Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Trashy Cars Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Episode Date: June 30, 2025

Are You Garbage is back with Kevin Ryan and H. Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon about Trashy Cars. It's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG 2025 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Best of AYG: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZL8bt-D-ZN4&list=PLCJp1IfokN9Cy1Hi79LSGAykCKfRDM_y9 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored by: Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? #comedypodcasts #comedians #podcastshow #comedypodcasts Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Merch alert, merch alert, merch alert. Look out, just in time for summer. Well, almost halfway through. Either way, we got some hot new tees coming at you, gang. You got kippies king of the burbs. Oh, handyman services. Look at that. We got Aunt Tootie's Department of Sanitation.

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Limited supplies. Get a one day list. We love yous. Love yous. Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.

Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is R U Garbage. Amen. It's that little show we sit there with your favorite comedians and we find that it's a good to be classy. Yeah. Just a big old piece of trash. I'm your host H. Hulley coming at you on a beautiful summer day We're out back here at Tooties in a new edition. She's in the backyard running through the sprinkler Toplin cool

Jugs out Mike Hose is coming at you from across the table. He is the CEO of RU garbage He is an international businessman and thank God my best pal in the whole wide world and I love him Give it up for KJ Kevin James Ryan everybody. What up gang? Shout out to you as always. Thanks for tuning in Please make sure you rate you subscribe on iTunes full video available on YouTube also full video available over there on Spotify Nice little platform. They got where the boys are Cooking in the charts. Yes, we're doing well over there. Just got the reports. Everything is going well I got baby on the brain dude. I am a mush mouth over here

Uh go to the greatest website of all time Www.patreon.com so I show you garbage you go over there you get all that bonus content plus the back on the block door is coming up and tickets are moving second Show added in San Francisco low tickets in Boston I don't think we're adding second shows in a lot of these places due to the routing so get your tickets all day late Yes, sir and gang we're here for what we call a family episode just the boys the bozos and the homies But before we get to that let's stop by the old corner office over there and say hey to our good pal Mr. Luke Dempsey Hey, you guys doing just happy to be here. There he is. Look at him. He's got a nice little corner over there

All set up little nepo baby in the corner there. He's keeping one eye on the Asian markets and one eye on the podcast What's Bitcoin at right now? Now if I'm not wrong, is that you in JFK? I see It's actually my grandfather This guy's doing well The Dempsey Group, look at you, you're doing well for yourself This guy does all, I don't, listen, all jokes aside, Luke's got a corner now and I didn't sign, that looks expensive We got custom Dempsey Group signs made, how much does this cost to me? You can't see the desk, it's crazy

He's got a mahogany desk, that's's nicer than any desk that's like a banker's desk like Sant Adams over there I love how we spent 800 bucks on something that's not on camera him and Ryan we gave Ryan Ryan's got a credit card and that's bad news Luke lives a charmed life kid kid does all right he works hard group moves steps into dog or horse steps in his shit this game. Born rich, gonna be rich. Gonna die rich. My kids are gonna be rich. But that's neither here nor there, gang. We're here for a nice theme

episode. Fun time today. Yes. Talking about cars. You don't say. Trashy cars. Well, this all yes, this all stem because someone at the table, you know know is in the market for a car I hear that's true. This is very much. This is a very ageful You know, this is a toe in the Foleyville. I don't know what to do. I'm thinking Rolls Royce Something you try to be a man of the I mentioned an Audi I know I'm kidding by the way I should tell you I got about five days before the lease is up and I got to

turn this car in. So I got to make a move and the guy says he's going on vacation. I think they're screwing me trying to get me another lease. Sure. Jamming me up. You want me to buy... I don't want... Listen, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no You're a hack. Listen, you always say, I'm to say this. I'm not saying this.

I'm saying look at things a little differently. It is very you to go, I want something nicer than what you currently have. Except shirts for some reason. You haven't done that about clothes, but with everything else. Yeah. I got to make a decision. You've been a Jeep man since Jeep man all the way through we were maximas in the 90s

When they were hot your mom was a maximum Ba hair and Jennifer love you it man. It hit me one day I guess I don't find out what year was she in Buffy No, that was Sarah Michelle she was a party of five part. Well, if I know what your party of five was late 90s Yeah, I guess I wasn't maybe fully sexually turned on like my you know, and then I and I guess I just missed her was all goldfish and dinner rolls But uh, I saw a picture of her one time when I was in something when I was like 15 and I went who the most beautiful girl in the whole wide world beautiful. Nines. 1994. Yeah, 94. I was eight.

Way to keep it classy. I mean, I'm talking Jennifer Connelly too. Man. Yeah, I was old I just I was like younger. She was old it didn't But this is I mean this is getting sultry real quick her and be Arthur Yeah, no be Arthur golden girls. Yeah, I always had a thing for her as graduated together, didn't you? Anyway, that's neither here nor there. We're talking about cars talking about vehicles trashy trashy vehicles And I've had a lot of them Uh-huh all right, so if I want to get a jeep. I should be able to get a jeep No, I'm saying you can't get a jeep my mom wants me to buy the lease that I have now Why that's not a bad idea what the fucking fuel pump went at 15,000 miles and the dash don't work

What you mean the dash don't work it fritz is out It's like a Russian space show Even the dash don't work. It's it fritz is out It's like a Russian space show Fucking get me up there fuck take the guys in Apollo 13 There's a bunch of guys in a room. They dump out stuff in a box We need to fit this into this with this material and I keep catching Armageddon like the last 45 minutes It's like the past week every day. I've been catching it man. That's a busy week You just you're just yelling at me. I don't know what I did all week. I caught

Armageddon four times. And passive viewing. It's on in the gym. Is that good? Is that what you call your kitchen? Listen, why don't you say you don't want to buy that? Well, they get I don't listen. I'm not we were never lease people. We were buy used car people. That's who we are. My mom didn't have a new car until, I mean, this show was probably on the air

when she got her first new car. Always lease people. And I know it's not the right way to go. I don't know. I mean, Luke, get some, I'm sure we've done this, but what is better, to lease or to buy? I think it's all use. It's probably, you know, how many miles you plan

on putting it on. I think it's if you're a dirt bag or not. No, I don't think so. Because I think if you're like a sales guy where like Phil X, he's in the car all the time doing sales. So it's like, yeah, I'm not buying a car to beat the shit. I'll buy a car, beat the shit. I'll lease a car, put on the miles, and turn it in.

Can I say this? You know what sucks? One thing about the time that we live in. What? As we're adult men now. You know what I mean? My god damn father. That's right, you are. Congratulations. Thank you. And you know, I was thinking the other day... I gotta think safety. I think safety when I think cars. I need safety. Volvo.

