Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard - Camila Mendes

Episode Date: February 19, 2024

Camila Mendes (Riverdale, Upgraded, Música) is an actor and producer. Camila joins the Armchair Expert to discuss how young artists are often more vulnerable to the public, how much she has started to lean into her culture, and learning Alexander technique. Camila and Dax talk about what types of people they are attracted to, what it’s like to know a second language with a significant other, and how to balance family dynamics. Camila explains how she booked a TV show while still in acting school, how romantic comedies have changed, and how teasing someone can be a form of affection. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert. I'm Dax Shepard. I'm joined by Lily Padman. Hi. Hi. Very fun name to say today. Camila Mendes. It sounds good, doesn't it, Camila Mendes?

It sounds smooth. She's great. She's great, but the name is also really nice. Camila Mendes is an actor and producer. She, of course, was in 26 seasons of Riverdale. So many. Do Revenge, Dangerous Lies, Palm Springs, The Perfect Date. But she has a new movie out.

If you've been on Prime recently, as we have, you certainly have seen it. Upgraded, upgraded a new rom-com with Camilla. We had a party with Camilla. This was a really fun episode. It was a very sweet one. It reminded me of her best friend a little bit when she was here. Oh, Lily Reinhardt. Yes.

We've had a couple of younger actors on where I'm nervous it's not going to go well. Oh, also, ding, ding, ding, Easter egg. Duck, duck, goose. If you've heard me say Hollywood, wine o'clock, this is the birth of that. This is. In fact, you know, this episode hadn't come out, but I commented on one of her posts and wrote Hollywood in all caps, wine o'clock. And I'm like, there are so many people that are genuinely embarrassed for me. And so confused.

Yes. Also, if you heard us say puce, that's this episode as well. We started a lot in this episode. This is a fertile, fertile episode. It was really, really fun. And after you watch Upgraded and you fall in love with it, please also check her out in Musica on April 4th. Also on Prime Video.

Yeah. She'll keep you busy on Prime Video. Oh, yeah. We love this. Thanks for coming, Camilla. Thanks for coming. Trip Planner by Expedia. You were made to have strong opinions about sand.

We were made to help you and your friends find a place on a beach with a pool and a marina and a waterfall and a soaking tub. Expedia. Made to travel. He's an Outer Express He's an Outer Express He's an Outer Express

Hello! Welcome! It's so nice to He's about to spread hmm well monica's probably better no you're not not not like fashionably not habitually like probably one in five you're not i mean also this doesn't count this is so weird because it's like the house yeah yeah yeah but in normal life i've never been like late to a lunch to meet an executive or anything good for you it's solely rob's fault though oh this particular situation is all is all rob's fault no you Oh, okay. This particular situation. It's all Rob's fault. I think it's Squirrel's fault. No, you should have been. You should have anticipated the worst. We had Squirrel.

I'm a Silver Lake girly. Oh, I was going to say, what side of town are you on? Silver Lake. Yeah, that tracks. I'm moving to Studio City soon. To get a yard? Well, I'm moving with my boyfriend, so. And he already lives there.

Yeah, and he has a yard. But I actually have a yard too. Not that I ever go out there. Will you be keeping your home and renting it out? I highly recommend this. I will be keeping my home and moving my mom into the home. Oh, that's... Nice.

And when are you going to charge her for rent? Everyone's moving to Studio City. Are you? Well... I mean, I'm not. Okay. Don't worry. Yeah.

Monica's building a house right there. Yeah, this is terrible. I know, I heard. Okay, you already know. Yeah. For five years now. What's your sweatshirt? Boys get sad too.

Yeah. I told you a story about, we traveled on Christmas day and I got into a real dust up with three construction workers and I was wearing this. This past Christmas? They wouldn't let me go down this road.

I had passed the terminal, so I was like kind of panicked we were gonna miss the flight and I really wanted to go down this road. Camilla, you may enjoy this. I'm sure you've had some experience with toxic males like myself. So once I passed the terminal and I'm already very stressed going to the airport and they got the whole family and we're traveling. It was like the

kids, it's just stressful. And then, so I passed and I'm like, fuck, by the way, I didn't pass it. They had shut down parking area seven, which is where I was supposed to park. So now I'm looping around. It's Christmas day. It's a fucking mess. So now I'm panicked. I go to turn down the street, which I just watched someone turn down. And immediately three construction workers step in front of the car and it quickly escalates. It's Christmas Day. I'm wearing this sweatshirt that says boys get sad too. And, you know, it gets heated as it can get with me. This is like a movie that you're wearing that sweatshirt.

It is. In fact, it's too silly for a movie. You'd be like, this is a cheap, cheap joke. So, yeah, I get seated. I'm yelling. They're yelling. And then I drive away. They win.

I surrender. I'm a piece of shit, but then also I'm a bit self-aware. I'm like, these guys are going to be telling the story like, this guy had a pink sweater on that said, boys get sad too, yet he was so aggressive. This guy either was the wrong sweatshirt for him or you need a red one that says boys get mad exactly it says boys like to fight each other and duh yeah it was not the right outfit for that i love it i'm gonna guess minimally maybe you listened to lily's episode did you listen to of course reinhardt no i was telling monica I'm a diehard fan. Oh my God, it's so flattering. I was telling her that when my publicist was walking me through all the press that we're doing to promote my movie,

she's like, yeah, and then Dax Shepard. I was like, what? I freaked out. She's like, is that the thing you get the most excited about? I'm like, yes. Oh my God. I'm delighted. I love this.

I'm so happy to be here. We're so happy. It's the first podcast I ever started listening to. Oh, it is? This got me into podcasts. How long ago? This is self-indulgent, but I hope to make something out of it.

I wasn't that early. No, I was before Lily. When Lily told me she was going on, I was like furious. I'm like, what? Okay. I'm like, you get to do it first. I think I started during COVID

because we were in Vancouver filming for 10 months at a time and I had an hour commute to work every day and back. I was like seeking something more than just music on the way to work. And this was my introduction. Well, it's enormously flattering. And then also a curiosity stems from it. And this is where it gets a little self-indulgent.

But Lily also liked it. Nina really likes it. I'm just curious why the younger female actors seem to like it. And are we underserving them, I guess, is the ultimate question. How old are you? I'm 29. Okay. I just feel like younger people are more evolved.

Even we had Jenna Ortega, and she's just already so evolved that I think this is a draw. Working in the industry when you're young makes you grow up really fast. And there's a new crop. Like, your generation is speaking about things. The musicians are acknowledging their addicts in their songs, right? Yeah, totally. There's an openness. Sam Mendes, you share a last name with.

He was on them. Like this guy feels like he's- Sean, Sean. Sam Mendes. He's a great director, but Sean Mendes is the boy I'm speaking of. Great musician, Canadian. But yeah, he felt like he was 30 years into therapy at 24. This kind of your generation having some tools and some awareness and some willingness to, I guess, be vulnerable.

I think it's also a lot of people like actors in the industry have this thirst to dig deeper and get to know themselves and understand why they do the things they do. But I also feel like I know tons of people who aren't creative people who don't have as much interest in going to therapy. I just think maybe we see those people online a lot more, the ones that are very vocal and open. Yeah. I think too, though, you're right in that. I feel like artists over index. I think that's why they're able to access emotions. We just interviewed Juno Temple. Did you watch Fargo season five yet?

I didn't. We were just talking about it. You guys covered everything. I hope you were recording. We already recorded the episode. Yeah, we're done. You have to watch it. It's so good.

I know. It's a tour de force. Insane kind of. A tour de force. Yeah, a force majeure. She can access some stuff pretty quick and you don't have that when you want to on a set and then the rest of your life you're like no i'm as stable as they come i also think we were acting every day for 10 months we were in the habit of constantly emoting and digging deeper than the average person and also riverdale is a show that

was high drama all the time. Every scene, there's something like we're always making this face. And it's like, we're always brooding. So I think when you're living that every day, you're wearing your heart on your sleeve constantly. You're kind of raw and exposed. Even reading about the fact that you guys did seven seasons and you were doing 22 a year.

You really don't even read that anymore. No. I think maybe one season of Parenthood, we did 20 or something. We're the last of its kind. did seven seasons and you were doing 22 a year you really don't even read that anymore no i think maybe one season of parenthood we did 20 or something we're the last of its kind yeah like i think it ends with riverdale that network teen show right in a one hour show yeah which means the hours are insane what's an average day on that show the earlier seasons were definitely longer 16 hour days then it was like 13-hour days. That was the standard.

They kind of perfected the machine a little bit. Yeah, they kind of knew they couldn't get away with 22 episodes of 16-hour days. And how many days were the episodes? Seven or eight? Nine business days, and we'd have two tandem days. Tell me about tandem days. Tandem days is when there's two units going on at the same time. Sure, a sporting unit. So as you're finishing one episode,

you're also starting the next episode. You're so young, but you're kind of like a grandma in this industry because you know what it's like to shoot 22 episodes a year and those hours. It's like a bootcamp. It's training. I feel like I can do anything now. I'm glad you feel that way. Because similarly, my very first movie, we were in New Zealand and we were shooting very long days and we were in water that was like 39 degrees and we were freezing all day long and it was incredibly hard. I loved it. Best experience of my life. But everything after that has been easier. And that's a very nice way to go. The worst version would be like your first job's Modern Family. You're used to shooting six hours a day. Oh my God. Yeah, that's the dream. And then you join Riverdale. I know. And they got paid so much money. Oh, they made so much money. Yeah,

it's funny you say that because I just did Jesse Tyler Ferguson's podcast. Oh yeah. And it's hard not to think about how much money. I'm like, we're chatting, chatting, chatting. I'm fully connected. And then once in a while I'm like, yeah, three points of that show. You'll just doze off and think about. Of what a few points of that show is worth. Yeah. Are you ever distracted by that? Follow-up question. Yeah. These other young actors I know of your ilk, you're unique and wonderful and special, so I'm not

diminishing that. No, no, I don't. But a lot of these younger actors I'm friends with, they seem to know some billionaires. Do you know any billionaires? Oh, yeah. Okay, great. Wait, really? Have you been on a boat? This feels standard. What? Yeah. A hundred percent. I don't. Wait, really? This feels standard. What? Yeah. Why? A hundred percent.

I don't, wait, what? Too many. Well, because all these people are young tech billionaires, right? And they want to hang out with people. That's the thing with billionaires. They just want to be cool. Yeah. They want to have friends and they want to be liked.

They want to be movie stars. Yeah. I know. That's the irony of all this life. Everyone just wants to be somebody else. Yeah. But who do you know that's a irony of all this life everyone just wants to be somebody else yeah but who do you know that's we'll cut it out by the way we really cut everything out we're not scandalous at all i don't know you can say anything you want and we'll cut it out okay we'll ask you after okay yeah but the reason i'm asking if you know them is do you find yourself

distracted by it as well because even when we're interviewing like Brian Chesky who started Airbnb and it happened to know he has like 38 billion I know him of course yeah he's dialed in so every now and then when he's talking it crosses my mind like if he gave me a billion dollars he wouldn't notice yeah yeah yeah what that's crazy right someone could just give a billion and not even think about it and no because they'd be like did I have 37 or 39 whatever I have a ton of billions yeah like at that point you can't even comprehend the difference it and not even think about it? No, because they'd be like, did I have 37 or 39? Whatever, I have a ton of billions. Yeah, like at that point you can't even comprehend the difference. It's not even real anymore. Money is not real. It's just a concept. You're just

mildly tracking it. Yeah. Or, we know Bill Gates. You know Bill Gates? Yes, we've interviewed him twice. He's flown to do a live show. He did this podcast? Yeah, twice. I need to listen to that episode. He flew to Seattle's flown to do a live show. He did this podcast? Yeah, twice. I need to listen to that episode. He flew to Seattle to join us on a live show on a stage in front of 3,000 people. Obsessed.

What a party animal. Yeah. I couldn't believe it. Who do you get nervous interviewing? Great question. Letterman. Oh my God, yeah. Hyper idols of mine, but more often it is Sapolsky, this genius professor who's written my favorite book. Like hyper intellectual people that you're like, I want to keep up with you and be on your level. I don't want to be the dumb dyslexic kid. I really want them to think I'm smart, which is a terrible

motivation to have, but I have it. And maybe their topic is really dense too. So I've got to research it and be able to have an understanding. You got to do your homework. Exactly. So those tend to be the ones. Would you agree? Who do you get nervous around? Matt Damon? Obviously. Your childhood loves of your life. Your soulmate.

Your twin flames. My twin flames. Yeah. I've been nervous a few times. He's probably the most. I think I was nervous for Letterman because I was nervous for Dax. Yeah. Nervous by proxy.

It meant so much to him. This was such a big deal that I felt like, oh my gosh, I just hope this goes the way he wants it to go. Oh, that's sweet. GP made her nervous, I do recall. Oh, yeah, Gwyneth Paltrow. Oh my God. Gwyneth P. The goop entrepreneur.

I'm obsessed with Gwyneth Paltrow. Did she make you nervous? Have you seen her in real life? Do you feel like you've got a tinkle when you think about interacting with her? I don't know. Okay. Maybe not. Can you think of someone who does make you? Oh yeah, I'm sure I can. I'm just terrible when people put me on the spot with things, so then 20 minutes from now we'll be talking about something and I'll be like, oh, that's someone that would make me nervous. Perfect. And that is obviously, as you would know, the vibe of the show, so you're free to bring that up at any time.

Did you have a childhood idol? Did you have a childhood? Have you ever been a child? Kind of a fair question. Yeah, honestly. Did you have someone that you were like, that's the actor I want to be? Who was it and have you met them?

Yes, it was Rachel Bilson from The O.C. because I loved that show as a teenager. I've met her multiple times and I always tell her, she's like, no, I remember. But she's so sweet. She gave me her number. She's like, call me whenever, like if you want to chat. I was like, yes. Do you know

WabiWab produces her podcast? You do? And he's often in the videos with her and he's a better actor than all of us. I was invited to go on the podcast but I couldn't go because I was filming but I'm like totally go now. videos with her and he's a better actor than all of us i was invited to go on the podcast but i couldn't go because i was filming but i'm like totally go now just spend it out there spend it out there is only second podcast ever i've only done one before this i listened to the other one okay homework you were great thanks she talks about mental health in a very casual relatable

way it feels like you're just talking to like another girl. There's something really nice about that. And she's a teacher of some type? Because she was saying, oh no, I'm getting confused. She was saying the students in her class were products of divorce at a rate of 80%. But I, for a second, thought she meant her own students. But now I'm remembering she just meant her classmates. Maybe you're confusing it with me saying that I took a children of divorce class in college. That was when you were talking about it.

And then she said that in her high school, 80% of the people she was in high school with felt high. It's a very good memory, Dex. I'm impressed. Oh, thank you. It's pretty fresh. Don't get too excited. That's why he was late.

He's like, divorce, got it. Can we go back to Charlottesville? Let's start in Charlottesville, Virginia. Well, I don't have much of a memory because I was like one when I moved out of Charlottesville. But didn't you move back? I did also for like a year. You moved 16 times? Yeah.

So we share this in common. Yours were more dramatic. Charlottesville, Atlanta, Charlottesville, Brazil, Orlando, South Florida. Okay, so when do your memories start of getting uprooted and how did you deal with it? I don't actually remember having a conversation about moving until I was like a preteen. When we were leaving my neighborhood in fifth grade,

I was devastated. But at that point, we were already in South Florida. So the move wasn't that drastic, but I was leaving the school. I was moving an hour away, but that was the hardest part was just saying goodbye to my friends. Okay, here's a fun question. It's a machine gun Cali one. What place do you say is home? Because I have a place I say that's home, but I was only there for three years.

