Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Tom Thakkar #3!

Episode Date: April 25, 2022

Kippy & Foley are joined by old pal and one of the garbage kings - Tom Thakkar! Thanks for listening. Love youse guys.  Live Shows: https://linktr.ee/AreYouGarbage PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://www.bonfire.com/store/are-you-garbage/ https://www.BlueChew.com Promo Code: GARBAGE https://www.athleticgreens.com/GARBAGE

Gang, before we hit the fun button in the episode, let's talk about the good old middle-class famous tour. Oh, wee. Talking stand-up show, play a little AYG with the crowd. It's a good time. Grab the homies, grab the bozos, grab your gal, grab your guy, come out and see us. We're coming everywhere.

Yeah, guys, we're going to be in Denver, Phoenix, Salt Lake City, Chicago. Chicago. Late show at it, first show showed out. Then we're going to be in Rosemont. Rosemont. Ew, baby. Petilos.

Then we're going to Pittsburgh, Buffalo, and Detroit in June. Get those tickets. We'll see you there. Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there.

And welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast. This is Are You Garbage. Sure is. So a little show, we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find out they grew up to be classy. Yeah. Or they're just a big old piece of trash. I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day.

Down here in Antutti's basement, she's upstairs doing a little spring cleaning at the neighbors who was out of town. So a little trouble coming. My co-host is coming at you from right next to me. He is the CEO of Are You Garbage. He's an international businessman and my best pal, luckily, give it up for KJ, Kevin, James Ryan.

But we now call him Kev. I don't know if I like that. I think I said that last time. What's up, everybody? Just Kev. Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes, full video available on YouTube

as you know those numbers are. Truder out. Cooking. And then obviously, the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com slash Are You Garbage. Sign up, get a bunch of bonus content. We got the Cribs videos of both of our houses on there, the Shore video, got a Montego video.

We got a whole bunch of shit on there. You can see you get bonus episodes live streams the whole nine yards. Check it out. Plus the big storyline, the big drama, the season, that hard feelings. Yeah. Twists and turns.

Also, Fat Court season two. Fat Court season two. Who needs Yellowstone when you got that Patreon? All the drama you need. Have a nice quick shout out to our producer extraordinaire. The magic man makes us all look good. We love him. You love him.

Give it up for T-Bone McScruffins. Tobi McButtons. What's up, dudes? Hey, T-Bone. Yeah, we're going for a daytime Emmy on that Patreon. Fuck yeah. Sweep, sweep. Let's go.

Man, I like it. And gang, we have a very special guest back with us again today. He's a part of the Third Timers Club. I think fourth, maybe. Fourth? Oh, no, this is three. This is three.

OK. Yeah. Good friend of ours, family at this point. We like to keep a tight circle. Yeah. We don't want a lot of bozos running around. Fucking ding-dongs. We bring in the dirtbags we know.

Yeah. The devil you know is better than the devil you don't. I'll tell you that right now. Give it up for Tom Takar, everybody. Hey, Tommy. What up, boys? Bully, Kev. Good to see you.

Tobi. I feel like me and him just didn't sit here for 40 minutes. Yeah, we've already done with the show, man. We're all day. He drinks nook with dinner. It's a wrap. You went over there getting your lip all bloody to come in. Shaking off a colesaur.

It's in a very, very delicate stage. Oh, shit. Is it full blown? What is it? Frobby. Fourth quarter. Yeah. I'm in the fourth quarter.

I got a real nail biter going with this colesaur. Two on, two up. It's a bad scene. It looks good this year. It's in its healing process. It's in recovery right now. It looks angry. It just got out of rehab.

So that's when it starts cracking and bleeding and stuff. Yeah. Very delicate. You got colesers? You're a real piece of tragedy. You know the stages of herpes. Yeah, he's a doctor, but only for fucking bullshit like that. Only for dirtbag ailments.

Put a little butter on it. You'd be all right. You got colesers? No, never. You got anything weird like that? Anything weird like that. I'll get like a pimple every once in a while. But not.

Skin tags. You got to see the tags, too. Yeah, I keep it clean. Got good skin. I do my bad. It's the booze that kills all the disease that they get in pop up. Cured myself at gonorrhea. Yeah, it sterilizes you.

No skin tags? No. I have like a little mole or whatever back here. A mole or a cyst? I think it's a mole. It's got like, you know, it's like brown or whatever. That's a mole, right? I don't know.

Let me ask him. How often do you go into the doctor? Oh, never. Never, right? Kidding me? I don't have health insurance. Me never come from a very similar club. When's the last time you had a checkup?

Oh, 12th grade, physical. Are you serious? What the fuck? He didn't get held back 12 years. He was 28. And I should probably go. My asshole hurts all the time. That's all right.

That's the drinking, too. Just running around with the check engine light on. Yep, yep, yep. That's all right. I went to the, I got dental insurance. So I've been, I got my wisdom teeth taken out finally. I got two, I still got two left. Wait, you have dental insurance and not health insurance?

That's a real trashy. It's a scam, too, man. That is pretty crazy. It's cheaper. It's like having a boat and not a car. I figure if there's anything pressing, I can throw the dental insurance at them, you know? If there's any sort of emergency.

My teeth are in my mouth. My mouth's connected to my neck. My neck's connected to my chest. I fixed my broken arm. If I go to the dentist, I'm like, hey, by the way, my asshole is currently fucked up. You want me to start taking your pants off? It's a cleaning.

You're here for a cleaning, though. Where did you get that down? I can put a little. Where did you get that gown? I can put a little fluoride on it if you want. Here comes Mr. Thirsty. Trying to get away with that. Going to an emergency room with that and a blockbuster car.

Trying to get your ass. One of these has got to do something. I got a David Buster's car in here. I do have a David Buster's car in my office. Do you have a David Buster's car in your wall right now? Yeah, so do I. I'm not losing those points, you get me? If I am at a comedy club like in a mall,

that's a good time after a show. It's my workout. I'll go shoot some hoops. It's a good time. Hey, where's the locker room? Is the steam room open? He's got his sweatpants on. He's stretching.

Let's have a good game out there, fellas. You're going around challenging people, huh, little one-on-one, huh? Doing shirts and skins in a David Buster's. Man, that's the dream, dude. We watched fully assault a VR machine in Sierra. We hooked him up to a VR machine after about 18 martinis. Dude, he almost beat the poor waitress up.

She almost caught up. She almost caught an elbow. Dude, it was peaceful to get it. Oh, it was all over the place. I tell you what, man, I used to be anti-VR. Hook me up to that thing and fucking get me a steady stream of Mountain Dew Code Red. I'm all right.

Played Star Wars, and I was in there fighting. You're still gaining weight while on VR in the virtual reality. You're looking at a McDonald's. You're waiting in a drive-thru? You got damn traffic. You got nobody working here today. What's going on? I could smell Darth Vader's breath.

That's how fucking real it was. Oh, you did that one? Were you in Vegas? Vegas. Wait, where did you do that VR? I mean, what are you guys, like, VR quarterly? What the fuck? Holy shit.

You went to the David Buster's in Vegas? There's a Darth Vader VR in Vegas that's like way too expensive, but it's fun as hell. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And my buddy freaked out on it. That's how real it was, is he, like, freaked out. He shot the woods out of it.

