Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard - Holiday Spectacular 2024

Episode Date: December 20, 2024

Join Dax & Monica for our annual holiday spectacular with as we harmonize holiday hymns with Kristen Bell, Anna Kendrick, and Gabe Gibbs, divulge Anna's Christmas candy colored explosion, learn the etymology of Bah Humbug, sing why Wobby Wob’s the weason for the season, and heal the childhood gift wound. Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondery App or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch new content on YouTube or listen to Armchair Expert early and ad-free by joining Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify. Start your free trial by visiting wondery.com/links/armchair-expert-with-dax-shepard/ now.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondery Plus subscribers can listen to Armchair Expert early and ad free right now. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts. From Wondery, I'm Raaza Jaffri. And in the latest season of The Spy Who, we open the case file on Mance Clubin, the spy who gave London its Christmas tree. If you stand in London's Trafalgar Square at Christmas, you'll see a towering, sparkling tree.

What you won't see is the story behind it. The story of Måns Klubben, 007 author Ian Fleming, and a secret mission to Norway. This is how wartime espionage gave Britain's capital city a much-cherished festive tradition. Follow the Spy Who on the Wondery app or wherever you listen to podcasts. Or you can binge the full season of The Spy Who Gave London its Christmas tree early and ad-free with Wandery Plus. celebrity guests try to persuade the Grinch that there's more to love about the holiday season. Follow Tis the Grinch Holiday Podcast on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. He's an up-chair expert. He's an up-chair expert. He's an enchanted

She's an enchanted That one I got for you, Monty. Oh my God, fun! Oh, okay. Yes, thank you. And if anyone gets- Oh! That's really something. Jacob, are you in need of a hat? Someone else needs one. Are you still pushing your merch brand? Do you wanna get that out on the- This is actually a friend of mine's thing. But I'll wear that guy.

Which one, sparkly? I think I'll go sparkly. You feels like a sparkly guy to me. You just feels like a sparkly guy. Okay, welcome everybody to the Christmas episode. Happy holidays. Jingle, jingle. Okay, so we have really fun guests, of course.

People will know you, Anna Kendrick. People know you, Kristen Bell. People are going to, a lot of people will know you guys, but a lot of people will be meeting you. Gabe Gibbs, I got to see you for the first time perform. What were you guys doing? What was that called? A cabaret show? Oh, yeah. I'm meeting you. Yeah. Gabe Gibbs. Yeah. I got to see you for the first time perform. What were you guys doing? What was that called?

The Cabaret Show. Oh, yeah. Yeah. A cabaret show, yes. Okay, great. Emily Goley's Cabaret Show. That's how it's pronounced. And first check in the great category is you're a Michigander.

Yeah, baby. Yeah. If the hat didn't. Oh my God, thank you guys for the hat. The lion's hat. Oh, so good, go team. And where are you from in Michigan, Gabe? I'm from like Rochester area.

Right. Yeah. We talked about that, exit 69, Big Beaver. That's right. That was your exit. That's right. That's a for real thing. It is. Hannah, you don't know that about Michigan. I don't know anything about Michigan. Big Beaver Road is exit number 69 on I-75.

Oh no. It's locked in. They did it on purpose? They did. We had a field day with that growing up. I sure. It's locked in. They did it on purpose? They did. We had a field day with that growing up. I'm sure. We were all learning to drive, like where are you gonna drive to? I don't know, probably Big Beaver 69.

Ha! Some nasty city planners. Wow. I like that, rascals. And then where are you from? I'm from South Florida. You are? Yeah.

Okay. Let's get his name. Oh, Jacob. Jacob Jeffries. Yeah. And you and Wobby Wob already know each other. Yeah, I know Wobby. I met Wobby his name. Oh, Jacob. Jacob Jeffreys. Yeah. And you and Wobby Wob already know each other. Yeah, I know Wobby.

I met Wobby at a pool party, right? A long time ago? Yeah, that's right. That's right. Was Wobby in swimwear? I was gonna ask that too. We might have been in swimwear together. Was he wearing a Speedo?

No, but picture it. It could be fun. Well, he told us that he just shaved his pubic hair. No. not just. Wow. One time, you did it one time into a landing strip for bunnies. We were talking about whether a Brazilian

had the landing strip or not, and then somehow we learned, this was just a couple weeks ago, that Wob gave himself a landing strip just to make Natalie laugh. Wobbie, in the comments I'm sure you've seen, people love that. Of course, who doesn't I'm sure you've seen, people love that. Of course, who doesn't love that?

Yeah, he's a wascle. Okay, so we're gonna sing a bunch of songs. We're going to learn some backstory on Christmas, favorite presents, that type of thing. We're gonna eat a lot of cookies and sweets. Wabi Wabi, of course, always makes really delicious cookies and rice krispie treats. And then I have a surprise surprise too, a culinary surprise.

And so we'll be breaking to Chowdown at some point too, and then we'll do a gift exchange, and that's the run of the show. So what I would love to do, instead of trying to describe Gabe your genius, I would love to start with a little taste of your. Sure. Yeah, your. Sure, sure. Your focus as a musician. Jacob and I can switch. We can switch real quick, a little shuffle of your focus as a musician.

Jacob and I can switch. We can switch real quick, a little shuffle-roo. Also, huge shout out to Wobby Wob, because the garage looks insane. I especially love that the sorting hat is wearing a Christmas hat. Oh my god. It's a nice touch. That's so cute. Also, the crow is wearing a Christmas hat. Oh my God. It's very, it's a nice touch.

That's so cute. Oh my God. Also the crow is wearing a little hat. Crow he is. That bunch is so cute. And thank you Lincoln and Delta. I stole the tree out of their bedroom and they don't know that.

That's the tree from their bedroom? Yes. I thought you threw it out because they were both saying the needles were falling and I was like, thank God he threw it out. No, I threw it in here. I threw it in. You know what I like?

I like a candy cane ornament. It's very classic. Yeah, you would with some white lights. Yeah, well candy cane ornaments really for colored lights. Sorry, before we kick off, just a quick vote. I know where you two stand, but are you a white light or a colored light person on your Christmas tree?

I can't really decide. I have scared people away by bringing them to my house around Christmas time, because I really go crazy. You do? Yeah. Harder than we do? All signs of mental illness come forward at Christmas time.

God, I like you so much. I have a silver and gold room, so it's like a monochromatic, so that's all, you know. Great. And then I have a green and brass room. So that's more like traditional warm, right? And then I started, aochromatic, so that's all, you know. And then I have a green and brass room. So that's more like traditional warm, right? And then I started a couple of years ago, I started collecting antique ornaments

from like the 50s and 60s. And that's kind of my like candy colored explosion room. Oh, do you need new pants, mommy? Do you need- Slip right off this couch. Oh, I love a theme and I love a holiday. And that really got my motor running. In the living room, I was wondering who did everything and I didn't, I mean, I assume it was sort of everyone,

a team effort, I don't know. No? No. There are some touches in there that I'm very impressed by. I like to have a theme every year. We've done Whoville and the Grinch, we've done Vintage Christmas, we've done a couple different things.

Candy? This year was gonna be Candy Christmas, a lot of pepperminty stuff, and then Wicked came out, and I said, psych, we're gonna rip it all down, which I did, and then went for the Wicked theme, and did everything pink and green, but I love a theme. Yeah, no, that's like a problem, and we're the same. Yeah.

And it's not a problem. Okay, okay. So the thing I hope people are tracking is like just a month ago, Anna said, you know, Kristen texted me and I really felt bad. I ghosted her because I was just nervous. And then we fixed that. And then you guys started texting. Oh, just wait.

Yes. You'll never see me again. Yeah. And now you're singing together. I just have, I have so much optimism about where this is going. Now we find out about this spectacular design, Christmas much optimism about where this is going. Now we find out about this spectacular design,

Christmas display. Yeah, this is exciting. This is exciting. Although I think the last time I saw you two, I did say, I don't know if it was in the episode or not, but I did say, oh, if I had to sing with Kristin, I would be very nervous. You did say that.

