Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard - Ashe

Episode Date: October 14, 2026

Ashe (The Girl of Your Dreams, Moral of the Story, The Dream) is a singer and songwriter. Ashe joins the Armchair Expert to discuss growing up with a bipolar father, becoming the responsible younger sibling, and finding refuge in songwriting. Ashe and Dax talk about her breakout hit coinciding with devastating loss, the panic attacks that nearly made her quit music, and the adrenaline crash after a show. Ashe explains why success can feel like a warning, how childhood fears follow us into adulthood, and learning to feel safe in the life she’s built.Start your 2 month free trial today: https://youtube.com/premium . Terms Apply. Cancel Anytime.Check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds: https://www.allstate.com/ See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Welcome, welcome, welcome to armchair expert. Experts on expert. I'm Dan Shepard. I'm joined by Lily Padman. Hi. Today we have Ash, a singer-songwriter, and a great guest at a wedding. I don't think she leads with that, but as someone who attended a wedding with her, I got to tell everyone that she is a party to have at your wedding.

Great. If you're looking to fill some seats and she has availability, I would reach up. Her albums are Wilson, Ray, Ashlyn, and The Dream, which is with, Phineas, their band The Favors, and she has a new album out on the 16th of October called The Girl of Your Dreams, which contains the incredible song Stop the Wedding, which we are going to be lucky enough to hear. She sings for us, guys. She blows us right out of our chairs.

It was such a treat. Please enjoy Ash. That one over here. Is this one good, fine? Yeah. Okay, great. So I'm going to bite Monica. Yeah, snakes.

Up her butt. That's her ultimate fear. When they're in the toilet, those snakes and they come right up your butt. Whoa, what? They're known to come. How often are y'all hanging out outside of this? Well, we're together five days a week. And then she's generally around before and after a bit.

Yeah, we do some hangs before and after. Her best friend is on the porch at all times, Anna. That's right. She works for Kristen. So, you know, there's a lot of hanging. It's very incestuous. It is. I love that.

I used to basically spend the night every night. Yeah. During COVID, she lived with us for quite a period. Just immediately post seizures. Yeah, I had a seizure. Whoa. Yes. And so my mother, Kristen, felt like she needed to keep my eye on me.

Yeah. She did. And it was very sweet. If I could have her as my mother, She's a good one. I would be down. I recommend her as one. Needing me.

I think she's taking new patients, actually. She is. I'm going on. You might be able to slide in there. Okay. We'll do. Okay, so now the wedding. We met at a wedding.

And I just want to tell you, we met in a wedding. I want to say from my perspective what happened, which was there was a rehearsal dinner. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Conventionally the rehearsal dinner, the night before, right? I know what you're going to say.

Okay. And I'm at a table, and I even shared about. it on here. I was positioned between polar opposites of a spectrum, like someone who grew up in communist Poland and then a music manager who's been doing it for 30 years and has seen every level of depravity, right? So. Yeah, they put you in a fun spot. Yes. So I was bouncing back and forth between these conversations. And then I was randomly also glancing because I was the oldest person there. I'm like, well, non-family member. I'm surveying who's at the other table, right? And I'm just

kind of like going down. I don't know that. That person looks like they're on TV. That person looks like an influencer. And then all of a sudden, I see your little face and you're staring directly at me. You mouth, as I recall, I want to meet you or something like that, right? Yeah. And I was like, oh, how comforting. There's all these young people and I feel very old. And then I got to meet you.

And it was a delight on my end. That's nice. It was a delight to get to meet you. I don't know what got into me at that wedding. I was so social. How fun. In a way that I'm fairly introverted. I present bubbly.

I present extroverted. Yes. But I very much am not. False advertising. Kristen's similar. Fake. Right? She is similar, yeah.

I saw her at breakfast knitting. There you go. By herself. Oh, very on brand. They're like, what's you doing over there? Kristen. She really likes to recharge by herself. I would say not even recharge.

just be. She likes solo time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's something special to that. I agree. I, once and a while, and I think Phineas' wedding was such a good place to do that, where I'm like, I'm here by myself. My husband was at a wedding. His best friend's wedding.

Mr. Canada. John Canada. John Canada. It was a house divided. So we had two weddings this year. Uh-huh. And they were on the same day. Oh, man. The wedding he went to was like a 30-person, tiny, private. In a field? Yes. On a cliff. That sounds nice.

We were at a different wedding. We were in high cotton, as they would say. Do you know that term? No. It means like things are good. Wealth is there, you know, like you're highfalutin. Yeah. It's probably a very, I know.

I probably hated that. I can't say that. If you can separate cotton production from slavery, which is certainly hard to do. I was like, cotton is a word we like, I didn't say it. It's a triggering word. But I do think when the cotton was high, that meant like, oh, you're about to get paid. Oh. You know, when it's high cotton, we're about to.

The harvest and everyone's going to get paid. Some people are about to harvest. Okay, right. So again, we can somehow parse up. Yeah, it's hard to do. It's challenging. A lot of these words that went down. It was a...

It was a fancy wedding. It was fancy. It's certainly the fancy. It was really nice. It was really nice. It was wonderful. Yeah, because I don't want to give the impression that it was ostentatious. It was not.

It was just beautiful. Also, another reason why I felt so social is like, I am one of Phineas's good friends. Yeah. And I knew that these people are here because they love him. He doesn't have superficial relationships. Yeah. So I knew that I was safe. So when Jason Sadecas is like, you know, a couple seats down for me, I'm like,

hey, buddy. All right, we've never met before, but we're going to be friends. Yeah. Yeah, I felt very comfy. And so I met you, and I just immediately was like, oh, this guy's so down to earth. Well, thank you. Sweet. The power of a wedding, which was really on display there, I almost could see the utility of weddings historically, which is you trust everyone there.

We all love this person. This person has co-signed on all of us, and there's an immediate kind of trust. I think people were being very candid immediately. Yeah. Like that you wouldn't be in another setting, but it's just like, okay, these two who we trust have vetted everyone here. Also, I do want to say, because I would hate for anyone to get the wrong impression. Yeah, there were a couple heavy hitters. there, Sadecas being one, Bebes.

But in a lovely way, most people were childhood friends from both folks. Yeah, I mean, you had me there. Yeah. How long have you, when you met, Phineas at 19, did you tell me? He was 19.

He was 19. I was 22. Okay. I'm the big sis, for sure. We adopted each other pretty quickly. Yeah, how did you meet? Technically, we met in a crosswalk. We knew of each other and were in mid-crosswalk

going like, hey, and then we needed to get out of traffic. But then we got put in a writing session a couple weeks later. At ages 22 and 19? Yeah. Okay. Who was putting together a writing session at those ages? We had managers that were at the same company. Oh, okay.

So they're like, we think you guys are going to like each other. And I was married at the time, the first round. Yeah, this practice round. Yeah, the tough round. Yeah. The rounds that made me tougher. Yeah, 22 is an ideal age to get married. Yeah, that was critical.

Or no, actually, I was 23. I got married at 23. So it was them. But that session with Phineas, I think you meet some people that you immediately, I don't know what you guys feel about past lives. Oh, yeah. Hit us with it. Do you get into that? Well, listen, we do a lot of astrology here, which is not my bag, but I don't mind doing it.

And so, yeah, I'm up for past lives. You buy into it. I don't buy it into your coming back as a beetle or a tree or whatever. That way. I'm not certain of that. Sure. I feel pretty certain because there are folks that I've met, and even how comfortable I was with you immediately. I don't know that we were best friends in a past life, maybe, but I think maybe we ran in.

You were my barista. There was a comfortability there. I buy into that. And Phineas and I, we must have been like mother's son, or maybe he was the mother and I was the son. You know, just really connected. And I've only had a few of those people. The documentary about those two had not come out yet, right? about he and Billy.

Oh, no. Billy had just put out Ocean Ice. Oh, wow. And it was just starting to take off when we met. So I really got to meet him in his most vulnerable state. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the best time. When things were starting to rise, but he wasn't Phineas yet.

Right. He wasn't a single name artist that everyone knows. No. And I feel really lucky that we met back then, Also just to have all the years that we've had under us now. But love them dearly. I loved the wedding. It was so fun.

I had the best time. You... Hit me. I have to say this. Okay, please do. You and Kristen are so free. Oh, thank you. You are on the dance floor.

Just... Letting a rip. Brashing yourself around. You heard about the shirtless? Yeah, oh yeah. Yeah, well, that was later in the day. It was hot as Hades, right? It was a very hot, hot weekend.

I thought to myself, this armchair expert episode is going to go so well because I have seen him half naked. Wow. And I thought, I'm good. This is going to be great. If he had his way, every guest would see him half naked. Hey now, hey now, hey now. You want to rip that shirt off anytime you can. Well, it has to be justified.

By the way, you should. You were a hit. You know that we were all talking about it the next day, right? No, that means me, of course it makes me, again, I'm the oldest person there. So, you know, I mean, just objectively, of the friendship group, I'm the oldest one there by far. Is Jason? You were born the year I graduated from high school, Ash. Well, you look good, honey.

Well, thank you. Thank you. That delights me to no end, because I was totally comfortable, by the way. But I'm also very cognizant of the fact that everyone here is in their 20s, for the most part, or beginning of 30s. It made you uncomfortable at all? No, not at all. I'm just aware of it. And then you're trying to gauge, like, you don't want to.

be the weird old guy at a wedding. So I'm like, this may be the last year of my life I could go shirtless here and it's not insane. You were not the way. No one thought of you as old. And by the way, you're not old. You don't have an old energy. No, you're very youthful. Yeah. But I would say that is why they are free. They are older. There is a wisdom. Like age frees you a bit. There's an embodiment. I feel like, correct me if I'm wrong. Yeah. I feel like you seem and your wife seems this way as well, very certain of who you are. I like to think so. Yeah, I think I'm pretty positive of who I am at this point.

And you're probably pretty okay with that guy. I am. Yeah, yeah. I had to quit a lot of things and do a lot of things to arrive here. So yeah, I like where we've landed for sure. And to that point, that just tells me you've worked really hard to get to a place where you're okay with who you are. Yeah. I'm probably proud to be that person.

Now, let's be honest as well. I had exchanges with Bieber. I'm still self-conscious, right, in that moment. I'm aware of the enormous status gap. Yeah. It's an objective. I understand he lives in a different world than me. He has the pressure of if he is close to you,

you're thinking about that he's close to you, right? That's an alienating and an isolating experience that I don't have to deal with. That's not an enviable position. I don't ever want to be in a space where the whole room is hyper aware that I'm, there and is kind of half looking. That's too much pressure on any person. No, I think that's why I kind of never looked in his direction. I was like, let's not make him feel, yeah.

The story I told myself was that you guys were all at his bungalow, partying. This is great. Playing music, his music. Oh, really? Because you guys, I think we're maybe next to each other. I didn't even know that. I'm not a stalker. I just saw you guys at some point going.

We're all neighbors. Yeah, yeah. I thought I heard you laugh and I heard Bieber music. And so I thought you guys. Oh, I wish. I thought y'all were very close. No, that was my first time talking to him in real life. Oh, wow.

Isn't that funny? We're all doing that. Yes. We all have stories. Yeah, we're all making assumptions about other people and their relationships and where we stand and all. Oh, it's so interesting. It's like the grand social experiment. It is.

Yeah. And you're kind of, at least I was, I was qualifying my position there. Why do I get to be here in this very special moment of their lives? Why do they get? Who's that motherfucker here? Why do they deserve to be here? I was very psycho analyzing it. Well, we're little monkeys.

We are. And we're in a little group of people. And then, like, status is undeniably on the table and obvious. Like, again, if Bieber's there, that is what it is. Yeah. My heart goes out to him because I would have a really. really hard time in that situation. It would be really hard for me.

Yeah, I think Monica's right. I don't think it's an enviable position. And hard to relate to others. Like, we're relating to each other the experience of being there and a little nervous and, like, does this person know who I am or they don't? Yes. He had a completely, I can only guess, is a very different experience. He'd be stupid to not assume every person there knew who he was.

Totally. Okay, I want to know about San Jose. Take me to San Jose, 1993. You're born? Wow. A stone store from the camera. You are so cute. Isn't she the cutest?

And two things I want to say about, and I never do this, I never comment on looks. Wow. I'll take it. It's nice. It is, of course. No, you're so beautiful. You remind me of Lincoln. Oh, sure.

His oldest daughter. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I like me. I think you're really likable. Yeah, you are very likable. But you guys have a similar energy. Oh.

Also. Are you familiar with Gileon Jacobs? Gillian Jacobs, yes. Love, the show Love, that we love. Oh, yes. I love that show. You are her twin. Wow.

I know what you're saying. I've never gotten that. I've gotten some random ones. This is you. Because I'm now permitted to join in. You really look like her. I will take that compliment. I would have gone up to her if she was at the wedding.

