Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Trashy Road Trips w/ Kippy & Foley

Episode Date: May 2, 2024

Are You Garbage is back with Kippy and Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. Its a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! Through the Roof Tour Tickets: https://areyougarbage.com/ Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/ PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Liquid IV: https://www.liquid-iv.com Promo Code: Garbage Manscaped: https://www.manscaped.com Promo Code: Garbage Box of Awesome: https://www.BoxOfAwesome.com Promo Code: GARBAGE Sheath: https://www.sheathunderwear.com/ Promo Code: Garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

Gang, you want to come to the biggest show the RU Garbage has ever done? New York City, New York! That's right, we're going to be at Town Hall, May 9th! Do yourself a favor, grab the squad, grab some tickets, I want to see everybody there! Yeah, it's a good time, live stand-up, plus we play AYG with the crowd, you've seen the clips, it's a good time, it's your chance to get your garbage question read live at a very nice theater that we shouldn't be in, RUGarbage.com for tickets. Welcome to another exciting edition of RUgarbage,

the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is R.U. Garbage. Little show, we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that they grew up to be classy.

They're just a big old piece of trash. I'm your host H. Foley coming at you on a lovely day. We're out back here at Tooties in a new edition. She's trying to make some dinner reservations for us tonight. She wants us all to go out as a family. Okay. She wants to have a nice meal and then run out on a check. I'm with it.

Keep it all together. Down. Family bonding activity. Got your running shoes on. She said bring a little bag of roaches just in case. Sprinkle them on the plates. So we get a free. My co-host is coming at you from across the table.

He is a CEO of are you garbage? He is an international businessman can be very crude sometimes to creative talent give it up for KJ Kevin James Ryan what up working on that old god damn? No, no two seconds before we start he said hold on give me a second. So I do it. I like to be in the moment What up gang? Thanks for tuning in as always please make sure you review subscribe on iTunes Full video available new to as you know those numbers are... Twitter of... Cookin'.

And obviously the greatest website of all time, you go over there www.patreon.com slash RU Garbage. You get up to three bajillion hours worth of bonus content. Then my second favorite website, if you ever want to go see a live show, if you're in New York City, I don't know, on May 9th, and you want to hang with the boys, go over to RUgarbage.com, get tickets to that town hall show, gang. The beautiful town hall theater. It's a beautiful theater, you know.

We're going to look at a place in there. Oh yeah, Toby's going to be hitting the vape, they're going to have the cops after us. I'm wearing my best Hawaiian shirt. Get it custom made. One of only two. Gang, how about a nice shout out to our producer, Xshorten, the old magic man. Makes us all look good. Works the ones, the twos, the threes, and the fours.

He crosses the T's and he dots the I's. And I'm having deja vu. Give it up for T-Bone McScruffins. Toby McMullen, everybody. What up, boys? Hey, pal. What up, T-Bone? Ah, man, I walked outside.

Beautiful clear skies. I'm ready for a summer day. I'm ready to pop open a damn fire hydrant and have a New York City summer summer It's freezing. Yeah, it looks nice, but it's cold ready to commit crimes So are you gonna do huh open fire hydrants? You know you got to make sure the pressure is good I'm doing the city a favor listen. That's a thing obviously in most major cities You know they get the water plug they open it up on a hot day man when I was living in that apartment in Washington Heights With no air conditioning, hot summer. Did you go down there and mix it up with the kids?

No, down there with a pool noodle fucking hitting somebody. Chicken fights! You got ribs going. Pollo fights. I was thinking you're in like a lifeguard suit spinning a whistle. No running! No horseplay guys, no. But you'd be walking on the block and you'd be on the subway, the so hot Then the elevator up was so hot the tunnels are hot sure you get out and you're just hit with more hotness

Humid muggy, but then you turn that corner and man It really does the temperature of the block goes down called fat ass a couple of times really cool you off Maybe some of them Doritos what? Man the temperature goes down it lowers the temperature on the block like cool. That's like coming from the center of the earth or something. I don't know where that water is coming from. Till the bodega catches on fire and you're all screwed. I used to work at a restaurant that had outdoor seating, very elegant.

And in the summer, they would have a little line going around and it sprayed mist. Ah, yeah. Like on the vegetables. Dude, that was the first time I... You know what I'm talking about? At the grocery store. There ain't nothing classier than that thing spraying. It makes our fruit look fresh. That's new and that's kind of everywhere at this point.

But I remember, dude, remember the first time, have you ever seen... It was to keep the bugs out or the cold, like it would be like the fan blowing by the door like down That was like oh, yeah I think it does that can you see what I thought it was bugs, but maybe it helps keep the air conditioning I think I think it's bugs and and the AC and I know that a lot of first time I saw one of them in the winter

They have that when you open the door and walk in you get a blast of heat that comes down on yeah that air dude I remember being somewhere else off you with me my dad and my brother all going what the hell is We're all putting our hands through it and stuff. Do we were fucking shocked the waitstaff is just We're all vacation so first time indoors boys We do we where we're like no my boss go take a look at that. I ran up man Anything that shocks her if you're not staying here, I'm like, go take a look at that. I ran up, man. Anything that shocks us. Sir, if you're not staying here, you can't be inside. You're heating the hot dog up underneath you.

Anything that shocks the family as a family is usually pretty trashy. Yes. When everyone's around, oh my god, you see that? Everyone's shocked by it. That was one of those things that sticks in my brain of, my family saw that technology for the first time in the 90s and my dad,

who owns a mechanical contracting company, was stumped by it. It's like when you watch funny some videos for the first time as a family. Sure. Man, that was the peak of comedy right there. Some guy getting hit in the nuts or hitting the head with a board or something.

Shout out to Mr. Sackett. The name for this device is awesome. Airblaster. Schmeller. Air curtain. Yeah, air curtain. That's pretty good. Yeah. And air curtain is a device that creates a barrier of air across the entire opening of a door that separates two environments. This is official. Man. This feels like when the guys go in the labs and it's like, yeah, it's very, that's what it, dude, I felt like a DNA scientist. What is that for? What is that for by the way? What what can't what dust is really that bad? They got a blast all the equal off you and stuff No, I mean when they're like building microprocessors and stuff like that you see them in that micro processes Frank when they walk in

And then they have to you got to do all that static free environment I think they call it clean room no trouble oh man you don't want any drama in there walk into that room and bankrupt a company where you guys do with your boogers what but it keeps it keeps the cold air in hot air out and bugs and stuff yeah okay imagine being a bug and hitting that. Johnny, we're home now! Fucking... Goddamn. They would probably take a pigeon out too.

