Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard - Flightless Bird: Football

Episode Date: July 19, 2022

This week on Flightless Bird, David sets out to understand a game that simply doesn’t exist in New Zealand: American Football. He tries to figure out America’s most popular sport and asks why over 100 million Americans watched the Super Bowl. After watching the Super Bowl for the first time, David travels to Seattle to get schooled by NFL Hall-of-Famer Walter Jones, who was drafted by the Seahawks in 1997. He discovers what a locker room smells like and why some football players love to chew gum so much. Walter also opens up about his theories on the existence of extraterrestrial life. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I'm David Farrier, a New Zealander who ended up accidentally marooned in America, and I want to grasp what makes this country tick. Now back in New Zealand, our main sport is rugby. Two teams of 15 people, an oval-shaped ball and lots of rucking, mauling and tackling. And of course scrums and the hucka. Our national team is the All Blacks, and it's all anyone ever talks about. Here in America, rugby barely exists. No one seems to even know what it is. Instead, you've got football, which is confusing because in New Zealand, football

means soccer. In America, it's something else entirely. This confusion shouldn't be all that surprising. American football evolved out of soccer and rugby, the first ever football game taking place 153 years ago. Since then, it's become the most watched sport in America. More than 101 million Americans watch the Super Bowl this year. That's more than the entire population of the United Kingdom, Australia, and New Zealand combined. And it helps explain why the NFL made about $12 billion last year. 45 million Americans will bet on games this season to the tune of about $12 billion. But to me, it's still a total mystery.

I mean, the ball is the same shape as rugby, but instead of running around in skimpy shorts and t-shirts, everyone is dressed like some kind of gladiator. So grab your helmet, shoulder pads, and a protective cup to place over your genitals. This is the football episode. I only know football from, what was that TV show? Friday Night Lights. Friday Night Lights.

Friday Night Lights. God, it's a good show. Kyle Chandler's great. I'll watch him in anything. But I feel that's the only thing I know about football, which is a problem because this country loves it. I need to ask you who your favorite character is. Look, this is embarrassing, but I don't really remember much of it except for Kyle Chandler being a cool coach.

The rest of it kind of blurs, and I feel that's all sport in my mind. I'll see it, and then anything I learn just sort of instantly disappears from my brain. Okay. So it's just Kyle Chandler, who, as an aside, was in this amazing show called Early Edition. Did you ever watch it? Yeah, he got the newspaper early. He got the news early from a cat. I think that's what drove me into journalism.

Oh, my God. They're rebooting. They're rebooting early edition. They're bringing it back. Of course you remember the cat portion of that show. That was so good. He'd be like, and he'd open the door and there was the next day's news. It was such a good concept. Oh my God.

All right. I feel like Friday Night Lights is pretty accurate to a lot of hometowns, a lot of small towns, especially like Southern small towns who feel like their whole everything is based around their high school football team. I was thinking about this and your love of cheerleading because we don't have cheerleaders. Fans are on the side, but there's no official team cheering them on. When you're an official team beyond high school, there'd be maybe a cheerleading team, but there's no official team cheering them on when you're an official team beyond high school to be maybe a cheerleading team but it's i think only for our basketball team oh no and maybe this is embarrassing i know nothing about even new zealand sport we do have some cheerleaders but not

in school so school games are much more low-key and college games are much more low-key than what you have here i see that's no. We don't like to have fun. You guys are not fun. No, we take things very seriously. One of my fondest high school memories is we would have to make the banners for the football game. So there was this like huge, huge banner that we would paint like the week before. In school time or like after school? After school, after school.

That was an after school activity that you would all do. The cheer time or like after school? After school. That was an after school activity that you would all do. The cheerleaders, we had to do it. So you would cheerlead for football games? Exactly. So I was on the competition squad, but we also had to cheer sideline football. So that is this feeling of being behind your school and like, if you cheer hard enough, the team will do better do better yeah because you want them to feel empowered like people are rooting for them and dancing and wearing small skirts for them yeah it's like motivational exactly they look and they see this like amazing thing going on okay but real quick about the banner so they're huge and you paint them and the cheerleaders before the games

start someone gets on each side. You hold up the banner and then the football players run through it. Oh, like crash through and sort of tear it down. Oh, that's exciting. Yeah, it is exciting. It's always a little scary for the people holding. Absolutely. Because you get jostled.

