lot of gin and tonics like you like that's I like that I like a Nyeho on ice, you know like the tequila and you know on ice. Okay, I'll do like a nice vodka Also just straight up on ice vodka also just straight up on ice. Man, that's a good one. And then I like bourbons. Yeah, I don't like bourbons. Okay. Yeah, so those are kind of like my,

genoclamps. Genoclamps. Yeah. Man. Do you like genoclamps? I, I, you don't see them a lot. Yeah, they're bigger in Europe. They're bigger in Europe, for sure.

Yeah. Do you like wine? He's, he claims to know. Love it. Dude,, we were we were it we went to Indy 500 was bullshit and we went out to dinner and he's like I'll be telling him this he's like I'm gonna order for day by anyway. He's doing him. He's fucking Johnny We all got stakes. Yeah, he's got a nice bottle of red for us. Okay, nice. I'm gonna go a little body to it There you go. Yeah, older than he order no, he wanted to fix out the tenants. He ordered the wrong thing. He ordered a bottle of white. And the guy's there was Cabernet in the name. I think it was the Cabernet grid. Okay. All right.

It wasn't a cab solving. Yon was the cabs on the home. What are you talking about? That fucking way to was a method. He didn't know what happened. He was the guy. I think we're gonna do another one. Actually, I think we're gonna do another one. So in spite of them, I fucking house the whole bottle in order to bottle a red. That's what's happening.

You showed them. I threw up halfway through to meals. Of course, so. Wait, before we continue, I gotta piss again. Go, go, go, go, go write for everybody. I have a general knowledge from working in the service industry. All right, I know that the Pino and the Laws are going to be lighter. The Cabernet is going to be heavier. Yeah. I know a nice male back.

I know a nice San Giovanni, a nice Monty. I like a nice Sauvignon Blanc. I know Pino is going gonna be a little sweeter. Shard Nays are gonna be a little butterie, buttery, maybe a little oaky, depending on where it's from. I know that. Do you know all that? Are you with that well-versed?

I mean, I have a general knowledge of like certain things that I like. And then why is it parallel, parallel up well with certain foods, but I'm definitely not well- well versed or anything like that I've also you know sometimes you have wine that you're like, damn that was fucking good And I've out snapped pictures and try to mentally remember sure just like some of them so that if I see it again I'll be like oh that was a long yeah, would you be usually ordering the wine at the table?

Would you be handling it? I will do it with um let's say, yeah, with a lot of people. And then I'm friends with some people that are real sharp. When I'm real sharp with wine, so of course, I'm like, yeah, you take over. Running down. Yeah. Okay. All right.

So you dance a little bit at a wedding. I will a little bit. Yeah. But, I'm not doing any of the coordinated, like, hey, we're- You're not doing the macaroni to the electric slide? No, no, no, no, no, okay. Can you do them? Uh, I mean, the macaraine is pretty simple. Okay. Yeah, I just I could, but I'm not, I'm not really that guy. You're not in town. No, no. How would you rate your dancing? Can you hang? Are you gonna,

are other people gonna be snickering or are you gonna hold your own? I think I can hold my own. Could you do the warm when you were a kid? No gonna be snickering? No. Or are you gonna hold your own? I think I can hold my own. Could you do the worm when you were a kid? No. I've got the dance video. Good to do the worm. No. Okay.

Going back to the cars for a minute, what kind of air freshener you banging in those things? I don't have a air freshener. You're not throwing a pine tree, black ice, nothing, Tom? Who's insulting now? Yeah. What's on the rear-brim mirror of your book out of you? Black ice, nothing, Tom! Who's insulting now? Yeah. What's on the rear-brim mirror of Newfoundland?

Yeah, I know. You play the harmonica? Oh, Jesus. I love getting a car detailed. Sure. And I've had, and sometimes I remember that they've asked before and I always, they they go you want something? Cherry and I always go new cart because there's a new car smell. I go a new car smell. Okay. It's the best. Yeah.

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I gotta be on the move. You got to be on the move. I got people after I gotta be able to stick and move. Yeah. That's why bird dogs, they use the cloud knit fabric. High kicks feels like your balls in a cumulus cloud, if you know what I mean. Walking around like a rocket.

It looks just like khaki and keeps the stretch and allows for a ton of movement and flexibility. Their cloud knit is even anti stink and sweat wicking so you can stay cool and dry. Oh, yeah, finally, the land tie stink. Oh, K puts. They sent us a whole box of stuff. I've been walking around in my little booties shorts. My wife all of Go to birddogs.com slash garbage use the promo code garbage. I check out for free

Yeti style tumbler with your order which they also you know, I was having a little fucking back in darling in there That's birddogs.com slash garbage use the code use the promo code garbage for a free yeti style tumbler You won't want to take your bird dogs off. We promise Eddie style tumbler you won't want to take your bird dogs off we promise Um if somebody has a booger or bad breath will you tell them will you let them know? I'm much more inclined to tell them the booger Even though the bad breath is more bothersome right? I've done where's your line of people? Like if one of us had it, would you say something? Booker, I would tell anybody. Okay. I would be like, hey man, you got something you know.