It's a real cool friend. Yeah, he's a good guy. Real tough guys. That Ewok looked at me. No, it was in a lovely Syracuse, New York. Oh, OK. Had a David Buster's in the mall there. You fight Darth Vader.

That was about it. You get a lightsaber. I mean, he played for like two minutes. He got out of it. That was the craziest thing I've ever taken part of. Talked about it for three weeks. And let's get into it. You were mentioning before, off-air,

that you happen to be down in the city of Brotherly Love. That's Philadelphia Pencil. Philly, baby. What were you doing down there? I was at the helium for a little weekend, jaunt with us, Steve Byrne. It was a good, good time. What a club.

What a town. Oh, love it. Good stuff. I ate at Wawa five times. Five times, and I felt like shit the whole week. It is good. Dude, you don't feel good. I had it twice this weekend, breakfast, and then a dinner.

And my god. What'd you get? I got a cheese steak. I got a cheese steak at Wawa. I've never done that. I heard that's where the place to go. I was running late for a megabus. I was like, I got to get a cheese steak before I get out of here.

I got to get a cheese steak. Running late for a megabus. Dude, there was like Rocky here. There was like 60 people at one of the Wawa's. It was Easter Sunday, and I had to leave. Where are you going to get the ham? Did your animals have families? So I got a cheese steak.

I got a chicken sandwich. I got one of those pretzels with the cheese in it. Yeah, there you go. It was dry as hell. Yeah, in the heat lamp? Yeah. Yeah, they're hit or miss. They're on paper that they're fantastic.

Yes, I've had a good one. I've had a good one, and I got some for business this time. You've got to go with the traditional Wawa pretzels they have in the line there. They're usually pretty moist, pretty good. Sometimes they get a little wet next time. I don't know what that is. The salt brings it out of the.

I didn't know they didn't sell beer at Wawa. And so late at night, I felt so bad, because there's like a teen working the front desk, and I was all like, give me the beer. There's all ham right here. There's all hairline. Where do you keep the booze? Where do you get a beer around here?

And the girl was like, I don't drink. I don't drink. Where do you get a beer? Come on, you want to get out of here. It's not the 1840s. Where do you get a beer, yeah. You flipper a quarter? Whiskey, meat, and a hot bath in it,

in a chicken dinner. This is my favorite tavern, this is a good bar. Hey, this is a good bar, two hot tits. Hear your spurs. Table for one, sugar tits. Smoking if you got it. So anyway, first night in Philly, it's Thursday night. Thursday night.

The host is like, I'm going over to this Raven lounge right after the show. The world famous Raven lounge, where I met Mr. H. Schmoley. I remember it well. Yeah, you guys are legends of this room. They were all talking about you, but. Wait, really? Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

I think one person was like, yeah, I think, I think Kev used to come around here. I think Ken and Harry used to run the show. Ken and Harry. That's all right, the Ken and Harry show. We are old people when we go back there. I mean, think about it. When I started, I was in the early 20s or whatever.

So it was like, it's all, it's a very younger group. I go up there, they're like urging me to sit down. They're like, please go sit up front. I was like, I think I'm going to be on the show. And they're like, no, we don't care. Go sit up front, please. All right, that's a thing. Where you have to, you have to make it look like it's filled

with audience members. So a lot of times they make the comics sit in the audience. Yeah, so. I never did that. Yeah, well. I was like, build up in the back. I'm busy meeting my guy in the alley. I want to preface, I had a great time.

All the people were having fun hang, but they tell me I'm going to go up last in the like first group or whatever. Sure, that's the hot spot. Hot spot. They act like they were like, they were like, they were like, hey, we're putting you in the spot. This is going to be big.

We're going to give you this. This is going to be big for you. This is going to change everything. This is ready to get back to Ken and Harry. We developed that system. You're going to be able to afford to Nix after this. You don't got to go to Wawa. That's the West Coast offense right there.

Put the big dog at the end of the showcase. They go, you're going up last. So that's like an hour and a half later from when I get there. But right before I go up. You still sitting in the front row? I move, I bounce around. I'm mingling.

I'm mingling. You're up front heckling. Next. He's staglin' a beer. So finally, right before they're like, you're up next. No, they didn't even tell me I was up next. You're up in two. The guy who was supposed to be before me is on.

And then the host, I don't want to name names. And all people in this story are good people. Sure, yeah. Oh, I know. Right before I go on. So this guy who's up before me gets off stage. The host goes on and makes fun of that guy's set. He's like, you have some nerve coming up here doing some

bullshit like that up here. It's all in good fun. The guy who's getting off stage does not take it well. Really? He goes, well then stop fucking hitting me up to do my show. And then the host is like, you got to have me on your show. Because I'm a billion fucking times funnier than you. You aren't shit.

And this isn't just stage shit. I'm going to tell you this when I get off stage, because it's not like that. That's the radio lounge. Here we go. That's what I'm fucking talking about. Then he says, and here's your next comic, Tom Takar. Give it up for this pussy.

I'll fight him too. So everybody leaves to go watch it, because he follows the guy right out. And it was awesome. It was such a fun like here. That is Philadelphia. Chicago is like that too. Even telling us that I got fired up again.

I love that energy of like, oh, it's going to happen. Me and Chris Cotton used to have literal screaming matches from the DJ booth from the stage. Like, like, mom and dad screaming at each other. Midshow. And then also that show used to have the DJ would have a mic. And you could just like interrupt people's sets that were like that had waited like three and a half hours

to get on stage. Like, dude, you suck. Hell yeah. It was how many needs that shit sometimes. It's fun. Yeah. I remember there was a kid that came there. Young kid.

I was nice to him. Was it me? Kind of balding. Had like a volleyball. Because he's like a demon. And he had horrible chap lips. Like, I mean like university level chap lips. And he got on.

I was hosting and I took him off stage. And I made fun of his chap lips. Killed. And he ran out. And I never saw him again. That was me. He wished I was you. Yeah.

I got to do it times. That's good stuff. But you had a good time. It's a good place. Great time. Great hanging. Shout out to the Raven Lear. Did you do any citywide specials down there?

What was that? Citywide specials. Like, I'm walking to like the bar you said you were at. Drinkers and just like any kind of bar. And you get a shot. You get a paps and a shot at Well Whiskey for $5. Ooh, no. And you say, just give me the special.

Oh, no, I didn't. I wish I would have known that before. That would have changed my whole trip. He gets up and leaves. I'm going to save my life. Goes right back down there. It's just a cloud of smoke. Yeah.

So next time you'll be like, hey, do you have the special? And it's called the citywide because a lot of the most of the, you know, a lot of bars do it. I would have been doing that too. I was drinking yinglings though. It was a good little time. Yingers are all right. You've got to get them in when you're down there.

You have drinks at the Raven? You have a couple of beers here? I had a couple $9 beer. That was a good time. Paps. You seem to be over it. That's the sort of thing that I'll all day the next day. I was like $11 for a little whiskey.

That's all right. I'll get it back somehow. I imagine I'll throw a brick through the window. You strike me as a man who likes reasonably priced alcohol. Yes, I like it. I like it good. I like it cheap. I like it in big bulk.

