Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Trashy Inheritance w/ Kippy & Foley

Episode Date: March 20, 2023

Are You Garbage is back with a Kippy and Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. Its a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://linktr.ee/AreYouGarbage PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://www.bonfire.com/store/are-you-garbage/ This Show is sponsored by BetterHelp, Better Help: https://www.BetterHelp.com/GARBAGE Go Factor: https://go.factor75.com/Garbage130 Promo Code: Garbage130 Pretty Litter: https://www.prettylitter.com/garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

Tour Alert gang, second shows have been added to Austin, Connecticut, Vermont, and Tampa. Tickets are on sale. Get those tickets now. Yeah, baby. We're also coming to Oklahoma City, Dallas, Texas, Houston, Texas. Uh, Daniel Beach, Florida, Raleigh, North Carolina, just added Louisville, Kentucky. We got Cleveland, Ohio, and Columbus, Ohio. This is just the first like, get those tickets before they sell out. We'll see you out on the road. Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts,

Kevin Ryan and H Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcasts. This is Are You Garbage? It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that they grew up to be classy. Yeah. They're just a big old piece of trash. Garbage. I'm your host, H Foley, coming at you on a monumental day. Uh-huh. Down here at Amtoody's basement, construction is done. Completed. Addition is put on the back of the house. It's a big boy. And here's the good news. What's that? We're allowed to record up there. She's got to join all decked out for us. Nice carpet. It looks fantastic. Uh-huh. Next week, we're going to be coming at you from the new addition, baby. Uh-oh. That place looks expensive.

The boys are crawling out of the basement. Uh-huh. Finally, get you a little color, a little sun. I'm at sea level. I'm back to sea level, baby. You're down here like a mole. One of the subway people. I got the bends from being down here so much. Put you in the chamber. Next week, we're going to be coming at you from the brand new addition, out back at Tooties. Come by and see us. It's going to be a good fucking time. Yeah. My co-host is coming at you from across the table. He is the CEO of RU Garbage. He is an international businessman. He's Abraham Lincoln because he's leading us to the Promised Land. Oh, baby. They doubted you. Look at you now, kid. Who doubted me? What are you talking about? Is that what you

and T-Bone have been doing behind my back, you motherfuckers? Yeah, give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan, Mr. Ryan now. What's up, gang? Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you rate me if you subscribe on iTunes. Oh, yeah. Full video available on YouTube as you know those numbers are. True to real. Then obviously, yeah, now more than ever, the greatest gosh darn website of all time, www.patreon.com slash RU Garbage. Go over there. You get bonus episodes, AYG. You get the runaway hit of our feelings, baby. Yeah. Don't, don't, don't. A.K. the goddamn thunder, though. They get all the bonus videos we've done. We could do monthly vlogs of us on the road, the whole nine yards. Check it out. It's a good time, gang. It's a good time, gang. Come over and

hang out with us. And how about a nice quick shout out to our producer, short and air, to the magic man. Sure. Makes us all look good. Works the ones, works the twos, crosses the T's, and that's the eyes. T-Bone McScroffins, Toby McMullin, everybody. What's up dudes? Now's probably a good time to tell you about the class action lawsuit for all the black mold we've been giving people down here. Yeah, this place ain't up to code, by the way. There's a goddamn sump pump haven't worked in 10 years. Water heaters leaking. There's rats. I found a whole rant in my podcast. Shoes are wet down here. Yeah, this place smells. Yeah. I think I got the black lung box. Smells like mothballs walking around. Yeah. Um, how you boys doing? Pretty good buddy.

No, you freak out sometimes. You know what I've recently discovered that's very, very classy that just came into the Foley household. I'm listening. I don't know if you guys got cooking now over there. We've been using towels this whole time. Um, the automatic. Oh. Salt and pepper a grinder. That's. Whoa. Yeah. What's that set you back? Not too bad. Actually got no idea. The bird got it. I didn't even think about that. Can't be more than 20 bucks. How hard is grinding pepper? Not hard anymore. I can tell you that. It's easy with the touch of one button, dickhead. It's a press of a button. It's like turning a lamp on. Ah, that's not bad. You get a set, electric salt and pepper shaker, 20 bucks out the door. Heavy bike. Now a real classy question.

What kind of salt you got there? We don't use that Himalayan salt no more. It's no good for you. What are you talking about? It's all micro plastics. Most of it's rock candy. I got blueberry. Which I was a huge fan of as a kid. No. You like candy as a fat little guy running around Bluebell. You ever make your own rock candy? No, I'm not a fucking method. We thought who makes their own rock candy. Go to the store like a fucking gentleman. They don't sell it in a store, dude. Hillbilly shit. No. Rock candy. They sell it. No, they don't. That's real. You gotta find that in like a country store. You catch that on your way out of a cracker barrel or something. I've never been in a country store. I don't think and I've bought rock candy before. I have it

in jars. They used to have candy shops, corner store, bodegas. There's not one piece of rock candy in a bodega in New York City. That's Amish shit. Well, yeah. Well, I was joking about bodegas, but they have them at fucking candy stores and shit. Really? Yeah, I've bought it. It was hard to find when I was a kid. Do you know what I'm talking about? It looks like crystal. Am I a fucking asshole? Did we just turn into fucking kippies and asshole? I ain't talking about no Snickers, dickhead. Talking about artisanal rock candy. We've just been talking about rock candy for three minutes and now you're checking to see if I know what rock candy is. The only place I knew to get it was the Franklin Institute and I always made sure I had a couple of shekels on me when we

went down for the field trip. Yeah. That's the first thing I would do is go right to the gift shop, get my hands on some rock candy. Man. Why I'm walking through the big heart. Yeah. Checking out the planetarium or whatever it was. Yeah, I used to love it and we made it in school. Yeah, I remember you can make it. Put it on the stick or whatever. Put like a string and all that stuff. They tried to do it with salt. Fuck out of here with that. Yeah. Make with the sugar. I never liked making anything on my own. No. I told you that I had a babysitter try to make us make ice cream. Fucking kick rock. Oh, that was her last day. Hey, ma, she touched me. Get her out of here. I ain't fucking. You put like cream in an ice in a coffee can and rolled around. She's like, it'll be fun.