Miami and Fort Lauderdale, I'd say. Just South Florida, really. Because it's all kind of one big city. When I moved to South Florida in fifth grade, I was actually in Coral Springs, which is where Marjorie Stoneman Douglas is, the school with the shooter and everything. What's the vibe down there? My sister went to that school and she was like, she wasn't very happy there. She was older. I never went there. And then in sixth grade, I started at one school and I stayed there through senior year. So I stayed at the same school for that duration, which was like six years, even though I moved a lot while I was there. Like I stayed in one apartment that I moved in with my

dad and my mom went to Brazil and then she came back and then I moved back in with her. There was a lot of long car rides, long bus rides. How did you entertain yourself? It was the radio? Music. Did you also love South Florida? Because obviously there's a huge Latino vibe there. You're finally like in a bump into some Brazilians probably. It took me so long to embrace my Brazilian culture when I was younger. I didn't wear it proudly for a long time. Yeah. Oh yeah. I'm like still working on it. Yeah. I was in the South for a lot of my childhood and I know South Florida is still the South, but it's not, it's like Latin America. But in Georgia and Virginia, we had some family friends that were Brazilian. So I did have a little bit of that presence.

But for the most part, all my friends were white Southern girls. And so I didn't ever really have anyone to share my cultural identity. I wouldn't even argue you're incentivized to not. Exactly. Also because guys didn't have a crush on me. I was like the unibrow hairy girl with glasses. Guys did not like me. I remember there was a girl sarah corn her last name was corn and she had the blondest of blonde hair with blue eyes and i was like if i were only sarah corn exactly shout out share corn i'd love to

share share share share corn with me where in atlanta where are youpharetta. I'm from Duluth. Oh, cool. Literally neighbors. I don't know what that is though. It's the same essentially. Was Johns Creek a thing yet? Is that the school? No. Johns Creek is an area, but it's a piece of Alpharetta. Oh, okay. Because I remember my school was called something creek.

It's like Big Creek, Old Creek Elementary, something like that. Chattahoochee Creek? A lot of creeks. I like Chattahoochee Elementary. Very, very close. Yeah, so you were Indian and you were Brazilian. And both of your parents immigrated here. Exactly. Both of them together.

At what age were they? I actually don't know. Because my dad went to college in Brasilia, but then went to University of Tokyo for grad school. And then my mom went with him. Degree in? Mechanical engineering. Oh, I'm so horny for that. Guess what?

Monica's father. Really? Structural engineer. I think it's a big immigrant thing. It is. They love engineering over there. I have so many engineers in the family. Yes, and I had two engineer stepdads.

And at the risk of offending them, there's a vibe. I think if you're going to be already from a different culture, that's the dream environment. Because everyone's talking numbers. They're getting onto brass tacks. It's not sales. It's not public relations. if you're going to be already from a different culture that's the dream environment because everyone's talking numbers they're getting onto brass tacks it's not sales it's not public relations it's not marketing it's like you have a skill set that largely exists in math and so the cultural differences are probably very much mitigated by the task at hand yeah well also just practically i know for indians it was because that's how you could get a job here. Engineering or computer science.

Yeah. If you wanted a work visa, that's the move. Yeah, you had to. Yeah, my dad started in GE and then worked his way up really fast in GE. Very great company. Yeah, and that's why we were in Charlottesville, Virginia, because that's where GE was at the time. My father-in-law was just making a very hard sales pitch for me to check out the GE monogram series of ranges and ovens. He swears they're the best in the world. And this was a two hour sales pitch. Wow. I've never heard someone that loved a product more than if he loves his monogram series. You should try it. Well,

we're pot committed. We got this ridiculously expensive French thing that I hate. I fucking hate. We're not going to disparage it. Okay. We're not going to disparage it. It is impossible to use. I'm so glad you guys got it because I would have bought it for my house because it's gorgeous. What's the appeal? It's beautiful. It's just beautiful. I'll give it that.

It's the centerpiece of the house. Right. And it's astronomically expensive. And to light the burner, you have to hold it for 25, 30 seconds. I'm too scared to use it. Yeah, it's dangerous. So the monogram by GE, apparently very friendly. User friendly.

Thank you so much. I'm glad you come from this background. Did you ever go to work with that at GE? No, I didn't. Did he end up being like a manager of things? I'm totally going to butcher his story, but I know that he quickly got promoted to higher positions and then eventually started working for a completely different company that had nothing to do with engineering. And he just became like a CEO. He like transferred over into corporate world in business.

Is he a babe? Who of your parents is a babe? Because you're so objectively attractive. They're both objectively attractive. They are. I want to see the mom. I'm sure you do that. I do. I want to see the mom. I'm sure you do, guys. I do.

I happen to think Brazilian girls are cool. Oh, really? She's single. Let's get her on the FaceTime. She's like a really bubbly personality. We're probably the same age. No. How old is she?

She's 60 almost. Yeah. No. She's going to kill me for saying that. She's 59. Okay, great. Great, great. That's nothing. That's a 10-year gap me for saying that. She's 59. Okay, great, great, great. Well, that's nothing. That's a 10-year gap.

I'm 49. I'm 49. Let's follow up on this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And what did she do? And did they know each other in Brazil or did they meet here? They met when they were 14 in Brazil. So they were high school sweethearts who stayed together.

She went to Japan with him when he graduated school. And she was a housewife for most of her life. And then recently, you know, my parents divorced a long time ago. You were eight? Homework. Homework, dad. It's been done. The homework has been done.

Yeah, I was eight years old. And it wasn't until college that my mom started training to be a flight attendant. So now she's a flight attendant. Awesome. Oh, my God. This would be the dream if I bump into her up at 30,000 feet. Maybe. If you travel American, she'll be there. Tell people that you're her daughter. Oh, yeah. This would be the dream if I bump into her up at 30,000 feet. Maybe. If you travel American, she'll be there.

She must tell people that you're her daughter. Oh yeah. No, she does. Like if anyone's watching my show, she'll be like, that's my daughter. Good for her. How fun for her. I know. No, and she's like a celebrity at American Airlines.

Like people know, they know that she's my mom. Yes. And she loves it. I love that for you. I would bump into her. So my mother, she had this business and it did public relations

for General Motors and they would have these big events. One of them being GM would sponsor Sundance. So they would provide transportation for all the actors that were in town.

My mother was there with her business and she was regularly driving and I cannot tell you how many people I have bumped into in the years that were like, oh yeah, we haven't met.

But your mom drove me in Sundance. And I heard all about. Why didn't she drive me at Sundance? She probably did. Well, I guess you'd remember because she would have told you she was. But it's funny because when I hear about your mom doing it, I love it. And I love it for her and you. But with my mom, I was a little embarrassed.

She's basking in the attention. Good for her. Even parenthood. When I met Peter Krause, first thing he said to me is like, I know your mother really well. I rode with her three times in Sundance. She told me your whole story. Oh my God.

I have yet to have someone meet my mother before they meet me. I do wonder if I've met her. Maybe. She has like gray hair. She let her natural hair grow out. She's like embracing aging. I think it's beautiful.

I love that. She works first class cabin. Okay. I don't know how to say it in English, but she says, she's like chef de cabine, which means cabin chief maybe, or manager of the cabin. Like queen of the cabin. Yeah. She's queen of the cabin.

That's the formal term. I love this for her. I love her. Yeah. I was going dictator of the cabin, but queen of the cabin is much better. And what's her route? Well, right now she's commuting from Arizona. Well, she's about to live here. So she moved to LA, but it's really hard to transfer to

the American Airlines base in LA. It's a highly desirable base. And tell me why. Because everyone wants to live in LA. Well, that would be my guess. But also, what's tricky is, I imagine the salaries are based across the nation. But LA is just a lovely place to live for a lot of people. Yeah, and if your daughter is Camila Mendes, you get a house.

She was in Miami before, which was a great base, and she got a lot of good flights going out of there, especially to Brazil. She was living with my sister for a long time. My sister finally moved out and is now living in Ireland with her husband. So my mom's an empty nester. She doesn't have a husband. She's like, why am I here in Florida when I could be in LA with my daughter? Yeah.

So. How old's your sister? She's 33. Okay, so this is comforting because even though you were moving around a lot, you minimally had her. Are you guys tight? We're tight.

We're both terrible at texting. We don't have that kind of dynamic where we are texting and calling all the time. But when I see her, we're like sharing tons of stories. You know, we're super open with each other. But she's also four years older than you? I was starting high school when she went to college. Right.

So like not around for most of my high school experience. Did you like her boyfriends? We have very different types. Okay. And what's her type? She's like, my sister's a... No, it's fine. I don't know that she also has like...

Maybe it's not. Maybe I just pressured you. It sounds like it's not. But I have an answer. I have an answer., it's fine. I don't know that she ultra. Maybe it's not. Maybe I just pressured you. It sounds like it's not. But I have an answer. I have an answer. And it's that she. Well, because I know your type, or at least I know who you're dating currently. Do you know my type?

I think I do. It's all over the place, though. Okay, let's hear it. No guy that I've dated is the same, I feel. I bet you they have a quintessential quality that you're attracted to. Maybe. Let's talk about your sister's type first. Maybe some of them.

But my sister's type. More importantly, my sister's type. I'd say she likes a nerd because she's kind of nerdy herself. She's so fucking smart. My sister is a little genius and I feel like she needs someone who can keep up with her in that way.

So I'd say she likes more introverted, smart guys. Yeah, I like that about her. I love her. She was a gamer girl for a long time. She was really good at League of Legends. She's in that world. Uh-huh. I got my arms around what I think she is and who she likes. You know everything about her. Who I like or my sister? Your sister. Because my fear was you're gonna go like who's my sister like and in your head you're like she likes dumb dumb jocks.

And then you were like, how am I gonna to say this in a non-offensive way? But this was ideal. I love when girls like nerds. Yeah. Nerds run the world. I love nerds. Billionaires. Yeah.

Back to billionaires. They're all nerds. It all goes back to billionaires. Wait, so your type. Let's find the three lines. I don't think there is one. I really don't. Funny?

Are they all funny? Definitely funny. But I've dated non-funny guys. Oh, how boring. Didn't work out. Yeah, I know. If you can't make me laugh, it doesn't last. But your current boyfriend, Rudy? Very funny.

Of course. Successful as someone who's funny. Do you know her boyfriend? I know who he is. Okay, back to eight. We were on something. We were talking about moving around a lot. We were talking about what's home, and home is South Florida, Miami, Fort Lauderdale, and Georgia, kind of running from your Brazilian-ness.

Oh, that's what it was. Being in the theater department in high school, I could see how me being Latino was limiting. And so I would literally wear sunscreen all over my body in high school. Oh, boy. Our school was kind of outdoors. It almost was like a campus. A lot of exposure. So I was always in the sun, and I get tanned really easily.

So then I was like, I need to wear a constant sunscreen. I mean, in a way, it's very good for your skin. It is good for your skin. You got ahead of the game. But it was motivated by a desire to have lighter skin. Did you think for a second when she said that about the sunscreen that she was trying to make her skin white? Oh, no, did you?

Yeah. Oh, wow. For a second, I thought that. And you wanted to hang it on. Oh, no, did you? Yeah. Oh, wow. For a second. And you were hanging on me? I just wondered if you thought that. But also, when I was a teenager, there weren't that many opportunities for Latina actresses. So I think this has changed a lot.

Part of that has helped. I feel like I'm so appreciative and I embrace my culture so much now. What was the year you lived in Brazil like? In what city were you in? I was in Brasilia, which is the capital. I loved it. It was the first time I got to live close to my extended family and see them regularly. But Brasília is not really a representation of Brazil because it's so man-made. It's so new. It was built in the 60s. If you look at it from a

bird's eye view, it's structured like an airplane. It's very organized. Every street is like block B, block G. There's not much charm to it. I mean, there is to me because that's what I'm familiar with. So I see the beauty in it. And I think it's so fascinating to have a city like that. I just think it's really interesting. Because it's modern, obviously.

Very modern. And what age were you when you lived there? I was 10, 11. And obviously when you were there, I'm assuming the people that lived there saw you as an American. I'd say so. I went to the school called Escola Americana de Brasília, which is an American school in Brasilia. So because Brasilia is the capital, everyone that went to that school, their dad or mom or whoever worked at the embassy, it was like an international school. So I was surrounded by people from all over the world. I didn't necessarily feel like a fish out of water there because everyone was a fish out of water. And how were you doing like moving around

through the streets of Brasilia? Brasilia is so safe and chill. It's not like other cities in Brazil. Right. Not like Rio de Janeiro. There's definitely still violence and things happen. And you already spoke Portuguese, I presume. Yeah, and then this made my Portuguese stronger and better because then I was learning grammar and speaking it regularly. So I feel like now my level of Portuguese speaking is so much stronger. Two questions. Which do you prefer speaking? Like if you got to only speak one of the languages for the rest of your life and everyone be able to understand what you're saying, what would it be?

I mean, I have to say English because it's such a universal language. But in this scenario I'm painting, you're communicating with everyone. Okay. Then Portuguese. Absolutely. I love speaking Portuguese. Just my English is stronger. Yes.

I feel more confident. I feel funnier in English. I feel like I'm more myself in English. I don't get to practice my Portuguese often enough to feel like it's a representation of who I am when I speak. Because to me, it appears to be like if you gave me the choice between driving a Ferrari and a Land Rover, the musicality to the language. I mean, things are popping. There's a flow. I would way prefer to speak that. There's a lot more expression in Portuguese. There's a lot more emotion. Anytime me and my mom get in a fight and I'm speaking in English, she's like, can you speak Portuguese, please?

She's like, when you're speaking English, you sound like a robot. She's like, I feel like there's no emotion in your voice. That's crazy because I feel like there is. But when I'm speaking in Portuguese, she feels like there's a warmth in the way that I speak that maybe when I'm fighting in English, I don't have. Phonically, it sounds more passionate, more romantic, more everything. Yeah. Now I'm dating Rudy and he is Brazilian. So for the first time ever, I'm dating someone who I can speak Portuguese with.

And it's amazing because now there's like a whole side of me that was like dormant. Yes. That I didn't get to bring out and show people. Yes. And now I get to share that with him. And we make jokes in Portuguese all the time. It's like we have our own little language together. Yes.

Monica's going to erupt in flames with this question. But during the lovemaking, we must be speaking Portuguese, right? Absolutely not. Oh, English. I also, I, oh. No. Really? No.

Oh, my God. Would you laugh? Doesn't that seem natural? But it's not. It's still not my dominant language, though, you know? It's a big swing. I don't even know what I would say in Portuguese. Remember, I learned Portuguese from my family.

I don't know what I would say. How about, okay, forget lovemaking, but how about just when things are getting romantic and you guys are having a drink together in the evening, we'll transition into Portuguese and that is more connected and more emotional. Yeah, we speak Portuguese with each other a lot. Okay. What percentage will we say? I'll be realistic. I'll say it's like 30%.

That's great. And then, incredibly, every time you're around people, you guys can openly gossip about people right in front of them. Totally. What a superpower for a couple to have. But it's also, as soon as you do that, people kind of know there must be something you're hiding. They can feel it. Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, if you dare. Sasha hated sand, the way it stuck to things for weeks.

So when Maddie shared a surf trip on Expedia Trip Planner, he hesitated. Then he added a hotel with a cliffside pool to the plan. And they both spent the week in the water. You were made to follow your whims. We were made to help find a place on the beach with a pool and a waterfall and a soaking tub and, of course, a great shower. Expedia. made to travel. You know how like couples have a voice? Like you have like the way that you speak when you're being cute with each other. We switch to Portuguese when we do that. We have like an inside joke of speaking Portuguese and And in a way, it's

kind of mocking our family in a loving way. We hear the way they speak to us. So we speak that way to each other. It's like an inside joke. Yeah. Because if you think about when you're in public with your partner, half of what you're doing is like connecting, like, oh my God, you hear that? Yeah. You have a very specific look on your face. It's the nudge of the knee. So to have like a language you could actually articulate. I also am proud of you because if you grew up trying to stifle that part,

to now choose a partner where that's a big part of your life and to bring it back out and understand that it's okay. Totally. That's a big arc. It's like we can understand each other in ways I've never felt understood,

especially around family and the relationship to family. I think Americans have a lot of boundaries with family. I've struggled in therapy to talk about this because Brazilian mothers and, you know, Rudy made a movie about this that's going to come out, Música, in April. And in the movie he talks about it has to do with having these overbearing Brazilian mothers who just love too hard. And that's very normal in Brazil. You're very attached to your family and therapists will be like,

you got to draw the line. They really enforce the boundaries, but it doesn't work. It just doesn't work. I'm like, but do you understand Brazilian families? This doesn't apply here. And I can't fight it. Resisting it is making it worse.

