Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard - Armchair Anonymous: Underdogs

Episode Date: January 26, 2024

Dax and Monica talk to Armcherries! In today's episode, Armcherries tell us their greatest underdog story. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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name of this show, Armchair Anonymous. It's not Armchair Expert. No, it's not. No. Don't get it twisted. No. I had been on such a good roll. It's been a long time since I butchered that. It has. Yeah. Good job. Today is a story about underdogs. Some people call me underdog, but I prefer Hermium Permium because that's my God-given name.

Bestowed upon me by my great-great-granddad and his great-grandfather before him. Did you know that, Mrs. Monica, that I'm the 12th Hermium Permium? I didn't know that, but I'm not surprised. Good news. There's a new friend. My friend Boris Butchman's here. Hi, Boris. Yes.

Sometimes Boris Butchman comes over to sit with Hermium Permium. It's me, Prairie Sooner. Oh, yes. It also goes by Prairie Sooner. I forgot. Either Boris Butchman or Prairie Sooner. How long yes. It also goes by Prairie Sooner. I forgot. Either Boris Butchman or Prairie Sooner. How long have you two known each other?

Since I was born. We were born in the same hospital. At the same time? At nearly the same time. I do believe that Prairie Sooner came just about 20 minutes before Hermione Permian. And we both know how to drive cars. That's right. He has his own vehicle and I do too.

Oh. Has Prairie met the robot? Because it seems like you guys are all hanging out. That's a great question. I'm not going to steal that from you. Prairie, have you met someone? The robot is always in my dreams. But I never met him.

Oh. I'll have to have you guys both over. Sometimes I do make a casserole. It's just too much for me. And as you know, the robot doesn't eat, even though he is a real boy. I like casserole with biscuits. Wow, that was so great. Both Prairie and Hermium are underdogs, so this is great.

Yeah, and Hermium is really an offshoot of Prairie. Erin and I were on a road trip to Texas in 12th grade over Christmas. Oh, Prairie's old? I thought maybe you just made him up. Oh, no. We were following him. Prairie Schooner's been around for 30 years. Yeah, because we were on this road trip, and we were following someone pulling a camper trailer.

And it was called the Prairie Schooner. And we just started saying, Prairie Schooner. Prairie Schooner. And then Prairie Schooner became a person that evolved into a client we had at GM that kind of spoke like Prairie Schooner. I'll give you the safe name, Boris Butchman. And so it evolved into Borisis butchman and boris is originally from colorado new mexico arizona usa oh same as her and he works for pontiac oldsmobile chevrolet usa he also works for a confusing car company oh wow okay and we used to imagine he would call my mom in the hotel room on car

show days and go, Laura, it's Boris. I can't get out of the tub. Do you think you can handle this one without me? Laura, I'm sad today. Too sad to go in. Okay. Underdogs. That's what we're here to talk about. Armchair Anonymous. Oh my God, we have our best story we've ever heard on this episode. I know, it's really incredible. Absolutely outrageous story. Yeah. And zero warnings on this one. No, zero warnings.

You gotta listen. It's as clean as you would expect from an underdog prom. Yeah. So please enjoy Underdogs. Hard times come and go. Good times take them slow. Underdogs. Yay. Underdog. Tell us your biggest underwear story.

The biggest pair you've ever seen. Panky Panky. Can you remember the biggest pair of underwear you've ever seen? Oh, God. Grandmothers or grandfathers. I feel like I have an image of a huge pair, but who would it be? And they're women's. No, mine are whitey tighty.

Oh. Hello. Hi, I can hear you guys. Yay. Oh, sorry. What's that? I've been sitting here. Yay! Oh, sorry. What's that? I've been sitting here. I was like, make sure I know what I'm doing.

No, you know, and the best part is it gave me enough time because my initial thought when I saw all those tanks was acetylene tanks and I thought you guys were welders. But now I see this kind of old-fashioned diving helmet. So now I think we're in a scuba environment. Correct. Scuba environment. Hold on. I'm just yelling at my wife for opening the garage door.

Perfect. And I love all the colors. Do the colors designate different types or something no these are old tanks that don't work anymore my husband does a scuba radio podcast so this is his studio room and so i made sure he set up everything a scuba radio podcast what is scuba podcast oh okay okay okay okay are you a scuba diver? I am. Yes, you are. And where are you guys at? Do you have local access? Central Florida. I have to be a little vague of where I am. Okay, great. Did you guys meet scuba diving? We did. Yeah. He owned a dive shop and I was up in Canada and it's not the meet cute stories, but he was a diver and owned a

dive shop and he was looking for a manager at the time. And I was in Canada, where I'm initially from. So now he sold the shop. He doesn't have any more. He does the Scuba Diving Podcast. What's the name of it in case people in the audience are interested in Scuba Diving Podcast? The Scuba Diving Podcast with Sweetwater Scuba. Very literal. Wow, he got in on the ground floor.

That's a hard name to get. Yes, for sure. Yeah, very impressed. Katie, you have an underdog story. Hard for me to believe just looking at you. I feel like probably a champion from the jump. Thank you. I appreciate that.

Well, much like you, Dax, I'm very dyslexic. Oh, okay. Congratulations. I was like, I'm going to write this story. And when they picked it, I was very surprised. I was like, that must have been the most incoherent essay I've ever written. And I haven't been in school in a long time. So I was like, all right, you know what? They're taking it and running with it. I was diagnosed

very late in life. I always knew I had some learning disability, but it wasn't until my last year of high school in 2009. I got tested and I was like, oh, this is making more sense. High school was hard. My last few years, I had teachers who were like, you should be in special ed. Why are you here? Very nice people, you know, all that. Being in Canada, I had teachers who were like, you should be in special ed. Why are you here? Very nice people, you know, all that. Being in Canada, I did French and English. So English is hard. Add French to that.

