Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Yannis Pappas - UFO Sightings!

Episode Date: August 8, 2022

Kippy and Foley are joined by old pal Yannis Pappas! Thanks for listening. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/foleygrams/ Live Shows: https://linktr.ee/AreYouGarbage PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://www.bonfire.com/store/are-you-garbage/ Freeze Pipe: https://thefreezepipe.com/ Promo Code: GARBAGE Established Title: establishedtitles.com/Garbage Helix Sleep: https://www.HelixSleep.com/Garbage Mint Mobile: https://www.MintMobile.com/GARBAGE Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans

Hachi, Machi, that middle class famous tour is in full swing, Gipperino. You ain't lyin', Fatty. It's a live comedy show. We play the little AYG with the crowd. Great way to introduce people to the show, bring the squad, come out and see us. We're comin', baby.

Yeah, gang, these tickets are selling quickly. So make sure you get your tickets. We're comin' and we're gonna be Red Bank, New Jersey, then we're goin' to Seattle, Portland, all in August, then in September, we're goin' Kansas City, Springfield, St. Louis, then we're goin' down under Nashville, Hittin' Indy, comin' home to Philly, baby.

The chicken's gotta come home to roost. Then we're hittin' Providence, Rhode Island, and up there to Beantown, get those tickets. Let's go. Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.

Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast. This is Are You Garbage. Oh, yeah. The little show we sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find out that they're good to be classy, or if they're just a big ol' piece of trash. I'm your host, H. Foley, comin' at ya on a beautiful day.

We're down here at Antoni's basement. She's away. Okay. She's at Eagle's Camp. Okay. Talkin' shit. Hoping that one of them takes a swing at her. She got a couple of dollars comin' her way.

My co-host is comin' at ya from right next to me. He is the CEO of Are You Garbage. He's an international businessman. He's the Prince of Park Avenue, but always the king of the boardwalk, baby. Give it up for KJ. Kevin James Ryan. Hey, gang, thanks for tuning in.

As always, make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. As you know, those numbers are cookin', and then obviously the greatest goddamn website of all time, www.patreon.com. Slash Are You Garbage. Check it the fuck out.

It's a party over there. And get tickets to a live show. It shows us how now Foley sold out. Seattle sold out. Boston's about to go get them tickets. Come see us, gang. Have a nice quick shout out to our producer, Extraordinaire.

The Magic Man makes us all look good. He works the ones and twos. He crosses the Ds, and he dots the I's. Give it up for T-Bone McMuffin. Toby McMullin, everybody. What up, dudes? What up, T-Bone? Oh, man, long days in the building.

Yeah! Yanni's been here, I didn't hear about 10 minutes. I'm ready to buy a bunker, dude. This kid's havin', this kid's in one today, baby. What are you guys gonna admit that Ann Tooney doesn't live here? Shut up! I was upstairs.

Yanni! You guys are runnin' some sort of tax scam here. This guy's fake news. You guys don't wanna pay the property taxes on this place. Ann Tooney left the family, and she's fuckin' a guy named Derek. She lives on the other side of the tracks, and these guys have built the studio here

so they don't gotta pay fuckin' taxes. Come on up. Listen, we're still gettin' this. It's in Tooney's name, but she's not here. I know to fuckin' scam. It's a straw purchase on the house. Yeah, I know how you sell. Yeah, we got her social security checks comin' in.

What do you want from her? She died 18 years ago, you idiot, the fuck. Dang, we couldn't be more excited to have her incredibly, and I mean fuckin' incredibly special guest. Back with us again today. Family at this point. You know him as the host of Long Days. He's got a special out right now. That's tearin' up the fuckin' charts called Mom Love.

Do yourself a favor, go over to YouTube and check it out. Give it up for the one, the only, Yannis Papas. Yanni! How you guys doin'? Thanks for comin', buddy. Thanks for havin' me. Thanks for, you know, thanks for havin' me. I drove all the way out here to South Chairs. Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Also, I don't like to disrespect to Mr. Louis C.K. You called us the Wawa twins. The fuckin' Lou! How you doin'? I did, I did. Two seconds, I saw you did the Wawa twins. I almost went up the fuckin' Nuro Shell wherever the fuck you are.

Toon you up. I thought that was a good nickname. That's great, I didn't. That's fantastic, thank you. Although when I said it on the last episode, Foley was like, he tried to sti... Oh, you did. You were like, Wawa brothers. You didn't like the twins.

Oh, I got upset. Or the Wawa guys. The Wawa guys? You didn't want to be related to him. I am getting fatter, but I'm just being in his proximity. You're fraternal. We all kind of are like in between sizes, right?

It's tough. Sure. You float a lot. What are you rockin'? What are you, a large XL? I'm in between a large and an extra large. Really? Which is embarrassing.

Do you have to do some t-shirts in the morning you get up, they're fresh out of the laundry? You gotta do this? I did a pop. You doin' that? You doin' those shakes? Before you put the head in, you do a little pop. I put them on first, and if it's a large,

I try to stretch it and see if it works, look in the mirror from the profile, and then I take it off. If you look at the bed, there's just a lot of larges just thrown on the bed until I find one that fits. I'm in between, I'm at the point where I have to like crack open a 10 pack of t-shirts

and try each one on. Love that. To make sure I either look like I'm wearing a leotard or I look like I'm a black, I go to a barbecue. It's like a fuckin' t-shirt. That's small, Yanny. Just too big or too small, huh? You never know what day they were made at the factory,

you know what I mean? It could've been made on a Wednesday. You get y'all jammed up. Especially in shopping at TJ Maxx, everything's all fucked up in size. Who's doin' that for you up there? Did you, everybody knows, beautiful family, suburban life, well taken care of out there.

Are you pickin' up those teas, or does the Mrs. do that kind of stuff? The Mrs. picks up those teas. She picks it all up. When's the last time you were clothes shoppin'? Last time I was clothes shoppin'? I always clothes shop. You go and get, like, you'll go and pick up your little,

He gets the nice pieces. He buys pieces, Yanny does. I go, I- Socks and undies? I go socks, my socks, I only go to, what's it called, the Asian store. No, the Asian one. What?

With the Asian writing. Oh, Fuji, no, God. All these? No, that's German supermarket. I go to that one or the Swedish one. Fuji, no. No, it's the famous one. Oh, Uniqlo.

Uniqlo, there you go. I go to Uniqlo. Uniqlo? I go either Uniqlo or I go to the Swedish joint. I just can't think of the name right now. What's he in? No. What are you talking about?

A lot of meatballs, get yourself a dresser. What's the famous cheap one, it's a Swedish store, that's where I get all my socks. And they're like- How luck is he talking about? Yeah, like, you got, when you know, when you, when he finds it, when Toby finds it, you're gonna know the store

and you're not gonna know the Swedish. Lululemon. Not Lululemon, they're expensive, no. Really? God, what is it? I don't think it exists. It's a version old Navy. It's a Scandinavian version old Navy.

Is it Scandinavian or Swedish, man? H&M. Well, Sweden is in Scandinavia. Yeah, it's got you there. Got you there, Toby. Yanni Globes over here. So dumb. Yeah.

I got Gruden Indochodin. Shit. H&M? H&M! You already just said H&M! How the fuck is that Swedish? It's Swedish. I think he's right, it is.

Yeah, you see? I wouldn't call that doke, I have to say. You were talking about some sort of boutique thing. It's from Sweden, he's right. I know it is, it is. H&M. H&M, so I get my socks from H&M. Really?

They're too bad, they're not good, they don't last. That's why I just keep buying them. You know they're bad because they're by the checkout counter. I just take them off my throw. You guys know, I like to throw a lot of things in the fire pit. God, one of the worst. My fire pit is ready for winter. I love it.

It's got diapers in there, it's got H&M socks. Second to trust below 72. Crank it up, babe! Get rid of these tees. That's one thing I enjoy about adulthood and having a little bit of money is I am very reckless. Well, I'll grab a fucking nine pack of socks underwear on the way home and throw everything I got out.

I'm constantly fucking rotating that stock. Fresh in there. Not one fucking, not one expiration date on my own. I keep it moving. I like that we slipped in and got a little money. I like that right there, and it's not a lot. I got socks and t-shirt money, baby, hit me up. I like we started this podcast.

