Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard - Heidi Klum

Episode Date: February 5, 2024

Heidi Klum (America’s Got Talent, Project Runway) is a model, television host, and producer. Heidi joins the Armchair Expert to discuss the freedom of nudity, how she got into modeling in a small town in Germany, and how she learned to make her face not sweat. Heidi and Dax talk about dealing with negative feedback early in their career, what some of her creative outlets are, and what the energy of doing a live show feels like. Heidi explains how different she is from Howard Stern, her love of creating elaborate Halloween costumes, and what it was like making a song with Snoop Dogg. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What if I'm like Anna Wintour now? And you always wear shades inside? Yeah. That'll, I think, diminish our connection when we talk a little bit. I can see you great. That's great. But I can't see your eyes at all. Really?

And I get a lot of info from your eyes. Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert. I'm Dan Shepard. And we're mid-conversation with Monica Padman. Please continue. I'm just wondering if I should maybe adopt an Anna Wintour, now that I have Jacques-Marie Mage sunglasses. Second intro in a row. Maybe I wear them all the time.

And you said that you didn't think you'd connect with me. No, we should keep it in the beginning. I don't think you need to catch everyone up. Yeah, it'll be our first ever BTS intro. Wow. Do we agree on that creatively? Could be cool. keep it in the beginning i don't think you need to oh yeah it'll be our first ever bts intro wow do we agree on that creatively this is what a lot of the guests on armchair anonymous experience like we're signing on we're waiting for their audio to connect and we are mid mid heated debate conversation and they hear they get in on it yeah they drop right in the middle of it. Today's guest was so fun.

I didn't see this coming for no reason. I had no negative opinions. I just didn't. I couldn't have anticipated what an absolute riot this would be. Oh, she's a gem. She's an absolute gem. Heidi Klum, a supermodel, television host, producer, and a hardcore businesswoman. Her credits include Project Runway, which ran for 65 years.

Loved it. Germany's Next Top Model, year 85. America's Got Talent, season 20,000. And she is here to promote a new season, AGT Fantasy League. Yes. Where they get to actually pick the acts that they want to support and it's kind of a shootout.

That airs Mondays on NBC and the next day on Peacock. You know, get ready to pee your pants. We got a little pushback on a recent Armchair Anonymous because we said you could listen to it and they said you should have worn for crying, which is fair.

Oh. The Paralympian athlete. That's not what we warn about. I know. They need to know that. But I guess in response to that, I think warning you might piddle your pants. Oh, you think there might be some piddles? Yeah.

So if you're like, you have a weak bladder, incontinent, you know, just be mindful to evac before this episode. Wow. Yeah. You should work on your pelvic floor if that is the case for you. We don't have, we just don't have time to get back into that one. Please enjoy Heidi Klum. Trip Planner by Expedia. You were made to have strong opinions about sand.

We were made to help you and your friends find a place on the beach with a pool and a marina and a waterfall and a soaking tub. Expedia. Made to travel. Who is it? Delta. Hi! Congratulations! He's an ultra-expert Who is it? My little brother. Delta. Congratulations! What happened? What are we congratulating?

Can we offer you something to drink? Would you like a coffee? We have water. No, I don't drink any more coffee. Oh, good for you. This was my New Year's resolution. No! I gotta hear all about it. I need to drink more water.

I don't love it. I don't like water either. My New Year's resolution was No. I got to hear all about it. I need to drink more water. I don't love it. I don't like water anymore. My New Year's resolution was no water. For the past six years. No, because I never drink water. Yeah. You don't drink water? No, I hate it.

But I've been trying to drink it more. I don't think that has a flavor. Oh, so we get to get squished in the corner. You guys have the recliner. Well, it's cozy. I just sat there for an hour and a half. This recliner, my grandmother had, literally. My grandmother, who I would always drink schnapps with.

Peppermint schnapps or something cinnamony? No, no, no. Schnapps is big in Germany, yeah? Yes. Yes, and people mix it with shit, right? Like Coke? No, it would either be like a plum or a pear. Oh, I like that. And when you drink it, you know, you have the fruit in your schnapps,

and then usually there's like a little toothpick with a little flag on it. And then you would rub the fruit, put a little fruit in your mouth, chew around on it, put it down the hatch. Yeah. And then you put the fruit down. Oh, my gosh. It's a whole ritual. Yeah, it's a lot of pageantry. So when you buy the pear with the schnapps, it's already in the bottle.

So everyone is like, how does the big pear get into this bottle? But literally what they do is they hang those bottles on the tree and then they grow in the bottle. What a genius idea. I want that. Did you feel laser beam by her eyes just now when she was making direct eye contact with you? Yeah.

No, no, no. It's just because I don't see well. I don't have my glasses on. I'm like a mole. You and Monica have two things in common I detected already in my research. Both of your eyes are useless. Yes. My eyes are also bad.

And I'm a judge. Let's cut that out. You can see perfectly. I can sort of feel the act. All the judges were normal and they panned you and you had fucking binoculars. Well, that's why I always sit there with binoculars. You do? Yeah.

Oh, my God. That was a joke. No. You're using binoculars on this show. i always sit there with binoculars you do yeah oh my god that was a joke no you're using binoculars on this show always okay back to germany you know opal you grew up around opal the car company yeah i know i used to work with them and whenever the german technicians would come into town and we would all be hanging out they did a lot of curious things around drinking they combine their coca-cola with wine they combine co combine Coca-Cola with beer sometimes. They put potato chips in their beer. I love beer with lemonade. Or beer with Coca-Cola.

That's very good. Wait. You see, you thought I've been lying. Well, you mix or you take a sip and then you take a sip? No, no, no. You mix it. You mix beer and Coca-Cola. The Germans got Coca-Cola.

I mean, for me, beer is like mother's milk. Liquid gold. It's like a meal. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it has hops and all that stuff in it nutrients for you it's sustenance

that's a good word that I don't know okay how much does a pullover cost? how much is it? very expensive oh because this is cashmere

very thick cashmere this is very expensive see because now she answered about her sweater I know because I always ask people how much their pullover is but it never makes sense

yes no this one is expensive but it never makes sense. No, this one is expensive because it's cashmere. So Jennifer Love in my office, who's been working with me, I want to say 19 years now, maybe could be 20. Heidi, different than the Jennifer Love actress we know? Jennifer Love Hewitt is who you're thinking.

Not Hewitt, just Love. I shouldn't say just, but it's Love. I've been working with her and she listens to you guys religiously. That's nice. So she told me that we're going to sit in your attic. Is this going to be bad for the sound? What is it?

I heard something pop up. Everyone's so used to it. My wife's going down into the gym to probably blast her buns. Oh. Would you like to go watch for a second and return? Yes. Take a little pause. I can maybe think of a few ideas.

No, but she told me that we're going to be sitting in your attic and that it's cold. Do you find it to be cold right now? No, not at all. So what you're telling me, and I'm flattered, is that this outfit is intentional because you were fearing the environment would be frigid. Yes. Okay. I know why she says that because she does listen and I'm always cold in here. But Monica's cold in the sauna.

We were in the sauna on Saturday for 28 minutes and she didn't have one bead of sweat. I did. It's her Indian blood. I don't sweat either. Really? Well, we're the sauna. We were in the sauna on Saturday for 28 minutes and she didn't have one bead of sweat. I did. It's her Indian blood. I don't sweat either. Really? No. Well, we're the same. It's because we don't drink water. I know. We did just start with that. You need to have liquid in order for it to come out. I know. I gotta remember the second thing.

There was another thing because I think it's funny. And I immediately was like, oh, that's Monica. Yeah, you said there were two things. There's two things. I'm confident it'll come to me throughout this conversation. But there's another really good one. Is it about sweaters? I'm also wearing a big sweater. No, but now they're coming hot and fast because we know about the sweaters.

We know about the being cold. We know about the not sweating. I can tell my face not to sweat. Can you do that? I've never tried, but I'm going to try now. No, because I have to sometimes. Because when I'm working, you don't want powder on top of powder. Or the same way when it's cold.

Like yesterday, I went to the Golden Globes and everyone was shivering. It was freezing. But then when we go onto the red carpet where they take your photos, I can totally make them go back in also. Oh, really? Yes. Yeah, everyone looked pretty uncomfortable when they were being interviewed. No, but I can literally do that with my brain. I tell my sweat glands in my

face not to come out and they won't. So then I will sweat profusely under my armpit, but no one can see it there. So I do it only in places where no one can see it. That's magical. It is magical. Is this something you practice or just discovered you could do? I discovered, I guess also because people are like, wow, you never sweat. And I'm like, well, I tell myself, I guess not to sweat. I have a question about your sweat. When you do sweat, does it smell? Well, when I'm nervous, it's terrible. Okay, that's common for people.

When I'm nervous, it is so bad that I'm constantly checking around. I'm like, do you smell this? Because I smell myself. It's so bad. It's a type of like pheromone getting released. I've heard about this. So when I'm nervous, It's so bad. It's a type of like pheromone getting released. I've heard about this. So when I'm nervous, it's terrible. Okay.

But also I eat, I don't know, one whole entire bulb of garlic every week raw. It could also have something to do with that. And the no water, back to the no water. So the stuff that's coming out of you is like the last bit of moisture. It's not good. Guys, whoever is listening to this, don't try this at home. Drink your water, two liters a day. Take your garlic sparingly.

I love that you figured that out, though. What a breakthrough. The moment you're like, oh, wait, I have total control over my face sweat glands. Talented. Okay, so I've figured something out already in just this first five minutes of meeting you. Because you wonder to yourself, how on earth does someone become a supermodel? What is this? Tons of people are pretty. And for you, and I know you already know this about yourself, your eyes have many different shapes and you're in total control of

them. You can smile with them. You can do a lot with them. Would you agree? Very dynamic. Yes. This is the quintessential ingredient. Apart from the eyes, is there anything else you can see? Yeah, maybe like the perfectly symmetrical face. I think, and this is how big of a compliment to your eyes I'm going to give,

they're so dynamic that if you were nude, I'm not even sure I would check anything out. Wow. I'm so locked into the eyes. Should we try it? Let's get a shot.

Oh, no. You have no idea what the can of worms you just opened. See, I have no problem with nudity at all. She's a nudist. Yeah. Oh, you are. I opened. See, I have no problem with nudity at all. She's a nudist. Yeah.

Oh, you are. I am. Well, I grew up nude around my house with my parents being nude and us going on vacations where it's FKK, which is Freie Körperkultur, which means the freedom of your body. Körper is, I guess, corpse. Körper, corpse. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That Latin.

Yeah, corpus. And Kultur is culture. It's how I grew up. We would go on vacations with our trailer or tenting in FKK vacation places. And so I would always see people nude on the beach, nude swimming. So I grew up on that. For me, that was never weird. You can't go back.

You can't all of a sudden be modest about it. I am living here or going to places obviously where you can't be nude, always follow the rules. But mentally you can't make yourself all of a sudden self-conscious. You already grew up that way. Yeah. Okay. We are going to do a lot on Germany because I'm obsessed with Germany. You are? I am. The food? Well, I love the bread and the butter. It's the best butter in the world. And the soups are so good. The cleanliness, everything runs on time. You're in a 600 year old village and it somehow is cleaner than the city we built two years ago. There's so many things to be fascinated.

The engineering, I'm a gearhead. But my first trip there, I was with my mother at 16. I wanted to drive on the Autobahn. We were staying at a hotel, and I was like, I'm going to go swimming. She wasn't in the mood. Went down, went swimming. Then I'm like, I'm going to hop in that sauna. Got in the sauna.

Everyone bare naked. I'm 16. But here you don't. You wear bathing suits. Hotel swimming pool. So I, because I'm a pervert, I left, took off my shorts and came back. And then I sat there at 16 bare naked. And I was like, oh my God, this is the most thrilling thing.

I had to talk myself out of getting an erection. As you would imagine, I was so excited. And could you do that? I was able to keep it, you know. See, you have the power too. Not quite as, or maybe more impressive, actually. Like I have with my Swiss ones. But also then as a 19-year-old went there with my girlfriend for a couple months, and yeah, you go to a public park in the middle of Frankfurt, and you're on the grass, and you look around, and many of the families are bare naked. Yeah, you see a lot of topless people.

That's standard. And then a lot of just straight up full nude. I just came back from St. Barts. We were there for two weeks, my husband and I, because the kids went with their dad to England. And it was a French island. I can't wait to take my top off. And it's literally not a sexy thing or like a sexual thing it's a freedom thing for me

also because i don't want to have tan lines and there is also a feeling of the sun going on your full body instead of having something on i know maybe it sounds stupid or when you go in the water and you swim you have a certain kind of sensation and, it's not a sexual sensation, but it's very freeing. When the breeze is now tickling every part of your body as the wind blows by. That's also much nicer without any clothes on. Yeah, everything is much nicer without clothes on. Except for like working in a coal mine. Or a fire.