Yeah, and suddenly everyone's falling out. This is chaotic. And this is all across America people are doing this? Yes. Or just at your school? No, no, no. If you have a good football program, you have banners. So Dax says that there is a football team. Legally he can't say anything, but he is in the room. And there is a college football team that releases a wild animal onto the field and then they have to wrangle it. A buffalo.

This is wild. That seems crazy because a buffalo would definitely rip up the field. It would. I feel like the whole thing is the grass has to be smooth so players don't trip over. Suddenly you've got a wild animal tearing up the grass. The Super Bowl was not that long ago. I was near downtown so I went to the Staples Center. It's not called the Staples Center.

It's like the Crypto Arena or some ridiculous name because they had big screens up. And I thought maybe I could sort of learn a little bit about football via that. Oh. But I spoke to a bunch of people down there just to kind of get their take because I figured the Super Bowl was like a good in for me to learn about the culture a little bit. Definitely. I go to all the Super Bowls by the grace of God. I go to all the Super Bowls, me and my God. I go to all the Super Bowls, me and my family. What makes football such a good game to watch?

I think it's the energy, it's the camaraderie that you experience, it's the rivalries from state to state, from division to division, from coast to coast. It's like a collaboration of all of those things. Hey, what's up New Zealand? It's lovely to meet you. I'm trying to understand this game because we don't have this game in New Zealand at all. I was wondering if you could explain to me the significance of what is going on right now.

Man, it's the greatest game in the United States, all over the world. Super Bowl is the biggest event ever. What are the main rules I need to know to understand the game? The main rules is to get down there and score a touchdown. When they score a touchdown, the one that scores the most touchdowns will be the winner, of course.

Everyone here, you know, are strangers, but then we become one. We become family just watching the game regardless of who we're voting for or who we're rooting for. It just becomes a good time. Do you guys know much about football? So, I dated a football player. That was kind of disgusting, but anyway. What's your favorite snack to eat while you're watching the Super Bowl?

Anything edible. The biggest things in America would be nachos, wings, fries. Those are the staple foods for any type of game. If I was back home, I'd do little slider burgers, hamburgers. There's a lot of finger foods. Energy down here is pretty amazing. In L.A., it's live and die in L.A. It's the place to be.

Wow. People were fired up. Yeah, everyone was so fired up. And it seemed to me to be as much about food as watching the game. A hundred percent. So Super Bowl, it really does bring everyone together because there's three major components. No, I'm sorry. There's four.

Okay. There's the game. There's the halftime show. Yeah. There is the commercials and there are the snacks. Yeah. There is the commercials and there are the snacks. Yeah.

Okay, so there's four big pieces that all together, everyone is drawn to at least one of those four, if not more. I'm three out of the four. Football's the one I'm not into. Always intrigued by the ads. Love the food that I ate down there because I did have some wings and they're really good. Yeah. But the football, no interest whatsoever. You're not interested.

But you like the commercials, you like the snacks, and you like the halftime show i can only show was incredible yeah i mean especially this year wow i loved it i tried to get into the game but apparently very expensive tickets couldn't swing it i tried to talk my way and did not did not work at all yeah did not work at all while we were on the road doing our live show, Rob hooked us up with going to see this meet. Forgive myself. We both. You sound dumb.

Football is such a mystery. It's so funny having two people that don't really like sport all that much talking about sport. It's true. It's a funny situation to be in. I don't want to get roped in to your dislike. I enjoy it a lot. Oh, to be clear, I'm not cynical about sport. I appreciate people's love of it.

And I want to learn about football. My frustration is that the rules are just so confusing and so strange. I feel I can watch a basketball game. It's very clear to me who the players are. I can see the numbers. I can see what they're doing. I understand how the scoring works. When I'm watching football,

everyone's so far away. It's stopping and starting all the time. And I just find it really difficult to follow. And that was my difficulty getting into it. It seems like with basketball, they made up the rules first. They're like, let's invent this game. And they made up a bunch of rules and then people stuck to it. It seems like with football, they just started making rules as people were playing. Absolutely. So it does feel crazy. And it does feel like some of them are just like, oh, that's a blue card because. Yeah, it doesn't feel natural.

It doesn't feel like this naturally unfolding thing. Exactly. So, yeah, I spent a lot of time talking to people outside the Super Bowl. And to be honest, this documentary, I just thought I would like to stay talking to them because I thought they would be the best people I could learn from about football. So I just stayed. I'd found myself at a sports bar in downtown LA.