Fucking throw him into the ground, too sweet. Snagging your fat ass on the ground. It's like Twist Air, I'm holding on to something. Oh man, I was leaving a Thai place by my apartment and they had a little vestibule. And there was a pigeon in it. That was high stakes, man. Doing Thai food Yeah, all right that was sky would I would have to go out the back door if there was a pigeon in a vestibule

I don't mess with that those things. Yeah, they're a knife fight to begin with I Like when there's always when there's birds in the mall, but we can see a burn only or my I was just at a mall Not too long ago. There's a bird in the food court, and I'm like how long he been in here He's working. He's got a chain while long from Spencer's working on a sunglass Hey, you're not gonna buy get the hell out of here We Gang we're here for what we like to call a family episode Yes, just the boys the bozos and Naomi's just the way we like like to circle the wagons every once a while check in

They have a good time. Mm-hmm. Okay. Sounds like you're okay. Big man's on one today. Gookie-pookie. Little screw balls. I know. Toby gave me this water.

I think he dosed me. Yeah. Toby was screwing the cap back on the water. He's like, here, this is for you. You thought that was going to fly. I wasn't screwing it back on. I was making sure it was unopened in my eyes. Yeah, your big meat hook turning around.

He's not going to go for that. I enjoy it. I like the germs. You don't like to suck down some of these big dick beaters. One step closer. Hello, maybe mine will grow. I don't know. maybe that shit's contagious I love it sprinkle some of that shmeg moan me it deep me some of that hog

I got nothing big hog tankin Gang so as you know when you join a patreon we'll answer your garbage question on the air And we got a couple of humdingers. I love it. Ah this one. I just put it together this one's from Anita heater I just realized it's that heater HEE der Ten dollar homie never had one red is a garbage of my mom had me sleep in my outfit for the next day if we Were starting a road trip early whoo that was big bet like I feel like even minutes back in it It was like you gotta get we'd shower the night before. I get it, but it's like how on time, how early do we have to be here? I don't know man, but I can-

Like waking up and you're on the road in six minutes? Yeah. Let me brush my goddamn teethies. You don't know what Patti Foley was like in the morning in the 80s. She would lie to you, she would say it was 20 minutes later than it was,'d come in get up freak out scare this shit out of you You know I have that alarm that oh Reminds you my mother's your sweet sweet tone in the morning never that so waking up into a patty fully Psyop Oh, man, he had no shit. Where are the codes what? She's blasted Metallica

Screaming the Russians are coming. Holy shit. That's crazy. Your hogtied. Real Gitmo shit. She's wearing a German helmet. There was something ready to go about those moments

of a road trip or whatever. It felt like you were getting up at 4 a.m. Which we did one sometimes yeah, we did we had I played Hockey for a handful of years in my early professional yeah overseas South America, that's that you know that uh ice-tie is early early call He's fucking 515 545 that kind of shit my dad

He was up with the ass crackin on anyway, not a bit of a light sleeper. I've had a coffee. Oh, yeah Heater I assume yeah, so coffee heaters and like sometimes you would get a little ready at home of like You know I got something on because it's such a big process all that gear sure that's you get there You got to set up if you're running late So sometimes kids would be like I already have my fucking you know they take the pants on pants on with the pants pants or pat dude Stick save Dude my I'm not even fucking around one time I'm I was we were pulling up and my buddy got out of the car

Which was like a 45 minute ride because it was an away game he got out of the car in full gear skates dude skates and he had like the cover on them helmet every dude sit in the car sit in a Toyota Corolla with a helmet gives a goddamn winner dude gloves everything I want to be like when did you did you sleep in that that's fucking insane and also I remember it was one of those cars that had the mechanical seatbelt. So he's probably all wrapped up in there with the stick and shit.

Things are weird. Dude, the world's sweatiest feet on that kid. Oh man. That hockey stuff. Dude, imagine pulling up next to him and being like, what the fuck? You're at a stoplight and there's a kid midline shift next to you.

You got a game today, buddy? No. What kind of game? He's just going, well, I come out of this box, I'm next to you. You got a game today buddy? No. What kind of game? He's just going, well I come out of this box I'm coming after you. I don't ever remember sleeping in my clue. No the big thing was shower that if we had something it was shower the night before because I'm not dealing with I'm not getting everybody showered or tubby time or whatever it was. Did you remember I didn't know showering in the morning was an option. I thought I thought I mean this kid. No, I thought kids

I thought it was like a federal law kids had to shower at night and parents got to do it in the morning Their hair was just gonna be fucked up all day and a real static the worst It's crazy how you learn like learning not to wash my hair every day because it gets you know, it's it's thin fine, and it gets real staticky and bad. And knowing that, I mean, think of how much better of a student I might've been if- A little fucking, a little morning woosh over the face. Yeah, if in- A little cold plug.

If in elementary school, I would've known to got up, take a nice shower, brush my teeth, all that kind of stuff, coffee in a heater, and then head off to grade school. It seemed to work for my old man. He used to spring out the door. The first time I learned the difference in that, the first time I took a, not even a bath. I thought baths, obviously baths to me were for kids,

showers were for adults. The first time I took a shower in the morning before elementary school was at my dad's after the divorce and I like hit us like whatever, like cause he was a single dad when he had up. That's divorce dad shit right there. Dude I remember in a, dude not even a tub. Making your own breakfast.

It was a stand up shower and I was confused dude. I'm like give me a dry run here. I don't know what's, I felt like I was in prison. I was nervous and scared and he's like carry up He's in there like drying his he's like getting ready next to me. I'm like what the fuck you're standing there with your rubber ducky Yeah, that was I remember that was a it was a blue bathroom and it was a Wake that house was so unfinished, dude. So unfinished. Me?

There's no tub. I didn't, you don't know what's going on. Well, that was in the master bed. That was in the bathroom off his room. But me and my brother slept on like two single beds that looked like, you know, where Al-Qaeda would hide. It was rough. And then he redid my sister's bed bedroom.

I think trying to She they bumped heads a lot or do to the divorce trying to keep her happy I did yeah, so he was like I'll go out he bought her like I you know I'm really gonna make it nice and man the rest of the house was like a fucking we were going to the mattresses Benjamin Fallujah it was like a stakeout house Who's getting sandwiches? Hey, what does forget about it? My dad comes in with a fucking AR 15 in the trash bag Back in our cars in the garage yeah, it was that was that made me Cuz he was like I'm not fucking giving you a path. They're 12 years old kid

Getting there to be some a path or 12 years old kid Get in there and be some fuck go to cops Like this is a setup Yeah, I already got an I already got the cords breathing down my neck about custody. What's your fully dressed in the hockey stuff? I've told you this but I always think about. The only time we ever really did something like that where it was like all hands on deck, we're leaving early, everybody ready, was when we drove to Texas

from Mountaintop. We left in the middle of the night. They put down the seats in the back. We had to hatch back. All the clothes and stuff were pushed to the back, and we got to lay down and look at the roof. Best time ever. Wow, pretty good.

Good times. I had a morning time ever. Yeah, pretty good. Good times. I had a morning time growing up question for you kids. Sure. Did you have a different meal on test days? Yeah. What? I wanna say so. On like, not like vocab tests, but like standardized test days that was like.

How would they know? Cause like, we had the PSSAs, or like the state mandated, you had to take them in like eighth grade and 10th grade and 12th grade or something. You had to do them. Yeah, my mom. Sure, I did them, but.

