Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Weird House Smells w/ Kippy & Foley

Episode Date: November 22, 2021

Kippy and Foley are back with a family episode to answer your garbage from Patreon. Its a fun one. Thanks for listening. Love youse guys. Make sure you subscribe! Live Shows: https://linktr.ee/AYGLiveShows PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage https://www.Allform.com/GARBAGE https://www.Manscaped.com PROMO CODE: GARBAGE https://www.DADGRASS.COM/GARBAGE Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/foleygrams/ Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H Foley. La la la la la la la la la, hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast. This is Are You Garbage. It's a little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find out if they're going to be classy or if they're just a big old piece of triangles. Trash, gotcha, sucker, try it again. I'm your host H Foley coming at you on a beautiful day down here at Antutti's basement being mocked while I do the intro.

Of course he's my boss so I can't say anything. Antutti is upstairs, knocked out, passed out, hanging out when they drinking yesterday. Yeah. Yup, got roofied. Okay, she did it herself. Drank at the, drank at home. She roofied herself at a bus station and came home. My co-host is coming at you from across the table.

Yeah. CEO of Are You Garbage, got a little bit of a five o'clock shadow right now. You did a little manscaping. You cleaned it up, you got a little, you made some, you made some things prominent. I've seen you yesterday though. You did this yesterday then. Yeah, but before I saw you. I know, you did this last night.

No, I didn't. Yeah, you did. No, I didn't. Probably put on some Springsteen shaving in the mirror. Gang, it's KJ. Hey gang, happy to be here. Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes, even though that don't

fucking matter anymore. Full video available on NewsTube and those numbers are true to rape. True to fucking rape. And then I would like to take a minute to thank the good folks over there at the greatest website of all time, located at 600 towns and streets. We'd 500 San Francisco, California, nine, four, one, zero, six, USA, phone number 1833-972-8766-patreon.com. Send them an edible arrangement, will ya? Buddy, they're getting a Christmas basket for me, that's all I know.

Couple of fucking Sherry's berries, let them know you care. We should send them a Christmas basket. 100%? Yeah, fucking flex, oh yeah, thanks for the, thanks for the, thanks for the web page. I'm gonna slide out there and blow both of them, what are you talking about? Hey nerds, thanks for the coding, all right? Holy shit, and have a nice quick shout out to our producer extraordinaire, the old magic man makes us all look good, the pride of the Chicago comedy scene.

Give it up for T-Bone, McMuffin, Toby McMullen. What up dudes? What up Tobias, Mike Zolf, lunched it already, thanks for coming in. T-Bones in your headphones, so on the recording, T-Bones still on the board. Very nice gang, this is a family episode, we're already giddy, we're already having a good time, we're here to answer your questions, as you know when you sign up for Patreon, I've got a question read on the air, KJ's people have let me know there's a bit of a backlog, KJ's a very busy man, and we will get to all of them, and that is what we are

here to do, not gonna lie when we started this podcast, thought we were doing a bonus episode. Really? No idea. You don't know what's going on. I don't know what's going on. I've equated it to you're the bear that I've trained to ride the bike and it's gonna fucking snap one day on me, I'm gonna get fucking, you know.

One day he's gonna eat you. Yeah, he's not gonna think I'm funny, but he's just gonna turn and look at me one day, fucking take a bite out of my neck. If you did that, this sounds fucked up, but I would take your teeth out. What? I would never just have a bear. You get him upset at dentures, looks like a dude. Just get him regular teeth, give me a fucking chance.

Hey, Busey, get over here. That'd be fucked up, but that's pretty funny, a bear with regular teeth. They've done that, they've done that, they've like Photoshopped it, or given it to dogs or stuff, there's a thing on the online of animals with human teeth, and also Buscemi eyes was a big one, which I kind of have, by the way. Hey, you a little Buscemi in you? Oh yeah, for sure. I think it's called jaundice.

Ninth cousin once removed. Also I want to shout out, at this current moment, I believe we're in the middle of a merch drop, it's a little piece together, but go buy some fucking merch folks. Yeah, check it out, man. Some cool shit over there. Some hot teas. And hoodies. Hot teas and hoodies.

And undies. Right for real? We could do a pair of undies. A pair of panties. I'll send you a pair of my old sheets. Throw the socks for free, could be these little piggy socks. You slide them off when you're on the couch, you're sitting there doing your little feet, slide off the sockies.

They typically come off early, like early. My pants come off right away. Jeans, I'm not, yeah, I'm not laying down in jeans. That's like, you feel like a cowboy. It's cowboy. Yeah, I'm not doing that. That's cattle wrestler. Yeah, jeans come off right away.

You typically change the tee. I got an indoor tee that I rock. Really? Couple days a week. You got a night shirt? Yeah. Real soft. Like an Ebenezer Scrooge over here.

I was walking around the candle. Matching hat. Yeah. I would have kicked those back in the day for sure. Yeah. The long gown and the fucking, and the sleeping hat. Sure. Oh man.

Yeah. How cold. You and your family all in the same bed like Willy Wonka. All eating chocolate bars. You all head to toe. How cold was it back then? Oh yeah. We're having a good time.

We are. Also, I'm glad to see the Hawaiian or the palm tree shirts out of rotation, but this thing's been bumped up in the rotation, making heavy appearances the past couple of episodes. Brought this kid up from the minors last night. Yeah, he's throwing heat off. Three-way trade with Detroit. This thing ain't going anywhere. No, that thing.

It's got a fresh patty wash on it too. That's like two months. I mean, fresh when you were down there. She did it on Sunday. Okay. And I didn't wear it until you got put it off for the first time yesterday. But when she does it, I don't know what it is. It smells good for like a month.

It's the menthols. She puts a little skull in every wash. Spring goes like, oh you bring it. Chief support in there. Is that what it's called? Chiefing? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, chiefing it.

Yeah. I like that it's the combo. It's like biscuits and gravy. It's making a new dish out of two things. Absolutely. That's what you gotta do. It's interchangeable. It's like a super group.

One last big hit right off into the sunset. Man, you are something else. It's interchangeable. I'm interchangeable. But it was unchanged for once, will you? Yeah, I feel like I'm doing a podcast with a cartoon character. I wish they sold double-sided t-shirts. That'd be awesome.

What? Like it's brown on one side and black on the other. Okay. Like a belt. Irreversible. Irreversible. Can't take it off. What the fuck?

Let's get into it. We got a handful of hot Patreon question-ons to get to. That's what we love. The homies, as we call them. The homies. Shout out to the homies. This one, you know, we play by the honor system over there on Patreon. Like we said, we're all homies, you know what I mean?