Like you get it to you. You just like try to breath. Like you, you just try to avoid for like I do a lot of avoidance. Mm-hmm. Right? Like, yeah. And I'll, you know, yeah, man, you know, you start like covering up, turning away. Mm-hmm. So the line is that like, obviously someone's super close to you.

You can just tell them. Of course. There's like a step removed from that, where you go like, do you want some gum? You know, like you want a mint. And then there's like somebody more removed from that who you kind of go like,

I'll be like, this is good. And when they go, I don't want to, I go, this is fucking good. Like, and they're like, it's experiment. I've had it. And I'm like, this is a new one. I don't want to, I go, this is fucking good. Like. No, try this to make sense. And they're like, it's spearmen. I've had it. And I'm like, this is a new one. I don't think you ever have had it.

The others with you, sir. And would you appreciate that if somebody told you that? How would you handle all those things? Yeah. I appreciate. You want to be too. Any of those things, I like somebody telling me that doesn't look good on you.

You're something on your face, you need to brush your... All that shit doesn't offend me. I wish... Welcome it, yeah. It was happening more. Good. Good. That's good.

Do you own binoculars? I actually have two binoculars. What the fuck is that? Single. So that's ultimate creep level, dude. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I gotta look at two different girls at the same time.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, like a revolutionary general, what do you mean? This is like, I guess it's probably used more for like hunting. Yes, I know what you mean, yeah. But I was in an outdoor store and then I saw it. I was like, that looks cool.

And they were like, would you like a monocular? And I was like, do. Tape them together? Yeah. I've used them once. OK. I thinkular? And I was like, do. Yeah. Take them together. Yeah, I've used them once. Okay. I think the day that I got them, I used them, and then I was like, yeah. Do you have a telescope?

Yeah, are we bought one? The fucking, I think I made a post about it. I bought one for my son, for my six, seven year old. Okay. And like, I was out there, I couldn't see shit with it. And I kept, I was like, the fuck is going on? And then I like, I wait at night, I'm't see shit with it. And I kept, I was like, what the fuck is going on? And then I like, I wait at night, I'm like, oh, it's gotta be dark.

You know, I still can't see anything, but it's like the real cheap shitty one. Yeah, there's, I had a crappy one during the pandemic. Really? It took me full moon, took me fucking three hours. So I was thinking, I was looking for like a star and everyone was like, that's advanced. Yeah, like snow with the moon.

Yeah, yeah. Find the biggest thing. And then I was like, I can't find that. like, that's advanced. Yeah, like Snow White. Snow White. Yeah, yeah. Find the biggest one. Yeah. And then I was like, I can't find that. So I'm probably done with this. Yeah. Try and be like, House Next Door.

Yeah. That's what's going on. Yeah, they're fun though. Do you still have a DVD collection? Not that, I mean, I think it's probably somewhere in the house, but nothing that I'm aware of. You're not like displaying it. No, I'm gonna check out Dumb and Dumber or whatever.

No. But we definitely have some somewhere. Okay, fair'm gonna check out thumb and dumber, or whatever. No. But we definitely have some somewhere. Okay, fair enough. Yeah. Do you know anybody on a mural? Do I know anybody? Do you know anybody on a mural? And personally, do you know anybody that has a mural?

Well, I mean, like, I'm just gonna answer this question. Like, we have a mural at our office. Yeah, we saw them painted it. Chris painted it. No, that doesn't count. Right, right. Also, the side of Zaini's, I'm we saw them painting a crisp painted it. No, that doesn't count. Right, right. Also, the side of Zaini's, I'm thinking everybody's on the side of that.

Are you on Zaini's? That's true. Yeah, I know bird is. Okay. Yeah. This weird, like, at my parents' place, they have like, like my dad has a painting of himself. Really?

Yeah, and I think there's one of them. Yeah, there's one of my mom there too, that they. That's old school. That's pretty old school. Yeah. It's them in like their 60 one of them. Yeah, there's one of my mom there too that they. That's old school. That's pretty old school. Yeah. It's them in like their 60s. Sure.

You know, like, yeah. Hands for Alster, whatever. Yeah, right. So you have family paint. That's pretty good. Staring up to the left a little bit. Okay. Hey, bad.

Do you send a trash bag? I got one done, like this Neo Cubist one done of Christina from this guy, the Spanish painter. Oh, that's pretty cool. That was cool, because I like his stuff. Zim was Belleen, and I commissioned him to do that. That's what we're talking about, yeah, that's sorry. I just bought a bunch of his stuff.

