Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - White Trash Air Conditioner w/ Kippy & Foley

Episode Date: July 22, 2021

Kippy and Foley are back with a family ep! The boys talk trashy air conditioners, getting attacked by lizards, & trashy sports jerseys. Thanks for listening. Love youse guys.  Live Shows: https://linktr.ee/AYGLiveShows PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage https://www.Manscaped.com PROMO CODE: GARBAGE https://www.Stamps.com PROMO CODE: GARBAGE https://www.MVMT.com/GARBAGE  Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/foleygrams/   Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

Hang on a second there gang before we get the show started to keep it moving. 2021 tour is in full swing as you know Yeah, we have some additions. Sure. We have some announcements kippy straighten them out guys We're coming to Providence, Rhode Island August 11th We're gonna be in Boston, Massachusetts August 12th. Shalling kid be in New Brunswick, New Jersey August 25th, Jersey Stress Factory, we're gonna be in Timonium, Maryland outside Baltimore at Magoobies on August 26th Then the big thing moon tower comedy We're gonna be there at the fest at the fest couple of festy boys That's gonna be at the end of September on September 23rd 24 25th. Also another big announcement

We're gonna be at Skankfest That's gonna be November 5th 6 7th plus we're gonna be adding more dates. It's gonna be boncos get some tickies It's gonna be a good time. Can't wait to see it air welcome to another exciting edition of are you? Garbage the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or Absolute trash now here are your hosts Kevin Ryan and H Foley Hey Everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast. This is our you garbage Mm-hmm. It's a little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find a figure to be classy. Yeah, or if they're just a

Big ol piece of trash take two. I'm your hostage fully coming at you on a beautiful day We're down here at Anthony's basement a little concerning. What's up coming downstairs? I saw in the kitchen spoons There's a spoon thinking ice cream party or something. What are you thinking? I don't think so, okay? I was a bent spoon a bent but it'd been really hard ice cream No, it said they were they were a teaspoon they're measuring spoons She's actually making us some nice tray of lemon squares, which I thought was nice. That's you ever have her cooking I don't know. I mean, she's she cooked me up a couple of hot doses before Her Narcan and cream is fantastic folks my co-host is coming at you from across the table

That means this is a family episode. We're circling the wagon like it's been a while It's been a while couple of epi couple of epi's we got some some questions to get to just a fam on this one This gentleman is the ceo CFO ceo of I'm everything are you garbage? He is a he's an international businessman really he has a multitude of offshore accounts with different European banking institutions, which a bank. Do ya couple Kevin James Ryan everybody. Hey gang happy to be here Thanks for tuning in as always. Please make sure you rate review subscribe on itunes Although that's going out the window. No one cares about that. I mean, which one I toon shmai toon. Yeah, it's whatever I appreciate all the reviews. They're switching it up. That's Steve Jobs. Keep showing your toes and then YouTube comm

You can get a full video HD video there. And as you know, those numbers are true to roof true The roof not be it and then but what about I mean, what about this patreon that? I Don't know if you can hear the fucking Viking stove. We got up here because this thing's fucking cooking daddy. Oh Thank you so much for the fucking support on patreon We fucking love every single one if you've ever watched the show listen to the show. We did the show send it to a friend bought a shirt Anything a deck of cards the fucking patreon subscribed on YouTube. We fucking love everybody. Thank you. Please. No We're blowing the money as fast as we get it and that's a promise we make to you. Yes, right? Yeah

Oh, yeah That's my niece birthday party. Yeah, you laid a couple fuzzles all caked up over. Yeah, how much you drop And how old is this this young lady? Ah? Turn nine turn nine. Yeah Yeah, yeah, let me guess you probably get guy like you. Let me now listen. I had already bought her here. We go Guy hold on A couple months a couple weeks ago when I was home got her some dollies and stuff like that Okay, her parents and now doesn't make don't not do that. But you know, of course, I gotta show

Sure, sure. There's family there. Sure. Let me think ultimate face throw to because they did a presentation of presents She sat there in a little chair opening them up. Uncle Hanks was last. I pretend like I don't know what's going on It was behind of the tree The guy like you guys currently wearing a sleep shirt from Ralph Lauren fucking saleswoman at DXL, man Fucking piss me off Guy like you nine-year-old niece You know, you got a couple of bucks now. You're doing all right. We got to say pretty successful podcast

You know, I know what you're making a guy like you probably gave 400 400 You didn't give her 400 400 She's a little fucking nine. She's a little princess Listen, you can be a little princess for 200 Give me your address. I'll send to the other two that you fucking shorted her Hey, this is her Uncle Kippy

Gang have a nice quick shout out to our producer extraordinary. I forgot we didn't even bring in these I didn't I didn't that's why I'm your boy And I'm a professional. He's the magic man. He makes us all look good. We love them You love them give it up for T-Bone McMuffin That Toby McMullin everybody. What's up, dude? Hey pal. Hey there T-Bone. Yeah about two more minutes of no intro for me The comments section were been going nuts. They're fighting. They ain't T-Bone. It's drama T-Bone's dead, man Gang this is a family episode. Thank you so much for tuning in with this

Before we get to the questions. I hate you got something. I got a couple of things. I wanted to true by you You can't have an advance You get paid from the rest of us do can I get the 200 for my niche now is your husband well crisp hundies though Crisp yeah fresh kind of a grocery store. If you're going if you're giving cash It's got to be hundies unless you're like James. I get it. Whatever but yeah stack of 20s ain't bad Otherwise they smell like a fucking pizza place or something. You know the delivery boy had them before you get out of here Hey, you never get money back. You're like what the fuck a parmesan on it. You fuck you doing with this Hit the brick Chris monies. I picked you as a Chili's gift card kind of guy now. Come on. Why don't go hanky? You kidding me?

I'm fucking all-star class all the way. Whatever you need small stuff. I'm good big stuff. I disappear I'm aware. I haven't gotten I'm yet to get a birthday present from you out then. Where was your birthday? August Wow happy birthday. I mean will you miss ten of them? He's starting now Couple of scratchers A friend of mine was discussing a trip that they have coming up and They were they were saying that one thing they really want to do is they want to go see some It was some kind of chocolate factory or something like that. And my question is friend of yours

It's going to a chocolate factory. Oh, he's gonna get stuck in a pipe like a gust of blue. I Got to go cut them out That's that fucking chocolate River when I was a kid That was your underwear after after gym class I Got the big man's number today. Let's go When we were staying in the hotel together, I had done some business in the bathroom I had to make sure you're not a lot. That's why we don't that's why we don't stay together Well, I had to make sure I flushed multiple times because I had fucking demon claw marks at the bottom

I've seen it's like drag it in back to hell. It's like a goddamn Goddamn extra says You gotta have a priest read your shit last night Man, no read it cross to start turning upside down Gets cold it's all the flies in Do you think it's trashy probably Welcome back ladies and gentlemen Do you think this is something? Yeah, okay. Do you think it's trashy to go to the factory?