Everyone glued to the Super Bowl. We travel over a thousand miles and we ain't even at the actual game. That's how important this is to us. I'd come here to try and make sense of this game, and was instantly impressed by how enthusiastic everyone was. It was the Los Angeles Rams versus the Cincinnati Bengals, and spoiler alert, the Rams won. Very last minute, very hectic, and there was a lot of screaming. But during the game, I realized everyone here was too heavily invested in the game to try

and explain the intricacies of football to a clueless Kiwi. I'm here for Joe Burrow. He's hot and he's single. All I really picked up is that football fans are incredibly loud and eating and drinking is a big part of the game. We do wings, nachos, a lot of alcohol. I left the bar in a daze, full of too many medallos. To crack this puzzle of football, I realized I'd need to talk to an expert,

someone who knew the game inside and out, someone who could communicate not only the confusing rules of the game, but the culture of football. Who better for the job than someone who'd played in the NFL for over a decade? I know so little about America and about sport as well, so I'm sort of hoping to be educated by you. Always be nice to the big guy. That's all I say. Always be nice to the big guy.

I think that's good life advice in general, and standing next to you in particular, I feel it now. I'm standing next to Walter Jones, an absolute giant of a man. I'm 6'2", he's 6'5". And while I'm a tiny stick of a human, Walter is huge. He weighs about 325 pounds, almost two of me. I feel like I'm standing next to a bear. Fortunately for me, a very friendly bear. Walter was drafted by the Seahawks in 1997, starting every game he played. 180 games in total. Did you see that? Walter Jones knocked him to the ground, almost knocked his helmet off while he was doing it.

Walter's known as one of the best tackles ever to play the game and is a member of the NFL Hall of Fame. And right now we're standing next to each other in the Seahawks locker room in Seattle. This is their private, this is where they get ready. You know, they don't want a lot of cameras in here. So anytime you get a chance to see this, it's pretty amazing. I was super surprised at how big this locker room is. I was expecting it to be like really like hemmed in and small. This is huge. Well, you got to realize that, you know, there's like 15 of my sizes in here. So got to be a bigger locker room. What is it like in here before a game? What is the vibe? I think everybody's in their own little space. You want to get ready to go on to playing the

game of your dreams. So the locker room is pretty amazing. Did you have any kind of rituals that you would go through before take me through what you do? I used to lay my outfit out before I wore it. So I tell people all the time, you want to see how it looked before you put it on your body. So I always did that. I used to learn that from Deion Sanders. I have no idea who Deion Sanders is. All I can imagine is Walter carefully laying his outfit out in front of him, like a schoolgirl preparing for prom. You want to see how your outfit look before you put it on, so

I will lay it out on the floor. Stay tuned for more Flightless Bird. We'll be right back after a word from our sponsors. Now a word from our sponsor, BetterHelp. Shouldn't really need to say this, but it's really important you take care of your mind. You go to the doctor routinely for checkups on your body. Why would you not do that for your brain? Your brain controls everything. The brain's the main part. Without the brain, things start to get really derailed. So yeah, I think it pays to keep an eye on it.

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off your first purchase of $100 or more. To claim, visit article.com slash bird and the discount will be automatically applied at checkout. That's A-R-T-I-C-L-E dot com slash bird for $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more. Each player gets their own locker, and I'm struck by how tidy they all are. Their uniforms hang up perfectly, everything immaculate. Walter walks me past his old locker, and on the wall is a great big photo of him beaming down at us.

He retired in 2009. Does it get smelly in the locker room at different times? I think the worst it gets is probably doing training camp because you're practicing more. You're getting like two or three practices at the end of the day. I know a lot of guys who don't want to change. They want to stay in the same clothes throughout the whole day. Just outside the locker room is a hallway

where we're confronted with a wall of snacks. I feel like I'm at the grocery store checkout and it's just heaps of different candy and chewing gum. Except the gum collection in front of us is way bigger than any grocery store. I had no idea football players loved chewing gum this much. Apparently it increases blood flow and boosts your brain activity. But honestly, I think it's probably just good at calming pregame nerves. What we're walking past now, I was particularly impressed with. This is like some sort of gum heaven. I know guys have their own flavors, what they like. So I guess they got to make sure they got everybody flavors in here.

