Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Trashy Baseball Teams! w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Episode Date: May 11, 2026

Are You Garbage is back with Kevin Ryan and H. Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. It's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come t...o a live show! NEW AYG MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ AYG 2026 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored By: Brunt Workwear: Get $10 Off at BRUNT with code GARBAGE at https://www.bruntworkwear.com/GARBAGE Factor: Head to https://Factormeals.com/garbage50off and use code garbage50off to get 50 percent off and free daily greens per box, with new subscription only, while supplies last until 09/27/2026. (See website for more details). Cash App: Download Cash App Today: https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/li0uni5h Promo Code: CASHAPP10. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. See terms and conditions at https://cash.app/legal/us/en-us/card-agreement. Cash App Green, overdraft coverage, borrow, cash back offers and promotions provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit http://cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures. Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Holy moly New York City in the surrounding areas. Are You Garbage and Friends is back. We're going to be down there at the comedy seller May 18th and June 15th. You got two chances to see us, so come on out. Yeah, tickets available to are you garbage.com. We got some of our favorite guests coming to play AYG with the crowd. It's a small venue, so get your tickets before this out. We'll see you there.
Starting point is 00:00:21 Hey, everybody out there. And welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is RU Garbage. Hey, yeah. It's that little show we sit down. of your favorite comedians, and we find out if they grew to be classy. Yeah. If they're just a big old piece of track.
Starting point is 00:00:36 Trashash, trash. Yeah, that's right. I'm your host, Tate's really coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tootty's a new edition. Unfortunately, Aunt Tootty came down with shingles. Ah, geez, Louise. Not sure what it is. Okay.
Starting point is 00:00:51 But don't go nearer. I thought it was shingles. That's all I know. Okay. I don't know what Shingles is, do you? Yeah, it's like a family of the chicken pot. Is it? I think so.
Starting point is 00:01:01 God damn it, I was rubbing her back. I think if you had the, I think the one's a precursor. Like it's the chicken pox virus, in you? Broad, I used to date that. I'm joking. Is that true? I know, a girl I knew and I had it in high school or something like that. She's got it.
Starting point is 00:01:15 Yeah. Who? Tutty. Okay. Yeah, old broads get it. Yeah, she's got it. I think my stepdad. Someone had it.
Starting point is 00:01:22 My co-s is coming at you from across the table. WebMD. This is what we call the family episode. Just the boys. bozos and the homies just the way we like it i'll tell you that right now give it up for kevin james ryan everybody hey what's up gang shout out to you uh as always make sure you make sure you save you subscribe on it's full video available on youtube full video available over there and spotify and the boys are climbing the mother friggin charts
Starting point is 00:01:44 we're in the show we're in we are the charts we are yeah okay we are the charts i am queen's boulevard we reach the end in the beginning we are in the middle we are the algorithm yeah take that bezos yeah bezos You and Zuckerberg Fucking dork Yeah, you tell him That guy sucks Not a 50s
Starting point is 00:02:06 Zuckerberg Not a 50 year Guy with his hat on backwards Man Upside down I've been thinking about that A pair of stolen boots Don't ever wear a dead man's boots
Starting point is 00:02:16 My boots aren't stolen Okay These boots are made for farting I got them at DSW DXL No No Yeah okay
Starting point is 00:02:28 Yeah I got him at DX DSW. Mm-hmm. And they've really worn in well. Dork shoe warehouse. Free wedgies on the way out. Hey! Hey!
Starting point is 00:02:42 Shove you in a locker, say 5%. Catch you to wedge you on the way down the escalator. Anyway, I've been thinking about that. I really got to keep my mouth shut for a little while. Hey, I got 50 bucks as you don't. I really can't talk shit about anybody. Uh-huh. I mean, I've been thinking about it.
Starting point is 00:03:04 There's not really anybody I can run my mouth about and not be like, who the fuck are you? But you know why we love you? Why? Because you're going to do it anyway. But I'm not. I'm not. I'm telling you right now. You were just trashing all of us out there. You fucking did.
Starting point is 00:03:20 I'm not because the fun's not in it when you realize when you're like, oh, fuck. Uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah. So. Anyway, how you doing? How are you feeling? I'm feeling pretty good.
Starting point is 00:03:35 One thing I do want to announce, obviously, is... Oh, let's talk about this. A little bit of special... No idea what it is. Oh, my God, yeah, Kippy, tell him. She just came across my death. This ain't about me. Special announcement for the New York City area.
Starting point is 00:03:49 Let's go. We are doing some AYG and friends over there at the Comedy Cellar Village Underground. Ooh, in the big room. Yeah, we're doing one. If you've seen them before, they're on our website. We've done it with the Gramercy Theater.
Starting point is 00:04:01 stuff like that. We bring a few of our favorite guests to play Are You Garbage with the crowd? Yes. With us. Yes, with us on stage. It's a good friggin time. First one is Monday, May 18th.
Starting point is 00:04:13 There's very few tickets left for that. It might even be sold out by the time this comes out. Yeah. And then the next one is... But get them. But get them. Obviously. What do you think I'm doing?
Starting point is 00:04:24 We need this. And then the next one will be the following month, June 15th. Get them. It's like a 200 person. room. It's very small, very intimate. They will go fast. We've only been doing a little bit of post, a little bit of sending some email, so get the tickets. Now we're now we're
Starting point is 00:04:39 announcing to the goddamn universe. They're going to go. Love that comedy seller. Love the comedy seller. Love that underground. We got some tricks up our sleeve. Some friends are going to be popping in. A little calling you trash. You guys get to ask your questions. It'll be a good time. So do that. Fun. We're back
Starting point is 00:04:55 baby. We are. Kind of. Depends who you. We're trying Any attorneys We're not back Uh-huh I got a question for you
Starting point is 00:05:08 What? What? What? It's just, what do you mean? You're the colors What are you talking about? Talk to each other Yes
Starting point is 00:05:15 What? How do you, I don't want to think we've ever You know, you're a bit of a hater Yeah, I would say that You were going to push back Yeah, I'm not pushing back no more
Starting point is 00:05:27 Right, you're a bit of a hater Yeah Right, dully noted For fun and also actual Some vitrial hate which we all have. Yeah, a lot of, and, and, and, you know, a lot of times it is misguided and I'll turn, I'll turn hard.
Starting point is 00:05:41 Uh-huh. You know what? I like that guy. Yeah. I just had that with somebody. I can't remember who it was. Oh, with people for sure. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:48 There's been people that you've hated like, ah, fuck that guy. And then we've had them on. You're like, that's a nicest guy. That guy's awesome. Yeah. This was an actor that I didn't like. And I was like, you know what? That guy's great.
Starting point is 00:05:57 Let me guess he was successful. Yeah, but I can't remember what he was in. Just because of it. People have. actors they don't like or whatever, you know what I mean? I don't mean, you know, like, you don't get with this guy. But, yeah. I had that with Pattinson for a long time, Robert Pattinson.
