Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Tricked-Out Cars w/ Jeremiah Watkins!

Episode Date: October 5, 2026

Are You Garbage presents stand up comedian and podcast host Jeremiah Watkins! You know Jeremiah Watkins from stand up comedy, Stand-Up On The Spot, Trailer Tales, Kill Tony, Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast, Legion of Skanks, Take Your Shoes Off, Dr. Phil Live, Story Warz, You Know What Dude, The Wayback, Bein' Ian with Jordan Podcast, and so much more! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! Watch AMERICAN GARBAGE: https://youtu.be/77zGwlLffWk?si=6E9dBr63JY7HgP9t AYG 2026 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows NEW AYG MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored By: Quince: Find your next fall favorites at Quince. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers, or go to https://www.quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Promo Code: GARBAGE BlueChew: Right now, when you buy two months of BlueChew Gold, you get the third for FREE with promo code GARBAGE. https://BlueChew.com Wayfair: Find pieces made for real life, and get even more value with Wayfair Rewards. Join Wayfair Rewards today to get five percent back on every purchase. Head to https://Wayfair.com to shop all things home. Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Stop the presses, gang. The American Garbage Special is out on YouTube right now. Numbers are cooking. We thank everybody for their support. Keep sharing it. Keep telling everybody about it. We love you. Yeah, and if you like what you saw, we are on tour right now,

we're going to be in Appleton, Wisconsin, San Jose, San Diego, Tacoma, Atlanta, Philly. Hello. Springfield, Fort Wayne, Connecticut, Phoenix, Arizona, Timonial Maryland, Milwaukee, Chicago, Cincinnati, Columbus, all tickets available at RUGarbage.com. If you got a garbage question, come out and see the boy. Yeah. Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage?

The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there. And welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is R.U. Garbage. You sure about that? It's that little show. We sit down with your favorite comedians.

Find that it to be classy. Yeah. Or just a big old piece of trash. Trash, trash. I'm your host, Ats Trully coming at you on a beautiful day. Aunt Tootty wants everybody to know that, let me see what she got. And she has two tickets available for the Pars Casino Show, December 19th. Where'd you get those?

That feels like it's coming out of the bottom line. With VIP access to Kevin Ryan. Exclusively with Kevin Ryan. And Denise's house. At Denise's house. Two tickets. Okay. Six grand apiece.

Sounds like an H-foldy scam for being honest. My co-s is coming at you from right next to me. Should have been Johnny Grant. That's funnier. Come on. He's the CEO where are you garbage? Bitter boy. International businessman. He's in his bag.

Did you like that? He did not. Likes to hold a grudge. Kevin Ryan, ladies and gentlemen. My best pal in the whole wide world. Thanks a lot, Nips McGee. I asked for a two X-L. Where'd you get a shmedium?

What's up, everybody? Thanks for tuning. And as always, please make sure you're rate view, subscribe on iTunes, full video available on YouTube, and those numbers are through the fucking roof, dog. Let's go. And obviously, um, also I'd be remiss if I didn't say Spotify.

The boys are climbing the charts. Probably top. I call it top 20 at this point. And the comp comedy charts. Uh, top 100, all podcast. Um, check that out. And then obviously the greatest website of all time. W.W.com.

Sash, R your garbage. You go over there. You join over the seven. There's a crazy number. 17,000 paid subscribers over there. God damn, Army of Garbage, baby. About to go on the Army of Garbage Tour. Yes.

And American Garbage on YouTube. Check it all out. And, gang, we could not be more excited. Speaking of specials, to have one of our favorite people in comedy here with us today. Triple OG. He's back again. It's been a minute. We're going to put him through the ringer.

We know he's trash. Yes. Your mom's dishes. What's the... Pizza Boats. Pizza Boats. Got a brand new special out right. now entitled Crazy Pizza on his YouTube page you know him you love them you've seen

them just about everywhere yeah kids working Jeremiah Watkins hey hey look at him good to be back boys we love it love you pal love you guys good to see you good to see you I'd say more but I can't really breathe yeah are you getting light at it right now I prefer to break the fourth wall and the chair He kippies back at it Huh? You're my best pal Don't touch me

Publicly I like the feel of sweat paint material Sweatshirt material Against my skin Well you ask if you You go skin to skin with it I was like

Okay sure I also listen This was This was just very You know Impromptu Yeah impromptu But this is how

This is just very funny How you move You're like Oh do you think that would fit me And then I turn around And you don't have an under shirt on and you're going, you got your arms, you go, it's cool if I go skin to skin.

Like, you put people in position, like, that's a shirt. He's probably going to wear all week doing promo. And now he's got to be like, all right. Well, he wanted to hang it in the back. I know. I'm just saying it was it. People talking. Sure.

Of course, we were trying to find the best place to put it. And once it got all, we said, that's the best place to put it on the, put it on the guy. Do you think when I wear it later, there's going to be the permanent nipple marks? A couple of swings. I didn't know nipples could get boners. Like a radiation shadow. Yeah, yeah. You were very supportive, though, when I put it on.

Yeah, Kibby and I made eye contact and we're like, sure. No, I just, I believe Kevin Turner and I said, man, you're really fucking feeling yourself. Because I said XL. He's in, what size is he? I go, it's an XL. Is it look bad? Yeah. Well, you go, it's an XO and you go, you think I got it?

And then the other fucking three grown men in the room have to go, oh, yeah. Sorry, I have to call out if the 340-pound guy goes, you think I can get in this X-L. 320! Also, with the confidence of your shirt, all right? ready off and going, I might have to puff it out a little bit. Yeah, I think that you feeling yourself a little bit. Does this hoodie come in leotard? It's a Lulu Lemon, right?

I was supportive when you got it on. I said it looks, I go, I said it even looks better than I anticipated. Which isn't saying much. I'm surprised you got it around your neck. I think a, I think a nipple just fell off. By the way, we're cutting him out of that. It's not coming off through the head. I always wanted that.

I know you're in a bad spot when that happens. Yeah. But I always wanted that or wanted to do it. What? You cut somebody out of something. I did it. I don't know if you've ever done this. I did it to my son because he had shit and then it blew out over everything.

And then you got to go over the head and I'm like, this is just going to be significantly worse. What did you use? Cissors? No shit. Chainsaw. What the fuck do you think? Jaws of life. Yeah.

Called in the fire department. That wasn't about a deuce. No, it was just more of like, what are you going to do? And you're like, just cut them up. Have you been cut out or you did it? Oh, I've been cut out. Yeah. Really?

Yeah, because I've done so many characters over the years where sometimes like when I go costume shopping, like a goodwill or Salvation Army, like I'm like, I'll force this to fit. And then, you know, it's a sad day when your wife has to cut you out of a dress. Thought this would be going the other way around. Yeah, I thought I was going to be helping you. But yeah, can you take something out of the back, please? George joined a grocery store I could have married in Shut up and get me out of these panties

Congrats on the new special Thank you Yeah very cool Thank you you guys too man You guys are crushing you Yeah I do go on yeah I saw you last night At the cellar

And I was talking to some friends That I was with And we were just We were just talking about you And they were saying that The first time they saw Kill Tony At the store Years ago

You were there Yeah And we were just talking about all the things that you've done. How much you've been around, how talented you are, how amazing you are, how funny you are. Oh, it's very kind. We couldn't be happier for you with the special. Oh, thanks.

