Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard - Kristen Bell & Adam Brody

Episode Date: September 16, 2024

Kristen Bell & Adam Brody (Nobody Wants This) join the Armchair Expert to discuss what types of dogs they like most, what words take a lot of effort to say, and how they handle having dis...agreements with others. Kristen, Adam, and Dax talk about what shows they’ve never seen but should have, the importance of anticipation before a kiss, and why Adam has so many opinions about things. Adam and Kristen explain how much their spouses are involved in career decisions, how excited they are for more romantic comedies to be made, and the chemistry between them on screen.Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondery App or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch new content on YouTube or listen to Armchair Expert early and ad-free by joining Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify. Start your free trial by visiting wondery.com/links/armchair-expert-with-dax-shepard/ now.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Armchair Expert early and ad free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple podcasts. Or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert. I'm Dan Shepard and I'm joined by Lily Padman. Hi. Hi, nice sweater.
Starting point is 00:00:20 Thank you. You know, I don't, hold on. I think it got a little squashed. A little bunched up. Yeah, you gotta really mind your posture when you're wearing a garment of that quality. And I had bad posture. Sorry.
Starting point is 00:00:33 My strength training is gonna, you're really gonna be able to start seeing it, because eventually I'll be sitting like this. I hope you start, like, your position is like fucking Jack toboro while you're talking. Like silly. Yeah, I just wanna go back to that. What were you saying about the childhood?
Starting point is 00:00:48 Okay, today's episode is a fun one. Because it's Kristen Bell and Adam Brody. You know them both. I don't have to tell you, they're both actors, they're both producers, they're both so good looking. Very. They have a new show coming out September 26th on Netflix. Nobody wants this, but everyone's gonna want this.
Starting point is 00:01:09 That's the irony. Yeah, it's so ironic. It's deliciously ironic. Yeah, oh, the chemistry. So please enjoy Kristen Bell and Adam Brody. We are supported by Squarespace, the all-in-one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online.
Starting point is 00:01:26 We of course have our website built by Squarespace by WabiWab. He found it very easy and intuitive. You've heard us talk before how we actually host our own website on Squarespace and we're so happy with it. Rob did a beautiful job. He used the templates. It was easy, fast, and its functionality is off the charts. Whether you're an entrepreneur looking to set up a site for your business or you've got a passion project that's ready to reach the masses, Squarespace makes it easy for you to get your
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Starting point is 00:02:24 It's your girl Kiki and my podcast is back with a new season and let me tell you, it's too good and I'm diving into the brains of entertainment's best and brightest. Okay. Every episode I bring on a friend. I mean the likes of Amy Poehler, Kel Mitchell, Vivica Fox, the list goes on. So follow, watch and listen to baby. This is Kiki Palmer on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. He's an up-chair expert. He's an up-chair expert. He's an up-chair expert.
Starting point is 00:03:01 He's an up-chair expert. Do you read Chernow? Here, sit on Monica's face. Yes, just sit on my face. Here sit on Monica's face. Yeah just sit on my face. Rub yourself on Monica's face. What did Chernow do? I know the name but what? He did Titan, the Rockefeller biography.
Starting point is 00:03:13 He did the best Grant biography. He does biographies. In my opinion he does the very best biographies. No. Oh they're so fucking good. If you like Larson, Titan's my all-time favorite nonfiction book, the Rockefeller biography, it's insane. So you already know this, right?
Starting point is 00:03:28 Or do non-car guys know this, Adam, that VW and Audi are the same thing? I thought VW and Mercedes were the same thing. Is that not the case? Mercedes, it's its own thing, and then the VW group is Audi, Lamborghini. I figured that was Italian. Originally, and then bought by the VW group slash Audi.
Starting point is 00:03:48 Whatever VW you had, there's an Audi version. It's the same frame and it's the same base. Yeah, yeah. Well, you know what you like. I wanted electric. That was number one, and then number two was something big enough for the kids. It's still a little small in the back,
Starting point is 00:04:02 but what are you gonna do? Do you guys have animals? We got a dog. Small or big, medium? 30 pounds. You said that like you'd weighed him within the last week. She just turned a year old. There was a debate when we got her.
Starting point is 00:04:12 I wanted about a 30 pound dog, we all did. That was the goal. That was the goal. I mean, I used to have a 55 pound dog. My wife had a six pound dog. We had them together and we kind of wanted to blend them. More like we'll take the best of both worlds. And yeah, when we got her, the person there,
Starting point is 00:04:28 who didn't seem that knowledgeable of it, was like, I think she'll be 45 pounds, and I was like, I'll take it, but we kinda don't want that, and I'm gonna take a flyer, and I just think that you won't be that big, and she's not. Okay, wonderful. You're the first person I've ever heard of that was shopping for a weight in a dog.
Starting point is 00:04:44 Really? Yeah. What else do people shopping for a weight in a dog. Really? Yeah. What else do people? Not usually weight class. Well, there's other things too. It wasn't the only thing. Are you going to fight her or something?
Starting point is 00:04:52 She's got to be in a certain bracket? No, but we've got a rough little boy. She's got to be able to take a punch. Sure. And at the same time, have the confidence to not bite back. And at the same time, the thing about a bigger dog is like the mountains of crap and dog food more than anything just that. But I do think people go breed first.
Starting point is 00:05:06 They have like a breed they're looking for. Well, I had that too. I wanted a, I would have said mutt, but I was told that we say mixed breed now. Well, hold on. I know, I know. What, the mutts are mad? Mutt is canceled.
Starting point is 00:05:17 Mutt is officially canceled. Will you describe the human that told you that? Or is there a way to do it artfully and respectfully? I don't know, I would say a 60-something woman at the unofficial dog park. Dog's on leash, but everyone goes off leash situation. So it's like a little loosey goose and they're even saying it.
Starting point is 00:05:36 What's that? I know what you're thinking in your head is the type of person, but off leash doesn't seem like that. It already filtered. Whether or not that is true and that's where we should go, and I'm not saying it's not, I wouldn't have taken upon it myself. She asked me what kind of dog it was.
Starting point is 00:05:52 I wouldn't have then corrected a person. It's crazy, and it really does illuminate one of my main issues with people who are advocating for other people who did not request it. This would be the apex of that. Certainly no dog ever whispered in their owner's ear, this is very derogatory and demeaning. Fun dogs can talk now, you taught me that.
