Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard - Finneas

Episode Date: April 11, 2024

Finneas is an award-winning songwriter and music producer. Finneas joins the Armchair Expert to discuss what his favorite snacks are, what annoys him about flying, and why he doesn’t like the ocean. Finneas and Dax talk about why they don’t like to follow rules, why his parents chose to home school him, and how he was introduced to writing music. Finneas weighs in on the red carpet debate, explains how he started scoring films, and what his love language is. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert, Expert Son Expert. I'm Dan Rather and I'm joined by Monica Monsoon. Hi. Hello. This long-awaited Easter egg. People were growing impatient and I understand why. Yeah, we dropped this egg a while back.

We did, recklessly. It was a golden egg. Yeah, it sure was. Phineas. Phineas is an Academy and Grammy award winning singer, songwriter, and composer. His solo albums include Optimist, Blood Harmony. Phineas, Phineas is an Academy and Grammy award winning singer, songwriter and composer. His solo albums include Optimist, Blood Harmony.

He's written and produced, you know, What Was I Made For, No Time to Die, When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go, Happier Than Ever, he's such a beast. And I'm so excited about this. He has scored a new Apple TV series that comes out this year called Disclaimer. And so now he's scoring things.

Yeah, he's done a few things. Which is really exciting. He's a phenom. I know, he is a prodigy. He also, I'm gonna put him in almost the Kimmel category where a lot of good boy vibes and sexy guy and cool guy. Oh, all the categories. Sexy man and best boy.

Yeah, right, he kind of delivered on all the categories. I can see that. I feel like a lot of people have the opinion of him just based on what they see on TV, that he's just a very. You might think even shy. Exactly, shy, super sweet, and he's not. He has a fun personality.

Big time, a rascal even, I'd say. And a little bit of a contrarian, he says himself. So it's not. He has a fun personality. Big time. A rascal even, I'd say. And a little bit of a contrarian, he says himself. So it's fun. Yeah, it was a big, big fun pop out the whole way. And now I adore him. Please enjoy Phineas. FanDuel Casino's exclusive live dealer studio has your chance at the number one feeling, winning,

which beats even the 27th best feeling, saying I do. Who wants his last parachute? I do. Enjoy the number one feeling. Winning, in an exciting live dealer studio, exclusively on FanDuel Casino, where winning is undefeated. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connexontario.ca. Please play responsibly. He's an options man.

He's an options man. He's an options man. Oh, you've been seeing each other? Yeah, well, Phineas has seen me with my headphones in. He lives in the hood! Well, I know, but do I know that you guys are seeing each other at walks? Well, I have two dogs, so I walk relentlessly, as you do. You're a better dog owner than I am.

I have two dogs that I have not walked at all. Over the last two years, I've been like, I think that's Monica. Occasionally. But also, not to be, be, not to be accusatory. You're probably listening to early edits. That's right. I never see you sort of like lackadaisically. I don't. I walk with a mission.

I see you really focused. It's never been a good time to say, love the show. Well, I would have loved to have heard that. But you're right. I would have been like, first, you would have been like, excuse me. You know what I mean? Pretty accurate. Well Well because they could be saying a car is coming like you have to react quickly. You do have to kind of be fast with it. Yeah you gotta be fast. True. There's so much here though also you know Monica yes she likely was editing her preoccupied but also she enters the street is like it's an apocalypse people

are gonna attack her like she's definitely in a zone when she's out on the streets. Is that fair? That's fair. My best friend... Happy birthday, Callie. It's her birthday today. Thank you. My best friend, um, said... He was talking to Ruff. Oh.

Oh. I thought you were being funny about Callie's birthday. She said, I walk like I'm on a mission. In high school, I would do that. Oh, they're so good! They were brought to us direct from Australia. I'm gonna wait till we're deep in this interview when my intermittent... Misophonia....when my intermittent fast is broken. In high school I would do that. Oh, they're so good. Holy shit, they were brought to us direct from Australia. I'm gonna wait till we're deep in this interview

when my intermittent fast is broken. I'm gonna hit a timetable. You have an alarm that goes off on your phone? No, but I'll feel it. I'll know when noon is. Yeah. You do it? Pavlovian.

I've been doing it on and off. I'm a fan of it for two reasons. One is who likes to fall asleep feeling too full. Sure. And then the other one is just in any version of dieting at all. I like the restricted hours, but I feel like I can eat whatever I want in the hours. Yeah.

It's not the food you're taking away. Yeah. The hardest form of trying to control what I eat has been like eating less Cheez-Its than I want to. I love Cheez-Its. They're really good. That's your food too? Like, do I love Cheez-Its?

Yeah. I do love Cheez-Its. You love them. They're so good. You love Cheez-Its. We all love Cheez-Its. Well, I have come to Cheez-Its? Yeah. I do love Cheez-Its. You love them. They're so good. You love Cheez-Its. We all love Cheez-Its. Well, I have come to Cheez-Its by way of you. They were not for me.

I didn't realize that. In fact, they're what my stepfather liked. So they got filed into that's what Barton loves. Old man food a little bit. Maybe a little bit. My last stepdad, who I absolutely adored. The final boss. The final boss.

And why I liked him is he was never much of a boss. And you're too young for this, but he had Mr. Belvedere vibes. Do you remember Mr. Belvedere? What's Mr. Belvedere from? It was a show about a butler, Mr. Belvedere. And he was very proper, and he wore sweater vests, and he was nice.

I think now it's like a vodka. What? I think Belvedere is a vodka. Oh, Belvedere is a beautiful brand of vodka. But back then, you just stood for kind of old fashioned butler class. So the fact that he ate Cheez-Its for me, it wasn't sexy enough.

Yeah, the idea that you'd associate that with some authority figure. What do they represent for you, fun? These are so fun, they're square. There's millions of them in this bag. I think they're like any form of snack where it's the tub, it's like pretzels or something. Anything that you're sticking your hand down

into like a claw machine or the arcade, bad sign. Monica, I don't wanna speak for you, but you have a specific association that's airport for you. Yeah, that's my airport snack of choice. So as soon as I get in there, I need the big bag. Mine for a long time was Takis, you know those? The spicy things.

Takis are Dorito adjacent. They're like a rolled chip and they're super spicy. I do know. Sometimes people wear them on their, that's Bugles. That's Bugles, but I do know what you're speaking of in that the cylindrical shape of them adds even more crunch. It's really violently crunchy. And it became a whole debacle in Billy and my touring life because we were public

facing appreciators of Takis, which meant that by the 15th show, they were like being thrown at us on stage. Oh, really? Wow. So we definitely crossed over the bell curve of appreciating them to being like, no, no, no, no, this has to stop. And now when I'm at an airport, I'm like, Oh, I got a bag of that. There was a period where they were sort of falling out of my jacket pockets

and being hit in the face with them. You felt like it had jumped the shock. Just like anything that you suddenly go from, this is a little delicacy that I appreciate to like always being inundated with them. What a bizarre lesson to learn real time is that, well, we gotta be careful how much we express our love for something, because they'll eventually get thrown at us on stage. Thank God you aren't into throwing stars

or something dangerous. Something that would kill me. Yeah, I've always, because I'm a junkie, so I've thought there were certain performers, generally standups, who knowingly would be like, bring drugs to my show. And people would throw free drugs on stage. And I thought that was such a great idea, yeah. You thought it was so generous. standups who knowingly would be like, bring drugs to my show. And people would throw free drugs on stage.

And I thought that was such a great idea. Yeah. You thought it was so generous. Well, it was a generous of the participants, but also what a great hack. You're in another town. You don't want to travel drugs. You don't want to store. I feel like you're talking about a pre-fentanyl period of time.

Exactly. I am. That sounds terrifying. You're right. Don't do this kids. If you're a very popular standup, the three people that are out there listening, Theo Von, don't ask anyone to do this. I'm not friends with standups like you are,

but when I go to friends concerts and I go to their green room to say like great show, there's usually some consumed bottle of alcohol. Of course. That I have a feeling of like, oh my God, are you hitting that every night? That kind of blows me away. And maybe it's a whole band

and maybe it's a whole crew backstage and they're all having it, but sometimes I'm like, I don't see a lot of people back here, man. It's a very empty bottle. Huge deficit of alcohol for two people. When you two are, what is your kind of habitual pattern? And what's on a rider? I have a super monastic, boring rider because of exactly

what we're talking about, because of like, when we first started, my writer was like Oreos. Great pick. I'd eat like a case of Oreos a day. Milk too? Yeah, sometimes milk, sometimes just like hitting them out of the can. But anyway, again, it was kind of an exposure thing

of like, ooh, I shouldn't have this always at arm's length every day. So my writer is like apples and a can of cold black coffee and stuff. It's very tame. I wasn't a famous musician, but I do weirdly relate to this on a deep level, which is when I graduated high school, I kind of went working full time with my mother doing car shows for General Motors and you had a per diem and I

coveted fast food so much growing up. I love fast food too. And it never occurred to me that if I had endless fast food, my body would change rapidly and I graduated at 185 and after just one year of doing car shows, my body would change rapidly. And I graduated at 185. And after just one year of doing car shows, I'll never forget it. I was in Lake Lanier, Georgia. And I just caught a glance at myself and I said,

you're becoming a very big boy. And I stepped on a scale and I was 217. So I had gained 32 pounds with this per diem, just absentmindedly. Mystery weight. Yes, and it's a lucky position to be in life where you actually have excess. It's true, or yeah, what's around. We're talking about the same Yes, yes, mystery way. Yes. And it's a lucky position to be in life where you actually have excess. It's true or yeah, what's around.

We're talking about the same thing basically, which is that adulthood and independence was coinciding with this other unhealthy thing. Living at my parents' house, my mom's a healthy person and had healthy shit around. Even I remember turning 18 and I was dating a girl that was going to college and she was home for the summer and I would go over to her parents' house

where she was staying and we'd hang out late in the evening, but it wasn't kosher to spend the night so I'd leave and there was a Taco Bell blocks away. And I hit that Taco Bell almost every night for like- Well you had blue balls and you had to get- No they were fucking, he just wasn't sleeping over. Oh you're right, you're right, what am I thinking? She was in college, he was 18.

I hit a Taco Bell like every- These were post-coital tacos. Sure, yes. There's nothing tastier than a post-coital. It's better than the cigarette though. Yeah. But I have a very vivid memory of after a summer of the bell, being at a restaurant for my birthday,

which is at the end of July, going to wash my hands in the bathroom, looking in the mirror and being like, who's that? I look so different. It was shocking to me. I've been saying that for the last two years that I've been eating like it's for a roll.

But I have not. I feel very saved by that I did have to be on camera all through my thirties and I couldn't just go crazy. My vanity has probably added 20 years to my life. And you enjoy it. Mentally, nothing makes me feel better. Like Arnold. It's better than coming. It's like you're walking around all day coming. You leave the. And you enjoy it. Mentally, nothing makes me feel better. Like Arnold. It's better than coming.

It's like you're walking around all day coming, you leave the gym and you're coming. Can you imagine for me how much I'm in heaven? Wow, doing Arnold. And I'm glad you've seen that clip. That's unbelievable. That's special. He's just so delighted. He's like, the pump is better than coming

and then I'm home and I'm coming. He's delighted. He's so happy about it. And he was doing two a days, yeah, so he had the pump twice a day. How much for me I am in heaven really killed him. Imagine how much for me I am in heaven. Ah, ah, ah, ah, were just in South By and I was moderating a panel for Roadhouse. It's all young actors, they're dudes,

they all got in great shape. And then we saw him the next day at the hotel and one of the guys grabbed my shoulder and he's like, what are you training for? That's sweet, what a huge compliment. It is, but I also felt very silly because I used to be able to say, oh, I'm doing a movie. And I was like, I don't know.

I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know what it's about. He started crying. A hernia. Just training to get a hernia. Yes. First of all, I listened to the Jake episode of armchair when he was like shooting that. And I was sort of that stuff that Jake was at a year ago when he was finishing shooting that.

Cause you remember they shot for a while, he got COVID or something and it paused for two and a half months. So I was like, dude, so you just had to stay like zero percent body fat for three months while you're on hiatus. I was like, yeah, it sucks. He looked unbelievable. He had the greatest looking body on a man

I'd almost ever seen. And there's like videos of him at USC and stuff. It was insane. You wait till you see this film. He's got the most glorious body. And are you like videos of him at USC and stuff. It was insane. Yes, wait till you see this film. He's got the most glorious body. And are you like me in that I am far more interested in men's bodies than women's bodies, even though I'm heterosexual?

Like you and I both have a mental image of what Jake's body looks like right now, but I don't think you and I have one of a female actress right now. Let's pretend, sure. Yeah, I can't say with full transparency that I have much more interest in men's bodies. I am an appreciator and I'm fascinated by the whole thing.

And I work out and I rock climb and stuff, so there's interest in that for sure. Yes, but you and I aren't gonna miss a male actor who gets in great shape. 100%, very interesting to me. Me too, it's so silly. I've been in a relationship for five years. Which is impressive.

My partner Claudia, who's an actress also, like you and I are talking about, Jake, we have that about actors and actresses alike, or just maybe people, but we were at a party the other night and Claudia was like, Jennifer Lawrence looks un-fucking believable, right? And we have that kind of same version of like,

wow, look at that person. We should all watch a movie together because all the person I talk about is like, my goodness, look at the traps on so and so, look at this, look at that. It's so worth appreciating. I know, I think someone could maybe deduce there's some kind of shallowness to that.

I'm inclined to think it's more like evolutionary. There's something primitive about it that I can't resist. Yeah, I think it's just interesting. Also, most people are not particularly predisposed to it. So it's displaying a kind of like, wow, they really like went for that. Like when Kumail suddenly was Adonis. I won't forget that, like I don't forget

the space shuttle blowing up. That is an important marker of my life. Picturing you with Chris in the other room with Kumail coming on the TV and you being like, babe, hon, get in here! Yeah, it's so silly. But five years is a very long time to be with someone when you're 27.

Yeah, we got together when I was 21 and she was 22. How did you meet? We met on a dating app. Oh, you did? That's the sort of abridged version and then to her the validation was that I knew mutual friends of hers. And then once we'd matched, she was like,

isn't this the guy you keep talking about? I think that that validated me in a way that if I'd just been sending her a message, she would have been like, ah, I don't know who this is. And how long had you been on that dating app and how frequent were your dates? Very briefly, because I miss this whole phase of life and I'm a little envious.

I'm very pro dating app. What could be better than two people being like hot and pressing a button and then talking under the auspice of like, we should go kiss maybe. Like I think that's awesome. It really is. Yeah, I think a lot of energy and time is. We should go kiss, right?

I'm glad you missed it. Yeah, I would have never come out. Yeah. I would have never come out for sure. You would have sunk into a real bed. Yeah, I wouldn't, I shouldn't have been, I wouldn't have been trusted. I think you would have been like me, I think.

Again, I was on it and met people and had fun experiences and then fell in love with Claudia. Full disclosure, I did have that kind of similar thing. MySpace was a thing and that's about as close as I could get to it. It's like strangers interacting and then getting together to kiss. And then one of them has got really good taste

in movies and books. And next thing you know, I'm kind of dating them. I am a habitual monogamous. I can't stay out of a relationship, truth be told. Had you had a long one prior to this five year? I hadn't had really long ones. The college girl, how long was that? That was like a year.

That's pretty good. Do you think we could go out on a limb and say that it maybe is somewhat related to our relationships with our moms? I definitely have a really great relationship with my mom and a really great relationships with our moms. I definitely like have a really great relationship with my mom and a really great relationship with my dad. For me, this is a weird way to put it. I'm a real problem solver

to a sort of debilitating degree sometimes. Everything's a problem. Not everything's a problem, but if there is a problem, I'm gonna try to work through it. Yes. And I think sometimes I'd have friends who seemed like they were having a really good thing with a partner and I'd be like, what happened to that thing? And they're like, oh, it just didn't work out. And I'd be like, what happened? And they'd explain something to me and I'd have friends who seemed like they were having a really good thing with a partner and I'd be like what happened to that thing And they're like, oh, it just didn't work out and I'd be like what happened and they'd explained something to me

And I'd be like well that seems like very surface level that was solvable could have had a little conversation where you said hey That made me uncomfortable when you said that to me. It made me feel small. Yeah, I just communicate a lot But do you think maybe implicit in there is that you and I both had mothers that if I did go bring my feelings to her She a took them seriously. She validated them. She listened, she didn't deny me, because I said so. She treated me as a peer and with respect.

Did you go over to friends' houses as a kid and say, can we do this, can we have a sleepover? And they'd say no, you'd say why? And they'd say, because I said so. That blew my mind. Oh, couldn't the parents? Yeah. Well, interestingly, now I am gonna betray our bond.

My mom begging was not on the table. That was like a rule in the house. So I would go like, can Trevor spend the night? And she'd go, no. And I'd be on the phone with Trevor. She said, no. Well, ask her again. And I'd be like, no, it doesn't work.

Beg her. I go, no, no, it doesn't work. She's just gonna get mad. If she says no, that was for real no. For me, and this is a really good lesson in psychology, is I would go, hey, can me and Cameron have a sleepover tonight? And my mom would go, hey, can me and Cameron have a sleepover tonight? My mom would go, well, he's got soccer practice

in the morning, and what's fun about a sleepover if not waking up and watching a little cartoon and eating breakfast together? You have to worry about going to bed too early tonight because he's got his soccer practice, he's got to wake up for it. By this time, I'm so bored with this answer. I've completely tapped out.