Yeah. But you know, on this beach too, there were so many couples, like an older couple. I want to say they were maybe in their late 60s. Husband and wife, they were laying on the beach with nothing on. And then there was a gay couple on the other side that were just reading there and having their lunch on their blankie. There's like no shame. And is there any fear?

I was just going to ask you. A fear of what? Predators. Oh, not that. Creepy crawlies going places. No, she meant sexual predators. Yeah, I did, but I also met. No, she meant sexual predators. Yeah, I did. But I also met. Before we get to sexual predators, you are famous. And so if you're nude on the beach.

I have a bottom on. I know, but topless, there's people with cell phone cameras. People take photos. They do. And you just go, fuck it, whatever. I feel like you have to be who you are. I agree. I'm not doing anything wrong.

I'm going to a place where you're allowed to. Also, I'm not where there's like thousands of people and I'm just like, woohoo. So you park your car, you go down the trail and then there is the beach. We go to the furthest part. Most people that go and they want to sit right there where it's easy. We always walk another half a mile where there is nobody and maybe like three other people. And then I feel like, okay. You make an effort and then you go, my fear of whatever happening,

I'm not going to let it ruin my life. And also, I feel like in most places it's not allowed. So then they put a sticker over your breasts in any case so they don't show it. Oh, that's a good point.

Yeah. Certainly not on Instagram. You won't be able to show it. No. That's where we're all seeing all of our... In Germany, they would show it

without censoring. But here, they would probably put a sticker on the nipples. They're very afraid of areolas and nipples. They are. But only women's. Men's are fine. Yeah here they would probably put a sticker on the nipples. They're very afraid of areolas and nipples. They are. But only women's.

Men's are fine. Yeah, they're fine. They're encouraged. But do you think, again, to be a little generous, do you think part of it is this fear that it'll get like used for... Masturbatory? Yeah, like sexual predators. You mean that, okay, the question is,

do you fear men will look at them? Is that what you're asking? Yeah, but mixed in, was there ever a fear of that? Because you were young when you were out. Oh. It'd be like if you took the girls. Okay, so this is great. I'm so glad you just took it here.

Because what is so fascinating is I think it is our puritanical nature that actually makes us perverse. Yeah, I actually agree. I don't think you have the same problem in Germany with creeps fucking walking around cameras and trying to get pictures. In general, I think that there's bad people everywhere as there are good people everywhere. So who knows what people do when they see a photo? Sometimes people, they see a toe. Now people are really into feet. I know there's a whole wiki.

I do a lot of questionnaires on Instagram because I have all my functions turned off. So sometimes I will do like, ask me a question. And then a lot of people are always like, show us the feet. Show us the soles of your feet. Show the toes. Go closer. And so who knows what people are doing with that. Yeah.

It's my foot. I don't care. Yeah, yeah. What they're doing when they're looking at those photos. I don't either. Monica and I have had this conversation independently in the past. And I'm like, if a guy's masturbating to me in a movie, I don't care. I guess I'm kind of flattered by it.

It doesn't bother me. I also don't think about it. Yeah, I think maybe that's smart. But I'm surprised you don't think about it because I feel like models, it's so forward-facing, the aesthetics. She couldn't have been hung up about it and then been an angel for 13 years. She would have had to have gotten past all that. I would have gone topless down the runway. It would have had to have gotten past all that. Oh yeah, like I never cared. I would have gone topless down the runway. It would have not bothered me.

Do you ever, when you're at Disneyland and go on the log ride in the flume, will you remove your top because it's water oriented? I'm scared to go down that log. I don't like going on those types of things. I go with my kids, but that's as far as I would go down. That other hoopty hoopty thing that I will not do. Like I'm scared of those things.

Yeah, that's fair. How many times have you been there and people are stuck up there and then you see them walking down on the sides and you're like, yeah, no, I'm not doing that. Oh my God, I've never seen those. She sees it every time she goes. We'll have four kids, so we go all the time. Listen, if you're at a Disney or any amusement park and you see Heidi, do not ride the roller coaster because it's going to break and she's going to witness it. Back to Germany. You were there till 1892?

Yeah. And then I went to New York. Virtually the same age. Before we get to New York. I was born in June 73. And you? January 2, 1, 2. Oh boy.

This is going to be long. I can't say 1975. Okay. So I'm older than you. Yeah, but by a minute. Scheiße. By two years. Scheiße, that's shit in German.

I knew that's the only one I know. Ich bin sehr glücklich. Ja. Wieso sprichst du denn Deutsch? Wieso? I took it in ninth grade for one semester in high school. And these are the five things I remember. How to count to 11.

How much is the pullover? When's your birthday? Wann hast du dein sportstock probably didn't do it right no it sounded good what do you miss about germany you obviously love it here i've heard you talk about it but what things do you miss i mean not enough in order for me to go back there i love living in america and being here and i would love to have my family here my parents are there my brother is there with his wife, his two kids. They just had a baby too.

So you miss all of that, obviously. But other than that, I love it here more. That's why I never went back. But when you go home, what's the thing you're most excited about? Like, oh, I got to get, right, the pretzel bread. No, I love knudel, which is a potato dumpling. So it's made out of potatoes. In my family, they would shred the potatoes,

put an egg in it, salt. First it goes into like a pillowcase. They put all that mush into the pillowcase, close it, and then it goes into the dryer. And from spinning of the dryer, all the juice of the amkijinat, all the water from the potato comes out. This is, wow.

And then it's like, This is weirder than the Coca-Cola and beer. And then you mush them together. You can also put a little sausage in the middle or you could just do them like that and then you boil them in water. I feel like a lot of our listeners are going to go home and try this.

I'm going to try it tonight. I'm going to ruin our dryer by packing it full of potatoes. Well, I mean, people put like sneakers into the washing machine or whatever they put in that poor washing machine. You can also make your potato dumplings. That does sound really good.

In 1992. Well, no, no. First, mom's a hairdresser and dad is an executive at a cosmetics company. Exactly. I started with makeup and all of that stuff at a very early age. I did also my, how do you call that? It's practicum in German. It's like when you have for three weeks, you have to do a job.

Like an internship? Yeah, like an internship type of a thing. It's mandatory in school. An apprenticeship? I don't know. We don't have that, unfortunately. They should have that here because it's great. It's mandatory.

So for three weeks, you have to find a job. You want to take something that you actually like doing so you can really look into it. And I went where my dad was working and he had me do everything from being on the conveyor belt. So I see how the perfume is going into the bottle. He wanted me to see all the different kind of things that it entails to make a perfume or a compact powder or a cream or whatever it may be. And then I watched the production of it all, then the marketing of it all. You know, let's say you wanted to make a perfume meeting with the noses. So I learned all the different types of things from beginning of wanting to make a product until it then goes into the stores.

So for three weeks, he had me do all of this stuff. But I feel like it's an enormous blessing as far as what you wanted to pursue to have a father who actually knows the value of a model and appreciates that line of work, as opposed to, I don't know, your mom and dad are the co-presidents of Yale and you go, I'm going to be a model. And they're like, no, you're going to be an academic. I feel like this is almost the perfect set of parents for you to pursue this. Yeah. Even though, you know, I entered this modeling competition, only my mom would go with me to this modeling competition.

My dad was always like, she's not going to win this thing in any case. Like, just tell me how it went afterwards. It was a six-month contest. I was going to ask. It's Model 92, right? And there's 25,000 entrants. So I was like, how did they get through it all? What was the process?

It took six months. My parents always traveled. I think they were in Thailand. And I was alone. And I was always actually with my grandmother, who I named my daughter after Eleni. And so my friend was there and we go through this magazine and there was this coupon to enter this modeling competition. I'm like, oh yeah, let's enter this modeling competition. So we just did some goofy photos, sent them in, and then they said, come to a casting. And while my parents were gone, this all happened. I drove with my friend to Munich, which was a seven-hour drive from my town.

Did this casting. There were hundreds of girls. I thought I was already kind of in this thing when they called me. And they were like, no, this is a casting. So I was like, okay, what does that mean? And then you had to do an interview with them. They wanted to see even that you talk because it's a TV show that I entered. It's not just print.

Yeah. They want to know that you can actually open your mouth if someone asks you a question. Can I ask what is your confidence level? My confidence level was very low. And did your confidence throughout the competition build? Like it seems so implausible that you had never modeled, never done anything like this, entered this thing with so many people. But I danced.

I was a dancer. So I was on stage all the time from that. My poor parents had to drive me to dance school like three times a week. You have how many daughters? Two. Do they do dance? Not officially. We dance as a family nonstop.

We're a very big dancing family. But not any lessons. Once doing gymnastics. Was. Yeah, no, I loved it. I had to go three times a week, so they had to drive me constantly. And then we had competition. Ballet?

I did all. I did belly dancing, ballroom dancing, jazz dancing. And then with my team, we would go into different towns because then you compete with all the different dance schools. This feels like AGT was made for you as a job. Because that was your childhood. You're virtually doing what they do. What the dancers do on our show, for sure. Yeah, you like know their life.

I did that a little bit. Then when I later on moved to New York, I continued that. I went to Steps Uptown. And wow, was I bad. People in New York, the level is different than my little town where I came from.

I have trophies at home from my dance troupe and we would go to places and we would win, but we were just not that good. When you're all of a sudden in Manhattan, you're like, wow. Before I was always in the front row behind the teacher there, I was like moved back. I was like in the end. In the doorway at the end. Yeah, I was not that good. So as it evolved this six month long process, it started on a whim, right? Well, let's just send in this coupon, as you called it. And then you get there and now apparently you did well enough in the interview that you go to another stage. And then I got to be on the show and that is like a live show. Oh, wow. So was it like, it was a reality show kind of? No, it's kind of a late night show.

Okay. Like a Jimmy Fallon show. You said Jimmy, cause you were just on, it's like freshest in your memory. No, because I was thinking about David Letterman first and I was thinking about Jay Leno. But, you know, like a late night show like that. Right. And it went on for six months. And every week he would introduce three or four new people again. And then people could vote at home. So we would have to do like a catwalk.

They would show our number. You can YouTube it and you can see it. It's hilarious. You'll have to wade through a lot of pictures of you on the beach, but you'll get to it eventually. And then there's a number and you're like, hey, if you want to vote for Heidi, call in this number. If you want to vote for Michelle, call this number. And then at the end of that night, people would vote for you. And then you would know if you're either in or out.

So you had to win the week, the month. And then in the end, it was again, six girls from those six months, right? Whittling it down, whittling it down. And then I won that entire thing. Wow. Okay, we need to pause there because I need to know where you're at mentally through the process. I thought I was going home anytime. But beyond that.

I never looked at myself and I was like, oh, I got this. Or like, oh, I'm way prettier than them. I had none of this. I don't know, I'm way prettier than them. I had none of this. I don't know why I'm here. I just tried this. It's a fluke. I never even thought that modeling was a job. I didn't really think that far.

Did your friend make it kind of far or no? No, she didn't enter. She kind of pushed me more to enter. Okay. But what I'm trying to get at or comprehend is that we go from zero awareness of any of this to at the end of six months, you have a $300,000 modeling contract that's going to bring you to New York. I'm curious your fantasy of your life prior to that. What was it? And when did you start adjusting? Oh, maybe this is where I'll go in life. Well, I was really into fashion design. I was doing my

Abitur. Oh, right. You were going to go to fashion school. Fashion school, yeah. So we have 13 years of school. Here it's 12 years. In Germany, you have to do 13 years in order to study. And my next step would have been the fashion design school in Düsseldorf, which they already said yes for me to come, which I then never went to because I won this modeling contest. so when I won this modeling contest and price was 300,000 it was deutschmark at the time okay a very long time ago but you had to actually work for that so it wasn't like okay here's the money I went and I never looked back first I went to Miami and it was overflowing with so many models literally would go to casting and you would be 195 and you would sit there like at

the dentist and you look around and there's like just one gorgeous girl after the next you go in they see you for a hot second look at your five pictures in your book and then they're like okay thanks bye and then you leave it took forever to get a job so I did a lot of tests there so you meet with photographers and hair and makeup artists that are also new and up and coming. They also want to work on their modeling portfolio. And then I was like, I'm done now with Miami. I want to go to New York where it's really happening. I went to New York and they're like, yeah, all these tests from Miami. This is just not cool. You got to start all over because you got to be like this. You got to be like that. You're way too happy. Also, you could skip a few meals. A few potatoes in a pillowcase. Yeah. At the time,

I was considered heavy. Then I would go try Paris, Milan. Well, Karl Langenfelder famously was like, you're too heavy. He doesn't even deserve me to say it right after what I heard he said. He's like, our boobs are too big and she's too heavy. Oh my God. Yeah. But you were being told that often. I'm wondering how you... Persistent. I'm gonna get into this house somehow. If it's not the front door, it'll be the back door. Oh, I'm gonna climb up and go through the chimney.