PSSAs, I think they were called. They were like, make sure you get brain food. My mom would whip up an egg sandwich that would knock your dick in the dirt. Really? Oh yeah, I lied about having test subdubs. Huh. I gotta test every day this week.

I'm really cranking them out. Improve the breakfast situation. I would do that with carbohydrates, tell her I was running test every day this week. Yes, really cranking them out improve the breakfast I would do that with carbohydrates tell her I was running a marathon the next day I'll load up and a little fettuccine for breakfast See what I did there I saw Your parents and I don't feel like my I guess Pia the the PS tees what are they called PS? I think they were called the PSSA's or some no no no the SATs yes, ats PSA tees maybe that the SATs they knew pretty stupid sure are

They knew about that stuff, but I don't think they were aware of When I had things like that going on made picture day and stuff like that. They throw a nice shirt on me sure That's about it, but they weren't aware of that stuff. I know they weren't that up on my schooling my brother a little bit I tell me at a real young age. They knew this kid's dumb. This ain't gonna work I've met me that checks out dumping the resources in that take your toast them and get out of the house Fed-ass out of the house. Fat ass. Hey, rude. The hell? I need to make it personal. Hey, there's no icing on this. Shut up.

Shut up, you fat ass. I love you too, Ma. My brother's getting tuna fish. Liquid IV, liquid IV, liquid IV. Gang, summer's coming. It's getting hot. You like boozing? You like going out and getting banged up? You're gonna need something to revitalize yourself in the morning.

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You got to call the coast guard. Keep the nuts clean. Take care of the boys. The rock star of the organization over there, that lawn mower 4.0. Use it in the shower. It's got a light ceramic blades, never jams up, great power on it, smooth sailing. 4.0 is old news big guy. They got the 5.0 ultra What they all come with they got the 3.0 the 4.0 and a 5.0. They take carrier. They're innovator They do make moves They're constantly innovating all manscape trimmers even come with a travel case and a travel lock feature It's time to do the damn thing upgrade the manscape and have the best pubes ever whether you like a nice little trim something short you go bald eagle like The kid whatever you want

It's up to you get 20% off and free shipping with the code garbage at Manscaped.com That's 20% off and free shipping with the code garbage at Manscaped.com You want the best for your boys and you want them to look the best they've ever looked you trust Manscaped Do it. Do it. I remember one memory that's that that stands out I guess my mom was off work or work in nights or whatever it was she was around that day And my brother and sister were probably in junior high And so they have it in eighth grade seventh and eighth grade for us hell of a ninth at the time Ooh, our school was seventh eighth and ninth. That's weird

That would suck. I would I loved, our school was seventh, eighth and ninth. That's weird. That would suck. I would, I love the high school was freshmen, sophomore, junior, senior, because that freshman year you need that buffer. You're rolling out of high school in 10th grade? Yeah, I think to me, I mean, I don't know if it really matters to me. This is one of those things where like,

I experienced it this way. This was the best. I mean, the arguments like, it's cooler that when you're ninth grade year, you're big fish, small pond. You're, I was running shit. I guess you were you look at adult Yeah, the difference between eighth and ninth grade many with the skinny was buying us beers fucking you got a little fucking seventh graders We're not on flexing on this maybe that wouldn't be bad that always goes back to my fantasy that I always wanted to go to that That boarding school that what's it called not junior college prep school for an extra year that shit

And I'm not at that was no none of that stuff ever. I never got to be Johnny cool guy. What a nice You're pretty cool now Thank you. I was talking to Toby I Put my mom it had snowed in like April and they made it, they gave a two hour delay and I found out they were already up and my mom, I woke up, I come stumbling down probably, I don't know, second, third grade, something like that. Wiping all the fucking eye boogies out of my eye. My mom's got pancakes going on like a Wednesday dude April pain I'm like who's dead yeah I'm like what the hell and she goes there's like a little bit of snow on the ground like two-hour delay North Koreans broke through I'll see you in a bunker I'll be in the girls base squirrel beat after this oh yeah it's the last meal

fucking old L of mine of pancakes She used to make them thick too. I don't know what she was doing. They were all right Man the perfect amount of char on them I love my mom's Ain't telling me nothing. That's my dad did all the pancake cooking in my house Yeah, well my dad left so my mom had they weren't gonna get They weren't gonna get made it. She'll be a little burnt a little cold by the time. I got them um but hold on so she goes they go uh

My brother and sister have like a glimmer in their eye and my mom's like I'm like what the hell's going on She's like two hour delay. I said, and pancakes? All right. And my mom goes, I'm not making you guys go to school today. What? Greatest day of my life. She goes, it's snowing in April. Who knows what the hell's next? I said, all right, let's go. I like that pattern, don't I? Yeah. You ain't leaving the house, it's snowing in April. Stay home.

I'm not coming to get you. Stay off to keep the phone lines clear. Yeah. I'm not coming to pick you up through revelations Pick you up you're speaking in tongues Yeah, I was like that memory sticks as one day. She's like you were as a family. We're chillin I love it. I want the blockbuster got a couple of videos. I know you're fat ass. We're back to bed for Couple of videos. I know you're fat ass. We're back to bed for a couple Keep those pancakes on I'll see you in 45. I had some unfinished business upstairs with miss Cindy Crawford

It was a young man at the time Love that that was a fantastic one. The two-hour delay is the biggest ripoff ever I remember every time we got a two-hour lay, I would think to myself, I hope this bus crashes. And then I kill myself. Man, you're so I do. You're so spiteful. I hope it crashes and my mom sues everybody. And I used to picture the superintendent. I don't know if everybody hated the superintendent. I don't even know who it was. But he's that's where the blame started and ended. That's where the buck stopped.

God damn superintendent doesn't know what he's doing over there. He's like the mayor for the school. Mayor for the school. Comes in, he's got his new policy. My mom used to curse his name. I don't think she ever met the guy. We had a guy, assistant principal, Mr. Greenland.

Took a lot of heat. And Flip. Flip got in trouble. I think Flip got suspended or detained for going, Flip would go, I'm Danny Greenland. The guy would get so mad. Hi, I'm Danny Greenland. And dude, he's so-

What'd you say? Dude, his shirt was a bulb. He looked like, uh, He looked like Mr. Krueger from from Seinfeld. The hair was all fucked. He looked like a disheveled Mr. Krueger. His shirt was always on top. Greenwood, you couldn't smooth a silk shirt if you had it. I'm Danny Greenland. That and my mother's smokes. It's alright.

Good times. All right, let's see here. This one's from Jose. Shout out to you Salutations garbage godfathers is it garbage if your aunt names her daughter after herself I've heard fathers naming their sons after themselves, but never a mother for example. Her name is Tabitha, Jr Oh, that's we that's rough Now I don't know. That's a that's a to me. That's rough. No, I don't know. That's to me, that's a gender specific. This is Tommy Jr. This is fucking Timothy Jr. The third for women though.

