Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Underage Drinking w/ Kippy & Foley

Episode Date: May 17, 2021

Kippy and Foley are back with a family episode to answer your garbage questions. They talk trashy family parties, having a bar in your house and a lot more. Thank for listening. Love youse guys. Live Shows: https://linktr.ee/AYGLiveShows PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage https://www.HelixSleep.com/garbage https://www.HelloFresh.com/garbage12 https://www.BoxOfAweseome.com Promo Code: GARBAGE Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/foleygrams/ Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

Welcome to another exciting edition of are you garbage the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash now here are your hosts Kevin Ryan and H Foley hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast this is are you garbage or is little show we sit down with your favorite comedians we find it figured to be classy or if they're just a big old piece of trash I'm your host H Foley coming at you on a beautiful day we're down here at Antutti's basement again got to talk to you a little business sure what's up you know her friend Randy I

I who I mean who in the neighborhood doesn't know Randy true anyway had a suggestion wanted to throw it by you okay if that's okay sure I'm listening he was thinking that when it's just you and me we call them family episodes okay but when we have a returning guest sure we call it company okay that sounds that's a great idea you like that is that okay that's a great idea I think I had last night but that's just me well I have to give this to you then what's this it's an invoice for $2,000 for consulting work for Randy from Randy yeah from Randy Enterprises yeah make checks payable to H Foley that's weird destroy that he's in

between bankers right now I'm gonna be fucking shredding anything you give it off my finger gang my boy is across the table from me so that's a family app it's just me in the Kipper Reno give it up for my best pal the real CEO of RU garbage give it up for Kevin James hey buddy what's up guys how are you thanks for tuning in as always please make sure you rate review subscribe on iTunes full video available on YouTube and as you know as I know Randy knows toting those Foley knows T-bone those those numbers are true true true I thought we were gonna go true a little fucking a cappella on you T-bone throwing audibles over there I

like I keep you guessing also patreon.com you can sign up you get bonus episodes of a YG get episodes of hard feelings fucking break out hit it 20 you think hard feelings is fucking this on steroids they're talking about Gwyneth Paltrow for season 2 and then also we're gonna be posting footage of the live shows on patreon T-bones cooking them up you'll be getting it'll be the parts of me and Foley closing out the show together we just posted the Raleigh the game baby the big game we posted the Nashville footage today shout out to say you'll see a shout out to Zainis and we'll be posting them as we do them so

another reason to add up and everybody gets those on every level yes and that patreon is fucking cooking yeah also couple of shows we got to talk about we do got to talk about a couple of sure we bring in T-bone let's get the rest of business out of the way so the business is this we've we've crunched the numbers we looked it over we had to map out we had the boys on the coast on the phone I just picture a big map with a truck driving by it's just stars for every show needs across America here's a skinny Chicago sold the fuck out how many shows do we sell out we got two shows June 24th we're doing two shows there's

any Chicago any tickets left on them there's no ticket none no tickets on not for a fat kid or a skinny guy early show and late show are both sold out so what we did what do we do we we added a third show Tuesday January June 20 22nd wow Tuesday before that before that we had a seven o'clock show that's halfway sold out hate to tell you by the time this it's probably it's probably cooked by the time this comes out so get them ticks get the fucking tickets guys because we got to add another one we got to add another one we'll do it I'll do you think I won't add you listen you guys know me think I won't add another fucking show

you choose okay you choose and I heard it's a meal per show everybody and then also Atlantic City sold out that first show so we had on June 8 June 18 Friday June 18 sold out the early show I think it was an 8 o'clock show sold that the fuck out on a 1030 so we added a 1030 show yeah I'm hoping to sell that the fuck out also city in the summertime ain't nothing wrong with it Indy we're gonna be in Indianapolis Indiana is that right Indianapolis Indiana a lot of I was flying around I'm not confident enough of my wind Midwest geography however you spell we're tanking over there let's move a couple of ticks in Indy

alright folks if you live near fucking I don't whatever's buy it get in the car see the boys get to the nitty gritty huh Chicago's got a motor on it AC's got a motor if you have relatives know anybody in the Indy area yeah let's just say we're behind on the polls everybody likes an underdog folks come out and see us helium comedy club Indianapolis Indiana yeah thank you guys so much for that how about a nice shout out to our producer extraordinaire the man the myth the legend over here Thomas Benjamin Wilkerson McMullan that was not right what a Wilkerson Wilkerson Wilkinson oh my god sounds like you want a dairy

company uncle who stole my inheritance how do they connect but alright is that true 100% really oh big time really spicy over there at the McMullan have you want some time and talk about it what do you steer your tractor what could you have inherited from your bozo family yeah no shit no my grandfather he did really well the textile industry had a whole bunch of cash set away and that got spent on a lifted truck in myrtle beach well how much how much cash could have been there we've got blown on a lifted truck yeah was it solid gold hold on your grandfather made a little cash in the textile industry

that's correct and how do you know this money was allocated for you because it was allocated for my entire family my grandmother got dementia my scumbag uncle signed over power of attorney from her and then fucking jacked the whole kitten caboodle wow i respect it you got it i mean that guy's playing chess you bozos are all fucking friggin yours yeah no kitten you guys are your progressive schools watching npr drinking martinis this guy was fucking hardball yeah this guy's playing for keeps yeah and speaking of stealing uh if anyone if any listeners have any music that make any music any bands or anything like that and they're cool with us using their tunes and the and the edits

we're doing on the road yeah send me a dm at towing mullin on instagram toby dot mcmullin on instagram and i'll check your shit out also drop t bone a follow sure yeah t bone could you we could juice t bones numbers a bit my numbers as well why we're fucking at it act of rank comedy we got a couple of fucking talented listeners i got t bones turned into a record mogul yeah right i'll check it out over there it's t bone enterprises guy send it over to the a and r i'll have my guy he already played one for us he's like you gotta hear these guys dude they rip i'll fucking shout him out right now these dudes fucking daisy chain they're fucking awesome daisy chain there you go all righty we love it uh thank you t bone we love you very much gang family episode just me and kippy