I was like, you know, it'll be fun. Trying to shellack me with a little butter bricol. Yeah. You know, it'll be fun. A fucking ice cream sandwich right now. Not waiting fucking eight to 10 hours to make my own. You dumb broad. I know the peace left you at 20 for some hockey dots. Yeah, fucking get Uber Eats on the phone. Get some surebie over here stat. I don't have time to make my own fucking dessert. But we don't fuck with the Himalayan salt no more. Okay. I think it's, it's kind of a bust. I don't know what's that. I mean, what promises is it making you? I think a lot of it is fake. It's not real Himalayan salt. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Some of it's Vietnamese. All right. Yeah, I don't know. I'm not even Himalayan. I don't even know enough about it.

The problem with the electric salt and pepper shakers, it's a slippery slope because now you got to get one of those big old wooden Parmesan cheese graders. You know, it was real trash is anytime you have like the huge utensils on the wall, like in the kitchen as decoration or something. Do you ever see those like a big wooden spoon that would be like this big and a fork on the wall? Can you use the star? We have those. No, no, it's decoration. Oh, like an ore. Like, oh, yeah, it's like the size of an ore. You know what I mean? It's like a broom. You're pulling spoons off the wall like swords. Yeah. Someone breaks it. This is an Atari Hanzu. I only stir my meat sauce. Now we never had that shit. We didn't have any. No, we didn't have it. I'm just saying,

I remember going to people's houses and being like, what the fuck? Yeah, we also did. I would always fake eat cereal with it. It's a good time. That's, that's a bit. We didn't, Patty didn't trust the government. The wooden, she didn't, we didn't have like the wooden spoon set on the counter. She was always metal. She didn't trust those for some reason. They were never out. That's, that's on the counter. That's a next generation thing. Like, you know, they have like the wooden, you know, the, like a wooden ladle. A wooden ladle. Yeah. Like a wooden spoon that you would like serve sauce with. That's different than a ladle. They have a ladle too though. It would be a set. That'd be like a pasta thing, a this, a that, a spatula. Never had that. She's like,

I'd get their dirty. They don't get clean. We had one for, we had one, one of a regular wooden looking spoon for sauce or whatever. Yeah. She didn't go for that. Well, we just had one and that thing turns dark and black and green. It got everything in it. Yeah. Now we were a metal fam for sure. He wasn't doing that old school shit. Fucking give me stainless steel. Colonial Williamsburg bullshit. Fucking out of your turn and butter. Got the wooden spoon with fucking Detroit steel. I'm fucking cast iron. I want a part of a Ford bumper. Get a little iron in the diet. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. We just picked that up, man. Things. All right. That's pretty good. Using a lot of pepper these days though. I'll tell you that. Yeah, it's like a heavy

bike. It's like getting a snow blower. I'll give you that. That's pretty fucking classy. Yeah. That's all right, man. Not bad. That's another one of those things in my head of like, that's awesome. I'll never own one of those. It was like a pizza cutter to me. That's 19 bucks on Amazon. I could have it. I could be fucking putting fresh salt and pepper on my eggies tomorrow morning. Dude, tell me, do yourself a favor. That's pretty all right. Clean living, baby. Oh, look at you. That was her idea now. No, it was my idea. Yeah. No, you're an idea man sometimes. No. She saw it somewhere. Showed up at the house. What the fuck is this? I thought it was a new vibrator. All right. Hey, we're gonna freaking know how you do it. I'm not around. You need to do them.

You ever see the at the restaurants where they have the giant wheel of cheese and they set it on fire and they mix up the pasta and the never been to it. But I've seen it on the Instagram there. It seems a little dirty to be honest with you. I could see that in your crib. You got a reclet wheel going like you're in a goddamn Swiss Alps. That seems a little janky to me to be honest with how do they clean that? They don't. We can't clean cheese. That's what I'm saying. We don't run it through the dishwasher. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, they don't. I wonder if they probably scrape a layer off or something like that. I mean, you've worked there and steel wall. It tastes like SOS pads.

Yeah, I'm not a big fan of that. Just put the fucking cheese on it in a bowl. Yeah, I don't like that. So I don't like all this Broadway shit. I don't like the theatrics. Give me a fucking piece of steak on a plane. Yeah. The salt big guy. I told you I went. The guy trying to, it's me and my wife in a fucking goddamn empty restaurant. This guy's feeding my wife like he's about to make a move on her. He's lucky I didn't fucking tune him up with a one two. Yeah, you told me. Get out of here with that fucking overpriced fucking bullshit. Putting gold on. They went sunglasses at night, you dickhead. Put a collared shirt on in the goddamn restaurant. Yeah, I want your fucking pubes in my fucking in my mashed potatoes here, buddy.

Don't fuck. Shave that mustache and lose the pony tail. Set us up with a couple of lobby cakes. Yeah, I don't go over that stuff. I was somewhere. I don't even trust the folk of the chow places. I don't really fucking want to. What's the real trashy, right? A folk of the chow has to be trashy. I mean, maybe you went down to Argentina went to like a proper one. Yeah. I mean, that's a big chain. Buffet is a buffet as far as I'm concerned. Yeah. They had one in Philly. I don't trust these fucking pillheads fucking cut and meat right in front of me. Sure. Some dirt ball wheeling the fucking going at you. What's up, Poly? Prick it a wheelbower or a fucking steak over to the table,

slicing it up. Yeah, I don't. Maybe it's good though. The buffet I never got and like, I mean, I think what do you mean the buffet, but it's just never ending. It's all you can eat. Yeah. Don't start talking shit about a buffet. They're fantastic. Listen, we get in this all the time and don't understand how you don't understand. I'm not saying they're not great, but buffets are trashy. Sure. They're great. I love a buffet. I'll fucking go down. I'll eat mashed potatoes. I'll do everything. I love a hot bar. I love it all. They're trash. Anywhere that's architecture is based on the ability for a rascal scooter to navigate it. There's no good flow of people is is is rough when you're fucking CC. If your restaurant has a cover charge, it's a tough look.