And it's morning. And I'm like, nevermind, you win. And I think that that's a really great example of people, no matter how young are usually not fully immune to like reason and justification. So if you give it to them, they'll just sort of go like, oh yeah. Even if they kind of throw a tantrum about it, it's like a little inarguable. Well, that's the policy we have at the house, which is best argument wins. And it can be from them and often is. They'll say something and I'll go,

oh, that was a great counter, you got this one. Yeah, sometimes I would be like, it's so important to me to continue this hang that we will promise to go to bed on time and wake up early as long as we can watch Incredibles right now. I can't wait to tell my kid, sorry, I decided this and that's that and I'm the mom.

We were just talking about this. And that's the end of this conversation go to bed Go back to bed shut them in there. I can't wait to do that. Why is that how your childhood went? What's going on? No, I got away with murder. How did you get away with stuff? You're the oldest That's the one that they're careful with but I was good. I was good in school I did everything I needed to do outwardly so in the house if I was shitty, which I was good in school. I did everything I needed to do outwardly. So in the house, if I was shitty, which I was, they were like, I guess we prefer that she's a good student. Yeah, performing for us. So sure, she can run wild.

But we were just talking about this. Yes, I have zero problems with authority. I have no problem with someone telling me I'm in charge. Give the literal example, we're just on an airplane coming home from Texas and the shades were down and they said, you gotta have the shades down to keep the airplane cool. But we had been on a flight a week before where they're like,

gotta have the shades up, it's FAA, we gotta be able to see shit. And I'm like, see, this is what I hate. It's so fucking arbitrary. There's not really a rule. They're switching it on me. And she's like, I don't care about that. Yeah, sure. The airline thing, actually, I will confess,

I don't take it out on anybody, but I get angry in a way that I don't get angry anywhere else, because I fly all the fucking time, and every person that works for any airline or any security or any gate screams at me like, what are you, stupid? This is the way it is everywhere. And I'm like, I was on a flight yesterday morning, and it wasn't this way, and I've had this thing in my bag

that you're telling me I'm not allowed to have in my bag for 400 flights. That drives me out of my mind. It's the arbitrariness of it that I don't know why I can't get over. I'm always like, just because you work in an airport doesn't mean I'm not on more flights than you. It's a good point.

But think about who they have to deal with. Oh, I literally, my actual conversation is like, it's not your fault, man. I know you're just doing your job. I never ever am arguing. I just have balled my fists up privately. What kind of little boy were you? You had sleepovers. That's encouraging. Only at my house. I had really bad separation anxiety.

Did you? I was never sleeping over anywhere else. No. I would think I could do it and the sun would go down and I'd be like, I'm really doing it. And then at one in the morning, I'd be like, mom. You would call me. Oh, sweet. Would you be embarrassed?

Yeah, for sure. I would like other myself in ways like that as a child, like with separation anxiety. That's how it felt to me. This makes me different than everybody else. Which you liked or didn't like? I did not like. You did not like. Yeah, I was very embarrassed.

I really wanted to just be like everybody else. I was even, for a time as a young person, very self-conscious to be named Phineas because nobody was named Phineas and it wasn't on a key chain at the Jurassic Park ride. And I wanted to be named Jack. There's a weird invisibility thing as a child of I just want to be camouflaged

to all these other people my age. You don't want anyone to have any reason. Yeah, and kids are so unfiltered and entertainingly so, but kids will be like, that's a weird name. Why are you so afraid of the sleepover? Why do you have separation anxiety? Yeah, why are you a nerd? Just weird little things like I'm left-handed.

Or you feel like stupidly ostracized. Even in LA, I'm kind of surprised. It's just collective. Nobody's doing it. It's just that your two best friends aren't. As a child, I don't know if either of you related to this, I just wanted braces. My friends had braces and I was like,

I want to have braces like my friends. You just want to be like everybody. Yeah. I kind of wanted glasses. I wanted glasses too. Yeah, I kinda wanted glasses. I wanted glasses too. Yeah, I was running around with good teeth and 20-20 vision, just devastated. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah want short legs. And she was like, what are you talking about? Everyone wants long legs.

And that was the end of that conversation. But it's that, it's like, you just wanna blend. Glasses to me is like, hey, you've got space work. Like you've always got something to do. And then you're also hiding a bit. You're behind something. That's so fun. And you get to pick what they look like.

Immediate customization. Personality out loud. You get to wear different ones and you. Immediate customization. Personality out loud. You get to wear different ones and you feel differently that day. It's pretty awesome. Yeah. I actually do have a bad eye now. I just have a stigmatism in my eye. So I have some glasses and it really scratches an itch.

I really like it. Yeah. I got them too. Cause I'm old. My near sightedness is gone. Oh, you have like a little shade on them too. I don't like the shade. This was regrettable, but I have the exact same pair upstairs in my bedroom

without the shade and I really, really like them. Those look cool. You look like Robert Denny Jr. now. Oh my God. That was really nice. Thank you. Oh, that was wonderful. What part of LA did you grow up in?

I grew up in Highland Park, which I loved. It's wonderful. It's changed so much since you were a kid there, right? We definitely only lived there because we couldn't afford to live anywhere else. I didn't ever feel like I could walk around as a young child. There were a ton of gangs there. We really heard gunfire right outside our house a couple times.

But I was there the other day and I was like, oh my God, Silver just bled through this neighborhood. Retro bowling alleys and farm to table restaurants. And like, Le Labo. You know what I mean? It really got super gentrified. Did you ever fantasize about living somewhere other than LA? Because I'm always confused, because everyone else in the rest of the country,

we're all watching TV, and we're like, well, we gotta get there. That's where everything's happening. I think when you grow up here, especially growing up on the East Side, the kids I knew lived in Pasadena, Burbank, and Eagle Rock. I didn't feel like I was walking around a Hollywood Boulevard, and I still don't.

I grew up in neighborhoods where we rode bikes and stuff. I really loved it. We started touring when I turned 18. I've really enjoyed going to places and I've subsequently found places like Australia where I've been like, I love it here. I could totally spend five years here. Is it Melbourne you love? Melbourne's amazing. Young people I know are all going to Melbourne. It's Brooklyn of Australia. The neighborhoods outside of Sydney are amazing. There's a city called Brisbane. They call it BrisVegas, which is a real Australian tell

from a bunch of people who've never been to Las Vegas because it's way better than Las Vegas. Oh, it is. It's super fun. It's gambling though? There is probably a portion of that. I've never done it there, but it's just kind of a nightlife place.

Anyway, the Australian listeners are gonna be like, what the fuck is he talking about? But I've really loved being there. Do you fantasize about getting a second house somewhere? nightlife place. Anyway, the Australian listeners are gonna be like, what the fuck is he talking about? But I've really loved being there. Do you fantasize about getting a second house somewhere? I had a place on the beach for a while in LA, that's here obviously, but that was a weird sort of- Impulse buy?

Yes, classic paradigm. It was COVID and the beach was suddenly illegal. And I was like, well, I could just buy a place on the beach and then go to the beach, which is pretty crazy. Oh, you don't like authority. I can feel it. No, this is true. Yeah, it's coming out. I wore a mask. You followed the rules.

He wore a mask in his car. Forgetting, Monica, that my disdain for following rules is met only with my fear of everything. My separation anxiety. That's right. It's a good combo. Phobias. You're kind of authorizing yourself. That's true. I'm very restricted by my own design.

Anyway, the reason I bring this beach house up as a debacle is I don't even really like the beach. Yeah, it's terrible. Especially the California beach. Yeah, I just sort of thought I would suddenly become a very different person than I am. I was like, I'm going to walk around barefoot and gaze meditatively at the ocean.

And that's never a thing I've wanted to do ever. Yeah, work out with Laird Hamilton in his poolitatively at the ocean and that's never a thing I've wanted to do ever. Yeah, work out with Laird Hamilton in his pool maybe. Yes, he's kind of ubiquitous up there. I never met him, but a bunch of my friends were like, we're gonna go kick it with Laird. Yeah, we're gonna work out in his pool. Down at the bottom with the weights.

Yeah. I saw like a thing online the other day, a beautiful window overlooking Lake Como or something. And somebody commented, I would love to look at my phone there, which is very much like my unfortunate brand. I'm so much older than you, so I have much more experience with this, but it sounds like you've already dipped your toe in the water, which is I'm very romantic.

I live in fantasy, so I've done things. And then I get there and I go, oh yeah, it's just still real life. I'm still me here. How about that? Exactly. Wherever you go, there yeah, it's just still real life. I'm still me here, how about that? Exactly, exactly. Wherever you go, there you are. Brought myself here. That's right, I was hoping to leave him behind,

but here he is. I sold the Beach House. Was, I was just gonna ask. Pretty quickly. How long did this last? I had it for under two years. I'm a little bit of like a doomsday prepper, so I had a kind of a like, this is gonna be washed away.

That's my whole thought about Malibu. I sort of had a feeling of like, I have to sell this to somebody before in the next 10 years, there's going to be some point where everybody goes, we can't buy this. And also people find it so relaxing to be on that water. And I'm like that churning mass of water is just eating the shore. I was on a wet dry beach, which is tide comes in and you have no beach.

Tide goes out, you have a beach. Our staircase would just get exploded. The waves just go like, blow it up, and the windows would get destroyed. It was- It's under attack. Yes, it's like always having construction done. It was a dumb idea of mine. Okay, so what were your hobbies before at 12

you go with mom to a songwriting class? I really love drawing. I'm gonna stop. You're a sweet boy, I like you so much. You also read so much older than you are, it's crazy. Well, you've just been around for a long time, I think that's why. But I feel like we're peers and we're not.

I'm 22 years older. You're peers. 22 years. If I go back, we were dating, people would be talking about it. Like Dax, they'd be talking about our seeks, man. I hope we get on that Malibu beach at your house. Pause the footage and then go,

look at those traps on those guys. These guys are really going for it. A couple guys would be having that conversation. look at those traps on those guys. These guys are really going for it. A couple guys would be having that conversation. Look at this. Who's spotting, who's lifting? Wait, we should talk real quick before we get too much further in. Your mom taught at the groundlings.

I sadly never had her as a teacher. Missed by whatever amount of years. Our friend Jess was in your mom's class. Melissa McCarthy. Yeah, that was so funny at the, was it SAG? She was like, I already met you in utero. Isn't that cute? My little sidebar about Melissa McCarthy,

because I just was talking to her the other night. She's a big successful actress and is a movie star and our mom did not become a movie star, but we would see her in like skits of groundlings. I always had like a weird empathy crisis as a kid watching our mom play a pathetic character. Does that make sense at all? Yeah, it would hurt your feelings. Watching my mom play a buffoon and be made fun of by the other characters in the

skit. And I said to Melissa the other night, I was like, were your kids cool with Billy drawing all over your face the other night? Just out of a kind of curiosity, because her kids are very young. And was like I think I might have felt super weird about that it's really funny but Billy like grabs her by the face and draws all over her face. Oh wow. She signs her name. Melissa says can you sign my dress and Billy says no I don't want to ruin the dress she goes can you sign my face Billy goes sure and signs all over her face. It's very funny. And Melissa kills. That was that sign? Yes. Okay. But I only brought up because I was like,

do your kids care when Ariel kills you? You know what I mean? Right. Like the little mermaid. And she basically said no. So it was just kind of a me issue. But do your kids have that at all? Well, my wife was in a movie,

I forget the name of it, but she played a dork, Marnie, and she had braces and really bad skin and she always pushed her glasses on like this. And then it was one of these stories where she kind of got hot as she got older. Cute. Do you remember the name of that one, Marnie and she had braces and really bad skin and she always pushed her glasses on like this and then it was one of These stories where she kind of got hot as she got older cute You again you again. Yep you again. So they watched that and they were so tender with her that right? It was so cute. They were like mom

Cuz you're seeing vulnerability in a way that you don't typically see from your folks, right? You think your parents know everything there when you watch your mom or your dad have a conversation with one of their friends They're equals right you're watching them being very sort of meek and pathetic in this thing It's a weird being picked on and teased. Yes, exactly I was delighted because I was like that's how I felt when she would do that character like oh, sweetie Yeah, yes, right for sure. I would feel that way about my partner Claudia also. But it's so funny, obviously, because you never for a minute,

and Kristin never for a minute, I would imagine, feels that way shooting it. You're like killing the performance and love it. She also never experienced that. She never looked like that. Or she was always perfect. But I'm saying in the scene, it's not like she's having a identity crisis on set.

She's like, I'm killing this character. Yeah, she's not feeling tormented. She knows this is comedic. She's hoping she's doing a good enough job playing a loser. Yeah. Yeah. Am I enough of a loser? Yeah, the loser-er-er, the better. So did you go to a lot of shows at the Groundlings as a kid?

We went to some, so I was raised on going to the Groundlings as a little kid and then driving around with my dad, listening to Stern. Oh, no kidding. I'm a very talkative person, and my parents have always been very willing to answer my questions. I can't clock the age,

but there came a time where I started asking about the context of Stern, where I think my parents were like, oh, okay. You're right, because there is a very pivotal point where most stuff's going over your kid's head. Yes, exactly. And then they start getting wise to it. And you go tell your friend, you go like,

I was listening to the Howard Stern show. Yeah. And there was a woman on the Sibian. So there's this machine that will have sex with the woman and she screams. Yeah. Hey, do you know what butt chugging is? Just like really violent sounding stuff. I'm very grateful to it, but I do understand them.

They weren't always willing to answer questions, but I think they were like, he shouldn't even have these questions. I couldn't relate more. I'll answer anything they ask me, so it's just easier if we're not there yet. I was also in the unregulated internet period of time as a child. You were seeing it all.

Yeah, by the time you're 12, you're seeing horrors beyond comprehension. Murder scenes almost. So crazy. Yes, did you have any aspirations to be in the groundlings or to act? I mean, I know you ended up acting. Yeah, I like to act.

I got an agent when I was 12 and started doing auditions. I loved acting. I did the homeschool version of like a school play when I was about 12 and that made me interested in it. Why did your parents homeschool? I think I was like a pretty weird child with a bunch of separation anxiety, even by the time I was like four.

They didn't have any money to send me to a crunchy private school. So it was like whatever close by I could go to. And they were actors that never worked. So they were like, we can homeschool them. And you're appreciative of that? Yeah, it worked great for me. I mean, I turned out to have a lot of self-motivation,

even as a young kid of like, I'm gonna go take these crayons to my room and draw for five hours. In LA, there's all these kind of networks via like email and whatever. If parents that are homeschooling, you might all go do some class or some sort of extracurricular thing together. Or meet at the park for some exercise.

Exactly. I only bring that up because there are kids for whom homeschooling worked out great, and then there are other kids for whom homeschooling was like, not the answer. Kids who are self-proclaimedly need outside sort of, Hey, you got to do this thing and don't have a lot of motivation. I've seen more of that version, I hate to say. There's more of those people.

That's a good point. So by 14, you were on Bad Teacher. That movie's great. It's really funny. What did you do in it? I was just one of the students, which was cool, because it was just tons of kids my age. I had, as you do as a child actor, like two lines,

but one of them, there's a scene where she's teaching the kids by quizzing them, and you do as a child actor, like two lines, but one of them, there's a scene where she's teaching the kids by quizzing them and if they get a question wrong, she throws a dodge ball at them. And I got a question right and got to throw a dodge ball at her. That was how the scene worked. Oh, what a win. That was a thrill.

Yes, you're dying to throw a dodge ball at somebody. I had such an appreciation and a fun time being in such a professional environment. Even though actors are a fun bunch and they're joking around, it's like quiet and everybody shuts up. And I liked the five AM call times and stuff like that. It just made me feel cool.

You can't really get there unless you're pretty goal oriented. So despite the funness of it, you gotta be on top of it to end up there. At the SAG Awards, for example, we were seated next to Ariana Greenblatt, who's the actress in Barbie. Oh, oh, oh.

At this point in time, maybe 16 or 17. She's super young. And I ended up talking to her mom for most of the dinner. It's not a joke, but I was just sort of making the joke to her of like, I'm very pro child labor. Like all that kind of didn't have a childhood. Fair enough.

But actually you're afforded so little independence as a person between 12 and 18. There's so much that's out of your control anyway. You might as well go do something with some discipline make some money. I think it's a really interesting experience I did bad teacher as I simultaneously joined a basketball league I can't repeat on this podcast the things I was called in the basketball league It was an interesting juxtaposition in my life of being really valued and being really good at something not Basketball being really good at something, not basketball, being really good at acting. And then also being my team's handicap. Our team won the championship of the league

and I was like, I'm the reason it was close for them. Right, because they had to play you for us. You made it interesting for us. Exactly. You were the person when they put you in the whole team where it was like, don't give him a ball. 100%.

But what a great experience, and you know early, I think I should maybe lean this way. Yeah, it was also just a good illustrator of, kids can also be really mean. When you're on set, you might have kind of a like, not only do the other kids on the set think I'm cool, Justin Timberlake is high-fiving me, and then you're playing with other kids

at a basketball league, and they're just hate talking to you. There's not a lot of places you get rewarded for being emotional and creative and artistic as a little boy. And so this is one of the places you can't. So I'm, I'm for it. Stay tuned for more armchair expert. If you dare. Okay.

So now 12 years old, you go to a music writing class. My mom has always written songs. She never made a penny off of it, but she's always done it. I don't actually fully know the origin of that in her life. I don't know what switch flipped for her that made her start writing songs. I should have asked her before this interview. That was kind of always in our house. She was sitting down at the piano and singing stuff.