want to throw a curveball at you ask you a quick question i'm ready the shower has been greatly discussed here in in in toodies we've talked about the shower shower etiquette brushing your tea how you shower what you shower with um uh i'm from now on i'm going all hands my hand scrubbers i really found out the exfoliating hand scrub i have these gloves that are like exfoliating gloves that like really get in there man they really exfoliate that's what it's all about i think because i have all these gotta be showering with gloves on that's not true more like industrial listen i have all these little fat guy things like not moles but like just little things on my skin and when i use that for a week they all start to go away so i'm

gonna keep rocking with that but that's not my the business i wanted to discuss with you sir i just lost my appetite for a month what our targeted ads on instagram must be fucking nuts yeah it's all like industrial cleaners and stuff ooze sign up for these two barrels of ooze dirt shipped directly and discreetly to your house every month i'm not gonna lie i see a lot of billy maze i'm a lot of sign up for ooze monthly it'll take to shine off your coat listen my whenever so if you turn my shower on to get the shower warmed up i've showered in your shower have you i have no not in the new apartment oh no i have yeah um so when you shower sure unless you i'm like kramer when you go to work you should do me a favor take the trash out

everyone so well for me will you help the old man out bust of my balls all the time step up to the plate listen when i so if i turn my shower on to you know get it warmed up why i do my business you know i don't know if you do that i turn the shower on to get it hot i do my business and then when i'm done i get in the shower you following what i'm saying sure we've talked about this i don't like to go in depth in what your business is i assume it's not your taxes so we're speaking of the dump and jump if you want to get all military about it sure i've never heard that that's been just a drill sergeant next to the toilet go go go when you see that green light that means go two wipes holy two wipes holy shit that's good well that i mean that's not i don't have a

name for that that's just that's a foley that's in the first page of the playbook on the foley everybody did that you're telling your mom was doing dumping jumps no way dude no way male was like 37 doing dumping when you're getting ready to go out that's what you do you do your business and you get in the shower and you come out you're all cleaned up and fresh i don't i'm on a different schedule i really yeah oh man any who um so i have this uh like dead man switch on my toilet for some reason what is a dead man switch these go sideways it's an eject button hit it you just go up you go up into the fourth floor you kill some poor schmuck who was brushing his teeth sorry man it got heavy down there goose

great balls of fire we got a hot one here folks uh i got the giggles i apologize when you when i get your number it's so easy just if i can keep you giggling it's like it's like tickling a baby koochee koochee koo it's so easy uh anyway i have this thing if i flush my toilet all of a sudden my shower stops i don't know why it just because you're living in a hellhole i mean come on the water what are you doing you make a little bit of cash moving to the island moving the man listen the the the the the faucet will still run but the shower will turn on really that sounds like the fucking ritz it's a great shower though it's humble water pressure i wouldn't trade it for the

world i'm scared to move that's how good the water pressure is that's what happened we had decent water pressure in my first apartment new apartment it's like the commando 3000 i can't oh it's better oh it books daddy i couldn't do it got the big round like not waterfall but it's like probably eight inches wide like the big circle i need i need heavy heavy but i need it i need it strong otherwise it's nothing um however so it does that okay and it does it sometimes by itself anyway long story short my question is is this garbage because it happened today right off to a good start so probably it happened today and i think i'm gonna keep doing it on my own i was in there i had my gloves on i got my fucking beakman's 1802 fucking goat's milk soap i'm fucking going

to work on myself goat's milk and how to declass how to unclassify a fucking classy product goat's milk milk milk goat goat's milk goat goat milk yeah i'm saying goats anything with goat's milk is classy classy yeah how you say milk extremely makes it tragic yeah goat's milk y'all got any goats milk milk anyway y'all got any almond milk yeah let's get out of here bozo i'm an oat milk man listen um i was in there and i was lathering up about halfway lathered up you know and it kill it it it it quit the shower the shower stop they kept me the the drain keeps running you know the the water you can't turn a drain off what do you mean the drain keeps running no like the faucet keeps running that would fill up the tub whatever the fuck that's called that's

on two so you got that cooking no no no that's off when you pull the button down wait hold on all right hold on you're in the shower shower's coming out of the top yes you got your gloves your knee pads your elbow pads on ma be up in a bathroom playing rule the hockey wine change dump and chase dump and chase kid you got to work hard for the one timer go oh man yes we don't get every shower is the same when the faucet's running the shower's not okay so when you switch over the faucet stops in the shower runs so sometimes mine will just cut off and then the shower will stop and the water will start going to when the toilets the terrel it's flushed when your terrel it's flushed the shower stops and the spout comes on like the bathtub

yes yes yes yes that's what happens that's you got to get a super in there or something called a plumber that ain't right and when you turn the lights on the dishwasher stop and the dog barks don't turn the blender on i don't want to see what happens goddamn place is booby trapped like the mccallister chom over here trying to fucking catch a hot shower and fucking taking pink cans to the head low bridge holy shit so it kicks off halfway through and the tub comes on and the tub comes off so my piggies are still getting warm and there's still water show going but then i realized when i start soaping up why don't i turn the water off and then i get myself

really really soapy i do and then turn the shower back on that was what i was trying to say well i think your issue is that great is that trash or is that clear it's not trash it's not clear yours is a different issue i do the same i think most people are in the shower they got a little more space than you do to maneuver right square footage wise sure that's what i'm saying so like i wet myself right no gloves sands gloves and i do my thing and then i step out first of all i put my him shout out the you step out not out of the shower out of the water so i can lather up like the water's like maybe getting my legs or something over here doing my biz okay let's get in the lather the gooch whatever you need you really gotta hit two or three places that's all you gotta hit the

