Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard - Introducing... Race to 35

Episode Date: October 9, 2022

The producers of Armchair Expert present their newest podcast venture, Race to 35. Race to 35 is co-hosted by Monica Padman and Liz Plank and focuses on Fertility. Throughout this 10 episode podcast, Monica and Liz will be going through the egg freezing process as they hit the critical age of 35. The top of each episode will check in on the two women- see how they are feeling, how their hormone shots are progressing and share their ever evolving thoughts, emotions, fears, joys, etc. The rest of each episode consists of Monica and Liz talking to people with different fertility stories and/or those who are experts in the field. We hear about fertility successes, fertility fraud, surrogacy, celebrity stories...We will hear from women who chose not to have children, hormone experts, parentage law professors and so much more. The subject of fertility usually happens behind closed doors. The goal of this podcast is to open it wide. As with all shows under the Armchair Umbrella, this show aims to remind all of us that the human struggle is universal. We hope you enjoy this race against the clock...Race to 35. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Let me get my instrument ready. Yeah, keep doing that noise. That's a good noise, right? That's a really welcoming noise. It is. Well, that's similar to our O'Reilly's commercial. Oh, yeah, you're right. Do you know the O'Reilly's theme song?

Oh, oh, oh, O'Reilly. Auto parts. You know it. We got it in Canada. You got it? Yeah, we did. They only get half the things. Somehow we started doing commercials where the announcer was clearing his throat through it.

So it would go, O'Reilly. That went away and it was really fun and I miss it. It did go away. It was a long time ago. It was B.O. before Obama. Oh, is that how we're breaking up? Yeah. The eras?

Yep. Well, who wants to do a welcome? Liz, we can welcome together. Three, two, one. Hi. Oh, I thought you were going to do a welcome, welcome, welcome. That's indicative of what this show is for the most part. We couldn't get on the same page, and we were always on the same page.

Always on the different page in the same book. That's right. Actually, we were very much on the same page. Yeah, it was weird. On the same word and the same syllable of the same book. Exactly. I'm scared to talk right now because this is y'all's show and it's time for women to be in charge of this whole thing. But I have to say I'm kind of here to pass the torch.

So if people listen to Race to 270, this was a contest that happened a year and a half ago, a show that was incredibly fun. And you had the idea, Monica. What if we continued on a new race? And so I'm just here with blessings and well wishes for an incredible new version of a race called Race to 35. So what is Race to 35, ladies? Well, I want to be really clear because I don't want anyone to think this is the type of race that Race to 270 was, which was a race between Perfect 10 Charlie and Best Friend Erin Weekly, they were competing against each other. This is so much not that. We are, in fact, actively not competing.

Supporting. We're supporting. Very much supporting. But it is a race against the clock, 100%. 35 is the big fertility number that they drop on you and say, the second after you turn 35, all your eggs disappear. They vanish. And so we needed to get these little chicks. Yeah. Little eggs. These little eggs frozen.

And also, this is a good time to clarify because on Armchair Expert, we talk about my eggs a lot. And Dax thinks that my eggs are huge. Well. Because her boobs are huge? No, but that's a great reason.ax thinks that my eggs are huge. Well. Cause her boobs are huge or? No, but that's a great reason. That is a great reason. Yeah, that didn't take a ton of reverse engineering and maybe subconsciously that's in the mix.

But this predates Monica. It's a Padman, I don't even wanna call it a curse. It's a Padman blessing. All the Padman women have inordinately large eggs. Got it. Big, big robust indomitable eggs tail is old as time yeah she comes from a long line of huge eggs yeah i got it i guess it's well known it's in the encyclopedia so although sure for monica that pairs up nicely the size of the eggs sure in the endowment or as we say the stackness, armchair expert.

But I can't speak to Nirmala's size. Never swam with her. She has nice boobs. I don't want to talk about mom's boobs on this podcast. Well, although it's really in keeping because the breasts are what

nurture the child. Right. And our boobs did get huge. Oh, really? Liz thought her boobs got huge. I mean, there's not much to begin with, but they did. Yeah, I got treated differently. I noticed. Did you?

Yeah, I really did. Come on. No, I didn't. I mean, it's like they did get bigger, but again, they're concave at their natural state. I got to a full A. That was huge. Did you find that cumbersome? No, I found it very exciting.

And then it went away. And then I went back to my quarter cup. I think it's worth introducing this relationship. Oh, 100%. So Liz Plank was a guest, if people remember, that I farted on. In fact, the only guest in our history that I tooted on accidentally. It was also B.O. B.O. before Obama.

Yeah. Yes. You didn't have a handle on your bowels then. Now, post-Obama, you're like better about your farts. Well, let's add that you weren't there and you're kind of my boss. And so I think because you weren't there, I was like a little off kilter. You went rogue. I went rogue and I was like not minding my P's and Q's and crossing my T's and dotting my I's.

But really, I blame it on just the quick movement over to put my arm around you. It was just shot. Shot out. There was zero warning. I know. Yeah. I heard it at the same time you did. Like we were on the same page.