And I was like, what is it? And she was like, I'm writing it. So that was real. always in our house. She was sitting down at the piano and singing stuff, and I was like, what is it? She's like, I'm writing it. So that was real. People write new stuff, and our dad doesn't write at all, but he's a pretty good pianist, and he would sit around and plunk out Beatles songs or play pieces he liked.

When I was 12, I started singing in this choir, and I immediately was very smitten with this girl in the choir who was 13. I might've even been 11. It was never going to happen, but I was hopeful. And I had this fantasy that I would be in the choir rehearsal room before anyone else got there, playing a tune wistfully. Yes.

And that she'd come in and it would win her over. This was really concocted. I know it well. Yeah, I do too. And the only thing in my way was I had to learn how to sing and play piano. Easy hurdle. Small.

And so I set about doing that and I asked my dad, like I wanna learn how to play this song. And he said, okay, there's like four chords in it. And he taught me the four chords and that took like a week to learn just sort of shapes on piano. And then I said, oh, thanks for teaching me that. I wanna learn this other song.

And he was like, this other songs, the same four chords. And that completely turned my world upside down. Like the idea that I'd learned all this stuff without trying to learn all this stuff was so thrilling. And pop music is absolutely like that. I don't know if either of you play anything, but there is such commonality in the sort of music underneath a song that if you want to play some song

by this artist, you're also learning 600,000 other songs. That is a breakthrough. You're like, they sound so fucking different. That was game changing. Did you ever orchestrate the moment where you were playing in front of her? Honestly, I kind of did, which is equally tragic that it didn't work. You know what I mean? Yeah.

To get that moment took like a year of being there early. Yeah. Like I was Dracula. I was playing every time and turning around and being like, oh Yeah. Like I was Dracula. I was in there playing every time and turning around and being like, uh-oh. And she didn't faint. No, she was, you know, smart. And then, yeah, I started singing about how I felt

and trying to make it rhyme. And my mom, to her credit, I think this is a really good strategy for teaching anything or parenting, was not sort of ever like, there's a right way or a wrong way to write songs, but she started to try to help me diagnose parts of songs. We'd listen to a song and she's like, this is a bridge.

Do you hear the rhyme scheme in this? The rhyme scheme is A, B, C, B. That sort of language became visible to me. So that made me start writing songs. And it never felt like homework. It was never made to be homework. I just wanted to write all the time. And then I coerced friends to join bands with me

and played in bands almost every day from the time I was then I coerced friends to join bands with me and played in bands almost every day from the time I was like 12 to 18. What instrument were you playing in those? I was playing like crappy guitar and singing and desperately knew, dude, this is crazy. I'm kind of remembering this now. When I did the movie Bad Teacher at 12,

this is so naive and crazy. I was like, I'm worried this is gonna get in the way of my career of being a musician. I remember referencing Keanu Reeves. Sure. I remember being like, nobody takes his band seriously. Yes. So funny.

By the way, I had the exact same completely foolish proposition where I was down on one of these car shows, and I had set a record on this certain track in a car. And someone from Mobile One was talking to me, and I always want to be a race car driver. And I had just got into the fourth level of the ground lanes. The guy was like, you should move down to Georgia and give this a shot. And I remember arrogantly thinking like,

well, you can go from actor to race car driver, you can't go from race car driver to actor. Totally, no one wants you to audition. Dax Shepard, the race car driver. Right, right. Lewis Hamilton's not gonna be like in comedies at any point. I would not rule that out. He's so talented he might be, but it would still,

to your point, everybody would say this phrase, he's actually good, just from the stigma. Whereas car racing is quantifiable, you're either fast or you're not. There's really no bullshit. Even when Timberlake started acting, which was hilarious because he'd grown up on the Disney Channel, he started acting.

Everyone was like, he should go back to making albums. Everyone was so mean about it, and he's a very good actor. He was great in the social network. Yes, and minimally, he's one of the best Saturday Night Live hosts. He was super funny and bad teacher. He's very talented and consummate, but it's really just a prejudice

against everybody thinking they can then go act. Yes, okay, so that kind of answers my follow-up question, which is like, was music the priority? And it sounds like it was. Yes, to a crazy sort of psychopathic, the only thing I care about, the only thing I'm focused on degree. Hours and hours a day of?

Hours a day and just really certain that that's what I wanted to do with my life from a super young age. I was like 14 thinking that I could be in a band that was big at 14. Me and my friends and all our parents, what, on the road? It'd be horrible.

Obviously I saw the documentary and I loved it. And your parents seemed so fucking dreamy. They're pretty awesome. Yeah, I can't imagine they just were edited well. They seem really special. That's totally the way they are. Having a documentary made about your family is such a weird experience.

I don't know if I've actually seen the final. I saw whatever the first cut they showed us was because they demanded we see it. And I was like, well, that's enough for me. I don't ever need to see that again. Yeah. But even in that first cut, I was very happy about how well they documented our folks.

It was an incredible documentary. It was beautiful. We became obsessed. I was up to lunch on all of it. And then I saw that documentary. It was beautiful, we became obsessed. I was out to lunch on all of it and then I saw that and I was just like, oh my God. And you in particular, we could go back and there are episodes of this show where we talked endlessly about this.

I don't even listen to the show enough. Well, I would have been around the circle of when that came out. We were kind of obsessed with it. We talked about it a lot. And I was so blown away with you. Obviously your sister is so wonderful in all these ways, but I was like, this boy has a love and patience and a kindness. You're what four years older?

Yeah. As unique as your parents are to you guys, you as an older brother is really aspirational. I have a little sister. I like to think I'm pretty damn nice to her, but like sitting in a room with her and helping her get to some place and get her feelings out and articulate her emotions, I certainly didn't do that.

Working together on its own and sharing that sort of spotlight is hard for any two people, let alone siblings. I cannot imagine. I mean, you're almost saved by the age gap in some ways. But if you were a year and a half apart, it would be a lot trickier. Maybe there's also a gendered thing.

I'm not seeing as much of myself in a younger brother or an older brother. Maybe there's just kind of a difference of, she's a woman and I'm not, and I feel inherently different than that person. Right, like you have your own lanes just by birth designation. Yeah, I don't know.

I've felt more competitive with my male friends than my women friends in my life. It's why we clock other dude's bodies. Like I'm not measuring myself against Sydney Sweeney's body. I'm measuring myself against Kumail's. I'm losing both battles. You lose big time to Sydney Sweeney. Yes, I'm just saying it's not even on my radar

because I'm not trying to turn heads. Yeah, I mean, I really love her, Billy. Sydney Sweeney is great too. Yeah, but you have a very strange order of events which is you have written Ocean Eyes for your own band. Yeah, a couple things happen. I get Logic Pro, the DAW, which is same as Pro Tools or Ableton or something,

a software on my computer to record. Start teaching myself how to do it. Go on YouTube to learn. Pretty much everything on YouTube is dudes in churches who make worship music. They're like, let me show you how to comp a vocal. Awesome, but it is kind of a funny lens to learn all this stuff.

You learn this whole tutorial on drums and then he's like, all right, now I'm gonna play my song. And it's like, I am a shell. It's all like the most religious stuff. You're like, oh, I have to try to not accidentally get indoctrinated. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I learned how to do this stuff. The motivation is I'm in this band in high school

and we don't have any money so we can't record anywhere. And I'm like, I'll just start recording us. And I kind of like DIY records. The Strokes is a band I've always loved. They make some albums that sound pretty raw and unpolished. And that sounds much more achievable than like a Green Day record or something where it's clear that they're in the nicest studio with the best people working on it.

And there's this kind of lo-fi thing that I'm like, that's cool. I'm not good enough to make the hi-fi thing, but I could maybe make this. So I start teaching myself how to produce. This is kind of also at the same time, the music that I grew up caring about and listening to, which is like drums and guitar and bass is being fused in a cool way with like really cool electronic stuff. Who are some of those bands you would say? One of the bands I have to give props to when I was like, whatever, 17, was like there's a band 21 Pilots and they're guitar and drums and piano, but there's all this really cool

production underneath it. And even more than I liked their songs, this is an element of production that I'm very fascinated by. Billie has always loved like hip hop and I grew up listening to a lot of that with her and that is its own really cool chapter of production. Everything Dr. Dre has ever done is like as a producer so incredible. I love Timbaland, I love Pharrell, J Della. J Della is amazing.

I came to him later but yeah Dre and Pharrell and Timbaland were just blowing me away with the sounds of their drums and their synths. So catchy. So I just sort of started trying to experiment with stuff like that. I have one friend, Frank Dana, who's popular at his school, huge currency at 17, and it's like, Hey, you produce, right? And you're like, well, not really. And he's like, that's fine.

Let's do some stuff. What a huge vote of confidence. And the real truth is like neither of us were good at making music at all, but I suddenly was making stuff with him and we're putting it on SoundCloud and his friends are listening to it and telling me I did a good job at producing it.

And I'm feeling so cool, I sort of say to Billy at some point in the summer of 2015, I'm like, do you wanna sing on some stuff? I'll write some stuff for you and you can sing on it. Had she been singing around the house? She's got a great voice. She's singing in a choir. She loves to sing.

Can I just add really quick, what's really funny is when you're young, just necessity drives so much shit. It's like this dude's gotta take what he can get. He finds out you kind of produced that good enough. It's not like he's paying. Yeah, right. And then you live with someone who sings,

so it's like, let's get you on this, right? It's just all kind of necessity. 100%. So she starts singing, she's 13, so she's just now at the age where she can maybe even tolerate me saying, do another take of that verse, a little more angry or whatever. Right, right. And so we start recording, and it's fun.

And I've still got this band. And the band is in sort of first stage of crisis. The other guys had finished high school. I was homeschooled, and I was like, I'm going to die for this, like just at 17. And our drummer, my friend David, who now is also a successful great music producer, which is awesome, is in the same boat I am.

He's like, I'm gonna not go to college, like I'm gonna make music. And the other two guys are like, okay, we're gonna go to college. You know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. College seems pretty cool. Our band sucks.

I got into Florida State. We were not like Green Day. We were not making Dookie at 18. We were making like terrible music. And I write the song Ocean Eyes that I think is like, I appreciate myself sitting there, but it doesn't feel like something for my band. There's a kind of a femininity to it, to me.

I hear it and I think I'd rather hear a girl's voice sing this. Was the band, is the adjective melancholy? No, the band was like a stupid pop band. I write this kind of sad ballad song. There's not even a place for guitar on this. Was the band, is the adjective melancholy? No, the band was like a stupid pop band. I write this kind of sad ballad song. There's not even a place for guitar on this. How am I gonna break the news to our guitarist? And so I say to Billy, do you have any interest in singing the song I wrote?

And she sang it and I thought it sounded beautiful and we recorded it and we put it on SoundCloud. The thing that I'd heard about happening that always seemed like bullshit, which was you put it online and it gets plays, straight up happened. Like we put it on SoundCloud, and the next day it was on a blog, and then the next day it was on more blog,

and it just started to percolate. We were not on Ellen the next day. It was not viral, but it was happening. It was like a thousand plays. Thousands of people were listening to something you made in your bedroom. And we were getting meetings with people because they liked it.

So that was the genesis of it. When you heard it, because when I was young and I would do something, I was just so proud I had executed that I elevated everything I did. Like I would shoot shorts for the Groundlings that I'm like, this motherfucker might be in the Academy Awards.

I was just so delighted I was accomplishing something I set out to. Ocean Eyes is an absolutely once in every couple years song. If I had made it, if I were you, I'd have been like, I think I made the best song of all time. Cause it really is one of the greatest songs ever. You made it at such a young age. I would just be like, I can't believe this thing.

And you're like, I did this kind of by accident. What if I really try to do something? So funny. Yeah, to some degree, I've had this many times in my life. We just had it with Barbie too, and I will get to that But I did also get to see with my own eyes the difference between me and my crappy band singing this song and My sister with her beautiful voice singing this song and how night and day it was this is special Yeah, this is fine. And then this is really important to me

And the Barbie comparison is we put the song out a week before the movie came out, and people really liked it, and I got a lot of messages, like this is a beautiful song. But when you went and saw the film, and then the song meant everything, the film meant to you, and you have the sense memory of it. You inherited all of the emotion

that the film accomplished. Yeah, I mean it was like every great piece of music from every movie. You see the font in your font. I had the most Extreme version of this with that specific movie, which is my girls had seen it before I did so the next day They were listening to the soundtrack. We're driving around in the car and they want to hear the I am Ken song, of course Which is so fun. Yes, but if you've not seen the movie, it's a really trashy rock song I would always be like I want to skip this one

This is like a fight in our car. I've now seen the movie four times. This song is outrageously good. But yeah, that's how much I needed the movie. Yours is on its own so fantastic. Thank you, it means a lot. But you're right. But I just mean that in terms of people's relationship with it, in terms of how they connect with it,

it's one of the new songs that artists have put out this week, Enjoy, and they're listening to that with whatever the new Peso Pluma song is and the new Post Malone song, and they're just sort of like, here's new music, versus the movie I saw yesterday that I laughed and I cried through and then I go home and listen to that. Yeah, Suddenly You Love It.

Also, here is a song that is now the symbol of the experience of women under a patriarchy. Yeah. Yeah, it becomes. Now this song is like, fucking like historic. I have to pee so bad. No, no you have to. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll step right out.

I'm proud of you for saying you had to and not just suffering through it. Well, you can go next. I'm done. Back in it. Is this brand new? Like is this like, we just got that done. Yeah.

Yeah. What's great is you can only be as tall as me. Maximum height. If you were like, if you were six inches tall, you'd hang yourself. I'll tell you. Six, two and a half ish. Taller than most.

I don't think I'm tall. Like of course I don't feel tall. And then I see pictures and I go, oh my God, you're too tall. Also when you go to a concert or something where everybody's standing, you're looking over everybody. Yes, but you know, because it's the only way I've seen things, I don't remember it.

Other than I get self-conscious like the poor person behind me, I slouch in chairs at premieres and I make myself small. Try to be conscientious. How tall are you, Monica? Five feet and a half inch. Do you feel short? I don't.

Great. Do you think I look it? Looking at both of you with my same two eyes? We're a bad pairing. Take him away from the scenario. That's the problem. If you just see me in the world. When you see me walking.

You look like a iPod Nano looking at the two of you right now. I'm not saying that you would as a person. I mean, when I see you about the neighborhood, I think, man, Monica's got those long legs that she wishes she didn't have, and she's getting away from me. For one year I had long legs.

I can't catch up to her. I should've, damn it, I really should've enjoyed it while I had it. I see you around the neighborhood, I think she's five feet, but she's moving nightmarishly quickly. I can't, she doesn't even make sense. I know, she's a legs of a six footer.

Fast. I think I read taller than I am. I've been told that. But so often people meet us together. Yeah, that's a problem. And it's really funny. And you're on the slightly tall end of the spectrum and you're on the slightly shorter end of the spectrum.

The common comment is like, wow, you're taller than I thought and you're shorter than I thought. People love to say stupid shit. Right. For me, it generally goes well. It's like a reverse burn. This even happened, I was fucking presenting

on an award show and I was paired with, who is that Australian actress, singer maybe? Very, very popular. And then in the middle of her presenting, she turned and she goes, wow, you're so much better looking in real life. She just said it out loud on the show. I think that would make me feel really good.

Did it make you feel good? It did, but you know, the mind. It's kind of an insult. It's kind of an insult. It's like, I've been thinking you look bad. I thought you were ugly for years. I thought you were not bad looking, yeah. And it's all where your own self-esteem is on that given day.

So that day I was like, oh, that's nice. Better that than I look worse in real life. I'd prefer to look good in real life than on movies. Sure. Right, if I had to pick. Okay, so. Wait, real quick, I know we're in the middle of something, but now we're on this and I do think it's interesting

because you bring this up a lot, that when people comment on the two of you. Me and Billy. Yes, and as people comment on us a lot, as a duo. We had an argument. You're a duo. Whenever you're a duo, the comments are often, they can be at the expense of the other person

or in relation to. Dax really hates that, even though you did just do it in the thing we're cutting out. Yeah, yeah yeah but I feel solid about that one. But everyone feels solid. Yes it happens a lot when they write an article about Monica the inclination is to go like... I mean you hear as they're saying it's despite you or something that I'm good but... It's tricky. It's tricky but they're also trying to elevate me because I'm not the main focus. Instead of just saying she's great,

it tends to be like if she weren't there or she keeps him from blank, or the way they wanna compliment her is somehow always at least feels disparaging to me, whether it is or not. Does it bother you? It only bothered me when one of our friends, they were asked to quote, and we're friends,

and I was like, well, that was a weird way to phrase it. What did they say? I wish I could remember the details. Was he like, Dak sucks? And one of our friends, they were asked to quote and we're friends and I was like, well, that was a weird way to phrase it. What did they say? I wish I could remember the details. Was he like, Dak sucks and Monica's great? What did he say? He didn't, no. Thank God Monica's there because that guy is fucking sucks.

That's what he said. So brutal. First academic to say that. Oh, man. It was an argument. We got into a debate. This was a, did you hear this? Was this the end of the Wyatt, Kurt Russell episode?

I think it was. Probably. Could have been. It was that Monica had been watching. The Globes, right? Yes. I heard this because I woke up to texts from my friends in New York that were like, I didn't know you were gonna be on Armchair, and I was like, oh, and I listened to it.

Oh yeah, because we kind of, we never do that, but we did it. Exciting. Okay, so then you're familiar with the debate. I remember it, should we talk about it? Yes, let's talk about it. I remember both of your points. This is the day after the Globes or something.