Starting point is 00:06:11 That's true, they can talk with buttons. With buttons. Oh yeah, you were telling me about that. Yeah, it's really impressive. Some of them do whole sentences. Whole sentences. Yes, and also concepts. There's a dog named Bunny online that I follow.
Starting point is 00:06:24 A lot of her work. Mixed messages. And she... Monica. She will wake up in the morning and say to her owner, night, thought, afraid. And I swear to God. I don't want to. I swear to God.
Starting point is 00:06:40 I believe it. Obviously the owner, you're understanding she's biased. She's coming to the conclusions, but they'll talk about did she have a nightmare or Bunny will say something about outside excitement and there will be like a bunch of squirrels that the owner will notice. There are some pretty shockingly high level concepts that Bunny is creating on her 70 word.
Starting point is 00:06:59 Okay, that was gonna be my follow up question. How many choices? The woman who made the panel had the whole English language at her disposal, and she did choose to do Terror Night, and what was another one? Thought. Yes! No, but obviously there's outside,
Starting point is 00:07:13 there's poop, there's pee, there's love. Love. Play. Yes, play. The dog will randomly say, I love you, and then come up and put her head in the owner's lap. Like, there's some high-concept stuff. I'm just saying, don't knock it until you've seen the evidence because I have seen the evidence.
Starting point is 00:07:28 Yeah, I have a bigger question. Can you say button again? Yeah. You hit it hard. I know. When I was in high school, I said button and kitten. Like it was a... Were you intentionally affecting it to have fun like with Bob or something?
Starting point is 00:07:41 No, it was natural. And then now I intentionally try not to draw attention to it. I can say button.? No, it was natural and then now I intentionally try not to draw attention to it. I can say button. Okay, but it takes real effort. Not real effort, it just reminds me, don't say that word that sounds stupid to everybody else. It's basically the effort.
Starting point is 00:07:55 It takes me a lot of effort to say the word sixth. I got it. There's a lot, yeah I get that. That's not an easy word. How about scythe, the thing they cut. No, I can say that except I always thought it was sith. Likely is. Adam, wait, do you know this about Dax?
Starting point is 00:08:09 Do you know about the words he perpetually mispronounces and actually can't do? Dax, there's an Asian type of food that we like. Vietnamese. Vietnamese. Vietnamese. That's good, you sound like my son. There are some that he actually cannot pronounce.
Starting point is 00:08:21 He wants to go to the arcade and he calls it the Arf Cave. Oh, a lot of the things they say should be called the thing they're mixing up. Like Arfcade sounds way more fun. Arf Cave? It's an Arf Cave. Oh yeah, absolutely. It is a cave-like thing.
Starting point is 00:08:37 It is. Environment, I get it. It's a den, Alph's cave. A bicycle is like, those are bikes, you can't really say bike, but then a motorcycle was a Mobikelo. A Mobikelo. I like that. bike, but then a motorcycle was a Mobike-olo. A Mobike-olo. I like that.
Starting point is 00:08:47 Hun, what did the girls call a guitar? Dakar. One of them said it and I never corrected them, and currently sometimes they'll go, pick up that Dakar, ugh, guitar. And now it's like my fault because I never corrected them, but it was too cute.
Starting point is 00:08:59 Oh, I know, there's a lot of things, Leighton's like, don't tell them. Yeah, you can't. Let them find out in eighth grade when they're trying to impress somebody. Yeah, the car. There's a couple whammies Lincoln used to say I'm going to the oar port to go on an apethin Yeah, a big trip was pending. Yeah First of all Adam welcome in 3d. Thank you. This is my second podcast. I've ever done in person What was the other you guys know Tyler Labine.
Starting point is 00:09:25 This was like 10 years ago and he had a podcast when they were just getting started. Head of the curve. And then you did us on Zoom. The in-persons are so much better. I love a headset. Me too. Oh God. So buttery.
Starting point is 00:09:37 Sounds so great. Yeah, when you would have to go out on the road, what was the thing that you first had to go on press tours for? Was it OC? Probably. And when they send you to cities and you'd have to do local radio. Did you have that phase? I did love line
Starting point is 00:09:49 I was in the love line at the time and then I won the OSU came out Peter Gallagher and I'm like Let's do love line and we did it and that was a nice experience. Did you say anything dicey? I didn't say anything in hindsight. I was just young and inexperienced and it was all the older guys talking Was it Corolla and yeah, I? Yeah, it was original OGs. Oh, that's great. But back to radio, they'd send us to the radio station and love, let's stay off our phone just for the duration of the interview. Looking at my talking points for the show.
Starting point is 00:10:14 Oh, that's nice. She's doing her job. Trying to remember what we're here to talk about. I'll remind you. Because it's not cars or dogs or... All that will be edited out, don't worry. Thank you. We're not ever here to talk about it.
Starting point is 00:10:27 I just wanted to memorize the log line. Okay, well I'll give you plenty of chance to do that. In a radio station it's always like, Doug and Mike in the zoo morning. And I liked it so much, and I think because of the headphones, and I remember thinking like, I think I prefer this to acting.
Starting point is 00:10:41 I like to do this. I might too. Have you ever taken a swing at a podcast? No, I don't think I'd be great at it, but I'd certainly enjoy it. Yeah, and do you have fear, because it's already a punchline in so many things. Ding, ding, ding, this is on topic for the show.
Starting point is 00:10:55 This is gonna be a nice segue. But do you have a fear that if you did it at this point, it would be embarrassing? Not embarrassing, I don't have that burning subject or expertise that I feel like the world needs, number one. Okay. And number two, I do wonder, and I know you've transitioned a lot, it's like at what point does it detract from your acting? You're sort of air of mystery. I'm very mysterious. Well in my case it killed it outright. So yeah, I think that's a legitimate fear. Exposure is part of it, I think.
Starting point is 00:11:20 Yeah, yeah. You certainly have enough opinions to start with. Yeah, oh yeah. So many. Some of them are very cranky. We were just talking outside and she's like, you absolutely can't say that ever. Oh, now we actually have to know what it is. You particularly cannot know what it is. Why? It's about Indian people?
