Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Trashy Birthday Cakes w/ Kippy & Foley

Episode Date: October 28, 2021

Kippy and Foley are back with a hot one!  It's a family episode so the they read garbage questions from the Patreon. They talk germans, birthday cakes, and a bunch more.  Live Shows: https://linktr.ee/AYGLiveShows PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage https://www.GetRoman.com/GARBAGE https://www.DADGRASS.COM/GARBAGE https://www.Allform.com/GARBAGE https://www.BoxOfAwesome.com Promo Code: GARBAGE Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/foleygrams/ Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

NYC. The Big Apple. New York City. Ever heard of it? Gang, the boys are gonna be here. Gotham Comedy Club November 9th on the Isle of Manhattan. We're coming back. We're storming the beaches. Get some tickets and come see us. It's the New York Comedy Festival, our first time in it. You don't want to miss it. The show's gonna sell out. Also, the boys are gonna be in Hartford, Connecticut on December 14th. And we're gonna go to Albany, New York on December 15th. And then where are we going after that big man? We're gonna be in Syracuse December 16th. Get those tickets. Yeah. Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts,

Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there. And welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast. This is Are You Garbage. It's a little show. We sit down with your favorite comedians and we find out they grow to be classy. They're just a big old piece of trash. You don't say. I'm your host H. Foley coming at you on a beautiful day. We're down here at Aunt Tooty's basement. She's mad at me. Why? Because I ate her apple donuts. Okay. This literally sounds like something to happen in your apartment. I'm not gonna lie. These apple cider donuts are hot this time of year. Tooty don't mess around. That sounds like Aunt Tooty's probably your girlfriend. Might have a tasty relationship a time or two. We're not related by blood. I don't see anything

wrong with it. Gang, my co-host is coming at you from across the table. It's a family episode. We're circling the wagons. Oh, yeah. We're locking the doors. We're rolling down the fucking curtains. It's just the fam. It's blackout season. Gonna be rather enough. Your guys' questions. We love yous. We appreciate yous. But before that, the international businessman himself, the mogu. What are you launching a space company? These guys are killing you. You're gonna be like 20 years behind. I know. I know. Hypersonic rockets flying around your head. These guys are bare. I'm gonna save up to like we can go to deep space. Anybody can have space. Get to the moon whatever. Once we're at the moon, I'm taking over. Get Tooty on the moon. Yeah. You gotta let them

storm the beaches. And then I come up the back. Make sure the coast is clear. It's all a long game with me. How many two leaders of Diet Coke and Mentos does it take? I don't know, but we're gonna figure it out. And with your help, we'll get that chicken. How long are your heads at, kid? This kid's a go-getter. What's up, gang? Oh, sorry. It's KJ, everybody. Yeah. That's been big in the YouTube comments and Instagram comments. And for the record, it's not KJ. It's KAYJ. Somebody early on goes, let's say president real early on. It's KAYJ. That's exactly what it is. What's up, everybody? Like K Jewelers. Class. Every kiss begins with K. What's up, gang? Thanks for tuning in. We fucking love you. You're the lifeblood of the show. We appreciate it. If you haven't

already, please make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes. Even though those numbers don't really fucking mean anything no more. But we're always flirting around the one hundo mark. I would like to break, I would like to break into the top like 50 or something, you know? So you can check us out there and then full video available on YouTube. And as you know, those numbers are true. True the roof. And then I don't have my notes in front of me. Do you have Tope? Can we, we might have to cut this until I do this to me every week until I find the Don't do it to me. You know, I get fired up until I find the great. Let me Google greatest website of all time. That's right. It's Patreon.com. Patreon.com.com. Sorry, garbage. Go check it out.

Plenty of fucking bonus content on there. Probably over 80 hours of podcast you get. It went up 10 from last week. Look at this guy. Well, we record a lot of fucking episodes. I don't know what to tell you. I heard 70, 80, maybe 90. We do live streams and also people don't know if you're just tuning into the show that additional bonus content is on there. We got the crib of your childhood home. My childhood home. We got the golf's on there. Got our moms on there. We played AYG with our moms. Family friend on there from your childhood. Family friend. We also got your first limo ride. We're doing it. And now the new, the new goal that we announced is in a couple of hundred more patrons. I'm taking a big man and T bone to Disney world.

When you wish upon a star. It's going to be a good time. I've also never been. Oh my god. I'm friends with Bezos. I'll show you the ropes. I am not going with Toby. I'm the princess of this trip. Big boy. Let me tell you that right now. We'll take you to the Dippity-Doo Salon. Get your hair done. This is my make a wish right here. They whack you out for about 700 at the Dippity-Doo Salon. What's the Dippity-Doo Salon? They go and dress you up like a princess will take you into the cat and the magic kingdom and they, you know, they dress you up. Can I do that? I mean, yes. Legally, if you're allowed, you sure will pay for it. I'll split it with you. Oh, they didn't even want a 400 pound guy around the little gals.

He's eating the pumpkin carriage. Yeah, that's nice. It'll be a good time. It'll be a good time. We're going to be drinking around the world the whole fucking nine yards. I love it. I appreciate it. I appreciate you pulling the trigger on that. It's nice. I'm excited to go. I'm excited for it. Yeah. But now because you lived your whole life as a non-Disney guy, now you've always hated it. You've hated Disney, but wait. Hold on. Let's back that up. You've hated it. You've never got to go. That, that, that, that. Yes. The Disney Corporation. It's good people. And you've projected on people that did get to go and it's like the, it's the classic immature age foley thing. That thing stinks. You know, like, yeah, oh, Disney World stinks.

It doesn't. You fucking bozo. Oh, Disney World, stupid. Put your cool rides in your millennium falcon. Yeah. That's like that. You can't fire me. I quit. I'm fucking Disney World. I'm glad I waited until now because if I were the one as a kid, I would have missed all the cool shit they have now. Can't really fit on a ride. So that's going to be an issue. I figure by the time, you know, have you seen that picture? I think we're going to be there next week. I'm going to have a timeshare down there. Oh, we should go to a couple of months and get in Disney World. We should go to a timeshare pitch. Okay. That should be that. That should be part of the trashy trip is I'll get a weekend in Disney to go. Did they do that? I'm sure. Set it up. I'll bring some sandwiches.

Be nice. Go to lunch. You just have to watch a nine hour PowerPoint on Saturday. Is it nine hours? They get you. They really wear you down. That's what it's like. All right. I like this. Pump up the heat. You're getting dizzy in there. You don't know what you're signing. How are we going to film it? Go under cover. Body cams. Oh, yes. T-bone gets a company card. I'm going to be there with a cowboy hat with the VHS cam inside. Toby's dressed up like a bellboy. Push it a cart. I like it. It'll be a good time. I'm excited. Thank you. Get on that Patreon. Thank you to everybody that signs up. I mean, there's over 2,300 now and I think that goal is going to be 2,800. I think we're doing a 2,750 or something like that. Yeah. We're going to

Disney. Yeah. We love it. We love you guys. We'll do a show down there too. Oh, line up a photo show. We're going to fucking the big guy playing in a big weekend. I like. Yeah. Timeshare pitches, casual dining facilities, Disney buffets. I mean, they have a nice buffet at Disney. I don't know if they really do buffets there. Really? I don't know. I think that'd be right up their alley. I don't know. I think they'd be serving slop right at the gate when you walk in. Have some more. It's got a ladle full of shrimp thrown in your fat face. You're like an orca. Got to watch out for the gators too. We're going to be staying off property. This buffet is pretty good. That's the dolphin's food, bro. We're going to be staying off property, by the way.

