Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Trashy Lighters w/ Kippy & Foley

Episode Date: February 8, 2024

Are You Garbage is back with Kippy and Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. Its a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! Through the Roof Tour: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/ PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Blue Chew: https://bluechew.com/ Promo Code: Garbage Support the show by downloading the DraftKings Sportsbook App and using the code AYG. If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, crisis counseling and referral services can be accessed by calling 1-800-GAMBLER (1-800-426-2537) (IL/IN/LA/MI/NJ/PA/WV/WY), 1-800-NEXT STEP (AZ), 1-800-522-4700 (CO/NH), 888-789-7777/visit http://ccpg.org/chat (CT), 1-800-BETS OFF (IA), 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY), visit OPGR.org (OR), call/text TN REDLINE 1-800-889-9789 (TN), or 1-888-532-3500 (VA).   21+ (18+ NH/WY). Physically present in AZ/CO/CT/IL/IN/IA/LA(select parishes)/MI/NH/NJ/ NY/OR/PA/TN/VA/WV/WY only. New customer offer void in NH/OR/ONT-CA. $200 in Free bets: New customers only. Valid 1 per new customer. Min. $5 deposit. Min $5 wager. $200 issued as eight (8) $25 free bets. Ends 9/19/22 @ 8pm. Early Win: 1 Early Win Token issued per eligible game. Opt in req. Token expires at start of eligible game. Min moneyline bet $1. Wagering limits apply. Wagers placed on both sides of moneyline will void bet. Ends 1/8/23 @ 8pm ET. See terms at sportsbook dot draftkings dot com slash football terms. Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

Big announcement gang, the Through the Roof tour is on sale right now. Grab the squad and come out and see the boys. Stand up comedy show, you got me, Kippy Theebone, Tommy C. Then we play a little AYG with the crowd. It's a good, good time. Yes, our biggest tour to date. We're super excited. We hope to see everybody again.

We're going to Charlotte, Nashville, Tampa, Atlanta, Providence, New Haven, Boston, New York, Rochester, Syracuse, Albany, Baltimore, Portland, I ain't done yet! Seattle, Vancouver, New Orleans, Houston, Dallas, Red Bank, New Jersey, all tickets are available at rugarbage.com, Get On Gang, we want to see you out there. More cities coming soon. Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash.

Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast, this is Are You Garbage. It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that after you're to be classy. Yeah. After just a big old piece of trash.

Trash, trash, trash. I'm your host, H.T.A.T. totally coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tooties in the new edition. She's out and about. Okay. Doing her thing. All right.

If anybody comes by and asks, she's away for a couple of weeks. All right. Cops are looking for her. Okay. What are you going to do? Keep your story straight. Keep your story, keep your mouth shut is what she said when she left the house.

Keep your fat ass mouth shut. I believe it's the way she phrased it. Okay. It's a little rude. Bit of a toot on her that tootie. My co's is coming at you from across the table. He is the CEO of RU Garberts. He is an international business man.

Hi-yo. Dressed like a cat burglar. Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan. What up gang? What's going on pork chop? Not much. Thanks for tuning in gang. As always please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube as you know those numbers are Trurook. Cuckin. Cuckin.

Then obviously the greatest website of all time. You pull out your little computer, your little desktop, your little application and go to www.patreon.com slash are you garbage please go over there and join the fucking army of garbage with over 13,000 members on that gosh darn patreon baby. 13,000 strong and a bajillion hours of content. That's a regiment or a battalion or something. Uh huh. It's a lot. It's a lot of people I know that much.

Take Normandy with that. Sure. I mean I don't want to. Hey listen. Let him know it's back on I Got ties to Eastern European Eastern German television find out where your loyalties are sure check you for wires And also before I before I forget the through the roof tour is on sale now, baby Our biggest let's go some of the biggest venues we've ever played get those tickets at are rugarvage.com gang. Town Hall, New York City, the Wilbur and Boston. Funny bones.

I know, couple of clubs. Couple of funny, beloved funny bones, let's go. Shout out to a nice comedy club in a mall. I'm talking to you Albany and Syracuse. Yeah, come out and see the boy in there in a minute. I know, I'm looking forward to go back. Hey guys, if you've seen the shows before, if you come to a live show, you know they're a good time.

Grab the homies, grab your friends, come on out, let's pack these fucking places out, gang. Yeah, let's pack them out, baby. Everything at RUgarbage.com, and there's probably still a couple of the card games left, but they are dwindling. So don't be hitting us up when they're gone. Is that a marketing tactic?

Cause they're not. Sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss Only two left, act now! I got 12 cases behind me. Meanwhile we're gonna be pushing him again in a week. Hey, you're getting really low now. Gang, I'm gonna have a nice quick shout out to our producer X Short and the other magic man makes us all look good. Works the ones, twos, threes, fours, crosses, t's, dot's, i's. He cashes checks and he likes to break necks.

Give it up for T-Bone, McScruff, and it's Toby McBowling everybody. What up, dude? What's up, dog? Dog, on the way way here I had a nice little giggle at two fellas on a sidewalk uh-huh one guy's eating a donut the guy goes ah look at me and fully spine the other guy's bald smoking a cigarette spying on us as a gluten-free donut by the way I was a

cronaut oh love a cronaut this was a very fancy donut the gentleman was eating okay and he goes all these new places great all types of donuts coconut and I Ooh, love a cronut. This was a very fancy donut, this gentleman was eating. Okay. And he goes, oh, this new place is great. Got all types of donuts, coconut. And I saw his buddy hit him with an eye roll. That would have stopped a train. It was like watching a friendship end. I know.

Coconut's all right though. No, what? Get out of here. Dunkin' Donuts used to do a coconut, I believe. I don't know if they still do. Yeah, used to being the operative phrase. It was a cake donut and it was like coconut all around it. I'm not a donut guy.

Give me a classic and old fashioned whatever, but like I ain't doing all that. You know, maybe, yeah, no, not for me. I'm a bagel man. I like a coconut. Give me a bacon egg and cheese. What are we doing this is breakfast. It ain't dessert.

Fucking get me some scramble, some bacon and omelet, something the fuck's a donut doing for me? Do you have that lighter on you? Why? Don't make fun of me. I just wanna see it. I just wanna look at it again. Sure.

Go outside of the back porch. I'll say, you know what's very trashy? I have multiple lighters on me. I'm rolling around. You always steal my lighters. Bad. No, this is crazy. Hey, no, you can't make fun of it. First of all, it's a skankfest lighter

There you go. Ah, I don't know how this ended up in my pocket as a recent. I must have Stole it from somebody, but it's got a bottle opener on it. Yeah, that's the thing that they're tough Anytime, it's a it's a functional. It's short. That's like to flip flops with the bottle opener on them Shout out to skankfest, baby. Yeah, shout out to it. Yeah. But that is the trashiest. That's tough. I don't think I've ever really used one. Yeah. That style.

That's the one you take off and you get the high flame. Should I do that? No. I think I should. No. I don't have to do painter insurance. It should rig the lighter. I haven't done it in a long time.