Yeah. You have a history of going up to people. You know my Margarabians? I do, I do. Oh, you look like her, too. Oh, my God. So you went somewhere with Phineas. There's a really funny backstory in this, which is Phineas has already written the Barbie song,

and it's already won an Academy Award, and he's never met Margot Rauroby. Right? Yeah, loser. Yeah. You guys go to a barbecue together and she's there? Is that the story? It was a Halloween party. Oh, Halloween party.

Yeah. I was Marie Antoinette. Marie Antoinette. I have, like, the beehive and the whole thing and the blood across my neck. I looked. Yeah. I looked like it. Good as hell.

I had a couple drinks. Sure. Yeah, yeah. I saw her, and I just thought, why not? Yeah. Just go. Go up to her. You got nothing to lose.

You do. Oh. You have everything to lose. No, you're right. You have nothing to lose. There's no harm in asking. Sure. There's harm in asking.

I'm finding that a lot recently. This is such a tangent, but people will ask me for something. Sometimes there is harm. Like, even messaging you the other day, I was like, if I ask him this question and he's uncomfortable, it puts you on the spot, there could be harm in that. Well, it's nerve-wracking. I'm the perfect person. I did feel like there's enough of a kinship where I was. I was flattered to be asked to be in her video.

That's what she asked me to do. Oh, that's so flattering. I don't know if I should bring that. I'm recording two moms cars that day back to back on Saturday. So, and I have the kids and no life. Yeah, can't do it. He's a very busy fellow. That's so flattering to ask someone that.

But also I agree with you that some asses are too much. They like change your perception of somebody. Yeah. When someone asks you something that you don't want or feel like is probably, was an inappropriate ask of you, my approach now is, I completely ignore it. Like I refuse to let you put me in a position where I've got to now explain to you why I don't want to do it, be uncomfortable, you be uncomfortable. The whole thing is like, you made this mistake.

and it's not mine to deal with. And so I just fucking ignore it. If it's something that I think is crossing the line or it's just too murky and I don't want to deal with it, I feel embolded to just pretend it never happen. It's on them. I think that's incredible advice. I don't know you to be in this crazy uncomfortable situation.

Because we have our phones on us all the time. I think people assume that they have access to us, free access. And I feel like I've been learning this in the last couple years. And I think Finn has helped me with this. but no one has permission to my access without me saying, hey, yes. So if you happen to have my number, which now you do. I do. If you text me or call me, great, but I haven't just given you permission to have access to me every single moment of the day.

And if I text you at some point and say, my daughter loves the wedding song, she wants to hear it on her birthday. Will you leave her a message? ignore that. Ignore it. Yeah, what are you talking about? Or if it's for Lincoln. Okay, but think of the example. You got to do it.

But if like I'm asking you to be an on-demand organ grinder monkey for my amusement, you just ignore it. Yeah. Because they're not going to have the balls to bring it back up. You're also a man. I sure am. Do you feel like, I'm curious if you feel a different experience that as women, I feel like I've a little bit had to, if you don't respond, then you're a man. 100%. You feel that way?

I like that advice. I wouldn't feel comfortable ignoring. I do think it's great advice, by the way. So years I confronted it. I would go like, you know what? I don't think this is like a fair ask of me. But now I'm in a debate with you. They get defensive.

This is like six exchanges that I don't deserve to have to do. And that's also an option. You can be like truthful and say this is inappropriate. Or you can do the really easy thing, which is just say, hey, I'm sorry I can't. No thanks. You can lie. You can lie.

Or it's actually not a lie. You can't because you saying yes would not make you feel good, right? So you can just say, oh, I'm so sorry, I can't do that. Period. And then that does go away, but you've responded, honestly, with a boundary. Bo, do you think they would interpret that as, I can't do it, period? Like, oh, right, she's on her period. That's why she can't do it.

Well, I probably am. Yes, you are. You are. In that way, it's honest, too. If it's the ludial phase. I can't. We're always on our period, okay? You're like one week free.

We're always in our ludial phase, by the way. You're actually, guys, I'm ovulating today. Do I feel magnetic? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're glowing. Fertile. Fertile. You're catching me on such a good day.

Tomorrow it all changes. I now have the app. You do to follow. Flow. Flow. Yes. And I have flow for partner. Sick.

Yeah. And if I open it and I'm not going to say who I got it for. There's just a lot of women in my life, let's just say, and I have it. You didn't get it for your wife. I have daughters that I need to know, too, if they're on another planet. Yeah. So at any rate.

All on one app? Well, no. We started it with. Share a calendar. I think that's genius. But at any rate, yes, I opened it. I've only used it a couple times. I happened to be a hero of this one.

I opened it and it said, you know, your partner's four days out. Offer her a substantial meal. Well, the night before I. I had made the most enormous batch of spaghetti that was exceedingly substantial. And I was like, look at this. I'm fucking ahead of sketch. Isn't that crazy? Wait, it gives you tip.

You were like locked into the cycle already. I somehow subconsciously knew it was time to prepare a substantial meal the night before. Genius. I recently had my IUD taken out about four months ago. We're not ready to have a baby today. I have a hit song right now. Yeah, you're busy. We're working on that first.

But next year. I was like, well, I want to make sure my body is ready when that time comes. You want to get in that natural rhythm there for a minute? Yeah. And I never had PCS when I first hit puberty. And then when I went off birth control pill for 10 years, which is now famously horrible for you. And for 10 years? I was on it for a long time, too.

Really? Very long. Are you natural now? Well, I got off. No, it's fine. You do not have to answer that. No, of course. I froze my egg.

How many eggs you got? Oh, I don't have very many. I'll tell you that. So I froze my eggs and actually this is important because I refuse to get off birth control. I was like, I'm not getting out birth control just to freeze my eggs. This is part of my daily life. I need it. I need it for X, Y, and Z, blah, blah, even though the doctors are like,

it's probably going to be better for you if you get off of it for a couple months. I'm like, I'm not. I didn't. Wow. And then that went horribly. You didn't get off it. I did not get off. I got off of it like the month before and then I did the retrieval and then I got two eggs,

which is not ideal. Scary. And then I did it again. And so then I was like, oh, fuck, okay, I should probably do it again. And I will stay off the birth control. So I was off of it for a year. I did it again. And it was a better result.

Still wasn't amazing, but it was better. So it is important to be off of it for a little bit. I think your body. It's so crazy. I have no idea how old you are. 39. So what? That is, I mean, could be 820s for sure.

I will take it. I'm not going to. I was graduating. She was in kindergarten when you were. Wow. Yeah. Wow, those are really good genes. Kindergarten.

Thank you. Kindergarten. But yeah, congratulations on making that choice. That's so intimidating and scary. And I'm glad the second round was better. She made a whole podcast about it, which is phenomenal, called Race to 35. I will be listening to that. Thank you.

Yeah, I did it with a friend and we went through every day. Wow. We're feeling what we're doing. We're talking. Do the shots. This is a great time. We're in that window where I'm like, let's get all the tests done. Finneas actually told me to do the, is a genome where you get your blood tested and see if you have any of the diseases.

I had nothing. Amazing. And now my husband doesn't have to do it because our kids won't. You need recessive and he is a recessive. How do we get here? This is what we do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys are really good conversations.

Oh, Margot Robbie is how we got it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Which I, by the way, haven't told the story. I know, I know, I know. It's earmarked. It's okay. We don't know what I talk about. No, we have to.

Let's go back. So, okay, you approach her. Why did I bring up the IUD? Oh, oh, the cycle. I'm ADHD. Hi, guys. Yeah, yeah. We all are.

We are. We are. I want to get to a normal place, and now I'm starting to, but I've never experienced the full range of the female scope until the last four months. Yeah. It's intense. Wow.

What are the highs? What are the lows? I genuinely feel this week of the, you're ovulating. I feel more magnetic. I feel more social. I feel funnier. You're open to mating. I would like to mate.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I have found people attractive this week that I've never. Oh, God. That's great. I love my husband. he would be fine with me saying this. But whoa, this week hits and you're like, oh, my God. Has he always been that good looking?

I don't think so. Great. But then two days from now, I will be. Everyone will be disgusting. Anyways, it's just interesting. Margarabi was great. Okay, I know it started because we were wondering if there's bad questions. That's where it all started.

Then it turned into, yes. So, yes, you see her. You decide I'm going in. You've had a couple drinks. You approach her, and what do you say? I say, hi, so sometimes. People say that we kind of look alike, which is the worst thing you could say to Margot Robbie.

Because she's one of the most beautiful people on the planet. She's gasping your... How did she respond? Let's first find out the answer to that, because I think it went well. It went so well. Well, because she's lovely, and she said we should start a band. Great response. It's so cute.

Oh, and then she said she has a cousin who looks. like us. Oh. Oh my God. Just three of you. So she was like, well, rope my cousin. I think it was cousin. It could have been someone else.

The triplets. I think you can get Gillian involved. We got a real something going on. Okay. Genius. This is what a friend of mine did. So my friend Scott Johnson constantly got totally look like Kiefer Sutherland all through our 20s.

And lo and behold, he's at a bar drinking one night in Korea Town. And he goes into the bathroom and fucking Kiefer Sutherland is standing. in front of the mirror. Like 24? Well, Scotty at this point is probably 30 and then... That's who the show. Oh, sorry, yes.

The actor, Keepers out of him. And Scotty saddles up next to him at the sink. And he goes, you must get so fucking sick of people telling you look like Scott Johnson. It's bad. He bawled him over. Yes. He started laughing.

They went and drank together. And then Scottie went back to his house and they partied all night. Oh. That's funny. way to say it. Do you... The best possible way for that to go.

But I think that's the move. Instead of telling people that you look like them, do you say... It's tricky, though, because you have to look so much. And he does look a lot. You do have to... But reminder, liquid courage was involved. Yes, you would not have said... I thought it was a cute connecting moment.

It was. It was. Luckily, she was great. Yeah. I guarantee she agrees. This is my best story. There's no way... This is my best story.

She remembers this story. Also, she's like, we should start a band. You should have been. And like, do you know how to sing? I do. You could have really turned it, you know? You really could have made me. Megadena, do you know how to sing?

Oh. And then I, no, the way I turned it, I said, I'm here with my friend Phineas. She introduces Margo to Phineas, who Phineas has already done the Barbie song. We haven't met yet. And I was like, do you want to meet my guy, my friend? Love it. So I go over to Phineas and I'm like, hey, do you want to meet Margo? And he's like.

We're in a band together. Do you know what I mean? My bandmate, Margo? He was probably mortified. This poor guy. I have put him through the ringer. But you know what? It's good for him. It's good for him.

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Oh, yeah. Wow. Tell me the vibe growing up in the 90s. How many siblings do you have? I know about your brother. Yeah, I had one older brother. Okay. Just the two of us.

I was the baby. But I was the older child. He was the super artsy, free spirit, pushed the boundaries, rebel, addict, and intense personality. Also just loves it. Like, just we'll pull everyone in and then their whole heart will get wrapped up

and then they can't save that person, so then they fall apart. Is he a good big brother? Did he look out for you? He was a great big brother. He was. Yeah, he was really special. For context, he died in 2020.

I'm so sorry. Thank you. To add to an ory great year. Yeah. Well, in my career, I had the song, Moral of the Story. It was like the first song of my career that kind of changed the trajectory. It's on the Netflix movie. To all the boys I love before.

To all the boys. Yes, this kind of breaks out. Yeah, it was definitely the breakout moment. And that was in February. then the songs taking off were book and radio tours, March hits, COVID. Then September 11th, my brother dies, heroin overdose. And it was just the most insane, which this isn't interesting. I'd be so curious to get y'all's advice about this topic.

I'm going through a similar time of my career where there's one song taken off and there's this success. my body is waiting for disaster. I'm in like, what is it called? Having a trauma response to it. My nerve endings are pretty fried. I think it's good that I'm catching you at this point of my cycle. I kind of feel as boosted up as I can. Yeah.

But my nervous system is really shot right now. I'm not surprised. So what do I do? Ask, do you think this? I would be guessing I don't know you well enough. but my guess would be that this pattern actually predates 2020 in life when things got good. Did the floor fall out in childhood a lot? The floor fell out for me often, right?

We were moving houses a lot, you know, things were happening a lot. So every time something was good, it was like, for how long? You just always thought for how long. That's what life is living with an attic, though, always for your full life. It's a high. Their high is also your high because they're like happy and they're fun and they're, and they're like loving. And then there's a crash out at some point.

So there's some like, okay, they're in this phase. So that means this other phase is about to come. The ludial phases are on the corner. The ludial's on its way. They're ovulating me. They can't ovulate forever. Yeah, but it's coming. You grow to live like that.

Yeah. My dad was severely bipolar. Okay. Which really hit when I was eight. So there was like a big shift then, which I've always said I'm so great for. that zero to seven, those are the most informative years. Those were actually fairly stable.