Monica's point, which was very kind, was Phineas stands there like a potted plant as they ask Billy a bunch of questions, and then they go, bye guys. Wouldn't it be nice if they asked him a question? Yeah. Dax's point was, who cares? It's a little interview before the Golden Globes,

and she's wearing a cool outfit, and he's wearing a suit, and he's the millionth person that night in the suit, and it's not a representation of who's more important. It's a representation of the audience and the interview. A red carpet, like the conceit of a red carpet, which is let's get the most popular person here to talk about their outfit. Also, I'm gonna throw this in there.

Red carpets fucking suck. Yes, yes. The interviews are awful. They're so uncomfortable. The idea that I get to stand there and not have to say anything is a thrill. You like it. Well, yeah.

And there are great interviews. I don't want to be disparaging of all interviews. I just mean the format and the environment. If you watch an interview, you can see they shift the mic over to me and Billy relaxes and gets to not suddenly be nervous and have to come up with an answer to the question we've been asked 450 times in the last two months.

It's brutal. The closest analogy I can imagine is, you know when the prisoners escape from jail and they shine that enormous light on the person's face. Cause Krista and I do a ton of interviews together too, right? When you get the sense that they're actually going and then the interviewer goes like,

you guys haven't been out in public and all of a sudden you just feel like, oh fuck, that big old light is shining on me and I hope it's shining on her. I need a minute to think about this question. The best case scenario is that you're boring. And the worst case scenario is you say something and they never invite you to anything ever again.

It's like very high stakes. Yes. That's true. And then the point I'll add too, and you're here to answer this, which I appreciate, is I was also making the point that there has to be some expectations on your end. Like who you're trying to be, and my guess, is that you're trying to be Quincy Jones.

You said it, Timbaland, Pharrell. I'm imagining that the space you want to occupy, you also recognize Quincy Jones was behind the Michael Jackson, but Quincy Jones is the genius that is in all these other things. I can't imagine as you endeavor into the job you have that you're expecting to be all that popular. Does that make any sense? I think that everybody in every avenue of their life is hoping to be seen for

their work, right? If you do something, if you build your kids a playhouse and they go in and they go, well, whoever built this did a great job. And you go, I built it. Yeah, exactly. Whoever's right here. You know what I mean? Like you want recognition.

I feel very seen. I feel very lucky. You know what I mean? Yeah. You want recognition. You want recognition. I feel very seen. I feel very lucky about how much recognition I already have. Most producers and songwriters have less than I do. I'm aware of that and I don't take that for granted. And being as famous as Billie is a nightmare. I would never want that. She wears it really well and she is actually a rock star.

I say that like as a person. Like she is a charismatic enigma. The air gets crackly in the room when she walks in. And it's cool to see that. I don't feel that way when we're in my basement making a song, but like I see it at a function. And I don't wanna have that and I don't pretend to have it. And the consequence of that is she can't do anything.

It's a heavy price to pay. She can't really walk around. I often try to sort of like, well well surely we can go to this little sandwich shop at this time of day because nobody will be in there and it'll be fine. And we go in there and it's kind of a disaster. The people making the sandwich are so weird and then take their aprons off and want a photo and there's kids over at the table just filming us. There is an echelon of fame that's many many many rungs higher than I am that's untenable.

And also she's a woman. And I think that people interact with women differently in the public eye. They're not intimidated by them in the way that they should be and in the way that they are respectful toward men. They have no compunctions about putting a phone in Billy's face and being like, this is my sister on FaceTime. I know that it's all a privilege and we're all lucky, but it's fucking rude. I don't actually feel bad about saying that because everybody's so checked out of common courtesy and you wouldn't do any of this stuff to like your friend or a person that was your friend's friend. It's just absolutely rude.

You know what I love that's happening right now? Sure. I see it too. What? I love it. She's your sister, you're protective of your sister. And by the way, like I don't fight with people on the internet, like they'll say shit about me like I don't fight with people on the internet. Like they'll say shit about me.

I don't ever engage. When someone says something about Kristen, it's fucking on. And I won't complain about being famous, but on her behalf, I will do it. But what you're saying, and I think my sister, I'll kill everyone in this fucking town if they call her a name, but there's a claustrophobia. I've been around certain people or it's too much. Everyone there can't not think about them. That feels very constricting to me and scary.

Yeah, it's crazy. I mean, and again, I get it. Everybody has people like that. And LA is a city like that. Whether you know them or not, whether you're in the industry or not, you will see some person who was very important to you for a period of your life at a diner.

You'll be like, holy shit, that person who's so important to me is in this elevator. And it's hard not to be weird, but it's super claustrophobic. I've had a couple instances of experiencing it on my own and I freaked out. The examples I'll give are like we were on tour a couple years ago and we were playing in Seattle

and I went and had lunch with a friend in Capitol Hill, which is like a cool neighborhood. That's not a great spot for you. We'd just done it to ourselves because we were playing a show, which meant that everyone was in town in that neighborhood to see our show, which meant they knew who I was. And it was the one day a year

where I have the feeling of like, I can't really go anywhere and I'm getting chased. And it's so awful. It's just a little bit scary on a very primitive level. You feel a little hunted. Yeah, you like walk into polls and shit. You're totally clustered in disorder and fight. Absolutely. Yeah, but I guess back to the thing about- So totally clustered and disoriented. Dissoried and fight. Absolutely.

Yeah, but I guess back to the thing about- So who's right? Well, I think that both of you are basically practicing empathy and you're both talking about the same thing, which is you're recognizing the Robin Andy Richter of The Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard. When we got to that.

Yeah, oh yeah. And you probably know implicitly how it feels to be the person always there, always participating in the thing who's not the masthead. Yes, exactly. And you're offering a version that you've experienced in Parallels, which is that you date Kristin, and you have these other versions of it where you're like,

I've also been the person standing there and holding the microphone for the person talking. Monica will tell you, 80% of the people that come up to me in real life to say hi, that they know me, they're there to say that they like my wife. They don't say they like me. They come up and they go, oh my God, I love your wife. And I go, me too.

It took me 10 years to figure out what to say to that. How do you feel about people coming up to you with their friend and making sure you know that they don't know who you are? Oh, I love that. My girlfriend wanted to say hi, I guess she likes you. I don't even know who you are. Yes, they're very proud of that.

Luke Wilson was the one who first introduced me to this concept, we were doing Idiocracy together and he was saying, yeah, my favorite thing is, I'm at a bar and all of a sudden some guy comes up to me, he's like, I don't know who the fuck you are, but apparently everyone in here thinks you're hot shit. What do you think you're gonna do? Like, think they're so sick?

What the fuck is going on? I took Claudia to Paris one time and we were by the Eiffel Tower. At night in the summer, the Eiffel Tower does this like glittery thing. Yeah, yeah. So we were waiting for that to happen. And it was very sweet.

This girl comes up and she's like sobbing and she's with another friend who looks shocked. And then this third very confident kind of smirking friend who was like, you're going crazy. I don't even know who you are. And this girl's like trembling. I'm just kind of calming her down. And I'm like, it's all I don't even know who you are. This girl's like, trembling. I'm just kind of calming her down. And I'm like, it's all right.

We take a photo. And then the other girl who's like shocked, whatever. And the third girl who this whole time, as I'm taking these photos, this girl's like, who are you? I don't even know, who cares? And finally she goes, can I have a picture? Right, of course. And I went, of fucking course not.

You have no idea who I am. And I told her, I was like, you just can't do both. You can't have your cake and eat it too. She's telling me I'm unimportant and you have no idea who I am. And I told her, I was like, you just can't do both. You can't have your cake and eat it. She's telling me I'm unimportant and you don't know who I am. And also beg me for a photo. You just can't do that.

And I said to her friends, don't ever let her forget. This is like. A bad showing for her. Yeah, I was so stupid. I'm interested in this. So what has changed for me is it's been 20 some years of this. So I've chilled out and I have totally different relationship

with all of it than I had in the past. But another big element of it was I didn't feel entitled to accept the compliments I got because I was in Mike Judge's movie or I was in Jason Kadem's show. So when I would get those compliments, I couldn't really own them. This thing is the first thing.

You created, you do, it's just you and him. And if you like it, it's not that you liked a character I played, you like me. It's just you and him. And if you like it, it's not that you liked a character I played, you like me. It's totally changed my relationship with it. For the last six years, I genuinely can't wait to talk to any armcherry that stops me. I fucking love it. And so I'm wondering for you, you're in this interesting situation where it's like, it is yours, you can have full ownership, but also there is this very popular woman attached

to it, and I don't know that you can delineate in any given time. Is this a young girl who likes pop culture or is this someone who appreciates the music? They usually clue me into it. If they're like, tell your sister I love her. Right, there we go. That's great. And that's fine. Yeah. But I think we feel enough of a share in the work

that if they say I love what you make, that's awesome. I put out some music under my own name and I don't feel any better or worse about that in terms of like if somebody goes, I love your thing, I go, oh thanks. I don't have, oh that means so much more to me than saying you like Billy's thing. Because I feel like we worked on it. This really ties exactly into the red carpet thing.

It's truly just the ultimate message for every human being is like, if you feel it for yourself, none of the other stuff matters. You have to give yourself validation and self-esteem. And what is obvious to me is you've given it to yourself. So whether or not the interviewer from E! Entertainment for yourself, none of the other stuff matters. You have to give yourself validation and self-esteem. And what is obvious to me is you've given it to yourself, so whether or not the interviewer from E! Entertainment,

if that's even still an outlet, really doesn't matter. We also give it to each other. I mean, like, that's the other thing. Billy is so generous and effusive about me, to me privately or publicly to me, and I for sure feel the same way. But I think that's the other big thing is, sometimes you hear these weird like hall and oats. one of those guys just fully maligning the other guy.

Oh, they can't see in each other. I really empathize because clearly they have personal grievances, but it plays so badly. It's not great. They're my favorite band, by the way. They're so talented. It is a hard pill to swallow when one part of a group says it was really a solo project or some bullshit like that.

And you're like, how come none of your solo projects worked then? Exactly. How come that was the only magic? Well, and I think that becomes even what fuels the resentment. It's like, I am writing all these songs, I sing them all.

Let's go Hall and O's. Point of fact, Darryl Hall is the superior musician and songwriter and he couldn't do it on his own. He's probably going like, what in the fuck? I write these songs, I sing them all, John's just backup dancing now and yet I can't do it on his own, he's probably going like, what in the fuck? I write these songs, I sing them all, John's just backup dancing now, and yet I can't do it without him. It's like almost probably maddening.

What I'm picking up from that is that they don't love each other. Or they don't recognize what the other person's bringing. But my point is if you love each other, then it doesn't matter. Not so much with Billy, we really are in the soup working together, but I have creative relationships with friends

where we love each other, and we worked on three things together and there's one that I did completely alone and there's one that they did completely alone. And we just love each other and it doesn't bother me when somebody gives him credit for the thing I did or vice versa. I would love that guy to be successful.

You would want that for them. Again, that's why I'm trying to give as much empathy as I can to Hall and Oates or anybody like that is there actually isn't anything more painful than Somebody that you hate getting credit for some shit you did that is the worst It is you're right if you love them. You're like, oh, I'm happy to shine. It doesn't matter Stay tuned for more armchair expert if you dare there.

Okay. So you're getting increasingly into scoring and I'm curious about what did you have to learn as I guess the fallout was the first thing you scored. Yeah. Yeah. So what did you have to master to do that? What was different about that process? So that movie, this is a funny example of how life feels.

Megan Park, who directed a couple music videos for Billy years prior, comes to me and says, I'm making this indie movie, Jenna Ortega's gonna be in it. I get sort of told by her, this is gonna be the easiest movie you're ever gonna score. It's not very much music, I trust you, just go do it.

And because I didn't know what I was doing, I'm making it feeling all sorry for myself being like, what are they talking about? This is so hard. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course. Cause I don't know what I'm doing. Yeah. And I've now done some scoring jobs. I'm like, that was totally the easiest scoring job. She was right. She was very generous, make whatever you want. She had some feedback, but it was pretty light. We've had a lot of conversations and understanding. We did the spotting session where you sit with the director and watch the movie

and pause it every couple minutes and go like, there should be score here, what should it be? So then I did a movie like a year later. Really quick, is the most constraining thing the bizarre length of time the thing has to be? There's actually a person whose job it is to worry about that, so you make your piece of music that hopefully has beats and it goes to this, but also you're working

on it while they're still editing it. So you can't really compose a piece of music that's like, and then it starts right here because they're going to cut a couple of seconds out of it. So you make this piece that's kind of an approximation, and a person whose job title is music editor, takes your file and conforms it. I would say the hardest part is just that everything can be interpreted.

Me as a musician, I watch the movie and I feel however I feel about the scene and I make some piece of music. Whether I even love it or hate it, hopefully I love it and feel like it's perfect for it and then the director goes, I don't think this is what should be in the scene and there's not much point in arguing because it's their film and they're a filmmaker

and in all the cases of the ones I've scored there, like I wrote the script, I directed it, and I'm editing it. This song isn't right for it, or this piece of music. And I think as a music producer, as a songwriter, I would sit with you both and we'd write a song until we all felt good about it. So that sort of audition feeling of killing yourself over a piece of music for three days

and presenting it to a filmmaker and them going, I don't like it. And you go like, okay. And you shake the etch a sketch and like start over. It's crazy. A guy I work with on my scoring stuff, one time was like, it's like setting time on fire. Like that was how you describe it.

Like you've done a thing that teaches you nothing. Control, alt, delete, the whole thing. Yeah, and then the best part to me is that you watch the scene and it evokes something and you would never have made the piece of music without watching the scene. And the scene wouldn't be never have made the piece of music without watching the scene and the scene wouldn't be as good without that piece of music you made

and that handshake is so cool. And there's these famous stories, I'm sure you're now becoming aware of them, like Chinatown, right? Do you know the story about Chinatown? I don't know the Chinatown one. That was one of the most famous scores of all time but Chinatown had been directed and sat on a shelf

at Paramount for like two years. It just tested terribly. They could not get this movie to test well and work. And then, is it Gold, most famous composer, I'm forgetting his name, Gold something, he does the famous Chinatown score to it. They test it, it tests in the 90s and wins Best Picture.

Somehow that music made the entirety of that movie make sense. It's a great score. But there's so many scores like that. Lord of the Rings is a score that growing up was so evocative to me as an older adolescent. Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross scored The Social Network. That's so good.

And I love that movie. And I also had an epiphany for me as a child of like, I who can't write a full orchestra because that's not a language I speak, I can make cool synths. And how well that worked together, there are pivotal experiences of score to me. Yeah, Trent's a really great example of it.

But before him, Talking Heads. He's done some score. There's John Bryan. John Bryan is fun. there are pivotal experiences of score to me. Yeah, Trent's a really great example of it, but before him, Talking Heads. He's done some score, there's John Bryan. John Bryan is unbelievable. Those film scores, Punch, Drunk, Love. Absolutely, and you know what's funny is as I was starting to direct and as I was learning the importance of score,

John Bryan was of course the one I was most obsessed with, and I started realizing, I was like, okay, my favorite movies are Eternal Sunshine. I love that movie so much. All the Paul Thomas Anderson movies. What you start realizing is like, I think I'm obsessed with John Bryan. Totally the common thread.

I was thinking it was these directors and obviously they're great directors, but weirdly all these movies fit into the same column of me loving them emotionally. And it was actually John Bryan. Isn't that crazy? Yeah, like you would think, oh, I should go see how everything they directed.

No, I should go out and see everything John has scored. Claudia would tell you, it's the thing I remark on. We'll be watching some movie and I'll go like, man, this is great. I fucking can't stand this score. I spent last year doing this score for this series that's on Apple that Alfonso Cuarón directed. Disclaimer.

That was like going to university for a year. It was crazy. In terms of just how much I learned and the length and so outside of my comfort zone of what I know how to do as a musician. Also Alfonso Cuarón is a very intimidating director. Because he's so brilliant. He's so brilliant.

I have a funny origin story with Alfonso which was Billy and I are on tour in Milan in spring of 2018, way before she has like a mainstream thing. She has like a buzzy EP at the time. Our tour manager says, hey, Boo Cuaron is coming tonight. She's Alfonso Cuaron's daughter. And we're like, oh, that's cool.

They're getting the VIP wristband, whatever you do, which is playing the tiniest venue. There's no difference. You can't get closer. Billy's meeting everyone at the venue anyway. Boo actually is the coolest, nicest person. She's great. And you never know what that means. Maybe Boo's coming with a friend and her friends family.

So she shows up and he's there. They're kind of there before the show. And I'm like, oh my God. Back to the like, how to not be weird around a person you admire. Prisoner of Azkaban is the best Harry Potter movie and Harry Potter the franchise is so important to me. And Gravity is incredible too.

But like I just was so crazy about that. We love Claudia, but I also want you guys to get married. Oh no, we love Claudia. We love Claudia, she's gonna be around forever. Five years is a long time. There's no going back. Harry Potter, you're so crack-s in the wall. Yeah, it doesn't seem like there's any cracks.

Anyway, so I say hi to Boo and she's awesome, we have a lovely conversation. I can barely look Alphonse in the eye and I go like, prisoner of Azkaban zone, but he was like mumble something to me. And he goes, the sound at the second verse of hostage, the Billy song, where it goes,

he goes, what go like that? And I was like, what? First of all, he's a very musical guy, but he'd been listening to Billy's music with his daughter and caring about it and liking the sounds. And he was like, can I send you playlists? And we started sending each other playlists.