You think you still got what it takes? I think so, right? You just do that and you lift it up. You slide it over. Oh, I think I think so, right? You just do that, and you lift it up. You slide it over. Oh, I think I got it. Feel the teeth caught on that one. I got it a couple more times than that, bro. Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Man. That ain't no CGI either, gang. That's real pyrotechnics.

I feel like Elon Musk, dude. Hit him with it. Be careful. You're getting. Man. Man. Ha ha ha ha. You ever get caught with one of those? Somebody does to you or like cranks it all the way up

You burn an eyebrow. I started a wildfire with my eyebrows like in those things went up. Yeah, no, that's bad Yeah, you read the lighter on somebody and then they you know that was a big thing I was a lighter kid growing up. I always had a pretty heavy Meatball I collected lighters like second dinner maybe now that wasn't either going down and hitting that rice Aroni that was still in the pan once you oh baby it would congeal it'd be it'd be like a loaf yeah um no I would I always had lighter so we would always be we would always be rigging them I would take them from my dad. I had zippos at a young age a lot. I had a couple of gunlighters

I would get on the Wild Woods board man I had one it was a revolver like a little snub nose and that I actually still have it it would turn like the Really barrel or whatever you call it would turn with it like Just pop on a cop tonight and holding people up with that thing. I don't know the board. Give me your token. Give me all your, give me all your tickets. The Ed's Fun Cable. Give me all your bubble tape.

I'll give you. Yeah, that got me thinking somebody hit me the other day with this little snub nose. Bic, I sent you, I sent you a thing of it. It's crazy. This thing is nuts. Oh, I love a thing of it. It's crazy. This thing is nuts. Oh, I love those things.

No, that's crazy. They should be in the house for, yeah, it's perfect for candles and more. They're great for candles and if you're ha- That's for light and light bulbs. What are you talking about? If you're catching a heater at the house, that's great. That's like a mini grill lighter.

I'd rather have a grill lighter. That thing is, that coming out of somebody's pocket talk about looking like a gun To my buddy Matt in high school would hate you with the grill lighter like he had it in the car And would it be in his pockets? What do you I'm like, Jesus put that thing away? You're gonna get us it is not the only thing about the grill of those lighters. Hey listen It goes mini bex classy to me It goes mini bex mini bexix is the cream of the crop. It's small, it fits in the pocket.

Yes. No, big-bick. No. Big-bick. Buddy, you're out of the heater game and you've been for a minute. You're wrong. Maybe when you were smoking bowls at some...

Yeah, little-bick. Hippy festival. The little-bick is an adults lighter. That's what that is. Yeah, it's an adult light. I'm a kid of heart. That's true. He's got a youthful vibe to him.

Then it goes big, big. Then it goes those things. We call them crack head lighters. Growing up, they were crack head lighters. Those John's. 99 cents or whatever. And then it would go the grill lighter. You're missing a key lighter that be often forgotten about. The cylinder.

My favorite, the clipper. The clipper. Yeah. What's the clipper? Yes, that's great. Those are gray are great cylinder with a little back little flap on it and the the flint part pops out so you can pack joints and stuff excellent nine times that it's that lighter says Myrtle Beach somewhere on it sure that's a very big Chachki lighter that's the number one lighter in the UK that's their big no way really yes man I'm also over there. They always got

to make a stand, don't they? They were a dry on the side, different side of the road. Got cool lighters, fishing chips. Um, you'll be kidding me. Those things stink. They don't fit in your pocket. No, they do. They wobble around. My aunt Kathy was big on having. She always had like next generation lighters. She had it for like a couple of days. It would have like a tassel on it or something like that. She was the first person to break one of those out in front of me. I was a big, I mean, I think we've said it before, but the Jeeps, I don't even know

if that's how it's pronounced. Those things are awesome. The big, they're like disposable light, Zippo's kind of. It was D, J-E-E-P. Oh, those little fat Those you get one of them Baby talk about for the serious smoker Yeah, that's for the guy who's got his shit together. Yeah, somebody needs a chest x-ray

Yeah, that that guy don't need a co-signer on an apartment I They started up Marlboro was there with the Marlboro ones were banging with them for a long time. So we would have, those would be floating around a lot. Or Winston's, like Winston NASCAR had them too. They were the big dejeeps. And they used to have a little safety on the back where you click it in and then, man,

any little babies fingers could light those things. Those were not child, but those were easy lightens. For kids that grow up quick. Yeah. Did you ever see these things? I think it's like a taser. Oh, the butane lighters. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no. That's electric. Yeah. Oh, that's nuts. The butane lighters got. What am I, an alien? Get out of here. That's not what I go, gleecorp. No way. They're crazy. No. Tatooine weed or something like that. Yeah, you can't be doing that. No.

Classic regular lighter. With a nice glass of Vulcan ale. We're doing space sci-fi bits over here. Where you at? You know what a Vulcan is? No. You don't know what a Vulcan is? Mm-mm.

Huh. Should I? Does this mean anything to you? Spock was a Vulcan. Hit me, baby. From the front of Vulcan. I figured it was some sort of breed of alien. Ha ha ha ha.

Kind of super human mutant or something. I don't know. He was super human. Sure. What is that? How would Spock have had? He wasn't super human. He was an alien.

No, he was tough, though. Spock had meshed up. He was stronger shit. Super human means you're a super human. All right, all right. Now you're just splitting hairs with me. All right, that's ridiculous. I mean, I don't know what to tell you. That's a real Klingon move.

Yeah. Anyway, somebody handed me that lighter and I was like, dude, what the hell? Just doesn't fit right. No, you're not wrong. You're not wrong for sure. But all that being said, we got a gosh darn family episode gang.

Yeah, we do. We gotta get into it. As you know, when you join a Patreon, one of of the you know what you join one of the 13,000 That's fills a stadium. That's crazy 13. I'm small regionals. Sure the Trenton Thunder the way we like it Yeah, I was driving by the Trenton Thunder's I would love to go to a fucking minor league ball game minor league baseball game. Yeah. Yeah, they were all right Do a little scouting yeah, have a box score. I'm sure you get you know decent deal on some big beers sure good soft pretzel Plus you catch a guy rehabbing sure getting off the junk fucking Lenny Dijkstra or something down there bitchin somebody down there working

Yeah But I'd be down. We got the Coney Island. You got Coney Island out there, too I'd rather Coney Island seems like it takes a hundred years to get to. I drove out there one time to look at a couch, a chair that we were gonna buy off Craigslist. Wow. Oh my God. Things are going well, huh?