Any fact like, you know, like what we got a tour of the factory. Are you a factory tour? Well, I told you Way back in the early days of the pod my mom took us to the sock factory. That was a thing I remember to get she was picking up money. I don't know what was happen I just remember being like we were in the bad part of town, too We're like fucking it was like yeah, but it wasn't for a tour. It was to buy socks for fucking I think it might have been a combination of both what it was in like Bristol or Pendel or by one of those fucking levitate. It was someone now

Wrong side of the tracks I Remember not wanting to get out. I remember that much not wanting to get out of the car They meant you're in love with the place. Can I live here? I just never be like fuck this place I'm talking like if you go to the Guinness factory. I did the Guinness the Guinness is whatever the Guinness I I've told you this. I think I'm sure I have at some point I went to the Guinness factory and you go to like the fucking 90 minute ordeal. These are barley. This is hops We're whatever I get it which stinks, but they do have like the highest the Guinness factory has like the highest

Bar it's the highest the tallest bar in Ireland or something. It's they have like it's big 360 degree Last view of a it's like at the big of the top of the building like oh no, we're gonna reach up and get your beer My god, you are so bad. What do you mean the bar itself is tall? That's what I'm saying. How do you are you fucking with me? No, what do you mean? You have to be fucking with me. You said you're the tallest bar. Yeah, the bar so is like barbers chairs You pump them up and it really no the bar is on the roof. It's like the highest bar. Oh That's not the tallest bar. Well, I mean the tall story be like you're leaving up

No of the tens of thousands of people are listening that you have to be the only one that interpreted that Did you think that at first? Yes. Oh my god. I think I meant to say tallest building with a bar I think I said tallest building with a bar you didn't you said tallest bar either way. It stinks. Whatever Yeah, no, so I got up there and I'm like I lost my ticket and I was like like on the fucking walk And you redeem it for a free for a free beer and they were like I was like, I didn't had I was like I get two beers like you can't buy them here. I'm like what the fuck I'm like, I just watch how was fucking made for 90 minutes like a jerk off. I can't get a fucking frosty pint Let's go fuck. Let's go Timmy. Yeah, and then I so I just had left and had to go buy again us elsewhere

It's they it stinks I only want to go for them to have a beer at the highest point in Dublin at a bar or whatever like that was the only thing Plus I was alone. I had a kill time during the day. You can only fucking you can only roll smallest empanadas I don't get it I mean, if you don't get it out if you don't get your joke, how am I supposed to get it? It was a play on the world's tallest. Yeah, I got I mean I get to play. I don't understand that why empanadas We're I mean we were in in Mexico. What are you? Who doesn't love an empanada?

I don't think they're at the bar in Ireland. I don't think the Guinness factory serve an empanada. Could be. Oh I think it's trashy. Yeah, I do. I agree Okay, but what if you go to like the McLaren factory? That's a little dead. That's that's a little different even still If I worked there, I wouldn't want a bunch of fucking bozo listen You would never work there, but sure at the Guinness factory. We're gonna start tours in here. I don't know what you're talking about Top tier patrons get to come in and fucking talk on the mic for a couple of minutes kind of page walking around Okay, I got a fucking wax debone over there He's bombing

Yeah, it's trashy I wouldn't I wouldn't do it Factories lane go into the factory Yeah, give a fuck. I think I guess like if you went to like Hirsch the Hershey factory maybe that makes yeah I mean, I'm not saying I've been in it, but I'm saying I underst I could understand you ever been to the Coca-Cola factory No, been to the cocaine factory. I used to work in a chocolate factory. Yeah, but that was afterwards It was J. We're producing chocolate. We're there. I thought you were skimming the place. Oh, wait. Oh, what the fuck? Jesus Christ, we're gonna have to beat that you and your dirt bag. Oh, man We got it. We're gonna literally have to cut that. Sorry, dude. The Coca-Cola factory is insane

They have all the different types of coke from all around the world. So they taste different for each Yeah, yeah, Russia tastes like rocks and then you know America. It's extra sweet or whatever this jelly bean get out of here Fucking different coax. Come on, man It's crazy go to a factory. Yeah, no one say we're over agree How are you? I thought he was just working in that rock bit Working on his Russian rock bit. I'm gonna I'm gonna find a way to shovel this into that Had a bit of bad head on the train look at across look across at a guy in a bootleg paid in full shirt That's good

Yeah, I wouldn't do it. Is this you I think you're talking about this. No, I'm not No, I don't I don't go to factories. I wouldn't go to the fact What if it was like? Are you a museum guy? Yeah, yeah, I like a nice museum nice nice painting A nice paint. I like a nice painting painting painting painting or statue. I like a nice statue or a triptych All right for you art history majors out there. Sure. You know, I like stained glass Like a bust so much as the next guy like a bus. I can tell I've broken out of that fucking polo sleepwear shirt

I Don't like to planetariums though. They're kind of fucking whack. You don't really see anything Like the thing that they got over the next in a natural hitching museum on the west side you walk in It's just like pictures of shit. Hey, what are we doing? Yeah, I don't know You can't get a fucking asteroid in here. No, no that's asteroid. They have a couple, but they don't have enough And they have fragments of asteroids different worlds This guy came in this guy called goes home for the weekend comes back all goofballs. The fuck are they feeding you down there? Patty, what are you doing? Mostly pain. Yes guys all fucking hopped up

All right, let's get it. Do you want to get it some questions? Do you have any more? in factory Convows you want to talk about wanted to get your opinion. I All right, this one is this is you know, I like to start off What a what a good one. This is what we call a best home run. This is from Daniel Hey guys, I'm new here. Love your stuff. Have you ever made us? Have you ever made yourself a sandwich to eat while you were making yourself a better sandwich 100%? That is a fucking

Brilliant observation pro move they make the half you make like a half I typically go the heel so it's got a little bit of dense. I love the yeah, that's one big heel guy you a heel guy No, oh Nuts that's your youth as you get older. You appreciate you appreciate the end. You do. Yeah, it's like everyone. You're a strong beer See IPA of bread Remember when you were a kid I remember a couple of times and she my mom was pretty good But I remember like once or twice You know, she forgot to run to the store or something like that. I wasn't aware of it

I get to the lunch table. You give me a heads up on the way to the bus We can work something out you can get out in front of it. I can make you make fun of yourself before you get there Well, that's fucking fact guy 101. Yeah, dude set me up fucking pulled out two of them not one But two was like I was eating a bit of butter and jelly on a hamburger Get out of here. This is ceiling tile sandwich. Yeah, I went home drop ceiling sandwich I went home that day. I was like never let this happen again. This does this doesn't happen again Yeah, she still ate the sandwich sure Grown boy

Needs his calcium. Yeah, I need my rich flour. What else the end? I said, that's what I'll do now if I'm making you know, oh, it depends on what I'm making and It depends, you know, it could be tuna. It could be turkey. It doesn't matter. I know I'm making I'm making a half He sure but I don't fuck we don't but we don't keep bread in the house the bra I don't I try to lay off it because I do enough damage when I'm fucking out of the house You know what I mean? So I don't keep it in the house. She don't eat it like a pigeon in the park Fucking I'm going at it with a raccoon Ever see that would he go by somebody's yard? There's just pieces of bread there for the birds

My stepdad does that he feeds the squirrels all the whole pieces like if like bread like you know If like bread's getting older, they're not gonna finish it when he goes out and throws it in throws it in the backyard Stale bread in those bags, man Yeah I've had to explain that to my friends like what's this bag of bread doing with like This bread's hard as a rock my dude, it's for the squirrels. I'll touch it Yeah, big halfie guy when I do sandwich I'm typically doing rolls because I'm down. I'm either down the shore or I'm you know

I'm at I'm at Moz and she knows I'm coming home. She gets a sixer. I'm a rossos for the kid Get me loves a long I'm a rosso six back in the fridge. Yeah So I don't really do bread that much anymore, but yeah for sure, of course You know what the heels not too bad on a grilled cheese either now cheese in there I tell you you know older you love the heat the heels great. Yeah, and it is fantastic for a fucking for a half John, oh, yeah, right. It's that potato bread real thick fucking nice on the inside little male little mustard a couple pieces of cheese. Yeah, I know what it sandwiches Don't forget the pickle

Beautiful yeah, that's good. Love that. I love doing when you're making sandwiches at home when you know When you spread everything out you got to hate you got everything out. You know what I mean? You leave the male mustard out. You're having a good time to games on bag of chips Real slice of Americana Right there. Are you talking about feeding the squirrels? Where do you fall on bird feeders? I Don't I don't like burr. I'm deathly afraid of birds. So I'm gonna have to I'm gonna have to say no to this real tough guy Yeah They used to dive bomb is that Charlie Bronson over there?