Oh my Lord. My great point of pride is I sent him the song, Pony Boy by the amazing gone but not forgotten DJ, Sophie. That's a crazy piece of music. I gotta add that. She was a real visionary and very inspiring, but Alfonso was like, I'm loving these pony boy songs. And he'd come to LA once a year for some meeting with Netflix and we'd have dinner.

And he was so cool. This is kind of like the origin of all my scoring. I get this call during COVID and he's like, obviously COVID is happening. Nothing's going on, but I'm going to do this thing. And I think you should score it. His justification, which totally makes sense, is he barely has score in anything. Roma has no score. Children of men barely has any score.

And he was like, so I'm not really a score guy, and you're not really a composer. That's a match made in heaven. Let's do it. And I was immediately panicked, you know what I mean? Oh my God, I'd be so scared. And so I went and scored other stuff. So I scored The Fallout,

and then I scored this movie for BJ Novak. I just did anything anyone would let me do, and learned a ton, and I'm very grateful to them, and I like those movies. But it was actually all so that I would know what to do when Alfonso then calls. You're so responsible. I know.

I would have just panicked and tried to get out of it until the day arrived. I was still totally unprepared and I have only more love for him after this process ended, but the only thing I prepared myself for was how soul crushing it is. Like I only prepared myself for the feeling of turning in a piece of music and the person you love going, it's not good.

And Alfonso to his credit is very good with his language. He uses words like I'm not connecting with this one, right? He's never like, this sucks. There's a failing on my part. Yes, exactly. I do the same thing with people whenever I'm trying to articulate where I go, I must not have explained myself well enough.

You can really put a lot of onus on yourself. Yes. Not trigger the defensiveness. Well, cause it makes it inarguable too. So that was an amazing experience. I definitely am in a little bit of a detox period. Scoring seven episodes, it was like hours and hours of score.

For about a year, there was never a day where I shouldn't be working. Didn't have homework. Yes. Never like a Saturday where I was like, nothing to do today. Oh, I like a Saturday where I was like, nothing to do today. Oh, I could actually go do 10 hours of work right now

if I wanted to. And I should definitely do three. This is the plague of a writer. Of course, there's always writing to write. Now, you've already answered my question by demonstrating it, but you have said that being an actor was helpful, that learning to play a character was really helpful

in helping the different artists you've worked with, which have been a bunch of impressive ones at this point. You're taking on their voice and even used the word vernacular, which I love, is like to make it really sound like it would be them. Where did I say all this bullshit? Being so verbose. Yeah, the exact quote.

Playing characters has helped you as a songwriter, producer, you want to- It was on the red carpet. They're vernacular, so it's- No it wasn't. It was really good and I bought it. You said sometimes you'll write a really cool lyric and the artists will go like, oh, that's really cool.

And they might even be inclined to do it, but you have to actually figure out can they wear it? And when I was watching the doc, I was like, that's what this guy's gift is beyond musically, is you're really able to get in and figure out what the person's trying to say. I feel like you can put people on pretty well. That's why I would imagine you actually be really good

at scoring because yes, you're turning over something that's their movie, but this is already what you've been doing. Their movie is their personality, just like these artists are. In the match made in heaven of me and Billy, to me, I believe anything she says. When she sings a line, she conveys it.

It's inarguable. It's such a gift. I often work with artists where I'll maybe write some lyric with them that feels clever. And they'll sing it and I'm like, that gives me the shivers. Like, I don't really like, that doesn't sound. I feel like I'm being lied to.

Sounds annoying when you say it. Yeah. Well, that's like when we had David Sedaris on on I love David Sedaris. I've read all of David Sedaris He's so special perfect. We made him a member of our seven-person Illuminati. We did Sharing his role with Bill Gates, but He said if he ever feels too precious about a line, he cuts it so disciplined so disciplined I mean, it's different than what you're saying, but sort of like sounds so good to you, but then you hear it come out of someone's mouth

and you're like, uh-oh. Yeah, it definitely proved fully true in scoring. The night that I made a piece that I go, I don't even know if this is good at all, was the night that Alfonso would be like, this is great. And the night that I was like, he's gonna love this, he would be like, this is not right. My follow-up question to that

was playing these different characters, as I was like, I is not right. My follow-up question to that was playing these different characters as I was like, I wonder if Phineas is a mimic, and then it's already happened. Oh, done some accents. Yes, he does Alfonso, he did Arnold, he did the French girl, this is not even cool. I went a little German on that by accident. No, it worked.

Mine's zig and zag, They sometimes start as Italian. I do love an impression, yeah. I'm not like, you know, Jay Farrow. I'm not doing a bunch of famous people. I do like my friend. Yes, similarly, I don't think of myself as someone who can do it, but if I hang out with somebody, I can do it.

Or if I watch a series long enough, I eventually get there. And some people also are not impressionable. Some people have such a signature crazy thing that they do. The whole Christopher Walken syndrome. Everyone can do a bad Christopher Walken because it's so unique, but not many people can do like-

Ed Helms. Exactly, Ed Helms is deeply neutral. Your life is about sound, so I'm not surprised- That I imitate people. It makes me think of Kristen. Yeah, yeah. Oh, is she a mimic? Yes, to the degree that if you watch a show with her,

anybody, or she did a movie with Drew Barrymore, if she had called somebody during that movie and talked, people would have thought it was Drew Barrymore. She can really do anybody. Her life is about sound as well, so it makes sense. Oh, here's a fun chapter of my relationship. Claudia, you know, at some point very early on, was like, oh, you just do impressions

for your own amusement all the time. And I think at one point said to me lovingly like, would it kill you to tell the story not in this accent? Oh, I can relate to Claudia. Like because I'm telling it about the guy that I met at the thing and he's from Croatia and I'm just doing the voice. And I think she was like, I get it, you can do it.

Can you just do your regular voice? I disagree with Monica and Claudia. I would love to live with you and hear all the characters. Hey, sorry. It's my greatest gift. It's the thing that I'm more proud of than anything else. But somewhere along the line, we realized that Claudia, who's a very physically funny person,

can kind of do everybody's gait. She can kind of do everybody's walk, the way they sit in a chair. And that's not really my bag. That's on your lane. But I've started sort of being like, cause she sometimes doesn't even care, but she's already noticed it.

So I'll be like, how does that person walk across the room? And she'll just kill it. Oh, interesting. Together we make one whole comedian body and mind of an impression. And she'll probably know what hand gestures people use. She rocks it, yeah. Yeah, she's very good at it.

Okay, you're finishing a new album. Billy's new album is done. You're done. Yeah. She's very good at it. Okay. You're finishing a new album. Billie's new album is done. You're done. Yeah. You finished scoring the movie. Yes. And so what do you want to do now and are you able to take breaks?

Yes. I mean, I've been sort of outside of the award season that just ended. Congratulations. Thanks. How crazy. You guys wrote that song in 30 minutes. Is that true? We wrote it really fast.

No. Billie time checked us because we recorded it. I think it was like an hour or an hour and a half, but it was very fast. But I was talking about this with somebody the other day. It is unfortunate that the songs or the anything that you work on for three months is good, but the one that happens immediately is usually like the great thing.

Yeah, well it kind of makes sense. It was meant to come out. Yeah, it's inspired. That was a wild experience. You listen to Stern a lot. I listen to so many different musicians being interviewed and 90% of these legendary songs in the canon, someone was in the shower, they stepped out,

they sat down, they wrote it in 35 seconds. I had an idea. Does that even open up your mind to like spirituality or anything? It's cause it's weird, right? It's super weird. I don't mean to be dismissive of spirituality, but I don't wanna use it as a crutch.

You don't wanna link it to that and then not be able to tap into that. Exactly. That makes sense. Kind of superstitious. Like a superstitious. Yeah, maybe a little superstitious, but I'm much calmer. I'm doing a bunch of music with some friends of mine

for maybe a solo record and some collaborative stuff in a very back to what I started making music doing, which is a bunch of people in a room playing cool stuff and making jams, which is very antithetical to the way I've had a career, which is like me and Billy in a room or me scoring people in a room playing cool stuff and making jams, which is very antithetical to the way I've had a career, which is like me and Billy in a room or me scoring alone in a room. It's all been kind of lonely.

When Billy and I are together, it's not, but there's a kind of a loneliness to producing. Yeah, and so I've been trying to be very social and collaborative for fun. How old are you in the video of you and Billy at the piano? You're playing a Frank Ocean song. You both look so young. With the long hair. You both look so young, yeah. I was like 18, 17.

Wow, it's such a sweet video. How many people say this to you? Is your mom just so proud? Oh yeah. Our mom is like a hilariously good person. I paid off her mortgage and she immediately started a nonprofit. Immediately devoted her life to service. Her nonprofit is so incredible.

Support and Feed, if you want to look it up. That's why she got these kids. Support and Feed, go to supportandfeed.org. Or whatever. It's probably an org, it might be an org, I don't know. I love an org. But it's great. One of his 44 orgs.

They're so great. And we really do feel like it's no mystery. We really are just sort of our parents' children. Yeah, but you know, Dex has two girls. No, I don't even know. They're at the Oscars singing together. If you have kids someday, you'll experience this. I desperately want to.

I feel like you really should. I hate people feeling like that. Are you a Kyle Pusher? I am. I'm not a shamer, but I'm here to say as a very selfish human being, it trumps all the other spectacular things I've got to do. I don't know if you feel this way,

but when you were 14 and you thought you were gonna be in a band that was huge, and you fantasized about this whole thing, and then you've arrived at that location, my hunch is you love it, you're grateful for it, it's very wonderful, the process is great, and additionally, you're not living in a fantasy. There's no transcended elation that accompanies that.

Or is there? The example I'd give is like playing a live show is pretty magical and the longevity of that is pretty magical. I'm not saying that you maybe are gonna play like biggest venue of your life every night forever, but if you can sustain something like that, like your podcast, whatever it is,

the ongoingness of it is fulfilling. Making albums with Billy over the years is fulfilling. I don't wanna stop doing that. But The Shine, this is a weird example. There's a billboard chart for everything. In 2019, they launched a billboard chart for songwriters. The songwriters that had the most percentage of songwriting on the most songs on the chart at the same time.

And they started a producer's chart. And the day it started, I was number one on both charts for five weeks in a row. And when you keep being number one, your brain is so dumb. You're like, I guess I'm just number one forever now. That's cool. And I had to very quickly in the middle of that be like, maybe never again.

And I never thought I would be, and here I am. I practice that all the time. I always joke that you can like not really care about who wins the award. When they're opening the envelope, your heart's beating way faster. Even if you're gonna leap to your feet and applaud for the other person who beats you.

Human nature is like, I wanna be picked. Yeah, of course. Pick me, see me. Yeah, you wanna be seen. There's also a weird thing that it does that's like, is my thing bad now? Even though you got nominated. That's the bizarre thing about the Academy Awards

is like six losers leave. By the end of the night, the room is full of losers. Mostly losers. Of the best movies. 29 winners and 190 losers. Well, the place I was going with the kids thing, and Monica's a more salient example. So I had a fantasy of owning a house as beautiful

as the one you're at. It's beautiful. Yeah, but when I pull up to it, I'm grateful for it, but it doesn't give me this feeling I thought having a house as beautiful as the one you're at. It's beautiful. Yeah, but when I pull up to it, I'm grateful for it, but it doesn't give me this feeling I thought having a house as beautiful would give me. But when I drive by Monica's across the street, every time I see it, I could almost cry. It actually gives me the feeling I was fantasizing about

for myself, but that I can't actually grasp. What do you attribute that to? Why does it matter so differently to you? I can be really happy for her, and I can be very proud of her. And maybe if I'm proud of me, I won't be ambitious anymore. I don't know what the hiccup is. You can see it objectively when it's not you. When it's you, you're like, you're in your own brain and you're chasing something

else or there's something else you need or want or trying to get. When it's separate from you, but still connected, which is what you're saying about the kids. when it's separate from you but still connected, which is what you're saying about the kids. When it's your kids who you made, I cannot imagine a better feeling in life. Do you wanna know an interesting thing just related to this that our parents have always done?

And Billy and I make fun of them for it a lot. Our parents have never ever told us good job. They've never ever told us they're proud of us, ever. Wow. Good for them, they're keeping it dangling. I love it. And their feeling is we don't want your relationship to how you feel about your accomplishment

to be like, was my parent proud of me for this? And then they didn't say they were proud of me that next time and maybe I didn't do a good enough job. Were you raised like Rye technique or this is just on their own? It's just their own thing. They might have a background in that. We did classes in nonviolent communication.

So we have a lot of like my feelings. Yeah, social, emotional learning. Yes, exactly. But for my kids, they both do plays, practically, one more than the other. And when I see the 10-year-old get on stage and take a big swing, I'm so proud in a way that I never was for myself.

It's not like I was up there going, I'm so proud of you. You were afraid of this, and now's not like I was up there going, I'm so proud of you. You were afraid of this and now you've stood up and done it. But I know these little tiny people and they were just little tiny people. So yeah, when I see them do that stuff, it is the elation I fantasized about for myself that I can't touch.

Through them I can and I love it. It sounds like that's the vehicle, seeing Monica's house, seeing your kids succeed in a thing that does bring you all this pride and self-fulfillment. Is there a thing that is internal that brings you a lot of pride and self-fulfillment? I have a weird current answer to you. Like I rock climb a lot now.

Yes. I feel fucking good when I get up to the top of the wall. If I have been struggling on the thing and I didn't even get the climb at the last time I was at the gym and I go back and then I send it, I feel so good about myself. I have that on the motorcycle track.

I figured you were gonna say that. Yeah, because again, it's quantifiable. How fast was I today? I was faster than almost everyone there and I'm older than everyone. Yeah, that shit, I'll go like, well, that's real. The artistic stuff is tricky because- Objective.

And I have imposter syndrome, so on some level, anytime I have success in an artistic way, I think, did I fool everyone? Is it as good as I wanted it to be? Could it ever be as good as you want it to be? Nothing weirder than coming off stage, whether you're doing this podcast live or some other thing, and you had a shitty time,

you cannot believe a person who tells you something nice. You swat it away immediately. If we have a bad show and somebody's like, you were unbelievable, your only response is like, well now I know you're like, I'm gonna just squat it away immediately. If we have a bad show and somebody's like, you were unbelievable. Your only response is like, well, now I know you're full of shit. To me, it's like, not only was I bad, I'm being pitied.

I forced them to lie to my face. Thanks for lying to me. I feel guilty. Like I put this poor person in a situation where they gotta come up and lie to me. So interesting. Yeah, so really measurable things appeal to me. Thing that you weren't good at, that you got good at, couldn't do the skill, now you can do the skill.

Do you have anything like that, Monica? She had it and then she retired. Really? Yeah, she couldn't do a flip. It's okay. I couldn't do a flip, but then I could do a flip. Because you had those legs. They were in my way, they were so dangly.

They were scraping the bottom of the sun when you flipped up into the air. That's right, challenge. I think I feel it when I'm with friends and they have a problem. And you solve it. And we work through their problem. That's when I leave and I'm like, that was a good day.

How can you not feel good about yourself there? Whether it's mediation or just offering a solution that works. Yeah, and figuring something out together and by the end people are better off. It feels really good to find somebody's missing pair of sunglasses or something. That's kind of like you, puzzles, figuring out problems.

I do enjoy that. That stuff is nice. I wanna go back to the Academy Award thing because I'm wondering if these are similar. So the thing that we both wrestle with in this thing I'm striving to really incorporate is when you have something you love for us, then it switches to, well, fuck, I don't wanna lose it.

Bizarre transference from building something to then protecting something and being don't want to lose it. Bizarre transference from building something to then protecting something and being afraid you're gonna lose it. And the way out of that thus far for me or when I can feel good about it, and I feel like this is kind of what you're saying, which is if it goes away, it doesn't mean it didn't happen.

Exactly. I feel in those fearful moments that if I lose it, it somehow didn't happen. It's weird though, it feels like that. Okay, this was my last question. Okay. And it's weird now that I'm getting to know you a little bit, I don it, it somehow didn't happen. It's weird though. It feels like that. Okay. This was my last question. Okay. And it's weird now that I'm getting to know you a little bit.

I don't think it's relevant anymore. Somehow you're 36, but you're 27. 26. 26. What a dick. 26 or dicks. That's what they say. 26 or dicks.

Okay. So when I was 27, I felt like I could feel 30 approaching and I felt like there was going to be a new decade of my life upon me. I got sober at 29, two months before I turned 30. I did start looking at the next decade of my life and starting to just think about what I wanted the life to be. I don't know. I just feel like 20s, you're throwing everything at the wall and some things are sticking.

You're trying to make a living and define yourself. And then you go like, wow, I'm actually in the driver's seat. Where are we going? Are you feeling that at all? I'm so far past all the stuff I thought I'd ever be able to do. So that's awesome, but scary in a weird way. That's scary of a long way to go.

You're like an Olympian in a weird way. Yeah, but I really do feel for people who have that kind of body clock of, holy shit, I'm only gonna be the fastest swimmer for another six years. And then it's not even gonna be close. And that must feel bizarre to sort of have this ability that's better than anyone else

that's gonna go away from you no matter what. I feel like I'll be able to write songs and make art forever, and that's awesome. Yeah, I'd really love to have kids. If I got told I had a terminal illness, that would be my big, like, that's the thing in my life I didn't get to do, what a shame.

