Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard - Flightless Bird: Costco

Episode Date: February 27, 2024

This week on Flightless Bird, David Farrier sets out to understand Costco, the giant membership warehouse club loved by millions of Americans, a store that now pulls in $64 billion in revenue each year. Farrier meets up with a friend of the show Andy, who takes David inside Costco for his first shopping trip. David is so impressed he signs up as a card-carrying Costco member, before returning with a former staff member to get the goss. Finally, Farrier talks to a staff member who’s been at Costco for a quarter of a century, meeting his wife at Costo, buying his engagement ring at Costco, and naming their dog after the iconic Costco brand, Kirkland. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hi, I'm David Farrier, a New Zealander accidentally marooned in America, and I want to figure out what makes this country tick. Now ever since this show started, I've been getting emails, DMs, and even voice memos about a very specific topic I need to cover, a cornerstone of American culture. It's the most incredible place. It's the first store that my daughter ever identified by name. We love it there they were talking costco and the messages they kept coming in if there's going to be a costco episode please

tip us off to when i'll literally stay up until midnight fucking love costco i have a kirkland logo t-shirt walmart is gross america costco is the ideal America, said another DM. It's $1.50 for a hot dog, and that includes a soda, said another person. Costco is the greatest place in the world. When you go to Costco, you have to do a whole lap. You can't just go in there and look for the thing that you need. You have to go in and see if they've added anything new. You have to walk down every aisle. Oh man,

I fucking love Costco. They fucking loved Costco. And there were weird messages to get because Costco was just a store. Then I remembered how much America loves both capitalism and hot dogs, and it made some kind of sense. I could ignore Costco no longer. The store's website described it as a membership warehouse club dedicated to bringing the best possible prices on quality brand name merchandise. It's one of the largest retailers on the planet, trailing only Amazon and Walmart. But somehow it seems to have crawled into America's hearts the most. Log on to TikTok and there are entire accounts like the Costco Sisters and Costco Finds boasting hundreds of thousands of followers that exist just to document Costco

with the same gusto and influencer documents their diet and workout routine. Costco just started making loaded mashed potatoes. This is over three and a half pounds of mashed potatoes made with Yukon gold potatoes, Kirkland signature butter. I wanted to know what the big deal was. Why were people so obsessed with a place that sells mashed potatoes? Was it the bargains, the culture, or was it just the hot dogs? So get ready to fight for a car park and grab the biggest trolley you can find, because this is the Costco episode. What an episode to get me when I'm just back from New Zealand. So America.

So America. Did you miss Costco while you were in New Zealand? We have it in New Zealand now. Wow. So we have it there. Famously, when it opened, it had a series of disasters. For one day, their whole credit card system broke down. Oh, shit.

And then I think there was a fire as well. So Costco was cursed for a period in New Zealand, but now apparently it's running well. I didn't go to New Zealand Costco when I was in New Zealand. I was too busy out in nature and doing New Zealand-y things. Oh, like real, like being present. Yuck. Horrible. How do you feel about being back home? It's good.

Sometimes the release schedule for the show really confuses my brain because this episode we're recording now isn't going to be out for over a month because you record so far in advance. It gets so confusing. Yes. And then I listen to this back when it comes out and I'm like, oh my God, I just got back from New Zealand then and yet now I'm not. I've been here for months.

That's the joy of when you make a show that has a lot of production right in the middle of it where you have to make documentaries. It makes it very difficult to do on the fly, live. Yeah, you have to be ahead. It's such a weird thing. Well, I'm very excited for this episode. I love Costco, but I've never been a Costco member. Okay.

So you're still not? I'm still not. So arguably, you're not even American yet. It feels like it's part of the deal. Oh, actually, quickly, can I do a pause? Yeah. I wrote down something on my notes. It says today is Groundhog Day.

Again, we're recording this on February 2nd. I don't know what this is. Oh, okay. Genuinely, I don't. You get a groundhog out of the ground and you hold it up. You wear a funny hat. No, no, no. And it tells you when spring's happening.

Nope. So it's about whether the groundhog comes out of the ground or not. And sees its shadow. Okay. And it is about spring. It's six more weeks of winter. If he does see a shadow? I'll look up. Okay. It is about spring. It's six more weeks of winter. If he does see a shadow?

I'll look up. It's one of those funny things because doing the show, there's certain things that suddenly happen like today. I'm like, why the hell haven't I done a whole episode? It just escaped me. And I'm seeing on my Instagram, someone sent me, you know that meme format where it's like a horny message with lots of emojis

in it? Do you know that meme format? it's like a horny message with lots of emojis in it? Do you know that meme format? No. No. Okay. It starts, so it's done with lots of emojis in it. It's like a big group text. What's up, sluts?

It's Groundhog Day. And you know what that means? It's time to slurp down some lap hogs today. Our favorite little fuckable gopher will be looking for his shadow to determine if we get more wet winter or if we move on to sexy spring all the nastiest sluttiest marmot mummies will be at gobblers knob to let that woodchuck fuck right into the inner circle send this to your best knob gobbling acorn juggling thickwood badges if you get back it's going to be a long hard cold dry pussy winter for you if you get five back it's like a chain thing if you get five back it's going to be a long, hard, cold, dry pussy winter for you. If you get five back, it's like a chain thing. If you get five back, you might see your shad hose after all.