And then seven on, everything shattered. There was so much trauma that my little body didn't know what to do with all of it. I've done so much therapy for sure and EMDR and trying to tap into it. I'm definitely the healthiest version now today, but there's stuff that lives there that you're just ready for the rug to be pulled out. Well, your brain is formatted. You create neural networks. You have a higher arousal setting.

I have a higher arousal setting. There's a lot of physiological things that you will continue for life. Yeah. You're likely more prone to an autoimmune disease. You know, there's a lot of predictable stuff. My husband has had no trauma. And I wouldn't wish any of it on him. But, you know, I'm explaining some of this to him.

And it is really hard for him to, totally wrap his head around that. Because when he's experienced moments of excitement in his life, it's just excitement. Right. And I've actually met more people like that than not. And I think when I meet someone like you that can understand or relate, there is like a connection there.

I think the thing we're all trying to get to is, yeah, the shoe's going to drop. By the way, the shoe drops for everybody, right? Someone you love is going to die. All these things are going to happen. Yeah. I think what you and I can get stuck in is there was a period where we didn't have the agency to deal with the fallout of these other people.

And we still think we don't. And the truth is, yeah, something's going to go bad, but also you'll be able to handle it. But I'm a for. You're living with the fear that you'll be... Poor in the storm. ...incapable of handling whatever it comes as if you're seven. But you're not. Yeah.

You're not seven. You're 33. You're a gangster. You're prolific. I am a gangster. You are. You will handle whatever comes your way. So I think the thing is trying to right size this fear of like, yeah, what's going to happen that I can't handle, but you can handle that.

Yeah, just learning to recognize you're not eight. What helps you recognize you're not eight? What helped you sort of reprogram? I had a situation where my mom was newly dating again at 70 or whatever. She had had this wonderful husband and he passed and I adored him. And then all of a sudden there was a new boyfriend coming to my house. to visit when she came to visit. And I first was like, no, you can't,

how long have you been with this dude? No, I don't want a dude to my house, right? And I had three or four days or I was just like, it was off the table. No, you can't bring a guy I've not met to my house have children, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, fair. And about four days went by and I was like,

oh, you think you're 10. And if this guy comes and you don't want him to leave, he won't leave. You have to protect. You're an adult man who I'm sure physically can remove the guy. You're not in danger, right? Even if she's chosen wrong again and the patterns here again, I'm not eight anymore. And I called her back up and I was like, I'm fine.

Bring them. And if I want him to leave, I'm going to tell him to leave. Good for you. It didn't go great. And I did end up talking about it. He didn't go great? That was such a bummer, Monica's face right now. It was good proof for me that I was like, oh, right.

I'm an adult that can take care of myself. Yeah. If I don't like the guy, I'll tell the guy. I've been saying the phrase, I am safe in the life I've created for me. myself every morning. Yeah, that helps. That's helping. Also, I think there's a little bit of, what's the phrase where you miss, I am about to start

my period, so I don't have a brain currently. That's the work. Those days. It's a bad, it's bad. I got all the options here today. You really do. You're welcome. I think what Dax said is like, yeah, this is life.

Bad stuff will happen. That's inevitable. But it's not because of the good thing. They're not tied together. That was going to happen anyways. Yeah. You just happen to have a good thing happening. Bad things happen.

It's coincidental. Attribution error. Ah, attribution error syndrome. Attribution error. It's not because of it. Look at you right before your period. Or she started this moment. Oh, please.

The flies show up. Oh. Oh, it's really inappropriate. Is it okay that I have my shoes up? Yes. Ours is that inappropriate? Okay. But it's like decoupling those two things.

Bad stuff happens. good stuff happens, they're not related. That's really great. De-coupling is a good word for it. I also think an additional thing that's likely on the table, so there's that thing. There's like, well, I won't be able to handle this thing. I'm so terrified of what's coming. I can feel something's coming.

I'm not capable of handling a challenge, which you are. That's one issue. I think another one, which I suffer from, is I don't deserve this. I'm not worthy of this. I'm an imposter, and the universe is going to smite me immediately if I'm, mistaken for being worthy of this. And that's the internal self-love part. And I hate to report what got me through that mostly is just having children, I hate to say, because I found such an identity in so much esteem in my role as a dad that I feel so worthy of all things now, because I

just found this bedrock of esteem for me. I don't know that's not for everyone, but for me, that's how it was. That's really profound. There's always that in the back. It's much more subconscious now. My conscious brain knows I'm great. And I feel it's a waste of my time to believe that I'm not worthy of what's coming. And even more dangerous, if you think you're not worthy, you will prove you're not working. Yeah, you'd like put your own limiter on yourself. You'll put out a piece of shit somehow. Like your brain, weird subconscious will be like, let's prove I'm right. Yeah. And then you'll make some shortcut that normally you want to.

Or you do some inexplicable thing that only in retrospect, you'd go, oh, I self-sabotaged to prove I was right that I wasn't worthy of this. I mean, I almost quit music altogether, had a pretty big mental nervous breakdown. Because it was sort of off the back of the moral of the story moment and my brother dying and all that trauma that I wasn't. dealing with. And then mind you all the childhood stuff, that is dangerous to go near. So that just gets set aside as well. And then we got closer and closer to this big tour coming up. And every day we got closer, I started having panic attacks for the first time. Panic attacks are scary. You think you're dying. Yep. Have you experienced? Monis had a ton of them. I used to get them a lot. I haven't had one in a really long time.

What a horrifying. They're horrifying. She's an over-achiever. So, you know, and she's going to have them, She's going to have them all the time. Yes. Sometimes in the car, which is really fun. No, not while you're driving. In Soul cycle, going to pass out and fall off a bike. Yeah. It was awful.

I mean, it was such a horrible period of time. I relate. It's so bad. And you do. You feel like you're going to die. I feel like something's really deeply wrong with you. I went to so many doctors. You have anxiety.

I'm like, you don't understand. If you think what I have is anxiety, like you're wrong. And it was. It's born from anxiety, right? Did you see a therapist? Yes. I started therapy for the first time. That helped.

And I hate this answer because it's sort of an external thing. But I started nannying for them. Not your kids being the answer to both. You want to borrow them? We're blinking. Yeah. I need to meet these kids. I mean, the kids are deeply special.

But it was more that I had stability. Wow. Because before that, I was working on a soul cycle. I was babysitting all the time. I was auditioning. I was like, what is my life? Were you doing this at the time? Was this before armchair?

Yeah, way, way. So, yeah, this was 20. When did I start? I don't remember. Well, Delta was born in 14, so probably 14. Yeah, right around 2014 then, I guess. So, yeah, I just had this job that I knew. I went in the morning and I left and I had like more freedom.

Structure. Is that how you met? Yeah, I started. Well, we met socially. And then in that social connection, we found out she babysat. I love that. None of the kids died when she babysat. So then we said, they were thriving under my care.

Mani? Yeah, they became so much smarter. Darker. Yeah, they got melanin. Yeah, yeah. Darker. That's awesome. Oh, I was giving them the panic petatide every night.

Anyways, San Jose. Yeah. When the bipolar episodes started, it's, I'm presumed, destabilizing for everyone involved yet. It's a contagious condition in ways. Yeah. You just start feeling like you have, responsibility over it. Whatever you do is in control of their volatility. You're trying to regulate them and keep them. Yeah, whatever they need to make sure you're safe and your mom's safe and your brother's

safe. Do you have an autoimmune yet? Not yet. You know, it's so stressful. Sort of bring this up to the nervous system thing and how much of this is psychosomatic because my allergies are abnormally bad and feeling like I'm getting sick all the time. And I'm like, I'm good. I am healthy. This shouldn't be like this. It could totally be the start of an autoimmune thing, but the whole body keeps the score.

Yeah, yeah, right. It's like, I haven't read the book, but you don't have to. No need to. It's pretty self-examination. Yeah. Great title. Yeah. I almost feel bad for him.

I know. He should have been a little more elusive. Yeah. Great book. I actually read it. It is a phenomenal book. It has some critics now. There's like a wave of criticism about it.

Yeah. But at any rate, I don't know how you're not an addict. I know. I think that I got to see. So my dad, for all the wonderful things that he was and is, we don't speak. But he's self-medicated. And I just saw between him and my brother's story, it took all the sparkly bits away from using. I'm surprised alcohol didn't ever become a problem.

Yeah. For me, it's only just brought me closer to Margarabi. Yeah. So that's a real asset, really. I think that's just by the grace of God or Oprah or the universe. Body chemistry probably. It's literally just probably genetically, you don't have it. Yeah, because I'll start smoking and then I'll be like, I'm good, and then I cannot smoke.

I do feel like that's rare. Yeah, that's Kristen. When I met her, she smoked, and then three months went by, and I'm like, wow, I've never seen someone so effortless. so effortlessly quit smoking cigarettes. And she goes, I haven't quit. And I go, you haven't had a cigarette in like three months? She said, really? Isn't that weird?

What the fuck is wrong with you? How could you not? All I would think about when I quit was. Maybe I'm like your daughter because I'm like her. No. You also start doing piano and vocal lessons around the same time, I guess, the bipolar rises because you're eight when you start doing all that, right? Yeah.

Is that a retreat? Yeah, music definitely was a place to find something that was only mine. You also can exhibit. control. I put my finger here. This comes out. Songwriting was such a novel. I get to process what's going on in my life through words that no one has to hear. I just wanted so badly for my family to be okay that they would have never known that I wasn't okay. I would have never expressed that I was hurting or not okay or I didn't know what my favorite color was.

Everything was so wrapped up in them. Yeah, there was this one small piece that was all mine and that was writing. So I think that definitely shaped me for sure. Yeah. This stuff can give you your best hobbies. Your trauma? Yeah.

Yeah. So you can pick up some stuff that you end up loving for your life. There's the healing that can come from. How are you getting validated in a way that would make you confident to try to get into Berkeley? Mm-hmm. I don't know that I was. Things got really hairy my senior year of high school.

There's stories that I think one day I'll be able to tell, but that don't fully belong to me, so I get nervous about sharing them. But our house was bombed because my brother was affiliated with the gang, and then our dog got shot. Thing after thing after thing. These are not just things.

These are enormous, literally bombs. Just literal bonds. Mottesaw cocktail to the back of our car. Oh, man. And cortisol. And that's got to be another thing. My body is ready for trauma. I'm good in a crisis.

You want me on your team. I'll go further. I get high in a crisis. 100%. Love it. Have to keep myself from searching it out. Starting a crisis. Or just I see the shit happening over there.

I want to run over there. I just want to be involved. It is a little bit of maybe a savior complex of like, I'm going to save you from your trauma because I know I can hand them. I have years. Yeah, yeah. Training. Like you're a seal. My husband's father was diagnosed with kidney cancer this past year and I was like, ready in action.

Let me be, I'm gonna help you guys. And of course it's like, you're gonna make the kidney cancer girl? I wrote a song that I'm certain is going to chase this cancer on your kidney. Stop a way! I've never considered that I get high from it. it, but I think there's ego in it for sure. Well, if I could defend this, it'd be more compassionate to us. Again, the arousal setting got pinned.

If it malt off cocktails fucking blasting off, right? So life can be a little agonizingly boring in a way. This is what the dopamine seeking is. It's like you can be suffering under peaceful, normal conditions, which is not your fault. It's your responsibility. You've got to not get yourself into shit. But yeah, I feel very alive. All my senses work great.

I'm plugged in. And that elevated state is pleasurable and a bit euphoric. It's probably why I love being on stage. It's high stakes. It was like there's an amount of cortisol and adrenaline that's released in the body on stage. That's the same as going to war. Your body doesn't know the difference between these fans screaming at you and you're fired out. Yeah.

Yeah. Another gear kicks in and you are trained for this. So this is like, yeah. If people are coming to my show and they want to. want to meet me or come backstage, it has to be before. Because if it's after, if it's right after, I'm still in the adrenaline high. But if it's like even 30 minutes after, I crash. Yeah.

Which is not... Just not sustained. I'm going to have to figure that out for this next run that we're planning. You're allowed to take some time after. Why? You don't know anyone anything. You're allowed to take the minute to relax. Me staring you into the eyes like, really...

You're like, am I? Are you positive? You're allowed to have rules. First time this is occurring. Yeah, they come before. That's it. I just got off the road with Benson Boone, who was and is the nicest person you'll ever meet in your life. Really?

Yeah, if you ever get the chance to have him. He's a human sparkler, right? Connect us. We would love to have them. I want to do a backflip off this table. And he would. He has a beautiful physique. He's very handsome.

Even when they're not ovulating. Even when you're not ovulating with handsome. He's like, he's leudial phase resistant. I was in my luteal phase both times. So I was on the road with him for two weeks in the luteo phase. Then I got off the road and then I, you know, filicular ovulating. And I was like, man, I was on tour with a handsome. Yeah.

And then we had one last show of the tour. He had to cancel a show. And so I came in for the remake of that one. I was back on my luteal. So I couldn't appreciate. Wow. Yeah. Us men have no clue.