What about your parents? You told them, hey, while you were in Thailand... Yes, because not the whole entire thing happened. This was like a six months contest. They came back but then this happened. I had done the casting and they said, yes. When I was on the show, my mom would then go with me. Were they excited or fearful when you won?

Both. Because also that meant I'm packing my bag and I'm going. Yeah. They're saying about it. You just saw someone leave the house. My daughter? Yes. There's a bedroom with no light on. Yeah. And you're one of how many? I have a brother, 10 years older than me. So yeah, you're one of only two.

You've got at least three other ones. No one really left in my town. Now when I go back to my town, I probably know everyone. Not really, but kind of. And I never looked back because I was just so excited about all these amazing things that I got to see. And New York was and is super exciting. It took a while, though though for me to get started. But once it starts, it's pretty meteoric.

Yeah, but it took me a few years. I did catalogs a lot, which was very frowned upon at the time. You either are a cool high fashion model or you are a commercial model. And also when you are a commercial model, you're not good at anything but that. It's kind of like being a commercial model. And also when you are a commercial model, you're not good at anything but that. It's kind of like being a commercial actor. Yeah, the whole thing is perception and cachets. Just in general, we have to fit in one particular box and you can't get out of that because obviously we're never allowed to be multitasking or multi-talented at anything. So even now when you do a song or you do something, people are like, why are you singing? And it's like, well, why the heck not?

Why are you singing? Just because this is your proper job description. I feel like anyone should be able to do anything. Either people like what you're doing and if no one likes it, then don't listen to it, right? Yeah. But I feel like everyone should have the opportunity to do whatever they want to do. You know, people should do what makes them happy and everyone else should look elsewhere if they're triggered by it. But suffice to say by 2000, I guess, probably two-ish, you've been on the cover of the French, German, Portuguese, and Spanish Vogue. You were on the cover of Elle

and Style, Marie Callender, Glamour, Harper's Bazaar. And here's my question, because I think you seemingly do something that appears brave from my perspective, which is you've actually captured the coveted cachet. And then I'm wondering the decision then to go into Sports Illustrated and Victoria's Secret, I imagine, was not advised by some people. I never listen to anyone, in any case. Right. I love that. I want to know, you're on the backside of having been on all the dream magazines. Are you like, well, who gives a shit?

Where's the money? What is the thing that goes, I don't really care about that now. I'm going to go do this thing. At the end of that, tell me the dramatic difference between being on the cover of those and having been on the cover of Sports Illustrated. When you are on the cover of Vogue, no one knows about it. Being on the cover of Sports Illustrated, I could really feel that because at that time also there was no social media or any of these types of things. But the number I think for Sports Illustrated at the time was 55 million readers.

Oh my God. So you feel that number. And it's not that they sold necessarily that many magazines, but that was still in a time where it would lay somewhere. It was at your dental office. So this magazine that was laying there went through maybe a hundred people, right? So this is how they counted the numbers, I guess, at that time. I have this distinct memory. I wonder if Monica, you have it, you're probably too young. You'd get on an airplane and your first order of business is like, I hope I find some magazines somewhere left behind. Or there'd even be in the very first compartment ones that people discarded. And your whole mission was like, God, I hope there's a people or a car magazine or

something. Remember that? Yeah, of course. Right. So those Sports Illustrated would be like on an airplane and then it would go around the country. When I was in the cover of Sports Illustrated, I would go into a restaurant and they would not necessarily know my name, but I could hear people go like, gosh. Yeah, they recognize. You know, all of a sudden I could feel heads were turning. People would all of a sudden recognize you. And it's like, how the heck do they even recognize me? I have no makeup on.

Plus on the cover, you like make that smoldery face. The hair is blowing in the wind. I don't look anything like that right now. How is this even possible? I still have that today sometimes when I'm with my husband somewhere and I don't have glam. I'm just little old me and people are like, oh my God, it's Heidi. And I'm like, how the heck do they spot you? I can tell you.

I never understand that. You're tall enough that people are going to go, not that looks like her. That's her. Look how tall she is. It's the height. If you were 5'7", I bet you would get recognized. It's funny you say that with the height because a lot of people when they meet me, they say, you're so much shorter than I thought.

Oh, interesting. I do get that. Interesting. But let's just say we were just standing next to each other. What are you, 6'1"? 5'9". Oh, your heels are enormous. Yeah.

Okay. Well, I rescind everything I just said. Are you in heels all the time when you're out? And maybe you should start wearing flats. When I'm not working, I'm always in Birkenstocks, basically. I mean, you're a very famous person. That's really what it is. At this point, sorry to be the first to tell you this.

No, but you know, it does genuinely surprise me that when you're not glammed and your hair is not all done and you're not in some fancy outfit, I'm always like, wow, how did I not blend in? It's weird. Okay, but you just exposed, I think, what your story is about yourself. And I think now your story is that you on those magazines is this version that is created with hair and makeup and outfits and that you yourself in your natural state

aren't that glamorous. Is that your story? Yeah, I'm not that glamorous. You are. We got another flash breaking news. He's saying glamorous isn't like specialness. You in your head might think that's- The production.

Persona and production and me doing a face, but really you give that off naturally. You might not be able to accept that, but you do. Sorry. We're terribly sorry. We're insulting you big time. No, but it happens sometimes in moments where I'm not even talking to people

or they're not even, I'm not even being like bubbly or they hear my accent. And you're speaking with a full American accent. What if you walk around with an American accent? Yeah, hey, I'm not even German. I'm like from Kentucky. I'm like from Kentucky.

Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, if you dare. Sasha hated sand, the way it stuck to things for weeks. So when Maddie shared a surf trip on Expedia Trip Planner, he hesitated. Then he added a hotel with a cliffside pool to the plan, and they both spent the week in the water. You were made to follow your whims. We were made to help find a place on the beach with a pool and a waterfall and a soaking tub and, of course, a great shower. Expedia. Made to travel. But it factors real. I don't like believing in that either. You should love believing in that because that's exactly what I'm explaining that you have.

You try to compare what you look like to some weird ratio thing that you've seen on covers of magazines. And you're completely ignoring that. It's like, what's in a human being's eyes? That's what makes someone so special. Well, I don't like believing because I don't think I have it. So then I want everyone to be able to have it or like not, you know, it's like a non-issue. But it is real. And when you win out of 25,000 girls and you've never modeled. Some have a little more X factor than others.

I mean, certainly I can concede to that. Yeah, you have it. You're so uncomfortable, aren't you? It's turned emotional and real. No. Okay, but back to Sports Illustrated. Were people in your world, you had an agent obviously at that point,

a lot of other people, were they saying don't do this or do this? To be honest, I don't remember anymore. A lot of the times they didn't even want me to go to those types of magazines because they said that I'm not good enough in any case to go. Again, I was like a catalog model. And at the time, anyone who was doing Sports Illustrated was a famous model. They didn't have a person in there that you've never heard the name before. If you had to isolate the biggest catalyst to your career, what would you say was it?

Definitely Spurs. Okay, good. That was my assumption. Victoria's Secret also. Because at that time, those catalogs, I don't know how many times a week they were sent to your house, just being in people's faces all the time. Those really did have probably a circulation of like 100 million. Yes, yes, yes. Huge. all the time. Those really did have probably a circulation of like a hundred million. Oh my god.

So being on that cover of French Vogue is so hard to get because it's like really highbrow and you have to be a real high-end fashion model to be on there or you have to be brand new or have something special. I have no idea how I even got on that. I was so lucky but no one even took note that I was on there. But all these other things people took note of and then being on TV is a whole other thing because you're in everyone's home. And so people see you even more so. When I travel the world and I go on vacation, I'm sometimes in the smallest little towns and people are like, oh my God, we watch you on America's Got Talent. But I don't mind it at all. I love that people love the show so much. I love the show that much. So I'm happy that you make a lot of people happy by what you do when they watch it.

Well, my other guess is that the second gift Victoria's Secret gave you, which you were with them for a very long time, like maybe 13 years or something, is that you started hosting their annual show. Is that the first time you ever hosted? Yes. It's because I was super hammy. And it started when Access Hollywood or E.T. or any of those TV shows would come and they wanted to interview us backstage. The girls were always like, no, I don't want to talk to you. So they didn't want to talk to the anchors. And I was like, just give me the mic. I'll do it. So I just ran with them and I would look into the camera like I was talking to the people at home and I'm like, OK, now I'm going to interview Stephanie

Seymour. And I'm like,'m like okay Stephanie what did you have for breakfast this morning and they would talk to me so I could just chat with them backstage versus their interviewer didn't have a shot so I would get those gigs more and more Victoria's Secret then asked me to host their show and I was always super nervous but I also loved the challenge. I could overcome something that was not super easy for me to do because then it's different. You have to read a prompter. All of a sudden becomes very serious and it has to be your language. And then you like, carfuffle with what am I saying? And then you stumble over your words and you're live and it's scary. I loved it at the same time because I was like, I'd rather do it than someone else doing it.

Yeah. Yeah. My hunch is that you were nervous to do it. And then when you actually started talking to somebody, it's so very natural and organic for you that that would take over. But also talking is different. But when someone writes a script for you, because I also think who wants to hear all of that at home. But also, you know, at the same time when I started also, obviously, I wasn't as verbal about those things. Now I am. You've earned the right. Now I work with the writers, obviously on AGT, we don't have writers. But when I do, for example, in Germany, my big finale, which is like three and a half hours long. So there is a lot of prompter reading that I have to do. And I work with someone to work on the text. And there too, I'm like, this is too long.

People don't want to hear all this stuff. They want to have fun. Because if I was listening to this, I would change the channel too. Like it's boring. Also, everyone's attention is this big now. Yeah. So then Project Runway is the next thing

that's like a huge career deviation. And it's just preposterously successful. And I did Project Runway and Germany's Next Top Model at the same time. And it was because Tyra was doing America's Next Top Model. And so we were always kind of changing notes. So she and I, we were very similar in the way that we wanted more than what we had. Ambitious. Yeah, kind of like making products. I designed for Birkenstocks, is it 30 years ago? I mean, time goes so fast.

Yeah, I think it was 30 years ago. And she was also doing things. Then she was doing a song and I'm like, oh my God, this is so cool. They would call us Tidy and Hyra. Tidy and Hyra because we were so similar. And I wouldn't say opportunist,

but kind of a little bit of an opportunist because sometimes, for example, I get to always wear the gazillion dollar bra. You know, like, I don't know how much it was like maybe 10 million with $750,000 penny to match it had like a diamond that was beyond huge. The Hope Diamond. really because I was genuinely interested in all of that stuff. And then I was like, let's do a line together. And then I made a jewelry line with these people. I met people and then I had ideas and they actually became reality. Came to fruition. But also, Heidi, you're clearly smart enough to go like, okay, this thing I'm doing will expire.

I'm not seeing a lot of 60-year-olds on the covers of Sports Illustrated. There should be. There should be. There should. I think May Musk was just on it. I'm not condoning it. a lot of 60-year-olds on the covers of Sports Illustrated. There should be. There should be. There should, and that's great. I think May Musk was just on it. I'm not condoning it. I'm saying you were rightly going,

I also need some other pokers in the fire. To be honest, it wasn't because of I need to have pokers in the fire. It was literally because I just love being creative. You were hungry and interested in being creative. I mean, I still do things. Like I paint. I do a lot of things that are not necessarily there to earn money, but I am a creative person. When you would come to my house, you would see I collect a thousand things. Like I have every boarding

stop of any plane ride I've been ever on. You said you're a hoarder. I'm a hoarder. I have the whole entire Barbie collection. Like once I was, you know, because then Barbie. How many are in that collection? Because I have one. You were the ambassador of Barbie in 2009-ish? Yeah, maybe. There's a Heidi Barbie. There's a Heidi Barbie. You know,

it's Barbie always as someone else, right? So then Barbie was me. I don't know how that happened either. I was like, oh my God. And I'm obsessed

because I also always played with Barbies and this was amazing. And so I collected all the Barbies now because I'm a hoarder, professional hoarder. Okay. So Project Runway goes forever. I did 17 seasons. Oh, wow.