If you get 10 back, you'll be getting a warm spring and a warmer load. If you get 15 back, fucks, I don't understand what that word is, will be scurrying into your greasy little gopher hole tonight. Oh my god. All right. So there's local groundhog celebrities in different cities. Okay. Multiple groundhogs.

And they see their shadow every year on the same day, February 2nd. Yep. So if the groundhog sees its shadow, it predicts six more weeks of winter. If they don't, it's a forecast of an early spring. But how do we know if he saw it? He can't speak English. They report it on the news. But how do we know if he saw it?

He has to see the shadow? Or is it if there's a shadow, if the sun's in the right place? I think it's Phil. It looks like this says people in the U.S. tune in to see if Phil or their own local Groundhog celebrity see his shadow? I guess we're asking, is it just science? Like, okay, there's a shadow? Or do we have to ask Phil?

I thought the gopher had to react in some way. I don't know. There's a lot of mystery around it. I think it's just if it's sunny or not out. It's really whether it sees a shadow or not. It's one of the weirdest things. I mean, Groundhog Day I've seen multiple times

I love the movie I love the idea Of Bill Murray Being stuck in a time loop Yeah But I just have no concept Okay next year Flags Bird

Yeah So there is Phil He's been right 39% of the time Since the tradition Started in 1887 He's the main gopher Yeah

What does it mean He's been right I mean He has seen his shadow More often than not How do we know He's been right Predicting a. Yeah. What does it mean he's been right? He has seen his shadow more often than not. How do we know? Predicting a long winter. Yeah, if you're like, I'm missing something here.

I feel like crazy. Does he get a little fright when he sees the shadow? I love this so much. David, you're going to have to do a real deep dive for next year, though. Yeah, I'm going to. Also, I guess I never put too much thought into Groundhog Day. But now as an adult, I care so much about having zero winter. I hate winter now.

You want it to be gone. So now there's a lot of stakes over Groundhog Day. If he sees his shadow, I'm pissed. It's also very regional, the weather. It's very, very regional. It's so specific. It's one of the weirdest. America has these little things, like hot dog eating is another one I want to get into,

just that it's so iconic and unusual. It's because we don't have long traditions, so we have to make fun ones up. Completely. Yeah. It's such an interesting thing. Like Costco. Yes. Like fucking Costco.

So you're not a Costco member. Correct. I love Costco. I've been many times with members. Yeah, you'll jump in there. They let me in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I've lived in an apartment for so long, I just don't have the space.

Once I move into my house, I think I might become a Costco member. Yeah, because everything comes in bulk, right? Yes. So if you get toilet paper, it's going to be a wall of toilet paper. Huge. In a small apartment. No place. Where do you put it?

I went with a friend way before I did this episode, actually. And I got some toilet paper there because it was a bargain. And it's all over the apartment still. It's like some is in this cupboard. Some is in the bathroom. Some is stacked on top of the cistern. Some is under my bed. There's so much toilet paper.

It's horrific. Yeah. And do we get into what happened during the pandemic at Costco? I'm sure. Okay. Well, fuck. I'm sure Costco. Did they lose it?

Did they lose the plot? All the regular stores ran out. So I assume Costco. Same in New Zealand. Because I was in lockdown in New Zealand during our bit of the pandemic. And all the toilet paper. Bread and toilet paper, right? Yeah.

And Clorox wipes. Oh, man, you couldn't find that in the whole world. We really learned about ourselves over that time, didn't we? We did. So we've got to have clean butts. No, Clorox wipes aren't for butts. On the toilet paper. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. You could use them on butts, probably extra clean.

No, don't do that. We are not recommending that. It's chemicals, yeah. No, don't. Don't use it on your butt. They got 10 million more members during the pandemic. Holy shit. Oh my God.

I imagine, yeah, that would have been stressful over that time for workers as well. I imagine keeping up with that demand. Okay. I'm going to play my little audio documentary. And I do want to point out, I do sometimes have quite a deadpan sense of humor and sometimes i say things in the documentaries that in my head are kind of a bit of a joke but because i say them so seriously everyone just assumes it's serious for instance like in this documentary i'm about to play i say that you're not allowed to enter costco if you're not a member

i mean that's not true you can, I don't think you can. I think they check your ID at the door. You can enter. You just can't buy anything. Oh. So you can technically, anyone can wander in. I thought they check your thing as you come in. No, maybe they used to, but the one I went to in LA, you just wander on in.

It's purely at the exit when you're buying things that I get that ID out. Okay. I feel like you didn't need to preface that. If people are coming after you i mean okay i'm feeling sensitive today i'm prefacing everything sometimes i joke about things you know if i get something wrong it's just a joke yeah it's my story and i'm sticking to it all right let's hear it obviously the best way to learn about Costco was to simply visit Costco. But I had a problem.