I want a Sam's Club deal at your bar. Look, I mentioned I have dental insurance. He's trying to get in a Sam's Club. He might not be a member. Can I have a pallet of Jameson, please? No, no, no, no. I had a bucket of beers. I want a bucket of beer.

Oh, God, that's great. All right, let's do some cues. Yeah. What do you say? We got Tom here who's going to be answering your question. As you know, when you sign up for the old Patreon-ay, you might be able to get a question read on the air. No, you will when you sign up for Patreon.

If it gets through Kevin's rigorous screening process. Can I say real fast? Sure. I heard a question that really, I was listening to the finance episode. Lay it on us. And the question, yeah, shme and push my dance. Shme and push my dance?

Oh, yeah. There was a question that was like, have you ever gotten a haircut in a mall? And it triggered something in me. I used to get my haircut at Walmart. What? There was a little salon at Walmart. And I'm not kidding.

They used to have that. They came up with stuff, used to have that. And it was the best haircut I ever got. So good that it was this gay dude named Duncan. And he had long, beautiful hair. He would go hair. And when he left the Walmart one, we followed him. We said, we're going.

We're walking with Duncan. Yeah. He became our guy. Where did he go? Fantastic sayings. Wait, did he go to? He's over at Sears now. He does photos and haircut.

Kmart, yeah. Damn. He works at the little Seasons. I do remember that. There would be like a little boutique. They'd have like two chairs or whatever. You can go get your hair done. I don't remember that.

I remember just going way back. You guys are too young for this. But Kmart had a diner in it. What? Yep. They had a fucking counter. And they had stools, a whole nine yards. They had like the blue plate special.

Yeah. Damn. Like one of my cousins or aunts worked. She was the waitress. Man, imagine being a waitress at a Kmart diner. She cleaned up. Really? Good.

It was like. I mean, the savings. The savings alone. 20% of pay a lot. But the cheap clothes were never ending. And then that got shelved, the transition into the 80s and the 90s. Then they would have like, there would be like a pizza hut.

Yeah, they had little Seasers there when I was a kid. And I loved little Seasers because of that. I loved little Seasers. In the 80s, in the early 90s, it was so the square pie, they fucking did it right. They weren't around when I was growing in my area. You couldn't get. They left for a while, right?

They like left for a while. Yeah, then they came back with the hot reddies that I'm not big on the hot reddies. I don't know. It's one of those that if I'm on a pinch, I would do it. But there's just so much better pizza, you know? I don't even know if I ever had it. When it came back, I went $20 eighth and a hot reddy?

You guys didn't have a childhood. What are you talking about? Hot reddies didn't do it for me either. There's something about it sitting in that heat lamp. It's not even that hot. Oh, we're that ready. Now it needs a couple more minutes. 20 minutes.

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I've said this before. I don't mind a slice of pizza to 7-Eleven, which is crazy. I mean, I ate one of those twist roller things at the 7-Eleven. Yeah, I ate a taquito on the way here. I can't believe you didn't know what a taquito was. A twist roller. They call them twisters or something like that. So there is the big roller.

There's the meat twister or something. Yeah, I wanted to call it by its proper name. There's the proper taquitos, yeah. I'll tell you what. You want to treat yourself. And this is the old days. I'm not doing this now. Just to practice it.

You get yourself one of those cheeseburger logs they have in there. I'm telling you right now. They call them cheeseburger dogs. No, bites. Cheeseburger bites. So I've heard. Little chunks of cheese in there.

Tell any man. Maybe blow your hair back. Some of them, they do all. I mean, they move a lot of product. They know what they're doing. I had wings there before drunk. I went back in for like second and third. Really?

We were eating on the hood of a car. He's asking to meet the chef. Hey, is Louie still here by any chance? They just open a frozen bag. There you go. I've never tried the wings there. Oh, they're phenomenal. The oysters are unbelievable.

Fresh water, too. You got to have the caviar. I love a 7-Eleven. Oh, yeah. They've gone to shit in the city. They're fucking, it's chaos in the city anymore. It's borderline. Like you were saying about the megabush drivers.

They are not just convenience store workers. They are bouncers. They're social workers. They're doctors. They're therapists. They're therapists. They're doing it all. And they're fucking prison guards at Rikers.

I mean, you walk into a place and they got the soda locked up. The soda? Dude, I know. You got to hit them up. It's insane. Legit, the 7-Eleven by the seller, I'll have to have them get me a fucking Red Bull. Well, that one is.

That's in the fucking belly of the beast. The one around here is dicey. Not to mention, we pulled in the garage today. It looked like fucking Seattle. Everybody on Sub Pop was out there fucking spiking up. Really? Dude, right? 100% there were five people.

There were five people just shooting heroin. I can't wait to get some CDs from them. No, in the garage. In the garage. What? It's cold out. What do you want? Hey, you got to get your fix.

It must be awesome. Oh, yeah, the feeling when it hits. Man, I'd love to try it. Oh, yeah, let's do it. Patriot. This kid's got a business savvy mind. What do we got right now? We're at, like, 3808.

We hit 3809. I'm spiking up. You pull out your joint in right away. Dude, do you keep your butter? Where's the butter at? Oh, god. Man, good times. All right, let's get into some cues here.

This is from, so as the big man stated when you join the Patreon, we will answer your garbage question on the air. Just the best way to do it. Patreon gets first best crack at it. Of course, at a homey. If you do send one that comes across my radar from another angle. That tickles as fancy. And it's that good.

We'll use it, of course. But we're working through a bit of a backlog over there at the old Patreon. They're jumping on the fish or jumping on the boat over there at Patreon. Love it. Love it. Shout out to the homies and the bozos.

All right, this one is from Chris first time, long time. Is it garbage to use a meat Thurmeaminer? Is there a meat Thurmeaminer? Got a fucking meat Thurmeaminer. That's Ian popped out. My Thurmeaminer. Holy shit, score with a lot of chicks in high school, didn't you?

Got the captain of the football team over here. My Thurmeaminer. That goes right in your butthole, doesn't it? Oh, my god, meat Thurmeaminer. Holy shit, Gleekwarp's back, everybody. Try to wink and say Thurmeaminer. My Thurmeaminer. You know, he can't wink, right?

Oh, I saw that there. That was killing my hand. He's got his shirt. The New York Times terrifying. That's the picture they should use when he dies. Or if he gets canceled there. Oh, yeah, that's the one. Look a weirdo.

Not allowed around playgrounds anymore. Can you wink? No, that's not great. What the fuck? I got it, though. You're not closing any deals with that. You're no Bert Reynolds, I can tell you that. That's not bad.

I do have to do the mouth thing, though. Any other weird thing? What's your whistle situation? Can't do it. Fingers? I throw up. I'll throw up if I try that. If I do the finger, I don't understand.

Where are you putting the fingers? It'll go all the way in. That's why I've been doing it wrong. I put it in like a thermeameter. Thermeameters go over the tongue. Do you whistle with it under the tongue? I can't do it. I can't whistle at all.

I thought I could for a minute. I was doing that. I can whistle. I was like, mommy, I can whistle. Good job, Tom. Trying to keep a dog from attacking you. Easy does it. Can you glee?

What is that? It's a new dance. It's like the mashed potatoes. Isn't that just where you spit? Is that a talent? I thought it was an accident. It's a new thermeameter thing. You just fuck up.