So we play by the honor code. I say, hey, let me know if you haven't had a question, because there's thousands of patrons. There's a fucking Excel spreadsheet of going like- I'd be lying every time. Well, this one is in Asterix. Haven't had a question. This is from Sausage and Peppers.

It's haven't had a question right yet. Ever lied and said you haven't had a question read on AYG's Patreon discussion board in order to increase your chances of getting said question read on the window or on the episode or just change your Patreon name? I got to. I respect the hustle, but come on. The change in the Patreon name is psycho. That's chess not checkers.

I'll give you that. Let me get me. Hey, I'd like to go down in a good ruse from time to time, you know what I mean? Call Pantalea, their cousin. Yeah, that's pretty good. I'll allow that. But honor system moving forward, folks. Honor system.

You're putting a stop to it, huh? Yeah, this is from Nick. I'd never have one read. Have you or anyone in your family ever reposted the post on Facebook to say repost this and you'll receive riches in 24 hours? Everybody's got an ant who's in a chain email. Well, here's the thing. Back in the day, that was science, not magic.

Sure. You know, five, six years ago on Facebook, that was the real deal. It was also something else. If you tag three people or what was that one little scam going? They were all going to tag somebody or tag nine people. Remember when people were nominating people for shit? What? Yeah, they were like the ice bucket challenge.

Well, yeah, the ice bucket challenge. That was nice. Yeah. Yeah. No money coming in from that though. You weren't seeing any. I did one of those. Did you?

Yeah. What? No, you didn't. I did it during the pandemic. Yeah. Dude, that's a great question. Have you ever? Did you do the ice bucket challenge?

Yeah. There was a lot of money. Wait. First of all, the ice bucket challenge was going on like a decade ago, not during the pandemic. What are you talking about? Maybe right before the pandemic. Dude, we were doing the Center City Comedy Podcast at Point Break on 42nd Street when

the fucking ice bucket challenge was happening. Maybe it was the warm water challenge. Maybe my hot water heater was out. I don't know. It's just being filmed, taking a cold shower. What up, Facebook? They just shut off my gas. Nine shares and maybe Pico will turn it back on.

Man, you're a bazoo. Yeah, I've shared those. I never did, but there's definitely family members in my immediate and extended family. Did you go to their page? It's a lot of, they still think it's like black magic. You know, they just shared it. Facebook has become a mental institution. It's all of our parents are just running crazy on it.

They came to the party and they fucking ruined it. You know what's big? My stepdad's big on the, you know, these heroes died for this country. 99% of people who see this won't reshare it. He just shares like a hundred times and I'm like, dude, these numbers are juiced. All right. Let me see the data that says 99 bed people scroll right by this. I'm scared to share it.

I'll share it. Yeah. It's a lot of like, I'll prove you wrong. It's a lot of my family's tonality on Facebook is come get it. You know what I mean? These colors don't run. You got a don't, don't tread on me cover. Yeah.

Dude, grim reaper on a Harley meme. Yeah. It's cooking over there. A lot of Punisher flags. Yeah. Yeah. That Facebook, that gets wonky. Yeah.

That gets real on both sides of the, both sides of the aisle. Yeah. Yeah. That party's over. Well, yeah. Turn the lights on. They're all, you know, exchanging meds and stuff. They're all fucking up.

My mom doesn't even, she speaks in like broken English when she makes a comment. Oh yeah. She's got children. Lovely day. It's all sentence fragments. What the fuck? She's like a dumb robot. Yeah.

No, she's got no picture. Yeah. Oh yeah. She stole the question mark. Fucking Carmen San Diego over there. Yeah. That's real shifty. They've never gotten it and the parents just use it for commenting on kids and sharing

memes that they think, you know, will save the world. My dad looks up trains on it too. Real cool guy. Buddy, buddy, you gotta get over, you gotta see this shit. I caught him one day just watching trains, like local trains on YouTube. He's like, that's right over here. Oh man. It's like, look out the window.

That's what they're doing on there, man. It's crazy. It's crazy. Yeah. It's nuts. Not a lot of people in my family understand Bluetooth or streaming. So like anytime there's like, you know, we're all hanging out having drinks. My family boozes.

I don't know if you saw them in Helium, but they booze pretty heavy. And instead of just putting on like, it'll be like the younger kids. Like, oh, we have, you know, like the generation my age and even younger. Like, oh, we have Spotify or Pandora will throw on, you know, the Rolling Stones or Classic Rock and just let the channel play. And it's always like three uncles passing back like a bootleg iPad. Playing like one song at a time on YouTube. And then like, they can't find, you're just like.

Go to Sunset Mix. Yeah. Put on Sunset Mix. It's good. You know, it's always bad when they're yelling at the other guy, what to type in. You know what I mean? Rolling Stones. Give me.

And you're like, ah, just fucking. It's typically the third one down. They put a TV up in, uh, in my old bedroom. It's a TV that we keep in the sun room in the summer and then bring it upstairs in the winter. Yikes. Yeah. You got seasonal TVs.

That is no bueno. When the patios closed, what's the point? But, uh, it has, it's a smart TV. And when, when you, you know, when you go to the. Is it all one of those carts like when you would watch a movie in a junior high, they wheel it in the AV cart. Have you like regular TVs? Dude, I remember when I'd move out of place, I was just like, I'm leaving the TV.

It's like. Keep the Sony. Yeah. There was, there was TVs I had in college where you had to have another guy help you with that. Yeah. Cause you couldn't get your arms around it. Two man job.

Plus you throw steps in the mix. You're looking at a fucking ankle ripper. But anyway, it has, it has all the apps there. Like just on it that if you want, if you're, if you have a subscription, you know how it works. Yeah. She thought that. Hey, I'm not looking at trains over here.

She thought that she was. Don't let her tell him, daddy. I love you, buddy. She thinks that all the apps are like all paid like I didn't pay for them. I didn't delete that. I didn't pay for that. She thinks she's getting screwed. She thinks she's getting screwed.

I know it. My mom is. Ripping the cable out of the wall. Throw in the circuit breakers. Cut the, cut the power to the mainframe. I ain't paying for Roku. What the hell is to be? Get this off.

If my mom's real big on the, if I, uh, when I'm home, I'll like, I'll rent a movie. I'll throw, you know, I'll throw all like the five, not like an own demand movie. I do that now. Like it's nothing. Which. If I did that. I'll still get, I'll still get, she still looks at it like it's a life insurance policy when it comes in.