Volvo. That's what you need. That was... Volvo was such financially well but conservative, sound, smart, this... The Volvo wagon. I remember when I found out how much they were and I'm like you know you get a Mercedes for that price yeah but you get in them and they're very rigid I don't know if I've ever been in my buddy's mom had yeah my buddy's mom had one hot no okay fair enough he was all right fuck what was I gonna say god damn it Kevin buying the lease buying the lease give you a price break if everything is broken on it now this guy's banging me out And he's making it sound like that he's doing me a favor. He's like hurry up with this cuz I'm doing some I'm waving I got Armageddon's on I'm waving some refund or something like that. They go on vacation

There's always but I get to pull in and pull out no money down. He wanted to charge me 1500 I was like spread spread that over to LeaseBuddy. You know what I'm talking about? I'm not going into giving you $1,500 with my mother's hard-earned money. I had to do that with the key I had to put down. I think like $1,000 or something. Listen, it's a goddamn miracle that I didn't need my mother to fucking co-sign the car. Let's start there. I mean you walked in two days ago or something bragging like I got a you just got a house You got approved for a fucking Jeep with a bad fuel pump and a wire harness. What are you talking about?

What I was gonna say, uh-huh. I wish that we lived your wish I wish that we lived in the time where that our dads lived my uncle Mike company car Sure, I think they still do that. I don't think so. Yeah, they're all you get like we should do My Uncle Mike company car. Sure. Every couple of years. I don't think so. Yeah, they're all you get like, we should do. We should all get the same car. They're all doing like black Ford Focuses or Ford Tars.

That's what they do. No, Impalas. We should all get Impalas. I don't think they're still making Impalas. No? I don't think so. I mean, they made them and then it's like, what was your Uncle Mike had an Impala?

No, he always got a nice new Cutlass with wire wheels smoke the hell out of that the hell is he a pimp that cutlass with fucking 100 spokes it's crazy that was popular was he tipping on foe foes we had wire wheels for a little while whoa and a Pontiac wire wheels and white walls I used to used to go out and scrub the white My dad was racing for pink slip my loom my original loom had white hubcaps 96 white Chevy Lumen a white hubcaps which man is a tough look when one of those goes Did it was a what they got so dirty It was a white hubcap and then had what not a white wall, but a white thin Nothing, but probably like a half an inch like a small white wall around the whole thing and that got dirty

I'm not good with white stuff. You got to scrub them I know I'd go out there and scrub but then you'd armor all the tires that would leak into the white It was all we had a whole system in the 80s my cousin Joe my cousin Patrick They always had you know cool cars and it was always they sent us out there cool cars You know they had like a nice Pontiac one of them had a trans am And when they'd babysit the first thing we had to do was go out there take a Brillo pad clean No, do the white walls. Yeah, that's the first thing we did Then they'd roll the keg in the back with all the boys a couple of broads

We'd start serving beers and then about 45 minutes into that they'd make me my brother in the back with all the boys, a couple of broads. We'd start serving beers. And then about 45 minutes into that, they'd make me and my brother fight with our shirts off in a circle in the living room. It's hot. These guys still banging? It's a good time, man. First time I saw Delirious. Uh-huh.

Eddie Murphy. And it's funny, because I had like 103... This is the coolest party in the world. First time I got my first blowjob, too Shut up the Coughlin high school was popping in the 80s. Wow. Okay. Yeah, that's quite the show We were net we were never a cool car family still, you know Yeah, never my dad had joy. We said my dad had Jeeps, but never we just bought used cars First car I remember was a woody with red tint. I guess my Woody.

I had like a wood. What, you like love? Who's Mike Love? He's one of the Beach Boys. Man, you're. Shout out to Brian Wilson, by the way. Thanks for wearing the shirt in respect. Uh.

I was really sad when he died because I love him for everything that he went through, and then like two days before he died I didn't know he was sick I was listening to God Only Knows and there's one little part in the bridge in the beginning and I was like trashing it in my head and then he died and I felt really bad because it is the most perfect song ever written. Great. So Woody huh? Jesus Christ. What are you talking about Woody? Station wagon? No, it was a van. The Plymouth Voyager.

It was a maroon one with the wood and I feel like it had... What are you, a Korean dry cleaner? It was Denise's. I guess they were still together when she had that, but then that was the car and the divorce. Man, that's bad if you're splitting up the Woody. Did they have to split that up? Uh, no. I don't know what my, I guess my dad probably, my dad had a Jeep, my whole jeep. Yeah, he gave her the car. Yeah, she kept that. Car to house and your ugly mug. Lucky her.

Eating her at a house and home. Sure. Um, but then it was that, yeah, it was always just used, used cars. That's trashy. Yeah. We tried to, you gotta fake it till you make it a little bit. My dad would drop a lease two seconds if he didn't like it. Take it right back.

You know, he had a Mustang for a little while. So they took it. Huh? So they took it. No. OK. What the fuck is wrong with you? They did take it. No shit. Widener University took it. It's the saddest day of his life. Widener took it? Yeah, because he had to sell it to pay that tuition. Okay. He always wanted to redo it, get it all fixed up.

That was good. The guy's like, listen, your dad's a great guy, but he don't have, he don't have any redoing Mustang in a driveway vibes. The guy he sold it to would come and- Yeah, you were saying and yeah, yeah Yeah All right. Well, so do what do you think? I would like to the listener of the listeners and viewers out there. What should the big man buy? You're saying Audi have you thought about an Audi? Listen, I'm not saying I like that and this isn't like a flex or a face throw I just decided I don't know anything. I just assumed an Audi and a Jeep would be around the same price.

I mean, it's 20, 25. What's that? I don't know what that I mean. I don't know the car market. You get I think the ones I really didn't get anything. No, but anybody like people driving be like, yeah, I would argue. I don't think I don't know if it's financially responsible. I don't know what they go for. I have no idea. What is like a nice SUV Audi go for?

The Q3 goes for five sixty a month for thirty six months. You need something bigger than a Q3. What's that? Is it like a Q? I don't know. Three is not big enough. I know they got an 86 and that's still a fucking car. You need something bigger than a Q3. Something comes with some onion rings. Q7 is going to get you for $679.

I don't think you're $679. What's that? What's that off the lot? How much? How much is that if you buy it? There you go. I don't think you're a 679 guy either. What's that off the lot? How much is it if you buy it? Oh, Q7? I think it's like starting around... What? 50 or 60.

Yeah, see it's the same thing as a Jeep. 60. You don't get a Wrangler. That'd be sweet. Get an old school Jeep. I'm gonna cut you out of that thing. Cut out the roll cage. Jaws of life. No, the standard Cherokee is only 36.