All right. CC's is a real tough look. That pizza joint. Yeah, I went it fucking sucked. I went at state college. It feels real weird walking through that line. Yeah. I'm gonna have eaten pizzas. Yeah. Then there's like a Nutella one at the end. Yeah, I had a cinnamon one. Cotton and I used to bang out rubies. The all you can eat Chinese buffet down there on Delaware Ave. I think it was that playing next to the Halloween store in Philly. That was a stripper store. It's cute. You'd call it a Halloween store. That was a Halloween store for about three weeks a year. It was right next to the other 49. It was a who's Delilah's, right? Right down the street from Daydream. No, showing tellings. They were all they're all down there. Yeah. All on the water. Yeah, there they are.

Easier to throw the bodies when you do the show and show and tell. No, it wasn't show and tell was Delilah's. It wasn't Delilah's. I'm positive it was Delilah's. I will bet you any amount of money was not Delilah's Delilah's is on was down by the movie theater. I thought we're warm daddies was. Yeah, that's not Delilah's. No, no, it was Club Rascade. Yes, that's what it was. Yeah. Oh, man, did a show in a strip club and you big come hang out. We had like done something like come hang out. I'm like, all right. I don't know. I didn't know how comedy works. I walked in. I'm like, I don't fucking strip club. Dude, you're picking up money off somebody. It was about three people there. I left and the one guy was getting a lap dance. I left before it started. Yeah,

it was a tough look. I'm not. I was about a fucking hour into comedy and I'm like, this this dude don't know what the fuck he's doing. He's talking a big game. He's talking a big game and the only guy in the audience has a boner right now. I'm leaving. Gang, it's a gosh darn family episode. As you know, when you sign up for Patreon, we will answer your question on the air. You choose. Shout out to Mr. Versey. We got a lot of people submit email, text, the whole line of knock on my door, got the questions. Patreon gets first crack at it because they're the goddamn homies. This one's from Michael Clark. Is it garbage have cans of paint and wood stains in a garage

or attic from the previous tenant? That's so funny, man. That's a every house we've ever bought had shit left over in it. Yeah, I've always every time I've left, I've left something. Yeah, I don't need that stain. What if they want to touch up the doors when I'm gone? Always leave. Never used it, but it's there for 30 years. Oh, yeah. The house we moved into Wilkesbury from mountaintop, there was toys downstairs in the basement. That ain't good. That ain't good. My mom hit them with like blowtorch, hopefully fucking nuked those. No, it's like pine saw. They went into the rotation. Yeah. And it was, it was an unfinished basement too. Looking back on it, it was weird. It's an

unfinished basement and there was a bunch of like, you know, like, like, like animal toy, like a gorilla and this and that in the corner. Probably where they kept the slow kid. Yeah, right. Fucking sloth down there. Chained up. Evil Bart Simpson down there. Fucking fucked up. That reminds me, we had a unfinished basement in the house for a long time. Then when then went to semi-finished and then I think when they got, it was getting finished and I don't know if we ran out of money or the divorce basement was done, then you'd peek around the corner like, Oh, what the fuck? Not even that. The whole thing was halfway done. The whole thing was never finished. Like the one wall, the one room was painted one color, another one, another color.

Oh no, we did have an office. They did the computer room first. Yeah, I've been in there. Yeah, that was a slot machine in there. There is a slot machine in there. Step right up, step right in, one in wins, any prize, any time. I'm going to give me a casino. The house never loses. Need your ID, gentlemen. It'll be three goldfish to enter. But then we had to, I remember, I want to say it had to be like a communion party. We finished it for the party and I remember even being then, I'm like, this seems not right that we're finishing a major project on the house. That's how shit gets done in order to have people come over. That's how, the only way shit got done at the Foley house is if somebody was

coming to fuck over. Having company. To keep up the fucking facade that we were a normal American happy family, which we were not. Crazy. We didn't have chairs for something. My dad moved around place to place a little bit. We didn't have chairs when we were having people over, so I remember we had to go by like furniture, actual to keep up appearances of that we're a working household of some sort. We were having people over for like a party when your parents come back from the weekend. Everything's sliding in the places they open the door. That's exactly what it was. You're like ripping plastic off a bar stool or something. Putting VHS's on your shelf to look like you're a learned doctor. Yeah, we got this about four

years ago. You're still setting up the TV. It's auto program. I remember I had to use the counter all the fucking time. Oh man, that technology blew me away. I didn't understand. I was like, ah, it's got to run through all of them, so it knows what's what. That's what I was telling myself. Yeah. That, and I remember that there was a time when, I don't know if it was like the technology of the gaming, if it was like a Sega or an N64 or whatever, but we would have to, we weren't able to- Flip it over in the back. No, we'd have to really, we'd have to hook it in and then unhook it if that makes sense. Like you couldn't watch TV with 64 set up in my room. You had to unhook, unscrew the fucking coax cable. Yeah, but then I remember some kids had it both, and I'm like,

they had a switcher. They're like, just flip to video or four. I'm like, you, what, god damn, fucking NASA technology. The Atari had a thing in the back that you had to, you had to flip over too. By the way, your dad- Atari was, bring him away, way, way before my time. Atari, that was our first system. Probably 19. That was the first system. 19. Be weird if you had something before that or the Foley's at the cutting edge of video game technology. Got a PlayStation in 1978. This is probably 82, 83, got an Atari, space invaders, pitfall, and something called Target, where it was different. You were tanks, but real bad tanks. Yeah, I assume. Yeah. And you, there was a couple different things to it.