So it's pretty cool though. There's no good guys like to snack before the game. Some guys like to chew gum throughout the game. So you got to have a lot of candy for everybody and what they like and what they want to eat on. Were you a gum chewer when you played? I wasn't doing the game time, but I totally get why guys I'm more of a you know Some some Gatorade and stuff, you know, this is my favorite here. They just got these here though. So Hi, truth

Hi, choose a great. That's it. That's a great candy. Yes. These are so good These are these are very addictive though, so I love those. As an aside, haichu is this amazing Japanese candy that's now apparently made its way to America, and Walter Jones loves this stuff. Do you have, like, a ritual of what you're eating before a game? Because surely that's pretty important, what you're fueling. You're just back here, like, throwing back haichu candy.

On a Sunday, they do breakfast. They do, like, a brunch. So you have a choice between breakfast and brunch. So me personally, I would try to get everything in. I get my protein in, eggs, hash brown, steak, potatoes. I do spaghetti all in one place. So you get it all in in one sitting, then you get ready for the game. I'm fairly certain if I ate that on the day of a game, I'd throw it all up on the fields. But I guess part of Walter's job was to be big. You don't get big by eating salads all day, do you? So me personally, I had to have a little weight on me. So I wasn't more watching what I eat as making sure that I make weight on Friday. So but then you got the little guys that have to be able to get up and down the field. So they have to wash their weight and be healthy all the time.

Walser opens a giant door and we're in a giant white hallway. It goes on for what seems like forever. And it's surreal because it's dead calm. I imagine on game day, this place is hectic. And then suddenly the corridor ends and we're standing on this giant fields. The fields. Apparently the home crowd here in Seattle is known for being incredibly noisy. Like they create seismic activity out here.

Seahawks fans have made seismic history again. During yesterday's playoff win over the New Orleans Saints, fans shook the ground so much that it registered as an earthquake. It got so loud one time they now refer to it as the Beastquake. Does the noise get you? Like, it's so loud out here. Do you sometimes just sort of want everyone to shut up so you can concentrate on what's going on? You know, for me personally, it's fun for me because it's a good feeling to have. To be able to, when you leave, your head is ringing from the noise. I'm thinking after a

good game or a big game, when you wake up, your ears are still ringing. So that's a good thing, that telling you that the Seahawks are playing good. People just get so hyped for football, and I think part of it has to do with the fact that football games are special. Like with baseball, each team generally plays 162 games a season. That's so many games. With football, a regular season is just 17 games. That means each of those games really matter. And heading towards the Super Bowl, as teams get eliminated, tribes of fans have to unite together, eventually backing just one of two remaining teams. With all that in mind, it's surreal being in the stadium today, because apart from some people cleaning, it's dead quiet.

Kind of spooky, actually. But Walters says the hype of running down this corridor into a crazy crowd never got old. Being part of this team and being able to be a starter, to be able to come out on this field, I able to do it for what 12 years so anytime that they intro the offense you look forward to I think that's the offensive line you get about right here and they have the smoke going you know that's the offensive line you see all the skilled guys they come out they be flipping and jumping but we like this line we're like all we gotta do is get out there where everybody is at.

You know, they got the smoke blaring, so you're trying to see that. But it's a pretty cool experience. It must be the best feeling running out. And I hear, like, your crowd as well is, like, particularly loud, right? Oh, they're very loud. They're very loud. And you always want to see who get the loudest cheers. It's never you going against a guy, but I think all guys, when they want to come out of here,

they want to know who's getting the loudest cheers. So to be able to be a guy, but I think all guys, when they want to come out of here, they want to know who's getting the louder cheers. So to be able to be a part of that, that's pretty cool. I haven't even begun to talk about my actual connection to football because I went to a college where football was everything.

This was your life. University of Georgia, we won the national game. Congratulations. I'm so proud of that historic achievement. This year. A memory that's really stuck. No, this year.

Oh, right. This year we did. This year, okay. Yeah, and okay, this is embarrassing, but I did not. I was in a bad mood, so I didn't watch it. But it is such an experience, those college games. You wake up at like 5 or 6. You have to claim your tailgating spot.

And you set up your grill and your tents. And then you just are there all day. You'll grill, like a barbecue. Yeah. So you're cooking down there as well. Oh, yeah. You're grilling hot dogs and hamburgers. Americans love grilling.

They really do. Any excuse to grill and you're grilling. Ding, ding, ding, beef episode. Absolutely. So, yeah, and then you're just out there all day. You're drinking all day and you're eating all day and it's hot out and so you're sweaty. And at Georgia, the girls dressed up. You wore dresses.