What do you mean? We're not staying on this. That's how they whack you out. It's like fucking 700. I want a full experience. Yeah. The full experience, the full Ryan family experiences you stay off, off the fucking premises. You drive over, you're fighting, you park 7,000 miles away, you hop on a tram. It's a whole fucking to do. Sleeping your car. Yeah. Where's the car? B9. Remember that. Hey, maybe you don't drink so much all day. Remember where the car is. I might throw a couple tantrums or two. Just prepare. I can only, once you see how big it is of a cat, like you're cooking, you're walking a lot. Oh, really? Yeah. We'll get golf car povages. Somebody already photoshopped us on rascal scooters. Zipping around. Zipping it. Yeah.

I like it. Gang, have a nice quick shout out to our producer extraordinaire. We didn't even bring a T-Bone. You didn't. You didn't. I got Disney on a brain. Oh, man. Pitching that picture. I like kids of go-kitter. I'll pay that right now. Gang, he's a local bozo. He's a good friend of ours. You may know him as Buttons. Give it up for T-Bone, Mcmuffin, Toby, Mcmuffin. What's up, dudes? T-Bone. Dude, I can't wait to go to Disney. Yeah. I'm telling you right now, you take me down there. Can't bring your skateboard. No, but what I can do is get about 45 hours of the Harry Potter experience. That's all I'm filming. Yeah. It's a lot. It's a... I thought you'd be against it. Against? Fun? No, we're not you, you troll. I don't know. Listen,

I was against it. I wasn't ever against it. I was jealous. It was different. I know. But I don't know. I feel like Toby's got some commie roots. What are you talking about? He was like homeschool. This kid doesn't know what's going on. Down there picketing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Big capitalism guy. Give me some of that Red Bull. Yeah, I didn't know they had Harry Potter too. Oh yeah, they got Harry Potter, Star Wars. I know they got Star Wars. The Avatar's cooking. Or wait, the Star Wars. They have like a wild Avatar thing. What is that? You mean the movie? The James Cameron movie? They got that too? Like an immerse, something. Yeah. They did another one where you're like in a helicopter kind of and you're flying around and the whole thing kind of

moves with you. You're like staying still but like as it dips, it dips and then like if you could fly over the ocean, they blow in like cool salt air and you feel it for a dude and they smell like you'll fly over like the jungle and you smell like grass and stuff. It's fucking, they get you all fucked up. It's like a deprivation thing. When did you go? I go weekly. No, I went a couple of years ago. My family, my mom and stepdad like taking all the nieces and nephews down every couple of years. We get Mickey Mouse tattoos. Tattoos? Yeah. We can paint your face. Okay. I know we said we got to stay off premises, but they're about to launch a Star Wars hotel. We can sleep in the Millennium Falcon. Come on. Come on. You know how much that cost,

dude? Come on, Kippy. Like genuinely, please. It's going to be like a $10,000 trip that we ain't got. Listen, you can't. We did just set two credit cards on fire for a new computer. Sure. Yeah. I mean, I just maxed out two brand new credit cards so T-Bone can go on Pornhub or whatever he does. I'll be at Disney. I'll be at Disney World of Ohio. Well, we're going to dress up on the plane on the ride down. You got to do it. You guys what? I want to be a pilot. No, you wear like your Disney stuff. You wear your ears. All fucked up at the bar. You just went generic costume. Yeah. I'm going to be a cheerleader. I'm going to be a cheerleader. I call construction worker.

Good stuff. We're having a good time here. I'll be a good time. Good time. Family app, Kip doing some cues. Yeah, I got some cues, guys. So, as you know, when you do join up for the aforementioned Patreon, we will answer your garbage question. It's just the best way to do it. But before we get into that, I got something that blew my mind. As you know, I got some of my wife's German, European friends staying with us this week. I didn't know we were talking about this publicly. No, but they brought up because we were talking about are you garbage and stuff like that. And then we were talking about leftovers. Okay. And like, you know, which is like the doggy bag to take the leftover box is a big, has been a big,

the first probably big issue on here. You're a snob. No, I don't do leftovers. I finish my meal. That's I'm not a snob. It's not like I go do away with this food. I eat my meal. I'm an adult. I'm a grown man. And also, I'll say again, I don't know what reality you don't finish your meal in. Okay. But the Germans, what they do, they take it at another level of bonkers. Take the chef home with them. Hey, buddy, hop in the back. Hey, Hans, you're ours now. You bring it nice. Get in the car. Scottish. That's German all the way. I don't know. I don't know. Let me get another take. That's the thing about Foley. He's such a patriot. He can't do it. You won't get in the car. God damn it. That's my German. My Australian guy,

he ain't going. I'm Australian. So where are you from originally? I'm going to put another shrimp on the baby. I thought it was pretty good. You get in the car. That's German. I don't know. It's a little far east as well. No, but they take their own Tupperware to the restaurant with them. And then if there's leftovers, they'll put it in there. No, they don't. Yes, they do. Wait, wait, who does? The Germans just broke Foley. Who does? What do you mean, who does? That's a common practice or you two friends are doing that? No, it's a common practice.

I was talking to- Are they doing that here? No, no, they don't do it. But I was like, what's a trashy German thing? And they were like, we were talking about leftovers and stuff like, oh, that was a big one on the show. They go, oh, what a lot of Germans do is they'll take their own Tupperware. Imagine rolling to the club with your own Tupperware. Got lunch ready to go. That's crazy to me. If you're walking in the steakhouse with warped lids, that's no good. You got a Cool Vip container? Just put it in here. Cool Vip. Ah, yes, Cool Vip. Ah, yes, Cool Vip. But it's not Cool Vip. It's meatloaf. It's Vinny Chitty. Dude. How crazy is that? And then my wife said, she's like, my family's never

done that. But they're Czech. So it's, you know, I guess it's maybe- They're classy people. That's what it is. Sure. Sure. No matter where you're from. It's garbage everywhere. That's crazy. Right. Because that's a large Tupperware. That's not just like a serious bag. Where are you putting it? Your purse, I guess. That's crazy. That's insane to me. I don't know. I don't like it. I don't like it because it takes away the classy image of Europe that I have now. Now I don't even know if I should go to Paris. Yeah, probably should. That's cuckoo, right? Yeah. And then this one's in the same world. I don't know if we ever touched on it, but as we start going to fancier nicer places, we're not eating at fucking Applebees all the

time. This one is- Sure. Have you ever blown your nose in a cloth napkin at a restaurant? That's from Al. Yes, I have. Oh, really? Oh, I love it. That disgusts me so much that I might never ever be able to use a cloth napkin at a restaurant ever. Love it. Grab one of those. Yeah, I'll take it into the bathroom with me to get a good face wash. If I work at the restaurant, I'm using those like fucking toilet paper. I burn through those. Oh, man. I'll keep your linen bill high. That's devastating to find out. With me on the team. Yeah, I'm bad. Love it. Love a good barrag, too. A fresh one, a dry one. They're great. Absolutely. Oh, man, that's no good. Put your grizzle in there when you're chewing it. If you got to spit something back out, you roll that out.