And I would wanna like get prepped for months and months. And did I have time for that? No ma'am. So, do I have a knot in my shoulder? Yes I do. Oh, it'll be. Did I pull out some of my eyebrows this morning? No I didn't.

It's a secret. I think you're delusional. You're delusional. Well I felt all the same things and I'm sweating. In fact I even put on a red tank top because I know I'm gonna start flashing when we start singing and I'm gonna take this off. Also let's make sure your visitor badge is still on yours. Yeah wait, are you a visitor? Also, let's make sure your visitor badge

is still on your, yeah, let's make sure. Oh, no. She wanted to brag that she helped kids today. Oh, that's nice. That's low money. That's really tasteless. I went to Children's Hospital. Oh, that's sweet.

Okay, Gabe, why don't you rock our world a little bit? Yeah, this needs a tiny bit of setup, if that's okay. Broadway does these things where they take existing, they're called jukebox musicals, and they take existing people's music and turn them into Broadway shows. And so I've been having fun on the internet and elsewhere turning things that I think should never be made

into Broadway shows, into Broadway shows. And they're on your Instagram, you have the most entertaining Instagram of all. What will people go to for that? It's just Gabe Gibbs at G-A-B-E-G-I-B-B-S. Wonderful. Thank you. It's also insane that I'm about to play these out loud in public, here we go.

This one is from a fictional Fergie musical. ["Fergie"] I'll be playing the role of Fergie musical. I'll be playing the role of Fergie. Just once, I want someone to ask me, ask me out on a date and ask me the questions I've been wanting to get asked like, What you gonna do with all that junk? With all that junk inside your trunk? And others like, what you gonna do with all that ass Oh, all that ass inside those jeans So I can tell him I will make you scream

With my humps, my humps My lady lumps My arms My lady loves my arms. Oh my God. It's so good because it's also really great. It's great that something's really funny and also really great. Thank you.

So what are your background? Have you been on Broadway? I have, I was in the Book of Mormon, the one the South Park guys wrote. Oh my goodness. Original? Yeah, no, not original. I ended up standing by for the now late great Gavin Creel, who just passed away, so he was there in that company

for a while, toured with it for a while, did it at the Pantages, which was cool. That's a cool theater. And then now you moved to LA, how many years ago? Yeah, I've been in LA for like almost 10 years now. Oh, okay, okay. Just bopping around the comedy scene with my wares. Yes.

Okay, I have a favorite and I've requested that you play it and I think that's next. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is from, again, I will be playing the titular role. I'll be playing the role of Missy Elliott in this Missy Elliott musical. Are you a Missy Elliott fan? I'm so excited.ular role. I'll be playing the role of Missy Elliott in this Missy Elliott musical. Are you a Missy Elliott fan? I'm so excited.

Hell yeah, dude. Yeah. Okay. ["Missy Elliott"] Is it worth it Let me work it. I'll put my thing down. Flip it and reverse it.

If you gotta beg, let me search ya. And find out how hard I gotta work ya. Is it worth it? Oh my God. Incredible. Those are the bits. How fun. Those are the bits. And there's a couple thousand of them on his Instagram. So cool. Yeah. Kristen spends a good hour and a half every night on her little space age mat.

Why you gotta out me like that? So sweet. Okay, so we've got quite a few Christmas songs to get through and quite a few great singers, so I think we should hop into. Switch a room? Yeah, let's do a switch a room. You're so playful when you say if you've got a big one.

The pause you take. No, the expression on your face, I was like, oh, I hate it. Yes. I hate it. Yes. Cause it's that pleased with yourself kind of, I mean, I wouldn't, but you know.

That like musical theater actor behavior. Yes, this feels good. That no one behaves this way except musical theater people. I was praying you'd say it, I'm not allowed to say it. Oh, it's too dangerous. It's born out, that's what it's born out of, is born out of theater people don I was praying you'd say it, I'm not allowed to say it. It's too dangerous. That's what it's born out of, is born out of theater people don't live in reality.

And so then we take these songs and we make them insane. In fairness, I don't want them to live in reality. Of course, they're singing, they're singing. I'm in love with you, because the reason he said he's not allowed to say it is because sometimes he comes at it too hard. Because I'd be like, yes, I agree. A lot of it is cheesy. And yes, I agree.

Nobody walks. Like, when you see a musical theater actor walk across the stage, they're always in like an earthquake windstorm. That's never how people walk. And I love it. I love it. And I can agree with you that's sometimes really silly.

But then sometimes Dax will like dig in and I'll say like, uh-uh. No, that's my medium. So I like. I think that's my medium. So I like- I think that's true of like ballet and opera. Like everyone has their own kind of set of rules and gestures and like the world is different. So I think musical theater is similar.

You're like, well, yeah, I mean, in ballet, they go to sleep like this. And we go, yeah, okay, you're sleeping. I'm into it because I'm into the medium. I guess if you came hard at ballet for sleeping like that, I'd feel a little bit more like you were, you know, a little bit more critical of everyone, but I think it's just because we discuss musical theater

so often because I bring it up. Exactly, we just have not yet talked. In 17 years, we've not gotten around to ballet yet. Other than the fact that I was in ballet for some period of time. That's true. Yeah. Yeah, a tiny, I had one recital

and my dad who was never around did come to that and he watched the thing and then when we were leaving, he said to my mother, okay, that was his last recital. Oh, there's no more of that. Oh. How old were you in Michigan? I similarly. I was probably seven.

Yeah. Lame. Yeah, I know. That's a bummer. That's something you could do in 1982. You could unilaterally say, that's a rap on that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's not around, but I still have this veto card. He missed an opportunity because Easter eggs, someone's coming here in a bit to help with the singing, whose son is a dancer. The best dancer. He's 11, he's the best dancer in the world, and Perfect 10 Charlie, his father, posted a whole thing, a video and a whole thing about it, and he called himself a dance dad,

and there's nothing hotter A dance dad. than a man calling themselves a dance dad. So your dad missed out, He could have been a dance dad and like that would have been hot. Cleaned up. Yes. Okay, what is the first song, my love?

Why don't we start out with a classic? Yes. Why don't we start out with something with the three of us. We're gonna hit you with one of the hot Christmas classics. Oh, wonderful. What are we getting to begin this? Would it be disrespectful if I'm enjoying a snack while you guys are singing?

No. I'd prefer it. I'm encouraged. Okay, great. Dinner theater. Great, and what's my start? Okay. Mm-mm-mm-mm. God rest ye merry gentlemen, let nothing you dismay. Remember Christ our savior was born on Christmas Day

To save us all from Satan's power when we were gone astray Oh tidings of comfort and joy, comfort and joy Oh tidings of comfort and joy In Bethlehem in Israel this blessed babe was born and laid within a manger upon this blessed morn to which his mother Mary did nothing take and scorn. Oh tidings of comfort and joy, comfort and joy. Oh tidings of comfort and joy, comfort and joy, Oh tidings of comfort and joy. From God our heavenly Father, a blessed angel came,

And unto certain shepherds brought tidings of the same, How that in Bethlehem was born the Son of God by name. Oh tidings of comfort and joy, comfort and joy. Oh tidings of comfort and joy. Oh my god. That's a slog. Hannah, do you want to do a musical at any point? Like on stage?

Yeah. Honestly, I've heard from folks that it's just so much harder than you think and it's harder than you remember and I barely remember because I was 12. Yeah. So the last time I did a live show, like a stage show, I think I was 17.

So yeah, I really like the part where I just have to get my voice ready for recording or filming, and then I don't have to think about it anymore. Even when we did, we did a bunch of the last five years live as much as we could, which wasn't a ton, but I didn't like having to kind of like live like a soldier and not like drink and not have cheese and, I'm just such having to kind of live like a soldier and not drink and not have cheese. I'm just such a big fan of cheese.

Sure, sure. I didn't know, what show were you in when you were a kid? High Society. Sorry, I didn't know. No, I mean. You son of a bitch. And who were you in the last five years with? Jeremy Jordan.