Meanwhile, she's still paying for like AOL and shit. I'm like, yo, let's cut out the fucking, let's cut the fat. Let me watch fucking, you know, the inside man or whatever. Trying to get the town on. Yeah. It's on Netflix right now. Oh yeah. It is.

Uh, you know what I watched last night? It's not a bad piece of business. The town. The 18th time. It ain't. And it's awesome. Oh, it's great. You can say the Irishman.

No. Great. That departed. There's four movies. Give me likes. American gangster. Oh, come on. Fucking fantastic.

Really? I mean, obviously I've seen it before. I'm not bragging here, but I threw that on last night. I was like, I'll throw in something slow. So I'll go to bed. I had to get up early. I had to move the fucking car. It's 7 a.m.

They got me. Yeah. I rolled the dice this morning. I tried it. Yeah. I was at a 7 30 spot. Said fuck it. Came out.

No ticket. 7 30 for me though. Take that to Blasio. It's for loading for the supermarket. And those guys, if you're in their fucking spot, come 7 30. Case of cabbage on your hood. Yeah. And you jam up the whole neighborhood because now he's just, there's a tractor trailer in

the lane block jamming everything out. Smash your windows out with a bag out like the fire department. Fucking Yucca through your windshield. Yeah. Shout out to the Yucca fry, by the way. Um, keep it in like that. No, I'm not a big Yucca fry guy. You're nuts.

No, I'm pretty sane. Crazy. Yeah. Cuba can take over right now. What? So the Cubans can take over right now. Sandwiches? As long as they're coming.

All right. This one's from Jack. A bit of a danger ever smoke a sig when you're sick. Fuck yeah. It's all about hitting different. Dude, there's always the thing too of like shot a night cool and a Bernie. Sometimes you push it. You're like, I know I shouldn't do this.

Or you either wait too long, like you wait. And then like the next day, that one's great to the first one back. Oh man. First one backs typically really good. Coming out of this, when you start feeling better after feeling sick, you feel almost like super human. Because you're going, I'll never feel just even neutrally. Like when you're like really in a lot of pain, you're like,

yeah, I would give anything just to be able to, you know, if you're, if I got strep throat or whatever, I'd give anything to swallow and be able to eat. I remember like three or four winners ago, we had a really bad winner and I went down to Lansdale to do a show. I got super sick and ended up being laid up in my parents' house for like five days downstairs in front of the fireplace. Dude, I felt like fucking Clint Eastwood and Unforgiven

when I came out of that. Fucking had a blanket on me, walked out. It was like snowing outside. Had a smoke on the back. Everything's going to be different from now on. Holy shit. New lease on life. Yeah, that's that's sick.

Some, but it's like a scab. Sometimes you go too quick and it really jams you up. If you peel it too quick. Yeah. Yeah. Like that just sent me back three days. You got to have a bottle of Robotussin and some Dayquil in it. Yeah.

Yeah, you'll be swerving. The Dayquil always. Woo. It's like, yeah, you're not sick, but it's like now I'm fucking, you know, I'm begging for change on the train. Hey, fucking. Oh shit.

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Oh, fuck, that's fucking good. Good question. This one is from Adam Newpatron. First question, did or do your parents have any religious commemorative plates? And if so, of who? The Pope or anything? We have a lot of the, it's like that dirty Irish shit. The Irish blessing plate.

Yeah, we have that. We have that shit. Yeah, we got that stuff. We have all of that or something with fucking St. Patrick on it. We might have had a Pope John Paul picture up somewhere back in the day. It was more of a Pope John Paul kind of guy. Just give me the light. You don't know who Sean Paul is, do you?

No, but I get the idea. In my brain, I just do shaggy. Yo, that works. That works. See? That's who I cast. I got the picture. Give me a Sean Paul type, will you?

Put it up in backstage. We need them. Oh, that's funny. No, nothing like that. We had a lot of crucifixes. We had a lot of palm. Palm was big. It was always like if you put it like above the door, above the door, we would do like

it would like stick it in the corner of like a picture or something. They would be like, hang in there. I hate it going to mass. That was the only mass I went to or not went to, but like wanted to go to. I wanted to get my hands on that palm. Why? Keep the demons away. What do you mean?

There wasn't one mass I looked forward to going to. They had me on the superstition stuff pretty good. I was walking. They still have you. You do this if you have a bad thought for fucking 20 minutes. Not going to bad guys. You're nuts. Chase the scaries away.

Yeah. But yeah, we never had like super overtly religious stuff. I don't think. Yeah. No, you know, pictures of whatever from time to time. No altar or anything like that. No poor box. No.

You go around. You go around to those baskets shaking everybody down versus James. It's like my mom says, like, we'll be taught. She's like, I'll say a prayer for what? You know, like, I'll say a prayer. I've been praying. They've been working out. Let them keep praying.

It's always like I got in Patty praying to everyone's praying. That's a good one. Get Patty. Get Andrea. Get everybody praying. Sometimes she goes to me. You should say a prayer. I'm like, you know how far away I am from saying a prayer, lady?

It's a fucking. I mean, you got a better chance at me fucking, you know, praying to the devil. Switch it up a little bit. All right. This one's from one to ever go to a casino in the morning. That's a tough look. That I never thought about that, but that hits different. Never.

Well, dude, if you're walking into a casino and it's light out. No. Well, there's eggs cooking. No. That's fucked up. You got a problem. Yeah. Get out of there.

Uh-huh. We go, we've been in AC a decent amount. And even like just the vibe of the 10 square blocks around a casino in the morning. In the morning. Not a good hang. No. It's tough. It's people coming out.

People going, you're like, ooh, it ain't good. People just getting there. You're not on a good trip if you're arriving at eight in the morning. Sure. I guess it's one thing if you're checking into the hotel for the weekend or something, I can kind of say. Check into three. What are you doing?

Early checking, maybe. I don't know. I'm just saying. I can relatively get that. If you're like, if you flew to Vegas, you land, it's light out. You go check in. You're like, I'll go to the tables. That's a little more destination.

But if you're just driving to a, if you're driving to a casino and it's light out, that's bad. Let me ask you this. Are you an early check-in guy? Uh. It should be noon. Yeah. But then check out would be fucking 9 a.m.

No. It should be noon the next day. You get 24 hours. Yeah. How can check-in be at noon and check-out be at noon? Why not? They have no time to clean the rooms, you bozo. It's to give them time to clean the rooms.

Okay. And then the second it's done, it's like 3 a.m. Well, they should switch it then. Check in at noon. Check out at 3. How's that work? Now you're there for 27 hours. Man.

Then we're going to split the room with the guy for three hours. Hey. Hey, from noon to 3, Ted's coming in. Tell the Peterson's hit the ice machine on the way up. Grab a couple of towels. Yeah, no. Trust me. I love an early check-in.