I mean, that's jammed up. That's one thing. You're in a circumstance that allows you, you have to make a call. You can't be swallowing fucking- I'll stuff it. I won't like reopen it up and fold it and like put it on the table. We know how you get with napkins, my friend. Very scrunchy with napkins. Oh, man. Don't remind me. That's a sign of a dirtbag. Yeah. We talked about it. I used your napkin. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Didn't get herpes, thank you. I have scrunch napkins everywhere when I'm eating. I know. They look like happy tissues if you catch my drift. Stuff them all in my glass. Yeah, I can't do that. What else? What else irks me, especially to New York diner now, is you get those glasses that are supposed

to be the clear plastic, but they've just been washed for like 35 years. They're all scratchy. They're all scratchy and like cloudy. And then they put the water in there and I look over and I see like an old lady with like her teeth falling out, drinking out of a cup and I'm like, how many people have drank out of this cup? And like, I just picture like tuna fish floating in the top of the cup. I get it. You know what's funny you mentioned? I get a fishy smell sometimes on a glass and I can't drink the water. It creeps me out. Yeah, well, yeah. There's some little faint something in there. Yeah, I don't like- I don't like drinking the water. That's why I get coconut fucking. The bubbles have fucking sterilized the cup. I honestly, I really,

I'm not saying this to sound fucking new money or anything, but I'm kind of over the tap water at the at the right. I don't want it. I don't want those glasses. Get out of here with that. Really? Bring me a bottle of spuck. Bring me a fucking club soda. I don't like the bubbles. I'm a flat man still. I'm no bubble. I'm a blue collar guy. I'm an American working man. The last couple of places that I've worked at. These fancy pants. You'll fit right in over there and you're up, you commie bastard. Yes. Your bubbles. Pellegrino, please. Pierre. Last couple of places I've worked at, did the bottles of water for the table and like old wine bottles? Like the Coret, like, yeah, or whatever. Yeah. Those things are never washed. I mean,

never. So I stay away from it. I don't even fuck with the tap water anymore. I'm out, but I'll blow my nose at the table with a cloth napkin. I'll tell you that right now. You draw the craziest lines in the sand. I know. It's nuts. It's crazy. You want to clear it out and then you fold it up and then. Yeah, but then someone's got to wipe the, I'm going, I like coming in. It's going to get steam cleaned. It's going to get marnized or whatever they do with it. It ain't sterile though. And you need, if you're boogers or somewhere, that thing needs to be sterilized, okay? Burn the restaurant. We got to fucking, they got to come in and chemically peel this room. Get Fauci in here.

Man, your bugs are everywhere. I don't like it. Great question though. Beautiful. Gang, let's talk about all form. All form. The good people at Helix. Yeah. Jumping out of the bedroom, hopping in a living room, all form couches. Easiest way to customize your couch. Get on all form. They're getting in the game and you won't be sorry. Yeah. It's the easiest way you can customize a sofa using premium materials at a fraction of the cost of traditional stores. They sent us one. It comes in. All right. We got it right over here. You can't see it. T-bones sit on it right now. It's beautiful. T-bones. He's got his feet up. Get your feet off the couch. Get your shoes off my brand. Off the all form. Off my brand new all form couch.

Call your father. I put it together by myself. I was amazed at how easily it goes together. It's kind of bonkers. I was like, there's no way I'm going to be able to do this. Didn't about a half hour. Really? Whole couch put together by myself. You choose. Looks sharp. You can do it. It's all it's all custom. You can do different color legs, different color this, an arm, a chaise lounge, an ottoman, the whole nine. Also two, if you get a love seat and then you move to a bigger place, you can just get that additional section added on to add it on. That's crazy. It's fantastic. Big fan of all form. All form wants you to do their part of exclusive offers, discounts for teachers, students, military first responders, the whole nine.

They're taking care of everybody. Nice. All form also has financing and flexible payment plans. So, an amazing sofa is never that far away and they even offer a forever warranty that is literally forever. To find the perfect sofa, check out allform.com slash garbage. All form is offering 20% off all orders for our listeners at allform.com slash garbage. Do it now. Ken, let's talk about dadgrass. Love dadgrass. Right? You like puffing doobies? You like getting smoked out with your boys and putting on Pink Floyd? Sure, we all do. But as you get older, you got more responsibilities. Pull it back a little bit. You gotta pull it back a little bit. But you like to indulge. You like to indulge. You wouldn't go home and drink a whole bottle of

wine. Would you? You'd have a glass. You'd enjoy yourself. And dadgrass is a primo stuff, man. Yeah, guys. It's a legal, organic, smokable hemp that relaxes your body and mellows the mind. Just takes the edge off a little bit. It really does. Like, you know, we're big CBD guys. We've been for years. It's fantastic. I do it every day. Chill out without getting stones. Like, you're having a glass of wine like the big man said. I'll have one when I get home. I'll have a mom grass. Yeah, you pop. You puff them. Yeah. All dadgrass products are federally legal for ages 21 and over and chips right to your door anywhere in the U.S. of A. Whether you're looking for a new buzz or a chill way to joy,

an old favorite, dadgrass will leave you in a euphoric mood right now. Dadgrass is offering our listeners 20% off your first order when you go to dadgrass.com slash garbage. Go to dadgrass.com slash garbage for 20% off your first order. One more time. Write it down because you're probably high. That's dadgrass.com slash garbage. Get a haircut. Do it. This one's from Jake Van Dam. Ever worked on a... That might be, that might be his real name. I don't know. Talk about a kick in the face. He's doing a split between two tractor trailers flying down the fucking...

Man, that's a fucking tight name. Yeah. Jack Van Dam. Ever worked on your car in a public parking lot? That ain't a good look if you're doing that. You got the toolbox out. I might have watched my mom put in a headlight in an auto zone parking lot once or twice. That's a little different. The auto zone's a little different. You're going there. I've definitely done the light. Out there fucking Marlboro 220 hanging out of her mouth. It's usually raining for some reason. It's never a sunny day. Anytime you're at auto zone, it's overcast. I'm right. Get out of there and help me.

Yeah. Press the brake. Press it. And you say, tell me if the light goes on. Hey, Tuts, we're in a fucking 88 Taurus. All right? It's fucking junked this thing. Yeah. It's a tough look. You see them in New York all the time, dudes. That's just... Dudes in the... It's always weird. It's a full blown garage. In the street. Well, like some place... On a Saturday, they're just doing it. They got three, four cars together. I know. Yeah. And some places do that as they're like... That's their business. That's their business. Like, hey, I have this corner. We never get the tickets.

Whatever. We just pay the tickets and this is our kind of little shop. And that's very neighborhood-y and stuff like that. But there's a guy who's... Cash business, too. Yeah. They're not taken. They're not taken. No, no, no, no. They're not on the square. You know what I mean? He can't swipe with them. There's no tablets over there. Yeah. There's one guy in my neighborhood just like no wheels on the car. And he's always over there tinkering. Like, it's like a broken down car. But it's been there for months. And he's just tinkering. Sometimes it has wheels. Sometimes it doesn't. It's never left.

And it's just like... Those car guys don't finish that shit a lot. Yeah. A lot. I don't have the money, typically. If you had the money, you wouldn't be doing it on the side of the road. You'd be... You know what I mean? You'd have a place. Typically, it's like, I'm going to buy this old thing and I'm going to get it together. You're never going to do it. That's coming from my stepdad. Like, I'm going to redo it. You know you're not. She's going to be bitching at you in a couple of months because it's out in the lawn with a tarp over the hood. You're just hemmed up waiting on a little bit of scratch for a carburetor or something. Yeah. And those things, man, those cars like that,

when they're hanging around, those things are fucking Hornet magnets. Yeah. You'll find a fucking Hornet Disney World on one of those things. They are frightening. Yeah. I don't know if I told you when I went back, when I picked up, I had the Montego's at my mom's house for a long time. I went back to get it, man. That thing, Hornet's all over the trunk in the fucking, in the tail lights. Hey, I was just fucking, I was spraying it from like 50 feet away with rain. Yeah, it was bad. They were everywhere. Fucking going to war. The empty ones, too. They were like all tucked in the corners. Fuck that. I might as well be paying the insurance on that. Wait, what empty ones?