He's got, you've been going to a hairstylist. No. Your hair looks good right now. He's been using sunning, and it looks bad. Oh, is it sunning? Dude, it's bad. That's all sunning. That's all hydrogen peroxide right there, man.

Oh, it's sunning. I thought it looks good. It looks pretty good. Sunning, pretty classy. No, it's all right. And I don't use sunning, I use sunbum. I was being facetious. Okay, thank you.

Whenever you grab a hair product from a CVS, you know? Yeah, that's real dirt bags. And do it yourself. Do it yourself, health care, hair care. That's real fugitive style. I've been debating this. You're shaving your face in a public bathroom. Yeah, just murdered your wife.

Yeah, he's in a gas station bathroom, rubbing water on his face, like that cliche movie scene. And then he's, yeah, sunning in there, changes look. Hide from the cops. Would you ever dabble in a little just for gray? Just for men? Never. People think I dye my hair because I'm in my 40s,

so they're like, how's your hair? It looked like good. I'm like, Greek, don't leak, baby. Yeah, what are you gonna say? Black, don't crack, Greek, don't leak. You got the gray here. I got it right here. A lot of people get it right here,

like the gray or red. I've been debating, dipping into the... Oh, it's gonna look so bad, dude. Even the guy on the box looks bad. If they can't get the box right, you don't stand a chance. Billy Mays looked pretty good with it, I'll be honest with you. Dude, he looks a no.

Hernandez uses it, how bad can it be? No, no, no, don't do it. Because it's like, the color's always too jet black. Yes, it's too not, what, it's too not natural. Yeah, you look like the undertaker's manager. Call Bear. Yeah. Looks painted on, but you got very little.

I know, but it's wild. You just look like you did a couple lines of coke and mist. You're eating powdered donuts on the way here. I tried to make it a little, he's looking slimmer. He is, he's a lady, it's great. You look great, I saw you in the treadmill on the ground. On the treadmill. Yeah.

Yeah. That was a stunt double, but still. When he was on the treadmill, did you have nine, one on dial? That's what I said, I said, was there an EMT outside? I got a lot of messages of encouragement for that, but I also got a handful of messages from people in the personal training, and they're like, yo, knock that shit off.

I got one too, I was like, you gotta knock that shit, somebody save him. I'm like, he's got a hired trainer, I guess. Here's the thing, there's like a hot guy in you like a block of marble, yeah. You're like a Michelangelo statue ready to come out. I got the little peepee, I can tell you that. David wasn't rocking anything.

Little light switch. You chip away a little bit, there's a fucking hot guy in there. I'm working on it, I'm trying. Yeah, you got good face symmetry. Thank you. Symmetry. Symmetry, yeah.

Sounds like a Greek dessert, what are you talking about? Like two symmetries? I was there, the symmetry was a little cold. I'm the only guy without CTE who talks like he has CTE. It's weird, maybe I do have it. Well, you outside line back? Yeah, I don't know, I just, words don't come out right. I'm starting to get to that point too,

I'm missing a lot of stuff. Yeah. Yeah, things aren't working 100% up there. I think I got a little bit though. Yeah, couple of years. Couple of years. I mean, we get you in a wheelchair, push up, you know, I'll call you fat, call you old,

catch the checks, call the fucking day. I want to get on that testosterone, that's why I want to start pumping. No, no, no. I was doing that. I wonder about that. So we can lift heavier sandwiches. Yeah.

I want that in stem cells. Yeah, you do. What's the deal with those? Yeah, you're one of those guys who's going to go full, whatever they got that you're going to take. Fuck yeah, let's go. And if I make it to fucking 80, I'm fucking definitely starting to shoot.

80, God, the bar's low. Life expectancy is 77 average now. Really? 80 in 2022, yeah. Yeah, I mean, his organs have lived a tough couple of years. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right. A tough couple of years. His age, man.

He's still on the eaters too. Are you still smoking, what do you guys call him? Burnies. Burnies. Dude, yeah. I asked him, we were at a club or whatever, two months ago, I'm like, Yanni, you like a cocktail, you drink,

and he goes, you know what I'm into? I see BD. What? Oh, that's wrong. We're not getting in, I see BD. I go, what are you doing? Anything, I'll do it anytime, anywhere. Are you still taking that?

I love CBD, it works for me. Where are you, where are you, where are you picking it up? So earnestly. Who am I picking it up? He's working, he's picking it up at fields.com.com which is the book he's doing. I got a podcast, they send it to me. What do you think I'm advertising?

You think I'm doing Mercedes Benz? McDonald's. I thought you had a plug up there in Sleepy Hollow. Guys, this podcast is brought to you by Let's go. Yeah, free plug. Toby cut that. Unless I see some weight moving into the fucking studio.

Send me some sticky, let's do it. So you're still, you taking him in the morning? I just want him to take him at night. You got me, what are you doing? You smoking it? Cause like I'm a guy who has like, I have like periods of intense anxiety and then I get over it and I'm good for a long time

and it hits me back. So myself, here's how anxious I am. I'm anxious to take the remedy to my anxiety. It gives you more anxiety. It gives you more anxiety. So here's what I do now and this also works for me. You're a different kind of crazy dude. My, you know, I have a psychiatrist

and I only really see him for like, he'll just give me like a refill, right? And so clonopants, right? Okay. After my COVID thing, I had like, you know, a little anxiety thing. I took three of them to get me sleeping again. And that's all I took.

That's all I took. Even though I was supposed to take two a day, I only took three and then I kept the bottle. And then it gave me comfort to have the bottle. That's a big thing. You have the parachute. You're falling out of the plane, you have the parachute. I got it.

So now what I do is I'm feeling anxious. I just put the bottle on the nightstand and I stared it. That's like a dry drunk. That's what a guy who never went to AA does. Just stares at a bottle of Jack in one day. I'm like, I've gotten to the point now where I just hug it like a teddy bear and I fall asleep. This guy's got issues.

But I don't take him. I don't take him because I'm too anxious to take him. Sure. You know what I mean? Because I hear what's gonna happen. Yeah. But it works. Does it knock you out when you take him?

Daring. Good. Daring, good. Daring to have a glass of soviet emblood. CBD can kick rocks. You're calling the fucking heavy hitters, aren't you? I love about people. It's like, you know, the pharmaceutical industry comes up

with something like that. Everyone's all on board. They come up with a vaccine. They're like, we don't trust these fucking guys. Give me the thing that makes me forget my day. Yeah. Give me 14 Klonimans. Keep that fucking vaccine away from me.

I'm putting that poison in my body. Let's go. These people want me at home not working. You doing any vacations? Yeah, I was gonna say, how's the summer going? What's the summer looking like? Yeah, I just- I saw you and your lady.

Yeah. Very attractive. You, I see in pictures- Beautiful couple, beautiful family. You try to reach her level. You do like the smokey eye. You squint in your eyes. You do the little duck face a little bit.

She makes me look more successful than I am. Yeah. Yeah, I think Pete, good looking dude. Come on. Well, good looking dude, stop. Past peak. No, you're not. Past peak.

I don't know. You got some good shoulders. What are you talking about? What are you talking about? Past peak, I got a gut. As I've gotten older, my eyes have kind of, they're kind of like, there's a gravitational pull from my nose, it's kind of pulling them together.

Yanni Cyclops. Yeah. You look at me, you look at me in my- Yanni one eye. I want to put this guy back in the oven. Yeah. They call me cozy eye Yanni. Yeah.

So that's why I usually like to wear glasses because it frames, it gives off the illusion that it frames the eyes and pulls them apart. Gotcha. Yeah. Past peak. What do you do with the brows? Is there any maintenance going on up there?

Yeah, that's a deal. You got to go see the Indians for that. Yeah. For sure. Yeah, I stopped by the mall. You do that in the city? I do that in the mall, yeah. You go to the mall?

No, you're not. No, you're not. Yanni's probably just sitting in the middle of the mall next to the- You get your eyes threaded in the middle of a fucking- Where do you think they're located? They're not in Barney's. There's no fucking, where do you think you go to get threaded?

You're either going into a converted bodega. True. Right? But the mall's a tough one. You're out there, just stretched out. I'm fucking out there. I'm fucking out there. That's to the Cheesecake Factory.

I'm gonna leave this guy's dead. You smell the Indians. That's nuts. And a line of ladies with short haircuts and neck fat. It's me. I'm third in line behind a couple of housewives. And I sit down, they say, we got a Greek and four of them come over.