Old man used to get out of there, rip some heaters and get on fucking space invaders at my brother. Really? Oh yeah. Your dad played. That was the last time Tucker, that was the first and last time Terry Foley ever played a video game was 1982. He had a fucking hot summer on space invaders. I'll give you that. Did real good too. I don't think my dad would even, he, I don't, there was one button. And he was probably when he, he was probably 23 or 24. Yeah. Fucking baby. My dad never touched a video game. My brother on the other hand, I had to lose to him on purpose because if I won, he'd hit me with a controller. Oh yeah. Like a style. I've broken some controllers in my day for sure. Oh, you pussy. What? I've never done that shit. Start freaking out, slamming

the controllers around. I wasn't that big into the video game. Yeah, that's why you didn't do it. It said, no, a video game and anybody, even if you're a casual player, it will bring out a frustration in you that's primitive. It's, it's, it's not, you're a nerd. It's fucking, it's just, it's losing its frustration. It's not being able to do it. It's fucking fail. It's, oh yeah, fucking do playing mad, do when Madden dropped on PS2. We were in, oh, PS2. We were in on, that shit started with Sega. Yeah. It was Madden 93 or 92 or whatever was the first one. We used to play them on Sega, play that, play the college one and fucking hockey was big. We did

get into that. Yeah. What am I talking about? We did play a lot of video games. We played the sports one. Yeah. I think it got hockey was great when they got the guys head open. When they got more realistic, I think is when the emotion really got fucking charged up in it. You know what I mean? When you're actually fucking running routes, you're not as little square guy with a helmet fucking hopping along the field. I'm a techmobile man. Just run the other way. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Uh-huh. Gang, we all got problems. Yep. I'm crazy as they come. Me too, baby. It's a good idea to talk to somebody. Sometimes you can't find the right person to talk to in your local area. Yes. So what you could do is go on BetterHelp, license therapists,

tons of different specialties. Yep. Privacy your own home, pink bag, boom. You're normal again. Yeah. I'm a client of BetterHelp. I think it's fantastic. I think talk therapy in general is fantastic. Everybody keeps everything bottled up. You got to talk to somebody. You got to get it out there, baby. You got to take that first little step to change. If you need to switch therapy and you can make the change at no additional charge, it's convenient, flexible and suited to your schedule, discover your potential with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash garbage today to get 10% off your first month. One more time, baby. That's 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp. H-E-L-P.com slash garbage. I'm going to write

it down. Take it. Take control of your life, baby. BetterHelp. H-E-L-P.com slash garbage. Do it. Factor, factor. Give me the news. I got a microwave for cooking. Okay. All right. Yeah. You like that, T-Bone? Doing a little factor promo here. Guys, I can't tell you enough how delicious, how nutritious the factor meals are. My only problem is I eat like two or three of them. They're so delicious. Eat 12 of them a day because I love them. They're fantastic. They're good, man. Tell them you're straight up. They're good. I get them delivered every Wednesday at a crib. I got the birds eating them. She's like, oh, order the chicken taco bowl for me. When you go in, you get to customize your order. Yeah, all right. I'm all of the past two weeks,

dude. I've been all heavy by chili and taco bowls. Kippies. Staying regular. I'll keep it at that. The hell you were going there. Guys, you save time with factor. America's number one ready to eat meal kit that's delivered straight to your door. Meals are fresh, never frozen, ready in just two minutes. I throw it on a pan for two seconds. You don't need none. That's classy, too. I usually put it in a microwave because it takes two minutes in a microwave and it's ready to go and it's evenly cooked. Man, it's on a pan. That's nice. I got the sauce. It keeps it, it keeps it moist. You don't have to use oil or nothing. That's pretty classy. You throw it on a plate, then you put it back on the factor box.

What? You throw it on the plate? I put it in. If it's a chili or something, I put it in the bowl. Toby, what do you do? Back in the box? Whoa. No. That's so trashy, dude. All right. We're going to talk about that. That's why I like microwaving them because it's all right there. Hold on. I got to get through this read and then I'm going to fist fight. If you're vegan, vegetarian, keto, or counting calories, Factor has a plan for you prepared by chefs and approved by dietitians. You'll find a plan you'll love. Head to factormeal.com slash garbage 50 and use code garbage 50 to get 50% off your first box. 50% they're giving it away. That's code garbage. That's code garbage 50 at factormeals.com slash garbage 50 to get 50%

off your first box. Nowhere. Save me some Tuscan meatballs. How did they fuck that up? What? Did you know that in Tecmo Bowl? You could run the other way and we'd keep going. I don't know. You could like just keep dropping back and dropping back and dropping back. I think, unless I was on truth. I might have been tripping bowls. I don't know. I was dropping acid and dropping acid and dropping acid and dropping acid and dropping backwards at Dan Marino. All right. Let's see here. This one's from Drew. $10 homie. Is it garbage to go on dates and play AYG using all the kippy and foley's jokes pretending that you created the game on your own in order to get laid? Worked a couple of times. Thanks, boys.

Shout out to you. Happy to help in any way I can. Someone's got to get there a little wiener, what? Oh my God. Hachi-machi? Oh my God. That's fun. Yeah. You say Hachi-machi? So what you're into? Do you like? What do you do for a living? That's funny. Yeah. That's why I do for a living. Have you ever... Still waiting for global distribution right now, but I think it's a million dollar idea. What? Oh, his game. He's got her back at his mom's house. He's like, I can give you 10% of the game for... Well, game I came up with. Are you garbage? Don't google it. It's a lot of fun. Some guys ripped me off. I didn't even respect that. Say we ripped you off. Like the McDonald's brothers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get a little sob story, man. Ray Croxus.

I respect it, though. Didn't the guy who invented the windshield wiper that happened to? What? What was the movie with... That's a movie? God damn, they'll make anything. It was with... So there it was. It was a monsoon. I couldn't see. It was a great caneer. Flash of Genius. It was the guy who invented something and got screwed over by the car companies. I could be wrong. Steering wheels. No, you're right. Flash of Genius. Robert Kearns takes on the Detroit automakers who he claims stole his idea for the intermittent windshield wiper. There you go. Before they would just wipe their hand. I've done that. Fucking leaning out, trying to get ice off. You know this movie sucks because

the description of it repeats the whole... It's about windshield wipers, man. I don't know if it sucks. Well, the second sentence is the first sentence again. It just literally says Robert Kearns takes on Detroit automakers who claims stole his idea for the intermittent windshield wiper. It was a nervous guy in the elevator pitch. What do you want? Great caneer. Don't make bad movies. You know what his best is? A little movie called The Matador with Pierce Bronson. Got a little couple, couple hours. Do yourself a favor. I promise you will love it. Brosnan. Brosnan. Yeah, you didn't say that right. What did I say? Brosnan. You said Pierce Bronson. Pierce Bronson.