Really? I bought like 12 of his paintings. Where are you putting those? It's glazed. So a bunch of them are going in that garage. Okay. This office, it's not just a bunch of them are going in that garage. Okay. There's an office, it's not just a grout. And then I've been buying more artwork

in the summer that someone's going to the house. Have you? Yeah. You've been buying a little art. A little art, yeah. Look at you. All right. But I love walking into a home and office

a hotel that has art. I just like, you know, I go to art museums if I'm on the road. And I have to do it. Yeah, I haven't done it on this trip, but I would have if I didn't have full days. You ever see that one where you got a stare at it for a long time and then the space shuttle appears? Yeah. What are you talking about? Exactly. Exactly. And you're like, that's a fucking dolphin. Yeah. I can't see it. Yeah. Damn. He's purchasing art. I assume you have somebody helping you with that, right? Like a broker or whatever?

Honestly, like, no. You're just handling it all yourself. I've done it all myself. I mean, I've had, like, so I've gone into galleries and bought it like that. Really? The thing is though, you're a mark when you do that. The moment you do that, they try to sell you more.

They follow up with you. I mean, I had my neighbor had this gallery guy that he bought from and then he referred me to him. This dude was like, he sends me like all these images. Like, do you want these? And I was like, yeah, I like this, not that. He's like, all right, how about these six things for like, you know, all the, you know, like, no.

And then he goes, what if it was like 30 grand less? And you're like, what the fuck? You just like just fucking just by being like, I'm not sure. And then, you know, so you that that part feels doing clearance deals with you. Yeah. Okay. I mean, I don't, I'm not like very well versed or it then, but I do enjoy it. I do like it. That's what I was looking for. And that's pretty good. The family having one is real class. Eat that. Yeah. That's real nice. Well, you say goodbye to places when you leave. Like a buy house.

No, I never mind. Like a child? Yeah. The boys do that. My boys do that. So does mine. Yeah, yeah. And like my wife will,

she'll be like, you know, say goodbye and they go, bye, be patient. There you go. Yeah, yeah, they do that. Like it's like, say you're, they're how old again? They're now four and seven.

So not, they're not 47 years old. No, okay. You, what do you do? Like, okay, so say, say, say we stay at a hotel and we had a nice time. Thank you hotel. Like, as we're leaving the room, bye hotel. Or like, we'll be back in out of an Airbnb

and he's like, bye Airbnb. And I just have to act like that's normal and it's adorable Yeah, it's very cute Super cute. Are you currently any and any beef with any neighbors? No, okay, okay, I ever put a napkin on your shirt when you're eating tie a little tuck in I mean, I can't say I've never done that. It's not a regular, but I've done it. I've done it like more like, oh shit,

there's a second show, right? Like, prevent it. You don't wanna like, and you're wearing a light color. And yeah, we use a lobster bib if you get lobster. Yeah, you will. I will, yeah. Okay, because a lot of times the place is, first of all, they, a lot of times they'll initiate.

I'm not gonna stop someone, I'm just for a reason they're doing this. They've seen this a thousand times. Yeah, I don't usually go, can I get the bib? But if they come over. But sir, you're having the chicken. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It does kind of feel nice though.

It does, you look. You look at the haircut. Yeah, like you look goofy as shit. Like you see a photo or something, but in the moment, you're like, yeah, make it tighter. Yeah, we're going in. We're going in. It's time of a good time.

All right, okay. What was the last time you were out of Hobachi restaurant? How did what you're overall feeling on Hobachi? With slicing and dyson and the. The communal table, flipping shrimp in your face, hitting on your girlfriend. It's a fun time. I haven't done it in a while.

I feel like I would be, I should say, like something in like the 12, 18 months, something like that. Oh, really? I think so. I mean, it could be two years. Sure. It's definitely happened. Yeah, it's really like when the other people are,

you're like, I don't want to fucking eat with this guy. I know. That's the turn off. I've had fun with like, when we're the whole table. I've never had a whole table before. That's fun. Yeah. You know, the guy being fun is, you know, one of my most

memorable ones was my older sister, she enlisted in the Navy at 34, which is the cut off age. Mm-hmm. And she went to the language institute in Monterey, California, And she signed up for Mandarin, right? Okay. Chinese. And it's intense. It's like eight hours a day. Jesus. And then after she was in this program for a while, we went to one of those places,

the Habashi places. And you know, they'll just still hire a Puerto Rican. They don't give a shit. They're just like, yeah, you're just not white. You can do it. So this guy's fucking chopping it up. And she just looks at him. And she was like, me how? And right? And he was like, and this guy, he froze, right? And he thought maybe she knows, does she know where?

And she just start speaking Mandarin. This guy, I'm not kidding you. He has this thing and he goes. And then he speaks broken English and he stops the whole thing. There's other people at the table. He's like, do you know how hard it is to speak Mandarin? And I'm like, I guess so. And he could not believe he couldn't believe that a white lady was speaking Mandarin to him. He had trouble like moving on. Really? Oh yeah.