One doesn't simply walk into a Costco. I'd heard it was a members-only club, like going to the Bohemian Club or Mar-a-Lago for a round of golf. So on a Friday morning, I pulled into what could only be described as a bustling parking lot to meet a man who'd agreed to get me inside. Thanks for letting me tag along on a shopping trip to Costco. Of course, of course. Is this a weekly trip for you or daily?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is a monthly, every couple months situation. Andy Rosen does a few things in life. He has a podcast that a lot of people, including Monica Love, called Nobody's Listening, right? He's also a music producer, and he's a Costco member. And pushing a giant trolley, we enter Costco together, and we're almost immediately presented with a wall of big screen TVs. We enter and we're straight into big tech, giant TVs, exciting things. This is exciting. I know the flow of this particular

Costco. They all have a similar flow. Are they kind of tricky? Like you come here for toilet paper and you immediately come past these giant, exciting products like TVs. Is that sort of the idea? This is always here. Yeah. Yeah. Tech's always up front. Will you be making any purchases while we're here? I'm worried about that. Like I'm not sort of flowing in cash, but I feel like there's exciting bargains to be had for some kind of exciting things, right? Yeah. Yeah. Stuff you need and stuff you don't need. So I get really swept up. Okay. So this is a weird thing. I have to always see how much the hard drives are. I don't know why, but $159 for a two terabyte solid state drive that's a great deal. I realize me and Andy

will get on just fine. I love a good hard drive. I don't want to throw everything in the cloud. I want my data in my pocket and only my pocket and I know the price of a typical hard drive and this is a really good deal. I begin to feel something pulse in my veins. The Costco monster is being unleashed. This all started here in America 48 years ago when Costco's predecessor, Price Club, opened. That was the brainchild of New Yorker Sol Price, who went on to be known as the father of the warehouse retail store. Price Club was just an old converted airplane hangar in San Diego, and started by serving only businesses. But slowly, the everyday American could get in on those bargains, as long as they paid a membership fee.

Then in 1983, when I was about one year old, former Price Club employee Jim Senegal and Jeffrey Brotman opened Costco. And it became the first company ever to surge to $3 billion in annual sales in just under six years. Soon Costco had 206 locations, had merged with Price Club, and they'd launched worldwide. Costco now takes in $64 billion a year. Say you wanted a printer or a TV, would you ever come here just for that? Or is it kind of you tricked into getting those things when you come here for something else? I think it's both, but I personally would definitely come for a single item. And I kind of like a single item Costco trip, which seems insane. Today, Andy's just here for some specific things for his family and is trying not to get

too distracted. I'm mainly struck how big the aisles are and how industrial it all is. There are no bells and whistles here at Costco. This feels more like you're in a big warehouse than, say, a grocery store. And thank God, there's no music being pumped in. I briefly get interrupted by a man who wants to know about my audio recorder. How much of memory do you get? I've just got like a 16 gig card in here. You're using that microphone?

I am. Is this a Sennheiser? But I forge on. Me and 16 gig card in here. Yeah, you're using that microphone, that Sennheiser. But I forge on. Me and Andy have shopping to do. What do you think has been your best Costco purchase of all time? That would be the little giant ladder, for sure, hands down. What the hell is that? You know, not familiar with the little giant?

Oh, it's really worth looking up. It's like a real legit ladder, but it folds in all these different ways. It gets pretty small. It's tiny. Yeah, so it's a little and giant at the same time. But yeah, that's probably my favorite purchase. The weird and great thing about Costco, too, is do you know about the return policy? No.

It's incredibly lenient. You can always bring something back. So, like, I bought a Nutribullet, those little blenders, and it died in, like, two years. Brought it back, no problem, refund. We pass a bunch of PlayStation 5s. They're a great price. I think Andy can sense my growing excitement. Are you, I don't know if this is okay for me to ask.

All right, ask anything. Are you getting in the spirit? Because the last time I came with my wife, we almost got into a thing about it where she was like, I was getting stressed out because I like to go down every aisle and I like to see the surprises. Where she just wants to shop, she doesn't need the Costco experience. No, I love seeing everything. I mean, it's exciting being here. You know, I find this kind of incredible so far.

So I'm happy to sort of roam and see what we stumble on organically. But like, are you getting the fever is what I mean, of like... Scene, yeah that technology area absolutely. Yeah I mean I want a PlayStation 5 and that was a bargain and it's sitting right there. As we walk down the aisles I realize they really do have everything. Fruit and veggies, TVs, dehumidifiers, clothes, massage guns. It's a power bank and hand warmer. This is really hard for me not to get. $19.99, good price. I can't, I can't. That's foolish. Oh, this might actually be my favorite purchase ever.

The battery daddy. Okay, you put all your batteries in this. I have one that's fully stocked and it's my favorite thing at home. I want to like get these for gifts for people because you'd like that, right? How did you come to sign up in the first place do you remember what brought you in here um i grew up my parents had a membership and then we would in college go to lunch sometimes because you get the dollar 50 hot dog and like a slice pizza for a buck 50 this was like a really good three dollar lunch then when i moved to la i got

my own straight in yeah my love goes so deep when you remember there's like an auto program and we've stumbled into this because we leased a volvo once and we were there and they're like do you have a costco membership and we're like yeah and they're like oh great that's another 1500 off it said like no negotiating just straight off and we've gotten that Volvo discount two more times I just got another one for $1,500. As we round a corner I see a man standing there advertising whiskey they have these little sample people all over the store and I'm amazed to think they're handing out samples of whiskey unfortunately they're not he's just there to tell people about it.