Charles Pierce Bronson. I love him. Remington Steele he was back in the day. That would be my poor name. Remington Steele? Really? That would be a little dick guy. Step right up. Step right in. Bring Tiny over here, man. All right. Let's see here. Let's keep it going, Triak. This is from Jack. Ever left priority tags on your check bag to show off? And then in parentheses, it was a free upgrade. It's like keeping the lift ticket on your jacket. Fuck yeah, dude. I respect it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You gotta flex a little on these bows. That's all right. Show them what's what. Priority. Grab somebody's first class boarding

pass. Probably the same guy with the cards. Yeah. He's got everybody's stuff. He's fucking, he's pulling the wool over everybody's eyes. And I was, as an international businessman, I respect that. Dude, that's so funny. I like that. I like that it's worked a couple of times. What, can I get them late? Yeah. Yeah. Good for him. Hey, whatever works, works. Well, what the homies succeed. Let's go. Yeah. I mean, first dates are mostly questions. Yeah. No, for sure. I mean, people have said that they, they, they do it on first dates or on like, he pulls out battleship. You're not going to believe this. A six. Yeah. I think I'm going to call it clue. What do you think?

It's like monopoly, but the guy doesn't have a monocle. There's a great, shout out David Phillips. Great Chicago comic who had a joke. He goes, you guys are playing cold case. It's when you're too poor to afford all the pieces for clues. So you don't have enough to commit the crime and not solve it. Oh, that's a lot of fun. It's funny. I remember there was a couple of times that I was playing clue with my mom. We got like into it for like a week or something. I was probably seven or something. It was when like my brother would go out of the house and like I was like stuck. Like if they were doing something on like a Saturday night, going to like a friend's house with them all or whatever, I was stuck home. Yeah. And we played clue. I remember being like,

this is a fucking pretty gruesome game to be fucking playing with a seven year old. This is why I remember somebody, somebody getting murdered in a pool house with a lead pipe. Yeah. With a, with a monkey wrench. I mean, games are cartoons or something we can watch. The fuck lady. She always did love true crime. What were the weapons? The weapons were pretty handle stick, rope, revolver, rope. What the fuck? I know, dude. It's real gruesome. Revolver. All right. That's a gentleman. A gentleman's gun. A gentleman's gas. Lead pipe, rope, candlestick, knife, knife, wrench. You gotta really be pissed. Solzol. Chainsaw. Needle nose pliers. Cyanide for the low. Yeah.

Hot dose of heroin. What the fuck? What's going on? Like Sharon Stone at casino. Yeah. That's a, I was gruesome. We never played monopoly ever. Were you a monopoly household? I now thinking about, I think it's because we were, there was very highs and lows of money issues. So I think you want to rubbed in your face. Yeah. I think it was very like, uh, when the Foley's play, we were living monopoly when the Foley's play, everyone ends up in debt. We didn't really end up squatting in houses and stuff. We were more of a shoots and ladders family. That was like, it was too much. It was too much. A banker. Yeah. My dad was always, he would just all had 20s. It's fucking banging everybody.

Candy land. What are we Mensa? I used to love candy land. Fat little bit. I wanted to live there. Sit there and stare at the board. That was my speed life. I didn't like either. Seems too serious. I thought I was getting put in a pen. Give me life. Driving around that little car with a bunch of little rug rats in the back. Some dumb horror I knocked up. No, I gotta, hell, I'm stuck with her working a fucking shitty nine to five. Get the fuck out of here. Where's the, where's the card where I live it up with the boys? Oh, man. Go down to Tijuana for a bachelor party. Crash the car. Yeah, we didn't fuck with that shit. No, that was never that or chess.

We're a checkers family. Oh, checkers all day. Nobody was funny. I didn't meet somebody who could play chess until I was in my thirties. I swear to God. Yeah, no, we nobody I knew played fucking chess. There was a summer like maybe going into senior year. There might have been one in somebody's house, but that was for show. Yeah. No, I think flip dad knew and flip kind of like his grandfather taught. He knew some movements. He tried to teach him. I just know the one can move like two up and three. Oh, that's the only thing. Yeah. And I'll still say people go, you played chess. I got kind of, you know, I kind again. As long as I know there's not a board around. As long as there's not a board in a five

pussy. What? Yeah. We were checkers. Also, there's a, I'm sure I mentioned it, a very shitty version between checkers and chess. That's, it's a little, a stratigo. It's a little like gay, like a little, I remember that. It's for dorks. Well, me, me and me and Pac got into it one summer, like eighth grade or whatever. When you, you don't have a car. You can't really go anywhere. So you're just like jammed up for a couple hours at someone's house till someone's coming. Stratigo. The amount of times that board must have gotten flipped over between the two of you. Oh yeah. For sure. We had this game.

Uh, we had this game that we got from our cousins, our older cousins that I think it was left over from the seventies. It was a flat white board and you had these little metal balls that had little like red or blue, like rings around them. You had a rubber band and it went up and it bounced and you had to get it back the other way without going off the board. I don't know what it was called, but that was a good time till we started pegging each other with them. Sure. That was the same thing with Crossfire. When that fucking marketing dropped, Crossfire. Yeah. And you're shooting the fucking ball bearings and the little people are like fucking,

we started, me and Danny were winging those at each other, getting in fights in the fucking, in the dining room, fucking winging them. That was a good time. That was good. That board always sucked too. Like they'd all like settle in the middle because like the, it was like a piece of shitty like particle board, you know, like reaching get that hungry, hungry hippos. That was my speed. I loved hungry, hungry hippo board game where you eat. No way. Hungry, hungry hippos was a good time. And we used to play a game. It was similar to mousetrap called the Flying Finnegan's. They were a circus act and you had to get, you had to flip the guy over a thing, right? Yeah. Over the shark or something like that. I can't remember. We had never, I don't even think

we ever attempted to set it up. No. I mean, I think I just like played with the pieces. Whenever I ask my mom's like, yeah, we don't do that. This guy's eating a hotel. Yeah. No, I never, uh, we did have the Fisher price, pool, billiards, ping pong and basketball table. That's just a good time. Oh man. Yeah, cross some other fuckers up. Give him the old fucking shimmy shake. I was like, fucking hot sauce out there, baby. Get you with the juice box. Come around. Wait a minute. Well, is Uncle Mike's move? The bread and butter. The bread and butter. Hit him with the bread and butter. There you go.