Starting point is 00:06:12 Uh-huh. Well, he was introduced in a very, like, quefy kind of man. And I was older. I don't know, but apparently he's a fantastic actor. Oh, my God. Yeah. Tennant, he's great, even though that movie, like, come on. What are you doing?
Starting point is 00:06:25 I enjoyed it, but I got it. I need two Accedron after that. Nolan, pull it back a little bit. devil all the devil all the time on Netflix he was he had this did this crazy southern accent which was unbelievable also Tom Holland in that fantastic love that spider man and um yeah Batman you know sure the bat the Batman so I do that a lot
Starting point is 00:06:47 but what's your point this is more of a Jesus Christ the fuck here's something else oh what's your point like we're not fucking pot we're not six minutes into a I guess. And what's your fucking problem? That we do together. And what about it? Yeah, I got some issues.
Starting point is 00:07:10 I'm walking. I'm eating the TV dinner. How do you, with one sock on, how do you feel about the Savannah bananas? Whoa. You're asking me a political question on air like that. They just put 50,000 in Yankee Stadium. I mean. It's the trash.
Starting point is 00:07:31 version of baseball. I don't know what that is. Would you go? It's Globetrotter-esque, which was one of the first trashy questions they've ever been to Harlem Globetrotters game. They put 50,000 people in Yankee Stadium. They move tickets. Who do they play? The Washington generals are what you mean?
Starting point is 00:07:50 Like a mate. Oh, they play the college. They played the party animals in Yankee Stadium. I wasn't there. I got a jig and a beer in the album. You're out there grilling. I'm up. Someone bad for me. I got these Johnsonville brats going.
Starting point is 00:08:09 They get too hot to burst. They're screwed. I'm going to ruin his outfit. You ever catch a brat pop in your mouth, nut in your mouth? It's the only way you can come. Get out of here with that. Yeah, man. They're good baseball players, right?
Starting point is 00:08:31 I think, yeah. I mean, I don't know. That guy running around in that yellow suit a little too much for me. It's definitely. We're all wearing yellow. No, the owner. Which, as a businessman, respect to you. He's been told no to his American dream story.
Starting point is 00:08:47 I don't think is the hosts of argue garbage that we can hate on the Savannah bananas. I think I have to be a supporter of them. I'm not hating on them. But I'm not going to. I'm not. I mean, more power till. It's just, yeah, I don't know. I just, we've never really talked about it.
Starting point is 00:09:03 Oddly enough, and it's such a spectacle. I don't know really what it is. It's a lot of too much dancing. Call me old school. I'm his son of a pipe fitter at the end of the day. That's too much dancing. But I think those guys are like legit baseball players. There are a lot of college.
Starting point is 00:09:22 I mean, no, they're like really good baseball players. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 50,000 in Yankee Stadium. I couldn't do that. I couldn't put 50,000 up in the Bronx. What? Hey, no way. If that was the case of seller, it would be sold out.
Starting point is 00:09:39 Have you? You'd be hooked it. Do they do like the YMCA and stuff, I imagine? It's a lot of like TikTok stuff. They'll be in the crowd and they'll get, but it's, I got to give it to them. They'll be like in like the fourth row and get up and start doing the cha-cha slide or whatever. Walk right down and grab the bat and like as it's being pit.
Starting point is 00:09:57 I don't know. The thing, I'll make contact. Get on a piece. Also, I don't know if the party animals are the, The stiffest competition. I'm not talking about five-star athletes. What other teams do they play? They own like all the team.
Starting point is 00:10:11 They own the league. They own the league. Yeah, they own the league. So you got to, so you may, like a young player might start on the party animals and have to work his way up to the bananas. I think so. Or you could start on the firefighters, the Texas tailgators, the Loco Beach coconuts, and the Indianapolis clowns. What are the chances these are all the same guys? The party animals are the same as the Texas roadsters.
Starting point is 00:10:32 or whatever. I don't know, but I bet you those guys that don't pretty well and probably closing some ass. I mean, I think it's a very, sure. Yeah. Family-oriented organization? Yeah, I mean, never mind.
Starting point is 00:10:46 They're all good-looking guys, I assume. Of course they are. I mean, they're all fucking, you know, they're all D-1 athletes or fucking, you know, they were in the minors and stuff like that. There you go. Yeah. Shout out to them.
Starting point is 00:10:56 It seems, yeah. How about we get a couple of tickets? Where they playing next closest? Check it out. We just missed them. They're playing on Friday at CarMax Park, Richmond, Virginia. And then in Vegas, the same. Oh, no, they have two different teams.
Starting point is 00:11:17 They have two games going on. There's two bananas? Yeah, two games going on. No shit. The clowns are playing the firefighters and the bananas are playing the party animals, maybe. Did they just beat them? There's a subway series. What happens when the clowns and the firefighters play?
Starting point is 00:11:31 Isn't that like the two dummy teams playing against each other? Or is the Savannah banana is just the... The WWE of it. What? I don't know. That's the banana. They call it banana ball. So the banana ball is the league.
Starting point is 00:11:46 Banana ball is the league. Yeah. Savannah. But there's no way the clowns versus the fucking the roadsters is... That's like the general is playing the generals. Yeah, is doing 50,000. I mean, they got to be playing like a smaller... Where are they playing out in Vegas?
Starting point is 00:12:00 How big does this thing do? The Las Vegas ballpark. What's that? Let's see. Who played in Los Vegas on a baseball team? It might have a... I don't know. Thanks.
Starting point is 00:12:11 Hey, Jim Nance. Zippin. What's a broadcast? That's a deep cut? I mean, you can fit 10K in the Las Vegas ballpark. I never seen you saw that. I've never seen you sell that either. No.
Starting point is 00:12:31 So yeah, we should go. I'd be down. Check it out. Get back involved. Get involved in America. See what's going on out there. Been a long time. Flash, we have been.
Starting point is 00:12:42 You on the other end. I've been in a bit of sabbatical. Like the winter soldier. Yeah. Root 66's been a long time. Is that the thing you're saying? The last thing you did was Root 66. That was fucking like three and a half years ago.
Starting point is 00:12:59 Touched the heart of America. Get back out there. Be comfortable. Pressing. Back on the campaign trail. Uh-huh. No, we're still alive. You're hearing this.
Starting point is 00:13:08 You are the revolution. If you're hearing this, where we must be, we all must be dead. I don't know, but I do want to do that in my will. I want to sit all my loved ones around and I'll be in a TV screen
Starting point is 00:13:21 and they're going to play something. How fun is that? That's a good time. Hey, you! I'm screaming. Foley, knock it off. You're eating or something. Going through my personal belonging.
Starting point is 00:13:31 I'll bring everybody into my office. It's going to have rich mahogany and oak wood. I like that. Very Brewster's millions. Yeah, something like that. Did you see that movie? No. It's good.