Oh yeah it's uh Angel's Envy Bourbon and it's Angels Envy Bourbon, and it's Kentucky Straight Bourbon whiskey finished in port wine barrels. The price is very good here. It's $40, and if you buy two, it's going to be $33 for the one bottle. And the outside store, the price is like $90 here. So you cannot compare the Costco price. No one can.

He's a really good salesman but i move on oh yeah the alcohol section is but yes massive isn't it they're known for i'm not a wine guy but you know they're really known for wine okay this is i'm showing my i'm getting a bottle of baileys awful but one of my um hideous things that i enjoy like an old lady. I've got my Baileys. Andy's been getting all sorts so far. Paper towels and toilet paper and giant bags of snacks and these amazing giant fresh muffins and cheese. There's so much cheese at Costco. My wife went to just the regular grocery store and bought home a big block of pepper jack yesterday and it was $15 where I'm like these blocks are $8. We pass by a bunch of rotisserie chickens. Costco's famous for these chickens. People

have been known to fight over them. They're big chickens and they're cheap chickens. And they're cheap because Costco started their own chicken farm. Everything here is a bargain. I see piles of Logan Paul's energy drink. The stuff is basically crack for children. A whole big box is under $20. So this Prime, if you take this back to New Zealand, it's selling like $30 a can. This is a 15 pack of Prime for $19. If I imported this to New Zealand, I would do better than like bringing cocaine in. This would pop off.

This pile here, how much money is this for your new business? This is millions. This is insane. Eventually, our trip around the store is complete. We head for the checkouts, where it starts to get more feral as everyone converges in the same spot. We chose a bad line. And as Andy's paying for his shopping, and my bottle of Baileys, they start trying to sell him a bad line. And as Andy's paying for his shopping and my bottle of Baileys, they start trying to sell him a membership upgrade.

And what is the big benefit if you go from a regular membership? So right now as you're shopping, you don't get any money back. If you switch the executive, you get 2% back off of everything you purchase here. You'll get in a check every February that's a cumulative of the money that you spent. Usually it can pay for your membership and people have an extra like 50 to shop here. It doesn't work on Andy and they turn their attention to me, fresh meat. This is my first time here.

What should I do? Well, right now we have a deal going on with the memberships. If you sign up, it's only $60, but you get 30 of it back to shop here. So essentially it's only $30 if you get a membership. It's a really good deal. Again, just don't want to pressure you,

but it's a really good deal. No, I mean, I don't feel too much pressure. I mean, $30 is good. No, it really is. And like that, Costco's got me. I'm an easy target. New Zealanders cave easily to pressure. We find it hard to say no because it's not polite. Maybe I will sign up. Can I do it now? It's weird signing up to pay a store just so you can pay them more there in the future. What a weird society we live in. I'm taken to another counter where they take my credit card details and then put me against the wall to have my photo taken. It's a slightly less revolting photo than my driver's license photo, so that's good. Seven and a half minutes later, after

agreeing to sign up, I'm handed my photo ID for Costco. Costco today, maybe Mar-a-Lago tomorrow. And I realize now I can do something incredibly special. I can buy one of those $1.50 hot dogs Costco's so famous for. I go outside to find Andy, who's waiting, and spot a man holding a liter of Baileys. I don't know why. I feel like I go kind of unnoticed most places, but I have been getting a lot of eyeballs for some reason.

A man standing on his own with a liter of Baileys in the middle of the end of Sunday is a very funny look. Oh, man. Okay, let's get some delicious food, because this is something I've heard a lot about, and I do want to experience it. We go and line up to order our lunch. They've recently installed little screens we can order at to speed up the process. I'm going to get a hot dog.

I'd like one of those. Okay, one for you. What's one other thing I should really try here at Costco? I would say for you, the chicken bake has kind of a real reputation, if that's intriguing to you. I'm going to get a slice of pepperoni, I think, but I think that's the most Costco move. After the hot dog. Yeah, if you're keeping it real. And they do desserts here as well. An ice cream cup.

I'm just gonna sample the strawberry ice cream cup. I mean, it's also cheap, isn't it? This is crazy. So we've got five hot dogs, a chicken bake, sliced pepperoni pizza, a strawberry ice cream cup for $15. Yeah. Is there anything else I can get you? And also, you've got, how many hot dogs are there? Five. That's also five soft drinks they're going to give you as well. I will note that some of those hot dogs I got to drop off for the rest of the Flightless Bird team.

I eat badly, but I have my limits. It's like, this would be a great place for like a date, wouldn't it? A Costco date. Cheap. Yeah. I'm exciting. Yeah, maybe. You don't look convinced at all.

Well, just the relationship my wife and I have with Costco makes this a hard question to answer. We sit down on our own little Costco date. Andy takes a big bite of his greasy margarita pizza. And I hoe into my hot dog for some food ASMR. Mmm. Mmm. Good dog. I then dive into the chicken bake. I'd never heard of a chicken bake before.