We're like, boy, there was no rhythm. I guess my hair looked bad that day. When you're a young man, you have no fucking awareness of that, the legal phase. And you're just like, wait, why was she was giving me a lot of rhythm last time I saw her. And now, what happened? Did I get disfigured? What has happened? That is so funny.

We have no clue. Yeah, that's really tough. I have so much compassion. I am so so so sorry for you guys. But so before he goes on stage, he prays. I can't speak for him. I don't know if he's so religious anymore. because he came backstage and he invited me to like the prayer circle.

Oh, fun. First we dance. Everyone's twerking and then we huddle up and we pray. And it was the most sweet, kind of transformative grounding thing. And I thought, I think I'm going to start praying before I go on stage. Sure. I do my mantra. Really cool.

So my prayer is the equivalent. I meditate. He's not allowed to tell us. I do transcendental meditation. But you have a mantra that's given to you. And that's what you say over and over again. in your head while you're meditating. I don't want you to tell me if you don't want to tell me, obviously, but why don't you share it?

I have no idea, but when it was given to me, I was instructed to not ever tell anyone what my mantra is. By someone? By the instructor of Transcendental Meditation. It's not like a sentence. It's like a... It's a word that makes no sense to me. It says sounds.

It's like Clidiot or something. What if I got it? Calidio. You're quite far off, but yes, that would be great. If anyone would get it, it would be you. Calidia. What if it's Calidia? Should we bore it with our story?

Mm-hmm. You go. I'm traveling. And then I'm talking to Monica. She goes like, I've been being so weird in my apartment. I'm like, what's going on? She's like, I'm just fucking singing some bizarre song out loud. And I go sing it to me.

She's like, no, I'm not going to sing it to you. Whatever, we finish up our business. I hang up. I call her back in like two minutes. And I said, is this the song? I think, I said the words are. Didn't I say the word? Oh, you said, I have made a song around Xanthum gum.

Yeah, around the word Xanthum gum. And I go sing it to me and she's like, no, I'm not going to do that. I hang up and all of a sudden occurs to me, I call her back and when she answers, I go, Xanthum gum, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, zantham gum. And she goes, ah, she screamed so loud. And then got paranoid. She's like, you installed my TV. Can you like hear?

Did you? Yeah, it's like, did you do something with my sonos where you can hear me in my apartment? So you're just that connected now after all of the years. It's a lot of a lot ago. Did this happen? Like, had you been from years? Working together for a while? It was wild.

I think, you know, circling back to what you said, I was going to say it earlier. But I think we've known each other in another life. Yeah. Oh. I feel. If I believed in other lives, I would co-sign. Like, there's just like, oh, yeah. I've known this person for way longer than I've actually known him.

Yes. What is that? And then sometimes I'm like, ooh, I wonder who you'll be next time. I like it in theory. I think we all have some things that are inexplicable. And I think some explanations for people seem most salient. Yours happens to be like, for you, that just really resonates. Like, yeah, I feel like I've been here before.

And again, our friend Phineas, every time I leave him, I'm like, no, he's 51. He's definitely my age or he might even be 55. If past lives is real, this is his seven-th billion. It's been around. It's his dad's 80th round. That's the most mature person I've ever met. Yeah. Okay, but back to Berkeley.

Oh, yeah. How does one get into Berkeley? You submit, I presume. I auditioned. You have to audition. You fly to Boston and audition? I think I drove to San Francisco. Okay.

They have teachers that come to different cities. Did my audition. I think I sang an original song. So I was like, I'm a singer and I was a songwriter. And then I sang a Nor-Syska. Jones, I sang I don't know why. One of my favorites of all time. She sang for us as well.

She did. Wait, you've had her on. Yeah. Early days. Yeah. Yeah, I'm definitely going to go listen to that. Yeah, it's okay. I love her.

And she came and saying Christmas jingle. Oh, that's right. I got a partial scholarship from that audition, and I might have to owe that to her. Oh. I think you owe it to yourself, but yeah. Now, a little bit of both. When you go to Boston, A, this is an enormous cultural shift between San Jose in Boston. You also have the weather. You're also now not around the chaos. Is the experience

dreamy? How do you change in those four years? I think it was the most rapid changing of my entire life. I don't know that I've experienced that level of josh since then. Yeah, before or since. Yeah, like, so who would you say you entered as and then who did you leave as? I entered as a very scared, sad, frightened, insecure, tiny person. I was really terrified. I had a vocal coach who just was begging me to find pride in my voice and that I could do this. And it's funny because she came to a show when I was headlining. And she's like, look at you.

with all that confidence. She saw me in probably my most, like, naked mole rat scared state. I love when she comes to shows because it's like such a callback to that. I left Berkeley. I moved to Nashville for songwriting. That first year in Nashville was still a little insecure. One of my questions is why Nashville coming out of Berkeley when you could also probably go to L.A. or you could go to New York.

All my friends were going to New York or L.A. I knew that starting my career at Ground Zero in those cities was going to eat me alive. Nashville at that time, I still think to an effect still is this way. It's a reputation town. Like, you make enough friends, you show people that you're talented, you're a good hang. Yeah. You just got to be a good hang in Nashville. I also think would you agree Nashville has a journeyman structure in the old sense?

Earn your stripes, kind of a... Learn your craft. There are rungs of ladders you can apply for and move up. Whereas here it's like, I don't know, be nothing and then have a viral hit and be huge. I don't know what the intermediate steps are here. Whereas there, there's a little bit more of a journeyman. I would not recommend go straight to L.A. If you're a dreamer and you have ambitions of being anything.

It's hard. L.A., for me, it started to warp, at least when I was here, I've lived here for seven years. and it started to warp. I probably was not in the right circles at the right time, but my story of why I was doing it because I was around people that were doing it for the wrong reasons. I just saw Sally Fields did a little quick interview on the red carpet, and she was like, if you want to be an actor to be rich and famous,

get the hell out of here. That can't be the point, because you're going to get knocked down too many times, and you're not going to get back up. And I think my why of why I wanted to be a music artist and a songwriter started to get a little bit warped. Yeah, more about the result and less about the experience or process. Yeah, and so I've kind of come back. Well, to Sally's point, anything short of rich and famous, then nothing's enjoyable.

Whereas if you love acting and you're in a play, like, look, I was at the groundlings performing for free. It couldn't have been happier, right? Like, I was doing a show every Sunday and I was like, oh, I love this. if the only result you're interested is rich as famous then nothing can be enjoyed until rich and famous and then that's not enjoyable

or silly either that used to not be cool like when I was a kid wanting to be rich and famous was gross you had to pretend you didn't want that yeah if you wanted that you had to pretend

yeah you would be a hipster or whatever tell me if you think I'm wrong but I feel like I see more kids now interested in I want to be an influencer or I want to be a movie star, I want to be X, Y, Z to be rich and famous. Where did we lose the plot in the last? Do I sound like an old fucking lady?

No, I think. You sound like the oldest lady we've ever interviewed. I sound like an old lady. No, I think you're absolutely right. Well, look, no, what I'll push back on is like, everyone has always wanted to be rich and famous, period, throughout time. I think that might be your experience and you might be projecting that. I'm just saying no kid in their hometown when they imagine being Margo Robbie or Timothy

Shalamein is not thinking, yeah, sign me up. That looks fun. But I think what's happened is we have had a shift in the industry, which is the only way to get that in the past was to have become a really good actor or a really good singer. But then we had, and I love her, so this is no shade. But then we had like the Paris Hilton Kim Kardashian phenomenon and these people became billionaires. So now there was a new avenue to being rich and famous that didn't require a ton of training as an actor or a singer. And that's fine. So I don't fault anyone. It's like everyone want to

be rich and famous, but the hurdle to become that was pretty significant. And there are avenues now to be rich and famous that don't require to me a terribly objective skill set. Talent. Yeah. Like if you're hot and you look like you're having a great time everywhere you go, that could be valuable. And by the way, good for them. Maybe it is valuable. Good for them. I got no beef with that at all. That's so... Rich and famous, though, I think when you're young and you're seeing,

you know, whatever... Jimmy Shaley? Yeah, on the cover and you're like, oh my God. It seems so glamorous. It seems so glamorous, but really what's under it is like everyone loves them. I want to be a person that everyone... Yeah.

I want to be enough. And that's what Rich and Famous is getting conflated with. Yes, exactly. But it's really like everyone in the whole world loves this person and I want that. And you're definitely naive about what that is because then you're Bieber at the wedding. And you know everyone's thinking about you and that's very uncomfortable.

Well, that's crushing into a new. Right. I always wanted to be as successful as Boni Vair, Justin Vernon. Oh, my God. He's incredible. He can go to a Trader Joe's, but he can also sell out an arena. And get a great table at a restaurant. There are things you want.

Skip the line. So I was a competitive gymnast for eight years. Oh, wow. And I was a kid. Oh, wow. homeschooled for it, was going to the Olympics, saw the Olympics, wanted to go to the Olympics. Yeah. But it was from such a place of I want to be great.

Yes. And I want to be important. Are you watching lanterns? No. Okay. Well, it's great. But there's something that happens. It's not a small thing.

Sounds like it's going to be. There's a eulogy that's being given. It's not as good. I love a eulogy. It's a eulogy that's being given that's written by the person. who's died. They've pre-written it. Oh, okay. Lovely. Yes. And the last line is, I hope I mattered.

And yeah, I was watching my friend and we were both like, oh, it like really distills it down. It's all we want. We just want to matter. It's just who are you going to matter to? Do you need to matter like Dolly mattered or do you want to matter to your kids? My therapist phrased it another way, which is very similar, but he's like, do you think you exist? I mean, it's weirdly that deep. Like, if I'm not observed and people aren't witnessing yet, do I exist? You have this deep desire to know you exist.

You're not even sure you exist if you see. If you feel invisible, you're in eighth grade and no one says hi to you all day long, it can feel like you don't exist. And that's heartbreaking. I think that's the whole reason why we want to find love in life. Because you want someone to be a witness to your life. it's a little selfish. I buy into that fully.

They help you know you exist. Yeah, I want to be on the porch, wrinkled up with my husband, and I want him to know what I looked like now and what I sounded like, and the changes I was feeling, and to have experienced all of it. You're telling a story,

you're creating a story, the story is your life. If no one reads that book, you know, it's a little bit heartbreaking. That you exist. Yeah. That's why I love, I have a fascination with,

cemeteries. Okay. You performed at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery. That must have been a joy. Very cool. It's cool to see like a sea of heads

and then a sea of tombstones. That was a really powerful. But why do you like them? Just because it's a reminder of life? I just like to feel small in, I think, a healthy way. In a humility way. Yeah, like the ocean.

I think we make ourselves so grand. It's funny because we hold multitudes. We're like, I'm small, but I'm important. But I love looking at a tombstone that's like 1780 to 18, whatever. And I just imagine the adventures that they had and the laughs that they had. And were they funny? Were they talented? Did they have kids?

Were they someone's brother, sister? And you create this little life. And their story's over. It's done. And that's going to be me. Yeah, exactly. It's going to be me tomorrow. I don't like that.

Okay, not tomorrow, but I know what you mean. Whether it's 30 years or 130, it's short. It is. Stay tuned for more armchair expert if you dare. We would sometimes drive to Toronto from Detroit, my family, my mom and my brother and my sister. I would see these apartment buildings. There's so many windows. I'd be in the backseat of my mom's pinto and I go, it's almost incommeliorated.

Comprehensible. Every one of those windows has a me in it that feels very important. Yeah. And then a bunch of other my mom's in there, my brother's in there. It's overwhelming. It's overwhelming. We're so small. But we really don't think about it. We're thinking about it right now because we're lucky enough to have this conversation. But we're going to leave here. And now we're from now. We're going to forget that there's a bunch of people in those windows. Yeah, yeah. And they all are having important lives. And they're the star of it. Yeah. Okay. Wow. We're really. doing it. I love this. I'm having a nice time. Good. Good. We try to provide one. Yeah. We aim to. This has been like a real port in the storm. This week has been fucking insane. And then the music video of it all, like I said, my nervous systems. But seeing this on my calendar brought me so much joy. Oh, wonderful. I knew it would be nice. I have a question about the financials of when you move to Nashville and you start, you're doing a couple different things that I assume are paying the bills, which is you're starting to sing on other people's stuff.

And then you're also writing, like you write a song with Demi Lovato. For her. In the acting world, we know it's like, if you get one national commercial this year, you'll be okay. You're going to be able to make your rent. We know what one needs to do to survive here. But how does one cobble together in which things buy you more time, basically? Like when you write that song for Demi Lovato, do you go like, oh, okay, I have this chunk of safety?

You're trying to get a publishing deal as a writer that's. That's your first stop. Your goal. I was making coffees, barista. And I was in every writing room that would take me. I was in like two sessions a day for months at a time and then would work at night. And were you learning a ton in those? Or were you too distracted trying to prove yourself?