You were shocked. Fucking he couldn't hold the egg and he was just like, I'm gonna make the vodka for the save his life. It was a mess. He was just like, he'd seen a ghost. Okay. It's pretty sharp. Can you whistle with your fingers?

No. Can. Can't do it. Could your dad? No. That was a dad thing. That was a dad thing and I always thought that was fucking badass. I wish I could. Or also even the forceful like where you're like Jesus. How do you generate that sound?

Here are three football fields away. That's it. It's just incredible this thing Like what yeah, I always wanted to do it. Yeah, never could you ever watched your shoes in a washing machine or a dishwasher? machine or a dishwasher. No, okay. I feel like I've definitely had a pair that I've been like fuck, you know, muddied up. And I'm trying to remember if somebody else like someone that they come out, they don't hold the whole dishwash. Do you know someone's done a dish well? That's a, that's a, that's a guy people really to my cleats and your hats and their and stuff. Like really? I've never fucking heard of this ever. Yeah, no, it's a thing.

They even make like racks for your hats so you can put in so it'll like hold the form. Keep the beak from bending. And you put it in there. I think if you think if you don't like wash it with your pots and pans, it's just a you know, a high pressure washer, I guess. Okay. Yeah, yeah, you've never done it.

It's trashy. Would you ever wear a pair of sneakers out of the store going and get a pair of sneakers and wear them out? Yeah, yeah, yeah, what do you do with the old pair of throw them out? No, I put them in the box He's giving them to the guy to throw out really? Where I'm done with a filter maybe Just throw these out. I'm like he said that's bad form.'s an insane move why how is that the they're throwing stuff out you just wait he's like you did care this yeah I give him the box I say my old ones in there you can throw them out you can sell them yeah hey so got some bouncing on the side. They got a little kick to them. What's your go to, you have a go to sneaker?

I've been, I've been, I've been really rocking a D-tus lately. Yeah, I guess I'm on right now. Yeah, I guess I'm on Amazon. I've been rocking a D-tus. They're very comfortable. They're old school. Yeah, I like these. And I like a slide in.

I like a, I like a no fuss. Yeah, I'm not fucking with the license. No fuss. We've been jammed up at TSA. Yeah, that was one of the main reasons why I got TSA pre-check. I don't take my shoes off anymore. Yeah.

I'm fucking walking around like I got clogs on as I can't get my feet in there. It's so funny to be like, I wanna get sneakers and I don't want any fuss. You know, the sneaks give you so much fuss. Yeah, very comfy. That, what's it you so much loss. Yeah, yeah, very comfy. That, what's it? Memory foam or comfort foam?

What do you have? And you, do you have a go-to? I'm a, I tend to be a Nike man. Yeah. Yeah, I got into the dunks recently, like the high top dunks and stuff. I have one. They're skateboarding line. These S-B's.

So comfortable. Right, I rock those. So comfortable. That's one thing I did get into shoes. I've just like, I've been ordering a lot of shoes. It's a phase. When you start to be able to like, I can just, because shoes and haircuts for me were a thing

that I could never afford. Really? Well, they always just got pushed off of me. I have going out drinking of the bills or whatever. It's like haircuts, other week, shoes can wait another day. Yes, yeah, yeah. So now I'm like, I want to get a haircut every week and I'm fine. Nice, dude.

I like it. Look at you guys, living large. And the Lincoln, if they play ball. It's gonna be a ranger over. It's a ranger over. Yeah, what are your coast sign terms, though? Yeah. Huh, how do you pronounce the product that Crayola makes? Oh.

Crayon? That's right. Yeah, you don't do, we had this discussion. Oh, we did. No, no, no, no, we've had the people say, crown. I'm a crown man. And then it's a crayon.

Crayon. It's not crayon. So, it is a crayon. It's Crayon. Crayon. I've always said crayon. It's Crayola Crayon. I didn't even, that sounds weird.

I was 43 when I found out that somebody says crown. Yeah. I was like, the fuck are you talking about? Is that a Philly thing? It's a dirty thing. I think it's a, I think it's a mid-Atlantic dirt bag thing. Yeah. I was like, the fuck are you talking about? Is that a Philly thing? It's a dirt bag thing. Yeah. Yeah. Crown. Crown. I'm like, I don't know. What are you talking about? I remember my dad saying, how you guys get the crowns? Get the crowns and draw. Yeah. He's not the sharpest to one the sharpest. I mean, I think it's a both your parents work and you are home alone. Sure. There's a lot of that. It's, it sounds, it literally sounds made up to me.

It's like somebody's saying like, how do you say water and you're like, we say, whoosh, what the fuck are you talking about? Like, you can't get there with the letters. It doesn't make sense. It doesn't make sense to me. Usually if you say it like that, they were broken in half.