Starting point is 00:13:41 John Candy, Richard Pryor. I get it. Yeah. I mean, it was like a... That became like a punchline a little bit. Brewster's millions or whatever. I was more of a blank check man. Everybody knows that.
Starting point is 00:13:52 I never really understood it. He had to spend like $63 million to win $630 million, but he couldn't have own anything after. spending the $63 million, but he couldn't give it away. He had to blow it. Okay. Which I just, I, I, one, and I don't see how that's hard. Two, I didn't quite understand it.
Starting point is 00:14:17 Well, you're. You couldn't give it away, but you could blow it. Sure. I don't know. Right. But I mean, I'm hearing the plot from you who voluntarily said you didn't understand it. So I don't think I'm going to be able to really decipher. what's going on. I think that's a fair assessment.
Starting point is 00:14:35 Yeah. Okay. Banana players, it's a banana ball player draft to keep the lead competitive. What? So all the teams, yeah, you have like your draft picks. Whoa. So they're playing real baseball. I mean, for what they I was looking into the, how to get onto the teams and what they look for is
Starting point is 00:14:55 beyond elite athleticism, they say. I'm out. Players must show they'd be creative, dance, lip-sink, and perform trick plays. So. I'm up there doing crowd work What do you do I get hit with a bitch Yeah Okay
Starting point is 00:15:12 Yeah All right Fair enough Well shout out to the bananas Shout out to them I hear it's a From what I've heard I've heard
Starting point is 00:15:19 It's a fantastic night Of family fun Family fun There you go Family fun We like family fun What is this thing You're
Starting point is 00:15:27 I'm getting a real fucking political mode We like family fun Around here That's who I am And that's what I care about At Raytheon. And Bitcoin.
Starting point is 00:15:39 Let's go. All right. Let's see here. What do you got? This one's from Ted Ziki. That's a good one. That's awesome. That's really good.
Starting point is 00:15:50 Ted Ziki. Isn't it Taziki? I think you pronounced it Ted Ziki. I pronounced it Tetsiki. Okay. You weren't going to like that. What? I was going to say it very correctly.
Starting point is 00:16:04 I think in that instance. you say it very correctly. Tziki. Yeah, I think in, you know, your mush mouth, toothless delivery, usually, it's Tzziqi. Which I don't know if I mentioned this. Somebody said when I say pre-Madonna, I'm saying pre-P-R-E, Madonna instead of prima-dana.
Starting point is 00:16:21 I say pre-Madonna too. Like this is before Madonna came out. Yes. Yeah. I always thought my first, I thought it was about Madonna. Which, what the hell were we doing? Pre-Modonna. Yeah, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:16:32 I wasn't around. Man. I came online after that. Man. I'm post madonna sometimes I'll just go back and I'll just listen to a bunch of her hits material girl make you feel like a nice little lady dude she's great yeah material girl's hot yeah I was too young for the I get it for the major hits I remember everybody listening it was on like the hits but I like the movement of it I was I was out on
Starting point is 00:17:00 Her and Michael were like very similar to monsters. Yeah, I caught the kind of the tail end of those kind of people where I was like, this shit stinks. Yeah. Where it was like very. You're like deaf tones. Poppy. Nah, they scared me.
Starting point is 00:17:19 Flip love the deaf tones. That dark music, I was a little too Irish Catholic boy for. What about corn? Corp. Boom, bach, boom. A little bit. I never owned an album, but I liked,
Starting point is 00:17:33 as a limp biscuit is as crazy as I would be allowed to go. I might, my, I did get loose with me. You got to go home for a nice dinner. I did get a slip-knot CD one year. Only listened during the day when people were home.
Starting point is 00:17:48 That was not, that was a freaky music. Might as be watching faces of death. Get that, like out of here with that. I also didn't spend too much time in Hot Topic. I was in and out. You ever get scared on Instagram?
Starting point is 00:18:03 I do. From what? I just like if I catch a bad algo and it starts like getting scary on the night or whatever and it's like scary shit. I caught one the other night. I'm in the apartment solo. And I ain't used to this joint to begin with.
Starting point is 00:18:20 Okay. But I get a good vibe in there. I don't feel like there's anybody else in there with me. That's small enough. I think it'd be impossible. But I caught this video about this musician in Nashville who was never any good, this is in the 50s. He was never any good.
Starting point is 00:18:43 And all of a sudden, he had like a couple of songs that got played on the radio, and people would all stop and watch it. And then some audio engineer went back and listened to it and said that there was another voice in it. And it was some type of like mind control. thing and it turns out this guy had like gone to an old bookstore and found like this old book of like Satan's spells and like how to put spells on people this is the worst story i've ever heard of my life this is crazy dude what they're fucking scary bored me to death that thing stinks it scared me
Starting point is 00:19:19 no that's wild yeah scared anything when they do like that shit i hate what you're doing with your hands too you're a book of spells Anything where they say like if you listen to it backwards, you can hear the devil. Fuck that. Yeah. I don't like that. Devil worshippers were huge at one point. Huge.
Starting point is 00:19:38 Yeah. You couldn't go into the woods. Oh, man. That's not far than a pentagram. The fuck? Hey, Manson, relax, will you? Listen to all you blue collar guys out there. I'm talking about Brunt, God damn it.
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Starting point is 00:20:06 They've been designed by guys in your field. You can trust Brunt. Get on Brunt. Get out there. Kick some ass with Brunt. Yes. These are boots. You actually wear to work. You beat them up. You can put in real hours. And if they're not right for you, you can send them back. Send them back. That's how confident Brun is. They're putting their money with their mouth. Listen, you're on a job site. It's wet. It's cold. It's hot. It's dry. Whatever it is, go. put it to the test.
Starting point is 00:20:31 Brunt's got your back. They go, we know we got the real deal. We know you do. You're going to love Brunt. That's how, I love the confidence. Fantastic. And Brunt stands behind what they make. You can wear them to work.
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Starting point is 00:21:16 Love you. Kim, you know Factor. Buddy, been no Factor for a while now. We've been talking about Factor forever. And it's even more important now. The days are getting longer. You got to get up early. You got to go to one.
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Starting point is 00:22:59 Whatever this one. That was a big digression, digression from Ted Ziki. Are you gone? Family favorite. Family fun. Awesome. Ted Ziki. Shout out to you, Ted Ziki.
Starting point is 00:23:13 Mr. Ziki. Probably a Savannah banana. Are you garb if you scheduled a payment for your phone bill knowing it wasn't going to clear just because you know they won't turn your service back on for another week? That was just schedule. I remember my mom even told me, just schedule the payment. Get the payment scheduled.
Starting point is 00:23:34 You'd sign in. You didn't have to make it for that day, but make it, I think you can make it 14 days in advance. Just go, I'll figure that out later, but let me stay connected. Yeah. That was a great move.
