Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Viking Funeral w/ Kippy & Foley

Episode Date: June 20, 2022

We got a family episode baby! Kippy and Foley answer your garbage questions from Patreon. Thanks for listening. Love youse guys! Live Shows: https://linktr.ee/AreYouGarbage PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://www.bonfire.com/store/are-you-garbage/ https://www.Indochino.com Promo Code: GARBAGE https://www.GETUNDERTAC.COM Offer code GARBAGE20. Download the FREE Upside App and use promo code garbage

Gang, the middle class famous tour is about to kick in the high gear, baby. We're talking about a fun time, mix of stand-up comedy, play a little AYG with the crowd. Great way to introduce new people to the show. So grab your best gal, grab your best guy, grab the bozos, grab the homies. Come on out and see the gang. Oh yeah, we're going to be in Red Bank, New Jersey, Seattle, Portland, Kansas City, Springfield, St. Louis, Nashville.

And then we're going to Indianapolis. Ticket links are in the description. Get them. We'll see you there. Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast. This is Are You Garbage?

Oh yeah. Little show, we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that I have to go to be classy. Yeah. They're just a big old piece of trash. I'm your host H Foley coming at you on a beautiful day. We're down here at Antote's basement. She's upstairs on the couch, sound asleep.

Eight Bloody Marys at brunch. She'll do that to you. Okay. My co-host is coming at you from across the table. It's a family episode. We're circling the wagons this week, just the homies, the bozos and the squad. KJ, Kevin James Ryan. Hey gang, thanks for tuning in.

As always, please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes. Currently number 16 in the charts. Yikes. A full video available on YouTube, typically in 4K. And those numbers are. Trineroop. Cooking. Nice.

And obviously my personal favorite website. I know it's your favorite website, Tabons. Most of our family's favorite website. Get a pen and paper. Uh huh. Real quick, write this down. Patreon.com slash r-u-girby. Sign up for a bajillion hours of content.

They got it all there. It's cooking, baby. Get heart feelings. A-y-g. Livestream's a whole fucking nine. It's not bad. We got the fucking merch over there cooking. Merch over.

We got a bunch of cheese on sale. All the links are in the description. We do a real easy peasy for you. Not to mention, got that next fucking run of. The live. Middle class famous tour coming up. Listen, the first show back. We're taking about a month and a half off.

First show back is in Red Bank, New Jersey. Theater. And is about to sell out. Small theater, not the main one. It's about to sell out. Get your motherfucking New Jersey surrounding area. Get your fucking tickets. That show will sell out very, very soon.

Yeah. Come see us. We love it. And have a nice quick shout out to our producer, extraordinaire. The Magic Man makes us all look good. Give it up for Toby McMullen, ladies and gentlemen. What's up, dudes?

D-Bug. Jump the gun, dude. I know, you fucking, you throw a spike strip down real quick on yourself. Don't be McMullen. I feel like we got a pretty good give and take here. That pass, this guy was no look passing into the front road. Fucking ziggin' when you should have zagged.

You're going to be the one of the highlights lunching it. I'm sitting back fucking hanging out with the offensive line. You should have caught it. I don't know. I apologize. I got something on my mind. I said, you came in, you were a little, you know, you're like, I talked, you were all fucking, all in a tough.

We just, we just got back from Detroit, from Pittsburgh, from Buffalo. Shows were all fucking amazing. Shout out to everybody that came to the shows. Shout out to the Earth Towns, those towns. Fucking, dude, we did the Rust Belt tour. Ooh, that deep. Hachi, machi.

Fucking catching mesophilioma on the road. Hey, shout out to the down and out tour, 2020. Come back, I got black lung. What are we doing? Fucking salt to the earth, man. Mom's every, they were fucking just fun fucking shows. Woo, that Detroit's all right. I'll tell you that right now.

We were technically in Ferndale. Yeah, Ferndale's okay too. Not gonna lie. You got that Detroit style pizza out there. It's got a bunch of psychedelic mushrooms on it apparently. Shout out to the magic bag. And I'm not talking about the venues. I'm not talking about the theater either.

Charlie, get his fucking hemmed up at TSA, and eighth, a quarter fucking. Some of the fans are coming a little fucking heavy. Hey, Boston George, relax. We got a fly in the morning. People are like, where do you want my U-Haul full of dank? I'm like, Jesus Christ. Oh, where was that where we got those two fucking buds?

That was in Buffalo. Oh, because we were luckily driving the next day, but then I'm riding dirty. I'm fucking crossing the state lines. You're going to get the kids jammed up. God damn, that fucking stunk the whole join up. I thought we had skunks trying to fucking call the exterminator. However, we have a fucking wonderful fucking trip.

We get back. You take off fucking T-Bone hops in his Uber. I take me and Tommy. We jump in the Uber. Yeah. I'm sitting there. You know, let's catch up on some things. I look at my phone.

Let's check the credit card. Check this. Check that. I go and check the old Navy Federal account. The savings account. Okay. Negative 67 cents. Who cleaned who flees?

Yeah, someone went in and fucking. I had fucking A.G. hodds in there, not to be bragging. And a wave of panic goes over my body that I started sweating. Like cold sweats came out of my pores. So I'm over eight grand. That's all I got. I know. I mean, I don't have much more, but I'm just saying it's also like it's somewhere.

It's like someone broken and took it out of the account. Well, you're wrong because they did. Because I then. But then it's all in short. I'm aware of that. But fucking psychos don't fucking factor in. I don't know how long the insurance company is going to wait. I don't know what that investigation is going to look like.

I don't know what else they're going to dig up. It's like Geico shows up and starts dusting for fingerprints. What are you talking about, you idiot? They just put it back in there. I'm getting questioned. FDIC up to a hundred grand. I'm getting questioned by the general in a small room. Exactly.

Exactly. Away with you when you landed and realized all your money was gone. So your family's fortune of eight grand is gone. I then fucking make the next phone call. Or then the phone goes straight to fucking the head office. Patty gets a phone call. All right. Wait, is this a joint account?

It might be. Okay. I was going to say that. It's insane to be like, hey, someone stole eight grand. Let me call mommy. Call the bank. Call the cops. Call somebody.

What the fuck's your mom going to do? What you going to get to steal and fucking start start fucking looking for who did it? Whose car we did. Yeah. Who's cleaning? Who's cleaning money at the strip club? Currently there's a dirt bag somewhere burning bands. So I call her.

Now the shared savings account is they started that when I was a kid and they put like five bucks in there and it was sat with five. And then stole a grand. Talking about the long cost. Hey, we'll give you five bucks for you for your college. Fucking steal all your money once you make it. Nigerian Prince moves over here. She's like fucking Britney Spears is dead.

So I call her. She's crying. She's in a panic and I'm like, what's going on? And she's like, uh, she's like, I did something stupid. And I'm like, well, that sounds about right, but let's figure out what it is. So I have a shared savings account done. They saw it and I was like, yeah, I use that as my savings account.