You're using them, do you? Yeah, the wrapper was off too. Yeah. Any magazines in the bathroom at the house? And you subscribe to any, does the household subscribe to any, does the household subscribe to any magazine? I'll say this, I love magazines.

Okay. And I was a, magazines were in every single home and apartment and bathroom that I've ever lived in. And I did subscribe for years and years and years. I feel like that only trailed off in the last maybe five to somewhere in the last decade. It's like it's, but I still, if I walk by a magazine stand, all sometimes by six, seven magazines. Car magazines or whatever. I'll buy some car magazines.

I might buy like a travel magazine. A news one. Yeah, I'll just, I love magazines. Yeah, but I just, I don't subscribe anymore. And I love having them laying around. My mom, my mom is Southern Living. And they're nice to leave through. Southern Living, yeah, sure.

Architecture stuff. Yeah, it's a white life, does architecture is digest. Yeah, AD. I throw them out. You throw them out? Yeah. He's not gonna read them.

What are we talking about here? If you ever go, where is that AD? He did, she came home yesterday and actually asked Where's the winner issue? Yeah, I was like, I don't think they delivered the mail It's been fucked up You've been going In the bathroom at the house now

Any do you use an air freshener in there? Do you have a little something or would you match? We got black ice in there, what are you doing? We got Usually like now there's usually nothing in there You're not a match person that was the one I want to get to that usually, like, not there's usually nothing in there. You're not a match person. That was the one I want to get to.

I like, I do a lot of things. But we don't, like, here's the thing, I'm thinking of like, I'm thinking of the last 15 years. I've just definitely been matches in a lot of them. In my current bathroom. So the bathroom that I have at home, there's like the main bathroom you walk into, and then the toilet is in a,

another room. Another room, it's like. Classy hotel. And then, and so like, that's not like set up for anything else in there. Gotcha. It also is a, it's a, toto toilet.

Toto, very nice. So when you walk in the lid opens, and's like hello, like give me your caca And you shit my mouth and you shit in its mouth and then it has the button So you like it auto flushes if you move and then it has the spray built into it So you clean yourself right away and you feel like an animal when you're not there Because that thing I just sit for like a whole cycle or two. And then when I check with paper, it's just wet paper. There's nothing there.

All the cockas go on. It's amazing. That's the best. Sky runs a tight ship. Yeah, it's all right. Any pukin' eclases in your history? No. Shark tooth.

What? I'm sure, if you're asking me, was there an age where I thought a shark tooth was cool? Sure. The answer is absolutely yes. But did I have any poke necklaces or anything? No. Any Dave Matthews tickets in your past?

No, I've never been to a Dave show. But a pro jam. Pro jams, all right? Yeah. Was there any questionable jewelry in the early days? A some later days too. Yeah, I had a pandemic purchase that is kind of funny to me. It was like this necklace that was like black, you know what I mean? Like black metal? Yeah, like black metal. Like just like like a relief picture. Like I have something that like a cool black

I would wear and I was like I was like that looks cool And I was rocking that shit for a while and then people were like this of the test years of that It's cool You know I've got a couple of those and I was like uh, yeah, I probably shouldn't any Any rings at any point thumb ring never never this is a this is a wedding wedding But it's also an aura ring okay, yeah, it does like heart rate short sleep all of us. This is a redding, but it's also an aura ring. Okay. It does like heart rate, sleep, all that stuff.

Oh, six or nothing. A lot of watch purchases. Sure. A lot of watches. But I don't, like, I don't have any that I go, I'll regret buying that. The, yeah, I felt like that pandemic purchase necklace was like the time I bought a vest and thought it was cool. Oh, well, what was this?

As years ago, but I was like I was like I think I was in high school Yeah, yeah, I was like I put it on and then people were like Not like a not like a Marty McFly like outdoor vest like you mean like yeah But like with t-shirt and like a like Yeah, like I don't like Ferris Bueller or something, you know, but like it was like a magician like a magician I had it it was for his this your card. Yeah, here's the thing. It was expensive. It wasn't cheap I think I like asked my mom and I was like, please

It was terrible. It was bad. Yeah, it's definitely a vote. It's a strike. Any fake sports covers as a kid for baseball or whatever, did you have like, you know, all stars or anything like that? You would say you hold the face on a ladies box or something. Would your parents spring for them?

No, no, I didn't have any of those, but I know exactly what you're talking about. Yeah, there's no. Is there any trophies in your home at the moment? Sorry, trophies. No, no. Okay. Everywhere pins, you go through a pin phase where you wore pins.

I've been given a lot of pins. You're scared? People give me pins like crazy. I think I've put like a pin on a jacket or something a couple times. Okay, not like, hey man, I gotta get my pins together. You know, like, check out my pins dude. I had a cool like, my leaf face.