Yeah. They had a boundaries vaccine. Yeah. They're completely inoculated from boundaries. My mom was like, boundaries. Boundaries are toxic. She might be right, by the way. No.

Boundaries aren't for you. But I think Rudy has helped me embrace that type of familial dynamic because he experiences it too when we can connect over that and make peace with it instead of fight it. And I bet there's so much more understanding for what each person's going through with their family and tolerance when the other person's family's around. And helping each other exercise patience. Yeah. You know? Was he born there or here? He was born in New Jersey.

Okay, great. And both of his parents also? His dad's Italian. Oh, wow. And his mom's Brazilian. But yeah, they both immigrated. This is a passion atomic bomb. Oh, yeah.

Wow, wow, wow. I want to see him fly off the handle or something. What's his type? Let's talk about his types now. A fire extinguisher? You just said something that was intriguing. Oh, I think we could- That she's proud of me?

She is proud of you. Our very close friend Ana is Venezuelan. So I think we could stereotype here. The whole Latin family world is so much closer in, I think, a very enviable way. I think it'd be a big pain in the ass at times, but overall, I think

that's what a family should be. Very special. Yeah. It's a support system. It's a community of people. And I'm so envious of my family that lives there because when I go visit in Brazil and I see my family, they have the closest relationships and they see each other every weekend. Like there's such a family vibe there. Sometimes I'm like, oh, I wish I had that. Well, in COVID, Ana would get on these Zoom calls with like 16 members of her family. They'd all get hammered. They'd be on a Zoom call for like six hours. They'd be partying together. And I'm like, fuck, that seems fun. And her girlfriend just went with her to Spain for a family wedding. And she came back and she was like, I'm so jealous of that. Like what happens

when they're all together. I noticed that too because I think it's a lot of places, not just Latin countries, but Indian families are like that too. It's super tight and everyone's living with each other until they're old. I have distanced myself so much from it that I can see it from a bird's eye view.

America is so closed off, family wise. The WASP-y Protestant history. Yeah. The English. you america is so closed off family wise well the waspy protestant history yeah the english we'll go to england everyone's still like so polite that you send your children off to college at 18 sometimes i'm like 18 years they're so baby and then they're gonna live by themselves that's crazy yeah but i did it i guess i'm fine that was my next question how long before you got into tish you went to NYU Tisch. That's where my wife went.

Oh, really? I didn't know that. She did musical theater. Big fan of your wife. Well, I'll pass that along to her. I'm hoping some of these things still occurred there that I've learned occurred while she was there. When did you set your sights on it and what was the fantasy? I had wanted to go there for a long time.

But I also wanted to go to UCLA, but I didn't get in. Oh, well, I can't wait to report this to my wife because we fight all the time. Because Dax went to UCLA. You went to UCLA. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a very good school. Go Bruins. But I did a summer program there when I was 17, like an acting program. Oh, fun. And I was like, I need to go to this school. Like, I was so excited, but I recognized how difficult it was to get in, especially when you're not a California resident. And out of high school. I could have never got in out of high school. I transferred.

But I mean, I'm glad I went to NYU because I got to study acting with a BFA and not a BA. The BA, I would have had a lot more gen eds. Even the amount of gen eds I had at NYU, I was like, I'm over it. Okay, so if you do a BFA, you don't have to do all these prerequisite. It's a Bachelor of Fine Arts versus just a Bachelor of Arts. There's less of all the math and all the regular stuff you have to take.

It was more concentrated, and I still had certain requirements, but not as much. NYU is a better school for liberal arts education. We love a liberal arts education. I love a liberal arts education. I remember I had gotten to Emerson on a full ride, and my dad was really stoked about that. And then I got the NYU acceptance letter with no scholarship.

Right. Oh, shit. And he's like, yay. I'm so proud of you. You're killing me. Yeah. God, that's an expensive school. I know.

It's insane. What is it? Like $40,000 or something? No. I know. It's insane. What is it? Like 40,000 or something? No. Try double that. A semester. Oh, okay. It's probably like in the 120th.

A semester. It's 80 grand a year. Maybe more. Pretty much, yeah. Do you know how much UCLA was in 2000? In state. You're saying in state. Obviously.

How much was it? $3,800. In state though. What? $3,800. In state though. What? $3,800. Are you kidding? I got a full degree from there for under $8,000. That's insane.

If you were out of state, it would have been, I don't know. Do you remember how much it was out of state? It was significantly more, but I want to say it was in the high 20s. I don't know what it is now. That's a time. That was a long time back when your mom and i were in college what's her number what's her type she like white boys tall white boys i cannot wait to be on american airlines i know i will be i'm willing it into my life just fly

out of phoenix next time i'm gonna be up in that fucking right by the toilet where they hate when people congregate. I'm going to be up there shooting the shit and giggling and laughing for the whole flight. People are going to be like, what is this guy doing? You're going to have Riverdale on the whole flight. Yes, I'm going to make sure. They're like, have you seen Giselle Mendes? I'm glad for you that you didn't go to UCLA because I think if anyone ever has an excuse to live in New York for a moment of their life, fuck that education, fuck whatever. I'm very envious of that.

I'm so happy I went to school there. Did you land and just go like, oh my God, this is my life. I'm in a storybook. Especially coming from Miami because I already kind of had a little bit of a party phase at that time as I was graduating high school. And then I went to New York. Yeah. And I was like a kid in a candy store. But in a way that it was like destructive for the first year.

Oh, good. I like to hear that. But then I got my shit together. Just because there were so many clubs and parties. Yeah. Oh, my God. I lived it up freshman year. Because you could.

Yeah. Big city. But I had acting classes to go to. And I was like hungover. Yeah, the bar's closed at 4 a.m. there. Yeah. I wouldn't have lived if I lived there, there actually because just when i would go there to do press it was almost life-ending every time because it just never stops it's so stimulating oh it's so fun yeah okay now here's the weird questions that i am most amused by my wife's education there she explained to me we were walking down the street and she's like, oh, I used to go to that building and do Alexander technique. And I'm like, what the fuck is

Alexander technique? And she goes, I'm surprised they allowed it. We were in our sweatpants and we would lay on top of each other and we would like breathe in each other's mouths. And like tremble. Yes. And the boys would be erect. Of course. They're like 19 year old boys and they're laying on girls. Are they still teaching Alexander technique? A hundred percent they are. Oh my God. They love Alexander technique. Walk us through teaching Alexander? A hundred percent they are. Oh my God. They love Alexander Technique.

Walk us through what a normal class in Alexander. Well, okay. You know how NYU Tisch has different acting studios that you can go to? I don't, but I know there's a musical theater one. Your wife was in a musical theater. Yep. I was in one called Playwrights Horizons.

So each studio had its own curriculum and they did things differently. I never had a straight Alexander Technique class, but we did dabble in it. It's part of any movement class. I never had a straight Alexander Technique class, but we did dabble in it. It's part of any movement class. I feel like you learn Alexander Technique. You'd gather in the morning and then the teacher would be like,

all right, let's start moving. Yeah, I'm pretty sure this was Alexander Technique. My memory might be mistaken, but basically we would lie down and try to find the tremor in your body. You would try to find the push and pull of your knee. You know what I mean? Oh, my God.

The sweet spot between. And that would be how you release tension. Yeah. And then, like, people would start crying and laughing. Because it's like when we do it in our hips in certain areas and you'd find the tremor there. Trauma would be released. Yeah.

And people would be like, crying hysterically. Oh, wow. I felt like people were making that oh yeah a hundred percent that was happening people would cry and stuff in movement class oh you're saying you thought people were making yeah like because i also did some acting and in those classes people would cry and i in my head because i'm a double virgo i didn't know it then but i was i was like they're lying they're forcing this to be so the teacher will like that it's a performance exactly i'm not we're so similar in that way it's like if i'm not experiencing it it's not real

you're faking it because if it were real i'd be experiencing it but it's crazy because it's eighty thousand dollars a year for. To have a good cry. And you're just like trembling on the floor in your sweatpants. And they're like, all right, good luck paying off your debt. Exactly. You graduated from NYU? I did. And the timing was insane.

So I finished classes a semester early. But then I wasn't going to graduate until May of 2016. Between me finishing classes and May 2016, I booked Riverdale and shot the pilot. And then we found out we were getting picked up a few weeks before I graduated. And then I had Yankee Stadium graduation. That's where people graduate? Which is that thing that network TV does. And then Radio City Music Hall graduation for Tish. Upfronts were perfectly sandwiched between the two. Oh, wow.

So I got to do all three and not have to sacrifice any of that. So clearly you had an agent while you were at college. How did you get called in for Riverdale? And they saw people in New York, obviously. Yeah, they did. They were nationwide. It was crazy. I interned for a talent agency when I was a junior.

Which one? A really, really small one. Carson Kolker. Very trusted brand. Yeah. They were really small. There was like three people in the office. And so would you submit yourself to things as you were working on a desk? No, but I started to get a lay of the land and I was like, oh, this is how it works. And these are the little breakdowns. And I would see the breakdowns and be like, I'd be good for that. Yeah. I could play a 31 year old Jewish mom. When you're starting out, you can play anything. I could play 40, I could play a 31-year-old Jewish mom. When you're starting out, you can play anything.

I could play 40, I could play 16, you name it. I snuck my way in there because I told the guy who was hiring me, I was like, yeah, I'm really interested in the other side of the business. And then he brought me on, and then I got to see how these things are run. And then at the end of my internship, I was like, hey, totally not a big deal if you say no, all good, but would you be down to audition me? Yeah. And they were like, absolutely. Because at that point, we'd created a friendship. Yeah, they liked you. And so I auditioned for them. And then that's how I

started working. And when you took that internship, if we're being fully honest now, was your intention to get represented by them? Honestly, no. I think I just needed experience. I was doing classes at NYU during the summer and I wanted to also gain some work experience while I was there. It started off genuinely just me wanting to understand more about the business. And then as I was there, I was like, I wonder if they'd sign me. And then I realized, you know what? I actually think maybe they would. Well, I think if you're in the non-acting world, you might think, oh, yeah, you get an agent. And then for me, I couldn't get an agent. I didn't get an agent for like four years.

Finally. No, I can't imagine. When I was performing at the Groundlings every Sunday, I finally got an agent. The agent was so bottom of the barrel. They literally went bankrupt while I was shooting the pilot of Punk'd. I was like, where are my checks? Then I come get a hold of the woman and then they were straight up chapter 11.

That's who I was represented by. That's the benefit of school sometimes is they do like the showcases and also applying for a job or an internship. They're like, oh, NYU, okay. That's really what you're paying for. That's what the 80 grand a year gets you. Which is a leg up. But I also think if you met

an Endeavor agent in a bar and said, look, I'm about to spend 240 grand at NYU, I'll give you 180 grand to represent me. It might be cheaper. That's not a bad idea. I wonder if anyone's tried that. I'm about to dump a quarter mil on this. Would you rep me for 100

grand? God, I should have done that. I know. I just didn't have the $100,000. We didn't think that one through. No. I had $3,800. What if I said, I'm about to go to UCLA, but I'll give you $3,800 to represent me. I have a question.

When did, because you said you didn't think you were pretty, or? And when did you realize you were a 10? Wait, wait, hang on. When did I say that? Okay. Didn't you say that? Yeah, you said you're a big unibrow and you're a hairy monster when i was in elementary school yeah for sure and you felt like oh gosh there's all these sarah corn sarah corn shout out sarah corn she did it again i can't say it could never be with her but when did you

realize that i was pretty yeah i mean really mean, really. That you were hot. I'm curious. This is a hard question to answer, but we're forcing you to. No, no, no. I think I was in sixth grade. Yeah. Because I started waxing my legs and my unibrow. You waxed your full leg?

Yeah, I started young. I had a lot of hair on my legs. I know, but that's so time. And I had a full unibrow. Like, it was time. Okay. They're kind of back, though. No, 100%.

Yeah. Have you thought about- You grow them out. Did you electrolysis it at this point like laser yeah no not they call it that anymore laser okay they call it laser electrolysis sorry i'm your mom's age my gray hair no i actually was talking about that with someone the other day i was like maybe i should laser this because i have to tweeze here constantly. And someone's like, why don't you just laser? And I was like, well, what if it comes back

in style to have a unibrow? And they're like, Kimmy, that's not going to happen. Well, not maybe full, but I don't believe that. I even noticed my good friend Mae Whitman,

she started kind of wearing her eyebrows where it was coming around more like Frida Kahlo. I just think my eyes are too close together that if I do that, it'll bring them in more.

You'll look like a cyclops. I'll look a little cross-eyed. Okay. Yeah. And maybe you'll become cross-eyed because you'll start focusing on the hairs that you can see. Unibrow, I feel really certain that in my lifetime, they're not coming back. I don't think so. A unibrow, thick brows, yeah. And maybe like almost connecting, but not connecting. No, I don't think so. You know, this is a weird, weird story, you guys. So I was somehow at my family Christmas and there was a video camera running. I don't know how all this happened, but on the video camera, I was saying that I have been cursed with the family unibrow.

I was in seventh grade. I was plucking mine in junior high or something. And I said this on this family cousin's video. This is the weirdest. I got a letter in the mail. Mind you, also, this was nine towns over that my cousins lived. My cousin's friend saw that video and wrote me a letter that said, I have great compassion for a man with a unibrow.

Compassion. It was like a forward. I got hit on in the mail. I got a letter. Wait, oh, he was hitting on you i know i heard mail and i thought mail m-a-i-l god i wish i had that letter and here's what happened i love the word compassion i know and i don't even know that that's what it was but it was basically saying i know you have a year and i like it was the letter wow and how old was she

was the letter. Oh, wow. And how old was she? My age. Well, my cousin was my age. Oh, I imagine her to be like 40. I would have been down. Anyways, it was so complicated.

I was flattered. I was so embarrassed. Someone knew I had a unibrow besides my family. So I couldn't. As if it wasn't on your face. I was plucking it. Oh, oh. Yes.

Got it. I didn't actually have one. So I was flattered and I wanted to be with her, but I was too embarrassed. She knew I couldn't start up a thing with someone that knew I had a unibrow. This is my big secret. It was already out. And then this tremendous guilt that I wasn't rewarding her forwardness. This was such a brave thing for a seventh grade girl to do. I pray someone in the

audience knows this person just says, I've always been in awe of your confidence. I'm going to add something. I feel like you didn't like her because in your head, you're like, well, she probably has a unibrow, which is why she likes it. And I hate what that, I hate her. She's ugly. She's ugly. That is a very ungenerous assessment of what I was feeling. I'm just saying, you are young and young people do this. But I just owned all four of my reactions, which is like deep fluttery, deep embarrassment and shame, total admiration, and then major guilt that I didn't reward her forwardness with a reciprocation. And fear that she was so ugly. Shesh-a-corn. Share-a-corn.

Is that you, share-a-corn? Share-a-corn. That was her. She's made her way around. I only know one other person with your experience, really, and that's Ashton Kutcher. The first audition of his life was the 70s show. And there's got to be pros and cons to it. Of course, as someone who it took forever to get

employed, I was just jealous of that scenario. But at the same time, I now in retrospect, I'm delighted. I had a whole real life here that I was miserable and not important. And I really am grateful that I had that struggle before. So I'm curious for you, what were the pros and cons of it happening that immediately after school I had been auditioning for a year I guess which I know isn't a long time in the grand scheme of things but it's not like Riverdale was my first audition it was just my first bite and I didn't mean to say it that way you were still in school it's not like you had the safety net of school yeah and you haven't moved to another city or sitting around you know I just got so lucky the funny thing is in college

in my acting classes i had a teacher that would be like you're gonna play like a popular girl on a cw show one day he would say that to me all the time were you offended by that comment yeah i was actually yeah yeah because you're nyu tish yeah but i thought it was also flattering because i'm like oh there's a place for me in the industry. I'm marketable. Yeah. But I was like, what about an HBO show? Yeah. What about Breaking Bad? Yeah.