Like they had like populated different ones and there was like already empty ones when I, yeah. Oh my God. They could do it. It looked like a scene from Star Wars, dude. They flew out of the fucking, out of the keyhole at me. They were already renovating. Oh man. He's just a city planner, huh? This guy's killing it. He's the queen, I think. Yikes. Yeah, I don't like that shit. I've done battle with those a couple of times with my dad because he had a fucking, he had an old Mustang that sat on the side of our garage for a while and that thing. You got a perfect driveway for a shitty car to be on that side. Oh, it's beautiful because it's raised up a little bit. You can just see the hood. And it's not in the front of the house,

it's on the side. It's like that house came with a beat up Chevelle. Red body with a blue hood. Like the front's up on those two little ramps. So you can get under it. Those things are trash. The kids are always playing in it. Yeah. Playing family and driving in the car. Uh-huh. Oh, it's garbage. But yeah, he fucking, one of those collected, it was like a superstructure. I'm dead out of fucking CVS and the Starbucks. This hornet's nest was a fucking bonko. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We fucking pulled the car up with the windows down with like three or four cans of raid, cracked a window, fucking opened up on them. Oh man. Cleaning house. Felt like McNamara. Taking them to task.

I, we had, this was not too long ago. This wasn't like the 90s or early 2000s. This was, the show was probably happening. And we had, my stepdad had, he had a suburban. It must have been like a 98, like a 1998 suburban. And he thought this thing was like fucking Air Force one. He was like, nobody was allowed to drive. First of all, I'm like, dude, the paint was chipping and he had left it for so long. Those things didn't age well. No, it was, it wasn't even the rounded edges. It was the, they, no, it was before they really made it. Aesthetically. For like people to ball out in it. It was, it was for towing fucking horse carriages or horse trailer. And we didn't have any horses. Yeah. It was for towing that or fucking

go carts or something like that. This thing went bad fucking quick. Dude, it had like one flat tire and then like within three days, the other three went flat. It was just sitting there. My mom was like, you gotta fucking move this thing. It was bad news. Dude, a car with a flat tire in your driveway. This thing had four flat tires and was sitting in our driveway recently. Really? Yeah. Not a good look. The home of the, the coldest, the people, the other people in the cul-de-sac were writing letters. Buddy of mine. Ah. New people moved in next door to them. They parked a bus on the lawn. Ooh. Not like a school bus either. It was like a school bus that they painted. Yeah. It looked like the Partridge family bus. It was all different. It tough look.

That's not something you take out. If you took it out every day, I'd be like, well, it's at least not there. If you drove it to work. Imagine a hornets and that thing. Oh man. Jesus Christ. Driving it to school. Those things don't fuck around. They're all tripping balls. He was freaking out too. Yeah. Cause that, that's. That'll knock the whole fucking, the whole zip code goes down. Oh man. Property value by bio. Remember one, one time this guy in my dad's neighborhood growing up, he had school buses parked in the street. Like he like bought a couple of them at like auction or something. That was real fucking cockatoo. Who does that? Real out there. And they were like, hey man, you got it. You got to move your buses. This is crazy. Like you just have three school

buses parked. And like his prop, like his, you know, his, what was he doing with them? Nothing. Obviously nothing. People, these guys just bought him to have him. I guess he was probably planning something. You know what I mean? I don't know. Yeah. Kidnapping a bunch of kids. So do you remember that movie? Getting the whole middle school at once. Trying to get a stuntman career off the ground. 52 more buses are going to make the jump. You ever jumping out of the back of that when they do the drills? Oh man. You felt your Johnny. I thought I was jumping out of a fucking C 130. I had my shoot. I throw it first. Out the back. You felt like a construction worker. You felt like a stuntman. You felt like everything. Fucking Navy seal. I got a dog strapped

to me with goggles on. You're strapped to a fatter guy. Go, go, go. Oh, my one bus driver was a Vietnam, an old Vietnam that too. They all wear back in the end. What are you talking about? That was the only job that mailman. He got into it too, man. Oh, yeah. Hit the ground roll and right to the brush. Now imagine there's Agent Orange everywhere. You're like, what the fuck? First thing you want to do when you hit the ground is clear the LZ. What? Good luck on that bus if your name's Charlie. He's looking at, he's just staring at Charlie in the mirror. There's big mirrors. And he's, he does it there. He's, he does it. I'm going to go ahead and call you, Charlie.

Oh, now on your names Nathaniel Victor. That's a good piece of business. So what happened to the buses? Did you work, did you have safeties? We had it like you were like, it'd be like a bus safety when you were. You mean rats? Yeah. When you were in sixth grade. Our elementary school went first to sixth and then junior high was seventh, eighth, ninth and then high school, 10th, 11th, 12th. That's Broncos. We went ninth, 10th, 11th, 12th. They changed it when I, that's the way to go. They changed it when I was in, well it was populated. They couldn't fit all of the school. So once they built the second school and I was in like 10th grade or whatever that,

they then changed it to a proper ninth grade. When you're a freshman and you see a senior walking through the hall. We talking guys or girls? I was talking ladies, but the boys were nothing to shake a stick at. I was sick in high school. I tell you, that was a couple of guys that were fucking cool as shit. But you could be the bus, you were a bus safety and you had like a badge or whatever. Real cool. Sick nine. Everybody down. Yeah, I was tough but fair. You know what I mean? Everybody had to kick up a little bit too. You walking around like John C. Riley and fucking gags of New York. Put another notch on my stick. Ah, what are you doing there boys? How was that? Pretty good, huh? Little corrupt.

Taking money from the lunch lady. Oh yeah. Hey, for sure. Hey, I'll talk to the drivers even if you can stop at your place first. You know what I mean? I'll see what I can do. Can't make any promises. Randy, let me ask you a question. Like walking home at night in the rain. It gets a little scary out there. How's that going to make that happen for you? Like a big lead shoe made me look the other way. Where'd you get the money from? Shakedown time boys. Shakedown time. Kippy's here. I don't want it all just to taste. I'm a fair man at the end of the day. Yeah. We all got to eat. I applied but they would. You who didn't get it. No, I wasn't able to do that shit. Didn't pass the psych exam.

Who are the piss tests probably? They kicked me off the force. All I ever wanted to do was be a safety officer and they kicked me off the force, man. You were like that mutant in 300 that tried to be part of. You end up turning fucking snitching on everybody. I knew the way. I knew the way. Raise your shield, boy. I started my own private company. I started doing stuff overseas. Private contract. Blackwater shit. Haliburton. Fatwater. Fatwater kind of stuff. No, never a safety guy. Safety officer. Badges were pretty tight. I'm not going to lie.

Yeah, orange strap and a badge. You know, badge is just the strap. Oh, we had the badges. Yeah. They were metal too back then. This was the 80s, bro. Which grew up in the wild west. What the fuck? It was the 80s. They were metal. Yeah. Damn. Could scare somebody one of those. Yeah. Flash the steel on them. Everybody up against the wall. All right. Let's get into some questions. We've been doing questions. What are you talking about? Oh, man, you're fucking cuckoo today. Cuckoo bananas. Yeah. How things at home? Low flow showerhead finally installed? Because you're a wolf in over there. Am I? Am I a wolf in? You got some flop to you. There's no product. You're typically a product guy.