The standard Cherokee is 36. What? Standard. The souped up Cherokee 60, the 4XE. But the Cherokee Jeep Limited Cherokee, 2025. Tense. Spanners. Some 22s on it. The Limited, I think that's just the They're all LTD 40 40 grand

They look at an old-school car like what lumina I got one with a flat tire that's gotta go now Maybe go and get like something from the 70s or something like a Kramer car That's what I would have liked. What am I doing? I'm a dirt bag Yeah, I'm a nice car. I should be the guy on the side of the highway with the T-shirt hanging out of my window, and I'm nowhere to be found or you're dead. I just assumed those guys were all dead I site I always think they walk into the woods Kind of suck about knobs. Oh shout out to it baby. Yes, kitty. You like brushing your teeth I don't cuz I don't have a good product to use you don't have a good product and what's been like something over the last few years

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For a limited time our listeners get 10% off their first bidet order when you use the code garbage to check out That's 10% off your first bidet order at hello Tushy dot com with promo code garbage do it promo code garbage Anyway, yeah Yeah, gang this is a family and one of the theme family episodes that we've been doing that people seem to like This one's trashy cars So we had the good folks over there on patreon submit their questions or stories about their trashy cars This one's from Xavier $10 makes you holla Child of the 80s my dad used to always throw a giant subwoofer in any used car

We had growing up dude a subwoofer in any used car we had growing up. Dude, a subwoofer in the family car is tough. I've hung out with some dirtbags. I've never seen in the family car a set of subs. He goes, picture my mom picking me up in a 98 Ford Winstar jamming to ambitions as a rider by Tupac in 2002. Jesus. That's tough, dude.

That's a, dude. That's a tough look right there. Although I gotta give you a 98 Ford Winstar in 2002. Is that a van? Yeah, that dude. That's a Mini. That Ford's Winstar in the late 90s, early 2000s, and that Plymouth or Chrysler Town and Country.

That Town and Country. That was nice. That was the one that both, they had both side doors and some, they were like the first ones you press the button and it, mm. Maybe if you touch them the dad would be like, wait, though, it was automatic, you're gonna break it. Yeah, I got it.

Freak out on you. I don't wanna touch it, I got like an Uber driver. Yeah, freak out on you. Fucking relax, dude. Fucking bullshit. Goddamn Plymouth. I remember, I remember a lot of my boys are like their parents got them Because they had kids and it was like had it the mom had it Pat had it fucking my boy Derek had the town and country

my boy Champagne is always a good color for those the dark the dark purple or dark blue is good My my then stepdad's dad so my grand stepdad. What would that be called? My stepdad granddad? Ron. It was Frank. Some guy who doesn't like you. He did not. Last time he saw me, he called me my brother's name. Shout out to Dan. How you doing, Dan? I said, pretty good, Frank. Keep it moving. Um. It's your daughter? Ha ha ha ha ha. This guy, I said it did saw him. Um, he had, which I always thought was cool, he's an older guy, older construction worker.

He couldn't get up in the big truck anymore, the big F-150, the whatever. So he took one of those Plymouth, he bought like a purple used Plymouth town, or it might have been a Ford Winstar at that point, but whatever, like a pretty solid van and Took out all the just the two rows the two bench seats in the back So the back of the van was like an enclosed bed, but he didn't have to get up everything was low

Got you had both doors open up. We turned it into his work truck I thought you're gonna say that he slid the driver's seat back or something suicide You know what every dad loved when it hit the scene my my parents would never get like After-market sound system all they needed what that's in The question was that yeah, I mean this guy's she's playing with a different deck of cards I didn't peg Patty is a JBL kind of girl Bose different deck of cards. I didn't peg Patty as a JBL kind of girl. Bose. It's got the Bose system. In it? You were doing Bose stuff?

The Maximus, they all had Bose. Nissan had it. We were all Maxima. All the time. Always. Wow. Yeah. That's how we did it. Maxima. My, when I first met my stepdad, he had a big, big white Chevy

Suburban big with it still had like the diamond plate steps on like before they made You know draw is for horse carriages. Yeah, it was before they like Yeah, before they were like for passengers It was like they had the Huey and I remember the nine antennas on this thing It looked like the look like the fucking SS minnow those things always scared me They were like tin cans you ever see one of them all crumpled up I just think was like this thing had a weight 17,000 pounds. It was put me in it was 18 it was his big boy and

He had a it's probably still floating around my house cuz we know what they don't throw fucking anything away But he had a base like subwoofer in the back. He meets my mom, he's a young, single business. Your stepdad? Yeah. He had a subwoofer? He had a subwoofer, and we played country, we played bumping Garth Brooks and playing fucking Bill Ingvall, here's my sign.

And I remember jumping all the way in the back, it was all the way in the back of the suburbs, I climbed over, which seemed as a kid, 17 rows of seats. Sure, it was like we we in a school bus. Yeah, just killing me and Danny are fighting in like 15 different rows. He's flipping me over. We get to the back and it would blow out air and we would just sit there. Sit on it? Stick my wee-wee in the side of the thing. Riding the Sibian? I wouldn't know what a subwoofer was if it hit me in the face. I honestly, what the fuck does that do for mega base?

It's launched it's lost on me Sound listen, I would I can never I never had the cash for it My parents would never give me the money to put fucking subwoofers in my come on That's what was gonna get you late She hit the gym pork chop do a couple of pull-ups brush your teeth I could have I could have been driving a fucking formula one car to school Guys like potato chips Still striking out with the chicken the headgear She gets in the bases rattling it her teeth are falling out I

And she gets in the base is rattling it. Her teeth are falling out. I remember one kid in school, his dad did really well in real estate. Good kid. Nice kid. Nothing against him. But he got like a Mustang 5.0. And I remember junior year caught fire in the parking lot. Yeah, back of my head. Yeah. Fucking you're staying.

You're standing 50 feet away, smoking a stick with a gas can. I think that you're rich brick. You never know how these things happen. Real estate, huh? I forgot what I was gonna say. Yeah, a couple kids, I remember one kid's dad. I only knew how to make, no one I knew ever made money in the stock market. Then one kid's dad we heard made a bunch of money in pharmaceuticals.

And I remember going to my dad being like, we got to get into pharmaceuticals. This is when business was not going well. And I thought I was going to come home and like have you thought about making a lot of money in the stock market? You know, he was probably shut the **** if you would have gotten a Prozac or something like that early. I think the guy I think I remember Merck. They made it in Merck. Yeah. And a big down at Philly. I know a bunch of Merck

uh they can compounds **** like that with guards and all that stuff. Yeah. I got a couple. I digger compounds get like that with guards and all that stuff That's Fucking fiends down there be climbing the walls Everyone one of my buddies is like day of the dead All my buddies his kid brother worked at like a warehouse for one of those and man We had the fucking heist of the century planned never had the balls to pull it off antibiotics the ice to the century planned. Never had the balls to pull it off. Just antibiotics. Z packs as far as I can see.

I love a Z pack. Yeah, that's pretty good. I remember I bought, I added Pioneer 6x9s. I bought them at Best Buy. I got an out of the box special. They were 129 bucks. You put them in? Yeah. You put them in like the doors? Now they went under, like I put them in the trunk and they went, you know, inside the... Is this in the Lumina? This is my first loom.