Starting point is 00:11:37 No. Oh, Kristen. No, look, it's just we're about to go on this press tour and we're... Getting out all the noughties. They're not even noughties. They're just like, let's keep each other in check and let's have fun while we do this. But I can say, even outside of the topic of this show,
Starting point is 00:11:49 I would listen to your podcast because you have so many cranky opinions that interest me. Even when I vehemently disagree with them, which I tell you, they're fun, cranky opinions to listen to. Love, can you think of top three on set? They come out, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:04 None that I can think of. We get into like in-depth conversations about the state of the world or parenting or topics that are hot in the media. And Adam's always got a hot take that I'm like, wait, what? Explain this to me. How long have you guys known each other?
Starting point is 00:12:18 I can remember where I met you, I think, which is the Scream something premiere, or not premiere, but Scream 4, which we were both in. We went to a screening and then I was in Kevin's car, my agent, your friend, and then you rode in his, not his trunk, but he like had a little bit of a back seat. Yeah. I rode in his trunk.
Starting point is 00:12:38 Yeah, cause he had like a two seater Mercedes. And somehow you got in the back and we gave you a ride to like some sort of after party or something scream for was What year? 2010 oh wow Way back certainly before we had kids cuz some girls and house of lies But way before house of lies because I was friends with one of your exes and you don't think we ever I Absolutely remember because I went to your apartment
Starting point is 00:13:04 Oh, you weren't there when you lived in that like I had a loft. Yeah industrial loft But here's what I'm remembering. Maybe you weren't there and maybe just us three girls were there that makes I'm dying to know who the girls were Rachel right? Rachel and it would have been Nicole Chavez. Yeah. We love both very much. Yeah. Circling back, why me in particular can't hear? Uh-oh. You gotta get this not a hangup. I'll tell you after the show.
Starting point is 00:13:32 Sometimes, and this is what I enjoy about Adam so much, because also it echoes what I enjoy about Dak so much, they have controversial thought processes. I'm not gonna say opinions because they're not gonna like do anything with the opinion, but they bring up counterpoints that are very interesting that are against the grain. And I'm curious what your kink is.
Starting point is 00:13:52 Just for one second. I know what my kink is about that. Do you know what yours is? I find it really challenging. We're watching Chimp Crazy last night. We love it. Have you seen it? Almost dipped in last night.
Starting point is 00:14:03 Had to finish the Lou Pearlman doc. Oh, perfect. But you know, the woman that in last night. Had to finish the Lou Pearlman doc. Oh, perfect. But you know, the woman that they're profiling is deplorable on all accounts. You know, she's torturing these chimps and they come to take them all away, the feds, to bring them to a nicer place and she abscans with one, right?
Starting point is 00:14:17 And then she's embroiled in accusations and lawsuits from PETA and she's clearly lying and hiding. She's kind of monstrous. And it ends, and I say to the kids, we're all watching together, and I go, as terrible as that woman is, I have to say, if you guys were going to be taken,
Starting point is 00:14:33 I would lie to everybody, I would hide you, I would do anything. I can accept and believe she loved that chimp the way I love you too. And so her actions, although icky, and the results are bad, I understand the humanness that's happening, and I too would do anything to keep you and hide you. So like I just enjoy making myself and I guess it would be true empathy where it's like I force
Starting point is 00:14:54 myself to imagine I'm them because I have to kind of make sense of why they're doing what they're doing. And for me to make sense of it, I have to find the thing I believe in that's motivating them. You have a very non virtue signally empathy about you. Whereas you I have to find the thing I believe in that's motivating them. You have a very non-virtue signally empathy about you, whereas you actually have to hear the opinion you're spouting twice to really digest that, oh, you really are trying to understand this woman from a fundamental human point of view. Yes, and although things on the right scare me and things on the left scare me, what scares me much more than left, right, or politics,
Starting point is 00:15:25 or positions, are not really understanding why someone did what they did. That's the scariest thing for me, is that I would not really understand what someone's motivation was, because that would open me up to get blindsided. What's an example of that? It's just you'll hear someone did X, Y, and Z,
Starting point is 00:15:39 and my first thought is, what was the story in their head that made sense, and was ethical? Let me grant them that they are ethical or that they're not a monster or they're not evil. So then what is the story they told themselves that was defendable in their head? I have to find out what that is.
Starting point is 00:15:56 I don't accept that they're just bad or evil and out to do bad things. I need to know what it was they thought they were doing correctly. Because I think if I don't understand that, then I can't guess what anyone's gonna do. Weirdly, the world's scarier. Obviously you're an armchair psychologist,
Starting point is 00:16:11 more than maybe anything else. But do you know why you like to take kind of a? There's two things. I think there's a bit of a Larry David, Seinfeld-esque kind of crank at some customs that I find outdated or pointless. inefficiency. This is a champagne problem, so forgive me. But like, I don't want 10 freezing pieces of cutlery
Starting point is 00:16:32 on the airplane. I'll just do a knife and fork, one is fine. You know, I'm not literally cranky about it, but I have a lot of that. And then I think the other thing, I don't mean it in a self aggrandizing way, I fall really short in any activism or real changing the world is very little.
Starting point is 00:16:47 But in terms of my opinions, I do swing really left. The backlash to woke-ism, I kind of have an argument against all of it. The backlash to woke-ism, like people that are in a moral panic about cancel culture. You wanna say to those people. You're throwing the baby out with the bath water. You've lost the forest for the trees. Okay, and of course, there's excesses
Starting point is 00:17:08 There's excesses on all sides in any large movement But if that's your North star as a comedian as an artist as a political commentator Then you fucking lost the plot more good has been done then bad It's tangible to me the difference on a set now and 10 years ago, five years ago, is so different and so much more positive to me that I think for sure people have been too harshly punished.
Starting point is 00:17:34 We're figuring it out. But comedians who are like, this is my thing, this is why I'm gonna vote this way, this is my main subject, I just think. They'll all die. They'll all die and I think there are so much bigger fish to fry and I find it suspect. Okay, very fair point. Can I just propose one thing though
Starting point is 00:17:50 that we probably would agree on? Do you agree how our judicial system is designed and set up, which is it works under the premise that it would be much better to let a guilty person go than to ever incarcerate an innocent person. Hence, innocent until proven guilty. That's not my opinion. That's the crux of our judicial system.