And because these things fucking, if I don't manicure them, they turn into caterpillars that turn into butterflies and fly off my face. This is how you can spot a Greek. It's the eyebrows. Big eyebrows. My theory is because we used to, you know, toil the soil.

What do you tell them? Till. So I think, you know how like baseball players put the black under here? I think this act of evolutionary crew is to block the sun. Keep the sun out of your eyes. Gotcha.

Keep the sun out of my eyes and, you know, so that's that. Plus you give a mean look to the Turks when they come by. Yeah, it gives you like a, give them one of those. You're really evil. Give them the stinker. Yeah, give them those. Do you have a gal you go to or just whoever's up next? Whoever's up next.

Yeah, I don't have, you know. Do you do that at the barber? Do you have a guy or a gal that you go to? Who does? My mother-in-law is doing it. Your mother-in-law cuts your hair. That's a tough thing though. That's a tough thing.

That's still going on. She doesn't watch his pot. Yeah, it's a tough, it's a hard thing to, it's a hard, you know, the haircuts are a little inconsistent. I hope she doesn't watch it. They're a little inconsistent. Depends on how like a lot of people see that.

And I'm in the entertainment business. So it's like, I can't, there's some time, like once in a while, like it, she'll just give me, it looks like I'm, it should be at my brother's school. The haircut, you know? My brother's special needs. Looks like there's a van pulling up to take me to bowling sometime.

So I went and I snuck and I got one. I got one from a guy now. And like, this is, could be the guy. Is this a regular, does she usually? I don't want to say he's the one, but he could be the one. I did blow him. We headed off.

It's an uncomfortable thing with barbers. Because like if you get one, and then like he gives you the card, and then, you know, then you want to go to the same spot. Especially where I lived, there's very few options. I can't just, I can't cheat on him now. I feel like we're in a relationship. I can't go to another guy with him looking at me.

When you do, it's over. Yeah, yeah. I had that same situation with the barber down the street. Cause I went in there one day, and it was almost seven. He had one guy in the chair, but I'd been going to them, fucking breaking them off, fucking every couple of weeks. Greasing them. He's like, he's like, you gotta come back tomorrow,

and I'm leaving, and I'll fuck you. And I was fucking out. And every time I walked by with a fresh cut, I see him fucking looking at me. There's that guy who used to break my chair. He don't come around no more and did me three bucks. Do you feel weird about it, or you just own it? I own it.

But I know that, I know there's a, you know, there's a thing. They're actually twins. Yeah, it's two little Russian twins. They're twins? Yeah, they're twins. And they got different spots? No, no, they own, no, no, no, I'm not breaking them.

I'm not a home record, what the fuck? Jesus, you broke up a family. That happened in our town. You got fucking your brother too, no, what the fuck? Oh, so they're in the same spot? Yeah. And now you go to the, you can always claim you thought he's the other one.

And then you go like, whatever. Dude, I had a guy, I went in just recently and he cut my hair. I'm not, I don't have the confidence to go, I'm waiting for Steve. Now yours is a quick cut, you know? I'm doing the car. You're going to, you're going to,

hey guy, we're out of here. Go light up here, my friend. Easy, don't be. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, is that a three? Is that a three? Is that a three? What are you doing?

I said two. Guys. But he gave me, so I get chop jobs because I don't have the confidence to say I'm waiting for Mark or whoever. Right, right. So I always get the worst. You get the rookie.

I get the rookie because no one wants them and I feel bad for real nice guy. Get the old guy playing checkers. So I went up and he chopped me up pretty bad. It grew in better a couple of days later and then I went again and I got fucking the guy again. So I sit down and I see his face in the mirror. He is disgusted by my haircut.

He's like, who did this? Right. And he goes, where'd you get this done? I'm like, I had to break his heart and tell him he sucked. I'm like, you did it six weeks ago. You stink. It's tough. It's tough.

And I'm one of those guys when I get a cut, I don't like the conversation. I want nothing to do. Yeah. I'm like, when they, it's like an Uber driver. When I find out they speak English, I'm like, I love when you get a new Uber driver and you just see like a long name

and you're like, thank God. They got two masks on. Yeah. Plastic thing. Yeah. And my own little world back here. Yeah. It's like, do they got a limo?

I'm here to scroll my phone. Maybe before we had phones. Kim, let's talk about established titles, baby. I'm a goddamn landowner. Show me some respect. That's Lord Kippy to you. We're going to be going to war in a couple of years. I've gone, man, trench warfare.

My plot of land verse, your plot of land. Let's do it. Gang, as you know, Scottish custom, if you're a landowner, you get referred to as a Lord Earl lady. Kippy's a lady. I'm a Lord. Do yourself a favor.

You can have a lot of fun, establish titles. You can buy a little piece of property over there in Scotland, health reserves, the, the... Scottish woodlands. Scottish woodlands over there. All right. It's very fun. You can actually own just a square foot.

Yeah. And be a Lord or a lady. It's a good time. You should know it. It's a good time. It's a great gift. Title packs give you at least one square foot of dedicated land on private estate

in Edelston, Scotland, an official certificate with a crest. I got one. They sent it. Look at that. You're not buying stars, some bullshit out there in the galaxy you're never going to see. We're talking about hardcore real estate.

I'm going to go over there this summer, start a fight with a neighbor. Get your tree off, get your leaves off my yard. You can officially change your name to... Kippy the bald head. You can officially change your name to Lord or Lady and then you can use that name on credit cards, plane tickets, oh my God.

Oh, that's what I'm talking about. Shout out to Beyonce Pre-Check. Lord Kippy's coming in hot. Holy shit. I guess he has just got to be a landowner. Oh, the established titles, baby. You're the shit. I'm getting my license changed.

Established titles is running a massive sale. Call me, sir, God damn it. Plus use the code garbage to get an additional 10% off. Let's use the code garbage to get an additional 10% off. Go to establishtitles.com slash garbage to get your gifts now, do it. Gang, all your garbage is brought to you by Freeze Pipe. Listen, let me tell you something.

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What was it like? Have you taken a taxi recently? A proper taxi. Got in, threw your hand in the air, said I'm going to Queens. Yeah, some city I was in. Where was I just? I got in a taxi.

Those are weird. Montreal, I got in a taxi in Montreal. Cause there was no Uber's late at night cause you know, they're full on socialists, so why try to make money, you know? Shut it down. Yeah, I mean, nobody's working up there. That's why everyone's losing their bags,

the airlines are shutting off. He was posting pictures like you were on your honeymoon. Dude, you were like swinging around, light posting stuff. I love this city. I was like, damn, Yanni makes me want to go to Montreal. They're up there. They're wild to French.

We're up there wild, dude. I've never been. They just passed the bill, bill 96, straight out of COVID. Where? He's been there a week, and he's doing the bottle thing. I was there three weeks, I'm on the city council at this point.

Like I was there so fucking long. Yanni gets involved locally. Yeah, I was there. Think globally, act locally. He's got a grassroots effort going on at there, Montreal. Dude, I was there so long, like my. How the fuck would you know what bills they got? That's what he's got.

What are you reading the paper up there? Yeah, I read about it, and I was doing the culture, the Just for the Culture show, formerly known as the Ethnic show, but they changed it to Just for the Culture. Yeah, because ethnic was somebody considered derogatory. Slurr.

That's wild. They used to call the Ethnic show. And you went up, what is what, Greek? I went up it's Greek, yeah, which is like, eh, white-ish. Yeah, it's like, you know, we get kind of like this thing, Greeks, where they're like, is he white, is he not?

He's Greek, he's kind of, you know? Yeah, so the Bill 96, so anyway, I had this idea that like, I wanted to. He's nuts. I wanted to call and keep complaining to Just for Laughs about the name of the show, like anonymously. Just like start posting and be like, Just for the Culture, till they just had to call it show.

Come to show. Come to show. You had a pay phone at Montreal, all with a bunch of quarters. Your family's behind you waiting. Come on, we have dinner reservation. Hold on, let me get. Just for the culture, what about people

who have two cultures, or three cultures? What do you mean, Just for the Culture? That's otherizing. People who don't identify as one culture. Let me talk to Andy Kindler. Yeah. I don't know, he did a, he did a standing-in show.

