Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard - Dave Franco Returns

Episode Date: September 14, 2026

Dave Franco (Idiots, The Studio, Together) is an actor, writer, and director. Dave returns to Armchair Expert to discuss growing up as the youngest of three brothers, being a hopeless romantic from childhood, and becoming Hollywood’s sexiest cat dad. Dave and Dax talk about pursuing Idiots for a decade, surviving the exhausting long takes of The Studio, and forging an identity outside his brother’s shadow. Dave explains why vulnerability is worth the risk, why he stays off social media, and why the right relationship gets better with time.Thank you to our presenting partner Lilly. Lilly’s Foundayo™(orforglipron). Advertisement Disclaimer: Please see Indications and Safety Summary with Warnings for Foundayo™(orforglipron) at https://www.foundayo.lilly.com/risk Start your 2 month free trial today: https://youtube.com/premium . Terms Apply. Cancel Anytime.Check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds: https://www.allstate.com/ Take printer ink off your to-do list with HP Smart Tank | http://www.hp.com/SmartTankSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Welcome, welcome, welcome to armchair expert. I'm Dach Shepard and I'm joined by Monica Badman. Hi. Are you just cleaning up your computer over there? I am. Okay. I hope you get it spig and span. We have a returning guest, but first time in person and the difference was profound.

I couldn't believe that because he, we had him on in COVID and that was revealed when we were talking to him. And I had such, I had like, if you had asked me to bet half of my money. Yeah. I would have said we had him in person. Yeah, that's a testament to his charisma that even through the computer screen, you thought you know. Of course, we're talking about Dave Franco. Dave Franco is an actor and a filmmaker and a cutie pie. His credits include together, regretting you, now you see me, Hoppers.

He has a new movie in theaters, August 28th, called Idiots, and another movie, September 25th in theaters called Forgotten Island. Please enjoy the charming Dave Franco. He's an object square. He's an ultrabexmer. Oh, what a nice card. It is. How did sweat so fucking much, I would join you, because I have a dazzling collection.

Of Cardi's? Yeah, Cardi B's. Have you tried them in here? You kind of perspireate too much? You'll see at the end of this in this t-shirt, this thin t-shirt with the A-C on, I'll be damp as hell in back. Yeah. To run to me.

Look at this cute little space, man. I know you were Zoom. I know. Last time I was over Zoom. Did you remember that? Of course. I mean, I remember that obviously we had you, but I guess I didn't clock it that it was Zoom. And then I listened to like the first 20 minutes of it.

And it was PTSD. July 2020. Wow. That's wild. I was going to ask when you guys have returning guests, like, do you go back just to make sure that we don't cover the same stuff? A little bit. Don't worry. I did it.

I'm like such a nerd that I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm. I don't want to repeat myself. You're such a good student. Yeah. That's crazy. I would have bet all my money that you were in person. And three years ago. That is wild.

Yeah, I know. I know. Six years ago. But yeah, of course. What? You know what happens is the other thing is when I go back and they're in that period of quarantine when we were doing Zoom? I have all these feelings about it. One is like anything that was recorded in media for a year is almost singularly about that experience.

Yeah, right, right. Exactly. We're just talking about what we're going through in the moment and this is like unprecedented times. And it was weird looking back on that because what? We were like a few months into the pandemic at that point. But it was long enough to know that like we were past. Remember very early on we were like, okay, this is going to be two weeks. And like, and then we'll go back to normal.

But we were at the point where it was like we don't know how long this is going to go. And it feels kind of hopeless. We were in like a little bit of a hopeless place. Yeah, you were at like apex. Oh, wait. This is actually terrible. Yes. Which is why it was nice talking to you guys.

It was a nice highlight in the middle of that. Okay, I have a quick question because I got to say it made my 2025. And I do wonder if it was reported back to you. Okay, tell me. So I was on a hike with Jake Johnson and Vincentinoffrio. And we got up above the observatory and we're just about to take the trail up to the very top. Yeah, yeah. And we ran into your lovely wife, Allison.

Okay. She stops. And she's like, oh, hey, and we're just chatting. And then she goes like, oh, my God, you look great. And she like touches my shoulder. Yeah. And then she goes, and you guys look. great and Jake goes, oh, bullshit.

You just threw us, you know, like, it was a hysterical moment that Jake Johnson called that. Oh, she first said it to you and then it's like, oh, you guys also pretty good over there too. She was like actively grabbing my shoulder. Yeah, yeah. And then she was like, oh, wait, I got to give everyone to come. But anyways, the rest of that high guy was just kind of tiptoeing up the hill. Can I say, and this is going to sound like I'm just piling on, the hug that I got from you when I came in here. And you're a good hugger.

and you gave me that body, man. I want to give you that oxytocin. I want you to feel me because I've been working a little. Yeah, funny enough, I bring up this question to ask you. You're 41 now? Yeah, later this week. Oh, my God, happy birthday. Yeah, yeah, thank you.

That's exciting. Okay, so you're about to turn 41. Correct. And you're very spelt, and I was curious, are you genetically an anomaly? Are you mindful of all this? I think it's part genetics, but I'm definitely mindful. We take care of ourselves. We really look at Kevin Bacon.

and Kira Sedgwick and we're like, look at them, man. They are keeping it tight. They look good. They've always looked good. And they make it look effortless. Totally. But like Allison, she's been going to this gym rise movement for 15 years now. And it's like some of the best trainers around.

And I was like intimidated to go in there for a long time because you got like heavy hitters going in. She is. She is a heavy hitter. Oh my God. It's incredible. I know. Her physique. Yes.

Yeah. Maybe subconsciously that's why I was staying away. I'm like, I can't have my wife show me up in here. Exactly. But I finally started going in and it's nice. It's nice to have a trainer. It makes such a difference. Yeah, let's go through it.

I think for, and I'd love to know the female perspective, I think I have a hunch on it. But it's like, even when I was young and started going to the gym at Bailey's Total Fitness in Santa Monica, you had the whole ride there. I have all this anxiety that I'm going to get there and everyone's going to be so muscular. And then I'm going to be working out and I'm going to look stupid. I'm probably doing it wrong. Just the amount of fear I have, which is kind of crazy. It is kind of crazy.

They're not shoving the skinny guys around at the gym. Sure, but have you ever been like a really skinny guy? Yeah, when I started. Sure, okay, okay. Yeah, I was a bean pole. But you were not really, like, really skinny. Oh, my father. I just went out to like 23 or four.

Yes, I know the feeling well, but there was some stat that someone threw at me recently. Who knows if it's true. But it was like when you're working with a trainer, you're working like 60, percent harder. I believe it. Yeah, right? Yeah. And it's like as much as I can do at home, which I was doing it pretty consistently, you kind of plateau.

And since I've been going to the gym, I'm like, ooh, I feel different. What were you wanting to hear a female opinion on? Yeah, so what's the hurdle when a girl thinks about first going to the gym? Oh, I see. You guys have like an outfit you got to worry about, probably for starters. Yeah, what are you going to wear? Is there makeup going on before the gym? Not for me.

Okay, okay, yeah, yeah. Because that's not good for the skin. Oh, totally. But some people probably do. Sure. Other than Soul Cycle, have you ever been to like a weightlifting gym? Like have I, what's it, subscribed? Or just like gone to like an equinox in like, you have.

I have, but I've never joined a gym. Yeah, okay, good. Because I know you can't quit. You know, I've learned about that from friends. Oh, interesting. It's like the Seorg commitment in Scientology. It's like a billion year contract. They won't let you.

They take you in a separate room. I've seen this and I'm scared. So no. Oh. Oh, but I was a cheerleader in high school. I had to bring that out. Competition cheerleader. And we weight trained three times a week.

Okay. In the football weight training. But with your team, right? All your fellow girls. Without other people. Yeah, I do think it's scary to just, you feel like you're in a fish bowl at the gym. People are looking at you. I know.

That's why I like this gym, though. There's only ever like three other people working out there at the most. Everyone's kind of in their own world. You see other famous people there. Of course. That's good. Extra motivation, baby. Yeah.

That's good. But also you look stupid at the gym. Like, if you're doing it right, you're like breathing bad. For sure. For sure. But again, when it's so intimate like that at this gym, you don't care. Everyone's in it. We're all looking like idiots.

We're all sweating our ass off. It's fine. Would you feel unethical for you to tell me the biggest celebrity you've seen there working out? Gosh, I only say this because, oh gosh. I'll match you. Why don't you doing charades and we'll guess it? Okay. You know, I say this.

this because I think it's known that his trainer is the guy who owns the gym is Jake Gyllenha. Oh, we love Jake. I mean, Beast. Jackie G. Oh, Jackie G. Everything, the lats, the fucking a house. He's got it all, man. Did you see Roadhouse? Of course.

That Vod, man. You wouldn't quit. Oh, no. Tell me yours. Put it on me, Jake. One up me, baby. Well, this one's special because A, it was in the wild. Oh, oh. And I would agree it's like a top five body of all time in cinema. Go on.

Daniel Craig at a hotel in London. Tell me about that in person. Well, sadly, I didn't get to watch him in action. He was exiting with a good sweat. Nishim on. But he was post gym where he was puffed up, man. Yeah. He had the pump on.

What was crazy is our friend Molly was there, and she had observed him through the whole workout. And I was like, Molly, could you just not take your eyes off of him? And she's like, I was so afraid to look at him. Oh, that's interesting. Of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what?

We respect Molly for not looking, though. Yeah, we do. We don't quite understand the not looking, but we respect it. I respect it. I respect it. You can't just be gawking at someone, again, bad breathing. People are doing weird breathing. He's in a place, though, where it's like he's in his element when he's in that gym.

And typically when you're doing something that you love that you know you're good at, you don't mind people gawking a little. He's like a stand-up doing his routine. There we go. I like that. I like that. Yeah, he's throwing the fucking big pass or whatever. Let me circle back real quick to why we started talking about all this. My wife giving you a compliment, doesn't it feel good coming from Allison?

You can't imagine. I mean, you can because you're married to her. Every day. Does she let it rain on you? There's times where she like really lets it flood, man. And I'm just like waking up every day and she's like, you look good. And I'm like, really? Tell me more.

Go on. But like she's just this ray of light that it's like when she shines it on you. There's no feeling like it. Tell me more. Because virtually the only line of reasoning that I won't interrupt is if you've got a lot to say about my physique. I have all day for that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're so right.

Well, that's a good trick if you want to get you to stop talking. That is. Oh, it's an easy. Steam roll. I'll say this about Kristen. Kristen has found the magic ratio of withholding approval from me and giving me approval. Oh, interesting. Because I don't do well if I think someone likes me too much, or I have a, quote, fan.

I don't want a fan. Oh, I get you. Does it ever get to the point with her, though, where it feels like she's going too far? No, this is what I'm saying is I tip my hat to her for 19 years. Somehow, she's kept me at like 1% below what I want. Okay. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I'm wondering. Something to work up to still. How do you do with too much affection now and up? Like, here's what it is. I want to win her over every day. Oh, I get it. Where are you at? That's interesting.

I don't know if I put a limit on it. Just shower me, baby. Just let me have it. That's honest. That said, like, when it is, when she is, like, feeling super cuddly or affectionate, I think my natural inclination is to be, like, stop. Well, I actually bring it up because there's this hilarious moment. And I had already heard the story the first time you were on about the wonderful night in New Orleans

where you guys had your 72 hours of blitz. But a new detail I heard in my research this go-round was that after that first night of fun, when you woke up in the morning, she was gently kissing your shoulder. Oh, yeah, man. See, now that's the kind of thing that might make me panic. It's interesting because with the wrong person, that's panic material. Yeah, I mean, so basically we had this crazy first night together, literally on drugs, just going nuts. And I think we said it before, we slept together the first night and then we wake up.

And she wakes me up with these gentle little back kisses. Wow. Wow. Yeah. That could go either way. Totally. Good for her. Good for her for going for it.

She must have known. Yeah. But what she reminded me of recently, she told me, maybe it was that next morning. She was like, hey, I'm not looking for anything serious. I'm here. I'm basically like, let's fuck around until you find the girl that you're going to marry. And I was like, whoa, did you mean that? Or was that a ploy?

Monica, how are you in terms of withholding, giving affection? I'm pretty withholding. Okay. I think. Why is that? I think I can be quite affectionate, but I also didn't grow up with a lot of physical affection or even I would say verbal affection. Okay, yeah, yeah.

So it's not like all that natural to me. Yeah. It really requires a full body butterfly. Like, I can't not. I get that. Do you feel a little even uncomfortable or vulnerable when you're fully going for it with someone, even with friends, will you allow yourself to be, like, very effusive with friends? Very, that's a good question.