Starting point is 00:23:46 For sure. They do leave a lot of windows open to keep the plates spinning, which is nice. It behooves them. I mean, they shut you off. then you're not going to go back to them. You're going to go to another provider.
Starting point is 00:24:00 So they lost you. They'd rather keep you in going, we'll keep the slow drip. You know, we got this guy right where we want them. Also, you can't get shut off at fucking Verizon and then 18th.
Starting point is 00:24:10 He's going to go, hey. Well, I'm surprised. Word on the street is your money's no good out of here. One time I had a really high credit card and they shut, they canceled my card. One time. They canceled my.
Starting point is 00:24:22 Yeah, your money's no good, dude. They're bad money on the street. And I want to be like, hey, what are you doing? Like, well, you can reapply. And I'll reapply, I'm just going to fuck you now. What's in it for me to pay it? You know? Your credit.
Starting point is 00:24:40 That's dead anyway. Sure, I'm just saying that's what it. I mean, it's also, they're going to write that debt off as non-recupable funds or whatever. You know, bad debt. They'd get it off their books. Yeah. And they're done with you. I'm 50.
Starting point is 00:24:53 That's the one thing. I'm 50. I got no kids. That's one thing. you can't scare me with anymore, my credit. Mm-hmm. What is it now, do you think? Who the fuck knows?
Starting point is 00:25:05 It was pretty good. When this show started out, it was good. It could be in the fives, I don't know. That's crazy. Could be in the sixes. I don't know. How do you kill a man with no fear? When we started, I was 6.50.
Starting point is 00:25:16 I just got word. I'm 8.10. 8.10? What I've been doing, I'm off my credit cards almost exclusively off the credit cards. Right? Few things on the credit cards. But as much as I was spending off the credit cards. credit cards. I'm a cash operation.
Starting point is 00:25:31 You got cash? Word. You're a cash guy. Two bills. Cash right there. I don't even know more than that a week. There you go. It's fake. Counterfeit. Chinese yen. I'm in and out of the city before they even know what's going on. Got it a whoa hop, lower east side. With an egg roll. It's the marker test and all. They're good. Shout out to Mr. Woehop. I'm off that. and I've increased my credit limits
Starting point is 00:26:01 while my spending goes down. Ah, very smart. Because it's based on open credit. Based on available credit. Yeah. Nice. So that's what I did. I dig it.
Starting point is 00:26:13 Cash. You on the other hand. And we're back. Can't threaten me with nothing no more. Me? No, not you. Feels like you're talking directly to me. If I'm being honest.
Starting point is 00:26:33 You just hear a gun. Okay, next question from Mr. Ziki. For Mr. I need a new set of drawers. That's an old pistol. You know damn well you can't afford bullets. Luke? Shut up. Oh, all right.
Starting point is 00:26:58 This one's from Uncle BBQ. A $10 investor, never have one read. Are you garbage if you have a couch in your kitchen? Bozo friend of mine has one. and let's just say it's not what you would call an open floor plan. Yeah, that's a tough. I don't know if I've ever, even in like a college house or so, that wasn't at least, you know, the rooms were connected.
Starting point is 00:27:24 A couch and that, that's got to be fun, though, a little bit. Sit down. I've always been, you know this about me. I'm not going to like whatever this fact is. Yes, you are. I've always been a comfort guy. I've always looked at social norms like that and said, why? You know?
Starting point is 00:27:44 And a couch in the kitchen, very cozy. It's trashy. I mean, we're not here to discuss if it's cozier. No, very. It's trashy. I'm with you 100%. Couches don't belong in the garage. Love a couch in a garage.
Starting point is 00:27:58 Don't you, though? Love. For some of my finest memories are on a couch in a garage. Always the threat of spiders. if you're taking a nap in the ground. Oh, these weren't napping. These were drug couches. They weren't really naping couches.
Starting point is 00:28:12 But I remember the Hogan family on that Jason Bain. Hulk? No, that Jason Bainment was on back in the day. It was an open floor plan and nice. And I believe in their kitchen along the window, there was like a banquet. Bankettes are different. That's meant to be around there.
Starting point is 00:28:30 Sure. Yeah. Take a nap in there where you're supposed to be doing your homework. Sure. But, yeah, this place I pick. picture. I can see this kitchen. I know the couch. Yes, I know the couch. It's a little too big for the room, I feel. And the bottoms of it are probably not the legs are gone. Yeah. It's sitting on, it's flat. Yeah. It's tough. Yeah, in, see, we, in the burbs, we, we do have, it's a little more of an open floor plan, but we do have like a, the Shays Lounge, however,
Starting point is 00:29:05 Whatever you want to call. It's like, you know. She's lounge? Is that what it's called? No, that's like a straight thing. A chaise. Shazet. It's a girl.
Starting point is 00:29:15 What's his cool with? A Shays lounge. You mean Shade. I was making a joke. You're talking about Shade the singer? No. You are. What's their song?
Starting point is 00:29:27 I don't know. Anywho. I'm saying my wife did this and that even felt a little. She had a Shays Lounge in the kitchen? You've been to the house. It's not in the kitchen, but it's not not in the kitchen. I can see the kitchen. I give you that.
Starting point is 00:29:46 You know what I mean? It's a little, I don't think you should be cloth in where there's cooking and that's to be wiped down, sprayed, clean, disinfected. Not every day, but you know what I mean? There's a mess. Other than a ban cat. Other than a bank cat. A breakfast nook, if you will.
Starting point is 00:30:03 But that's all build in, I feel. My buddy in high school, his parents had a, like a diner booth in their kitchen. That's cool. Oh, it was. And it was, it was the, like, the corner one. It was awesome. Yeah. That's really cool.
Starting point is 00:30:19 It was awesome. When I moved here, I had to keep all my stuff in a kitchen and it was on a banquet. I know exactly that kitchen banquet you're talking about. Yeah. That was not cool. That was next to a washer and dryer, which was next to an oven. Which was also. next to a refrigerator,
Starting point is 00:30:36 which is also next to all of my worldly belongings. Which I then inherited a good amount of this. When Kevin lost weight. My first pair of salvaged denim. Uh-huh. Only pair. Sure. These things were as stiff as a board.
Starting point is 00:30:52 They were great. They did very well in those jeans. Didn't poop himself once. Were they buttonfly? Maybe. They were Gap. Freak. What?
Starting point is 00:31:05 Buttonfly. I mean, I don't remember what they were. That's swinger shit. First of all, you're wearing my pants, guy. Buttonfly jeans. You were wearing them. I know. You had them.
Starting point is 00:31:16 I know, but you can't. I want to go out and buy buttonfly jeans? What am I from the 70s? Going down to the regal beagle? Like a freak. What are you doing in those things? What were you doing in those things? Yanking butt balls out of your...