Hey sandwich Steve relax. Oh, yeah I have I gotta I gotta write to defend myself And he's back. All right, let's go It's good I don't know that her bozo was but he's all right. It's guys. It's new guys great. Let's get this guy stunk. Good thing You got him at it. I Just part my hair right Garbage beautiful, but garbage

I don't know. They never last they get a you ever see a fucked up birdhouse It looks on it I got a dub says there's about two of them on your property easily I've been a couple of slum lords over there I remember the first of my buddy had one that fed like it's like sugar water for like hummingbirds or whatever those are nice And I didn't I literally didn't know hummingbirds. I thought they were tropical or whatever I didn't know I never seen one dude and we're sitting at my buddy falls out back in his pool And there's a fucking there's two hummingbirds fucking I

Panic, who does he a Disney princess? They were well He had to feed her with like the sugar water and I didn't know it was like a fucking it was like two feet behind me And he sings he sings come in like fucking 2f 16 Fucking lost I jumped in the water. They're hover control. They're gonna have to dive bomb to get me dude I went under their hover control is fantastic. They're like two drones. Oh, yeah, I know I didn't know that I didn't I didn't know anything about that. I didn't even have them in Pennsylvania. I would have had one of those I love hummingbirds. Yeah, I didn't I do. I literally thought they were in the Amazon or like the rain I didn't know where the fuck they were. I swear to God until fucking we were in high school

Nope Not not fucking with those things Man gang support for all you garbage is brought to you by our good friends over there at Manscaped and when I'm talking about manscaped, what am I talking about talking about the lawnmower or one point? Nope, two point. Nope four point or point. Oh, baby Baby, this thing is fantastic. It purrs like it's got a Rolls Royce engine in it. It's just it feels like quality It's got the light on it trimmed it right up real nice If you're not taking care of your downstairs, you're a bozo, especially with this heat you gotta you gotta you gotta

You gotta weed the beds. Sure They have the best in men's below the waist grooming Champion of the world, baby is manscaped what it comes down to it. You get the shit. It's got a light on it It's waterproof the whole nine yards. I don't know about you guys I mean this time of year the summer you got to be taking care of the business down there I do do it in the shower too because I like goes down the drain and I collect it Yeah, I use it on my face. I'm crazy. I don't give a fuck. I use it right on my face I trim up it gets me down here real nice. It does cut close. It's nice. Ah, do why not? Um, also

I back in the day. I used to use blade and cream like a like a like a wacko Really blade and cream down there you pull out the shaft shimmy it up a little it's dangerous couple of nicks and cuts down there Not too good. Sweeney Todd. Yeah, so check out the lawnmower 4.0. Uh, it's got different lengths so you can customize the trim It you're looking for You get free 20 off you get 20 off and free shipping with the promo code garbage at manscape.com That's 20 off free shipping at manscape.com use the promo code garbage Unlock your confidence and always use the right tools for the job Uh, and that's with a well-designed sleek and optimized trimmer that makes shaving

Shaving time your favorite time in the bathroom. Perfect way to say it. That's some that's a good copy right there Yeah guys, uh manscape.com promo code garbage gang. Are you garbage is brought to you by Movement. Mm-hmm. Let's talk about them. Hop notch. These guys top notch operation man Couple of dreamers couple of college kids couple of dropouts. Yeah thought they could do better in the watch market And they absolutely hit a fantastic home run. They sent us a couple Be beautiful got the watch. We got sunglasses beautiful beautiful products. Yeah, they moved into sunglasses Unbelievable looking fresh. They wanted to make things that were quality that a quality product that looked fancy But it was still under a decent budget sure and they accomplished that to such a degree out of the park

Here's this what you're ready to get your hair blown back on this one hit me you go to movement right now What's that site wide sale stop it telling you right now? How much you think five percent five percent sure that'd be great Keep going 10 keep going 15 nah 20 25 28 what? Oh be pull the plug. Holy cow. These guys are boncos over there Yeah guys and all joe all jokes aside though the watches are beautiful the sunglasses are beautiful

They look cool. They feel cool. They feel like you know, it feels doesn't it feels awesome. No, yeah, it's good I'm excited. I'm sorry. It's high quality. I'm excited. It's high quality stuff I got the glasses you got the watch because you're a watch guy everybody knows i'm a new glasses guy now I'm rocking the shades real cool real cool color real cool lenses My wife got the the blue the to black out the blue lights nice. Yeah, um The premium the premium blue light glasses they probably so if you're looking at the screen and stuff It's good stuff It's a perfect gift for family or friends

Movement is going all out for their eighth birthday And it's their biggest sale of the year take advantage of these price points before they go because they ain't gonna stick around Forever celebrate eight years of movement with 28 off site wide like the big man said So don't miss movements biggest sale of the year go to mvmt.com slash garbage one more time That's 28 off store wide at mvmt.com slash garbage Join a movement stamps.com Stamps.com Why didn't I know earlier about stamps.com because you're a bozo

I am a bozo and i've done a lot of waiting around in the post office Stamps.com has changed all that game. We make the call. We had the cards made We sent the cards out using stamps.com amazing. Yeah, they save Thousands of businesses sure time and money. We're a small business owner You're a small business owner. You need stamps.com. Yeah guys You can mail and ship anytime anywhere right from your computer send letters packages And you pay less a lot less with discounted rates from usps and ups ups too. That's crazy All you need is a computer a printer the internet by the bing by the boom you can do it in your car

You can do it in your rv your house your apartment your barn wherever you live. You can do it It's easy peasy like the big man said we sent out all the cards over thousands of decks of cards We sent it. We were in here printing it out by the bing by the one day we did like 500 I think we did it start to finish in under an hour. It starts cooking that printer It's cooking printer starts spitting them out being bang boom. You're up and you're up and running. It's easy peasy Um, they offer deals that you can't get anywhere else like 40 off usps and up to 66 off ups shipping rates What are we even talking about people boncos and with their switch and save feature? You can quickly compare carriers to find the best rates

Every single time I love that stop going stop wasting time by going to the post office Go to stamps.com instead. There is no risk and with our promo code garbage You'll get a special offer that includes a four week trial plus repostage in a digital scale No long-term commitments or contracts. You can cancel anytime. There's nothing to cancel You just easy peasy if you don't use it. You don't use it. Whatever you use it use it We have it sitting over there when we need it by the bing by the boom plug it in you're up and running It's easy Just go to stamps.com click the microphone at the top of the homepage typing garbage at stamps.com

promo code garbage stamps.com never go to the post office again now back The squirrels always get them. I'm afraid of the squirrel. That's the big thing. I love squirrels. I'm afraid of creatures critters, man No, my wife's like, oh look at the squirrel. This is a new york city. Fucking squirrel These ain't like pet the squirrels. Hmm. It's ain't the country there. I like the squirrels in the city No Cute little squirrels running around central park. Cute little squirrels. Yeah, all right. All right. I only possibly got drugs on them I'm talking about now. I don't fuck. I do not fuck with them