Maybe I could. Megan Jr. Okay, Jr. no. But Lil Kathy, Lil Kath. I get like, hey, I'm Megan and I'm naming my daughter Megan as well. That's even, now that I say it. But then you're not.

I don't think I know anybody with that. I think I've never heard of that before. That's even not I say it No, I don't think I've know anybody with her to that before it's only men your grandmother sure like say yeah Say your mom's name is Kathy and your grandmother's name and her mom's name was Mary I'm gonna call her Mary after after my mom yeah, or like the middle name some sort of us It's whatever after my god and my grandmother my whatever that makes sense. Yeah, you never see that ever I my whatever. That makes sense. Yeah, you never see that. Ever. I yeah, it's crazy. Maybe I don't think if I would, I don't think a lot of little girls want to. Hi, I'm Cindy Jr. Is there no can I ask you to go is there no see if also I'm sorry, I'm

throwing something else. I see if junior is gender specific. Yeah, I was gonna say or see if there's a female version of that. You see if Junior is gender specific. Yeah, I was going to say or see if there's a female version of that like. Mrs. or something, the female equivalent of Junior is Junior. Oh, man, it's a rough broad. J.R. Yeah, I never heard of that. And I know Italians are, but the Irish are very my grandmother. It's like there's so many Kathleen's Catherine's, you know

Yeah, that's it's like Marie. It's all So and so my grandmother was this scribe. It's very well her name was Mary Catherine. Her name is Catherine Mary And when the guy sent to the lawyer that sent us over the thing about where my family was from They're all Terry William boom boom boom all down the line. Yeah, yeah very much Yeah, I mean that's that makes sense. I want to keep that going if I have kids When you thinking of starting? I don't know your 70s Or late bloomer see if your guys don't swim blue shoes All right, let's see here there this one's from Tyler $10 corporate responsibility representative

Ah like that's a guy really fucking represented Churching it up Ever had your dad convince a mechanic to forge an invoice showing a faulty speedometer in order to get used out of a speeding Ticket back in oh six. Holy shit. I never thought of that. No you probably mean Why do people get so mad? About getting pulled over? And the reason I asked this, because I was watching the Sopranos the other day where he gets pulled over by Rock.

Ever watch that show when he was on? He was the trash man. It was a family comedy on Fox. No, he was called a motorcycle cop and then was working at the Home Depot or the garden center. He was in a cruiser. But yes, he was a law enforcement officer. But like Tony got so mad. That's a power thing. That's 60 bucks. He was in a cruiser, but yes, he was he was a law enforcement officer

But like Tony got so mad. That's a power thing. That's 60 bucks. It gives a shit I know but that's a power thing to him. That's like hey, I'm taking care of you like you can't do this to me I know but anytime anybody regular people aren't getting that anytime anybody gets pulled over say what is he pulling me? Oh, this is crazy. There's people doing that you were speeding take the it I mean I got when I told you when I got pulled over in upstate New York, which I haven't taken care of that parking ticket, that ticket yet, they don't send me no. Oh, fuck. That's right, dude. They don't send me nothing. They're going to come looking for you. I please I probably got a bench worn out.

Send me something so I can pay. I don't have the information. See if there's a bounty on this guy. He don't do a little collecting. Dead or alive. Don't come in here. You've each got fucking baseball bats and handcuffs. Yeah dog the bounty hunter bounty law I Gotta get that take care. I don't know where I was There's I can't pay online. I'd have any checks and they don't send me nothing There was I can't pay online. I didn't have any checks and they don't send me nothing

Man, they're waiting for you to slip up. Yeah also, but when I got pulled over the cop was shocked He's like, you know why I pulled you over. I was like, yeah, I was speeding and he's like, yeah faster You know how fast you're going. It's like yeah, probably like 85 dude. I was just looking back there and he's like, alright There you go. I was like, alright. He was like he didn't know what to do I guess cuz most people go I have a can I yeah, whatever I've ever won time. That was my first time ever being pulled over second time ever being pulled over I was cruising through Bluebell one time not that long ago within the last 10 years I was cruising through I believe and I was having a heater and I drove by a speed trap Okay, and I think I a speed trap. Okay, and

I think I might have been high at the time smoking your reaper. So I, I instead of throwing the cigarette out the window when I was done, it was I was done with it. I field stripped it. Okay, and then kept it kept the smell brutal for the for the he's he rubbed the tobacco cherry and tobacco out Yeah And just paper because that's really the where the littering is is in the filter that shit don't go that's forever chemicals Whatever the hell are called. That's around for a long time. I ended up in a turtle stomach. That ain't cool

Dude pulls hits the kids to cherries on me pulls me over for doing it saw it pulls over He's like guy comes in a window. He's like he's like I saw you throw that cigarette butt out the window and I go this one and he goes. Oh, all right Yeah, yeah, I would always don't think you take it sir. I always saw saluted Thank you. Reserves. I always thought you could be like well what what like can you find it is that I'm not playing that game I'm not I mean I'm not doing that make your quota make your quota. What are you gonna do? Is that stand? I'm not playing that game. I'm not. I mean, I'm not doing that. Make your quota. Make your quota. Do what you got to do.

I understand that. I'm just saying like, is that a legal defense of like, well, can you find it? Can you prove that I threw it out? I guess their visual thing is enough, right? I'm not a smart man, but if I, you wanted to piss off a cop, hit him with something like that. I'm just saying if I, can you find it? Well, if I had, I'm just saying if a lawyer,

whatever, like, got pulled over for, you know, whatever, it'd be like, do you have- where's the evidence? I'm like, well, I saw that. It's like, well, there's gotta be some way out of that. I'm telling you. Sure. That's all I was thinking, is just ways, you know, of a bored lawyer.

Sound like a troublemaker to me, punk. Yeah, that's right. You hear that? Uncle Pee-Dee. Get Brian Dennehy on your ass. Fuckin' walk you out of town How them booze taste buddy? Run in my mouth. Oh What cigarette I don't smoke

Well, you tried a Johnny cool guy with lose is your car. I didn't hit him like that Yeah, we did when you retold the story sound like a cool guy sure Jen impressed oh yeah Yeah, no, when you retold the story sound like a cool guy. Sure. I'm trying to impress though. Yeah. Yeah, no, I just saw it coming. Sure, you know, you know, I get that. I'm just saying there's got to be some sort of analyst and I'm happy to be get me you get me you got me. I also look at it as like I've broken enough laws in my past

and if you want to give me a speeding ticket by all means, I'll I'll I'll I'll play this out You know what I mean? You're karmic dad. Yeah, hey You know never get me for the Kennedy thing That Woody Harrelson's dad said that or something like that. It has to be about kid But then I think that was debunked that uh There that it will you know I don't know it's pretty good. It's in the acid. I think it pretty debunked that uh, that uh, well you know, I don't know. That's pretty good. It was in the acid I think, pretty heavy.