Oh, my God. What a terrible place to be born as a dyslexic where you have to be dual language. I barely could get through the first one. Right. I had French teachers are like, this isn't hard. And I was like, oh, my God. Like, that's not helpful. So leaving high school, I had to go to university looking at a lot of things. I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. I love animals, but you have to do a lot of math science. I don't have your

dyslexia. Your math is very impressive, Dax. Oh my gosh. Thank you so much for noticing. I was like, that's not the same. It's like he doesn't have dyslexia at all. it's like he doesn't have dyslexia at all so i couldn't get into these schools for at the time i thought veterinarians was the only option to work with animals so i did what any dyslexic does and went to art school okay that's what i can do so i did that for two and a half years after those two years i did what any early 20 year old does and does traveling and that's where i fell in love with scuba diving when i went back home i got my dive master and then went to Florida. And I was like, you know what? I want to do something different. So I went there, got my instructor and started teaching scuba diving. Oh, wow. Okay. I love doing that, but it was looking for something a little different.

And I fell upon a large aquarium in Florida that I started working at as a safety for the guests that come into the aquarium and they can scuba dive there. Oh, wow. So people can dive with big fish and stuff in this tank? Exactly. Oh my God, it must be enormous. Yeah, it's the second largest. Holy smokes. I could see where people would underestimate it and think it's deceptively safe. Most motorcyclists have career-ending injuries on little tiny motorcycles they're riding in the backyard. They're like, yeah like yeah i'm not gonna get hurt on this oh absolutely and as long as you're scuba certified you can dive in the aquarium which is also really unsafe because

someone could have been certified 15 plus years ago they have not dived since oh god is there any chance that you heard any of the episodes where i've explained when i went scuba diving because i think it must anger scuba people so much no i love that i actually was excited that you heard any of the episodes where i've explained when i went scuba diving because i think it must anger scuba people so much no i love that i actually was excited that you actually dive oh okay okay but i had zero training when i was in bora bora and one of the actors had their dive master with and he's like you'll be fine let's go zero training just went straight out scuba dope for like two hours that's scary i loved I loved it. But I always think like, oh, people that this is their world must hate that. And people, yeah.

And you. And me. Well, people who are scared, people who are Virgos, people who know people who had bad accidents. Uh-oh. Do you know someone

who went down with Scooby? I know someone who's died. Okay. So I'm just saying you got to be careful. You got it. It's a serious sport. It is. And that's why I really liked being an instructor.

I still teach when I can. It's really interesting to see people get really nervous and then once they get in their water, they're like, oh. Or if they're like, they're sharks, no, I'm not leaving you. And then they see it and they're like, okay, bye. And you have to bring them back a little bit. That is cool. And then fast forward two years into that,

COVID hit. So there's no is cool. And then fast forward two years into that COVID hit. So there's no more guests. And that's a big part of the job. They said, you know, two weeks will be okay. We still went into work. Obviously animals need to be taken care of. But then when they started realizing, okay, it's going to be a little bit more than two weeks and it kept going. I started making myself available to anybody. I was like, hello, I'm here. What do you need? I got you. So a few of the teams that lost their interns, they're like, absolutely, we need help. So the manatees, really easy animals. Throw lettuce at them.

They eat the lettuce. You count it. Not rocket science. I think of your wife, Daxlott, with her sloth obsession. That's my manatee. I was like, you know what? Put me there all day. Leave me there.

I love them. Oh, they're so sweet. Her ex-stepdad lives in one of those little islands on the west side of Florida, just above West Palm Beach. And if you go out there with a fresh garden hose and you just run the water, they'll come up and they just start gulping the water out of the hose. I'm going to cut you off. That's very illegal.

Okay. Wow. Two illegal things. Luckily for me, I'm not doing it actively right now. Yeah. It's in my past. Of the illegal things I've done in my life, that doesn't even chart. But boy, are they fucking cute.

They're like little, well, not little. They're enormous dogs. Yeah. They're like little potatoes. They're fantastic. Yeah. So yeah. So they're like, okay, just stand there, feed them all day.

That's your job. Throughout COVID, the more the area was shut down, like we still need your help. Can you help with this and this and this? And it built so much that by the time the parks were opening up again, they said, hey, do you want to stay and be on this team? So I became a marine mammal specialist. Oh my God, look at this. You wanted to go into veterinarian care. Look at this circuitous route. I love that. So wait, now you work with the team that handles the animals? I do, yeah. So my day is half working with dolphins and my other half working with manatees.

Oh my goodness. You got around that stupid dyslexia. Stupid, yeah. I hate to say it, but you know what we're going to ask. Oh Lord, we are. These dolphins ever try to get frisky with you? They're very famous for trying to do so. Not with us, but with each other, sure, all the time.

Okay. That's encouraged. They are sexual creatures. It's their body, their choice. It's all internal, but when it's not internal, it comes out. They like to expose themselves in front of guests, And I'm like, thank you for that. Thank you. Yeah, they're exhibitionists.

The dolphin penis is alarmingly large the first time you see it. Insane. Yeah. It's a couple feet. I mean, maybe not. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Wow. And it doesn't match the rest of the dolphin. So you really see it when it's out. What color? Is it a different color? It's pink. Yeah. It's usually tucked away.

When they let that freak flag fly, boy, it turns some heads. Perverted. I would love to go back to high school and tell those teachers like, yeah, I did something. Yes. Yeah, guess what? I get to do what a marine biologist does, maybe even better. And then with guests coming all the time, I feel horrible because I have these bright-eyed little teenagers like, oh, what did you just go to school for? I'm like, I'm an art student.

Yeah, yeah, what did you just go to school for? I'm like, I'm an art student. Yeah. For drawing. Do you have any crazy relationship with any of the dolphins that you feel is like weirdly connected, spiritual or like one in particular or anything? Sure. I mean, it's funny to see how they react to all of us trainers as far as I was one of the newer ones in and I'm the substitute teacher. So they can get away with doing things. Oh, wow. Versus the older trainers. It's like, okay, nope. This is what they want.

This is their criteria. So different personalities and older ones are, I've been at this for too long. Like I don't, and then the younger ones are wanting to please you. So they're very excited. They're vocalizing. They yell at me and they know I will hand fish. Oh my God, you're so cute. I'm a huge sucker.

Oh, they're so manipulative. Sure. Oh, yeah. It's insane. You're going to act all cute and it's going to work. One time I got that as my Patronus. I don't know what a Patronus is and I don't know what it is. On Harry Potter.