I like I'll go out of my way if one leg is jumping around. I did see that uh, they caught Komodo dragons or creatures hummingbirds are not creatures. I don't fuck with komodo dragons Or those or those lizards that swim in the water That look like mini consillas Get the fuck out of here I don't care where that sandals is. I ain't fucking staying Do you ever see them? They jump in a pool. They'll come at you. What? Oh, yeah I don't even like a Komodo dragon or just a lizard. No Komodo dragon. Where are you going? That's Komodo dragon

I mean, I know Wildwood's bad, but god damn I mean, I know it's not Avalon, but we don't have fucking Komodo dragons. They got sunglasses on The dragons They're bad kids Okay, wait tattoo something. What were you talking? What jumps in the pool with you? Like the monitor lizards or whatever. Yeah. No. Yeah. No, I can't do it. I like the little johns. No What the little salamanders in florida. They're cute little geckos go get in the pool I fuck everyone a valid vacation that way

No fucking way I don't fuck with lizards snakes serpents nothing dude I don't fuck with them. Nope. The other thing I don't like about about hawaii is uh, is the day of centipedes there You know, yeah, no, I saw one of those in columbia had a fuck I'm like lobster claws on it. I'm like, what are we doing here? This isn't safe. Go back inside Cigar in its mouth The fuck out of here Yeah, no, thank you. I don't I don't like animals

Dog domesticated ones. I'll do cats whatever what you love. I love animals not animals like wild animals Like a wild horse. He wouldn't appreciate the beauty of a wild stallion running through the pasture Yeah, I mean, when do you see that? I got better than seeing a fucking kimono dragon Check out yellowstone on paramount tv. It's pretty good. That yeah, whatever. That's fine. A horse isn't gonna fucking You know run up and start nibbling. Don't fuck you up. I used to get scared of her because they kick you When you walk behind them, I don't know if I ever told you I went to this fucking after school thing because my mom So it was like kindergarten was a sock factory. Hey, just

If I was doing third shift It was after preschool was like preschool was only like nine to twelve or whatever Right, there was like a morning shift and an afternoon shift or kindergarten. Whatever the fuck it was And for whatever reason they had like a another place a second location you could go to Not breezy point rainbow academy. I don't know what the fuck it was But they had a horse there and I was like, oh you get to play with the horse, dude And we went up to feed this thing apples and you ever see the foam that fucking forms around a horse's mouth when he's eating Oh

I can still smell I was like this thing's so deep I was like six being like get this thing to fuck away from me. Is it snack time yet? What are we doing here? Fuck I gotta feed this guy my apple Fucking dying over here Yeah, oh dude the fucking folks like buddy get an napkin There's chicks here, man, come on. I'm trying to fucking close over here Ah horses are gross, dude

Fucking clean yourself up Ah man I remember that beat on like doing like the great adventure safari where you drive around that's garbage, too Oh, I did that and the fucking monkey started ripping my windshield off my windshield What the fucking sick man those are rain eggs Those were after marky How people with the double the double Yeah, I got hemmed up in a six flags

Thought I was fucking johnny cool guy Nope Fucking zebra came up started fucking chewing my my stripes and shit man We were at a zoo in dc. It's my whole family How the shit to see watching the dc you go to a zoo we went for lunch I mean you got all the monuments the lighthouse the pentagon you guys are fucking staring at the gorillas Yeah, I do these monkeys were in the thing and they were always looking at the book. He's like, hey, you're gonna finish that

You're crying or sweating or something laughing Uh monkey was swinging around fucking swings right towards the glass takes his dump midair My aunt's like two feet away from it just like they're beautiful Yeah I thought I though at the cape may zoo Down in cape may county Like why would it stick to zoo down there for the show we went to see the lions and we have a picture I got to get I got to get my hands on the fucking picture. It's at my ampaddy's house

It's with some early 90 probably like 92 and it's me and all my cousins my brother and we look Like fucking every different version of joe dirt. I mean dude, there's like you I'm talking the high Timeline joe dirt dude, it is a tough look and we're banged there's a lion sleep We were banging on the fucking can he pissed he woke up till two walks back and forth like oh look at him Comes over dude and a fire hose a fucking yellow stinky lion pee all over us All over I do right behind my hand. I was like, are you fucking getting me, dude? I keep your head on I keep my head on a fucking swivel around live animals

Man But on the safari they come they stick their faces in the window And when you're a little kid, you don't realize if you're gonna have like You know, that's just like slobbering shit all over them. Yeah I'm not gonna be able to eat for the rest of the day That's tough Papa certs will you Yo cam joe joe cam will fucking relax. Yeah, I don't that's not for me

None of that's for me Um great question Not the sandwiches I imagine you're a birdhouse family though, right you a birdhouse family no fucking way no That's shit all over your lawn What? Yeah, we don't we don't we don't we're not condors. What do you mean? It's fucking bird shit. I'm not a pterodactyl You're not getting fined by the homeowners association

I know I don't we we never attracted animals might I mean now the squirrels, but like we don't really bring them in Keep them at a distance over at the neighbors. You know what I mean? Hmm, you don't need the deer there's a lot of deer now Yeah, deer like just in the backyard Though well if you're like sitting in a chair in the backyard, they'll come up like fucking 20 feet away from you I think deer are beautiful But yeah, the limes disease I'm gonna go near them. I don't like it. I mean, you're not making out with them. Are you there ticks everywhere? Oh, you're not get that shit. I'm not gonna jump at you

The ticks do no they don't not that deer I mean how close do you get to the deer that a ticks gonna jump back doesn't matter that they're everywhere People aren't getting limes disease by fucking hanging out with deer. The ticks are all over the place They get you I don't like that. Yeah, so it has nothing to do with getting close to the deer Your initial thing was I don't get close to the deer because I don't want limes disease. I guess that makes sense Hmm. Hey, they turned me around I literally don't know what side either one of us are on at this point Um, all right, this one's from joshua. Do you jiggle the coin the coins or keys in your front pockets? Oh, yeah

That's a big love it big move I was right when you got a car you had to flex that sure got my key do the flip Yeah, oh used to do the flip with the laminin too the lanyard nothing. Yeah, dude If you know if you had like a fucking some sort of college lanyard when you were in high school. Yeah Bike lacrosse fucking twirling that around keys around the neck backwards was a big Was it ever you couldn't do it forward that was like a device of a one strap two strap on a school bag You had to go backwards cool guys went backwards. Wait, sit it. Wait. What's one strap two strap you go one strap cool No, what two it was it changed when it's it was one strap

It was all through the 90s. No book bag was cool in the 90s. Just have your books under here What? Yeah, they were showing you grease. What are you talking about always got his books in a belt What? Like dobby gillis walking around That's a deep gut I mean Would you would you walk like this with a minion fucking you got pencil sticking out? I would have my like my my wrestling bag or whatever bag