What I answer for you? Yeah. I think she's a lot better at doing it behind their back. Oh, that's interesting. Yeah. So it's not that she doesn't have it. I just think you're more prone to, like, tell all of us how spectacular Jess is before you would ever tell Jess how spectacular.

Yeah. That's right. And then so there's something interesting there. I know, I know. I don't want anyone's, like, head to get too big. I mean, I will if somebody's down. Oh, oh, oh. Like, if somebody's down, I do think I'm like, what do you mean?

You're so great. But if they're high, if they're flying, like, I don't need to boost them even further. But Monica, can I ask this a really daisy question? Yes, of course. Do you think it's if that you lay it on that much and they realize how great they are, they won't want to be around you? Hmm. I feel like people are the opposite. I feel like if you're telling someone how great they are,

they're like, oh, I want that person around me all the time, right? Yeah. Well, we know that to be true. Right. But I think a lot of people think they're friends with somebody that's out of their league or they're dating someone out of their league. And that's why dudes who are insecure want to control their ladies. That's why they're nagging them.

Like, they think, oh, if I lower their self-esteem, they'll feel like I'm worthy of them. These sound like unhealthy relationships. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm thinking of the people in my life who are like my close circle. I want to tell them every second how great they are. I want to build them up.

I don't think that's how I love. That's okay. I think most people, maybe I'm wrong, we'd have to do a poll, but I think most people who I do love, who I'm very close to, feel loved by me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think that they're like, mm-hmm. Through your actions.

A lot of through my actions. I also do a lot of checking in. I am very much like, haven't talked in a while, let's check in, instead of just like, I love you, you're so great. So it's different approaches, but I'm going to be thinking about this. This makes me think, how are you guys in terms of, because I was just talking to a friend about this the other day, are you guys generous laughers?

Yes. Well, I know I am, and I don't know what it was like before the groundlings, but I certainly know because I was at the groundlings and on Wednesday nights, everyone all week long has written five or six sketches. So you watch 100 sketches from like 6 p.m. to 1 in the morning. Well. And as a team, as people who love each other, like you show up for those sketches. And if your sketch goes up at 10 o'clock at night.

night. Everyone knows like, let's fucking go, you know. Yeah. So I think I did have years of really learning to be that way. Yeah, yeah. But I'll be at table reads and stuff. And I'm like, guys, what the, why aren't you giving it up? Maybe they think it's rude. I don't know. How about you? I think I am. And it's nice. It's nice to be around those people who are always laughing. It is. If you really break it down, there might be a tiny bit of insincerity, maybe. Right. But like, for the most part, they just want to have a good time. They're just trying to encourage you. Keep, yeah. Of all the things you can get caught, doing trying to make someone feel good by adding 10% to the laugh. Like, I'll live with getting busted for

that. Totally. That is very true. I was talking to my buddy and he was like, I don't know if I'm a generous laffer and I think that is something that I actually can change about myself and that I do want to change going forward because he's a funny guy himself. And maybe that's why he's not a generous laver because he's like, I want you to earn it from me. I'm around really funny people. If I'm going to laugh, I want to really laugh. He's ahead of it sometimes. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. He's not coming. Yeah. Well, also, hmm,

nothing is tricky because I have kids as well. And I did feel this crazy obligation. I'm like, I also need to teach them what funny is. So I'm not laughing

at their shitty jokes. Okay. They'll know when it's real. Yes. When they get me. Okay, this is a dangerous one. I'm going to say it anyways because I'll stand by the fact

that it is not racist. Oh, boy. Good way into any story. Absolutely. So we ordered Katsuya, our favorite sushi place on Friday night, and everyone's kind of waiting, you know, everyone's impatiently waiting for the food.

Someone's like, where's the food? I look it up and I go, okay, the Japanese food will be here in 13 minutes. And my kids are on high alert for anything racist or homophobic, right? Right. Because they're little kids in L.I. And they go, dad, as soon as I say Japanese food. And I go, guys, it is Japanese food. There's nothing racist going on.

You're allowed to say Japanese. Right. So basically, I'm three to one. but then five minutes later the little ones watching TV and she goes Dad when's that Japanese food getting here Yeah that's a great callback I was just level yes yes

Because it was so unexpected because I was already in trouble And she flipped it that's good that's good But like when you don't laugh at one of their jokes It doesn't deter them they're not like oh I'm gonna Ooh I feel like oh I can't maybe put myself out there again Yeah I don't shame them I just smile like good at times not funny Try again

I'm not passing on like accounting skills to them or manufacturing. Right. Right. I know one thing. You got something that you really can't pass on though. That's all I got to pass on. Well, both of their parents are funny. Some automotive knowledge.

You know who the friend I was talking about who's trying to be more of a generous laffer is Hunter Cope, who you did his show, The Perfect Parfay. Oh my God. And Hunter loves you and he really appreciates you coming on the show. That was so fun. Is he single? Hunter is not. He's not.

Is he open to a divorce? If I paid for the legal fees? He's pretty newly married. We can discuss. We can check it. We need to let that, you know, linger for a little bit. But Hunter, he's got this interview show that has some DNA from between two ferns. And Monica went on and he truly said you were the greatest and I watched your episode and you were just such like a team player.

You were just game for everything. That's so nice. Well, you know, part of the reason I went on is I was like, what's this? Like, it came through my agency. And then I was like, oh, Dave did it. I'll do it. Is that why? Really? Oh, cool. Oh, good. Yeah, he's signing off on this. And then it was so fun.

Good, good. Yeah, yeah. It's nice when you see your friends do something that is just so purely them. It's just like unfiltered Hunter this show. And what that means is on this show, he's asking me about analingus. Yes, of course. Which Scars Guard, brother, I'd rather fuck. But like that's Hunter. It's great. You do you, man. Yeah. Sounds like this show, really. Oh, I was going to say that when we were talking earlier about intimacy, sort of.

I think holding hands is more intimate than anal-lingus. Is that a true statement? I mean, I'm debated right times on this, but I never thought to just say. I get the hyperbole. It's a bit of a hyperbole. But I do think it's the most intimate thing you can do is holding definitely than kissing. But Monica, I have to throw a hypothetical idea. Yeah.

Yeah. You just got an Uber ride home from the airport, fill in the blanks of who the dude is in L.A. And at the end, you're about to get out, an angel comes down and goes, to save the world, you either have to hold his hand or have him butt fuck you. What are we picking? How long we holding the hand for? As long as the butt bugging would take, I presume. Fingers interlocked. Lots of caressing while holding hand.

Okay. Maybe even coming up under the wrist a little bit. Oh, that's, oh, wow. Full intimacy. Okay, how sweaty's the head? The black of that. Ew, too. Sweat.

Well, he's been driving smoking cigarettes and selling on the parking lot. He's a dark bag. Modica answered the question. Yeah. If it was a stranger, I'd handhold. It's not when it's a stranger. It's if you're on a date. Like, I went on a date with someone.

And he started holding my hand. And I was like, oh, no. Get me out of this situation. My ass is yours to do with as you wish. Just picking this apart. Handholding is very intimate. Like, we're in a relationship. This is a more serious thing.

A butt. Fuck. It just feels a little more raw, a little more like... Requires more trust. Well, no. The butt fuck. Yes, of course. Trust me, I'm trying to get on board with her theory here.

I don't agree with it, but I'm trying to see your side of things. It's because that's, okay, more trust in that because they could do something bad to me. You need them to really, you need them to be proceeding at a velocity and tempo. they have to be very dialed into what you're up to. It feels like you're kind of remembering one instance where someone maybe held your hand that you didn't like it. Yeah. And I really didn't like it at all.

Right. But it was just the wrong guy at the wrong time. I know. But even like sometimes Jess, my best friend, sometimes will grab my hand. He's my best friend. I love him. But I'm like, oh, it does something weird to me holding hands. Can I hold your hand by the end of this interview?

Oh, wow. And then, Daxe, I want you to feel me up by the end of this interview. I hope you. Fuck up for you. It'll be a change. Do whatever you want otherwise. And Monica, to make this a full circle, you'll be making me a salad. Oh, great.

Yeah, that's your awful. How fun. How fun. Okay, but I want to circle back to, so when she said the part about inflating someone and I made the observation. My hand is getting a little sweaty thinking about holding your hand. Continue, continue. Yeah, it would be a drenched right now.

Because you know how high the stakes are. Sure, yeah. You'd either be a life partner or not based on this. I know, and I just want to change your whole mindset on this. Continue. That's really nice. But the thing I was touching on with her giving a lot of compliments of me asking if her fear would be than they might leave her. It was a pattern that she had told me about before, which so many people

have, which is like you're into somebody, you think they're out of your league. And then lo and behold, they start liking you. And then what the brain does, because it's corrupt, is it says not, oh, yeah, yeah, I got the thing. It goes, oh, you're not as good as I thought you were because you like me. And now I'm not into you because I went me into someone that likes me. So you can wrap your head around that frame of mind, right? Oh, 100%. But that isn't you, right? Because the approval thing. doesn't appeal to you or wanting to win it. Gosh, I guess I can only just talk about my own experience, like when I first met Allison, and I know this is a rare thing, and I personally don't always feel this, but when we met each other, for whatever reason, both of us just allowed ourselves to be

vulnerable and just be like, hey, I'm in, let's not play any games. This might not work. One of us might get hurt. We both might get hurt. But for whatever reason, there's an energy here that I feel safe to just go all in on. No protection. Exactly. Yeah, yeah. didn't even use a condom the first. I was like, I was waiting. We did. We did. That was the only protection.

That was the only responsible thing you did that. Exactly. Because what I love about you as a kid, I find this so endearing. You just were so in love with being in love, right? You were sensitive and you were listening to music and when you got a girlfriend, you were writing her poems at a very young age. And then you had another girlfriend on Valentine's Day. You went to every single classroom and to put a rose in the classroom.

She would get it. And then you've later admitted it was way too early to do that. I was a sensitive, romantic. boy. Yeah. Yeah. It is interesting because I guess thinking about even like my dating history before obviously I met Allison, I had always been the person who I didn't have many one night stands. I would kind of meet someone through a friend and whether it became like a real thing or just for a few months. It was never a quick thing really. It was always like, ooh, I don't know how to do just a quick thing with someone that I have no connection with, which also became tricky because when you

kind of have a connection enough to hang out for a few months, then feelings do get involved. It was a little tricky in navigating that, but I guess this is a long way of saying, I don't know how to just kind of be that guy who's like, oh, I'm not going to be nice to you. I'm going to just come in. We're going to fuck and that's it. So I know at least minimally a couple of times you got broken up with. Definitely my heartbroken for sure, yes. So these girls that broke up with you.

Yeah. I mean, you're so fucking cute. It gives me butterflies to look at you. I'm not even kidding you. Like the way you smile and. close your eyes and I see your wisdom teeth. It's so cute. No one's ever talked about.

See those wisdom teeth. I've been waiting my whole life. I'm here. I'm here, baby. Move over, Allison. But you're so cute and you're really, really smart and you have gotten a great personality. So I guess my question is, why were these girls leaving you? And do you think it's because you were too available that you didn't withhold enough?

You know what's interesting? When I'm thinking about this one person, it might have been that. I was all in where I was. like, this is the person I'm going to marry. Without going too much into it, again, I didn't hold back. She knew exactly how I felt. I was going above and beyond to let her know. And even when I could feel a change, I knew things were changing and how she felt about me,

I wouldn't allow myself to accept it. I was like, okay, she's not treating me great, but that's okay. This is the woman I'm going to marry. This is a phase. So my wife doesn't like this? Exactly. I've heard that's a normal. But it would be, not that I would ever ask her this,

but like it would be interesting to be like, hey, was he too available? Was he piling it on too hard? Yeah. And you know what's interesting is like, that is the right thing to do. I would not want to suggest people shouldn't do that. Yeah.

I will say for a lot of people, I think that's the line you're trying to tow. And sadly because I think a lot of us are very insecure and a lot of us are operating like Monica did and how I did. I was constantly figuring out what girl I couldn't get and then spending my entire waking life trying to get them. Yeah. And then if I got them, just as mass confusion would follow.

A, I didn't like myself more, which I thought was supposed to happen. Like, why don't I now think I'm worthy of them? And then it just gets all murky. What I'll say about just this girl I was just talking about, I wouldn't have done anything differently. It's not like knowing what I know now, I'd go back and be like, ooh, maybe I should be a little more coy and not give her everything. Because ultimately, she wasn't the girl for me. Exactly. And what I'll argue is she might have been insecure, whereas Allison is very secure, to me,

definitely. Seems like Bell, where it's just like some preternatural fucking confidence. For sure. That was part of the reason I was drawn to Allison. It was like she knows who she is. She's very confident. She's so independent. She doesn't need me, but maybe I can bring a little extra boost to her life.