Big tripper. Real Ken Kesey. Real Ken Kesey. You know what I mean? Real psychedelics. Um, alright this one's I never heard of. This is from Appreciatecha. Uh, is it garbage to bring, sorry.

Is it garbage to bring a travel pillow, the neck pillow, to a movie theater? What? It's not classy, but it might be nice. I find those things to be wildly uncomfortable. I understand, but I think the only time I ever use them, you're in a... Get no turn. Get no turn. The screen's in front of you. What do you got to turn for?

Exactly. No, but I don't like wearing those things. I understand, but I'm saying the only time I've ever really tried to use them have been in an uncomfortable situations. It might add to the comfort if you're in a big comfy movie theater chair. That's what I'm saying. Did you

know that on the plane, the the thing comes up a little bit and you can also squeeze in the sides? Not all of them but when you can, they're nice. That's great, man. Yeah. You don't need the neck pillow. You got it right there. I know. I got a question for you, fellas. I'm listening. You don't need the neck pillow. You got it right there. I know I got a question for you fellas I'm listening when you go to the movies. Do you put your feet up on the seat in front of you if nobody's there?

I only do it if someone's there Let go let's dance real tough guy this guy this episode, isn't he? Try to prove my feet were on your chair I'll use my feet Yeah, I do I think it's disrespectful, I think, to anybody. And if not, even if no one's there, it's like I was raised in the feet on the furniture is an ideal. You know, it's like, yeah, I don't love it, but I will do it if I get comfy. Well, you had shoes on the couch.

Shoes on the couch. Shoes on the couch. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We were not a shoes in the household. Like if you came home from school or whatever, it was shoes off in the garage or shoes off in like the vestibule or like the little whatever. Got you. Shoes on like, yeah, if you run in or whatever, if you're leaving. So you didn't have to take them off.

It was like, you know, case per case basis. But yeah, shoes off at the crib. OK. right let's see here this one's from Tony S you've ever used your thumb to scoop food on your fork or spoon yesterday and I thought about it I'm okay with that very I've got it looks bad to outside person it looks real bad it's real gross know. You take your knife and do it. But I mean, I did it so long, it's like so second nature. I remember I got spotted by my sister at our dinner table. I had, it was rice-a-roni, which it's tough

to get those last couple of, those last couple is dragglers, you know what I mean? Sister, you're preaching to the choir. So I didn't do, I didn't do my thumb. The long grains. The vermicelli noodles. Oh man, I love me some razzaroni. I love it.

What is that, man? Crack. Pasta. San Francisco crack. Pasta and rice mixed together. Full of spaghetti. Fresh herbs gets there was The certain amount of moisture was great like a duck when it was real moist was kind of not soupy but moist I know and also the dry when I tried out the next day that was alright to get me like the

Give you like the beginning in the end Dude the description rice or he's digs hit me rice Arone is a boxed food mix oh that's not good that's what you eat in a bunker that's they probably legally had to change that over the past years thank you what you thanks a lot you chop up some chicken or some hamburger meat put it in there that's quality food but I used to pick around though let's do go baby you got to go baby the beef ones I used to pick around the carrots not a fan. I love the care I mean I like them now, but back in the day. I was a non veggie kind of kid dehydrated carrots

I can imagine being wary of them. Oh, yeah I used to even like when I would paint chips out of my shit when I do cup of noodles I used to dump those out cuz they'd be on the top. Oh, I used to eat them like marshmallows I'd crush them first. Why my noodle? I used to I used to open it up because they'd be on the top. Oh, I used to eat them like marshmallows. I'd crush them first. Why my noodles? I used to open it up, dump those out, then put the water in. Huh, interesting. They were just like if they felt like pieces of Lego.

It's not good. Yeah, I'm like, I know this isn't great to be eaten to begin with. I ain't eating whatever's banging around on top. They have some of those these accessories. They have some of those ramen noodles under a microscope, and it's a whole world down there Can't do it little mites and things crawling around Same thing with strawberries and stuff there's things on everything there's bugs on us right now. No yeah

There are crawling all over us my they're different. They're not bugs Yeah, what's the other bugs you What's that? They're bugs. You can see bugs. They're not horses. You can see bugs. Mites are just organisms. No, they have little bodies. Little legs and shit. I get that, but I don't, I'm saying, you don't see them. They're there.

That's fine. There's a lot of stuff on me you don't know about. Poop. Dingleberries. This one's from Ted. Is it garbage to chase a tequila shot with a hot sauce packet? I don't hate that. And we had pickle backs for the first time not that long. I don't like I don't do the pickle juice down there in Nashville. I thought it was all right. Pickle backs are the best. I mean like it scientifically works, right? It's like the whatever the base and the whatever like it's yeah, it's it complements it. Sure. You know. I'm totally okay with that.

With a tequila and a right down. That makes sense. Pretty good. Throwing a lime there afterwards. Yeah. How about you could do like Tabasco on a lime would probably work. That'd be good. You see if that's a thing to basket like a hot sauce on a lime

chaser or a hot sauce chaser This seems pretty ideal the packet makes it a little trashy. I'll give you that but you put it so boom I know that's like self-contained That ain't they were selling shooters at a bar like here's this and here's this and then what's this stuff called? Chihula that I like a little Chalula Chalula. I love that stuff. Yeah, I'm not a chaser guy I'm straight up a beer Right now typically let it burn really yeah for a minute Oh fuck that because I feel like the consistencies of them if they go down at the same time

They really start they start beefing in the esophagus a little bit You know what I had they start getting that fucking water running up my throat. But I had not that long ago. And I've never I don't really have a lot of experience with high quality liquor. You know what I mean? Sure. Don't I've never had like Johnny Walker blue or anything

like that. Not for me. Too smoky. But by accident, I thought I was ordering Don Julio a shot of it. But it was Don Julio 1942. Yeah, is that like their high end one? I guess I was expensive as shit and I drank it and man, that was I didn't need a fucking chaser for it. Yeah, it was smooth as butter.

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I love that yeah just crushed them down all day whacking ponies not bad pretty fun. Yeah, that's pretty good Alright, man. I taste I could taste that right now. It's delicious. It's like those ginger shots that we get come on Let's get a relapse going All right this one's from I guess it was a couple episodes ago. This is from new poling $10 Homey never had one read is a garbage to say hot water heater referring to appliance. That is a water heater Hot water heater. It's a water heater. We're not a heating hot water. You're heating water. It's a water heater Yeah, that's a technicality. It's a hot water heater in my house Yeah, but it's not a no. That's like a hot microwave. It's double redundant

Yeah, hot food oven redundant double negative. It's not a double negative fraction Long division double negative is like you're not not a fat ass Right that specifically to me or I'm never not doing whatever is a double negative. Thought it was when it equals zero. Don't not not go. Don't not not go. Can you get an actual example of a double negative? Why we, man.