You know for like, you know change of clothes sports stuff. I never carried any fucking books around really fucking academic like you Yeah, just it was always cool to have like one or two books just in your thing. We see we see how far cool got you Yeah, I'm gonna be cool Real cool. It's like wearing pajamas shirts right now. I never got a jansport or any of that stuff. We had a jansport Yeah, never jansport kid um But it was it was in elementary school It was one that was cool one was cool the 90s one was cool that in high school

You did two you did one you were a dork two became cool I feel like your generation is when they started really packing those fucking School bags out and like they would like get like there were so many books. I'm some girl walking out like so many Yeah, where the straps are ripping and stuff. Yeah, that's not. I mean, that's that's not that's the exception to the rule Yeah, that's not that average guys walking around with every textbook they have and I can never do that shit I hate carrying stuff around like that. I keep it loose. What was your locker situation like? I imagine foley was just like a bad lawyer. It's just papers spilling out. It's a mini fridge Ha ha ha ha ha

Open it up fog comes out. We had dry ice in here Anybody want any sneakers or anything I keep it cool hot towel for anyone Lemon water um Our school had uh, you had one you had your locker and then above your locker You had a little square one little john that had a little and a little dead man switch Inside that's the second time you said dead man switch. You said today. I know about before. Yeah, I said your toilet had one We made the joke that it was an ejector scene Well, you got a little switch there to pop open the other one

It's where you put a couple of things and yes, it was usually gross, but it was always great when you cleaned out your locker That or your desk when you were a little kid and you really cleaned out your desk made everything real nice Stole a couple of pencils from somewhere never get your hands in the fucking in the what's it called room? Supply supply room. Yeah. Oh man a supply room at an elementary school a good night Strawberry erasers for everybody. Oh, man. No, you never did that No I mean, I don't think they had they had like a I mean who wanted to steal pencils Do you have nice fresh pencils? It's just knocking over the cafeteria for the cash register

I'm like you guys do the petty crimes. I'm going for the cash go for the strongbox. Yeah, what the fuck are we doing here? Go for the school store something Something worth doing the time I'm not going to serve a nickel for a couple of fucking weeble wobbles my senior year in high school Uh, we we had this kid on our wrestling team real tough kid real crazy kid We were we were wrestling this school. It was a saturday afternoon We were we were beating them like a million to nothing. This kid's in the fucking school store cleaning out their Yeah, we got caught robbing the school store. That always happens. I was always the kid that kid was always on the wrong side of the track

Yeah, school store was great though Love all I hate it learning. All right, but I loved all that stuff I loved like all the I mean, I like learning some things. I was a terrible student I guess it's a better way to put it But I loved like new books and new pencils and new pens and Erasers and like all that kind of stuff the stuff was great trapper keepers Very cool. Well, all that stuff smelled. I just liked the way everything smelled. Did you chew your pencils? Oh, yeah chewed my pencils. I used to take my pens apart like they were like they were nuclear bombs and like put it back together

Yeah, fucking good try to do a blindfolded. Mm-hmm. You learn something new every day. There you go trapper keeper guy What I never guessed really you they were huge Yeah, 80s five star when five star came through that was it Yeah, you had to have five star otherwise you hit the fucking yeah the trapper keepers They weren't assembled well, but I had one with the Optimus Prime on the cover Sick last for like two weeks and they got all broken up They don't make them like they used to they don't make them make they used to kippy Truer words

Were never spoken. I really would have picked you for a better student to be honest with you moving on Really? I was good at English No, you're not you just said go to museums to see paintings. I just say milk literature. I was good with literature Like poems and stuff. I like that stuff you know It's good junior year mr. Blanche great teacher great teacher, but y'all blanche you are in that

All right moving on This is from Jacob ever tape over the name on a jersey when the player gets traded and sharpie in the name of the next Bozo no you see that guy at like flyers games and shit How about the guys burning their jerseys somebody fucks up in a game or leaves the city Get out of here with that shit. Yeah, that's bozo stuff. Imagine your kid watching you in your backyard burn a fucking You know tom brady jersey or something like that. Come on man. Got support. You paid a hundred bucks for it Gotta support the team. It's a different city

Gotta support the team. What are you gonna do at a certain point? You just gotta come on. What are we doing? Yeah, no, I mean, it's definitely never see your dad burn a jersey No, yeah, exactly But tough luck. Yeah, uh, the next one is everybody a sports jersey that was blank on the back to save a couple of bucks That's a dead giveaway that you're hemmed up You're hanging out at a fucking sporting event with a blank jersey on I like that more I like that more to be honest with you because if you're a grown man Now you're a little kid you get whatever you want

But if you're a grown man and you got like a younger guy's name on the back of your jersey stood that I mean, I'm not I don't have another man's Name on my back. It's so what about a man? It's just you know, you're wearing another player's thing I think the you know another player. So in your reality, you are also a player You know what I mean fully all goes the game suited up ready for a week of fifth. Yeah Your helmet on your shoulder pads Yeah No, I think it's okay to have just a regular jersey especially a baseball one

But if I did I'd have Bryce Harper Um This one's just boncos. This is for mario first time asking ever been shot or shot out by mistake While hunting with your family I mean, you know, if you're fucking uncles taking shots at you thinking you're a fucking moose or something That's a bad look on all accounts That's so true. Yeah, we weren't hunters either now petrified. Yeah Uh, this is from Preston, uh, are you garbage if you only air conditioned certain parts of the house? Yes

you are So I tell the foliage operator sure you got most of the 1980s. It depends how hot it is as well And kind of what equipment you're working with Okay, you know what I mean. Yeah at our place in if it's if it's window units That's understand you keep that fucking door closed. You know, you don't fucking air conditioned the hallway You're not a fucking jerk off. Keep that door closed. Yeah, we used to we had one window unit Uh at the second house that we lived in when I lived in Wilkesbury And I remember one summer it was fucking boiling and like

We all slept downstairs in the living room And my mom put blankets over the like the the walkway or the wall. Yeah, the entrance way And we were all stayed in there all snuggled up all cozy on the couch. Walker. Oh, it was freezing through those plastic fucking Yeah, but dude, you'd walk out of there. You get you have to sit down. You get dizzy. That's what we so we now we have We have three window units in our apartment. You have three window units. Yeah, wow Yeah, we're doing all right. I have two. Yeah, I got three crazy. Yeah So my the way my uh apartment set up you walk in and it's straight. It's a straight hallway To the right is the kitchen and there's a door on that

I'll pull like you that like there's a french door on it. We have french doors in our apartment There's a french door on that closes our kitchen and dining french doors meaning there's windows in them Yeah, like the window. All right. I was gonna say if you have a door in your kitchen No, it's a french door. Yeah, it's okay. I don't know. It's it's the style of those I understand So there's that close so you can close that off There's one in there because there's also a dining section in there There's a kitchen and dining section dining section. Listen to this fucking guy. So

breakfast nook, whatever you want to call it. Oh god Um, that always makes me hungry breakfast nook thinking nooks and crannies. Yeah Shout out to thomas. I'm gonna start calling you smuckers because you're jamming up the works Come on We're having fun here. So that closes off and then to the left We have the living room and like office area and that's got one in it. That also has a french door Wait, hold on a second. Is there was there is there an air conditioner in the kitchen? I forget Yes, and one in the living room. Yes, okay, that closes off and then we have one in the bedroom that also