Turns out fucking Patty got an email from Navy Federal saying, Hey, this charge was put on your thing. If it wasn't right, call, call this number. Okay. You never call that number. You go in, you look and see what the customer service number is and you call them fishing scam. They're she got a fishing scam.

Yeah. This broad's got fucking three hooks in her. You kidding me? Oh, I didn't sink her with that. She's what are you doing? Fucking nibble it on corn over there, throw a piece of hot dog in the lake and all of a sudden baddie pops up.

She's an easy catch. Oh God. So she fucking calls this number. And the scam is once you call that number, if you have a mobile banking app on your phone, it opens it up. They easily have access to it. Sure.

Cleaned out the whole family. The whole family? We're done. $8,004 they got? Holy shit. No. So she realized at the second that she did it, called Navy Federal and was like,

yo, this that the other thing. They, they tried, they tried to go. They took me treasured. Raised, raised a black flag. A couple of cannon fodder goes across the mouth. Man. So they caught it. But what Navy Federal does.

Well, what do you mean they caught it? They did, they tried to take the money out, but she called them. A lot of times they'll, a lot of times if anything like that, they'll, the bank will freeze it. And be like, this is suspicious. So that's what they did.

Now they hold that limbo for like, maybe two tree weeks really jammed. Yeah. That's what I'm talking about. I don't got time for that. Uh-huh. All right. I don't know if you got,

I got, I don't know if you got the same email I got, but my taxes are due fucking Monday. And I gotta be honest with you. I ain't too thrilled about it. Going back on the sheet with the fucking foreign investor. I got a way you can make some money if you want. Get one of them fishing phones, whatever the fuck it is.

So they, um, they caught it. They shut it down. She added triple layout security to her fucking thing, which she didn't have like a ding dong. And what they had done is they had, they had created a new savings account for me that I couldn't see in, on my app until I added it.

And they transferred the money over there. So that, so that, that's, you were made whole. You weren't, I could have sworn a little more than that. I don't know if she took a shipping and handling fee or what this broad's doing. She needed a pack of heaters.

But I'll tell you what, as soon as I fucking, as soon as they popped up on my app that it was in, I took it right out there and threw it in a check in account. Fucking close the wall off. I mean, she's family at all. Oh, but at a certain point, it's every man for himself. Gotcha. I was like, listen, I don't want my name attached

to anything that she's doing. Get her, get her out of there. Get her off the fucking lease. Stay that right now. Oh, damn. But dude. God damn, man. Fucking, what a way to fucking end the trip.

I was freaking the fuck out. Then my brother's got to get involved because he helps her with the finances. Smart guy, handles everything. Hey, he's over there fucking dealing with it. It's fucking, she's crying. She's screaming. Man, doesn't fucking end.

How trashy is that? Fishing scam. Does it get fucking any more garbage than that? I mean, it happens all the fucking time. Who are these guys, by the way? Somalis? I don't know. No, that's the pirates that steal the boats.

I don't know why I was thinking that. Fishing pirates, boats, nautical theme. That's where I was working. I'm the petty now. Yeah, I don't know. It's just fucking hackers. I used to work at a law firm that did a lot of... Can we get these guys?

Dude, it's just like... What's the drone situation? What do we need to do here? I used to get jammed up a lot, because at the end of the day, I'm a pretty lazy guy. So you would have to call... So a lot of times they would hack your emails and we'd be sending wire instructions all the time.

Yeah, you work for rich people. What do these rich people do? What do you mean? The bank always replaces it. Really? Like 97% of the time, yeah. So what they would do is they would hack into your emails and then watch the emails you would send.

They would target these wall firms that are handling a lot of money or the clients that have a lot of money. Hack in, look at all of the wire transfers and stuff, and then just mimic them. But they wouldn't be like, I need $5 million. They would just go with what's in place of...

If you're sending 50 grand back and forth, they're not going to be like, give me $10 million. They're going to go, let me get 20 grand, and they'll just do it a bunch until they get clipped. And they're fucking out in some island or a basement or something. I don't really know who these people are. Sneaky motherfuckers. God, that's fucking scumbag.

At a certain point, I'm fucking... I'm getting off the grid. I'm getting rid of everything. Go cash on their mattress. I'm going to bury it somewhere. No, I'm not going to leave it in the house. You're never going to be able to dig it up. What are you talking about?

I'll do what? You're like, Steve Bishimi and Fargo. Yeah, you're going to put it under a rock in the front yard. It's because you're too lazy to get a shovel. Put your 20s sticking out and blow it over. That's all right. No, get gold and bury it somewhere. That's good.

Do Ron Swanson. Plus, you'll need that gold, that currency. The holy treasure. After the fallout. Yeah, I'd go silver. Really? What bank for your buck? Who you been talking to, huh?

I know a couple of guys that train precious metals. They train precious metals. Kippy Vee over here. No one knows what's coming. Yeah, no, I get it. Yeah, that's... I mean, that should happen, though. They get everybody.

I don't like it. I don't like that shit. You got to tell these old broads. You just don't fucking click on anything or call. You fucking told her a million times. What are you talking about? Never opened anything up. That was exactly how the conversation went, by the way.

I think she got it for both ends. Yeah. For me, I'm like, oh, fuck. The bank was probably like, what the fuck are you doing? Oh, and then I'm calling. I was talking to a service rep, and she was talking to a service rep. And the woman's like, I take the lady next to me.

She was talking to your mom on the phone. Now, I'm putting pads on her. I'm talking to Patty. This is like chemical bank from Seinfeld all over again. The bank burned. Oh, dude. But... The foldies.

If you fuck with the flock, everybody freaks out. Yeah. Oh, man. My mom's no better, though. My mom's Facebook has been hacked no less than 15,000 times. Did I have friend work with... Did you get a friend work with... Don't accept it.

Don't accept... I'm like, stop clicking on stuff. Unless it's fucking, you know, Mary, Paul, or Aunt Patty. Don't fucking open it up. What are you doing, lady? She's like, well, you seem like a nice guy. We're looking for a fucking knock at all. Stop sharing people's opinions on January 6th.

Get in bed with the wrong people. It's all flags. What the fuck? I know. It's a lot of USA stuff getting tossed around on that Facebook. Oh, man. Jesus Christ. When's the last time you opened Facebook?

I opened it today. I open it relatively regularly, because I am the admin to the Facebook group. We got the squad over there. That's what I go over there for. That's all I do is hang out with the gang. Yeah, that's the only reason I use it. But also now, shout out to Big Kev.

We have like, there's like four Big Kev's in our life. One of the Big Kev's manages that for us. That's what started it. But let's get into some other fucking questions, goddammit. It's a family episode. Guys, when you join Patreon, you get a chance to ask your garbage question. Just the best way to do it.

Patreon gets the first crack at the goddamn cues. And we're working on a bit of a backlog, but we're getting through it. The fish are jumping on the boat. You know what I mean? It's good to see. We love it. We love it. We love it. We love it. This one's pretty.