armpits see i the you got you're obviously you're an exception to the rule yeah i have to maintain because i have to think about what's the situation going to be like three hours from now when i'm sitting next to somebody in that fat guy funk tip as it's me typically that fat guy funk starts taking starts taking the baseline for a walk yeah that guy funk who's that bruno mars you need to get showered like rambo it's fucking deloused everybody i would actually love that does that happen to me every day what as long as i like fucking gen pop intake as long as as long as the water was warm yeah i have like four people scrubbing me with scrubbers he's probably so clean going the wrong way you're going the wrong way i understand but you're going the wrong way we

have to have a serious sit down a couple of handlers over at my house um yeah and you step out of the water so you're not and then you get in and rinse off exactly i think you're just a little you're a little tight yeah yeah yeah but i feel like you get cleaner because a lot of times the soap is getting washed off the scrunchie or the gloves or whatever you're using yeah yeah i think you're just i've been trying to you can't even shower normally i've been i've been trying to push for one of those curtains that go out a little bit you ever see them in the hotel they bow out a little bit the ring yeah it gives you a little more room or i really stop it i really want to change the dimensions of your apartment we need to change the dimensions of you or just turn the

whole bathroom into one big shower oh man the laziness we have to figure this out there must be a solution to this yeah stop to mcdonald's by the way i call you with a couple of bags mickey d's bags rolling around their back of your car the other day they're old that's nothing come on it's nothing patty's lying just so you know no i'm not patty take the car away from him that's how he got back that's what she told me i she's like this is like a year and a half ago that's what she told me yeah she goes he's getting big we gotta do something i go i know patty i break his balls every day i'm making a career i'm calling this fat piece of shit fat and she goes hey i'm doing my part i'm making fun of him hey one man can only do so much it takes a village

you're done bro let's go whether you encourage him at all encourage him that he's disgusting yeah i tell him he's gross oh that's too good um but she goes it's when i gave him the car he don't walk nowhere no more oh shit yeah he don't sometimes you don't even walk to the car i seen you taking uber to go i've seen you i've seen you taking uber to get there let me tell you it's all something you'll take that car away from me over my cold dead fat body i love that goddamn thing i feel like fucking michael j fox zipping around the city i put all my stuff in the fucking passenger seat i love that move got all your stuff right in the past you don't have stuff i got stuff my shades

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you get involved with the spoke post you get 20 off your first monthly box when you sign up at boxofawesome.com enter our promo code garbage at checkout that's boxofawesome.com promo code garbage for 20 off your first box now back to the show all right that's a that's a pretty good segway guys this is a fam episode so as you know when you sign up for the patreon uh we will read your garbage questions there's a fucking influx holy doesn't like me saying that but we have a backlog i just want to let everybody know we're getting to everybody um sometimes we got to pick and choose what's right for the guests so not we you know if you join that week we might not be able to get to a right away but we're getting to everybody and we're cleaning house there's a we've gotten through

a lot there's only a handful still hanging around um but that being said this is from Kevin Jacobs have either of you left a bernie and an ashtray outside of a gas station while you went in to retrieve it upon exit because people have i've heard this question a little bit different it's usually not an ashtray it's on the sill like on the windowsill of the whatever yeah um yes i've definitely done it how do i feel about it you've done it you've left it why not just enjoy the bernie that's what i don't get i don't know because any my whole relationship would smoke there's no logic to it you know what i mean yeah there's no like oh i'll sit and enjoy you know yeah i gotta get in there you're like a squirrel on meth

that's one of your bits always looking around a decade ago yeah man you're yeah you can be a tough hang sometimes but a lot of people are like that they're they want to do their mission you know what i mean i see people do it with cigars the thing that grosses me it doesn't gross me out in the moment but when i'm walking in the 7-11 if i'm not smoking and i see an old one not one that somebody's currently burning sure that's been there yeah like a cigar you mean that that that day never went back for yeah you know what i mean for whatever reason got hemmed up got hemmed maybe they started working there they never left well at the back i don't know what happened but when you see one of the any cigarette that's that looks like it's been rained on

instantly turns me off well when we were kids you know we grew up i grew up in the suburbs of philly and i was a skateboarder so there was a lot of shopping center hangs right that's what we did yeah i went to the shopping center who are you skateboarding with i mean you want the name the guys that i pony hawk the guys i mean what what what answer do you think i'm gonna give you here that you're gonna be satisfied with you and bam margera i'm kippy james ryan and none of none of your squad that i know the boys they weren't skate pumps pat did flip really we all skate it yeah all right his name is flip yeah flip i could see i didn't think flip pat flip yeah all my friends from high school we all skated all through the big guy wasn't the big guy

wasn't out there right who's the big guy no he's a college friend yeah yeah yeah now he's a little more refined guy we're a fucking gentleman suit and tie to work he ain't fucking deep doing all the born in the story this kid floats in a couple different worlds you know what i mean yeah yeah classy one minute but i mean skateboard i mean skateboarding as a kid isn't i mean we were trash yeah i whatever so we'd go hang out at uh at the crowds like at the shopping center what's it called crowds or something i think it was yeah have you ever said that to me i don't know i don't need to shout out the crowds the crowds whoa you just dropped property value crowds yeah what the fuck yeah it was a tough one it was a real sounds like a british insult

bunch of crazes they are a couple of crowds isn't it hold on to the more crowds as i tell you what the fuck bad day at the football pitch i'm done by the crowds yeah it sounds like a gang i don't know what's the crowds is the peaky blinders are fighting on tuesday yeah i hear that season six tommy versus the crowdslers no one touch these muffins in the name of the crowds i don't heard a fucking crowds dude i didn't know you had a crowdsers yeah i think that's what it was called i could the crowd crowdslers crowdslers i think we said just change it to act me it was a tough look it was a tough trying to keep the lease in here tough tough look um but we would hang where were we going with this oh so we i you know as as if when you have parents

who smoke smoking's way like you know what i mean it's not this like weird thing so we all like wanted to smoke as kids you're like that's what adults do adults smoke and drink adult smoke and drink and i really lived up to that one really fucking hitting home runs on that i saw one of my little cousin's porn champagne yeah i was like that's not gonna be good yeah yeah i i got i have like a couple of cousins like the younger they were like it's so funny when to see now we'll go to a family party and our we're boozers like we are boozers through and through like the kids start yeah i know you've met them right there's always someone's got someone's in a headlock someone's getting no need and then to see to be at the family party like Easter and like there was like