This was, this was at a really- We were bragging. Dude, and we got out there and it was white. My wife said, yeah, they showed like the actual, I think it was IKEA or something. Like, they showed the actual picture from IKEA. Oh, that's crazy. Not the real one and my

that's crazy my wife was like I think it's gonna be in pretty good shape I'm like no dude it was this it was in a cell phone store on Coney Island we had it going I'm like I ain't fucking going we leave it the previous owner used to guess weights on the boardwalk yeah it was it was dicey you can get the body out of it. It's all yours. Yeah Dead cat laying in it. It was rough. No, thanks. She was like, I can't believe they wouldn't post a real picture I'm like ladies in New York City. Everybody's trying to rob you here. I know Back to that village should be wearing wooden shoes But as you know when you join a patreon over there we will answer your garbage question on the air All right, this one's from C willie

$10 homie never have one read is a garbage to wear a hard rock cafe t-shirt from a city You've never been to hard rock cafe shirt anytime anywhere trash unless you are a dime piece Hot chicks can pull that off. Hot chicks can pull anything off so that's you know you can't really you can't really grade on that curve. Yeah any hard rock cafe t-shirt. Planet Hollywood was a real tough one for me. I think now a planet Hollywood's a little more vintage. How can you do that? Which I don't understand. Were they cool? No. For a minute. I thought you had to be in the movie industry to get a table there. I swear I thought it was all because you always just saw like sports and egg or install on at the planet

I'm opening them up. Yeah, I didn't know I just figured you had to be an A list celeb Can I ask you this? What is a hard rock cafe? It's like a music venue, right? Yeah It's it's similar to a rainforest cafe and that it's a themed restaurant in their melting faces Fucking whammy and all that. I know they have got there's a hard rock casino, right? They have their own casinos. I think hard rock. Yeah, I think hard rock hard rock Yeah, get it. I get the history of hard rock cafe. It probably started as a music venue that like it's like an Applebee's And then the blues place. I gotcha. All right. I performed at one. Yeah me too in Philly. Yeah, the hard rock family Huh Yeah, I performed it one. Yeah me too in Philly. Yeah, the hard rock Philly Huh

I see the play here, so Big ups to hard rock ca- hard rock cafe hard rock cafe is a chain theme bar restaurant memorabilia shop casino and museums Where was it founded and you throw a CVS in there? You're all set. Where was it founded? Covering the bases London CVS in there you're all set. Where was it founded? Look at my cover in the bases. London. Isn't it?

Ow! Really? I knew that. I would have just crammed it. I would have said LA. I pictured LA too. Like next to the Viper Room. So places like this, what makes a genius

is that because they are a quote unquote museum, it's a tax write off. Damn, we gotta turn this place into a museum. Get some memorabilia. The world's fattest man, ladies and gentlemen. Step up, step in, one hand wins, any prize. No, but if we can get like Fonzie's jacket or something like that.

Just starting up our clothes. What are you, we're celebrities. I remember when we went to certain markets. Ha ha ha ha ha. Listen, you go to Rochester and you ask them if they want my Delaware and hard hat, they'll be slipping out of their seats. Ha ha ha.

This guy can't walk down the street in Kansas City. Can't in Ohio? I remember when we went to, when we did the Foley family pilgrimage down to DC, one hot summer day. January 6th. One hot summer day. We went over there to the Natural History Museum.

You know, we saw the memorials and all that stuff. Went to the Natural History Museum, made a beeline for the film and television area. Yeah. Didn't want to see like the space shuttle or anything like that. Straight to Archie Bunker's chair. I remember my dad sitting there looking at that thing

like it was, like it was the- Sure, like it was a guy- Shout of Turin. Yeah, whatever spaceship Just like you believe that that's the chair at that Fonzie's jacket And I remember radar Riley's hat was in there from mash, you know, you know, that is radar Riley vaguely. Yes Sitting there looking at that. That's what we need some of that stuff in here I'm in if I mean if we can write just say that's the night's original. What? That's not even a dance.

It's King Arthur's. That is art. Hey, already. Please, if we if we can jam something in the side, Jesus Christ wore that thing. He was a night, but probably. But I'll say this, Hard Rock does real good with the merch. Yeah, it's a brand.

I mean, I would argue most people probably know it's a plate, like a Hard Rock. That's just like a brand at this point. You know what I mean? I wonder what the grub's like over there. Probably pretty fucking good. Like a Margaritaville. It's like casual dining.

Yeah, it's like an Apple or it's like a TGI Fridays with live music. Probably know a sampler. Straighten it right up. Yeah, let's hit the great burgers There you go. You know where I went to there was the oh How do you feel about the onion ring in the burger? Don't love it. Don't love an onion ring me either I wish they were a little crispier if it was up to me never really met one that I saw love with onion strips You know what I mean? It's not a bad idea.

They're a little less like, because then you just bite it, the onion comes out, and you got a bunch of bread, which hey, I like bread, but I don't want the fucking, I feel like I'm eating a slug. Burger King's onion rings. Stink. There's not even onion in it. It's just like onion flavored breading.

Goop. Yeah, it sucks. Oh, I don't like the goop. Nah. Lose me on the goop. They used to be hot back in the day. I feel like there were onions in them back in the day. They're almost like hush puppies.

They're like ring hush puppies. I remember them being little, tiny, microscopic diced onions. And this is, this is, this is a little sidetrack, but just the onion ring shape, those peach rings, those can kick rocks too. You know what I'm talking about? You think about food in shape versions?

Sure. Okay. It's the same thing. You know what I'm talking about? The about food in shape versions sure okay? Sure talking about the peach wait there good every now and then I get out of here with that You know what I do like the frogs or the sharks. Oh come on man a little white belly Remy can't but talking about blue chew I'm hard right now You soft ones out there You limp noodles a couple's go, baby. Couple of meaty boys. Gang, if not getting it up is getting you stressed out.

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do it. Yeah. I we know what I hit that. Do it. Yeah. We know what I hit recently that was not that great. I could have just had a bad table. It was a big group of us. Red Robin. No kidding. It's supposed to be known for the,

they have like a bajillion burgers. Never been in one. It was all right. Who could Ruby Tuesdays? Yeah, but I think like a, even a lower rent Ruby Tuesdays. Whose wedding was this? It was after, I think it was even a lower rent Ruby Tuesdays whose wedding was this it was after

I Think it was I went to think we I think it was the anniversary of my stepdad's death That's where he is when I think so after the cemetery. No, well, we did the cemetery and then Oh, no, and then we took the kids out to do you know as a good thing we thing. We did top golf. I told you, a lot of play in the tombstones play hide the flowers. And then stealing pennies off of the stuff. There you go. All right. And then we went to top golf.

That was more just for the kids. Just so happened to be the same thing. It was a trashy afternoon because I was and then golf and a red Robin. Huh? Oh, it was all right. A couple of key lime. Hi, you said it's stunk. Just so happen to be the same thing about a trashy afternoon because I was and then golf in the red Robin, huh? Huh, it was all right couple key lime pie shakes with that. You said it's stunk Yeah, but it's a good old-fashioned fun right there. What's wrong with fucking top golf? What should we got to do by the way? What I want to do is so bad. What's wrong with what did you steak fries over there red Robin? I forget to be honest with coming to basket

It was like they hit you with a bunch of like, do you want the Mondo burger? There was too many options and they weren't, I was like, see if you can get a menu. The burgers are all like. They were just making fun of you. They were. Do you want the big, do you want the big head burger?

I'm like, what's that? No, it was like we have to tapper the burger. Two helmet burgers please. Ha ha ha. Yeah, I guess they do have the steak fries. And they have a whole bottomless section. That's bottomless? Hold on a second.

Yeah, and they give you, they give you not enough. A little bit. Like, they don't even fill the plate. At least they didn't for me, which was a little disappointing as my first run. Uh huh. Go to the burgers. The burgers, it was like, it was like a,

I think I might have done the Whiskey River BBQ if I remember correctly. Which has the onions twizzlers on it. Twizzlers, strips, yeah, I'll give you that. It just wasn't great. The Whiskey River. Man. But they have like a bajillion burgers,

they're all kind of the same thing. Okay. It wasn't great. It wasn't great. It wasn't great. I got to give. I got to put another set of eyes on it. Oh. The beers were cold. I like to.