17 seasons. And now Top Model is my 19th season. Oh, my Lord. So, okay. This dovetails into my overarching question slash concern. Most people with two really successful shows, when their agent calls and says like, hey, they want to talk about you coming to America's Got Talent. They might go like, well, I've already got like 15 shows and I represent 26 brands. No, no, no, I called them.

You called them. Because what happened was Howard Stern was talking about Sharon Osbourne was leaving. Season eight. And that they were looking for someone to fill in her spot. Then I was like, I want to go and introduce myself to these people. Wonderful. So I literally went and I introduced myself to everyone over at America's Got Talent and Fremantle. And then they said, oh, yeah, we took someone else.

Because at that time, they only had three. So then they said, oh yeah, we took someone else. Because at that time they only had three. So then they were like, okay, they picked Mel B. I get it. She's probably more fun and this and that, whatever. And then they called me and they're like, actually, we're going to have four judges and we do want you also. And that's 10 years ago.

I did 10 seasons. Right. Aren't you tired? When you started. I'm tired for you just hearing this and I'm 36. All those people, you feed off everyone's energy and their excitement. I feel like if I wasn't doing all these things, I feel like then I would be tired. When I go there and all the lights are on and they come and they tell their story and they do their act, it's just a real fun day.

We know this intimately. Many times we've been somewhere doing live shows and we're both totally exhausted monica was dying of um food poisoning well yeah terrible flu we all had and so monica's almost lifeless backstage i'm getting her a candy bar hoping she could eat one thing is it because you're going live and you're nervous about being dead? No, no. We all got this weird bug. Dax didn't have it. I had it before we had to go on. She was dehydrated, laying on a couch backstage.

She's dead. I'm wondering how this is going to work. And to your point, you're sitting in the wings of the stage. You're watching the band play. And then all of a sudden, this thing starts just enveloping you. And this source of energy you this thing starts just enveloping you and this source of energy you're talking about just fills you and then you walk out there and then you're magically healed the energy can be a bunch of times yeah yeah still i'm just impressed thank you

thank you so much i love doing what i'm doing i knock on wood literally every day. Oh, that was it! Yay, we found it! Monica knocks on wood a hundred times a day. Oh, yeah, I do. I do all the time, too. That was the thing! I'm like, what is it? This is not wood. So funny.

It's okay, Dax's knock counts for you. I always make him knock because he's close to the wood. So I'm knocking on your wood. No, I knock on wood all the time. Yeah, I believe in it. That's exactly what it was. I saw you knock on wood in several different interviews and i go oh my god it's monica that's hilarious oh my god but yeah you love it i do what was it like and let me say i'm

friends with him what was it like working with howard be honest he's not very joyous right well that's kind of his shtick and it's hard i think to sit next to someone who is very joyous because i was always singing and i'm like because sometimes it takes a minute when we're not live and they're interviewing people backstage they're not sending the next the next the next the next so they put a little bit of music in the room so that the audience doesn't fall asleep and i'm like tra la laing along or mel is next to me and then we're just singing from the top of our lungs or someone was there doing some opera so we're copying this opera that someone just sang and he's like good god so he was always next to me like please sometimes you know he would have a producer come to me and they'd be like Howard is kind of telling us that. But I liked him. He is very sarcastic

and very dry. I'm just not like that. And I wasn't going to have him pull me You wanted to keep the energy up for you. negative like that. I just put a little line here

and I'm like, foof, foof, there's a wall and nothing is coming either which way. You can't be shit. Well, I was going his way, I guess, because I was loud. I do like him.

How he listens still sometimes when Howard talks about us, that he didn't have a great time. And it's sad sometimes when I see that, because I always thought at the end that he sort of did have a fun time. But the shtick on the show is he goes on vacation with all these fun people in Mexico, and he's miserable, and everyone's having fun, and he's miserable. He doesn't really go on vacation is the thing. He doesn't really fly anywhere, how he does yeah and he'll go on these vacations down

to mexico and all these people are there and then his whole bit that whole week will be about how everyone was having fun and he was miserable and he went to bed early but i've been at his house and he's very fun and joyous and kind and patient i have too and then i've heard the account of the thing on the radio and it's different because it's a show. It's a persona a little bit. So don't you think that's what's happening when he recounts the AGT?

What is the purpose of that? I don't get it. Well, I would be guessing. I don't really know off the top of my head, but maybe I think he feels self-conscious with the amount of success he's had and the amount of money he has. And so the only way he feels like people will still find him approachable is if he's at least miserable

from it. I think that's a little bit what's going on. Maybe also they have all of us there because they want different kind of humans with different walks of life, with different emotions, personalities, what we see there. Well, I have a hunch this one will be much more eye to eye on because I'm longtime friends with Terry. He was just on. Terry Crews. I love Terry. Oh, love. He's the man with the best energy.

Positive in dancing and singing and playing. He has the hardest gig on that show because we're very far from the people who come onto the stage. And when we tell them no or sometimes also why that is a no they walk off the stage and they're not very happy and he has to deal with whatever comes towards him and he does it so beautifully always uplifts them again obviously i don't think any one of us wants anyone to walk out of there feeling terrible but they do and when they get to him i feel like he has a way of turning it around for them somehow. And he's the best peck popper.

Oh, yeah. He did it for us. It was exciting. I'm very good at it, too. You are? Really? When you're nude? No, I do it on the show.

You do? I think they cut it out all the time. Yeah. Me and Terry did it. We did it. And Monica was impressed that I could. Yeah, I'm impressed. She didn't even think I could do it.

I can do it. See, I'm making a bounce right now. I can't do it. I can do it. Nothing's happening. Are you doing it right now? I'm doing it right now. I have too many layers of things on. Yeah, who would know? I can't believe you do it on the show. That's amazing. Unknowable. No, I can. I can and I will. If he gets me on the beach in St. Barts, you might see him. I can and I am. Okay, tell me about this current season because this is a bit of a different approach to AGT, right? Fantasy League? Yeah, well, because people love Fantasy League anything, I feel like, especially in America.

You can participate a little bit. We are participating in the way that we got to draw our favorite acts. From the last however long you've been doing it. America got to pick 50 or 60 acts that they love from the past. And they want them to come back. But not just in America, but from all gut talents from around the world. So then, and this was Simon's idea, I think because he wants us to do more things

and he wants to be on TV more than we already am, because he's like, why are we even here? They cut everything out. And he's the boss and he can change the rules. And I love it. And how we got to pick who we wanted, they had these different size straws. The longest gets to choose first and there's a shorter one, shorter and the shortest. So the straws come around.

I had the longest straw. Oh, wow. He had the shortest straw. Yeah, that's what America wants. He walked in with his head so high. He's like, yes, new season, different concept. He had all these ideas. He has the shortest straw. He walked out of there so sad and upset because we took all

the best ones like right off the get go. So basically this season, the four of you get a team. We get a team that we choose. So I had the longest straw so I could go over to the board of all the acts and I could pick my favorite one. Then Howie, I guess, had the next one. So he got to pick, then Mel, and then Simon, then back to me. So then you get to mentor these acts. So before they come onto the stage and we never get to see what they do. But here we all have the opportunity to work with them and say what we feel could be better.

And then it's up to them if they want to do it or not. And I've had that too, where they were like, yeah, I love what you're saying, but I'm going to stick to how I'm going to do it. Okay, Heidi? And I'd be like, totally fine. Because at the end, the audience in the room is going to vote. And I don't want it also to be my fault if you completely change it and you don't believe in it.

Yeah. I always love to play devil's advocate, or I always love to point things out. You just tried to knock on wood just then when you were saying devil's advocate. No. Did you feel yourself looking for wood? No, no. Oh, you didn't. She feels very confident.

No, no, no. But it was fun to do that because I feel like some we got to elevate their act a little bit. And others didn't want to do certain things. The audience agreed sometimes. Do you think now, though, that you are actually participating and involved, that when these heartbreaks happen, I imagine you two will be much more effective than you had ever been in the past? 100%.

I had one that got stolen from me by Howie Mandel. Okay, he's a snake. It's actually called the Ramadani Brothers. So these are those two guys where one guy— Climbs a ladder with the other guy on his head on top of his head what okay yeah you have to watch bonkers oh my god it's impossible it is one of the most amazing well i love them and i also love the regurgitator he was not on this season he did a flip with a sword in his mouth no the regurgitator was also my all-time favorite

he would just swallow things okay and regurgitate things back. And he would do things in his stomach with it. What? Yeah, he has done things where he was like, okay, Heidi, can I borrow your diamond ring? And I'm like, sure. I would give him the ring. Of course. He would have like a tiny little locket. He would close the locket.

He would swallow the key, swallow all of those things separately. And then he would regurgitate it back up. And my ring was in the locket. Do you think that's magic or it's really happening in his stomach? I really don't know. I mean, that feels impossible with what I know about the human stomach.

I know, but he's in front of you and he does these things and you're like, how is this possible? Also, he would have a glass of sugar and he would have a glass of water. So he would swallow all this sugar and you see, he shows in his mouth sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar

he shows again so he's not hiding this anywhere then he's swallowing all this water after the sugar swallow, swallow, swallow again tongue out

he's showing out look everything is gone and then regurgitates the sugar back out and it's all dry no no

yeah or we gotta get him off he swallowed razor blades then he swallowed little tiny sugar back out and it's all dry. No, no. What? We got to get him off. He swallowed razor blades. Then he swallowed little tiny tomatoes. And then he will regurgitate. They were cut up.

They were cut up. Diced tomatoes. That beats everything. Yes. Did he not win everything? No, because I think it's too out there. People are maybe a little grossed out. I think they were a little grossed out. This is where your Germaness really helped you.

Also my two boys. I'm used to gross talk and farting and they think this is hilarious. Like whose fart stinks more than the other. I win. I win. No, but for me, this was the most outrageous thing I've ever seen. So same with those Ramadani brothers. So then Howie stole stole them from me and i don't really cry a lot on television because maybe that's also my german side i don't want people to see that side of me and i'm told to kind of hold it in yeah and usually i can i mean it has happened maybe like two times on the show there was a gentleman who has been put to jail for his whole life and he had just come out and he was singing this song and

literally I couldn't stop crying so sometimes that does happen but then with the Ramadan brothers I was so mad that I wanted to like leave those were my favorite guys I love the investment level this is great yeah it's different it's fun for us to do that so we meet with them before they show us their act and I'm also all into bedazzling. Also, do you know Piff the Magic Dragon? No. He actually has a show in Las Vegas. Not Puff. No, Piff.

Actually, a lot of our acts have shows in Las Vegas already. And so I upgraded his Magic Dragon outfit. Oh, you made it sparkly? Yeah. Okay. Jennifer Love. Yes. Did she warn you?

No, she just said that it's cold here. That was her only- Which is not true. Right. That's interesting. That's the only thing she warned you about. In general, and I'm inclined to let it go because I like how perfect it feels. But in general on this show, I'm most interested in you have the full fairy tale,

but the full fairy tale is never the full fairy tale. There's some predictable struggle on the other side of this. And I'm wondering if it's part of the same thing, the Germanist, that you don't want to cry on TV. This ride feels almost too good to be true. One hundred percent. I don't know how I got on this thing. Right. But it seems like it just keeps going straight up. And I'm curious, what have been the dips for you or where did you have to steel yourself and recommit or focus or reframe something? Because life just can't be a straight.

Yeah, life's a beat down. I mean, obviously, along the way, people said no or didn't want you. I guess you've been divorced. Maybe that was something that was painful. 100%. Dumped many times. First divorce, second divorce. You don't want that.

Everyone knows about it. You know, if Mrs. and Mr. Schmidt get divorced, no one knows about it. Right. And it's hard enough. They're at the grocery store. No one's like pitying them. Plus, you know, a lot of untrue stories might get told. And you have children that you want to protect from all that stuff. You have to deal with that. But hey, I went again. Marriage number three. Here we go. I know. You're very positive. It's very infectious. It is. And that's why I'm saying I'm inclined to let this just go. I was never looking back. And even though after that, I was like, okay, I'm never doing that

again. For the second time, this didn't work out. Why does one actually need to be married? We could just live next to each, not next to each other, but living next to each other, being in the same house together, living together, but you don't actually need to have that ring. But then I fall in love. And then I want that because I think it is fun. I love to be the wife. I love calling my husband. So here I go again. I love it. It's optimistic. Wood, hold on. Knock on wood. This guy laughs forever. Here we go. Lean forward. Chop, chop, chop. Here we go. I always double knock on my head too, just in case that wasn't good enough. I do head as well. You do head as well?