But you couldn't see them because they were covered with the... Yeah? Like the mesh or whatever. Not the mesh, the felt. The shit in the back? Yeah, like on the back windshield, there was like that shelf back there. Where the dead bees go. Yeah.

And I put them up into there and I remember, fuck remember I remember being so mad and you couldn't see them I wanted people to fucking I got the JBLs. They were returned or something like that One's white one's blue good thing you can't see them. All right, this is from Chris up gang $20 D three football player. Love it. Shout out to you. When I was about 10, my brother who was about 12 bought a car from our neighborhood meth head. What?

He bought the car for 40 bucks. It had no driver's seat and he sat on a milk crate to drive it. The car caught fire while we were driving it down the highway. He pulled off to the side of the road and left it there. He was 12. The 90s were a different time.

That's nuts. 12 driving. That's crazy. Yeah. That's crazy. Dude, the early 90s? 12? I'm not saying it's right.

Holy shit. Dude, think about your... A meth head rolls up. Man, I remember some guy gave us his car in Village Chi. We'd always skate in this this townhouse. It was a huge townhouse complex surrounding a shopping center. I know your dog town and Z girls fucking days. I know you're talking about you the pool the bowl you skate around What? I don't think I've ever said any of that You're smoking wet. What are you doing? You and Heath Ledger running around? I don't think I've ever said any of that. You're smoking wet. What are you doing?

You and Heath Ledger running around. I don't know about it. Brody or Bodie. And this guy was like there was a sob, an old sob or something like real. I know, but real beat up piece. It like just had like the weather had removed the shine. And it was like, you know, the, had the dull metal spot on it. The guy's like, you go out this car,

it was right next to where we were skating. And we were like, okay. So he gave us the keys, not me. That was an insurance scam. We didn't drive, but he gave us the keys and we were just like for a weekend or maybe even a day. Playhouse? Yeah, we just sit in there and smoke cigs like for a weekend or maybe even a day. Playhouse?

Yeah, we just sit in there and smoke cigs in a parking lot. I'm the dad. Start choking to get out. I'm fucking making a move on Pat the mom. Yeah, it was just like very, and I'm like, they gave him to somebody and they were like, we got keys to a broken down sob. And I'm like, let's go fucking hang out in there for the weekend. Never moved it or anything, though.

That's shifty. This is from your pitch a man friend of mine bought truck nuts for his grandfather. The old man hung them from his rearview mirror. Truck nuts. Yeah. I guess it would be funnier if you knew what truck nuts were. Yeah. They're for your hitch in the back. Not like the bolts. No, like they look like testicles. Yeah.

Yeah. So you put them on your hitch and it like sways. It's like a set of nuts for your truck. But they're like this big in metal. He had them hanging from his face to his rear view mirror. That's I mean, that's just not knowing. That's hilarious. What was big for us was the either the small Jordan, the small air Jordan hanging from the rearview mirror or the converse people would buy Baby sneakers baby sneakers and hang it there and that was like because Jordans were so hot that it was like a cool sure

We hung our tassel from graduation. I did that for a minute. That's like god damn Yeah, I think I did it cuz you're like I don't know and then I remember it was in my center console for like Way too long covered in loose tobacco from empty sig packs. You know what I mean and chick-fil-a sauce I'm a dry nugget man everybody knows that This is from on Lizl The worst was having a dad that owned a really nice crew cab Ford Powerstroke but insisted on driving the work truck everywhere instead getting dropped off at school looking

like you just left the job site is a tough look. That was big for us. What's the first what's the first one? Nice crew cab Ford Powerstroke like a big nice pickup truck. Like you know, one of the fucking the one of those like big country or open country with the two wheels in the back. You see one of those things. A dually. My neighborhood got a guy got laid to my neighbor, got a dual one of Mark three. Remember that Mark three was like a Vans Mark three.

Yeah, but I think his truck was a it was like a fucking custom sky blue. I mean, we were any power now was a dually though. It had the two wheel early. What are you just saying Brinkins? No, they did the interior Oh, yeah, I don't know but this was like custom paint job. It was his first car I remember being like I would tell people I'd go I'd go to school and be like my neighbors got a dually no big deal For telling I guess I don't got a mix and match subwoofer yeah that's tough we were also very because my dad I lived outside of the neighborhood for bus pickup to go to school when I was with my dad so I couldn't take the bus so he had to pick me up we'll say had to be at school you

know whatever as a young tyke eight o'clock mm-hmm he would go to work he working construction you know he's, as a young tyke, eight o'clock. He would go to work. He's working construction, you know, he's running a construction company. So he'd go to work at five, go do running around, but sometimes he'd show up in someone else's car, like I was so into, I was backed in at the whatever at the job or the all like, you're in a sidecar. I took Jimmy's keys. So I'm just in Jimmy's work van with like the shit on the dash, like the cups of coffee leaning forward, the stack of papers.

I got a dually at the house. It looks like we're about to go rob a bank or something. Whenever my dad would have to take us to school, he had a Navy car. It was a government car. And we weren't allowed to be in it. So we would have to like crouch down in the backseat. He took it very seriously. Not that serious that's all he's trying taking to work I know but he would stick us we did we'd have to crack I'm like who the fuck's

looking for you like the MPs are coming to get you goddamn Cold War going on they worry about fucking you taking me to school yeah that was always big too cuz like my dad's had work trucks for the employees and I would see them on Saturdays. You see fucking Frankie driving down the shore or whatever, and I'd go, buddy, you're out of your juris-frickin' diction. Unless you're doing a service call over there at Maury's Pier, you can get your ass back to the greater Philadelphia area.

Drive in a cement truck to Wildwood? Got an hour left on this thing. Maybe I'll get one of those cement truck. What about a tractor trailer? I'm gonna get a pickup. You're a pickup guy. Nah, you're a big power stroke pickup guy. Now, why not too light in the back?

Dangerous. What are you talking about? Plus? I'm not hauling nothing. You don't do drive anything now. Maybe a convertible. Miata. Really? No, I'm not completely. I'm going to get a convertible. Miata. Really? No.

I'm not completely... I'm going to take the easiest way out. Suicide. Out on Route 9. Walk into the woods, kill your family. Hang the t-shirt in the window of the Jeep. T-shirt's hung on me. I think you're a pickup guy. I'm not a

pickup guy. You don't know that. I was a pickup guy. Those pickups are nice. And we know what you'd like. They got those like F 150s. They got the big center console. I do like you get you get your whole for my snack. You get your whole big arm on air couple of sizzlies. Maybe your McDonald's big breakfast plate. Breakfast in bed. Yeah, I remember my brother got that. I remember when they changed the bottle of the F-150s to the more like what they are now. Nicer.

And my brother got a used one and he really started throwing on my truck. My truck. Guys with a truck don't call the car. The truck. They're not like, I left my truck. I go, my truck. So there I am. I'm in my truck. I pull up. I got the truck. It's cool. I would do it too. I got to drive a pickup in high school. My dad drove a pickup.