Like, oh, where did that come from? I almost thought, well, that might be her. It was me. I think there was a squeeze, too. I think she squeezed you, and that's how it happened. It's my fault. Like an accordion. A squeeze bar. I didn't know. I didn't know what the consequences of my actions. It's not your fault. This is something

Liz thinks everything's her fault. I'm victim blaming right now. Yeah. Yeah, you are. But Liz was on the show, and she was an incredible guest. And then also, you've probably seen Liz on TV a million times out there. And on the gram. On the gram, on the ground, on the television. And she, you know, came in here. She has a master's in gender.

She's incredibly smart. Like when you farted on her, it was so embarrassing for all of us because she was like this crazy intellectual beast. We talk about this a little bit on the first episode. Hold on a second. That sounds a little classist. Do you think it would have been better if I farted on a laborer? Yeah. I mean, honestly, let's be honest.

You would have felt better if it was a laborer. Well, in that, I'd be like, bro, you understand. We're eating dicey food from 7-Eleven. We've all been there. That's what I mean. Yes. See, I think farts, I always feel very honored when someone farts in front of me because I feel like we've attained that part of our friendship,

romantic relationship, like whatever it is. It's like a level, right? I was honored. I was like, oh my god, he's that comfortable. I feel like we connected. Well, you were just so loving. You were so loving and nurturing about it. You were so forgiving. You were in a good mood.

It put you in a good mood. And I felt safe. Well, that's very sweet. But no, I come from a farting family. We just let it rip. Okay. Well, I'm glad we cleared that up. So that's the history of this.

But then you guys developed your own friendship. Yes. So we had each other's phone numbers. and I think we texted a little bit. Yeah. We tried to hang out in New York a couple times because Liz lives in New York. That's an important piece to the story. You lived in L.A. for this whole chunk of time. Yeah.

Which I actually, especially in retrospect, really commend you for it. Like that was a really big thing that we did and you did it away from your home with none of your people besides me and that's a lot thanks yeah but also now I like don't want to leave I went to sleep away camp and then it's like all my camp friends are here and I'm like I don't want to I want to go back to my real life yeah real life sucks because there was no one else too like you became my person and you were so good at being my person but yeah so we tried to hang out we tried to hang out didn't really work and then I was deciding to do this podcast and I was like okay I'm gonna freeze my eggs it's time I'd been pushing it off and as 35 was approaching I was

like oh okay I gotta do it I think maybe I'll turn this into a podcast because that's what I do. I turn hard things into work. And so then I thought, oh, but it would be so fun to do it with someone else. But that's complicated. Who is in need of this? Who wants to do it? And I don't know why you just popped in my head. And I texted you. I said, weird question. in my head and I texted you and I said, weird question. Have you thought about freezing your eggs? And you said, I literally decided to do it five days ago. And really I went from zero to 100 in one conversation. And then the fact that you text me that is so interesting. And so like the universe, right? Manifesting. Serendipitous if I may i may serendipitous when fate has a sense of humor yeah that's the tagline of the movie it is i always say if you've got a bad title if you've got to define the word in the title mind you george produced it so much love to the movie i think it's

fantastic and i love that restaurant but if you have serendipity then when fate has a sense of humor you do you have to explain it right i guess so yeah you can't just roll the dice that everyone's gonna know what serendipity but we had to explain race to 35 and race 270 is that fair is that a comparison anyway yeah we all remember serendipity yes it worked yeah oh it was called serendipity yeah see i See, I don't even have it. I remembered the definition when Faye does a sense of humor. Okay. Yeah. So then you say you're going to do it. So exciting. You come here and we dive in. Just to give everyone the cliff notes here, what we did was freeze our eggs at the exact same time. And we recorded every day of this process. We talk up top of each episode, just me and you. We chat. I think that's probably the most comical part of this whole thing. We talk about how we're feeling, how the shots went the night before. Oh, my God. A true like comedy of errors. And then

we transition into talking to either an expert in the field or someone with an interesting fertility story. And we get into lots of cool stuff. We get into some fraud. We get into some sad stories. We get into some success stories. We talked to some people that maybe you would know. You talked to a lot of people that you wouldn't know. I'll spoil it. You have incredible guests. Like every time you told me who was coming in to discuss this topic, I was so impressed with who you got to come in. I think you could enter this show and know nothing about the process and leave knowing nearly everything there is to know and then having been entertained the entire time. That is the goal. We hope this podcast is ultimately played in whatever they call those

classes in high school where they educate you on your vagina and your penis. Yes. I guess it's called sex ed. Well, actually, it's called health. Oh, yeah. Okay. So I hope this is part of a health module.

Oh, ding, ding, ding. Dingles, duck, duck, gals. You made like an incredibly dense topic, super fun, educational, and playful, and sad, and emotional, and everything you would want. Thank you. Did you use the same? I mean, I imagine this comes out in the show, but did you use the same doctor? No, we didn't. And you used a mobile clinic, right? The person was in a van? Yes, that would be great if they could do food trucks. Yeah, take your eggs. Actually, that'd be a great idea. That would be amazing.