I can do it. You can do it on command. It shoots from under the tongue. I can do it on command. Let me do it. I mean, I guess I'm dry. I'm out. I don't think that was that.

Yeah. I'm double-jointed. Is that in there? Let me see. Oh, that smells good. How far can you put your arm back? Oh, is that something? I don't know.

These are weird ones. This is some hillbilly-ass shit where you're like, oh, you can't do that. You can put his arm behind him like he had never put his arm behind him. I got a deviated septum. Is that count? He goes, I don't know.

Let's see. Ah! Oh, my god. This is a bonko's one, folks. All right, let's get back to Chris's question. Are you serious? All the stuff fucking around, all right? Is it garbage to use a meat thermometer as a regular one

when you're sick? Oh, yeah. Yeah. I don't even know how that works. I've done it. I thought I could do it with that big metal one that's like this thick that you put in like a turkey. Jesus.

It starts at like 280. So you don't even register on it. If it pops, you have a fever. We would have done that. We never had a meat thermometer. No. It was all eyeballs. You got an eyeball in your food.

Yeah, we had a big metal one. It was like an ice pick. Yeah, we never had that. We had a regular thermometer. I'd go the other way. I'd put the regular thermometer in the meat. This turkey needs to take a cool bath. These pork chops got the fever.

We have to rush this thing to the hospital. Get your dental insurance card quick. The ambulance comes. Who's sick? The pot roast. That was very 80s. I loved it. Who's sick?

The pot roast. Regular thermometer. You had just a glass one, right? Yeah. Yeah. At any point, or do you currently have like the, we recently just got a digital one. Yeah, I got a digital one.

My mom has the gun. Really? Yeah, like a bouncer. What? They got real cheap over the pants. They were like $7. I started cranking them out. I got to get one of those guns.

I don't know how to use them. There's no way that they're accurate. No. Yeah, I remember when the ear came out. Yeah, yeah. When the ear one came out, because to be honest with you, my mother was strictly anal. Is that right?

Most of mine still is. Yeah, yeah. How'd she have you? That's why he's so big. A little ran down. That's why he's so big. You can't put a magnifying glass on some of these. We're moving the light speed over here, Tom.

Just fucking laugh and move on. I remember the first time she did it. It was very uncomfortable. We're in a dog fight, right? And she strapped it all. I don't know what the poppers were doing there. Should we put a skirt on? It was weird.

Wait, really? We never did that. Never in the bud. I don't think you should. No. And not for. I think it's more accurate, they say, because it's in you. Yeah, it's like, do you know what?

I'm sick or I'm not sick. I need a note or not. Yeah, you need fucking 0.3 degrees, whatever. It feels like it's going to be. Isn't it hotter down there anyway? It feels like it'd be hot. I would assume my butthole runs a little hot. I don't put my.

If I've been dancing, it's like an old Dobson. After a night of Molly and fucking dancing on the floor, yeah, of course it is. A party back there. It's not the act of it, because I'm all for it. You know what I mean? Sure. I get freaky-deaky, but your mom doing it was weird.

Do you remember that? I think that's the thing you shouldn't remember. Oh, dude, I'm telling you, she did it way too long. I would say 10, maybe 12. 20 minutes ago? Yeah. She does it every time I go home. Let's check your three meters.

Yeah, that's bananas. And the meat one, that's a tough look. But you're kind of a classy person if you have one of those. That's true. That's tricky. I'm surprised that a human being has a meat thermometer and not a regular thermometer. Yeah.

That might get to each other out. You ever break one of those? A thermometer? Yeah. What's it called? The government or something? There's like mercury in it, right? Yeah, put the mercury right in your hand.

No. Yeah. Was that bad? Isn't that it? Doesn't it burn through your hand or something? Mercury poisoning is like horrible. No, it just floats around in your hand a little bit. Really?

Yeah. Try this at home. So good. That's it? Yeah, Google this, Tob. Yeah. Are you googling on your phone? Yeah, we had to reupload the episode because that didn't take.

Gotcha. Nice. Take that. YouTube. YouTube. All right, let's see here. Well, back to T-Bone in the information corner in a minute. This is from Andrew, I never had one read.

Anyone you know refer to their genes as dungarees? We were a big dungarees house. Really? Yeah, my dad was, that's a nice pair of dungarees. Where are my dungarees? He would get them dry cleaned. He would get his dungarees. Dungarees, are those like nicer pants?

No, they were Levi's. I don't know where dungarees came from. I don't know. We're going a little Caesar's. Make sure you wear your nicer pants. Yeah. Dungarees is whack. Those are thick genes that don't fit well or brood.

Dungarees. Why do they call them dungarees? It derives from the Hindi word dungaree, denoting a heavy coarse, durable cotton, twill, woven from colored yarns. Dungaree eventually became for a specific blue denim trousers from the late 1800s. I thought it would be more Western.

Yeah. Well, I was full on thinking Australia. Really? I was going on. Dungarees, that kind of makes sense. Yeah, injury do, dungarees. If you're sat in an accent, it rings true. You're throwing your dungarees.

Got your dungarees on, do you, mate? Ready to fight the kangaroo. That was on dungarees. These are dungarees. We had slacks. We did slacks. We called them slacks. Put on a nice pair of slacks.

Slacks is so big. So I can take your temperature. Chinos. Yeah. I'm not really sure what they are. That's a specific type of pant, though, isn't it? But it was always a fight when I went. It was always a big thing when we had to go out and buy a pair.

I got to take them and get a pair of chinos. They look terrible. That was khakis for us. Khakis. Yeah. When khakis came around. We'd go in the church. Golf shirts we would wear.

We call them polos. Yeah, we call them golf shirts. And a nice golf shirt. What do you, a Kennedy dirt bag? I think it's trashier. I call it a golf shirt. Yeah, it's named after a small. Bowling shirt would be more.

It's just the same shirt, I guess. No, bowling shirt is button. Yeah, yeah. And you're names on it, I would say. I really wish that they would slightly come back. Bowling shirts? Yeah, like what Charlie Sheen wore on two and a half men. Yeah, yeah.

That is you at your peak, I feel like. Well, I do feel you, you know. Bring it back. This isn't a fat joke by any means. You are big enough to wear whatever you wear. The size, it's just like kind of zany. It works. Fat guys can get away with stuff because you know what I mean?

You're like. Tuxedo. Look at this goofy motherfucker. Look at this fat ass wacky guy. He's getting married today. He wore that. Played basketball in a tuxedo. I'm just saying you can, you know, it's not weird.

Just, you know. I know, and I pushed that a little bit. You do. And that's why I'm saying it. Yeah, of course. I don't know, though. Those seem, I feel like if I wore that on stage, I would always bomb because it's so hack to wear that shirt.

Plus my materials. Ain't the best in the Navy. But I would, dude, those feel so like Kramer shirts. Oh, yeah. Love the Kramer shirt. That's why I wear like the thing that I wore, the purple one. I got my ranch shirt that I got ranch all over. Oh yeah.

He's been referring to a shirt that he stained as the ranch. I was imagining like a cowboy shirt. Like the fucking rope on a Chipotle ranch. On a tuner sandwich that we have out there in La La Land. Someone get my mayo pants. My mayo dungarees. I wore it on the Josh Potter show. Ooh.