Starting point is 00:18:12 You gotta get 12 to agree that they're guilty and one can hang the jury. And we walk in going they're innocent. And now this group has to prove their guilt. Because we agree in theory that it would be worse to put an innocent person in prison than to let a guilty person go. Yes.
Starting point is 00:18:29 I personally don't feel like I'm on either sides of those options of anti-wokeism or wokeism. But I think if you can find purchase in that belief, which is we can't put innocent people in jail, you could maybe build upon how someone might feel righteous about pushing back against people getting canceled. Because you're right, it's done a lot more good than it has done bad.
Starting point is 00:18:48 And also people have gone through the grinder that didn't deserve to. So if you already locked into this kind of belief that that's the worst outcome that innocent people get destroyed. Yeah, but I think it's cumulative. At the end of the decade, how many are we talking and what category?
Starting point is 00:19:04 It's a war. And so for me, it boils down to you have a utilitarian view of it, which I totally respect. The net of it all at the end is huge progress in betterment, right? I'm for progress. I'm happy we have these institutions and this philosophy, but I only care about it in as much as it achieves the goal. These aren't gifts from God.
Starting point is 00:19:22 They're just human constructs and whatever gets us there. So what you're saying is a very utilitarian point of view and it's very valid. And then the other one's more of a Kantian point of view, which is the ends do not justify the means. So just because you get the outcome you want doesn't mean it's justified how we got the outcome. So these are two very defendable points of view in life. There have been philosophers that have been split across the board on these two approaches. My main issue, beyond all those little micro issues
Starting point is 00:19:54 themselves is those are legitimate stances. Yours is a legitimate stance. And the Kantian view is a legitimate stance. The fact that either of you have to position yourself as evil or bad, that's my reigning issue with our society, is that to have a difference, even though both are pretty legit, you're bad or not good or impure or evil. I am okay with the difference of opinion there. We can have a talk as long as we're agreeing that global warming is real
Starting point is 00:20:25 and we're gonna do something about it and let's talk about how to make society better. Anyway, this is all. Let's not waste time going down this road. I just think when you're in a philosophy class and the room gets divided into these two things, I think that everyone should feel rooted and convicted about their opinion,
Starting point is 00:20:41 but I don't think they should feel superior. But in a philosophy class, we can debate and it can be very abstract. Exactly. It's very abstract. These are real issues, real people with real consequences. We have to acknowledge that because everyone in this room is so privileged and it's easy to from above debate. But when you're affected, it's much, much different. And I think we can forget
Starting point is 00:21:06 about that sometimes when we're doing this. Well, also, it doesn't have to be an either or. The Good Place was entirely about philosophy. And I feel like they taught us so much. And that's why moral particularism was essentially invented. Dancy's moral particularism is that you do not have to be one because the two main are utilitarian and Kantianism. and you don't have to choose either one. You can actually look through the framework of both on any particular issue and be a moral particularist, which is side on either one,
Starting point is 00:21:33 depending on the circumstances. To a person, you can disagree a lot, and I think I'll be nice and respectful. And it's just like in the aggregate, and with a big election on the line. That's so pivotal That's the either or of it. I mean, how can it not be divided right now? It's very good to take a breath and try to walk it back and at the same time So much is on the line
Starting point is 00:21:55 It is really important and it's more than just a matter of opinion and I'm not walking around morally superior again I said what is my contribution been? Very little, so believe me. We share that in common too. The two most opinionated people in the room probably have done the least amount in the room. Okay, so you went to his apartment, but he likely wasn't there. I think he wasn't there.
Starting point is 00:22:16 I'm actually positive he wasn't there. Do you remember if you saw the OC and you had a crush on Adam at any point. I've... Do it. Never seen any episode of the OC. No, did I have a crush on Adam? Of course, everybody did. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's all that matters.
Starting point is 00:22:37 First part's irrelevant. We'll cut the first part out. I have never seen an episode of the OC. I've never seen an episode of Veronica Mars. Oh, that's a tragedy. That one hurt. That one hurt you. That hurt?
Starting point is 00:22:48 Yeah, a little bit. That one is amoral, actually. She's fine, she's a push, but having not watched Veronica Morris is kind of amoral. Is problem. I was reticent to admit that because I had so many friends on it. I was really close with Rachel, I still am.
Starting point is 00:23:02 Nicole is one of my closest. Can I defend you? Yeah, you were in your 20s. You weren't watching a ton of TV. You were doing life So were you were you watching a bunch of shit in your 20s? I certainly wasn't wasn't a watching a bunch of high school shows. I was going to the Sunset Five And you like the Sopranos I hope oh I've never seen an episode of the Sopranos, but it's a goal. I'm not proud of that. That's not a stance.
Starting point is 00:23:27 That's an oversight. That's a missed opportunity. Okay, so. I've never seen the OC, but I adored Adam. Of course. Of course. Everybody did, everybody does, and I continue to. I hadn't seen it either. My first time seeing Adam on screen was,
Starting point is 00:23:42 thank you for smoking. Oh my God. And of course I knew of you, very famous and you were on billboards all over the city I lived in. And I was like, that guy that I know is on a TV show is quite good. He's really good.
Starting point is 00:23:52 You were exemplary in that movie. I appreciate it, thank you. It's one of the performances of that era for me that has held up. Most haven't, you know, most I can't really stomach. But that one I think still wears well. Adam, I just watched, because we did a 20 year anniversary for Without a Paddle and I watched with the kids and I was
Starting point is 00:24:09 Sitting next to them and I realized many times. Oh my god loosen your muscles I was just like I was so tight. I'm like oh here's that scene where I do that thing and I'm so bad at it. Yeah, I know the feeling. Okay, so then the first time you would have met. Can I make a critique about myself in the show we just did? Because I just saw the episodes. It's small. But in real life with my wife, we're cuddly. It's a natural and easy way to build connection when you have a romantic partner on screen. Anyways, my hand is glued to your shoulder,
Starting point is 00:24:35 almost gets like a tick. Watching this episode, I'm like, put your hand down a little bit. Because it was too much. Every time you're within arm's length of me, the hand goes on the shoulder. And while it's mostly good and I think effective, for me, I would just dial it back. What percentage?