Now, what is the knee-jerk take? When you do something like this in public, I guess if I were you guys, there would be some consideration about where it falls into feminism. Is that a stupid question? I know I've offended people by asking if they're going to have kids because there's this pressure for women to have kids. So maybe in some respect, you'd feel like you're perpetuating this pressure for women to have children. In another way, it's very empowering to just take charge of this whole thing. Did you

guys have any thoughts on that? Yeah, I think it comes with so many questions. Am I empowered or am I unlovable? I don't know. What do you think? I mean, I think the reason why I didn't do it and why I also thought it was so important to broadcast it publicly is that I saw it as this like failure almost, or this kind of cold corporate, you know, woman in the rom-com. Not that there's a rom-com about freezing your eggs yet, but it's sort of this. Well, this is that. This is our rom-com. Yeah. It's sort of this idea that I have put my career so first that I have to do this. And there's something like sterile about it or like, you know, the fact that you're freezing them, putting them in. You're not doing it like the natural way, quote unquote. And then doing it, I feel like we both felt so empowered.

And empowered almost feels like cliche now, but we were just so amazed by what our bodies could do. And I feel like it brought us closer to motherhood. Like we had this like other thing that was more important than us. And I think that was really beautiful. And you had an uptick in fertility, like this primal thing, the fertility itself was increased. And I have to imagine that there's some sense of that in your body. But I was going to say the feminist component, men don't have to think about this. Men don't have to worry, oh my God, well, I regret when I'm 50 that I didn't do this because a man can just do it at 50.

It's enormously unfair as so many things are. It's just something that would never cross our mind. Well, we get into that a little bit, that perhaps it should. Yeah. How dare you? Without giving too much away, because we've already completed this process when we're recording this. So we know how it ends. Yes.

And it is a lot of ups and downs, way more than I thought. Oh, me too. And even within the first episode, it starts one way and ends another. And it continues that way throughout the whole process. And it really taught me so much about myself and what I want. And I mean, there's been some crossover on Armchair. Like I cried over Delta during this process

and that comes up. That's all a piece of this whole project. And I think, I hope it will be enjoyable for people. It will be. You couldn't read from a dictionary and not have it be appealing. That's true. But it's funny because I was on the outside. I was literally out of town during most of this, but I was communicating with Monica every few days. And to your point that you could feel your motherhood or whatever thing was being awoken in you, we would sign on and I'd look at Monica's face and I'm like, there's something clearly, visibly happening.

There was like, and these are all really risky things to say. No, just say it. There was a softness and a pudginess to her face. There was a fertility. Like I was looking at her face going, oh, this bitch ready. Yeah, weird. Like if the wrong sperm blows in her direction,

she's pregnant. Good thing I didn't have my massage during that time. Oh my God, you would have sprayed everywhere. You would have been pregnant. The only thing that's missing is a story from Aaron Weakley punching a young girl in a karate tournament. That's about all we didn't get. It's not in here.

If you want to hear that story, go back to Race to 270 and you'll hear it. And it's not as harsh as it sounds, although it is harsh. It's not great. Yeah, it's not great. It's funny because you came here. We started and we're in and we are just all of a sudden, like you said, camp best friends. And not even best friends, sisters. And I do think it's really funny because normally when you meet someone new or you're starting a new friendship or any sort of new relationship, you're presenting your best self.

But I did not present my best self. This I know for sure. I couldn't because the hormones were too ragey. That I was just me. I was fully me as if you have known me for 30 years. And I don't know if you feel like that too. Totally. We went straight to the sweatpants phase. We went to brunch with one of our, we have a common friend and even ordering, we were like, what do you want? And our friend Kate was like okay I'll just order because you're both you're being too nice to each other and then we went from that

right to showing up at your door at 9 p.m like crying and you stabbing me with needles yeah I think we went from zero to 100 to bring it full circle you farted on each other we farted metaphorically we did metaphorically farted on each other I We farted. Metaphorically, we did. You metaphorically farted on each other. It's really nice. I mean, we went straight to talk about morning poops. Like, I don't talk about morning poops with a lot of my friends. It takes years. Well, you and I are borderline scatologists or whatever that pathology is.

Yeah, yeah. But I talk to you about poop a lot, but I don't talk to, like, a new friend about poop a lot. You keep that a little hidden. Yeah. We had to. We talked about so many bodily things. It's a public autopsy is what it is. Yeah.

It is. But I just feel very grateful that we did that because we went from zero to 100, but there's no going back. Yeah. Like we're now at 100 for life. Yeah. Which I really love. It was like friendship boot camp. Yeah, we did.

All right. Our journey begins this Wednesday, October 12th. We will have weekly episodes. It is a capsule podcast. So we have 10 episodes for you and we hope you enjoy it. Want to talk about the pay structure or anything? Yeah, nobody loses. Nobody, nobody loses.

Come on. This body isn't yours. This body isn't yours. This body isn't human.