Such customs around all of this stuff. I know. Like so many customs. When you watch the Super Bowl this year, Rams, LA, so exciting. By the end, were you excited? I got excited. Yeah, no, I can't not. And I think what I hadn't had before, I'd watched bits of games on a TV

or like clips on the internet back in New Zealand. But being there, the volume is so loud. You can't get away from how excited everybody is. And that does transfer over. And it's weird because even though I didn't know what was going on, you kind of get to know because whatever team is yelling the loudest and everyone dresses up, like it's clear, like what team is what, like fan. You just get drawn into that hype. Like it's hard not to. it's part of the intrinsic draw what one of the people said is like everyone kind of comes together it's weird because two things are

happening you're very divided it's very tribal because you're for your team but it also feels unifying in this major way and we just don't have that many opportunities for that and also it's what someone said this isn't a political thing and it does feel like one of the few rival things where it's not political it's just pure it's just like a very basic rivalry it is basic but huge because it's the most massive sporting event ever i'm sure there's some interesting psychology about the contagion of fervor and crowds. Yes. Yeah, totally. I mean, it's catchy, that stuff. And also you just feel like a real dork

if you're there just sort of moping around. It's impossible to do that. Anyway, back to me and my oversized buddy, Walter. Back to embarrass myself and humiliate myself some more. This is deeply embarrassing to say, but I'm from New Zealand. I know nothing about this game at all. So it's kind of, I feel awkward talking to you because I feel so stupid.

You've got these, like all these sports you can get into in America. Like why was football the thing that you were like, yeah, this is my thing. He's gesturing at himself and his giant body as if to say, what the hell else would I choose to do for a living, you frigging idiot? I got introduced as a freshman in high school and I fit the building. You know, I had the size. I could do it at a very high level. So for me personally, that's the reason why I got in. And then there was an opportunity for me.

You know, I come from a family of eight with a single mom. So I looked at it as an opportunity to change my life and change my family life. So that's the reason why I got into it. And it was offered to me. But still, again, you know, it takes a lot of hard work, a lot of determination to get to this level. It's a full-time job year-round to be able to be prepared and be ready every season. And how long did you play for? I play for 12 years, all with the same team.

So it's pretty cool. Unlike my lazy body, which sits in front of a computer all day typing with my soft, pathetic hands, Walter's body has been through some shit. How important is the padding? Because in New Zealand, right, we've got rugby. We don't wear anything. You know, we've got no padding.

What's the deal with all the padding? I'm thinking when you first start playing, it's all about the padding. But I think as you learn the game, you start taking stuff off. It's kind of like, I look at it as like aerodynamics where the less you have on, the better you move. So I think as you get good in this game, you learn, okay, I don't need that because I don't need that for what I play for. But you still have to wear some protection stuff to protect your knees

and your thighs and your shoulders. Those are the most important parts that you need for playing football. But I think as you play this game, you see some guys out there with their knees showing, so I think it's all about your position and what you have to do to protect yourself in the game. What's the biggest injury you sustained in your time playing? I had three shoulder surgeries. I had two knee surgeries. And I think my knee surgery

is what called it quits for me when I was like, I'm done with this game. So it was pretty cool. I'm not entirely convinced it's pretty cool, but I'm glad Walter had such a good time

playing this game. And it's about at this moment I'm struck by the realization I don't even know what position he played. And I don't even know what the positions are. I came here to learn, but keep getting distracted by questions about gum and if the locker room smells or not. I played offensive lineman. My job was to protect the quarterback

and open the holes up for the running back. So you got five guys that call the offensive lineman that protect the quarterback. So out the left tackle. That's what would be the most important position on the field because you're protecting the quarterback blind side because most quarterbacks are right-handed. So basically when they're throwing the ball, they got their back turned

to the guy that's coming back here. So my job is to protect him and keep him in. Look, to be honest, none of this made sense to me at all. It didn't at the time and listening to it back now,

it doesn't help either. This game, I don't even know how long the games are. The games are 60 minutes long, four quarters at 15 minutes a quarter. So usually a good game is probably 55 to 60 snaps in a game. That's a good game.

To score, you're either getting like touchdowns or you're kicking it through the post. To get across the goal line, you get six points. Then you kick it through there. That's a PAT. That's called point after a touchdown. So you get six points and then you kick it through the field goal that's another one point but then you have field goal that's when you don't get in the end zone but you get

four downs to get in there if you don't get in there you kick a field goal you get three points so that's how it works so one point sometimes three points other times but mostly just six points i think that's how it goes. You know, once you figure it out, it's pretty easy. How much of the game is like planning out a scheme before each game and like just reacting in the moment to what's going on? I think a lot of it's planning, but you know,

you got to be able to multitask. You got 35 seconds to figure out if the quarterback changed the play, and then be able to get the job done. Stay tuned for more Flightless Bird. We'll be right back after a word from our sponsors. Flightless Bird is brought to you by Indeed. No one has a business like yours with all its strengths and challenges.