Yeah. So if you, a cute dude like you is super into her, she's not thinking something's wrong with the cute dude who's super into me because I'm not worthy of that. Yes, yes. So I guess that is, if you can assess appropriately, your partner is a little insecure, then I do think it's at least tactically advisable to monitor that. And then like we slowly lift the self-esteem over time. I don't know.

I agree with Dave. I feel like all it means is it's not the right match. You are you. So if you are trying to not be you to sort of do this thing for this other person, it's like, it's just not going to work. It might last for a while, but you're not going to maybe be happy. Exactly. Like, ultimately you're just not the right fit. With Allison, as open as we are with each other,

and as much as, like, we don't hold back on affection, when she's watching a project of mine, I know if she really likes it. That's something she can't hide no matter what. And when I get her to laugh, there's literally no better feeling in the world. I remember the first time she was watching the studio, and I've never seen her laugh at me like that.

And it just, like, it gives me goosebumps even saying it right now. And I was like, ooh, I got her. Gap? Yeah. Oh, that's so lovely. Okay, I had one curiosity. You are not on social media and people are astounded by that and I've heard you answer questions about that already.

I'm hoping to bring a novel question to the table on this topic, which is, because you're not in the bubble with the rest of us, do you feel like you have a unique perspective as an outsider of watching us all get infected by these memetic moments that sweep through social media. An example I'll give is like currently we're all obsessed with ADHD. Oh. And I don't think if I had Instagram, I would think about it at all. I'm not aware of that. Yeah. Okay, so you're not aware of it. But you don't observe like, are you ever somewhere and it's like,

you notice seven people at dinner are all talking about some topic where you're going like, how is everyone abreast of this weird topic? Yeah, you know what it is? It's more going off of what I just said where I'm just blissfully unaware. I don't even know. what the trends are. And because of that, I actually do feel a little on the outside sometimes where I'm like, I don't know what people are talking about. I don't know what the latest trends are. Is that affecting my own creativity of what I'm putting out there where I want it to be relevant? I wanted to hit the Zite guys. So there is fear of that, I guess, of just not being tapped into what's happening. But at the same time, it's worth it for me to not have the mental anguish of being on social media. I just know for me,

No shame to anyone else. I get the advantage of it. I get why it's so addictive. I get all the stuff. But it just scares me. I just don't want to put myself out there to a bunch of strangers who inevitably will tear me down every single day. I don't want that negativity in my life on a daily basis. I love it.

You are too sensitive for it. Maybe. And I am too sensitive for too. Yeah. I think we all are. I think that's why everyone's so messed up right now. Stay tuned for more. Or armchair expert, if you dare.

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So check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings very. subject to terms, conditions, and availability, all state North American insurance company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. For you guys, how do you monitor it to where it doesn't just make you feel bad? I've done everything I can, which is like, I will never read comments that are not on my page.

Is that true? And you really stick to that. Oh, 1,000 percent. That's great. We post our shit on YouTube, but I have no control over YouTube. I've never looked at comments on YouTube. I never will. That's very healthy.

On mine, there are some guardrails you can put, like you can make it so only people who follow you comment. Because if they're already following you, they probably like you. Definitely. And no one's going to follow you just to make a shitty comment and then unfollow you. When I change it to that, that weeded out like 99% of the negative stuff I read. I'm ruthless. Like if you say anything shitty about a guest or anything shitty about me or my family, you're just gone. You're blocked.

This is the party I'm hosting. I don't want someone like that at my party. I've figured out a way to do it where it's not because I am very sensitive to. Would you say, though, almost every day you'll still come across something that gives you a little pang. makes you feel bad? Totally. I'll tell you the even weirder thing is that I will often, instead of blocking someone, I'll restrict them, which means that they're free to comment, but it'll never be seen by anyone, and they

don't know that. You can see it and no one else can see it. Exactly. So if someone comments on my thing and I don't like it, I can restrict them. And then going forward, they're not blocked. They go to my page. It looks the same. They'll write a comment. They don't know nobody can see it. What does that do for you? Well, I'll tell you what it is for me is like, I took this from Kristen who took that approach. She gets people on there calling her, you know, a devil for vaccines. Crazy shit.

And she's like, I don't want those comments on my thing. But I want that person still exposed to how I'm living my life because I want to win them over. Oh, that's interesting. And I was like, oh, that's fascinating. Yeah, I guess I still want my message. I don't want to exclude someone from something I believe in putting out there. But anyways, this is all to say.

People have written terrible things, right? And I'm like, oh, they hate me. Why are they even following me? They hate the show. Why do they listen to it? And then I'll notice when I uncover the restricted so I can read it, it's like a really beautiful comment three days later or a week later. Really?

And I've had to acknowledge, oh, yeah, I'm also putting way too much weight on the one I saw. Like, they could have been cranky. They might not feel that way all the time. It might have felt that way for four minutes and made a comment. Like, I've written them off as an asshole. Yeah, yeah. And then I've had to recognize, oh, they're back and they've written something lovely. So that's been kind of eye-opening.

That all makes sense to me. I guess I'm curious if there's an element of it, too. because you can see it and no one else can see it, is there something where when you put something out there, you almost don't want that person to infect how other people view your thing. Yes. Right? And largely it's protective of the guests.

Because generally, most of my posts are just episodes of the show. I do not want one of our guests to go see how people like the episode and see shitty things about themselves. This makes a lot of sense to me. And that's very kind of you to protect the guests. I'm mostly policing it for our guests. That makes a lot of sense to me. Okay. What's your relationship with social media right now?

I hate. it and I'm on it and I don't see how to get off. I don't see an end in sight because also for promotion for the show and work and campaigns and all these things and it feels like I need it. But I only look at the comments, the first chunk of comments that are people not only who follow me, who I know. Are the first chunk always from people you know, do they filter those? They prioritize who you follow.

Okay. Okay, that's nice. I just look at those people. stop once I get to the first one that I don't know. Just being totally candid. Yeah. I got to imagine sometimes you get a little curious and go further. I don't.

Good for you. That's amazing. One time I got in trouble on here for something and then I got curious. Okay. Anytime you're in trouble, you'll kind of break. And that's the worst time to be doing it obviously. But I was like, oh, oh, no. Oh, my God.

They're saying this. Oh, no. So that was bad. But for the most part, I'm very, and we've had so many conversations about this because he used to look at the comments on our armchair page. And I was like, don't do it. Because did it actually affect how you were in here? We would get, sometimes it would not in here, but I think like, well, we should do this.

And it's like, well, we don't need to necessarily do that. That's one person saying this. I think it would really affect me as like, I read it and I can intellectually write that off. That's a person with a parrot on their shoulder. But three hours later, I'm driving down the 101, absent mindingly thinking. And the comment just flashes across my eyes. And I'm like, oh, it has. doesn't affect, I mean, more than I'm willing to admit.

Is there any part of it that you feel like you're missing? Like, is there anything that sometimes you go like, huh, maybe I do want? Yeah, I mean, some of these trends seem fun. I'd be curious to participate in that every once in a while. And there's an element of, especially within my people I know, on Instagram, they follow each other. They keep up on each other's lives through Instagram, seeing pictures of their kids and stuff. And so I'm definitely missing out on that.

Do you have hobbies? I've realized recently that my hobbies, sadly, are revolving around. my work a little bit. I don't even know if you'd call that a hobby, but it's like, I've gotten to the point where when I have time off, I get excited because I'm like, ooh, I have time to write now. So I don't know how healthy or unhealthy that is, but maybe it says something about how I feel very lucky that my work is something that I love to do and that even on my off time, I want to keep working. Yeah. I think that's great. And more of the reason that you don't need Instagram, because like I love off-roading and motorcycles and cars and boats. I'm seeing the coolest new boat.

Some dude did this with a motorcycle. Like, I'm just like, oh, all my hobbies, I'm kind of following accounts that are people doing my hobbies. And I love that. That's cool. The only other way it hurts me is that I've never really done like a paid campaign. That's what I was about to ask you. Because that's such a huge part of it is they need people with Instagram or with social media followers. And no one wants me.

Trust me. We've tried. No one wants me. Have you never been in a commercial? It's been a while. What was the last spot? Who? I did these two.

You know, ODMADs. Exactly. You know, Madden the video game. Oh, yeah. So I did these two back-to-back Madden commercials. They're so cool. They put so much money in it. They get like real NFL players.

It was so fun. I did one with Kevin Hart and then one with my buddy Christmas Plus. And I think the reason that maybe I was able to do the first one with Kevin Hart is because they're like, oh, Kevin can take care of the. He's got enough followers that maybe we can pair them with someone who people may be like a little bit, but like he's not going to help us on the social media front. Alison and I in the past handful of years, we've found a way and we feel very lucky that we've been able to kind of like build these projects from the ground up. When you do that, it's so much work.

It kills you every step of the way until the movie is released for years. But for those projects, these passion projects, you're making no money. It's all for the passion. And so it is amazing when Allison does do these campaigns sometimes. In one day, in four hours, she is making 100 times. the amount that we made on our passion project that we spent four years on. Yeah, but it's a give and take because that's how you have the money to do those things. Okay, now you and I share a funny distinction that not a lot of people have earned.

And I feel like it's a real two-sided coin. So you were voted like sexiest cat owner, people's sexiest cat dad. Something like that, yeah. And I similarly had a very small window in that issue as like a dog owner. Okay. They call it like, good news. you're going to be sexy. I'm like, you mean Kristen's dogs that I tolerate?

That's the only way I got into that issue. And it was for having a dog. And I felt like flattered and very disappointed. You know what? Feelings. All flattery, baby. Oh, you. You're so bad.

Come on, man. What's not to like? Here's the thing. Here's the thing. I realized a long time ago that being the guy who's obsessed with cats, especially when I was the same. single guy obsessed with cats. That was a rarity.

And I realized that when it started coming up in every interview I did. And people couldn't wrap their heads around. I was like, is this not normal for a single guy to have two 18 pound cats? Were they manicos or whatever they called? Not even. They were just big tabbies. They were just big boys. Did you grow up with cats?

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. And, you know, also at the time, having 36 cumulative pounds of cat also weeded out the dating pool. Not a lot of girls are down with that. Right. I don't love cats.

There we go. Would that be a deal breaker, though? No, not if it was you and your wisdom teeth and, you know, all of that. Plus, though, coming on pretty hard at all times. What's that? The Cats Plus coming on. Oh. It's an energy for sure.

That's a unique energy. It's like, this guy is interesting. I know, I know. No, but it actually makes sense because aren't cats so? also withholding. And so you're kind of trying to get their affection. This is, we're diving deep. We're getting deep, guys.

I'm starting to sweat. God, this is so fascinating. Yeah. Because, like, they are very sweet, cuddly cats, and they adore us. But, like, they're not giving it to us all the time. We got to earn it. Sexiest cat dad, baby. Yeah.

So when I hear about this, I'm like, you know what? I feel like I've been silently campaigning for this my whole life. And if anything, I'm like trying to use this platform to be like, here's what I want to change is there's a stigma against cats in popular culture where every movie, every animated thing, cats are the villains.

And I'm like, no, you look at the movie, Flo. Did you guys see Flo? No. You guys aren't cat people. I was shaking my head, yes, but I was thinking of hustle and flow. Oh my God.

Just flow. No, no, no. Flow is a movie, foreign film that came out maybe a year or two ago. And the cat is finally. the hero, and guess what? It won the fucking Academy Award. Let's change the narrative, baby.

That's why we haven't given them a shot. They're just like, they're going to sweep everything. That's true. You love your foreign films. Where are you viewing all these foreign films? That was a big movie, though, wasn't it? It was. Yeah, best, best animated movie.

But he's also seen every single foreign film. I see everything. I guess that's part of not having kids is we have time to watch everything. And, like, the reason why we're doing all this is because we love movies. And I know that's like an obvious thing to say. But like yesterday, we watched four movies. And like Sunday, we really kind of cherish our Sundays where we're like, lazy Sunday. It's just us.

We mostly don't leave the house. Back to back to back, movies just in bed with the castle. Okay. Was it, now you see me three? The newest one. Where you and Woody, which by the way just had the honor of working with recently. Oh, you did. How recently?

February, I think January or February. Okay, very recently. Isn't Woody a trip? I love him. We interviewed. He interviewed him. He interviewed me for he and Ted show. Then we interviewed him. Yeah, he was so fun. And then some emailing. Talk about someone I like. One of a kind. Unique. He's living life better and harder than anyone I've ever met. He's literally floating. Nothing bad can happen to

Woody. Yet also always has an injury. So he's paying a small price. Literally every time. When we interviewed him, he had just crashed a motorcycle. Yeah. When I worked with him and said he like limped in, couldn't put a shoe on because he fucked up three of his toes. I'm picturing him showing up on set, just dashed in the middle of his forehead. That happened? Yeah. He's doing both. Okay.