What's your name, grab? Fantastic episode. I got your line on the mercury situation. All right. This is a warning that reads more like a challenge. Elemental mercury does absorb through your skin, but at a very slow pace. Parentheses very, very slowly.

Like they're basically calling you a pussy for not handing over mercury. I think we see you got thick-ass skin, brother. That's the problem. I think I'm putting that on my hand. It's sinking right through. Yeah, I'm not rolling the dust. Doesn't it burn?

I assumed it burned. Yeah, it must if it's going through your hand. No, no, no. As long as you don't expose your skin to the metal too much and wash your hands after that. What's too much? Too big. Too big to be fine.

Yeah. Shut up like a good time or not. You party or don't you? What's this on Barstool? Where'd you get this from? This is a vice article. It's Fidelberg's. Dr. John Fidelberg saying that.

All right, let's see. This one's from Rudy. If you get challenged to a foot race, are you doing it with your shoes on or shoes off? Wow. Which I think if you're ever, if you're in a situation where you're being challenged to a foot race and you accept, that's trash regardless of what you

run in. I've done this happens to me a lot. Everybody wants a piece of the king. Me and my buddies. Slowly at the top. I'll take off. You'll never win. No, this happens to me a lot.

I deal in a lot of challenges, a lot of push-up challenges, a lot of bodies when you're drinking. Or just a guy at a bar. I bet I could beat you with a race. A cop? No, it's buddies when we're drinking. I saw you from across the bar. You look like you think you're fast.

Came in here wearing track shoes, huh, boy? You look like you think you're faster than you are. That's a specific look that you could beat me. What was it? Is there any crazy challenge that you've done? Have you ever been hurt from boozing and doing something stupid, climbing a tree, trying to jump over a? Playing basketball at your shithouse,

because there's a court right outside of my apartment. And on my birthday last year, a buddy was like, let's go. I bet it started with like, I bet you anything, I'll make a free throw, and you won't. Yeah, and he missed, and then I was like, double it, and I'll make one. I sunk that shit. And then we played one-on-one in dress shoes,

and both got fucking fell over in her. Why were you wearing dress shoes? It was my birthday. Come on, man. But you were just hanging out at your apartment. I'm not going to change shoes to go outside. Also, he was in dress shoes. He can't wear my shoes.

That wouldn't be fair. Yeah, but why are you in dress shoes just in your apartment? Well, I was on the roof. Was there a gala happening? Look, it's my birthday dress. This is an event. There's one thing you know about Tom's car. I dress up.

The pigeons have a strict dress code up there. I was on the roof. I like how you tried to explain it in each turn. I didn't get it. No, I was on the roof. I'm not going to wear, you know. It's my birthday party. Did you have a birthday party?

There was people there. Oh, yeah. You didn't just dress up by yourself. No, I didn't just have a cigar by myself on the roof. Another year gone. Make your own cake. So you had a nice party up on top of the roof. Did you go up there a lot?

Yeah, it's a nice little roof. Are you allowed to be up there? That's a good question. That's where it's a little nice thing. I feel like you're not allowed. It's connected to our apartment. So I feel like, like, someone else's room. It's all, it's our roof.

It's our roof, but it's the building's roof. How do you say it's connected? Like you can go on a window? Outside my bedroom door is the roof. Oh, there's a door? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then yeah, of course you could be up there. It's our roof.

I think, kind of. But it's shared. It's shared with the building. How does everybody else get to the roof? There's two doors. There's another door. There's like a stairwell. There's a stairwell.

Yeah, everybody's welcome to come through. I don't really. I live in the stairwell. So it has another entrance to get out there. So you could literally wake up and look at your window and there's people. That happened. Well, somebody tried to break into our bedroom door

but they snuck up on the roof. I wasn't home. It was terrifying. Out of there. We almost moved. But we had them. We fought with them to put an alarm on the on that one door. So.

It's crazy that somebody was like, hey, man, someone tried to break in here. Can you put them on? New York, baby. They were like, well, it doesn't really matter. I got nice dress shoes in here. I'm just going to grab them. I'll say this.

Say it. Running in bare feet as a young man felt awesome on the grass and I felt faster. All during my lacrosse career in college, I never wore socks and my cleats because I felt like I was faster. I was freeing on concrete. Liberating. Liberating. Sure.

No underwear either. No, no. Thermometer remains. Thermometer remains. Thermometer. Just a shirt. Thermometer. Because we need to put it out there on my cross with a thermometer.

But I feel like that's a very dirt bag thing. Let me take my shoe. It's taken off your shirt in a fight. Anytime you're removing something, it's not a great look. And you're losing. Yeah. As we've covered. Yeah, you take your shirt off.

You're getting fight off. I feel like that's not a manly. Like women do that, Lily. I got to take my heels off for her to fight. But a man taking his shoes off is very strange. I don't want to see a bare foot, a bare man's foot in public. Unless you know karate. Right.

Then it's cool. Then it comes back around. Yeah. Yeah. Still probably getting your ass kicked, I feel for sure. You're still getting your ass kicked, I feel for sure. One way or the other. You're like, hold on.

I know karate. Your shoes off. You're changing to the whole karate outfit. Where's my gi? Oh, that's great. All right. Let's see. This is from Sean Mullin.

First time ever refill empty bottles of water with tap water and put them back in the fridge. Always. Really? I'm probably going to do that with this one. It tastes horrible. Oh man. You really know the difference. This, I feel like will taste right.

This will be fine. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I don't like drinking warm tap water. I don't like using ice when I can save it. And so I like to. What are you saving it for? What are you saving it for?

Spirit. Oh, for a special occasion. Nuclear fallout? Yeah. What do we have? Guests. Break out the good ice. How many ice trays do you have in your freezer?

Oh, we got. I got two regular. They match. And then I have a set of like the cocktail. The big square. Big squares and some the orbs. Really? Orbs become alive.

Real fancy. During the pandemic, I got into making cocktails. I feel like it was just like pop off vodka on ice. It's mostly a cherry Coke zero. That's your drink. It's good. I just got into it. It's very good.

Really? I just got into it. I've discovered formula one. What kind of rum we talking? Oh. Cappy, baby. Yeah. That was really good.

Everybody was doing captain and coax was like the big thing. But captain and ginger. Interesting. No, dude. That's what they had at the seller party. They had captain and ginger. Was it? Yeah.

I don't know if I had. I think I had a captain and Coke. When they were giving them around. It was all right. The captain and ginger wasn't bad. It's like cream sickly. Yeah. It's got the spiced rum.

It's got the ginger. What's the captain and Coke called? The other name for it. We just called it captain and Coke, didn't it? Nah, it's called something. A rock and roller or something like that. No. I'm telling you.

It has another name. It might be the Cuban word for it. What's the Cuban phrase for captain and Coke? I don't know. I'm going to start calling cherry coax and rum to car crash. No, no, no. I can't take credit for it. It's called the Calpe Corgi.

The Kuba Libre. Kuba Libre. Tim Calpakis came up with this drink. I can't take credit for it. What? The Calpe, the cherry Coke. He came up with it. He made it sound like there was a lot of money on the line.

I can't take credit. I don't want to get sued. He wasn't in a lab. I don't want to get sued. Somebody has to come up with this shit. Hey, man, you took credit for my drink. We're racing. Take your shoes off.