you know young teenage girls are like oh we're going around in the corner to go get a whatever and then they all got like caught with like white claws or whatever really yeah you're like oh dude imagine wait you had a bust and fucking on Easter i mean we weren't sending the SWAT team that's pretty that should have been a story you look the other way i mean it's we had a very uh understood thing which it was kind of like if you had your license you could drink which is kind of counterintuitive a bit but you could booz early and it's just understanding like a Roosevelt marriage yeah we had an open relationship with boo yeah if if you're if you're old enough to die for your country you're you're old enough to drink oh dude yeah she's 15 i could sign her over

yeah yeah oh we were big like you can have a fucking yeah you can have a cocktail not like it wasn't celebrated at the the family party but it's just one more thing swept under the rug yes if they if they were smart enough to go to one of the houses that was empty around the corner and you know dip into the white claws or whatever and i mean no one's fucking tracking them down it is what it is um but when i forget how that started but we would hang out of crowdsers back to the crowds back to the crowdsers uh and we wanted to so we'd be skating and you would see guys walk in and like flick a sig like a half of a burny or whatever you'd scoop it i wouldn't but like my boys would like run up fucking grab it take a couple of drag and everything like

dude what the fuck come on man i'll steal from my dad if we want him that bad yeah yeah that's it's a tough tough look it's a tough look yeah um especially how people smoke differently like a couple of my boys they take it like like it's a hit and bastone they're just they take like a hard pull and then they give it back to you it's that they're what you call darts it's all soft and the filters coming off a little bit you're like what the fuck are you doing it's hot yeah i don't like that yeah i like a nice cool bernie i like my bernie's routine put him in the freezer for a minute uh this next one great question this next one it hasn't come up yet which is crazy yeah this is crazy to me that hasn't come up um this is from ba and this is from bob shout out the big b big b

um and i think it's application is it trash if you grew up with a bar in your basement well this is very this is very at how it's done and why it's done i feel because growing up we didn't have one we'd go over to my my dad's like our family friend's house and they had they had like a real nice wooden one with like the sink behind it and we to us that i might as well been in a tgi friday's baby i was hanging the fuck out asking for the specials a couple of my times for me and the boys if your family had a fully stock bar it'd just be removed by the end of the night yeah that's pretty much all yeah yeah yeah well yeah we never had it and i always wanted one i feel if it was a finished basement with the bar with a nice if it was done nice for

like parties i feel it was classy but i'm also i come from third bank alcoholic so i can't call it i would have to say overall no matter how nice they are to how shitty they are overall you would have to say if we're being honest with ourselves it's trashy that being said i don't agree that being said fantastic well it's for entertainment purposes which is classy if you're having people over and you want to be able here you can have a bottle of wine you have this you can have that what the hell else would you be doing just hanging out on a tuesday hey barkeep two more huh little slow tonight thought there'd be more foot traffic yeah it's your basement dude um i say that as a kid who had one i was born you had a bar tell you something do you use the washing machine what are you talking

about in the early eighties we didn't all right mountaintop pennsylvania my parents first house the house that i was born in every time you say mountaintop pennsylvania i was saying top of the muffin true you shout out do it talk about clean living up there a couple of fucking summers fantastic they had a finished basement that had a bar that was i would say as long as the studio they had this bar put in when you came down the steps in your basement dude when you came down the steps you walked by it to get into the living room but it was huge okay and huge bar that's where we had the kegerator we had an old refrigerator that had a fucking keg in it they hooked the lines up they had draft beer fucking sinks refrigerators yeah but i bet it was old milwaukey's best and old crow

all right yeah it wasn't fray and why i apologize it was the early eighties which is trashy i feel what if we were serving fucking cocktails and sniffers it'd be any better you give the people what they want i wasn't entertaining the fucking the the royal family yeah you play the hits yeah what are you talking about give them the high heat here a couple of a couple of pbr's and fucking well whiskey all dark plywood the that's ply if your bar's made out of plywood that's dark wood whatever you want to call it all right i don't know what a particle board it was it was an old entertainment center just foam cooler no but all around the bar my dad had like uh like padding like but like nice nice leather pad like so the fake leather pad i know yeah when you put your elbows

on it it was soft clean living but dude the parties were christmas whatever it was like you were in a bar you didn't need to go in it a lot of those bars and i grew up with family friends having them they were very uh like uh vfw feel a hundred percent that's exactly what it felt like feels like you're in a clubhouse not a house or a bar and like my not a bar it's not a house it's a clubhouse my dad or somebody would be back there bartending so there became like a scene at the bar like people were at the bar of course and the living room was right there there was a screen door that went outside deck upstairs nice this is a big this big question were there any neon signs or any early like budweiser like signs because that's gore there might have been one or two but this was

the early 80s when those were that was hot that was like an iphone yeah yeah dude fucking classy yeah we we never had i always i mean but then i look at like you know shout out to our uh our boy c miers yes his come on that's like a pub that's like you're going to like fucking that's like a fishbone grill yeah everything's marble and nice that's what i'm saying so like but yeah but i'm saying either way there's still an element of a little bit of garbage to that or maybe that garbage you know that's a very old school thing to do i don't think it's trash i think if it's done i think it's done properly it's not trashy that's okay but i i think it's very by uh i'll tell you what i that is this i want one oh yeah when i get a basement i'm getting a bar

we should put one in here i have a bartender the whole time my uncle had one that was like a little mini one like one that you would almost like see it like a wedding it was like on wheels kind of move oh dude wait my aunt has one that we still it goes to like house to house whenever we have parties yeah it's big and heavy and plastic and that you can put but it looks like wood but it's all plastic and like it has a sink that you fill with ice and then that drink it's like very and we like oh who's patty's doing Easter it's going to patty's it's going here that's pretty nice it's going to carols yeah my uncle red had one like that same with the with like the foam around it it was real nice and it would usually be bare and then when the holidays kicked in it like popped