I've tried cracking the code a bunch. I love an early check-in. But when I'm checking out of a hotel, I'm like, why the fuck? This is bullshit. But that's just the way it is. That it sucks. But I mean, most places are 11. If your check-out at 10 is at 10, it fucking sucks.

Yeah. Get your shit together. Figure out how to clean the rooms from 11 or 12 to 3. Like, what are we doing? Sometimes you check in at like 9 o'clock. You're checking out. You've been in the hotel for two fucking hours. I don't like it.

I don't like it at all. Yeah. I like a noon check-out. I always ask for early check-in, and I always ask for late check-out. Yeah. Push it. Doesn't hurt any body. No.

They want to throw 50 on there. Throw 50 on there. Really? Yeah. The next couple of hours, get my head on straight. Wake up. Take a nice hot shower. You don't want an early check-in when you get to Hawaii?

What are you out of your fucking mind? I have the plane drop me off there. Nuts. I'll see you guys later. Hey, Cap. Where are the drop point? I want to catch the continental. Give me a favor.

Fucking DB Cooper your way out of that thing? Swing by the east side of the island, will you? Oh, yeah. I'm already fucking plotting that. Yeah. Yeah. What, faking your death seal? Gonna pay the bill?

Hey, look. I got the sunglasses on. I got the sunglasses on. I got the sunglasses on. I want to speak to the captain. Oh, man. Hell, yes, son. Getting in as early as I can and they're gonna drag me out of there.

Don't have to cut that wristband off my hand. Yeah. I'll sleep back in and grab a muffin. This one's in the same vein. And we've talked about this before, but this has to do spin to it, which, all right, this is from James the drunken pro. Do you put your toilet, do you put toiletries, soap, shampoo

that you've taken from hotels out for guests that you're having overnight? Which is a very, that's a very classy thing. You've never used them, right? You didn't take a squirt out of a lotion or something. No, no, you have them if people are coming up. Because I just had, I just, we just had guests. We only have one bathroom.

I know, but if you go there, I mean, like, I use a bar of soap. I'm not gonna be like, hey, buddy, use this. Is that what they used? No, I went out and bought them, I bought body wash and shampoo. So they have their own thing. Okay. But I'm saying if you have the individual things of like, oh, here you guys go, this is perfect.

Everything's unused. It's all perfect. I can see that. You don't have to go make any purchases. That's fantastic. I can see that. But that shampoo and conditioner from the hotel always sucks. I would much rather use the good shit you got on the shelf.

That's not true. Yeah, it's not true. They've, they've come a long way in the, in the tech, in the, where we shack you up on the road. Yeah. Yeah. You state the red roof. Yeah.

Especially when you get lippy. I don't touch anything. All my fingerprints on that shit. You're over at the murder town. The place, the place they set us up in Philly, they had long comb. Yeah. What was the stuff?

Long comb? L, apostrophe, CC. Lock home. Yeah. What did I say? I don't know. It sounded like long, I thought long comb. I wasn't, I didn't know what you were talking about.

I thought you meant a big, a big brush. It was nice. I was looking for that this morning in my shaving kit. Got my lotion on. Um. Cause it's, it's chap season. I started taking it for when, uh, I just have a couple of them for when we go to Airbnb's cause a lot of times you go to one Airbnb, we don't really stay at Airbnb's anymore.

I like it. Just having them little johns in there. Yeah. Soap. I'm saying, so I got them for when we go to Airbnb's of like, okay, I have fresh fucking. And then you can throw it the fuck out. Yeah. It's like here's one or two uses for like the night or two that you're there.

Yeah. You're out the fucking door. It's fantastic for that. Using it at the house is a bad look though. I feel. Maybe. Um, but that's a very nice time. If you go over to someone's house to go, oh, here's brand new soap, shampoo, lotion.

That's classy. But they'll know it's from a hotel. Yeah. Whatever. But it's, you're gu, but also if that person doesn't have anything or if they've been traveling and they have like, I mean, what are you going to use it? If you go to stay at someone's house, you're going to like, I'm gross, but I like using it.

I like going in and using their stuff. Yeah. Like if you were coming over, I would give you your, I would first of all, I take my stuff out of the, out of the bathroom. You got body wash in the fridge. Yeah. Um, yeah, I would hide it under the bed. I would keep it, keep it away from you.

I love using other people's stuff. No. It's the ladies place. That's the best. That happened to you a lot? No. Not now. It did for a little while, but now I got to shower at my place.

Yeah. Which I don't think you do that frequently. Um, yeah, but I think that is a classy touch. If you're having guests over, because you just got to, it makes it a little more nice for, that's all I'm saying. A little more thought out of like, oh, here's this. Yeah. Use your stuff if you want to use their stuff.

But it's like, we've thought about that. We've gone the extra mile. My mom was always good with that. When somebody came to visit, it was nice. The house was spotless. Yeah. Put our fresh towels for them. It's nice.

Yeah. Good time. Menu was going to be nice the next couple of days. Is it a lot? What are we talking about? A couple of casseroles, a shepherd's pie. Maybe some cutties. Like that.

Kid Cuddy. Um, all right. Let's see. This one's from Alan. Ever seen your parent discipline someone else's kid ever been disciplined by someone else's parent? I was just talking about this not too long ago because, uh, Talk about making you feel weird.

Dude, it happened like, I was so, it happened with my, my, we were at my sister's house and the neighbors came over. The neighbors kids came over to play with my nephew, like my nephew, my niece and nephew. Okay. And they're older. Like he might have been six or seven at the time. Okay. Seven, let's call it.

And they might have been like, it was like probably pre-Junior high. Like they weren't, they, you know, but it was like in the neighborhood. So it was like a Tuesday night we're going to hang out. We're going to play football with the kid across the street. They were like probably 12, 13. The neighbors kid. The neighbors kid. So they were older.

Um, the one kid was driving. Um, his kids were there. So they were, they were over and they were on a backyard on the trampoline and they were both tying a team and up on my nephew. Okay. Right. Of like, I think they were throwing the ball out. Like they were playing a game, but they were just like, it ended up with them picking on

them. But also we come from like a bit of a tough love family. Like you got to, you got to deal with that a little bit. You know what I mean? Like if I can get up and hit them or something, do something buddy. Let's fucking start throwing hands over here. What are we doing? So, uh, and then my mom, the one, the one kid hit him in the face with the ball and we saw

it out the window. But it's also like, all right, now you got to react to that a little bit. You know what I mean? Also, it's not right for them to be doing that. But my mom. Oh, that's different though. That's a, that's a, that's her grandchild. You get out of here.