What's happening? That somehow was a huge burn, but I. It was not a burn, you know that Lincoln's like. Oh, oh, oh, oh, she's obsessed. She can't even say his name without being like Jeremy Jordan. Oh, I see. She loves him so much.

She has for Jeremy Jordan t-shirts for Christmas. Are there such t-shirts? No, but I just got one on Amazon that said Jeremy. Uh-oh. So, that makes sure it's not like Brandon or some sort of, Oh, I don't think, it just says, it says Jeremy, Jeremy, Jeremy on it. And then.

I don't think that's what she wanted. What is this? That's all they had. What's his, what's his Riz? Like why is she so obsessed? Hottie, Hottie, Broadway, Hottie, Hottie, Broadway. Hottie, Hottie, Broadway. He's been like the dude for like a decade.

Yeah, where would he be? If you're a Broadway nerd, respectfully. Who is your idol? Mine? In the Broadway world? In the Broadway world, yeah. It was Gavin Creel. It was.

Who just passed a couple months ago. He was like, he was the dude. He was like, people my age that were doing theater were looking up to him and he was the guy. Did you go to the thing Kristen went to? Which one? Did the memorial in New York? No, I didn't.

I didn't. You went. It was really beautiful. Yeah, I'm really glad. And they dimmed the lights. Yeah. That's a classy theater tradition. Mama had the best week of her entire life.

She almost didn't come home. I did, yeah, I did. I did end up coming home. In my mind, I'm still there. Yeah. But I talked to them on FaceTime and both Dax and the girls were like, I did, I did end up coming home. In my mind I'm still there. Yeah. I talked to them on FaceTime and both Dax and the girls were like, you look different.

12 years younger, on those FaceTimes, I was like, oh my God, mom's 26 right now. Look at her. Your face was, yeah, was so youthful. You were with all your Broadway friends. That does something so special to you. Yeah. It's very, very sweet.

Broadway friends, that does something so special to you. Yeah. It's very, very sweet. Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, if you dare. Behind the closed doors of government offices and military compounds, there are hidden stories and buried secrets from the darkest corners of history. From covert experiments pushing the boundaries of science to operations so secretive they were barely whispered about. Each week, on redacted, declassified mysteries,

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The stories are real. The secrets are shocking. Follow redacted, declassified mysteries with me, Luke Lamanna on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. To listen ad free, join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app. They say Hollywood is where dreams are made. A seductive city where many flock to get rich, be adored and capture America's heart. But when the spotlight turns off, fame, fortune, and lives can disappear in an instant. When TV producer Roy Raden was found dead

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Murder. Follow Hollywood and Crime, The Cotton Club Murder on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of The Cotton Club Murder early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus. Hello, ladies and germs, boys and girls. The Grinch is back again to ruin your Christmas season with Tis the Grinch Holiday Podcast. After last year, he's learned a thing or two about hosting and he's ready to rant against brismas cheer and roast his celebrity guests like chestnuts on an open fire. You

can listen with the whole family as guest stars like Jon Hamm, Brittany Broski, and Danny DeVito try to persuade the mean old Grinch that there's a lot to love about the insufferable holiday season. But that's not all. Somebody stole all the children of Whoville's letters to Santa and everybody thinks the Grinch is responsible. It's a real Whoville whodunit. Can Cindy, Lou and Max help clear the Grinch's name? Grab your hot cocoa and cozy slippers to find out. Follow Tis the Grinch holiday podcast on the Wondery app

or wherever you get your podcasts. Unlock weekly Christmas mystery bonus content and listen to every episode ad free by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app, Spotify or Apple podcasts. ["Wonderful Plus"] Should we, I think we should hear, are you guys ready to play your song?

I'm also have one quick question, ergonomically. Is it easy to sing seated? Is that not a challenge? It's a little harder. It is, right? Maybe not for this one. But I will say, this is the opposite of a flex. You know this is the opposite of a flex.

I am worried about distorting on the mic. Okay. Not that I am like, because I'm so, my voice is so big. But it's because I have to get very loud to Yeah, hit that shit. read the notes. So I just want to make sure that that, you know.

Rob. Rob is prepared. Okay, all right. He's ridin' it like a running mirror. He rides it hard too. He's gonna break the knob. He rides it like a Brazilian strip. Oh yeah, you're smart.

Oh this is great, you've got on your knees. That's a compromise. It's more the, right? It's gotta be, yeah. Do you want us to do the undo thing? No, no, no, no, I don't wanna stand. No, then it just gets awkward, right? When you stand up, and then if it doesn't,

tell me if you have this, if you stand and you go like, oh I'm gonna need to stand, and you don't hit it, it's the worst. And now you've stood. Yeah, you don't absolutely soar. It's like, no, I'm gonna need to stand, and you don't hit it, it's the worst. And now you've stood. You don't absolutely soar. It's like, you're doing a lot for a lot of stuff. You needed real me.

You were standing, why didn't it work? And you've got a built-in excuse. I'm at my house, I was sitting. Can you imagine what that would have sounded like if I was standing? Yeah, it would have been perfect. That would be my preferred approach. ["Spring Day in the Garden"] Yeah, it would have been perfect's the family that we've made

Cause when we're together I have everything on my list And when we're together I have all I wished All around the Christmas tree There'll be dreams coming true But when we're together Then my favorite gift Is you I would travel miles and miles oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooo o When we're together, I'll forever feel at home And when we're together, we'll be safe and warm

Doesn't matter where we are, if you're here with me Cause when we're together, that's my favorite place to be Cause when we're together, it's a holiday every night And when we're together, then the season's bright I don't need the bells to ring I'll know when it's here Cause when we're together together I could stay forever And when we're together It's my favorite time of year

Oh, fuck! Beautiful! Crying! Do you have anything that... did you bring anything special? Oh Did you bring anything special yeah, I've actually brought a little gift If that's okay. Well, I brought two gifts one is in the fridge right now in the house Which my sister who is a huge armcherry huge huge huge Couldn't let me show up without having us make some homemade Emily burger sauce. No, amazing. Which is sugar free as well.

We've made it sugar free. Wow. Unnecessary, but that's great. Just some cake. That's added, yeah. Fantastic. Really slathered on guilt free. Yeah, why not?

Oh my god. So there's some of that in the fridge in your home. She made Emily Burger sauce. You know I want an Emily Burger right there. I've seen this photo because my sister sent it to me and said, you guys better fucking make that Emily Burger sauce. What's your sister's name?

Ally. She must be a genius. She really loves this show. She loves this show. She sounds so smart and compassionate and involved. She's the best of us, really. Aw. Okay, so you know, I wanna make it very clear,

you're my all-time queen of the bell, the ball. You're the number one singer in my heart of all time. You know that, but I do need to talk about Neon's voice for a second. I went- You have notes? No, you're like a race horse. Race horses, they can like, can it walk? I don't know, is it gonna, and then all of a sudden

it fucking takes off and it's just like, or like a car or a motor, you guys will know, with a huge cam, it sounds like it's not even gonna roll, and then you hit the gas and it's fucking out of there. There is something so, just. Powerful. And it just like, it just shoots into the air. It's really, I love it.

I don't think I heard you sing enough. Her timbre, is that what it is? Her timbre is so clear. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's so nice. And that's the unteachable part too. You can't teach timbre. No, can't teach timbre.

No, that's what they say. Can't teach timbre. Can't teach timbre. Can't teach tamber new tricks. Did you feel like after Pitch Perfect, everyone was saying that to you? Like, oh my god. No, I mean, I think Pitch Perfect, the singing in Pitch Perfect, actually,

like, there was some reason that there was, like, a performance that my mom sent me, I don't know, where they were dancing to the first movie and I was like, oh, I haven't listened to this in forever. And I was like, oh, sound that good. Oh my God. Because I think I was just sort of trying to, because they make us learn so many weird harmonies,

like, and you're playing the percussion and you're playing the guitar or whatever. So you're just trying to actually learn the notes and there's not a ton of time for you to decide your musicality for each song. So I was like, oh man, that sounds good. Oh my God, well you sound amazing. I'm having a real time realization.