I'm usually a product guy. Yeah. You know, it's a little, uh, yeah. It's a little different. Yeah. You kind of, you kind of look like Costanza when he gets the toupee. Really? Correction. I was bald. That's what you got going on right now. I'll let you know that. It comes out and in real quick. You can't see where it hits your head. I'm in a transition. What do you want from me? I tried to wear a button, short sleeve button down, but I got told I couldn't wear it because I got sweatpants on. Apparently sweatpants in a short sleeve. Yeah. The little cost shirt goes real well with the sweats. I thought it looked better though, right? Looks better with the sweats.

What a pair of jeans. Nah. It'll make you feel better. I'm telling you. They're coming to work. Listen, it doesn't make me feel better. I like our routine. I don't know. What's our routine? This coming in here. I like it. I like having my comfy clothes on and coming in and doing the pot. But if I had a spot later tonight, which I do not, I would, I would have a pair of joggers on. Which are sweatpants with a mustache. I mean, what are we talking about here? They're a monocle on a pair of sweats and called it a day. They're khakis with elastic and sweatpants here. They're the greatest pant ever. I mean, the cargo joggers. I mean, you'll be burying me in those. Hopefully later than sooner.

Didn't sound confident though. I mean, you know. All right. Let's see here. Hit me. This one has to do with the car. And we've talked about this before, but this is from Jeffrey. Will you put the little tree air freshener on the mirror without replacing the other one? Do you have multiple trees up there? No, no, I can't do that. That's a, that's a very religious thing for me is that you go get the car washed and then you switch out the tree. You get a new one. But I, but I want to say now, I am all tree all the time. That's the only air freshener in a car that I would ever use is that I'm not doing the fucking the glades that plug into the fucking window or plug into the fans. They did have these plugins for the fans

that was just like a little stick. Those aren't bad, but when you want power and you want to feel good, the sense, they come up with that tree company. They're pretty good. They're on and all what they're doing and it's very nostalgic for me. Like I put a cherry, one of those on. I'm riding around my cousin flow when it's fucking Pontiac grand damn cousin flow. Yeah. His name is the nickname is flow. His first name. Joe. Joe flow. Joe flow. Sounds like a real cool guy. Joe flow Flaherty. Shout out to him. Whoa. Yeah. Fucking basketball. What's up? I'm Joe flow Flaherty. Kid was a rock star back in the day. What's he doing now? It does good family. A whole nine yards. He's older now. He was probably like

10 years older than me. He was my introduction to cool when I was a kid. You know what I mean? See it didn't stick. With my sweatpants. With your two payers, your polo and your sweatpants. Yeah. He was much cooler than me. But yeah, fucking all the boys always had trees. Everybody had trees are big. And what I did for the first time ever, as you know, I got the Kia brand new 2021 about 6,000 miles on it. I don't want it to become like every car I've ever had where like I don't eat in it. I haven't smoked a Bernie in it yet. I've been pretty good. I'm surprised you've held out this long. You but you we do even you let not we don't eat like you can get like pretzels or something. We're not eating meals. We're not going to the drive through. Well, we're not eating

sandwiches. It's funny. You mentioned that because when I think I let you guys have bagels one time because we were already big and egg and cheeses were driving a new bunch of which I didn't eat out of respect because we were already late. But that's why I fucking said it. That's why I allowed it. Got you already late. All right. I'm not doing drive. I'm not doing like what is the tree have to do with any of this? Because do you know the way you're supposed to use a tree? Oh, just slide down. That's what I've been doing. And it's not bad. Wait, so you have the you have the back. No, you put it under the seat. You take it. You're only supposed to. No, fuck that. You're supposed to cut the top and like pull it out like an inch and then let that and then pull

it out after like a few weeks, pull it out again, pull it like I'm telling you. I like it in overdrive. Yeah, I wanted to try and not to do that because you can never bounce back from you're also got a lot of burnies to cover. I'm not covering anything up. That's what I'm saying. I don't need I still have my I still have new car smell, which I don't want to lose either. You know, so I'm trying to keep I'm trying to keep it a little bit. You got to you got a lot of stuff you got to fight back against. That's the problem. Your B.O. That's probably the worst. The burn. I don't make a tree for that. The burnies and all the food in there. Sure. Well, not these days. You're going toe to toe. I'm going toe to toe. I'm going to toe to

toe with the mucinix guy. He's in there. Yeah, you got a lot of a lot of bugs under that. But even if I didn't, I would be fucking full. I want the full blast of it. I'm going to get a new one in a week or two. It gives a shit. Sure. Keep it running tight. I'm saying, but you've also never had a car where you haven't eaten or smoked in it. So you don't know that you don't need that. You don't need to fucking carpet bomb that thing with fucking black ice. Okay. That's what I'm telling you. Black ice. A gentleman's. Yeah. I think I'm a tropical. So I go light green. You do? Sometimes lemon. I love a tropical. You know what I loved? I don't know if they're making me anymore, but lifesavers used to make a tropical pack. You remember that?

What am I? A fucking jerk off? Oh, and there was always that one coconut one in there. Yeah. You'd get like two coconut ones in the fuck. There was like a life. It felt like you were in the island. There was a light purple that would blow your fucking hair back in that thing. Where are those things? I don't know what it was, but it was fucking. What? They get canceled? What the fuck did tropical lifesavers ever do to anybody? Bring them back. That's probably part of the problem around here. Gotta be cool again. Kip. Yeah. This one right here. What's that? It's a good people at Roman. Roman. Remember how you used to talk about ED back in the day?

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garbage at checkout. That's boxofawesome.com. Code garbage for 20% off your first box. Do it. Now, back to the show. Show. This one, I don't know. We might have talked about something along the lines. This is from Saul. I haven't had a question read yet. Have you ever had a little or, you know, also too, if you're in the position now, if you're having a gathering at the house, would you run out of spoons and forks? How many do you got going? Like, what? If you were having a dinner. What am I a fucking catering company? I got four forks, four knives, four good spoons. And we have, we've been abundant to plates, but that was an Amazon thing. They sent us one and one was chipped. So they just fucking send you another bio. Yeah,

they're not sending you a one or sending a box of eight fucking bezels and zipping around the fucking solar system. You don't give a fuck. I don't know how they make money. Like the kippy gets out there. Yeah, we were probably, we got like the one. I'm sorry. We're not talking about my parents. We're talking about my place. Your place. Your parent. I mean, dude, you go look at my mom has like 10,000 forks and knives. My mom could feed the National Guard. Yeah, I know. And then I look at mine and there's like, I'm like missing a knife. There's like a mismatched fork in there that looks like I stole it from a fucking college cafeteria. I don't know where the fuck this thing came from. Are you a little fork guy or a big fork guy? Big fork. A little spoon typically.