Starting point is 00:31:30 What are they called? Dingleberries? No. Berry dingers? No. What's the balls you pull out of the butt? Butt plugs? No, not buying the back like you don't know.
Starting point is 00:31:40 Probably got one in right now. A&B. A&B. You're kidding. I couldn't think of it. Butt plugs all day. Sure. I like a snack.
Starting point is 00:31:54 You take him on the road with me. Easy to travel with. All right. Let's see here. This one's from Ben, $10 homie here. You ever have to back your car up on the highway. That's a bad look.
Starting point is 00:32:12 You see it. I would never do it. I would just go to the next exit. What? I'm sure you have. You probably did it last week. I get very scared if I miss the exit I'm supposed to get off that. I don't know what's up ahead.
Starting point is 00:32:29 So let's put everybody at day. I don't know how far down I got to go. I don't know how weird and dark and scared. and bad this is going to get. I mean, it's not like last house on the left on a highway. If I'm there and it kind of works, I'm back, I'm scooching back a little bit and it tearing off. That's wild.
Starting point is 00:32:49 You're dangerous. You're dangerous. Oh, I'm dangerous. My blood flows at him. I told you I was on a mega bus one time and the guy did it. It was crazy. I don't know losing your license. Dude on the New Jersey Turnpike.
Starting point is 00:33:05 It might have been a China. Everybody hang on. It was, dude. Everybody shut up. Well, dude, the traffic was horrible on the fucking Jersey term by coming up for Philly. It was a Greyhound, if I remember correctly. Man, that Greyhound bus on Filbert Street or whatever in Philly is crazy. Under the overpass or whatever that is.
Starting point is 00:33:26 It's, right? I don't think so. Yeah. But 10th in Philbert. There's an overpass there. Oh, like the convention center. That's what the Chinatown buses. Yeah, no, no.
Starting point is 00:33:35 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, the great. That Greyhound bus station in Philly. Man, fuck. There's about 4,000 people there and one guy working, and he ain't having it. He's fielding quite all fucking off-the-wall questions. People trying to, you know, wrong tickets, this, that, the other. People just living in there.
Starting point is 00:33:57 Brutal. But traffic was horrible, and I guess he was just like, oh, we're going to sit in traffic for like three hours or whatever. He went, nah, fucking hops over on the fucking hops over on the shoulder. I mean a good quarter mile just all the way back. Fucking whipping work this guy was, dude. Some ladies next week, I don't think this is illegal. I'm like, honey, zip it. I ain't everybody got shit to do today.
Starting point is 00:34:25 Fuck you. That's trashy, trashy move, dangerous. You know what I also don't like the fucking, and I've done everybody, you know, if you realize your exit's coming up and you do like, And you're like, just fucking go one more. Like, why you- Stop it. You don't do the same thing?
Starting point is 00:34:40 I'm not saying that you haven't, but I'm also- Go- It's a point of pride, get over. Safely. Yeah, not all the time, it's safely. That's what I'm saying. Or the guy, like, posted up at the, he's in there. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:34:53 He just gets to that part where all the shattered glass and tires are. You're jammed up if you're sitting in no-man's land there. Oh, man. There's a bunch of broken glass around you. That's a fucking kill spot right there. Yeah, that's bad news. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:06 All right, let's see here. This one's from Josh. $10 investor, never have one read. Are you garbage if you use Chucky Cheese tokens to get shopping carts from the Audi? It's the same size as a quarter, so I get a free cart. Gentlemen. Huh. Good for you.
Starting point is 00:35:21 I respect it. Yeah, I don't mind rip enough Aldi, to be honest with you. I mean, but it's a cold. You're making away with a quarter. If you're stealing the cart, I'd still give them the quarter. What are you talking about a quarter? I think that's silly. What?
Starting point is 00:35:34 I'm sorry You're charging a quarter for your cart You're charging for carts What's that all about I don't know Luke look into that Is it to like return it There's got to be something It can't be like a money making thing
Starting point is 00:35:47 Because it I just think that's nickel and diamond I understand I would assume The American consumer German company Stealing our fucking Deutschmark Exactly
Starting point is 00:35:58 That's what I'm talking about I'm with it I don't care what you're charging for great I assume there's some sort of like psychological behind it to like return it to do you get the quarter back yes so you ask for the quarter as a deposit to incentivize customers to return their carts to
Starting point is 00:36:12 the corral I gotta say that I'm okay with that they're not charging they're taxing if you don't return it it's particularly an Aldi practice Google's saying that's what they do that's their family thing they're big into quarters
Starting point is 00:36:28 and carts ideally you need less employees collecting the cart from the parking lot because people then return I used to be a cartmaster myself. I got to say I'm against this. You're taking away hard work in American jobs, something that I know about and care about. And usually those kids, you know.
Starting point is 00:36:47 What? It's nice to employ, though. They're nice people and they should have a job. Talk about me. Kind of. Talking about people that usually do that kind of work. Me. And my friends all did it.
Starting point is 00:37:02 Yeah. You have something to say? No, I don't have anything to say. Huh? I just think, you know, there's a specific kind of people that, that, that, that, that, that, that get those jobs. A lot of people with special needs do those jobs. And I think it's important that they have those jobs available. They're not, they're not muscled out by a quarter.
Starting point is 00:37:25 My special need was a chicken porn for lunch every day. I understand that. I understand. This is kind of funny. Uh, I looked up how much Chuckie cheese. tokens are, and it was about $5.420 tokens, so a quarter, they're the same conversion rate. Wow. Yeah, because that's not free.
Starting point is 00:37:43 He gets it back, too. So what's the fucking difference? This guy's full of malarkey. Who is it? I don't know. I think I did. Josh. Josh.
Starting point is 00:37:52 Call me. I got a few ideas to blow this scheme wide open. I've been dying for a Chuckie cheese pizza. I don't know why. I don't. I mean, when was the last time you had one you feel? A hundred years ago. Forty years ago.
Starting point is 00:38:07 Yeah. I don't even know if I fully remember it. Not 40 years ago, I would say. You were 20? Probably. Okay. I can't remember why, but somewhere around there. Chuckie cheese party, I would presume.
Starting point is 00:38:17 That crazy? 30 years ago, I was 20, 40 years ago, I was 10? 40 years ago, I was 10 years old. And my whole life in front of me. Baby. Mm-hmm. Isn't that crazy? Not really.
Starting point is 00:38:28 It's 40 years ago. I mean, if you're like, I think you think 40 is a small number? just 40 years ago I was 10 years old I don't know if that's like a No relative
Starting point is 00:38:42 well I've lived longer I'm like towards the end of Interstellar he's young I've been over in what's it called the Tessoract or whatever No ton 19
Starting point is 00:38:52 or whatever the fuck it was that huge ass fucking black hole Yeah you have been Yeah I don't know I guess I don't just go like I'm 40 now So that was my whole life And you're going
Starting point is 00:39:03 Just 40 years ago So every second of my, every memory I have, you're going, oh, just that ago. Just like that. Even for me to say 30 years ago, I was 10, 30 years is a long time. 30 years ago, 40 years ago, not that long time. Yeah, exactly. I don't know when the last time I had Chuck E. I just missed the exit, pulled over, backed up, got off the ramp to Foleyville.