He's got receipts. When you live that hard, something's going to come back. Yeah. But he has the best sense of humor about all the injured. He could care less. The most fun guy in the world. I heard you tell a story when you did Ike show. Oh, yeah, yeah.

About partying with him. Was that on three? Were you guys like in Manila? Oh, we were in Macau and Hong Kong. So we were filming in Macau, which is like the Vegas of China. And we had the weekend off. And so a few of us, we were like, let's go to Hong Kong. Just have a nice little adventure in Hong Kong.

Wherever we go, Woody has some sort of hookup. And so he had this white guy in Hong Kong named Jazz. Oh, my God. And so that's true we wish. Not jazz, the hair guy, jazz. No, by the end of the night, we were all just like, you got a little jazz on your face. So, Jez is leading us like, we're not getting the authentic Hong Kong experience. We're going to, like, these restaurants where it's like, also a club.

And so anyway, cuts to the end of the night. We go to Woody's hotel room and he's on like the 50th floor. And of course he's in the one room where you can actually open the window. Because Woody like has this whole thing about fumes and just clean living. He needs some fresh air in there, right? Again, the paradox that is Woody, which is like he's injured but he's floating above everything. He's so healthy, but he is not healthy. Exactly. Exactly. I love it.

So we're in Woody's room. It's 4 a.m. We've been parting with jazz for fucking hours. So at one point, it's 4 a.m. We're all fucked up. We look over. Woody in his socks is now standing on the open window sill, cackling. Thinks this the funniest thing in the world.

We're looking over and we're like, Woody, this isn't funny, dude. And we're about to fucking watch Woody Harrelson fall 50 floors and we're going to be fucking like, it's going to be on us. Exactly. Exactly. This is not a time to be a generous. Spoiler, he doesn't die. But like, it's just like, this is him. He thinks it's the funniest thing in the world when he's an inch away from fucking death.

He also might have survived that fall. Oh, he probably would of that little fucker. Oh, that's so scary. I know. Well, you got to keep in mind, too. We've been partying all night too. And so we're not thinking straight. We don't know what to do.

It's just this like, oh, God, the worst thing that could possibly happen. We just blew past the fact that he does have a man in Hong Kong. Which is nuts. But he's just world traveler. He's just one of those guys. Wherever he goes, he's just pied pipe or everyone's following him. Everyone wants to be friends with Woody. That could be a fun reality show where Woody doesn't know where he's going.

Yes. We take him to a country and then he has an hour to get the fixer. And it's like a test to see will he have a guy in Norobi that he knows. And just to see how big of a crowd he assembles within a short amount of time. Just like, okay, Woody, how many people can you get in this city? Such a fine line. You could have definitely for the rest of your life. And interviews like this and it's like, so what happens?

That's my legacy for the rest of my life. Exactly. You're connected with that moment. I had a moment recently. Oh, God. We were in Venice, Italy, and we were at the Guggenheim Museum. Beautiful museum. Very small, very curated.

And I'm in this room. Most of the artist paintings on the wall or whatnot. In the middle of the room, there's this table and these little tiny figurines on the table. And I'm talking to my friend and I'm backing up. And I bump into the table. And it literally rocks a little bit. And in the moment we're like, we're okay. That's fine.

Not a big deal. We looked up those figurines like $80 million. And priceless. That's my legacy for the rest of my life. No, no, no. And when I found that out, heart palpitations. I was like, oh, my God. I was that close to my entire life.

changing forever. That's on the Guggenheim, though. They need like a rope. It is. We were also joking around a little bit. We were having a good time with the Guggenheim. Right. But yeah. Energy would be good. A room would be smart. You travel quite a bit for work. Yeah. Have you mastered like A, does Allison come again? You don't have kids, which is incredible. Do you guys go with each other when you are shooting and then B, have you figured out how to be living your life while you're there as opposed to like just hitting paws and then working? Have you made an art out of filming in Venice and actually taking a day and going to do the things. What I love to do when I go to a new city for a while is I'll find all the best food spots.

And part of that is I have the greatest friend in the world. He is someone I've known since I was 10 years old and he happened to be one of the creators of chef's table. And so it's literally his job to travel the world and try the best food. And so no matter what city I'm in, he's got me a list. And so I start with his list. And then when I go to a place that I really love, I'll ask the people who work there. like, what are your local spots? Where do you love? And I just compile this list. And I feel like

it's a really good way to get to know a city just by eating the food and talking to people at these restaurants. And so I really try to like, hey, this is an opportunity to get to know a new place for three months. And in terms of Allison coming with me, we're pretty good at it. I mean, we've been very, very lucky that we've both been pretty busy for a bit. And so it's hard to have one of us go with the other for a long period of time. But we'll definitely make trips out of it. And we'll find out the week I have off and have her come out and really explore the city together. We've been pretty good at finding ways to make being a part bearable. Part of that, and I've talked about this before, and this is going to be the cheesiest thing I say

this entire podcast, but stay with me. Basically, when we're apart from each other, and this has been since day one, instead of going to sleep and writing like, you know, good night, love you text, we essentially write a love letter to each other every night. On paper or via text? Text. It can be a few things. It's usually just a stream of consciousness, things that happened that day that made you think of something in the past, an old photo that you came across. You can get really creative, write a poem. You can do whatever. And what it does is it really makes you kind of sit there and think about the other person in a real way, no matter how tired you are. Let's say I'm in New York. She's in L.A. So I go to bed first. So she gets my text before she goes to bed and I wake up in New York and I start my day with hers. And so to end and start the day where you're really focused on each other, I swear to God, it's part of the

the reason why we're still together. That's incredible. Yeah, but it takes work. You've got to sit there no matter how tired you are. Yeah. And sometimes you're apart for four months. What is that? 120 texts. Have you ever woken up to a stinker? You know, like, she didn't put the time in. I mean, some of you're retreading certain territory. And you're like, I've heard that one before. But that's part of the fun, too, is finding, like, new ways to tell her how much you love her. It's almost a writing exercise. Totally. Fourteen years. I know. 14 years. Yeah. That's a big number. I know. It's not like you're two years in, you're in your honeymoon phase. You're not. But I think that work is what makes it feel that way. What's cool too, and again, very cheesy, very cliche, but like, it's getting

better. And that's when you know you found the right person. You just settle into this thing that's so fun. And we just laugh together. It's just a good time. I thought of another fun trip story of a recent one. Yeah. Okay, so my publicist reached out at the end of last year. and she goes, hey, I receive something. I don't know if it's real, but let me know if you want me to look into it. And it was an invite for me and Allison to go meet the Pope at the Vatican. And I go, yeah, look into it. So she starts doing some digging.

And it's like this very mysterious thing. Like she can't really get any details. But she gets to a point where she's like, okay, this seems very real. And so my next question was, why did they invite us? Right. And so she goes, you know, it's this thing celebrating cinema. And I was like, okay, why did they invite us? And so anyway, we're like, we're going to go.

Like, what an honor once in a lifetime thing. So we fly ourselves out to Rome. Well, good. You just answered a question for me. Because Cedaras has a great short story about him being invited, David Cideras. Oh, oh. Being invited with all these comedians to meet the Pope. Okay, yes.

It's an incredible short story. Okay. But I wanted the whole time I was reading it. When they invite you, do they fly you? They don't. We didn't get flound. Those bitches are rich, though. The Catholic Church.

They're not the government. I'm happy to pay. I'll come home. Okay, okay. We get an address where they drop us off on this kind of street corner outside of the Vatican. And we get there and there's maybe a hundred other people and seemingly mostly Italian. But then some people who it makes a lot more sense than being there, like Cape Lanchett and Vigel Morton Singh. Greta Gerwig.

Exactly. Totally. And like, again, we're just looking at each other. We're like, just keep your head down. Just don't ask any questions. So they bring us through this back, beautiful entrance of Vatican City. And we eventually get to this gorgeous room. All these seats lined up.

Everyone takes the seat. Pope comes out. We all stand, standing ovation. And he gives this beautiful 20-minute speech, basically about the importance of movies. And I find out after the fact, like, how important this was because I was talking to some of the Italians who were there. And they were telling me, I guess pretty recently there was conversations of getting rid of all movie theaters in Italy.

And so to have the Pope speaking out about like the importance of cinema, it's a huge deal. So then everyone lines up to meet him. You know, you get like 10 seconds with the Pope. And so we knew this was coming. So going into it, we were like, what do you say to the Pope? We kind of Googled fun facts about Pope Leo to see if there was any common ground. And I found one. And it's that he's also the youngest of three brothers.

And I was like, what an in. Yes. Okay. So we're in line and we're looking ahead and we're seeing him interacting with other people. And like, you know, he's being very warm, very gracious, clearly listening intently, giving people their moments. Forgive my ignorance. He's American, right? He's from Chicago.

Right. And he's the first American Pope. As far as I know. I'm pretty sure. It's very warm interactions, but he's got a pretty straight face. You know, he's not emoting too much. And so we get up there. Allison's before me.

And she says something along the lines of like, you know, thank you for inviting us. like what a beautiful speech and so on. So you should have grabbed his shoulder and said you're in great shit. She won't lie. She will not lie. So she goes to the side and now it's my turn and I'd say to him, hey, I am also the youngest of three brothers and I just wanted to say thank you for everything you've been doing for younger brothers everywhere.

That's so cute. And Allison looks back and the Pope is smiling. And she's like, you motherfucker. And I realized in that moment, the Pope is her. heard everything. He hasn't heard that. Yeah. And we have this beautiful photo of me shaking his hand and he's smiling.

It is so wonderful. I want to see that. Is that online? I can. You'll show you right now. I got it, Andy. Let's see. Okay, here we go.

All right. So, God, you're quick with a phone. I'm shocked you're not on social media. You want to give me 12 minutes to find a photo. So here's Allison. Pretty straight face, the Pope, right? Yeah, yeah. And then look at that little smile.

Oh. Oh, yeah. Dimbles are out, baby. Got the dimples out. Oh, my God, that's so cute. I feel like he's not even allowed to do that. Oh, interesting. You know, he's like, he broke the law. Bro.

He did. He had to bring that up in confession. He smiled at a joke. Oh, my God. What if he reimbursed you for your flight? Just you. Okay, the last time you were here, I just find this interesting. You were here to promote the rental.

which you had directed. Yeah. It was number one at the box office. Right. At 400 grand, which already might be a record for number one. Isn't that insane? So we came out the very beginning of the pandemic.

No other movies were coming out. And the distributor that we were with was like, let's come out. There's power to coming out now because there's no competition. For I think the second time ever in the history of film, we were number one at the box office and on VOD at the same time.

Wow. Only happened twice. And again, there's a little bit of an asterix to it. No. No. No. Take it. Yeah, we just take it.

It's like sexiest cat dad. Whatever. We're going to take it. That's right. That's right. We'll take when we can get. And we just must publicly fillate you over the studio. Oh, appreciate that.

What a ride you took us on. Oh, man. You're so good in it. That was so fun. So when you're doing press for a TV show, you know, they typically will send you all the episodes ahead of time so you can watch it and be knowledgeable about it when you're talking about impressed, right? So I remember, I think I appear in like the third or fourth episode. So I remember being at home and watching the first couple episodes. And I just start sweating. And I'm like,

uh-oh, I think this is my new favorite show. And I'm about to pop in and ruin this fucking thing. And like, luckily, I was just so protected by those guys that I think I came off okay. But it's just another example of a situation where you're surrounded by these people that I've known them for 20 years. And because of that, I am so comfortable. In my scenes in this show, I'm technically playing Dave Franco, but it's me, a version of myself, inebriated on alcohol, weed, cocaine, and mushrooms, right? And so it's like the most extreme manic version of me. And it's weird to say this, but it was a difficult part to play.

Yeah, that is. The nature of the show, as you guys know, every scene throughout the entire season is a oneer, right? No cutting, just these long, continuous takes. And so they've said they typically do like 15 to 20 takes per scene. And sometimes those scenes are six minutes straight. So for me, I'm coming in. I'm on this cocktail of drugs. My energy is at 1,000.

And I'm doing these six minute takes of that. And so in between, they call cut. I'm in the corner literally bent over huffing for air. And they're just waiting for me. And they're like, Dave, you're good for another? I'm just like 30 seconds. Let's go. Let's go.

Was it talked about getting you some oxygen in between? It wasn't talked about it. I need another producer on the set. I'm sure they would have accommodated if I needed it. But also there's a scene, I don't know if you guys remember the scene where I'm supposed to go out on stage and like present. You've gotten your ass kicked by three dudes you ripped off from doing magic. Yes. So there's this five minute take where it starts with me coming in, bloodied up.