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Like, back in New Zealand, the All Blacks are known for doing the haka before the game, a ceremonial war dance that freaks the other team out. No, no! We don't know where we are! Also in rugby, no one wears helmets, and so you can read everyone's expressions and emotions. In football, it's all helmets, faces covered up. Some people out there will be trying to get to you. They'll be like shit talking.

Oh, totally. Yeah, there were some guys out there. You know, I remember playing against a guy and his whole highlights was all about him talking noise. And I'm like, oh my God, I got to hear this guy all day. But, you know, I got in the game and, you know, once you hit him in the mouth, you keep him quiet. So once you figure that out, you go out there and you have fun. Fun.

For me, a nerdy, clumsy, cowardly Kiwi, football seems the opposite of fun. I guess I'm just not built for it. Even the antics off the field sound a bit too intense for me. Oh my God, I slapped my starting quarterback. Yeah, like the time I slapped my starting quarterback? Yeah, like the time Walter slapped the starting quarterback to wake him up. A story Walter recites like a cheeky, naughty child. I smacked him pretty good.

But the next morning, he had my whole handprint on his face. And they were talking about he might have had a little slight concussion. Because I came down pretty hard, but I thought it was... As Walter's been telling me this story, his eyes have shifted down to his giant hands. They're like big meat gloves. He clocks this and jumps at the opportunity. And then, you know, if you ever want to slap, you know, you just want to feel what he felt, you know, we can always put that on camera, right? I feel okay.

I feel okay. No, no, those are big hands. Cold too? Why is football, like, the best sport? Because He's got a cold tooth. Why is football the best sport? Because it's so American to me. You know what I told a long time ago? People say you can hit somebody and get away with it. You know what I'm saying?

As a kid, they tell you you can't hit nobody. So this is where you can come out here and hit somebody and get away with it. And it's fun. I think maybe I'm finally beginning to understand this mysterious sport. I thank Walter for his time. And I think our time together is over, but he gestures that he has more to say. I keep recording,

wondering if maybe I'm about to get some kind of football scoop. You believe in UFOs? I totally believe in UFOs. You believe in UFOs? I think there's something out there going on, but I don't quite know what. I know, right?

Something going on. Something going to happen. Where do you get this belief from? Like, what's your... I don't know. I think I know, right? Something going on. Something going to happen. Where do you get this belief from? Like, what's your... I don't know. I think it's just like the universe is too big for us to only be the only... You know, I would really like to know that.

I'm always asking high security people about UFOs all the time. I got a brother in the military. I always ask every FBI, if I get, hey, the UFOs? I always say it all the time because hopefully one day they might see me talking about it. I, hey, the UFOs? I always say it all the time because hopefully one day they might see me

talking about it. I'm talking about the UFOs. I'm not talking about the FBI. I'm talking about the UFO might come and visit me and say, hey, you want to believe this? They won't nobody believe me though, so.

To be honest, I felt I followed this conversation about alien life more than I followed the conversation about football, which probably doesn't bode well for me fitting into American culture.

But I'm going to keep trying. It's the New Zealand way. I really liked Walter a lot. He was kind of great. The thing that you can't get across, obviously, talking about is how big he was. Yeah. He was so big. So when he was talking about smacking another player in the face while he was sleeping,

so intense i could hear the fear in in your voice when he was getting excited about maybe slapping you he got really excited fame rob was there like taking some photos and so i think he got very excited he was like oh that guy must be filming so i want to hit this guy i'm surprised rob didn't push it he's such a rascal he was, he was encouraging things. Yeah, of course. I felt I got some good insight because with Friday Night Lights, I feel like I got a bit of the behind the scenes. But actually being in that locker room as well and feeling that energy and getting to hang out with him, it did feel kind of special. At the Super Bowl party I was at, there was a lot of us there, 25 or something, let's say. And all of us were rooting for the Rams, obviously. And one person, one person was rooting for Cincinnati, and it almost felt unethical.

Like the amount of volume and hype and rowdiness in his face. It just felt mean. Yeah, down where I was watching, I feel like Cincinnati had the best outfits. It's like the orange really cut through. Oh. And so I kind of ended up, despite watching it in Los Angeles, kind of siding with them. Like, I really like those fans. I thought they were really neat fans.