It was nice. Nice Nissan. I got to drive it on the weekends. I would I would like I would like a pickup if I could. I got I'd listen. This is this is gonna be a real man to get one of those. This might sound like is. You gotta be a real man to get one of those. This might sound nuts. Why don't you try hanging a picture or something like that in the house? I can't do that. Yeah.

Shagging is. Did you put your tools in there? No. Fork? I just got really big utensils. I got them strapped up on the racks. One of those pizza things. This is also, I'm realizing now, buying the Lumina might not have been the best logical decision when buying a second car now that I have a family.

I bought it, I didn't have a kid. Sure. Now I have a kid. I can't really- You don't use it. I'm going to need a second car. Why? When I'm coming to, like, we're staying in the burbs. Oh, because she's got to have something.

She's got to have a car in case of an emergency. And you're not going to leave her in the Lumina. What? Man, talk about welcome to America. I welcome to America 1995 in your car stinks. Wait, so you're going to start driving that up here? I can't drive the loom up. I can't take the loom into the city.

That's... No way. I don't think it would last on the highway. It can't last. You're getting oil every time you get gas? I know, which by the way, 90% of the submissions were I had to get oil every time I got gas. Every time, man. So I don't know, I was thinking about buying,

I gotta get this off my hands, but I don't wanna get it off my, I don't know what I'm gonna do. Maybe I'll buy the loom off you. It's not practical, man. We just said he can't drive it. I always make you an offer. You make me an offer. You make me an offer. I don't want to sell it. How did we end up here? You're trying to buy a car I don't want to sell and I got to sell it to you?

I'll give you a grand for it. No. $1200. No. You're not even close. $13,800. Can Iellot to you? I'll give you a grand for it. No. 1200. No, you're not even close. 800. Can I lease it off you? 1,500,000. 640 a month.

You're banging me out, tagging title. Listen, you got five days. I got to get this rebate in, so you got to sign. Sign and drive a Kipi sign and drive event. I'm a sucker. I was thinking about just buying like a U. I got to get an I can't get another car These ensure. I'm listening you want to hear something stupid. I'm still paying

For the insurance on the key. Why because I couldn't find the plates. I didn't know you had to turn them in Wait don't you take the plates with you? What don't I'm not gonna be able to take my plates and put it on it on a new car I know you got a Pennsylvania car. Don't you know I got New York. Oh, I don't know fuck God damn it. I owned my car though. You're leasing it. That's their problem. They do that I don't want to have to get the license plate again. Why you take the car with the license plate You know to do anything you sure yeah, I think I take my license plates with me Listen man. I don't know it doesn't matter

There's no not gonna make we you don't have to go make the license plate or something They're gonna hand you or mail you license plates. There's no like The license plate the license plate is yours nice. Yeah, hang it in my garage Next to my truck But mine I had to return them and I lost them They were in here oh truck. But mine, I had to return them and I lost them. Who the fuck loses license? They were in here. Oh, I know where they are.

No, I find. I they're hanging on my wall in my garage. I finally returned them. Hmm. Because you can't I thought I could just cancel the insurance, but they're like, no, I've been paying that for a year. Wait, you have to turn the license plates in before you can cancel the insurance? Yeah, you have to get a letter from the state. New York's wonky. Listen, I never did this stuff. Yeah, brutal. I had to get a letter. I had to mail them in. They had to mail me a receipt,

and then I have to give that receipt to the insurance company. But I want to buy like an old Civic or something, not old. Civic? Something reliable. I can boot scoot and boogie. This, I got to tell you, you know, the Lumina jammed me up. That was a bad call. Looking back, bad call. Yeah, I'm fucking taking car advice from you, you idiot. Yeah, don't do that. You just wanted to buy the Lumina, actually. What are you talking about? Two grand.

1300. Interesting trades considered. Would you go for some? How about that beach boy shirt you got on? That 2K and Sam on a surfboard? This was worn on the Kokomo video. John Stamos wore this on full house. Mm-hmm.

And happy days. All right, let's see here. This one's from Foley's Weird Looking Mole. Okay, $10 homie never had one. I take your pick. I gotta get my eyes done. I got little skin tags on my eyes. Gang, the show is sponsored by Liquid IV. Sing it from the rafters, Big Doe. I think you're gonna get my eyes done. I got little skin tags on my eyes

Gang the show is sponsored by liquid IV sing it from the rafters big show is sponsored by liquid IV I'll tell you what I do for free. Uh-huh cuz that's some good good stuff over there Listen summertime working out you're losing a lot of electrolytes down at that beach showing that body off You go girl Replenish those electrolytes of liquid IV. Listen, it's taking over the market. I'd love to know what the market share is because they're killing it. They're doing well. It's great. Especially now they got that Arctic raspberry flavor coming in hot. They better send us one of those. Visit liquidiv.com. Use the code garbage for 20% off your first order. Guys, listen, we've been saying it for years. We got it. It's we got it coming out the

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liquidiv.com and get 20% off your first order with the code garbage at checkout. That's 20% off your first order with the code garbage at LiquidIV.com. Do it. Back to the show. Back to the show. This episode is brought to you by Dazon.

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Nice. That's a nice, that 2000 Grand Dam Grand Prix error. Was that the new body one that had to be, right? Maybe it was right after that. Probably still smell like the chick too. But for 300, that can't be, let me see 2000 maybe they work something out grand-dam 2000 yeah, they say him yeah, that's the new body style. I love those cars

Yeah, do they drop those in black oh I picture that with a like a pink bandana hanging on the yeah smells real good in there that's still kind of the old one actually they had a little bit newer my buddy had I've won I remember I was trying to save up I was working at like fucking wings to go or Giuseppe's I was gonna save up there was this like lie that I was told that like my dad would help me pay for half a car right meanwhile there was like no money ever and it like there's like things are bad, and he's like yeah. Yeah, I'll give you half So whatever you get I'll match it. He's trying to get you fired from work

I caught him stealing the fat one is stealing dinner rolls by the case It was under the guise of I'll match you with half or something like that. So I'm like 14. I'm like I'm gonna fucking work these next two years, save up 8 grand. That's 16 thousand dollars I get a car or something like that. First of all, I came nowhere near 8 grand. Nowhere near 8 grand. You owed four hundred

Remember keeping my money in an old apple juice bottle I would hold up my 20s so I couldn't get it You know what I mean? I would feel that little bit I would fold them up like you were tipping a stripper with it like long and thin and then stuff them in there But then I couldn't get them out really Then stuff them in there, but then I couldn't get them out really But then you had to do that and you're like, you know, that was at least the prevention no problem Do you mean that some drugs sure I wasn't I wasn't a you know, I was I wasn't into the narcotics sure I saved up. I don't know maybe

700 bucks. Look at you. Busting tables. There you go. I was a nice huffy. I wanted and then I wanted this Grand Prix and I thought I'd be able to fucking. Bullshit your dad. Yeah. Meanwhile, he just took the 700 from you. Probably.