It was mystery food. Chicken, cheese, bacon, Caesar dressing. I'm buying them. Oh my god, yum. Really good. Yeah. I mean, it's not healthy, but it's fucking delicious. It was really good.

Full belly. I was content. I felt I'd taken my first baby steps towards understanding Costco. When you want something, and you want it big, or a lot of it, you come here. As a single man, I'm not sure a membership was vital, but I could eat some of those rotisserie chickens and there was that PlayStation 5, and who doesn't need a giant hundred pack of toilet paper? Anyway, I'll go home, drink my Baileys, and consider my options.

Thank you so much for, I guess, essentially you've indoctrinated me into the cult of Costco, right? I've signed up. Yeah, you're in. I wasn't expecting that to happen, but Costco, right? I've signed it. Yeah, you're in. I wasn't expecting that to happen, but I get it. I fucking get it. Because it was a good deal, right? $30 off half price.

She had you. It's great. I was legitimately jealous when I heard the deal. Stay tuned for more Flightless Bird. We'll be right back after a word from our sponsors support for flightless bird comes from ag1 now taking care of your health isn't always the easiest thing but it should at least be simple that's why for the last couple of years i've been drinking ag1 every day so it it's just one scoop, mix it with water once a day, every day. And it makes me feel energized and happy. And I just know that I'm getting some of those things with my diet. I mean, I'm just eating two donuts just now.

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That was an incredibly good deal. Wow. $30 for a year's cost membership. Haven't been back. Oh, fuck. Well, I want to go so I can go with you. Yeah, I'll take you. Because, yeah, shopping as a single man at Costco, everything is bulk.

Everything is huge. And it's either you're disgusting because you're just getting these massive things or it's just so impractical. It makes no sense, which is why I've got toilet paper all over my house. It's better for families. However, there are hacks. Like if me and you go together and we get the 14 toothpaste, we can split them. We can halve it. We can halve the toilet paper.

Exactly. That's a really good idea. So let's do that. Okay. That was so fun. I love Andy so much. Andy was a great guide into that world, and his excitement did catch. I mean, I partly blame him for me taking that membership because he got me so fired up about it, especially the tech.

Well, the tech. The fact that you guys called it tech. Okay, so I just texted him. We're going to call him right now. Okay. I want to get his perspective on on his experience there with you yeah i don't know if i like this but it's mean to only go one way the show and then i asked if elizabeth his wife there was a lot of seemed like a lot of conflict between them yeah

about their relationship yeah all right so i asked if she was around because then we can get her perspective i like this and like this. Andy. Hello. We're listening to you on Flightless Bird, Costco. Oh. That's your reaction when you hear the word, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like kind of orgasmic. It's a little sexual.

No, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, no. Costco, yes. Hearing that you're listening to me at Costco is a more fearful opposite of that. Well, it was incredible. You were such a good guide for David. And I wanted to get your perspective. Did you feel good about that? Did you feel like he really caught the Costco bug. I want to get your honest truth. I feel very happy that at the end of it, he got a membership that felt like a really big win. Oh, yeah. I had a lot of fun doing it. But I also, in retrospect, I have this nagging worry that

I might have gotten into my Costco tunnel vision, which I kind of just like I'm in it. And I know I was trying to point things out, but I think I just kept pointing out every good deal, which is what I'm doing in my head when I'm there. But I did have a fear that I might have been too tunnel vision. And like when I've gone with Elizabeth in the past, I almost look like scared while I'm in there or anxious. Well, that's what I like. We got in the brain of someone in that environment. You were really excited about a lot of the deals.

I love that you have to check out the hard drives. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I went to a different Costco recently, and I couldn't find the hard drives. It was really, really wound me up in a bad way. That's really upsetting. Okay, is Elizabeth around? Yeah, yeah, she's nearby. Do you want me to put you on speaker?

Yeah, let's get on speaker. Hi, hi. Hi, Elizabeth. Okay, so we just listened to Andy on Flightless Bird for Costco. He was a gem, but it did come up a couple times that there's some tension in the marriage around the topic of Costco. And I just want to explore that. Okay. It's a big contentious. The money we spent on couples therapy around Costco.

Wow. You just think it's too much bulk? What's your beef with it? Well, I think that this all really started when we were living in a very tiny house that had in between a college fridge and a regular fridge, small freezer. We had two little babies, lots of shit in there. And Andy came home with a Costco thing of waffles. Oh, shit. And I almost lost my mind because I was like, what are you thinking? And that's been kind of an ongoing thing. Like there's this salad spinner he bought at Costco that's on our counter right

now. And I'm happy to have it, but I'm like, where are we putting it? So bulk is part of it. Also, the whole experience stresses me out. I don't get the joy. And so on his birthday last year, when he wanted to go to Costco, I agreed and I was trying to be in my best behavior, but it turns out I let him down and we learned I just should not go to Costco with him. Okay, this is good. Sometimes you learn your limits, right? Mm-hmm, yep. It's all about learning your boundaries and yep.