Okay. I cannot believe I have not put this together before. The song that I've listened to probably the most in my life is you and Justin Timberlake singing True Colors. Oh, shut up. And I just now I'm realizing that that's you because now I know you to some extent, that I've like removed that,

as put it in its own compartment. I used to watch that video on repeat. Wait, wait, wait. Hold on, I think you knew that because we talked about the fact that I was walking by UCB, you were sitting behind the counter and I walked in and you were currently

listening to that song at work. We've talked about it, but I didn't realize it was our friend Anna Kendrick. I mean, I did realize, but this Monica did not realize it in her heart until right this second. Wait, when you say the video, are you talking about the Cannes performance?

There was a performance you guys did, I just watched it on YouTube over and over and over and over. Yeah, we were both really sick. Oh my God, were you sitting or standing? I was standing, thank God. He had diarrhea is what I remember from the story. Yeah, Justin Timberlake had her explosive diarrhea. No, but he's so sweet and we were both really, really sick,

but he is like, you know, one of the great all time like pop recording artists, you know, whatever. So we had like, did a very, very simple version of True Colors and like right before, and we just kept drilling it and drilling it and drilling it. And then like right before we were about to go on, he was just singing his part to himself and added in like 20 riffs or whatever.

And I went, are you gonna do it like that? And he was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's fine, it's fine, it's fine, it's fine. Cause I was like, no, no, no, you have, you still have access to like so much of your voice that I like do not have right now. No, it's the most beautiful sounds. But he was very, very sweetly like, no, no, no,

it's gonna be exactly how we did it. It's gonna be fine. Have you guys ever heard my version? I have to cover my face cause it'll make everyone uncomfortable. This is like a rule, Monica. Okay. And I see your two colors

and that's why I love you. I'm so lonely so don't be afraid to let it go. Two colors are beautiful like a rainbow so lonely. That was so cute. I saw the whole thing because I had a backstage view.

Exactly. I had a backstage pass to that one. I saw the whole thing. BTS. I think you got there because of Tamber Lake. Tamber Lake. We were talking about her Tamber. Oh!

I think that's how you got there. Oh my God, wow. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I really swear. You searched Tamber, I think. Wow. Best Tamber. I love that.

Oh, that was fantastic. Right before this, Gabe was mentioning the Emily Burger sauce and you said you had one more thing. Oh, I do have another gift, if that's okay. Yeah. No, there's a one gift, if that's okay. Yeah. No, there's a one gift limit here. This day has been field, field. I'll take that from the top.

I'll take that again. Great, please do. Everyone reads it back, don't one. Keep it rolling, Rob, don't cut. Am I stand, sit? Doesn't matter, it'll come out the same. Standing is the opposite of sitting. Sitting.

Yeah, I do have another gift actually for you guys. If you don't mind, it goes like this. The day has been filled with holiday cheer, but I know that it can't last. So before we run along, I wrote a little song about the king of this podcast. Oh wow. Oh, Wobby Wobbs, the reason I signed up for this podcast. Oh wow. Oh. Wobby Wob's the reason I signed up for this pod.

Sure the hosts are fine, but I'd wait in line for that audio god. Monica is chic as hell. Her fact checks make it clearer. But without the work of Wobby Wob, you couldn't even hear her. Dax is wise, the kind of guy you'd hang out with gladly. But he's nothing in comparison to that decibel daddy.

If it was Monica and Dax, I'd say no thanks, I'll pass. Just Kristen and Anna, I would have made other plans. Wobby Wob's the reason I'm here. The rest is bub kiss. Wobby Wobbs the Weasel, I'm here. The rest is bub kiss. Wobby Wobbs the reason I'm here. Feel free to cut this. Wobby Wobbs the Weasel, I'm here.

Woo! Wow. It's about goddamn time, Rob. That is the gift. I write him like a rented mule, so he deserves that. Do you wanna come to show your face? He'd rather not. No.

Absolutely not. Oh, that was awesome, I love it. That was incredible. Can I say that was the best? And I was totally going between you and Rob's face, and you'd never know something weird was happening. I mean, I'm sure if you know him well, there's micro expressions you could read,

but I was like, is he, does he, is he listening? Is he going, like, is this crazy? Can he hear? That's a plot twist. Gabe, do you have a favorite Christmas present you remember from your childhood in Michigan on Big Beaver Road, exit 69 in Rochester? The first thing in Michigan on Big Beaver Road, exit 69 in Rochester? The first thing in Michigan on Big Beaver Road,

exit 69 Rochester that comes to my mind is getting my first brick cell phone at the time that I was texting. I had a crush at the time, and so it was the kind of texting you did where you had to do the A, B, C. T9 text input. C9, she knows. A, A, B, that kind of thing. So it was a lot of texting you did where you had to do the ABC, T9 text input.

C9, she knows. AAB, that kind of thing. Yeah, yeah. So it was a lot of that, cell phone. What grade? I think it was sixth grade that I got my first phone. And you had a big old crush in sixth grade, early developer.

Crush in sixth grade. So I was saying, cutest text. Timber was coming in nicely. What's up, shouty? How are you? How are you? G2G. And I imagine then too,

you had some limited data on your hands. Oh yeah, oh for sure. There was no, yeah, it was very limited. Yeah, you gotta be real efficient with that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A lot of text to the same number showing up on the bill at the end. Jacob, do you have a favorite gift you got?

Yeah, I can recall a nice Dino GT bicycle waiting out front one Christmas morning. You son of a bitch. Yeah, red, white, and blue. Red, white, and blue. Red, white, and blue. Would it have made you so lonely? Yeah, dude, I was cruising all over the neighborhood on that thing, man.

It was great. You had a fucking Dino. You remember Dino GTs? Yeah, you're a dick. Yeah. I had a fucking Mongoose, bitch. I was gonna say kids either had dinos or mongooses No kids had mongooses and they wanted dinos cool. Yeah. Yeah, what did your old man do for a nice old insurance?

Oh, I bet he did quite well. Yeah, yeah one client. I don't know He was always on the phone with Muriel Jacobs, I don't know who the hell that was Do you have one Muriel Jacobs, I don't know who the hell that was. Shout out Muriel Jacobs. It's like Bill Gates's pseudonym. Do you have one? Maybe an Easy Bake Oven. Yeah, that's a real dream. Cause I also love a little baking moment, but I also love slightly under baked baked goods. And the Easy Bake Oven really delivers on that.

It does. It barely gets there. It's a light bulb, right, that cooks the food? Yeah, so you get warm cookie dough, which is really what I wanted in the first place. Yeah, that's right. Do you like giving gifts? I'm bad at birthdays and Christmas,

because when I know of something that I really want to get someone, I'm too excited, and I'm like, I just give it when I can't. What do you think of it? Yeah, I can't do the delayed gratification. I'm bad at birthdays and Christmas as if there's a bunch of other gift opportunities. You're just straight across the board bad at gifts.

If you're bad at birthdays and Christmas. Pretty bad, pretty bad. But every now and then there's a fucking winner and I cannot go like, well, Christmas is in two months and I'll just save it, I can't do it. It's happening now. You think of somebody, you get it and then you give it. Yeah.

Yeah, that's lovely. I feel like you're like that. And I don't want anyone to think I mean rude, not asking you, it's happening now. You think of somebody, you get it, and then you give it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's lovely. I feel like you're like that. And I don't want anyone to think I'm being rude, not asking you, but we both know. I won't remember it. You have no clue. Yeah. We have been on vacations to places that she's,

I'd like to go to Colorado once. We've been a couple times, you know, that kind of thing. Not me, man. I'd like to throw in in the mix. Please. That we got you. A chandelier. Oh. From Paris.

Now that I remember. Crack on down. We shot the season finale, the series finale of The Good Place in Greece and in Paris. And when I was in Paris, I went to the flea market there. And I was looking around, and I loved it so much and I saw this white terracotta chandelier that's kind of like, it's huge

and it's like, there's all these little like white terracotta birds all over it, but it's very, it's kind of minimalist. It's very chic, just trust me. And I said, how much is that? And he said, and I was like, okay, thanks so much. It was way too expensive. And then I left, but I came home talking about it and I was like, oh, Monica, I gotta talk to you about decor. I saw this chandelier and okay, thanks so much. It was way too expensive. And then I left, but I came home talking about it

and I was like, oh, Monica, I gotta talk to you about decor. I saw this chandelier and I loved it so much. And then 10 months go by, I mean, like a very, very long time, maybe even a year over. And Monica had the realization that she could track down someone who lived in Paris that I had known, who could go back and see what was still there. The masseuse you guys are both in love with?