But he was right. It's a hard question. I haven't noticed that it's affected me in any serious negative way. It's impossible to know. But I also just finished the show. And where did it shoot? Vancouver. Fuck. So I've had a couple of friends that were on shows that went a very long time there,

and one of the people went mad. They left a very popular show and been offered a trillion dollars and just couldn't do it anymore. Not that Canada's an unpleasant place, but it's like, your life is on pause. You don't live there. You're not building a network that will go on.

It has nothing to do with Canada. It has to do with being somewhere that isn't your home for 10 months out of a year for seven years. Also, it consumes you. Everything revolves around it. When you have time off and the things that you get to do in between, it's always like, okay, well, when are we back shooting this?

Okay, and then that ends when? And you got invited to this event? Okay, let me clear it with production. Everything is always about- Trying to get back to LA for five minutes? Yeah, so every decision in my life, I had to like clear through the show. Here's a logistical question. Since you were living in New York and you got cast on a show that was shooting in Vancouver,

there's really no incentive for you to move anywhere, I guess. When did you move to LA? Well, there was an incentive because at least LA was closer to Vancouver than New York was. So I moved- So did you immediately get an apartment when you got on that show out here? After season one, I got a place in LA. Got an apartment for the time in between. Right. Which was two months. Yeah. I would just get an Airbnb, furnished rental, and then-

Pry. Yeah. Try to get other work and then go back. But that's another thing. A lot of us wanted to continue working on our time off because this was our only opportunity to do other things. To take this opportunity and make the most of it. Yeah, and so you'd go from 10 months to then two months on something else and then back. It was just this never-ending work cycle.

You just didn't stop working for seven years. No. And here's another thing that happens up there. This is what would have killed me if I was ever young and on a show up there is you're not home. No here's another thing that happens up there. This is what would have killed me if I was ever young and on a show up there. You're not home. No one's looking. There's this weird anonymity you feel being in another city you don't live in.

And I think you can get into more and more trouble. Like if you make a mess, it's like, I don't live here. I'm going to go back to wherever. I guess that just wasn't my experience. You're not that type. No. Also, there's no time. Were you witnessing it? I witnessed it. A lot of those actors get're not that type. No. Also, there's no time. There's no time to get in trouble.

I witnessed it. A lot of those actors get in big old trouble up there. Were you witnessing this at all? I did. You could see that that was happening. Totally. That's why I'm grateful for having gone to NYU. Because I got to be a dumb young adult living in the city by myself.

I went through that phase of growth then. So by the time I booked a job, I was like ready. Yeah, because Monica, there's these legendary stories. What's the hotel everyone stays at? The London or something? The Slutton. It's called The Slutton. There you go.

But people call it The Slutton. Yes, it's a fucking orgy of young actors. Everyone's bed hopping. I don't think it's as hot as it used to be. It used to be such a vibe, but I don't think it's... They should have had like an in-house clinic. Like in the lobby where you can go down and grab your penicillin shot go to work come back fuck it all up again

that next night but did you live in a hotel no just for the pilot then we all got places but some people stay at the slutton for a while yeah it's good living if that's your vibe yeah there is like a resident side of it not residents but more long-term stays. Oh, boy. And also, when it gets too dark, like you've done too much carnage and you just move rooms. It's like a little reset. It really lends itself to it.

Go into a different zone. Yeah, it's like, fuck, I gotta get on another floor of this hotel. I can't possibly get off on the eighth floor ever again with what I did

in the elevator last night. Oh, God. But also, it's not like Vancouver is the rowdiest city either. I mean, I guess it's what you make it. It's an enormously active drug world. Yes, that's very true.

Gabor Mate's work was there. They got a lot of heroin epidemic style stuff. It's true. Did you end up owning a place there ever? No, because I just couldn't ever feel 100% that our show was going to get renewed. No matter how successful, I'm like, anything could happen. Well, I know this is your disposition. I've written down some quotes. I relate to you in this way and I bet it's being divorced and constantly moving and every time something's good, the shoe's going to drop, the shoe's going to drop. So even when things are

good, it's like, did I peak? Is it over? So that's probably in the mix because of course on the outside, it's preposterous that you didn't think that show was going to get, it was the number one show on CW for seven years. It's like the people on Friends worry they're not going to get picked up next year. But it's just because network television was such a weird. It didn't feel like there was much longevity in that. Yeah, it was a very unstable period. It was literally during the transition of network television going down and streaming going up.

So you just never know with these things. But you're right. I'm very cautious when it comes to those kinds of decisions. Do you hoard your money? Not really. I don't mind investing, but I'm definitely on the conservative side of investing. I trust my dad a lot. Do you drive a flashy car?

No. And I don't have a flashy home. I'm not a flashy person. I like to act like I have less. That's the move. Not act in like a fake way. I mean, I like to live my life to like the most that I'm comfortable, but not exceeding that. Yeah. For me, the elevation in comfort does not offset the loss of safety.

I can't enjoy it unless I know I can own it several times over. That's what it is, is that I get afraid that if I get used to too nice of a lifestyle, then I'll have to upkeep that lifestyle forever because to lose it would be devastating. Yes. Monica will tell you. So our old house is like a thousand feet that way. And I actually got great pride out of the fact that I do think most people that came to visit us were like, huh, I guess I expected a little bit more. I think there's a phase where it's like, you want a really nice thing to impress people. And then this other weird thing happened to me was like, I was actually getting tremendous pride out of people coming over and being very disappointed in our house. Yeah. I thought that was kind of gangster. I definitely feel that when people come to my house. I think there's a way to

own that. And I actually started feeling cool about it. At the time when I bought my first home, I was like, I'm 26. What business do I have having some nice ass home? You know, I'm like, I kind of want to be in my 20s and just have a home that's right for me. Well, I had this really weird dissonance between, I'll remember, I bought that house while I was still with my ex-girlfriend Bree, and we went and slept there one night. The remodel was about to start, so there was no furnace. It was cold. There was no beds. We like brought sleeping bags and we were laying in front of the fireplace. And I was looking around and I was like, I didn't do enough, in my mind, manual labor. Where I'm from and what I know about people at whatever age, I'm like, I can't own this because I didn't really do enough work. I couldn't accept that it was mine.

It was too bougie. Yeah, I just was like, I didn't kill myself. But what is that? That house is not bougie at all. It's a great house. It's a beautiful house. But it's a 3,000 square foot ranch on Los Feliz Boulevard. But that's your hang up about being fancy. Being fancy and what Michigan work is versus artsy work or whatever. But you definitely worked. It was a long time. Yes and no, Monica. I had been here.

Yes and no, Monica. I had been here a while, but really I bought the house in 2005 or six and I got punked in 2003. So really I went from a one bedroom apartment for a decade in Santa Monica to owning a pretty damn nice house within two years of working. I was like, this can't be real. It overwhelms me. I honestly don't want to live in like a big, big fancy yeah because i just feel like it's too much to think about i have thought about this moment a few times so i bought it in 2020 i told you that when you first got here we did our episode first yeah the first part of this episode and i'm gonna move in in 2025 and

it's gonna be gorgeous i mean it's gonna be great's going to be great. Nikki Kehoe is my designer. It's crazy. It'll take your breath away when it's done. It will. But I've already prepped myself. I know what's going to happen that first night. Because do you think you'll be sitting there with that same feeling like this can't really be mine?

I'm just going to have a bunch of friends over the first day. It'll be so fun. Everyone's going to leave and then it'll just be little me in this home. The little mouse. This home with all this pretty stuff in it. And it's perfect. And I'm going to die. I'm going to be so sad.

I get it. I'm trying to decide how to not make that happen. But I think it just will. And I'll have to see it. What will lead to the sadness? The thing we talk about on this show every day which is like now what like i did i did it and here we are but honestly there will be a ton of problems i know i know that's the thing you'll be kept quite busy i know even with a

brand new house yeah even brand new houses just shit goes wrong all the time there will always be something to work on. It's never finished. It's never finished. You're right, you're right. Do you feel, well, I think it's challenging for a lot of young people to come into a very successful show and share recognition. And share recognition? What do you mean?

There's going to be like a magazine cover, who's standing where, and everyone's new, and they care a lot as they should. I have a lot of sympathy for navigating that as a young person. And I think there's been a lot of shows where the shit hit the fan or it was wild. But it would appear at least that you and Lily and who's the redhead? Madeline. Because you guys have a shared TikTok, okay?

We do. Say the name of it. It's really cute. Blonde brunette redhead. That's so cute. Isn't that great? I want to hang i know i can't come down like a thing i don't want to go i don't want to have the girls night where you guys make pasta and drink wine that one came up so it was like all of us in a covet house not covet house we rented a house to quarantine in together our season during covet so we all had to quarantine for two weeks and we were like why not do it together and while we were there weeks and we were like, why not do it together? And while we were there, week one, we were like, should we start a TikTok account?

And then we just started making, you know, it was like such a on the whim thing. This really went well for you. Like you love those girls, right? I love them. Oh my God. Lily was talking so favorably. Yeah. They're like family to me.

They're like sisters. I just saw them last week. And I was with KJ last night. I still see a lot of them does this remind you and um you and i first became friends and i was like obsessed with the fact that you were young in hollywood and i'd always be like i was like oh my god you're gonna have so much fun in hollywood like what do you do i was like what do you mean what do you mean he's just trying to suck the youth out yeah i want to drink your adrenal. Is that cool if I come over and have some of your adrenal chrome?

I'm sure you could do that here in LA. Just think about it. Think about it. If you guys are ever bored and you want me to swing by. Yeah. I'd love to. Participate? Yes.

I would love that. Yeah. I can make fun of myself, I think. You don't want to be on TikTok. Oh, my God. I'm not a TikTok person, but I will if you're inviting me. I would love to. I could use a little bump, I think, on the social media front.

How many followers does that account have? I don't know now. You know. No, I actually don't know. Okay, but ballpark. Because it changes. 13 mil. I can check right now.

Yeah. I can check right now. We need to get on that TikTok monitor. I know. Actually, yeah. Can we come for a month of showing your TikTok? Absolutely. Can you add Dirty Gray and Black?

Well, Camilla has 25 million followers on Instagram. That's incredible. 25 million and on Instagram. That's incredible. 25 million and descending. No. I swear. Here we go. She's going to drop. Are you able to monetize that pretty good?

Yeah, I'd say so. Yeah. You should. It's so cool. 12.7 is the following. Wow. 12.7. I rounded it up a bit.

Maybe when you guys hit 13, I come to celebrate. Yeah. We do a little thing. It is so fun that you guys all get along. I know what you mean. It could go so many ways. Yeah. I'm sure you were pitted against each other at some point.

What helps a lot, I think there are other shows that disprove my theory, but we're all so different. We don't look like each other. We're not going up for the same roles. That is a blessing. I just think that helps separate it. Yeah. When you have like three blondes on a show,

oh, dangerous. Like which one's the blonde that's going to take off? They're all corns. Sarah Corn. That mentality exists no matter what. I think it's just natural because you're all coming up at the same time. And I don't think competition is the right word because that sounds like I don't want my co-stars

to thrive, which I do. I think it's more you go, oh, they did this? Oh, why don't I have that? That's the problem. You constantly have something that's relative to your own performance right in front of your face. It's also the same stress of dating a fellow actor. It's like you could be in a cold phase and getting scared, and this person's turning everything down, and they turn down the meeting for the movie you're trying to get a meeting for.

down and they turn down the meeting for the movie you're trying to get a meeting for. And of course you want your partner to win, but you become hyper aware of how floundering you are. How can you not reflect it back on yourself and be like, wait, but I haven't done that yet. Why haven't I done that yet? It's just a natural part of being in the business. Yeah. Like if one of the cast members had hosted Sarient Live, I'd be like, oh wow, that's

a big thing. Exactly. Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, if you dare. I'm enormously curious. You dated a dude on the show for a year, and then you guys were broken up for four more years on the show. We dated for a year and then broke up for about a year and then got back together or the second time it was like seven months it didn't last that long i can't imagine the merry-go-round i'd be on if i worked with a co-star i had broken up with and i like i imagine myself like breaking up with them and being, I am so fucking done with them.

And then three weeks later at work. Well, it's because it was COVID. That was a big catalyst. It's because we broke up and then COVID happened. And then the show was down for a long time. So there was that big separation. And then when we came back to COVID, we were both in other relationships.

But then naturally, the two of us got out of our own relationships, not knowing the other did. And you're lonely and overworked in Canada. And we're in lockdown. We can't leave Vancouver. You're the only options.

Yeah. Yeah. And it's like, maybe second time's a charm. Maybe this time it'll be different. Is it hard, though, when you finally break up

to work together? I think in the beginning, yes. We had Kaylee Cuoco on and she talked about this because she dated someone. Jim? Is it hard, though, when you finally break up to work together? I think in the beginning, yes. We had Kaylee Cuoco on, and she talked about this because she dated someone. Jim? I didn't know that. No. She's not her sister who likes nerds.

Johnny Galecki. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Johnny Korn. She dated him and then also had to keep working. Had to keep working, but she had positive things. Well, some people are good at breakups and some are not. I think I'm quite good at it. Me too. I think I am too. That's good. Okay, that helps. And people are good at breakups and some are not i think i'm quite good at it me too i think i am too okay that helps and i'm good at keeping things professional i mean obviously right when it happened it's hard and it's emotional you see

them laughing in a group you know you're not even the worst yeah oh it's so rude but i think it's hard because the timing of the show it was jokes because it was like anytime we started to hook up off set and knew that something was brewing, our characters would start dating. But they didn't know. No one knew. The writers just would naturally make it happen. Did you guys ever have to date post breakup on the show? Yeah.

So that's the second time. Oh, my God. You guys would be making out as breakups? Yeah. Oh, my God. That would be so horny. And like right after. Oh, God.

Right after. This is torture. Yeah, that's awful. I don't know how you ever broke up. Was it mutual breaking up or did someone really break up with the other? Because that makes it so much worse. It was mutual. It ended very peacefully and wish you all the best.

We'll see you next week. We'll see you in a minute. But it still hurts. We'll take our shirts off next week together and make out for an hour. Yeah, it still hurts, you know, no matter what. I think after that there was another break between seasons and when we came back for the last season

there was definitely like an air of zen, we're past it. We worked together a lot as well, but not in a romantic capacity. Honestly, can't even remember what this last season was. I don't think we, yeah, there was no character dating. There's a Riverdale hyper fan screaming at her dash right now.

How could you not remember kissing him on the boat? Episode 13. I'm almost positive there wasn't anything. And then it went super smoothly last season. I think the whole last season

felt very different in that way where we all really came together in the last season. Oh, that's nice. Yeah, because it's like, this is the last time we're all going to be together in this room. Who knows when something like this will happen again?

Okay, well, somehow in the middle of a seven-year run, seven times 22, how many episodes did you guys do? 158 or something? I can't even do that math right now. Seven times 22. 140 plus seven is 14. 154. 137. No. Oh, they 137. Ugh.

137. Oh, that's, okay, so there must have been some years without 22. I stand by the math. Oh, yeah, yeah. The first year was 13. Oh, there it is. We messed up our math. That was not our fault.

It was not your fault. Yeah. You guys are really good at math. Thank you so much. Mainly Dax, mainly Dax. But in the middle of all that, you squoze in the new romantic, Palm Springs, Dangerous Lies. Every movie I've done was squozed in. In those two

month gaps? Jeez. And sometimes it was two in the same break. But it was a choice. I chose that. Are you prepared for some downtime? You gotta be mentally prepared. I have taken a lot of downtime, I feel. Okay. I feel

like your definition of downtime in ours is probably much different. No, I always say I'm determined this year to check myself in somewhere, go to like a mental health retreat, be off the grid for a month. Like I am dying to do that. I haven't found the time to do it. That's the, but it's on, yeah, it's on the 2024 bucket list. I like that. You need to do that. Okay, so you have upgraded, which you made presumably in the summer of 23. That was two years ago. See, because the strike last year just really fucked me.

Time just feels different. But no, it was two years ago. It was 2021. 2022, sorry. 2022. 2022, that makes sense, because in strike in 2023, probably why you couldn't.