Starting point is 00:24:49 20% less? 30. Wow, that's harsh to yourself. I bet you never noticed once, here Adam's got his hand on my shoulder again. No. Right? Not one time.
Starting point is 00:24:59 No. And if anything in the show is the absolute home run of the show, it's the connection of you two. So I don't know about you, but seeking the thing that works best about the show is the absolute home run of the show. It's the connection of you two. So I don't know about you, but seeking the thing that works best about the show is a weird position. Just dialing it in, just dialing it in. That's all it is.
Starting point is 00:25:12 Is it because it looked too lovey-dovey or because it looked false? Neither, it just almost seemed like a tick, like an acting crutch. Ah. Like a cigarette. Which I guess would be false. Didn't look too lovey-dovey, didn't look unnatural. You know, an actor, hands in the pockets too much or something.
Starting point is 00:25:28 I'm just like, this is my now comfortable resting state. It's becoming a crutch. It could be a drinking game for the... It is definitely a drinking game. That would be fun. There could be some subtext there though that would actually be really sweet, which is maybe you're like stabilizing yourself, which would show a lot of confidence in you. Like I'm just gonna lock into you, you seem very convicted about it. You're grounded, let me. Let me form myself to you basically.
Starting point is 00:25:54 I never noticed the hands on the shoulder, but I'll tell you what a cool drinking game could be. So Adam did this thing in the second episode that when we kiss, he always goes for the face to truly almost anatomically stabilize the head. But it doesn't come across false at all. It comes across so romantic and everybody noticed it. The first time we did that scene out on the street,
Starting point is 00:26:18 the whole video village was like, oh my goodness. And it wasn't because two people, well, I mean, it was because two people were kissing that you were like, oh, get together, but it was also because he just does this kind of delicate hand on the face thing, and I went back into Video Village and I'm like, make sure every time we do a kissing scene he's got his hands on my face.
Starting point is 00:26:34 And he did, and he did it naturally, and you can definitely do a drinking game because it's great. Hands on the face kiss. Wow. Beautiful. No, the hands on the face I like, no complaints there. It's wonderful. Were your hands on the face when, let's rewind. No, the hands on the face I like, no complaints there. It's wonderful. Were you hands on the face when, let's rewind to you, maybe met at Scream, maybe not, but you were definitely on House of Lies.
Starting point is 00:26:50 We definitely met on Scream. Not on the set, but when I was in the trunk. At a Scream screening. A Scream screening. Oh yeah, gosh, I have such a terrible memory, because then you did House of Lies. You did Some Girls First, I believe. We've worked together so many times.
Starting point is 00:27:03 Some Girls, the Neil LaBeute? Yeah, it was a play that we did a movie of. Yeah. So I hung out at his apartment when he wasn't there. I was friends with his ex-girlfriend. I'm so sorry, you are in a Neil LaBeute movie? Yeah. Hi.
Starting point is 00:27:14 Well, he- Hey, what's going on? We're sitting here. To be fair, Kristen, I think you just remember that for the first time. Touche, Monica. It was not directed by him. Right, but as script. A play called Some Girls about a guy
Starting point is 00:27:29 who revisits five of his previous love interests. We just talked about this on the show. Somehow, right? Pretty sure. An actor was in it that we interviewed. They were in some Neil Abue thing, and then I think I was, yeah. Paul Rudd was in it?
Starting point is 00:27:42 Yeah, well I think he did the play, I'm saying. No, Paul Rudd did the play of Reasons to Be Pretty, which is another Neil of you. Oh, and then he was in the movie of, I forget, but like, Richard Moll. Yeah, that's Reasons to Be Pretty. Or was it Fat Pig? Not Fat Pig.
Starting point is 00:27:56 Not our words. Yeah. I'm often like, not Fat Pig. Well, Reasons to Be Pretty was one of my favorites, for sure. You can fact check it, but I think that's what he was in. Some girls is slightly lesser known, but it was a very fun little indie. I'm starting to get back on this, the Polaroid, but she keeps making him get more like racial vibes, keeps making him get more plastic surgery.
Starting point is 00:28:15 That's really good. That's Reasons to be Pretty. I love it. Yeah, yeah. I saw it on Broadway. It was wonderful. Okay, so back to House of Lies. Or did you kiss in the Neil LaBeouf thing?
Starting point is 00:28:24 I kind of tried to like assault you a little bit. I think it's like I'm trying to kiss you and you don't want me. We kind of wrestle. Oh. And, spoilers, the character is on a tour on the eve of his wedding. Five ex-girlfriends. He's a writer.
Starting point is 00:28:36 He kind of wrote a book that was semi-fictional, but also not at all about them. They're all a little sore about it. And he wants to meet them all and just see what went wrong and what he did, even though he takes no accountability. And in the end, he sees Kristen's character, she's the last one, and he decides he really likes her and wants to be with her and I think tries to kiss her
Starting point is 00:28:53 and apologize and she won't have it and they kind of wrestle. And then a wire comes out, turns out he's been wired and he's been recording everyone. I gotta see this movie, House of Lies. And then she leaves and then, you know. I don't remember any of this. Then House of Lies. So then House of Lies. And you guys hook up in House of Lies. And then she leaves and then he, you know. I don't remember any of this. Then House of Lies. So then House of Lies.
Starting point is 00:29:06 And you guys hook up in House of Lies as well. That I do remember. And how did you put it so delicately? Well, you were like 12 months pregnant. 12 months pregnant. Eight and a half months pregnant. You know, it's us together, your child between us. Uh-huh, uh-huh.
Starting point is 00:29:19 And the lots of humping. You called it something very special. I did what? You called it our threesome. Oh, okay, okay, okay. I asked that only to called it our threesome. Oh, okay. Yeah. I asked that only to ask, do you remember if he grabbed your face in that? Cause when I'm wondering is,
Starting point is 00:29:31 is it muscle memory or is it new to each character? Was there face grabbing? I don't. Your face was huge too. I want to say there wasn't. It wasn't. Go ahead. I don't think there was for two reasons.