Laurent, no. It was not. It was not. That's not a bit. Just sign up. There is a great masseuse in Paris that will, I mean half of it is just like hair play, but it is out of this world. Oh and there's a dinner involved

and you go to his apartment. No, we went to dinner, that's not normally on the docket. It's not one of the services he offers. But then Monica tracked down this chandelier from our beautiful friend, Tibor, and they gave it to me for my 40th birthday, and now it hangs above my bathtub. It's so beautiful.

It's so beautiful. I'm gonna. It's really special. What's your favorite gift you've ever received on Christmas? By far, and I just shout out to Laura LeBeau because we were broke as hell, but she went hard on Christmas. We had great fucking Christmas.

She would go in debt and she always gave us a good one. And I must have been five because we lived in this shit hole. And I came out and there was a plastic Indy car like the size of this table. It was probably like would be a Power Wheels now. I don't know if that was the brand back then, but it was a little car I could drive.

And I drove it until the battery's dead, then I charged it, then I drove it. And then I drove it, and the embarrassing part is I drove it way too long. Then we moved into a neighborhood, and I was still, I was driving it at like 11 sometimes. I'd get nostalgic, and I would drive it down my neighborhood street, and I would be super embarrassed, but I still would do it. Yeah, I'd get nostalgic and I would drive it down my neighborhood street

and I would be super embarrassed, but I still would do it. Yeah, I just, the steering wheel broke and I steered it with pliers for a while. Yeah, it's awesome. This wasn't the Firefox, was it? No, that was my worst present because my grandpa, Papa Bob, he bought, my brother and I, these Firefox remote control cars, we wanted them so bad,

and then my uncle and my brother played with them before Christmas for so long that they were broken, and then put them in the boxes and we unwrapped them, and they were broken, and then they were sold out of Firefoxes. And then this is my chandelier, my, what's the sled's name? You know.

Rosebud. This was my rosebudbud and Kristin found a Firefox on eBay or somewhere and got it for me for Christmas and she healed that wound. And it broke within 10 minutes of driving so I can't even blame my uncles. These are pieces of shit, these fires. Yeah.

They're like Easy-Bake Ovens essentially. Yeah, yeah. They were the Easy-Bake Oven of the RC car world for sure. Yeah. Okay, what. They were the easy-bake oven of the RC car world, for sure. On the MCI. Yeah. Okay, what other songs do we have? This one's a song that everyone's gonna know, but Gabe and I like this particular version, which is Mel Torme and Judy Garland,

which we're gonna do it with them in mind, because it's very clear during this recording that they are sauced. And there's some word mangling. There's just, it's just. Good for them. Mostly on the Judy part. Mostly on the Judy part.

So Judy was pretty gassed. She had a hard life. She really did. Did she? Yeah. Oh yeah. What was her stroke? Well, we Britney speared her.

She was the first Britney Spears. Okay. Yeah. So, yeah. So we have this little one prepared in the. Rob, cue all the crickets. Oh my god. Are there crickets in here?

So fucking many. I told you this, someone was having a very emotional moment on the couch. And the second they were having this emotional moment, the crickets started. How'd you do that? If you hit them, they'll come. You know what we need to get?

Nice. A snake. Good idea, well let's have a snake in here. We're just wandering around the podcast. Definitely not. If you guys, well what if we brought, I got an even better idea. Do you not know what Monica's number one fear in life is?

Yeah, snakes. Upper butt. Me too. Upper butt? A snake coming out of your. Toilet bowl? Yeah, they come out and they go all the way up into your, they?

Then they come out your mouth. No. No, no. Come out your mouth. Do you know, have you fact checked this? Yeah, it's a real rumor. It's a real rumor. What if Erica brought Norbert over, their lizard?

Although he, last time I heard he wasn't eating for a while and she was very nervous, yeah. He's upset about the election, he's on strike. He's on strike. Okay, so this is Garland Smashed and. This is Mel Torme. Trying to keep it together. Yeah.

["All Through the Years"] All through the years we've waited. It's a great Mel Torme., waited through spring and fall, though this one's gonna know it, yeah, to hear silver bells ringing and wintertime singing the happiest season of all. And I wish that Judy Garland would start singing right now Chestnuts roasting on an open fire Jack Frost nipping at your nose Yuletide carols being sung by a choir and folks dressed up from head to toe

Everybody knows a turkey and some mistletoe Help to make the season bright. Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow Will find it hard to sleep tonight. They know that Santa's on his way. He's loaded lots of gifts and toys up on his sleigh. And every mother's child is gonna spy to see if rainbows really know how to fly and so I'm offering this simple phrase to kids from one to ninety-two Although it's been said many times, many ways Merry Christmas to you

Should we have a go at them? Some old English? Sure! to you. Should we have a go at them, some old English? Sure. Shall we? Love and joy come to you and to all your loved ones too. And God bless you and send you a happy new year. And God send you a happy new year. Oh, mama.

Wow. We can take that on the road. You do a great meltaur man. Thank you, thank you. You guys just need three or four more songs and you got a show. Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, if you dare. ["Rainbows and the Stars"] Rainbows really know how to fly.

Yeah. So good. No nod to it at all. It just, that's what she wanted to sing. Yeah. It came out of her mouth. No one's gonna argue with it. It's Judy Garland. Wait, that didn't really happen. Well, but yes. Yeah, yeah, that's what she wanted to sing. It came out of her mouth. No one's gonna argue with it, it's Judy Garland.

Wait, that didn't really happen. Well, but yes, we just did the track. Yeah. She said, rainbows really know how to play. Wait, did she do the Gifts and Toys? Yes. Did he say that's close? He said that's close.

That is crazy, that is hilarious. Then I looked and it was like, Kristen had crossed out the right lyrics to do it. And I was like, oh, that wasn't an accident. That was close. That was hilarious. That was close. That was hilarious. She was lost.

Oh, man. That gets you out of the copyright issue, to throw rainbows in. It's great, and for those who don't know, it's titled The Christmas Song, but that is really, that's an incredible version. That's my favorite version, and I really wanted to try it with you.

And they kept it too. They were like, she said, they're like, Mike, she said rainbows, right? Yeah, just keep, okay. Well, I think that. Well, rainbows, just keep, okay. Well I think that. Well rainbows over the rainbow, of course. Yeah. Yeah, I thought like maybe the rainbows

is her being like, get it? Yeah. Oh. And I think that was live because I think Mel was playing. Yeah, there's a video online that you can see of him playing. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, because most of the, a lot of those songs from way back when, they were just taken from live performances. They weren't like doing them in the studio. They were like, you can hear the live tracks on. Oh. Yeah. Oh man, that was funny.

That was delish. Do we wanna do our culinary surprise? I just wanna say that we were talking yesterday in a fact check and I was lamenting about how bad I am at giving gifts. And then Monica said, we'll think of secret turkey so fun because you have to make it.

And then I thought, okay, that's what I'm gonna do. Ooh, great. So we'll all go outside, there's a buffet set up. What? And we'll make a plate and then we can eat open presents. Okay. Sounds good. Sounds like a buffet.

Wow. A buffet. People can pee if they need to. Wow. Good. My word of the day today, it was bah humbug. No. And I learned the full meaning.

In the 17th century, 18th century, somewhere on the cusp, bah essentially meant not, right? It was a sign of disagreement. Not, right? It was a sign of disagreement. And humbug meant a hoax or a befooling trick. So if you didn't like the merry season, you'd say not, this is a hoax. Oh, interesting.

Okay, turn up, Nini. I'll open first? Mm-hmm. I always thought it was two words. But. It is. Oh, it is. Oh, okay, okay.