Yeah, it was the year before strike. I did it right before we filmed our last season. A, this movie screams Devil Wears Prada. I'm out of the loop on these things, but from my memory,

this is very Devil Wears Prada. It is. And I hate making that comparison because I feel like anytime you compare your movie to like a really iconic movie that's beloved by millions, you're bound to get hate for it

because you're like, how dare you compare it to me? Right. So I wouldn't want to say that but there are similarities thematically thematically very similar but in the art world yes so marissa tomei she is very much the anna went to her character she works at an auction house she's not the owner but she's second command and you are brand new on the job you're trying to make a name for yourself everyone's bitchy everyone's mean yeah she's very short be the easiest way to say it very short short with people when she talks yeah i don't want to i don't want to outright call her she's really short you thought you meant height wise i think she's like what's wrong with being short

i like short girls so nothing that. That's your type. That is my type. There we go. We got around to it. I think it's pretty obvious from the track record. So you get invited to join her on this very important trip to London, and you're the lowest person. And then when you get to the airport, these bitchy

bitches. Bitchy bitches. They tell you you're not even on this flight. You're flying out in three hours. You came here to check the bags. To move things. To hold things. And then the woman behind the counter has observed all this. And she's like, I only deal with assholes a couple times a day and it seems like you were stuck with assholes.

I'm going to upgrade you to first class. And then your mom was there? And then I meet Giselle Mendez. If ever there was a time to get your mom as a stunt cast. I know. That would have been perfect. She's using all the amenities.

She gets a massage. She's luxuriating. In classic rom-com fashion. Meet cute. Love meet cute. Slams into. Spills her drink all over her. Bloody Mary all over the jeans of.

Will. He's a Brit. Is he a Brit in real life? He is a Brit in real life. Archie Renaud. Yeah. Bumps into him. He's a Brit. Is he a Brit in real life? He is a Brit in real life. Archie Renaud. Bumps into him. He's charming. And of course they're sitting next to each other on the airplane. And conversation strikes. Of course. Two cute people

flirting it up in first class. They're too hot not to like each other. It would be impossible. Who could resist? But then you get there and of course she takes on this fake identity as someone who flies first class and she starts pretending she's her boss. She belongs there. Yeah, it's a little bit talented Mr. Ripley.

A little bit pretty woman. And then he asks her why she's going to London and she's like, oh, you know, they called in the director of the New York office to save the day and he assumes that I'm the director of the New York office and I just go with it. Because I'm like, why not? We're on a plane. I can lie to you on a plane. That's right. I'm never going to see you We're on a plane. I can lie to you on a plane. That's right.

I'm never going to see you again. Vancouver, the slutton. Cut to. Yes, and then you meet the mom and the mom is very, very inviting. She wants your number. They're loaded. She's trying to set it up.

She's an art collector and she's coincidentally selling her art with not Sotheby's. I like to say Sotheby's, but Irwin's, which is our Sotheby's. And then she's like, you work there? How crazy. You're the director? You should be in charge of my auction.

Oh. So then I have to go along with this double life where I'm an intern for the actual director and then also pretending to be the director. And falling in love with Renaud. Yeah. It's right up your alley. I like that. I know, I love a rom-com. I didn't watch it Renaud. Yeah. It's right up your alley.

I know, I love a rom-com. I didn't watch it because I don't. We have a policy. We do have a policy. I don't try to watch the thing because sometimes if I do, then it gets very esoteric, and I can't see what an audience who hasn't seen it should not know. It just happened to us this week.

It did, because I did watch Fargo, and now I'm off. When we interviewed Noah Hawley, she hadn't, so she had a good idea of what he and I were geeking out too much. And then for the next two people, she had'm home. When we interviewed Noah Hawley, she hadn't, so she had a good idea of what he and I were geeking out too much and then for the next two people, she had seen it. Now we don't know.

It's like a problem. Yeah, yeah, I see. It's all good. But I am really excited. You would love it. I know, I love a rom-com so much. I liked it and I'm not just saying this

because I'm biased and I was in it and obviously I'm going to promote my movie, but genuinely, I just think it feels more elevated than most rom-coms.

I don't always watch rom-coms, especially modern rom-coms. I think it's really hard to achieve these days. You're right. With the same magic that they used to have. 100%. What is your explanation of that? I think, I shouldn't say this because technically I didn't have this with Archie, but they used to chemistry test people more. I feel like they used to actually make sure that their two lead actors had real chemistry.

And I just don't think they're doing it like that anymore. They're doing it over Zoom. Right. And they're plucking two people with a certain social media footprint. Thank God I had chemistry with Archie, but we didn't get to test that out. We got lucky. But oftentimes these days they're just offering one actor this role and another actor this role. All right. You meet like a few days before you start filming that's how it was for me and Rudy on Musica on the other project

because you met there? yeah that's how we met oh really? yeah her boyfriend wrote and directed it yeah and stars in it

he plays himself it's autobiographical and you had not learned your lesson on Riverdale and you're like yes this is a great idea I really thought I had but I'm like

no this is different because it's a movie let's bang the writer and the director and the star I'm like it's a movie. Let's bang the writer and the director and the star. I'm like, it's a movie. If it doesn't work out. Temporary. Yeah. Oh, man. But yeah, same thing. We didn't have

a chemistry read, but we did meet several times on Zoom and I could tell that there was chemistry there, but it's literally you meet and then you start filming. And I think back in the day, they placed more importance on that. That's a really good explanation. I have a sadder one. Okay.

Because I love rom-coms, so I hate this. I don't think we can make rom-coms in the same way. Because now when you rewatch, they're problematic. It's often... Stalkery. Exactly. There's like stalkery stuff or women are often chasing men. Yeah.

It doesn't hold up. No, it's true. Conceptually. One of my favorites is he's just not that into you. And when I look back on it, I'm like, it's just a series of guys being like,

look, this guy's just not interested in you. Get over it. We're men. Now we can't unsee it. If you make it, everyone will be like, what? Yeah. They had an excuse.

You don't have an excuse. Yeah. You're fucking the most quintessential cinematic moment. Say anything. He's holding a jam box. She won't talk to him, but he's outside of her house playing In Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel. And yeah, he picked the perfect song.

But she has said no. No, no, no, no, no. Yeah, it's true. I feel terrible for the modern generation. We're better off. They just need good banter and good chemistry and genuinely funny writing not rom-com funny writing. Exactly. It can happen it just requires a lot more of the writer. Yeah I was also an EP on Upgraded so I helped develop the script and it's so different from

where it started. I mean it had such good structure but I think the dialogue was missing a lot of good quippy banter and it didn't feel like the way people flirt, especially nowadays. So me and my producing partner brought on her brother and his writing partner. These two guys you would never think would write a rom-com and don't write rom-coms were like, make this funny, make it feel like actually comedic. And I think it needed a different lens so it didn't just fall into that same mold of rom-com that we see today. Here's the problem though.

So we all now know negging. Negging? Do you know negging? What's negging? Under 30s don't know negging. This douchey guy wrote a book about how to fuck girls. It had a classier title than that, but marginally classier.

And his strategy is like, you insult a pretty girl and make her insecure and then she'll like you. It's vomitous, right? And that's called nagging. And so it's vomitous and we don't like it. But at the same time, nagging is very fun when both people like each other. When you actually are in the real world, that is actually quite fun when it's not sadistic. So you're also balancing these two things where it's like a lot of these things are bad in some way and yet they're also quite fine and people enjoy them and both people are consensual. You know what I'm saying? No, I hear what you're saying. It's playful. It's teasing each other. Like what's the line between nagging and teasing? Well, there is a line because nagging is insulting to make that person feel insecure. It's bad.

Like beneath them or something. them exactly i have not met live tyler i'm doing a movie with live tyler i also was like in love with her as a kid and we haven't met and i pull into a parking spot for our first rehearsal and i'm driving a 1966 ac cobra it's the loudest most obnoxious coolest car ever made and i pull up up, it's got side pipes, I park, I'm feeling quite cool and she goes, don't get enough attention as an actor, huh? And I was like,

oh, damn. I love that. That was quick. I love that too. It was great. She's like immediately making fun of me.

I like when people call me out on my shit. Yes. In a way, that's nagging, I guess. You're like, but by the way, in Brazilian culture,

that's how people connect. That's why Ana's my favorite person to talk to. I can say anything. We're always poking at each other and teasing each other. Yes. Yeah. What do you think about that, Monica? Oh, I mean, I'm going to say something again you won't like. It's kind of okay because she did it. If you did it, it wouldn't have felt the same.

Yeah, true. Why are you talking to her like that? Men of power, we know this. What if he said it? It's all about tone too, right? Yes! If you have a crush on someone and they're singing in a playful way, you're like, oh my god,

Stasha! Yes, yes, yes! I think it could work. 100%. It's nuanced. Yeah. We're kind of trapped in this transitional phase where it's like, we just need to more clearly articulate what's going on. Because like, yes, teasing, we like. Having read a book of how to fuck hot chicks by shitting on them is like, ooh. Yeah, exactly.

That's rough. Because I want that in a rom-com. Yeah. I want that. Playful teasing. Yes, of course. It works. Yeah.

It does work. And it should. If you feel like everyone's equals, then it doesn't matter. That's a big part of it. We figured it works. Yeah. It does work. And it should. If you feel like everyone's equals, then it doesn't matter. That's a big part of it. We figured it out. Yeah. That's a gift we just gave everyone. That's the key.

I feel like we try to do a lot of that teasing and the dialogue between the characters. That's what made me think of it. I was aware of like, well, some of this is nagging on his part. Totally. Like by definition. Like making fun of her being American. There are little things like that where they're making fun of each other's isms. Which is really how you do flirt.

Yeah. Or how I do. Because there's something about it that's like, I see you. Yeah. You feel seen when someone makes fun of you for something. You're like, oh, you're paying attention. Exactly. I feel special.

That's really true. What's your favorite rom-com? I love The Breakup. Oh, Jen Anne and Vince Vaughn. That's a quality movie. I don't even call that a rom-com. Is it not? It's like an inverted rom-com.

Okay. I love Along Came Polly. Oh, I loved that movie. I guess I just love Jen-Anne's den, honestly. Jen-Anne. This is so embarrassing. I sent her like a desperado DM. Really?

To get her on the show? Yes. She'll do it, no? No, she won't do it no she won't do it she won't do it i mean i'm not ruling her out but i was just like i love jenny ann and how to lose a guy in 10 days that's a classic everyone loves that one hard not to love that one yeah i love andrew schultz so much the best i'm so delighted he's in your movie and then happy because i discovered him on instagram no i discovered i personally didn't movie. Because I discovered him on Instagram.

Not like I discovered. I personally didn't know about him. I found him on Instagram. I follow him. I think every single clip is hysterical. I've been DMing him and now I've got this friendship brewing. There's always this great question when you see a stand-up act. Are they going to be terrible or great?

And he's phenomenal. He's so good. He makes that role. He adds another layer of comedy to our movie that just gives it more flavor. Yeah, I'm curious how much was on the page and how much was he riffing? A lot of it was on the page,

but he would add his own. Spin. Yeah. I don't want to misspeak. I'm pretty sure the Rocky Balboa stuff was him. He gives you a speech and it's from Rocky. Yeah, but it's like the way he says things that was not on the page.

I wish there was more of him in the movie, honestly. I know. It's a really funny dynamic. She's living with her sister and her sister's husband, who is Schultz. They're in an apartment that's... Like a tiny New York apartment. The grandma lived and died there, and the mom is rent control. It's a one bedroom.

He wants a dog really bad. He wants her to join the Navy. He's trying to get her to join the Navy. And move back to Florida. He really wants her to move to Florida and join the Navy. I love that opening scene so much. Oh, he's so good. I'm delighted. Okay, let's do a couple minutes on

Musica, because that's also coming out this year. Yes. And as we just learned, your boyfriend, Mancuso? Rudy Mancuso. Manguzo. Manguzo, Rudy Manguzo. Oh yeah, that's the Italian part. Ah, Manguzo. Here we go.

Bikini. Am I understanding this correctly? Because this might interest you and Rudy, Mancuso. Mancuso. That Mary Steenburgen, I don't remember the exact event that led to this, but there was some medical thing where when she was post that, she had never been interested in music, never pursued it.

And she came out of this situation and she hears music nonstop in her head. And she ended up starting a career and I'm guessing her fifties. She writes songs in Nashville. She's had many songs written. Do you know this about Mary? I had no idea.

Are you saying she has synesthesia? Is that what it's called? Yeah. It is about that actual condition. Yeah had no idea. Are you saying she has synesthesia? Is that what it's called? Yeah. It is about that actual condition. Yeah. A lot of it has to do with synesthesia because Rudy has synesthesia. He does? Explain synesthesia to us.

It's like a tripping up of your sensory wires. So there's different forms of it. His is called rhythmic association. So his is more about organizing daily diegetic sound into rhythm. Almost in like a compulsive way. But then there are people that are synesthetic like Billie Eilish. I know John Mayer is synesthetic. Oh, really?

Yeah, there are a ton of musicians that are synesthetic. And a lot of them can hear a sound and see a color. Yeah, I've heard that. Things like that. It's just your sensory wire is getting tripped up. You hear a color. And you see a sound. Yeah, or you can taste Tuesday.

Oh! Oh, I'm dying to taste Tuesday. I like to describe it sometimes as like, sometimes if you say the word lime or lemon or you think of it, you can start to feel your jaw. There's certain words and sounds that have associations with other senses. So they're connected.

Or plethora, you get queasy immediately. Oh, you do? You do? Plethora. Let's unpack that, Dax. You just don't like that word. Carrie and I determined in high school that the real definition of plethora should be wet fart. Oh.

Right? Like, oh my God, I think I plethora'd. It's so gross. The word is so gross. You think it's a sharp. Plethora. Plethora. I guess a sharp, but even worse.

Plethora sounds like it would be near the uterus to me. Yeah, like placenta. Part of the reproductive system. Pl even worse. Plethora sounds like it would be near the uterus to me. Yeah, like placenta. Part of the reproductive system. Placenta. Plethora. I bet the fart thing is because it sounds very breathy. It's a plethora. It's a plethora.

It's a pervy word. Plethora. I could make her gag by saying plethora. Oh, wow. Oh, fuck. Did someone plethora? I think that was one of the first words that I thought was a big vocabulary

word. I think a lot of people thought that. In essays? Oh, that was such an essay word. Yes. It's embarrassing. The spelling's gross, too. I don't like how it looks. Oh, wow. A lot of people have this with moist. I don't mind moist. I don't either. And I've made it even worse and grosser. I say moys.

Just to really push into what I think people hate about it. I think it's the moys part of moys that they hate. So I just say, oh, this is very moys. Moys, yeah. I think I have synesthesia. Is that what it's called? Yeah. I have a weird thing where-

You get horny when boys puke? Is that a thing? No. Stop! She's been so honest. You owe her that. I'm going to tell her a different thing about me, which is when I was in school, I did get a weird, like, tingly feeling. Not sexual, I don't think.

I'll be the judge of that. When a teacher would say a color, if they said like, get your blue folder, I really enjoyed when they would say the color. It did something weird to my body. Sensory. Interesting. And then I would ask my friends like, do you know what I have? Did anyone else get PQs when he says orange?

They're all like looking at you. Like I just liked that. It's mainly a teacher's. When you're done with your test, I brought a bag of oranges. If he was referring to the fruit, would that have messed it up or you still enjoyed it? Nope. Color. Color. Okay.

Oh, here's a gross word about color. This is as bad as plethora. Puce. What's puce? A color. It is a color. That's not a color. Puce.

Puce. Oh, puce. It's kind of an onomatopoeia. Puce? It's kind of an onomatopoeia. It looks like it sounds. It's like a greenish, right? How do you spell it? Puse.

Is that an onomatopoeia? P-U-C-E. Puse. I think it's like a green. Pink. Oh, it's a pink? Yeah, I mean, it's flea color. Flea? It just gets worse.

Puke color. P-U-C. Puse. Puse. Oh, it's pretty. It's very pretty. Oh, my God. Puke color. Puce. Puce. Puce. Oh, it's pretty. It's very pretty. Oh my God. It is gorgeous.