On cereal, little spoon. You got a big cereal guy. I mean, if a cereal go big spoon, but everything else. What about icy keen? Little spoon? I'm a little spoon. I think I go big spoon for ice cream. Little spoon. You never say icy cream to me ever again. Like your fucking cat or your girlfriend, please. I'm your boss and I will be respected as such. How the fuck am I ever going to get to space when I got you saying icy cream? I go a little spoon for yogurt. Yeah, otherwise you'd be done in a second. Surprised you're not mainlining it, to be honest with you. I go soup ladle for cereal. We've talked about it in the past, but I remember my dad would make a bowl,

a Tupperware thing, a special K. Dude, my favorite thing to eat cereal out of is not a cereal bowl, it's some other thing. It's an in-ground pool. How you going to get the milk in there? Yeah, those things are great. Mixing bowl and just crushed like a fucking huge thing, a honey match cereal. I don't like that. I like going to multiple bowls. I like dancing with the devil of a little bit of more, you know. Really? Yeah. It keeps it interesting. Is this one going to be too crunchy? Is it going to be too soggy? Will you mix the cereals? We've talked about this, maybe. Would you? Yeah, but I always hated it because it meant there was not enough left

of something, so you got all the crumbs in the dust. I love the crumbs in the dust. No, that's not for me. What? I like a whole flake of something. Oh, the fucking bottom of the cereal box is the best. No, Toby. No. What? No. Now this is crazy. I'm not a fan. Stop the show. You think you know somebody. What about me? Says I like crumbs at the bottom. This is going to cause a riff in the fucking, in the bozo army. Bring it on. I'm telling you right now. Toby hit my camera. Somebody goes, I also love the kid because Toby hit my camera and he never hits his camera. Toby hit me. That's, I thought that was a universal fact that everybody loves the last fuck, especially sugar cereal. You're getting like eight more grams now. I don't like that. I just

want this. I want the cereal as the manufacturer intended it. Whole flakes or whatever. I don't need all the fucking dust. It's dust. And then the milk gets, milks feels like it's like sandy water. What are we doing? It thickens it up a little bit. It feels like a stew. Love that. I love that. Oh man. The mixing. Back court doesn't stand a chance. The way you talk about milky fucking cereal milk. It turns into a stew. How is that supposed to be more appetizing? Oh yeah. You know that sugary treat you're having for breakfast? It reminds me of a stew. Nice goulash. Now you're talking. Goulash cereal. Diabetes, gazpacho. This one, this goes into something that you relatively talk about that you bring up,

like really like stupid human tricks or whatever. Like you have a question about that. Did anybody in your family do this, the double joint? Can you pick things up with your toes? That kind of stuff. Play the piano with your toes. Yeah. I don't think we've ever talked about this. This is from Kemper. Do you have a skill like flipping your eyelids inside out? Remember that kid? That kid drove at the back of the bus for sure. He didn't finish. No. He could flip his eyelids inside out. Yeah. And he would just be really turning like, what the fuck? God damn. Give me a heads up if you're doing that shit. Yeah. Same kid can make himself fart too. Jack of all trades if you ask me. Real ladies man.

He was double jointed. He could put his arm back like that. He could flip his eyelids. He could gleeke, which I think we've been. I was at the shoot the slide out of your thing. Yeah. That's fucking, that was like, that was like a superpower. I don't think I had any friends that could do it. We knew a kid, my buddy, so we gleeked. You know, we went through a gleeking phase. Stop saying, I don't, first of all, no one even says like, I'm a gleeker. We went through a gleeking phase where we, whatever that was going on, whatever. What do you mean was hot in the streets? Whatever. What are you talking? You know, everybody, every movie was talking about. When we discovered it, whatever age it was.

When that was going on. You remember it was all life lights and gleeking. Yeah. Every, my mom was gleeking. From DMC was the music on the street. And we were a pack of gleekes. There was Joey to gleeke, Tommy to gleeke, Mikey to gleeke and me, Jimmy Gleeke. Anyway, my buddy at the time said that he used to go to. Holy, we heard you don't gleek. No, man, I'm gleeking. I swear, I gleeked this weekend. He told a tale of a kid that he used to take the bus with that could do it in a constant stream, which we all thought he was lying. That's like, that's like the Richard Gear gerbil thing. No. Fast forward five years. I met said gleeker. We're in high school. All right, we're all smoked up, driving around. This kid just happened to be in the car with his mom getting

gas and fucking my buddy freaked out. He's like, this is the fucking kid I told you about. And he did it right in front of us. That was the greatest day of my life. Sounds like a great town you came from. He's now the mayor. And with your help, I'll gleeke for this whole city. This one's a homerun, Alan. Did your family do family newsletters? No, no, no, no. And if we got a gossip on phone calls, but never a family. Oh, forget it. My mom is back there yapping like three barbers. What do you mean? Smoking Bernie's and talking medical stuff. My mom. Who's got what? Who's this? Where are they going? Nisi and my Aunt Patty talk probably every day and they're just, I'm assuming just, did you hear, did you whatever, did you buy her? I haven't heard back. I don't

know. You had smokes and coffee into that. Yeah, drives my dad crazy. She's always walking around yapping on the phone. But no, we didn't do that shit. And we would, we would generally make fun of the long laundry, laundry list that we would get around Christmas time from, you know, one bozo or the other. What do you mean laundry list? You actually get a paper? No, like, you know, when people send like the what's going on in their lives at Christmas time. I never gotten that. Really? Oh, like a family update that comes with like the Christmas card to let everybody know Johnny's doing football and Tony's doing this and bup, bup, bup. He didn't do that. Really? What about you? No, no, no, no, no. That sounds like a family newsletter to me. That's what I would assume

is we didn't send the people would send it to us. But yeah, regardless, I'm saying it's called something. I just can't think of it. Your Christmas card, whatever it is. I don't understand what a Christmas card is. Yeah, I've never received one picture of the family and then like a note of what's going on in their lives on a beach or something, you know, we put them all up on our front door. Is that trashy? The Christmas cards we got from people. My mom always taped into the front. We put them around something. Yeah. Nice. Yeah. Real trash. Throw them out on the first Yeah. 26. It breaks. You do that. I don't think so. We put them on Christmas. What the fuck? I'm not a pilgrim, right? What are you doing? This may be the most insulting thing that's ever

been asked of me on this show. He's got that wooden wheel and stick out in the yard. What's it called? Magnet. That thing, you mean? No. No, he's talking about the old timey. Like, you see Amish kids hitting the wheel with the stick. That reminds me. Somebody, I want to do devils. I'm going to order a pair of devils sticks. Bring back my fucking, my rain. They're going to say double eggs about to jump on board. I got mine on me. All right. This one is from Uncle Cracker Barrel. I don't care who you are. Get that kid a scholarship right now. That's fucking genius. I don't get you gleakin' for sure. Uncle Cracker Barrel. Oh man. How about that? All right. From Uncle CB, did you ever wash a suit in the washing machine because you didn't have

time to take it to the dry cleaner? Holy shit. Let me tell you, don't do it. No, it's not going to bad. It's not going to come out, right? It fucks it up so bad. Yeah, never. Never, never, never. Who's here wearing a suit made out of sweatpants? Bad, tough look, not good look at all. Yeah, never. You can't do it. It's not, it's not meant for that. And I, I'm also not a big dry clean guy, but you got to dry clean a suit. I love a dry clean. You're not a dry clean guy. If I could afford it and had one of clothes, I'd get everything dry cleaned. I love the dry clean. Like your t-shirt? Like, I don't understand. I'd love to get my t-shirt dry cleaned. I'd love to have that. No, I don't think I would. Keep everything nice and tight. Little starch, too. First of all,