It's a phrase. Now, full disclosure, I have help for Kristen's Christmas. I don't wanna act like, she has a stylist, Nicole, who has the best taste of any person in the world. Everything Nicole gets, Kristen wants. So at three years ago, I was like,

hey, Nicole, since you know what she's gonna want, could you help me? So I have a lot of help, but I still, I feel unethical about that, so I still get some stuff on my own. So if this is a miss, it's because Nicole had nothing to do with this. And look at this, is wicket theme for your?

Now that's where Carly comes in, I think, because I just did the rap job and I did not affix the ribbon. I did. Oh! Wow. I knew it would be you or her. Oh, the games you two play, I see. Also shout out to Carly for-

Let's see if I can get Dax to lie about wrapping this. And then go, gotcha! It was a total trap, I walked right into it. And then shout out Carly for putting out the buffet outside. Oh, incredible. Did you do the garlic bread too? She made the garlic bread. I made the spaghetti sauce. Incredible. Did you do the garlic bread too? She made the garlic bread.

I made the spaghetti sauce. Both are absolutely delicious. Our listeners have heard a lot about the spaghetti, so I want them to, it's good that they get to see it. Yeah. In action, it's incredible. The worst prank is in the title on this book. Oh.

Yeah, there you go. That's right. that's right. That's exactly where it goes. Panda prank with a shoe footprint like from a murder mystery. Ooh. Ooh. You're a hiker? I am a hiker, ooh. Wow. Nice, ooh, really nice.

These are sleek hiking shoes, buddy, thank you. Yeah, some collab between Panda Prank and Nike. I love those. Those are gorgeous. That's a sexy shoe. Oh, thank you. This is a hit. Oh, thank you.

One for one. One for one. Yay. I should quit, I should just return the rest of your presents, actually. I love them. Why is the box so big? If you loved them so much, you'd be putting them on.

That's what I would do with a pair of shoes I love. What's panda prank? They're like, they do one-off designs of existing brands. Is my understanding of it. Oh cool. Yeah, cause now I'm in their algorithm cause I bought one pair of shoes, so I see every single pair of shoes they designed

and they're all pretty cool. Nice. Jacob's not eating so I'm gonna give him his present. Great. I have a present? You got a present. What the heck? Also I learned at the buffet bar that you're in Wolfpack

which I can't believe I didn't know that. That's so embarrassing to me. I'm the newest member, it's totally okay. Oh. This looks delicious. Is this wine? Yes it is. Thank God. I love wine. Is this wine? Yes, it is. Thank God.

I love wine. I wasn't sure what it was. And then reach on down in the... Oh, reach on down? Reach on down, reach on down the road. Let's go. Ooh. What is this?

Do you know I love this wine bar? And I used to live next to it? Wait. I'm just guessing. Wait, no. Did you know this or no? I just guessed. No, someone told you? Who told you? Kristen does her research.

Oh, beeswax. Wow. Whoa. Santa told me. Santa? What wine bar is this? We have three world-class present-givers in this room right now.

I have to throw, yeah, this is an amazing gift. Thank you so much. I have to shout out Justine's Wine Bar in Frogtown. I love Justine's. Oh, she's the best. And I used to live out Justine's Wine Bar in Frogtown. I love Justine's! She's the best. And I used to live right next to it and it was too convenient and I had to move.

You had to move. She drove you out of the neighborhood? No, no, no, this is awesome, thank you so much. I couldn't live within five miles of Emily Burger. Yeah, that's true. I would be dead within six, seven years, I think. Okay, we're gonna thank you. It's a huge beaver.

Here we go. The biggest beaver you've ever seen. I love beavers. Oh my God. Tell everyone what happened to yours. Okay. Ooh. Somebody talk to my wife because what happened to mine was,

I don't know how it happened. I was on the phone with my airpods on, turned my head in some way. I'm dramatic. I don't know what happened. Theatrical. Yeah. I'm a theater kid. You know, you're given what you're given. And my one of them flew out and went under the fridge in a way that I spent an embarrassing amount of time trying to fish it out, but the fridge in our apartment is so stuck into the space that it's in that I can't get it out. So I have

the case and the other air pod and I can see where the air pod is and I cannot get to it. I've used magnets. That's excruciating. It's brutal. It's absolutely brutal. So this is huge. Anna, you're not gonna like this, but. Oh no. I didn't know, I didn't bring anything. I know you don't need to. You don't need to bring anything. I'm not doing your Christmas show, you're doing our Christmas show.

We were interviewing you. Mm-hmm. And I- Oh God, what did I say? Oh God. You were talking about going to your audition in your combat boots. I know what this is, ooh. And I said. I know what this is.

Yep, and it broke my heart that you wouldn't have the best boots a lady can have. Wait, how did you find out my shoe size? I asked you your shoe size. That's right, and I thought it was for, I thought, I can't believe I didn't think, well, they asked for my shoe size. Where are my shoes?

I figured we'd be wearing silly elf slippers or something. That would've made the most sense. Oh my goodness. Now, watch how nervous Kristen is because she was a part of me looking online for these. Well, I tried to be. Yeah. Oh!

And there were ones I liked where she was like, oh, absolutely not. And then I just waited till she left and then I decided. Okay. Yeah. I hope they're the absolutely not ones. They were not. They were a compromise, but I still love them.

They're perfect. Oh, they have fur. They're fur. Fur is nice. With the boots, with the fur, with the fur. Ooh, they have a platform for you, Shorty. Platform is great. Those are sweet. Who's talking, that's a platform for you, Shorty. Platform is great. Those are sweet.

Who's talking? I love a platform too, I'm here for it. I love it, thank you so much. It's got a side zipper so you don't have to fuck with the laces. Huge. Yeah, thank you. Because in, yeah, in my last episode, we were talking about my audition for my Broadway show

when I was 12, and I was wearing combat boots and ducks, asked if they were Doc Martens, and I said no, I think they were like the Payless knockoff. Because we couldn't afford them. So this is amazing! I said my girl can't ever wear the, oh, I love the, it's a great brand, Payless. It just talks for me with the thing.

Yeah. Okay, great. Wait, the wrapping paper. See, she loves hers, she's about to put hers on. The wrapping paper is green and pink on the inside. Yeah, it's a wicked thing. You really did all that. You really did all that.

Oh god, oh god, I'm gonna knock over everything. Monty, can I present you with a present? Sure. I also have to say one thing. I bought you something. It says it came. I searched the entire house today. It's not here. I reord entire house today, it's not here.

I reordered it. So wait, but in the meantime. I don't need things. You're a woman of means, you can buy your own shit. I buy my own things. Yay, oh sweet, the original mouse. Dax drew this. Wow. And I used it on my gift guide

and now it's on our sweatshirt for this year. I thought she should have the original. This was the original drawing. I love it. Thank you so much. What does it say? The world's all time most special mouse, in quotes. Sometimes I think you guys forget this is a podcast.

We didn't say those were AirPods, we didn't say these were Docs. Hey, that's why I said is this one? Jacob, we're looking for someone to turn the entire show over to, so this could be fucking perfect. You're a pro. Look, I can't look on you.

Can I say these are the best. Anna's putting on the Doc Martens. Oh man, thank you. I don't know, I think that maybe I own like one pair of Doc Martens in my early 20s and I don't know, I found them very stiff. Maybe I was a knockoff or maybe I got the wrong pair or something, but immediately these feel gross. They used to be way stiffer.

Is that right? Yes. Because I'm like, wait, I was expecting these to be like kind of a pain, but they feel amazing instantaneously. And there's a hack, you put them in the freezer overnight, you take them out when they're cold, and put them directly on, because when leather's cold, as it will sort of,

I guess, melt essentially, it will form to your foot. Shut up. Oh my god, these feel amazing. Also, if we're not doing a good job talking about the items, I guess you should just watch it on YouTube. Yeah. Ooh. That's the move.

Wobby Wob? Yeah, I want, yeah. Sorry, Wobby. Let's get you seated for this birthday boy. You got your own song, but that's not where it ends. Also, the present I got you two, I need you to open at the same time. Okay. I'm excited to see how mama handled this.