Crazy pizza. Yeah, I'm super excited. It's, uh, for me, what's unique about this special is I, you know, you guys have both don't stand up on the spot over the years many times. Love having you on that. And I put out so much riffing content that this special is just pure material the whole time. I don't talk to the crowd at all. It's just jokes, baby.

If you want that to, if you want someone talking to the crowd, tune into American garbage. There you go. We both are the other ways, sir. Yeah, yeah. So let's discuss. Now, I got to tell you, you sent us a picture of fresh pizza boats that came out of the oven. Yeah. Not that long ago.

Yeah. And they looked pretty goddamn good. Yeah, they're delicious. Describe it again. It's basically French bread that's like cut in half. Slice it. Slice it. And then you put like the mariner or it's usually just pizza sauce from one of those jars.

Jard pizza sauce. And then you put like some mozzarella cheese. Wasn't there meat on there? And you use ground beef? Yeah, ground beef, some pepperoni and sometimes green peppers. Why did you move here from Sicily? Very recently. My English is still working on it.

I live in the Camaradry. Have you had our authentic piece of boat? that. From a Naples. So we want to run you back through the ringer just a little bit. You know, it's been a while. We got some new stuff. We want to talk to you about.

Mostly what's going on now. Sure. Kevin? Excuse me. That's a guy who's done his prep. All right. And we're going to kick it over to Kevin who did his job today. All right. Kevin over in sports is going to take this one now.

I panic. What? Uh-uh. Well, you know, it's been, I just look, 2020, 2020, 23 was the last time you were here. Oh, wow, it has been a minute. Three years. Yeah. Were you in this studio?

Or was that the old one? I think I may have been here. Like, I think you guys had to be just moved in because I think that you were dealing with like some frequency issues or something. Oh, yeah. That was old school. Yeah. Yeah.

Frequency? Still kind of dealing with them. If you're on the Patreon, you can check it. Hold a second. Let's see A few things started off real Jesus Christ This guy's doing his own show

I'm sorry I get giddy when he's here Sure of course He's a good time He's a good hang You can always tell because like you came Obviously you can tell when we're really friends with people Because you come and go

Sit down And then we chock Other people were sitting here Waiting being like he's a minute late Yeah I enjoyed that That doesn't happen on many pods Where you just get a you know Catch up and hang a little bit

Before going into it You gotta get to get You got to get it going. You got to get the gears going. If he would have got here, we would have ordered a pizza, got the sleeping bags out, went over to the lounge, thrown on a ghostbusters. I would have been totally okay with it. Oh, yeah.

Sleepover pod has to happen. I was the house where we would have the best snacks. Really? I was the snack house. Give us a rundown on what was in the pantry. And what did you call the pantry? Did you call it the pantry? Well, we had something called at one point.

We had the pantry, but we called it the Y2K closet for a while. Oh, God. You guys were kind of pre-I-I-I-Forg. We were prepped. We were doomsdayers. There's no way that you can have the snack house and have the Y-2K closet. Yeah, you can have both. Yeah, there's lots of-you-s want some dry deer meat?

Did you have goldfish crackers underground? Hey, can I grab you a caprice on or a gallon of water? A tin of black olives. Yeah. So the Y-2K closet. Okay. How did that start? What year did that start? Do you remember what, like, did that start way ahead of time?

2004. We were behind on the times. It's good, man. Chinese calendar. Yeah. Go ahead. That was like, that was like late 90s. Give me, give us dimensions.

First of all, where is it located in the home? It was in the basement. It was in the basement. Obviously. Any good, any good shop, you know, bunker is going to be soft-ter-reaning. How deep was it or was it just on shelves? in the basement. Yeah, shelves like in a closet kind of area. Gotcha. Yeah. Now, what's

the door between the basement and the rest of the house? Anything they can fend off looters? Yeah. Oh, no. So, yeah, it was the living room door and then garage door and then straight down the stairs and then pretty close was the Y2K closet. So, like, if there was looters, it would be the first

thing to go. Was it just the normal closet door, anything reinforced? No, no. No, no. No, no. So we had guns for that. We had guns for that. Did you guys have nickel in the house? Yeah, they had some guns. Oh yeah, I grew guns. We would sometimes, well, my mom wasn't thrilled about this, but my dad would have us shoot guns in the basement sometimes,

and that was a little crazy. What? What are you guys in the mob? That's how Clemenza trained Michael to kill fucking salons. We'd shoot like pellet guns and stuff down there, and we'd set up like targets and, yeah. That's fun. Yeah.

I have a question about this, but let's go back. So what is in the Y2K basement? There is every canned. food imaginable, tons of ramen noodles, tons of gallons of water lots of, but also like our other fun stuff. Doritos, Pop Tarts.

Now would you dip into them at all if you ran out of Pop Tarts or Doritos? We would keep like reloading it. Gosh, gosh, that was like that was kind of like the walking closet like the walk in freezer. Yeah, we didn't have like the space for it in the actual kitchen. Put it down in the bunk. We put it down in the bunk.

So you were in high school or whatever before Y2K, right? Or no? No, I was in high school, 04 to 07. Oh, so this was after. So you guys knew it was cool, so you had a surplus of everything.

Yeah. Yeah. So, well, it was when we prime Y2K. You were probably like 10 or something. What is that being? Yeah, that was, yeah, it would have been like around 10, 11, 12 right before. Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. What'd you guys do on New Year's Eve that year? We were over at a friends. Really? Yeah, we went over to a friend You can be down there cleaning your guns and shit No, we went over and I'll never forget There was like the dad

He turned on the faucet And he goes, water's still running That's a good bit Were they in on it too or no? I mean, I think that they were like It was like half joking half like Like is everything gonna like actually crap out? That was a scary time

Right Especially if you were a young kid That was scary Well your parents like tense that night I think everybody's like All right it's New Year's but like is it gonna be the end of the world? Your dad definitely had a gun on him somewhere. Probably.

He probably had one in the car. He still does to this day. He usually has like a good. I swear to God, everything better shut down. My dad lit his car on fire like a couple years ago on accident. He left incense burning in the car. In the car? In the car.

He's like he was going to try to clean out the smell. And he, hold on. Why did it smell originally? He might have been smoking pot in there. Okay. Yeah. And so he's like, I'm going to clean it out with incense. and then the inside of his car completely burned out

where you could see the floor, like, and you could see through, there's like sunlight going through the floor, like Fred Flintstone style. Whoa. Yeah, burned out the center console. What kind of car was that? It was like a Nissan, like a Maxima or Ultima or something like that.

Yeah, that's a car. My dad flips cars like crazy. Of course he does. They're fucking, they're catching fire every other week. Kia, boy. That's crazy. My dad, I've never heard flips cars. cars. My dad sells cars. My dad's into the car business. Flipping cars is a little different.

Well, flip him means you don't have them for very long. Flipple means you throw in a, you know, you hit it with some spray paint and keep it moving. He said he used to way back in the day roll back odometers, but then like after. I wish I could do that. That's a lost art. It is. It is. Yeah. You can do it on digital ones now, right? No, I don't think so. I think there's, there might be ways to hack the computer system, but I don't think it's. I'm sure you can, but that's like a serious. serious crime now. It used to be like, kitchy of like, ah, yeah, you go down to Pete.