I do if there's no wood. I use it as a backup. But if you have wood, will you do wood and your head? No, but now I will. Oh, I always double up. I double up always on the head. I feel like you guys need to move in with each other. I know, you're so fun.

I want to watch a reality show called Yin and Yang and it's you two. I could use some of your optimism. Her glow. Oh, I could use some of your optimism. Her glow. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, if you dare. I only have like three questions left just to put you at ease. No, I'm fine.

My interest in your husband. Yes. First of all, he is a guitar player in the band Tokyo Hotel. And his identical twin brother is also in the band. I have to know what it's like to be married to an... Are they identical? They are identical. Tell me about that.

But they don't look alike anymore. They were identical when they were younger. And then if you look at photos of them, Bill always had like a different kind of hairstyle. Tom, he had long dreadlocks and Bill put his hair like spiky with lots of hairspray. They were very different. Also how their clothes were. Tom was always in hip hop clothes. You know, you'd see the underwear, the pants were really low and he was like schlumping around. Bill is like in high heels. Oh, wow. He has like long nails. It's very clear who's who.

Yeah, they were very, very different. Bill plucks his eyebrows perfectly and Tom is wild. And I feel like if you would strip them completely down and shave the beard and all of that, yes, they would be identical again. But when you're talking to your brother-in-law and you're like looking him in the eyes, do you get tripped out sometimes? I can see my husband in him. No. You don't. Are their personalities different or similar? Bill is way more bubbly. Bill and I have more the same personality. Well, that makes sense. Yeah. And is Bill... He doesn't have a partner at the moment. Does he need any recommendations?

We know a lot of single people. Oh, it's good to have a good recommendation. Yes. Yes. This is how it could all work out. You could marry the brother. Oh, sweet. And then you guys would be sister-in-laws.

That would be fun. Married to the same guy that's different. We could also hang out like that. No problem. It's true. It's true. Oh, man. This is so exciting.

What's happening? No, but they're very different. My husband, he's taking more the backseat. Bill always was. More the extrovert. And is, you know, the star of their band. Because he's the singer, Tom produces the songs and makes the songs. But he writes the songs with Bill.

I'm just trying to imagine for myself, talking to a woman that has the exact same DNA as my wife, my fantasy of that is, like, very interesting. No, but look up a photo of them. I saw. To me, it just looks like different hair. If I was looking in their eyes, they have the same eyes.

Yeah, they do for sure. They have the same bone structure of their face and foreheads. I think that's so weird to like look at someone you know so insanely intimately and see them yet you don't know

that other, you know. I had two sets of twins when I was younger and they were more similar to the point where i had to check out molds in order to see wow yeah yeah yeah before they open their mouth i would have to check the one has that mode the other one doesn't have that mole but so for me they are not as twin studies are so interesting for that reason because it goes to show genetics only count for so much.

Right. We just have our own aura. It's so funny because those studies either, it's just like that great movie, Three Identical Strangers. They do, they finish their sentences. They've lived their whole life together, traveled the world together. And so when we met, it's the first time they moved apart from each other. Oh, wow. Does he resent you, Bill?

No, but it's the first time that my husband moved away from them living together. That's what I'm saying. If I was Bill, I might be pissed at you. No, maybe he loved having more closet space. Or maybe he's so happy that you finally took him away. Yeah, he's like, I've been waiting for this. You dated twins?

Yeah, I dated twins and then also dated long-term. I met Carrie. Yes, fraternal twins, but then also I dated identical twins. Yeah, you sure did. Both of them. Oh, both at the same time? Not at the same time, at different times. This is like ninth grade and 11th grade.

You dated both of them? Ninth grade and 11th grade. So it's like time goes by. They're very similar. I liked the first one. That's not who I'm talking about. You dated another set of twins. Identical twins.

Yeah. That's right. The Olsen twins she's referencing. Oh, the Olsen. But never at the same time. No. I did not date Mary-Kate. I just want to be clear.

I'm not saying I dated Mary-Kate. Oh, fuck. This went off the rails. No, in high school, I dated identical twins. I know them very well, too. And dating is loose. Yes, I know that. When I was with Ashley, I want to say she talked very fondly about you at some point.

Good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're my heroes. Yeah, they're amazing. You love all the clothes that they made. This is the row. These are the row. These are the row.

No, they're very good. But it's also because I feel like they really do this themselves. I know. It's so admirable. Okay, you've talked too much about it, but I just have a specific question about it. And that is Halloween. So do you already know this about Heidi that she goes so hard for Halloween? Probably harder than anyone in the world.

You don't? What rock have you been on? I know. It's so embarrassing. God. We can still hang out, right? It'll be part of the fun of the reality shows. No, not before you have a little look at me when I was a rainworm.

Okay? A rainworm? Yes. Listen. little look at me when i was a rainworm okay okay yes listen please look at my rainworm okay look at me when i was 95 years old that's also one of my favorites i turned 40 and people were like wow so you were like 40 really old now you should stop modeling and then i was like dang i guess they're right and then that got me thinking about i'm gonna make myself really old and that was amazing it took like 13 14 hours to make me that old because every part of my skin that was exposed they had to age i hate to say this there will be some listeners that like monica haven't seen the halloween costumes i learned i

learned of it today monica whatever you're imagining i can't you have to times it by 10 so she went as whatever she called it, a rainworm. It looks like a fucking intestine. No, a rainworm. No, it looked like a rainworm. A rainworm. Okay. Like a real proper rainworm that you see when it's raining and they come out of the ground and they're out there.

Or like the lower GI. That is also what a worm looks like. She is in this like nine foot long i'm gonna look at a fucking yeah you have it looks like an intestine her face is gone there's no she's got her eyes are poking through my face was glued onto the walls of it my hands were tied down to the side of my body when i would fall over i couldn't get up so i said to my husband please when i fall over and i'm landing on my face don't leave me on my face because it's loud. People are like, Heidi, over here. Heidi, fall over here.

Look over here. Boom. So when I'm down, when I'm down and I'm on my face. But by the way, they wouldn't even know if you were looking over there. I don't want to suffocate. She's gone in this costume, Monica. You can't see her. Do you see it?

When I tell you that this costume is as complicated as the Jabba the Hutt costume in Star Wars, it's that level of prosthetic and insanity. Look at her face. Try to find her face. This is incredible. Now that we know what you're doing. So we know that the one costume that's going is 95. And you looked like, you're saying a rainworm.

I think it happens to look like intestines. Do you think that looks like intestines? I do. Because I thought you were saying ringworm. That's like an intestinal disease. And it could be that, too. Yeah. But it's a rainworm. That's like an intestinal disease, and it could be that, too. Yeah. But it's a rainworm.

That makes me very sad. No, it's great. I thought it was very clearly a rainworm. No one says rainworm. What is it? You would just say worm, right? You're talking about the worm that is just in the grass. But there's so many different worms.

There certainly are. No, there are worms that come out when it rains. Yes. I think in America, we don't have that. They come out of the grass and the soil. No, normal worms. Yeah, normal worms, they come up. And if we want to talk about a different worm. It's not a it rains. Yes. I think in America, we don't have that. grass and soil. No, normal worms. Yeah, normal worms, they come up.

And if we want to talk about a different worm. It's not a maggot. Right, but we would say maggot. No, a maggot is not coming out of the ground. A maggot is in food. I know that.

What I'm telling you is no one would call a maggot a worm. You don't need to differentiate. Right, then you don't say maggot worm. Ah, okay. That's what I'm trying to. Oh my God, the light bulb. Did you see it?

Yes. It went on. It took me a minute. Here it's just worm. That's standard,'m trying to- Oh my God, the light bulb. Did you see it? Yes. It went on. It took me a minute. Here it's just worm. I love this. That's standard, what you were. But I kind of like that she called- You can call it a rain worm if you want.

It's very cute that you're doing it. I thought you always had to specify, like with pastas, with weenie. This old version of you is crazy. Now that we've been brought up to speed about these Halloween costumes, my question is, many, many women on halloween like to dress as a nurse well they like to express a sexiness that they don't otherwise get to do in real life and i think it's very telling that you went as a forgive me an intestine and a 95 woman and my question is do you think it's because you've had your fill of being sexy

and that now it's like, let's go be a rainworm? For me, it's more creative. I'm a creative person. So I also don't want to do costumes that I have seen. So I try to really think outside of the box. You did. You're doing great. Last year, I was like, okay, this worm I know was so epic that I was like, how am I going to top this worm?

So then I thought I have to do something with multiple people. I became a peacock where I'm just the face in the front body of the peacock. And I have like 10 people who were the eyes of the feather in the rest of the body. And I'm climbing on this. And we did this whole beautiful dance until I then become this peacock to just give people something else again where they're like oh my god that's cool or I want people to have an emotion when they see that and I love also when girls want to be a sexy nurse and they feel like they can't do this in their normal life and then that gives them the

freedom the okay to try something that they normally don't feel comfortable in. I feel like I'm kind of always doing the sexy nurse without being the nurse. If I go to a party or walking down the catwalk somewhere. Kristen does the same thing. Kristen's so celebrated for being beautiful that she does things that are so gross that only she would really be comfortable doing. so gross that only she would really be comfortable doing. Like she'll wear a bald cap and she looks insane. Or she has a bathing suit that looks like a man's hairy chest. And it's so gross.

It is. Yeah, I like that. But she's also said that about her wedding because they got married at the courthouse and she wore just like a cute outfit. And people ask like, oh, you didn't want to get dressed up? And she was like, I get to do that a lot for my job. So this got to be a different thing. Yeah.

But it's more like art for me. I feel like I'm like a live sculpture. One year, for example, I wanted people to see what it entails. I know I always do like little videos that I put up there. But one year I was putting myself in a window in Manhattan. And I started at like eight o'clock in the morning. And I had all the artists around me gluing all the stuff on. And I'm sitting right by the window and people could walk by this window all day long.

It's like performance art. All day. All day they could come by and they could see what happens. Like five, six hours later I was still sitting there. They were gluing stuff on me because I wanted people to see how this all happens. It's like a sculpture at the end. Then they just rip it all off. It's just for one night and then it's gone well what i like is this reinforces the point you made a few minutes ago which is like you just pursue stuff because you pursue them sometimes they generate money

sometimes they don't this is obviously a humongous expense for you to do this and you're not going to get any money back from doing that i never have but you get joy out of it i do and you always have something to talk about on talk show in the pinch all you gotta do is flash that fucking picture and you got like six minutes right there. But I never knew in the beginning how it would grow into that. Over 20 years now, I've been doing this maybe 23 years. When do you start planning? Now.

And do you go to a specific party every year? I make it every year. Oh, it's your party. It's my party. Oh, fun. And she has Questlove DJ. Questlove is there every year. I love Quest.

Amazing. This is so fun. It is. But when I first came to New York, I didn't feel like there was a party where people are dressing up. You would go to a party and they put a little red clown nose on their nose. And then it's like, oh, I'm a clown. And I'm like, no, you're not. It just was like so boring.

I was always like, where is the magic? Why is no one giving it some? So then I was like, I'm going to take that over. I'm going to do this. And as the host, I thought I have to really show people how far you can push your imagination. And I feel like literally every year people who are coming, their costumes also are getting better and better. People are also planning months in advance already. You're inspiring them.

People are DMing me and they're like, oh my God, I'm coming to the party and I'm already like, you just wait when you see what I'm doing. I can imagine this party, no one can move, no one's arms work, people are falling down staircases.

No, my husband. Just a shit show. My husband was a gigantic egg because... This is like a Black Mirror episode in a way. No, my husband was like, what am I going to be if you're a peacock? And I was like, well, we're literally sitting at the dinner table and I have this chandelier that has all these eggs hanging off of it. They're real eggs all from Easter.

Like we always blow eggs out, you know, you poke holes in either side and you blow all the stuff through and then you paint them and then we put them on strings. And so we have like 50 eggs probably on this thing. And I'm looking at these eggs. I'm like, I think think it should be an egg you should be the peacock's egg and i know that a peacock is a male and shouldn't have eggs but that's fine no one there's gonna be a ornithologist and call you out on that's right so he ran around like a gigantic egg i I bet Bill was a bird that year too. No, he was a unicorn. Oh. Okay, the same thing. He married his brother. Yeah. That's what happened. He married his brother. Possibly.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We do these things. In the female version. Yeah, and it makes sense because they seem like soulmates in some ways. Well, clearly, if they can stay together in a band as brothers, it's impossible. Okay, last thing we're talking about. Last year you did, you hit the deck hard. Where? I'm sorry.

What's happening? I meant to say, last year you did chai tea with Heidi. Yes. Above that I had reminded myself that you hit the deck hard walking to your desk on AGT. I want to talk about it, but I don't need to. We've talked about so much stuff. Now I need to hear about it. Okay. She fucking went down.