It's crazy. We're really showing our ass in these past couple episodes too. Hot water heater. We used to call it a boiler. Can you call it a boiler and boilers a bigger thing I think is it I believe so huh okay double negatives

are created by adding a negative to the verb and to the modifier of the noun shut up shut your ass as it is adverbs etc or object verb I won't bake no cake I can't that sounds good though. Yeah, I can't go nowhere. I ain't going nowhere. I can't go nowhere tonight Yeah, why's that sounds like that's perfect. I can't go anywhere tonight. No. Yeah, that's different not nowhere I can't go nowhere. I can't go nowhere tonight. Can't go anywhere tonight I can't go nowhere. I can't go nowhere tonight. Can you anywhere tonight is the proper I suppose But I can't go nowhere wherever it is. I can't go no nowhere

Yes, so that means you can go no. I got the ankle monitor on I can't go nowhere I gotta be here you at the ankle monitor. No, no, no, no, no, we're making sense here Yes, it's garbage. We're fucking trash. What do you you think I also saw one and I'm drawing a blank I don't have it in front of me and I'm coleslaw yeah I mean we've been I've been getting hammered with the words is it envelope or envelope envelope I say envelope like it's envelope but what's when you push the envelope they push in the boundaries it's envelope. But what's when you push the envelope? They push in the boundaries. It's what you do, baby, right? But is it the you can't eat that many Doritos watch me push this envelope. No, that's envelope I think there are two different words. They're two different things aren't they in my head. Listen, I'm probably wrong

I've been wrong in a lot of this over the past year T-bone you got to get on that. I'm so is a lot of lot of looking up? To me, they're the same thing. You're pushing the envelope. What would that mean? Like it's a big letter. I thought the envelope was like a stratosphere of space or the atmosphere. You thought it was part of like that. I thought it was a term that meant that you're pushing like

okay, there's an envelope that you put a letter in and then there's an envelope an Envelope is some type of of it's like a mess of a boundary so like NASA would be like he's leaving the atmosphere now Now entering the envelope no no no he's pushing the envelope by leaving the atmosphere does that make sense? It's like a like further. It's in my head. It's the packaging Does that make sense? It's like a like further. It's in my head, it's the packaging. You're mailing a real big letter and the envelope Boston at the scene. OK, pushing the envelope. I said you say envelope envelope, pushing the envelope envelope.

I think that phrase is the problem. The knee or an A. It's all spelled the same. Wait, you thought that was I mean, I didn't. I thought it was envelope. Thought it was a different word. Pushing an envelope. I'm sorry, I didn't I thought it was envelope thought it was a different word pushing an envelope I'm sorry. I didn't get brain food on test day All right, I got cigarettes put out on my hand

Okay, I Had no fancy bacon egg and cheese She'd load me up on sugar and carbohydrate. I'd be half asleep by second period. Pushing the envelope means testing limits and trying out new, often radical ideas. The expression comes originally from mathematics and engineering, where an envelope is a boundary. So kind of like... See?

But you thought it was a part of the Earth's atmosphere, which is not but he's not wrong Yeah, but they're not referring to like pushing the envelope like you're stuffing too many clothes into a laundry like the envelope you you is a certain you're in the radius thought process of this of like We're within the envelope of this wall of physics. Google the definition of envelope It'll be if there's two definitions. In classic H-Fully fashion. No, he Googled the phrase pushing envelope. Oh, okay.

Give me a straight- Which you were both very smart and dumb about. Right, I knew I was dumb the whole time. I never claimed to be a smart man. But I know what love is. This only has two, that can't possibly be right. Go ahead. A flat paper containing, container can't possibly be right. Go ahead. A flat paper containing, container with a sealable flap.

Uh huh. A covering or containing structure or layer. The external envelope of the swimming pool. There you go. That's what they're referring to. You're pushing the envelope. Wow, big man. Maybe he did have those bacon, egg, and cheese this morning. Oh my god, we're so dumb. What's something that envelopes? Envelopes yes, that means what to surround cover envelop we're in I yeah, but yeah, I get that now

Prespiration enveloped him Sweaty Well, you're being rude I just said you were a smart guy Oh, you're being rude. I just said you were a smart guy Toby stank enveloped him he ate the whole envelope of spaghetti did I use it right and yes, I meant the package Meld yourselves spaghetti the natives. Oh, there you go. Huh Wow My paper cut that blood. No now I have a little headache right now Take him back. You know, it's bleed

Okay This guy's event is um, all right this one. This will be good for me. I can't believe I haven't thought of this This is from Kate Have you ever discreetly googled how to use chopsticks? I should totally do that 100% don't know why I haven't thought of that. I just yeah, because you guys are good with them, right? I'm nice with them. I'm bad. But I don't I don't think I use them in the traditional sense. Somebody that really knows how to use them. They can tell how you grip them. I don't think I grip them right. But I listen, I ain't going hungry. I'll tell you that. I just learned

I just learned a bunch of chopstick etiquette I break all of it. Yeah, you're not supposed to poke anything and I supposed to play with them You're supposed to put them down. Don't put them into the bowl. You're not supposed to point at stuff. I'm big on point Yeah, yeah Why yeah, it's like bad luck and stuff if you rub them together like like people tell you to it's you It's you telling the restaurant that you think they're cheap. No, oh because It's you telling the restaurant that you think they're cheap. No. Oh, because... What, you like getting the fibers off or something?

Yeah, you're getting the wood off. If they're low-level chopsticks, you do that. You don't need a splinter on your tongue. Of course, but you're also letting them know what you think. Well, what do you mean? Go to the restaurant depot. Get better chopsticks. I like the wooden ones.

I've used metal ones, and they're crazy. You feel like a scientist or something, or a robot. Got metal the wooden ones. I've used metal ones and they're crazy. You feel like a scientist or something or a robot. Metal fingers. Get a grip on nothing. Hey, it's lost like five dumplings. Fully scissor hands. Yikes. Yeah. I love eating with chopsticks. Eating regular stuff with chopsticks is fun.

No, not for me. I just got to get better at it. I don't have enough practice and they weren't introduced to me until very late in the year. Oh, a few years ago. OK, let's see here. This one's from Ruben. Is it garbage if your great grandfather got electrocuted shimmying up an electrical pole to steal power from the neighbors? Now that checks out on my on my end.

I respect the hustle, but it's like you should be having. If you're going to do that, have somebody who I'm assuming knows what they're doing do that. I wonder if he made it Yeah, I mean I don't think you can take his app from that kind of power like you can get the light socket The whatever gazappia and that's like, you know pedestrian. Oh, he didn't have the right gear. I had winter gloves on and shit Scares me You see there's that video going around of the kids on the third rail He just keep he grabs it and then he grabs the girl next to him and she gets it Yeah, their buddy gets them off though. I don't I never what made it to the end I scroll past that that third rail is frightening

I'll go near that thing. No never not once um Alright, this one's from parking lot donuts. Is it garbage to invite your weed dealer to your wedding I? Mean you know it depends how much well boys you are yeah, and then how do you cuz at some point you're at the Your boy's gonna have to describe how he knows you to somebody else at the party. They all know. I tell you what, after the cake and a couple of drinks and you're done with the dance floor, he'll be your goddamn best friend. Sure. Unless he's like too much of the weed dealer.