But then my buddy got the exact. I never I get it now. But when people got brand new cars, kids got brand. I get it now but when people got brand new cars kids got brand I get it's crazy listen if you're like a lawyer or like you know you could get a brand new I don't know Toyota Corolla for fucking a hundred dollar for your daughter she's safe the broad always got nicer cars than the boy the boys got kind of whatever they hand me down or you know we'll buy you a fucking $2,000 car or something like that. Real quick, you know what's underrated that was always fun? Driving your high school girlfriend's parents car.

Every once in a while. When did you get your hands on that? Like if like, you know, she... Henry's drunk in the back. Like if she was driving... Oh, she took her car and you're like, let me drive. She up on a dashboard that was nice yeah it's nice you've got his glasses on smoking his cigar their prescription I can't see a thing I'm a method actor but people who got I remember like you need to go. I remember wrapping my head around things weren't great financially at the time for you know the household and I remember just being like my mom's never had a new car How do you have it like how much money you guys have left? And now I know a new car isn't the most expensive you can there's affordable new cars We get to drive the nice cars on the weekends, you know get to take my mom's car out of my dad's truck or whatever other than that

Spectrum baby all the girls got accuracy. I was like who the fuck Millionaires this is fucking nuts my mom's got I got a Chevy bravada the nicest car I can get my hands on is a fucking Chevy bravada that fucking stutters when you turn right too hard. Yeah. But you're glad there's people like that out there in the world. Yeah, of course. You don't want these hot broads riding around in fucking shit boxes. There you go.

All right. Let's see here. This is from Blake Dutz. In high school, I used to live next door to a real tugboat. It's a deep cut. Someone got her car mixed up with my mom's car and keyed her entire car. Saying fuck you bitch slut and keyed circles and scratches all over the car. My mom was too embarrassed to drive it so she made me run all of her errands until we could get it into the shop. That's bad.

He's a dirty little boy huh? He's up there showing everybody. man she was a bad girl huh that sounds like that's there's no driveway involved in that situation you don't miss the driveway that is a that is a townhouse or townhouse community where everybody's co-mingled in uh-huh she slept with somebody's boyfriend from some other school, probably Catholic. That's funny. This one's from B Smitty. $10 Bozo, never had one red. My first car was the car that my parents drove me home from the hospital and after I was born, a 98 Honda Accord. Ended up selling it for parts for a jihad. That's not a bad return on investment.

Selling it for parts. Well you gotta think, I mean this kid was born in at least 99. Wow that's crazy. So he's like your age, what year were you born? 97. Yeah so he's like your age. I mean that would be the equivalent of me being 16 in what year? 2000? 2002 I was 16. That's like me getting a 1986 in 2002. There's a big jump of technology between 86 and 2002. Huge. We drove a Ford Matador for the beginning of my life. Remember I cried when we left it at the dealership. It was my grandmother's.

Yeah. I'm a little fucked up. Man, this guy. Alright, let's see here. This one's from Garbage Aficionado. $10 Long Island garbage enjoyer here never had one red. I had a 1993 Pontiac Bonneville. That thing is a boat. They came in two or three colors to a boat. The Bonneville the word always was falling off.

Sure. Was always missing letters. Yeah. It's too long. That was the year I'm thinking to also the the the name Bonneville was imprinted into the fender. I don't know if you remember that. And there was like this thing that went around that like a rubber something.

They were real shitty. They were huge. I remember being in the first that it was like driving a fucking cruise ship Yeah, a ferry or something big they had those big windshields Was that a Pontiac Pontiac Pontiac's out of business right and they're still banging know the Aztec Right the yes, I mean that was in the early 2000s. No, I think I don't know Pontiac's gotta be dead gotta be yeah defunct No shit 14 years ago Get with that way to lay off the peyote. Will you big dog? And a layoff the antibiotics

I had a 1993 Pontiac Bonneville that my grandfather gave to me for a dollar Shout out to Gramps it had a sagging ceiling cloth, man. Yeah, it did. Leaking windshield, so it was smelly, and no AC in sight. One day, the bracket holding the turn signal switch crumbled in my hands and dangled next to the steering wheel for the entire time I kept it. About a week after I lost the blinker,

I drove my boys down to Jones Beach Theater to see Slipknot play. Toughest of looks, cruising down the Meadowbrook Parkway with a car full of sweaty dudes using bad hand signals to hit the left and the right with Slipknot playing on the cassette of phone jacks. Definitely riding dirty, too There was weed in that car bad weed in that car. Yeah, dude bumping slip Not hitting them with that we're making a right we drove back and forth to the shore in high school in like a fucking 1970 something Datsun piece of shit that had a garbage bag in the back window And we had a theory that the car only worked when we were smoking weed in there sure It was so fucking dangerous. Uh-huh like so danger. Yeah, I know I

I had I guess those seatbelts if I'm looking back the I had the worst car out of everybody My first car was the worst car out of everyone No one had a really nice car of like my boys the worst car out of everyone. No one had a really nice car of like my boys. Pat had like a newer Ford Taurus that I think he got from his grandmom or something. It's not bad. My boy Kramer had a GTI.

The Golf, the Volkswagen. Stick. My boy had a my boy had a Golf. Not a Golf, GTI. But that's the same. Is it? Yeah. It's like it might not be a Golf, but it's like GTI is a version of yeah, it looks exactly like a golf right yeah

Who are you Fred beans? Shut up, Beansie by the way fucking sniping from the corner off Golf GTI, okay Prove your point Luke Volkswagen my one buddy had a not aab. What's the other one? I don't know. Something more like Sweden. Alfa Romeo?

No. I wanted to buy one of them when I was looking at cars. Just because Seinfeld likes them. What are you, an English spy? They're kind of cheap though. Like they're not as expensive as you would think. Yeah, because if they break and they fall apart, you can't get parts. I know.

You can't get European parts. Is that still a thing though? I don't know can't be right scared the shit out of my family. Yeah, I remember that I remember this guy He worked for Whirlpool. Shout out Mr. B with Doug. He's the one that had the ceramic Dougie B was a listener for a long time I didn't think he's checked out a little bit fair enough. He did the big support us early on when we needed it. Um He had a he had a BMW and I remember going asking my dad I go why you know why you get a nice car let me break my dad got a break imagine man he fat

eight-year-old in the backseat eating fucking Rita's water rice with a pretzel braid going why don't you have a BMW why don't you get a nice car fucking rat and he goes you can't get them things fixed. And there was this thing in our town. It was an imported

It was just going to bring that up. It was a small little garage. They look different. They look nice. Served espressos, Nutella. And I remember we were drinking. My dad goes, you drive by that the same car has been sitting out front for 16 weeks. They can't get the parts

Yeah, I can't have I why working construction? I can't afford not to have a call waiting on shocks from Stockholm Jam me up. Uh-huh. It was always like a German engineer that was in there. I know I mean we never I never just looked better Yeah, this one was like real boutiquey. You know what I mean? Not coffee out of like the nope ain't got powdered dairy D. D. No powdered milk There's subwoofers match there I just want some James. Hey bozos first time long time. My first car was also a Chevy Lumen in 96 and white How you doing? Shout out to you respect it. I bought the car from a guy in the paper. That's old-school

Very you just had to go see a car. Parked on the lawn. No real, yeah, parked on the lawn. No real pictures. Just had to go see it. Roll the dice. Get in a car and drive two towns over. Take a look at it, walk around.