it's a little too tight to begin with. Taut, fresh, crisp. So I wouldn't have the, the, the, the forehead lines on my, on my t-shirts. Forehead lines. You know, the wrinkle lines. You don't call them forehead lines. They also go away when you wash it. And I know, but they'd instantly. I like how he didn't defend himself. No, I know. I just don't want it. It instantly. You showed up today with them already, with it already rinkied up. No, because I rode in the car. This is a clean shirt. I don't think so. He's right. It's. Somebody's on the page on there like, if we could give a seminar on how to speak fully. I like to lie. Oh yeah. Um, yes. All right. This one's from Kyle. I don't even know. This,

this goes back with the, this one's from Kyle. Have you ever brought your own cake to a restaurant for birthday dinner? Okay. Here's the thing with that. It's not garbage. It's not garbage. The fucking restaurants don't have fucking whole cakes. And if they do, they're going to charge you by the slice and bang you out because fucking Callihan's or someplace up here did that. We did a birthday for my brother at that. We forgot to get a cake or something. And we're like, do you have a cake? And it was like $150 for a fucking cheesecake. Yeah, probably eight bucks a slice. Yeah, fucking crush you. I don't think it's classy. It's not classy. It's classy because I worked at nice joints and classy people would

come in for a birthday dinner and they would get there early and they would say, here's the cake, put it in the fridge. We'll let you know when they bring it out. Here's the candles. So when you come and take the dessert order and all that stuff and you're ready to serve dessert, you just bring that out. It's nice. I understand. I'm not saying it's classy, though. I have a caveat. I don't think it's trashy. If you get a private room, I think it's acceptable. If you're just at a regular, they're pushing tables together and you're having to put the cake in the back. It's got to be how many people to why? I don't understand. What do you mean? What's wrong? You're making a reservation. You make it sound like you're coming in off a bus and it's a half

eaten cake. Well, if you bring it. That one's named it. That slice was already out of that cake. Goddamn bus boys, eating the cake back there. They only sold me nine donuts. I don't know what happened. I think there's a number of people. You can't do that with four people. It's got to be an event, I feel. I don't think if you're having a birthday dinner with you and like four people or whatever, that's got to be like 10, 12 people. First of all, it's got to be a party. Let me say this. I don't know if I really believe this, but I'm going to say it anyway. Welcome to Foleyville. If you're an adult and you're going out to dinner with like, I don't care if it's six people. The most classy move is, hey, can you put a candle

in his dessert? Whatever. He will just bring him whatever and put a candle in it. It's a single candle. That's what I'm saying. So bringing your own cake is, I'm not saying it's trashy, but I'm saying it's not, the classy thing is to do, the reserved thing is, hey, listen, bring them the whatever slice or whatever you have. Everybody's got something that they do for birthday. Real subtle, one candle, just maybe whatever. That's the classy way to do it. Wait, we're not talking about singing happy birthday, are we? No. Okay, because that's fucking trash.

Yeah, this is just the cake. But also too, if you're bringing a cake, I'm assuming you're going to do the happy birthday. That goes hand in hand with me. That's what I'm saying. If it's a grandparent. And it's typically like upstairs in a fucking Irish pub or something. If it's a, if it's a grandparent. I've got some flip flopping on this. It's trash. I was trying to give it to you. If it's a grandparent and there's kids involved, yeah, you might have to sing happy birthday. That's a little different.

It's a little different. But I'm saying, no, so you're saying you're going adults. You're going like five couples. All right. Six couples, 12 people. Yeah. I don't think you should sing happy birthday. Of course not. And to me, the classy thing is, hey, it's his birthday. Do whatever you do. Super stuff.

Don't bring out the happy, happy birthday. Like just bring him a cake with a candle. Those sparklers shooting up. That's too much. What are you doing? Unless you're popping bottles in fucking one oak or something. Start with straight shots and then pop bottles. Yeah. No, it's trash. It's trash.

I've flip flopped on this. It's trash. You shouldn't do it. I mean, if you do whatever, it's a good time. The separate room does give you a little bit more leeway of like, hey, this is our space. We're doing our own thing aside from the restaurant. I think you're crazy. And it's got to be at least 10 people. I don't think there's anything wrong with it.

And some of the most classy joints I ever worked in with like wealthy people. That doesn't mean they're classy. You can go all this. You say this all the time. I'm saying they work. Listen, I'm saying they work. They work classy. Not because they're wealthy, but they work. How many people though?

How many could that could be 10? They brought in a strawberry shortcake from fucking, I don't know, some bakery? Shop right? No, I'm not talking about a sheet cake from Shop Right. I am because they ain't too shabby. It's an everyday cake. Yeah, I'm not saying people don't, I don't know.

It's not the classiest way to do it. Put it that way. Give me that. It ain't the classiest way to go about it. It's not. It's for sure not the classiest way to go about it. Classiest way to about it. Everybody orders off the menu.

If you're picking up the bill because it's your wife's birthday, that's what it is. You don't worry about the fucking money. You also don't bring in a fucking sheet cake from fucking the cake balls or whatever. I just thought of something. Well, hit it. Hit it.

Don't hold out. I just thought of something. Come over to the dark side. Well, we recently had a birthday. We celebrated my mother's 70th. Happy birthday, Patty. We love you. Happy birthday, Pimeo.

Shout out. I'll be in your DM. Well, we enjoyed a nice meal as a family. What a establishment. The Joseph Ambler Inn in our neck of the woods. Nice, I don't know it. Delicious, beautiful. Yeah, it was nice.

One of those old places. Like the Bluebell Inn or the William Penn Inn or one of those. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Old Colonial-esque style. Exactly. That's exactly what it was. Gotcha. We did have a private room for that.

We did just order desserts and then just put a candle in it. We did sing Happy Birthday because the kids are involved. Private room also? Yeah, kids are involved. However, in this conversation that we're having here, sparked a memory that I may have tried to bury. That reflects poorly on the Foley's. Oh, God.

I do believe that some special glasses were brought, some birthday glasses, and a request was made to the server, hey, can you make these drinks in these glasses for her birthday? What is a birthday glass? Like a plastic cup. A plastic glass with happy birthday written on it. Plastic cup. Don't try to glass it up with plastic glass.

That's counterintuitive. It might have had a stem on it. It's a plastic cup that said happy birthday patty or something. Something like that. Then you got it like discountmugs.com, where we got our koozies that are available. Check the link in the description. That's bad.

That is trash. I remember somebody asking me. I got plots that Patty's birthday or Patty's party, some sort of trashy alliteration. Hey, I got plots that Patty's party. I remember that. We're going to need said cup for the set, by the way. Toadie's going to need to wet her beak on a cup.

I think we could probably procure that. I would assume. It's in one of the two homes, I believe. Two homes. See that my brothers are my moms. Okay. Yeah, that's a tough look. People that are doing that are also doing the cake.

That ain't good. You brought them in and took them out? Yeah. Oh, maybe they did leave them there. No, there's no way they left them there. What are you, I'm going to go over your house for Thanksgiving. I mean, I'm going to get one fucking dirtbags. I remember that when you went over to your buddy's house to eat

and they had glasses that didn't match and all that stuff. Like a worn down movies cup and shit with all the paint got washed off and the dishwasher. I'm drinking a warm Pepsi out of a coffee mug. What's your dad? Not quite enough Pepsi fits in a mug too. That's about 15 bugs you need to get through a Sammy. Man.

If I'm eating pizza and you give me a mug full of fucking coke, I'm going straight out of the bottle. Might as well be a shot glass. Yeah, that's not fucking worth it. Tough look. Drinking soda out of a coffee mug. You only get like two, three cubes of ice in it though. Talking about cakes, I feel like we'd all be in agreement on this

that the trashiest cake you could get is the one where they print the photo on it. Yes, to me, yes, yes. Unless you died. All right, I'll give you that. That's dead guy cake. But still, you died tragically. Yes, of course.