out and came to life i'd be like things on there some sense was like right in the dining room fucking class okay fantastic the counterpoint to it beat i agree that it's garbage because if you're class you don't have a bar you have a wine cellar i grew up with friends with wine cellars who's this guy that's debone a k the magic man uh yeah but not everybody likes wine like if you have money and you're relatively classy a lot of people like fucking cheap beer and scratchers what do you think about that posting up at the bar it's also but like oh i don't know how to call us also in my in your defense i guess i want a wine cellar too don't get me wrong just feel like an animal filled with fucking zinfandel and shit you're gonna have a walk-in cumidor full of

slim gyms something from 88 please keep my hoagies down there keep my hoagies subterranean this is jim summer 2009 alex was working the grill in you i guess your defense of our boy c miers uh his when i was there in the his basement bar which it's like fantastic we were just doing shots of fireball so there you go trashy it's very trash sure it's fantastic i guess if you did have money and you were classy you would have a wine cellar but we were he has money he's got to have something like that he's got to have a wine cabinet or something i'm yeah it's probably behind the bar he's got that he's got like you know yeah yeah i mean his looks like a fucking tji friday it's a fucking scene back there the basement bar and a wine cellar

there you go yeah gotta have a hot tub somewhere close by yeah i'm getting out of the city soon i've decided you have you have to have access outside there's got to be a sliding glass door somewhere around here too fully let's get out of the party parties yeah i'm oh dude hot tub i'm i'm you do you think i'm not getting a fucking hot tub yeah yeah for sure for sure hot tub time machine um this one this is from ren i'm not really sure this this can go either way i don't know if he means all at the same time or just in general um did your family ever own multiple dogs of only one breed because wait a minute you mean like two golden retrievers yeah which is kind of i so we we didn't do that's classy i don't know i don't know it depends no at the same time

we just kept replacing patches patches was an english finger spaniel we just kept replacing them how many there was like three or four patches that doesn't add up numbers wise there was something going on in our house before i was born you're still you're talking about 40 years of dog right there three dogs what the fuck what the fuck is that's what we guys age seven times quicker yeah in the ryan household well one or two i think we had uh you know i went to the farm maybe why the one was real the one was the one was before my time i was a baby but he was really bad really bad my mom hated him hated him then why'd you get the same kind of dog and name it the same well then because then my dad sicko is that my dad got the patches i had and my mom had rusty

oh so they weren't the same name no not the same name breed though okay there was a couple of pack no there no there was a couple of patches that's weird there was at least two maybe three patches no i think that's classy as fuck man it's always rich people you see with like two golden retrievers two great dames two dalmatians some shit like that what are you talking about it's people that don't have golden retrievers they have great things it's people that have like three and four all different dogs they're the one that's garbage dude so my neighbor so i we look like a fucking street gang we've been kicking the tires on a couple of puppies right and uh we're on the fence because we got a lot of travel coming up this summer so i'm like can't give it back i'm not

gonna give it back it's so fucking aspca shut the fuck up yelling at me about what i can't and can't do with a puppy well all these people are giving them back without you said this before i'm not gonna give them a shot up will you um get nice dog this is like the third time you've yelled at me not to return a puppy i don't own yet so it's my new charity the woman who lives next to me she walks dog she watches dogs in the apartment so she's like uh i was like oh i got in the i got in the elevator with a bunch of high rollers in that building i got in the apartment with i got in i got in the elevator with a tire's guy in there too and she's got like uh she's got like six fucking dogs and they're all like and she's like oh and then the next day she only had one she had her dog

which is like a little wiener dog lost a couple huh i go oh she goes you know she's like you know he's happy he's all back alone like she's like my dog's happy he's by himself now we're not like boarding these other two or three dogs or whatever she does it right there in her place yeah so then get this dude talk i've got six dogs in the apartment dude listen to this so then she's like yeah he was getting jealous that the big dog kept stealing his place in bed and i'm like in bed with me and i'm like why you're sleeping with these rando dogs i'm like this is bananas and then i go i'll like at the foot of the bed she goes no right on my head i'm like you're lady you're sleeping with other people's dogs on your forehead is fucking insane insane dude

that's bananas i don't even like petting other people's dogs let alone having this fucking gooch in my face it's no good man i wouldn't want my dog staying there in the fucking house of sin fucking puppy orgy going the fucking colligial over there and i don't think so dude i was walking a pit bull one time and this guy came up with like blue nose pit i got one too and pulled his iPhone out and showed me some photos like they make some good babies i was like you're gonna pimp your dog to me right now dude so weird so weird he was like he was literally like we can make a little cash i was like this is not my dog the dog has the lipstick out so do i not too shabby uh all right this one's from breadstick ever have an office chair in the

living room or family room aka wherever the tv is that is the definition of a tough look it was never started out there no but it was definitely missing a wheel that one needed a doughnut i would i would sew this fully i would rather have the chair missing the wheel than the wheel that always comes out because every time you move it it slides out this fucking like a jerk off yeah like a jerk off we never we never had the we never had had the random chair sometimes that was the best chair in the house because it was comfortable to sit in well be watching your shoes if your computer a lot of times the computer was in people's family rooms especially in the 90s oh man remember that if there wasn't a lot of room it

would be like in the back of the family room like behind the couch or something those little fucking computer stands or like a little desk yeah oh yeah look at you were starting microsoft ha ha ha hey bezos can't fucking here's rocks kick them dude you got so many pictures of dad sitting in front like an epson in the fucking yeah 90s chair propped up with paperback books yeah not knowing what the fuck they're doing if you got an office chair sitting on blocks you're in a bad way that's bad too and then also the people the fat like the home if you i had a buddy who his was in his family room right the computer was in the family desktop right yeah of course i mean this is like dude you're getting a dell this is like you know mid 90s you should have saw the