He rolls back odometers. He said, he said, I stopped doing it when you kids were born. What is the big deal? I mean, it's a serious event. You can take a, because if it's like 100,000, if it's 100,000 miles and you roll it back to like, hey, it's got 25,000 miles, you just took essentially, I'm making up a number, $20,000. You can sell it for $20,000.

Yes. So you're like really ripping people off of hard-earned money. For example, all the time. I try to buy a Prius. Yeah, oh no, for sure. It's not because the car becomes more unsafe. I mean, one, it's unsafe. Yeah.

But it's like, I think it's really, I mean, Luke, do you have anything on the... Yeah, you can get up to three years per count. Yeah, no, it's like per car. So if you do it for multiple cars, you can get up to 10 years, they say. I wonder how a guy rolls back odometers would fare in prison. I feel like if someone like murder was like, what are you in here for? Rolled back odomiters. Everybody like...

I did. It was kind of like, it's like a kitsy crying. Oh, you like rolling back? All right, get on your back now. I'll put some miles back on you. I walked right into that. Yeah, I tried to buy like a Prius years ago when I was... The bragging.

I know, when I was a... Also tried as wise. Can you roll the old armamenter up a little bit? Yeah. Knock a couple of bucks off this thing. I'm paying cash. Does that matter? I was going to buy it from this guy.

And then I was like, my gut was like, there's something off about this car. too good of a deal kind of a situation. And then I did a Carfax report on it, and he had rolled back the odometer on me. No shit. Really? Yeah, it had like 250,000 miles, and he was selling it for like a priest for five grand,

and it was like 73,000 miles on it. And I was like, this is an amazing deal. And then I was like, I'm going to spend the 150 bucks on the Carfax report. And then I was like, hey, man, I just did this. And he's like, oh, I'm sorry. I'm like, just get out of here. Take it. You don't want your kind around here.

Shoot it off to $2,500. No, I didn't know what else was wrong with the car at that point. If you're going to lie about one thing on a card, then you're willing to lie about literally anything. If you're looking at me in the face and you're willing to shake my hand and be like, you know? Fair enough. Tell fully how lying works. Please.

No, that's pretty big now. People are still doing that. I think in like what they're doing now is like swapping the Carfax They're going oh hey They hit you up on whatever Facebook marketplace and they go hey it's a

2004 whatever blah blah blah And they go can I pulled the car fax For you and then they show you one for like A different VIN number Yeah And they rip you off that way That's crazy Follies Auto Land we do not do that

I kind of respect like the hand to hand shady business tactics a little bit Me too You know what I mean? Yeah Screw me a little bit Well like it's just like everybody If not then

You have to have some weariness as a buyer of like Hey those hundreds are fake anyways You know what my dad's trick was when he would sell cars Okay this is like a great one If anybody is giving you a test drive in their car Don't let them turn on the radio Or the music for very long Because the reason why they're turning up

Is to hide all the mechanical issues That are going on in the car All the bumps and fucking derrattling. He'd be like, this is an incredible Bose sound system here. Titten rolls gathering in the sky. Cranking it, dude. You hear that double bass of drowning out everything. That's Neil Pert.

Do you like two drummers? That's so bad. All right. I think I told this one time, but my buddies was used to, he worked at a mechanic shop. His dad did, and he was selling a motorcycle. And the guy came in to test drive the car, or the motorcycle, he was like, oh, just leave your car here. And you can go test drive the motorcycle. He had a guy laying in the back seat with an extra set of keys after he left, hopped up.

Left. Whoa. I respect that shit. That's wild. That's like hand-to-hand 80s fucking scumbag shit. That sounds like the beginning of an epic action movie. Dund, where you spring? Dirt bags.

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Important safety information. We thank Blue Choo for sponsoring a pod and a bedroom. Yes, we do. All right. Let's talk a little business here. Do you have any fake covers of magazines as a kid from your little league or anything like that? fake covers. You know what I mean?

Like they would take your picture. The picture would be posed. You'd be sitting there holding a bat. It would be like Sports Illustrated. Local kid fights dog or anything. Oh no. I didn't have anything like that. I had like I would collect like the penance for a while from different sports teams and different stuff like that.

But no, didn't have. I mean, I've got a lot of different soccer shots of me like holding the ball awkwardly and me kneeling next to it. In studio or on the field? On the field. Yeah. Always on the field. Did you guys ever get an old time photo taken? Yeah.

Oh, we got a couple good ones. And I'm holding a gun in one of them. Tommy gun or something. Yeah, I'm holding a gun and a bull cut. Western. Yeah. Where would that happen? That was in Arkansas.

Hmm. At like a part, like an amusement part? Or like what was the... No, that was their technology. That was their only technology that they had. That was a standalone old-timey photo place. That's crazy. That's why you went there?

In Colorado and I think Arkansas, we got our pictures taken. He's trashy. Colorado. Colorado. Colorado. Colorado. Shit, okay. Yeah.

Let's say you're staying at a hotel. You're at like whatever, the Hilton Garden Inn. You're in, you know, Tulsa for the weekend. Will you swim in that pool? Ooh. I have in the past, but I definitely don't make the time to do it anymore. If you go on the road, are you going, I'm bringing my trunks? No.

And like, now that I have kids, it's a little bit different. Like, we did a weekend out of town. where I was like, we're going to utilize this pool kind of a thing to get their energy out. Sure. But I don't like, if I'm headlining alone on the weekends, I'm not bringing trunks to go swimming in Tulsa. Dude, I don't get on a plane without a pair of trunks and flippy floppy. But I mean, if I'm really desperate, I always have basketball shorts. I can always swim in basketball shorts.

I'm a little surprised at that answer. Really? Yeah. You'd be a, you think I would be a, you know, because I got a shark fin attached to my face? He's got a two-star hotel pool vibe. Yeah, you kind of got a guy who was like, pool? Yeah. I mean, that.

You know, you kind of have the vibes of you're not sure when you're going to be around another pool. So you're like, I got to get it in. I got to maximize my time with this. This is the biggest body of water I'm looking at for a while. Landlock. Yeah, okay. You know. Do you or any member of your family have any Harley Davidson merch?

It could be a magnet. It could be a shirt. My dad. My dad has to have some kind of... Does he have a Harley? No. Okay. He's got to breathe.

I think it's his dream to go to Sturge of some year. That's like something that he'll to go. Yeah, he wants to go, but he doesn't have a bike. What is Sturred? It's like a big bike fest. It's a gathering of the juggalo's but for bikers. Yeah. Can non-biker people go?

Yeah. I think you go and like, I think there's like, not, I don't want to say parades to just soften it up. But there's like, but they drive down and, you know. I think there's different layers. of leather that you go down like the seven layers of don't they do something like that in Myrtle Beach

too don't I was there I was there I was there I caught like the last day or the first day of bike week when we were down there for something in high school it's a it's a vibe we had one of my favorite thing we didn't have a motorcycle ever but my dad had a 1985

Honda Arrow a moped and we used to ride that around the neighborhood everywhere it would top out Honda Arrowhead a Honda Arrowhead a Honda The arrow. That's not even coming up. 800,000 miles on it.