I liked all of them. Okay, you know they didn't pick the color. That's true. It's just I like the color. It's all about, like like what color is the best i really love that okay also while we were listening deon sanders oh yeah who is that mystery man deon sanders i'm gonna read his wikipedia okay nickname prime time and neon deon is a former football and baseball player and currently the head football coach at jackson state he played

in the nfl for 14 seasons as a member of the falcons oh yeah that's my team whoops here just got excited uh san francisco 49ers dallas cowboys washington redskins oh my problematic name they're gonna change it to something eventually at some point but for the last like two three seasons they call them the football team it's's like Boaty McBoatface. What's that? Is that a New Zealand character? The UK opened up naming a ship to the public. You should never open anything up to the public.

So they ended up calling this boat Boaty McBoatface. Oh, wow. Oh, my God. Which is so good. That's great. This guy is very famous, clearly. He is very famous. When he was brought up, I laughed because I was like, oh my God, David doesn't know.

And then I was like, oh wait, I don't know because I thought it was Dionne Warwick. Oh, right. Okay. I thought you were talking about Dionne Warwick. It's a whole different person. Yeah, it's Whitney Houston's aunt and also was a singer. And so that's not Dionne Sanders. What I loved about Walter the most is that he was a

really terrifying size but he also did seem like the most gentle person ever. It was a weird dichotomy because his physicality was terrifying because he's just huge and powerful. Yeah. Mixed messages. Mixed messages. He'd giggle a lot and everything was cool. Truly I don't think we can have a conversation about football ethically without bringing up CTE. I don't know anything about Walter. I'm not saying he experiences or will experience CTE. No, no, no. It's a thing in football that people suffer from.

And now becoming more and more and more apparent. You're going to get it. There's a lot of brain hits. But with everyone talking about it more and more, it feels like people are putting their kids in football less. Right, right, right, right. But then it is, as Walter was saying, like many sports are an opportunity for success that they might not have otherwise. In New Zealand with rugby, I feel like it's a sport that it doesn't really matter what your background is. Socio-economconomically you have a chance

if you're physically great in that space to do incredibly well so it's like kind of a level playing field yeah in like rec league football a lot of white kids are less likely to go into it now oh now they know the potential for brain injury yeah but if you're in a marginalized group and you're disenfranchised, you're weighing that. Right, to succeed in this crazy way. Yeah, versus... Versus my brain might get injured and I'm going to be suffering like 30 years down the track. Exactly.

Yeah, right. And white kids are like, I'm just not going to go down that path at all because I'm going to take this other pathway. They don't have the luxury of deciding to, I'll just go, I guess, get a law degree instead. Then that's guaranteed to me like that yeah totally he had like a lot of siblings single mom and that was his pathway out of that and not even out to help to to help his family to pass that down yeah i assume the nfl is like forking out for some of these injuries and stuff like other payouts they're changing the rules so there's hits that are illegal right they're trying to minimize the amount of it yeah gotcha the thing in these sports like rugby and football and you can enter mma these are like physically really taxing sports so it's like what are the boundaries between being healthy on your brain and playing the

actual sport because eventually without hits it's not going to be a fun game for people to watch right exactly so what do you do i mean walter seemed happy his body was a wreck his whole thing was still like best experience of his life all worth it totally fine i get it when you have an experience like that especially on a team there's just nothing like it yeah did you ever play any team sports? I played basketball for a little while. I wasn't very good. It was extra stressful because my brother was literally the coolest person at school. And he was like in the top basketball team at our school, at high school. What's the top tier team in high school? Do you have like varsity and junior varsity? Oh, no, we don't have any. Oh, okay. No, you're just like, I think you're just like the first team or something. It's like numbered. God, that's so American.

Even within high school sports, we have an echelon. We have the best, which is varsity. And if you're a freshman on varsity, you're the best. You're all petted against each other. Yes, always. Or even like at prom, you've got like prom king and queen. We don't have that in New Zealand. You all go in even, you know, it's very strange. Wow. But at school, I was terrible. I mean, I played the saxophone, so I was like walking around the school with like a case all day. You can imagine how cool that was. And my brother was with the coolest girl at school, best basketball player in the school. He's back of the bus.