Andy, did you feel like, it's like when someone is singing you a song and they're staring to get your reaction. Is it that feeling? David's nodding. He knows what I'm talking about. It's like when you're watching a TV show with someone and you really want them to enjoy this bit. And so you stare at them for their reaction.

Yes. Is it like that? Oh, like I'm with Elizabeth there and I'm hoping she'll be like excited and on my wavelength. But then she's not. Exactly. And then that causes, it's like for her, she's like, oh, I'm supposed to be excited. And then you're like, oh no, she's not excited. It's kind of complicated though, because when I'm there, as she pointed out, I look scared. She doesn't see me getting joy because I am so kind of overwhelmed, but I really love it. But I don't think I'm giving off vibes of enjoying it while

I'm there, sort of, if that makes it more complicated or makes sense for you. Maybe it's like how people who are very anxious love horror movies, because it's controlled chaos. It's like controlled fear. I think you just nailed it. Wow. And I do love to find the deal, though. Yeah. It's so great.

I went the other day and they had Sharpies on sale. That was like a big win. And guess what's fucking on our kitchen counter right now? A huge, massive thing of 10,000 Sharpies. 10,000? Wait, are you serious? No, no. How many are there?

50? I don't know. Wow. Yeah, yeah. It, are you serious? No, no. How many are there? 50? I don't know. Wow. Yeah, yeah. It's just like a 32 count. Wow. That is a lot. That is a lot. Oh, this was a joy. I just wanted to check in, see how everyone's doing.

I hope this doesn't cause a fight for the rest of the day. I tend to do that for couples in my purview. It's our anniversary today. Oh my gosh. Off to Costco. Happy anniversary. They planned Groundhog's Day for it?

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, did the groundhog, it's a groundhog somehow connected to your anniversary? Yeah, just in the sense that it every day married feels like it's the same. No, I'm just kidding. That's just a coincidence. We did watch the action at Gobbler's Knob

this morning. Gobbler's Knob. Wow. See? Oh, man. They knew. Yeah, you guys are in the know. Alright, well, I'm going to let you guys go, but this was really fun. And Andy,, man. They knew. Yeah, you guys are in the know. Alright, well, I'm gonna let you guys go, but this was really fun.

And Andy, thank you for joining David. Oh, it was a pleasure. I hope I was a decent tour guide. Oh, so good. Alright, bye guys. Bye. It was really good getting into her head around that. Right? Yeah, that was great. Because I think a little bit of this,

I hate, God, I don't like doing this, but I wonder if it's gendered a bit. Like, does Costco lean male? That's interesting. I think in my mind it might just in that men, this is so gendered, but men like big at 10,000 Sharpies and like bargains. And a deal. A deal. I'm just thinking of like bargains and a deal. I'm just thinking of my dad obsessed with the deal and he'd invest so much time into the deal.

And I'd always be going, your time is worth money, dad. You have invested days into this, getting this deal. And I think women tend, again, painting with such a white brush, but women tend to nest. They create the home and the environment often. And so when it's crowded with 32 Sharpies, it can feel like it's actually offensive. You're messing up the space that I work to make safe and perfect for us. I do think it's the ultimate example of a shop where you go for one thing and you end up coming back with something else. But not like a supermarket where you get an extra bit of chocolate, like a chocolate bar. You come back with a PlayStation 5 or something or 10 massage guns or all that sort of shit.

It's just such a ridiculous version of that. I think it's good I don't have a membership. Also, the idea of shopping as a couple. I guess people do go as couples because they're dealing with so much stuff the trolleys are huge yeah maybe it's a couple exercise i imagine when you shop you don't want a date with you or like someone with you or do you do you shop with people all the time well it depends on what kind of shopping if it's grocery shopping solo no but i hate grocery shopping so much.

Oh, wow. That was very visceral. I just outsource it a lot these days. You already get it on the apps. Yeah. It's like the apps are four. I just hate it. But if I'm going clothing shopping or any other-

You want buddies. I love buddies. You want a buddy there. I like solo too. I like both. I just love it. Yeah, okay. I think we should try Costco in the future because I am curious about this.

The next part of the doc, I wanted to get into the mindset of the costco employee because it sort of journeyed into the minds of someone shopping there i wanted to know what it was like for the people working in this what i assumed would either be like an amazing place to work or a hellscape i wanted to find out as i finished my bottle of bailey's more delirious from the sugar than the alcohol, I realized I'd explored Costco from only one angle, that of the Costco shopper. But what of those who work day in, day out at Costco? What do they think of the place? According to their website, Costco is often noted for being much more employee-focused than other Fortune 500 companies. By offering fair wages and top-notch benefits, the company has created a workplace culture that attracts positive, high-energy, talented

employees. I needed to see if this was true, so it was back to Costco. A different Costco than last time, this one was bigger. I was here to meet former employee Naomi. I remember when I worked here, there was someone who was just taking off their clothes in the middle of the store to try on clothes and I was like sir please you can't take off your pants here. There's just a maybe a certain level of decorum that can get left at the doors at times. Naomi had left a few years ago for a lifestyle change but before that she was a copywriter at Costco's corporate office and before that she'd worked in a warehouse where occasionally people strip naked. I figured a former employee would talk openly with no strings attached.