1985. Yeah. Oh, that thing's sick. It's all. You are from Sicily. Look at that thing. A bajorni. A dutte fruity.

Yeah. That's all right. Yeah, that's not bad, dude. My sister would hop on the back of it and we'd go down these hills and it would start to get the wobbles. I hate that. It would hop out at 50 where literally it would like, it would start like redlining like at 50 miles an hour downhill and then you'd start feeling it 50's

crazy yeah 50 on the moped was fast that's crazy it was fast I used to remember that feeling when you're going down a hill on your on your bicycle yeah and the fucking thing I you feel like fucking chuck Yeager yeah and we're and no helmets or anything yeah yeah she's breaking apart yeah damn you get 70 miles per gallon on that bad boy uh-huh mm-hmm traded it straight up for the van anybody dumb and dumb around thanks come on baby come on trade to some kid in town straight up anybody in your family or you say when you drive by a cop towards the end of the month

end of the month they got to make their quota yeah for sure what was the last time you were pulled over good question oh it's been years I'm pretty good though I'm a pretty good driver I've only sensible yeah yeah I don't really speed too often I've been

the last time I was pulled over was years ago and it was for tags expired tags sick yeah but I've never got a speeding ticket before Never gotten one of those I've only gotten one Never I've been the passenger in many car accidents

When the cops show up But yeah How many? That sounds like too many You're rolling with the wrong crowd Multiple Yeah multiple where I'm in the passenger seat Or in the back I don't think that's ever happened to me

That's so trashy Yeah I've been in like Four or five Yeah That's too many Yeah yeah And then I've been driving

I've been hit so many times in L.A. Huh I've been hit so many times in L.A. in my car The current car that I drive. And what do you do? Just shake it off and keep going? Well, that's the amazing thing about when you don't have a nice car.

What do you have? What's the day to day now? So, like, as far as, like, driving that car? Your car. What's your car? Oh, okay. Well, this is probably the trashiest thing about me. I'll be the judge of that.

It's one of them. It's a pizza boat. A pizza boat one of you? I'm just rolling down the street. Hey, bonjournal. A banjournal. It's a 2012. It's a 2012-hundred.

CRZ, which is... CRZ? Yeah, it's discontinued. I was going to say... Are they? Yep. CRV. CRV. Z is in zebra.

CRV is nice. The new ones. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that little guy. This little guy. Mine's a blue one. Look, that color blue?

No. That's 2026. Mine's like a darker blue. That's a prelude. Yeah, Honda CRZ. This guy. Yeah, that guy. Right?

Yep. Yep. Yep. That's a little guy. Well, that's tricked out, but yeah, it's a two-door cout. That's tricked out. That was tricked out. It's got rims and it's got a special grill.

Those are tricked out on this year. You don't consider those rims? They're stock rims. There's a Honda emblem on them. No, those are like, those are nice rims. I mean, I'm not saying they're bad rims, but I wouldn't say that's tricked out. This is a tricked-out car. What's that?

Little wanes? That's crazy. I'm surprised that you guys don't think that's a trick-down car. That's got like 17. These are, he stinks. We've got the drink out is. They're stock. I've never.

That's the devil's car. Dude, I'm telling you, those are like nice aluminum alloy. What do you have? Wooden wheels? What the fuck? Well, mine is so. Sports stage coach. Yeah, but basically, uh, the paint is all completely oxidized off of most of the car because

of the sun. Sure. It's just like wiped it out. And then the wheels and everything. Like, I've been hit. so many times, like in different parts of my car that, like, I got hit by literally the owner of the comedy store and he's like, oh, did I hit your car? I'm like, yeah, I'm like, that's all right. Yeah, I've had cars like that. Yeah. Uh, his brother. His brother. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sorry, buddy. Yeah. Dude, I hit your car, bro. Are you at the point now with the car that, like, let's say you're in a grocery store parking lot, somebody backs in the, it does not serious damage, some pretty noticeable cosmetic damage. There's a crunch. To the quarter panel. We're a quarter panel. Do you say to that, and if they're like,

you can file a thing with my insurance, will you file the insurance claim and not get the car fixed or take a cash offer? I would do a cash, but you're not getting the car. How far are you taking that? They go, oh my God, I'm so sorry.

Do you want to exchange information? I would probably be at where I'm out with it now. I probably like, we're all good. It's been hit so many times. money on the table. Well, I got hit. Like, it was like last year I got hit again. And it was a lift driver.

And I felt bad. I felt bad. She crunched me bad. And I had to file a claim with that. And she's like, she's like, you don't know what you're doing to me. I'm like, you just hit me. I don't know, like, I don't know if her drive, you know, her lift was going to be affected by her rating or whatever. But she had a passenger, a lift passenger in the back.

You saw it. That wouldn't look at me. It was like, just looking straight forward. There was like a witness that, like, she didn't want to look. look at me and like get involved at all. But she's just like, she's like, I have to get this like person to their next destination. I was like, okay, well, let's just exchange information real quick. If I'm in an Uber and anything happens, I don't care.

This happened yesterday where the guy got, the guy picked me up and he couldn't get the parking break off. It was a suburban. Couldn't get the parking break off. And I said, all right, I walked around. I gave it two minutes. And I looked for it. Couldn't find the parking break at least.

You were trying to help him? Yeah. It was a, he was an Asian. guy and I don't think he spoke in English and I think he was covering for you know somebody. I was like I'm out but if there's anything I am opening the door and walking away and saying take care of I'm gonna cancel the ride. You're yeah to me you're like a public they're like it's like a public bus driver. Yeah you're on your own.

That's the agreement where it might be a wall between me and yeah. Yeah that lady should have got out of the Uber and been like yeah. No yeah. I'm surprised you didn't call another Uber like be like cancel it call another Uber like it was like a main city area. Yeah. Oh shit. What'd you get for that? That one, Lyft was, they cheap skated me out.

They only gave me like $800 on that one. And you keep that $800. Yeah, I just keep it. I just pocket it, baby. Sick. Every time. Every time I've been hit, it's pocketed it. Yeah.

So what do you think, how much crunching's left on this car? Are you like, you got another year, you think two years? You're going to go, I'm just going to ride it until it's crunched out. It's low mileage. How low? $78,000 miles on a Honda? Allegedly. What year?

That's true. What year? 2012. That's not bad. It's a hybrid, too. It's a hybrid. Let me ask you this. Let's say the kids were in seventh grade.

I know they're not. But let's say you had to be public with this car around their friends. Would you be comfortable driving them around in this? Well, do you know they take the, come on, dad. I mean, I wouldn't care about that because I pull into it. I know you wouldn't, but they would. I mean, I'm hopefully raising them in a way where they're like, they'll be able to blow it off. It'll be like, yeah, I know, all right?

I put them in the back of it, so it's a hatchback. It's a hatchback with two doors. There's no back seats. No, there's no back seats. How do you put them in the back? Wait, there's no back seats on this two door. So what I do for fun with them is I'll put on jock jams. I like to move it and I'll blare it.

And then I'll put them in the back with no seatbelts on and I'll do donuts around our neighborhood. So it's really just like that. That, right? Is that what it looks like? They're like quasi seats? Yeah, they're not seats, though. There's no seatbelts. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I see that. I fold that section down, and so it's just a flat, like, storage area. And it goes like... That's a wild. That's like a pickup truck. Yeah, that's crazy. That's like one of the shuttles from Star Trek. Yep.