Oh, dude, right out the backyard. She was like the bouncer. Oh, grip them up. Kids knocked that off. Don't do that. He's younger than you. Yeah. We'll get your hands all like, like, yeah, it was big dude.

Me and my brother were inside with our fucking hands in our faces. It was like, God damn this bro, cuckoo. She went out like, she was just screaming at these people. She knocks them out like stepbrothers. Yeah, it was a fucking scene. I thought you meant more when you were a kid, if, um, your friend's dad would yell at you or yell at him was even worse. I saw how he just had to sit there like a fucking jerk off.

One time we, we snuck. Remember the kid that we saw at the Dallas game? Remember the kid I ran to, I grew up with at the Dallas game? Vaguely. Anyway, we one time climbed up on his garage and his dad came home. All right. And we knew his dad. His dad was like a coach, whatever, but always really nice.

That was the thing with those dads in the 80s and 90s. They were nice as shit, but then when you fucked up, that switch. Yeah, their whole week came out on you. Dude, they were, it was their boss, their nagging ass wife. You were getting it. You were getting fucking down. And he deserved it. And dude, it was usually once or twice.

That was it. Oh yeah. That's all you needed. You know what I mean? I don't feel like my niece and nephew or anybody's scared of me at all, but fucking these guys, it was like fucking once, never again. You think about it to this day and like post traumatic stress from it. But we were up on the roof, man, and he fucking came home.

Get down here right now. Yeah. And you always want to be like, yo, it was his idea jerk off. It was your boy. Like I didn't want like, no, he didn't yell at me. He fucking screamed at his game. I know. But and when I'm sitting there, I'm going, we're doing the same thing.

You're yelling at him. You're also vicariously yelling at me. Of course. Yes. But I want to be like, it was his fault. Like don't think I'm the bad guy here. Like this fucking idiot brought me up here. It's not like I pulled out the scaffolding and like got up on the roof.

Let me talk to you real quick. I'm actually working undercover. I've been taking notes. I'll send you to report. I knew he was just coming home. That's why I got him up there. This whole thing to set up. You start yelling at your friends.

Yeah. I'm 38 years old. You didn't recognize me. His grades aren't that great either, Mr. Bright. Look, buddy, you're going to have to hit me. Make it look real. Yeah. I remember that happened to me one time.

I was at my boy Vinny with the Skinny's house. And we were young and we took his dad's hat like a tool. Like it was like his hammer and we were like fucking around in the woods or something. And I hit it on him. Hammer in the woods is no good. Nothing good has ever come from that. No. You're not building a homeless shelter out there.

No. No. It was, yeah. And I hit it on something and it snapped in half. Like it was like a smaller one. It wasn't like a fucking sledgehammer. And I hit it on like a piece of rock or something and it snapped in half. Oh, is this a good hammer?

Hey, you fucking, I remember him yelling at me and I wanted to be like, bro, it's fucking eight bucks. What is it? Like I'm fucking- Who are you? Paulie Shore? But I remember him being like- Bruh, what's up, man?

No, I just wanted to be like, he was losing it all, baby, because his fucking life sucked. It was probably sentimental to him. A hat? No, it was like a fight with- Could have been his first hammer. Yeah, it was from like heckingers. It wasn't like this fucking old-timey thing. Buddy, chill out.

It's me, the kip- Don't blow a stack, buddy. It's just a hammer, bruh. But I'm like, dude, you're yelling at a fucking- I would have knocked you out. I would have ran you over with a lawnmower. Fuck it. What'd you say?

But I'm like, dude, it's a fucking hammer, bro. Like, I'll call my dad- I got him out of the house. I'll replace it. Like, what are you- I'm eight years old and you're screaming at me. Like, I crashed your car. Like, what the fuck?

It's a goddamn hammer. Does this mean the you-hoos aren't coming? Yeah, I'm like, dude, get off my fucking case. Goddamn. Yeah, I look like I looked you in the eyes while I did it. Like, it was a fucking accident. And he fucking screamed at me. I had another kid hit on my block.

My uncle Mike was over. Hold on. Parents got weird. Like, I understand your mom getting like that because parents get weird about that stuff. I'm like, there's a very thin line. Yelling at somebody else's kid is real- nowadays is real dicey.

Sure. Sure. You and that parent got to be in a real good- you guys got to be synced up. Because like, if it was- Sorry, if it was me. And it was like somebody- like, if I had a kid and I wasn't there

and he was doing something wrong and you're like, yo, knock that the fuck off. You know what I mean? Yeah. I would be listening to your uncle Kevin. Yeah. And we'd take turns working him over. I have that because our family's so big

to where like, I can yell at anybody. Regardless if I'm right or wrong, it's what did uncle Kevin say. Love that. And it's not like, hey, but you know, we're used to allowed to do this or something. And it's like, regardless of what you typically do, if you typically play ball in the house or whatever.

And I'm like, hey, guys, take it. Not that I do this, but if I'm like, yo, guys, take it outside. And they'd be like, no, our mom lets us play. He's a small town bartender. Look at that side. Hey, mind your peas and queues, boys.

And I'm like, hey, guys, go outside. And they're like, oh, we typically play here. At first, someone will step in and go, do not talk back to uncle Kevin. And also listen to him. Like that's an adult. And anybody can get God at any time. That's too much power.

I mean, first of all, I don't care. You trust the family. I'm still playing Steady QB in the family room. I'll tell you what happens is kids, if that doesn't happen to them, they're going to be fucking bozos. You got to listen to the adults. That was the biggest thing.

But an adult told you something, you did it. Yeah. That's how most of us got hemmed up. Yeah, sure. That's how they got us. But my uncle, the one time he came up and now I'm looking, he was probably younger than me at the time. He was probably in his 20s.

This was probably his 30s. It was 20 something years ago. He came up to our house. He was staying with us for like the night or something. Like visiting my parents or my mom. And there was a kid on the block, Ryan, bad ass kid. Oh, that's great. Bad ass kid.

Like just not like, not like cool, just like rude. Bad rotten kid. Yeah, bad seed. Bad seed. That's a kid whose uncles aren't allowed to yell at him. Sure. And he said, he told my uncle to fuck off or whatever. What?

Something he cursed. And on the couch, uncle with nothing to lose? That was a real Toby vibes if you catch my drift. Real long hair bozo. Yeah, this kid rules. Yeah. And he said something like, go fuck yourself for this fucking stink. So that's not fucking fair or something.