I got dolphin. Okay. So if you go to Pottermore website, in the books, you have like a protective animal. I know this. Yes. That's sort of like. Terrence, this is a wolf? No, a stag, just like a stag. Oh, a protective animal. I know this. Yes. That's sort of like. Terrence, is this a wolf? No, a stag, just like a stag.

Oh, a stag. Right, right. Sorry. And you can go on Pottermore and take the test. And you got a dolphin? I've done it a lot of times because I want to keep seeing. But one of them is a dolphin. Well, it's because you're a perv.

I would have felt flattered by that. Yeah. If I didn't get a dolphin, I would sue the website. Oh. I feel like, Monica, you need to make him do that test. Didn't you guys do that? Well, we did the regular. And it bit me because I started talking poorly about Hufflepuff.

People got upset. I'm a Hufflepuff. Oh, see, yeah. And you're great. I love Hufflepuffs. I forget what I said, but it really. Sorry to interrupt. No, don't worry about it.

It literally just opened again, period. You're sure no one has the remote, question mark? Am I sitting on it or something? This is insane. Could it be in the couch cushions? You're going to watch us do some housekeeping right now. Oh, it just did it again. What in the flying fuckballs?

It might be in here. And now a third time. This is honestly amazing. I feel like it might be in here But I don't No way Oh my god Opening the garage I didn't do that

Oh my god exclamation point Monica just found it buried in her lazy boy And was triggering it every time she moved Oh boy well that solves that well you saw a mystery resolved i love every minute of that wow that was actually really impressive that it activated that i know no we were interviewing someone yesterday and it opened and closed like seven times and i'm literally like i'm gonna go in and kill every member of my family how could they not know that you can't open and close the garage the whole time we're recording?

Oh my God, I'm glad you witnessed that. Well, I love your underdog story. Me too. Thanks for sharing it. Absolutely. I love that you guys do this. It's so fun. And it was an incoherent message.

So whoever had to read that, I appreciate that they picked it. Emma, our all-star. I'm way better at speaking. That was a part of my dyslexia test. They're like, your social is way high. That shouldn't be there. Yeah, do you find that you have a suspiciously good memory for oral stories? Yes.

I think it's because the only thing you're going to learn is what you memorized that the teacher said. If you don't get it there, you're not going to get it. Yeah, and I listen to so many podcasts now, and I just come home, and I'm like, let me tell you about this. Right. And you can just reiterate the whole thing. Yeah. Ask me to read something. No, gone. It's been funny in this, being in this field now, I'm in these rooms with these people who've gone to school for all this stuff. And I'm just like,

I'm having imposter syndrome. I don't know what you're talking about anymore. I'm very lucky to have management and people around me to put me into the right places. You did it. You got yourself there. It's really impressive. Yeah, we rule. Don't let anyone tell you differently. I totally agree. It's more fun.

Us and left-handers. I mean, they're also pretty special. I'm a left-hander too. Oh my God. Oh my God, Katie. We're meant to be together. I love it. If you guys are ever...

Believe me, now I'll have to stop by. I can do a little backstage. I can show you how big the aquarium is. I can show you where we do our rehab manatees. That's really cool to be a part of as well. We get to put some manatees back out into the wild. Well, when you're not looking, I'm going to feed them fresh water out of a garden hose. Perfect. Excellent. All right. Well, great meeting you. And scuba dive without any instructions. Just jump in. It's fine. I allow it. Well, Katie, great meeting you. And thank you for telling us that story.

Yeah, absolutely. It was so nice meeting you. All right. Take care. Well, it's always good to get more info on dolphins. So much happened in that interview. I mean, that whole garage thing was really something. Yeah, I'm glad we figured it out.

And I guess the previous episode will be an Easter egg. Hopefully, if you listen to all the shows in the week. What a resolution. It won't have come out yet. It won't? Uh-uh. Well, when you're listening to an upcoming February episode and you hear the garage door opening and closing nonstop and then hearing my voice tension with my anger towards my family, you'll know that it was our doing the whole time.

Okay, let's talk to Alexandra. How did it even get there? It probably slid out of my- It farted and it fell? No, it was probably in my shorty short pants i bet it was when i came up to talk to you and liz while i was working out and sat in that chair and it probably slid out of my pocket like two months ago y'all my god hello hi did you like that you caught us candid mid-conversation that was like the dream i was having about how this would be i

was like i bet they'll be chatting and I'll get to see them being friends. Which is like my favorite part of the whole podcast. What if when you signed down, we were putting our shirts back on? That would be nerve-wracking, wouldn't it? I would be like, I'm really glad they found a way to love each other. And I'm sure they all worked it out.

What are these cute mugs? Are they mugs? Those are shoes poking out of a shoe holder. These are shoes. I'm in my closet. This is the first time I've ever read all the directions on a thing in my whole life. Oh, congrats. Oh, man.

I appreciate it. No, congrats to you guys. Dax, happy belated birthday. Thank you. I'm very happy you were born. And Monica, I'm very sorry for your loss. I'm sure the earth feels pretty weird right now. So I'm just, I'm thinking of you. That's so kind. Thank you. Of course. Can we pause for two

seconds? Can you look at it and see it as mugs? I can see how you see it. Do you? Okay. I appreciate that. I would need three or four grams of mushrooms, I think, to see mugs there. Really? Okay. All right. It's like a magic eye. Okay. We must hear your underdog story. I'm ready to dive in. So this one takes place in southeastern Connecticut, which is near Monday's interview, Paul Giamatti. Where he's from. Yes. I got to see him in Hamlet actually when I was in high school. What? And I didn't realize what an amazing opportunity that was. And now I'm like, what the fuck? You saw Paul Giamatti as Hamlet?