That's on the horizon, hopefully. Do you need Claudia to have me to explain anything to you guys about that? No, she super wants to have this too. I think she just has a feeling, I'm sure that whenever we have kids, I'll look back and be like, I'm so glad that you were the person

kicking the ball a little further because we're young enough. She's like, hey, guess what? Big deal on my body for the year we have a kid. She has a career and a bunch of things that she's working on. I think she just has a feeling of easy for you to say, of course, it's not as life altering to you, but she really wants to have kids too. We're not in disagreement of anything.

She's also just like, would it kill you to wait two years? You know, I'm like, no, it wouldn't at all. I'm very glad we waited until we were older. How old were you when you had kids? I was 38 and Kristen was 33. I think that would be a fun way to start my 30s. I was with the gal named Bree for nine years and our goal was when she hit 30,

that was when we were gonna go and then we broke up right virtually when she hit 30 and then I was scrambling. I'm like, oh fuck. Yeah, did you have, did you feel panicked? Because it seems like you always wanna have kids. I always wanna have kids and also I'm like, I need to know someone's quality.

So I'm like, oh fuck, I'm 32. I'm going to have to date someone for a few years before I really know when I'm dating. I got to flip this whole thing upside down, which is what I did. I definitely see a lot of my friends get out of long relationships at about 31 and start a very short relationship

and get married and have a child. And I'm always like, well, they want to have kids. And I also not to besmirch them, we have old parents. They had me when they were 40 and they had Billy when they were 42 or three. So I really wanna have kids on the younger side so they have fucking grandparents. My grandparents were dead.

I love them and I want them to be a part of my kids' lives. I know, I don't want my kids to have kids really early but at the same time if they don't, I don't know that I'll meet them. Yeah, you wanna meet them. No, there's gonna be longevity pills. We're all living up to 200. We can all relax. Everyone can take a breath

What are you smoking? For sure and for certain we're living to 200. So don't worry. Monica's so contrary to all Information I've seen about the ninth hottest month in a row on record. We'll be lucky if our kids live to 30. Bill says Who's Bill? Bill our friend Bill Gates. Oh Bill Gates We have a friend Bill Gates. Penny has. I will say he's an exception to that. He didn't say that we're gonna live to 200. I need to be very clear about that. Oh, you made it up. Well, he says there's interesting science

in the longevity space, but he's not co-signing on anything. You're very promising. Yeah, I mean, you wouldn't wanna live longer than any of your friends, though. I'm getting them those pills. Don't worry. At the gas station? I've got money.

Yeah, over the pills at the gas station. I make money on this show. TikTok. Have you read Titan by chance? I got money. Over the gas station. I'm having money on this show. TikTok. Have you read Titan by chance? I haven't read Titan. I couldn't recommend it more. It's the biography of John D. Rockefeller. Cool.

Is my favorite biography I've ever read. I've read a lot of biographies. I'm a biography guy. Add Titan. Okay, great. It's Ron Chernow's best book. What's your favorite biography? You read Acid for the Children by Flea?

No. That's fucking awesome. The whole read Acid for the Children by Flea? No. That's fucking awesome. The whole book is up until the day the pepper starts. It's just his insane childhood and adolescence. And he's a beautiful author. I can't wait. It's great. Malcolm Gladwell did a really cool thing with them.

Yes, well he has that whole thing with Rick Rubin. He's your brother in podcasting, Malcolm Gladwell. We love Malcolm. I saw him at Blue Bottle recently. You did? Actually, not recently, but I saw him at Blue Bottle. I was like, he's just like us. When he's in town, he sides it a bit,

which I think is cool. He does, he likes all time, shout out. Yeah. The best restaurant. So good. So excited about that cookbook. I got a sneak peek at the cookbook. I've ordered it, I'm so excited.

It's so cool. And the chocolate cake recipe's in there, I'm not sure if I'm allowed to say that. We almost moved to Laughlin a couple years ago. You did, why didn't you? Then you and I could see each other. We'd trick or treat or whatever, it'd be cute. Yes, you could be on the hayride. I'm a big like, Arc Digest fucker.

I love that thing. Me too. So. I love Claudia, but again, that's another great thing. No. I think what my big takeaway from this is that you'd love Claudia. Yeah, I think that's right.

I think you and Claudia would be really close. That is right. Let's go to all time. My bad habit is just you'd love Claudia. I think you and Claudia would be really close. That is right. Let's go to all time. My bad habit is just anytime I meet someone that I like and I like Monica, yeah, this would be a fun hang. It is a bad habit because most of them are in relationships and it makes everyone uncomfortable.

Yeah, it doesn't make everyone uncomfortable. I think it's just nice. But I also have a best friend who I do that with. Okay. Where then I'm like, what about him? And they're like, you're a best friend? I'm like, yeah, he's amazing, right? I was just always selling my friend

to just be housed out. I'm assuming you're gonna now live in the biggest house you've ever lived in. What are you gonna do with the room that you've never had? What's the, oh my God, I get to do this. I was really excited when I got to have like a gym. Oh, you know what's unfortunate? I do have that, I have a fantasy.

There's a room that I've been planning on having in my house my whole life. I don't have it. What's wrong with you? I know. I'm just now realizing it. That's sad. What was your room? Gift wrapping room.

Weirdly enough, Kristin also wanted a gift wrapping room. I want them all on rolls and a whole area for bags and then a whole table with rulers for the cutting, special scissors, I want that. Ribbon dolls everywhere. But like sexy and hot. Right. Not grandmany. What do you mean sexy and hot?

Just still be sexy. She only wraps presents in lingerie. Picture like in her beach wallpaper. Yeah, exactly. Anyway, forgot to do that. I don't mean to yuck your yum. Go ahead. I'd never be in that room.

Not as your friend, I would never be in that room because I don't like to give gifts. Oh, then we're not the same. Is Claudia like to give gifts? Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's thoughtful. But it's not my love language. A gift to me means nothing.

Even if it's so thoughtful? No. If it's some kind of super bespoke. Oh, it would be. I would be like, oh, that's very thoughtful. I mainly just feel self-conscious about all the time they spent. Really. It's not meaningful to me. The thing that-

You're a little codependent. What? I think it's a little, I don't want you to think it's a little codependent to feel like, oh no, you spent so much time getting needed. That's how I feel about it. It is coming from codependency on my end, but I don't know that that has to be the root of it.

I just don't, you're like, I don't love shit. I want less stuff. Yes, you don't love shit. And you're like, God, this person put so much effort into this. Now I have to put it on a thing. And then I will want to throw it away next week and I never can.

It's a big obligation now. Yeah, that's my gift giving issue is I, what would this person like? And then I'm like, well, what would I like? Nothing. That's my big challenge. So what is your love language? Long, fun conversation.

I want to be in a circle of people laughing as hard as I have ever laughed and occasionally adding something that cracks everybody up. That's like my paradise. Will you accomplish that in this last couple of hours? Yeah, you did. Numerous times. Nice. What's your sign, Capricorn?

How did you know? He's July 30th. I'm not a Capricorn. Damn it. Did you read Adam Grant? Did you read? So classic, Adam Grant. Yeah, did you read his thing?

He's a classic. Did you read? So classic, Leo. Adam Grant. Yeah, did you read his thing? He sent it to me and he said, a lot of people told me to send this to you. He sent it to me and then I said, I dare you to send this to Monica.

That is the best thing to do to a- What a Leo. It's a mean thing, but it's the best thing to do to somebody who is curious is go, guess. And they guess and you go, wait a minute. That's crazy. And they're so proud. And they're like, wait a minute, I'm not a Capricorn. I'm not a Cap What a Leo. It's a mean thing, but it's the best thing to do to somebody who is curious is go, guess. And they guess and you go, wait a minute, that's crazy.

And they're so proud. And then you go, I'm not even that son. Especially a Virgo, me. I'm taking a lot of pride in getting things right. It's pretty exciting. Every time I look up Leo traits, I'm like, fuck, those are all me. This was in Adam's article.

They've done a study of 136,000 people and they give them the wrong sign and they all identify. They all identify. Oh dear. One study, one study. You're the one all about metadata. I am about metadata.

And Lane Norton. Isn't the other thing not to like just be contrarian but isn't the other thing that our lunar calendars are so skewed that everyone who's Leo is actually a cancer and everyone who's a cancer that it's changed so many times. It's like we've been astrology gerrymandered. We've been redistricted. I think the explanation is so the lunar calendar

is 360 days long and the solar calendar is 365 and a quarter days. So over time since it's been created, every five years it changes. That's significant. The other one that no one's gonna like to hear is a common one. This is one that no one's going to like to hear is a common one. This is one that I've almost even given credit to, which is, well, the moon has tremendous power over the ocean.

It's creating the tides. And so there was a study about this and the amount of force that the moon exerts on your body and the water in your body is one seventh thousandth of the force that a pillow on your face exerts. Pillow on my face exerts a lot of force though. That's not nothing. It force that a pillow on your face exerts. Pillow on my face exerts a lot of force though. That's not nothing. It's not a feather on my skin. But one 7,000th of that.

Sure. It's probably not changing your brain chemistry. I guess I just think we're so molecular that it might just be more distributed. Okay, so you're still in the gravitational pull. What's your percentage? Yeah, we like to do this out of 10. On what, the moon?

On astrology, like how much do you think? Zero is like, it's the stupidest thing, nothing is relevant. 10 is I plan my whole life off my chart. I don't plan none of my life on it, but I don't have much interest in like someone like you who I think is very intelligent. I'm not like, you know what I mean?

Now she's an idiot. Why would this thing make somebody that's smart not be smart? That's nice. I also wanna say before we get into Adam Grant, before I talk about this ad nauseam, once I read the article. Oh, you haven't read it yet.

No, I'm taking my time. I believe in it also with a grain of salt. I find it so fun. And I think it's funny when it matches up. It's kind of your hobby. It's just a fun thing. And I have to say, I think most people who quote, believe in it, not all, there's extremes,

but they also do it because it's fun and why not? And this makes sense and that's so funny and you're so this. So it kind of is like, why are you spending energy? Well, his take on it is it can be harmful. I don't have a position on it. I'm gonna read it. I've seen it be a platform for prejudice.

Really? Oh my God, wow, he's a Gemini. I've seen like flat out dismissal of a person. You thought I was talking about real prejudice? No, I'm just talking about like the idea that that's a deal breaker to somebody who's like pretty crazy. That's crazy.

Or that you would explain the failure of your relationship on that is a little dangerous. I think you've got some more things to look at. I agree. That's very Capricorn of you to say. Okay, now I'm in. All right, well Phineas, this has been a blast. I wanna bump into you in our neighborhood.

Let's do it. Monica, you'll let me know his schedule. If I ever have headphones in, do this. Yes, well now we know each other. If she ever has headphones in, jump out of a bush at her. This is an audio format. I'm sort of like, I think that's Monica.

I know, I know. I've seen some pictures of her. And also, I'm not at the stage of my life where I'm like, she definitely knows who I am. I would just be coming over to you as a fan. And if I'm just being a fan, then I don't wanna interrupt your walk where you're listening to music.

We're friends now. She has played it cool, but Monica is a super fan of Phineas. She has talked about you so much over the last six years. Oh man, that's so kind. I have, I am a huge fan. Oh, I haven't told you guys this. When Claudia and I went on our second date ever,

within the first 20 minutes, I was like, oh, I listened to that podcast, Armchair Expert. I remember she said, you're talking dirty to me right now about listening to Armchair Expert. Oh, Claudia. And it was like a big early facet of our relationship. We'd be brushing our teeth at her apartment or my house

and listening to the podcast. So it's very lovely to be here and a thing that we've talked about for years. One of my stocking stuffers, our first Christmas was like that cup. No, the left-handed mug. Did you buy the $2,000? Not the left-handed, just the mug.

You got a $2,000 one? Well, we had it as a joke because the mugs came wrong and we had some finite amount of them, finious amount of them. And we said, let's put them on the website for $2,000 as a joke. And lo and behold, some people bought them. And then we were like, we cannot take $2,000 from Armchairs. So it became a thing where when someone bought them, we would call lo and behold, some people bought them. And then we were like, we cannot take $2,000 from Armchairs. So it became a thing where when someone bought them,

we would call them and say, who do you want us to donate this $2,000 to? That in itself became a little laborious. Hopefully they're not even on the website anymore. You took them off. Yeah, I don't think they're available. Phineas, this was a blast. I really, really liked this.

I don't understand how you're 26. Maybe I'll process that by the time we do the fact check. It feels like a weird sim glitch. There's a sim thing happening. Where are you at on sim? I keep trying to end this and then I ask you another question. The society simulation, it feels like one of those things

that if it's true, it changes nothing, then maybe it's 100% true. Yes, you're gonna proceed through life regardless. It's gonna be identical. In a weird way, I think if you're as lucky as you were or as lucky as the two of us are, it's almost an act of humility, I think, because it's like no one really deserves this level

of good luck and fortune. That makes me a little suspicious about. I'm a big luck guy. It's much less that I'm talented or that I'm hardworking. I just got born lucky. And when good things happen, I'm like, well, I'm just lucky. Good things keep happening to me.

That's the explanation. I'm a lucky guy, more so than like random luck. Yeah, as your identity, you're lucky. Who wouldn't want that to be their identity? Which in a weird way, that makes you optimistic. Also makes you humble, which is likable. And then I have like bad things happen. This is now like two years ago, and I'll keep it brief

because I know we're spilling it, Rob's gonna pee his pants, but I got in this crazy bike accident, almost filled Boulevard a couple years ago and broke a bunch of bones. It was so shitty, but I still was lucky I didn't get a head injury. I think if you frame it that way,

you're like, obviously stupid that I got in this accident, but lucked out that I don't have permanent brain damage. Yeah, yeah. Let's end on brain damage. Sure. Monica, I love you. Love you. Thanks guys.

Adore you. Thank you, all time. Yes, and I hope we get to do this again. Yeah, man. Stay tuned to hear Miss Monica correct all the facts that were wrong. That's okay though, we all make mistakes. In a total eclipse, there's a very small period of time you can look at it. Right at it.

Boom. Well, I guess the issue is if you look at it and your eyes dilate because it's covered. Right. Which is letting way more it's covered. Right. Which is letting way more of it in. Yeah. So six half dozen. Do you look at it partial or you look at it? We're obviously talking about the eclipse.

The solar eclipse of the sun. Yeah, total eclipse of the heart. Total eclipse of the heart, solar eclipse of the sun. Partial eclipse of the day. And what's a lunar eclipse? I know, I looked all this up like a month ago and I can't retain it. Yeah, I cannot retain.

So the eclipse was an hour ago, I guess. I missed it completely. I mean, what's annoying is I knew it. You've been talking about it a lot leading up to it. And I bought the glasses. Oh, fuck. Well, I would be really bummed if I had bought the glasses and didn't, because I was out there,

this is what the armchair had missed, I set up my camera to do a time lapse photo, hoping that that's how I would look at it, because of course I want to look at it. Yeah. And I'm so tempted. You know me, I'm a rule breaker. I know.

Well, I was like, I don't accept that I'm not going to be able to see it, so how can I see it without damaging my eyes? Oh, time lapse. Yeah. And I go out there and I fine tune my camera, I've got it leaned perfectly, I had to lay on the ground, you know, to get it.

And then I'm trying to predict the arc of the sun, because it was supposed to start at 10.06, just come into whatever, a smidgen, and then crescendo at 11.06. And then I would have guessed dissipate for a while. Set up the camera, did time lapse, went upstairs, been researching for two hours, went outside, very excited,

picked up my phone thinking it would still be time-lapsing. It was dark, it shut off. The phone did not stand the test of time. I guess the trick is I knew it was pointed directly at the sun, which it might overheat, but I had covered most of the body of the camera, just left the lenses exposed.

But whatever, this is such a long story. I didn't get it, I didn't get it. That's not a point. You can watch a video online. Oh, that's a good idea. Yeah, it's not the same as real life. Will it be ours though? No.

I'm sure you can find one. Yeah, I'm sure we can find one. Someone in LA did it, right? Will you type in your address? Oh, in time lapse. Time lapse and a quiz. And my name and my social security number. And you'll get to watch it.

I have friends who went to it. So I was just doing something very funny downstairs. Well, you were listening to Screamo, it sounded like. No, that was Sinead O'Connor, which maybe I guess is the original Screamo, you could argue. Very emotional, lots of screaming. I just started that up when this other thing ended,

which was a list of things to do today and running out of time, so I'm like, all right, I gotta change my flight and my hotel reservation for a trip. And so I'm just gonna call American Express Travel and do it that way. But I also have to work out. And so I put my earbuds in, which I never use.

Maybe the only first time I've ever used those to chat on the phone. I always put my phone right up to my ear. Traditional. Point is I get on with a very helpful person and I'm doing squats, deadlifts, cleans, and bench press. Wow. In the middle of it. All heavy.

Today's heavy day. Okay. While chatting and trying not to let them know I'm in the middle of squatting. Oh my God. So it'd be like, okay, now I'm gonna look, let me just see what flights are available. And I go, okay, that's my cue. She's gonna be busy for at least 12 reps of this squats.

Oh. But it's the- Then do you mute it? Like are you trying to, oh. No, because I've got the earbuds in and I'm at the squat rack. The phone is on the other side of the room. I see, okay.

You follow me. And- There's probably a way, sometimes on these, you can like touch and stuff. Yes, I got really paranoid that I was, because I would push them into my ears really hard before I laid down to do the bench, because I was like, what if they fall out of my ears?