Obviously, there's a bedroom. So what? The smart play is to turn them all on open up all the doors and get the whole place No, we keep that fucking so you got the bathroom and stuff So dude you walk into the fucking you walk from the living room that hallway is like no man's land Why do you do it that way? Don't you like when the I like when the bathroom's air conditioning? Sure, it's just it doesn't it doesn't fully cook that well. You're better off closing the door plus that electric. Yeah Yeah Yeah, really? Well, it's a big hallway the fucking and also like the one in the living room

Is I don't like that. Okay. Well walking out in the hallway cooking. Yeah. Well, you stay in the So why you fucking stay at home base? You only go for supplies when it's desperate Just stock up before you get in there. I we talked there was one summer. I think it was two summers ago I think it was two summers ago. Remember I didn't have money for a window unit recall. Yeah I was like really we were like really hemmed up And I was so poor. It was air being being in my fucking apartment. Remember that. Yeah And she stayed there a couple of times I rented out to you. I sleep on the couch

Kibi I want to rent your spot, but you got to stay there with me four stars And I remember getting all that it was a box fan And I put cold water I like put cold water in the bathroom and let that like then the fan thinking it was and it did a little bit Cool off the air that was coming at you. Did I remember hallucinating in the middle of the night? It was so hot. Mama. Yeah I think my brain was melt for 200 bucks. You come sweat my bed Wait, you were written that place with no ac. No, I got an ac before I started

Yeah, but it was bad it was that it was that that was the apartment Ryan reality tour The real Kevin Ryan, um, you get to work in a law office You get to have an angry dollar slice of pizza go home masturbate furiously Then hit the open mics You'll be back home by four or five am for a nice hot night of sweating Well, there was only like two outlets in the whole apartment So we had to have the fucking weird we had to have the extension Could we get outdoor extension cord fucking running from the living room to the bedroom?

Oh look brilliant question. Um, I don't know if we've done this one If I've read this or not, uh, this is from Nicholas ever install an aftermarket cup holder in your car We have talked about this. Yeah, that's I remember that's I remember we talked about the ash trays Yeah, there's aftermarket ash trays Any anything those things are they you're gonna desuction or the arms or the clips. It's bad You get an uber sometimes like this is the bloody fucking millennium falcon over here I know Just to get her cab right home from fucking cleaver la guardia the other day

He put it right in them. He played the suction it right in the middle. I'm like he was doing this to see around What the fuck? I know dude. It was I was I had my fingers crossed that whole fucking trip Say the flight simulator Trying to get me home safe Does these any of these air conditioners you have right now sure have bluetooth in them Bluetooth yeah, we can turn ours on from our phone when we know we're coming home I think the new one does real nice. I think the new one does I didn't real nice. I don't even use the remote. I'm old school

I want to go up and fucking as soon as you order the dessert hit the fucking a say Oh, I leave ours. I leave ours cooking really. Yeah, even when you go out. Yeah Just all in all day I turn it down like I step it down to keep it cool. You never lose the room You don't want to lose the room you lose the room you're bad news try to retake that shit It's like fucking take eat them. It's like taking Normandy again. It ain't easy So I lower it, you know, and I put it on like a schedule like I keep it at 62. Keep it at the coldest It's like chilly

Keep it at the coldest and then we'll leave. I might bump it up to like 70 or something just to maintain you don't do the whole apartment So the hallways never air conditioned No, but we don't we're not in the hallway. We're only in the hallway when I walked it. It's literally the width of this table Like what am I doing in the hallway? I don't know. It's just we're your closing doors behind you That's air conditioning. You got to close the doors air conditioning. Well, he would pass out before he hit the kitchen Babe, I'm going to the kitchen you need to Come back he's got his shirt wrapped around his head like he's in the fucking desert. She's all I could find

You gotta roll a toilet paper, you know the remote it's a quiet place Um All right, let's see here. This is from Dalton. You or anyone in your family ever done a competitive eating competition That's god. That's a hard no for me I did in elementary school or high school But I can't remember what I ate I don't think it was pies because I feel like that would have stuck in my brain

Maybe watermelon Oh They were big at the swim club growing up A watermelon eating contest that I vividly remember my brother being in but that's more of like a game for like That was like a game like a contest or like kid Yeah, we did some kind of assembly in high school or something that I can't ever watch how much this kid can eat Come on. Come on. It's just lunch I can't ever run it down the hallway foley's going for the record

Huh It was something But now that's garbage. Sure. Yeah, that's a trash. Uh, this is from aoc. Is there any classy name that ends with the letter y No Toby Toby Henry's pretty classy. I'll get Henry. I never thought of I think they're thinking more of like the billy bobby tommy johnny Sandy like the girl's names and why can't you know that kind of stuff is tough. Yeah. Yeah, it's a tough look

but Toby Toby's tough, but that's not your government name It is not it is a nick. That's a nickname Uh, yeah, thomas. Did you ever wear emo stuff? Did you ever wear like the underline ever paint your fingernails? No, fuck no eyeliner no Black transcoat no no no. It was like a element t-shirt kind of guy Element t-shirt. Did you ever spike your hair? Did you ever bleach your hair? No way this hair's moneymaker, baby Shit's fire

I don't know about that. There's a tobyville There is a bit of there's toby time which I found out which is I can't wrap my head around the fucking How that's working toby time. Yeah, everything's two minutes and it takes four hours four hours to the point We were doing the show in a say i'm like i'm gonna have to have a sing easy Uh, just wait for me. It'll be two minutes and i'm like, dude, you have there's four cameras to break down There's fucking suitcases to back up. You're gonna be fucking two hours. I like to disappear in the airport, too It's always fun. We Toby well you guys are like you you guys are weird about that though You gotta like you have to be to get to hold each other's belts. It's like you're in kindergarten

No, I leave him all the tea's always 10 paces behind me staring at the window pulling up to six. Yeah Pulling up your pants Um, yeah, I hey, I'm efficient man. I stick and I move no time for lollygag and let's go What I do all right It's a business man. By the way, I applied for tsa pre-check for just you or all of us can't apply for you What do you tell us? I am telling you right now. All right. Well, I got to do it. Okay. Hey flock of seagulls. What's going on with the hair over there? Yeah, wait, wait, wait, if we get it is to be gonna cover that

Uh, that'll come up in our quarterly meeting Yeah, she's covering it I'm making an executive decision Okay, because I spent all my money That's why I really only gave my knees 20 bucks Um All right, this one's from this one's from william ever have a parent as a substitute teacher Dude, that's got a fucking sock

I don't think I don't think we had that I don't even think kids had oh one kid Uh, his he was his mom was our Spanish teacher and she fucking sucked Everybody hated her really every do like I knew who she was It was like you knew her before you got to do the class with you because I had that I had a teacher No, oh, I had a I had a teacher in elementary school where her daughter was was in was In the class there's got to be some kind of fucking, you know, yeah, there's got to be something going on What's that conflict of interest? Yeah, it's like cops looking up. Yeah, I'm listening

It's got to be frowned upon Yeah, I mean, how can you unbiasedly? Right or wrong, you know what I mean like grade your kid. Oh, I'd be fucking well My mom was fucking I felt they were more dicks be on easy street. No, I don't know The coaching was was was tough too When the coach's son or whatever, you know what I mean idea with that He stunk Yeah, it was all the coaches could always got looks that he shouldn't have been getting