Yeah. Incredible. I'll have to do some back work now to convince you that I was an underdog. I'm going to give you guys a little bit of context because I feel like it's really generous to call myself an underdog because ultimately in the wider context of the world, I've had an amazing life. Like I have wonderful parents, great opportunities. But in this specific context, I felt like maybe I was a little bit of an underdog. So my parents had me when they were 17 and they stayed together, which was pretty amazing. And they went on to have three more much younger children than me

who all have progressively improved with each model. They crushed it. They worked really hard to give us an awesome life. And I've always really struggled with my mental health. I'm pretty sure like I came out of the womb just like, there's something fucking going on with this place. Just so anxious. I got diagnosed with ADHD or not ADHD. That was recent. I got diagnosed with OCD in third grade. I had a lot going on. And then I switched elementary schools. Then I went to a charter school for middle school, which I also loved middle school. Then I went to a charter school for middle school, which I also loved middle school. Then I went back to the local public school, which was a different experience. I hadn't seen a lot of these people since I've switched schools. Some boys in one of my classes

bullied me. So I ended up deciding that maybe I should switch schools because I just am really struggling in this context. And I got to go to a local private school, literally because the guidance counselor liked my personality. I buy that. Yeah, me too. Oh, wow. Thank you. That's so helpful of you to say.

When you were diagnosed in third grade with OCD, is it because you had a tremendous amount of tics like I did? I had a lot of really weird routines and habits and fears. So my hands would be like bloody because I'd wash them so much. Monica, on sync, you talked about it, making up these like superstitions in your head. Always, like for my whole life, I had like a great fear of my dad getting in a car accident, even though no one I'd ever known had gotten in a car accident. It was tough. It's all consuming.

Yes. That's like all I did is monitor whether I was doing things even or odd numbers of times. I couldn't think about anything else. I still count. I'm an odd number kind of girl. Oh, freaky. It's weird for most things. Anyways, they did whatever they could to like scrape together scholarships so that I could go.

But it was still like a really big financial stretch for my parents. So I started the school my sophomore year and there was 50 kids in my graduating class. Many of them had been in school together since kindergarten. And I think what came to be pretty obvious very quickly was that my life experience was very different than theirs. Like I wasn't going on class trips. The opportunity for me was going to the school, whereas their opportunities were like the whole wide world. Yeah. The teachers were amazing. It was a very good school and had an awesome theater program, which is kind of my wheelhouse. So I only found a group through doing theater, which is pretty common, I think. Yeah. And then the spring

of my junior year, they announced that the musical was going to be Chicago. I'd been hoping for Les Miserables because playing Eponine was like my life dream. I wasn't going to go Chicago. I'd been hoping for Les Miserables because playing Eponine was like my life dream. I wasn't going to go to college for theater or anything. So I was like, okay, this is my chance. I decided that I was going to audition for Roxy. For the lay person, i.e. me, is that the lead? That's one of the two leads. So there's two female leads. There's Velma and then there's Roxy. Is Roxy loose? Because that's a fun name, Roxy. She is loose. She's kind of like naughty.

And she's not a very good person. So I thought it would kind of be fun. Yeah, she's a very fun character to play. And I love her songs. And she had fewer songs. So I was like, perfect. This will be the less competitive role. So cut to the summer.

I got this great boyfriend who kind of like walked the line of the theater kids and the really popular rich kids. Wow. He was like tall and handsome. You can imagine how it went, though. It was a high school relationship. So it wasn't great, but he was really in the theater. So we spent all summer learning all the songs. He was auditioning for the lawyer, Billy Flynn.

And he and Roxy has a song where she sits on his lap and is like a puppet. Oh, my God. He must have loved that. Yeah. We choreographed it over the summer. Auditions have not happened. Right. You guys are just working all summer on this.

We're prepared. I do the audition. I put literally my all into it. Like I got into costume. And I'm sure you guys are picking up on what is going to happen. I didn't get cast as Roxy, which is fine. This happens. But it's sad. Compounding is now her boyfriend's going to have another gal on his lap. Yeah, because he got it, obviously,

because he's handsome and one of the three boys that auditioned. The only three boys that weren't afraid. At the time, it was so devastating and it kind of like catapulted me into my first of many depressive episodes, which was like a fun, whole new experience for senior year. And the girl who did get cast, the worst part was that she is a wonderful person. That's the worst when you can't hate them. Yeah. She's like so beautiful and she's Scandinavian, which is cool. And like all the guys liked her because she was so innocent.

They wanted to corrupt her. Oh, sexy baby syndrome. And the theater director, we're going to call her Miss B. She had favorites. Are you using B because you want us to think bitch? Be honest. Miss C. Oh, okay.

What? I don't know what you thought of. I thought of Miss Christmas. Uh-huh, sure. I thought of the other C word because I studied abroad in New Zealand and that's their favorite word. Oh, yeah, yeah. It means nothing elsewhere word. Oh yeah. It means nothing else. I love when I travel and I get to throw it around. Me too. I tried to get into improv one time when I got back to the States and it didn't go super well. So she had favorites. I wasn't one of them. I think she didn't really

like my personality in general. Like I have a pretty big personality. Is it fair to say you're going to love it or hate it? There's no one's going to be neutral on it. Exactly. It comes out that a local community theater is doing Les Miserables and I'm like, you know what? Let's audition. Like this is one more chance. So I decide a little bit out of spite to run my audition by Miss B before I go do it to try and get some feedback to make it seem like I was evolved. But I really also just wanted her to see like, hey, I'm really actually okay. Yeah. My dream role was Eponine, who is one of the more like romantic leads.

She falls in love and she doesn't get it and she dies. So it's like a fun thing. I thought you were horny in high school. Is that fair to say? I love boys and I still do. Yeah. I feel like we're really similar. I do the audition for her. She's like, yeah, good. It was great. And then I do the audition

for the community theater. I don't get cast. And then a few weeks later, I am in Miss B's acting class during the day, and me and two other girls are running a scene in the hallway. And Miss B has given us these clipboards and I got a clipboard that happens to open and I am just like messing with it and I open it inside the clipboard are notes from the Chicago auditions like close it really fast and I'm like guys we can't look at these right and they're like yeah no we can't and then we all kind of collectively decide that we are going to look at them because me and one of the other girls did not get the roles we auditioned for. We got much smaller roles in Chicago. We were the jail girls.

So I was going to like get hung as the Hungarian girl. So fun. We do this and then we all take a vow of silence. We read the audition notes. We find out why we did or did not get our roles. This could be wonderful. Or horrible. Look, no one wants to hear the truth, but sometimes it can be really helpful to hear the truth. That's a side conversation. We'll earmark that.