Got it. That's good stuff. Look out. Look out. Um, all right. This one's from Casey. Are you garbage if you take a loan from credit karma to pay for your boob job? Huh? Okay. I had to zoom in on the picture. It was pretty cool. Really? Yeah. Do your thing. Yeah, I respect it. Uh, that's what rich people do. Rich people don't spend their money. They spend other people's money. So why not? Who you been talking to? A couple of people. I don't like this. It's what they do. You'll be pitching me business ideas pretty soon. You get boob job. Hey, listen, I need a boob job. Hey, hey, Kippy, I need 10 grand. I gotta get my tits done. I want to get my nuts bigger. Breast reduction. Maybe I was pitching ideas

at Toby downstairs. What were they? Anything good? What business ideas? No, nothing. We can't say publicly. Yeah. What are you gonna do? Steal my idea? We already got this guy running around ripping us off to get poon. Hey, it's like a Dairy Queen. But no, the New York should have, cold plunge and sauna places where it's just that. That's all I got. All right. I'll get on it. I'll put my, I'll get the team on it. Get them figuring that out for you. Me and you, trade at the top big dog. Is that, was that, is that gonna be your out of, uh, is that gonna be your side biz? Cause you're gonna have to start to diversify at some point.

It's gonna be too much to do. We were saying that that's too much overhead. Oh yeah. That's a, you learned that. You gotta buy all that shit, rent a space. Okay. Build up the client list. You'd have to do, you'd have to be able to do it affordable. And, you know, timely and keep it clean and stuff like that. Maybe you need like six, seven beds, something. Okay. I don't know. Cold plunges for the common man. Cold plunges for the common man. Call it Duncan chunking. Nothing. All right. Spits. Just been ballin' here. Just, does this thing is a bad idea. Okay. Call it Duncan cold nuts. No. Duncan. Your partner's out on the name.

Get on Shark Tank. The funding just got pulled. I'm so sorry. Get on Shark Tank. Star from the ground up. Get in business with Lori. What's your name? Lori. Yeah. She's all right. Man. You know what? I wouldn't mind taking a crack at Barb either. You've said that before. She's all right. She's probably a fucking freak in the sheets. I tell you, you say that about a pillar of industry like that. She's always making sex jokes about her all day. Really? She's always hitting on the fucking eye cane, like the fucking hot dudes that come in. The hot dudes that rollin' with the eyes on sharks. Hello sharks. Yeah, that or like if there's a pussy out of my face. Fucking. Give me the fucking money, Cuban. You got it. I know

you got it. Piece of shit. Call it fit up. I mean, if that's not just like this, that's a show. That's my favorite show right now. Oh, I love it. I don't know when I'm watching it from two, so I can never tell if it's a good idea or not because I don't know if it's from 15 years ago. I'm doing up. You can tell now. They come in to pitch something that everybody has like, let the fuck everybody's got that shit now. You find out it was from like 2003. Okay, let's talk about pretty litter. Because you know, I'm a kitty cat man, and T-Bone's a kitty cat man. Yeah. And there's nothing more that you care about in this world more than your little kitty cats. I love Hansie Ponzi. Hansie Ponzi don't need kitty litter. Nope.

And if he did, you know what he would use? He'd use pretty litter. You want to know why? Here's the coolest thing. It changes color if it detects an illness in the pet. I tested it out myself. Pre-menopausal. Gang, do yourself a favor. Pretty litter is smart. It's effective. Yep. It smells great. And it's good for the animals. Yes. Pretty litter is like crystal base. Also minimizes mess, smell, and dust. You'll have to, you get to keep. I don't know why I said animals. You get to keep it. You get to keep a clean home and have peace of mind. Pretty litter helps keep tabs on your cat's health and keeps odors down. You and your cat are going to love pretty litter as much as the big man and your cat do. I brought that shit. The bird didn't know

that we, that they became a sponsor and that they sent us some. I brought that into the house. She's like, whoa, where'd you get that? Yeah. Swear to God. I know. It's a good product. Go to prettylitter.com slash garbage and save 20% on your first order. That's prettylitter.com slash garbage to save 20%. Prettylitter.com slash garbage terms and conditions apply. See site for details. Now back to the show. Back to the show. That's like such a, that's a show that would be on like the Simpsons showing the future. You know what I mean? Hey, poor people, come tap dance to see if these billionaires give you cash that they don't need. You know what I mean? And then they'll fight over you. It's like fucking, you know. It was one

lady that got like 750 grand out of them. Two of them teamed up. They do that a lot. Mr. Wonderful. It's somebody else. They do that a lot. It was a lady. The fuck did she sell? Well, it was sunlight. It was, uh, damn, how'd she package that? The fuck? No, it was like some kind of light that gives you like vitamin D and whatever. Like a heat lamp type. Something. Yeah. Gotcha. Uh, speaking of TV shows, this one from Matthew. Is it garbage to watch Jeopardy? Call out the answers out loud in your living room. I don't think anyone in my family ever knew one answer. Oh, dude, we tried. We didn't even turn it on. Jeopardy with Jeopardy was big in our house, believe it or not. We're just kind of waiting around to a wheel of fortune started.

Yeah. We were playing the action. We were a say jackfab for sure. He went for the money, baby. But if you caught that 15 minutes before he got to the TV early, and then as my dad started to, you know, his, you know, the dementia set in, they would have him do that just to like, you know, the joke I was going to go is, where am I? Oh, I was, I was going to get with what is happening to me. No, it was like the doctor said, like, you know, it was like, like a brain thing. You know, sit down and watch sharp. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, we would, he wasn't getting too many right at that point, but he was trying. There's maybe. How many, what it was? Who invented the elevator? What is it? New Jersey?