They got pizza, too. Donato. Donato. So much. It's through Donato's. I don't know how I know that. It's through Donato's. What are you going to say to the company?

Donato's. There's certain Italian names that in affiliate accent sound so trash. Uh-huh. Donados. One of them. Aldous. Aldous.

Over to Aldous. Shout out to Aldous. We went to Giuseppes. I used to work at Giuseppes. I know you did. Made that fat broad slip. And then I saw her to Burger King years later. Dumb bitch.

Should have never yelled at me in the fucking dining room. Get what you get. You're fucking shelling out onion rings. Fucking. No onions in them. You fucking bitch. Anyway, great question about the hard rock tea. Yeah, what you get you're fucking shelling out onion rings. I put no onions in them fucking bitch Anyway, great question about the hard rock tape. Yeah fantastic. I remember one time. I never liked everybody rocks them I just could never pull it off, but they weren't cool when I was it Like you were that was like nerdy if you were rocking unless you're cool Pamela Anderson sleeves cut off

Yeah, and that's even like ironic that she's wet like if I wore it, it looked like I was like, check me out, I was just at the hard rock. I wanna say, it was a souvenir and that wasn't cool. If memory serves me correct, you're talking 89, 90, maybe 91, Planet Fitness, or not Planet Fitness, Planet Hollywood.

Free to not use pizza on Fridays. Planet Hollywood hard rock leather jackets were being worn unironically and they were cool. That was also the time when you if you had a Jeep and you had a Yosemite Sam on the back shooting six guns, you were cool too. That stuff the shelf life on that went real quick. Where that became real cheesy. Yeah, it was when Millie vanilla got busted. Things really started going south, you know? Uh-huh.

That's when the wool was really pulled back. Yeah. Everybody started waking up. It's all a lie. That's a heartbreaker. My dad loved Millie Vanilli. Really? What?

I mean, I don't think anybody disliked him. Millie Vanilli, and for some some reason he loved UB40. What the hell's UB40? Red, red, red, red, red wine? UB47, dude, what are you talking about? UB48. Oh, red and red wine, all right. Oh, that's a hit.

It's a cover too, I think. They were great. Anyway, I digress. All right, let's see. This one's from Brandon Hayes, $10 homie, never have one red. Are you garbage if you freeze leftovers from a restaurant? Ooh.

You can't do that. That's got a max 36 hour shelf life on it. That's lunch or dinner the next day. And I would say even that's kind of, anything after that dinner's super pushing it. I just saw a thing the other day where people freeze dried stuff. They made soup and they have like it looks like an oven,

but you have to put it in a tray. Yeah, yeah, yeah, freeze dryer. Yeah. Like instant freezer type thing. Yeah. Yeah. I don't like that. I had a buddy who on Chipotle free burrito day went to like 10 different Chipotle's.

I kind of respect that. Got the burritos, froze them and ate them for like a month. I kind of respect that a little bit. How do you heat them up without them like burning? Put it in the microwave? I'll put it in the oven. Yeah. You know, I wasn't hands on with the R&D department.

Yeah. Also, this guy's probably eating cold burritos. What are we talking about? Burrito sickle. Yeah, he's. I don't hate that. This guy's not bringing, you know, he's yeah Cuz you know we don't bring up cuz you I think I think you little whippersnappers are way too young

But do you remember the frozen burritos at like 7-eleven? Oh, yeah, oh, they said the best for it's 7-eleven It was just mush dub-omb with the nacho cheese best microwave burrito of all time. They discontinued it I feel like El Paso made them. I feel I. I feel like I was still doing them in New York at that BP that I used to live next to. Really? They sold them and well, like we didn't have any cookware in the apartment when I was living in and we would fucking,

we would get them there for like two bucks. I used to, my dude, if I, I was thinking about the other day, my diet when I first moved up here, 90% of the food came from a BP. A good gas station order. I'm guessing there was a Dunkin Donuts in the BP. I'm guessing breakfast was the bacon egg and cheese or sausage egg and cheese with

the tots and that 99 out the 99 cent big Arizona iced tea. Like that was every day. I would have that. I would eat it in my car like a straight up Arizona Yeah, oh the can the big can whoa every day every day one of those that was just for breakfast I've had an Arizona for breakfast and you feel real bad about yourself I would also get an extra law I'd get an extra large extra extra so extra cream extra sugar I didn't know I heard some guy order one time

and thought it was cool. So that's what I started doing. That's so much. I'll do an extra large extra extra. I'm surprised my feet are still on, dude. I did that for every day for, and then at lunch I would walk to go get pizza and I would do, they would do like chicken fingers cut up, like a chicken

cutlet on a pizza. I do one slice of that and one slice of pepperoni and a 20 ounce coat, better Pepsi. Let's go. And then that was, dude, that's by 11 AM. Let's go. Then we'd go out and do fucking comedy and whatever that was. I'm sure that- More pizza and iced tea. I'm sure that order at BP in the afternoons definitely include one of those 99 cents sleeves of peanuts.

Whether it be planters or something like that. Well that was when I started watching my figure but before that I found these. Those are all right. I found those little and you've seen them. They have really bad packaging and they're always in like shitty bodegas or gas stations. They're red and yellow.

No, they're not peanuts. They're called like country granola bars. And there's like a blue and white package one, a gray and white package. There's like a peanut one, a chocolate chip one. They're kind of like. I know grandma's cookies in a pinch of the bodega. They're all right.

Oh yeah. You know what I'm talking about? Oh yeah. Woo, that old broad knew what she was doing with a double fudge chocolate cookie. I'll pay that right now. Let's go. Delicious, always moist.

And whatever they were, once I found them, man, that was a fucking wrap for me. I would do, I thought they were health foods. They were just candy bars. They were cheap candy bars. They got kudos? Very similar to acudos. I think it's these, Sunbelt Bakery.

Oh, I know exactly what you're talking about. Yeah, it's this. Let's see. I know exactly what you're talking about. Sunbelt. They were like 50 cents. Yeah. Yeah, these. Mm-hmm.

They were like 50 cents. They're at the checkout, and I would just grab like five of them and just fucking mush them with a root beer or something. Dude, those deals used to be crazy. You get the strip of powdered little mini donuts, 50 cents. Anything little Debbie or Drake's, I remember going into the Bodega below our apartment on Second Avenue with like $3.50 in chains and coming out with a meal. With a couple bags of party mix and peanuts,

something sweet, a little sweet treat, and in Arizona. Those Arizonas, man. The grape buy. That's what they were called. They were called the grape buy. Man, they fucking. Talk about keeping the country going. Let's go.

Can you see if there's still 99 cents? Yeah, there's still 99 cents. But then some of the bodegas and chills are charging like $1.25, even though it says 99 cents on the fucking can. You better not let that owner find out. That guy's adamant about keeping that price point. Adamant.