Mine actually didn't provide any clarity. They said it was too much likeness to Renee Zellweger in the movie. And I was like, that is the most insane thing you could possibly say. Also flattering. So flattering, but definitely inaccurate. But a few weeks later, it is finals week and I'm doing a final in the classroom that's right outside of her office with this other girl that also didn't get one of the roles that I had looked at the notes with. And we get called into Miss B's office. And I'm like, oh my God, the third girl snitched.

Three can keep a secret if two are dead. That's what they say. Exactly. So she has a sit down on And I'm like, oh my God, the third girl snitched. Oh, yoy, yoy, yoy. Three can keep a secret if two are dead. That's what they say. So she has us sit down on the couch and then she hands us each two pieces of paper stapled together. And I'm like, is there a paper trail of our indiscretion? Is she showing us the notes from the auditions to see if we recognize them and see our reaction? So I then proceed to read and it's the draft of an email that she's printed and the first page says that we have lost the rights to chicago and we will not be doing chicago okay so i look at her and i'm like what does this mean and she goes turn the page and then i turn

the page and it says that we are going to do lame as robables instead. No. This is so exciting. You're so excited. I'm so excited too. I'm so happy for you. The cast list is like underneath it. Sure enough, my name is next to Eponine's name. Oh, you got your dream role. I love this.

So now she's Mrs. G. Yeah. She's Mrs. B for best. Okay, B for she's Mrs. G. Yeah. Yeah. She's Mrs. B for best. Okay, B for buddy. Mrs. Buddy. She called us in because we both had minor roles that were then bumped up to lead roles. And she was like, don't fuck it up, basically. And I was like, I won't.

And I have literally never taken anything more seriously in my life. Like, I worked so hard at it. And it ended up being so rewarding and fulfilling. That's wonderful. What a turn of events. This is a great, great story, but also I have been practicing impulse control for the last nine minutes because I did the math. So if you moved to the new school, you were in 10th grade and you said at the time you had an eight-year-old sibling, that means the eight-year-old was born when you were in second grade which to me means your OCD in third grade was a direct result of that oh I don't think anyone

in the whole world has put that together because you know it was explained to me like I had all these ticks and then later in life and I think I've told the story, I met a gal who had a form of OCD where she'd pull her eyelashes out. And then she said to me, well, you know why you have that? And I said, no. And she said, because you're trying to control a situation when your environment becomes very uncontrollable and uncomfortable and distasteful for you. And so I'm thinking here, you had been an only child for seven years.

With teen parents who gave me so much attention yes and then this new creature arrives and they have to care for her and love her your whole world changed yeah and now you start trying to control bizarre things because everything got upended you really are an armchair expert that was really good i think only other inciting event was that they taught us about hiv in third grade which is like really not developmentally appropriate for a third grader you're not fucking for quite some time or shooting dope no but they made it seem like we'll just get it i was like afraid to touch surfaces yes i can only feel so bad for you guys because when i was that age

they showed us the day after which is what would happen after nuclear holocaust because we were at the height of the Cold War, the nuclear scare. Also great info for a second grader. Yeah. Yeah. They need to be more careful about what they show children. Curriculums. And like, I still feel like calling myself an underdog is so generous, but like it wasn't an easy situation I was walking into. This isn't a you're an underdog in life throughout life. These are individual stories with individual outcomes. Well articulated. Well, not well articulated at all, but that's okay. I feel like you just made fun of me and now I'm an underdog. In that vein, I just want to say you guys started the podcast the year I started teaching. I had a commute that was an hour each way and you guys were there for each hour.

And I've still continued to like struggle a lot with my mental health. You guys have been there my whole formative adulthood years. No. That made me feel less crazy and made me like myself more. And I'm just very grateful for you guys. I'm such a huge fan. Thank you, Alex. You call that old boyfriend. Yeah. Yeah.

You call him and you tell him, eat my shorts, Mike. That's right. Yeah, I will. I'll tell him you said that specifically. And I'll meet him at Arby's if he wants. Oh boy. I'll send him your way. But shout out to my mom and dad. They're going to listen. And my wonderful pair is in my classroom, Jen and Dana. You guys are amazing. I'm just like very grateful for everything. So thank you guys. Well, it's been a delight meeting you. And I loved your story. Thank you, Dax and Monica.

It's so good to meet you. Bye-bye. I just discovered. You have a bump? Maybe. I don't know if it's cancer or a pimple. Better pop it and see if it's cancer. Let me see it.

I know what's cancer. It's right on the cherry that's in the mouth see it's raised well it was meaning to update you on this you know i had a cyst well i had like three cyst pimples recently oh you did and i got into one with a needle on friday which you're never supposed to do but it worked out it did yeah i made it way way smaller and all the tension went away and i got like weird stuff out. Did you put any like salicylic in there after you used the needle on it? No, I should have probably. But I was delighted.

It never goes right. It's like I poke a hole in it and I'm pushing, nothing comes out. And this is bigger. This one actually, this is the one in 20 that worked. Congrats, it was your birthday. I've been thinking about telling you that for a long time now. I appreciate it. The facialist will go in with a needle.

But it's like she has to do it. She knows how to do it. I got to start seeing her. I really liked Alex. Me too. I love that she loves boys. I love people that love boys. I know you do.

Sasha hated sand, the way it stuck to things for weeks. So when Maddie shared a surf trip on Expedia Trip Planner, he hesitated. Then he added a hotel with a cliffside pool to the plan. And they both spent the week in the water. You were made to follow your whims. We were made to help find a place on the beach with a pool and a waterfall and a soaking tub and, of course, a great shower. Expedia.

Made to travel. Hello. Hello. Hi. How are you? Is this Alana? Well, kind of. It's Alayna.

Oh, Alayna. In your defense, it's kind of spelled wrong. No, it's not. I would say no, it's spelled correctly, but generally people that have it spelled this way would still say Alana, which is frustrating. The English language, it's flawed. And Alayna of Avedor. Avedor?

Wait, Arendale? What is it? Alayna of Avedor. No. Oh, you're thinking of E-L-E-N-A. Elena of... Oh, geez. Avalar?