Yeah, we may endow on the phone now. This state of the industry lasted longer than it should have. He should've just got up there and been like, this is over, goodnight. TikTok isn't here, Google's not here, what are we doing? It's over. You don't want to talk to anyone else? Just grab a sex doll and some VR

and get the fuck out of here. Yeah, what are we talking about? I mean, what are you gonna, I mean, it's kind of a different thing now. But, so Bill 96 is, what the fuck, man? Bill 96, they're- You should have a pitcher of water right now.

Yeah, they want to make it illegal to speak English. So the French are like crazy, and it's passed like unanimously. So, I mean, I'm oversimplifying it. Sure, in what schools? No, it's more than that. So if you immigrate to Quebec, you got about six months to learn French,

and if you don't, you get deported. What? That's part of the law. Damn. Your restaurants have to be in French. They send out spies and they go to your restaurant, and if it's not, you get fined. Yeah, so they go hard. You have to say bonjour high.

You gotta say the French first. Bonjour, bonsoir. Yeah, they're really, they're big on it. I'm a big French guy, though, I like it. French is nice, but it's like, here, listen, look, I know the English and the French got a thing, right? We're constantly battling, but there's a little thing called America, okay?

USA. And we're the neighbor to the south, and they should be thankful that we're all not speaking German right now. Okay? And that's because of guys who speak English. Sure. You're a little neighbor to the south.

So how about a little respect for the boys that storm the beach so you can run around? Shout out to Easy Company. So fucking listen to me, the premier Quebec Pepelepew. Maybe an exception in that Bill 96. It says, if you got an American passport, we look the other fuck away if you say hi, because thank you that we're not listening

to German techno right now. We're a fucking Hugo Boss Unis, thanks to the boys who stormed the beaches. Now make sure I got ketchup with my chicken fingers, okay? Yeah, nobody's fat over there, though. Go back. They have regulations on the food. Yeah.

Yeah, of course. Corn, high fructose corn syrup and ketchup. GMO's all the time. Like that, same thing over in Europe, fucking real nice. Real all natural, yeah. They also don't wear deodorant though, either. But I was just... Yinging Yang.

It is what it is. I was just down in Wildwood, New Jersey, shout out. Maybe the most American place. No French down there. No, there is not. They still serve freedom fries down there. It's like fucking September 12th, 2001 down there, every goddamn day.

They don't give a fuck, dude. It's great, but on the boardwalk at 11 o'clock, every day on the boardwalk, everybody, they play the national anthem and everybody freezes hat off over the heart. And I was with my wife, who's German, and she was like, she didn't know. I would lean on my, it's fucking America.

You better fucking pay some goddamn respect. The people who died for this fucking goddamn Sam's Pizzeria right now. Everybody stops hitting their girlfriend for a second. When this is over, you're fucking dead. Meanwhile, the Gravitron's still running, isn't it? Can't shut that off, what are you kidding me? Good, clean American fun, baby.

Are you gonna do anything? Have you guys done anything this summer? Are you gonna do anything? What have you got cooking? She came up and visited me for a couple days, mantra. Yeah, while you were making prank phone calls all the time. We're a romantic guy. It's called Bruce Hill's Gone Like This,

just for the culture show. Then we did a little Fort Lauderdale. What? Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Did you fly from Canada down to... No, we did that before we went to Fort Lauderdale, a couple days in Fort Lauderdale.

Nice. Did you have a weekend or midweek? We did a weekend. Weekend. Weekend, off peak, a little humid. Take the kid? No, no, no. A little humid is an understatement. Yeah, you don't go in the summer to Florida, but we did.

Rates are good. Cause you're cheap. Yeah. Yanni Alligator arms. Four seasons, it was 50 bucks. I'll just take two seasons, please. Okay, how many fucking jellyfish are out there? I don't need the towels, all right?

Yeah, we did a little Fort Lauderdale. Okay. Yeah, I think it's a nice look, anyway, cause it's cheap. What are you doing here, Yanni? You get the hotel? Save money. Miami's a hop, skip, and a jump. That, Miami is like, it's like crazy how expensive.

Oh, it's not. What they do now is they include the tip and you're billing Miami. Yeah. Cause I heard you were coming. Yeah. Yeah. Papas are coming again.

Fucking juice in the bill is fucking cheap bastards. And they don't tell you. So sometimes like people will tip and it's already in there. And they don't tell you. You gotta be hip to it. But Fort Lauderdale is none of that. None of that.

10% across the board. Fort Lauderdale is like going down to South Florida. Like it would be like going to New York and just never leaving Hoboken. Sure, yeah. What airlines you fly down? I think we did Delta. I got Miles.

You got Miles? I got Miles. You do the bump up, you do busy? No, and my wife wasn't happy about it. I don't do the bump up for three and under. Really? Don't do it. Yeah, I can handle it.

As long as I get an aisle seat, I can handle it. I can handle three hours in coach. You were in aisle seat and then where were you? Soak in my pocket. I forget how tight he is with the shackles. I am a little frugal. You are. I am a little frugal.

Yeah, I'm not a spender. Except for sneakers, but you know. So you were in the aisle. Where was the day, Matt? Where was Mrs. Pappas? We had a middle. Six rows back. She was on the red eye that night.

Yeah, she was on standby. She didn't take another flight. They were offering 500 bucks, so I gave it to her. I'll get down there and turn the air on. Get the room nice and cold. I'll see you in six hours. I'll get down there and negotiate with the front desk. She got a child discount.

God knows she's young enough. Says your daughter coming up like, yeah. She's got a set of wings. She's up in the cockpit. Taking a picture with the captain. Yeah, no, we had a middle seat and a window. I usually do aisle, but the only seats that were available in coach.

Who takes the window? You do. It was supposed to be me, because I don't like sitting next to the guy, because she's smaller. Sure, of course. You know, it's like when you sit in coach and you get. You got to work as a team to make both people's most comfortable.

There's only two things you want to see coming into that middle seat. And an AM. And an AM. Thank you. I know. I hate to say it. You want to see Asian, or you want to see woman.

Those are the two. They're kind of usually smaller, smaller frames. And Asians just polite about space. They're just a little more like civilized about it. You know, the Americans are kind of like, got to like, you know, flop out. Get a man spread. I know I've ruined some flights for people.

For sure. I'm aware of that. Yeah, for sure. And everybody's fucking judging me the second I get on there. And then you fall asleep and you're like, Sounds like a blowtorch. I got training day blasting. I'm at the point now.

I think I said this, but they don't. You know, they come by with three different snacks and they say, which one do you want? I just, I get the fucking sewing kit. They just, here you go. They just give me all. I get the almonds. I get the granola bar, which is actually pretty banging

on Delta. And I get the cookies. I get the best coffee. And why is that? Because I'm a big fat pig. So they know he's gone. They just assume he's gone. You called ahead the airline and said, look,

podcast's going pretty good. We're trying to keep him around. No, he's been doing very well. He's losing weight. You look great. Looks good. Yeah, you look great. It's not going to his head at all either.

You got it. You got it slimmed down a little bit. Oh yeah, of course. Yeah, we do fat court on the Patreon, where we weigh him in once a month. The scale's right there. It's for goats, I swear to God. It's a veterinary scale.

He's a fucking steer going to slaughter. He's got a tag on his ear, it says 322. There's bugs flying around his ear. That's, yeah, and you're losing. He's doing good. I'm losing. You making weight? Making weight.

Yeah, making weight. Do you do it legitimately, or are you just fucking getting the steam rolling? Try to fool people. Trash bags running around, old wrestling days. No, I'm doing it in the beginning. Yes, I was. Now, were you a former wrestler?

I was. Yeah, see, that's different, though. Former wrestlers and former football players always struggle a little bit with the weight afterwards, right? I do. I was preaching this to the choir. He's 60 years old.

I'm all fucked up. I got PTSD. What do you mean, that is? It's not like the season just ended. But you know, he hasn't been on a wrestling mat in 28 years. But you learn those weird things, right? Of like cutting, and then putting it on, and then all that unhealthy shit.

This isn't an excuse. I'm a fat pig, and it's all my fault. At what point of wrestling do you eat 14 pizzas a week? You got PTSD, putting sandwiches, terrier. You got a combo load before it came, Yanni. You just eating pizza, like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. I'm sorry, Mr. Whitmer. I do have a very weird relationship with food,

because it was. I mean, I'd go like two weeks without eating, like straight two weeks. I get it, dude. You see like a lot of former linemen and stuff like that. Boxers, you see Buster Douglas? Buster Douglas can pair him to Buster Douglas, though. Well, a little bit.