I've just got my ass kicked. I'm still on all these drugs. You're in a great mood. Great mood. You're like Woody Harold's up. Yeah. channeling their Woody. Channeling Woody.

Totally. And then so I'm just full manic. And then on a dime, they want me to like bring it in, go like, drop in. Super suave, come out onto stage and do this monologue in front of a couple hundred extras who are there in a New York accent. And then shift again, walk off stage, lose all my faculties, pass out, and beg to go to the hospital.

Well, celebrate. Then lose all you. There we got. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it was this thing where, like, if they hadn't. written that for me to do, I don't think I would have had the confidence to even try it. But because those guys like know me, it was like, oh, if you guys think I can do this, let's fucking go.

Yeah. You're like fucking A for alphabet. Exactly. Jimmy D. Philippi. Yeah. You crushed it. Yeah. Oh, my God.

You were so good in it. Just so rewarding. And there's moments from that episode where I'll be at the airport now and the TSA guy will look at me and go, 21 grams of shrooms. And I'm like, I don't think you should be doing that. Everyone runs over and tackled you. That's a line that will follow me forever. You know what?

I just feel so grateful to be even a small part of that project. Yeah, so we had Seth on before it came out, and I got the season as well. Yeah. And I got to the episode called The Oneer. I think it's number three, maybe. I just was in awe. When we talked to him, he was saying, you know, unlike other projects of theirs were improvs hugely encouraged.

The stakes are so high. He gave a story of Krumholz. He's like the last button on a fucking 12-minute take. Because you improv, that's what I want to get to. A little bit. And you do it during the first handful of takes. Because what I like about doing 15 to 20 takes is you can try everything. And so by the time everything's honed in by that 15th take, you feel like, oh, I know the best version of the scene.

And so in those early takes, I remember there's a small moment, but scripted, I'm supposed to say, oh, I'm going to go win some money at the tables. And so on the very first take, I was like, hey, I'm going to go win some money at the tables. Now you see me style. And no one said anything. So I was like, all right, I'm just going to keep doing that. And what happened was they ended up incorporating, now you see me two more time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's what they do is they're writing up until the second you're filming so they can use stuff that comes on the fly and they can just keep incorporating and building off of it.

Yes. Oh, geniuses. Stay tuned for more armchair expert if you dare. So let's talk about idiots. Yeah. So the premise is it's these two guys, me and O'Shea Jackson Jr., we're down on our luck and we pair up to drive this wealthy teen to rehab. And what we don't realize is this kid is a full-on psychopath. And he's just, you know, making our life hell every step of the way.

And so it's essentially like a fucking balls out comedic version of the last detail, if you've ever seen that. With Nicholson. Exactly. I read this script like 10 years ago. And it's by this writer-director named Macon Blair. If you haven't seen his first movie, it's called I Don't Feel at Home in This World anymore. It's on Netflix. It's fucking awesome.

Check it out. I saw that movie about 10 years ago. I've been hounding him ever since. He's also an actor. Exactly, exactly. So anyway, I read this script 10 years ago, and at the time, I was too young to play this part. And so we were like, all right, it's not meant to be on this one. And then like, a year and a half ago, I just reached out to him.

I was like, whatever happened with that script? And he's like, oh, it almost went and then fell apart. And I was like, if I can be helpful in any way, I'd love to help just push this thing and get it off the ground. And he said, you know what? Fuck it. Let's step one. Step one was going out getting some more cast. I'd worked with O'Shea before.

I was like, this is our man. I just worked with this kid Mason Thames. Do you guys know Mason? He's like the main kid in the How to Train Your Drag in Live Action. So I was like, okay, these are our people. And this is just like speaks to how I'm loving, making things right now, where I'm just bringing in the people I know and love and I know we're going to kill it together. And yeah, it's a grind.

We don't have a ton of money. but every day we're just coming in and making each other laugh and having a blast on it. Yeah, but it's violent. Oh, yeah. So Makin, he's got these sensibilities where he goes hard on the comedy. He will give you a belly laugh and then immediately give you the most dark, violent moment in the movie. And so you're on edge, the whole movie. As soon as you feel comfortable, he's going to pull the rug out.

And for me, it's my favorite thing. You know, you're watching a movie. You're halfway through and you're like, I don't fucking know where this is going, how it's going to end. It's like an impossible thing to pull off these days. Audiences are smart. They usually know from the first five minutes how the movie's going to end.

Well, I am they're encouraging people to make them even dumber so you can be on a dual screen. So it's like, yeah, it's getting even... Exactly. Yeah. But it's got a great cast. It's the three of us.

It's Peter Dinklage, Nicholas Braun, Kiernan and Shipka, and everyone just fucking brings it. It's these larger-than-life characters. Moni, wait till you see Nicholas Braun's characters. He plays a rapper named Pricka Bush De Werewolf. Oh, my God.

He's got gold grill. Tattues all over his face. He's got like what can only be described as little baby ponytails all over his head. And his character is like voice and his character are fucking incredible. It's unrecognizable. It's amazing. And what about Dinklage? What a hero.

If my wife was going to leave me for anybody. If we're all leaving our partner for anyone, it's Peter Dinklage. I've never met a dude that was so universally attractive. Appealing. Yeah. Just everything in every way. It was the first thing. time in a while where the first day meeting him, I was a little starstruck.

Yeah. I was just like, okay, I want to be, I want to make sure he likes me. And the cool thing about him is that he is so unassuming and disarming. Immediately he's making jokes and immediately putting a you at ease. He's not reminding everyone he's better than them at acting at all times. But then he comes in and he can't miss. Straight in the can. Yeah.

That mix of violence in comedy is for me my very favorite. There's something when you introduce that danger early. on. It makes it so that you set the stakes where anything can happen, anyone can die. Yeah. And it's just so unpredictable and fun. What had you worked with O'Shea on prior? Do you remember Quibi? Oh, sure, sure. Took down a lot of folks. We did a show for them. And I think the reason we did it was for us to meet each other. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Now, if I got to work with O'Shea, I would be thinking, okay, how long do we have to be friends before I started asking questions about Ice Cube.

You know it's his son. Didn't know. He played him in the straight-up content. Oh, yes. And he looked so much like him. What's crazy is O'Shea was guest hosting a podcast like two weeks ago and he had me on. And the first question he brings up was, you know, how is it kind of navigating this industry with a family member who was also in it?

We realized in that moment we had never talked about it before. Yeah. And maybe it's because we both have been in that situation where. where subconsciously. It's not that we don't necessarily want to talk about it. You've talked about it. Yes, we talked about it. But also when you're meeting people, I want to be me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I think both of us just had that internal thing where we're like, I'm not going to bring it up. And that's okay. A mutual kindness. Totally. Well, it is funny because I've had many friends be on this show. And in a weird way, I've been like, oh, this is fun. I get to kind of ask them something.

I would never ask them. Exactly. I remember interviewing my brother a lot. long time ago, but I came in with all these questions and I was like, whoa, we've never talked about any of this and you get kind of vulnerable and it's kind of nice and you learn about each other. Yeah. Yeah. The craziest one was interviewing my mom. And we have a crazy open relationship. I was encouraged to ask any question I would ever want to. Was there one or two that stood out of like, wow, that was really fun to get into? Yeah. The one that I never had thought to ask her is my first stepdad was

super abusive. And my mom's a badass. My mom raised three kids on her own, built this incredible business. She's a fucking tough gangster. By the way, it wasn't pre-planned. It was just my instincts of having interviewed a bunch of people. It was just like, I just heard the story. And then my natural question would be like, wow, how does someone like you that is so tough end up in that situation? Like it's just so not in keeping with the rest of your toughness. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I hear you. And she was like, the shame of having failed at this a second time was more painful than getting beat up. And I was like, oh, fuck. You want to quantify shame? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That you'd rather get your ass kicked. Ooh, that's heavy. Than experience shame.

Yeah. It's just, it's like so deep about shame. It's weird thinking about just asking these people that you know so intimately, like these kind of earnest questions. Again, with my brother, these earnest questions about his process. And like, if I ask that in real life, you'd be like, dude. Yeah. Yeah. And he's your brothers, you don't give a fuck.

Like, my brother can cure cancer. I don't think I'd ask him how he did it. Totally. I mean, I guess David. I don't know how the fuck he did it. I guess he did it. I know. But I have been trying to do that a little bit more in my real life where like my mom was in town last week.

And we were just kind of walking around the neighborhood. And suddenly we started talking about drugs. Uh-huh. And she was like, if you ever done cocaine? And we started getting into that and talking about the drug she did when she was younger. And it was cool. We had never talked about that ever. Did she go hard?

She didn't go hard, but she was at Stanford in the 60s. Totally. But she had a face. Hey, Ashbury's just a stone's throw away. Playground, baby. It is so fun because your family, they're an extension of you. Like you grow up with them as an extension of you. And then when you're in these positions and you get to ask, it's like, oh, no, they're really the wrong person. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

Yeah, when you've got to confront that they exist independently of you and other people are interested. That's a good point. With or without you, they're there. Do you still think that, though, about being connected to him? because I actually, it's funny, when we were just bringing this up, I was like, oh, yeah, I forgot that. Like, at this point in your career and your life, I feel like you're so your own person. Yeah, and I've felt that a lot more in recent years for sure. It's a complicated thing where I love my brother and I'm so grateful for the advice he gave me

coming through this business and just even watching how we navigated certain situations. And I'm always grateful for that. But I think in recent years, I've kind of gone down my path long enough. that people have started to give me my own do. You've almost done the impossible by shedding that connection. I think that's very hard to do, actually. Yeah, especially because he's a very fucking talented. Exactly.

This isn't someone who just dipped a toe in. Exactly. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah. This is like Frank Stallone and Sylvester. And then you rose up to be co-Sylester. Exactly. Yeah.

But it's a big shadow. It is. Totally. Yeah, congrats to you. Worked my ass off. Yeah. I'm trying to think of my, I, um, we did a sexy as a cat. You go back to that

Oh, my last I have a question Did your kids see the movie Hoppers The Pixar movie? How old are they? 11 and 13 Okay, what was their reaction? Well, I'll tell you the very funny moment.

So we were all supposed to watch TV last night I'm like, I'm so sorry guys, I got to do research. So then I'm in bed reading about you. They file in separately one by one. And the 11-year-old sits down and she's like looking at you and then I don't know what page in my mind. but somehow she goes, oh, was he in Hopper?

Wow. She leaves, my 13-year-old comes in. She's staring at you and she goes, oh, yeah, yeah, I know him. What did I see him in? And I go, now you see me? She's like, oh, yes. She's watched all three. I'm surprised that she could place me from Hoppers because obviously that's just my voice.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like most of my friends don't even know I'm in hoppers. Right. But what was fun about that movie is so I play the villain. and this is a kids movie. But like we were going for it to the point where I was like, guys, is this too far? Like, are we going to be scaring the kids? I can't tell you how many texts I've received from parent friends of mine, basically saying some

version of, thank you for giving my children nightmares for their fucking lives. I have one friend who I grew up with. She has a three-year-old. And she was like, it's crazy to say that you are the scariest thing that has happened to my daughter in her lifetime. Oh, no. Oh, no. You are the boogeyman.

Yes. This character is so scary. And, like, even during the process of making the movie, and this wasn't on me, this is on the animators, they realized they went one step too far when they animated my character doing the backwards walk from the Exorcist. Oh, wow. They're like, oh, this is literally scaring the adults now. Like, a reference to the Exorcist in a Pixar movie is one step too far.

At the premiere. Oh, gosh. My character comes on. 30 seconds later, this mom is carrying out this screaming child. And Allison turns to me, she goes, you did that. But here's the thing. I take these reviews of, like, my friend telling me, oh, you're the scariest part of my daughter's life so far. What a great review.

Oh, that's a lot of your life, baby. Before you ask this next question, Monica, hold my hand real quick. Oh. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Get over here so we can interlock. Oh, my God. Yeah. Yeah.

Get over here. He knows. He's in a break of them being sweaty. Here we know. He's like right now. Here we go. Oh, my God. Interlocking.

Interlocking. That's nice, isn't that? Oh, my. Immediately. Immediately. Immediately. Immediately. Okay.

Do you mind if I take my pants off? Yeah. Dax, you're getting over here and you're feeling me up in a minute. Okay. How much? Okay. That was good. That was good.

That was good. I'm proud of you. I'm proud of you. I'm proud of. And about the same duration of a butt fuck. Honestly, I forgot we were doing it already. I would have done that as long as you would have given me. It seemed like, tell me about your journey there real quick.