Shout out to him. Shout out to him. I don't think I would only ever get like the pop culture ones that, you know, like, DMX or whatever. I could sneak a couple. A couple history. You're pretty good at. Yeah. I would be. Yeah. Hit me with a couple. Unless it's Seinfeld stuff. No. Oh, that's a good hard feelings though. We do jeopardy and see who gets the best score. Yeah, that's not bad. Damn. Hit us with one or two just to see. Go history. No. Pick the ones I know. Of food. There you go. Dr. Pepper was invented. What is 1963? You're sipping one. I've read the bottle. All right. What's going on? Let's move on. This one's from Captain Lou. Yeah. Is it garbage to

wear an airplane neck pillow at home in your own bed or couch? Yeah, man. I would say they're fucking trashy all together. They're never clean. He might be jammed up with a neck problem though. They're all right. I think he would lean. He would say that I have a neck problem. He's just being a dirt ball. He's just being fucking sitting in his house not wondering. He's like, God damn neck brace. Yeah, I don't like him. Uh-uh. They're not comfortable on a plane. In my eyes, they have to be really big because I'm still leaning too much. Yeah. I need like a fucking neck. Do you prop me up like that? I'd be chilling. That's a tough sleep on your side. I get like doing the back seat. You feel the strain already? Yeah. That ain't fucking good.

You don't want to be doing that. All right. Let's see this one's from Mike. Have you ever forgotten your own birthday? That's tough. I'm too. The actual birthday. Never. No. I'm fucking waiting. My family has. Yeah. My dad. What are you? Molly Ringwald? They forgot your birthday. No, my dad. You struck out with the cute guy at school? No. Well, you text on your, will you call your brother on his birthday? Say happy birthday. You should text. Hey, happy birthday. Call. Call. Everybody gets a call. Everybody gets a call. My cousins, if my mom reminds me or like a couple cousins, I know just because we're real close in age. They'll get a text. Happy birthday, whatever. You know, maybe one

year we're doing something or whatever. But immediate family, you know, my mom, brother, sister in law and the kids. Yeah, it calls. Kids get kids get to FaceTime. Calls at dinner usually. It's funny when we went to see. I'm saying, yeah, no, if you're not able to see them, what I'm asking what the form of communication. Well, we went out to see my dad's headstone. All right. It was right after my birthday. Okay. Because I was away on my birthday and we go to dinner. Dinner's winding down. Dessert's ordered. Okay. Dessert hits the table. No candle for the big guy. Whoa. Pissed. Pissed. But the waitress just forgot it. Then she came back out with just a little ramekin filled with whipped cream and a candle. Tried to start singing.

I put the kibosh on that. I was like, please. Wait, you would be upset if they didn't put a candle and a cake for you? Got a damn fucking right. Okay. I'm a fucking dirtbag when it comes to that stuff. I know. I know. Give me, give me. And if the cash was like when I was younger, I'd be upset. I am my uncle. My aunt Colleen used to come in heavy. Yeah. Fitty. Boom. Yeah. Yeah. Straighten me to fuck out. Aunt Kate would always grease me with a hundo. You're my godmother, though. She got a little bit of cash. There you go. Yeah, my aunt Colleen was my godmother. Uh, but that, like I think I've said too, like I really leverage my birthday gifts months in advance. Yeah, me too. You know what I mean? I need a new bike or a new skateboard

or something. She's like, I want your birthday. Yeah, we're fucking weasels. What do you mean? Fucking playing the game. She always sweetened you the day off with something, but it was, you know, she knew. She didn't forget. She didn't forget. Oh, wait, you would ask for it before? Oh, months. I would play it six months out. See, Patty wouldn't do that. February. And she, I'd be like, it'd be, it'd be my birthday present. She'd go, okay. Patty one time. Sometimes she'd be in a real stickler. She'd call me out on it. We got your bike, didn't you? We used to make this trip every year to the King of Prussia Mall on the day after Thanksgiving, go shopping, get ideas for Christmas. I found this coat at the gap that I want that I fucking

loved and wanted to start flexing immediately. I picked it out. She bought it right in front of me. Wouldn't let me fucking have it until Christmas. Yeah, I was 13. I was like, what are we doing here? I fucking saw you buy it. Yeah, but that's when you love the magic of Christmas. That's what it is. That's where you fall. What are you talking about? That's different. If you got it on her own, I wouldn't have said nothing, but I was right there with her. I was eating walk and roll when she bought it. Me a fucking break. Man, I can't get it. It was tight too. I had to wait until fucking. And by that time, I didn't want to fucking wear it anymore. I wanted to out of spite. It was a fall jacket. Fucking little leather collar. One of those like, like almost like the Harley

Davis and John's. Those things are, I don't understand that the leather with like the cow, like the. Oh, get the. Some dudes, some dudes I'm, we're friends with where I'm at. I'd say, I don't, I mean, I don't have leather coat leather jacket confidence. No, I barely pull off a bomber. No, no. Yeah. No, this was, this was like a preppy, you know, jacket was fucking sharp. Fucking wouldn't I snuck it out a couple of times or a couple of parties. Hey, watch. Hey, you know what the jig? Yeah, I gotta get a dry queen. What do you got, T-Bone? Man, Jeopardy keeps their practice quizzes locked down, dude. Sure. Really? Oh, well, you take the quiz to get on the show online. So they really

cornered the test market. Should we try to get on the show? No. Yeah, getting on Jeopardy. What? Well, I did. Fuck. I did. Fuck the pod. What is patreon.com? Such are you garbage? I mean, if Trebek was still around just to hang with him for a little bit, that bozo Ken Jennings. No, he's not doing it. Is he? I don't know. No, it's abroad. All right. Could be the blossom. She's great. We'll do a trial run here. We got a couple of topics. You got sports, theater, plays and folklore. You got a food and drink. I mean, this is just sports, theater, food and drink. Rock candy. Wait for this. Wait for this last one. I'll take fat asses for 3000, please. Wait for this last one. It's really gonna blow your mind. Animals. All right. Let's do