computer i went to college with holy shit man it took like four guys to carry it in it was an it was an epson fucking something salt an epson epic i think it was and just to get like the word processor up to like type up a report or i don't have somebody on a stationary bike it took like three floppy disks floppies to fucking juice it up that was when those little hardjohns came out everybody else had them the hard jones those little hard disks remember the ones for apple were they three and a half or something they were called yeah they said a little piece of metal would slide over it looked like something from like strange days or something i'm not sure i know you're yeah that's a floppy disk no floppy's a floppy those were hard disks oh the hard

disk yeah see look at that there you go with the metal thing i thought dude i thought i was in fuck that's what i'm saying yeah yeah i'd be like look i'll open it i don't care i'm a fucking badass dude fuck you out of here dude oh that's so funny ryan's gone rogue he's exposed to distant air he took over control outside the library he's a mad man that number munchers how about the number muncher that was an old one more of a butt muncher man so what are you doing your own time is your business sir this is a fucking family program okay this one i mean some are just home ryan's this is from pete kayho uh pd everybody shampoo by the gallon well that's why i asked kim but when we had kim on i know

how big was the detergent you get because i feel like the bigger you get of something the trashier it is like my mom has like literally like a 40 gallon drum of some off-brand detergent downstairs she knocks it out of the park don't get me wrong sure i don't know how off-brand detergent is a tough look but what my mom i don't know if they still make them and i think my mom has moved at least down the shore she's moved to pods specifically but she's a tide she's a tide broad through and through yeah but she used to have the big jug of tide like yeah where you pour it with the spout on draft yeah yeah she would have that hundred percent and we have a rack above the laundry thing so it's just like a tap like you don't have to move of course yeah they get the

that cup gets so disgusting a little icky you gotta have water under it broad's gotta clean it up a little bit over there keep it tight how the fuck did t-bone go oh the lights weren't on oh you goober your job is the lights no not over there on my side from now on you're all lights oh man yep it's official huh i hate bending over to do those ones over there you could use the fucking ab workout so the whole thing that's like that way you fit in the shower we gotta get them on the clapper yeah yeah i'll order remind me after this episode i'll order the clapper and then beautiful um we want to start over we just do it line for line

read not to teleprompter all cross-eyed and shit yes my dad had a bar downstairs um what do you got this one's from christin uh have we ever used something not intended for you loved it and now use it in shame my husband used our eight-year-old's toothpaste when we ran out and now he'll only use bubblegum flavored kids toothpaste that's fucking awesome yeah that's 100 have the same fucking grit though no it doesn't yeah it doesn't no it doesn't do it it's made for teeth that are gonna fall out on the right i know yeah it's just loosening up for you yeah i think it is sugar just to loosen up the baby teeth get it up in the root um i mean every single one of my girlfriend's beauty products as far as like her it ain't working

it is though my skin is fantastic she's got the um you're just talking about all the stuff you have on you what what's my exfoliation and this stuff is cleaning it off that's what i said maybe that stuff's putting it on there who knows no no no uh my dad back in the day he used to use i used to use my dad's deodorant straight up but my dad used to i remember my dad used to use the johnson and johnson no tear shampoo really way back in the day tough guy huh yeah i think his hair was like he used to have a perm too my dad used to go get perms that's awesome and he's had perms and a big fucking eight i want one i've been i've been i tried to do a little one left in the corn scene just curls it curls it up t-bone should get one tightens it up wouldn't be able to be wouldn't

be able to fit in here we'd be up against the window fucking jackie moon over here the moon shot playing a fan to lose i think toby's on a little something homegrown you jackie you play for the tropics he's the owner operator of the tropic we're gonna trade we're gonna trade fully for a fucking washing machine ah man i don't care who you are moon shot that movie's fantastic corn dogs jackie corn dogs for everyone man that was one of those movies where it was before i had cable in one of my college apartments for like a month we kept putting it off so i just had to watch that on repeat and like go to bed with that on wake up the fucking dvd extras will be playing at like 10 i hate the menu i hate the tv plane when you go to sleep that's trash when you wake up in

the fucking tv's on i need it sometimes you do well we know not now anymore gotta get away from hotel yeah i don't want someone coming to get you to hotel the hotel tv's always on yeah kid me i turn the i don't tell when i go to my mom's and i if i stay on the couch and my mom's i'll fucking tv it for sure like is you're scared it's a little it's a little quiet out there in bucks county yeah man i go back i don't want fucking freddy coming to get me forever is out i don't like sleeping in front of a sliding glass door i can tell you that well it hurt that whole that whole room is also is all glass doors it's like you're in a fucking death box dude it's like you're in an aquarium for serial killers i'll take the boat yeah there's just a there's six of them it's my

turn tonight boys yeah man that's a tough look if i ever looked out and saw fucking somebody standing there i would fucking shit my pants and i start thinking like well it's always so scary when they can see you and you can't see them if you're inside and the lights are on you're a sitting fucking duck you're better all cutting off all the lights and hanging out in the dark just talking about yesterday where are we now you were i don't like it yesterday i came into the studio i unlock the door lights are off and fully just sitting in the dark at the door going hello toby it was like two minutes before but i told you i remember when i was a kid every once in a while my old man would when he'd be if he was watching as my mom was working

he'd kill all the lights in the house turn the flood lights on and we'd like sit on patrol like fucking in a little foxhole right in front of the bay window say to play a cool box shout out to the big man doing overtime keeping us safe baby but no that's when he told me about the when when there's when it's dark inside and it's when you have lights on and you can't see in i don't like it well the other one i like when the lights are off and you see out nice little sniper spot check the wire make sure no one's coming through Jesus Christ flipping off cheers for that i have a jello pudding pop in my stomach hey bozo can we play war later i'm trying to finish my ice pop here he telling me we're about to get overrun

we don't have enough ammo to fight these people anyway to wrap this up before growing pain starts it was great good stuff we did the dogs with one breed that's trash i mean not trash i think we might have touched on this before this from kasey uh bringing your own koozies to a party clean living or trashed dude trash come on trash trash using on my is trash i feel like bringing bringing your own anything that's just for you to a party is garbage yes that's a trash move yes whether it's booze or whatever you know what i mean if you're going to a party don't bring like just like a cell i got a little bit of myself you're like my own and like drinking your own thing it's just that's a weird tone okay you're a guest the koozie now you know exactly which beer is yours