I was ready to be done? Sure, but it seemed like it was nice at first. Listen, the sensation is nice. I also trust you and like you. But that felt very intimate. Interesting. Like you'd be like you need to apologize to Allison? A little.

You don't. You don't. Allison felt that. I don't know about the fun fun fun. We took the other. We took the other option. Yeah. Oh, wow.

That was weirdly my very last question, which is Allison's and Masters of the Universe. Oh, yeah. Did she have to get, like, extra ripped? She's already in phenomenal shape. She was already there. It was maybe like 5% more, but she loves an excuse to get extra ripped, man. Yeah, was she, like, lifting heavier or anything? Oh, yeah.

She's in there not only doing 10 pull-ups. She's doing that with weight fucking attached to her legs. I need to feel her lat. I know. Get in here and feel my lap real thing. Let me give a little taste. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Get over, get over.

Oh, fog. It's like holding on to the back of a back. Oh, shit. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. Dude. Get the bicep real quick.

Get the bicep. Hard as hell and cut. Cut. Oh, wow. Oh, my God. If I'm doing all this work, I know you're going to appreciate this more than anyone. He really is. Absolutely.

He's going to be thinking about that for days. And then also do we just want to say two seconds about Forgotten Island? Oh, yeah. So Forgotten Islands. Another animated thing, DreamWorks, beautiful movie. It's coming out late September. 25th. Yes, September 25th.

So first off, this is the first kind of big studio film that is ever focused on Filipino culture. Oh. And so it's basically a bunch of Filipinos in me. Oh, wow. It's a really cool concept. It's these two girls who have been friends forever since childhood, and we are seeing them on their final night together before one of them's going to the states to go to college. And so it's this kind of sad type thing.

One of them's leaving. And during that night, this portal opens in the sand, and it kind of sucks them into this kind of mythological island that they've always heard about. And basically, they find out that the only way off the island is to give up their memories. But if they give up their memories, they might forget each other. And it's like the most touching. Oh, my God. Eternal Sunshine animated style. Exactly.

Why are these kids' movies so intense? It's so beautiful. You will cry. If you don't cry, you are not human. If you don't cry, turn yourself in a immediately after police so you're removed from us, so we're all safe. Oh, that's so sad and sweet. Okay, great. So Forgotten Island, September 25th.

But more immediately, idiots. August 28th. Yeah. Everyone check out idiots. Dave, this was so, it was fun on Zoom, but I wasn't getting the full magnetism. That is you. I love being here. This is so hot, though.

It gets a little toasty. here. Yes. I know. What are we going to do? Everyone's sweating in here. All right. I adore you.

Say hi to Allison. I hope I bump into her hiking again soon. That was so fun. Stay tuned for the fact check so you can hear all the facts that were wrong. Look, we got presents. Yeah.

Do you want some socks? Yeah. Remember Porous? Oh, I love Porous Walker. One of my favorite. We love porous. Yeah, and he sent me some items, and he said, thanks for being a nice person. That's nice.

That's not a compliment I get very often, a nice person, so I really liked it. What did he give you? So this is called no bra, like cobra. Oh. Or no bra. Oh, is it? You see. I see.

Oh, I see. Yeah, it's a ceramic. Okay, wow. It's a big king cobra with big. Breasts. Yeah, large breasts and nipples are out. Sure, sure, the whole gang. So I thought there's no reason we can't have this in the mix.

There is no reason. And also there is no room. No, we'll find space. You want to run around the coffee table or in the middle? Yeah, Poros Walker is a great artist and he makes... Perverted art. Yeah, and we have some shirts of his. We have a lot of his items.

And now there's... What's on the socks? Well, these appear to be, let's see, a lot of breasts. Oh, I think those are classic. These are classic. Those are classic for it. Uh-huh. I haven't seen those pink ones.

Let's see what the pinkies are. Oh, those are just, those are pubes. And this is penis socks. That's just one big penis, yeah. Yes, uh-huh. And then what's the orange? The orange is, oh, wow. Oh, balls.

No, no, no. Oh, boobs again? They also look like balls with nipples. Okay. Well, humans like circles. Remember? Everything circles. Okay. Well, that was a fun treat. We can offer, if anyone's feet are cold on the show, we can offer them to indoors something perverse. Oh, wow. Wow. Wow. Now, I can't rely on you to notice because I know you're not very observant. Is it your hair? Well, I just washed my hair one second ago, so it's wet.

Okay, that's where it is. So you're seeing that. Do you see all my blasts? Do do, do. And then look at my neck. Oh, God. You did your face? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I really went. You can't tell on your neck.

Yeah, you can. Really? Oh, my God. What have you done? What have you done? I really scheduled some time this time. I'm like, you know what? I'm going to take 40 minutes and go over everything with a fine tooth comb.

And I did. And this is a zap here, a zap there, zap there. But I will say, not keeping track of while I'm doing it. But later that night, I did look in the mirror before going to bed. And I was like, this is the most dax thing I've ever done to myself. Yeah. He's got to be Apex dax right here. I hate seeing myself on third person. That feels gross. But also it's, it's so what else would you say, right? Yeah. You daxed yourself. So Kristen looked at it and she was like, you got to minimally admit a.

dermatologist would never do that to you. And I said, yes, which is my point precisely. A dermatologist doesn't have an extra 45 minutes to go through every square inch of your face and neck to find raised hypoplasias, hyperplasia. Maybe your body's supposed to have hyperplasia. If you have so much of it, well, no. Then maybe your body wants it. I know where this story, where it ends because my father had the identical skin to me and he just accumulated all these skin tags and i'm not going to do that i'm not i'm not i choose instead you're going to have black dots all over your body oh no this will be often a day in fact we're not i didn't think we were recording until tomorrow so i even said last night yesterday i was looking the mirror and is like okay they're still

bad but i got a hunch wednesday you wouldn't know but here we are we'll see we're recording We're a day early. We'll see. I mean, I don't see it on your face, but I don't have good eyes, as you know. So I also can't see from here it on your neck. But you see this up here. I did a triple up there. But I don't.

Is it black up there? Scab. You can't see the scab right there? Well, that's how good my work is. It's already faded. It just shows how bad my eyes and they really are so bad. Yeah. They've gotten bad.

They've gotten worse? I never know of like your eyes just suck. Do they just stay shitty? or they too degenerate the way mine are. I don't know. But I started with good. There's no way for me to know. Okay.

I did bond with some folks at Smiley Thai, the Thai restaurant in Mount Julia. Uh-huh. I saw this couple, probably my age. And they were both fucking firehose in the menu with bright light, right? They both had their phones out. And I just had to stop and say, this is so comforting because I, too, have to blast my menu with light. Yeah, it's a real marker. The trickiest part for me is when I'm signing the receipt because I cannot read.

There's no way I can read. My dad has this. Yeah. And then I got to ask the server. Oh. Everyone's generally already bounced and I've waited. You know, I'm sticking around to pay. I see.

And then I have to ask the server, but what's tricky about that? Oh, this is so tricky. I have already tipped. Uh-huh. And I'm going to add it up. And that's when I realize, oh, I can't read this. And everyone's gone. Okay.

And so I often have to ask the server, but then I think it's like I've put them in a position where I'm forcing them to see how much. Yes. Oh, no. Yeah. So I'm learning. So now I'm smart enough to ask them what the total is before. None of it's comfortable. They also don't want to have to tell you the total, you know, because then is it what am I like complaining about?

How much is this? Anyways, I sure do look forward to science fixing this. Yeah. I'm optimistic. In my mind, this is not, I'm not going to be dealing with this forever. But you have glasses. You just don't believe. I do have glasses. And I don't. I understand. I'm not throwing stones. I have glasses as well. How was your Labor Day? My Labor Day was lovely. I threw a party at my house.

How did that go? Who came? What were the festivities? A lot of people came. It was an in and out. Like people stopped by, some people stayed. People bought. Okay, I, I, I'm going to sound so, people are not going to like this, but whatever. I catered from Arawan. Okay. So I told people to come over after 1.30.

All right. Any time, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then any time is tricky because I'm like when people there aren't, if they're not, they're right at 1.30, it's like, oh, no one's coming. Oh, you start getting panicked. Yeah. Yes, of course. You get panicked.

This is like hosting so stressful. Uh-huh. So I catered Arawan. And are you afraid, like, you're just imagining that person that arrives at 2.30 and they enter and it's just you in there? Yeah, of course. Yeah. Well, I knew that wasn't going to be the case. That moment is rough.

Because just. Hey. Oh, are you, did you cancel? No. People are coming later. Maybe. I don't even know anymore. I don't know why I did this. You don't have to stay.

Should just go. Go ahead and go. Take some food on your way out. Take all this food. I don't know why I bought it. Yeah. So, so, but I knew I'd at least have one person there because Jess. Uh, sure.

I asked him to come early to help set up. I bought a bunch of yard games. Okay, so I don't have a pool. Right, right. Which is fine. But it's tricky when you have a party because you do wish, like for the, it's mainly for the kids because adults are doing whatever. Sure.

Playing games, shatting. Smoking a doobos in the corner. They want. But kids, that's a little tricky. A pool is nice. Yeah, a distraction. Yeah, and if you remember, last time I did this was Fourth of July, and so I bought this enormous, I rented, sorry, an enormous inflatable slide pool thing

to keep these children occupied, which it did do. So I was like, maybe I'll do that again. But I was like, am I the girl that just always has that slide thing? So then I ended up just going yard games. Okay. Okay. Okay. I bought two cornhole. Okay, great. So two cornhole can be going. Yes, great. Hors shoes. Uh-huh. Um, ladder ball. Not.

You don't know ladder ball? Oh, you throw the string with the two. Yes. Yeah. It's very fun. That's it. And then people, and a kickball. I bought a kickball.

What were your plans for the kickball? Just any, I don't know. Yeah. No, they'll kick it. My yard is huge. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like people could have played a full, I actually think I think.

Also, it's huge for L. Let's just, let's, oh, yeah. It's small. Yeah, it's like probably 9,000 square feet of yard back there. But since there's nothing in the back. backyard right now. It's all grass. Yeah, it's lovely and it's great for L.A. I just wanted to put in parentheses to America. It's not what you're thinking of when you think of huge yard. It's a huge LA yard. Yeah, but all to say, you could get a kickball game going in there. And you would have to

run. Okay. If you use the whole yard, you know? Okay. But I hate kickball. I would never play. But anyway, oh my God, I used to go camping with Callie's family and they would always kick ball was always on the menu. Okay. You know? On the docket? Yeah. And I just hated that part.

You hated it. Yeah. I really like kickball. I feel like it's a good game because resist saying this. Everyone can play it. No. No? I think it's hard for short people to play kickball.

Okay. Tell me more. Because, you know, they throw it in it, sometimes it's up high. Like, for kicking. Are you confusing it with dodge ball? No, I hate dodgeball too. No. But, you know, like,

Do they throw it? They have to roll it. They, oh, but sometimes they don't roll it. Sometimes it bounces. Well, if it's bouncing across the plate, then that's a ball. That doesn't count as a strike. Well, I don't, I just always try to kick it. As you should, yeah.

And then I miss it with my foot. And it's too embarrassing. It's very embarrassing. Yeah. Okay, well, I bought that for other people, you know. Do you buy bases and stuff? I'm a little, I don't know that you have enough room for a kickball game. I don't think our yard has enough room for a kickball.

Of course it does. I don't think so. Okay. Okay. Anyways, let's not get hung up on kickball. So anyway, I had all those things. So I had asked Jess to come early to set that stuff up for me. Right.

He struggled, but it was okay. Okay. So at least he was going to be there at 1.30. Yeah. Anyway, people came. It was great. Tons of fun. I ordered heroin catering.

But then big hack, and I learned this from a. girls party I threw recently. There's an amazing pizza place in L.A. on the east side called quarter sheets. I wasn't going to say that because, you know, how I feel about giving. I don't want to gate keep, but I also want to be able to go to my spots. Yeah, yeah. And there's already lines and it's already a thing. But it's a great place.

And you can take out pizzas. Okay. Oh, and cook them at home. Like they're half cooked? No, they're cooked. Oh, they're cooked. Like, yeah, pick them up. Well, every pizza place.

That's not novel. Yeah. You wouldn't order. The business pizza joints are in is. It's not, it's a restaurant. It's a sit-down restaurant. Yeah. But they also do to go.

Yeah. But like John and Vinnie's, you wouldn't be able to get like a huge pizza, I don't think. Yeah, I mean, yeah, you can order John and Vinnie's to go. From the restaurant, you can order to go if you're there, right? No, no, you can call. It's on postmates. It's on postmates. And order a huge one?