Yeah, he shouldn't have got coaches son vibes Yeah, my dad t-ball really the cubs Oh, I heard I heard they were good back in the day It told the scandal My dad taught or a coach did you guys ever do you guys ever get hit by a ball and kid pitch? I'm sure not not that I remember though Dude, we had a kid hit so many players on our team. We had to forfeit Really? I got beamed in the elbow bro. He hit like nine kids

Yeah, and they wouldn't take him out Yeah, we never I don't remember that Also, I do remember we got in a fight in hockey After the game the game was over. I think we were I think we won and we ran up the fucking points on them and like the other team the other team was like mad or whatever and The parents got mad That's what like they're like this is a you know what I mean the parents got mad at the coach for being like

Yo, you're still let you're still running up the fucking place like nine nothing or whatever You know like the nine-point rule champions don't quit. Yeah, baby. We're going ham And I they didn't let something happened It was in that was always a big place to where it would throw down the slapping of the hands Oh, because you would hit the other or like you would shoulder the kick especially on skates when you had gloves on of course you would fucking Yeah, and it was always like the coach was like don't nobody do anything and made it halfway through that line It'll fucking Peter broke out of like 10 year old nobody do that until I make a move

Dude, we were like 10 and we're like going at it center ice. That's awesome and fucking these parents Maybe lasted about two seconds before they start fucking tea and all They're falling down the bleachers and shit now. We're all stopping. We turn around like ah, what the fuck people like mom dad relax Women were fighting. It was a scene. All right Pillow fight, what are we talking about? Yeah, that's garbage man. Yeah, it's tough getting thrown out of a game is a tough look. Yeah, yeah, never never um

This one's from big head gonzalez Long-time listener first time patron you guys ever disagree with a family member till you both get a couple drinks And then they start making sense I mean I found that feels like every argument I think ever Drunk especially with my family we get we go you we get drunk and we I see this nice Yeah, well that also happens pretty true. That's true. It's true. You see it when you're zoomed out that you're like They're not listening to one another. They're just like no They're just on a broken record and that's a tough look when you're having a conversation with uh with a relative

And like you don't agree or don't give a fuck. Yeah, no, no, you're right. You're right. True. True. Yeah, go to the bedroom or the hors d'oeuvres out. I think you just dropped dessert. See you later. Shit. Yeah brutal later I've got a one time I was at my I was at a party and I was just walking by to like get a beer like I was walking by the kitchen I was like, you know, uh, like a lot of my own. There's just like a big group of fucking people They're like, yeah, like that new york liberal over there. I'm like, I'm not getting pulled in from fucking 15 feet away You guys are just looking for an enemy going over there doing fucking feed them. Yeah, right Just fucking hitting bats and bear spray

Um, all right, let's see what else do we got? Yeah Um, this one's from thomas you guys ever throw garbage out the car window In the 80s 80s and 90s That's dude. It was crazy. You just launched a bag of mickey d's out the window like it was nothing That's just what you did. Well, I don't understand it man. Looking back. It's so bad It's crazy. Dude. We used to a family and that's when it was like, distirable. I'm talking the whole bag Oh cups drinks, dude, you would eat a family of four

Throw in a disposable cooler out the window Dude a family of four or five would be eaten in like a minivan and then just like Out the fucking passenger window doing 80. Oh crazy It's that t-shirt cannon full of fries I don't understand why that was more except they turned it around in the 90s. It was like this is Yeah, I remember being a kid at some points being like this I've seen the commercials that say this is bad, but Fucking launch it

Meanwhile now recycling's a lie. They're just boxing it up dumping it in an ocean. I say throw it in the streets T-bone anarchist over here. This guy doesn't like it. They're gonna be doing street cleaning even more sounds like more commie talk to me No, I'm trying to try to make sure we got some good union jobs out there. Um, it's very true. Do styrofoam big mac things You but you do you remember those or you too little remember? Also, I was always I stayed in the chicken nuggies lane I thought they're fast food. I still tend to to be honest Ain't nothing wrong with a couple of select chicken strips. Well five piece meal. I don't put you out Ah, the mcnugget only one for me. That's my girl right there. Have you had the strips?

I don't think I might I I mean maybe when I was younger It's too much too much McDonald's chicken for me, man They're good I don't think I trusted them. They they they what's select about they're just mcnuggets glued together It's like nerds rope for chicken It's chicken rope. What do you think a hamburger? You know any you know any cows are in a hamburger? Everybody says this dumb fucking quote. What are you 60 minutes? There's 40,000 different cows in one hamburger A thousand maybe 40,000 of the ones you eat

I like to spread it around a little bit Taking out whole neighborhoods you are Yeah Yeah, that's kind of tight tight. What's it? What's tight? You mean make you feel like genghis Khan, man You're fucking you're clipping out people There's bloodlines that aren't living on because of you They got a whole family of cows They say that's bad for disease purposes

Mad cow disease mad cow That was a great sign felt like it's not our fault. These cows are crazy Um, all right, this one's from christian never been read use ever been in a bar with you ever been in a bar bathroom with no sink I can't that the the grossest bathroom I've ever been in was this place it used to be it was the oakford in and then scruples It was a fucking strip club in our neighborhood not in our neighborhoods, you know With like 15 minutes away or whatever Scruples scruples like a superman villain scruples. Yeah, I don't know

It ain't a nice establishment It was the place where you would go and then like you'd see it like you'd go in like college or whatever We were like home for fucking christmas. It's gotta have dolls or satin or something in it Scruples The fantasy show bar scruples Scruples sounds like an evil puppet Why don't you come over to scruples? Scruples wants to play. Yeah, it was uh, it wasn't the classiest place, but they had one of the scruples now

They had a story of scruples They had one of those evil little doll gives a chlamydia Murders to support his kid Um They had that reusable towel in bath hand somebody posted that not that long ago on twitter or something like that It was like the communal Like cloth towel that you would use. I remember I would even go in there dude. I remember using one of those Way too fucking recently. Oh, how did they make it out of the 50s? I don't know

I definitely remember using one in the early 2000s in new york They I mean, it's insane dude. It's insane. They can't be around now with the fucking code. Oh my god That oh, we know they could be flourishing What for all we know they could be I mean, I don't think so, but It's neither here nor there Dude those things they were the grossest. I read dude. It's still stuck. That's the grossest thing ever

That's gotta be that's disgusting But I think in theory you pull it down and then it goes up. So do you pull down a clean? You're supposed to but how much could be in there? I don't know. I don't know I'm not fully sure how it works and they are gross disgusting and there's no way to know that It's not just looping back around like a treadmill. That's what I think it is. It's just like Yeah, whoa Dude in this place it was so it was one of the ones where the stage was only like fucking three and a half inches high Because it had low drop ceiling. It was tough tough. Look

What one of those one of those drop ceilings definitely had a water stain on well as they were painted black. We were classy Have you ever have you ever gotten anything from the guy that works in the bathroom? Like you ever grabbed a mint or anything like that or some gum or I mean, you know me quite well, right? Do you think I'm taking communal bathroom mints? One of my buddies took a Snickers from him one time I was like, what are you nuts? I've done maybe a piece of gum here and there Some of the good ones have bernie single lucies. What they gotta. Oh, yeah, some of the places I I frequent

They got a little have like a pack. Oh, they'll have like a pack of lights and a pack of new ports or whatever Some more roping guys Lights Yeah, so you can go in there and grab one or two, you know, if you're not if you're not like fully on the bernie Those have to be going away, right? Those guys, unfortunately, I would assume kids have some dude in the bag some guy in the bay Yeah, the ladies have them I think the ladies bathrooms have I mean it'd be a woman. I guess the nature did a man if I can