yeah the one in your hand is it is it really that big of a mystery and that big of a thing i like to know exactly which one's mine what who gives a fuck yeah i i i never understood it we were never a family of it there was always like one normal people okay let me just like radio giveaways or normal people don't do it if somebody does it i guarantee you they're the weird one or something there's something screwy about that i feel like there's a positive correlation between people that use beer koozies and wear oakley sunglasses bingo right yeah probably got like a lip packed in or something or oakley sunglasses on top of their baseball hat okay in what environment is koozie appropriate i think a boat koozie's fire if they have them

you don't bring your own koozies on a boat are okay koozies i think it like maybe all right this is when i would who the fuck's taking that long to fucking drink a beer anyway sure i don't know three minutes sure trust me the first two you gotta get two in you know what i mean you gotta get up to speed gotta get across the river yeah real quick uh i would say also if you were like going somewhere where you shouldn't be drinking as in like a hey i'm not flaunting this a little bit like if you have the bottle koozie because you're like walking walking your dog or something at night you're like i don't want to just be the fucking guy who looks like i'm drinking in public it's a little it's a little more subtle that i'm

fine with but like what are we yeah i don't a lot of people are gonna be upset about this yeah kibby's out here putting the silencer on the barrel walking around yeah exactly also i try to sell them one time i got the maid remember that i got like i got like a hundred beer koozies made think i was gonna sell them on the road i think i got 98 still left in my apartment you had a couple of hair brain schemes before this took off that's all that matters it's all that matters kids are fucking cloudy with a chance of meatballs over here i never saw nothing i don't know i don't know it damn it damn you kippy damn you bad movie reverence yeah i was a t-bone i was a t-bone a bad movie reference that's what we're calling t-bones from here on this guy's quoting laurence

of arabia over here you guys ever seen hackers i have of quijine hackman no no with seth green i think right no i think you're thinking of can't hardly wait no with hackers with ryan philippine tim robbins no i'm thinking of sneakers with river phoenix and robert redford angelina joe lee you see your tits pg-13 i'm listening she had a nice little dairy air on her matthew it's a mathew lilor joint yes yes yes yes yes yes yes i do know that who's mathew lilor oh i know the guy who's been in everything in exactly you're talking about love him he's in uh bad girls or good girls on nbc's great i'll watch either one of them it's great they're all great great show all right let's see here a couple of more and then we gotta wrap her up i love this we've touched on

this before but uh kai's from kyle have you ever bought new clothes because you didn't want to do laundry shirts underwear socks etc that's how i ruined my credit at macy's for sure for sure that was a big one uh this one's for matt have you ever put coins on a train track to make homemade pressed pennies i've played on train tracks yeah not heavily traffic ones for some reason we knew better i think all the ones by us were done at that point it was a you you when you the first time you play on train tracks you notice it and you know okay i've crossed the line no matter how old you are you realize you're fucking garbage yes because you know you shouldn't be there it's real joe dirt easily somebody could get killed yeah all right his foot gets caught in the

fucking something but it was exhilarating oh yeah you're playing with fucking oh yeah you're dancing with the devil i call like i'm like a mixed group like a couple of dudes couple of girls you know what i mean like an older brother younger brother it was like it was like a movie you know what i mean when you were out exploring stand by me want to see that body oh yeah you guys ever see the video of the russian kids who lay down and have the train go over them who now those russians they play by their own rules make your fucking hand sweat are you garbage or are you russian that should be in the next installment i'm not doing anything it's gonna fuck up dinner that night i can take it out oh wait actually did you guys ever hear that like if you did that if you put the coins on the on the

tracks that it would derail the train that was i think that was by like the redding train company came up with what you're probably don't want to run but maybe it could i never wanted to do anything with that either derail on the train that's gotta be a felony i think i missed him here right i didn't fuck with that yeah it was at least intent yeah no way i wasn't going near that yeah we never really fucked with him my dad my dad said he like they grew up they would drive on the train and then jump off the bridge into the water like in rocksboro jesus yeah he hooked me the one time he always told stories not doing it but he told us stories like and then we were like where was the bridge and we were like in his old neighborhood or like we were like visiting my grandma or something

and we stopped and we got out and we walked i don't think it was running at that point anymore but we walked down like the trussell bridge or whatever and i was like i made it like it was it was we had to like step over the you walked over the over something like you could have fallen yeah fuck at that dude i made it like six steps i'm like whoop all right i've seen enough i believe let's go no way not doing it see chick-fil-a still opens now fuck that that shit's fucking bananas yeah wasn't doing that tell you that right now been like any of that shit um all right let's see this is from chelsea have you had this i'm deferring to you this is more your wheelhouse politics economics poetry what could it be

this is from chelsea if it's tsl and i'm gonna be embarrassed have you ever had a peanut butter and maple syrup sandwich i guess i believe i have really like just like like ancha mime is on it just to sweeten it up is that what it does man i think i got to be honest with you i don't think this was that long ago i mean no one's shocked you know what i think it was i had peanut butter like maybe like a quarter left peanut butter in a jar and i put some syrup in there and was eating that like a peanut hold on i zoom i zoned out for a second say that again i think i had a jar of peanut butter and it was like a quarter way filled so it was like you know a nice little crevice in it and i put syrup in there was eating it like that like instead of just

eating peanut butter with a spoon i was eating peanut butter maple syrup you somehow made it fatter yes like a bear trap holy trap you look at his heads in the bottle yeah what about a what about a peanut butter and honey sandwich i was literally just gonna say that fucking right up there with the peanut butter and jelly no fucking doubt about it one of my boys brought it every day it was peanut butter and fucking honey on uh like stroman's wheat bread and by the time it got to lunch it would like crystallize a little bit so there was a little bit of a crunch in it fucking top shelf what kind of bread were you growing up usually mentioned stroman's we were a stroman's family we were and then my dad moved to the