I don't, you need a pizza. Or like a special one that they don't normally make? It's like a big pizza and a big box. It's not the one that you get. I see what you're saying. So they offer a pizza to go at wood sheets that they don't offer on the menu when you're seated. Is that what I'm saying? Quarter sheets.

Yeah. You can get like a big pizza as opposed to when you go to the restaurant, you get a quarter sheets pizza. Like a party sub. Right. Okay. So. Okay. So it's a pizza place that you can order pizza from.

Uh-huh. Yeah. So you got. So I ordered order sheets to come at 515. Oh, okay. And they have these amazing desserts there. And I asked if I could get a cake also. Okay.

You're not allowed to get a cake to go really normal. Oh, you're not? No. They did it for me. And so they brought the cake and we sang to Jess. It was the last part of his birthday. Okay. And it was so fun.

Also, we learned a new game. It's really fun. It's called Imposter. It's an app game. Okay. This is how you play. Everyone's sitting together in a circle. And like I, we put everyone's name in the phone.

Then I go first, right? I look at the phone. It says a word and a category normally. It says a word and then I pass it to the right. Let's use the word. Okay. It says blinds. It says blinds.

And the category objects. Objects. Okay. Then it says pass to Erica. Pass to Erica. She sees the same thing. She passes. Everyone sees the word and the object except one person. One person sees imposter. Okay. Okay. Okay. It's kind of like mafia. Exactly. Okay. So then everyone goes, everyone's seen it. Everyone goes around and says one word to describe the word. to describe blinds. Okay. Now, so the imposter has to surmise what that word is and then try to say something.

Yes. The problem is when you are, when you do know the word and you're giving your clue, there's multiple things going on. You want people to know that you're not the imposter. Yeah. But also, if the imposter learns the word, they win. So you want to give a weird enough clue that people, yeah, it's really fun. So Venetian, would you say Venetian?

Yeah, you could, but this might be too much. Now, I was the imposter on that round. Oh, on the blinds round. Yeah. Okay. And part of it is it's randomized, so I was second. Sure. That's harder.

Really hard. Okay. So Erica went first and she said sunshine. Okay. So then I have to go. And all I know is objects. Yes. So I was like, fuck.

Okay. I'm going to go with like yellow. Okay. So adjectives? See, now you know it's blind. So it seems obvious of what I'm about to say stupid. Yeah. But if you didn't know that, you wouldn't have thought this.

So I said banana. Banana. Okay. Uh-oh. But do you think some people are like in their mind, they're like, I guess they're kind of shaped like banana? So, okay, this is what happens, right? So then everyone says their thing.

I still, I don't know what it is. Yeah. And then the deliberation begins, right? And people are like, I don't know banana or like somebody else's they thought could be also. Yeah. Invariably, someone's going to say something that makes no sense, even if they know the word. Exactly.

And so at one point, Anthony, one of my best, longest friends, he goes, I think I know what Monica's doing. And he was like, I don't really, I think she might be, I think I know what she's doing. Because you can't, again, you can't be like she's doing this because then the imposter would know the word. So you have to be kind of careful when you're deliberating. And then I felt so guilty. Uh-huh. Because he was really having my back. And you get really self-conscious of what your body language is doing and stuff.

Yeah. But and then and then at one point, Jess was like, yeah, me too. And I was like, oh my God. He too agrees with everything that Anthony said. Yeah. Okay, because he's just close. He just wanted to also get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But then later he goes, I don't know. She's such a good actor. I don't think. And I was like, you just said you understood. Right. And he was like, yeah, I didn't. Okay. Okay.

So then I did get got. You did? Yeah. Okay. Which was annoying. But I was like, okay, everyone agrees. We're going to say it's Monica. And then if what, if you can say what the word is, you're clear.

I win. But if you can't say what the word is. So let's say you had figured out it was blind. You say blind. Then what happened? I win. And then what, there's a scoreboard or? Well, if you want, sure.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Well, you know, where was some villagers that get smaller and small? smaller. You don't kick people out. You could just play however many rounds. I mean, you could kick people out if you want it, but that's not fun. Okay. I mean, you could have score. You could. You could have like a scoreboard. But you can't really, the problem is it's not really fair because it's all randomized. So like Erica got the imposter multiple times.

And like just never got it. Okay. So it wouldn't really be there. Yeah. Yeah. But anyway, it was a really fun game. I recommend that. Yes. Uh, anyway, we just had a great time. I love hosting at my house. I bet. It's really, you loved hosting at your apartment. I love hosting.

You're a host. I just love to do it. You're a natural host. Yeah. And it is kind of, you know, it's, it's rude because like, you know, some people you like get away with things and other people you don't. Okay. Yeah, that's an example. You know, it's like if someone's not tucking in the chair, I'm like, if it's one person, but if it's another person, I don't care.

Right. Right. Yes. It's very unfair that we hold everyone to different standards. Yeah. But it's also realistic. It is. It's also, it's based on the person and all the things we've told ourselves about the person. It's like, this person is so inconsiderate. Yeah. Yeah. They're so unconscientious. They are not paying attention to anything.

Yeah, yeah. Stay tuned for more armchair expert if you dare. You have to fight it really hard. I have to fight it really hard as a parent. Mm-hmm. It's so hard. Or a sibling, I bet. To continue to give them the benefit of the doubt.

It's like they have forgotten whatever they've forgotten nine times in a row. And so, yeah. Well, like, here's a great example. Well, this isn't even an example. I don't know. This is just funny. Our trip started. So we went to Nashville.

And our trip started with me saying like, okay, everybody, the night before, we got to be in the car at 845. Great. I know that's not going to happen. I've already slid it back. Good. I was going to say you adjusted. Yeah.

So, you know, loading up morning of the flight and sure enough, 845, no way. I'm in the van. Then maybe Delta gets in the van at 855. 10 minutes late. Then Kristen gets in and then Delta gets out. Oh, this, God. And then Lincoln gets in. And then Kristen gets out to find.

Delta and then Delta gets in. And so this had cycled through like two or three times. And my commitment is just to accept that whatever it's going to be. I can't. I have no sway over how this is going. So that had cycled through. And I was just like, oh, my God, if I could ever get all three of a minute, I'm just going to fucking floor it out of the driveway.

And all of a sudden, at like 902, I'm in the van completely by myself again. And I'm like, how is this? How did this happen? Why am I now by myself? Like, I had two at one point. I never had all three, but I have had all three of them in the van at different times. And so by the time they all come out at whatever, 905, I'm just, I just have my head and my hands sitting in the front. Yeah.

Yes. And so. This is hard. It's hard. And then, you know, a goal would be the next time we have to go to the airport that I don't go into it going, well, here's what's going to happen. they're going to all be in, you know, like. Do you don't do that? I mean, I think you should fight it because people are inconsistent in great ways and in bad ways.

And if my stories about them is that they are always late, all of them, then I'll just be looking for that. And I'll drive myself crazy. Like, I do have to attempt to go into each situation with a clean slate. But this is hard. Even though it's completely unrealistic. And you couldn't, like, run a business this way. But I think for interpersonal relationships and family relationships, you have to. I know, but this is literally the op.

This goes in complete contradiction with having expectations. Like having expectations. So I would say, actually, you do have to tell yourself, look, this is what's going to happen. They're going to get in and out of the car a million times. It's going to be past nine. Yeah. Because then. And I had done that, right, which is why I never, what was really great as we got to the,

airport and Ryan had had the exact same situation. He has three daughters. And then he admitted he had yelled, right? He had, he had given a, yeah, it was very natural. I'm not saying that to out him or throw him under the bus. But I was like, oh yeah, I didn't because I did. I knew it was coming. But somehow I have to straddle the line between having appropriate expectations, so I'm not frustrated. And also, leaving lots of room for everyone to surprise me and not be this thing. I've said they all are. I know. Because that also is, I think, damaging or destructive. I mean, how do you do both? I don't know how you do both. And then if you do the expectation one, then if they surprise you, then it's like, you're so happy. That's true.

That's definitely true. And look, we made it. We flew out on time. Everything worked out just fine. So I'm sure their story could be like, oh, dad's neurotic. We've never missed a flight. I don't know why he's all. been out of shape about it.

I, you know, often disagree with you about most things. Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I really, really vehemently agree about being out the door on time when you're supposed to be. Right. Well, it's definitely, if it's something you can miss and it fucks up the entire trip, I think it's, there are, right, like not all situations are the same. They're not. They're relatively different pressure and impact and outcome.

If you miss your flight, you may have missed a whole day of vacation. Yeah. And you only have four days. I know. I mean, I feel this on smaller levels, too. I just think if everyone's agreed, look, things happen. I'm not saying things don't happen, but those need to be rarities. That can't be the consistent way.

Do you remember being a teenage? daughter though, were you always on time? Yes. You were. My whole, like, there was no tolerance. Yeah, yeah. And also because, you know, I had friends picking me up for things. Like, you can't make them wait.

Like, that was not an option. Yeah, yeah. And I can't make my parents wait. They have to go to work. Like, I just, it wasn't an option. And so I feel very strongly about when everyone agrees to get out the door on time. What would be great? great for me as if I could simply repeat my mother's approach, but I can't.

Which is just leave. Yeah, you miss the boat in our family. And once you're taught that you, oh, yeah, you really can miss the. The whole family will go to Babelope Island without you. I think you only do that once or twice. So I would love to be able to do that. It's not on the table for my family situation. It's not.

No, it's not. And it shouldn't be. And it probably isn't the best. But it's what I want to do. I know. So I feel like it's on, I'm just defending you so much, even after the whole kickball situation. But I do feel like then you should be able to say, this is what I want to do and I can't do it. And so can you guys meet me halfway and like let's be on time?

Like now I have a similar story that sort of happens. Okay. And I am going to get in trouble for saying this, but I feel like I'm going to say it anyway. Okay, great. Like I'm going to get in trouble from friends. Okay. I know it'll get back to them. I was in the car with two people, two of my friends.

And I look in the back seat. Okay, I've driven us. I've driven us to the restaurant. Okay, we eat and hang and stuff. We're going home and we stop at a coffee shop. I want to get a coffee. So we drive to the coffee shop. It's right there.

After dinner. Oh, sorry. It was kind of lunch. Oh, okay. It's raining. I'll be a little honest. I think I was a little... I think I was a little annoyed and this is on me.

Okay. This part's definitely on me. I think I was a little annoyed that I was driving. Okay. Because I had just thrown the party. And I think I felt a little bit like, okay. Like, and now I'm doing this. But okay, fine.

And it was my idea to go to this place. Yeah. But okay. So then we go to the coffee shop. I look as I'm driving and the person in the backseat is not wearing a seatbelt. Okay. And I was like, oh, they must have forgot to wear a seatbelt. Yeah.

And I was like, hey, friend, wear your seatbelt or put on your seatbelt or make sure you're wearing your seatbelt or whatever. And then I park, right? Okay, I get out. I get my coffee. I also like sense, the response wasn't like, oh, shit. Right. And I was like, okay, so maybe that wasn't an accident. Right.

Or maybe the, yeah, felt more like a. To her their autonomy. It was a choice for them. Yeah, yeah. And so then I was like, okay, now these friends are talking about this situation while I'm in there getting a coffee. Okay. Okay. I didn't love that, but I didn't know what happened, but I know what happened.

So then. Well, you got confirmation? I'm smart. Okay. Okay. No, well, yeah. Okay. So then I.

Jay. Am I free to interject thoughts? Yes. Let just let the whole thing roll out. No, you can. No, I didn't get coffee. I'm only flagging that one part. I know.

That one part is your thing where it's like you're convinced everyone talks about you and you're not around. Or that's a fear. How about that? It's a fear. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh-huh. Okay. So then I get in the car and I turn on the car.

I look back. This person is not putting on their seatbelt. Okay. And I said, hey, can you put on your seatbelt? Uh-huh. And they go, are you serious? Uh-huh. And I was like, yeah.

Uh-huh. You have to wear a seatbelt. And then the other person was like, I don't know if you have to. And I was like, you do have to. Well, are we talking legally? Yeah. Okay. I looked it up.

Yeah, yeah. Legally, you have to wear a seatbelt in the car. Yeah. I was like, it's illegal. Yeah. And it's on me. If a cop drives by and sees that someone doesn't wear a seatbelt, pulls us over, it's on me. I just, I did say that, not knowing.

Is that true? And I looked it up and it is true. Even if the passenger is over 16, I know that's true if they're under 16 don't have a license that they could be given a ticket for. According to my Google. Okay. Let's see. For adult passengers, maybe we. Let me see.

Yes, you must wear a seatbelt in California. Everyone in the vehicle must wear a seatbelt. The rule applies to both front and back seats. The driver, it says driver responsibility. The driver must make sure all passengers. are buckled up, drivers can get a ticket for any unbuckled passenger. Oh, wow. Okay. So. Okay. So you had the law on your side.