And then I thought, yeah, that could hang up on accident, like double clicking or something. You gotta be careful. All this to say I did my whole workout dead quiet without any elevated breathing even. Because I didn't want her to hear this like. I'm trying to leave now on the 27th. Yeah.

God knows what she would have thought. And for the listener, you're a loud work outer. Well, I go hard Monica, I think that's what. I know, it's not a bad thing, it's just, it is loud. Say more, say more. You make lots of sound. Because you're up here, you're saying and you hear it. Yeah, I hear it's just, it is loud. Say more, say more. You make lots of sound. Because you're up here, you're saying, and you hear it. Yeah, I hear it.

We hear it all the time. On Synced in Flightless Bird? Yeah. Okay. Does it ever make the episode? It's not ever audible in a episode. I don't think in the final edit you can hear it, no. But I can hear it. You can hear it. And sometimes I can hear it when I'm walking by.

Oh, now I do imagine you can hear the weights dropping on the ground when you guys are recording. It gets edited out in post. There's like enough happening. We can hear everything we can hear, all your songs. Well, okay, now that makes sense. But you can hear a lot of grunts. Oh my God, more than I guess I knew about.

I don't want you to get self-conscious about it because it- I don't know how I would go back now. You asked for it, you said I want to talk about it more. Yeah, yeah, well I want the full picture. It's great. Okay. It's just full exertion.

Would you mimic what it sounds like? I'll close my eyes. Oh! That was one. what it sounds like. I'll close my eyes. Ah! That was one. Yeah, so that, so okay, that's, that was my guess. That's a clearing of- You guys are conflating some things. No, I know you-

I know you hear me clearing my throat down there. I know, that I know, that's different. That's standard. Yeah, that is white noise at this point. Yeah, that does, see now, the coughing and clearing my throat does not come as a surprise. Yeah. That I expected. No, but there's actual grunts.

Even just now when I was walking by to come up here, you know, screamo, and then there's lots of sounds coming from you, mainly clearing though. Well, I am coming out of a pretty bad cold worsted my ear. You always clear. Oh, yeah. I like it. Well. I think it's fun.

I mean, I just can't not do it. At night, there's a Swedish word for it. I don't know what it is, but Kristen learned it. And it's where you get your room really, really cold before you go to sleep. Okay. Fun word, I don't know what it is. So we've been in the habit of leaving the doors open

in the bedroom at night, so it gets really cold. Okay. Before bed. And the cool. The doors outside. To the balcony. Right, okay. I am going at it sometimes before bed. Ah, you know, ah, help. Yeah. And I was like, fucking, the poor neighbors, like,

they 100% hear that. Cause I'm up on the second story with the doors wide open and it's nighttime. I bet you can hear it throughout the whole fucking neighborhood. Sure, probably. I wish I could get a lung transplant, get some normal lungs.

No, it's part of who you are. It would be weird if you were like quiet. I think it's a little bow. It's my mom. I thought you said your dad did stuff like that. No, my Papa Bob, he had a whole racket going on, but he was more like, he did a lot of that. Oh. With the nasal EMT stuff.

My mother is more chest. Oh, right, yeah. And to be fair, I have both, Papa Bob and. Yeah, you have a lot going on. It's great. Very busy. I do wonder how many calories a day I probably burn just by coughing.

That's cool. It's probably got a little bit of a benefit I don't know about. Then maybe I'll try it. Anyways, working out and talking to the lady was really kind of funny. That is funny. And new because you do make a lot of noise.

So it must have felt weird. The second I hung up with her, it was like off to the races. That's probably what you were hearing when you heard this. You've been holding it in. Yes, yes, yes. What an interesting experience last night in bed. I can't remember exactly what I was doing, but I felt, I didn't even fall, I leaned into some foliage

and I felt a stab in the back of my arm and it hurt and it was like the nub of a branch of something but I didn't think too much more of it. It hurt but I thought it just punctured it. Laying in bed last night and I just kind of grazed my arm in a chunk of tree like the size of probably a pencil eraser, but jagged. Just fell out of my arm. That had been in there for a few days.

It was like a bad, weird splinter. Yes, but like a chunk. And it did, my body expelled it, which is so comforting. But I did feel, I think there's still a little bit in there, but now I'm really reassured that your body does just spit that stuff out. Are you sure it wasn't just sticking out the whole time? No, because I had rubbed my hand across it.

Are you sure? Am I sure I rubbed my hand? Or when it happened. Yes, and I just felt like, ow. But I think it was inside and they're broken off. But over the course of a couple of days, it just like pooped it out. It just plopped it out. That's so weird.

That can't be. I know. I kinda like that. How can that be? That your body justed it out. It just plopped it out. That's so weird. That can't be. I know. I kinda like that. How can that be? That your body just pushes it out? That's what your body does. Oh. You know that. I'm not telling you anything new. I don't, I don't know if I believe it.

That your body expels things that are in it? Well, obviously poops. No, even splinters, if you don't get them out, it does push them out eventually. I have a piece of lead pencil in my fingertip from when I was like 11. I know we all think we have that. No, I can see it.

I know. I think something else happens because I had that forever too and that was my same story. Now I know you can see it, but if you dig your fingernail in there, you can't feel it, can you? It's pretty deep.

See, that's your explanation. No, it's probably just punctured. I think it's a stain. Yeah, it's your explanation. It's probably just punctured. I mean, it's punctured. I can show you it. Many people have it and I had it forever too. I can't remember where it went, but I had the same conclusion as you

and that at some point I'm like, no, I think it's just a tattoo. Like you got punctured with some ink or something and then just like a normal tattoo, it just stays in there and that looks like, go ahead. I remember getting stabbed by an accident. Well tell us more, what happened? My mom, oh and I accidentally,

I went to like grab a pencil from her. Oh, okay. And it stabbed me like pretty deep in my finger, it broke off. And it broke off? And your mother didn't dig in there with a needle or anything? I mean, I pulled out what I could. I don't know.

I don't know if I think that the graphite's in there. I mean, I hope not. I could. I don't know. I don't know if I think that the graphite's in there. I mean, I hope not. I look at it all the time. Yeah, yeah, I know. I know exactly, like I can, if I were a great artist, I could draw what it looks like without looking at it. Because I had it and then a lot of people I know have it. I mean, you would be sick if it really was in there.

Like you'd be lead poisoned. No, no, there's nothing poisonous in there. Like you'd be lead poisoned. No, no, there's nothing poisonous in a pencil. Pencil, lead? It's not lead, it's graphite. But why do they say that? Well, no, I mean, I know that's right, but that can't be good for your body.

Graphite? Yeah. So that's pretty good for your body. No, I don't know what it is for your body, but I don't think it's toxic for your body. All right. Love to do more exploration. Okay.

Speaking of the neighborhood. Tell me. This is for Phineas. Oh, wonderful. People have been getting impatient. Phineas Gage. And I understand why. Me too.

Yeah, the comments is littered with, what the fuck happened to Phineas Easter egg? Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes our Easter eggs, it's a while before the payoff. And this is why we wisely do not say who's gonna be on because of course it just creates anxiety for the listener who's excited.

I know, but I am gonna post an Easter egg soon of something. Oh, okay. All right. You wanna tell me and then cut it out? Oh, well, okay. You might as well just. That's the point.

What? That's fun for people. I mean, it's fun to let people in a little bit. Yeah. Especially when it's someone like that. Okay. He mentioned Laird Hamilton. I don't know who that is.

Oh, you don't? No, I don't. But now I do, because I looked him up. He's a surfer. I strongly recommend Riding Giants. Oh, is that a movie? It's one of the most incredible documentaries ever. And that's where I became aware of Laird Hamilton.

Because he was never like, he didn't like compete against Kelly Slater or any of that stuff. He was just a lone wolf trying to ride the biggest waves in the world. And I believe invented the tow-in surfing where there's a jet ski that has to tow you onto the face of this 30-foot wave.

Wow. Yeah, and it's wild. that has to tow you onto the face of this 30-foot wave. Yeah, and it's wild. And his personal story is really sweet and incredible. Yeah, he's a neat dude. And of course, married to Gabrielle Reese. Right, I did see that on Wikipedia. What an athletic family. Okay, is E Entertainment still an outlet?

Yeah, E News. E News. E News, E Online. Still banging it outnews. E-news, E-online. Still banging it out there. Who did the Chinatown score? William Goldman. No, do you wanna keep guessing? Do you wanna keep interrupting me?

No, you're right about one. Gold. You're right about gold. Yeah, what is it? Jerry Goldsmith. Jerry Goldsmith. Yeah. Do you think you really got it? No, although now that you say Jerry Goldsmith, I'msmith. Yeah. You think you really got it?

No. Although now that you say Jerry Goldsmith, I'm like, yes, of course, that's what it is. Jerry Goldsmith. Oh. Tell me. I wanna tell people what happened on Friday. Okay.

The connections was wine-based. Ah, yes. And I didn't get it. Yeah. And you took it pretty hard. Really bad. Took it to heart. My identity was shattered.

What were the four words? Dry. Sweet, dry, not fruity, dry, sweet, full. These are all like so generic. And something else. Dry, not fruity, dry, sweet, full. These are all like so generic. And something else. And I got very stuck on it being personality type slash senses of humor. So I was like, because one of the words was ironic.

So it was like, it's definitely dry, sweet, ironic and something. Yes. And fruity. Yeah. And I- And fruity. Yeah. At least it wasn't like wine types and you didn't miss that. No, no, that would have been too obvious.

This was just like words to describe wine, but I didn't, like, I didn't get it. I didn't get it at all. You know, I lost connections that day. Yeah. And of course two people texted me, like, did you play connections today? Yeah. Because they knew I would be excited by the wine thing.

Yeah, yeah. And then I had to say it over and over again. I didn't get it. Ugh, I know, it's rough. But I didn't get it today. I know, today you had a hard time. Everyone, a lot of people had a hard time. I mean, I made mistakes.

But I knew, and this is like a very bad part of my personality. I blew two guesses on the first one. Yeah. And then I was like, odds are I'm probably not gonna get it. You didn't finish. So I'm not gonna take any time. No, I just started going, I don't fucking care

and I'm gonna pick fast. Okay, so this I do think is telling of people's personalities. Okay, like most people would have maybe really hunkered down after they got those. And then I was like, well, it's not perfect, so that sucks. And then beyond one, I don't even care. So now I'm just gonna like guess

because I don't even spending more time on this one I'm mad at. Wow, I mean, I have also a bad habit in these. What's yours? If I'm, if a mistake happens, it like, you know, it does this stupid thing where it like jiggles. Oh, fucking man. Yeah. And when that, like something visceral happens in my body

and I get very scared of that happening again. It's like that can't happen again. So I get panicked and I feel like the pressure gets so high. And so then I'm trying to just sort of figure it all out without making any guesses. Because you're arrested with fear. Yeah. Yes.

And I go the, yeah. And then my reaction is the complete opposite. I just get brazen once I've made some mistakes. Cause I'm like, like to me, you're only doing it for one thing, perfection. And everything shy of perfection, this doesn't matter. For me, I don't have that, I'm not feeling other people that way,

but for me, I'm trying to get it perfect. And once I make one mistake, it's like, well, the whole point of that is now over. Well, that's interesting. I mean, obviously perfection is ideal. It's like there's first everything, it's first place or last place. What are they saying?

It's all or nothing. Second place is the same as last place. Something like there's some saying in racing. Oh yeah, silver. Yeah, it's just like, there's only one winner. But I disagree, getting it all is great. But on the ones that are hard, hard like today, in one that's objectively hard,

if I get it and other people aren't getting it, I still feel like that's a win. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the whole- Dan and Mira. Wina. Wina. Yeah. But God bless you. Thank you, Wina, for the service. Thank you. I panicked the other day

that they're not paying her enough. Have you had that thought? No, I haven't thought that at all. Oh my God, yeah, I'm like, I bet they're underpaying her and she's gonna walk and where will we be without this game? No, they'll hire someone else. Oh my God, you think she's replaceable?

No, I love her, but I am mad at her a lot. Of course, she's a temptress and an evil seductress and whatever thing. I know, mean, sexy bitch. Yeah, sexy bitch. Tsunami between the sheets. Who is she, I wonder? I don't wanna know. Yeah. Like I don't ever wanna know

what her face looks like. It's probably a large man somewhere. No, it's an Asian woman. Well, that's what the name suggests. My last name is Lou. I know, but it could be like a big white guy driving a semi-truck across the country thinking of these things.

It's so obviously an Asian woman. Oh, wow. You are allowed to say that. Well, first of all, it's so obvious because her name reflects that. It would be like, I mean, look, you're right. Anything's possible. But it would be like if someone's name was Ravi Patel.

Right. And they were Slavic. Exactly. Yeah, big Polish man. And they were Slavic. Exactly. Yeah, big Polish man. We can make some assumptions. But this person may know that there are many people on any given day who their day's been ruined by him or her.

And they were smart enough to throw you off the sense. They're like, I'm gonna pick a female Asian name. But that's really bad. And that way no one will come from, like, yes. Like, cause you have to understand that's almost like a meter monitor. What do you say? I used to say meter maid. So you're allowed to say that too, but I can't say that.

But you know what I'm saying. Wait, we're not allowed to say that. I can't imagine you are. Meter maid? What do they call? Well, first. Wait, we're not allowed to say that anymore? I can't imagine you are. Meater maid? What do they call? Parking attendant. Well, first of all, it implies it's all women, right? You're not gonna call them male parking.

When maids were allowed. Yeah, you wouldn't call them male. If they were a male, you should. You call them a custodian. I'm teasing, I don't know. Listen, I can't imagine you're allowed to say meater maid anymore. Okay.

Parking attendant. Parking enforcer. Civil enforcement officer, parking enforcement officer. That person, as I've already said it on here in the past, I have the most amount of compassion for the parking enforcement. Because every single person they interact with is miserable to see them.

I mean, I don't know what the suicide, I just, that's a job. Well, that's what they say about dentists, right? The suicide rate is really high. Part of it is the tedium of it in the confined space they work within and also that people are afraid to see them and they inadvertently inflict pain on people all day long.

So the meter enforcer is also in that position. Worst than a dentist, cause they don't even get paid. I gotta tell you what, this is a commitment out loud. It's not new years, but I'm gonna make a second quarter resolution. I'm gonna start going way out of my way to be nice to the parking enforcement. Unless they're putting it to get on my car.

No, that's when- I won't be able to control myself. Attacks. I won't be mean to them. I'm not mean to them, but I can't be happy. But I think I'm gonna start really going like, hey, how's it going? And kind of engage them. And I'm gonna try to tip one.

I just decided that right now too. I'm gonna try to give one $100. She's like bribery. But that's what they might be nervous about. But I'll say, hey, you haven't ticketed me and I'm not asking for anything. I just appreciate you out here in these streets. Where are you gonna, how often do you see them?

All the time. You do? Sure, Los Angeles. Girl, they're cooking around. I just appreciate you out here in these streets. Where are you gonna, how often do you see them? All the time. You do? Sure, Los Angeles. Girl, they're cooking around. I don't see them that much. I actually think there's been budget cuts in that arena. I'm gonna go out of my way. Okay, that's nice of you. Maybe take one to lunch if they're up for it. Great, I think you should.

You know what I, fuck, here's what I should do. This is what Drew Carey did during the strike, which was so nice, is he opened up a tab at Bob's Big Boy, and he said if you're a writer in the union, you can go to Bob's and show your WGA card and have lunch for free. That's awesome. It's so Drew Carey.

He's such a fucking man, it's impossible. He's done shit like that his whole career. Oh man, I love that. Majorly good dude. Friend of the pod. Yeah. Early days. Absolutely.

Rode here on a moped, which was cool, in a full rain suit. But I should probably, I should open up an account at a restaurant and offer to buy parking enforcers lunch. And people who've got tickets that day. No, I can't afford that. That would be half the city.

Oh no, I'm bleeding. Well, if you could show your ticket and it had that day's date on it. Yeah. That's actually kind of nice as well. TVD, we'll see how this goes. Okay. Okay.

Phineas. I text Phineas this weekend. Oh, you did? I did. About what? Well, it crosses my mind sometimes I'm laying inas this weekend. Oh, you did? I did. About what? Well, it crosses my mind sometimes I'm laying in bed and it's like we make these really nice connections

with people and it's so heightened the experience and then we exchange numbers. And I sometimes worry that they think like three weeks later like, nah, I never did hear from them. That was kind of fake. Oh. Not that his self-esteem is probably way bigger than that. I don't need to worry about that.

But it occurred to me, I want him to know I think about him and I really liked meeting him and I still thinking about him. That's nice. So I just texted him and said, still thinking about you. That's cool. And then he responded, said, who the fuck is this, stop texting me.

Yeah, who this? And then he said, it's Dax Shepard. And he said, tell me something you've been in. What would you say? What would you say to that? To Phineas, idiocracy, it's like easy. No, no, no. It's easy. To, to, to.

It's person to person. Flippy Gomez. Flippy Gomez, I would say Chips. Cause that's a male Latino in Los Angeles. No, he's not. And that's primarily who watched Chips. He's not Latino. Gomez?

I know, this is one of those wine situations. Okay, okay. So this is one of those wine situations. Okay, okay. Okay. So this is a young Asian female by the name of Flippy Gomez? Yep. Okay. Well, in that case, I think parenthood. Yeah, that's probably right. Maybe bless his mouth.

Anywho. Okay. Now, Phineas is obviously doing film scores. Yeah. We talked a lot about that. So I looked up 50 best film scores of all time. Can I have a tissue? Tissue?