The 99 cents. Oh yeah. They gotta be responsible for most of diabetes. I don't think so. Why? Get people through their work day. They did the green tea for a little while See how honey and ginseng that's the first time any of us had ginseng. It wasn't for Arizona

I never I would know about ginseng never had that was the hot chick drink. Yeah, that's why I wasn't drinking it I was fucking shotgun in the heavy bike Joan the Arnold Palmer and shut up. Nice sense, baby Of course, and then I switched over to the Arnold Palmer for sure. Gentleman's drink. Uh-huh. I would buy those in a Luke oil on Street Road when I was working for my family. And I would eat two soft pretzels and a thing of combos

and crush one of them. That was my 1030 thing. It's like Insolid Memory Lane here. I like it. Doing it. Stroke a bad piece of shit. All right, let's see here. This one it. I'm doing it. Strollin' bad, pimpy. Bad piece of shit. All right, let's see here. This one's from Reese. Hold on, there ain't a better combo

than a lemonade and nice tea. Okay, yeah. Dude, that's... Get that tang in the back of your mouth. Then my mom, this was probably a great out of college. I was like living at home and like, before I moved out, she would buy that. She still might or for years she would buy that big jug

of the Arnold Palmer. That's crazy. That always settled here at the bottom, it looked like bad pain. You shake it up? It never fully shook. I shake up everything. I shake milk, I shake orange juice, anything but soda.

I'm giving it a shake before I drink it. Probably way of heartburn all the time, full of bubbles. Yeah, it's about to float away. Fermenting my beverages. You don't shake up milk before you drink it? I don't drink milk, player. Well, you have a bowl of cereal. Player?

Who do I think I am? What the fuck? What the hell did this show turn into? You don't shake milk? Nah, my bad, dawg. I have no idea. I'm gonna slap this shit out of you. That's impromptu for you, baby.

Baby! Hey, you're a real cool cat. Yeah, that's in prop for you, baby baby Hey, you're real cool cat could be in a jive turkey toby What do you got? All right, this is Reese. Are you garbage if you get your haircut at a mall? Yes, I've done it, but yeah, it's trash. Well documented on the program complete track unless you're talking again 88 89 90 when the mall was banging. I still think that's great.

All my cousins and aunts used to get their hair cut at a. Listen, I don't know. I've met a handful of these people. I don't think they're like the indicator of cool. If your aunts were getting their hair cut. They were back then. Your aunts, what? Your aunts weren't cool in 88.

They were single working ladies. Holy, they were getting their hair cut at a mall. You know, like the Ramones. Single working ladies. What are you talking about? That's not cool. I'm not saying they're, you're gonna take it as I'm saying they're bad.

I'm not saying anything bad about them. I just don't think they, Well, I can be always had, they were always going out on dates and stuff. Cause they're a horse though. I'm sorry. How dare you? Yeah, they're not, I mean. I don't want to think they're a horse. I'm sorry. How dare you. Yeah. No, they're I mean, why do you think they're getting so much action because they had good looking

hair. I was a single working lady. She wasn't getting her hair cut at fucking. She probably went to a barber shop. Trimmer and mustache. You two were in magic. She went to Mary Paul is and they weren't exactly going out with Tom Selick. Yeah. Actually my cousin did go out with Tom Selick. This is roommates old neighbor when he wasn't filming Magnum PI. He was a ballet. He parked his car. Yeah. Mary Paula. She'd get a Mary Paul. I'm going to Mary Paul's get my hair cut. He would have Mary Paula had a little I'm going to get my hair done. Hair done. Had a little turn the garage, part of the garage into a nice salon. Sure.

You ever get your hair cut at an Aveda or any other hair cutting school where you get someone real green? In Aveda, though, they're like proper shops in the city. Yeah, that's a line of products. They have a school. I only know it as a line of products. Yeah. It's fancy ones at that. It's not very. Yes, you're wrong. No, a lot of hot topic managers looking for a lateral move running through there. At the school, yeah. Yeah. That's what he's talking about. I remember I almost went to a dental school to get a

tooth pulled or something like that. Yikes. Somebody went and was like, don't do it. You sure about this? Yeah, that's uh, that ain't great. I did I went to a place around here last week or two weeks ago or whatever. I never had such unprofessional, but I like I'm not a guy just what I just cut the air in and out. Unprofessional, but I like I'm not a guy just what I just cut the air in and out this guy was gone man I'm so tired. I must have been on drugs or something. He's yawning He went and made a coffee and came back upset that he got half my head cut God I just can't he's like doing this and stuff pulling out the straight razor. Yeah, I was like what the fuck dude I can do a bump and get on the fucking straight arrow

here and finish the job. There ain't that much hair. Hey, you want me to call my guy? Straighten out of here. Focus, will you? I know. Poppa Ridlin. All right, let's see here.

This one's from Derek. Is it garbage or cut through a shopping center to avoid a traffic light? No, all the time. You really gotta stick and move. You gotta, it's trash, yes. Remember, remember, when I was younger, my dad made it seem like the feds would come and get you

if you did that. Man, dude. All right, we're cutting through the thing. Is there any cops? Like they don't give a fuck. There was this one no through traffic. Like there was like a heavy intersection. And as like, you know, over the years,

it got the line to get longer and longer. So there was this neighborhood that you could cut through and we would be like, I think my dad had a number memorized. Like, oh, we're going to one, two, three mockingbird lane or whatever. If you got pulled over, if the SWAT team came down on you. And we would be looking to see if a car followed us the whole or like, you know, one time we did drive by a cop or I

Heard there was a cop posted up there last week. Don't cut through Knowles Avenue or whatever Dude, it was like you thought we were fucking doing a bank job. Yeah, why did they why were they so afraid of that? I don't know man that and turning the light on in the car the dome light was just anxiety I don't know it would do it. What about it eight dollar ticket or hey It was just anxiety. I don't, I don't, it was, what a minute, $8 ticket? Or hey, I'm sorry, I didn't realize. Yeah. I'm in a rush. My kid shit his pants. I'd shit my pants on.

If my dad was like, I'm sorry, my, my something. Let's be honest, you probably had. I played both. You're probably halfway there. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like dude, like there's some sort of like, hey, my bad guy. My dad.

Let me off with a warning. I'll never do it again. My dad used to cut through this gas station and he would go so far as to pull in and pull into a stall for like a minute, turn the car off and back on and then go. So that's wild. Come on, I'm late for practice here.

Let's go, no one's tailing you. I think my dad got pulled over maybe once in the entire time that I was a kid. I Don't know if that I can't remember I had to tree in him back in the early days though. Oh Yeah, I mean that's even a Christmas party or work every day more of a guideline Not a lot. I bet I mean, I've yeah, I've been documented saying I got my don't drink and drive conversation while having beers in a pickup truck with an adult male figure

who may or may not have been my father. Sure. Allegedly. Different time. Yeah, it was the fucking, you know, it was only 2018. It wasn't that long ago. Yeah. They were arresting people for cutting through gas stations.

The whole Johnny Law was all with a long arm and the wall was all over it. Yeah, when that arresting people for cutting through gas stations. Haha. The wall Johnny wall was all the long arm of the wall was all over it Yeah, that light when that light came on it was freak out city That was on for two so meanwhile me my brother fist flight And I'm jumping over the back seats into the back of the you'll kill everybody on the turnpike if you turn that light on I Do I do get it? I'm also the guy to be like if I'm looking for it like if I'm looking for a house, and I'll turn the radio down. I gotta concentrate. It isn't distraction.