Boot camp. I was still insecure. Well, no. I was insecure in trying to prove myself. Yes. Yeah, sure. I would be. Both.

I'm asking because I would have missed a lot. of lessons trying to prove to them I deserve to be there, even though I didn't think I did. Yeah, trying to, like, come up with an amazing idea. Yeah. Nashville, more so than L.A., at least at the time, they want to teach you. You're in writing rooms with people who are very yes and, so you'll say an idea and then they'll piggyback off you. That's why I loved writing with Phineas, because he is such a yes and writer.

Uh-huh. I've had the pitfall of being a butt so, you know? Uh-huh. Because I don't know if that's good enough or I'll put a period at the end of something. So I definitely was learning a lot from those Nashville writers. I had no business being in some of those rooms. And honestly, I only got in them because I was a good hang. You're gonna like this girl.

She's, you know. Yeah, fun to be around. Fun or whatever. That got me further than my talent did. And then the talent crossed over to the next. next thing. But yeah, so the financials were tricky for a bit. I signed my first record deal and publishing deal.

20, 19, 18. And then I was able to just do that. And then the progression is you put out like some singles and then you put out an EP with four songs and then you put out a second EP. Finally, then you do a full studio album. Yeah. And the first one was of the first three, because now your fourth one's about to come out. October 16th.

It's like tomorrow. Yeah, it's so exciting. The first one, I would imagine, you're pumped, right? The first one probably shockingly does well for you. Yeah. Everyone says you write your first album your whole life. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's all leading up to that one.

Yes. You have your entire life to draw from it. And then you have no idea what to fucking write about after that. Second season of a show is similar. It's like, ooh, now what? Yeah, green light. So did you spin out when it came time? I'm like, okay, well, let's follow it up.

Yeah. Is that so stressful? I think, man, and I'm talking about him way too much. He really is such a big part of my life, but Phineas was on Till Forever Falls Apart, which was on that album. And that was a part of, I got a follow-up moral of the story with a great song. Wrote that, sent it to him, said, do you want to sing on this? And that's the song you guys played at the wedding.

It's so good. So awesome. It's really special. Also, I remember being a kid when I first started writing. and dreaming of a duet, wouldn't it feel amazing to be on stage with someone else? Yeah. And we're having this magical movie.

You know, I'm picturing it in my head as a movie. And I get to do that so often. Yeah. I'm living this very special, so a big vosh vortex of energy and hormones, and it's awesome. It's the coolest thing. Yes, then you guys, you do the favors with him.

Yeah. I'm just going to fly. Home Sweet Home. That's my song on that album, The Dream. It's so funky and fun. A little disco-e, huh? Yes. There's some hints.

That one is a bit be-geasy. And then Stop the Weddings very Aba-E in a lovely way. Big inspiration for me. To the degree that you've seen the play and everything, and you've watched the, my children watch the movie quite often. Oh, yeah. Like once a year. Mama Mia.

Yeah. Mamma Mia. Yeah. Yeah. Mamma Mia. Yeah. Yeah, Merrill Streep, oh, I don't really get, I don't know if you get starstruck. I mean, you see stars all the time on this couch, but Merrill Streep, I'd fall over and die.

Yeah. Sometimes people say we look alike. So. Yeah, the aforementioned without a paddle, that was the first movie I was ever in. First time they send me a way to go do all these different things you have to do when you're in a studio movie. And one was to go to this thing, show West. And I like come out, we're all on stage with all these other. movies that are coming out and I bounce out the back door to have a cigarette and fucking

mystery. No. Out there banging a dart. No. Yeah, she and I killed a fucking dart. And I'm like, one year ago, I had been trying to get a role for nine years and didn't get one. And then somehow I'm now back here.

You know who you were? No. No. Yeah, no. That's okay. That's great. I'll learn it. So cool.

Snipping a cigarette with her. That's so cool. Yeah. That's your best story. Yeah. Wow. Pull that one out more. I was keeping it in the back pocket.

I'm running out. I'm running out. There's only a couple left. I've had some cigarettes with some pretty cool people, but no one is cool as her. God, I should start smoking. I will ask you, when you meet John Canada, this name is too much for me. It's crazy. How does someone end up with the name Canada?

I'm a shepherd. My family apparently at one point herded animals, clearly. Shepherds. I think it comes from Kennedy. Oh, Kennedy. They're Irish. Okay. And I think maybe someone wrote it down wrong when they came over.

Okay, great. So, O. Kennedy became Canada. Kennedy, Canada. So really, I'm kind of a Kennedy. Wow. If you really stretch it. Yeah, if you really stretch it. What does John Canada have that makes you willing to give marriage a second shot?

I love that. Well, I mean, I could label. many things. The best thing, everyone is in his circle. I'm a very small circle, tiny, tiny. If you have permission in, then you are very, very important to me, sacred. He has this selflessness to him and this compassion to him, that he just all walks of life, whoever you are, just pulls them in and makes them feel seen, feel hurt, feel understood. I don't know how he does the aforementioned non-trauma. Yeah.

Well, I was going to say he's not worried people are going to be liabilities. They're not going to hurt him. Yeah. All my compassion and my empathy has come from my trauma. So I'm like, where does this get born of? I think I'm a really kind person. He makes me look. I go, fuck out.

Like a real piece of shit. I like the idea of our kids being able to have that balance of, a little bit of a hard ass mom and then this guy who's just always gonna listen and be like whatever you have for me I'm here and it's really

sweet I think that's his best thing and then again back to the last life thing I don't know I looked in his eyes I looked at him and I thought you look like my children whoa

like my children are gonna look like you oh wow The moment I met him. Wow, wow, wow. That's crazy. It's ovulation time today. I know. I know.

Let's get it over here. He's flying in tonight. Oh, okay. He's touching on a toy. I know he's going to be in the music video. Don't wait. Don't wait. Don't wait.

You have all these stories about how you won't be able to do the thing you want to do. And Chris and I, our careers both got way, way better. Okay. Magically. We're like, I don't know how this is going to work. And then there's some kind of magic that happens. I needed to hear that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think I'm on the same page. What I'm not going to do is let my, my success get in the way of my greatest dream, which is to be a mom. There you go. But I also really want to go on tour next year. Yeah, you'll go on tour. Kristen shot six movies. She was pregnant.

She's nursing. She's, you know, you do it. Also, there's the stigma with being a lady that the minute you have the baby, it's like your fall, it's on the downslide of your career. I'd love the trajectory to be a continuation of up. I think you guys might be outliers. No. I can point to Natalie Portman.

I can point to so many people that you're just not aware that they had kids at all. Yeah. So many people have kids that you don't know have kids. Yeah, yeah. It is different acting world because you can kind of disappear for a while. It's worse. Because you're disappearing when you're feeling. No, it's worse.

Your character isn't pregnant. She's working as a consultant. She's supposed to be a single person. It's harder. It's harder. You're allowed to be pregnant. You can be a pop star who's pregnant. You can hide.

And they do when people are working. But you don't even need to. You don't need to hide. But she said you can be present. You're singing this song with a big baby bump is radical. Who doesn't want to see that? It's going to be so cute. Yes, there you go.

I'm so excited. Yeah, John Canada is also very handsome. Oh, wow. The video is like this old vintage 1960s dating game show. Oh, fun. And we need all these like, hot male contestants. Oh, look at you.

Get the ass as a hot male. No, I'm the janitor that finds the... Well, we were going to ask him to be the host. Yeah, yeah. The old pervy host. Kissing all the contestants on the lips. You're like, I have an idea for my character. You want me to be...

Does that work for this song? Yeah, I'm so sorry you can't make it that day. So I just want to ask, obviously, you're here to promote the girl of your dreams, which comes out October. Well, I'm here to talk to you, but that's my foot in the door. But your project that's forthcoming is the album, The Girl of Your Dreams, is this the first time? I'm assuming it would be really radical to already have a single that's totally working

before the album comes up. It does not suck. It's definitely a vote of confidence. I also kind of reserved myself that this would be my last record if people didn't like it, because I really loved it. and I know that it's my best work. This is the best I've ever brought to the table from my voice and what I'm singing, but also the writing.

And the producer I worked with, Noah Conrad, he also produced Moral the Story. And he's at his best. I mean, he is so unbelievably talented. Talk about yes and. And I just know that this is my best. So if my best doesn't cut it, then I'm like, all right, we're going to pivot.

Hold up. I don't love that. I know. I don't love that either. I know. I'm not saying it's advice to other people. We just interviewed Yermo del Toro. There isn't a more creative volcano on planet Earth.

Tons of these movies that were fucking absolutely brilliant. No one saw. He would have been like, well, I did Pan's Labyrinth and it didn't make $600 million, so I guess I'm in the wrong business. And this, by the way, this contradicts what you just said, which is like, if rich and famous is, the goal, then get the fuck out of the business. Making great albums that you're proud of is the business.

Making your art. I think it's like, can I keep paying the bills with it? Right. Well, John Canada's going to, you know, he's going to have to help you work, worry about that. He doesn't have his master's in accounting. Well, there we go. That's a reliable job. It's a far better backup plan than either of us.

Yeah. By the way, my grandma loves that fact. Yeah, that's a good bad. I guess you can marry him. Reasonable man. A sensible man. Sensible man. He's a drummer in a band.

I just. read this Instagram. I was thinking about this on the toilet today. You see these things on Instagram, and even if you recognize at the moment, this probably isn't scientific, it's stuck in your head forever, and you will eventually think it was scientific. So I read this thing recently that the IQ test on musicians and that drummers are the smartest across the board from all the musicians.

And again, I can't imagine how robust this scientific study was, but it's now in my head and will be for life. Yeah. He's probably brilliant because he's a drummer. He's very smart. There you go. Yeah. One more bit of data.

I can't add it to the study. I love that. He wasn't like some crazy percentile of his class. Okay. There you go. And he's drawn to the drums. They were pointing out something about rhythm. Like something about time.

There's some mental gymnastics. Well, your brain is doing two things at once for the drama, right? Yeah. It's like the people who can. Yeah. Which I'm not even doing right right now. Yeah, I can do that. I think the hardest one is this one.

Oh, yeah. Concentric circles that go the opposite way. Did I do it? I can't. Oh, but then you keep going? You're doing it. You're doing it. That's a great.

See, Monica's going like this. Shut up. Where are you? But she's about to start her period. Yeah. You're in your... And I'm ovulating. Yeah, well, you got a little...

It's real. But yeah, that's a hard one. Wow. I can't do it. Do you make all your guests, do you think? No, you're the first. Again, I've got four tricks left. I'm doing...

Wait, so going back to this whole, I would have quit. Thing. I don't think I'd put as much steak into it. I just signed my first major record deal for this album, and it was off the back of my biggest collaboration project with Phineas, a band. There was just this hype and momentum that was setting up this record for commercial success. And if all of that momentum and the best writing that I've ever done didn't sort of materialize in a commercial way,

there is so much to this job that I hate and that I am unwilling to continue doing for not commercial success. When you walk into the morning radio show in Pittsburgh, the fucking shock chocks are in there. And the gotcha. Yeah. You can see them like,

trying to figure out who just walked in. They're trying to get you to call the most famous person in your phone. Yes, it's all terrible. It's miserable. And I don't like to travel. I'm a homebody. I'm a touring musician who's a homebody. It doesn't always go super well together.

I love being on stage, but the best place in the world is the good spot on my couch. And I would just love to be there all the time. Yes. I am very loud and boisterous and goofy, but so much of me loves solace. and quiet. And my life as the musician and artist Ash is loud. And I will happily sacrifice things that I don't like to do for all the wonderful parts of this job.

They'll still make you do the shit you don't want to do as a failure. Maybe less you're not on the top radio station. You're doing some dog shit radio thing. People are still trying to got you. They're still throwing you on a bus. Maybe it's a sprinter van now. I followed Louis Capaldi behind his tour bus

and my Saturn Ion for weeks, driving behind him on tour. And it was when he was doing like the troubadour, it was 250,500 cap rooms. I've been doing this for so long. Yeah, yeah. That I'm exhausted, and I don't want to keep doing it

if I can't have the reward. The reward. I get it. So that's more what I was, I needed to verbally process. that with you because it does sound kind of like you're a dick when you're like, if this didn't work, I'm out of here. And I don't feel that way.

It sounds, it can sound self-protective. Yeah, that's more. That's what I would not want. Which you're already cocking in me. Yeah, yeah, because I have it. Game recognized game. Dude, my movie didn't open. I quit directing.

And I started this, thank God, this worked out. But, yeah, I relate. I'm not going to kill myself for two fucking years and take all these notes from the studio and then have it fucking not open and I'm gone all the time. I don't get to see my family. Yeah, but had this not happen, I also should have just kept directing because I'm proud of the things I've directed. If I have the opportunity to do it, I should do it because I love doing it.