I have blood. Oh, wow, you scratched yourself to your bleeding. Yeah. Okay, ready? I'm gonna read these. Okay. Frozen, best number 50, Christopher Beck. I missed the setup because you asked me for a tissue and I was on the move. Okay. Frozen, best number 50, Christopher Beck.

I missed the setup, cause you asked me for a tissue and I was on the move. Well that was, okay, yes. Top 50 best film scores. Oh, best. Okay, Frozen's 50. Frozen, Interstellar, Hans Zimmer, Ding Ding Ding, Jonah. I bet he's gonna have the most on here.

Oh, that's a good guess. Zimmer. Casablanca, Max Steiner. Are you going one to 50? No, I'm going 50 to one. Okay. What? That was a lot. Well, stop interrupting then.

Okay, sorry. James Bond theme, Monty Norman. Superman, John Williams. He's gonna be a content. John Williams. That's what I was, I don't know. Alien, Jerry Goldsmith. Goldsmith. He's gonna be a- John Williams. Yep. That's when I was, I don't know. Alien, Jerry Goldsmith. Goldsmith.

44, Pride and Prejudice, Dario Marionelli. 43, Inception, Hans Zimmer. Yeah, Sim Sim. 42, Avatar, James Horner. 41, Captain Corelli's Mandolin, Steven Warbeck. I feel like I'm doing something cool. The Academy Awards, like you're listing the nominees.ck. I feel like I'm doing something cool. The Academy Awards, like you're listing the nominees.

Yeah, I feel like that. That's what it sounds like. This is a good time for me to practice. You're taking the right pause. Hans Zimmer, Interstellar. Gives time to show the clip, a little bit of the clip. Exactly. Once upon a time in the West, Ennio Mariconi.

Ennio Mariconi. Mariconi. Mariconi cherries. 39 Mariconi, Mariconi. Mariconi cherries. 39, Romeo and Juliet, Craig Armstrong, this is Baz Luhrmann's Romeo and Juliet, Craig Armstrong, Jaws, John Williams. John Williams. The big country, Jerome Morose.

So we got John Williams and John Goldfeld. No, Jerry Goldsmith. Jerry Goldsmith and John. John Williams. Well, they're not even related. Why do I think those are the same name? No, not even close. I know.

Well, they both J's. That's weird. But you also have James Horner, that's 36 Titanic. That's 35 Pirates of the Caribbean. Hans Zimmer. Hans Zimmer and Klaus Bedelt. Yeah, that's his uncle. Do you say Caribbean?

Yes, unless I'm going on a vacation to the Caribbean. Yeah. Last of the Mohicans, Trevor Jones. Battle of Britain, Ron Goodwin and William Walton. Oh my God, you really leaned into that one. You're waiting for the two different camera angles because there was two. 32, the damn busters Eric Coates.

31, Back to the Future, Alan Silvestri. The Godfather, Nino Rota. Apollo 13. Go, I just wanna preemptively say, Tootsie, you better be on here. Okay. All right. And Johnny Greenwood.

Fur, there will be blood. Oh, that was a good one. Okay, Apollo 13, James Horner. Saving Private Ryan, John Williams. The Sound of Music, Richard Rogers. Indiana Jones, Raiders of the Lost Ark, John Williams. Yeah, I guess Williams is the king, isn't he? Yeah.

One time I think I saw him at Houston's. American Beauty, Thomas Newman. I love LA. Is that a song from him? That's Randy Newman, his brother. Really? Yeah. Oh, really his brother?

I really think so. Look at that, I think Thomas and Randy Newman are brothers. It really is brother. Really? Yeah. Oh, it really is brother? I really think so. Look at that, I think Thomas and Randy Newman are brothers. Cousins. Cousins. Okay. Kissing cousins. Born free John Barry. Gone with the wind, Max Steiner. Dangerous moonlight, Richard.

Uh-oh. Richard. This is a panic on stage. This is a Travolta moment. This is an Adele disease. Yeah, yeah. That popped up on my Instagram recently. Richard, and you took like a weird. Richard Adensell.

Lawrence of Arabia, Maurice Jar. Kind of confident about that, but also a little nervous. I feel like I'm reading Taylor's commencement speech. What are you at? You're only like 10 in? No, 20. We have 20 left. Braveheart, James Horner. Why the James Horner? Blade Runner, Vangelis, Amelie, Jan Tiersen.

I love Amelie. Great movie. 633 Squadron, Ron Goodwin, The Magnificent Seven, Elmer Bernstein. 15, E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial. John Goldwyn. Don't touch that person. William, William.

Jerry Goldsmith. Jerry Goldsmith. But this isn't. John Williams. This is weird. It says E. But this isn't. John Williams. This is weird. It says ET the extraterrestrial. John Williams' close relationship with Steven Spielberg and the director's own meteoric career meant

that he was the composer for many major films of the period, including Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Superman, and of course ET. Huh, weird. John Williams just gave you a lot of info on that one. But it's not labeled the same way. Oh, okay. It messed up. All right. That wasn't my fault. That was the prompter's weird. John Williams, just gave you a lot of info on that one. But it's not labeled the same way. Oh, okay. It messed up.

All right. That wasn't my fault. That was the prompter's fault. I have been to the Hollywood Bowl for John Williams' night where the orchestra plays all the themes. It's really cool. Yeah. Speaking of, this is my favorite.

I always thought I was at Jerry Goldsmith's performance, but it was just as pleasant, even though I was confused. Okay, this is my favorite. Smith's performance, but it was just as pleasant, even though I was confused. Okay. Okay, this is my favorite. Well, one of my top two faves. Okay. Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, John Williams. What happened, your computer died?

Oh my God. Are we having technical difficulties? No, this is the time where- Oh, you want to play it. Tim's Poser and the Sorcer. Oh, you want to play it. Tune is positive and the sorcerer is dumb. It's so good. Wow. Okay, so actually there's, I have another one.

Oh, oh wait, it's lost. You have to play the whole thing, I think. You gotta watch the whole movie now. Oh my God, it's everywhere. What's happening? It's magic. The list was only made longer by having to watch Harry Potter in the middle of the list.

Magic. Wait, what is going on? Oh my God, it's a virus. Sorcery. I would love it if. What if your computer elevated and started floating up throughout the room and you finally were invited into the world of magic?

Okay, phew. Oh God. Okay, ladies in lavender, Nigel Hess, cinema Paradiso, Annie Mariconi. Oh, another Mariconi, yeah. Dr. Zhivago, Maurice Jarre, Jurassic Park, John Williams, that was my other. But there's one more, I have three.

Okay. Well, you're gonna play three. No, I just love three, but I am gonna play this. Oh, oh, oh. Okay. So good. I think this is the best one. Yeah, but we're not at the sticky part.

I love this game. This is a game on sat. If someone whistles at it. There it is. Look, a dinosaur is doing it. Oh, it's conducting you. That proves my point. About what, dinosaurs? That they can do it without the conductor. Oh my God. Oh my God.

I've been yelled at by a few people that that was my opinion from the Cooper episode. I'm gonna stand by it. There's like a couple, I'm willing to take the heat on a couple. Like I pissed off curlers years ago, as you may remember. The Olympic curlers. Cause I said it was sweeping. Well, as you may remember, the Olympic curlers. Yeah. I said it was sweeping.

Well, sweeping. It was like a, you know, it's an interesting, and I've lived with that and I can shoulder it. And so yeah, I have a handful of conductors because I'm convinced I've watched enough of these where they don't ever look at the conductor. That's my premise. But how?

The musicians just stare at their sheet music. I watch them. They don't ever look up at the conductor. You can't say that when you've never, you've never even taken a chorus class. I've also never curled. I've only watched it on TV. I just think as a good artist, you shouldn't say that. I know that's why people are so mad.

I get everyone's point. Okay, okay, nine, the good, the bad, and the ugly. I know that's why people are so mad. I get everyone's point. Okay. Okay, nine, the good, the bad and the ugly. Ennio Mariconi. That's a goody. Charlotte Safire. Charlotte Safire. This is why they don't have 50 nominees.

Yeah. No one could do it. People fatigue. Yeah. Chariots of Fire, Vangelis. Oh, that's the second Vangelis. Star Wars, John Williams. Williams is the Titan.

Yeah, the mission, Ennio Mariconi. Oh, number four. I definitely saw him at Houston's. John Williams, not Ennio Mariconi. Okay. Okay, now we're entering top five. Dances with Wolves, John Berry. Out of Africa, John Berry.

Wow. John Berry on a roll. Gladiator, Hans Zimmer. Ah, Zimmer. The Lord of the Rings, Howard Shore. Schindler's List, John Williams, number one. John Williams, he takes it. Did John Bryan not make the list at all? No, I'm curious who assembled this list.

Is this some, just some- Classicfm.com. Wonderful. Yeah, there's a, in my opinion, there's a few missing things, but that's fine. What would your list be? What's your top five? Well, of course, John Bryan's got a few different that I would nominate.

Eternal Sunshine, what a fucking score. Tootsie, Dave Grueson. You're being so cavalier like you are with connections. You have to pick five. Dave Grueson. Yeah, we've done enough. I'll just say those two, I wish they were on there. And Johnny Greenwood, there will be blood. Okay, that's yours.

Would you have one that wasn't on there that you wanna see on there? Home Alone. Okay, yeah. I'm serious. I believe it, it's great. I think it's John Williams. Probably. Yeah. He's every other one. Yeah, yeah. I'm serious. I believe it. It's great. I think it's John Williams. Probably. Yeah.

He's every other one. Yeah, he did. I met, it was him. Yeah. Oh wow, dude, what a career. I know. I met Hans Zimmer in the commissary at Warner Brothers and he actually introduced himself at the table.

And I, of course, I know the whole career, he, Hans Zimmer, whoa, what a score. I might even put that on there. I'm picturing a very serious German composer. Right. Fucking playful, party. That's nice. Exuberant personality, and friendly to no end.

I like that. Yeah, but I kind of, of course, not my stereotype of what I was picturing. One time I saw John Williams at Houston's. Let me be clear. I know you saw him at Houston's or not, but seemingly seems like. I wanna be clear, I think composers a very real job.

I'm talking about conducting. I know. I know. We all know. The sticks. A couple sticks. Dune Two score is really good that Hans did. Oh yeah. I liked that. Yeah.

I liked that. Good score. I don't think I'd put it in my top five, but okay. I brought up a video that I saw of Billy and Phineas singing together when they were young. Oh, I wanna hear that. And I'm gonna play it. Oh good.

Are you? Maybe. together when they were young. Oh, I want to hear that. And I'm gonna play it. Oh good. Oh, she's so young, huh? Oh, she looks like she's what, 14 or something? Oh, I don't think this is the one I on your computer, Monty. You want to hold it up a little higher. You're holding it up to the screen. And then you're turning the volume up and you don't know why it's not getting louder. Shut up! God!

What if you're holding it to their mouth on screen? That's how it'd get louder. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha What's going on? Oh my God, I wanted you to be able to see it also. Yes, all things can happen. You just gotta hold your computer a little higher so that the, don't put the mic higher. Yes, the speakers are in the computer, not the screen. Where though? I think around, coming out the keyboard area.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, fine. All right, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, fine. All right, resume, resume. Uh-oh. Harry Potter.

What about you? Who knows? I'm starting over. Oh, oh. That's really bad. That's like Delta. I'm starting over. Are you?

Maybe. See how much louder it is now? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm doing it wrong every time. Are you? Maybe. See how much louder it is now? I'm doing it wrong every time. I know. Soon before you came, excuse the mess you made Usually doesn't rain in Southern California, much like Arizona My eyes don't shed tears before the ball, when I'm thinking about you Ooh, no, no, no, I've been thinking about you

You, no, no, no, I've been thinking about you Do you think about me still? Do you, do you, do you not think so far ahead? Cause I've been thinking about forever. Oh, do you not think so far? I've been thinking about forever I don't like you, I just thought you were cool enough to kick it Got a bunch of shots I could sell you, I just thought you were cool enough to kick it Gotta be chiles, I could sell you an idol Since you think I'd love you, I just thought you were cute, that's why I kissed you

Gotta fight it, Jen, I don't get to fly, go lying down I'm thinking about you Ooh, no, no, no I've been thinking about you You, no, no, no I've been thinking about you You know, know, know I've been thinking about you Do you think about me still? Do you?

Do you not think so far? Cause I've been thinking about forever I'll be thinking about forever Do you not think so far? Cause I'll be thinking about forever Yes of course I remember how good I forget how you feel You know you were my first time, a new feel It will never get old, and in my soul and heart and in, my spirit keep it alive We'll go down this road till it turns from color to black and white Do you not think so far ahead? Cause I'll be thinking about forever Ooh Do you not think so far?

Yeah Cause I'll be thinking about forever Ooh Do you not think so far? Yeah Good God. Isn't that so special? Oh, fuck. They look so, like they look so little in this. They're children.

Yeah. I don't know how the parents walk in and see that the two babies are creating art that's like comparable or exceeds what professionals do. Yeah, I know. Oh my Lord. It's so. He of all the people I've ever met, I think,

other than maybe May Whitman, is so much older than his age. I can't compute it. I know. It's the most rattling version of that I think I've ever experienced. You know what's tricky? I was thinking about that.

The hard thing is when you are so mature, you are still an age. There is legitimately time you have not experienced on Earth. And so I think it's actually like, if you fuck up or if you're not always mature or like showing, you know, I feel like people take that much worse. I know exactly what you're saying. I do it to Lincoln sometimes, which is she's so smart and aware

and misleadingly old. Right. Yeah, and every now and then I'm like, oh right, and she's 10. She's 11. Yeah, yeah, yeah, she is 11 now. But I would think it a lot when she was 10. Like I get reminded like, oh yeah, she's just a little girl still.

Exactly. So I think it's, oh yeah, she's just a little girl still. Exactly. So I think it's, yes, he is so mature, but he is still a 27 year old guy. Yeah. Guy man. Yeah. Anyway, so cool for the parents. Also, when I watch that and this shouldn't be my thought process,

I should just enjoy it. But I do go, I have nothing to offer like that. That is so special and powerful. It is. And otherworldly. And I just am like in awe and humbled by the talent. Me too, me too. You have your grunts.

Thank you. Yeah. Thank you for reminding me. You're welcome. Yeah. I was feeling a little low about myself, but now that I remember I grunt, Yeah. Toretically, I feel a lot better.

It's unique to you. It is. Everyone knows where I'm at all the time. Yeah, you don't, you're not. I'd be a bad assassin. Yeah. Yeah, I keep. That probably feels bad.

It does. Cause I think I'd be good on the sneaking up on people, but I would inevitably have to clear my throat. I don't know if you would, because you're so big. But I'm ballerina-like on my tiptoes. I'm cat-like. Cats. Cats get fever.

They eat your head off. That's all I can think about. All right, let's see. That's all I can think about. All right, let's see. That's it, I think. Oh no, Support and Feed, his mom's nonprofit, or his mom's charity, is a.org. Oh, that was confusing to me. The name of it sounded like a call to action for me.

I thought you were saying Support and Feed his mother's, and I'm waiting for the name of. I see. But that's in fact the name of it. Supportandfeed.org. Oh, we talked a little bit about Adam Grant's astrology. Take down? Yeah.

You haven't read it yet? No, I did. Oh, you did? I did read it, yeah. You don't care? I mean, I see what he means. Like I see what he means. I also think it's fine if people believe in it.

Oh, totally. So. Me too. I do admire the weirdly, the audacity to take on something that people like so much. Yeah, it's like Taylor Swift. Which also has like no impact. So there is something about it that it feels not brave, but in weirdly it is.

Does that make sense? I guess he must really, cause I mean, we love Adam and I know he's not, he's not trying to be provocative. Like I don't find Adam to be that necessarily. I think he thinks this is an actual problem. Potentially harmful. Yeah.

In which case I understand why he took the time. But it's not a problem for me, so I'm gonna keep doing it. It's only enhancing your life and making it more fun. Today I read, oh, we should read yours. Oh, okay. Because the eclipse. Oh, that has a big impact. Yeah, it's huge, it's huge.

Tread as time lapse eclipse, but phone turns off. Oh God, I'll start believing if it references my failed eclipse time lapse. Oh my God. Don't make it up, I see you scaring me. I'm not, I'm looking for it. God.

It's what you're thinking. This is about the eclipse. Okay. Our struggles give us a unique perspective and maturity, allowing us to turn personal pain into valuable insights that enrich our lives. In this eclipse season, you have an open invitation to transmute the challenges you faced within your home,

family, and sense of belonging into a wisdom that equips you with newfound inner courage. If you find that your foundational sense of safety and security has been lacking, then this is when a greater sense of inner security and belonging is becoming established. Purging, resentment. This toxic emotion tends to disguise itself

as a justified punishment for those who've wronged you, but it only leads to feeling hurt and victimized over and over again. Choose forgiveness this time and see where it leads. Inviting better boundaries. The weight of the world's sorrows is too much for any person to bear and you do not have any imperative to heal everyone.

By acknowledging your ability to guide and support while also having boundaries that prevent you from feeling responsible for the happiness of those around you, you'll avoid emotional exhaustion and others will inevitably follow your lead. Oh my God, no wonder people believe in this story because every one of those things I was able to immediately attach to something

yes, that's currently going on. Yeah, I know. Astrology, I'm back in. I read Adam's thing, I was out, now you read me that one, I'm back in. Wow. I'm dancing around. You're all me that one, I'm back in. Wow. I'm dancing around. You're all over the map.

I'm all over the map. Alrighty. Alrighty. I love you. Love you. ["Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy"]