He was like seven and I was younger. I was like five. I remember my uncle grabbed him and said, get out of here. Just like fucking kick rocks, get game over, go home. I don't care who you are. You're not staying here. I don't like to get the kicking them out. You try to teach them.

No, you don't want to act like that. Also, why the fuck does my uncle care with some guy on my blocks doing? He's just going, dude, I'm leaving at noon. Get out of here. I don't want to fucking deal with you. Dude, if a seven year old is telling a grown man to go fuck himself, there's no work my uncle's going to do in three minutes to cure that kid. I got you.

Makes sense. Yeah. I think I remember not being yelled at, but I remember like another adult like tried to like, they were going to the beach. My parents weren't going to the beach and he's like, I got him. Come on. It's okay. You can come to get us.

My mom was real sketchy about that shit. We were kids. That's where I get my fear from. You know, you're reading your fear. Don't go in the ocean. Don't get kidnapped. Don't do, you know what I mean? All that stuff.

I got the patties, got the spider sense for that. It's fucking called repressed Catholic guilt. That's what that's called. Think the fuck. You think there's some evil spirit going to come down and strike it. That's how we like it. I love you, Patty. But no, it's fine.

I'm like, no, you're not taking my kids to the beach when I'm not there. Made it real awkward. Oh, real cool. Who's standing there? Who's standing there with our boogie boards on our hands? All right. But I see where she was coming from. What if the cicadas come?

What are you going to do then? I see where she was coming from. You know, because sometimes the parents overstep. Especially, it's probably a minefield now to be honest with you. Having kids now and dealing with that shit. Like if a coach yells at a kid, the parents will be calling up like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that happens a lot. Yeah.

No good. Hey, but you know, you gotta learn. That's why I could never go back and take the mantle up. What? Coaching. One, you don't have any kids. That'd be fucking weird if you just showed up and was like, hey, I'm going to wear this same shirt every day all season and yell at your kids.

Okay. Nobody would want you around. First fundraisers tomorrow night. $100 plate dinner. And listen, you want to play, it's one candy bar per game. You got to give me. You got to pay up. Pay your dudes, kids.

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Now back to the show. That's the thing for you. You could go back and coach. But you have to be a teacher, I think. Yeah. Because I don't know anything about it. We're graduated high school. I don't know anything about the sports that I played, but where I would be able to be in

the know of that. It's teaching all the kids your fucking psychotic fears that you have. Never look a dog in the eye. He's going to steal your soul. He's fucking wacko. Listen, if you have a bad thought, hop on your left foot eight times in a row and it'll cancel it out. I didn't call your mom and tell you you love her.

Bad news is I don't know anything about water polo. Nor can I swim. Now get in there, boys. We're down 12. There's two minutes left, I think. Somebody say a prayer. What do you guys think we should do? Who here knows the rosary?

Showing up to the game on the wrong days. I thought it was Tuesday. Fuck! I thought we were doing a Patreon game. God damn. Home run of a question. Home run. Home run.

Home run. That's what it's all about. That's what it's all about. This one, we've never, we've talked a lot about the trash can, trash bags, that whole nine yards. We've never thought about this. Did your family take the trash, this is from Scott, I apologize. Did your family take the trash bag out of the can and leave it on the floor in order

to fill it max capacity? Oh yeah, of course. So you just let it sit there and then you can continue to stuff more stuff. Of course. Yeah, that's a real good one. If you were cleaning up from dinner and it was full, you know, take it out and get this all, get all this shit out of there and then take the trash out. Yeah.

This seems more of like, I don't feel like taking it out so I'm just going to place it next to here. Is that something? I've done that. I've done that. Did you hear that? Fully. I did it with my phone.

God damn it, you're going to ruin the episode. Yeah, I've won for six million. You two fucking chirping back and forth. Yeah, we have to communicate. He's the producer of the show. Hand signals. How do you guys feel about the extra empty bag in the bottom of the trash can? Love it.

That's trash. No, it's fantastic. Yeah, my mom does that. That's like janitor stuff. Yeah. That's what, yeah. That's great. I know your mom worked at the airport.

Yeah, that's genius. That's really good. Yeah, big fan of that. You don't like it? No, I love it. Every time I remember to do it, I'm like, yo, shout out past me. Yeah. How'd you feel about this growing up?

Stumble across somebody's house who had a trash compactor. Yeah, my aunts got one. They never worked. Oh, no, my aunts always has one. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Compress it down and then where's the bag go? What do you mean?

Does the bag come up with it? Is it in a bag? Yeah, there's like a special bag. You can't just use like a fucking hefty bag. Oh. You got a compactor bag. So like it goes around the thing and stays there and then it just pushes the trash down. And then when you're done, you just take a trash bag.

I never trusted them. Really? You're gonna steal your wallet? What do you mean you never trusted them? Oh, never thought they'd work. But they were cool for a second when you saw them. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. That is somebody had the water thing. The thing attached to the faucet. The filter. The big egg looking thing. Yeah. By moan or whatever. Whatever.

That thing. Yeah. I didn't really trust that though. I was like, this thing is dirty. Now I get to not trust in it. There was always like pasta sauce on it or something. It was never like a straight shooter. Yeah.

Nobody was changing the fucking filters on those things either. No. No. And I think the only people, we never had it. More black mold please. It was also one of those things where I'm like, why don't you trust the water? What's going on around here? That you don't trust the sink.

You know what I mean? Like, I don't trust this thing. It was always in wonky houses. No, none of like my good friends had one. It was always like you go over some kid's house. It was like, you know, good at skateboarding or something. His dad was gone for a while. Yeah.

And they smelled like toothpaste. Yeah. It was weird. What the fuck is going on here? Yeah. I'll take a Gatorade buddy. Yeah. What do you got in a can?

You got something hermetically sealed. What's the draft situation here? That's a great one. This one, this is just funny. This is from Jay, our boy Jay from Rhode Island. The kid that was his... Love you buddy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's on Twitter a bunch. Love him. He had the fantastic question about smoking cigs or taking the cigs out of the trash. It just says you ever wear a G-unit style life beater or a shirt. Do you know the G-unit? Do you know them? This might be too deep of a cut. Are you talking about just like a salty?

No. It's specifically the wife beater. I'll pull one up. I had a feeling you weren't going to get it. It's one of these. These are a bad look. They're like kind of like European cut. Like those wife beaters with the big...

Like DMX? Yeah. Like G-unit wife beater. No. It's cut like a bulletproof vest. Yes. Yes. It's very like tactical.

You say... You're going to have some pecs to pull down. Oh, yeah. It's like a sports bra on top. Yeah. Those are... It's typically not great guys wearing those. I had a couple of buddies try to wear them in like college when they dropped.