It thinks it's better than you. You know, like puce. Yeah. Yeah. Have you met my friend Camila? Oh, she's puce. She's puce. No, no, she'd have her plethora.

Is that so? I'm thinking of someone else. I'm thinking of Camila Cabello. She would never plethora. Do you know Camila Cabello? I've met her. I don't know her up. Do you know Camila Cabello? I've met her. I don't know her well. Is that the Bane era existence?

John Mayer made a little joke of a song once where he just sang my name and Camila Cabello's name and Shawn Mendes' name back to back. Yeah, I bet some people think you are Camila Cabello and that you've married Shawn Mendes. Yeah, they definitely think that, especially early days. Now, not so much,

but I get tagged in things of Camila Cabello all the time. Oh my gosh, what a luxury. I don't get tagged in anything. I'd love to be on your TikTok though. You guys hit 13 million. Come on over. Back to Musica. So he has synesthesia.

Yeah, synesthesia. I love learning that. Synesthesia. Synesthesia. Monica has seizures. Synesthesia. Maybe they're connected somehow. Yeah, maybe the colors.

Not the, don't say that again. Stop talking about that. Synesthesia. Okay. Okay. So, he has written and directed this. He actually has a, he's enormously talented. Very.

He has an enormous YouTube following. He has an enormous everything. He directs a ton of commercials. He's a baller. I'm really excited for following. Yeah. He has an enormous everything. He directs a ton of commercials. He's a baller. I'm really excited for him. This is his first film. And I know that being a filmmaker has been his dream since he was 11 years old in New

York, New Jersey. And his route to get there was Vine and then YouTube. He's a hustler. That's what I like. He's a hustler. Hustlers are sexy. And this just feels so earned for him and this journey that he's been on. I think the internet personality world is very much judged.

I think people look down on it. But when you see the stuff that he's done, he's so brilliant. It's like just the beginning of his career. I had a revolution on this because, yeah, initially I was like, that person's a YouTube star. Like, of course, I had to stick up my ass about it. But by the way, so did I. Okay, good. That's comforting.

It is. because you're young i chalked it up to that i'm old like your mom but i started thinking about it i was like when i came here i didn't have an agent as we talked about yeah my favorite part of being at the growlings is i got to make video shorts and i couldn't get my foot in the door and i had so much passion and energy to create and if i had had an an outlet, I'm like, why am I hung up on this? It's been democratized. Nothing stands in your way. And if you pop in the sea of a hundred million fucking contributors, what an accomplishment. He always talks about how he heard what Vine was. He's like, wow, telling a story in six seconds. That's fascinating. He was inspired and challenged

and excited by it. And that's what got him into it. And what I find so interesting is I had that judgment in the beginning of, okay, who wants me to be in their movie? Who is this guy? He did what? I don't know. I mean, I'll meet with him. He's Brazilian. I definitely want to meet another Brazilian in the industry, but I'm probably going to pass. And that's my own insecurity because I'm coming from like a teen show. I got to be so careful about who I work with and what I do. And I don't want to be judged. Then I met him. Complete 180 in the first five minutes of us meeting. I was like, I'm doing this. Well, yes, if someone succeeds in any category or silo, what you have to acknowledge is they have something clearly, whether it was on a network show or a streaming show or a movie or YouTube or Instagram, they have a charisma clearly.

It's also not like he was a vlogger. Not that I judge that either, but he was making skits and telling stories. He was a creator. And who is anyone to judge the medium that you're creating in if you're doing it successfully and people are enjoying it?

When you started dating, did you have a hiccup of like, I'm going to have to tell people he's good? Because also when I started working with him, I mean, it's so hot when you see someone he's uh no good because also when i started working with him i mean it's so hot when you see someone he's so good at directing i'm like this is your first time doing this but it's not technically right i'm like you've been creating oh for like a decade for a decade yeah he edits all his own stuff he's like so tuned in to what he wants that watching him lead an amazon movie

with a decent budget and know exactly what he wants and hold his own and not feel like a first-time filmmaker because I've worked with a ton and they're not like that well he's not a first time filmmaker he's a first time this length filmmaker okay so upgraded comes out February 9th Valentine's Day ding ding ding also our six-year anniversary yes Valentine's Day is your six-year anniversary. We came out on Valentine's Day six years ago. That's amazing. When does Musica come out? I don't know if there's an exact date on it yet.

Okay, TBD. I think it's April. Well, you know, this spring starts sniffing around. April 4th. April 4th. It was announced. I thought so. Scheduled to be released.

But I wasn't sure if that was official or not, or if that's just the talk of the town. Right. Also, April showers bring May flowers. They do bring May flowers. Will you look and see if they bring May flowers? Yeah, Rob, does it say whether or not April showers

bring May flowers? They do. They do. They do. They do. Are you guys going to fact check that? Yeah.

That candle is puce. Is it really? The color. It is. That's exactly the color. That A24 candle? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, exactly. This has been a blast. We're two for two for Riverdale cast members. Because I really liked Lily a lot, too. Lily's the best. She's so real. I admire her so much for that. Ohio.

Yeah. That was a while ago. It was. I know. I didn't realize how long ago that was. Yeah. Time is a flying. She doesn't give a fuck.

She'll say what she thinks and what she feels. She's so honest. I need to learn how to be like that more. I take that from her. It's funny you think you're going to pay some big price for it and you don't. That's really true. Yeah. Well, I really enjoyed this.

I hope you had as much fun as I did. This was so easy. Okay, wonderful. I don't feel like I've said anything I regret. Not yet, at least. Well, that's because you refused to say the thing we said we'd cut out and I'm furious. But upgraded February 9th, Musica TBD. April 4th.

When those showers have come, start looking for them. May flowers in this movie. All right, love you. Bye. Bye. Stick around for the fact check. Because they're human, they make lots of mistakes. Should we start with the heartbreaking

news sure i don't know that i've ever been as like felt a punch to my gut as much reading about someone from another country that i don't know anything about dying it's awful nivalny god is that fucking brutal or it's so bad and the sweet family that was in the dock. Yeah. Oh, what a sacrifice. The only thing I could hope is that somehow, somehow maybe he'll start his wish, which is like, maybe he'll be the great martyr there that'll challenge that.

I mean, he's so not other. He's so us for them. He's not a Ukrainian. He's not us for them. He's not a Ukrainian. He's not, you know, from the Crimea, Pennsylvania. You know, he's them. Yeah. That's really sad. Oh, God.

All right. I shouldn't have started with that. Let's start with something that I've seen in the comments quite a bit. And I actually am nervous we have to address this, which is you called a conference i went to the illuminati but you were joking i'm not in the illuminati i don't think the illuminati is real this is a conference of professors some prime ministers and a bunch of academics getting together to talk about world events and if they could collectively help that's what it was yes it's not real it's not real. It's not real. Yeah. And some people are like truly shook by that. Oh, wow. Like you just brushed it under the rug, Dax. Is Dax a member of the Illuminati? Oh, that's really funny. Yeah. No, you're not.

I'm not. Do we think it's real? No, I don't think the Illuminati is real. Do you? I don't know. I like secret societies, so I'd be okay with it being real. Well, let's, okay. So let's like really dig into what we mean by Illuminati. There's think tanks, the RAND group, there's, you know, there's all these like really well-funded think tanks that do write policy for DC. Right. That's one thing. Yeah. There also might be a group of people that think they're the Illuminati. Sure. Right? Like, I don't know when they go to these G20 summits. I don't know if eight of them get together and think that. But the core conspiracy behind the Illuminati. Do I think a very select few individuals are running planet Earth?

I do not. Oh, yeah. No, I don't think that either. But I think there could be like a group of people who get together and discuss things and work together to get things done. Not like they have like absolute power, but. Yeah, I would just call those people like lobby groups, right? Like if you're in a restaurant owner, you join the fucking Better Business Bureau or whatever thing's going to represent you in D.C. going to represent you in dc and so yeah there's lots of collectives of like-minded people with like interests yeah or shared interests that definitely combine resources to try to get things

pushed along it's i mean i guess it's sort of a ding ding ding to what we were just talking about about russia yes now do i think russia has one person that pretty much controls everything? I do yeah unfortunately but yeah no I don't think I don't think so but if there is like a fun group of people who are like Rihanna and she's supposed to be in it

I guess that's the thing too if there was an Illuminati they would not invite me like I have a history of talking too much out loud in public. That's true. Even about my own dirty laundry. You're a bit of a blabbermouth. I'm a blabbermouth who has to fill up six hours a week on the radio.

They wouldn't invite me. They wouldn't be smart to for that reason. But also, you're good at keeping secrets if you need to keep a secret. If it's life or death, sure. For a friend, but not strangers. I feel like it would be life or death because that's part of it. They have power. They kill.

Yeah. As you may recall, I read that book, Behold the Pale Horse in high school. And for about 90 days, I was believing in the Illuminati. You were? Like trying to. Okay. was believing in the Illuminati. You were?

Like, trying to. Okay. You know, it's a very, very fun, fantastical fantasy that there's the Knights Templar, and they've been guarding the Shroud of Turin, and they've always been the sergeant of arms of these powerful groups. And then you look at how many presidents were Masons. You know, all these suspicious corollaries.

Skull and bones. Skull and bones. Skull and key. Is there a skull and bones? Ooh. Ooh. I think it's called skull and bones. Wobby Wob.

Yeah, that wasn't that with the, well, are you thinking of the movie The Skull? No, the movie is The Skulls, but I think the actual thing is called Skull and Bones. I think it's The Skull and Key. Skull and Bones, also known as The Order, Order 322, or The Brotherhood of Death. It's an undergraduate senior secret student society at Yale. Oh. Skull and Key? Is it Skrull and Key?

Key's not ringing a bell for you he sounds kind of familiar I don't remember why but scrolling keys is a men's honor society at University of California Berkeley that feels like West Coast little weak I'm sorry it doesn't have the history

West Coast isn't good at the secret societies they just bit off of Yale. Although, how about this? I don't really believe this, but just for fun of making an argument. Yeah. They're all over there sniffing each other's farts in this paneled room. No one can get in.

Comic book fucking whatever fantasy. Oppenheimer's learning how to blow up the planet. Yeah. That's true. So impact. I don't know. we could argue what's happened at berkeley was much more scrolling key is also there we go one 1842 at yale also scroll scrolling one of the oldest yale secret societies and and reportedly the wealthiest oh i think that's the

one you're talking about yeah that we're thinking of when we say skull and bone no that that's also yeah yeah y'all have yeah definitely has thrown but i think the the presidents and stuff weren't members of skull and bone i think they were members of scroll and key and there's also wolf's head oh there's those are the three at yale harvard has four i think right uh this is they don't what yes they. They're just so good at keeping secrets. No, because Mike Schur was in one of them, right? No, he was in...

Lampoons. Yeah, he was in National Lampoons. But that has a secret room that no one can go in unless they're a member, right? Oh, probably. I think he was saying... They have social clubs,

for sure. That's what What's It Called was all about. Yeah, Friendship Circle. Social network. Not secret, though. If you want social clubs, they've got Spree Club owl club no porcelain

club god these do not sound intimidating social club oh no the owl club's coming the fly club don't worry we'll call the ceramics club box club the hasty pudding hasty pudding is artisty yeah and it's comedy and they they do sketches. Actually, my friend Maddie. Is it pudding? I don't think she's a pudding. But she's hasty. Yeah, she's definitely hasty, and she's written a sketch or something for them, and they just had a big anniversary for hasty pudding last month or something, and Barry Keoghan was honored there.

Final clubs. Oh, sorry, real quick to interrupt. Do you think it was a typo and it was really tasty puddings? Yeah. Okay, that makes more, that just makes more sense. They're called final clubs.

Oh. Remember from Social Network? That was the whole, he couldn't get in. Yeah, and he was angry so he created the Social Network. I don't, I feel like the internet's erased it.

You think they're that much better at keeping their secrets? Did Maddie go to Harvard? Yeah. Okay, great. I'm sorry, did Maddie go to school in Boston? She did. It was funny. Oh, Maddie's a girl.

Yeah, Maddie's a girl. Okay. Yeah, Maddie is the writer. She wrote the article on me for Vanity Fair. Yes, okay. And she also wrote a beautiful piece about Salaika. Oh, she did? We Salaika Salaika.

Big time. When we were at the advertising dinner, there was a woman sitting across from us and her husband. They said they went to school in Boston. And I said, so you went to Harvard? Yeah, yeah. And she was like, he did. And she went to Dartmouth. Okay.

But it was funny. And he was like, I didn't say it. I wasn't the one. They can't win. I know. They can't win. Don't go to Harvard. I mean, if there's anything to learn from this, don't go.

They've got no secret societies. They have the secretest secret societies. You should definitely go. And then you'll never be able to say where you went to school. When people go, did you go to college? They'll say, no. No, I didn't. Ooh, that's kind of a cool flex.

It's like, no, I didn't. I didn't go to school. Why? Why? Do you have a problem with that? You got a fucking problem with that and then you do

like the speech that Matt Damon did in Good Will Hunting where he's like schooling that guy then you pull out an LSAT and go you want

to challenge me to the LSAT even though I didn't go to college so you just pull out the book yeah the standardized test

well I'm getting some intel okay great while you wait for that intel I feel like I've cleared up the Illuminati thing. Okay, I hope people believe you.

Because people are nuts about that. I don't want people thinking I'm actually, yeah. But also, if people. I don't need to end up on all these lists. But if people was into the last fact check about Monica's mom and the CIA, they're going to think that you're doing exactly what she did. Which is lie. I know. It's complex.

It's like not being able to say you went to Harvard. Okay, actually, so these are right. These are right, what Rob read. The Porcelain Club, the Spee, the Fox, the Delphic, the Phoenix, the Fly, and the AD. Those are male. Some are female now, she says. Some are co-ed. Oh, good.

And then there are some all-female ones as well. Okay, so no Illuminati, which we like. No two Illuminati. But I also- Vote with your pocketbook. If there is an Illuminati, I don't want to take myself out of the running for it. So I'm not here to dismiss it. So you would want to be a member of the Illuminati?

Of course. Okay. If they'll have me. Why, yeah, they'd be a feather in their cap to have you. Well, that would be nice, but I blab too. A lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Probably more than you. You and Liz will get going on something

and then... Oh, me and you, me and her, me and David, we all talk. Right. We all talk. David in particular, he's like sniffing around everything. He's a journalist. He's a journalist. He gets winded that you're in the Illuminati. Oh.

He'll be on that like a dog on a bone. Shit. He'll be a webworm about it really quickly. Yeah, exactly. Fuck. Who do you think, okay, well, we shouldn't play this game, but I want to play it. Okay, great. Let's play it.

If we could make our own Illuminati. Yeah. Of 10 members. Or let's make it seven. Oh, that sounds arbitrary. Seven. Well, because ten felt like we might take too long. And we're not counting us two as... Yeah, we're going to remove ourselves. Seven people who we would be happy with to have some sort of structure that's in charge.

I'm going to throw out a couple names that I believe you'll agree with. I'll start with who I think you'll co-sign on. Okay. Bill Gates. Yeah. He's the most informed on every single topic in the world. The reason I know this is a bad game is because people are like, he is! He already is! Oh, sure, yeah.

I can't help those people. We can't. Okay, so Bill. Bill. David Sedaris. Oh, okay. Thousand fucking percent we need his point of view. Oh, yeah. To check us and be sarcastic at all times. For sure, but like for rulemaking and stuff? Yeah.

Okay. Yeah, yeah. We need diversity of opinion. I agree. And uber intelligence. And we need to laugh a bit. Because the world's a funny and tragic place. It is.

We need David. Okay. John Batiste. Oh, wow. You're worried I'm chalking it full artist, but don't worry. You're also just putting your favorite people, which, okay.

These are people I think should, these are people whose souls I trust to run the world. I think John is an angel and he's dropped down to change us via music. Okay, so- But to be in the- That's a great point, I think John is an angel and he's dropped down to change us via music. Okay. So to be in that. That's a great point.