Sure. I'll give you that. I don't like loud music like that, unless I'm in the zone. That's my soul. You're a little too crazy with the loud music sometimes on the road. Play your rap songs.

Your hip hop. I gotta stay up. You guys also all fucking sleep. I'm the, there's a lot of times where it's just me with fucking five souls of all. If I have just hit the pen and you're cranking it and you don't really know where you're going

and this and that, I go a little antsy. In my pants. Oh, I'm sorry. That's the experience for you to do your drugs and hang out. I'm just sharing. Yeah, me too. Maybe stop doing your, smoking your Chiba. Plus your classic rock mix tapes gotta get upgraded.

I can't listen to any more credence on the road for the true root point. Well I'm sorry, I'm not putting any more music out. It's classic rock. I don't know what do you want from me? Ha ha ha ha ha. It's a goddamn algorithm to pull together. It's not like I'm playing my best of CD here.

Take the blue oyster cult, get right another hit. What the fuck, blame in me for no more classic rock songs coming out? And also, we end up in the car for 48 hours together You're gonna hear some repeats. What do you want from me breaking my stones? Fair enough All right, let's see here this one's from Marshall from Cleveland. What up dog?

Yo, he's a garbage if your stepdad was your baseball coach growing up I still had to run laps when he brought me to practice late and he would also hit me with bitches from time to time Never had the dad as a coach dad always coached my older brother For the most not always but like he was a talent wasn't a family sure Getting beamed by your stepdad is crazy. Yeah. He's just like a little chin music. Next time it'll take the trash out. Tuffing you up a little bit though. I like that. Sure.

I mean, yeah. I remember that dude. My dad had such a bad experience coaching my brother's team that it was like, I'm never, there was these two fucking big brothers that were bad.

Okay. And they would like talk shit. They were like, they were like dudes. They're bad kids bad kids I'm sure I I ended up seeing them again later in life. They you know, whatever But they were just like they were too big real, but they were like my size now They were like 11. Mm-hmm. They're like fuck you like they're doing whatever they want and man I dad just went to I think almost fought them in the dugout one time

He's like, oh fuck that I ain't coming back. Like, you know, the year- Quit mid-season? Yeah, or like something. It was like, I'm not doing this because I'm gonna end up fighting these kids or their parents. Like, this is fucking, we're not doing this. I'm not sitting here taking shit from a 10-year-old.

The one kid's got a tattoo for Christ's sake. I know. It's like, dude, I can hit him. So I think it was like, once it got to me, he was like, yeah, I'm fucking, I'm not doing that. I love those dads that were coaches. Sure. Remember I saw Mr. Corkus one time,

he's talking, this was like 87. Sounds like you saw him getting a wedgie, Mr. Corkus. He was the real estate king in our area, man. He was awesome. And he, he, he could ring any studio apartment you need. Dude, he was talking, we're talking the burbs in the 80s. Big business. As those neighborhoods were all being built, he killed it.

But man, he had these like short shorts on one time. We had this old wooden bench. And you know those pinching bugs that you find? Pinchers. Behind the cushion of outdoor furniture? Yeah, pinchers. Which makes me, I always look. They might as well be scorpions.

I don't trust those chairs and that, that type of furniture at all. A wicker. They're like a beetle roach. A wicker, but a wicker Shays lounge with, yeah those. Those things. Pinscher bugs, signs of, what is it? Airwigs that they're called? Get me out of those. I just know them as pincers. I mean, look at that.

That's a dinosaur. That and a daddy long leg. Forget about it. But man, one of those latched on his inner thigh. He yikes. It looks like he got shot Yeah, this shit out of this Yeez. Well, those things give me the creeps. Ah Look at that thing. Yeah, those are things are prehistoric man. I that's in the back, too Do they pinch or is it just a pinch? Okay, get you. Uh, yeah, I don't know. I don't think I've ever been daddy long legs. Don't tell they don't mess with you

I think they're fine I think they're actually like one of those things that are like good because they eat the other bugs or whatever I don't know what I was doing the PR for spiders of the over the past decade has really earned their cash because they're really Don't touch a spider spiders are great. They eat the box spider eat the bugs in the house Get no I can't kill them them what the spiders I can unless it's a hairy scary one and he's in he's in the perimeter But if he's up in the corner, I'll let him go your nuts I can you enter my my my my my abode you're getting gone I don't care what you are only roaches and mosquitoes and I catch one of those things on a wrong night

I'll get a near full one of those pinching bugs real talking to me. I'll go out there as family send them to his room Be in there. He ain't happy Okay, this one's from Christopher $10 shareholder is it garbage if garlic bread in your household consisted of toasted white bread with butter and garlic powder on it? I mean, my stepdad would do that, and I thought he was a Michelin star chef. I tell you what, man. Just the idea of I can do this at home.

I was like, what the? I'm like, we just got garlic bread now? That's crazy. Dude, you take an old hamburger bun, throw a little butter and some garlic salt on there put that in the oven Let's go dude He would put it in like a can think a bowl and whip it up to get like whip that up sure that Maybe like a child or something a parsley or oregano

And then if we were if we had a French or like Italian loaf of bread that we were doing like pasta or whatever and like they stopped and grabbed that on the way home. On those or many a time it was white, just white bread. But man, you couldn't tell me shit. Looking in the toaster to the butter melts perfectly. Cause if it gets too liquidy, you're fucked. You gotta make a little skinny sandwich. Woo! Soaking up some fucking.

Dude, that would have sided with,, that on the side of a bowl of buttered noodles. Somebody was defending you the other day with your sugar bread. Wasn't your, what's your sugar bread recipe? Grilled cheese with powdered sugar. Oh no. I thought you did plain sugar bread. No dude, I wasn't-

That sounds like something you made up. Didn't you, I thought you made- I'll have a sugar bread plain please. I thought you- I thought you made a sugar bread plain please I'm one of them hoity-toity boy. I thought you said your mom did like make homemade cinnamon toast like butter sugar and cinnamon No, I don't believe so somebody was defending that I saw an Instagram storypost of someone doing yeah, I think it was butter and sugar as To say yeah, and they went off to the mine for their shift. Yeah, we never did any of that.

That's what it was, powdered sugar on grilled cheese. Weird. That was, yeah, that's too much. You know what made you feel like a millionaire the first time you had it? I probably didn't have it until I was 25. Twice baked potato? God, I love a twice baked potato.

Love a TBP. Every baked, every potato should be baked twice. Yeah, what are we doing here? Scoop it out, whip it up, put it back in. The frozen ones just had that flavor. And they were like, they were puffed, they were... They were like out of the bag. They had the texture to them, like the little,

little swirl. Dude, I'm not even fucking around a six pack of those. Sad in my freezer for about 38 years. Dude, Dave, those things were so freezer burned. And like every time I was so disappointed, I'd open up the fucking freezer and see them things and have to lift them up, see what's on there. They just stayed in there.