And you're like, dude, you do not feel that thing out. No. Those things are scary. Yeah. I don't like that at all. Wife beaters all around. I never do. Never did.

Once for like... No. And I looked like a sausage. Yeah. I tried to go. I tried to do it. Can't do it. Um...

All right. Let's see here. This is from TJ. Have you ever shown up to work in a walking boot or on crutches? The walking boots are big now. Remember we saw the fucking... I feel like... I feel like every week I see at least one attractive girl wearing a boot.

I know that sounds weird. I agree. Yeah, I know. It's always a young pretty girl wearing a walking boot. Yeah. We saw them in Austin. Remember there was a fucking... It was like the Mutants of Table 9.

It was a bachelorette party. And there was like one girl with a cane, another girl in a walking boot. The one girl was in a sling. You're like, what? They're like, hey, are any of you named Tim? And you're like, get out of here. That was in Austin? Yeah.

I don't remember that. Okay. I was there for that. Yeah. We also saw the chicken hoosing because they got the scooter now with the boot. That's a tough look where the knee scooter. Yeah. Yeah.

Except that one chick at the Cowboys game was cocking down the... Oh, yeah. She was riding like it was the fucking Pinewood Derby. That broad was cocking. Yeah. And it comes to me if it is. Yeah. That thing was, yeah, she was really going.

It was like Louis Hamilton. She was giggling too. You could tell she was like, this has sucked until right now. That means you got good insurance though. That makes it seem so much... I like looking. I'm like, oh my God, are you okay? They're like, yeah, I rolled my ankle drunk or whatever.

You know what I mean? It makes it seem way more permanent or like way more serious than, you know, I, you know, tore a ligament in my ankle or whatever. Yeah. But the boots... I would just never... The boots look trashy. And I get to go, yeah, you don't need crutches anymore.

And I think crutches actually end up causing... There's a thing where like crutches cause more issues or something. And could never do crutches. Doesn't surprise. It's like riding the bike with no hands. Riding the tent with no hands. I could never do it. I could never walk on crutches.

I always thought it was cool. People were cool that could walk on crutches. You always wanted something back and you were like... I would like almost fall over. I would like be up below and like almost fall back. I cannot even start to wrap my head around that at all. What didn't you... I would put them both down and I would go up and my feet would be off the ground.

Yeah. That's the point. No, it's supposed to be... You're supposed to be one. No, you don't need... I didn't know how to use them. I never learned how to use crutches, all right? The fact that you did this...

Oh my God. Cross country skiing. Yeah. You're going one at a time. That's how I... I could never get it. Yeah. Well...

Yeah, you are something else. But I think the boots... The boots are just sloppy. I'd rather see you on crutches because I go... Whenever I see one of them, I assume you got drunk at a bar and fell over. That's what I assume when I see a check wearing those. Yeah, but it's even to anybody. But they're like big and you're like...

I never see dudes wearing them. Really? Yeah. Get out more. Hit the saunas or something. Check out the steam rooms. See what the boys are up to. I don't hate it.

All right. This one's from Ruben Musack. I never had a question read. This is... I don't know if we've ever talked about this. Ever gone to an open house just so you could walk through your neighbor's house? No. We've talked about just going to open houses with no attention.

I'm buying. Sure. But your neighbor's house is... That's another level. That's very interesting. I never thought of that. My mom's big on that. My mom goes to multiple open houses in our neighborhood just to see how the people lived

or what the place looks like. Yeah. She loves that stuff. I don't know. No. They had the bedroom downstairs. I feel like buying... And you'll hear about it for like two weeks.

Really? I went over to the Johnson's. Yeah. You'll never guess what they did. Yeah. I think... I don't know. I think...

Because we rent, obviously, and like most apartments tend to be a little more... I feel like apartments are a little more sterile. We were talking about this yesterday. I take... When someone opens a door, I take a peek. Yeah. I want to see what they got. My main thing is like...

I don't know if a house can ever really shake its smell. Like, if a family was living there... Like, if we moved out of my mom's house... Every house has a smell. You know what I mean? Like, your house is always going to... For the next 20 years. If you redid it.

I mean, you have to redo every... We're talking all the carpets. That's in the walls. That's... There's no carpet in our house. Yikes. So... Were you dexter?

What the fuck? It's all hardwood, baby. Alright, that's a little... Whatever. But I'm just saying, it's like... That's in that wood, dude. That's years of foley farts and... You know, just the burnies, the cooking...

Fried green tomatoes, cutlets. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. That's just in there. Irish spaghetti. Where I feel like an apartment's like a little more... Sure. Come and go. It's like an Airbnb.

Yeah. But if you're living in a house for 25... All that for everything... Apartment's smaller, too. When we get in there... You know, they clean it. We blast it out. What?

I like to re-establish my scent in there. When you first move into a place... Oh, yeah. You got to go around... Rubbing your ass on shit like a cat. Absolutely. Yeah. First thing I do, take a dump right in the kitchen.

Burn a cheese stick? Now we're home. Baby, get out of here for a couple hours. I got to make this place ours. Yeah. Mark our car. That's always... I always worried about that of like...

A house I buy would have to pass the smit like... Oh, of course. Smells important. Yeah. Of course. You're not going to... It's my ploy to get you to shower more. Smell is very important.

You're not buying... You're not fucking paying a mortgage every month. The place smells like soup. I know. I know. I'm just saying. But that's what I'm saying. You walk into your dream house and you're like...

Ooh, just got a tinge of hoarder in it or something. Yeah. A little bit of... This is real gulashi. Yeah. Oh, yeah. No. That's what I'm saying.

Real cabbage vibe. Nah. And it's just not even like... You know, take like any of my boys... Like any of my friends' houses growing up. They had a distinct smell. Oh, just not bad. Of course.

No, yes. No. What I'm saying, if I walked into... Good. Usually they were... You knew you were walking into the O'Brien's. Yeah, but that's conditioned. You know what I'm saying?

Like... Sure. You're conditioned to go, Oh, I'm here to have a good time. It's friends. It's family. It's a good thing. Mm-hmm.

Right? But I'm just saying, like if I walked into... I had that with my boy, Paul, his mom kept a tight house and it was always remodeled and light and airy and good light, fresh.

And I don't know... I've always wanted to ask him, would she use some kind of detergent where like they all smelled like that? And they were like, you know, they were very attractive family, young family. They were very cool.