But I'll make an argument for why he should stay. Okay. He could bring out the best in us by playing piano while we debate these things. He could take us on spiritual and emotional journeys. And it could turn out that he really 2X'd our output and our clarity by the impact he had on our bodies while we did our thinking and debating. Oh, okay. So he's more, he's going to play for us while we debate. Well, he is going to respond to the debate he's hearing in the way he knows how.

Right. And he'll have a clarity. Like, that is a genius I think he has. For sure. He could hear an emotion that's in the room and then he has a clarity to transmit that through sound i agree with that and then we might all then be able to lock on to that that clarity of emotion okay it could help us in the same way that charles doohig he would tell us which of the three conversations we're actually having i see so okay it. Okay, he could be really instrumental, pun intended, to... The outcome.

The outcome. Okay, I'm back. I'm with you. Okay, so you give me three, and then we'll maybe hush-hash about a seventh. Okay, I like those three. I'm going to add... Can we have ghosts? No, no, no.

Oh, okay. I won't add Taylor, but I want to. But I'm not gonna. Okay. But I want to. I know, I know. Because you just want a friend in the group. No, no, no, no, no.

Because she's so, she's the most powerful person in the United States right now. I believe that. Okay. But she's busy and I also don't think she'll be able to commit. Right. So I'm able to commit. Right. So I'm going to pick Tina Fey. Okay. I'm adding Tina to the list.

She's in the Sedaris kind of scene? No, she's not there to make us laugh. She's so brilliant, but she's doing more and more behind. She's not being very vocal, but she has a ton of very smart interesting opinions so in our group she could share what needs to be done and how but without being forward facing you know why she's a good pick is she has proven that she can be productive in a shared space with other writers that's also You know, some of these folks are going to be hard. Like, Elon Musk has a brilliance, no question.

Like, if we need someone who's designing the future, he kind of, he's the obvious heir apparent. But I don't think he works in a group, right? But he's also, we don't need, we can't have anyone so rogue. Like, the people we're picking have to be like. Cooperative. Yeah. And a little more centered. Well, that's my point is I don't think he's a great working, sharing all these responses.

But I do. And this is where we might different. There might be a lot of fights about this. I'm not going to be picking people because I agree with them or politically I'm in line with them. Like I'm going to try to pick people who actually know an enormous sector of how the world works and they need to be on it. You know, I get that. Cause like it's getting real pragmatic. The 10 of us are going to run the world. Like someone has to know how to clean sanitation. Yes. And how banking systems work. I mean, they mainly need to know

who to appoint. That, to me, is the job of the president, which is, I guess, our job now as the Illuminati. Yeah. Is to know who to pick to head up things. So you personally don't have to have all the knowledge on

sanitation. Right. But you have to know who does and who will run it in a way that is in keeping with how we want the world run yeah yeah okay yeah because i don't think i want to put any uh sanitation people in right now it's limited space no but but again back to bill why i like bill is he has a complete understanding of that global health situation yeah what's killing us at the greatest numbers yeah he's worked with all the experts in that he knows how to deal with one of the biggest problems which is clean water and sanitation energy is another thing and he's got that locked down he understands global warming better than anyone like he's he he's got a big old understanding of most of the he does columns i guess we should put you all in

great great great great um i sign off in a second on that but we need some more women okay we've got two we have tina and me. Yeah. We need more. We need the rest to be women. If we could do, is Griselda alive? She, she's, I don't think she's with us anymore. Oh, dang. That would be a good pick, though. Yeah.

Like someone who knows how to fucking get shit done. Like a Martha Stewart. Mm. Oprah. I think she might be, yeah, Oprah's a good one. Marty is probably not good, because I think she's probably going to be gun shy after her time in jail. I'm trying to remember the woman. Her specialty wasn't crows, but she told us a lot about crows because her husband was into crows.

Lenore Skenazy? Yes. Yes, she was incredible. I found her to be very impressive. Good memory. Lenore Skenazy. I liked Woo Young On. incredible so i found her to be very impressive good memory lenore skanezi i liked woo woo woo young on that's what you're thinking right oh she was great all the the hiccups and thinking yeah that was cool that was a good one all right well i think we might need to come down so much

i think people might be getting a little we might impatient we might okay we're not we're gonna circle back but we have some we like. We have some contenders. Yeah. We should send people this letter. Go like, congratulations. You've been selected to be a member of the 10% Illuminati. Exactly.

If they were worth their salt, their very first order of business would be to kick the three of us out of it. I mean, of course. It's also very American. We've assembled a very American Illuminati. That's true, but we don't know a lot. No.

But clearly we gotta get like you know, we gotta get someone from India, someone from China, and someone from Europe. This is an American, the American sector. Does that mean Yuval has to leave? He's a citizen of the world, Rob. Okay. We'll come back to it. Okay. Okay, so this

is for Camilla Mendez. Oh, so much fun. So much fun. So, how much money did the Modern Family cast make? The adult cast members, by the last season,

are making $500,000. Per episode. Uh-huh. But to remind people, the big showdown wasn't about the per episode salary. It was they all united and didn't show up to work

to get points. And that ended up in court. That actually got litigated, I think. So they all have ownership over that syndication money. Yeah, which is huge. I thought it was interesting when we were talking about how Americans view family versus other cultures. The Brazilians.

And just a lot of other cultures. She's Brazilian, but it definitely translates to India. And Ana and I have talked a lot about it it too. I mean, she's from Venezuela. So there was, there's an article about how Americans view family and this breaks it down into two tenets. One, that Americans are typically pretty individualistic. Of course. Yeah. Even the notion of boundaries is so individualistic. Of course. Yeah. Even the notion of boundaries is so individualistic. It is, it is. Like, I have a boundary around me.

I'm an individual thing. And yeah, it affects where families choose to live. Many families will choose a location that provides the best career opportunities, even if this means

they must live far away from their extended family. Yeah, because I love, I think I love my family very high on the scale yeah and i got the fuck out of there like i didn't it didn't even wasn't even something i had to debate like right am i breaking anyone's heart by moving 3 000 miles away yeah didn't even think about it like no no i clearly have an obligation to go pursue this that's that right i know it is so different if they love me as my family,

that's exactly what they would want from me. But it also is, it's ironic because these other cultures, or I guess I'll just speak for Indian cultures, it's so family-based. Yeah. But also people leave the country. Mm-hmm.

And then they never really, like barely ever see them again. Am I wrong? I know this is certainly how it works with a lot of the migrant workforce that comes up from Mexico. They do send a couple solely to send money back to the family. Like ultimately, it really is about the family. It's not about them starting a new life in America. In fact, I remember Brie worked with a couple different guys at this restaurant. And they were sending their money back a ton. And then they just had a number that they were trying to hit.

And the second they did, they were all going home. They were going to reunite with their families. And then they would be all set. That's interesting. Yeah. There's some crazy story. Do you know this one? I want to say it's

about oh fuck i wish i could remember the name of who the actor was but there's some crazy story about some famous actress's housekeeper had been with her for like 30 plus years and had built a replica of the actor's house in me. And at a certain point- Wait, I feel like I've heard this too. Yeah, and then at a certain point, retired, moved there, and then the actress went broke and ended up moving to Mexico to live in the replica of her house.

Does this sound familiar? I think maybe you told me. Oh, man. I feel like maybe Kimmel knows this story. I don't know. I'm going to ask. I'm going to ask real time. Please.

Okay, let's see. I'm sure he's busy. Hey, I have this weird memory that there was some famous actress who had a housekeeper who lived with her for decades and then had saved all of her money and built a replica of the actress's house in Mexico, then retired and went to that house in Mexico, and then the actress went bankrupt,

and then she ended up moving in with the housekeeper in Mexico. Do you know this story and do you know who the players are? I feel like you would know it. Okay, we'll see how that goes. Okay. Google doesn't have anything. Okay. Okay, so yes, so pretty individualistic it says most americans will date many people

before they choose someone to marry furthermore most americans will choose the partner that makes them the happiest or the partner that they feel most emotionally and physically connected to their choice to marry has little to do with family alliances or even their parents impression of their chosen partner yeah okay let's see. American parents are expected to save money for their own retirement so as not to be a financial burden to their children when their health begins to decline in old age. Many adult children do not have the time to meet all their elderly parents' needs

and will sometimes place them in elderly care facilities. The second attribute common to most American families is a concept of the nuclear family. The nuclear family includes a married couple and their children. Most Americans live with their nuclear family and only see their extended family a few times a year. While this is true of most white American families, many African American and Latino families live with or near their extended families. In these cultures, extended family and community ties tend to be stronger. It is funny. I think we all just go out and chase all this individual glory,

and then I don't know that it results in elevated happiness than being with your family. I know. Well, yeah, I mean, like my brother was living with my parents for so long, and it was just like, oh, he's got to get out of there. He's got to go for me. I mean, that was my opinion on it. You know, my parents liked it. Of course. And of course they did. And they're from a culture where that's not a given that he should be leaving. Yeah. And I, and like now currently he's not there and, and I.

You want to move home? well I just feel like it's sad for them yes of course so yeah yeah you you have kids

and then you you have to make your whole life about them they get up and they walk out at one point it's pretty

tragic really yeah okay the NYU admission They get up and they walk out at one point. It's pretty stark. Tragic, really. Okay, the NYU admission cost currently is $58,000. Oof. And that's tuition. And then other costs, books and on-campus room and board, $23,000. So average cost before aid, $82,000. Ooh, mama. $82,000. So average cost before aid, $82,000. Ooh, mama.

$82,000. Even average cost after aid is $39,000. Wait, average cost after aid? Aid. Oh, aid is $39,000. Still so much. Yeah, how on earth does your average American- We can't.

They would have had to squirrel away $320,000 for a four-year degree. That's why everyone does- That's kind of criminal. Loans, and then they're paying them back for the rest of their life. $400,000? Ugh. Buy a rad house instead and read books. I know.

Well, that's what my parents said. They were like, we're not doing that. Right. Yeah, good for them. Yeah. But a lot of states don't have good in-state tuition, right? I mean, this Georgia thing you got was, that's lucky you lived in a state that had that.

It is. I mean, that was free, but it's still what, in-state tuition is always going to be not astronomical. I mean, NYU is a private school. That's why. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Okay.

They're just willy-nilly using New York. Yeah, you can do whatever you want. Could you do University of Los Angeles, California? Wait, what? Instead of University of California, Los Angeles. So it would be ULA. UCLA, that's a state distinction. Yeah.

But L-A-C. Yeah, it'd be U-L-A-C. And if there's a University of Los Angeles, Michigan, it'd be U-L-A-M. Oh, I love that. University of Los Angeles, Michigan. Yeah. I do remember being very confused in the 90s when I started seeing University of Phoenix in California. Oh, yeah, confusing.

And all over the country. Sure. Yeah. I'm like, what? How is this happening? And people would say, you lamb. What's that? University of Los Angeles, Michigan.

Oh, okay. They'd call it you lamb. Okay, yeah, that's cute. It's also what they pledged. They pledged you lamb. Yeah, and there are secret societies there. Is the lambs. Arr.

Oh, my gosh. Lambs are gentle. Yes, extremely. They're not threatening at all. Oh, should we talk about how this just reminded me, because animals and being gentle. A whiskey bit me. Oh, yeah, that's a while back. Yeah.

But I hadn't talked about it. Yeah. Well, I got another whiskey update that we can make a meal out of this. Okay. So first say what, tell everyone about your attack. Okay. If you're comfortable. Well, I was petting whiskey.

Uh-huh. And he loved it. Yeah. And then I stopped and I was talking to you. And then I went back and started petting again. And he freaked. He just jumped up and bit my hand. Uh-huh.

And it was so startling. Uh-huh. That it scared you. It really scared me. Yeah. And hurt your feelings quite bad. And it did hurt my feelings. Yeah.

And I cried. Yeah. Yeah. And then, wait, one more part. Oh, okay. Yeah. You know, I was like, ah, this, I hate dogs. And everyone always tries to get you to like dogs.

And then you decide to do it and then they bite you. Right. And that's cruel to do. And then the next day I was leaving here and Carly was with Whiskey in the yard and Whiskey comes like running up. Excitedly? Yeah. And I looked at him and I said, I'm still mad at you. Right.

Yeah. And then I felt guilty. Because he doesn't really have a memory. Yeah. He didn't know. You know, they're like humans in that we learn each other's triggers. So his thing is if he's laying down on a bed and you go to touch him he has that reaction that's just like i know but you had stopped and then he probably like entered a tiny bit of a sleep or something and then he when he

gets startled like that that's one of his things which is very unfortunate i don't even know i'm defending him because i'm about to tell you a story where I wanted to absolutely kill him, which was Valentine's Day. Kids bring home a box of chocolates. This is an age-old tale. We have dinner. It's fun. It's Valentine's, so I spoiled them.

What do you want? Sky's the limit. We ended up getting McDonald's. And Domino's has lava-filled cakes. Do you know this? Oh, wow. No. They're insane, as you would expect.

Yes. So that was the menu. What a party, you know? What a party for everyone. And go upstairs. Everyone's happy, Valentine's Day. And then I hear screaming and panic. They go into the bedroom and Whiskey has eaten every single chocolate in a huge box of chocolates.

Oh, no. And now all three gals are like really instantly atomic bomb, right? He's going to die. We need hydrogen peroxide. Where's hydrogen peroxide? I'm like, I don't know where hydrogen peroxide is. He's going to die. We need hydrogen peroxide.

Where's hydrogen peroxide? I'm like, I don't know where hydrogen. Now Kristen's going to the neighbors to get a bottle of hydrogen peroxide barefoot. Hold the dog. She's going to die. Oh, my God. And then come back. And then we got eye dropper. How many eye drops?

It's supposed to give two teaspoons. I'm like, in my mind, I'm like, I don't know what a fucking teaspoon is. I don't know how many droppers it's going to. So I go downstairs. I get a teaspoon. I don't know. You look at the acronym for these. They come do better between tablespoons and teaspoons.

And also, just write it. There's room to write it. Sure, sure, sure. Okay, so now I'm bringing up all these measuring fucking spoons. Yeah. There is no teaspoon one. There's a quarter teaspoon. So now I'm doing four into

oh my god this is madness four into a tablespoon and then taking the eyedropper and sucking out and seeing how many sucks I have to get

before I've gotten to a teaspoon so I determine we've got to do I don't know what it was eight eyedroppers of hydrogen peroxide down so she's holding him and if you think

he was biting you I mean he is going berserk, right? He is hard to handle. Hydrogen peroxide. Biting. She's holding them. Go, go, go. And I'm trying to get this fucking eyedropper of the hydrogen peroxide down his thing.

And it's like, I don't know. We get eight. How much got down the throat? Set him in the bathtub. Wait to see if he's going to throw up. Doesn't. Then we decide, fuck this. We just pour it in his mouth. What is is so cute and funny and i feel bad for him

he has no idea what this stuff is he likes it once we start pouring it directly into his mouth like forget the eyedropper he's like he's just drinking hydrogen peroxide so i think it tastes good going down but then um so now he's drank God knows how much. Oh, fuck. Certainly more than two tablespoons. But we looked up, can a dog die from drinking too much hydrobrite? Oh, my God.

So it's like now you're weighing the chocolate versus the hydrogen peroxide. Yeah. So anyways, we get a good deal of hydrogen peroxide in the dog. Then the dog's taken to the girls' bathroom, in the tub. And then I sat this part out that was enough drama for me i just kind of shut down on my bed i'm leaving out that the girls got in an incredible fight because whose fault was it the chocolate on the ground now i hear you know once in every 40 30 fights i hear f-bombs like that's when i know things are really popping off and it's

usually d-money let's be honest so i hear in there like it's not my fucking fault by the way it's just so funny how accurately she always uses it it never sounds like a kid using it yeah right on with it wow so she's in there dropping f-bombs i'm doing an eyedropper in the dog's mouth the whole thing i then just laid down in the bed i was like i need to dematerialize yeah apparently i did not observe this but then he let it rip in the bathtub right and there was according to all of them an impossible amount of chocolate oh my god yes so much chocolate like probably there would have been an issue. So he would have died. You know. Likely. Wow. Yes.

How long does it take? For the throw up? No, for. The death. Yeah. I don't know. Okay. Generally when you're like, you're in that panic.