Are you doing more directing these days? I can't now. We do 162 episodes of this year. So there's no way I can do anything other than this job. But it's a good fucking job. Do you both identify as extroverted? When a conversation is over, are you pretty tired or are you energized by it?

I guess it depends on the conversation. Oh, the person. It depends on the conversation. Yeah, yesterday we left. Oh, I was like. We were floating on. Yeah, I was like, I can't believe we got to do that. Yeah.

It's like to get to meet a human. Yeah. It's like, oh, I can't believe we got to talk to someone like that. In your lifetime, if you're in your entire life, you sat next to someone like him on an airplane and got to spend two hours. Not because of who he is in. the world because of who he is. His essence. It's like his frequency.

Stunning. Stunning. So, yeah, sometimes it's like, and then sometimes you're like, I am the snap time. Yeah. And it's nap time. And it's nap time. And we're also both, I don't know what the word is, but I don't want to say addicted to work, but I love working.

I love to work. A big piece of my identity and I think yours is I am very industrial. Hard worker. Yes, I'm a hard worker. That's an admirable quality that I want. Which has gotten us all into so much trouble. Of course. Sure, sure.

But compared to the other approach I'd take. I'd rather be a hard worker. Yeah, yeah. Look, it's not an option. I'm not at peace being lazy. I try it all the time. I convince myself all the time I can do it. And then three weeks into it, I'm like, no, no, no.

We're not here to watch the fucking clouds go by. We've got limited time. We must do everything there is to do on this planet. Let's go. Intense. I'm intense. You're an intense fella. What sign do you think you're going to play?

I feel like, I mean, stop the wedding is the song. That's the anthem of the fall. And I will say, That's nice. We met at a wedding. And that was awesome. I bet it was.

So it's on record. I've only played this on piano once. Right. And you have a very bad cold. Yes. And you've got terrible news on the way here. Uh-huh. I am fighting a legal battle right now.

Let's get into that. Just kidding. Do you really have diarrhea? I wish Yeah Yeah Yeah Okay

Yeah let's party Let's do it Yeah Okay Yeah no it's nice to do This song The song's kind of like Changing my life right now

Yes So we'll pay it Tribute I found a secret note Burn after reading this It's supernatural The feeling Sinking in

This isn't cold feet These aren't fireworks The sky is menacing And that's an ice Spurkey thinks he's velvet smooth I've fallen for the act I'm in the other room and seeing through the cracks the voices in my head I screaming oh do you don't have to waste your minds are flashing now stop the way saw even though the tape as I'm waiting you can burn the dress and run

Stop the You've been such a good girl Talking like you should Girl We'll keep avoiding disappointing And your white sat in the heels You know how you really feel

You don't have to waste flashing now Stop the table set The guests are dressed And run away Stop the wedding Stop the wedding If your heart is dreading

Hands are sweating While the sun is setting You'll be getting up Stop the wedding If your heart is dreading Hands are sweating While the sun is setting You'll be getting

Sorry I'm just wailing at you Oh it's so good So good Thanks guys I love meeting you at the wedding and I loved this interview. I'm so glad and I feel very grateful that you sang for us. That was really beautiful.

That was fantastic. And I want everyone to listen to every single track on The Girl of Your Dreams starting October. And go back, listen to all the albums. Yes, yes, yes. Thanks, guys. Yes, yes. Take the journey that we're currently on.

Yeah. All right, adore you. I love you guys. He is an armchair expert, but he makes mistakes all the time. Thank God Monica's here. She's got a little ham. Alta facts. I have a little treat for you.

What is it? I want to start this with an audio clip. Okay. This was found on Kristen's computer today. Okay. And I think you're going to enjoy it. Mama made it. But how did you get in mommy's tummy?

Yeah, how did you get in there? Mama. I didn't get in there. I got made in there. Right. But how did you get in there? What do you think you grew from? You know, like a tree has to grow from a,

seed, right? A blood cell. No, an egg. The thing, and that electric cord on an egg. It's coming. It connects to the string on the other side.

String. It connects to my tummy. That's the umbilical cord. My tummy. That's you too. That's right. My bumper giller. Hold on, hold on, hold.

What made you is your umbilical cord? Is that what you're telling me? Mm-hmm. Okay. You have any cord. What part did I have to do with this? You fed me. You fed me.

You don't have a question. You snuggled me. Oh, well, no. Yes, I've done all those things, but that's after you were born. What role do you think I've played in you being born? Do you think I was a part of that? You didn't do that, you're right. She's doing gory.

Do you think I thought about it? And I was like, I want to be pregnant. And then, poof, I was. How do you think you got in there? How would she know this? Dad would put me in. Dad to put me in. So.

Seriously? Oh, my God. So Mommy's body makes eggs and daddy's body makes sperm. And my sperm swam up mommy's uterus. This one made Mama's little ball. Thank you for a baby. You're welcome. Thank you for making me, Daddy.

Oh, my God. That's the thank you. I was fishing for it. You're great daddy to make the sweet angel. Wait, wait. An egg and sperm. Mommy's egg is daddy's sperm. Your sperm made a gray baby.

Oh, who? You like her. You're talking about you. This sperm made two great babies. Oh, great babies. I'll say, I think I have two best babies ever made. Daddy, I'm me, Mama. You're saying I was.

When you're far. Wow. When your fart arrives, I'll read it appropriately. Oh, well, I do. Now I'm aware of it. Things are really gotten. Oh, my God. She said you made a sweet angel and she was referring to herself.

I thought Lincoln said that about Delta. No, Delta said it about herself. And then she said a great baby about herself. Oh, she did. You did make a sweet angel. Her little voice. Doc came from a blue card. Listen, she got a lot right, and I am impressed.

It made me miss her at that age. Thank you, Daddy. They all ended up thanking you. God. Well, no, they already had a lot of gratitude for mom. I didn't hear a thank you. Well, that's what preluded the conversation. That's where we were saying.

Do you know how this all comes about? Mama made me. Oh, my God. Oh, her voice. She's a cartoon character slash kid, like on a Disney show, but in real life. Is it a video or is it just audio? It's a video, but it's like they don't know they're being recorded. I don't know where I'm being recorded either.

Chris just set the phone down. So it's just like a close-up of a blanket. Oh, dang. But then you hear this funny conversation. Yeah, I wish I could see Delta's face. I know. And Lincoln's sweet face. The little babies.

Yeah, they were five and six. in that conversation. Wait, seriously? You caught um, ribelical cord, however she says umbilical cord. She really, I, I'm impressed. And you guys were really, um, just expecting them to know about sperm and eggs.

Well, I don't think it was the first time when they had ever been told. I think this is a repeat until they get it. Yeah, the ball, the ball inside of mom. So cute. What did I do? You fed me and snuggled my... Me, that's so cute.

I can't believe what a treasure that was to find this money. Yeah, I love that. Okay, someone's going to need to send me that, obviously. Oh, I'll send it to ASAP. Speaking of cute little angels, do you want to see something cute? Isn't Fizzy doing Fizzy things? Yeah. Hold on, I'll just send it to you.

No, no. No, my God, what a sweet boy. Oh, he's such a nice boy. And this little pizza cutter. Yeah. Pizza slice. Pizza slice. Pizza slice.

Oh, he's so beautiful. He's so cute. I really wish he lived a little closer to me. Yeah. Yeah. Squish him more. Yeah. He's just so, so cute.

I'm going to say something complicated. Oh, great. Complex. Complicated. Confusing. Sure. So, yeah, I got this really cute video fizzy and I was just like watching it over and over and I was like oh this little baby I love him

and you know then of course when you're looking at these videos you're like oh like I want one of those yeah but then you know so I did I did a photo shoot yesterday morning Sunday photo shoot I was at my house and we were doing hair and makeup and no one there has kids me the hair and the makeup no one has kids there and my hair barb I'm going to shout her out She's the best. Barb does hair. And I face-timed Sally. We're both good friends with Sally.

We had to ask her to her. We facetined her. And she was in the middle of playing a game, playing Monopoly with her son. Uh-huh. And, you know, we were saying hi to her son. And then her daughter came in. And of course, they're just like all so sweet and cute. And then she had...

Weirdly met them. Yeah, exactly. That's right. And she had to go to take one of the first. of them to a birthday party at the American Girl store, whatever. We got off. About 30 minutes later, I said, I feel bad saying this, but I have to. I'm so glad I'm not playing monopoly with the kid right now and having to drive to the American Girl store. Like, I really had like a real, like, I'm really glad that's not my day. Yes. Yes. And it's, it was off the heels of just seeing this little tiny baby

that I was like, oh no. Baby fever. Yeah. And it was very confusing. It is confusing. I should leave it with the latter conclusion. I don't know what. Because I will say, yeah.

We went, when Kristen was probably eight months pregnant, we went out to eat with Ryan and Amy and Crosby and Millie. They were both born. Yeah. And it was an untenable dinner. It couldn't be had. And it was at Big Boys where you're invited to be quite rowdy. But even it was too much for even the back room at big boys.

Yeah. And I remember leaving there in a bit of a panic because Kristen's about to give birth. Yeah. And we're going to be in the same situation where it's like we can't even get through a meal at big boys. And lo and behold, when it's your kid. Of course. It's something magic happens where it's like, yeah, I don't want to be playing monopoly with someone else's kid. Like that doesn't sound very appealing to me at all.

It's, yeah. It's deeper than that. that it's deeper than like I don't want to be playing with the kid. It was just like, like it had nothing to do with her children. They're great. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was just like I'm very glad that my day is mine. Yes, of course.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it makes a ton of sense. It's strange. And then that night, or like at five, I went to a new place. Shout out. Uh-oh, can't buckle up for a new shout out. Hotel Lucille. It's in Silver Lake.

It's a new hotel. And they have a new restaurant in there. Very cute. So Anna and I went. And there was, I won't say who, but an actor there. And we were kind of confused because there was this actor. There was another man. And then there was a lady.

And there was a baby. And we couldn't figure out whose baby. Was it the actor's baby or the other? And the other man was holding the baby really like it was his. And then, but also the actor was also kind of holding the baby like this. So I was like, oh, maybe he was practicing for a role. No, I was like, maybe these are two dads. Okay, sure.

And then I was like, who's that lady? You know, so there was a lot of questions. But the baby was so cute. And maybe one of the dads or uncles or friends or something was standing up with the baby and like holding it. And the whole restaurant was like drawn to this child and like staring. And it was so, so. so cute. And it was just a confusing day.

Sure. Yeah, yeah. But compounded by flies. Well, now, okay. Uh-oh. I have really, well, yes, my flies are here. Officially, thank God. Okay.

Because there was some fakeouts on Friday. There was blood. Okay. So I was like, oh, great, we're starting. Yeah. And then nothing on Saturday or Sunday. Oh, my goodness. And then I was like, ugh.

but then today it's a rifle force. Full flow. Yes. But I don't know what's going on with my Instagram. Adam Osseri, if you are listening, please help me. What's going on? On my DMs. So I only have it set to I see primary.

Yeah. So I only see who I follow. Yeah. DMs, right? Something's glitching and people's DMs are coming in, about like five of them, are coming in for people I do not follow. Mm-hmm. And you see the top where it goes primary or general?

You're sure you're not in general? Yes. Yeah, but I didn't mean to insult you. I promise. You never know. Mine's doing that too. What's going on? Oh, wow.

There's been a breach of security. Did you want to ask Rob if he's checked primary in general? Well, you feel insulted by that. I was trying to work through the things that have plagued me in the past. I know, but I told you that I followed primary, so I've clearly looked at that. Well, that did make me know that you know the difference. Okay, good. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sorry I asked. I check it a lot, and I keep checking it because I'm like, what is happening? I've refreshed it. I don't know what's going on. Have you read any, though? Is the universe selecting? That's about to say. Okay.

So I don't want to, right? I don't know. And I'm also then telling Instagram, give me more of these. That's true. So I haven't been looking at them. Yes. But then today, I got one and I, you know, you can see the first couple words. Uh-huh.

Sure. So it said, itchy ear canals. Okay. And now you're like, this could be a great tip. Yes. Yeah. So I opened it and it said itchy ear canals are a symptom of paramedopause. What if, well, first of all, that person also commented.

I read that comment. Oh, great. Well, they're hitting it from all angles, which is great, unless it's two different people. I don't know. I just was like, fuck. Okay, so I am in it. What's tricky is I have a really itchy ear condition. But mine's from psoriotic arthritis, right?

So I have to put this. It's not a steroidal, but it acts like a steroid does. I have to put it around a Q-tip and then do the inside of my ears because I'll be plagued with crazy itchiness. Right. From psoriasis is in my ears. Yeah. But I don't have that. I don't have psoriasisers.

I'm only saying. It could be something else is what you're saying, which it could be. It just feels right. Now that they said that and I am 39 years old. Yeah. Like. And it hits Indians earlier we found out. Yes, that Mary Claire.