A little bit. They have something in common. Sure. Yeah. Oscar De La Hoya's poking up, poking up a little bit, though. Yeah, he's also doing a little bit of blow. Yeah, he's having a good time. I like that kid.

He likes to party, actually. He's all right. Kid likes to put throwing up. Him and Bruno Mars. Bruno Mars gets knocked every, like, third week for fucking cocaine in his bag. Yeah. And Kid likes to throw on stockings once in a while.

Big deal. I'm with it, yeah. What the fuck? He's still tuning up. He's in the high heels, right? Yeah, big deal. And instead, a full fishnet suit. Yeah, that's weird.

Good-looking kid like that down in Miami, having a good time. The fucking yaks going around. Let's get fucking weird. What have we done? He'll still knock you to fuck out. Yeah, yeah. What kind of halter top he's wearing? Yeah.

Fucking put your lights out. You ever notice the guys who can fight are really tough or just more OK? They just kind of, like, they're more OK with that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, it's like, we try to be masculine to prove that we're tough and we're not. Right.

So it's like, they know they have nothing to prove. Right. Like, I'll get a little freaky. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. It's almost like you get so masculine, it almost comes out to the side like a Pac-Man game. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because it's only so far you can go that you come back around. Yeah, start putting on a pair of pumps. Yeah. That's what I'm talking about. I got my lipstick in my purse. I did a fucking party. But no, I'm taking it seriously in trying to adjust all my habits and stuff.

Yeah. Yeah. Looks, you look good, man. But I was fooling them a little bit. Yeah. Yeah, I was not, well, maybe not. You wasn't. I was sucking weight.

Yeah. I would say the first month. I went like, yeah. Because it's like PTSD for you. Now you feel like you're backing your wrestling days where you got to make weight. Yeah. Or else your podcast partner fucking makes fun of you.

Yeah. No, he owes me money. Oh, it's a money thing. Yeah, I'm in the hole. He owes me 4,800 bucks. Are people betting on this? I'd like to get in. No, we waive the payments if he comes in at weight.

If he comes in underweight, he doesn't have to pay me back. Now, how about, do you got to get in the scale? Or you just. Well, that's the big guy. That's what the YouTube comments are yelling out right about now. Yeah, I put on a couple of pounds. What up?

Yeah, my hair's falling out. I know. Yeah, I got to tighten it up as well. Yeah. But your hair's pretty is holding on for your age. It's holding. Yeah. Yeah, it started early.

Other pictures, you look weird with hair. Yeah. OK. It looks strange. You look like an old substitute teacher. I like it now. You got a little Bruce Willis thing on it. Button up your shirt.

It is distracting me for sure. I feel like we're in Boca right now. You and Yanni in Fort Lauderdale stiffen someone on it too. And that gratuity is already on there. You do that shirt with that hat. Just looks like you're like in Cancun on an all-inclusive from South Jersey. Yeah, you put on the.

I sat through the timeshare pitch. Living it up. Living it up for three days. Ah, I fucking like it. Yeah, the longer you I lived in Miami for a year, and every month you go one more button down. Sure. You can tell how long someone's lived in Miami

by how many buttons are over there. Yeah, that's what I want. Yeah. Never put on a pair of pants again. Just go shorts and one of these things. Yeah. What's the Cuban one? Guaya vera?

What are they called? The Cuban shirts with the pockets? That's a cheese. You know what I'm talking about? They got the two pockets that go down. They're like, look, barber shirts. I take your word for it. I know you talk about it.

The white linen shirt that has the four pockets. Guaya vera. Yeah, Guaya vera close enough. Yeah, this is the culture show. Yeah, this is the just for the culture show here. Get a little retzina in here, fucking make it complete. Retzina. Yeah, of course.

You know retzina. Of course I know retzina. Greek wine. Greek wine tastes like pine. How long you been waiting to fucking shove that in the conversation? Couple years. How do you know that?

I worked at a Greek restaurant. Yeah, shout out to Snac de Verne in the West Village. Delicious. Fantastic. I never heard of that one. It's called Snac. Snac de Verne. Oh, I know that one.

Phenomenal. Yeah. Phenomenal. Yeah, is it like more of de Verne food, like kind of home cooking kind of, or is it fancy? No, it's a tongue cooking. Nice neighborhood spot. Yeah.

Breakfast with brunch is amazing. Really, really good. But that's where I learned all that stuff and fell in love with fucking Greek food down there. It's great. They say we got the best diet, Mediterranean diet. They say cheese is fat. So the feta cheese is phenomenal.

Lowest fat. Little feta musalata. I found out about feta cheese. Like a little feta musalata. It's cute. It knows. Fuck yeah. He was in the walk-in freezer eating everything.

Yeah. God, how did that guy memorize the menu so fast? We got an 86, the left side of the menu. Yeah, good stuff. Little Domades, 11-inch grape leaf. Fucking good shit there. Do you entertain at the house at all this summer? Yeah, we haven't.

We got to redo the back. Kip, I like that helix. Love that helix, baby. I masturbated in one this morning. But hey, that's a top quality company right there. I'll tell you that right now. What do you want to do? You want to go to the mattress store and walk around?

Oh, no, what I want. Or you want to take a quiz online, find out what kind of mattress is best for you in about two minutes, and get your mattress delivered to your door. You tell me, what do you want to do, bozo? You want to be pulling it like Kippy in his apartment or wandering around some fucking bozo mattress store?

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We got chairs on grass. Ooh. Yeah, we got chairs on grass. Throw the pool in, what are you doing? Pools, that's a cold 100K, 150K. Then you gotta get insurance, you gotta put a fence around it. But then you save the money on the Florida trips

and you don't gotta go anywhere. You got the whole spot there. And here's the thing, you put in a pool, everybody's coming to you for the next 20 years. Yeah, I don't know. Everybody's coming to you. The neighbors kids are fucking showing up in my backyard. I'm seeing them on the pool hopping.

I'm seeing them, you know, I'm seeing movement on the Google cameras. I'm going out there with my shotgun. I kill one of my neighbor's kids. All they wanna do is go to the pool. The other one drowns in there because they sneak in. I get sued. It's a whole mess.

Hey, he's still like a real fun guy. Hey, let me try one of those Kalanapins. Take the edge off. Holy shit. Yanni D-Daff over here. Jesus Christ. What the fuck? Man, that was a dark twist.

It's not Stranger Things, relax. And he said that like it's all, he's lived all of that emotionally. I do the same thing. Pools are headaches. I know. Insurance is huge. Would you do a above ground pool?

You can't do that, right? Cause then I couldn't come on this podcast without you guys calling me trash. I got an above ground pool at the Foley house. Yeah, trash. We have a deck built around it. So it's almost in ground. It's nice.

No, it's still four feet above the ground. Keeps it cool in the summer, Yanni. Keeps it cool. He keeps calling it an in ground, above ground. No, in a growth ground pool, is there any like space for a chair or you just hop in the pool and then you go back inside? What?

They built it. First of all, it's unlike anything I've ever seen, right? They've their whole backyard. You've seen Karate Kid, right? You know how Miyagi had to have the backyard pimp that where it was all deck? Can't picture it. My whole backyard is a deck.

You're gonna sit there and tell me you can't picture Mr. Miyagi's deck right now. I can't picture it. Of course you can't. That's a wild bowl. Is it? What do you mean? Very popular movie.

Well, what do you have? A deck attached to the pool? So, yeah. He didn't have a pool. You walk out. He had a quiet pond. His whole backyard is a deck, is an elevated deck the size of the pool.

Got it. So you gotta like step up onto the deck and then the whole entire backyard is a deck and pool. Got it. There's not a blade of grass anywhere. Got it. Got it. Yeah.

So you got a rocket. You lack of oxygen in that backyard. They made use of the acreage they had. Yes. They made full use. So what I'm saying is, so what you want to do. So save on mowing. There you go.

Yeah. 100%. So you got chairs on grass. You want to put a patio in there. Yeah, we got to do a little patio. We can't have the chairs on grass. Are we talking those white plastic chairs? What kind of chairs we talking?

I got one of those recliner ones. Okay. They're rust up though. When the weather hits them. They get rusty. Yeah, you get them on Amazon. You have the pads on. You got to put the pads out all the way.