You're like, buddy, don't it, you can have it on you, but you're not a white guy with dreads. Yeah. It's like, what's up? Smells like patchouli or something He's got a rasta suit on yeah, just like I don't drink just fucking constantly You know he's like putting a putting a joint out and then they go in inside and stuff. There's few things And maybe there is but one one thing that really is me. Yeah Stomach I pictured you in a tie-dye shirt when I was in my head the whole time one thing that really triggers me is fucking

That petrually stink that's I smell that stuff and I get Angry. Mm-hmm cuz I knew so many bozos in college that used way too much of it and on a lady Oh, that's how you but no, but I like it cuz that's how you know, there's a thieving gypsy nearby But nobody like it cuz that's how you know there's a thieving gypsy nearby Bottom of your feet start itch in or something. Oh god. Do I hate hippies? Uh yeah? Hi, you're gonna be annoying in five minutes You guys know that smells like I gotta leave a starfire don't give a shit about your journey kick rocks See I brought this one girl. She was like a friend of a friend brought

This girl ended up that we that I grew up with ended up at a party in college Uh-huh, fuck did you bring her I couldn't get rid of her or whatever so like she was like two people removed We show up to a party and she was like a real real She was like, two people removed, we show up to a party and she was like a real, real in her hippie-dippy phase. And she asked my, it was a Halloween party, and she asked my boy, what are you? And he's like, I'm a ninja, you know, whatever the fuck you was dressed up as, like whatever cheap costume. And she goes, no, like, what are you as a person? And he was like, what are you, a cop lady? He's like, who the fuck brought this girl to you? It was bad. I'm a guy on Molly, Molly get the fuck away from me fuck stop ruining my high toots we had our one boy my one boy Liam was that was

a hippie yeah more hippie than anyone else you know he was hippie sure but didn't change his whole personnel he was was still like so like, you know, but he would still show up with like the drug rug and like the, you know, long hair at times. I like a good drug rug. No. On somebody that can pull it off. I could not. One that's worn in. I'm okay with that. No one can pull off a drug. Brad Pitt can't pull off a drug rug. That's not true. Yes, he can. And so can McConaughey because I've seen him in one and he's got what we call his windows. Tight little body. A PLB. Um yeah, I think uh. I'm sorry. The kids in Dazed and Confused that one kid, uh London, I think was his name. That was more that was more Liam. Like he could hang with whatever crowd he wasn't pushing like put the dead on or what like he was like, hey, if I can vibe with anybody but he was more of the hippie area. Yeah, I love the grateful dad I love fish but man when the in college Kids would play play like the space or like the live tapes and stuff like that in between man I'd love them eighth grade. I get it that they love it eighth grade mushrooms hit pretty heavy and they all started getting into fish

And this is when you know you know fish fish has got some hits, baby and there were ever news at a concert for This dude do you might know the name Keller Williams does that ring a bell not the realtor? He was a pretty big realtor in the area. It's gonna say it sounds like he makes butter Pass me that Keller Williams bread. Keller Williams. Well now it's sea salt. The maker of finer food mixes near you. That's pretty good.

And our boy who was like, you know, He was a big rap guy, you know what I mean? So he's there in like a fitted hat, a jersey, like whatever, but he's just there for the fucking drugs, you know what I mean? and a jurors like whatever but he's just there for the fucking drugs you know what I mean and the guy comes out and he's playing and the guy by the you know thugged out kids like Keller we love you and it could when it was quiet and the guy goes I'm not Keller Williams I go man swinging of this everybody looked around this kid has like hoop earrings he's got like a he's got a fake diamond necklace on just so out of place Keller we love you. I don't know what the fuck the guy was like shut up. There's some more joints out of the crap

Okay, that's all right. All right. We got time for a couple more here. This one's from osempi tempe Is it garbage to bend the lid from a tuna can and use it in as a spoon? I'm gonna defer to the larger gentleman to my right here. Been there. I think I mean if you're jammed up where you got it, I'm assuming you're using it to eat tuna fish? Yeah, like you can not eat in cereal with that. You better be under a bridge and be rocking fingerless gloves. Sure I don't know. I mean like I don't know where you would be where that's the case

I feel most hotels now have that hotel. Yeah, you can get plastic. It's crazy Cuz that's the snack bar at hotels a lot of times You'll see little mini cans of tuna fish with with the pop-top. It's high protein snacks Sure, they even come with a couple of crackers. And I think some mayo. I don't know, I've never, sounds like you bought it a couple times. So you can pull a Frank and make the hoagie in your mouth.

Remember when Danny Devito did that? I like to make it in my mouth. That's the best way to ruin a hotel room. That smell is not leaving. No. Yeah, no, I don't I mean That's huge to the camp and maybe if you forget some but it's like at this point Slice your mouth in New York City. I mean like we live in New York in New York City

You shouldn't be doing like you can get there's plastic silverware within 50 feet of you at any given point sure tuna salmon it all tastes like cat food I Can't do the canned salmon food. I can't do the canned salmon and I can't, I know you like it, I can't do the canned chicken either. Love me some canned chicken. Dude, no! Isn't that crazy? I haven't had it in a long time. It's got, if it's in like a buffalo chicken dip, or like something with a lot of sauce. It's in a can and it's gross, dude. Yeah, you know I used to buy it at CBS. No, no, dude!

Or the Rite Aid on Broadstone. Fuck! And this is how I would make it. Yeah, I was going to say, you don't use mayo. No. I'd put it on a pan. Yeah. Heat it up. Mix in a lot of Frank's hot sauce. There's got to be barbecue sauce coming out of the mix.

No, Frank's hot sauce. And it kind of gets together a little bit. lot of Frank's hot sauce. There's got to be barbecue sauce. No, Frank's hot sauce. And it kind of gets together a little bit. The bottom starts burning like a chicken cheesesteak would, you know, kind of make a homemade chicken cheese. I was ahead of my time. I'm alive. Bam. And I take my spatula.

And at this point, while that's simmering, I got toast going in the oven because I didn't have a toast What you're doing this are you washing your socks in the sink? Or do you have them hanging over the wood-burning stove? Are the other fellas at the men's clinic you live at are they nice are they good hangs? It was a nice shelter. What if the trains rocking back and forth? Okay, you just said you've used the lid to eat tuna fish. Sure.

I was a young man. I was 20 or 21 years old. So hot sauce, what else? And then, uh... Gotta be parmesan cheese mixed in there. No, I got the... No parm cheese? Just wait. If you want a traditional recipe, you're gonna need a revolver with one bullet.

It does. To wash that down with. I was in case someone tried to come steal my chicken cheese day. To wash that down with. Nice 38 slug. American cheese you had. Crafting a single slice on top of that as it starts melting. Take, boom, the toast is down heating up because I had to preheat the oven.