I had a cool dumb pin somebody gave me once. Okay, I mean, yeah like a dominatrix. Oh okay. Where it was like she was holding the paddle. Sure. I had it on a jacket. I was just like, When was how old were you? 42. It's just not that long ago. I'm sure. I thought you had it on a jacket. I was just like when was how old were you 42

it's just not that long. I thought you had it on the vest. No, they gave me a bunch of them. And so I had a jacket on I put one on. I don't know. It wasn't like any patches at any point. We never I was not I was not patch guy. Well you were a vets guy. So I don't know where the line. Yeah. I was a one off. I regret telling you. What about a lifeguard hoodie? You ever wear one of those? For those red ones, it's just a lifeguard? Come on now, we got it.

It's so ridiculous. Man, I don't think I had a lifeguard one. Man, it's so good though. When you're putting on a shirt, when do you put the older one on before the shirt or after the shirt? This is an excellent question. Thanks for coming to the show, Tom. So what I found, that's crazy that would take this long to figure out. Is that a lot of times, you know, I think I'm

right there with. Okay, so I, I, you leave, you dry off, get in dress. Alright, pants are on, not the socks yet. And we're not animals. And you go, dude, I'm gonna make you're, cause you're exposed. Sure. Deodorant, and then a lot of times on the t-shirt comes on, you get t,

you get t-tease deodorant on your t-shirt as it, and you're like, fuck. Especially a black t-shirt. I mean, so the, the way to prevent that is to put the shirt on, but then you gotta like, you gotta make the room so that you don't get the odor and all over the inside.

So yeah, here's the thing, I'm 44 and I'm still challenged by this. Like I'm still- I'm still out of the crack to go. Yeah, I'm still, I got this. Fucking deodorant everywhere. Yes, yeah. And if you put deodorant on, here's another thing.

If you put deodorant on and your shirt's off and then you go, oh, I'm just gonna put my shoes on first. Can you just do that? Your armpit will like then... It gets everywhere. It gets everywhere. Yeah, yeah.

Okay. Fully you're not with us? When does it go on? Right before the socks. Right before the socks. Wait, shirts on? No, never shirt on. It goes underwear, socks, de no never shirt on it goes underwear socks

Deodorant hit it with did the odorant Then I'll do the pain spray deodorant guy My divorce cop I feel I thought you'd definitely be a spray guy Bear spray dude that would get you. Yeah, no, I'm a no anti-perspirant deodorant guy. Okay. Just deodorant, old spiron. Okay. Yeah.

What are you banging with? I have old spice and dove. I'm a dove man too. Yeah, dove's nice. It's like the powder, not the powder, but it's like the one. Yeah, and I'm like, God, people will be like, what's your cologne? It's not great.

Yeah, stop me, like, what are you wearing? I'm wearing deodorant. I'm like, oh, Jesus. Nice. Huh. Okay. Like that's great. Yeah, that's all stop me like what are you wearing my my my deodorant? Oh, she's Nice huh, okay, all right man, huh. Have you ever wanted to switch blade or a butterfly knife? Yes Well I definitely it was a butterfly knife. Yeah, did you try to tricks with it of course? Slice yourself I've cut myself. I've got myself. Yeah.

Even if you cut, that's what I have it. Do you clip your nails or do you bite them? This is a really emotional question for me. Good. So I started biting my nails, my fingernails and cuticles when I was probably six. Cuticles. Yeah.

You're already on cuticles at six? Try a cup of six. Cuticles. Yeah. You're already on cuticles at six? Yeah, I've got a decapital. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. And then I only... Like would you be that kid? Yeah, it's just like...

So, you'd be able to see the big... No, well, you'd see... I'm often let those kids sleep over. No, it was bad. Here's the thing. When I stopped really biting, this is the only thing that ever worked. I did things like, I did hypnosis.

Really? I did, they sell this nail polish. Yeah, that tastes real bad. They taste badly, we have a reminder. Whoa, you got all those kids. I was like, well, I mean, not just kid, like 20s, 30s, like no kiddin'. So then when I got, when I broke my body

playing basketball, this arm was broken and I couldn't pull my hand to my mouth. So this hand grew in, cause it was like weeks, months of like not being able to move. And then I had nerve damage, so I couldn't like manipulate them. So then I had like a fully grown out left hand of like and then this one was like all mangled

And then I was just like that's you can't go. Yeah, so it was like being forced to visit and you also could visit See it. So this is like dammit and then and you go like this is actually nice and it feels good And I'm not like hiding them. I say this as I have a bandaid on this side. But you can see that I have grown nails. They're nice, yeah. And so you're clipping them now. Now I clip them. And it's strange to me.

Because you know what happens? You go, I'm so used to not having nails and biting and chewing them that I go, oh, should I let them, if I clip them, then they'll be gone. Like, I don't, don't you, you know what I mean? Like, it's strange to me because I'm so used to not having nails that I feel like if I clip them, it's like akin to biting them, you know? Yeah. Because then you lose. Yeah.

Yeah. Here's the thing though, you had it, you were doing it, but then you recognized it and you rectified it. That's pretty classic. Well, thanks. It was, damn. It was only because my arm broke. Yeah.