italians like mart mart martinelli's or something martin martinelli's is the is no it's not martin's like potato roll it was like another it was like italian it was called like italian love had italian flag on it well do you think it's trashy if you get those italian loaves of bread in the grocery store the ones in the white bag that's all class to me that's like as classy as you can get like it's always from the local bakery or something that's his class to me dude if you're buying individually wrapped bread fresh bread like that to me you never use that for sandwiches though it's always for when you have spaghetti you chop it in or something yeah yeah of course slab of butter on there take a bag yet we were 100 white bread whether it was store brand wonder sometimes

store bread white store brand white bread straight down the fucking middle until we got older probably maybe like you know high school that my parents started messing around with wheat or you know like seven grain or this or that or the other thing but never in the foley house you know like you don't have beans never would we have a fucking sandwich that that was wheat bread or anything no rye oh yeah rye on saturdays like rye was a special thing if they would go and like if my mom or dad would go to like the the good deli you know what i mean i said ours was prawns yeah we go instead of getting the lunch me at the grocery store yeah when they made one of those runs on saturdays remember going to lunch on saturdays just all sudden was a home run

there was like a fresh fucking jar of pickles there was fucking fresh bread fresh stuff fantastic came from a broken home saturdays wherever the days i was waiting for my dad to pick me up late here sitting on the curb somewhere i'm at home with two sandwiches oh yeah getting hugs and kisses oh yeah oh yeah uh that's when the rye bread would come in and sunday mornings was a big my dad whenever my dad was running running the show rye bread was on the menu always toasted we oh yeah toasted rye bread with butter good night wow that was something else i was my dad always had fresh rye he always blow your hair my dad always made sure he had a thing a fresh rye high seas fruit punch and orange in the like the boxes wow iced tea goldfish as far as

the eye can see as far as the like dude it looks like a supermarket like there would just be like a row of six of the cheddar a row of six of the pretzel two of the pizzas shut up to the pizza goldfish by the way damn i forgot about them till just now oh man and talking about the guy behind the guy those things are fantastic yeah they get the pizzas get you stuck in here too they're made out of something a little different that's my favorite part it's not just flavoring my favorite part about cheese snacks is the part to get stuck behind your molars guys that's it thanks for tuning in everybody yeah we gotta wrap up anyway really yeah yeah i thought there was a question in there we're talking about rye or something what was the maple syrup sandwich that was it yeah all right

we can do one or two more yeah let's do one more okay i mean all of a sudden i'm the bad guy no no no hey stop it i'm having fun did you do do do do do do this is from pootie tang i don't know if it's the real pootie tang or not uh did you did you ever stand around the tv before the news and scream your guesses at the lottery ping pong balls with your ceo siblings and then in parentheses we did i don't i mean we were a big guessing family we were like a gambler family i mean if there was if there was action we wanted in on it we wanted to be right that explains why anytime there's like a bit of a mystery on the show your eyes lit up and you're like wait everybody guess everybody gets oh yeah we'll do the same thing it's fantastic yeah yeah yeah we were guessed we will that's a

real trash that's a real bunch of fucking dirt balls with wait don't tell me well they have like fruit punch around their mouth jumping around the tv couple of bozos uh once we're in a diaper way too late six and still in the diaper it's a tough luck 12 year olds breastfeeding uh we would always guess i remember one time i think it went to like i think it was bush gardens we went to bush gardens for the week and like colonial williamsburg bush gardens and every time we went out to eat we would guess like the change amount or something like whatever the bill was if the bill came to like a hundred fifteen dollars and thirty two cents at like lunch or something at lunch dinner and breakfast it was like a weekend we like just to change i think something like i remember

just like trying to guess two numbers i think it was the change of like guessing would you get to keep that or something i think i don't know is like you want something my dad my dad used to be real fucking greasy with the cash like everybody was getting done oh really oh dude he would have a lot of twenties on him like fucking like a baseball dude fucking everybody the point where they wouldn't even like meet you know what i mean like they were like they didn't fold in half it folded into like a quarter you know uh you must have felt like big fucking big man on campus oh little fat fucking a lot of the mornings it was 20 to go to lunch and well lunch was like 350 for a fucking elementary school kid so i was packing the fucking

1650 a day i was about to buy a motorcycle or something i was saving up for a ducati and paid to go to school yeah it was great dude yeah yeah and there was one time like well i'm like yeah do you have money or whatever and he's like what happened to the change from yesterday i'm like change from yesterday that's in my ira you jerk off make good with decay i'm sorry is it yesterday am i crazy um no we would guess as the numbers were going to be real annoying like when i'm like mom's sitting there like trying to get the number trying to get to pick four your mom played she she dabbled a little bit my brother dabbled a little bit in the pick four they were big big pick four pick five people she never got greedy she'll go for a big one when it's a big pot you

know what i mean it's fought a tome alien this week i remember my step dad before they were like just state by state now they're kind of like everywhere a little weird yeah my step dad would be like i'm going to jersey who needs tickets like when it was jersey and pa were separate they're like the mega millions good guy he would drive to jersey to buy lottery tickets yeah good guy for the big jackpot somebody was in there in our by bodega playing that whatever it's called the thing that's on the television there it's done by the lottery company like kino or whatever whatever when you're doing your classy you're playing that and there that's a tough look and they go over to like the side of the guy like all he he's he's he's part cashier part

fucking casino dealer sure you know what i mean so they're doing business side it's where i gotta hear this lady go let it ride let it ride you're standing next to fucking yeah standing next to a pay phone lady you're not letting shit right standing next to pork rides lady what are you talking about let it ride let it ride it's a tough look ah gang this has been a family app we love you fun one baby get some ticks come see the show do us a solid go over to itunes leave a little review you know something for the boys we're making a sprint here top 100 trying to get into charts yeah 106 as of today we'll see 106 changes every day 106 the hard way unlike my underwear we love you we'll see you next week