This is from Richard. It's a little longer, so stick with it. Is it garbage? It's a question and then an explanation. Is it garbage if your mom met your stepdad while on vacation with your dad? My mom surprised my dad with a trip to Mexico and planned a bunch of excursions.

He got sick the first day and was down for the count for a couple of days. My mom still did the excursions because they were paid for and one of them was scuba diving. The scuba instructor... This is the plot of a long-came polly. What are you talking about?

The scuba instructor ended up being my stepdad a few years later. Get the fuck... Was it Hank Azaria? Did you do scuba? He rolled up with that big dong sticking out. Yeah, he was a hot piece of handsome. Get the fuck...

And Hank Azaria was already a fucking millionaire before you even saw him on screen because he had that Simpsons money. Yeah. I mean, compared to... The money Hank Azaria has made from the Simpsons, he could have five million movies and it'll never amount to the fucking money from the Simpsons.

Still got that hog, though, huh? Still got Debra Messing in the sack. That was... That movie... She was... Something else. She was something else. And then also that Jennifer Aniston.

That she was at her Jennifer Aniston-ist. Yeah, she was. In that. Free spirit in that one, too. The ferret, the tango dancing, the dirty dancing. To Lombada. I'm fucking rock hard over here.

Ah. Man, that movie... Talk about a sleeper fucking killer. Philip Seymour Hoffman. It's great. Stiller, Alec Baldwin. Baldwin's the boss? Baldwin's the boss.

What do you guys think Hank Azaria makes for one episode of The Simpsons? Oh. They still make them? Like, they're still going in and working and stuff like that? Oh, yeah. Okay, so not... Isn't every word in the English language

is probably recorded from him that they can just like throw together so he doesn't even have to go in. Think about it. It's probably the most recorded voice in the history of fucking cinnamon. James Earl Jones, maybe. I think they record it all.

Hank, Azaria's been on for 35 years, dude. Doing every character. It's fucking Darth Vader, bro. A little respect. To get 30 years on him. What? Vader. Yeah, but they weren't...

There was one. That's true. What do we got? I mean, he said like four words. What are you talking about? Pussy, I ain't your dad. I don't know who the fuck this kid is. How much does he make it?

It's got to be like a million dollars an episode. Not that high. 500,000? Fully, fully dead. 500? 300. 30 stacks of high society. Seems low, to be honest with you.

300 racks an episode? I don't know. Five million a year or something, probably. I mean, how many episodes do they do? They do a lot. Crank them out. It's hot in here. Ooh, it's cooking.

Schvitzy McSchvitzin already. I like it. Maybe his mom is Deborah Messing. Maybe. You never know. But that was a sexy movie. Sexy movie. This sounds like a sexy story, too.

I mean, that's fucked up. He's laid up with a couple bad oysters and he's gone out. I know. It's got fucking travelers viruses. She's not blowing the tennis pro, getting a fucking break. I had that one time in Italy. That was Stiller's fault, though. What?

If you were laying on the beach with your lady on your honeymoon, and that fucking giant noodle rolled up, fucking hanging in front of her face, and then would you ever be like, oh. You wouldn't get on a fucking houseboat. I tell you that much. I'm going to go take a nap. Yeah.

You take the snake out for a ride. Get the fuck out of here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nah, no way. Get my piece of that. I don't know where you think you're going, honey. Jesus. Yeah, that's fucking.

That's fucked up. I don't know, but love is love. What do you want? You know, I don't know. Hey, tell that to his old man. What the fuck? You guys walking around with sunburned and a fucking broken heart.

He shouldn't have had the fucking guacamole. I don't know what to know. Fucking still have his family together. That's what you get, ordering clams and acapoco. I know. Jesus Christ, dude. Stick with the chickie tendies. Don't touch the sushi and hedonism next time.

They're ripping in the tear. Kim, let's talk about Indochino. Indochino. Let's talk about not looking like a bozo at your next high-class function, your next wedding. It's fucking wedding season right now. You want to look your best. Even if you got a hot date, you really want to razzle-dazzle?

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How about that under tech underwear? Gang, you don't want to be looking like a bozo out there. You want to feel good. You want to feel confident. You got to have some support. Here's the crazy thing. Under tech is the only underwear on the market that has been tested by special forces.

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I wear them on the plane. There you go. Because you're in there. It's hot. It's sweaty. You got your jeans on, everything. You got to be fresh. Because when you land, you might not have time

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Get under tech.com. Let's get under tech.com. Offer code Garbage20. Do it. Now back to the show. Yeah. Did you ever see that guy? What?

He was, he's at hedonism. It's like a real, it's like a guy you would expect to see at hedonism. And they're like, hey, what are you, you know, how do you like it here? Why do you come here? He goes, they're ripping in the tarin. They're ripping in the tits.

It's fucking so creepy. Jesus Christ. It used to be a very popular viral video. You might want to save this for hard feelings or something, but you had mentioned to us, it's well documented. Oh yeah, we can talk about it. Okay. I thought we have,

but I could be wrong completely. No. For, you know, for the listener out there, Kevin's parents split up, got remarried. Kevin's dad, well-known story, got married in Vegas. You went out to that. Shout out to the Bellagio. I remember feeling like fucking hot shit at the Bellagio,

just when it opened. I don't think. George Clooney didn't even rob it yet. That's how new it was. You, I don't think you ever mentioned the fact. Well, it came up. There's a picture of me wearing a t-shirt that says Jamaica. And you were like, why, is that a Jamaica shirt you're wearing?

I go, yeah. And you're like, why are you wearing a Jamaica shirt? And this is one of those things my parents used, I go, my parents used to go to Jamaica every, my mom. I was also curious why you were 500 pounds at nine. It wasn't that thing. Oh man. No, not then.

I was, that's, that's a just a chubby. You were over 200 there. Six years old. They call them La Huga. A lot towards Huga. Holy shit, fucking fat kid. So you're like, why were you, where did you get a Jamaica shirt? And my mom, and at the time, my mom and my mom's boy,

my now step dad, but before they were married, used to go all the time. They would go to sandals. We go down to sandals. You had to have told them. We talk about sandals a lot of times. I know they're real. She kept it out of the file.

No, no, no. I'm sure we've talked about this, you know, very in the early iteration of the show. They were going on a little vacation and stuff like that. Yeah. You gotta figure they were dating. Oh, that stinks. I know.

And Denise used to be a good looking guy. I mean, she still is, but you know, back in her day. Did she ever come back with her hair braided or anything like that? Like a high school chick. She's got fucking Jamaica shock laces on the mantle and stuff. That was every back with a belly button ring. Every girl came home with like, you know, fucking shot glasses and came over a little more than that.

Getting it in down there. So they got married in at sandals. Very nice, small, intimate setting. And I thought it was clear. I mean, I thought it was, you know, the date. Do you remember if they had any sandals friends there, like people they met down there? I don't think so.