So I started out they used to have this program and I'm not sure if it exists anymore but it was a college student retention program so basically on like summer breaks and spring breaks and whatnot I would come back and work in the warehouse. And that was truly anything from pushing carts to cashiering to folding clothes. Whatever needed to be done in there is kind of what I started out in. And then after school, I came back and worked at Costco Travel, which is kind of like a subsection of Costco, very different part of the business.

And then moved over to the marketing slash copywriting side. What was Costco like as an employer? Because just talking to people colloquially, I keep hearing all these stories about how they are a really good employer and stuff. Is that accurate? I think so. I will say I've never felt more stable at a job than I felt at Costco. It's really hard to get fired from Costco, essentially.

Did you try? You'd have to really do something kind of effed up or steal or take bribes. Like that's basically like the only few ways that you could get fired. So yeah, that and they have astonishingly good benefits, I would say, as well. What's an example of a benefit a staff member would get at Costco? I think just even compared to, I mean, healthcare obviously comes with a lot of different American jobs, but I would say the quality of the healthcare at Costco was really, really high, really hard to compare to other places.

I'd secretly been hoping for some dirt on Costco, but honestly, Naomi just seemed very Costco positive. I think a mantra at Costco is always do the right thing, which is kind of a rare thing, I think, in corporate America, sticking to like what would be right by the member, right by the shareholders, you know, right by employees. And that's kind of the moral guiding light for the business decisions of the company. When she was there, employees got time and a half on Sundays. And if they went overtime, they'd get compensated really well. With that and other benefits, people who work at Costco tend to stay at Costco.

So you'll see a lot of employees, if you look on their name tags, it'll say like how long they've been employed there for. And a lot of times you'll find people who've been here for 10, 15, 20 years. So I feel like when I say I'm a seven year employee, that's really almost nothing compared to a lot of folks who tend to stay with the company for their whole career. The supervisors are wearing red vests, but all employees should be wearing a name tag. And then it should say their position on the name tag and then also if you see silver badges that's the 25 year plus employees. Naomi says she was always amazed at the fun unexpected things planted throughout the store. So in amongst the chickens and toilet paper there are spas, cars, gold bars, hemorrhoid cream, coffins. Birth to death you're

covered. And then there's all the ancillary things here too. You can get cheap hearing aids and there's an optometrist here, eye doctor and all. And she says people put trust in the brands that end up here including Costco's own brand Kirkland. From working at Costco I know that the background in order to get a Costco signature product is that it has to go through several different phases of tests in order to be as high quality a product as the top name brand item in that same category. She says her Costco tip is just keep an eye out on the prices because they all mean something. If you look at the prices on the signs, if it's an odd price, $16.97, for example, $16.97 as compared to like $16.99, that usually means that the product is not going to come back for a little while. So it's the last bit of stock. and sometimes they will discount it even more also if you see like

asterisks on the signs as well or if it's highlighted yellow like all of those are things that I look out for where if I'm interested in a product and I see those things and then I was just kind of on the fence about buying it I'd be like okay I think this is the last time it's going to be here for once now or never yeah exactly I thank Naomi for a time and as we leave we pass the food court. And that age old story comes out about those cheap hot dogs. When the new CEO came in and took over, I think the founding CEO was like, if you raise the price of the fucking hot dog, I'm going to kill you.

I think stories like that, that surface on the internet and do the rounds every few years. Those are the things that keep Costco lore alive. We love good stories. And that's a really good story. Before I wrap things up, I needed to track down someone who's still fully in the cult. Someone who still works there. And so I managed to find a man who's been working at Costco

for a quarter of a century now. I've thought about this for many years and it became ingrained in my DNA and I realized that Costco itself, it's more than a brand, it's a lifestyle. So my name is Brett Bauer and I'm in the digital membership programs at the corporate office.

Originally, he was going to be a firefighter, but then he applied for two very American jobs. And so I ended up getting hired at Costco and Trader Joe's the same day. And my parents at the time said, hey, and they're longtime members, right? So they said, what about five years, 10 years down the road? Both fantastic companies, you make that decision, but think about career possibilities. And so ultimately, that's where I decided to stay with Costco. 18 pulling shopping carts and nearly a quarter century later, I'm here at the corporate office, two states away

from where I started down in San Diego, California. So making that decision 25 years ago, how that would have changed my life's trajectory. 25 years is a long time. It's a long time to be anywhere, let alone at one job, let alone at a Costco. But for Brett, it's his life. Like it really is his life. I'd met my wife at Costco. She was a seasonal employee at the time. I filled out my phone number and gave it to her on a Costco register receipt, you know, started dating and I bought the engagement ring when it was time for that from Costco. We sell diamonds, very, very, very high quality diamonds. And then once we graduated to get a fur baby before we had kids,

our dog, we named it Kirkland. As in Kirkland, the Costco brand. So to recap, he met his wife at Costco. He got the engagement ring from Costco. He named his dog after Costco. If Costco is a cult, I guess this is it. And like any good cult, they like to keep things in house. As of 2024, they have a new CEO, Ron. He's been a Costco employee for 40 years, starting as a forklift driver. Brett's worked alongside him. I look

down at my membership card and wonder if this is now my culture too. Being so far away from New Zealand, I often feel quite dislocated from what I think of as my culture. Now I'm in America, maybe this is it. A culture of shopping and rotisserie chickens, coffins and $1.50 hot dogs. How do you feel about Costco after listening to a man that's worked there for 25 years, met his wife at Costco, got the diamond ring at Costco? I love it. It's kind of incredible, right?