Because that's a big, you know It's a that you know takes 15 minutes. How many is what a fella like you put down? I put down to sure I got oh, and then yeah boom boom So it's probably maybe two maybe one or two if it was a big can of chicken one big can or two small ones You know what ladies cans if you get that char on the out on the bottom and the cheese starts melt That's a nice crunch with the bread What ladies can if you get that char on the out on the bottom and the cheese starts melt Got a nice crunch with the bread couple of screaming diet kids and a bunch of loose cats They're all scratching at the door to get in

You cooking in a top hat where the top is like popping off With a busted out cigar in his mouth. Yeah, dude. My clown makeup's wearing off. Wearing a sport coat and underwear. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ah. Real nice.

That's good boot. Ha ha ha. We did have a pretty bad mouse problem at the time oh man How's when we put the pellets out to eat the pellets and they kills them this motherfucker was I've said before he was sitting On the armchair next to me dude freaked me the fuck. Yeah, does he have a flower in the sport coat? He just walked out of the crash at 28 Yeah, he's in the dust bowl dude Can't chicken steaks bro

Coming up with some hair brain scheme to get rich I did, I was going to start a clothing line We're going to kidnap the governess daughter I was gonna start a clothing line that kidnapped the governor's daughter Stage coach kippe is my favorite stage How about kippie Taking a goddamn shellac riding the rail listen you would eat it don't turn your nose up at it We should make it on patreon

They still making canned chicken like that sure I had never seen it until then I have started to get The right a took diamond dollars when I started have any cash you had like you could put money on your sure I would buy in there when they get my heaters canned Fish has started to pique my interest Not mine. Yeah like the sardines the oysters What canned oysters? Yeah, like but they're high-end ones I haven't I see what you're saying, but I don't they do them in Spain a lot. They're big on canned

Oh, yeah for sure for sure There's a guy that there's a guy on Instagram that is going through like eating canned fish every day or something like that Yeah, it's not my cut it's canned in good oil the bones like that right what like on sardines yeah Tiny and they're they're filleted to a degree anchovies are a little minnow All right, listen Sharp knife now not happening. You don't like anchovies out there eating bait No, I love them and shoot anchovies in Greece

They had was anchovies like red wine some onions a little bit of tomato And like a red wine and olive oil with a little salt and pepper. Man, that with a little tzatziki on a piece of a crusty piece of bread. Crush it. Yeah. Or a nice American cheeseburger. Yeah. USA, USA. And an evil, Knievel stunt. When you when you search for canned chicken one of the first places well, how much is a can of chicken?

Well, I can get you that chicken in a can I got that they put a full bird in oh, they don't yeah They do no they don't yeah, there's no way they still do that. They don't oh Sure, you can get you can get a whole chicken thigh for sure But I can get you sick. Chicken thighs? Whole chicken thighs. Survival food cave. Yeah, this can of chicken is 40 bucks. Let me see it.

Pop that up there, Lukey. That's a whole cooked chicken? Oh, that's dog food. Hahaha! Shout out to Vanger's Organics Cooked Chicken G Free Can Dog Food Also available for human consumption. Is that what it says? What does it say that? No you could eat that though It's organic chicken. That's a whole dressed organic chicken. Keep your coat nice and shiny

Wait the name of this company is Avengers. Yeah, they they have They know it is dog food. I have the same thing. I was like I found they sell that they also sell human products. There's no way that they're selling whole chickens in a can. Yeah they do sweet soup canned whole chicken without giblets. Oh that's gonna cost you extra. I'm buying this review on Amazon said this chicken was interesting and not what I expected. Good conversation? I also ate it right out of the can on a plate.

Jesus Christ! You fucking animal! With a tuna fish lid. That's crazy. I assume you didn't like the- Also, hold on, this one is, Can arrived with a dent, there was no option to have it replaced? What a waste of money. Buddy, if you're eating a whole chicken out of a dent, there was no option to have it replaced? Question mark. What a waste of money. Buddy, if you're eating

a can of you're eating a whole chicken out of a can, who gives a fuck if there's a dent? You got bigger problem. That salesman was already on his way to the next town. I assume you didn't like to watch the cleaning process of the turkey or chicken as a kid. No, I mean, little bag comes out of the chicken. Interesting enough, it didn't, you know, that wiener type thing No Little bag comes out of the chicken interesting enough It didn't you know that wiener type thing kind of scared me The neck what the gizzards the neck or whatever it looks like a shawl long a big one at that big turkey

Hey mom, I'm gonna get that big It's a deal. That guy's got a hog on him. Family dinner, I thought. Yeah, I didn't bother me too much. I don't like seeing the skin when it's skin. Does that make sense? It's too human. It feels like I'm eating humans.

That's why the French do something where it's like chicken or goose or something. They put it in their mouth. It's in like a bag. It's almost something, it looks like a latex bag and they open it up. It's in like a bag. It's almost something that looks like a latex bag and they open it up. It's real fancy. They open it up at the table.

I don't know what the bag is. You don't do your turkey in a bag? We do our turkey in a bag. You do? Yeah. Are you joking? No. Turkey in a bag? Chicken in a can, turkey in a bag.

Are Thanksgiving turkeys cooked in a bag? No, it's not. Stop screwing around. What do you mean, a can of turkey in a bag. Are Thanksgiving turkeys cooked in a bag? No, it's not stop screwing around I swear me in a bag of what? Shop right back. No, it's a turkey bag. It's called like oven roasting bags. I don't have all the answers. No Yeah, we used to do pot roast. I know you that's what we call Denise Holy shit, that's weird. How does it get crispy on the outside? I think it's all done in the bag. No.

Toby? I would say it's more of a sack. I know there's... Duffel. I know there's roasting bags, I get that. Yeah, that's what it is. But, you're turkey? No, that's not right. It's like a big American. I'll tell you that

It's like a big ass turkey condom That's how to cook a turkey in an oven bag. Why would you be doing that? I don't know man. Just put it on the rack and put it in there in a big pan with I'm not the one doing it She's cooking it in a bag. Yeah broad screw balls That's crazy She's cooking it in a bag. Yeah. It's broad screw balls. That's crazy. How does the skin won't get crispy?

It does. I'm telling you, it does. I'm sure you take it out of the bag at some point. And then put it back in to get it crispy. I'm telling you, it comes out crispy. Oh, God. I've seen that shit. That's gross. They do it at French restaurants. I can't even. If you're aiming to cook.

If you want to weird everybody out on Thanksgiving, your juicy, tasty turkey with plenty of flavorful juices for gravy. Oven bags are the best method. I don't know. Yeah, you take it out of the bag for the last 15 minutes. All right, there you go. But the idea is that all of the juices can stay in there. Yeah. Trojan turkey. Apologize to my mother. Trojan turkey bags.

Take this. You also go to pancakes in a bag. All right, we got to wrap it up, gang. Gang, what a fun one. We love you to death. Come see us at Town Hall, New York City, baby. Yeah. Biggest show we've ever done. You're in the Tri-State area. There's still some tickets left.

Grab a ticket. Come out and see the boys. We love you and we'll see you next week.