I mean, well, yeah, no, it wasn't. The Burkhards from Indiana or something like that. Carol and Tim are going this year too. I know your mom real well. Fuck you, me and my head pussy. I talked to you for a second. I got to deal with this guy over here. I mean, you sniffing around, beat it.

Wow. Sandals wedding. You also got to think, is sandals trashy? I mean, I don't know. They got commercials and shit. Yeah. Because it's a good company. Yeah.

At baseball games. That's not good. Hey, they got, you know. They got billboards on highways and shit. You don't see Ritz Carlton doing that. Yeah. They don't need to. Your family didn't go to the Ritz Carlton.

You know, you weren't on a plane till you were 28. Fucking judging my international traveling family. I'll give it to you. It wasn't the nicest establishment, but it was an establishment nonetheless. Free jet ski ride with every room. Free waters game lessons. Oh, shit.

It's got to be nice. What's trashy? I get that it's not like. And does hedonism still exist? That should be the next Patreon at all. I was just going to say that. We all go down there and fuck each other. Darn it, hedonism.

I used to hear hedonism. I think you're connecting hedonism and a fine establishment of sandals resorts. It's all sex romps. What we did is it's all black lights and fucking butthole stuff. No. Sandals, I will argue, it's not classy.

It's nice. It's not trashy. But my mom is. Start passing out a limited shrimp. What do you got? T-bones doing some fishing over there. Okay. What I would say is that it's not leaning classy

because they're really hiding the price on this thing. That's classy. You think that's classy? Yeah. That's like market price. How much is the lobster? That's the clasiest thing on the menu. They don't list that either.

List and I come from classy, classy people. Also too, this is, you know, I know this is, I haven't told you this is a. See what a sandals package for two is for the weekend. Yeah. I mean, I'll give you my credit card. My mom is a big, big, big news, big news on the Denise front.

She's going, she's traveling to Europe. Okay. Like a month or two. Back to the old country? Two, two months going to Italy. Italy. On a Perillo tour. They're going on a Perillo tour.

Oh, shit. Me, Patty, we're all going. Shout out to the Perillos. Her, I believe in my Aunt Kate are going. They're riding around in that red bus or whatever they got over there. I think it's a boat. I think it's like a little bit of a cruise,

a little bit of a, you know, you do every, you do a day in Portofino, a day in, you know. You go into a restaurant, they have a deal set up. You get a bite of this, a bite of that. Used to see, they used to fuck them. New York, David Rowland, fucking 19 credit cards all set up.

Bunch of vouchers and shit. But it's also at the same time, I mean, this is a bit snow to ask of us. What is? Shitting on some sort of international travel, I feel. I'm all about the Perillo tours. Yeah. Could never afford them.

Guy sold too. It's also like every at that tan. That's how I want. I don't want my mom fucking, you know, ending up in like some sort of taken situation. You know what I mean? Like she's got to be with a group. This is all broad.

She's from fucking Kensington Village. You don't know what she's doing out there. They got to stay in that a hostel. Yeah, exactly. She won't be nice. She don't know nothing. No. Woo.

Yeah. Had drop of sandals. Now it ain't no $4.99. I'll tell you that much. God. Damn. Check the numbers on that Perillo tour too. Yeah.

Did he just start to spend a little cash now that they're retired? That wouldn't be a bad fucking thing. I think they made a bunch in Bitcoin or Bitcoin. That wouldn't be a bad Patreon goal. Take a nice Perillo tour. Well, oh, so my foreign investor, aka my wife, had a European money.

Yeah, had a suggestion. I think I would freak out. One of the Patreon goals should be we take the Queen Mary to England. My parents did that. I know. Get the fuck. I just saw Titanic.

That ain't happening. I think I would proper lose my mind out in the middle of the Atlantic. Get the fuck out of here, dude. What am I fucking? Gisepo Gisepi? Get out of here. I'm not fucking third class passenger.

I'm down there with cold dust on my face. You're down there with Hans. Get the fuck out of here. No way. A weekend at Sandals. Everything is sold out, by the way. I mean. I'm telling you, man.

Everything's sold out. It's a classy joint. Where is there only one? No, there's a bunch. There's a bunch all over like the Caribbean. This is Sandals, Jamaica. This is Sandals, Jamaica, Montego Bay. Sold out till goddamn February, 2023.

Whoa. But I think they used to do the grill. It's the lowest price is 33 Hyundai. Does that include airfare? No, no airfare. This is club level. If you want the Butler villa. They were not springing for that.

They were probably doing their own fucking laundry and shit to save on the price. It'll run your 4100. If you want the Butler villa with balcony. That's an extra G. How the fuck the Butler villa not come with a balcony? That's how I that's what fucking pisses me off about that shit. Yeah, I told it.

It's I get that it's optically. Oh, this is for a weekend? Yeah, four days. Friday through Monday. You leave Monday. You go to Jamaica for four days? Is that worth it? I've never been to Jamaica.

I don't know. We were supposed. Yeah, you have? No, I haven't. You fucking said you were at the wedding. I wasn't at the wedding. You weren't at the wedding? No, we didn't go.

What? No. How'd you get the t-shirt? They brought it back. It was a souvenir. That's what she brought back. Some bozo and a t-shirt. I gotta call dad down.

I gotta fucking step that in the hot tea. But I wore swimming on the beat. My mom went down to Jamaica to find a new boo. And all I got was a shitty t-shirt. They were big on Jamaica. Yeah, big. I think it was my stepdad didn't. He's a hillbilly.

Like he's proper like woods guy. Where's cowboy boots at? He don't think they're puffing the chiba down here? No, it's no. I know for a fact he is not a fan. Okie from Muscogee. You don't fuck with it. He hangs real old school.

Now this makes sense. All right, hold on. This is not my... He doesn't know anything about international travel. At the time. He's more well-traveled. You didn't get invited to the wedding. Was it discussed or anything?

What did she say? Hey, listen. You're not coming to the wedding. Did they elope? No. Which what does that exactly mean? You just glee without telling anybody. I thought that it's like when the dad's looking for you

or something like that. What? You elope. I guess from like, you know, like the old west. Yeah, you like run out of town and go to the next village. In the chapel. Run away secretly in order to get married. Yeah.

But did they say we're going to Jamaica to get married? Yeah, it's also different. They were together for like... They just told them they were running a wah-wah real quick. Can you get me a shorty hoogie? Sitting there waiting. Well, fat bastard. Maybe a claysie.

I'm trying to call her. You some barbeque chips too. Hey, glee glorp. Um, they, well, they were, it was, it's different. They were together. Same with my dad. They were together for fucking nine years. My dad had a, my dad had a kid with her.

Like I had like a four-year-old brother when they got married. You got the invite to the wedding at least. Sure. Uh, yeah, no. I don't even remember them telling me they were going to go get married. I don't remember anything. I was just like, yeah, I figured he's been living here for six years. You know what I mean?