Starting point is 00:29:40 Number one, it was a very different relationship. The concept of that show was like these high-level, high net worth individuals. I was the heir to a dildo factory. Yeah. Even though I was like a sweet-ish guy. That's another through line for us, which we'll get to in a second. It's dildos. It's our second time at a dildo shop together. Which is a strange thing for two actors to say. I don't think there was any face and hand interaction. It wasn't that sweet. It wasn't romantic. Also, I'm sure you remember I was face and hand interaction. It wasn't that sweet. It wasn't romantic. Also, I'm sure you remember I was a very big girl.
Starting point is 00:30:08 The reach was just too long. Were you able to get your arms all? I have long arms, I have long arms. I don't know what stage you were at pregnancy-wise, but you seem small. I shouldn't say I appreciate that because I also don't care how much weight I gained during pregnancy,
Starting point is 00:30:20 but I think I was very different shape. Let's just say this, I think we can say. 100th percentile for gaining weight. Yeah, exactly, I was gonna say like 90th percentile. Really? Yeah, yeah. So you gained 40. I gained 47 pounds both pregnancies, and just as a side note,
Starting point is 00:30:31 I ate totally differently during the pregnancy, so it was very clear that that's what my body wanted to have on it, and there was one point during House of Lies. That's virtually 50% of your body weight you gained. Yeah. Where they shrunk my face digitally, but it was before they actually had good CG to do that.
Starting point is 00:30:46 And there are a couple scenes where I look like, when someone draws a picture of an alien and their forehead's really big and their cheeks go really, really in. They're shaped like a light bulb. Yes, and that's how I was shaped in a few scenes. Not only were you shaped like that, your face was changing pretty dramatically frame to frame.
Starting point is 00:31:00 So a lot was happening. A lot was happening. When they were fixing that. But we got through it it and it was fun. It was lovely to have you and we shot at that very strange enormous dildo factory and we were shooting at a time when it was in service and we would walk through these huge rooms where all of these sort of older women, hair nets, gloves, painting veins onto these enormous sticks, gluing pub hair on, and we were like, oh, okay. Very scientific.
Starting point is 00:31:27 Yeah. Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, if you dare. Being a part of a royal family might seem enticing, but more often than not, it comes at the expense of everything, like your freedom, your privacy, and sometimes even your head. Even the Royals is a podcast from Wondery that pulls back the curtain on royal families, past and present, from all over the world to show you the darker side of
Starting point is 00:31:56 what it means to be royalty. Like the true stories behind the six wives of Henry VIII, whose lives were so much more than just divorced, beheaded, died, divorced, beheaded, survived. Or Esther of Burundi, a princess who fled her home country to become France's first black supermodel. There's also Queen Christina of Sweden, an icon who traded in dresses for pants,
Starting point is 00:32:18 had an affair with her lady-in-waiting, and eventually gave up her crown because she refused to get married. Throw in her involvement in a murder and an attempt to become queen of Poland, and you have one of the most unforgettable legacies in royal history. Follow even the royals on the Wondery app,
Starting point is 00:32:32 or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge even the royals ad free right now on Wondery Plus. What's up guys, it's your girl Kiki, and my podcast is back with a new season, and let me tell you, it's too good, and I'm diving into the brains of entertainment's best and brightest. Okay.
Starting point is 00:32:47 Every episode I bring on a friend and have a real conversation. And I don't mean just friends. I mean the likes of Amy Poehler, Kel Mitchell, Vivica Fox, the list goes on. So follow, watch, and listen to baby. This is Kiki Palmer on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. We've all been there turning to the internet to self-diagnose our inexplicable pains, debilitating body aches, sudden fevers, and strange rashes. Though our minds tend to spiral to worst-case scenarios, it's usually nothing, but for an unlucky few, these unsuspecting symptoms
Starting point is 00:33:21 can start the clock ticking on a terrifying medical mystery. Like the unexplainable death of a retired firefighter, whose body was found at home by his son, except it looked like he had been cremated. Or the time when an entire town started jumping from buildings and seeing tigers on their ceilings. Hey listeners, it's Mr. Bollin here, and I'm here to tell you about my podcast. It's called Mr. Bollin's Medical Mysteries. Each terrifying true story will be sure to keep you up at night. Follow Mr. Bollin's Medical Mysteries
Starting point is 00:33:50 wherever you get your podcasts. Prime members can listen early and ad free on Amazon Music. ["The Bollin's Medical Mysteries Theme"] Do you think those women got off work hornier or never horny again? I think one of the two. The latter is gonna be the answer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You really saw how pun intended the sausages were made.
Starting point is 00:34:18 Yeah. Right. When you're painting on veins, the penis is a very ugly thing. Grotesque, especially when it's in gorge. Both ways. Yeah, well one's pathetic and one's repugnant. Having worked with Adam twice in a setting
Starting point is 00:34:34 where there are a lot of dildos around, I can say with utter confidence, he cannot keep his hands off him. Oh yeah, yeah. He was so grabby at the original one. I remember you were like doing a scene where you were like, And this one.
Starting point is 00:34:49 And in this one too. You're talking about the original one I was with? Yes, you did both. You recycled your dick spin. Wow. Yes, and then in this one when we shot at the sex store, you had your hands all over everything. You were pointing at stuff.
Starting point is 00:34:59 When the cameras were off, we were like, what is that? We gotta figure this out. We both felt so out of touch, at least I did. I was not, I'm quite, I don't know. You knew exactly what everything was. Okay, let's talk about how this show came to be because you were in it first, Kristen, and you were of course a part of who gets to be the rabbi.
Starting point is 00:35:21 And let's talk about the premise of Nobody Wants This. So us being from Michigan and living in close proximity to Bloomfield and West Bloomfield and Bloomfield Hills. I grew up in an entirely Jewish neighborhood. I was one of two Gentiles in the area. You were the Shiksa. Yeah, so I wanted to be Jewish all growing up because that was the culture I was surrounded by.
Starting point is 00:35:41 Every single one of my friends, I learned to speak a little bit of Hebrew. Like I loved it. You went to a lot of bar mitzvahs. Tons, all of them. It's so funny because, ironically, I went to only my bar mitzvah and I knew two other Jewish kids.
Starting point is 00:35:54 But your parents are, ironically, Jewish people from Michigan. Yes. And were they from one of those areas I just mentioned? I think they were from the suburbs of Detroit. My dad went to Mumford. I only know that because Beverly Hills Cop, you know, so it was relevant to me.