That's wild. So I drive them around and they love it because they, you know, it's like a free roller coaster. That's pretty good. All right. I'll give you that. You're slipping by there, Watkins. That's wild. If you're peeing at a urinal, do you put your hand on the wall ever?

My son does. You guys, an old time, man. He's five, and he's already putting his hand on the wall. How do you feel about a high top at a bar or restaurant? You sit at a high top? I prefer a booth, but I'll do a high top. You'll do it. I'll do it.

Okay. Not first choice. You won't reckon. You won't go. Oh, we'll do the high top. No, no. No. I kind of like it.

Do you? Green, you're out. You're kind of vibing. You know, I like, committing fully. Yeah, it's loosey-goosey. but there's the server will come around. You can dine and dash on the check if you really need to.

He likes it because he's close at a bar. Someone's upset about that. Grown up, who is the most famous person you met? And it doesn't have to be a huge celebrity. It could have been like a local celebrity. Like this guy was the weatherman or a local, you know, whatever. Doesn't have to be anything.

Just someone of notoriety where you're like, whoa, I met him at a signing or a... It's going to be weird. Opening of a supermarket or something. I think it's going to be somebody from Sesame Street or something. No, no. I'm trying to think from Frank Oz or Jim Henson. There was a guy who.

This is great. There was a guy who. It's not even doesn't even a name. No, there was a weather guy who we met at the zoo one time. I remember that. That was a big deal. It's always at the zoo. What the fuck are they doing at the zoo?

And then there was a baseball player, something Montgomery, who played for the Royals. He was doing a signing at our price chopper. Which is like our local grocery store? Price shopper sounds like a mixtape by Lil Wayne. That guy was definitely hung the fuck over. You mula, baby. Price chopper. Price chopper.

Pussy on the poppy. Price on the choppy. Jeff Montgomery. Get the sloppy, sloppy. Jeff Montgomery. Yeah. Yeah. I met him at a price chopper.

And then I met... That was pretty good. Those are a standard dirtbag hitting. I met at a soccer camp, some of the former Kansas City attack players and the wizard players from back in the day. We were the Kansas City attacked, though. They were an indoor soccer team. I remember because we had the Philadelphia Freedom.

Okay. One of my cousins. Oh, really? Played it to Spectrum, I believe. Oh, I've got some family. That and the wings. That was a great, Jim. Remember the Philly Wings?

The Philly Wings, and then, yeah, the Philadelphia Soul, owned by Bon Jovi, was the Arena Football League. Really? Uh-huh. Did he play his soundtrack before every game? They played quarterback, actually. We've got to hold on to what we got Running back Richie Sambora Ladies and gentlemen

This kid's clothes lined You give love That's a good freaking time there Jerry Kemp and talking about Wayfair Wayfair Now as you know I've been a I've had an apartment before And I tell you what you know what I furnished that with?

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Export Development Canada is the financial partner for Canadian businesses going global. Visit edc.ca for more Jeremiah Watkins Will you steal a steak knife From a steakhouse Will I what steal a steak knife from a steakhouse

Have we taken a steak knife from Oh I've helped my mom steal stuff from Olive Garden And Red Lobster Like what? My mom has a thing She's a kleptomaniang That's a bit of a condition Criminal

The biggest thing that we ever stole Was a potted plant from Olive Garden That's pretty big, dude It was huge It was huge It was huge Like by the door It took two people to carry it

Salon. Where was it? It was an olive garden In Kansas City And we put it in the trunk Like it was that big It couldn't fit like It was literally like

This size Where in the restaurant? Near the entrance You can't take it Yeah, you can't carry it all the way Through the kitchen Don't mind me Brought this from home

We're from corporate My mom also has taken full glasses of beer out of restaurants and just put a napkin over it and just walked out with it. For the glass, not the beer. Yeah, well, probably. But a little bit of both. Yeah, little column A, little column B. Listen, a glass that you like,

I'll give you. Steak knife, yes, because of the novelty. You know, and the big steak knives came out. Yeah. I've taken chopsticks more recently. That's fun. Wooden ones? Or like the... Yeah, they're nice wood. Like, they're nice, like, you know... I don't like those. They're like painted. They're nice. You ever use the metal ones?

I don't like the metal ones. Me neither. No, there's something about the taste. It's like doing surgery. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. It feels like Operation, but Asian style. Feel good using chops. I'm going to make a really bad joke, and we're going to move on.

Okay. Do you own any DVDs still? Yeah, I just bought some. Are they on display in the house? They're not on display. They're in a closet. What in the Y3K bunker? What?

Next to the gallon drama pickles. What DVDs were they? Uh, Puss in Boots. This guy's a freak. For the kids? For the kids, yeah. Uh,

we got like some childhood classic kind of movies and stuff like that, uh, that we still have. For what's the purpose to just like for like more? More so just so we don't have to scroll looking. It's like, we'll, we'll put this in. It's the activity. We'll make like, uh, we'll make like our own blockbuster at home.

We're, where we'll put out like a bunch of DVDs and we're like, hey, boys, pick one. You don't have to, you don't, you don't, you're not scrolling. You pick one. right in front of you settled. You have to agree on it. Like we used to back in the day and just do it. That's great.

That just, that's really cool. I do this other thing with my son that there's like a throwback that's fun. He's obsessed with Pokemon cards. And what I do, I have this glass fish tank aquarium that I used to use on podcast for Cisorbrose. I used to like throw up in it and we'd like bob for disgusting things in there and stuff. Yeah, why not get a new one? Yeah. No, I clean it out.

I cleaned it out. Fliped over the, uh, the, the square. Fish Aquarium and I put new Pokemon cards in there and he has to come it's called Dad As Pokemon store and he has to come and trade me. I'm like I'm like what do you got? So I don't give it. I just don't straight up

give him new packs. He has to trade me for the new cards. That's sick. Are you doing the voices and all that stuff with the kids? Oh yeah. Whatever they want like as far as like me doing characters or voices that they request I'm doing it for. Can you just be dad for once? Yeah.

I'm like, just be Jeremiah. Gee. Charmander, char, char, char, ch. Bo, my son. Squaredo. Squatto. Come on, Pikachu. That's funny.

Can you just be dad for one? I just want to talk to dad. I mean, literally, I was reading that time stories of my son. He's like, can you just do it as dad at? Oh, my God. My wife goes, I don't think our son's going to know what your real voice is.

I'm all over the world. Yeah. Because, I mean, I made that joke because it hit me, I'm like, I am just really doing... I never thought of that. Because I'll read bedtime... He loves my Asian voice. It's quaint.

Really? God, I never thought about it like that. Yeah, I'll do like... And I'm not even good at voices. I'll read bedtime stories as like And off from Lord of the Rings and different things. And yeah. Long, long time.

That's fun. He gets them laughing. Do it as Jake Saul, scared of shit. Yeah. I want to play a game. Give me your Pokemon cards. That's cute. What will you give me?

to save your brother's life they're handcuffed to each other what the fuck? Start the CRZ now I will burn this Charzard right in front of you Ah, it's good stuff Oh man

What were we talking about? Okay DVDs Yes, that's awesome I really want to do that That's really cool, that's fun And it keeps them from scrolling That's kind of the thing

Well, it's like, there's a, to get back to analog a little bit, it's nice. It's also just so my wife and I don't have to be like, what about this? What about this? It's literally, they see it right in front of them, and they know that these are the parameters. These are the eight movies or whatever. There's not a million other choices. Right, right. And there's also a thing, too, of like, we don't really, I agree, my kid's significantly younger, but we don't really show.