Yeah, you got to put the pads. Is there an awning in the back? How do I walk out of your back? We got those umbrellas, for some reason you fill the bottom with water, but they always fall over and almost kill your daughter. Come on, man.

So now, so in my backyard, they're just always down because whenever you put them up, the slightest gust of wind will threaten life. Yeah, you got to hook that up. Yeah. Got a swing set back there for the kids? I got a swing set.

Just bought a new swing set. Really? Yeah, go. Metal or wood? Wood. Wood. Did you buy one of those ones with the three colors on top?

With the expensive ones? No, no, it wasn't expensive. But it has a finish on it. He stole it from the neighbor. Yeah, the wood has a finish on it though. Does it have like a little hut that she can climb into? It's got little monkey things.

Okay. Monkey bars? It's got the monkey bars, it's got the rope thing. Okay. Okay, we got the infant swing seat in the middle. There you go. Okay, then you got the rock wall climb.

And as my daughter calls it, we got the big slide. The big slide. Nice. The slide enclosed, like the tube. No, it goes straight down. It's not a Carnival Cruise, what the fuck? Who put that up?

It wasn't me. No? A couple of Mexicans guys came didn't like that. I don't even think they had a screwdriver, I just saw them turn into these fucking hands. They really knock it out, dude. They know what they're doing. Yeah, they knock it out.

And I placed it just perfectly. I actually had to call Verzi over. I was so anal. Take a look at that. I called them over, it was actually a funny thing. Because while they were over putting it up, I was like a little unsure of if I was putting it in the right spot.

Because it's a permanent decision. And I didn't want to cut off any of the acreage. Is there concrete involved? No, concrete's right on grass, everything's on grass. That's a problem. Okay. Yeah, so. People don't want to hold the acreage.

No, I'm saying like, don't you have to put it in concrete so it doesn't fall over? I thought so, but those boys went right into the dirt. I think you should go down enough. Yeah. Okay. So, but I was so unsure of it, like while they were putting it together,

I called Verzi up and asked him to come over so he could like help me. Get eyes on it. You get some eyes on it. And it was funny when he showed up. Too close together. Yeah. We needed eyes, not eye on it.

We needed more than one eye. This is in my yard or her yard? I can't tell. He got it in the living room to the middle of the street. It's just not gonna work, yeah. So, it was funny when he came over, they were working and he walks up the back steps and he just goes, no, no, that's no good.

We're gonna have to put it back. He's got a helmet and a penny on. They turned around like, what? Like, and he was like, I'm just kidding. It was really funny. It was really weird. No, what are you doing? It's not gonna work.

You gotta go back, go back, go back. And they were all startling stuff and he's like, I'm just kidding. Everyone pretended like they understood each other. You get lunch for the guys when they're doing it? Water. My wife's big on that. My wife and my mother-in-law are big on that.

Nice. They'll offer, you come in. She's the, your wife's classy, I would presume. She's a little more classy. Yeah, her and my mother-in-law are big on hydrating the workers. They're working. Yeah, they'll come out, plate full of stuff.

Nice. Waters. Nice. Yeah, me, I'm not so good. You don't even let them use a bathroom. Yeah, no, they said that. Go in the woods. I love to piss outside at night.

Oh, it's the fucking best. It's the best, dude. Everyone's down. It's the best. It's out there, let the fucking wind touch your balls. Feels so good. Yeah, the only problem is it's real pitch black where I live, right, because we're in the country.

So, I always piss at night. The last time I take my dog out every night, I piss. I always save that piss for the outside. The problem is my dog's also black. So, what happened the other night was my dog ran through my piss stream. Pissed on my dog. That's good.

You tell anybody about that? You guys. Yeah. So, you just let it rock. You didn't go inside and say have you got to wipe them off a little bit? I wiped them off a little bit. I went to bed with dog wipe and went about our business,

but I peed on the dog box. Yeah, you know, it's a casual thing. Anybody asked you were drinking, you hear me? Yeah. You want the dog sleeping in bed? I do let the dog sleep in the bed. Nice. So, you peed on your dog and let them hop in your bed.

Yeah, that night I did after I wiped them down. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, it's you and the missus and the dog at the foot of the bed. We do. The bed is the only thing she's allowed on. She's not allowed on any of the couches or anything. Really?

Yeah. I want to preserve those couches. Those are good West Elm couches. Is there plastic on them? There's no plastic on them. Not yet. Yeah. For the delivery.

Yeah, not yet. You know what the one thing you got to watch with the jungle gym in the back? You got to be careful with the landscapers. When they're weed whacking around that, they're going to fuck up the bottom of the wood because they're just going to zzzz right around it. I'll tip, I'll take it.

Yeah, keep an eye on that. So, what do I do? I get to just shoot them with a water gun and pick the clothes? I get the hose coming. Maybe some plastic covers down there at the bottom so that doesn't affect the wood. I assume that would bother you if it did.

Plastic covers on the wood? Like, so where the wood meets the ground, they can't, you can't mower that. Right. So, they're going to weed whack around those little perimeter. It'll chip the wood. Got it, it'll chip the wood.

I don't think it's that big of a problem. Right. I don't want to put any more signage up. That would be weird if there's a sign going like, please mind. Please mind the paint chips. You don't have signs up at your house, do you? I got the security sign up.

Oh, of course. Yeah, you got it. It doesn't have the subscription for the security, but. No, all you need is a sign. Just a little bit. Wait, you really just got, I got the subscription. You don't have a beware of dog right here. And if I didn't, I wouldn't admit it.

Just because there's some cycle out there. Yeah. No, I got the full works. These days you got it. I don't know. I live in New York. It's so wild to me. I get scared when I go out in the burbs now.

Too quiet. That's how I want to get got. Yeah. I mean, I'm looking out the windows and shit. I don't trust it. You don't do it. That's where the KBGBs are. Yeah.

You ever seen anything weird back there? No. Just, you know, I've seen a fox. I've seen a coyote. Any weird lights in the sky or anything? No, but my neighbors did. You have those? Yeah, two neighbors.

Yeah, they both saw. Yeah. Did you tell us this already? No, didn't tell them. Hold on a second. Lay it on me. Yeah, neighbors. But do you believe them?

I believe them. When was this? I believe them. I believe them. They said they were sitting on the back and they saw it go across the sky. Probably your umbrella. Yeah.

Yeah. Was it leaking water? Yeah. It's just yawning, pissing. Sorry about that. I just run it over to there. You're sorry. Frick of wind just takes that thing.

God damn Gus got it again. Was this recently? Recently, yeah. What? Around the 4th of July, went over to their house. And yeah, they told me. It's probably fire.

Were they boozing? They were sitting, the two of them were sitting out in their backyard. They said, and they saw it go across the sky. They called. They called the police to see if anyone else had called it in. Nobody else had called it in or whatever. But I believe them.

Holy shit. You look a little different now when you're out there. I'm hoping. I grew up there hoping, yeah. You would, would you want to see? Yes. You would want to.

I would want to see. You were your anxiety, would it be able to take it? Maybe. It's a whole another world of fucking things that can get you. Maybe it's one of those things that like, it's a good idea. And then when it happens,

like I really wish I wasn't. I'd have to kill myself. You would. Kill yourself. Yeah. Invite him in. Yeah, invite him in. Give him a water.

He's worried about his neighbors drowning in his imaginary pool. He can't take alien life forms. You crazy? You guys are fully insured, right? I can't have you on the property. There's been like tons of mass sightings. Westchester, like, you know, up in the North,

around the country. I'm moving to Jersey. I was talking about it. There's one famous one on the Teconic in like the 80s or something where like thousands of people saw it. And they all got out of their cars and were looking at it.

And they all said it was like the size of a football field. And it was just silently moving across. Like thousands of people saw it. Damn. Yeah. And then there's the one you can Google in Arizona where you can see the big ones. Of course, the Phoenix lights, yeah.

It's like a big ship just moving silently. Don't pull it up, Toby. Yeah. I mean, it's wild. Aliens exist. Of course. I don't know what they're doing. I think they might be jerking off to us

because they come. They look down and say, these guys are fucking bozos. I mean, what do you do once you're done with internet porn? You're out. Right? Yeah. So that's what they do.

They come, they check it out, and then they're out. It's the only explanation possible. That's why they're only here for a short period of time. You know what I mean? Hey, 30 seconds to get your fucking weasel whacked and get out of here. And that's like their browser history. They're commanders like, where were you guys?