animals. All right. All right. Here we go. The eastern gray kangaroo can cover 25 feet in a single leap and they are widespread in this, the country's smallest state. You were just about to say Australia. You thought that was going to be that easy. What is Melbourne? No. Oh, New Hampshire. Eucalyptus. What the fuck? It's in Australia. You think there's kangaroos in New Hampshire? He said this country's smallest state. New Hampshire's our smallest state. Not this country we're in. I thought you said this country. I did say this country is in the country that you're referring to. Oh, Melbourne, Australia. I should have been the answer. Well, the answer was not the answer. That was my guess. Eucalyptus is a place. I guess so. Man, probably a bunch

of that shit over there. All right. Sports for 900 in 2014, 2015 and 2019. Novak Djokovic defeated this switch Swiss player in the Wimbledon final. Federer. Wait, it was Roger Federer. Yeah. Who's Roger Federer? I tell you, no, but this is the answer is the US open. That doesn't make sense. Well, you ruined it. Way to blow it, Toby. I'll take that 900 though. You got that on you. What are we doing here? Well, but don't talk to me. Talk to the idiots over at trivia bliss.com. Oh, God, bleep that. You're the one doing it. That's why it's fun. Toby, cut that. All right. This one's for me. This is one of the original one of the OG questions that started the show. Have you ever had carpet in any of your bathrooms?

You know, I did. Yeah. I did off one, man. Purple carpet wall to wall. I in the Wilkes Berry house. My dad ruined it shortly after Indian one night shortly after it was put in. Came home. Couple of pops in him after a softball game. Sure. Left the shower curtain on the outside of the on the wrong side of the fence. Patty was fewer. You know, looking back, it was probably about six feet of carpet. Probably $32. The bathroom was tiny as shit. Yeah. But the foam and that. She hung it out in the backyard and tried to dry it out. Put it back, dude. You see the stain on the bottom. That water smelled like grim death in there for about six months. So she finally broke down and got rid of it. I'm getting rid of it. Feels good in the piggies when you're

in there. I think for like a week and then after that, it's just everybody good. No, because like those rugs you put, we were a little kid still. I think I'm sitting on the floor. Do it now. Nobody knew. There's because those rugs that you have when you step out with the bath mats, they don't last that long. Now they gotta go. Think of it now. Think about running the end. I hear you. I don't know. I can't do that. Yeah. It's a tough look, man. Nobody's doing that now. I would hope not. Nobody. If you're listening, or watching on YouTube, comment or on Patreon. I would love to know if people still have fucking no fucking way. I'm sure there's some people out there. Got an older house. I mean, they're not

doing it now. Could still be in there like your grandma. Someone's gotta have it. Yeah. If you move it into a place and there's carbon in the bathroom and you don't rip it up, you're a dirt ball because someone's fucking pee pee and doodoo's are all over that. I'm not stepping on that. All right. This one's from Robert Redford's penis. Are you garbage if you drink Gatorade with dinner even though you haven't worked out in years? I was for a very long time a big Gatorade as a casual drinker as, you know, it's great. It's so good. So good. We had the fucking machines at college. I feel like four fucking every flavor they had, red, orange, and yellow. That may be a fucking wild cherry. Do your own

punch? What do you mean? You'd mix and match? No, I do one of each. One cup of each because they were like the little 12 ounce bangers. So no, they're styrofoam. So I do. I remember that in college. I would do a wild cherry Coke or wild cherry Pepsi or cherry Coke, whatever it was. Each and then one of each Gatorade. And if it was fourth meal, I'd make chicken sandwiches out of the chicken fingers on the hamburger buns with a slice of American cheese. And I'd put down probably about 3,600 calories at 11 p.m. on a Tuesday. You're just sitting sweating red. Hold on. The cafeteria was open until 11 o'clock. Yeah, fourth meal. Whoa. Yeah. It was like a broken down menu. That's like, it was more like school lunchy. You know what I mean?

They didn't have like dinner, but they would have like fries, chicken tenders, maybe some mott sticks or something like, you know, bar food ask. What would you get the hamburger rolls? They had hamburger. They were like, you know, they had like just loose rolls. Maybe I brought them. I don't know. I say it all the time, but that cafeteria at Widen University was fucking unreal. Yeah, it was so good. We used to have the little glass cups. Fill up like fucking 15 of those with orange drink. Yeah, I was tough, man. All right, let's do one more. And then we got a ripper up there. This one's from Spencer. First time, long time, never have one read. Let's get, let's cross you

off the list there, Spence. Is it garbage for me and my siblings to be the beneficiaries of several family members' wills because all of their kids are trash? That's tough. Hold on. So I understand the whole thing. Read it over and over again. Is it garbage for me and my siblings are the beneficiaries of several family members' wills because all of their kids are trash? So like, I assume they're hands. Those other kids fucking hate them. Yeah, oh, fucking goody two shoes. Oh, yeah. Well, sorry, we like fucking Spenser and Meredith. Damn, that's got, dude, Thanksgiving has to stop. That's how people get murdered. Yes, that's every forensic file. You know, I'm going to go back to night school.

I'm getting my shit together. I just opened a bank account. Man, how would you feel about that? I'd fucking kill somebody. Not out of, not even the, probably, yeah, you need the money, I get it, but it's also like, just out of pure disrespect. I'm going to make- You've got to really hate your kids, man, to fucking pull that. I'm going to make your cousin the beneficiary of all of, that's crazy. Your cousin's going to get all our money. I assume that's who he's talking about. Wow. And multiple. This guy, they're doing all right. Several families. His family probably stinks, if you think about it. Listen, just ship and debt your way.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're the fucking fall, man. That's fucking, oh man. That's a homerun. We got to wrap her up, gang. That's an awkward fucking Thanksgiving. Everything's, yeah, you have to not talk to those people. They're hating you. Oh, what are you doing? Come on over to my new house. Yeah, we got to wrap it up though. We do. Gang, we love you to death. We'll see you next week. We'll be upstairs, baby. It's going to be a good time. We love you. See you out there. Peace.