On AGT? Yeah, and you ended to have your leg glued. Because it's Fantasy League. I swear to God, sometimes I rewind that tape and I'm like, there must be Simon Cowell or someone holding that leg out for me. But it actually never happened. No, I fully just fell over or something. I'm talking like a timber moment.

I went down fast. Did you have to have surgery? No, but they had to come and they had to glue it shut. See? Oh. It looks like nothing. No, I see it. It was bleeding and they had to glue it shut. See? Oh. It looks like nothing. No, I see it. It was bleeding and gushing and it's amazing.

They have this glue. They just glue it right shut. And you felt fine. They just like went bloop. And then kept on filming. Yes. Well, it happened at the beginning of the show. I actually felt more embarrassed that everyone had to wait for me because then there was blood everywhere.

And then they had to clean the blood. Then they had to clean my leg. Then they had to clean my leg. Then they had to have someone come. And then they're like, are you sure you're fine? Yeah, they bring in a blood pathogen person. And I was like, no, I didn't fall on my head. Everything is fine. How do you handle embarrassment?

I was more embarrassed of them having to wait on me. Right. The fall didn't bother me so much because there would be more embarrassing things. If I had my period now and I get up and there was a stain right on this couch i would be embarrassed because this would be like your couch i would be having to remove this i wouldn't care but like falling yeah that cushion would go in a lucite box on it to the wall we would get new couch cushions but we'd keep it and we would write a little that's right we kind of keep everything ever happen to you so far not but it will well now that we know how late you guys are. No, let's not know what it will. Yeah, yeah, here we go. Chop, chop, chop, chop, chop.

Knock on her head. A little knock, knock on the noggin. Noggin, noggin. Okay, now what I meant to say was last year you did Chai Tea with Heidi with Snoop Dogg. Can you believe this? Again, talk about the impossible fairy tale ride. At no point on this voyage are you like, you know what I bet I'm going to do is sing a song with Snoop Dogg. Yeah, that's so cool. How fucking out of this world is that? I'm in the shower and I'm singing Rod Stewart's song. If you want my body.

When I give my heart again, I know it's going to last forever. So I'm singing in the shower and I'm like, why is there not a remix of that song? It would be so cool. Wouldn't it be cool if Snoop Dogg would do this with me? And then I'm like, oh my God, why am I not just going to call Snoop Dogg and see if he's into this? I literally call up Snoop Dogg. He's like, where are you at? Well, I'm in L.A.

And he's like, well, come down to Inglewood. So I go to Inglewood. Wow. He's like, let's do this thing. Oh, my Lord. Can I have his number? Can you give us his number? It's in a perfunctory text.

Literally, I could not believe it. That's incredible. Whenever you have an idea and you think it's like good. Now I said idea. My kids are not here. Usually they're like, it's not with an R at the end, mom. It's idea. You should tell them this accident built this fucking house.

That would be my response. I have never cursed like that before. I'm so sorry. It's idea. You should tell them this accident built this fucking house here and shut the fuck up. That would be my response. I have never cursed like that before. Oh, sorry. I'm so sorry you suggested. No, that's fine. Are you okay?

Yeah, no, I'm good. Okay. And so this time around, I'm a huge fan of Tiesto's. Like I've gone wherever he goes, I'm going- Biggest AJ in the world. How old are your daughters again? Nine and 10. Do you have a trampoline?

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, my kids their entire life have hopped up and down on Tiesto music. It has that deep beat in its EDM. So it's like super fast and my kids are bouncing all over the place. So they grew up with his music. I know and love his music. And when we're in Las Vegas, we go see him in the daytime party, which is also so much fun. And then I said to him, I have a really good idea for a song. And he's like, what is it? And I'm like, Sunglasses at Night.

You know, the Corey Hart song. Do you remember that song, Monica? I wear my sunglasses at night. Yeah, I can. So I can. Exactly. Oh, that was nice. I like what just happened.

There's another yin and yang happening in this room. I've been included. Why are we knocking? I don't know, because I want to be like you. You might need to practice when. Yeah, I'm not good at it yet. Does it help that I can't see you? I've made myself not see you as well, to join you and Monica.

We can't see anything. Oh, you have normally glasses? And I haven't had any water since we started. Should we have a sip? You're becoming a little more like me. I'm becoming a little more like you. I think my favorite part of this interview was when she was talking about him drinking the water. Putting the sugar in. And she was miming

out the whole thing. You know when she acted out that whole thing? Yes, it was great. I wish we had a video for that. Oh, here we go. Oh, liquid death. There you go. Pre-advertisement. Ah, that was refreshing.

Tastes like nothing. I would waste my time. Why did I do that? Okay, so sunglasses at night. You had heard it and it was stuck in your head or something? I mean, I was born 73, so yes, songs from the 80s, 90s. That's why also Rod Stewart, I guess. And when I said that to him, his eyes nearly fell out of his head.

I could just see his wheels up thinking, why did I not think of that? Then we just did it. I just had a brainstorm. I feel like I got hit by lightning just now for your next song. Tell me. Makes lovers feel like they got something real. But you know you and me We got nothing but time

Culture Club? Yeah, but wow. I think you should do Time next year. If you're going down an 80s road, you don't respond to that. No, I don't respond to that one, no. You don't like that song. It's not for you.

You don't even know it. Do you even know that song? I have to hear the original. You don't think I song. It's not for you. You don't even know it. Do you even know that song? I have to hear the original. You don't think I did a good job? Let me call Snoop and see if he wants that. That was hard for me. She's in judge mode. This is what happens.

Oh, yeah, it's true. I'm about to talk to Terry Crews. I don't recognize that tune. Where's Terry? Let me talk to Terry. I need him to reframe this for me yeah yeah that was a hard pass yeah okay so what is it like to then go record that song with tiesto so i recorded it sent him my vocals and then he just built the entire song around it wow to me this feels like

your halloween thing a little bit and i think the thing people are mad about or get touchy about is when they're like, you're already a success with this. Why are you trying to do that? What I think is actually happening is this is like your Halloween thing. I want to make this song. I'm not trying to fucking get rich off an album. No, she's following the joy. Because also, to be honest with you, people have to stream gazillion times your song in order for you to get $1,000, let's say.

You have to have one or two million streams so you really have to have a lot of people stream your stuff in order for you to actually get anything and you have to tour when you do music that's how you make your money it's really just the passion of it and i really thought they need that song out there i mean how many times do you wish in the middle of the night you have a pair of sunglasses or how many times do you see people with sunglasses because you've been out for too long your eyes are already wonky maybe your makeup is not looking too cute anymore so it's always good to wear some sunglasses when you have glasses on it's almost like you can hide behind it a little bit so you can be maybe a little bit more free people can't look you in the eye. Although you wearing sunglasses seems like a real

waste of a thing. Well, sometimes she needs to keep them for herself. Yeah, I guess that's what it is. Maybe they're mirrored on the inside and she just stares at them herself and enjoys them. Just looking at myself. And make them dance and smile. Yeah. Maybe that's what you should be. Well, this was a fucking party.

I didn't know what to expect. I didn't know what to expect either. What would you rate this out of 10, the experience? 10. Yay. Me too. Me too. I might even try to go 11 out of 10.

Because also I don't listen to podcasts at all. Well, you clearly don't have time to do that. Yeah, exactly. It's not even necessarily like a time thing. I just hate them. I also don't watch TV either. Yeah. Okay.

Well, your brain is too busy. That's going to be a problem for you guys in the reality show. I know, but I don't watch that much TV. I don't. I really don't. Only if I'm binging something. You will watch Contagion six times in a row. That was during the pandemic only when it was on brand.

Don't listen to her. She watches a ton of TV and movies. She gets great comfort out of it, and you shouldn't feel ashamed of it. I never like anything. My husband is like, what did you think of this? And I'm like, eh. Name one thing you liked. I liked Maestro. Okay, great. I mean, I felt like that was a

really good movie. What about White Lotus? I watched that. Okay. I watched both seasons. Well, if you watch both seasons, you couldn't have hated the first. Well, because there's other shows where I watched one season and then the second season came and I'm like, it's just more of the same. And then I get bored when it's a lot of the same again. What about

Squid Game's Challenge? I did watch a little bit of the Squid Game. With your boys probably, right? We watched it as a family. It's fun, right? I mean, are you talking about now when they do this with real people? Yes, the new one. The reality show. No, I haven't watched that. You should watch it with your kids.

It's fun. It's a great family show. Yeah, because, no. I haven't watched that. You should watch it with your kids. It's a great family show. Yeah, because everyone can get sucked into the thing. But what's an even better family show? America's Got Talent. That's right. 100%. Fantasy League. Everyone should check it out on Mondays at 8 p.m.

Eastern Pacific on NBC and the next day on Peacock. Peacock, ding, ding, ding. Your outfit. They were very excited that I was a peacock. I bet they, ding, ding, ding. Your outfit. They were very excited that I was a peacock. I bet they were. They should have actually paid for that.

They should have, yeah. I hope we did Jennifer Love proud. Yeah, me too. She enjoys this. Jen Love, we love you. I love you the most. We haven't met you yet.

Heidi, this has been so fun. I hope we get to do it again. Good luck with everything. Thank you. All right. Bye-bye. Stick around for the fact check. Because they're human, they make lots of mistakes.

Okay. Something horrible happened. Oh, no. What? You seem kind of in a good mood for horrible. Like delirious? Yeah. Interesting read on the line.

Something horrible happened. I make interesting acting choices. Yeah, I know. That's what's kept you employed for all these years. That's right. Yesterday, I was so tired. Well, you don't know about something that happened this weekend. Oh.

Easter egg, I talk about it on Singed next week. Okay. But I basically was on a martini adventure this weekend. Oh. Easter egg, I talk about it on Singed next week. Okay. But I basically was on a martini adventure this weekend. Oh. Of making my own, like learning how. Okay, in the home, not like a pub crawl martini crawl. In the home. What would we call a martini crawl?

A martini march. Oh, I like that. It sounds Nazi. Yeah. Yeah, marches. Yeah. They've taken march. It's a bummer because it's also for activists.

You wanted to make a martini at home. I've been making martini. I made two martinis this weekend. Okay. And I'm practicing. I want to be good at it. I'm so sorry. How could it be that hard?

You're mixing two, three items in a glass? There's no baking. There's no whipping. There's no. There's an art to it. And there's two kinds. There's a kind that there's no whipping, there's no... There's an art to it and there's two kinds. There's a kind that you stir. Okay.

And then there's kind that you shake. Shake, that's how 007 likes it, shaking that stir. Exactly, but it's knowing which ones are better stirred and which are better shaken. Okay. And there's a contra mal. I use a lemon twist and you have this long stir and it's like curled.

The stirrer is. A glass stirrer? No, it's metal. It's metal. It's long. It's for your stirring apparatus. Yeah. And then you cut a little bit of lemon, and you twist it on the curly.

The apparatus. And that's how you make it curly. And you have to do it over the glass, and you have to get the aromas out. It's a whole thing. Wow, a lot of pressure. You have to chill your over the glass and you have to get the aromas out. It's a whole thing. Wow. A lot of pressure. You have to chill your glass. It's really fun. Yeah.

But I also made an espresso martini. Oh, okay. It's fun. And that has a lot more going on, right? And that one requires a shaker, which I didn't have. I'm shocked. I know. So I made it this weekend with the stirring apparatus and it was good.

I made it this weekend with the stirring apparatus, and it was good. It tasted very good, but it didn't have that foam on top. Oh, that's what you're looking for is a froth? Yeah, for that kind. After this, I'm going to tell you how to make a Jack and Diet. Okay. I hope there are aromas involved. Wow, Jack is very pungent.

So I was with Jess on Monday, I think, and we went looking for a martini shaker. And the city was sold out. Wow. No martini shakers. But then I was at Cara. We went to Cara after the martini hunt, martini march. Yeah. And I brought up, I was looking for a martini shaker, and the nice manager said, oh, you should go to Bar Keeper or Bar Keepers or something in Silver Lake. So then yesterday I took a nap.

I was so tired. Yeah. Oh. Really winded. I was. I took a nap at 3.30. How long did it go? 4.25.

But I wanted to sleep for the rest of the night. You did. You were gassed. Exhausted.30. How long to go? 4.25. But I wanted to sleep for the rest of the night. You did. You were gassed. Exhausted. Wow. I have January Lyme's disease. Oh, okay. Seasonal Lyme's?