Starting point is 00:39:25 It's kind of coming back the Chuckie Cheese pizza for, like, nostalgia. Like, it's on Uber Eats. Like, you can get it. Really? Yeah, like I saw it, like, some Instagram videos about. like people order in the Chucky Cheese pizza. Is that right? There's no Chucky Cheese in New York, is there?
Starting point is 00:39:39 I don't know. There's a couple of long... Oh, I know a guy that can look that up. Me? Some of the long... No, him. Oh. What do you do around here?
Starting point is 00:39:47 You don't have a phone right now. Yeah. I got water in it. Club soda. All right. Sprite. Queens, there's probably one. Queens.
Starting point is 00:40:00 Hack and Sack, New Jersey or something. There's one in Long Island. Yeah. Multiple. Long Island, a lot of Long Island. Rockville Center probably. It's also one up in the South Bronx. South Bronx.
Starting point is 00:40:10 South, South Bronx. I ain't gone up there. No. I got shit to do. Crazy. You ever go to that Pelham Bay Mall up there? Pelham Bay. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:21 It's not great. I feel any mall with a parking garage is bad news. Shady. It's just you feel like you're going to get God. And that's a lot of those malls out there. You like, it's just. I grew up going to Suburban Mall. Shout out in the Chamonie Mall also,
Starting point is 00:40:40 Franklin Mills Mall. You park in the dry, you're parking up parking on your wall. It's like an outdoor thing. That's like you're pulling. You're like a little rat in a fucking cage. You know you get to see the sunlight the whole time. Yeah.
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Starting point is 00:42:05 borrow Cash App offers and promotions provided by Cash App. a blocking brand visit cash stop at slash cash dot app slash legal slash podcast for full app for full disclosures do it do it uh all right let's see here uh this one's from umbro undies that's funny we're just talking about that 10 dollar homie never have one read you ever walk a bicycle up a hill because you were too fat to ride up it fuck yeah well do that when i was a kid in every other car that went by i felt embarrassed i mean yeah that's dangerous you're talking about reversional on the highway. You see a bicycle.
Starting point is 00:42:41 You start going up a bike, a bike. Start going up a hill. Hill, bike. And you can't hoof it. You start rolling backwards. Woo-wee. We had a- Dangerous.
Starting point is 00:42:53 We were obviously, you know, we were a pretty big bike squad for a couple of years. Pre-cars, whatever, some are riding around, dirt jumps. And you'd find, there's one thing. I don't know if we ever thought, just like the dirt jumps that just existed like dirtbag generation of dirt. dirt bag generation. Sure. You would find them and be like, whoa.
Starting point is 00:43:12 These are overgrown. You have to top them off a little bit. Yeah, you take you. That was like our job. We go, oh, fuck, we found these. Go back to my boy's house, get a shovel, get a rake, get a whatever,
Starting point is 00:43:23 you know, and even just like spend a week cleaning them up, getting them ready, building them up. It would rain, whatever. That was fucking fantastic. But there were some hills that like, we would all just kind of get off
Starting point is 00:43:35 and be like, this one's two. It's like, you're also like, I'm not fucking killing myself. Half the day in front of me. You know what I mean? If you didn't trust your equipment that well. Like I've had some bikes where I've done that, try to be the big man.
Starting point is 00:43:50 I've started grinding up the hill and then the fucking handlebars go forward on me. It's a heavy load. It's a heavy payload. You pop a chain or something like that. Yeah. Brutal. Uh-huh.
Starting point is 00:44:03 Man, I remember the first time that handle, I didn't know handlebars would do that to you. And they just fucked me. and then you're I mean I got into I would suck too I remember one time
Starting point is 00:44:14 we rode our bikes mad far before you know self whatever we were probably like at least an hour plus away in another neighborhood
Starting point is 00:44:23 like we went to like another whatever we're like let's just fucking go summer day hot as shit I got a flat and like
Starting point is 00:44:33 four other guys were like well you know we'll walk with you or whatever, and then, like, after a while, they're like, later. And, like, I'm just left me fucking sweating my ass off in a pair of cargo shorts. You couldn't hit a gas station, pump it up? It was pop, like, whatever.
Starting point is 00:44:52 Nail in it, something, like, none. No, I'm not, I mean, it was this a suburbs. It's not like there's, like, fucking gas stations. There's, like a bike every two blocks. I would have fucking thrown that bike in the woods. In the river. No, I just would have thrown in the woods, covered it up and walked back and got my mom's car. What, hot wire did the thing when he'd talk?
Starting point is 00:45:08 I was like 12 years old. I'd go back and tell my mom. This is out work. This is when like there was, I wasn't talking to a parent for another seven hours. They're gone. They're a ghost. My dad,
Starting point is 00:45:18 he ain't picking up. I got shit to do. Yeah, I'd stash it and come back for it. Like the time machine. Sure, but there was a thing because Danny's bike got stolen by one of the bad kids in the neighborhood.
Starting point is 00:45:34 There was a thing. I think if I came home without that bike. That they know. They don't know. know where you are for eight hours she's checking bikes yeah tossing cell where's your bike no but is she a pagan yeah checking for your ride it's a patch over
Starting point is 00:45:48 she's coming home at three in the morning she's looking for your bike she's coming home at three in the morning the fuck she's doing she is a pagan I guess um no but I think it would have been like you don't Lee don't fucking throw a what I don't even know what a two hundred dollar bite or whatever the fuck it was two on bike I don't know what I had I don't know I don't know I don't the 90s inflation rate or whatever.
Starting point is 00:46:11 You don't throw a bike that they... That's just not what... That wasn't your... So you just humped it all the way back to the house? All the way back to my boy's house. Man, a beta iced tea, you slugged down. It was wild cherry Pepsi. My boy had...
Starting point is 00:46:27 My boy would get to 30 packs of wild cherry Pepsi. I bet you were parched what you got home. Meatball? Those legs were probably burning on the inside. Uh-huh. Aren't they fatty? Probably had to sit down on his couch. You probably need this.
Starting point is 00:46:43 Crack open a box of cheese. It's and fucking kids' snacks were fucking out of this world, dude. Ooh. I'm going to need about four episodes of Frasier. Fucking shake this off. With a becker kicker. Man, the day I had. His dad's sitting there.
Starting point is 00:47:05 I grabbed the remote from his dad. The hell are you watching. Turn the news hold. His paper just comes down a little bit. The day I had. Holy shit. His dad was the loudest family. His dad used to scream.