I just wanna say for this one, Kristen spent at least seven and a half hours on the phone this week and was unsuccessful. Wow. Is that a good setup? Merry Christmas. Wow! Ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha! Oh. Ooh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. your kids will love it, there's a little slide. It's the fucking buffet is the best in the biz. It's good for parents and adults. Oh, Jesus Christ. Again, it's yours. Just lock up, will you?

Thank you, thank you, this is great. I'm great. Anymore, do we? Yeah, I want you two. We have a lot more. I got presents for you two. That's for me. Yep, you got that and the big one. That and the big one.

Who wants that for money? Okay. Thank you so much. You go, baby, I'll get those. Don't worry about the armchair expert wrapping paper. Oh. Good old wrapping. Okay, you wanna go first? Ladies first. Oh, sure.

It's from Wobby Wobb, Hollis. Again, I gotta say, when I said there's three exemplary gift givers in this room, Wobby Wobb is... He is amazing. He is annoying. I'd also like to comment on the paper, because what I'm not hearing is a bunch of like, crazy crunch wrap because this paper,

there is a real, there is a hierarchy with wrapping paper and this one has a fabric type quality to it. It almost feels like, like a dress. Maybe you should wear it as a dress. Okay. But it's delicious wrapping paper, wabiwabi, real high end. That must have cost you a fortune. And is that because you're the sound guy?

Oh, I mean Amazon. Yay. Far out. No, I mean that would make sense to me. Yeah, that's what on a set it would be. Oh wow. When you get that stupid fucking shopping bag and the grocery store and it's rubber.

What? Okay, for the listener, there's a wrap present inside the wrap. It's a wrap within a wrap. It's the nesting doll. It's a skeleton inside of a Sanfie. Kind of like the hat on the hat. Is there going to be another?

Oh boy. Oh! He did it! Oh my gosh. Another box in a box. And this paper is a smell-ograph. Shut up. Ooh.

Pass it. Yeah, pass it. Ooh, stunt queen. A smell-ograph. You guys, that's what it's called. This paper is a smell-ograph. Shut up. Ooh. Pass it? Yeah, pass it. Ooh, stunt queen. A smell-ograph. You guys, that's what it's called.

Now again, if you're listening, you can't smell it, and even if you're watching, you can't smell it. That's true. On YouTube, you can smell it. There's just a button you click, it's an upgrade. Oh wow. That's a gift in itself. You've already smelled it?

Wow. Did you spray something, or is that how it goes? Wow. God, a gift in itself. You've already smelt it? Okay. Wow. Did you spray something or is it that how it goes? Wow. God, it's really nice. I'm telling you, he's got like a little workshop at his house. The high-end wrapping store. They have a lot of wrapping.

We're down to the actual gift. Is there a store or maybe? Oh, what? Your gift also didn't come yet? It's supposed to come today. Oh my God. Oh my God, it's supposed to come today. Oh my god. Oh my god, it's my dream come true. Is that a real picture?

Yeah, I spent time. Dreams. In my dreams. Oh, and it's a picture. It's a picture of me, okay, for the listener and not the viewer. There's a sweater coming. Oh, thank you. Oh my gosh, how sweet.

But this is the real gift. It's a picture of me with Mary-Kate and Ashley, and I look like I'm friends with them. Here's the sweater that's coming. It's so cute. Iconic. Unbelievable. That's great.

I love it. And I'll buy these pants, for sure. Oh, okay, this one can live like that. And that's a manifest. Cause they're gonna come on at some point. Thank you Rob, that's so sweet. Okay, now I need you guys to open. But can you open yours of this too?

Race, quick, quick, quick. The listener, it seems to be a race. And Dax is in the lead. And. Amingo Estate Estate Los Angeles, California. Ooh, these are really nice. You know about these? Whoa. What is this?

Olive oil. It's olive oil, but they were personalized. It pairs nicely with elk. Mine says wabi-sabi for wabi-wabi. Oh. Wow. And for people who don't know, Dax has been on a real kick of eating elk lately, and so in the mornings he has elk and eggs,

which makes the house smell terrible, but it's actually pretty tasty, and he gets like 160 grams of protein during breakfast. That's a lot of protein. And now I'll get a little omega in them too. And let's both say something at the same time. Three, two, one. Oh! For the listener, I almost kissed let's both say something at the same time three two one

For the listener I almost kiss Rob's lips Yeah, just not I've ever since I learned about that landing strip, I'm just having the most confusing feelings about you You can't blame at one point that you didn't have enough knickknacks behind you and Monica had more. Oh, Rodman and Isaiah Thomas, 80, 80, 90. I'm pissed at them! They were too young, but that was the team. Oh my god, that's so cool! Oh, that's great! Was that in eBay?

Nope, it was Target. Oh, cool! Oh, great! Target had that? Yep. Had those two guys together from 1989? They won back to back titles. No yeah, but Target had that.

That's wild. I know, I remember that. Yeah, a very deep cut for Target, right? Yeah. Amazing. Oh, this is great. Oh, this is, you're gonna get a big one. Oh, I got a piggy. Whoa. Oh.

Oh great, and this has Yeti wrapping paper, not to be confused with the cooling brand, an actual Yeti. Does it smell? Is it a smell-o-graph? I'm listening back, just having trouble opening the package. Here's what I'm gonna do,

I'm gonna play a game where you guys will see it first. And try to describe it to you? Guessing on your reaction, I'm gonna see if I can figure out what it is. Oh, guessing on our reaction, okay. Okay, well it is for, it is a, it is a, it is a, it is a, Oh my god. Car accident?

A piece of art, it's a piece of art. Oh. Okay, so Gabe, it seems like it might be a bad car accident, is that what it is? Oh. Is someone eating a corpse? Oh. Wow, Rob, that's beautiful.

So it's this Australian artist, Bella McGoldrick. Oh, wow. Wow. So it's this Australian artist, Bella McGoldrick. Oh, wow. It's a pencil drawing? It's beautiful. That's so cool. Oh, man. I was gonna ask, yeah. 15 of 20 I read at the bottom. Oh, I love limited edition.

Your eyes aren't that good, how'd you get that? Check my work. No, you got it, but we both know you and I are blind. That's true, but I don't know, somehow I caught it. Wow. Oh my god, that's gorgeous, Wabi Wab. Thank you. Wow.

Thoughtful son of a bitch. Three, two, one. Three, two, one, we say something. You're not going back in. What's the name of the artist, Rob? And then you two have one. Bella McGoldrick. Beautiful.

We have one more? You two have another one for me. Oh my gosh, okay. They're the white boxes. Oh, okay. Wait, I don't know what this paper. Three. Well, Monica, they don't deserve this.

Yeah. Come on. Come on. What? They make boys' stuff. I was about to find out. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Wow. They do make noise stuff, but let's make sure, I mean also obviously we can return if things don't fit, but it was imperative that everyone in this room

had something from the row based on how much we talk about it. Wow. Beautiful. So you're welcome, but if it doesn't fit obviously. Oh wow, let me see. Yeah, good. Okay, yours is a little thinner.

Yours is more of a springtime. Mine's more of a, let's hit the slopes. Yeah. Oh, thank you, Monty. That's beautiful. You're welcome. And I got a rose sweater too. It all worked out. All came out the wash.

Okay. So, we've had our pasta, we've had some desserts. It's time to land the plane hard with some more music. So, musical director, what's our next offering? Monica requested Auld Lang Syne. I did, I love Auld Lang Syne. Aww. Two, three.

Should old acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind? Should old acquaintance be forgot and days of old lang syne. For old lang syne, my kindness yet for old Langside. And here's a hand, my trusty friend, and here's a hand of thine. We'll take a cup of kindness yet, For old Lang Syne. For old Lang Syne, my dear, for auld lang syne We'll take a cup of kindness yet for auld lang syne For all the land's eyes. Yay!

I don't even like that song and I loved it. I love it. I like it with some harmonies in it. Thank you, that was very special. Oh, that was good. It was really fun to sing that for the first time two days ago. Yeah.