He's coming out. He's got meatloaf in his mouth. He smells like inside the house. Fat wife sitting on the porch Is that a camera what are you talking about? Let's see I bought the car from a guy in a paper turns out the reason he was selling it because it was his Fathers who passed away in the car fuck that the father croaked in the car while smoking a cig Fuck the city burned a hole through the seat, and I got a great deal on the car.

Love you. At least he told you. Yeah, I wouldn't say shit. No, I would say the cigarette lighter dropped when I was smoking a cigar because I was celebrating how sweet this car's car. I said I got James Dean. Yeah, didn't they turn into a motorcycle that got someone to? Yeah, I turned up. Who would do that? about possessed fuck that no

I'd rather ride around in Annabelle What's Annabelle? That a plane or no, it's That's car. It's a doll from the conjuring. Oh that was possessed. Yeah You snip that if you want looking for Christine No, I wasn't well. It's an animal Christine was a scary movie that guy was a freak you know that movie you're a bit of a freaky Stephen King Let's see this one's from Charlie Brown great name doubt. It's really yours

crashed a car and my buddy owed me money. That's a, also that's not even a, do crash? Real quick, did you ever hit one of your friend's cars? You ever crack in one of your friend's cars? I did it on New Year's Eve. I smashed right into my buddy's rabbit. Trying to be a tough guy, pulled into the parking lot, it was all icy.

You're always trying to be a tough, cool guy. Yeah, smashed right into his car. Ruined the night Had no money to pay for it. Uh-huh. I probably I had my Chevy Lumina. What the fuck kind of wasn't a sob What's another car like that a sob? Can't remember my oh was this was it a Subaru XRI or something like that Subaru Mazda no a Subaru XRI or something like that Subaru Mazda no it was a Subaru but they had a cool it was after WRX Subaru WRX that was their racing rally car rich did our rich buddy got I don't think they were rich they were just spending money that he got one of them

you put their business out there I'm sorry about. He got I mean, so are we. He got one of those. And my boy, Pat, I had to tell you this, we were drinking at like Pat's ex-girlfriend, Pat's girlfriends at the time in high school. Her parents were gone. Sure. So everybody pulls into the driveway like you do. I'm with you. Stock the driveway. So now everybody's all people are leaving.

People are coming. It's whatever. I park in the street cuz I'm like I ain't dealing Understand I'm staying in the night. I think I think like someone she's like, yeah You can all get drunk here and stay here. Gotcha. You don't have to drink and drive so I'm staying there So I'm like, I'm not gonna park in the driveway I'm just parking in the street cuz I don't want to be the guy now. I got a movie I'm in the I'm in if I'm running a-pug table I want to stay at the table sure So Pat goes Hey, yeah, I someone's got to get out he borrows my buddies the WRX is keys

To back out so someone else can get out mm-hmm he backs out of the driveway smashes my lumina Allegedly Pat I don't know if he ever admitted this Smashes in nothing you want did one time drunk smashes into the loom Doesn't say anything my man Comes back. I didn't hit run pulls the car back in the driveway whoever left left Comes in we have the night as it goes my buddy Lee gets in his car drives home Comes in, we have the night as it goes. My buddy Lee gets in his car, drives home.

It's night, it's a black car, he doesn't realize until the next day, some day he's going to get like, you know, whatever. Bagels. Going to get bagels. He realized his car's all fucked up with white paint. I wake up in the morning, I walk out to my car, fucking, you know, I got half a heart on,

I got, you know, I got syrup in my hands. And I, my car's been hit by a black car and I pick up the tail light from the car that hit me I'm thinking it's a hit and run which it technically is but I didn't know I knew all the fucking it's like a murder mystery feel like I'm on the fucking only murders in the building so like I pull up to school on Monday. I go, oh, fuck it. I don't care. A little touch off pain. Mine's not that bad.

You know, my mirror. Whatever. I don't care. I got a piece of shit car. I pull up Monday to school next to my boy. I go, yo. And he's him and his him and a couple other boys are looking at the car. And he goes, how many fucking hit my car? I hasn't involved in a hit and run.

I said, so was I. Because, yes, some white car smashed my car. I hasn't involved in a hit and run. I said, so was I. Because yeah, some white car smashed my car. Probably the same dude. I said, so black car smashed my car. And he goes, Yeah, I go, hold on. Is this your tail light? And it was his fucking tail light. Pat denied it for years. Love that years. And I'm like, you're telling me someone crashing to his car got it you know and hey I respect the lies it's crazy world but now to bring that up I was never a fix my car kind of guy sure I was never taken to the body shop sure

when it come to when it came to your car so I didn't I don't really know you as a car guy no you recently got into the Jeeps but the whole time I knew you you didn't have a car what do you mean got into the jeeps, but the whole time. I knew you you didn't have a car What do you mean like like my high school car like yeah if something were to have my parents your height like your call I'm saying what you aren't doing what doing nothing if it was something that I had to get done to make it street legal Like get it get a headlight put in sure no I'm saying like cosmetic Are you fuck out of here now? I don't give a shit. Fuck that. Okay. I wouldn't even know where to go. I know it just seemed like such a- I think the people were like

I don't be seven hunnit and I went seven. What? Seven hundred dollars was so far away from what I had to be like you think I'm Gonna spend this on to make this piece of shit look better? Probably gonna kill myself in this thing in a couple of weeks. Get the fuck out of here. I'm gonna hang the t-shirt in here if you catch my drift. Cracked windshields, busted dead... No, what? I, well, a few times I fixed a cracked windshield. Look at you!

Later, just because I learned it was in your field of vision. Like SafeLite. Yeah, well, my stepdad was pretty handy with cars. He was boys with a... I had someone that could fix it, but I to give I had a I had to pay cash or my my stepdad would could inspect it your stepdad was making you pay for it oh yeah damn he would bill me he didn't give a fuck he go you still owe me 86 for the brakes in the road 86 parts and labor I'd be labor I'd be the breaks in the road. I go 86, dude. Parts and labor. I'd be working at ACME.

Working 12 hours ago. I made fucking 80 bucks this week. Take some bananas and shut up. That's my heater money. Yeah, no, he would whack me. He would do the labor for free. All right, there you go. And then he would tell his boy, hey, here are the numbers.