Starting point is 00:47:28 Big guy. Huge guy. Real new money family. His dad was the first guy ever saw had a three-day hangover. He laid on the couch. Also, it's wild. I was at his house for three days. Why?
Starting point is 00:47:46 Why? They had a big party. I guess he got all fucked up. He laid on the couch in his underwear. They had one of those big screen TVs. They were like two feet deep, like the big wooden joint. You know what I mean? It was like a garage door.
Starting point is 00:48:03 It was like his shed. Uh-huh. Yeah. Pull a fucking rider mower out of that thing. He laid there. Ice packs on his head. everything. I get it now, but I remember being like, God damn, what the fuck? I mean, my dad drinks a lot, but what the fuck is?
Starting point is 00:48:18 Did he sleep there? Yeah, he didn't move, dude. He didn't move. Was he shaking off heroin, detoxing? It's a jammed off. That's a party. Ooh. Man, dad's in the 90s.
Starting point is 00:48:37 This was, whatever. This is, yeah, this is probably 99. Yeah, late 90s, early 2000s. I think it turned when I was in seventh grade, maybe. Seventh-eighth grade was 99, 2000. Big year for dirt bags. The chronic 2001 had just dropped. Big year for dirt bags.
Starting point is 00:48:58 It was, dude. What a 99-2000. Girl, I want to dig your bag in. Juvenile was hot. Cash money records. Dre was back. Cottonmouth Kings hit. Hacky sack was in.
Starting point is 00:49:10 skateboarding MTV was cooking Man, limpisky Cot corn Boom baca boom Slip night You couldn't tell a shit Yeah, you got to
Starting point is 00:49:21 Woo Three day hangovers Mm-hmm Now I get it If I got that fucked up And I got I do have I have three days To just fucking shut it down
Starting point is 00:49:33 I'd be shutting it down I love three days to shut it down I don't have three days A shutdown down Three days of shut down It's something else man um all right let's see here this is from zach uh first time long time do you say coupons or coupons i'm coupons coupons say coupons q coupons cue do you have any coupons like the letter coupons yeah coupon
Starting point is 00:49:57 luke coupons that's what it is coupon so it's french get the epit of the epitomologist a coupon coupon yeah save you have a coupon Mom, do you have a coupon? I've never understood coupons. Even when I was a cashier at Acme, they read them to me. Originated from the French word coupon. Whoa.
Starting point is 00:50:20 A piece cut off. Ah. Enchante. Luke comes from the French word Luzer. Louis. Good. Good. Bonjour, Foley.
Starting point is 00:50:33 Parle you English, if you please? No. Parle you. French. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Ha-ha!
Starting point is 00:50:43 I'm going to France very soon. You are going to France very soon. Two days. In-out. So am I. Bank job. Hitting the Louvre, cleaning it out, moving on. I'm coming, too.
Starting point is 00:50:54 No, you're not. I'm going to be in Paris the same time you are. When am I going? A couple weeks. What are you going? The same time. Now, you go ahead. Oh, thanks.
Starting point is 00:51:05 I'll be holding it down here. Oh, God. Maybe I should cancel the trip. Could pay me to go to Europe now. Do you want to go somewhere, Hank? No. I'm in a routine, dog. I'm in a rebuild routine.
Starting point is 00:51:18 You're very stoic now. Very stoic. Very locked in, dialed in, focused. Bang, bang, bang. Bed 11 up dawn. Kicking ass bang. That's what I do. Bed 11 up noon.
Starting point is 00:51:34 Breakfast. Out of bed two. Back in bed three. Yeah, now. No vacation. Focus. Diled in. Three months.
Starting point is 00:51:44 Bang, bang, bang. Okay. Cool. You go out there of your frommage, your snails. Mm-hmm. You go out there and get softer. I'll be here getting harder. Why?
Starting point is 00:51:58 Pause. Damn, dude. You come back. I'll be rock hard. I'm waiting for you. Edging. When's Kimmy get back? He'd be texting me in the group and shit.
Starting point is 00:52:10 Kimby, what times you're flaking it? Bit of an edge. Why? What, ew? Okay, dude, you do whatever you want. Yeah. We were never a huge coupon family. My mom was.
Starting point is 00:52:30 She liked the coupon. I think if it was, like, big enough, if someone got it, it was like Denise would use it. She just never, maybe just never really had the time to be dipping, you know, or whatever. whatever. But the big promotional sale, she would hit heavy. We shopped it super fresh, which I think is probably now defunct. Shouldn't be. They were, they were like, to me, that was the whole food.
Starting point is 00:52:54 They were like the biggest. There was most of them. They're banging good. They're still banging. Yeah. We're at. Everywhere. They got one in Elmhurst.
Starting point is 00:53:02 Oh, up here. Yeah. I haven't seen one since the one closed by us. Super fresh. But she would do heavy on the, they were. where America's Choice was their brand. That's ShopRite, isn't it? Oh, wait, they got bought out by ShopRite.
Starting point is 00:53:18 It says they shuttered and they liquidated in 2015, but I guess maybe they're keeping like the brand. Maybe. Or Acme or ShopRite bought them. Liquidated. That's happening. They were in everything.
Starting point is 00:53:30 So America's Choice ShopRae might have started carrying America's Choice brand. I don't know. But that was super fresh growing up. And we would buy all that shit. The 10 for 10. The two, buy one, get one. The three for five. I remember coupons but specials you were big on specials do you remember what kind of crazy deals they would do on yogurts yeah they were 10 for 10 man I was I was I mean
Starting point is 00:53:53 I was a cashier during the fuck else do you get 10 for 10 Danins they would fucking dude they would stack them it'd be like they it looked like a factory they'd stack them this high on the belt deep deep as the belt could go right and those let me tell you you buy the six packs right Those Dan in six packs, they got edges to them. You try to put them in a plastic bag, that bag's shredding. You had a double, triple bag them thing. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:18 They're going through bags left and right. Uh-huh. Brutche. Fucking open up a letter with those things. Yeah. Man. Ten for ten yogurts. Yo play.
Starting point is 00:54:27 That was my bestone, dude. That shit was crazy. Yo play. La yogurt, all kinds of stuff. The French shit with the fucking just foil top. I used to fucking crush them. Love a fucking yogurt. Back in the day.
Starting point is 00:54:42 Now it's all the Greek shit, which I dig, but you miss the old school stuff. You know? Yeah, you're an old school guy. I'm an old school guy. That's what I think of when I think of you. Yeah. Old school. I'm not a fruit on the bottom kind of guy.
Starting point is 00:54:54 Like it all mixed in. Bananas and strawberry. You're a fruit in the bedroom kind of guy. Blueberry. Sure. I'm bringing a little exotic fruit, dragon fruit. Pineapple. You like tricks?