It wasn't your natural causes. You died tragically. That's dead guy's cake. To have that cake. If your face has ever printed on a cake, it was a closed case. If I'd make sure they don't put my face on anything. Perhaps, yeah, okay. I don't want my face on anything like that.

I don't want a t-shirt. I don't want nothing. I don't care what it is. Definitely not a cake. Because first of all, they stink too. And it took them a couple of years. It's always like, who wants to eat a dead guy's ear? I got the eyeballs.

It took them a couple of years. Because for a while, they were just like a thin sheet of paper that was over it that you just ate and pretended like you weren't eating printer paper. Yeah. It's not a fucking inkjet carrot cake. Yeah, that's tough. Sorry, your cake's all fucked up.

We ran out of toner. Oh, I was going to say extra toner for me. Why is this one in black and white? We ran out of magenta. Yeah, I'm not a big fan of that at all. No. Yeah, you can't do that. You can go classic cake.

But I'll tell you what, a classic grocery store cake. I think we talked about this with Chrissy D, maybe. Yeah, fucking right up the middle. Right up the middle. I don't hate it. Vanilla. It's kind of stinking the chalk. That's all we ever got.

That's all we ever got. Nobody ever went to a cake party. My mom made them. My mom made them. My mom would make them too. But like, if we were buying a cake, especially like as we got older, my mom's like, if I'm like 16

and we're just going to have like a barbecue or whatever, she wasn't making a cake. One because I didn't like it, so she would just buy like a fucking sheet cake. Chicken finger cake. Ketchup icing. No ketchup until recently. You weren't a ketchup kid at all?

Never. What? Did I know this? I know you were. I've just recently become a ketchup man. I know you were a barbecue guy. What were you dipping your fries in then? Barbecue if it was there or I'm a plain Jane.

Really? Old school meat and potatoes, baby, right up the middle. You're like Angela's ashes. Like a Molly McGuire. What do you think the classiest cake is? Black forest? Listen, turn his mic off. I don't know what they...

The black forest is never fucking good. And if you mention red velvet, I'll smack you. It's the icing's good. Red, get out of here with the red velvet. Yeah, it's beans. It's missing something. Yeah. It needs chocolate chips or something.

I don't know. I'm not a cake guy. I don't know. Something the cake boss makes? I'll tell you what I don't kick out of bed is that confetti cake. That shit's hot. What's that?

You also know what's great, though. It is trashy. We picked up one of those from fucking Magnolia from my sister-in-law's birthday. What the fuck's a confetti cake? This guy. Well, if you want to be a real dirtbag about it, it's funfetti.

Yeah, it's funfetti. A funfetti cake. That looks all right. They just put rainbow sprinkles in the batter. That's like milk bar shit. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fucking tight.

Um, a fucking old school right up the middle, Carvel ice cream cake with the crumbles in the between the layers. Let it sit out for a couple of minutes. Yeah, let it rest. Yeah, really nice. Eat it out of a bowl. Oh, come on.

Not too shabby. Those crunchies, but we used to fight over them. And as a kid, they were like salt in the ancient world. Those crunchies, when you were a kid, bro, the fucking wars were caused. We're down in the crunch. We've secured the crunchy mine. Oh, man, I'm telling you.

Um, also too, it was big when we were a kid, you know, like 10, whatever, uh, was when you were cutting the cake, you would try to get your name. If it said like happy birthday, Kevin, or what, you would try to get your whole name. Buddy, sometimes you're eating a slice of cake the size of the table.

There's fucking munching on it. You haven't put your middle name and confirmation name on there, too. Kevin James, Ryan Kippy, KJ. You put my address on there as well. NPO box. Yeah. Yeah.

My mom, my mom always made chocolate cake, buttercream icing, homemade, up the middle, fucking old school. Uh-huh. One of those waiting up for me on February when I fucking walk into the house after school. Let's go. Yeah.

Ready for dinner. Um, all right, let's do one more and we gotta skedaddle. Um, this one is pretty funny and I assume it resonates with most suburban people. This is for Michael and how many deflated balls do you have in your garage? Dude, that's so fucking funny you mentioned that.

Every, dude, there's something not, there's nothing at my mom's house that you could play with. No. But there's one of, at least one of everything. Dude, that's so, the yesterday, Saggolo and I had a catch with a football. Of course you did. That was in my, that's in my car,

that's my nephew's, that is fucking half deflated. Yeah. No, you never, the pumps you never had. No. Trying to find those needles when you were a kid. There was like a two-year period. It was like national treasure. There was a two-year period where we had a tight ship

at the house. Really? We had the air compressor and all the needles and everything and everything worked. And I, you felt like fucking Richie Rich. So you had a pet boy. Neighbors were coming over. Let me use the, I got the needle.

You know what I mean? Oh, those needles. I didn't know, it's like, do we not have dicks back then? How come we just didn't go and get some? I know. They were never around. I don't know, man. There was a thing with the 90s, at the 90s,

at least for me, I'm sure with the 80s, but like, well, I think we were talking about this, like you just suffered. You know what I mean? You're just like, well, I guess I'm just going to play basketball with a flat ball. Now imagine a kid having that. Like, I don't know.

We just did everything with whatever you had. It was like so half that, half that. Never had new cars. Never had, it was always like, you just. Never had a needle for a fucking pump. Never. I know that. Never, uh-uh, never.

How many times do you like shot a basketball and it just fell flat, didn't bounce back to you? I think we were talking about skippets and how the counter never worked. Oh, the counter never worked on skippets too. Or could you have fixed that? Skip it. What?

Could you have fixed that? Well, I mean, I'm not Tim, the two-man tailor. Yeah, I'm on my magnifying glass. That's what I'm saying. I mean, that's just something that just didn't work. The pump you could get, you could get a pump and fix the. You had to know someone at NASA. Why didn't everybody have a pump?

They're nine bucks now. They weren't nine bucks back then. They had to be expense. That's what I'm saying. Like, it didn't make sense that not everybody else had a working pump. Everybody's got one now. They probably come with cars.

Every trunk probably comes with a fucking air compressor. Yeah. Good times back then. Yeah. All right. Let's do one more because that really died down. I'm looking at the host to fucking land the plane. He pulls up.

Let's NPR this for a minute. This one's just funny. This is from Michelle. Haven't had a question in red yet. What is the trashiest chip and why is it cool wrench Doritos? She's not rolling. No, she's not. They're good.

Love a nice cool ranch. They are the pinnacle. They are phenomenal. They're good. They're great. They're not my favorite. Dorito. Really?

No. What are you? Sweet chili lime guy? Not too bad. Fucking new money bullshit. The spicy nacho ain't nothing to turn your nose up at either, okay? You bite your fucking tongue.

Cool ranch is great. It's fine. But you're an up to middle straight nacho cheese guy. That and a fucking screaming cold Coke. Those things hit the scene like a fucking tidal wave. Big fan, baby. Let's wrap it up. Let's wrap it up.

Gang, listen. We love you guys. We appreciate you. Come out and see a live show. Yeah. Having some couple of dates for the end of the year. It's going to be fun. Upstate New York, Albany, Syracuse,

and Hartford, Connecticut will be in the middle of December. So get those fucking tickets. The link will be in the description and we'll probably be in the bumper already. And come to see us in New York City, baby. We love you. We'll see you next week. Peace.