And then they would print the fucking stickers for my dad came to me for money Get the fuck out of here. He's not my dad. That's the thing. That's a fucking We're just two dudes living in the same house at this point. You know what I mean? Yeah, I'll get it to you He also bought the car for me 1200 there you go. There's a picture of me Buying the car the guy took I'm trying to find it. I wanted to I'm they I never told you that they lured me out of the house on a rainy Friday night. I don't surprise you to surprise me with a car.

Like your quinceanera. They told you know what they told me we're going to Applebee's on Street Road. They go we're going to go to Applebee's. Did you go to Applebee's? Fuck. Oh, maybe we did and I drove but when she Did you go to Applebee's? Fuck. Maybe we did. And I drove. But she goes, we got to meet Joe at the shop that we pull up.

Then he goes, walk up here. I kind of knew to fix when we parked at the used car dealership. You know what I mean? It was. Fuck's going on here. Talking to Eddie, what he's talking to Vance Eddie for. They signed you up for the army. What the fuck?

I thought I was getting a golf. I mean, I'm in dirty sweatpants and a dirty hoodie. Bad hat like just like I've seen you. Yeah. And they took a picture and then hung that on the wall of the where the guy the guy took pictures of every sale. They use car place. Well, you're a celebrity. I think John Travolta eating pizza.

No, every deal he closed, he took a picture of you, printed it out and put it on the wall. And some girl came and she goes, Kevin I know where you bought your car. Like a cool girl at school. Kevin I know where you bought your car. And your sweatpants. I clearly had semen on them. Yeah, it was tough. He bought me the car so I couldn't be really like

You when it's your stepdad you don't really have like a hey fuck you you have to love me kind of sure You know what I mean like I'm yours type deal. It's like this is a decision We've all decided to make work sure you know and he wanted his 80s I remember 86 50 and then he yelled at me to if if you change the brake pads When I tell you you wouldn't have to replace the rotors It doesn't fucks a rotor It's the thing that the brake pads exactly. Yeah Ain't getting fixed. I'll tell you that much. I'll put the wood shield wiper fluid in there

I feel like a real man. Sure, but it that did make you feel like oh, yeah that Clean out the ashtray. Let me take a look at this. Yeah, I poke around a real man. Sure. That's about it. That did make you feel like a man. Oh yeah, that and clean out the ashtray. Let me take a look at this, yeah. I'll poke around a little bit. And I remember my buddy was trying to sell me a car one time and we popped the hood and we were looking around, my stepdad was looking around and standing there acting like a man and he, I guess it's the sales, he goes, the ones you gotta stay on top of,

a lot of them you can see, they're clear, like the fluid levels. Yeah, you can change yourself or should change yourself and maintain. You can see like the windshield washer fluid oil oil. I guess you can't really freeze and all that other stuff like the clear one. Break fluid. Sure. The ones that you can see, you know, they're in a clear thing. Like you're supposed to track them. I went, that's pretty good. Did you take know your car?

Did I what? Take know your car. Take know my car. What the hell are you talking about? That was a class they offered in school. Not my school. No, we had to we had to take a class at the community college for like a couple of Saturdays to get fat idiots to get your insurance lowered. But that was more like make a left turn, right turn, how to drive safe. We did Duncan's. Duncan's's Duncan's driver's ed.

Any munchkins involved in this? I told you the guy took me. I told that guy we were just I was just running the guy's errands with him. I know it was norms. I took Norm's drivers like norms. Oh, I never did one of those. We would like pick up his dry cleaning and like drop it off at his mother's house. I remember being inside someone's house.

Hey, you're really killing it norm We turn one of those cars with the two wheels fuck that Never get one. I don't think he had two wheels. I think it was World War one I think it was just I think he had to break Never that dumbass thing on top trying to get laid Okay, can we go to another town where I've got a fucking rep to keep stop short and you're grabbing your balls Jerking myself At least this party to the backseat

Those are always the shittiest cars Lovers Lane Let's get through this one. Then we gotta wrap it up. All right. I crashed a car. A buddy owed me money. Took his 98 Range Rover. Not bad. What? Wait, he took his 98 Range Rover. Uh huh. Wait, his but I crashed the car. Uh huh. Your buddy owed you his buddy owed him money. Steady gave him a car.

I guess he was like, hey, I need my I crashed my car. I need money. Right. I guess he didn't have it Came so he took his 98 range. Well that means you got at home Who the fuck are these people? The Halliburton's that's nuts a Range Rover How'd I think those drop drastically in Value if they're like ten years old. I mean, I don't know what year this was. Never been in one.

Either I've been in a Land Rover. Look at you. My boy's mom had a really old one. Like it feels like you were in a safari. You were sitting way too high. Yeah, I borrowed it for the weekend. I feel like you were filming a video for Minute Work or something. Yeah, it just didn't.

I took it down the shore. I needed a car. He's like, you can take my mom's Land Rover. I was like, I this is how uncultured I was. I didn't know that it was- Is that the wheel was on the other side? I didn't know they were nice car. Like I didn't know the brand was a reputable.

I never, no one I knew had a fucking Land Rover. What? I'd heard of Range Rover. America. But you know, from like rap songs and shit But I took it down the shore. It was the first week And then they didn't came to visit me and we took that down the shore Because I was gonna have to rent a car and I don't have in somebody else's car

I drove my boy's mom's car what the fuck down the shore for the weekend man now look at you father I car. What the fuck down the shore for the weekend. Man, now look at you. And uh, father, uh, I parked out front. My uncle, I was staying at my uncle's house. I was staying at my cousin's. This is how bad I was staying. I borrowed my buddy's mom's car to get down the shore to stay at my cousin's house because they were out of town for the weekend. The big guy's house, the big nice house. Big nice house on the bay. Sure. NFL player. Nice property. You got a Land Rover out front.

And my uncle went, whose Land Rover's outside? I didn't know. I went, oh, that's mine. He goes, and this is when it all hit me. You still owe your step that $86. He looked at me and twisted. He goes, who the fuck gave you a Land Rover? And I went, well, these are pretty nice cars. I take Queen England

All right took his 98 Range Rover damn thing tried to kill me multiple times Breaks went out three different times for three different reasons and each time my foot went to the floor And I had to pull the handbrake to not die. That's a scary feeling when you hit the floor and you're still cooking. Car locks itself apparently. They will never unlock unless you get a new key and matching computer. I just ripped the computer out and bypassed the key. In that process, I found you can literally pull one of the windows out to any 97-2000

Range Rover with your bare hands from the outside. It caught fire twice, ended up cleaning it up and selling it for 3 grand to some poor bastard. I literally ran away from the sale just in case the truck exploded and he wanted his money back. My man. Talk about paying it off to the next man. Getting out of Dodge baby. I love it. I respect this shit out of it

Well, we got to wrap it up gang. What a fun one gang. Yeah, we love you. See you next week. Peace