You've got to come up with a Mountain Dew-based drop shot, so you can call it the Dakar Bomb. Oh, that's not bad. Wow. Wow. You know what would be good? Have you ever had those Not Your Fathers Mountain Dews? No.

They have the Not Your Fathers Rupiers. They're like alcoholics. Spikes, yeah. They make Not Your Fathers Mountain Dews. Is it in a can? It's a bottle. It's in a bottle. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You dropped vodka in that and chugged it. I bet it would taste fucking terrible, but it would get you drunk. It'll do the job. It'll have you shooting foul shots outside of no time. Oh, man. Do one of those. Tag, are you garbage?

We will post that shit. I want to think of a better one now. Damn, a real one that we could do. That's a car bomb. I'll come up with one. We'll do one. We'll do it. On the Patreon.

Mostly I just drink whiskey. Or just kill your buddy to keep him quiet. That's good. Yeah, that's what a pro would do. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you're shot. I'm a shot and beer kind of guy as well. That's the way to go.

Yeah. Popping a little whiskey in a PBR. Or like, I'm a high life man. It's not every, I guess in Brooklyn, it's probably more readily available. The bar I go to in my neighborhood, they do, it's called a low life. And it's, you can do a whiskey in a high life.

It's great. Yeah, what's that? $7. $5. $5. $5. Brooklyn. It's a summer.

Woo. That's where, that's, oh. I'm gonna have one later. I don't think you need a lot of convincing to be honest with you. No, no, I was on the up and up. I've been sober for 10 years. I was drinking with you less than a week. I didn't count.

I was drunk. I didn't remember. I'm always sober. That alcohol took advantage of me. We both bonded at the cellar party over. We both were like, we're not. I'm like, I'm not even really drinking tonight. And like, we were both on our ninth beer.

Yeah. I'm like, this isn't drinking. If I don't wake up hungover, I'm not drinking. And I did wake up hungover. Me too. I was pretty fucked up. Yeah, you're drinking ginger ale and fucking Captain Morgan. It was so much sugar.

But my thought was like, I didn't start drinking to like 1130. So you can't get in too much trouble. That doesn't count. And then I was there till five or so. Still got a full, maybe four. I think I got home at five. Damn. Got home at five.

Oh, no. Not that late. You're really put. Yeah. I want to see how crazy he was. I've done it before. I fall asleep if I do that. And now if you take the, I take the AC,

you got to switch to a bus for half of it. I fell asleep on the bus. Last time I did, I fell asleep on the bus. They had to wake me up. And the depot. Yeah. I work there now. I had to pick up a shirt.

That's bad. I used to fall asleep on the bus. I can't believe I've never gotten robbed on the train without much. I fall asleep on it. I woke up out in Coney Island. I live all the way up town. They just skip over you. Nah, he ain't got nothing on him.

He got nothing but bourbon on the breath. But yeah, that was a big thing where I'm like, if I don't, six beers isn't drinking on it. No. Which is a problem. Yeah. No, you're good. Says the guy with dental insurance.

Come on. Yeah, I got dental. I'm good. Dental insurance. Did you feel a little empowered when you got dental insurance? Yeah. Felt like you had a little safety net. Oh, hot shit.

Throw it in people's faces and stuff. I don't need this. Everywhere I would take it, they were like, oh, this doesn't do anything. It doesn't do anything. It was like 15 bucks a month. And they were like, oh yeah, this doesn't even cover the cleaning. I don't know what it did.

It does grade it. Dental insurance is one of the biggest scams. Except for getting my wisdom teeth taken out. It was worth it for. Oh, I covered that. Yeah. Because that's about what? Like 1,500, 2,000.

It can be crazy. And it only cost me like 300 bucks, I think, to get two of them out. And I got the gas. It only cost me 1,450. They shouldn't tell you how much the gas costs. They were like, it's like an extra 150 bucks if you want to get the gas. I brought my own, dude. Yeah.

He's got the little. I'm way ahead of you. I'm talking with a huge balloon. Don't worry. I'm going to hold this mercury. It's good. Give me. Cooking.

Do you like the gas? The gas was good. I got some to go. I got a. He's got a Ziploc bag. You fill this up? I got a. Hey, can I get a roadie?

I got a growler of gas. Did they give you a little something to take the edge off? For the next couple of days? They did, but I'm not a pain pill guy. So. Interesting. Let's talk after the show. They still own your person.

I, they're not on my. No, I, I decided. I see me on your roof later tonight. Trying to break in. The problem is you can't drink with the pain pills. That's not true. That's what they say. Yeah.

Are you kidding me about that? The legit. Cause I already. You know, test the waters a little too much with how much I drink. So it's like, I don't want to do severe liver damage, but you know. Sure. No, that makes sense. I guess you.

Who cares? Captain. When you said that I did just have a flash of when we were talking, you had two of those rum and coax in your hands. I just had literally, we were sitting there talking about how we don't have drinking problems and he's got two plastic cups of rum and coax. But I never take Tylenol when I'm drinking. That would be crazy.

That's how I live forever. Advil. No. Thank you. Look, I like to take care of my body. It's my temple or whatever. One of each flavor. Yeah.

That's an old wise. I also had a whiskey on the side. Cause you had to go all the way down to the bar to get that. And then they were walking out with trays of the rum and coax, whatever the sponsor was. Once there's a free thing going. He's just following her around. I'm losing money not to drink. I love it.

Buddy, we're having fun over here. This one I've never thought of. This is from the milk man of the Midwest. Nice. First time long time. Is it garbage to keep a cafeteria tray in the car so you can eat while driving without making a mess? Whoa. That's crazy.

That's genius. Yeah. I've never heard of such a good idea. Probably on your lap. And then you just, everything goes on to your lap. That's a good idea. You're not worried about spilling. It's like you have one of the airplane seats in your car.

That's a good idea. Yeah. Think about if it's under your lap. It's under the steering wheel. It's not in the way. Yeah. I mean it is garbage for sure. Oh yeah.

How'd you get it? That's the thing. You gotta fucking sneak into a school. Don't worry. It's not for creepy shit. It's for. It's for fat guys though. For science.

Hey kid. Come here. You want to make a couple bucks? I'll steal one from my fucking Burger King, McDonald's. Oh right. Any fast food place. Well he said cafeteria though. That makes me feel like it's a child's.

Hospital maybe. Oh yeah. You know. Fast food places have. Yeah. Oh yeah. They have trays. For here to go.

Ah. For here to go. You gotta feel like a fucking piece of shit walking out of a Burger King with the tray snuck under your fucking shirt. Yeah. I got washboard abs. Oh god. That's a good answer.

That's great though. I mean that's something the listeners will feel start doing. I think that's gonna get to a move. That's next level thought process that I would have never thought of. New garbage treatment. That's good. I want to know if he stole it for that reason or if he just ended up with one and was like, oh this is perfect.

I mean how do you just end up with one? I don't know man. You'd be surprised. Hard sale? The game somebody had to get it the first time. I would say what he did is he walked in and he said. I don't know maybe a grandmother died left it. They said for here to go and he said for here.

Right. And then just walk out. But he's sneakily meant to go. Yeah. Maybe he works at McDonald's or something. That's good. Goes right to the supply. Either way, very smart but very, very trash.