Then they got moved to the outside fridge. I'm like, oh, let's give it up. We're not gonna eat these things. The thing I'm talking about though, made you feel like a millionaire, is the garlic bread from the freezer aisle that came pre-packaged in the tinfoil that you threw it in the oven.

Buddy, come on. We never had that. So good. Unbelievable. They sell them fresh now. Yeah, you get them fresh. They're pretty good. They'd be like in the bakery aisle, right? Yes. Like the hand rolled tin foil thing. Yes.

I think my step mom used to do those, but they were a little too like, they had like kind of minced garlic on the top and as a little too spicy. Oh, baby. You might as well been from Spain or something with that. You lose the habaneros honey. Yeah, what the fuck dude dude that was nuts. You need a bowl of kicks to cool this off. I remember the first time too my wife gave me a ginger shot. Man I thought I ate a firecracker dude. Not this broad poison me. What? I just thought it was like ginger in like just one of those like little shooters and she's like oh this is good for whatever. I was like alright I to almost hit her I was like that's no you gotta give me a fucking heads up I

love those things it's close to get to whiskey these days sure I get it now I just didn't know I was expecting a sweet treat that was I was cruel I was wrong thought it'd be like Sorbet yeah I was wrong nice bowl of sherbet um the Texas toast rain supreme that my stepmom shout out to our ex stepmom introduced to me That was wrong, dude. Nice bowl of sherbet. The Texas toast, rain supremo as a kid. That my stepmom shout out to or ex stepmom introduced me to that. There is, and we've discussed this, but. The Texas toast.

In, there is a window of taking that out of the oven. That is about 0.2 nanoseconds long, where it is perfect. Where the outside is crusty, and then there's a heaviness in the center. In the soggy. Where it like sinks down.

Uh-huh. But I, so then they got to like a not great both then when they sat and got room temperature or cold. Oh my God. Because then we- Dude, I would eat a fucking, I'd eat four bowls of fucking pasta. Three pieces of that, go upstairs, watch WWF come back downstairs and that would still be in the basket like sitting. Grab a heater. I'd get a Wawa iced tea and one of them, maybe two of them on a plate. I can take them up to my room for no no time.

Hold all my calls. The fat kid and I used to just eat a lot of everything. I do, I remember. They should have put the kibob. Listen, I ain't blaming my parents. They just didn't know. I was unsupervised. Didn't know.

They didn't. We should be in the half of sauce paying a rice errone in nine o'clock They were telling us clean the goddamn kitchen up, buddy We're telling us have six to eleven servings of carbs a day I had to get I didn't I needed something to power me through my video game session You need brain food. I know have a little bread. They told me that yeah Do the throne that out. I remember the first I'm not even joking.

The first time I was up to Poconos, my family and a bunch of other families, like my dad's ex-business partners or whatever, all got in together on a Pocono, like a cabin. And I think we only ever used it twice before like everything dissolved. But I remember have biting and sipping for my first time ever and it was a can, I was six probably.

Holy shit. Dude, it was a can of Coke and a, and gold, pepperage farm goldfish. And all the kids were playing upstairs like some like board game. I was too young to play. So I was just watching, but I remember. You were mapping up a future.

I would run down every like, I was like, but I remember you were mapping out the future. I Would run down every like I was like dictated to it I would run I would do it and like I remember eating goldfish and standing at the fridge crushing and being like this is too much This is too many goldfish, and this is too many so good And I I look back on that was like and I literally go that was the turning point for me on that and was like, and I literally go, that was the turning point for me. Salt, cheesy, sugary, sweet, effervescent, cold. And I, the can was half open. I would do some sweat and the sips and then put it in the fridge and run back up to see what was going on and then run back down.

And I think that is the moment I became a fat ass. I'm not even lying. It was that moment I went, I'll never be the same. Sure. This is the life for me. I chose a life of crime. The went, I'll never be the same. Sure. This is the life for me. I chose a life of crime. The bite and sip.

The bite and sip. Yeah. I probably crushed a bag of fucking goldfish at six years old. Yeah. Everybody's drinking at the table. I'm floating between the adults and the older kids. Mine was similar, but it was Cheez-Its.

It was Cheez-Its and I think like a, the Screamin' Cold Coke or Pepsi. Nothing's better. Yeah. Nothing's better than Cheez-its. It was cheez-its and I think like a, the Screamin' Cold Coke or Pepsi. Nothing's better. Yeah. Nothing's better than chees- Wheat things. Don't bag a thing of wheat things in it and a bite and sip on it on-

Triskets are better. Get out of here with that. You're nuts. It's Trisk- Triskets stink. For a bite and sip? No, you think, are you sure you have them right, the shredded wheat ones?

That's a Triskit. You're thinking wheat things. No. Wheat things to cracker. I'm's a Trisket. You're thinking wheat thens. No. Wheat thens the cracker. I'm thinking of Trisket. You're a Trisket guy? They're the best bite and sip. They're so much more absorbed. The wheat thens don't absorb the liquid.

What are you, a divorce lady? Wheat thens don't absorb. Yeah, that's an NPR cracker, dude. What are you talking about? No, they have flavors. Man. Get the Rosemary. Couple of those for your Avon.

Google the Rosemary Tuscancan blend it's to die for yeah pairs well with PBS dork what are you talking about no that and your vibrator in your soccer or man trisks are better they have a deeper taste and the wheat things are like plastic we have a solid all right on the same line of the same vein have a touch of sea salt one or something the The wheat things are like plastic. We can do solid. All right. On the same line, on the same vein.

They have a touch of sea salt one or something. The other item in the- That's new age shit. They've been having that for fucking 20 years. Sea salt, sea salt wasn't invented until like three years ago. What are you talking about? You're wrong. The other like frozen item that I always saw I never got

was the tin foil like container of the pre-made cinnamon rolls. That would never, yeah. It was always Pillsbury, huh? Frozen? Yeah. We never did cinnamon rolls like that. Yeah, we did. We did the twos. I never said you didn't.

What the fuck? Yeah, we did. I never had dinner with you, jerk off. What the fuck? This guy's made about triscuits. Call my mama liar. Yeah, we never did those. We would do the Pillsbury round like the the croissant not the croissants like the regular Jones Yeah, they were burnt every night too, but pop them out throw the icing on it icing was always a nightmare. No never did that

All right, let's see here This one's just funny. This is from Josh. He's ever been served papers? No. No, I kind of want, I don't want to, but it would be. Movies make that job look so cool. Oh yeah, you feel like a spa. You got a trunk full of costumes. Is that how it goes down?

Have you ever been served papers? No. But that's the rule, I think if you say. You know somebody that's been served papers. I'm sure most of my family have been. Actually, I've been served papers, but they just came to my house and dropped something off. Yeah, they get that guy if they can't find you.

Like if you're like- As a doctor. What? The Bush. No, it was for an accident that I got in years ago. An accident that I got in Jersey, yeah. The one that you haven't stopped bringing up every week for, I don't know, 14 years.

Yeah, that guy served. Get over it. You wanna talk about my dad hitting the panic button when that guy came that it's over. Yeah, you're all nuts. Woo! Wee! I mean, you can't.