He doesn't really watch TV, but we were stuck in the house because of the weather the last weekend. So we were like, all right, we got, you got to lean on something. I'm like, this is great. It's like, it's like, you can't. distract him in a fucking in an apartment. So, uh, you choose something and then it's like, he already knows now where it's like, oh, there's something else. He's like, all right, I'm done with this.

Like put all, you know, it's like, and you go like, oh, this is just never ending episodes at Clifford the Big Red Dog or fucking Franklin. You're like, oh, but if he can be like, this is what it is. Yes. That's it. I'm slow rolling introducing him to video games. He loves video games, but I have like one of those emulators that have thousands of games on them.

And I'm only like, I'm slow rolling it where, like, I'm slow rolling it where, I'm like, these are the games that I have. Like, don't like, and then I have I have Game Boy Advance games that are like cartridges and I'm slowly... It's cool. So he's not like, new one, new one, new one, new one. Yeah.

In the last 365 days, have you pushed the automated toilet button? Have you had to do that? Yeah, of course. You have? Yeah. You don't do that, I take it? You don't press the...

Like, on the flush? Uh-uh. Like the one that has the sensor? It's supposed to flush? Yeah, it's supposed to, but sometimes it doesn't. I don't work there. I'm not touching that little button. If I'm at a rest stop,

probably not. That's crazy to leave a dump in a toilet. No, not a dump. I don't work here. It's never encountered. That's never happened. But peeing, I turn around. I walk away.

I see what you're saying. It depends on what the rest of the bathroom. What depends on the state of the bathroom. How you found it in. Yeah, if I go in there and there's like, it's a fucking mess. there's, if it's like a fucking rest up on the Jersey turnpike,

that, that is what it is. If I'm peeing on top of somebody's pee, yeah, if I'm peeing on pee, then, you know. Great way. I've never encountered it with the number two, but I don't know. You got, yeah, you might. I don't know.

This is what you do. You don't use the point of your finger. Use your knuckle and you're out of there. Because it's so tiny. I know. That's why you use your middle finger and knuckle. I use my foot. To get there.

Yeah. You got long toes. A ballerina toes. Okay, I'm a piece of shit That I took bowling This reminded me of I took bowling in college with my sister

And that was our physical education credit And I remember I forget the altar You had to go somewhere I'm sorry You had to go to the bowling alley I'm sorry You and your sister went to college together

For the first I don't know that She no she I never told anybody Breaking news She graduated high school early so she had a year where I was

getting done with community college and she was entering community college so we took public Oh this is community college Yeah yeah yeah okay Yeah what do you think they were doing Bowling at Yale? I mean I think they have that

Yeah I mean I would so we took multiple classes together we took photography bowling Public speaking I think that was Holy shit Yeah There's no, oh my God.

Yeah, the college with your sister. The public speaking. Were you living at home? Yeah. And you were driving the car. What car? Yeah, you were. That was a different car at the time.

What car was that, do you remember? That was a 98 Accura CL. Right. That was a nice car. Yeah. That was a nice car. Had leather interior. Listen, Accura is a very nice car.

Very nice. They are the car for the dirt bag. That is like got the accurate. You know what I mean? Oh, no, it was a big deal. seats. Yeah, yeah. It's always...

What is accurate? Japanese? Honda. Yeah, it's the higher-end Honda. I didn't know that. Uh-huh. And Lexus is Toyota. Yeah, and something else.

Honda engines, big business, right, Luke? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. What is... Go back to your car, the CRZ? Yes. Oh. What is the radio?

What is it carrying sound system in that? 2000... Like, is there an ox-court? Is it cassette? Oh, I use an ox cord. You use an ox cord. There's a CD player that I've been listening to Enya on recently. Really?

Bumpin it, dude. Do you have like a book of CDs in there or you just leave that in there? I have different sleeves that are in the side doors. I don't have a full book. Are you serious? Yeah, I still got CDs that are scattered through that car. So I've got like, I've got some different comedy albums in there. That's fun.

Okay. I've got some, I just bought the Enya one, though. That was not. Where did you buy it? On Amazon. Brand new. Came in the cellophane wrapping. What's that set you back?

$10. That seems high. It was a steel. It was a steel. There's like 20 songs on there. That's a steel. An Enya CD. What was that broads deal?

What do you mean? Whoa. That's a queen you're talking about. Easy with Enya. She Irish? Yeah. Huh. Uh-huh.

I got to be honest with you. I thought she was African. That kind of stuff. No. The white is white. The white is white. That's crazy. You're thinking of Kenya, bro.

You're thinking of Kenya. Kind of, I guess. And then you were like, she's a queen. I was like, yeah, she is, brother. I know you, that's my African queen. You know what I mean? Wow. Okay, did not know that.

Yeah. Do you have any pictures with any exotic animals? Coala. Snake? I've got koala pictures, but that's when I went to Australia. Yeah. That's weird if it was Detroit. I have handled snakes before, but it's usually comedy-related events.

We were just in Australia. Asterly. For Dr. Phil Live in Australia, there was a pretty scary snake that I had to hold around my neck for a bit. And it was kind of terrifying. He did that in Australia? Yeah, we did that. How big was the theater? A couple thousand.

It's crazy. God damn. Shout out to you boys. Yeah. No, it was awesome. Love him and love you. Yeah. No, it was wild.

I had a lot of turtles as a kid. I was more of a turtle kid. What's a lot? I had five at once. Oh, my God. I had five at once. I had a turtle. That's too many turtles.

Ew. What'd that smell? What'd your room smell like? I kept them. I had to keep them in the garage and then also outside because, and I used to keep them in a dog kennel. Five turtles. Like box turtles? Box turtles, wood turtles.

There's a red-eared slider that I had. Oh, what? A red-eared slider. Can you keep different turtles in the same pen? I did. I don't know if you should. I don't know if you should. Turtles freak me out a little bit.

Yeah. I like the cartoon ones. Redier slider. Yeah. So the one that one that I had was giant. He was this big for the red ear slider that I had. But one of them I had was so small that it fit through the crack of, we had our deck. And I thought it was enclosed.

But he snuck through the boards and got out. Where did he go? Into the creek. There was like a 20-foot drop down. Okay. So he was okay. I think he was okay. But then the winter came and.

I don't know what they mean. They may make it. They make it to the winter. You think? Two turtles can live like a hundred years. Yeah, but not one from a pet store, a slider. Maybe he was like Colombian or something. Nate Bargatsi told me

that he's like, he's a, he's like, you know you're in one of my jokes, right? And I was like, really? And I go, which one? He goes, I have a joke about a turtle. And this was at Salvo Cano's wedding. And he looked at me and he goes, man, that turtle must be pretty cold in that water. I was like, well, they're cold-blooded, so they don't, that's not, it's not cold

them, he goes, and he does this bit about, like, how he feels, how dumb I made him feel. He's like, I never talk to him again. That's wild. Five turtles. Five turtles. I mean, one of them was, uh, one-eyed Willie. He had one eye, uh, scratched out by some kind of animal. What the, what are you getting these?

Huh? I mean, they were. in the woods in Kansas. Work release. Would you get them at the pet store? No. All wild. All wild turtles.