Something. Of the Disney movie. Yes. I know where you're going. I made it worse and I blew it. I'm sorry. Elena, where are you at in the country? I'm in Winter Park, Colorado right now, but I reside in Reno, Nevada.

I have to follow up by saying that my husband runs a nonprofit in California and that's why we live in Reno. Okay. And I'm going to follow that up with saying that your brow game is on point. It is really nice. And your highlights are effortless and elegant. Wow. These are not compliments I was expecting for that. What did you think I was going to say? I didn't even know you understood eyebrows and hair like that. You know I know eyebrows. I know, but not like. Hair might be a revelation, but.

But not like how perfect they are. Right. I can't tell you how much that means to me right now. You know, I hate to. Uh-oh. I know. Yep. What am I going to say?

It's hard to think that you'll be an underdog because you're so beautiful boom thanks for saying it for me but we all know being hot doesn't get you out of anything i know you know that us humans man we are left to the devices of this world so i will kick it off and i'm gonna let monica know this is gonna be a little bit of a roller coaster there's gonna be some highs and lows oh boy but i'm trying to live at know this is going to be a little bit of a roller coaster. There's going to be some highs and lows. Oh, boy. But I'm trying to live at six and a half now. Do you think you're going to get any screams out of Monty, who also has great eyebrows?

Thank you. But not right now. Don't look at him. They're snatched. Thank you. I think there might be a moment where you're like, I hate that. Okay. I like the prep.

Okay. So I have to give you a little bit of background because my birth origin story has something to do with it. So I was the third of four born to a waitress and a coal miner, which doesn't start off strong, but I have as much potential as any other person alive, right? Of course. Were you in Appalachia? Where is coal mining still happening? My dad was born and raised in Arkansas, but I was born in New Mexico, little town called Farmington in the northwest corner.

About nine months after I was born, my dad was hit and killed by a drunk driver on Christmas Eve. Oh, wow. Yes. So that's like my first ace point, right? Yeah. My mom did not handle it well. She was 24 at the time. Just had her third child.

We lived as best we could for about five years. My mom had moved us to Las Vegas, Nevada. And at the time, my grandparents came to visit. We were homeless living in a trailer. Oh, okay. Kind of the second ACE score, I would say. My grandparents moved in and decided that they would adopt me and my sister. Was mom having some addiction issues at this point?

Drugs and alcohol were at play. So you probably have four. I mean, it seems like you have 10, honestly, already. I don't remember my childhood, so I know it was like all kinds of traumatic. So my mom did end up with a mental illness that started around that time. So it was so hard and I don't have any resentment towards her at all. It's just the hand that she was dealt. She was playing it the best she could. So my grandparents, they came in and they really gave me this incredible second chance at life. And my brother stayed with my mom, which is a totally different story and also kind of traumatic. But best thing that my grandparents did for me was they introduced me to sports at a young age. They got me into t-ball at five. A jock was born, sporty spice,

came into the room and started to just go ham on little guy t-ball. I'm like, first base, second base, third base, point, let's go. It made a lot of sense to me. And then I picked up volleyball and basketball. I played hoping it was like my ticket out of my small town. Was actually being actively recruited my senior year in high school by LSU, which I know SEC stuff comes into play. So I'm on fire. Totally looking back, I can see how I had some red flags going,

like risk-taking behavior, over-drinking at parties. The ACE scores are playing as well. They show up whether you like it or not. Sports was really what kept me on track, though. That was like my saving grace. So the turning point comes my senior year in high school. It was actually November 19th of 2000 when we had just gotten a ton of snowfall, like five foot. And I mentioned I'm from Northern Mexico, which is about 40 minutes from Durango, Colorado. I was going to say that. And then I knew Monica would be like, shut up with

the geography. My first thought was Durango. I think you would fly into Durango to go to your place probably. Exactly. Which is also then an hour from Telluride-ish. Here we go. That's why we started. Okay. Yeah. That's like the nearest ski resort. And also the back country stuff is really fun out there. And so the night before November 19th of 2000, me and a bunch of my friends decided we wanted to go out snowboarding in the back country. It was well before the resorts opened. For anybody that's a skier, they know it's pretty early in the season. We go out, everybody's really hyped up. We had been talking about doing backflips all summer long. And I knew that I wanted to try my first

backflip on a snowboard, the first chance I got really. So I could do a backflip on a trampoline with my snowboard attached. I did flat ground backflips all the time. I was like low-key obsessed with it. So November 19th comes, we go out into the back country. Everybody's having a really great day. The snow is awesome, but there wasn't really a base to speak of. Yeah, so rocks are exposed. Oh my. Exactly.

Yeah. I know, Monty, I know. So I'm up on the top of this hill. We had built this jump and we had been hitting it all day. And as I'm standing on the top of that jump, very impulsively, I look over at my friend JC and I say, hey, I'm going to try that backflip. And before he could say a word,

I'm sliding down that hill and I'm thinking to myself, the last thing I want to do is under rotate this. So as I approach the jump, I throw my feet as hard as I can. And as I finished the first flip and I go for the second, I know it's all going south. I did a one and a half back flip landed directly on my back on the snow. And what I later learned was a four foot boulder. And so I broke my back in three places and was paralyzed upon impact. And it wasn't that painful. It was so shocking, like electrifying. The sound was like this big electrical sprung. And then it kind of left my body in a wave down to my toes. My buddy JC

runs over, asks me what's going on. And I said, I don't have any idea where my board and my boots. And he said with fear in his eyes that they were on my feet. I knew something was terribly wrong, but there'd be like no way I can understand. I was paralyzed upon impact. So, you know, I lay on the snow for about an hour and a half. This is back in 2000. We don't have cell phones. Our friends are freaking out, running to go get help. About an hour and a half later, the helicopter lands. I get airlifted out, taken to the hospital, undergo about an eight-hour back reconstruction surgery. I blew out T11. It was shattered. And so those bones flew through my spinal cord. Yeah. I'm an incomplete T12 injury,