What? I thought you were married. Fucking getting that will. What are you doing? Fucking, we're fucking exposed over here. Lady, you've been sleeping in the same bedroom this whole time. Yeah. Ah, beautiful.

All right. Sandals. All right. We're going to get married. There's 20 bucks on the counter for pizza. Yeah, probably. Well, no, I guess I would just go stay with my dad. Put your four bags of dinner rolls.

We'll see you in a couple of weeks. Oh, man. Fat little shit. Shout out to the DR. Don't drink a lot of slim fast. Well, there you go. That's a great question. Sorry that happened to the dad.

That's a tough look. He might have been looking for an out. You know what I mean? Maybe he might have been like, yo, go hang out with that hot fucking scuba guy. He was a scuba instructor, too. Damn, those guys. Or maybe this guy just pulled the wool over his eyes

and he was just watching a long cane polly, you know? And he just passed it off as his story. All right. This one's from Patrick. Have you ever slept in a bed that someone died in? I can't say I knowingly have. You know what I mean? I would freaking freak the fuck out if I found that out.

Yeah, I know. I mean, I know a lot of people have written in or whatever a mention or tweeted that, like, that's how they got their mattress. That's that. Like, their nana died and they took their nana's mattress. What the fuck? Man, you have to really, like...

I'll sleep on the floor. You have to be some different kind of atheist. Like, to be like, there's no spiritual nothing. There's nothing out there to sleep in a dead woman's bed. Oh. That's... You have to really be... I'm not religious.

I'm also... I hedge my, you know... You're superstitious. Super... Yeah, that's just something you don't do. You don't mow another man's lawn. You don't sleep in a dead guy's bed. Who, you Kenny Rogers?

Jesus. Yeah, fuck that, dude. No way. This guy was walking around in a dead man's boots. Yeah, that's another thing. You don't wear... You wear dead guys clothes. I do.

Yeah. I did. I do. Yeah. I do. Oh, okay. Jesus. Yeah, a conversation with yourself for a minute there.

Well, I was thinking... I wore them when... You did until it didn't fit. Yeah, but I did when they were alive. I would get hand-me-downs from my uncles. Oh, that's a little different. Yeah. I have a pair of my uncle Mike shorts

that I always wear all the time. Which they say that that was... Stained and peed. I was really doing his... Doing his estate real well, peeing in a dead guy's pants. The most comfortable shorts ever. Do you have a pair of dead man's trousers? Easy, Tex.

This is how weird I am. I'm just oddly superstitious. So a family member passed away two years ago or so, and they're cleaning out his house. This was probably last year. And we go over... He had a pool, so we went over to use the pool. And then they're like,

oh, go in, see if there's a bunch of shit there we're getting rid of or donating or whatever. Okay. Go see if there's anything you want. And right away, I don't even want to go in the house. That gives me fucking heebie-jeebie. He didn't even die there, but I'm still going. No, he's in there.

He's taking a couple laps. Yeah. Seeing who showed up. Uh-huh. Yeah. I'm going. See who's trying to nick the China. So I'm like, no, I'm not fucking with it.

And then my wife's like, oh, let's go take a look. And she took two nice... Like, not champagne flute, like nice... Your girl? Yeah, like... Grave robin? Jesus Christ. Fucking pulling rings off the casket.

What the fuck? You gotta be kidding me. I'm doing his shirt to get through his chains. Dude, so there's... So she takes two of them. This wasn't the day that he passed away, right? Literally a year. Oh, okay.

Like, it's been a year later. It wasn't like you had to party after the funeral back at the house and it was like, all right, take what you want. No. But some family members did do that. They went in and really... Like, still...

They were like taking... They were like taking food and stuff. Yeah, it's a wonky setup. They were taking... Eating a dead end's food. That's... Are you kidding? I'd haunt you forever.

They were taking like... Cases of like... Like, drinks and stuff. That was out of the garage. I swear to God. Supposed to burn all that shit. How's he gonna get to Valhalla? So...

I mean, there's... Yeah, do follies, do viking funerals in above ground pools? Is that the standard burial procedure? On the bed. You never have the opportunity to sleep in it. You're the mattress on fire in the pool. We cut all our clothes right before we die.

I don't let nobody wear my shirts. In a ceremony, you just light a sig and let it burn down then that goes up. They put a sig in his mouth. Cover him in kerosene. Just take a couple Roman cantals in his mouth for the kids. I wouldn't mind a viking funeral. I'll be honest with you.

I don't know how you would pull that off. Probably not allowed to do that. I think it's certain... International waters, probably. Yeah? Yeah. And I think it's certain... Do it on the Queen Mary on the third day.

Dump me. Dump me over like Osama Bin Laden. Fucking keep it moving. Jesus. I've been on record that I want to Irish wake and I want to be on the pool table in an Irish pub somewhere. I'm not coming at that.

What are you, nuts? Fucking... Eating sliders off your forehead. Covered your titties. To fly my topless. I would have a shirt on. Probably my Jamaican shirt. Two quarters over your eyes.

Get the fuck out of here. Like, Debbie Mcflin? You gotta pay the fucking... The Sandman. Pay the boatman to get you across. That's what I'm saying. You're stealing a guy's food and shit like that. I didn't take any...

Hold on, but let me... He's gotta have something to trade with St. Peter unless he's on the naughty list. So... Case Aquafina, get you into heaven. My wife takes two glasses. Like, nice... I don't know, not wine glass.

Like, an old school... Probably Waterford Crystal. Nah, they weren't Waterford, but like, old school, like, Waterford Crystal style. You meant to say something. You mentioned Waterford Crystal to a dirtbag? Holy shit. That's what I got.

That's why my mom got us for our wedding. Oh, they... Gotta get Waterford Crystal. Oh, they fucking write up... That's any Irish dirtbag has some Waterford Crystal in the dining room, like, hidden. That's the crystal. Kim, let's talk about upside.

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I remember when China cabinets were a big deal. I don't know if they still are. We have like three of them. You do? Yeah, but yours is mixed in. Yours is like a trophy store. It's like a case at the Pawn Stars. It's all different kinds.

It's like keys. There's a musket in there. Signed picture Elvis. No, yours is a mix and match. But I remember being a little kid, there was, you know, we had a dining room. There was a China cabinet with the stuff that whoever gave it to them for their wedding was in there.

And then there was nice silverware somewhere. That we were never allowed to use. They probably hawked that shit. I don't know what ever happened to it. Yeah, so hold on. So we have two glasses that my wife took and brought home that I refuse to use. I, if dude, I'll drink out of the toilet,

if that's the last class in there. Taking a sip of that and a bird hits the window? Oh, son, there's a cat in my apartment? No, dude. I'm burning the whole place down. Dude, I don't fucking... Give Father Mahoney on the phone. I don't fucking touch him.

I don't, I won't play. Nothing. Just like crystal. People's, people's essence gets caught in things like crystal. Yeah, it has fucking spiritual properties. I don't fuck with it. You hear them, you hear them cheers in themselves? The answer to the...