Starting point is 00:36:08 And mom? I don't know why she went to high school. You're a sexist, okay. You know where your dad went with me. Do women go to school? Yeah. But we were very familiar with this term shiksa, which is a blonde, gentile goddess
Starting point is 00:36:22 who wooed the Jewish boy away from the tribe. Yeah, is that a fair? Yeah. Such a great word, Shixa. It's great. And so the original title really tells you exactly what this show is about. But lo and behold, and to our surprise,
Starting point is 00:36:35 nobody knows the word Shixa. Yes, apparently in the focus groups, not enough people, if any people, knew the word Shixa, which actually shocked me because one of my favorite Broadway shows is the last five years and there's a song called Shiksa Goddess where he's being tempted by this woman. I thought that it was a word everyone knew. They said, nope, nobody knows it. And my thing was like, so what, does that have to be a deal killer? And apparently yes.
Starting point is 00:37:01 I have learned the hard way twice. That is real. It's like you sandbag yourself so much right out of the gates. I'm happy where we ended up, by the way. I will say, and it's only grown on me. I feel good about the title. I'm not even saying they were wrong, ultimately. But for a while, I was mourning the death of that title.
Starting point is 00:37:16 But you were being brought many options, love, to who should be the rabbi. In the beginning, yes, they were like, we're gonna find the perfect, and we had a lot of reads, we had a lot of discussions, and from the second I opened it, and read the scenes between these two people, I was like, okay, well this is Brody.
Starting point is 00:37:35 And then I finished it knowing that it was him, and then I thought, okay, my only hurdle in doing this show is going to be to convince Adam to do a romantic lead, which he is not Keen on usually and never has been and then I made that my mission. It's not that I didn't want to it's kind of my happy Place it's just that it actually doesn't come my way very often and if it does it's not good being honest Yes, they don't even make them that much well That's fair in the height of making them you weren't offered a bunch of them
Starting point is 00:38:03 I guess in the height of making them, you weren't offered a bunch of them. I guess in the height of making them, I would say is that OC days? Yeah, or just thereafter. Just thereafter, I don't remember anything. And just before, I was unavailable for almost everything because of the show. So I only turned down one of note that I'll... And that's it. The notebook? The notebook.
Starting point is 00:38:20 Only one of notebook. I only turned down one that turned into B anything. Well, hold on, Matt Damon admitted he had been offered Avatar and missed out on 10% of clothes. The franchise. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's so fun for everyone to know. Which one, you can't.
Starting point is 00:38:35 Cause you don't wanna disrespect the person who did it. I don't wanna disrespect it. I still am glad I didn't. That's not my story. There were repetitive things that wasn't my path. So, romantic comedy, so yeah. So, I read the script, I immediately knew it was Adam, and I said to the whole room, I was like, this is Adam Brody, take your time.
Starting point is 00:38:52 And can I add, I wanna take a tiny bit of credit, which is you already had that decision, but if you live with Kristin, Kristin only talks on the phone on speakerphone, because you're doing 11 other things, right? So I know every single machination of this development of this show, and I'm overhearing them pitch different people,
Starting point is 00:39:13 and I don't know who, whether it's the network, the studio, or the creators, would like in the list. And I'm in the bedroom, she's in the bathroom getting ready, and I'm hearing all this, hearing all this, and at some point I scream like, clearly it's gotta be Brody. Yeah, for a variety of reasons. A, because it's very exotic when you haven't really done
Starting point is 00:39:31 that role a ton before. B, I know how talented you are, and particularly I feel like I know your style very well from knowing you a little bit personally and also knowing your work. You are an actor who can look, like, dopely and lovingly into someone's eyes for an extended period of time. As long as he's got his hand on their shoulder.
Starting point is 00:39:52 Correct. As long as he's connected physically in some way. And I am also one of those actors. And there are actors that can do it, and there are actors that cannot. And I was like, this show needs that La La Land thing where you just actually pause the whole storyline and let these characters look at each other,
Starting point is 00:40:09 but make sure they're both keeping the ball in the air of will they, won't they, chemistry, you know, attraction, all that stuff. And I was like, I know Adam can do this, I know I can do it, just put us together, please. And then it was just a matter of convincing Adam to do it. Well, and them to offer it to me, I assume. Yeah, but I feel like that was easier than convincing you to do it. Well and them to offer it to me I assume. Yeah but I feel like that was easier
Starting point is 00:40:27 than convincing you to do it. It wasn't that hard. Well you really played me like a fiddle then. It wasn't that hard. You didn't have to convince, there was very little outreach, just a couple surgical words here and there. Some back sharing.
Starting point is 00:40:38 Yeah, yeah. I got a voice text from both of you. Oh I sent you one too. You guys did it together. Oh, oh, oh. It was over you guys were watching fleshman is in trouble It was very lovely and it was very sweet and I couldn't help but think there was larger things But did we know about you did I already knew about
Starting point is 00:40:57 Let me ask you you haven't worked for a minute by choice and this came your way what brought you out of retirement by choice and this came your way. What brought you out of retirement? What brought you out of retirement? Ha ha ha. A desire to be creative and leave the house a little more because I have spent the last couple years being like a full-time mom and though I've enjoyed that, I feel like I've gotten a good foundation here
Starting point is 00:41:15 and I felt like I was losing myself a little bit in it. Can I add an asterisk? Please. Doing nothing for two years, producing a huge hit show on Nickelodeon, Tiny Chef, getting a musical up and running in LA, producing four other shows, being the ambassador and representative of seven companies.
Starting point is 00:41:34 So yeah, doing nothing for two years, just asking. Sure, so okay. I was gonna say the same, I don't know the resume. And I'm struggling myself, because there's so much shit. Performing, I guess. I was eager to perform again. And when I stopped performing, I guess, a couple years ago, I was so tired of it.