That's really good. Yeah. I might do that. Plus you're eating in the car a lot. I eat Taco Bell in my car a lot and that's so messy but with a tray. Think about it, right? It's not bad. And your pants are clean.

Yeah. And you don't have to be so conscientious of where, you know. He can't drive any though. Are you washing the tray? What are you doing with the tray? You're just dumping out the window. The birds will take care of it. That tray is covered in blunt guts and bad weed too.

Yeah. A guy I know used to do. He used, he would have a Frisbee in the car to roll blunts on because it was curved. Like he would roll it on the inside. That way, if you're bouncing or whatever, nothing falls out. That's smart. Like because the CD case, you hit the brake, something, it slips. I remember he showed me that.

I'm like, where the fuck do you have a Frisbee, a Pussy? And he's like to roll blunts on. I'm like, oh my God. People are getting these ideas for free? That's crazy. Shit. This is nuts. This is crazy.

There's true genius out there. That's wild. I'm learning a lot, man. I'm going to get somebody a research and development over here. All right. Let's see. Speaking of Dave and Busters, this is from Devin. Is it garbage?

I got my waffle maker using tickets at a Dave and Busters. That is just good. That's good business, man. You're investing in your future. Walking out a winner, of course. How many tickets do you have? That's got to be a lot. Waffle maker.

That's got to be a lot. And is it a high quality waffle maker? I mean, I'm sure there's a list of 50 things I would take before a waffle maker. Also, a waffle maker is one of those things that I don't know if you guys are black Friday shoppers like me, but that's one of those. You're getting a waffle maker for $5 if you want it. Yeah. That's what I'm saying.

Unless it's like a fucking Swiss made waffle maker. How many times do you use that? How many waffles? That's another thing. I'm sure you could have got a TV, a cool fucking, some sort of cool electron. When's the last time you had a waffle? You could get a TV for the same price as a waffle maker at Dave and Busters, right? I don't know.

What's a waffle maker cost? It's got to be a lot. That's what I'm saying. I bet I want to know how much you spent in like at Dave and Busters buying the shit to get a couple hundred bucks. I would imagine. I bet you that's like $500 worth of playing games to get that. That's wild. Maybe a grand.

That could have been spent in the VR too. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I don't know if I'm going to get an answer. I tried seeing how many tickets it was. Yeah, I got nothing. Yeah, there's no way it's coming up. They're really pushing this chicken and waffles though.

They got cooking over there. D and B. I can't believe they have. Dude, I want to go to Dave and Buster. Now it's on the brain. Is there one in the city? I think there is one. Yeah, there's one in Times Square.

Yeah, there's one in Times Square. Yeah. That'd be a fun Patreon. Yeah. That's a good time, dude. A bunch of us just at Dave and Busters hanging boozing at the Olive Garden, maybe. I love getting hammered in at the fucking Dave and Buster. If we bring Tom and we get him to challenge random people at the Dave and Busters, that's a fucking fate.

It is my goal. It's like, if I don't leave with the record on the pop-up shot thing, I feel like a fucking failure. I feel like a loser all night. I think if you leave with it, you're still a failure. It's just calling balls and strikes over here, Tom. Take my dental insurance and leave. I was going to be treated like this. I'll be eating Taco Bell in my car if anybody cares.

All right, Tom to car versus the field in a Dave and Busters. Yes. Where are you putting your cash? Let's go. I mean, it's got to go with me. Has he been drinking? That helps. I'm saying he needs a couple in him.

I'm not betting on a sober Tom. Well, what time is it? I'm going for a big time. That's a fun video that we could do on the Patreon. It's in the city. It's easy. We can just go. We'll do a dinner at like fucking Apple Bear Fridays or something.

Hell yeah. We'll take you out for a night in the town. Let's go, baby. Let's go. You can wear your dress shoes. You have to wear your dress shoes. And then offer to raise somebody and take them off. Oh man, that's going to be tough.

I don't have a shoehorn. You're taking them off. Yeah. How am I going to get them back on? All right. Let's see. We got a couple more here. This is from David.

David, I feel this never had a question about this. I feel this has Tom all over it. Have you or anyone you know ever been to a backyard wedding? Oh yeah. Yeah. I've been to multiple. Yeah. Yeah.

Big Indiana. Honestly, they're kind of fun. Because you just get a big keg. It's a good time. Yeah. Half of them have worked for more than a year. Sure. I don't think it's, you know.

It's not one that normally lasts. The odds aren't in your favor. Yeah. But I have, and it depends on, I've definitely been to a park wedding too, or it's like they don't have, they shouldn't be doing it probably. That didn't pull the proper permits. Yeah.

Yeah. They're cooking on the grills in the park. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. I've done that. We got doorknobs on the registry. Man.

We need paper towels at the house. Those overhangs they have at the parks. You know what I mean? My villains. Dude, I went to a dry one of those and I was pissed. That's like the worst thing you could do to somebody. Yeah. It's tough, man.

It's just tough. Dry wedding is brutal. Where the cells, they get BYOB. I don't care. Yeah. Make it BYOB. Why was it a dry wedding? Because they didn't drink or just money?

It was a little from a column A a little bit. They were like, you shouldn't even bring. It was a religious ass. Oh, really? Yeah. I don't think I've ever been to a dry wedding. Fuck no. I'm out.

Don't worry. I don't even know if I've been to a cash ball. Don't worry. I went and did up a little bit. I went and did up. I went and did up. I brought my hose if he can't drink. He came out the night before and buried some beers in the park.

I was just talking to Brian Morton about that. I was just about to say. Brian Morton was telling us about. That's old. That was like from like a year or maybe not a year ago. That's an old thing though. Yeah. He sent that in Chicago.

Yeah. His boys buried booze. I heard about this. That went viral last year at a music festival. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. There's no metal detectors allowed. It's got a treasure.

Yeah. You just told me what do north is. Oh God. Who has a compass on them. Have you got a compass. That's trash backyard wedding never been. I've only ever been to weddings in traditional places. Definitely some like non traditional but it's still made.

It would have been like at the venue like not a church but at the venue outside or you know what I mean something nice never trashy it was always done well. You're talking like somebody's house. Yeah. Wow. Somebody was telling us. I just went to one in a barn that was like in the back of my buddy's house. It was fun.

Yeah. Does he live there. Yeah. Or he rented the barn. No he lived there in the barn. He's a horse. Uncle Ed or whatever Mr. Ed. His wife's to go.

No it was barn wedding. He's a horse. My buddy Josh Cox. Shout out to Josh Cox. Shout out to Rocks. My buddy secretary you know him. You know my buddy here comes sunshine. He was the best man.

Landbiscuit. Get a choice of votes or hey. I went with the hey. It was a nice time. We're having fun here. This one's not even a question. This is from official garbage inspector. My mother-in-law hassles me for free weed.

That's just not the classiest of statements ever. No. Wow. That's tough. Doing any kind of drugs with the parent. Tough. Yeah. Even just smoking weed.

I've smoked with someone else's parents. That's a great time. I never even enjoyed that really. Yeah. Weird the lines. I'm waiting for it to go south. Yeah. For them to freak out.

I think it's got to weed is as far as if we're doing ecstasy with your fucking grandma. It's not like it's not a good night. That's a tough one. Mr. Johnson's rolling his brain. Yeah. I'm always waiting for it to get weird because those old heads. They go to a wedding.