which means I was able to get some function back and I'm an athlete. I can't be paralyzed. That's like putting a bird in a cage. Like that's my thing. Yeah. Yeah. It's your identity. The long and short of it is the doctor came in, told me what a spinal cord injury was, told me it was the only organ in your whole body that doesn't regenerate after you injure it. And that whatever I get back in the following two years is what I would probably have for the rest of my life. So in my 17 year old head, I'm like, let's go rehab. It is, I'm going to figure this out. And this doctor doesn't know how strong and capable I am. All these things. I love my naive self for that. I love that my mind and body were connected. And I really believed that I was going to walk again

and all these things. Well, two years come around and nothing's really changed. I've done all the work. I've dedicated my life to walking again. And that's when like the lowest point of my story is. And I'm just really in a place where I genuinely don't want to be here. Like I don't want to live this particular life anymore. And I call it a God moment and I'm not religious, but it was too soon. So I'm at my lowest place and I'm taking a shortcut through the auxiliary gym at the University of New Mexico where I ended up going. Really quick. at my lowest place and I'm taking a shortcut through the auxiliary gym at the university in New Mexico, where I ended up going really quick. Are you at a stage where you're using

a Walker or are you in a wheelchair at this point? I'm in a wheelchair. So when I was doing my rehab, I had long leg braces, very much like Forrest Gump style. Like those haven't changed a lot. So I was up on braces. I was standing and walking, but my brain and my body aren't connected anymore. The spinal cord is the information highway and it was not working. I went off to college at UNM. I was genuinely so disappointed. And I, low-key was so mad I couldn't wear high heels or flip-flops. course. I'm 18. It's hard. I'm taking the shortcut through the gym and I look up and I see this entire group of people playing wheelchair basketball. I didn't even know that there were other people my age that were in wheelchairs. I didn't see anybody on a daily basis, let alone did I see or know about adaptive sports. So I'm like timeout jaw dropping moment. I saw these people like crashing into each other, falling over, getting up, shooting three point stationary shots and thinking it. And I'm like, this is legitimately amazing. Everything changed that

day. That day I got into a basketball chair and for the first time in two years, I pushed really hard and I got my heart rate going and the endorphins were flowing and I'm sweating and I'm like, I'm running. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're flying down a court. I'm flying. And I'm looking over at these guys with no legs or that are paralyzed more than me. And I'm like, you guys are not excusing yourselves from your life. You're in it. You're making the most of it, right? So it was like this very important moment that I couldn't deny was happening. I think you would relate a lot to that moment. Like AA, there's this common denominator that brings everybody into the same room.

But everybody's so different. And there's so many different characters. I don't know you from Adam, but because you're disabled, we're going to be friends now. Yes. And it was so therapeutic. What happened that day was really the beginning of my next chapter. And so from that point on, I played community ball at UNM, learned about a program at the University of Arizona, moved out there, played with the women's wheelchair basketball team

there, got recruited to play at the University of Alabama. Roll Tide, baby! I'll allow this today. Okay. This is a one-time reprieve on Roll Tide. I did my graduate work at Alabama, played wheelchair basketball there while I was preparing to go to my very first Paralympic Games in Beijing in 2008. Oh, wow. By the way, here's the comedy of life. Like, if you do not become paralyzed, I don't know how great of an athlete you are. Maybe you would have gone to the Olympics in some capacity, but also maybe not. Yeah.

More likely not. Exactly. Wait for it. Okay, okay, okay. This is where the underdog victoriously rises. This is where the underdog victoriously rises. So we train that summer, go into Beijing undefeated, go through the tournament undefeated, play the Germans in the final. The buzzer sounds.

We've hit all of our free throws when they mattered the most. We win. We get the gold medal in Beijing in 2008. Come on. I'm a gold medalist. Oh, my God. An Olympic gold medalist. You've seen the Olympics. I know you guys are both really big fans. You know, when Olympic tears happen that everybody's got a story behind those, right? I remembered that

17 year old girl laying in her bed thinking her life was over and for sure didn't think I would ever be an athlete again. Flips the script. And not only are you going to be an athlete, you're going to go farther than you would otherwise to your point. This is beautiful. I'm a little welly. I know. I got me. This is inspirational. You would think that was the end. And I'm just going to add two more things. Yes. What if she stood up right now in the middle? Oh my God. That's what I started walking.

Oh my God. Oh my God. That's not actually part of my story. Of course not. One of the best things that I could have ever done was dream bigger and think bigger than I ever should have. It was this ridiculous dream. So before I left Beijing, I decided I was going to also move out to Winter Park, Colorado, where I'm at now, to pursue ski racing. And after the 2008 games, try to make the 2010 games in two years in winter sports, which is ridiculous. I've seen this. You sit on a single ski. Is that what you do? Exactly. And you have outriggers on your arms. Yeah, yeah.

And so that's what I did. We won the gold in Beijing with the $5,000 that I won from that Games, which was not enough. Yeah. I'm telling you, we were missing three zeros. Yeah. Paralympians get paid equal to Olympians now, but during my time. I didn't even know Olympians made money, to be honest. Neither did I, actually.

This is on news to me. Yeah, they get, I think it's close Olympians made money, to be honest. Either did I. Actually, this is on news to me. Yeah, they get I think it's close to thirty eight thousand for a gold. Oh, definitely do a fact check. I move out to Winter Park. I'm like real green. I'm falling off the lift nine times a day, getting to the top, falling a lot, crashing a lot. By the end of my first season, I ended up winning the downhill at the national championships. So downhill is my thing, Dax. I like going fast. I'm a big risk taker. And that gave me this real

edge over the girls that were already competing in the sport. Within the next year, I made the Paralympic team for being a ski racer. I get to Vancouver in 2010. And this is the part of the story I didn't really want to tell you, but my brother was a victim of gun violence in 2009 and was murdered in Denver. But overcoming that and going into 2010 as a rookie on the Paralympic team, I had this extra dose of inspiration from him.

He was a big fan of mine. And so I really had nothing to lose. And if you know anybody that shows up to the games in that position, they are in the best position, right? I had no sponsorship. I had nothing riding on it. I could just ski however, and it wouldn't matter. So the first race I ski was the giant song, which is not something I'm really that great at. The best girl fell. I'm in a position to win. It's a two run race. So I'm up by a second going into the second run. And as I'm sitting in the start gate, you know how grief is. My tears started falling. Like I'm looking at a gold medal in the face and all of a sudden my goggles are filling up with tears.