Starting point is 00:55:04 They're like tricks? Yeah. The yogurt? No, I missed all that stuff. Really? Yeah. That's, that's you, dude. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:55:10 It's cool. It's cool, man. See, I'm not hating on this. It wasn't for you. Tricks are for kids, obviously. Yeah. I, I, like tricks? Like tricks, tricks?
Starting point is 00:55:17 No. I mean, I... You like tricks, right? No. Actually, you have a cereal. The cereal? You're fucking stupid. That shit was whack.
Starting point is 00:55:27 It was whack when they started making it... When they make it shaped like fruits, it used to be just round balls. Then they were banging. They were delicious. Then they fucked it up. Like, they fuck up everything. Once Cobain died. Here we are.
Starting point is 00:55:42 What? Huh? It's all that shit about Vietnam. They're really going after Top Reyes and Savannah bananas. Tricks. Ooh, man. You have to write a few apology letters
Starting point is 00:55:55 after this one. His comments are his own and they're affiliated with Tootie LLC. All right, let's see this is from Jared. $10, homie. Is it garbage that your mom at the kitchen table divides up your grandfather's ashes out amongst
Starting point is 00:56:11 the siblings with the kitchen spoon and Ziploc bags. That's fucking crazy. There's got to be a more proper way to do that. I would assume. Medically, yeah. But what would it be then? I think you could probably have the place that doesn't do it.
Starting point is 00:56:29 Let's say that doesn't happen. You've got to kind of spoon it. I mean, I think you at least got to take that shit to the garage. I think you've got to throw on some gloves. I think you've got to get some decent receptacles where the, the thing is in there, where the plastic bag is in there. Because I have some of my dads, and it's in a plastic bag in a thing. I open it all the time.
Starting point is 00:56:57 And we're back. I keep something in there, and I open it to make sure it's in there. Would somebody steal it? Why wouldn't it be in there? Because I'm crazy, and I like to just like to check. Okay. Yeah. But yeah, he's just in a bag.
Starting point is 00:57:10 He's in a plastic bag. It's weird. I don't even know if that's him. Sure. What are you going to say? I'm going to pull out of this conversation. I'm going to put my producer hat off for a second and pull the yolk up on this. And Luke.
Starting point is 00:57:30 You can't do that shit at the kitchen. That's human waste or whatever it is. You can't be whacking that up there. It's not a fucking kilo. What you do with the stash house? The middle of the plug. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, that's wild.
Starting point is 00:57:45 Yeah, but, yeah, yes, wild. I don't know. I don't, not many people in my family were ever cremated. We're a body family. You are a body family. I respect it. We've always been a body family, too. I didn't know anybody that could start getting cremated until shit, 10, 15 years ago.
Starting point is 00:58:08 Yeah, I don't know. I think nobody was been cremated. Because you always had to go through that fucking thing. Oh, fuck, I'm going to be there. That's all I know The viewing Nobody ever looks right Now we were
Starting point is 00:58:21 Where are we talking about on air Should tan them Hey we were talking about it Why not tan them a little bit Hit him with a spray Well spray tallywood tans Yeah Probably would
Starting point is 00:58:32 The girls that come in He got him in a boot Dominican radio playing When I was in like third grade My dad told me he wanted to be Maybe like not. Like I was like seven or eight. He told me, my cousin and my brother, we're all driving into the city.
Starting point is 00:58:49 They wanted to be cremated and we all started crying. What? Not now. You fucking pussies. Nah. What do you? What are you talking about? Calling a seven-year-old kid of pussy.
Starting point is 00:59:07 Yeah, that had a freak. My cousin asked the question. And he was like, I shouldn't have asked it. I'm so sorry. They're all puking out the window. What? He asked, he asked, my cousin was, I think, you know,
Starting point is 00:59:23 someone had just died and my cousin was like. Uncle Lou, do you want to be cremated? Do you want to be cremated or what? And he's like, I want to be cremated. And then my brother started going. And then I went. And then my cousin was just, I ruined everything.
Starting point is 00:59:39 What's your dad say? Shut up! No, he just turns the radio. real loud. Corn's playing. Boom, paca, boom, ba boom, I'm just the freak going to leave.
Starting point is 00:59:52 As you're driving into the city, the camera gets further away. Turns off the bridge. Boom, paca, boom, a boon, bachabaka. You stink. I remember I asked my dad if he was in Oregon. I just had assumed.
Starting point is 01:00:10 I never told you this. because I'm an organ done during the night nobody wants them you can give them to the wolves and get them to the vultures to pick over whatever's left feed
Starting point is 01:00:31 me the fucking prairie dogs chop me up and feed me to the pool oh shit there's a big campaign you can't take a liver that big you're gonna make some rhino real appy What's up?
Starting point is 01:00:49 I'm Luke from the outdoor boys. Outdoor boys, gutting you. We're going to field dress of Foley. You're going to have the planes lying over. Shit. Got to make sure this one's not toxic. No, it was a big campaign in the 90s for organ donation. And I just assumed, you know what I mean?
Starting point is 01:01:12 I never really ever thought anything about it. I was like, Dad, are you an organ donor? He's like, nah. And I'm like, what? why and his response was something along the lines of i don't like that and i was just like pressure to my game you know you know when like someone doesn't really have it it's just like a feeling they don't really and he goes i don't know man i came into this with all my stuff i'm leaving with all my stuff i was like all right fair enough uh the only i worry about if i do that
Starting point is 01:01:46 and then get cream it maybe like a backdrafter me or something like that what i if i donate all my organs and then they you didn't him to science or to somebody science is a good idea let them study my brain hey he was fat now it got so flat no yeah not to help somebody but like yeah like a pure oxygen pocket in you yeah yeah burns down the crematorium yeah something i don't know catch a back draft keep saying that but you said you don't know what you mean because there'll be a cavity you mean there'll be a hole and so you know you'll think Pops open. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 01:02:25 I want to burn right. I'll cook well. I don't have pizza, pizza bubbles on me. Look, it. It's going to be ash. Eventually, but I want a nice slow cook. Low and slow. Do you want to be cremated or no?
Starting point is 01:02:40 Fuck, yeah. Okay. Yeah. You have that written down anywhere? No. Okay. Am I the executor of this? What do you mean?
Starting point is 01:02:50 I mean, I would be running point on all this. I think my brother would If it's not going to happen now Yeah Yeah I'm just telling what I'm telling you It's documented I'm sure you guys
Starting point is 01:03:02 Let's make our videos right now What's up motherfuckers I just thought you could kill me huh Jokes on you There's a bomb in the building I told you Fuckers I had the last laugh I got like red wire
Starting point is 01:03:20 And I'm wrapping up around my hand If you look under your seat, that's what we call C4. Let me see the baby. Bring the baby close to the camera. Santa Claus is dead. We got to wrap it up. Back draft. Gang, we love you to death.
Starting point is 01:03:45 We'll see you next week. Peace.

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