They get a couple in them. They think it's fucking groovy time. They're back in Laurel Canyon or things. These are something like that. They get too torched or whatever. And they don't know what the weed is like now. Dude. They take a fucking hit off some fucking sour diesel.

Yeah. I can barely fucking handle it. Yeah. Makes you know they're freaking out. Get over here. Like, hey, relax. Wacko. Then the wife catches them.

How you going, Bill? Uh-huh. That's the big thing too. Living my life, bitch. Everybody smokes cigs at weddings. So it's like I'm and I just I'm the only one in my family who just like kind of there's a lot of us but just blatantly smoking cigarettes. And then at a wedding everybody's like having pops and then I'm going out

and then I'm the asshole who's just like giving all of these non-smokers. They're like, he's out there smoking with Kevin. I'm like, motherfucker, he brought it back. What do you want from me? I started smoking cigars at weddings so that I wouldn't ask people for their cigs. That's pretty good. Yeah.

Yeah. Because you get to fix your out there because it is the social. You want to be more annoying. I like it. What the hell? I'm not asking for anything. You're going to burn the barn down, Tom. God damn.

That thing's filled with hate. You're scaring the chickens. Everybody stinks after I leave. Dude, those cigars, man. That's a tough one. You smoked the whole thing at once? Yeah. So you go out and have.

I actually. What are you, gone for two hours? That party. We were smoking them at the old deal. Yeah. I probably shouldn't say too much. Yeah. But I don't need to drill it in.

Reel it in. Clean it up. Yep. No. Yeah. I'll smoke it. I'll smoke a cigar. So you'll go out now.

It makes me sick. But it's good. But doesn't that take like an hour to smoke? It's not like a burning. It's like 30 minutes. Yeah, but you're out there. Everybody's hanging. Yeah.

Yeah. I only smoke them with Verzi. That's the only time I'll smoke them is with Verzi. That's it. But even when I'm smoking them, I'm like, all right, let me put this out and go outside and smoke it. Yeah. I prefer.

I'm like, that's just, I'm like. Take a break from a cigar. Have a smoke. Pack a lip. I'll get back to this in a couple of minutes. Anybody got a jewel on them? You're just feeling good all the time. That's Kramer.

That's Kramer. Yeah. My favorite Kramer. Yeah. When he just chugs the beer with the stick. Yeah. The stick turns it backwards. Yeah.

That's a good. That Kramer was all right. Yeah. He's a funny guy. You should have him on the show. I would have. Michael Richards. No Kramer.

No, the character. I would have one of those. You know that sweater they used twice. That was the sweater episode. Oh. Made the guy sneeze. The lady who ran the unemployment office, her daughter, who George dated, also wore that sweater on their date.

Really? God, that episode is so funny. A little fun fact for you, gang. Oh, great episode. I hear you're getting older. Don't say his name. We don't need to be sued. No.

All right. This is from $20 homie. Yeah. You know me. Never have one read. OG 20. Right. Doubling up on parties.

Wife's family had an Easter plan, turned into an Easter slash gender reveal party. Second marriage catered by the Olive Garden. And then on the way out, they asked for 20 bucks ahead. Shut the fuck up. No. I wrote that thing. Dude, that is insane. I see dirt bags.

$20 or $20. On the way out. That is. That's bamboozle. Yeah. I would have never fucking. I would never. That's insane.

An Easter affair catered by the Olive Garden. Then they do a gender reveal, which I'm out right there. I'm leaving. Yeah. They grow second marriage. So much. I don't like a gender reveal party. Listen, I don't mind the fucking olive.

I'm not shitting on the Olive Garden. The Olive Garden rules. Fine. That part I like. I mean, but like Olive Garden. I don't like it. I don't like it. I don't like it.

I don't like it. I don't like it. I don't like it. I don't like Olive Garden catered. Like I wouldn't want to pay for. Are they all going to Easter Sunday? I probably got it today ahead of time. Oh, actually probably.

That's fucking great. I love that. That's like a friendship ender. Like you're charging me 20 on the way out. Yeah. On the way out. If you want to say like, Hey, we paid it. I would rather have been like, Hey, come to me before and I'll pay for the whole thing.

Yeah. I'm disrespectful to ask me for $20. That is crazy. I wonder how they did it. Hey, by the way. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I think they are.

And they're never ready. Everyone has a buzzer. Everyone's got a buzzer. Table. That is fucking crazy. That is some trash. Yeah. Anything like that.

It really turned me off. Yeah. And it's just say upfront, like if you put that in the invite, like, Hey, if people want to chip 20 for whatever. Of course. Yeah. Don't go away. Family party and they charge you.

That's insane. It's like, that's why you bring stuff. Yeah. Hey, that's fine. Hey, everybody makes something. You make the meatballs. You make the fucking chicken. If you're hosting, you're probably, you're losing some fucking money.

All right. That's part of the deal. Yeah. Yeah. That's part of the deal. That's crazy. Yeah. Plenty of money to buy the fucking baseball with the blue dye in it.

Right. Or the pinata, whatever the fuck. All right. Olive Garden's catering your event. Eight to 14 people. What's it going to run you? Per person or total? Total.

Eight to 14 people. Olive Garden catering. 200 bucks. Yeah. I think it's, I'm going to go 300. I'm going to go, can I prices write them? Sure. 301.

KB is the closest. It is 189 dollars. I was almost dead. For 14 people? Wow. That's a fucking speed. That's a fucking speed. That's a good ass deal.

That's crazy. He's on the phone with Olive Garden. I'm losing money not to have my days catered by. I'm paying $14.99 for an entree like an asshole. You just get it tonight. You just have leftovers for the next three weeks. Charge it 20 a head. So he's not only fucking.

He's making money. He's making money off his family. Bullshit. God. What a piece of shit. Man. Crazy. Dirt bags.

We got to wrap it. All right. Gang. We love you. Tom. We love you. Thank you. What do you got coming up?

You want the gang out there? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Listen to his pot. Stand by your band. Yes. Yes.

And if you yeah. Follow me on everything. It's Tom to card. It's spelled like Thacker with two K's. If in case you're not reading it. Formally Tom Brady. Yes. But I will be in Little Rock, Arkansas next weekend.

For a gender reveal. Yes. For an Olive Garden gender reveal party. I'll be at Indianapolis Helium in May. I'll be in Boulder, Colorado. All my days will be on my website. Tom to car.com. And then yeah.

Get on that. Get on that Patreon for our part. Yeah. Do it. Absolutely. Support Tom. He's fucking awesome. He's a killer.

Love you boys. Thanks so much for having me. We love you buddy. Gang. Make sure you check out our Patreon. Obviously we're going to be traveling all around the country here this summer. It's going to be a good time. I believe Chicago's coming up.

Chicago's coming up. First show sold out. Second tickets for Old Town Second Show available now. And there's still some tickets left at Rosemont. Get them before they're gone. Denver. Ute Salt Lake City. Phoenix.

It's good stuff. Yeah. And we're looping back around to Detroit. Pittsburgh Buffalo Detroit. We're coming baby. We love you. We love you. Sorry we missed you.

Yes. Gang we'll see you next week. Peace.