Yeah, but luckily tomorrow I should be better. Okay. That's unsynced. Nope. It's just today's the last day of January. Okay, okay. I was so tired, but I had a lot to do. I had to do two full edits

i thought fuck i'm gonna need a pick-me-up uh-huh this is dangerous i went to barkeepers whatever that place is right i they had a martini shaker i bought it brought it home i love that you you woke up you're groggy and you, God, I have so much to do. I got to go get a martini shaker to get going. Because I thought, you know what would be a fun pick-me-up? An espresso martini. A little late in the day, no? Or does the alcohol offset?

You're way ahead. Okay, sorry. That's a bad habit of mine from Armchair Anonymous. So I make the espresso martini. It's perfect with the shaker. It has the froth of mine from Armchair Anonymous. So I make the espresso martini. It's perfect with the shaker. It has the froth. Oh, it's so good. And it's tricky because there's like two ounces of espresso in there.

Yes. But I don't think about that because it's a little chocolatey and yummy. I use a little chocolate liqueur in there. Oh my gosh. So good. So happy. I decide I use a little chocolate liqueur in there. Oh, my gosh. So good. So happy. I decide. Have a second.

I have another entire edit to go. Yeah. I don't think this is like doing that much. I'll make one more. Oh, boy. This is at like. Second shot of espresso. 7.30.

This is so reckless. I didn't think about it. Did you not think about it or did you choose not to think about it? No, this is what I thought. I only thought about the alcohol. Okay, right. And you're like, well, that'll make me drowsy. Well, no, I was like, should I have another martini that's another two ounces of vodka?

Should I do that? It's fine. Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah. I didn't think at all about the espresso. Oh, boy. Because I'm't think at all about the espresso. Oh, boy. Because I'm not that well-versed in espresso and caffeine and stuff. Yeah, you're new to it still.

Fuck. So I drink it all, and I do the whole thing. I finish at 10.30. Okay. I was like, this is great. Go to bed at 11.15. Maybe listen to the same podcast for a minute exactly then i'll re-listen i should say i'll re-listen and then i'll sleep but be asleep by 11 15 that's when i was like i feel kind of like weird i guess it's the and i thought maybe i was

like am i drunk i wasn't drunk at all. So much espresso. That's why you do coke while you drink. It keeps you straight. I was like, well, I'm not drunk, but what's this feeling? And then I remembered, oh, no. Uh-huh. And I don't, I didn't really sleep last night.

Oh, my God. Monty, you're going to turn into a little monster. I know. Money monster. I feel crazy. I feel like it's still in me, the caffeine. Oh my God. You're going to have to have another.

This is how you become an alcoholic. You're going to have to maintain now for the rest of the day. I thought this. I was like, I'm going to crash so hard, but I can't. I don't have time. So I'll probably have to drink another coffee or make another espresso martini but I'll probably just drink coffee you might need the booze to take the edge off this is like a speedball basically oh um you feel like I felt for years

years I felt like for years like I would go to the groundlings on Sunday for the show, and I would have to drink, like, literally 50, 60 ounces of coffee to rebound from the previous night of drug use. Ugh. Terrible sleep. This is. And I'd have to rally, and I'd be kind of, you're kind of altered. Yeah. Yeah. But I don't want to live like this anymore.

No. This was a mistake. You learned your lesson. Yeah. Yeah. You shouldn't have espresso in the evening. But would one have been fine? I don't know what your tolerance is.

For me, absolutely not. If I have a shot of espresso, unless I'm in Italy on vacation, then nothing, I'm inoculated from all things. I know. I can eat gluten. You know, they say it's different. Maybe that's the case. Maybe not.

But I can also drink an espresso late in the day and I'm fine. Yeah. Because I'm on vacation. Sure. But in real life, that's way too late for an espresso. For me, anything after three, I'm asking for trouble. That early? Yeah.

Well, it takes, depending on how you metabolize caffeine, everyone's different. But generally speaking, it takes 12 hours for your body to consume all the caffeine. Are espresso martinis for the morning? That doesn't even make sense. No, but—well, no, it doesn't. But you have to—well, first of all, Italians do drink espresso all night long. They have it after dinner. I don't know how they do that.

Also, people drink Red Bull and vodka. So people are often trying to have a lot of caffeine with their alcohol to stave off the drowsiness. Yeah. Is stave off a word? Am I using that correctly? I think so. Okay. Stir is a tough word for me.

Stir? You said it so many times. I want to say steer or stir. Really? Steer. The steer. Say the sentence. I steered up a pot of, stirred up, stirred up.

Oh my God. It's a tough one. And then when I'm trying to spell it when I'm writing, it's tough. Cause it's the ER. I don't even know like phonetically how you'd actually spell it. Right. Cause you want it to be stire or something. Well, right.

How do you say it? Stir. Stir. Oh, maybe it's the like weird R. Like it should be S-T-U-R. Oh, it could be S-T-U-R. Oh, it could be S-T-U-R. Right? Yeah, stir.

I don't think I. Then I think I, I think steer. I don't know, is it steer? If it was steer, it would be S-T-E-E-R. E-E-E. And if it was stire, it would be S-T-I-R-E. Oh, this is like a game, a puzzle game we played. Yes, we went on a really fun podcast, AJ Jacobs.

I'm going to toot my own horn. That joke I came up with at the end of the podcast one, I couldn't believe I came up with it as it was coming out of my mouth. So the premise of this game we were playing was you're going to change a single letter in the name of a popular podcast. Oh, yeah. And then there would be a clue. So like one was such and such and such, that this host and procurer of a green colored citrus. So then it was this American life, but you change it to this American lime and you just change the F and the M.

And we did about five of them. And I said to him, I wasted all this time trying to figure out when the smart list clue was coming out. Cause a popular podcast is, we're going to hear smartless. And he's like, yeah, but there's no letter you can change in smartless to make it another word. And then I immediately said, these three hosts never have accidents in their underwear. Shartless. Yeah. You know, I thought you were like that. I did, I did.

You just don't like me bringing it up. Exactly. Okay, well, how do I share that joke with everyone? Because it's worth sharing. I think sometimes, you know that thing you taught your kids about let other people brag for you? But you didn't think I would ever brag for you about that. Well, I just, I wanted people to hear Shartless in that setup. Okay.

So I don't know how to do that. Like, I want everyone to hear that. You should ask AJ for the clip of it, and then you can post it. Exactly. Okay. That's a great way to do it. That's a great way to do it. Okay.

Anyway, what's up with you? How was your evening? Did you stay up all night? No. In fact, I went to bed quite early. I had a doctor's appointment. Good news, no skin cancer. Good. Full scan.

Everything's golden. Also made an appointment for the full body scan that I'm going to have this Saturday morning. What an ethical dilemma. It is tricky. Like I'm very excited to have it and naturally nervous. Like, you know, you go rooting around looking through the whole body. What are we going to find? But, of course, I feel very good.

So I'm like if I have something, now's the time to have something because if I started some kind of treatment for anything, like I'm already in great shape. I'm not waiting until like I'm sick and run down from something. Yeah, but it's that whole question. They invented this question on an episode of Scrubs. I remember that. It was such a big episode. Was it their biggest episode? One of.

Okay. The wedding was also big. Okay. Ding, ding, ding, Bill Lawrence. Ding, ding, ding, Noah Hawley. Ding, ding, ding, Bill Lawrence. Ding, ding, ding, Noah Hawley. Ding, ding, ding, Sarah Lawrence. What if they tell you that we see something, it could turn into something. Right.

But there's nothing you can do. Yes. So, yes, I'm very well aware of that. People, it's hard to know when they spot some kind of a mass or a tumor, whether that is a fast spreading one, or is that something that's going to be almost dormant in your body until you're dead? Obviously you don't want to go in surgically and remove something that is not growing, but that's fine. Cause you want, if you saw something, it's not like we go in there and cut it out.

It's like, okay, great. In a year I get another full body scan and we will know whether it's growing or not. So it's great info to have not to act immediately, but to be able to track whatever weird things are happening nearby to see if they're spreading or getting worse. I mean, okay. So we have a friend, I don't know how much I can reveal about this, but we have a friend who has a relative who has essentially been diagnosed with, I think, leukemia. Or hot, or a little. No, leukemia.

I think it's leukemia. But it's like this, right? Like, it hasn't developed yet. Right. But they have said, it's coming. Yes. There's nothing you can do. Right.

So now everyone's just sort of sitting with, well, this is coming. Yeah. And that sucks. But the upside is, is a lot of people with leukemia will ignore symptoms probably for six months. Like they'll be exhausted. So by the time they're going in there to treat it, the thing has the upper hand. It's true. Then you're more aware.

So many cancers are operable for a period of time and then they're inoperable. So like my father's lung cancer was inoperable. They would have to remove all of his lungs. But there was a moment in time where they could have gone in and cut out a portion of his lung and then he wouldn't have had it. So that's what I'm most interested in. I guess it just, it could be 10 years down the road. And then for 10 years, it's like, when is the shoe going to drop? Yeah, that's true. It's just another mental challenge to like stay in today. And there's so many of those already that I'm juggling, you know?

Yeah. Anyways, I'm excited for that. Mostly I'm excited at the notion is I might get a full scan and be like you are fucking tip top at 49 that would be great that would counteract my other narrative which is everyone that's male in my family dies young right which i i wouldn't mind some data points oh i know what i was gonna say we went through the same thing when we did 23 and me like you are rolling the dice you're gonna find out you have some genetic stuff you can't really control do you remember when we took it and it's you're kind of like we both like, I don't know if I want to do this. What's better to know or to not know? Yeah. But I think it's a little crazy to say not know is better. This one's a little more intense. I mean,

I don't know. I don't judge people for choosing to just like, let's just ride it out. Let's just do life. Sure, sure, sure, sure. And I don't judge people when they take a course of action or treatment that doesn't prolong their life the most. For many people, the choice will be when they get diagnosed with cancer, let's not treat it. It's going to be a very marginal extension, and it's going to lower my quality of life with what little time I have left. And I totally am in agreement with that. At any rate, did that, came home yeah took the girls to their music lesson which was really funny for me i haven't taken them before and i got to meet their two music teachers and it's just hysterical to watch them walk in a door with a cello and a guitar and i'm like

i don't think they don't know neither of these things and here they are that's how they learn i know it's just really funny like i'm they're humans. They're like, they have instruments they're going somewhere with. It's really funny. I enjoyed it. And then we laid in bed and listened to Hunger Games, which they're listening to, which is very fun for me to listen to. Because I loved it when I first got it read to me so many years ago. It was so fun. Oh, yeah.

Kristen read it to you. Yeah, a long time ago. And so I'm remembering how much I liked that book. Then put them down. Then finish the last episode of, and this is a very important topic for us to talk about. I know all of America's talking about it. American Nightmare. Have you started it? No. Have you, Rob? It's number one on Netflix. Everyone's talking about it. It's a three-part documentary. And to remind you, maybe you remember it from the news. I just vaguely did. A woman was kidnapped from her bedroom.

She was laying with her boyfriend. The first episode is very much about that. She's missing. They're interrogating the boy. And they're very much of the belief he has murdered her and there was no kidnapping. And they were calling it in the media. And it was on everything. It was on the Today Show.

And everyone was like the whole nation was talking about the real Gone Girl case. So it was recent. It was not terribly long ago. I want to say 2014. 2015. 2015. 2015. This doc has like the three craziest twists and turns.

It's so good. And I finished that at like 9.30 and I was asleep before 10. Wow. Very rare for me. Are you starting to get tired right now? No. Oh. I'm still very much awake.

Tell me about your night of sleep. Like what, were you getting an hour here and an hour? Did you give up and start watching TV at any point? No, I didn't. You laid in bed for eight hours. Yeah. I mean, I'm sure I point? No, I didn't. You laid in bed for eight hours. Yeah. I mean, I'm sure I slept some, but I don't know. And for so many hours, I had this crazy spiral about my outfits for-

These parties that are approaching. Yes. And then I kept like, I just was trying to decide what my outfits were going to be. But it was manic. Uh-huh. But I couldn't turn it off. Yeah, compulsive and. Yeah, I mean, induced by all this caffeine.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, where like you were telling yourself to stop thinking about your outfits, but you couldn't. Yeah. I gotta hate that. All right, I have a lot of facts, actually. Okay, let's go. This is for Heidi Klum. We had so much fun with Heidi.

Playing it fast and loose with the facts. Oh, she's go. This is for Heidi Klum. We had so much fun with Heidi. Playing it fast and loose with the facts. Oh, she was fun. She was right about how the pear gets into the schnapps bottle. Oh. They attach it. The pear grows inside the bottle. They stick the bottles over a budding pear tree branch and secure them with wires and gardener's tape, and they wait for the buds to grow into the pear inside the glass.