So I used to love that. But walking in... Any time I ever smelled that, it instantly takes me there. Yeah. You're a weird guy, you know? What the fuck? I never heard someone go,

I just love the way that... We're in the middle of sharing here. I love how that family smelled. It just... It was a glimpse into, like, how your brain works for me. It's exactly what you're talking about. Like when you walk into a house,

you recognize the smell. That's all. I was watching them shower or anything like that. No, never. No, I'm just saying... There was a good vibe in there. That's all I'm saying.

And I'm not saying it in a bad way. I'm just saying... You connect... Things? Things to your past, specifically. Sure. Of that, like... I understand what you're saying.

Like, when I walk into the Stutsky's place, I'm like, this is the Stutsky's house. We're gonna have fucking autos, pizza, and a couple of pops, and, you know, whatever. That's great. I have that feeling as well. But I'm just saying to, like...

I would... I don't know. Just see you in the moment of, like... You did reminisce about getting yelled at by someone else's dad and be like, yeah, that's how it was back then. It was different. Gave me PTSD in the same breath.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're a little cuckoo banana. Well, my nostalgia is triggered by my sense of smell. Yeah, and then what I'm trying to say is you're very nostalgic. Yeah, nostalgic. That's what I'm saying.

Yeah, that was... That was the main thing of, like... I liked the way it was. And then sometimes you go like... I just... Regular joke and walk down the street. I really like how the Thompson smelled back there.

That's what, like... Even that's nostalgic for you, is what I'm trying to say. I've never been like, oh, the Stutsky's... Love them! You know what I mean? I don't know if it was tied or what. That's what I'm saying.

Like, I've been like... Oh, I love the times I've had. They're like a crisp linen smell. That's what I'm saying. I've loved the times I've had. The laughs I've had. I enjoyed that, too. You go to the detergent smell

of the family. No human interaction. Just... I really like the lemon-scent pledge she chose. Ooh, love the lemon-scent pledge. Love those commercials back there. My mom was... Oh, I love cleaning product commercials,

especially when you're home and you're sick. Uh-huh. Ooh. My mommy used to use pine saw. Loved it. Every... In the 80s and everybody used pine saw. All right, sorry.

Yeah. Okay. Not the Riley's. Not the Riley's. All right, let's see here. Let's do a couple more. And... Let's see.

Ba-ba-ba-ba. We've talked about this, I think, but this is their first question. Probably talked about it a long time ago. Do you or anyone you know have the back seat or seats of an old car in the floor of your garage as furniture to chill on? We had the back of my stepdad suburban.

And I thought it was... Just the seat that you took out. Yeah. But you could put it back in. Of course. Yeah. And I just so wanted it in my room. So bad.

Oh. To be like, everybody come on, Kippy's got car seats. It was... It reminded me of the Seinfeld. You're sitting there with the seatbelt on. I'm in a booster seat. It reminded me of fucking Seinfeld

because he had the back of the... Cramer. Yeah, Cramer had the back of, like, the Deville or whatever. Yeah. Never got a full look at Cramer's apartment. No. Pretty sweet, though.

Yeah. You see, they recently came out and said, like, they did, like, the schematics of Jerry's and it could never exist. Yeah, it wouldn't work. Because it would be in the... Like, the kitchen would be in the hallway

or something. Yeah. Like, it never... It's pretty devastating. I'm never going to get over it. Jerry! Jerry, I love you. Uh...

Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-da. Thought that would go a little further. I just don't have to get cleaned up. Jesus. That's got sidetracked by sidetracked. Yeah. Right now! All right, well, I have to pull one more.

I mean, we've ran through like 20 fucking questions. We're back. One sec. We're gonna have to edit this out. We've got all this out. Let's just do one more and we'll wrap it up. Uh... Ba-ba-ba...

All right. Let's do one more and wrap it up. Yeah, hold on. Let me get it first. I was just doing it for a clean take. All right. Let's do one more and wrap it up. All right.

Uh... All right. This one's from Alan Shields. Uh... I have not had one read yet. This is boncos. Have you ever... Have you ever had a family birthday party

in a mall food court? This would include decorating the table and possibly bringing a cake. Singing of happy birthday is included in this celebration. Oh, my God. That's... Sad.

Oh, yeah. What are you getting, too? I would give... What are you getting? Chick-fil-A, lo mein, and a burrito. That's pretty good, then. I'll give you that. Everybody gets...

That's a la carte. That's not a bad idea. Can you set that up, though? With the mall? Everybody has to be standing in line. Someone has to be watching the table. Yeah, I wonder if you could set that up with the mall. That's actually not a bad idea,

but that's pretty sad. You can't set that up, dude. You can't... The mall food court is lawless. That's international waters. No one's overseeing that. I would give them everything I got at the mall if I walked by and saw that.

Here you go. Yeah, that's tough. Yeah. That's a bad look. But... Egg roll with a candle in it? The thing that is... The thing that's the worst...

Sipping on an orange julius? That's a tough look. That's a tough look. Nobody cleans those tables, either. Oh, man. I'd just smell the Oxford Valley mall. I'd get some boroughs for sure, which, by the way, ain't a bad slice.

You can't have a birthday party where the chairs are bolted down. It's true. Where's your mall? Yeah, I didn't get that. That's like fucking... That's like cellblock date. Who do you go to, Rikers?

Chairs aren't bolted down. Um... I was just there. Uh... The thing that makes it the worst is, um... The decorating. If everybody was like, yo, I think it'll be fun and kitschy

if we all go get our own thing and we sit there and have fun. Like as a teenager, you'd be like, oh, let's all go do this. This'll be fun and kitschy, whatever. Why the food court? Maybe because there's like an arcade. You hit the arcade, laser tag, go see a movie.

You would do that in the arcade. There would be a Dave and Buster's in there. Yeah, or like something of like... With the proper private room to conduct a birthday party. Evenly, a lot of them would have like the private room of like for the birthday party. I feel like the kid would know that too. Like, oh, this sucks.

Yeah, he knows it. He's sitting next to a fucking business, man. Eating fucking fried rice. He's watching a kid walk out of a Toys R Us with better gifts. Yeah, exactly. Look at all the families that love their kids. What'd you give for your birthday?

20 minutes in the massage chair. Yeah. I get to walk around Brookstone for a couple of minutes. Smell the remote control cars. I got that raccoon tail in the bag of chips. All right. Let's wrap it up.

Gang, listen, we love you. Thank you for all the love, all the support. Kippy, what do you got for him? Got some tickies coming up. You got Hartford. You got Albany. Hartford, Albany, Syracuse. Grab some fucking merch.

I'm at Kevin Ryan Comedy and all social media. Also follow the AYG pages at RU Garbage on Twitter and Instagram. We love you. We'll see you next week. Peace.