Fully's got to push it always one more time. Answer to the what? To the legality of the Viking funeral. Probably the one of the all time AYG Googles here. Is it, is it Google to have a Viking funeral in New York State? Well, it sort of is. It's the article. You have to be three nautical miles from shores and beaches.

And then you can cremate whatever you want. Yeah, it's, you gotta probably argue. It's like where you can, I'm sure you can argue it's a religious. I don't want to be, I don't want to be out there in the chop. You know what I mean? Well, you don't want to also, you don't, you don't want to have the tide pushing you back in either. Fucking...

Some kid on the beach eating a fudgy wudgy. Yeah, somebody's skin boards and hits you. Fucking ruining, ruining a goddamn family's trip to the fucking wild. That's where you want to be. You want to be three miles out little privacy. Yeah, light me up. I want to really cook too. I don't want to feel anything when the fucking crabs are nippling at me down here.

When I go, throw me on the trigger. Yeah. I mean, all that lard on you, you'll go up like fucking Chernobyl. Low and slow, baby. Low and slow. But the juice is simmer. Little apple cider spray every once in a while. Every couple hours.

Fucking shout out to it. Oh, that's great. All right, let's see. Yeah, don't sleep on it. Dude, thank you. Yeah, don't do that. I don't do that. I don't touch anything from a dead guy.

Hit a helix. Maybe not this week, but... In future weeks, hit a helix. At some point. Let's see. All right, this one's from Dave. Is it trashed to have a makeshift ashtray in the car? Yeah.

Your coffee cup. Any ashtray in the car. Even the ones they make, do you put in the cup holder? Ugh, you're gross. It's like the world, listen, I'm not a big litterer. I don't litter a whole bunch, but when it comes to sick butts, the birds will eat it. You know what I mean?

Just fucking launch them out the window. Which I don't think is good for them. I wonder how many cigarette butts are floating around in this plant. Trillions? I don't know. I mean, it's got to be trillions. Trillions is a lot. I mean, a lot of heaters.

Can you see how many sigs are sold a year in this whatever? Continental United States? Yeah. Continental United States. I think each pack is 20. A lot of people do 20 a day. 202.9 billion units. A year.

Yeah. Those are packs? No, no, those are individual sigs. Are you sure? Units, they're units would be. Yeah, units would be a pack. But there's only, no, that can't be, that's got to be individual sigs.

330 million. That means everybody's cranking fucking 10 billion burnies a day. There was 300 million Lucy's sold in the United States last year. Yeah, my buddy Justin used to do that. He bought like, you know, he thought it was like cool. He like went to you in the car wash. They'll have like, it's like a coffee mug kind of with a hole in it. I get caught up in that fucking, when I'm doing a little fucking window shopping at the car wash.

I know. Think you need this, think you need the little SDB at the back seat? The most biggest piece of shit I ever felt, I was at the fucking USA car wash or whatever, or sparkles. One of them, I forget what it was. Eat lunch. You got a hell of a fucking meatball sub in there. And I go in and I buy something like that.

I'm like, you're looking for something. Yeah, it smells good in there. So I buy it and on the receipt, it doesn't have like air freshener and, you know, phone charger. They were labeled as impulse buys. And I was like, I feel like the biggest fucking Rube. You fucking got me. Dead to rights.

And then you rub my face in it like an asshole. Now I feel like the biggest, I refuse to buy stuff at a fucking car wash. Just because I'm like, you know, you got me. You fucking assholes. Fucking throw it in my face. It said impulse buy on it. Enjoy your Garfield window sticker loser. Loser.

Exactly. And people have been like, hey, we caught another one. That was that. That was always a big sign when you saw that stuffed Garfield stuck to the window. We never. Good Lord. I pick it. Yeah.

More of a calendar. Everybody would have one of those as like some sort of church group or something. I had a member. I remember this when we were on the road. I wanted to ask you guys, did you ever have the blinds for the car window that suction cup to the inside? No, they that's for kids and shit like that. Having kids.

Now they have them where they where they go up in the backseat. Yeah. We never had anything. Ever. We weren't allowed. We were like you. Oh yeah. You did as a kid.

Made me feel presidential. Yeah. It does make you feel nice. I've gotten like a nice Uber where you roll down the window doing this. It does make you feel real fucking nice. We had those curtains in that in the Uber that we had. Those are real nice. Those keep the telephoto lenses out.

Do your key bumps back there. It's all right. Not a bad time. Keep the press out of there. It's where Beaver does his business. All right. This one, this is from Blaine. Is it garbage to take two clean towels home from the gym, use them to shower,

then bring them back to the gym so you don't have to wash the towels? Jesus. That's. Steal. I mean, it's trashy to steal a towel, but I'm with it. No, I'm all for it. I'm all for stealing a towel. I'm on it.

I'm on it. Sure. But it's trashy. You're stealing a towels that hundreds, if not thousands of men, have wiped, used in their ass cracks. Mm-hmm. Uh-huh. And you're taking them.

I like the dirty ones. You're taking them home. Use them. That's fine. I can look the other way. But then to take the dirty laundry back to the fucking gym. That's crazy. That's wild.

That's like returning to the scene of a crime. Will you, was your mom a rag person? Would things become rags? T-shirts. Okay. Still. T-shirts. Yeah.

Snip it right off you. Yeah, T-shirts. We had an old, we had an old cleaning lady. T-shirts. You do towels. T-shirts. Yeah. That's fabric.

Ask me one more time. That fabric's not going to work to get stains out. Dude, I'm telling you, this is stains out. Get your butter stains out of the carpet. Or whatever they're using the rag for. Yeah, like surfaces, not carpet. T-shirts, huh? Patty always did towels.

Like she stole from the gym. Yeah, no, it was this old cleaning lady we had ester. Which was weird. She would like yell at us and stuff. It was like she like came and ran the house. When my mom went back to work and was single, you know, after the divorce. Like Mrs. Doubtfire?

Yeah, a little bit, I guess. Just your, just my head. Hello. You just got a burning. Winston, hang on, that was about. Um, my dad was a Marlboro man. My stepdad, Winston guy. Cowboy, race cars.

Talladega. Winston's are all, Winston's were all right. Soft pack back in the day. Oh, he's still. Softies? I didn't know they still made them. Yeah. That's cool.

Maybe not now, but for the longest time. If you're a soft pack guy, you've killed people. Yeah. Right? I mean, you're a psycho. Yeah, you're a, it's a, you play by your own rules, I feel. Soft pack guys. Did I ever tell you the one time

he was laying down smoking a cig on the couch? Did I ever tell you this story? And he like lit it and was like laying down smoking. My mom used to have a crazy, my mom used to let him smoke in the house. And she didn't smoke. Like he was just smoking the house. Wild.

Um, and we were like, I remember being like, see if you can smoke the whole thing without ashing it. And he was like, all right. You know, so, I mean, dude, I remember he was like laying down. He got like almost all the way down. And then finally structurally, you know, the integrity gets compromised. That is the most dirt bag family bonding moment.