I want that, but it's alcohol, right? Yeah, you can't have that. We could make one for you that's just pear. Right. And water. Oh, back to the Jack and Diet. Here's three ice cubes, drop them in, fill the glass, a third full of Jack Daniels and the remaining two thirds with Diet Coke.

No need to stir, no need to shake. No need to stir. Yeah. You have to stir. You know, before you take a sip, you spin around the ice inside. Oh, you swirl? Swirl, swirl. Okay. You have to tell those parts. That's a huge part.

I'll say swirled, not stirred. Have you ever shaken a Jack and Diet? No. I wonder what it would be. It would blow up because of the carbonation of the diet. You can't shake it. I'm going to try it. Also, a smarter move, but I never did it this way, would be to put the Diet Coke in first because I think the whiskey is heavier. So it would then naturally.

You have a lot of research that you can't do that you should have done. Yeah, I know. Okay. This is the episode where the garage opened a lot. And can you hear it? Yeah, except it only happened once out loud. Okay, well, we did a fact check afterwards, and that might have been when it really took off. Maybe.

No, it happened during the interview a few times. I don't know why. But you just can't hear it. No, we acknowledge it once. Well, she was like, what's that noise? Is that going to mess up the audio or the sound? And he says, probably my wife trying to blast her buns. Yes. But it wasn't. It was you blasting the remote with your buns. I guess so. In the chair. For people who don't remember, the remote had been sandwiched between the folds of Monica's's lazy boy and every

time she moved around it opened and closed after i had accused every member of my family of doing it i know and i feel weird about that because i feel like it's my fault but it's definitely not my fault well you didn't put the clicker for the garage in there i had no idea but you were activating it i was activating it but i didn't even i hadn't i don't touch the garage in there. I had no idea. But you were activating it. I was activating it, but I didn't even, I don't touch the garage openers. It's not in your purview. At all. So the idea that it would ever be in my chair.

Same. That's why I never, you know. That's weird. Now you said, you were saying a bunch of magazines. You said Marie Callender. That is. A restaurant. Yep, that's a deli. It was a great saladender. That is- A restaurant. Yep, that's a deli.

It was a great salad bar. Salad bar, cafeteria. Really good potato cheese soup there. Yeah. Brie and I would go on our birthdays. You meant Marie Claire. Yeah, that's right. Some people say Mary Claire.

Oh, they do? Yeah, and I think that might be right, but it's kind of like- Bougie. Oh, it's like Neanderthal. Yeah, okay. Okay, I looked up, does anxious sweat, like stress sweat, smell more than regular sweat? When the body is reacting to an emotion like anxiety, stress, or excitement, sweat is released from the apocrine glands. These glands produce a milkier sweat

comprised of fatty acids and proteins. The apocrine glands are found near dense pockets of hair follicles under the arms, around the groin, and on the scalp. While this type of sweat is initially odorless, it doesn't evaporate

as quickly and can develop an odor when it combines with bacteria on the skin. Oh, boy. I don't like the idea of milky sweat. Me either. The grody. That's what happens. I immediately think of Tilda Swinton in my favorite movie,

Michael Clayton, where she has to go into the bathroom to dab her armpits and it is a mess. It's like someone threw a bucket of water on each. And I think that was probably- It was milky. Milky and- Sticky. Pewy. And pusey. Pusey. Very pusey. That's an Easter egg. Okay. FKK, what does it mean? Because that's the nudist.

It means free body culture. Free body culture. It's German. F-B-K? It's F-K-K because in German it's Reichsgruppe Kultur. Oh, okay. I don't think I brought this up in the interview. Nailed it. But I saw her talking about it in other interviews.

Her father filmed her delivery. Oh, wow. about it in other interviews her father filmed her delivery oh wow which falls in line with this totally different relationship yeah yeah interesting i think sometimes people used to do that the dads would film the daughters or like a baby it wasn't oh her birth yes she the father Her birth? Yes. The father came to her delivering her children and filmed. Yeah, I was a little shocked you weren't a little more. Because all the previous American interviewers were a little bit like, ooh, for us, that's great. It sounded like her birth. No, from her own mother.

No, no, no. Her father videotaped her birth. Wow. Yeah. Very open. Yes. Her vagina. Figuratively and literally and emotionally.

One of my favorite thing is that she's so savvy and smart. She knows that's for Americans, that's a wild thing to say. And she'll just go on a talk show and be like, yeah, yeah, my father filmed it. She's very comfortable. Incredibly. She's awesome. Okay. I looked up pedophile percentage by country.

Because you were talking about perversions, and I said, like, about all this nudist stuff, is it a bit scary? Because there are predators. And then you said, well... I think, yeah, I think it's the opposite, personally. Well, you say that, but also you are a person who you'd look because i'm from this culture i'm not german

like what i notice is when you're in the park and everyone's naked or i'm in the sauna and everyone's naked i'm the only person activated or curious or looking around and it's on tv and commercials there like your regular old shampoo commercial might have breasts in them. So people aren't as like I just think repression leads to the pathology of it. I think that's right. But okay, so these are the top five countries with the highest rates

of child sexual abuse. Okay. South Africa, India, Zimbabwe, UK, and United States. Good old USabwe, UK, and United States. Good old US. Well, okay, UK and the US are highly puritanical and repressed and Elizabethan.

And India is very... Conservative. Conservative. Yeah. I don't know about the African countries. I can't speak on either of those. Okay. The bra, the fantasy bra, the Victoria's Secret fantasy bra. You know, that's on the fashion show, the Angels fashion show.

Yeah, it was always a big deal. It's a big deal. Yeah. How much does it cost? And it changes every year. So I got a- It's such a great gimmick. It is.

It got people like, it got press. People were like, this year's dream bra was- Fantasy bra. Fantasy bra. Yeah. Okay. So year's dream bra was a fantasy bra. Yeah. Okay, so I have a history of the fantasy bra. Oh, wonderful. Okay, in 96, Claudia Schiffer wore it.

Oh. And it was called the Million Dollar Miracle Bra. It was a million dollars. It had 100 carats of diamonds. Okay. Then in 97, Tyra wore it. It was called the Diamond Dream Bra. It had a 42-carat stone

at the center. It was $3 million. Oh! Okay, now we're getting... Then, in 98, Daniela Pistova wore the Dream Angel Fantasy Bra. $5 million. They painted themselves into a corner.

They did. They have to keep topping themselves. Floral Pattern, embellished with diamonds and rubies. Okay, 99. Heidi, Millennium Bra, 10 million. Okay, now we're into nine digits or whatever that is. It was encrusted with more than 2,000 diamonds and sapphires. Oh.

Okay, then we're looking at Giselle. Now we're looking at it. And so is Tom. This is 2,000. 15 mil. Ooh. God, now they're really ratcheting it up. It's called Red Hot Fantasy Bra.

It's going to be like 50 million by the time we get to today. I know. It says the Red Hot Fantasy Bra is the most expensive piece of lingerie ever made. Until the next year. Okay, because they brought it back down, okay? Okay. Because in 2001, because of the recession, Heidi, again.

Good for her. She wore the Heavenly Star bra, $12.5 million. Okay, so it went down that year. It went down. Interesting. Okay. So silly. I'm going to move fast.

Okay, next, Karolina Kir going to move fast. Okay. Next, Karolina Kirkova, 10 million. Then Heidi again. Look at her. She's 11 million in 2003. 2004, Tyra again, 10. 2005, Giselle, 12.5. Ooh, in 2006, big drop.

Karolina Kirkova, 6.5. Ooh, puked. Embarrassing. Puked. Okay, 2007, Salida E. Banks, 4.5. That's bad. That's really bad. I think she's a person of color, so I feel like that's why it happened. Oh, but Tyra had expensive ones.

Oh, yeah, you're right. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Really calling out Victoria's Secret. Just volleying about the accusation of racism. 2008, Adriana Lima, 5 million. 2009, Marissa Miller, 3 million. Yeah, because of the recession.

Yeah. It had been seen as inausture. 2010, 2 million. Ay, K. We're going to get back down to 25K. It would have been seen as in a store. 2010, 2 million. We're going to get back down to 25K. It was like a $1,500 broad. Okay, 2011, 2.5 million. 2012, 2.5 million.

2013, 10 million. Wow, we're back up. They recommitted. Because it seems, and I don't know the trajectory of Vicky Seeky. Yeah. I don't know. Do you think it's paralleling their performance in the marketplace? I'm sure.

Yeah. Well. Because that guy's a billionaire. Yes. The early 2000s were huge for Victoria's Secret. Huge. I spent a lot of money there. Vicky Seeks.

Yeah. It feels like, is it Vicky Sees? In chips chips we call them vicky seeks oh okay okay okay in 2014 there were two models four million combined it's two a pop it doesn't say. That's one million per cup. 2015, Lily Aldridge, two million. 2016, Jasmine Tewks, three million. 2017, two million. 2018, one million. And then it ended. And then they brought it back last year, but maybe they didn't do the— They did not go out strong.

One million. That was down to the full circle, I guess. Maybe they're like, let's end it where we started it. Definitely by 2018, it's not as popular. I never go there anymore. Do you think you'll be asked to join the— I'm too short. My breasts could do it, but my body can't.

Your breasts wrote a check your body can't cash. Exactly. Exactly. I wonder what it would feel like. Probably uncomfortable. It would feel so uncomfortable. Heavy. I mean, $15 million of jewels got away a bit.

And it was scratch. Not like skims. Very comfortable. Very, very soft. Okay. Okay. The song. The conversation about worms was so funny.

Yeah. What does she call them? Rainworms. Rainworms. That was so funny. She's so cute and funny. Okay. Now I want to play something for you. Do peacocks lay eggs?

Sure. Peacocks are males. So peahens are the women oh oh i just said sure okay ready oh my god the fucking... Hit pause. This is the biggest ding, ding, ding of our career. Why? That is the goddamn song I was singing her,

telling her to sing that she made fun of me about. That's why I'm playing it. Oh, I thought you were playing me something about rainworms. Why didn't you just go to Spotify to listen to it? And that's the problem? What am I doing right now? Well, I don't know how you needed to hear an ad to hear a song, but anyways.

I had to Google. Oh my God, that was hilarious. Because you didn't say the name of it. That was hilarious. I thought that was like, I thought it was gonna be a clip of her in her Halloween outfit talking about it and that they had put this song to it.

No, I was just playing you the song you sang. Oh, fuck. Wow. That was exciting and a miss. Take me in a river of tears This could be the best place yet But you must overcome your fears Oh, in time Could have been so much more The time is precious, I know

In time I do know this song. This is the beautiful part right here. Won't give me time. That's the song you were singing. How dare her poo-poo that song? Although she was really just poo-pooing my voice. She didn't know what you were singing and neither did I. But now we all know.

Now we all know. Let's see. Is there anything else worth saying? How many roller coaster rides get stuck? Okay, actually, this is worth reading. This is from NPR. Here's what to know about roller coaster safety after two recent scares. This was in July of last year.

In Carowinds Amusement Park in North Carolina, they shut down its marquee roller coaster because it made a big crack in one of the supports. And then after that, eight passengers were stuck upside down for hours. Upside down. In Wisconsin. Some states, too, Nevada and Wyoming, they don't have any regulations governing amusement and fixed site parks. But I guess it's like growing that more states are adding regulations. So it's kind of like willy-nilly.

Yeah, but I got to be honest. They're running those rides like a kabillion times a day, 365. I think the incident rate is insanely low of getting into any trouble on it yeah yeah it is but you don't want to be upside down for four hours like i certainly not what's funny is i can imagine a state enacting this department and then like looking on linkedin or whatever who do they hire and how does anyone know if the thing's going to shit out? I don't really trust that there's that knowledgeable other than like the handful of manufacturers of the actual rides themselves. It's such a bizarre thing to predict. The standards apply to everything from design and manufacture to installation, testing, commissioning, and operation.

They look at them every year, issuing those operating permits, making sure they can see the documentation of how those rides are being maintained and how they're being inspected. The inspection model is like the commercial aircraft model, which also consists of different types of inspections based on hours of flight and all layered on top of each other to create a rigorous inspection schedule. But then, yeah, it's like state by state. State by state. So it sounds like if you want to open an amusement park, Nevada's the spot for you. No, do it right. Do the right thing. All right.

Well, that was it for Heidi. I loved her. She was very fun. Incredibly fun. Yeah. Too much fun. What a hoot. Yeah.

We had a great time. Her and I were kindred spirits. We had a lot in common. Absolutely. Don't let the cover of the book fool you. You guys are twins. Exactly. All right.

Love you. Love you.