Is it a best run of the two system? So you do two runs and the fastest. Okay, great. I'm up going into the second run, but the fastest person from the first run goes last. Yeah. So I saw all those other girls go ahead. Like the anticipation is building.

I'm sitting in the start gate, start crying. And it's just the most inconvenient time to be crying. And I pray to my brother just to kind of help me through it and be this race that I don't remember a second of. I get to the bottom, I see my name at the top, and I am the first female American to win gold in the summer and winter games. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Let it rip.

If you get a chance to YouTube it, the crying that was happening was so... Cathartic. It was not cute. It was spiritual. It was a mess. Okay, so this is the best part of the story. After I win that gold,

I go on to win another gold, a silver and a bronze. I was the most meddling athlete of 2010 Olympic or Paralympic. Oh my God. After all that, I get like special treatment, right? Olympians and Paralympians, after you've meddled in the games, you go to the White House. I got to meet President Obama. Oh, Barry. I got to ride in Michelle Obama's motorcade and go to a school and teach about her Let's Move program. Oh, my God. She gave me a hug. Oh.

I was nominated for several ESPY awards, Hollywood Red Carpet, fun stuff like that. But here's the best. This is it. I get the opportunity to go on Conan O'Brien. And I know you just did Jimmy Kimmel. And you were very honest about how nerve wracking that was. So scary. Oh, sure.

In my head, I was like, oh, my God, this is my moment. I'm going to play the Paul Rudd joke on Conan. And the Paul Rudd joke is where Paul Rudd plays a clip. Oh, yeah. He always brings the same clip. Oh, yeah. Yeah. The Mac and meat clip exactly of the

wheelchair guy flying down the hill falling off the cliff and i'm like i want to be in on this joke i want to play the joke on conan oh my god this is so high risk this is amazing it's so high risk the best part about it was dax your wife your wife, Kristen Bell, was interviewed before me. No way! Oh, my Lord, ding, ding, ding. How funny! She was so sweet. Oh, my God. I got to see him all over the place.

I know. Too much Sim. So much Sim. That's what I'm telling you. I was so excited to tell you this story. To your point, it was so high risk. I was like, are people going to laugh at this? I'm in a wheelchair.

Yes, you're so afraid to laugh. Although, you should laugh at every fucking to laugh at this? I'm in a wheelchair. Yes. You're so afraid to laugh. Although you should laugh at every fucking thing. That's what I'm saying. I wanted people to know I'm also a part of this human family. Don't fucking pity me. Laugh with me. That's what I'm saying. Thank you. And so it was epic. The joke landed so hard. That's amazing. And Conan was like, let me be clear. You did this to me. Let the record reflect. Already emailed me the most amazing email. Oh my Lord. So my underdog story doesn't end up with me walking again. I am in a wheelchair now, but the life that I have. No kidding. Oh,

in this go round in this little corner of the universe that I get to be a part of. I am so incredibly lucky and so blessed. And I have this savage little four-year-old that doesn't even care that I'm in a wheelchair. Of course not. It's a good life. And I feel like so lucky that I get to convey the fulfilling aspects of being a person with a disability. It's pretty amazing. It's the best story we've had. It's the gold medal story. I think of any of the stories we've had on this show. This is another gold medal we're giving you today.

Yeah, third gold. Well, 15th gold medal. I don't know what the count is now. I have three, but this is for sure very special. Incredible story. Fucking outrageous. Yeah. Yeah, the moment you see the people playing,

I think back in the gym, the trap of your brain is you've already shifted your story to my life now sucks. And it's that confirmation bias thing. So your story is my life sucks. And when you see something that challenges that and potentially makes you confront that, that your life might not suck. If you step over here,

it's crazy how hard it is to step over there. I'm so delighted you did. Well, it's the risk, the same risk-taking mentality that got me in a wheelchair is the same risk taker in me that got me back into life. Yeah. And continues to both kind of get me in trouble. Like I am 40 now and I still like to go way too fast. And I'm like, why is this still a thing? But it's taken me around the world and given me such an incredible time. That's awesome. Well, Elena, this was awesome.

Yeah, really, really love meeting you and love hearing that story. Appreciate you guys so much. Can I do a quick shout out? Of course. My husband runs a nonprofit in the Truckee area called the High Fives Foundation. And what they do is they raise funds and give grants to folks that are newly injured from outdoor sports, skiing, surfing, rock climbing, and motocross, all the things. So we get them back into life through sports.

Like my story did the same. And so we're here teaching folks how to ski and do all this fun stuff. Well, one of the girls that works for my husband's organization, her name is Danny Trujillo. And she was in the top 2% on Spotify wrapped her armchair expert, which is hard to do. Wow. Too much content. That's incredible. Too much, too much. She's on it. So I just wanted to shout out to Danny because she's epic. And so many of our conversations are about the latest armchair

interview. And we just love you guys so much. That's delightful. Well, we give our love to her as well. And it's been great meeting you. I hope we cross paths again. I hope so much. That's delightful. Well, we give our love to her as well, and it's been great meeting you. I hope we cross paths again. I hope so, too. And if you ever want to have me on your show, I would gladly take a piggyback up those stairs. And I would enjoy giving you that piggyback ride. Or anywhere. You can piggyback me into the ocean,

whatever works. Thank you guys so much. This has been such a joy. All right. Take care. Oh, wow. What a whopper of a joy. All right. Take care. Oh, wow. What a whopper of a story. What a way to end. That was beautiful. Woo!

Woo! Woo! Woo! She was right. It was a roller coaster. Sure was. She delivered. Then isn't life a roller coaster?

Well, that's what my shirt says. I feel grateful. Me too. All right. Bye. Love you. Do you want to sing a tune or something? We don't have a theme song.

Oh. Okay. Great. right bye love you do you want to sing a tune or something we know a theme song oh okay great we don't have a theme song for this new show so here i go go go we're gonna ask some random questions and with the help of our cherries we'll get some suggestions on the flyer rindish on the fly, I rhyme-ish. On the fly, I rhyme-ish. Enjoy.