Started bleaching my hair. We're on the run. We try to sue someone in my family to tell you to get in the line. Better hope there's something left by the time the fucking vultures are done with me. These bones have been picked clean. Yeah, no, I haven't, but I think they only resort to that

if you're refusing service. Like if the guy comes to serve you and you're not answering the door, that's when they get, you know. Time to bring out the clown shoes. Yeah, that's when they get tricky and know. Trying to bring out the clown shoes. Yeah, that's when they get tricky and throw, you know, through some fast ones. There's a little bit of great summer job doing that.

Probably get your ass beat, won't you? Sure, it's like tow truck driving. They know, that's not like fucking, that's like, hey, can you fight type shit? There's a tow truck driver on Instagram that's real nice with it. He sneaks right in. Oh, I like those.

And he's got cameras set up everywhere. There's one guy. There's one guy I don't like. He shows up with like a woman. It's like a, and like, he's just like tries to fight the guy. It's like looking for trouble. Yeah, it's like, dude, this is, you know, the cameras are on your mic. Dump. You're just doing this for con just, and the guy's having a bad day. Just take his car and get the fuck out of him. But hey, you get guy, you get got, you know what I mean? Now, no papers other than that. Well, I guess so, yeah. I tell you, I've been getting a couple of... I don't know if I told you, I think you got a couple of calls from a lawyer in Long Island City.

What? I've gotten two or three. They don't leave a message, but that's the number. I don't know. There's nothing they could get me for. There's nothing I have outstanding. Eeeeeee I did get in a car accident with that taxi cab before that was three years ago at this point When I that was the that was the last stroll for the Montego one. That was when I got member uh I have no idea what you're talking about. I was living down the shore. Toby get our things. I was living there's in the early days of

I was living down the shore and I was driving up to record. I don't remember this at all. I don't know, okay. And I Christ smashed a taxi came, allegedly, for comedy purposes, I'm telling the story. They would leave a message. Hello, Mr. Ryan. And that was fucking four years ago, I never heard of that.

I mean, that's the only thing it could be. You gotta answer that call. Yeah, no I don't. That's fully shit. The Ryan's don't thing it could be. You gotta answer that call. Yeah, no I don't. That's fully shit. The Ryan's don't answer calls from the Thernies. They usually get me eventually because I want to know what it is. No. Oh yeah, I can put my head on the pillow and go, whatever it is, you ain't getting it.

Kick rocks, buddy. I get some company in Chicago. Harris and Harris keep reaching out to me for some like LabCorp bill for like 80 bucks or something. No. That's gonna be a no for me, dog. And for that reason, I'm out. Keep it moving. Yeah, no, I don't I don't I don't answer any calls or any numbers that I don't know. Well, now it's pretty tough for business purposes. That stuff has kind of gone downhill so bad. Well, no, it's just robo. So it's all.

I know, but they used to be able to get you. They'd be able to get you on the phone. They'd be able to scare you. Mr. Cortdake, they'd be able to scare you. Yeah, but I'm saying it was one guy calling. Now it's just a computer that just makes a thousand calls a second. Nobody picks up those calls.

People are picking up those calls. People are picking up those calls. Yeah. It's also like they used to have a room full of 400 guys calling people. Now it's like there's two guys and they have AI that does it now. They can just hear you and you're like,

ah yeah, I'll give you 50 bucks and they go, okay, hit the secured line for fucking credit card transfer me. Everything that you. Is it a robot pretending to be a surgeon? your robot pretend to be a surgeon You've been served you've been served all right this one's from Mike haven't had one red Wilkes bear homie shout out to you There it is WB holy original birthplace of H. Moley That's right. Is it garbage to take your car to the car wash instead of cleaning off the snow I live about 30 seconds from a car wash instead of cleaning the snow off the car

I started driving to the car wash and washing it off. That's pretty sweet. I guess it's one of the That's smart talk about stop you come out clean when everybody's all salted up Wouldn't that ice up? Or they have a little that would have a little chemical in it. I don't know. It's gotta have a little something. It's gotta have something that doesn't freeze salt or something in it.

Yeah, that's a good idea. I would do that all the time. I got to get mine down there. I haven't, what dude? I haven't. Mine's bad. Dude, I haven't watched this car in probably like a year. You're not in it as much either.

No. But yeah. But that salt eats away. And I hate the impression of the wipers and it's it's like frosted on the I got bad wipers I gotta take care terrible there's minor I want to get that rain next stuff that stuff's great I know I even need the wipers it's one of those things too well I'm never gonna remember to replace them but I was driving to New York the other day and it was fucking raining.

On the new car? Yeah. The wipers stink. It was a used car. Really? We got to replace the wipers. Huh. That's where their margins are. Said I get you.

Yeah, that thing might be a limit, I'm not sure. Aftermarket double wipers. Neon green. All right, let's do one more and then we gotta roll. This is a little more of a debate. This one's from good old JR. Garbage or genius, I order an Uber to my home, which is the furthest along the route

of two other coworkers who just simply get out at the red lights and walk the couple blocks to their home instead of programming and paying for the additional stop. You see what I'm saying? You get away with that. Well, if you're at a red light and you just, what are they gonna say, get I'm saying? You're surprised they let you get away with that. Well, if you're at a red light and you just, what are they gonna say, get in the car? You can just be like,

oh, actually I'm gonna hop out here. He says, I've had, I have not, I've not had many complaints about this behavior. That means some, but my Uber rating has taken a noticeable dip since doing this. Sure, so three guys getting the car with one destination. The driver thinks all these three guys are going to this one destination. The driver thinks, oh, these three guys are going to this one destination.

They're all going to 34th Street and then at 23rd Street, someone hops out. It's like. Two guys hop out at two different stops. That's bad. That's pushing it. Yeah. If somebody's like, actually, you know what?

Change of plans. I'm gonna hop out here and go, I would have some sort of storyline too. Like you're cutting through the parking lot. Ah Just shit my I gotta hop out a fake a fake. I have to throw up. We'll get you out of a lot. Sure. That's not bad Yeah, I yeah, I I Don't see how they can get up. I because they're they're not going anywhere else like by the rulebook They're going to 34 Street They're not making any other turns. I was just getting out of the car.

It doesn't matter if there's one person in that car or four people in that car. But that's two more stops that you'd be getting. You'd be making more money. But he's not making any stops. I understand. Like he's just, he's going that way. In his eyes, he's losing money.

Oh, you cheap bastard. You don't want me to drop you off. So you're just, you know, whatever. I mean, I, yeah, sure, I get that that but I'm saying like also at the end of the day you're not super wrong to be doing that no you do that in a cab it's fine see does this from work every day very you know I guess a good amount man he says does it with co-workers it's pretty smart I don't know I don't know how small the town he lives in but that's New York. Oh, it was an oh, what? Yeah, fuck it. It's lolers. Yeah, come on

It's every man say something. It's every man for himself. I thought he lived in a civilization. No, no, no Yeah, the front lines of this thing. Yeah. Yeah, I ride behind it on a skateboard Give me do some sketching Marty McFly style, but we got to wrap it up gang gang Tell you this all the time. We love you to death. Mm-hmm grab some tickets for the through the roof tour We're very excited about it. It's gonna be sick. See you sit down. All see us at the Wilbur See us in any city that we're in we love you very much. It was seen next week