And it's my car. Uh-huh. I say you wear a seatbelt. You wear a seatbelt. Like I feel so clean about it. Yeah. And like I also, you know, then, yeah, then other stuff of mine starts where I'm like, if you're in the car with Dax and he says put on a seatbelt, you're not going to put on a seatbelt. You're going to say, are you serious? Well, hold on. If I say put on a seatbelt, that I mean stunt driving is ahead. If you say anything in your car while you're driving, no one is going to say shit. And that's the truth.

Well, hold, okay. Besides maybe your children. Slow down. Can we, are we sure about that? Yeah. Okay. Well, unless you say to do something illegal, if you're doing something that's because you're like, I'm driving the car, this is my car.

I say don't eat my car. Yeah, I mean, there's a toughie for me to know for sure. Sure, because as you just pointed out, I'm generally with my children and my family. And yeah, the rules I put down in the bus are completely ignored. Like, you know, I'm like, no, no, we're dry. Just because we're in the bus doesn't mean you can make macaroni and cheese while we're going on, you know, whatever. Okay. Your family, your kids are a different situation.

I'm trying to think. I definitely think there are groups of my friends that would and wouldn't and there's, and vice versa. Okay. Well, this person would. Okay. I know for certain. Uh-huh. both people in this car would.

Okay. Okay. Now that's fine. I'm like... Can I point on one thing? Now that's tricky? Mm-hmm. So I won it.

Yeah, that's fine. Unless we were getting on like a race... I wouldn't tell someone to put their seatbelt on. Yeah, that's fine. Other than my children, because they're my children. I'll make them put on seatbelts. But unless we're like in the sand dunes off-roading or on a race track, I'd be like, well, you have to have a helmet and a seatbelt on.

on to be in this. But I, so that's, I think that's in the mix. I also wouldn't do it. If I looked back in the backseat and Aaron Weekly, didn't have a seatbelt on, I wouldn't say a thing. That's fine. He decided he's an adult. He's made a decision that he wants to or doesn't.

So is that part of it or no? No. That's your rule in your car. Well, I mean, again, apart from the law, which says it must happen. If you decide, you're driving, if you decide, like, if I'm not driving, if I'm not driving, I might have been like, hey, why aren't you wearing a seatbelt? And then they would have been like, I don't want to wear a seatbelt. And if the driver didn't care, that's fine.

Okay. But if it is your car and you are driving, you get to. Yeah, I agree that you get to. You fully get to say what happens. I agree you get to. So if you not caring is you, like you don't. I know that. That's fine.

Because really quick, I'm very sensitive to authority, right? So I'm like predicting how I would feel if someone told me to put my seatbelt on. That's in my calculation because I know what that feels like to have that real bristle against being told what to do as an adult. But it's being told because of the law. It's not like. But I can't really use that car because I'm also going to drive five miles an hour over the speed limit. And like so I've already like you already know that I, it's not like I have a total respect for the law. So it would be very inconsistent if I'm like, well, I don't care about speeding law.

but I do care about the seatbelt law. Well, you do get to decide that. You get to decide that. You do for sure. But the people I'm talking to, it's well within their right to acknowledge, well, this is highly inconsistent. He cares about this, but doesn't care about that. I'm just painting the picture of, like, the reaction you get is part of a much bigger story

about yourself, which is like, A, I generally don't tell people what to do simply because I don't like being told what to do, right? That's just my own personal thing. I just don't think that's true. You don't think that's true? No, there's house rules. Do you have house rules in your house? Maybe it's not true.

People take their shoes off. I can only think of that one right now. Like that specific one, I just know I want to given that one example. So I do wonder if like say Aaron who's known me for 30 years knows I'm not the type of person that tell him to do something, that if I do, he gives me the benefit of the doubt of like, well, he's not like, he's not a controlling authoritarian person. If he's telling me this, this something must be specifically. You know what I'm saying? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

I just like, if it's your house or your car, it's not authoritarian. I mean, okay, well, actually, this is helping. This is going to help wrap up my point, which is like, I think that's so childish. Uh-huh. To be like, don't tell me what to do. It's like, you're in my car. Then you drive. Yeah, yeah.

Or at your house in Nashville, you guys have a rule now, no shoes. Yeah. I don't like taking off. my shoes. I mean either. And guess what? I'm going to do it because that's your house and your rules. Absolutely. Like, okay, I might think that's arbitrary because other rules aren't, you know, whatever. It's not my job to say. Right. And I think that's very childish. So I, so that all happened. And I was like, okay, they did put their seatbelt on. Okay. And then we're getting on the interstate. and the other person is like, uh-oh, I have to pee.

And I was like, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I don't want to be a mom. Uh-huh. There's a reason I don't have children and I have two children in my car and I had to pull over on the side of the road. Okay. So one of the children could tinkle. And then the other person is like, that's crazy. And I'm like, well, you're also.

doing something crazy. So that was frustrating for me. Yeah. Yeah. I understand. Yeah. I understand everyone's feelings probably in the situation. And I know that you're objectively correct.

It's childish to disregard rules. When you're an adult, you're an adult. Just like. It is childish. It's not preferred. Also, people come with a lot more baggage than other people. and it might also be relevant to consider. But when your baggage comes at potential, like the cost of me,

I, that's where I say no. Yeah, yeah, that's fair. You don't want to take on their issues. Yeah. If it's going to come out of cost. Look, if it's on, again, if it's on its own, people have their stuff. I have plenty of my own stuff.

But if, and again, if I'm not driving, not my car, I'm not in charge here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fine. Well, I, everything in life's tradeoffs, right? So I want to drive. I want to be in charge of driving. And so I, the cost of that is like, yeah, I have passengers and they likely aren't behaving

the way I would wish they were. My choice is to be a passenger. Yeah. And then that stuff won't bother me in theory. But it's not worth meeting a passenger. Sure, I didn't want to be a driver. You didn't. Yeah, see, that's where it's very different for you and I.

Yeah, you should just be a path. You should just go like, you drive. But they, it was a pick me up situation. Okay. So, okay, sure, I guess. I already don't really want to be doing that. Fine. Yeah.

I can take one for the team. And then that, no. Right. No. If you want a ride, here are the rules. Yeah. Yeah. All right.

Well, we should do some facts. Let's do some facts. This is for Dave, friends. Oh, what a charmer. Oh, he's so cute. We've since we had a double date with them or we exposed them to Baja California tacos. How did that go? I think we're like six for six.

People we've introduced it. No, I've never had them. You've never introduced me. What's the hold up? What is, what are you waiting for? I don't know. Well, do you like a hard shell taco? That's the first and foremost.

I do like a hard shell taco. Okay. Do you prefer to a soft shell taco? It depends on the mood. Okay. I sometimes do hard shell taco night. Oh, okay, at the house. Then you make them.

Oh, fun. You put the shells in the... House and Robin has a recipe. Do you put the pre-made shells and then put them in the oven? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you buy them pre-made, but then you got a crisp of the shell. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You can go too far. I've gone too far. Yeah. And then they powder. You take a bite and the thing just turns to powder. Um, okay. Is this Pope the first American Pope? Yes.

Okay. Um, he said working with the professional trainer. He heard. makes you work out 60% harder. It does say study show. You know, that's general. But it says studies show that 60% to, oh, no, this is different. This is different.

Studies show that 60% to 70% of people who work with a personal trainer stick to their routines long term. Okay. Yeah, when I talk to people about exercise, what seems to be the hard part is not the exercise. It is committing to going. Yeah. So if you've paid someone, I can see where it could be hugely impactful.

Yeah. Yeah. Definitely. Back to the aforementioned chat about not wanting to be told what to do ever. Yeah, you don't have to train. That does, I had to figure out how to get myself there because I couldn't do it. Yeah. Oh, are Pope's allowed to smile?

Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah. I wasn't sure. Okay. Forbade. Because he smiled at Dave. Uh-huh.

And it was a big deal. And I was like, yeah, I don't even know if they're. allowed to do that. Yeah. But they are. Okay, great. Of course Dave got a smile. How could you not smile back at that cute smile?

That Pope's from Chicago, too. Yeah, he is. And a White Sox fan. Oh. Big deal. He was at like the 2005 White Sox World Series. They have like a thing at the park for him and they've done Pope that, Pulpit giveaways. Are you a socks or a Cubs?

I'm a White Sox fan. He's asking, is it like, is one? Cubsby's fans are this. White Sox fans are more hardcore. Yes, yes. The White Sox fans are tougher. Cubby fans are softer. Is it because they're called Cubbies?

Because that does sound childlike. It doesn't help the cause. Yeah. But Cubs is a term in the gay community. Bear. A bear and a cub. Yeah, yeah. Smaller bear.

Boys and men who love bears are cubs. Is it still? I wonder what the new lingo is. I'm sure there's new lingo. Yeah. would hope. Like, I wonder what a salamander is. Ooh.

Probably a slippery guy. I think a salamander is a guy who's always at the steam room and the saunas. Oh, wet environment. He's just watching and not ever participating. Ew. Yeah, that's a salamander. Oh, gross. A spectator.

Okay, well, I mean, one thing about Dave is he loves cats. Yeah, he really does. And it's really cute. Yeah. How, oh, when we talked about Flo, the movie Flo, because he said that movie won an Oscar and it had the cat as the protagonist. Oh, right. Finally. Yeah.

So Flo grossed over 50 million to 57 million worldwide. Oh, okay. But it only had a production budget of 3.7 million. Oh, so very profitable. Yeah. It made a lot of money. It did only gross 4.8 million in North America. The international support was large.

So maybe they like cats more. Well, no, I think it's like. Like, is it a story about Mexico? Or is that a different one? That's a different. Are you thinking of the Pixar one? Oh, flow is Latvian. So that makes sense.

Oh, it's independent. Okay. Well, obviously, I guess, since it was $3 million. Independent animated dystopian adventure film. A Latvian French and Belgian co-production. Post-apocalyptic world. Okay. A cat trying to survive along with other animals

in a seemingly post-apocalyptic world as a water level dramatically rises. What a union, Latvia, France, and Belgium. Yeah. Okay, well, this makes, oh, it released a can. Okay. That makes sense because it said most, so gross $45 million with strong performances in markets like Mexico, France, and its native Latvia. Oh, yeah, huge in Latvia.

That makes sense. I have an embarrassed admission to make. I couldn't point out Latvia on a map if it were to save everyone's life. And I know what? They deserve to be known. They do. And I think I can't point out a lot of places. I'm getting really nervous about geography.

Okay, recently. Yeah. Some other country came up and I like know it, but I'm like, where is it? Uh-huh. Where did they put it? Where did I put that country? Okay. So it's just under Estonia and above Lithuania.

It's near Russia. Yes, it is. It's bordering Russia. Now, Russia is confusing. In what respect. In that it's European and Asian-ish. Like, it like... Well, it stretches 11 time zones. And I think under USSR was 13 time zones.

So more than half the time zones it stretched. So you might live in Asia. You might be Asian. Mongolian, virtually. Yeah, if you're in Siberia. Right. Yeah. Their ethnography is.

complex. Yeah. There's Sweden and Norway and Finland. Uh-huh. All your friendly neighbors to the north, the Norse. I've been to Estonia and that little chunk of Russia right next to Estonia where St. Petersburg is. But I did not go south to Latvia.

And now I feel like a fool. Well, maybe you crossed through and just didn't know. I definitely sailed next to it. Right. Because I had left Denmark. Yeah. Left Copenhagen. You saw it.

You've been there. Okay. I'm going to put a pin in my map, my world map. When I was in Spanish class, you know, we had to learn obviously the South American and all those maps. Uh-huh. And there was a song to remember the capitals of these countries. And I think 30 times a week, two lines of that song. run through my brain.

Can you do the whole song? No. And then that drives me nuts. Right. So I'm always trying to get the rest and it's only like two lines. Uh-huh. That is that. I mean.

Ecuador, Lima, Peru. Why don't you look it up though? The song? And relearn it. That might be nice. I kind of want to see if Callie remembers it. Yeah, yeah. And have her sing it to me on voice memo.

For your birthday? Yeah. Okay. I'll give her a heads up. That's what you want on your birthday. Okay. But it's just like, you know how some things are in your brain in a weird? They're seared, but they just pop up. Like, I'm in the shower and I'm always like, Kito, Ecuador, Lipu, that's it.

Yeah. You're halfway there, I think. No, there's a lot more. There's a lot more. Anyway, that's it. That's everything. Yeah. Okay, wonderful. Yep, yep, yep. Well, hopefully, well, I want to hear the song at some point.

Yeah. Stay tuned for the next fact check. hopefully I'll have it by then. Okay. Love you. Love you.