I said, she had to get your cherry. Some of the fonder moments of me and my stepdad. And he definitely did have his cowboy boots on the couch. Mom, you know, he's pretty cool. Yeah. We can't find the Jenga, but we got a game we could play. Yeah, it was big. God, I love it.

Play ripping heaters. It's like pie in the face. Hey, you got the ash on you. Move two spaces back. Lit the wrong end. Go to jail. Hey, you get lung cancer. Just once from Gabriella.

$10 homie never had a question. Red, is it trash to ask the restaurant if the water is filtered? I would defer to you. And I got to be honest. I'm not really sure the difference between like tap still filtered. I don't know any of that. I know sparkling and everything else.

Still. Okay. If somebody says sparkling or still, that implies, do you want a bottle of sparkling or a bottle of still water? That's going to come from a third party source. What do you mean a third party source? Like a bottling place. It's going to be bottled somewhere else.

And it's going to be the source of the water is going to be some spring or whatever the fuck it is. Like this is still water. That's a bottle of water. It's not in glass. You said it's a, all right. So it's a glass bottle, not from the fall. I don't think you know.

If you put some bread and olive oil on the table, then it's still water. Okay. Till I see some apps. It's just a bottle of fucking Niagara. Okay. Tell you that. No, that.

You're not sure. That is still water. Yes, that is still water. There's no bubbles in it. Technically, that's still water. Yes, it is. But I wouldn't refer to it. It used to be a waiter for 50 years.

If somebody asked for still water, I wouldn't bring him a fucking bottle of pure life, like a dirt ball. This is Niagara. Whatever. We're doing better now. You bring him a nice bottle of aquapenna, pop it open, fucking pour it,

check the broad out and see what she's like. Keep it moving. Okay. Tap water is just fucking water from literally the dishwasher in the back. Nobody's filtering anything. I always say, if you go to a restaurant, they have those, the old wine bottles filled with water

and bring them to the table. Do not fucking drink. I understand. But then someone had a pretty good thing of like, and we just said- They never cleaned them. I know, but this is, hold on. This is what we used to say.

It's also like, how, this was our logic for beer bongs. Because like as a high school kid, like you do beer bongs and it like ends up in a trunk. Like you didn't have like proper sanitary rules and regulations for a beer bong as a young teen. But so you would just run some water through it. Sure. And if it doesn't come out with the water,

it's not going to come out with the beer. So if you fill it up and dump it out and then fill it up again, see what I'm saying? Like it's cleaning itself. Otherwise it's not getting in the water. I mean, I just realized the flaw in that logic. Yeah. As I said, people are grabbing,

different people are grabbing a bottle of food. This that the other thing, the waiter's on coke. It's fucking, it's all he's picking his nose. He's doing gummies. It's a whole thing. You're the waiter I pick up in there. He's eating your burger. I'm checking out your broad.

Putting an extra tip on there when you leave. Yeah. Yeah. Now, you can ask, but they're going to lie to you. No, they don't have a separate. Why would they have a separate thing that they put money into to give you something for free? You know what I'm saying?

Yeah. Now I'm with it. A Brita. What's a Brita cost? 19 bucks. Never change a filter on that thing. Five years. Brita's all right.

I think it's just because it's cold. Is what is it? Yes. That's very, if it's in the fridge, if it comes out of the fridge. Yeah, for sure. A little charcoal. Let's see.

This is from Thomas. Never had one read. Is it garbage to buy a nice car, but you can't afford to live without a roommate? I would say in the world of maturity and responsibility, yeah, probably. I don't think you're making the best financial. You want to have a nice house and drive a Corolla?

Or do you want to have four roommates in a one-bedroom and whip around in a G-wagon? I don't know. I know. It's tough. I guess it also depends on how old you are. Sure. A lot of times the roommate is like,

I just want to have, if you're like 25, it's like, fuck you want to live by yourself. You know what I mean? Never. If you're 25, you want to have a nice car, try to pick up some fucking broads or guys, whatever you're into.

Whatever you're doing. And you're like, want to party with your boys? Sure. I'm with that. But even that is tough. Because then they're like, hey, jump in the G-wagon. We'll go back to my place. By the way, keep the noise down.

My roommates are sleeping. Yeah. Yeah. Or come back to my place. It's the party house. Come back to my place. It's the party house. Or come back to my place.

Just so you know, my buddy's down on his luck. I'm letting him live with me for a little while. It's really his place. You've done that before. No. No, I've never done that before. Maybe I have. Probably done it.

Probably done it at your fucking parents' house. I've lied a lot. That's what you're trying to get at. I might be lying right now. Telling my parents and my roommates. My parents are staying at my house. Yeah. No, that's my chair that gets you up the stairs.

I do it for the bags, really. I travel a lot. Who's proof juice is this? Get upstairs. All right. This was on Peach. Is it garbage to hang Dreamcatchers from the rear view mirror? My dad has one on his baby blue crown Vic.

Dreamcatchers are a tough look altogether. I think if you get real ones, they've become commercialized. I think if you go to like a, you know, medicine man or a chief or something like that and get like a real one made up, I could see that. But if you're buying one at the gift shop and fucking Scarsdale, I didn't catch any shit. I would argue none of them are catching shit.

You're not to run protected. What? You're out there unprotected. Yeah. But I don't know about Dreamcatchers then because they catch all the fucking heebie jeebies. Now you got a fucking Pandora's box of fucking. That's what you did.

It's like putting the stink eye or what it's called. The evil eye. You put that up facing out so no evil spirits come. You're worried about drinking out of the champagne flutes. Get a fucking Dreamcatcher and have a mimosa. You'd be all right. That way. Uh-uh.

You're saying Dreamcatchers, if they catch the spirits. Then you got all this. If you bump into it, one of them falls out. Yeah. Say it falls on a Florida Dream Shatter all over the fucking. They say you got three scratch marks down your back. Punch a bunch of fucking nightmares floating around. Get the fuck out of here, dude.

In the car too. It's like, come on. Yeah, buddy. You're driving. Come on. Ten and two. It's a green light. Let's go.

Dreamcatcher. I remember the first time seeing like some girl had that in college or something in her dorm. Yikes. I don't fuck with them. This one's from Leo. Is it garbage to pick your nose for 20 minutes straight while driving on the highway?

Fuck no. What are you supposed to get your work done? That's where most of the work gets done. I would, you know, got some stalactites under my seat. I don't know that much. Man, let them get all dry and crusty. If I can get a good cleaning in.

So you do your business. That and the couch. Most noses are picked on a couch or in a car. Same with fingernails. Because you're by yourself. Sure. Yeah. Bite them off right behind the thing.

Yeah. There would be some pretty cool moments. Cool moment is debatable, but. There would be memorable moments with you and your boogers. I would remember being a kid laying in bed lights out, picking my nose, right? And then like just fucking, just fucking sending it in the stratosphere.