I never got like any of my, my childhood hurt. We would get them like we'd be. That's wild caught. Kippie. We would be. We would be. Shooting guns out in the woods or fishing somewhere like out near

creeks or like little ponds or lakes or whatever. And then there would always be a turtle around and I'd be like, yeah, I'd be like, yeah, all right. And then so I had five at once that I collected from different places. That's crazy. Yeah. God love you.

Yeah, but it smelled awful. Turtle pea smells so bad. I can still smell mine. Oh, dude, it's such a specific smell. It's gnarly. Imprinted in your brain. Yeah. Go over to your house now.

Where is the trash can? Can I see it? Where is it? It's out, but it's on the other side. We have like a center like island kind of thing. It's on the end of that. Is there a lock on it? Yeah.

No, it's a step. It's a step. Trash can. Yeah, put your foot on it. Pops up. good? Still works pretty good. Yeah. You ever popped the top off with the step? Uh, no, but

sometimes it jams a little bit. You got a wiggle a little bit. A wiggle. You got a wiggle a bit. Yeah, you got a wiggle a bit. Luke, you got that of your house? It's hidden underneath. Oh, before I forget, because this is pretty gross. And I still forget what the altercation was. When I was doing... I fought in a pargetti. When I was doing the bowling, uh,

with my sister. We got offered that would be for telling this, but whatever. She got into some altercation with somebody at the front that was like being like very aggressive and like mean to her.

And she took a dump on top of the lid of the toilet in the bowling. On top of the lid? Like upper decked it but didn't open it up? Yeah, she put it up. That's crazy. I don't even know.

She put it like on the top of the lid. Like she pooped on top of the toilet. And you guys are bitching at me about not pushing the button. Yeah, I mean, that's crazy. That's like an athletic feat though. Yeah. That's good quad strength.

Yeah. To stay up like that. Yeah, yeah. Oh, she must have really good math. Yeah, she smeared it on there. It was gross. How was it turkey, I tell you? That's stupidest joke I've ever made in my life.

Little cup that's sent it to me. Are they starters or appetizers? Uh, appetizers. Hmm, I'm surprised. I got a question for you. When you're at a restaurant and, you know, there's something on the menu that you might not fully understand what it is. Like you're in Italian something.

Will you Google it or just go, that's not for me? I either said that's not for me or I ask the waiter or waitress. I go, what is that? That's a chicken tender, sir. But how do you cook that? Do the chickens really have fingers? Yeah. How tender is this chicken you speak of?

Okay. All right. I Google a lot of stuff. Do you? Yeah. Is it too embarrassed? Well, what it's to embarrass? I've talked about this before, but like my, because my wife will ask me questions

because, like, English isn't her first language, so it's like, well, she'll be like, what is this? And it's like, I have to explain a lot of things I never thought I've, you just kind of assume. Right, you're like, oh, you don't know what that is. And I'm like, I don't, I guess I don't, I can, I don't, I guess I don't really know what it is type thing. So like I end up a lot of Googling.

Plus, I'm an idiot. You'll love this. My wife made fish tacos the other night. And I'm like, oh, okay, cool. What kind of fish, though? Yeah. Dude, I knew it. It was fish sticks in tacos.

Oh my God. Where is she from? She called them, but she's from the Bay Area. She called them fish tacos and I go. That's like, well, that's like a food hub of the world. I know. And I'm like, you know these are fish stick tacos. She goes, don't call them that.

I go, what else am I going to call them? They're not fish tacos. Fish tacos is something entirely different. That's crazy. I mean, they were delicious, but. Yeah, I was going to say I got to push back on that. That's not a fish taco. You think that's a fish taco?

You can say, I, made fish tacos. I think a fish, okay, first of all, a fish stick, frozen fish stick has more flavor than like a piece of fish that's fried. Like a simple, a lot of times, listen, a lot of times fish tacos miss because there's no flavor in the fried fish. Because there's no stick in it. Right. The stick, whatever that is. The breading, right? I don't know. It's something. They juice the, They do something with the fish, which not really fish, inside of it. It has a vibe to it. I want you to be to do the 20 versus one thing where you in the center.

I'm age fully. Well, here's the thing. A fish taco should be like tuna or salmon, like real fish. So it's so far the other way. It do, listen. What else was on there? I'm not saying it's, no one saying it's not good or packs a punch flavor like. It was great.

You can't say I made fish taco. Dude, if I was like, come over my house for dinner and then I rolled that out, you'd fucking have me committed. What time should I be there? Yeah, that's not fish tacos. You'd have to say, babe, I wrapped fish sticks in tortilla and we're going to have dinner. Why was she sell against fished tacos? It rolls off the tongue. I think it's actually pretty nice.

Because I think that she wanted it to sound like that she made fish tacos and not fished tacos. A little more effort. What else was on there? What else was she doing on? Uh, cheese and then she made the tortillas like in the, in the pan. Like she, like, cooked them in like, and like some kind of oil. Just cheese and the fish? Just cheese and fish.

And I put some hobanero on it. That's weird. No lettuce, tomato, no, no, no crunch? That's crazy. That part's crazy. That's why I called them fish stick tacos. I'm like, it's literally fish sticks. I think you're even losing the taco a little bit, if I'm being honest with.

Really? You need more than just the. Yeah. That's just sad. Did the kids eat them? Dude, we all ate them. You got to do some lettuce, tomato, some onion. You got to jazz that up a little bit.

I'll tell you what, I'll even give you some tart. I'm sorry, some tartar sauce. Something. Cocktail sauce. No, I put a hoban arrow on there and it was good. I'm a big spice guy, though. Okay. I'm with it.

Interesting. Listen, this goes back to it's good for sure. Listen, I'll send you guys the recipe. Don't worry. I've heard it. I think we're good. I think I got it. off with a Honda CRZ.

Uh-huh. All right. Huh. You guys watch TV with the closed captions on. Yeah. You do. Why? My mom did it for so many years that I think that we just watch a lot of programming with it.

Yeah. Anyone in your family ever renew their wedding vows? No, but you know what my mom did the week before my wedding is she married her now husband, so she would go to my wedding a kept woman. Whoa. That's like medieval time shit. That's like I can't go as a, you know. I can't go to some common street woman.

I have to be married myself. I have to be spoken for. Yeah, yeah. Well, where was that wedding? That was in Kansas. Yeah, no, I mean, what was the... What was the turtles wearing? Well.

No, that was... I think that they just went to, like, the courthouse and got it done. Yeah. I don't think there was a... There wasn't like a party. I don't think there was. If there was, I definitely...

You weren't there. I was invited. Yeah. Yeah. Now, okay. How is she still with your stepdad, I presume? Yeah, her husband. Yeah.

Is that what you call him? Respect her husband. Yeah. Not stepdad. Huh? Not stepdad. That's her husband. Yeah.

That's her husband. Yeah. What do you call him? By his name? Yeah. Not Mr. No. That'd be silly.

What is this the same lot? We're both. Yeah, we're both men. God damn same age. Mr. Jenkins. He's younger than me. Are you going to marry my mom before you call out to my wedding or not? I don't know, dude.

I'm kind of like not looking for something like long term or anything. Are you okay with leaving leftover pizza in the oven off until the next morning to have it later or now? Go in the refrigerator. Ooh. Um, I... Really? You're not better than me, Jeremiah. I've just never done it.