A crevice mom. Yeah, that's when you find out what did he call her? She was something a major d No, major d is the guy that sees you that runs the restaurant runs the floor Kimber what it was. I think it's a major d Now something but whatever Yeah, I guess the girls have it too But you never what about a vending machine in the bathroom? We ever get anything out of there? I think I got in a couple of rubbers Back in the day when you were jammed up or whatever

Yeah, I think Con I mean, what else would you when you were a kid and you saw those you thought they were interesting for like two seconds And you're like, what the fuck I would try not to aspirin and fucking rubbers. I was trying not to make eye contact with them Fucking people people quick. Look right over Um, well in new york, they give the ones out the nyc. They give the Fishbowl. Yeah, that's all right. So I've gone in I think I've gone and used the bathroom and on the way out grabbed a handful of not out of the actual vending machine I'm sure I have I've remembered doing that at some point

Is lifestyle a prank brand is like the whole point of those that they're guaranteed to break I don't know. Listen a big man shooting his mouth off. Yeah, right. I don't know. I don't I never had the Reliable contraceptive. I think I would do lifestyles Ribbed for my pleasure and put it on backwards Hey, she's on her own She's in the other room. What are you talking about me? I'm doing a dress rehearsal. Is that what you're saying that you're so big that fucking lifestyle Oh, I'm just saying that they break they're like fucking pinatas those things. I get out of here. They're all the same

Yeah, I never had too big. I never had a brand That's pretty good baggy Plenty of room Plenty of room to stretch out It's like Delta premiere in there three dicks in this condom Um, I never had a brand where I was like a go-to. No, I was always whatever Want to get out of here? I got a drink. I know it's really cool bar

It's free cigarettes in the bathroom. Um, all right. This one's from josh You know anyone that can open a bottle of beer with their teeth. I saw a woman do this Not long ago front row at a show she fucking Where he in new york here in new york. Yeah Front row attractive lady to front row rooftop show during the pandemic her and her boyfriend Popped one off. Jesus fucking christ. That's no good. My boy pat does it And we're like, I think he cracked the tooth one that we're like, all right, you gotta fucking Yeah, I don't like that. You gotta stop it. I'm not even good with the lighter

Dude, my wife has to do it for me very emasculated I know twist off you pussy I can't get it anything like that Doing the teeth doing the spit that can go all the way down and pull it back up I mean, what who's doing? What is this big daddy? Who's doing that? No one's doing that Did you did you have any gleakers? Gleakers, you know, you don't like to de gleek

It's where you just it's like you move your tongue in a way that spits the spit out of your mouth Those kids No No way people I remember I can do it at will You want to see it? No, you spit fucking chicken salad on me the other day I can do it But there was a kid that went to another school that the legend went the legend went

He can lift up his tongue and it would just shoot out like a constant stream My buddy used to always say oh, you can see he went that he went to grade school at the minute of One day we're at a gas station. Sure as shit this kid's there. He runs up. He's like do it Kid knew exactly what he's talking about turn to the side just went A stream a continuous stream of whatever that juice is spit Just kept going he could do it at will as long as you want it Gleekers? Yeah, gleakers an X man. Yeah

That's what it's called. It's called gleaking. Hey lightly and hey lightly annoy this evil villain. Will ya? Please stop it. Magneto's coming gross him out I think I saw we had a guy we had a guy who could puke on demand And uh, that's a good time when you're in seventh grade. I gotta tell you could puke on demand Would he have to stick his fingers down his throat all ab work just Ew. Yeah, damn. What's he doing now? I don't I still pretty well. I think get out of a couple of checks that way What yeah, he would be like I'm sick and then he would not in the place

But like outside he would like act like he got sick. We would get himself sick And be like, oh, I don't feel well then run outside and puke. I'm like, we gotta do this and they're like get out of here I mean it was for like a slice of pizza in a wild cherry coke, but Yeah, anyway, it wins a win. You're speaking my language. Excuse me. Wild cherry pepsi cherry coke. Yeah. Yeah, sorry Do you know my pepsi guy? Wild cherry pepsi at Aldo's for sure that growing up. That's where we went. Yeah cherry coke get the plague um What was I just gonna oh we had a do you have a kid that could make himself fart

I had a kid that could light his farts on fire Anybody could do that. I did that two weeks ago. Yeah, he did it in the plane the other day did it on stage Um, we had a kid who could make himself fart. You would hear him suck air in his asshole And then doing we made him do it in the pool one time. We just sucked in one and then like shit Like just liquid shit everywhere Not in the pool I was just we had a kid that had web feet found that out when I was like eight Holy shit tough dude. That was a bad day at camp. Good swimmer. That kid came in the pool

We were like what in the fuck is that dude? Yikes, hey aquaman Yeah, fucking hey you you hang out in the hot tub I would you would take those kids are good swimmers, but I don't think they are. I don't think it's enough I mean, it's not like a flipper. It's just like a fucking, you know Little piece of Man, he had ugly toes too I gotta switch subject

We gotta do one or two more then we gotta get out of here. That's gonna make me throw up. I promise Um Let's see Okay, let's get out of here on this one. This one's from michael first question asked Have you ever had a homeowner's insurance claim that you delay getting the work done and just deposit the check into your bank account? So you have a few exposed pipes or drywall in your home. I didn't know you were allowed to do that What you were allowed to do that with the insurance money? Yeah, you decide on whether or not you I don't know how Really? Yeah, I don't think you have to get the work. You can choose. That's why like people who crash their car

They're like, yeah, I got a thousand twelve hundred dollars from Whatever and they just sort of like I'll just drive around with a banged up fucking car Could 12 hondi sit in my on my head need it. You gotta fucking gotta pay rent something like that. Yeah Yeah, we never had any insurance issues ever growing. We've had some flooding and stuff like that My parents had to deal with some shit. No, they always they always get it done right away. Yeah, they want it done That's pretty garbage, man. Yeah. Yeah, but I don't know if I had something like that If I could use the 12 hondo and I'm like, I'm not having up to 12. I'm not having a party 30 grand Yeah, patch that up for five. I'm sitting tight 25 g odds. Yeah. Oh, yeah, you always go you go low

You get take the low estimate you turn in the high one you go low. Oh, yeah They go high we go low Arm and a leg arm and a leg they're charging. Yeah, they said they want three guys out here Get your uncle steve to do it Ah good times here kip. That was a fun one buddy great family episode gang We love you very much. You guys were amazing kippy. What do you got for me? Do you want the kids out there to know at kevin rand comedy on all social media? Follow the r u garbage pages. We're almost at 10k on both. I believe twitter and instagram so check those out

then you know youtube iTunes and Patreon we fucking love every single one of you guys. Thank you so much tour's cooking. We appreciate every single person That has come out to see us live. It's cool to meet everybody. It's cool to meet you take pictures You guys have been fucking absolutely amazing and we fucking Greatly greatly appreciate it and we're looking forward to the fucking The rest of this run. Yeah guys. We have a we have a lot of shows coming up a lot of shows coming up if you're not familiar It's uh, you know, we do some stand-up and then we play a yg with the crowd

Which is turning out to be fucking bongos so fun. The fucking audience is having a blast. We're having a it's a really good time Uh, and we also have shirts on the road that are only available on the road so come out and see us gang. We love you We'll see you next week