And they clear the history of where they were. Arizona. Yeah. No, no, no. We were over in Galaxy 7. We weren't. We didn't go over there. Galaxy 7.

Yeah. They're in the park. I would love to watch a sci-fi movie written directed by Yannis Poppins. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. The Greeks saved the day at the end. Setting the planet's sleepy hollow. All right, listen.

All right, let's do a couple of cues. Yeah, we only got a couple of minutes left. We gotta get to some cues. Last time we were here, we didn't even get the cues. We have such a good time. We don't even get to the questions. Yeah, it's a good time with Yanni. You can tell it's a good guess

by how quickly we get to the questions. Gang, do yourselves a fucking favor. It's got a special out right now called Mom Love. It's on YouTube. Do yourself a fucking favor and go check it out. He's a killer. You also just got some big praise by one. Sebastian Minaz-Gal, go ahead, Sebastian.

Louie, too. Louie gave me some big praise. Shout out to Louie. Louie, Sebastian. They know what's up. Yeah, I really appreciate it. It feels good when you get that from those guys, you know? I say this all the time, you know,

we go back and forth. When I'm like, you know, I don't want to say in the zone, but when we're like going back and forth, I feel like you, like even like my cadence, I start like almost doing you. What do you mean, like on stage? No, no, here at the pod.

Oh, you do have a mimic-y. Yes. You have a lot of- Here's the OG of it, like the, and I'm going on it, you know what I mean? That thing, the Yanni thing. You know what I'm talking about. I guess I can't see myself, so I'm not aware of what you are.

Oh, it's fucking, it's ingrained. By the way, you guys fucking killed on that. I think we had a great standup on the spot. That was fantastic. That was a good time. Shout out to Jeremiah Watkins. That was one of my, we've talked about this on the show, I think.

One of my favorite nights in comedy. Yeah. It was nice out. It wasn't too hot. Everybody's hanging outside. Hanging. Spoken cigars. Hanging.

The whole lineup hung the whole show, too. Yeah, it was fun. It was rarely happened. Really fun. Really fun show idea, Jeremiah. Fantastic. He's the best. It's a, it's a scary thing.

You go up there and you're like, Hi, what do you got for me? Like, now that I did it once, I want to do it again. Yeah, because you're like the bubble's burst. I know I can do it. All right, now, because I was like, the first one you're kind of like,

what, how does this go? You know, you just like, you take one and you run or you, but you could deflect them. You don't like one, you got nothing. You're like, all right, give me another one. Yeah, I can get it. You stay.

I didn't hear what you said. I didn't hear what you said. I heard meatballs, huh? Let's go. Anybody got any ideas on my jokes already? Anybody know my clothes there? Somebody say, sleep after your machine? All right, here we go.

All right. All right, this one in the same vein while we were just talking about this was from Mike. Ever had to chase a wild animal out of your house? Out of the house? I had a bird in the fireplace, scared the shit out. Yeah, we had bats. Yeah, you know those ground bees?

They're cicada bees. They're huge, cicada killers. So they always get in the house. No things are like birds, dude. When you hear them, when you hear them hit the window, you're like bang, bang. Crack it a little bit. Yeah, so I had to tennis.

You're banging on the door? I had to tennis racket a couple of those mofos. I killed two bats with a tennis racket. I didn't want to do it. I was young, they were in the house. What was I going to do? Tennis racket. Was one of them.

Very underrated, murdering weapon of animals. Got a broad face to it. Good swipe. The air goes through. There's no resistance, yeah. And you hear it, whack, and they fucking go. They go and then usually they hit the wall too. It's like a pinball, bang, and you get him twice.

I don't know if those cicada killers, do they bite? Do they sting you? No, they don't really fuck with you. Fuck up your lawn. What do you mean? Because they like to burrow close to pathways and stuff. How many of these things have you got?

I've seen one in my life. Oh, God, they love my property for some reason. So what you also do is you get the... I'd rather have the aliens. Yeah, you get the poison, you find their holes, and you smoke them out like fuck. You smoke them out like Viet Cong. Hit them with some Agent Orange.

You know what's a low-key, amazing insect killer? Lint roller. It's like a club that's a glue trap, dude. Oh, I guess they'll stick on them. I like that, dude. Like a blackjack. Yeah. Fucking hit him a little bit.

Yeah. Like an old cop in the 20s. Yeah. But you don't got a wide... Yeah. You got a fine point, you got to hit him. Yeah, I'm accurate. How about this one?

Tape the lint roller onto the tennis racket. There you go. And have some fun. Yeah, you're just talking crazy. Then leave him out in the yard. Let his boys see him. Here's what happens when you come to the Papa's house. That's what happens.

Stay off my jungle gym. I'll pay you right now. Damn, dude, cicada killers. Cicada killers. And of course, New York, it's always the big roaches, those big water bug joints. You got them up there, too? No, no, but when I was in New York.

Oh, yeah. You know, when we kill them, they crunch. They say don't crunch them because it like brings out more or whatever. I didn't know. You hear that? It's like, apparently they release some sort of... There's old wives tell me,

but they release some sort of chemical when they're killed, when they're smushed. Oh, so how are you supposed to get rid of them then? I think you ask them to leave, I don't know. I smush them, I don't give a... I used to drown them in alcohol, too. I had to put alcohol in a spray bottle and I would just...

Oh, yeah. Ping them. We use bleach behind the thing just to make sure. And we haven't had them at all, but this summer, we've seen a couple. And the other night, there was a fucking fatty daddy before I got home. And my girl's like, I killed it,

but it went under the rug and I smushed it. Dude, I get down on all fours. I just got home, fucking barely see. I pulled back that rug and this motherfucker is fucking waiting for me. Not you, dude, not dead at all. Fucking runs out, what the fuck? Fucking trying to kill it, the cat's fucking running around.

Those things are fucking scary. They're big, dude, they're big. One thing I'm not scared of at all is spiders. I showered with one yesterday. I was one in my shower in the basement, I just left them. I don't want to kill them. I like what they do. No, you're not supposed to kill them.

I never kill a spider. Yeah, they kill other insects. They got none of them. Yeah, when they bite me, I don't care. I just don't have a fear of spiders. I got weird other fears, but not spiders. I showered with one the other night. It was up there.

I was looking at him the whole time. Bad I get if it's not encroaching on like, if you're not on the couch and it drops down in front of you. Is he big? He was sizable. I mean, if it bit your daughter, that could be an issue. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. That's the only thing, but they do. They keep all those little bugs away. They keep them away. Yeah. Yeah, keep them away. You just don't want too many of them. Yeah, they start mating.

Yeah. That's a hangout for them. No way, Jose. I'm not that scared of spiders. Daddy long legs. They scare the shit out of me. Yeah, but they're the most. They're nothing.

They do nothing. I know, but they're so scary. They don't even have like a mouth right there. You can barely see them. It looks like Tim Burton made them. I don't like that shit. Dude, I don't fuck with that fucking Daddy long legs. I don't like the praying mantises.

Those things just look. Really? Yeah. They'll fuck you up. They'll fuck you up too. They bite. Yeah. Don't they leap too?

Yeah, they leap. I feel like you're sitting there looking and you're like, oh, come over. Next thing you know, it's on your fucking grill. But it's illegal to kill them. You can't kill them. Yeah. Okay.

Federal law. Send you up to river. Detective shows up at your door. Knock on the door. Yeah, I just made me do it. I swear. It starts swiping for fingerprints. 15 hands.

Yeah, it's an easy crime to get away with. Yeah. Who's like, unless somebody's got a flip on you real quick. Your wife's got a flip on you. What are you gonna tell us today, tough guy? You got something? Yeah, yeah, I just killed him, man. I had my wife fucking deported.

Fucking turned me in. All right, this was from William, first-time caller, long-time listener. Have you ever owned an FBI shirt, female body inspector? Did you get caught up in that shit as a kid? What about, what's it, the big dick? What's it called?

Big Johnson? Yeah, none of that. None of that. I got none of those. You win them at a state fair shirt. No? I have one, boardwalk, man. Yeah, those are Jersey Shore shirts right there.

Don't have any of those. Anything airbrushed over at the house? You got a jean jacket, says Yanni on the back, little sunset? He's somebody. No airbrushing, man, no air, no airbrushing. Dude, the airbrush t-shirt, I don't know. It's the worst quality of anything ever.