I love it. It is a full culture. Yeah. It's all in. They have amazing business practices. I think that's incredible in a very capitalistic country. They're still looking out for everyone. I was trying to get Goss the whole time. That's why I talked to a former employer.

I'm like, you're going to slip something in about the behind the scenes nightmares. But everyone genuinely seems very enthusiastic, which is just really rare. Yeah. It does embody some old school kindness. They trust that if you need to return something, they let you, right? They're not like fighting back they're good to their employees i like it the more i think about this the more i realize how much my dad would enjoy it because he is that bargain guy and the gadgets and the things and

it's just going into a place where literally you're getting hemorrhoid cream one second a cough in the next diamond ring for your fiance who you proposed to at Costco. It's just everything in the one place. The one criticism I would say that I found was the car park was fucking stressful as hell. Yes, parking there is rough. You need, I think, to choose when you shop there. There's certain times I imagine weekends are quite bad, but I found it so incredibly stressful. Yeah.

That's the one thing. When we go, we need to pick the right time. Okay. Because we might not even get a car park. Even leading up, I was like, I'm looking on my Google Maps. Am I close to Costco? I realized I was because there's a huge line backed up the streets trying to get into the car park. You went during the week.

It's crazy. At noon. Not at a weird time. Really nutty. Whoa. But it is a good Bailey's bargain. I'm bringing it for the Bailey's. Yes.

I want that chicken bake. Are you serious? I really am. Because it's okay. I would love to have a chicken bake with you at Costco because it is frigging delicious. And the thing about it is that you can buy frozen chicken bakes inside. So if you love the chicken bake that you have at their little cafe outside, you can, of course, buy them frozen. And I've got a neighbor, my neighbor, who's a Kiwi as well.

She's got a family. She's always at Costco. And she finds certain products that are just hot right now. So we had pizza night at her house. For a while, there'd be like a certain pudding that she'd have. And that's because that was the hot thing at costco currently at the moment well there's a dip it's a spicy not spinach artichoke dip but in that vein it's from costco right it's so good a friend of ours always has it, and it's incredible. They do have some items that you can only get there that are so good,

and the muffins are so good. Oh, Andy lost it at the muffins. Yeah, there's so many muffins. And they look, they're really big, freshly baked muffins, really hearty. Yeah, I think you just leave Costco feeling like you've had a bargain and you've also got something that you're genuinely excited for like a salad spinner or whatever Andy got it is but it is also so American and that it's so much stuff and you're getting a deal and you got to get it and and you have to own it and then you get home and it's like oh now I just have so much stuff and am I ever going to

use any of this probably not the thing with stuff found, because going back to New Zealand, I was packing up all my stuff. And it's weird because as a human, you always want to get stuff. And I know it's just the trick of society. But when I go out, I love getting stuff. And I think I love the stuff. I'm like, I love that thing. But then it's been sitting in New Zealand.

And when I'm in America, I don't even think about it. Yes. I don't care about it. I know. And it's such an odd thing. And what you were talking about, when you're in a small apartment, you don't get stuff because you have nowhere to put it. But then when you move into a bigger space, there's this thing in your human brain which is like, see that empty wall? Gotta fill it up with stuff.

Yeah. Let's get a thing. And I know in some other countries, it's a lot more minimalist, but we're not minimalist. And also that scandal with Marie Kondo, where she was getting us all to throw everything out and minimalize everything. And then she gave this really amazing interview where she was like, my house is actually a mess. Yeah, I think she, I mean, look, I don't think that's a scandal. I think she came up with a good, which she did like a good plan for organization and she's just admitting like i don't always stick to that yeah i'm glad i call it a scandal

oh no i think it's amazing it's honest and it's great yeah and i just really love that while we're all freaking out about minimizing and it's like how does she do it it's like well she does her best just like the rest of us we're all doing our best we are chicken bake i'm excited to go with you this was a really fun episode thank you andy and when so talking about the weird time what with the show i bought you in those costco hot dogs last year now we ate those yeah they're a bit cold weren't they by the time i bought them that was the problem they were good but they were cold we'll do fresh chicken bake yeah and it's gonna be amazing i can't wait and i the pizza. We can do it all.

Okay. I'm excited. This was fun. You're a lot more American. You have a Costco membership. I don't even know. That's 99 points. Thank you.

I have something American that you don't have. Exactly. You're more American than me in this one area. But I like it. Maybe when we go, they're going to sign you up for that deal. I'm the opposite. I'm like, Oh no,

it's on sale. Not for me. You're that rare thing in America. I love it. I'll pay full price. Don't give me a discount. Is there more money for this? Is there a more exclusive deal?

That's more expensive. Oh man, this was fun. Okay. See fun. Okay. See ya. Bye.