I'm like front of the bus. It was like a true nightmare. So yes, I played basketball, but it wasn't a great experience for me. Oh my God. I was stacked against me. true nightmare so yes i play basketball but it wasn't a great experience for me oh my god i was stacked against me this is my favorite part of this show because every episode we just learn a little bit more about david farrier and i love it i was in band and i wasn't good like the saxophone isn't a good instrument to play you need to be really good at it to even like begin to play it publicly it's not like the guitar where you can kind of strum along

and be a bit useless but still kind of get away with it. A saxophone is like a deeply offensive sound. The reed's disgusting. It gets full of spit. You've always got like a smelly reed. That's awful. And this big case that kids will steal and like run away with. Sorry about glasses.

I had braces. It was awful. Yeah. But I mean that's why maybe sport,, I have a reaction to it that is negative because I associate it with that experience. Yeah, I think a lot of people do. As a fan, I think maybe there's a potential for me to get back into it. Okay.

I mean, I like that. But I do think football players, people feel very insecure around them because they're so masculine by the most stereotypical standard. I think what made it okay with me and Walter was I was intimidated until that moment he was like, I choose my favorite candy. And he got so excited about it. It's such a delicious candy, but him, it's like this little pink candy. And there's the idea of him like throwing those back before a game. It just made him completely innocent and unscary to me. Is it like a taffy?

Yeah, it's like a little chewy taffy. Yeah. When he's explaining the rules, you called it a scheme. A scheme. Is that not what you refer to it as? I think you mean like the plays. The plays. You scheme before a game.

You get the big whiteboard and the pen and you draw out the scheme for the game. It's true. Yeah, it just sounds like a mischievous yeah exactly so i feel like i learned a little i learned that what did i learn i didn't learn anything about the technical aspects of the sport but i learned that i think i like the culture of it yeah it seemed fun i like the locker room snacks and i like the snacks are the best this idea of like a chance to like escape whatever your background is to just be like some big superstar. It's like very aspirational. It is.

And that's very American. It's so American. It's all America is like aspirational. The dream. It's the dream. I am upset that no one, when they talked about the snacks, brought up dips. Oh, right. Dips are like the Super Bowl thing.

Like chips and the wings you're probably dipping into things as well. Yeah, wings and ranch, buffalo chicken dip, their seven layer dip. Ranch is something that we don't have in New Zealand, whereas here it's so delicious. I'm loving having ranch on things. Dipping a chip into ranch is very novel. In New Zealand, you're only dipping it into tomato sauce. The idea of dipping it into ranch is novel and I love it. Wait, I'm sorry.

You're acting like dipping into tomato sauce a chip is. Are you talking about salsa? No, tomato sauce. That's a thing? Yeah, like Wattie's tomato sauce. First of all, this is like football where everything you're saying is getting weirder and weirder by the second. No, you call it ketchup. Oh, ketchup.

Ketchup. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Ketchup. Okay, that's still incredibly rare to do in America to dip a chip in ketchup. I've noticed no one's dipping it in there. That's all we do in New Zealand. So I'm learning your ways. These are little things I'm doing to fit in.

Okay, I get the ranch, not the sauce all right and i want you to try french onion dip this is what you do you take a sour cream and then you put two packs of lipton's french onion soup pack i know this we have a similar thing okay in new zealand it's a different brand but it's exactly the same recipe. All right. Very familiar, very delicious, really tasty. At this past Super Bowl, I did a taste test. I was in charge of the French onion dip.

I brought a sour cream one, and then I brought a Faye Greek yogurt one. I can't taste the difference. You blindfolded it? Well, I didn't blindfold. I just. Yeah, you just like went in there and tried it. Yeah. It's not a fair test. You've got to blindfold. Else else you know what you're having and that internal bias will creep in it's just in two bowls yeah but you know which is in which bowl obviously when you're dipping in

i did but no one else did so i was asking like do you guys taste a difference but for you that doesn't count if you know you've got to like not know the thing your internal bias you're such a rule for so you should have been a football player so i was playing this is a kid playing If you know, you've got to not know the thing. Your internal bias all comes through. You're such a rule thower. You should have been a football player. This is a kid playing the saxophone at high school. While his cool brother played basketball and got all the girls and stuff. I think you earned yourself three or four American points. Oh, thank you.

I'm getting closer to that magic score of 100%. Yeah, you're getting there. I'm sitting at about five actually you know what if i just have to be really honest i think this was negative four backwards i want i want to be positive here but when i'm really looking back at our notes yeah i put deon warwick this has been a mess i feel like i've taken you backwards and being an american i feel like i'm extracting you from your deserved reward of being an American. I'm sorry, Monica. It's okay.

We'll try again next time.