Yeah, yeah. I tell you what, a nice faded jean jacket with a nice airbrushing on the back, though, I can see that coming back. Yeah, well, it's ironic. I couldn't pull it off. It's ironic that it's- Bieber could wear that.

There's only one option, right? You have an airbrush shirt like that, you don't have a BA. If you have a shirt like that, you don't have a BA. You have a BA or you have a shirt like that. Airbrush is a tough. Yeah, it doesn't come with a degree. No, no.

Oh, that's what you're talking about. I didn't want to sense that. And he also doesn't have one. Look at him, that's airbrushed. A bachelor of arts? Yeah, yeah, bachelor of arts. Is that what regular degrees are called? What if he didn't study arts?

Then you get a BS or a- Bachelor of Science. Bachelor of Science. Nice, what do you have? I got a fucking BA. It's good for a high school diploma. Kippy, what do you got? Yeah, I have a BA in business.

A BA, what about you, T-Bone? I got a booming independent business with you guys. I am an independent contractor. No student debt over here, kick rocks, Dickhead. The BA really is worthless. Gotta get your master's. What are you doing? It's a real, like, it really is just,

it's like a high school diploma again. Would you ever go back to school just for yourself? Would you ever take a master's program or anything like that? Never, never. What if you could live on campus? I'd become a squeegee guy before I went back to fucking school. I hated school. Would you ever teach comedy?

Would you ever teach comedy? Close to it now. I got my wife making the signs right now. It's all signs of this guy. I'm looking at, I'm looking at spaces here in Tootsies. I give you the attic. Yeah, I'm like, yeah, let me see if I can get a space. So if they said, hey, you can get your master's for free

at like Florida State, but you gotta live there on campus. In a dorm. In a dorm? Now you get your own apartment. Yeah, I can't be a creepy guy on, creepy old guy on campus, getting his thing back to school.

Bring it out of the mixers. Yeah, you can't. No, I think at this point it's sick or swim, right? You can't go back to school, no. A lot of people do it just, you know, just for the further education. Yeah, not me. Not me, no.

I hated it too. No, no. I barely got my degree. You know, like school now should be for like, if you're becoming a doctor or an engineer, or you're getting into like tech stuff. Sure. Other than that, you just Google it.

Yeah. Just Google it. YouTube. Yeah, YouTube or Google it, you know, or just get the book and read yourself, like Good Will Hunting said, you know? There's two things. You don't do that.

And the second thing, you spend a hundred grand on education. You could have gotten $1.50 late fees on the library. How do you like them apples? How do you like them apples? Do you read? Do I read? Yeah.

Like, is there a book that you're reading right now? Yeah, I'm reading right now. Really? Yeah. You read it before you go to bed? Sometimes. Yeah, on the Kindle. I'm a Kindle guy.

I don't like having the book. What book are you reading? Right now, I never read 48 Laws of Power, so I'm reading 48 Laws of Power. Kind of kill cicada killers. Yeah. 48 Laws of Power is a really interesting book. I've never read it.

It's like, it's so popular. Like, it sold so many copies. You read it, and this guy's like, teaching you how to be a psychopath. It's hilarious. Why is there so many bozos out there? It's so popular. That's what I wanted to know.

The secret, what are we talking about here? Yeah, it's like, the secret and 48 Laws of Power, I think it's because America is like a looting. We're all here to loot. Our parents came here to loot. We don't share any common culture or anything. Every immigrant came here to loot. Just got what they can.

Yes, you're just trying to get- Get the bag and send it home. Secrets like, how do you get rich? And 48 Laws of Power is like, how do you control people? Everyone's here to just fucking loot. And like, it's like a casino. Everyone's trying to fucking hit that lot all the time. That's patreon.com, folks.

All the bonus content you designed. All right, let's do two more. This is from Chuck Berrydinger. Shout out. You or anyone in your family say, Mac Donalds. Mac Donalds. M-A-C-K Donalds. Mac Donalds.

Going to Mac Donalds. Mac Donalds. I'm more of a black thing. I'm going to Mac Donalds. Okay. Yeah, I've had black friends who've been like, go to Mac Donalds. Y'all go to Mac Donalds.

Or like a redneck thing, right? Y'all going to Mac Donalds. Mac Donalds. I feel it's probably a little Southern influence. Mac Donalds, a little bit of a girl. I think the city we called it Mickey D's. Mickey D's. Mickey D's.

Shout out to it. We also used to call it like- What a perfect little nickname. Mickey D's. How great. The guy, the founder, right? You saw that movie? Of course. Love that fucking movie.

He knew it was all about that name. Some guys are so good at the marketing thing. He's like, I need that name. Donald. He played like such a- I watch that all the time. Such a good and hating, like hateful character. Like you hated that guy when it was great.

It was awesome. Yeah. When he tells his wife he wants a divorce, this fucking. He just does it so perfectly. Just real quiet. He's eating his carrots. He knows he's gotten to a certain point, but there's no going back and fucking,

she can't do anything. Oh, it's over. Yeah. All for that fucking home wrecker. Paranoil milkshakes. All right, let's see. This is from Colleen. First time, long time.

Have you ever sold a product that required a demonstration? From Colleen? You got a 60 year old listener? That's not, you look at the registry, that one's not a hot ticket. Colleen said what? I think I heard Colleen and then just started trashin' her. Wait, hold on.

You're saying, have you ever sold? Yeah. Have you ever sold, or I guess we're bought for conversation purposes, a product that required a demonstration? Like I used to, I sold, I did sell. These are good questions. Cause they're always shitty product, like the cut go knives or, yeah.

I did like a, like a knock off soda stream. Yeah. I sold new bank accounts to incoming students as one of my jobs at college. That kind of came with a pseudo demonstration. Where it was at the bank? At the bank. Or were you like all on campus?

At the bank on campus. Step right up, step right in. Step right up a little. How it works, debit cards, all that with new kids to get them to sign up. I don't know, was there anything you were given away? A lot of times it would be like a t-shirt. Yeah.

A free t-shirt. A t-shirt, a little key chain, and guess what? What was the bank? Cozy for the cop. There you go. Cozy for the cop. What was the bank? It was called Industrial Bank of Washington.

Yeah. So I don't know if it's still there. Sounds like a union. Yeah. Yeah. What was that? I don't think it was one of the big boys. But it might have, I don't know.

Is Industrial Bank of Washington a big, who knows? I don't know. Industrial Bank of Washington arena. For the mudhands play. Yeah, it's where kids play hockey. Sounds like a shell company. Yeah. No shit.

It was just you. It was just me out there. Yeah. I mean, the bank was like, it was like. Why is the address the dorm room? Welcome to the Industrial Bank of Washington. I just came out with a written name tag. Giannis Pavlis.

President and CEO. And also junior sales executive. Those lollipops are free. Give it back. Oh, and there was lollipops. Yeah. There was lollipops. You get a sucker to do anything with a couple of dum-dums.

I'll tell you that right now. It was lollipops. I'll sign it for Scientology if they got a couple of root-beard dum-dums. I'm in. Yeah. Oh, there was a ray of stuff. Now I remember there was a button too.

It was a button. OK. I had a lot of goodies to work with, yeah. You only broke them out if you had someone on the line. That wasn't going to sign. Listen, I'm not supposed to do this, but. I can throw in his bin here. I like them out.

I don't do this for a coin person. Don't do this for everybody. All right, you do the savings account too? Yeah. I'll throw in the magnet. All right, you're a good kid. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Giannis Pavlis, hosting a long day special out right now called Mom Love.

Do yourself a favor, Gianni, anything you want the folks out there to know. Yes. All the way, dates, website, anything. Yeah. I will be Uncle Vinnie's in Point Plans in New Jersey, September 9th and 10th. So get tickets for that.

We're working on a whole new hour of comedy. Please do watch the special Mom Love. Drop some comments too. Get that algorithm cookie. Tell them AYG sent you. Yeah. Please do. Share it with your friends.

It seems to be well received. I think you'll enjoy it. 100%. Fantastic. Buddy, we love you. Appreciate it. Thank you so much for coming in. Kip, what do we got for him?

Again, our road shows. Tickets are really starting to fucking cook. Get them tickets before it's too late. Thanks for the support. We love yous. We love you, and we'll see you next week.