Still. But I'll tell you this, it feels so much better. To like, to not be like, I would look down and be like, oh, I would hide my hands. Well, you do a manicure? 100%. You will. Yeah, I mean, I don't regularly get them,

but if I'm in a place that does and I can make that happen, I've done it, it feels amazing. You're doing a pretty, you're gonna get to feet done? I haven't, and I only I can make that happen. I've done it. It feels amazing. You do a petty get a petty get to feet on I haven't and I only heard that it's The best they're awesome. Yeah. Yeah, you see you're clipping your own toenails. Yeah, okay. Yeah, huh Pretty classy man. Where you ever are you currently a fan of the TV show deadliest catch? I've seen it. I wasn't like a wasn't it never call it yet. That didn't really catch me, no.

Okay. Any gardening going on at the house? Gardening? Gardening that I'm involved in, no. But there is some? Well, there's gardening done, but I don't do it. It's not a guy. I'm talking, no, no, I know that.

But I'm talking, are you guys growing any vegetable? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. You got a guy growing the vegetable? Well, no, no, like there's the gardening people do like the big, like the lancers and landscape there. The kids and my wife have planted stuff. Okay, tomatoes and all this stuff.

Yeah. So you're not, so it's not just the landscaper coming in and cutting the grass. You got some things being done. Some things being brought in. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's a whole, don't look at me like that.

That's a whole other level of landscape No, it's a not having a guy cut the grass is one thing if you're getting the mulch done and bringing in You don't think he's got a fucking mulch guy Brad maple trees and all that kind of style you rotating that stuff around I Don't know I really don't know do you have any bushes that are like trimmed to look like you Of course one is just as slhammer, it's like the whole thing. It's a promo.

It's a paid for. Like 50 grand. It's a write-off. Whoa, man. That's all right. I mean, I got a couple, I think, here. And the last round of 65 days, have you taken a shower and then put the same pair of underwear back on you had

before the shower? I don't think so, man. Okay. Where's the camera? Me either. I was lying about that, man. Okay. Where's the key? Me either. I was lying about that, the other thing. Where's the towel go when you're done in the shower at the house.

You're done in shower, boom. Where you put in the towel when you're done with it? On a rack, somewhere like, you know, behind the bathroom door? Well, there's multiple hooks and racks. Okay. Find one and leave it there. What's the usage time of your town? How many how many how many showers will you get at a one towel? Um, you don't even know, do you? They're just because there's an abundance of the towels. There's like God damn fucking man. Yeah, there's a lot of towels. And equinox in there. Yeah, there's there's a lot of towels. I'm an equinox in there. I know. Yeah, there's a lot of towels.

Jesus. Yeah. I assume they're all right. I assume they're all matching, right? They're all the same towel. He's yes. I, yeah. I, yeah.

I, yeah. I like you got the same towel. I know there's like, it's a sad. Not like a Mickey Mouse one thrown in there somewhere. Like a worn out one. I always loved that one. All the silverware matches in the drawers in the kitchen, right? Yeah. I think, well, there might be like two sets or something.

Okay. Yeah. You have a China cabinet, like with like dinner, like a formal dinnerware. So I think there's a, there is a, there's a version of that. I think there's like a cabinet that is like not Exposed. I think it's hidden that has like formal wear. Yeah, very nice Guys fucking bulletproof All right, I got one to pick one of the three T. J. Friday's Applebee's are Olive Garden

Applebees Apple piece. Salah choice. Salah choice. Any baking soda in the fridge at the house? No, not currently, but I've had, I mean, I've had that before for sure. You keep batteries in the fridge? No, but I've also done that before. Uh-huh. I'm, I'm, I'm, when I'm answering these as like, currently right now, but I have done that before.

Ever calling to DJ Delilah what? You know DJ that was a deep cut. He pulled the people that I've never heard of it DJ Delilah You know she does like to break up on the radio is like psychic kind of stuff It's not misclean oh Yeah, she does like like an overnight show where you can call in hey this guy broke my heart or I want to sing a song out The no that's amazing Like doctor drew Okay, I mean I

Fuck yeah, I mean You know, you can operate a forklift You can't operate a forklift. You know it's crazy if you have Christina here. Yeah. What do you mean? You got it. You got to have her and you got to ask her that. Because her dad had a forklift operation.

He built and repaired and restored and sold forklift. Like she knows so much about forklift. She took her driving test on. Yeah, exactly. Like she's going to hit so many high marks on this. I can't wait. She really knows. She'll weld why I thought she said it's a propane for her.