What do you do with leftover pizza? I just throw it in the fridge. Does the box fit in the fridge for you or no? You gotta debox it. I cram it. I cram it. Good man. I fold it and cram it.

Good man. I'll give you that. Because I think that it loses flavor if you put it in Tupperware or something like that. I don't disagree. There's something about it that if you change the environment that it was originally bred in, there's something... Who doesn't get the show? Come on.

Like literally, I was just in a hotel, I had a large pizza in one of those mini fringes. Dude, I was rolling up the sides and cranking it in and pulling it. I was. I had to pull out the bottom shelf to make it fit like diagonally. I love it. And you won't go swimming here. Yeah. Yeah.

If you put pizza in tinfoil and put it in the fridge, it's done. Yeah. There's like a, I don't know what happens. There's like a, like the moisture. Something, the moisture escaping changes. It changes the texture. The cheese gets a little like coagulatedy versus drying out. Yep.

It keeps the, I agree. It's in a box. The bags, if you put it in like his big Ziploc bag, that starts sweating. It's not. Oh, yeah, the sweaty Ziploc, there's something gross about it. Doesn't? And then it's, yeah, it's gone.

It's gone. Huh. I mean, listen. Sure. You know, he just sees trash and he gets the show. I was with a sister bowling. Have ever been to a wax museum? There's one in L.A., but I don't think I've technically been to it.

That would be kitchy if you went in LA. I'm talking like, did you ever go on vacation with a family? No. No, no, no. Good? Have you been to a T.J. Max or Marshalls or Ross dress for less than the last 30 days? Not in the last 30 days, but I did get my wife's engagement ring at Marshalls. I'm sorry, can you say that for the listeners in the back?

I bought my wife's engagement ring at Marshalls What How did this not come up the last time you were here? Maybe it did No, what do you expect? We wouldn't have him back. You're kidding me? No, I never spoke to him again.

Yeah, I... How did that stuff? Okay, give me the rundown of this scenario of how you end up at Marshall's buying... Which I'm not, I'm not shitting on you. No. It's okay if you do. I'm not celebrating it either, just so you know.

It's interesting choice. Well, my whole thing is... I got her wedding ring at Coles, okay? I had some Colesbucks on me. My thing is just that when it comes to Marshall's, my wife, huge. She's there four days a week. There's a Marshall's by us. She's there all the time.

When you can get pop culture t-shirts and an engagement ring, you know you're in a cool spot. And cookware and food for some. I got you a Rush t-shirt and an engagement ring. You're the one. The thing about those stores is they just get whatever's left over from the other stores. I don't know if that's true. It's 100% true. There's no standard inventory.

That's why they can do those crazy markdown prices on the boards. It originally was $400. I refuse to believe that. I just think they're smart businessmen. They're not. I mean, they are. They're smart, but they've bought inventory that does not move elsewhere. You can't go, oh, you know what?

I get every that's always in stock. You're telling me Harry and David's popcorn with the chocolate chunks. Isn't moving somewhere? How do they get that? We're talking completely different things. That's a specific product that's at Marshall's, right? Yeah, but they get that because that doesn't sell through in other places. And they go, well, we've been sitting on these nine cans of food that are like have a few weeks left.

You think they do that with food too and stuff? Well, the food they have there, there's no like, first of all, it's not called packaged goods. Yeah, it's packaged goods. And there's about four or five of each thing. There's not like, you can't go, oh, hey, you're out of this. It's all just milky already. Oh, I've never had this ice cream flavor denim Do you have this ice cream in a size 9 and a half by any chance in the back?

Listen, I'm trying to fit into an XL hoodie later. Do you got anything diet? Diet ice cream. I forgot I had it on. Yeah, there's just... It's part of your skin now. Flash frozen on there. It's crawling over.

Yeah, that's all just what's available. So how did you pick? Just gave me the rundown, yeah. It was at a time. where Y2K just happened Yeah yeah no it was it was at a time where I did not have like any money Completely understand and my wife and I were getting to a place where I was like I needed to propose it needed to happen in our relationship like to get to that next phase

So kind of she knew where I was at and I needed to you know commit to that next step obviously that's the relate you know it's the symbol of the commitment we had been together like like almost seven years of that point, like dating and like we had moved in together, but like it was kind of like, well, what's what's happening next, like in the next chapter kind of a thing? And, uh, and she's like, it doesn't matter to me. I was like, really? She's like, doesn't matter the cost. I just want to get married. I go, well, all right. If it doesn't matter, then like, well, let's get a starter ring. And Marshall's, Marcial's was the spot. What'd that set you back? One 18. Ooh, I can't say on the air. Ooh. It'd be bad form.

It would be bad form. But let's say it's under $500 for sure. That's good. I respect that. Mine wasn't much more than that. Natural cut or lab grove. Fake. CZ.

My wife told me later she spent, after she found out that I got it at Marshall's, she said she was secret. This is very sweet. She was fixing the ring at a ring store behind my back because she didn't want to embarrass me. She was replacing the stones that were falling out of it. Oh, what a sweet woman. Yeah.

Man, that almost made me cry. Yeah. If you had a little bit of life left in me? What a move to tear, you know what I mean? That's, man. Yeah. Yeah, she was doing that for like months and months and then like she's like, oh, I've spent like hundreds of dollars. I was like, oh, no, no, no, don't spend hundreds.

What? What? I might actually ruin. You're getting the big thing I read David's popcorn. You're trying to hammer out dense out of your car? That is, that is so sweet. That's beautiful. Yeah.

She's incredible. Yeah. That's great, man. Yeah, she's the best. I was adored once too. I do not remember those days. That's fucking sweet. Yeah, I mean, listen, that's what a way to put a fucking button on a humdinger of an app.

Way to put a ring on it. Okay. Cut that, Luke. Send it to him. Put it in his file. Crazy pizza. Crazy pizza. Crazy pizza.

Crazy pizza. Jeremiah Watkins on his YouTube page. One of the absolute best. I mean, just gets it. Like, that wasn't a. That was just Celebration. Let's talk trash.

Sure. Yeah, that is what it is. A couple of pizza boats and celebrate it. Oh, yeah. Congrats on the new special. Love you, buddy. Thank you. Thank you very much.

Thanks, coming up. Plug away. Let's be out next week. The next couple of these. Yeah, check out, stand up on the spot on YouTube after you check out Crazy Pizza. My new one hour special. Both of these boys have done it and are doing it again.

And trailer tales, which we keep getting so many people who are asking, like, when are Kippee and Foley going to come on trailer tales? Because you guys would fit in. We got to get Tammy on here as well. Oh, dude. She would, her,

Chelsea Lynn and Libby Higgins are a couple of the funniest people you will ever meet. The sweetest, the kindest. And they are incredible. And like I hope to be able to introduce you guys to each other. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're big fans.

Yes. Heck yeah. Kippy? Guys, we're on the road. Tour starts in the next week or so. We're going to be in Appleton, Wisconsin. We're going to be in Tacoma, San Jose.

San Diego, Philly, Atlanta. Those are all the dates within the rest of 2026. Get your tickets at are you garbage.com. Do it. Jeremiah, we love you. Love you guys. Gang, we love you. Check out a special.

Support Jeremiah. We love you. See you in three days. Peace.