You know what I mean? With a fucking heavy bike flick. Pick your nose in the dark. You were already whacked off. I can't do that again. I mean, who can do that four times in a row? And then, but you would hear it hit the wall. If you could hear it hit the wall.

Jesus Christ. Yeah. That was that was a fucking. I was that was hanging drywall that day. Trick a little more water away. Yeah. Holy shit. Oh my God.

Still a tap filtered. This guy's cracking windows with fucking boogers. Like a slingshot. Um, no. All right. This one's from Tony. Ever took a broken item from home, buy a new one at the store,

switch the new one with the old one and return it is damaged. I know that move. Yeah. That's a real dirtbag move. Home Depot got real fucking keen to that. I've never done it. Sir, you bought a lamp.

This is a toaster. I've never done it, but shout out to fucking our boy Sam Rubinoff. He is, he like is a, he has like a PhD in like being able to use something then package it back to normal. Like when he opens stuff,

he'll use like a razor blade and like, oh, so he really. Jesus. He calls it repair, you know, re-gifting or something. Man. Yeah.

It's pretty. Talk about Oceans 11. It's pretty, it's pretty wild to see him work around the holidays. Come January 5th or something. Gets the shrink wrap back on there too. Uh-huh. Every day he's got like a vacuum.

Tightens it up. Some serene wrap and a blow dryer. They won't know the difference. But I get, some people get awful, not get off, but that people really enjoy. Go in the extra mile and see.

Go in the extra mile and be like, I'm not going to let this fucking corporation get my 1999 or whatever. Me, I go, I don't. I don't give a shit. I'll fucking, I'll burn it at sea if I have to. I don't give a fuck.

And it's out of laziness. Yeah. It's just all laziness. Yeah. I'm not going back. I'm usually never going back. I'm never going back. I also like buy.

I don't know the last time I returned something was just throw it out. My wife, I'll buy like shoe. I'll buy stuff online and it comes and it doesn't fit or the shoes. I don't like them or whatever. And then you have to go to, you have to pack it back up,

go to a UPS and send it back. She'll do that. That's brutal. If I could leave it at the front door, maybe you can, you could do that. Really? Yeah.

You can schedule pickups and stuff. I didn't know that. I just don't, my wife's like, she'll do it. She'll be like, Oh, I got, she's cause that's how she shops.

She'll order like 50 things online. And then send it back and then get there, try it on and then send it back. I can't wait like that. No. Can't wait for it to all unfold. I had a couple of Buzz Lightyear toys coming,

waiting on those at the front door. Sweet. Oh, I'm sorry. I don't pick boogers in the dark. Like a cool. I was a child. And maybe sometimes as an adult. I want to pick my nose,

turn the lights out. I still want to do more here. This one's for a Michael. First time question. Is it garbage if your younger brother uses your old Copenhagen tins for street hockey practice pucks? Nah, that's sweet.

That's That kid's going to be a winner. Yeah. Back in the day, you were on a big hot, like street hockey or anything, right? Nah. T-Bone?

Nah. Oh yeah. But yeah, yeah. Watch a lot. I watched a lot of balls go into a lot of gutters. Okay. When it came around a gym class,

I didn't hate it. I wasn't mad at that. When we played, when we played hockey. Mm-hmm. That was cool. We're a kickball man, but you know,

not bad. Sure, kickball was all right. Yeah. Hockey was all right. Strikeout and kickball, that's a tough look. Man, there was always one kid. In front of the broads too.

Man. I remember a dude, my one boy, just had like the most inopportune incidences like every time. You know what I mean? We were like at the age

where kickball was like the last year would be cool, like my seventh grade or something. You know when like you started getting interested in girls and like they would, it was like girls versus boys or something.

And you still wanted to care and dude, he, my buddy went up and struck out like two strikes, like two hardcore whiffs and we're like, dude, fucking,

you're really jamming us up over here. You're making the whole fucking squad look bad. And then he's going, butt, you fucking pussy. Dude, we're like fucking. Just get hit by it, dude. I know.

Get in front of it. Step in front of it. And he wanted to like really be like, I got it. And he fucking wound up. And please tell me he kicked himself in the head. Dude, where is he?

He missed. Fucking pulled a Charlie Brown. He missed by like three feet. His shoe goes flying in the air. Dude, the shoe went over the pitcher. Dude, he fell on his back shoe, fucking over the pit. We're like, what the fuck?

Is he Peter Sellers? What the fuck, man? Yeah. Oh, ouch. Real doofus move. Ouch. Yeah, real bad. You got those,

those situations. I remember at a certain point, I realized you can't try too hard in those situations. Yeah. You got to let it come to you a little bit. You know, it's a good lesson and that is fucking dodgeball.

If you try to be fucking too amped up in dodgeball, you're looking an idiot end up taking one of the face. You got to play it cool. Yeah. Hang back. Let it come to you a little bit.

Yeah, but then that happens. Sometimes you're the last man standing and you're going against a fucking, you know, a team of five. And they're all fucking locked and loaded. Fucking sealed team six. And you're a fucking 215 pound third grader.

Oh, you probably didn't do well. I did all right. Yeah. Yeah. I was, yeah. I was all right in that, all that kind of stuff. I was, you know,

fine, solid average, better than average probably. Okay. You know what I mean? I got the, I won the golden ball a couple of times. Fully.

I was the MVP once. I imagine you played dodgeball with a ball in one hand and a five year old in the other that uses your shield. You got a nerd. Listen, buddy, you want to be on my team? Stop being a pussy.

Cincotti, take it for the team. Get it in the face. You know what was all right though in gym class? Badminton. Yeah. That was fun.

That was okay. Because it was like silly enough to be like, we can be fun and silly and stupid, but it's pretty competitive. I'll tell you, it was not fun. When you go out there and you see when they wage it. Oh, that bullshit.

They did our body mass index one day. What the fuck? And I was like, some kid was, I was like, we were like, you was like, coming at me with a protractor. The fuck dude. You got a compass on your neck.

You're like, what the fuck dude? You were supposed to do it. And then they were like, yeah, normals, whatever, I don't know, five to set or whatever it was. And how mine was like 82. They come at you in a radiation suit. This gets off the charts.

Get out of here. So I remember the one kid was like, I think your mass were like, like he couldn't comprehend that my number was that high. And he's like, nah, nah, nah. Your mass gotta be wrong. Like, dude, it's right.

Let's just like sweep this out of the rug and keep it fucking moving that. I hated that shit. We got to wrap it up gang. All right, gang. We fucking love you to death. Come see a live show as we said. Tickets on sale right now.

The link is in the description. Seattle, Portland, all over Missouri. We're not talking shit. We know it's a little bit ways out, but they're, you know, we're going to be moving some tickies. So if you want to start to move some tickets and the shows, you know,

we're going to start selling out. So so get on board while you can. We love you and we'll see you next week. Appreciate it. Peace. Peace.