And, um, cause it was like, oh, we don't really know it yet, but that was already so fun. I like to picture my whole year when I hear it. Oh. Wow. The one you just had or the one you're about to have? The one I just had, it's by, it's by to the year. You were doing like the Apple photo thing. Yeah.

And what's the verdict on this year? Oh, it was a complicated year, but a good building year. Oh, building year. Wow. It was like deep. Ask me, hit me. It was like, oh. Yeah, what's the verdict on this year for you, Dad?

Oh. It was, it was good, it was good. It was a building year. Stronger for it. Well, a building year. I'm stronger for it. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. No, I had a great fucking year. I really did. It was a lovely year.

We had a lot of fun trips. Kids just get more and more and more interesting and funny and more fun to be around. Yeah, we had a great year work-wise. Yeah, another great year. It was a good year. And a kind of a tour. The big one, oh, we should get. Erica, we have a great year work-wise. Yeah, another great year. It was a good year. And a kind of return of the gym. The big one, oh we should get.

Erica and we have a closer, yeah. We're gonna bring in a closer, closing picture. Ooh. And this, a lot of people know Perfect 10 Charlie and they know he's married to Erica and they've met Perfect 10 Charlie on here and now you're gonna get to meet Erica on here. And if you listened to Synced,

Erica had made an appearance on Synced and people were like, she needs to be on every episode. She's a boss bitch. She's a tough, cool, radical, the kind of gal that Kristen falls in love with. Yeah, Erika's a very powerful presence. Assertive. She's very decisive, assertive. She's also, she can wail. She's got such a beautiful voice.

Hi, Erica. You're no stranger to some side zippies. Welcome. I think it's just D for me, right? Christmas time is here. Happiness and cheer. Oh, this is cozy. It's tight.

Cozy. Cute sweater. Thank you. Hi, Erica. Welcome to the program. We gave you an intro, but you weren't in the room. No, I'm here now. We're saying your praises.

Pull that mic a little closer to yourself. Although you got a big old powerful. Yeah, I'll instrument. You'll. Ooh. Yeah. That's right, I'll turtle it. Well Rob said he's gonna ride it.

Do you want this for when you ride it? He's gonna ride it. He's gonna what? Yeah. Anyways, in our intro, we said, you're people know Perfect 10 Charlie. Yes, yes. And now the beautiful bride.

That's right. Yes. Takes a big woman to live up to those looks and boy does she do it. I'm a pitch hitter today. With Yelta, get it? Get it? Musical theater jokes.

Love. Well earlier you said Musical theater jokes. Love it. Well earlier you said pinch hitter. I did. And so she's a pitch hitter. Oh! Yeah. Like a hitter. Pitch, I got it.

Yeah, mm-hmm. It's a really cool, theater kids are typically cool. They're generally rock in the school. That's the theme of today. That's right. They're bullies though. That's the only thing I don't like about them. They're always shoving guys in lockers.

Yes, yes, yes, yes. And then singing about it. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, I also just wanna say, for my money, this is my favorite Christmas song in the world. This is number one. You say that right before we start it?

No pressure. Oh, that's too much pressure. Okay, just broke up, I broke one of the rules. That's all right. Theater rules. But I love that you love it, and that is why it was important to get it, because Charlie Brown Christmas is very important to us. It's the one to watch.

Yeah, it's who brought you to the party. That's right. It's our first Christmas cartoon. That's right. I'm gonna tell one second story. This is, my mother encouraged me to do this. Back in the old days, I was trying to explain this to our children,

and they could not conceptualize what I was saying. I was like, girls, there was only three channels, that's it, and if you didn't see it, you missed it, and there was no way to record it. And these bastards in Detroit, you had two, four, and seven, they would counter program, so you'd have the Grinch on channel two at eight, and you would have Charlie Brown on channel four at eight,

and you had to fucking pick, and you were seven, and it was not cool, and my mother said, you should write a letter to the stations. And I did, I wrote a letter to the stations and they did not respond. Oh well. But I do think streaming might be a result of that letter. Right and now you can watch it. It's on, what is it on, Apple Plus?

Oh right now, Charlie Brown's on Apple Plus and I think everyone can watch it for free right now. I think that particular cartoon can be watched on Apple Plus for free right now. And it's the cartoon can be watched on Apple Plus for free right now. And it's the one to watch. Yeah, we watched it last night. ["Christmas Time Is Here"] Christmas time is here

Happiness and cheer Fun for all that children call their favorite time of year. Snowflakes in the air, carols everywhere, Olden times and ancient rhymes Of songs and dreams to share Sleigh bells in the air Beauty everywhere Yuletide by the fireside And joyful memories there Christmastime is here Happiness and cheer Fun for all that children call their favorite time of year. Yay! There we go! Now we're talking.

Apple Plus! Now Christmas is here! Amazing! Oh my god. Guys, that is so hard, what they just did. That is so cool. This was Kristen, she and, you guys just did this in your choir class,

so she's just coming off of hearing it with like 25 of you singing. So I just wanna thank you from the bottom of my heart because I know that's not how you wanted to do it. And Dax was like, just sing it alone. I was like, I cannot sing it alone. That will ruin the integrity of the arrangement. I must have Erica poppin' into the alto part.

That doesn't align with your values. We squished right on it. It's a good time for defying. That's right. Tell us about your choir class. You want to tell the world about your choir class. So fun. Well, we were talking a long time ago about how,

if you're an adult and you have hobbies, like you like to dance, or maybe you played baseball in high school, you could go do that again. You could join a league. You could, you know, you could take a dance class. As a dance class. Yeah, just for fun. And so we were like, you can't do that anywhere,

singing-wise. And so we're like, well, do we have to make it? Right? And Erica, who knows everything about publicity and marketing, she was like, let's beta test this. And after I looked that up, I was like, yes, let's do that. And we basically emailed, DM'd a bunch of local singers that we know, some that aren't local, some people that we know that have different jobs,

but just really, really whale. And one of the coolest things is when we first started, and now it's like probably 35 of us? Yeah. And about 25 or 28 come every week and it's like that's sort of rotating. You got a bogey too, right? You guys all have a guy no one knows, which I love.

Now you probably do. Yep, he's the best. He's the absolute best. Good for him. We don't know how he got there, but he's incredible. And he helps us set up and it's wonderful. He bakes bread. Uh-huh, uh-huh.

And the, you're not supposed to eat stuff from strangers. Well, we are eating in this choir. We're eating a lot of stuff from strangers. Everybody bakes something, we bring wine, we sit around, we harmonize together. If you don't love a pot light, look, it's not for you. One of the first times when we were at a theater, there was a security guard at the theater, and halfway through the class, he starts just riffing.

Oh! And it was the most beautiful sounds. And we were like, whoa, whoa, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What, sir, sir? Excuse me? That's a good Will Huntsman. It was, get on in here. And he was singing with us,

and we've had a lot of drop-ins of very cool people, and it's just been very soul fulfilling. It's lovely. Yeah, it's such a cool thing you guys did. It's so casual. We just socialized. It's great. I can't go to my A.A. meeting anymore, but that's okay.

I'm sure we prioritize the right thing in the house. We're done with Mondays. We're done with Mondays. We're done with Mondays. It's going back to its original day. I'm so glad you guys have that. Kristen's always so happy when she comes home from that. It's so nurturing to her, her beautiful little soul.

Mama, thank you. You put this whole thing together. Yes, thank you. You rehearsed, you swindled everyone into coming and doing this, and thank you so much for doing that. Erica, thank you for popping by. Gabe, thank you so much.

Jacob, come on now, even more excited. Anna. Gabe, thank you so much. Jacob, come on now. Even more excited. Anna. I'm off mic, but. Oh. Oh, okay. Oh! Oh!

Hi. Hi, thank you. Thank you. You're looking gross. Oh my God. You're using your mic for bad. Oh, of course I am. All right, I love you guys.

Merry Christmas, happy holidays. Merry Christmas, happy holidays. Merry Christmas, happy holidays. Love everyone here. May everyone get a dino this year. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondry app, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to every episode of Armchair Expert early and ad free right now by joining Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.