Because I think you're still young for it, but... Yeah, I could... I mean, for I think for Americans, I'd be a bit young generally, but since she said that, and my mom hit menopause when she was 50, and it's a 10-year... It's 11 years. Yeah, but this is a 10-year thing. Okay. So that is annoying if that's true. That that's why I have it.

Okay. So you're going to go get your hormone levels, check? I think so. Yeah, why not? I think it's making me feel like I need to do that. But then... Then it did feel a little like, oh, God, this timeline, everything's happening. Scary.

The timeline of menopause? Menopause, babies, my eggs dying off. Aging. Aging, but specifically tied to children. Mm-hmm. And coming off of these babies, but then these kids playing Monopoly, it was just a lot. Yeah. So I don't really know where I land, but that's just what I've been thinking.

about. Sure, sure, sure, sure. And then, yeah, I do think I want to get some sort of ointment. Yeah, you should get to, you should put an anti-itch in there. Yeah, it's so itch. I just read a post, again, these posts present to science. And they all say they have a study behind him, but I don't, I don't chase down the study. Yeah. And then just gets in your head as fact. But the one I read, the post was about the power of the inside of a banana peel, that it is a natural histamine reducer? So you can put it on, it's saying you can put it on like mosquito bites and it'll get rid of 90% of the histamine reaction. And it even said that it's effective on warts of this really high percentage. Interesting. Yeah, so maybe cram a banana peel in your ear and see what happens.

Well, that's the other thing. As we've talked about, there's so many mosquitoes, like what if I just have a couple mosquito bites in there? I mean, circling back to the original, there's a bug in my ear. Yeah, yeah. Wow. Okay. Well, I'll try. Well, how did you feel I hung out with you on Friday night and you're in a real chipper mood? I'm allowed to be in a little bit of punk. I was just saying I hung out with you Friday and you're in a super chipper mood. That was a fun night. Don't gas like me.

I'm not. What do you think I'm saying? I don't know what you're saying. I'm saying we had fun Friday night. You were in a very giggly mood. Oh, you just want to talk about Friday night. Yes. Oh, I see.

Okay. Yeah, it's fun. I thought you were saying things have changed since Friday, which I do think you were saying. I wasn't. Okay, okay. I believe you. No, no, I'm just trying to get us to the next piece of content, which I feel like is watching that movie. And that was kind of funny that I thought the surround system was so good that I thought you were making weird screaming noises.

You were watching. Violent Night Part 2. Yes, Kristen's movie coming out. Yes. We got a sneak peek. Yes. We're watching in your movie theater. And the sound...

You were on the very far right of the room. and I was to the left. Yeah. Yeah. And you're right next to a surround speaker. Yeah. And I just hear like, it was really loud.

Yeah. And I was like, wow, Monica's going for it. Like she's feeling so tantrumy or something. Like she can't, she's feeling unbridled. And it was really fun to think

you were over there just making a ton of noises, like baby noises. Yeah, there was like some baby laughed or something to have. Some weird noise. Anyway, it wasn't me. It was the movie.

But Lincoln, also thought it was you, which was great, right? Because she was between you and I. And she too thought you were just starting to pop off. I do have a question about that. So I don't surround sound, surround sound is a little, I think it's weird for me. Tell me more. I think my brain doesn't like it.

Yeah, because also at the beginning of the movie, I couldn't understand anything. Uh-huh. And I didn't know if it was, you know, the bugs in my ear. Now I know perimenopause. Yeah. But, or it was like sound mixing. I didn't know what was going on, right? Yeah, yeah.

So I started. We don't even know if we're watching a final mix. Exactly. The movie doesn't come out for months. That's what I kind of wanted to ask. But then I felt scared to ask in case. It was implying the quality wasn't good. Correct.

Yeah. So then I go, am I the own? And then I stop, right? Because I felt, yeah. And then Lincoln looked over. And I was like, I feel I can't understand what they're saying. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And she was like, oh, he said, and she just said exactly, she didn't have any problems. Well, right, they have those young ears. Yes. And she can hear lyrics. Like, she's also just good at parsing out. And she watches a lot in that zone. Sure. So I, then I was like, oh, no, it is me.

This is bad. Well, no, several things. A, common complaint, I think everyone agrees. They do not mix the dialogue loud enough. The dialogue's coming out of the center channel because you're looking at the person so the sound would be emanating from in front of you.

Unless someone behind you is talking, that's when it would come through the surround. Uh-huh. Okay. As whatever point of view, the lens is. Right. If a helicopter's approaching from behind the characters, you're going to hear it there.

Yeah. The goal is to give you a sense of the 360-degree sound. But you happen to be seated directly next to the surround speaker. Yeah. So you're going to be seated directly next to the surround speaker. Yeah. So you're going to be here. hearing it louder than all of us.

Interesting, yeah. Just because you're closest to it. Right. So probably for you, the mix was, A, not good. Yeah. Then, B, they just in general do not mix dialogue high enough. I can't tell. I was riding that violin.

Do you see when we ride in the volume like a rented mule? I was every time they were talking, I had to go up. And then every time an action sequence started, I had to go down because it would be overwhelmed. And that, I feel like it's so standard in movies. Huh. Yeah. I don't notice it in the movie theater. I don't think.

don't think, but maybe because it's such, I don't know. They go loud as fuck in the movie here, too, just in general. And then I, but I checked with honest. She also couldn't understand anything. And she thought maybe it was just because her accent. Oh, and also the, there's often the little boy talking. I couldn't, I couldn't hear what you were saying. It was a sequence in the car.

It was, I don't know anything that just happened. Right. I got nervous. But anyway, I didn't, it wasn't me participating, laughing, screaming, whatever that. It was just the movie itself. Yeah, but it was so fun to think about it. And then we had a really good laugh at the notion of you. It would have been great.

Yeah. Next time, just start doing that, maybe. Okay. Okay. Stay tuned for more armchair expert, if you dare. I have a couple sim moments I want to talk about. Oh, great. That are huge.

One has to do with you. Oh, good. So for a couple weeks or a month or something, you brought up a couple times that there is a place in Nashville called Lebanon. Oh, yeah. Spelled Lebanon. Yes. And you brought this up a couple of-

Yeah. You brought this up a couple of times. It's like, it's funny because it's spelled Lebanon, but they pronounce it Lebanon. Yeah. Great. I had to send, unfortunately, some sympathy flowers. Uh-huh. And to my friend's mother.

Okay. And she's, they live in Tennessee. Uh-huh. Okay. And I couldn't get them there. And it was like a whole thing. And so I had to ask my friend for help. And she was like, well, you can always send it to, okay, my friend's grandfather passed away.

So she was like, you can always send it to his house. My mom is going to be there next year. Yeah, yeah. And I was like, okay, I'll do that. And she sent the address. And it was Lebanon. Lebanon Road. Yeah, sure.

And in Old Hickory. Mount Juliet. Oh, really? Wow. So a neighbor. I know. And I feel like she once told me that. Like, that's where Papa's from.

But I didn't, or like, that's where Papa lives. And I didn't really put it together. But when I was seeing it all written out, it was so weird. It was like, whoa, yeah. Really, it's the same place. And Rob's friend Hanford also lives in Mount Juliet. I almost said Lebanon. But yeah, I believe Mount Juliet Road turns into Lebanon Road.

Wow. I know. Isn't that so crazy? I moved to secretly the hippest place in Nashville. Where Papa lives. Yeah. Isn't that so strange? Like, Papa, who I've known since I was 13, 14.

Isn't that weird, though? It's like Papa came there and then you came there. Weird. And I'm in the middle. So that was Sim number one. Yeah, that was Sim. Okay. Another.

Sim crazy. Uh-oh. I was at Kara. Yeah. And I randomly got like a craving slash just I thought of chewy granola bars. Do you remember chewy? Yeah, the brand. Yes.

Yeah. They're still around. Okay. Well, so I haven't thought about chewy granola bars 45 years. Okay. Since you were hanging with Papa. Uh-huh. Yeah.

A long, long time. I just don't think about them. I never see them at the grocery. I don't know. And for some reason, I thought to just ask Anthony, I just texted Anthony. I said, do you remember chewy granola bars? Yeah. And he said, I just ate one five minutes ago.

Really? Well, he has children. But just, but not even the fact that I thought it and he just ate it and that I thought to text him of all, like just kind of randomly. Yeah. What? Did he eat the chocolate chip one? I bet. I bet that was the kind I liked.

Yeah, I think everyone preferred those. I just, what? And he wasn't as freaked out. Because they've never left his, his purview, probably. Exactly. So for years, it had been gone for 40 years or whatever. I think my brain. You're not even 40 years old, so not 40 years.

I think my brain must have known. He, like, he had it. Then he had just enjoyed one. He sent out a little pulse. in the universe that said he's satisfied in the way that only Chewis can satisfy him. I can. I guess. I can't.

But we lived together for a long time. I don't remember. He wasn't gorging himself on Chewis. I think it's because he has kids. Well, for sure. It makes sense why he has them at his house. But it makes no sense that I would have randomly thought of them. And then he had just eaten one.

Yeah. It's so weird. It's spooky. Just in time for Halloween. That's what he said. He made it about Halloween and spooky. And I was like, no, this is about powers. Okay, this is a standalone.

All right. Yeah. Okay. So that was crazy. Yeah. Who are you going to be for Halloween? Who should I be? A chewy granola board?

Sure. Chocolate chip. Chewy baka. Oh, that's fun. But I don't think that's a cute outfit for me. Probably too hot, given the trajectory we're on currently. That's true. Although next week it's supposed to be in the 70s.

Oh, well, it's been a hundred. Or more for the last four days straight. It's been stifling. It's been violent. It's been aggressive. It's been hostile. Ding, ding, ding. You can't leave the house.

I know, but I have. You've been leaving the house. And then I do get headaches. Back to your kids playing Monopoly. Uh-huh. The thing I've had to recent, I've successfully reframed is there's a whole lot of driving your kids all over the place. Yeah.

Which is never, I'm never in the mood to, like, get up and go drive across town for any reason. Uh-huh. But I've really successfully reframed. it where it's like, A, I love driving. Yeah. B, it's an opportunity for me to drive these cars I collect that otherwise I wouldn't drive. Yeah. And then B, it's, I'm with them, obviously.

It's just the two of us going somewhere. So I've been driving a lot lately, and I've actually been enjoying it lately. That's nice. Yeah. And one operation was to pick Deltan her friend up at Target. Okay. You know, what I love is Target is a comp for my mall experience. Right.

Like she wants to be dropped off at Target. Yeah. Which we did. Okay. And so I had to pick her up at 5.10 in the parking lot, but I'm like, I'm a half hour early. I wanted to buy fake cheese. And I'm like, I'll just go up into Target and sniff around. Okay.

And I'm buying some Starbucks coffee pods that are butterscotch flavor. Oh, really nice. Oh, yum. And then all this fake cheese. Okay. Trying to help Delta with her goal of not eating dairy because she has the same congestion I do. So what's from fake cheese? It's very impressive to see an 11-year-old self-regulate.

And we do a daily gratitude. Like, less not today, less coughing. Yeah, okay, let's, we got to focus on what the winds are when you quit shit. Because you just forget that there's any. Anyways, neither here. If you get vegan cheese or like, what's fake cheese? I think it's all oil is what they make it out of ultimately. But it tastes good and it melts.

Did you ever have the badass breakfast sandwiches we used to get all the time? Oh, yeah. Those were everything on that was fake. The meat was fake, the cheese was fake. I forgot about them. Remember how delicious they were? They were good, yeah. That's what got me amenable to fake cheese.

At any rate. Okay, you went there. I keep thinking I'm going to bump into them in one of the aisles. But I'm not. So I've gone through the whole store and then I got my shit and I'm buying and I'm like, I wonder where they are. And then I look across there's a little cafe section behind the Starbucks inside Target. And I just see the two of them at a table. Yeah.

They're like playing with whatever slime they bought. Yeah. And they're just, there are two girls hanging at the mall. Oh, I love it. And I got spotted by her friend. Sure. Tell to your dad's here. Yeah.

And I was like, oh, shit, I'm cramping her style. This is fine. She wasn't bothered. I'm just telling you that I saw my little girl from afar. Yeah. With her girlfriend at a little table, having like a girl's day. So cute. Oh.

Well, I thought it's funny because on Friday, the Friday we just spoke of. Yeah. When I came over to watch the movie, we all had dinner. and then we waited a minute because you had to go pick up Lincoln from a hang at a restaurant. Yes. And you left and I thought, I was like, God, I like had this visual of you driving up and picking up your daughter from a hang. And it was so, it's like, it's so cute and it's so, I like know the feeling so well. My dad dropping me off and picking me up at the, yeah, the mall or the movies or any of these things.

And like, you're him. Like, you're a dad that picks up their kids from hangs. It's so strange. And I'm trying to really enjoy it. And I'm successfully, I've just currently started really, really enjoying it. That's very fun. Yeah, yeah. I floated the whole right home.