But that's the ZX 24. Yeah, like huh? Damn. All right, you know how you get things now if you get like pretzels or something like that. Now they have the resealable bags. Will you tear that or cut that? It comes with the ease of opening it. Some of them

are very frustrating. Yeah. I get I get I get very upset. I can just see you struggle with the matter. And then I cut I cut it menacingly and I try to teach it a lesson. But when they tear easily, it's it's nice. Very nice. Yes. Now if you get take out, will you if you get food delivered or whatever to the house, will you plate the food or eat it out of the container? It's in again, this is a question. I mean, I have done both. Sure. Like I feel a lot better. If it's like something you get like a nice meal delivered. Sure. Nice to remove it and put it on the plate, especially if you're going to have like a knife involved. Yes. Right. But of course, like You're just, you know, over the sandwich or burger. Yeah, I just want to like wolf that. Yeah. Yes. Right? But of course, like, you're just, you know, over the sand with your burger. Yeah, I just want to like wolf get at it.

Yeah. Okay. Do you like lady fingers? The cookie lady fingers? Is it like a butter, it's like a butter cookie? Yeah. It's like what would they make Terra Masu out of? I would say yes.

How many bathing suits do you have? More than one? Yes. Yes. Yes. How many do you have? More than one? Yes. Yes. I mean, you have a fair and one best of all of them. Yeah. I got what?

Do you wear jeans like a Mexican? Sometimes. If the water's cold. When you guys are done with the sponge at the sink, will you put it underneath the sink or throw it out? Do you have a little collection of old sponges under your sink? That's a constant rotating thing.

Like collecting them? Paddy's, my mom's got like four or five that are used. So once it's done being used for the dishes, then it's used to scrub something. Oh, I got you. I brought it down to the washing room to look where the laundry is. And I don't know what she does with it.

Yeah, I mean, I look, they, I'll be honest. I don't do a lot of sync work. I'm not doing a lot of work anymore, I know. I've seen, like, we've had them, I've seen piles by the sync, I have seen them below. I went the other day to use the grill and that's what I always do is like trying to find. And I found some like, you know, the metal,

yeah, steel wool. Yeah, steel wool, so I cleaned the grill with that. And then it's like, it's just a asshole, you have to toss that. Of course. But I also am a big fan of talk. Like, something's run it's course, I like to rub it out.

I like to toss. Really? Yeah. What if it's like a real expensive one, like a scrub daddy or something like that? Then it stays. But like you're Christina, by the way, is like a real like that. Then it stays. But like your Christina by the way is like a real like

lunatic about uh, she tosses food so fast. Really? Yeah. Yeah, but hers is because she has a fear of getting food poisoning. Sure. Like a real, real fear.

So I'm kind of with it on that. I'll be like, where's the fucking? Where's lunch? Yeah, where's the chicken? And she's like toss it. Like you tossed me to last night. It's fucking good. She's like, uh, yeah We don't we don't roll the dice with that the folies that goes that goes right away. Oh right away. Yeah, all right Fuck me got us again the fucking dead the right this guy I got nothing. I mean there was you keep the box of things after you buy something when you keep the box for a while

I got I got better at it. So now I dispose but I was bad for a while. I was I was a I was basically I was it was a Christina thing where she was like So put the all the flesh. We don't need 40 beef. Yeah, and I and I so now I get it But I'm always feel like I don't have the box In there's something in there that I'm gonna need. It's like this. So I just take everything out. I do have the cables and now I dispose of. But I was a bad box collector for a long time.

God damn it. What about an egg with two yolks? Will you eat it? Give me something, will you? Yeah, I eat for this. That and the vest, I think we got them. Yeah, I think you got them. God damn it. These clasps. Humpsag him. Yeah, I think you got it. God damn it.

He's classy. Tom Sigoura. Yeah, what's that? Class. That's like, he's got a Lincoln on his hand. Yeah. And the BW was a Lincoln. He just hands it to you.

Okay, giving it a skit. God damn it, Tom Sigoura. All class. Second time in a row, all class. Number one on Netflix right now pretty excited. That's awesome. It's led generation. It is unbelievable. Thank you brother. It's a look what you guys have built is awesome. I'm a huge huge fan. Thank you. I hope you just fucking ride this wave. You guys have built it's a it's such a fun show to watch to

be on. I'm really happy for you guys success. So I hope you just keep Thank you very much. We love you. We love you. We love you. We love you. such a fun show to watch, to be on. I'm really happy for your guys' success, so I hope you just keep going. Thank you very much. But we love coming through on the love of them, man. We love them, yeah. Congratulations, thank you so much for coming in. Anything else you want the folks out there to know other than check out Sledgehammer on Netflix.

We just want to sledgehammer and go to TomSger.com for upcoming shows, that's it. Yeah, Kippy, what do you got for? RUGarbers.com, all of our live shows are selling out. We're adding some dates, get the tickets, it's a good time, get it. We love you, we're gonna get you one of selling out. We're adding some dates. Get the tickets. It's a good time, gang. We love you. We're going to get you one of these days.

We're going to get you. I'll come back anytime. Gang, we love you. We'll see you next week. Peace.