By the way, this is not my first rodeo with a dog eating chocolate. I've now been around dogs for 17 years and they get into chocolate. That's what they do. They love it. I've heard if they have a little, it's like, fine. Okay, great. So here's what I'm like. Mostly, I've heard people are overreacting to it. Right.

And then it really has to be really high cocoa content chocolate. It has to be really dark chocolate and a lot of it. Yeah. So as everyone's panicking, I, of course, want to. You're like, it's not that big of a deal. What I want to tell all of them is like, guys, slow down. It's probably, let's just be realistic. Yeah.

Probably wasn't that dark a chocolate. He probably didn't even, you know. Yeah. But I knew that now's not the time. Yeah. We got to do all the stuff. And then I just participated. So I missed the big throw up and everything.

And then, truth be told, I just stayed in that bed for the rest of the. That feels fine. I get that. It takes six to 12 hours. Oh. So you get a little bit of time. But if it happened in the night, that's scary. Yeah.

Then we put them to bed at night. And it is a little bit like saying goodnight to someone who got a concussion. You are a little bit fingers crossed. Who knows what will happen in the middle of the night? Oh, my God. And then after that night we just had with him i was you know i was it was a push for me one way or another whether he passed peacefully in his sleep or he woke up you know i don't know i think this is a very male thing it's just like when you have some variable in your house that makes everyone go crazy. Yeah.

I have like such a caveman response, which is like, well, get rid of that variable. Sure. Yeah. This is pandemonium. Oh, Monica. I'm trying. You know, he's got a new routine. You're very sweet with him. He's got a new routine, which is like he wants to get on the bed.

Bark, bark, bark. You know, I'm meditating and he comes back. Bark, bark, bark. Barks the whole time I'm meditating. I fucking put him on the bed. Bark, bark, bark. You know, I'm meditating, and he comes back. Bark, bark, bark, bark. Barks the whole time I'm meditating. I fucking put him on the bed. I'm meditating. He jumps off for God knows what reason. And then four minutes later, bark, bark, bark, bark.

And I'm like, oh, my God. I want to go and fucking stay on the bed or stay off the bed. And then half the time, I'm not going to pick him up. So I'm just sitting there meditating while a dog barks as loud as it can. Yeah. Two feet from me. Ugh. And I'm like, this is madness.

This is where I get very self-centered. I'm like, why am I in a situation where I can't meditate? Sure. That seems crazy. Yeah. I know. I don't know what it is. It used to be you'd put him on the bed and he'd stay there.

That's out the window now. He needs to get down all the time. And it's just, it's madness. He's probably practicing. His quick escape. He's just trying to stay athletic. Yeah. It's his time to work out.

Yeah. Yeah. I think mentally he hangs on by a thread, if I'm being honest. I know. He's very depressed, I think. He's only got three legs, just to remind the listener. Whiskey's down a leg.

So he's got a lot of, you know, from one trauma boy to another. I should be a little more compassionate. You are. I think I am. You are. You are. Yeah, but he's been fucking pushing it, you know? It's time for me to say as a non-codependent, like, you need to get engaged in the fight here and try to get some help.

Yeah, but it's just like he doesn't know thoughts. Yeah, he doesn't know how to think it's like a big problem it's a major um obstacle for him doing any self-analysis i might introduce booze to the situation because you know as many alcoholics will tell you the medicine works for a period it works for a long time or can yeah and he's only gonna live another i don't know god i was thinking about that during the night of he's not an old dog right no no he has a while there could be 13 more years and slow decline yeah this is how he's acting at his fucking peak physical and mental prowess god

knows what shape he'll be in in eight years. Well, he might just chill out, though. I feel like some of these dogs just chill out. Yeah. Part of it is, yeah, he responds to any noise he hears in the yard and this and that. But anyways, so maybe I start giving him a can of beer every night. Let's try it. Let's try it. Okay. The name of the negging book is The Game.

Ah, The Game. Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists. Ah. Alternative title, How to Be a Piece of Shit. Basically. Okay, the Alexander Technique. I'm going to read a little bit about it. Well, I want you to and I don't want you to because I have so much fun with what I think it is and probably it's not what I think it is.

I know. Yeah. I guess I won't. I'll let it be. No, no, no, no. Read it, what I think it is. I know. Yeah. I guess I won't. I'll let it be. No, no, no, no. Read it, read it, read it, read it. No, no, I'll let it be. No, read it.

I can handle it. And then people can look it up. It's not breathing in each other's mouths in sweatpants. I mean, not really. Okay. But that could be a part. I'm not saying that didn't happen. No, no.

I was just teasing that. I don't want to know for real. Please tell us what it is. Okay. The Alexander technique is a type of alternative therapy based on the idea that poor posture gives rise to a range of health problems. Classifies it as psychological and physical complementary approach to health when used together with mainstream methods. So it's not even specifically for acting. It's like for movement class. Okay. to health when used together with mainstream methods. So it's not even specifically for acting.

It's like for movement class. Okay. Like it's connecting to your body. It's like a health technique. I mean, it started as that, I guess. Yeah. But then I guess actors use it to like get into their body. Yeah.

Get horny. Maybe help her for long-term back pain. Okay. For long-term back pain. Okay. For long-term neck pain. Say anything about scoliosis? Well, Parkinson's. Oh. Yeah. Okay, the method.

Most commonly taught in a series of private lessons, which may last from 30 minutes to an hour. The number of lessons varies widely depending on the student's needs and level of interest. Students are often performers such as actors, dancers, musicians, athletes, and public speakers, people who work on computers, or those who are in frequent pain for other reasons. Instructors observe their students and provide both verbal and gentle manual guidance to help students learn how to move with better poise and less strain.

Sessions include chair work, often in front of a mirror, during which the instructor will guide the student while the student stands, sits, and walks, learning to move efficiently while maintaining a comfortable relationship between the head, neck, and spine, and table work or physical manipulation. That's what I remember. I remember having to sit in a chair and then stand up. But I guess at NYU, maybe there's more. I think there's a lot of laying on each other and breathing each other's mouths. There definitely could be.

I think it'd be safe to guess that an Alexander instructor would be very against the chair that we sit in. Very. For our job. Very. Yeah. It requires zero posture, which is why I like it. I know. And I feel it.

I am so slumpy. I have a thing. You know what I do in the sauna? This started about, I don't know, eight, nine months ago. Now I have to sit completely erect for the 28 minutes. My posture, my back is erect. I can't lean on anything. I just have to be directly sitting up straight.

Use your abs, yeah. Yes. And what's funny is the hard part of the sauna is no longer the heat. It's just getting through the 26. Do you feel like it's gotten easier? Yes. To the point where I was doing it last night and I thought, is it time to try to do it while I meditate? I do feel like to be my best self, I should probably be not using anything to lean on while I meditate. So that's probably next.

probably be not using anything to lean on while I meditate. So that's probably next. To be your best self is to just do the meditation that feels best to you. Yeah, but I'm always trying to improve myself, right? So it's like before I couldn't, I remember when I started this thing in the sauna, doing five minutes without leaning on something straight up and down was brutal. Now I don't start getting bothered until like 15 minutes into it that's that's really good so then i thought well fuck if i could do it in the morning for 20 minutes when i meditate and then 26 28 minutes at night in the sauna i bet pretty soon i wouldn't even

notice that i have to do it yeah that well that's as long as you're not sacrificing your meditation that you're you like so much right I wouldn't want to prioritize that. Yeah. Also, you have scoliosis now, so you have to be a little careful. Well, but I've always had it, though. I just remember that. I think you got it maybe in this last eight months because of your posture. I don't know if that's it.

But similarly, I hiked yesterday. Oh, yes. And Armcherry saw me after she saw you oh really because one arm cherry like i was listening to my ear pods but my buds because i've made my air maxes stink too much from that's a whole other whole other fact check about what apple if you're listening sell replacement yeah donuts i think that's that's sell them because when i go on amazon i can only find third-party makers of them i've ordered them i don't like them make those available they get stinky or at least tell me how to wash them i'm also curious we

looked it up remember and there was something about like i feel like vinegar i want to say vinegar but maybe i made that up but there is a cure-all for stank. Well, it just makes another stink. My thought was put it in the dishwasher. They sell cushions. That's on the Apple website? Yeah, 70 bucks. Dude, how much? 69.

I was fucking looking on that website for days and couldn't find that. Will you send me that link? Mm-hmm. Okay, well that solves that. Great. But do you think you could put them in the dishwasher? Maybe. But nope, don't put any other-

Foods in there? Dishes in there. Oh, okay. Like ever again. Do a dry fire, as they would say in- I don't, I mean, do you kind of like the smell? No, I wouldn't have probably noticed. Yeah.

Because I never smelled them, which is weird, because I smell everything. I'm a gross motherfucker, so I'm not even acting like. No. I would smell anything. If I itch my butt, I would smell my finger. Right. Yes. So I'm just saying I'm not acting like I'm puritanical.

Oh, yeah. No. Or a prude about this. Right. It just didn't cross my mind. They're on my ears. But yeah, I hike in them all the time. And you work out. Yeah. But Lincoln smelled them. Right. She was like, oh, my God. They're on my ears. But yeah, I hike in them all the time. And you work out, yeah.

But Lincoln smelled them. Right. And she was like, oh my God, yeah, these smell so gross. Yeah. And then I smelled them and I had to agree, they didn't smell great. Okay, so you were able to smell it once you smelled it. Yeah, and you know why it's not a good smell? It's like an old moisture smell in a locker room.

Right. It's like something's trapped. It's not like BO or putty or any other number of smells yeah it is like it's like when your towel yes gets moldy yes i don't i've never had this but i'm assuming like if someone really sweats through their socks and they smelled their sock i've never done that either but yeah everyone talks about sweaty socks but is it real certainly people have really sweaty feet i don't yeah personally they're like oh stinky socks like i've met you're right my socks don't smell yeah but people are always good but my kids socks smell

sometimes yeah they'll smell vinegary and their shoes will stink little kids shoes stink like this shoe i could throw it to you right now this This shoe, I just saw a photo of myself in this exact pair of Chuck Taylor All-Stars. I've had those shoes for over 14 years. Smell them. Yeah, they smell fine. It's fine, right? I mean, it's not like it smells great, but 14 years.

They don't even look dirty. And you've never cleaned them. No, I've never cleaned them. Wow. Yeah. You know me and my shoes. The dirtier they get, the more I like them. You're very clean.

Let me smell. How do they smell? Let me, let me at them. Oh, God. Let me at them. Send them over. They could smell better. No, they, they smell like the fabric softener that your socks have on them.

They don't smell at all, Rob. Yeah, it smells nice. It's nice, right? Perfume. That's a fun game we should play more often, chucking Monica's shoe around. Okay. Well, I love you. Is there any more facts?

Oh, I think there might have been. Let's see really quick. Puce, just for people, I hope they looked it up it's a gorgeous color it's a pink um yeah it's not the green shit color we thought we thought it was a pukey color but actually it's it's not it's a beautiful pink should you do a wall in your new house puce is there a room that would um accommodate that i think i could. I wonder what a whole wall, if it would be overwhelming. It seems, in my recollection, when we looked it up, it's a light pink.

It's not too bold. No, it's a little bit... This is... Yeah, that's not very overwhelming for one wall. I wouldn't call it pastel, though. It has a pigment. Okay. But one wall. Okay, maybe. I don't know. Think it over. But one wall. One, okay, maybe. I don't know.

Think it over. I'll think it over. You call the pews room. You're sleeping in the pews room when you have visitors. Okay, real quick. Mary Steenburgen, you know, we mentioned that she had- Synesthesis? No, she got like a minor surgery and then got really good at music. Yeah, I thought that was called synesthesia.

Synesthesia is when you like see color. I mean- Yeah, hear music. Yeah, I thought that was called synesthesia. Synesthesia is when you see color. I mean. Yeah, hear colors. Yeah, exactly. Okay. Yeah, on People Magazine, it says Mary Steenburgen's brain. She woke up from minor arm surgery in 2007. And her brain was only music.

An odd result that led her to a new songwriting career. Yeah. She said that her brain felt out of control immediately after surgery. It felt strange as soon as the anesthesia started to wear off. The best way I can describe it is that it just felt like my brain was only music and that everything anybody said to me became musical. All my thoughts became musical. Every street sign became musical.

I couldn't get my mind into any other mode yeah that's nuts it is very nuts i've talked to her about it and it's very compelling and i believe her 100 yeah and then last thing some people who have synesthesia but we're not willing to call what she has synesthesia well i, I don't think she... I know, I think it's just like now there's music in her brain. But if like stop signs are musical, isn't that the same as smelling music? Maybe. I don't know. I don't either.

Maybe. Pharrell. He has it. Billy Joel. Tori Amos. Van Halen. Duke Ellington. Billy Eilish. What member of Van Halen?

Eddie. Oh, Edward. Kanye. Sure. Stevie Wonder. I think he has more than just that. Yeah. David Hockney, the artist, Charlie XCX.

Also, Pharrell, I've heard he, and maybe this is related, who told us this, that he knows every Pantone color? XCX. Also, Pharrell, I've heard he, and maybe this is related, who told us this, that he knows every Pantone color? Oh, someone did tell us that. Someone told us that. I bet it's connected to this. Maybe each one represents a song. Maybe music is in color or something.

Yeah. Oh, no. It's pretty cool. I wish I had that. It sounds a little distracting if you ask me. I think I have enough going on in my brain. But to taste color, I'd like. Yeah.

And although you're only imagining the yummy flavors. I know. But if you saw some color and you were like immediately tasting licorice. Yeah. You'd be like, ugh. You wouldn't want. You gotta assume that as many times as you like the taste, you would not like the taste. I know. you're right.

But it's just like a fantastical way to live your life, to go through the world. More Hogwarts-y. Yeah. Well, I was thinking about Bertie Botts' beans or whatever. Oh, that's part of Hogwarts? Yeah, they're jelly beans and they taste... Oh, like emotions? Well, no, they just, they they taste like stuff like regular jelly beans but they have crazy flavors like catfish and well yeah they have catfish and they have lint ear lint

yeah and then you can buy they made that into an actual product oh my god probably you know that okay you know when your ear your ear hole because you have one yeah yeah um two and you know when your ear hole, because you have one. Yeah, yeah, two. And you know how sometimes it smells? Yeah. Does yours ever still smell sometimes? I don't think it ever smells. Really? Did mine used to smell?

You're saying is it done? Mine sometimes smells. But you asked me is it done smelling, which makes me nervous that my ears have smelled in the past. Because I guess I assume everyone's. So you get some wax on your finger, you smell it, and it has a weird smell. Is that what you're saying? No, no, no, not. I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry. Your earring hole. Oh, God, yes. If you push out the gunk. There's juice in there. Yeah, it's like dead white blood cells. Right. Pus.

Well, sometimes nothing comes out. But if I just like squeeze on the holes yes that's got the must smell yes yeah i have a really gross i got one i got an example but i think people throw up while they're driving okay well turn it off if you're gonna throw up while you're driving okay i'm glad it's gone and i miss it okay i used to lay in bed and I would like play with the skin in my armpit. And at some point, I think I had an ingrown hair. And at some point, I popped something. And somehow it just stayed a thing like an earring hole for a long time.

But I would forget about it. That was the best is if I forgot about it for like a month. And then I was digging around there watching like 24 or something right back in Santa Monica and I'd feel that little ball and then I would squeeze it and I would get out this is what's going to make you throw up it's cheese you'd get cheese

don't call it that you shouldn't call it that you gotta call it what it is it's cheese and then yes I would smell that and it was terrible but I also loved it i know i don't understand i don't know what's going on i know with humans i mean i guess it's evolution but why do we like we shouldn't have to like these gross smells about us see we yes we've had so many psychologists on we've never asked the correct question which is like why would we enjoy smelling the cheese from our armpit or belly button or any

of your ear hole your belly button has cheese mine doesn't but i just assume people's does like if they got their navel pierced they probably have cheese any time oh yeah i think maureen's here okay all right um all right well i guess we'll end on that okay i love you and i'm sorry if you that was rough in the car yeah i'm sorry if you threw up in the car I'm sorry if you threw up in your car Bye bye