But, yeah, there are just moments, you know, to get existential. But you know, like you can really. You know people in relation to you. Mm-hmm. And you can, of course, be empathetic and sympathetic and understand that they're other, they are themselves and their place in the world with other people. They exist without you in a sense. Yeah, but it's just very, like, then there are just certain moments that click.

They're, they're fleeting, right? But, like, that was a moment where I was like, yeah, he's just, he's just someone's dad. That's right. Like, it's so, you're just like. I'm a choke. Yeah, you're just someone's dad. I'm her a choke. Yeah.

Yeah. It's so wild. I know it's wild for me. I love it. You know, always in life you a little bit feel like you're playing a character. Yeah. And I do. I'm like, oh, I'm playing the character of a dad, you know.

Well, I'm just aware of exactly what you're saying. Like, oh, I'm a middle-aged man picking up my teenage daughter. Yeah. That feels like a character I once knew about. Right. But now I'm that character. I know. And so you have this awareness of exactly what you're saying.

I know what I look like. I look like a middle-aged man picking up his daughter or daughters. Yeah. And I don't know. I'm just aware of what that looks like. I have some level of self-awareness of it. And then just obviously the intrinsic feeling of it all. But those two things are chatting.

I know. It's just so, that's like Callie's mom and Callie's dad. Callie's mom and Callie's dad are still Callie's mom and Callie's dad to me forever, even though I'm 39 years old. And I'm an adult enough to like do adult things. with them, but like, we'll never be adults together. Their primary identity will always be the parent of your friends. Yes, and like that's you.

You're Lincoln and Delta's dad to like a lot of people. Yeah, and I think some parents get frustrated that their kids can't see them as people. Right. You know, it's my great regret, right, that I couldn't have better seen my dad as just a person and not my dad. Yeah. But I would say it should be embrace. because it's a very unique. It is.

Like, I don't think you're supposed to. No, I think you're supposed to embrace it and you're supposed to get yourself to enjoy. Oh, yeah. They look at me just like I looked at my parents. Yeah. And that's how it is. Yeah. And there's something about it that, you know.

Like, that shouldn't be messed with. Yeah, yeah. Like, it's not an accident that this is how it works. It's very strange. Yeah. But you want to go like, you realize you're driving me insane, right? I'm a normal person with a normal threshold. of...

But who can care? And you don't give a fuck if it's your parents. Just don't care at all. And nor should they. Okay, I have to out myself. Uh-oh. Because when we did Facts for Ash, and I was reading Phineas' response, and then I read my...

I read our exchange. Yes. And I used the phrase, waterproof evidence. Yeah. And then you said, is that a phrase, but I just moved on? Yeah. Yeah. And I let it go.

Thank you. Thank God. Yeah. And then I, after I was like, oh, yeah, that isn't right. It's watertight. So then I voice memoed you that. Uh-huh. And then you said that's all so wrong.

Well, I just said the popular, the colloquial term is airtight. Which like, I think water type makes sense, though. Because if you have a Tupperware and it's filled with water and you turn it upside down and it doesn't leak out that water, it's watertight. Yeah, and that's great. And I prefer that over some air leaking out. Okay, but I think if it's airtight, it'll be watertight. I just don't know. Because air is smaller than water.

So if air can't get out, then certainly water can't. It's like, you know, you're going to the nth degree. Okay. You're going to stick with watertight. That's fine. I think I like it. And you should. You're just not going to get that nostalgic knee jerk.

I see. Not of familiarity that you're looking for. Well, water. Like when you go like, no, this case is waterproof. People are going to be like, hmm, I wonder if she means, like, is that mean the same thing as airtight or does it mean something completely different? Waterproof was wrong. Yeah. But watertight.

But even watertight, I think. think if you say it, people will have to, they're not going to challenge you on it, like I didn't. They shouldn't. And then they're going to go, well, I assume about 60% that means the same thing as airtight. And also they're going to have some anxiety that water type means a completely different thing. Hopefully they just think it through and it causes them to like really think a little. And lose sight of what even you guys were talking about. Yeah, they think about the Tupperware filled with water turning upside down.

Oh yeah. I mean, I guess that makes sense. There's no water leaking. Yeah. And the water is the evidence. And it's also just interesting because mostly they're pitching things on being water resistant or waterproof, keeping water out. But you want a new, you want a new tradition where we talk about keeping water in. When we're talking about evidence leaking.

And we're talking about leaking. Because again, a ship you want to keep water out. I think it's because, yeah, we're talking about leaking. And when I think about leaking, I don't think about air. I think about water. Right. Nailed it I have a question for you

But I don't want to embarrass you Okay Okay Was it about my face? Yes Oh great great great great I was hoping it would come up on the The interview we did

No I was never going to bring that up on the interview Oh I would have been happy to Because I have a whole thing Because we went to an event last night We went to a charity event And I'm like oh there's going to be a red carpet I have my whole face is scarred up And then I was like what will I tell

If there's Well as it turned out luckily there wasn't any press, but it was a fundraiser, so I was expecting there to be pressed. And of course, I'm not even going to do an interview, but if somehow, sometimes they happen. Yeah, sure. And so I was prepared to say that I was operating a steel grinder, a metal grinder, and that the sparks dotted me. Okay. And I was going to say, hold on, I was going to lie knowing, the only reason I was looking forward

of this was to lie in that interview so that armcherry would have the inside scoop armchairs would go no that looks like the high for cater 2000 okay so for the listener who can't see or watcher you well i think if they're watching they can see um that you have spots all over all over your face yeah yeah yeah now it's called what well this was pointed out to me and i and i thank this commenter dermatologist wrote in about my high fricator. Oh, but that's not what you were calling. I wasn't. I was calling it something completely.

High sector. Yeah, yeah. I liked that. High fricator. And they taught me how to say it. Okay. And they said all in all, they weren't terribly worried. They thought that the pain would be a big enough dissuader to prevent any real damage.

Okay. Well, I think they might need to watch this episode. No, listen, this is what I did last round, if you recall. I had more last round. No. Yes, I had way more around my neck and shoulders I had a shirt on. Yeah, yeah, it's on my face. Even the tip of my nose, I got a little.

You see, I want it to put my nose. It's just a lot. You've done a lot. You've done a lot to your face. Yeah, yeah, it was so fun. I need you to be careful. And I think that this new thing is your new cutting hair anxiety thing. No, not yet.

I'll admit to it when that happens. I don't think you know it until a little later. No, cutting my hair as an anxiety release. is like I kind of can't pass a mirror without seeing something. Mm-hmm. Right? That's that pattern. Yeah.

This is like I was accumulating making mental notes for two months since I haven't been by my East Coast high for Keter 2000. Yeah. And so now I finally have gotten one on the West Coast. And it was sitting on my desk for a week. And all last week I wanted to use it so bad, but we were too busy. So Saturday came around. I was like, oh, finally, time for me and my hyfracator 2000. And so I set it up on my desk.

This one's even nicer. This one seems to have not been refurbished. I think it's brand new. And it came with tons of attachments. So it's the other one didn't it. This one's gorgeous. Okay. So I fire it up and I get to zap in.

And it's all, I've already clocked them all. Like, I'll just start digging around my hair to find shit. Uh-huh. This is I already had a laundry list of things that needed zapping. This was always coming. This is like two months out. Okay. And so, listen.

When I saw you today, when you first walked up, I was like, what has he done? Yeah. What is he doing? Yeah. It's great. In like three days, I'll have no hyperplasia anymore on my face. What even is hyperplasia? The next time, do dads, like skin clothes.

I've never, I have never noticed any of that on your face. You're not taking your index finger and rubbing. it across my forehead and scanning for bumps. I know, but you don't have any. Well, now I don't because I just zapped them all the Kingdom Come on Saturday. And a few. I got a, I got a whopper under my arm. That one I have been driving me insane for two months.

I'm like, fuck. Was it raised? There's a proper skin tag. Okay. That, I, okay, sure. Like, but whatever's happening on your face, no one notices. And yet here you are making like, you're so scabbed up. Yeah, I love it.

I don't mind it at all. And I've been imagined in the middle of the interview, I zoned out at one point. And I imagined, like, every day you come in and, like. Yeah, I'm just my whole face is a scab. It's an S&L sketch. That every day it's worse and worse. Progressively, yeah. I'm losing more and more sight of it.

Exactly. I wish to God, I wanted the interview subject to bring it up. He would never. Because I was going to tell him it was from a metal grinder. And then I wanted just, I just wanted to give the arm cherries of fun secret that they would they would go bullshit he was zap in his face that is not from grinding metal but the grinding metal would be a you would totally buy that because you know it's just showering sparks i have burnt myself using the metal grinder it's just showering sparks so they could

have landed and zap me yeah you could also maybe say like oil splatter from cooking yeah not not not not macho enough i need metal grinder yeah it's not mached enough instead of what it is yeah it was Vanity Central with six mirrors and all this lighting. I am using like shop lighting. I have this like really powerful rods that you put under the car to be able to see under there. So I'm, my desk is like it's a mix between is he building an engineer or ZZapping his face. Wow.

Well, my goodness. Thanks for noticing. I would have forgot to bring it up. And I'm happy to talk about it. I'm not embarrassed. Good. I mean, I don't want you to be embarrassed ever.

But I do want you to be a little careful with your face, okay? I'm being very careful. You have a nice face. You can just let it be. Well, no, because the gross will take over. You won't be saying that. Yeah, they get bigger and bigger. Okay.

Some facts. Yes. Ash facts. Okay. First things first. I have a text you got to tell me about? I asked Phineas and Claudia. I said, hi, I'm doing a fact check for Ash.

And Dach says he was the oldest non-family member at your wedding. Can you deny or confirm, please? Phineas. False. Exclamation point. False. And then. Who was older?

Zane Lowe, exclamation. How old is Zane? 53. 53. All right. And then I said, thank you. I will be setting the record straight. Okay.

He came back. Actually, also a guy named Paul who is 70. And then I said, great. This feels like waterproof evidence. Waterproof evidence. Is that an expression? Then he said, only guy with no shirt to be clear. Okay, so that's really the only thing I have no doubts about that.

Yeah. Okay. Also, though, she made a point because she brought up being at a table by Jason Sedakas. Yeah, yeah. And then she started to say, how old's the heat? But we moved on. Yeah. He's 51.

He's your age. When's his birthday? His birthday is on September 18th. Yes. So, I'm much older than him. Over nine months. Yeah. We were rounding up over a year older.

We're not rounding up. Don't need to. Nine months is an eternity. Hopefully you're going to explode. Is high cotton a bad phrase? The phrase in high cotton or tall cotton is not in, oh, I said, is high cotton, it filled in a racist term. So I let it answer that. Run with that?

Yeah. The phrase. in high cotton or tall cotton is not inherently racist as it originates from rural southern agricultural life to describe a successful harvest and financial prosperity, obviously. That's what you said. That's what it means. It's... You don't love that.

You know. Oh, Ash said birth control pills. She was like, which we now know are bad for you. Not necessarily true at all. No. So I did DM Dr. Mary Claire Haver. Yeah, great. She didn't respond.

No, yeah. In time. Yeah. So, um. I think she's a very busy woman. I think a lot of people, because I know Kristen's got an unanswered DM too. She is very busy. Yeah, so maybe on a fact check in 2027.

Yeah, well, we'll find out. But I just went to overall Google, you know. Birth control pills are generally safe and effective for most people, but they do carry potential side effects and rare risk depending on individual health factors. But like, it's not like an overall... The thing that she's talking about is the strokes. Is that? Or was she talking about having...

kids. I think she was kind of referencing because she said, I've been on it for 10 years and like, and she was talking about the kids thing. That's what it led to. Okay. I filled in the blank. I thought she was talking. The thing I always hear people panicked about is the strokes. That used to be a very common fear, but I haven't heard about that in a while.

But it actually can have some health benefits. It can lower cancer risk. Symptom relief, obviously, birth control can help with cramps and heavy bleeding. Skin benefits for some. Yep, exactly. Criticism of body keeps the score.

I think there's a school of thought that is if you're suggesting this is trapped in your body and you need to excavate it, but the excavation for people could be more damaging than not doing the excavation. I think that's, if I understand the pushback correctly, I think that's part of what it is. Now, look, as I've said, I love Body Keeps the Score. I think it's a great book. And again, what's probably true is that it's very accurate for certain people who have had really intense trauma.

and then there's probably other people who don't need to excavate, who excavating is not a good idea? You know, I don't know. But it's such a range of people with a range of conditions that to say one approach is going to work for everyone, naturally you're going to be able to find a subset that that's not the right thing to do with. Yeah, it says critics and journalists point out that the book can over-medicalized distress, inflate the definition of trauma, and ignore broader social, political, and structural forces behind violence. Some science writers also argue it misinterprets certain data or presents an overly bleak view of recovery.

Interesting. Yeah. That might be it. Yeah. That's it. Okay. That's his all. Love you.

Love you.