Starting point is 00:41:51 I was, like, tired of the hair and makeup. I was tired of the forward-facing. I was, like, I just want to be creative behind the scenes. And then I realized, like, wait, I want to do it again. I want to feel that kind of electricity again of chance and risk. And I had a couple options. But when I read this script, I just thought I'd never read anything else like it. of chance and risk and I had a couple options,
Starting point is 00:42:06 but when I read this script, I just thought I had never read anything else like it and I loved the idea of seeing people who shouldn't be together for what seemed like very real reasons, but if you can make the chemistry strong enough, that's so appealing to watch. I just thought the engine was great and I thought if I could get Adam to do it, that would be even better. I don't always know
Starting point is 00:42:29 how to explain why I choose what I choose. I might be better situated as an observer on the outside. So I would say on this spectrum, the three of us are perfectly on this spectrum, right? Kristen's on the far left, you're on the far right, Adam, and I'm somewhere in the middle, which is, Adam, you are really thinking about where you wanna go a lot. You've even admitted to me, you've been almost arrested by the anxiety of what is the right thing to do next, when to do it.
Starting point is 00:42:58 I would rebut that a little bit. Carry on. Go tell me. There was a moment during and post-OC where I thought my next move is just that this is my chance and I wanna break away and establish myself on my own independently of the show. And like, this is the moment to do that.
Starting point is 00:43:12 And I gotta do something that really speaks to me because if it doesn't, and then it doesn't work, and then I've lost my shot and it's something I didn't even believe in and God damn it. But I quickly disabuse myself of that notion. More mid-30s I started having kids and I wanna work and I'm not working enough. But you weren't working enough
Starting point is 00:43:30 because you were really conscious about what thing you did. Yeah, yeah. At least when we were chatting between takes on chips. Yes, there's been opportunities. I could be more employed, but eventually I just said, let's go to work. I'll take the best thing around. And that was really fun and it was really fulfilling.
Starting point is 00:43:46 And lo and behold, career stuff happens nicely anyways. And now I really don't, I don't even believe you can have this vision of I'm seeing around corners, I'm thinking three steps ahead. I don't care, I feel like I'm old enough now. I have a resume that's long enough. I'd like to go to work. I'm looking for good writing exclusively,
Starting point is 00:44:05 but even then if it's not good writing, but there's something else that's fun about it, let's go do that. And I don't feel precious. Opinionated, yes. And I relate to you greatly on that. And I don't know what's driving that. For me, it's a lot of fear.
Starting point is 00:44:19 I'm very afraid that they're gonna tell me the ride's over. A lot of my experience here. And Kristen has never had that fear. She had to leave college because she got a Broadway play. And jobs came to her very steadily and quickly. And Kristen's very much, whatever lands in front of her that piques her interest in that hour, she'll end up doing. If you look at her career, it's more like,
Starting point is 00:44:42 who called her on that given day? It's all over the place. But the cosmic comedy of it is somehow these dramatically different approaches. You two are in the same movie with the same level of importance. We've been in three things together. Yes. I always say you look at our own personal life. I'm a fucking drug addict, maniac, motorcyclist.
Starting point is 00:45:01 She's a Catholic school girl, did everything right. We're in the same household with the same two children. Like I think it's fascinating how many roads end up leading to the same place. And so for Kristen, if I was saying on the outside, what I think is like, however it happened, this thing came across her desk and she's like, oh, this seems really fun.
Starting point is 00:45:18 And I'll add a personal thing, which is it was a cool character. Yeah. Cool girl. Cool girl. Cool girl. And you haven't played a lot of cool girls. Uh-uh. So you were like, thing, which is it was a cool character. Yeah. Cool girl. Cool girl. Cool girl. And you haven't played a lot of cool girls. So you were like, oh, this is interesting. I'm getting offered the cool girl.
Starting point is 00:45:31 How'd that go? I did my best. I think you're very cool. You are a cool girl. You execute like a motherfucker. But I do think that was in the stew. How are we qualifying cool? I guess finger on the pulse, popular. I've played a lot of people that have been
Starting point is 00:45:49 sort of against the grain or had like a sassy or abrasive nature to them, which I love, but definitely weren't the main popular archetype. That's like not the vibe I give off. It is the vibe you give off, but I almost feel like, connected to what you were just saying earlier, you picked characters that were unlike your cute face. Maybe, but honestly, this is one of those questions
Starting point is 00:46:13 where people are like, how have you picked your characters? I'm like, I picked what was offered to me. I auditioned for everything, and then a lot of the feedback I got in the beginning was always like, well, you're not homely enough to play like the best friend, and you're not homely enough to play the best friend and you're not pretty enough to play the cool girls, there's just not a place for you.
Starting point is 00:46:28 And I was in this in-between place forever. I think the thing that you might, as a person, identify as cool is a self-conviction about who you are and an ability to not people please or bend yourself to be like the others around you. I do not possess that. You've grown into it. Yeah, but I think what you saw in this character,
Starting point is 00:46:52 I would just say that's the specific ingredient in cool that Kristin would identify. Very self-assured. And not too concerned whether the seven other people in the room agree with that take or not. No, you walk into a room a lot in the show, like kick open the door. Yeah, yeah, that's a great way to say it.
Starting point is 00:47:10 You walk in with a lot of confidence. And you're not there to make friends, you're there to be yourself. And maybe you'll make friends along the way. So I think that was probably appealing. And that was appealing for sure. And she was like young and sexy and that was all in the stew as well.
Starting point is 00:47:23 Yeah, now sidebar back to more personal stuff. So I just said the dynamic in our household, right? Like she's on speakerphone, I'm hearing all this stuff, I'm hearing every aspect of the musical she's producing, and I'm opinionated, and I'm like, what's the right amount for me to inject myself into the situation I wasn't invited into? How much of that's happening with you and Leighton?
Starting point is 00:47:43 A lot, everything is run through each other. We are each other's managers and we also have the same two agents. Oh, you do? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's interesting. So it's like, you know, I'll get a call. You did before you were together?
Starting point is 00:47:55 This happened after and it was a gamble. Kevin made a strong pitch as to why and we both at first were like, I don't know. And he's like, no, think about it. If I fuck this up, I lose two clients. So like, I really like have to, you know. I'm like, you've been my agent for 20 years, I can vouch for him.
Starting point is 00:48:12 It was five years ago and things are going good. But anyways, so we are in each other's shit in that way. And we even did a movie together a couple years ago. Did you like that? I did, it had its own host of challenges, but acting together, we've acted together a lot and continue to and that's great. And you have kids together, so now when you go to work,
Starting point is 00:48:29 which would normally be quote work, is now like escape time. Chris and I have to shoot something in a week or two together. And I'm like, we will have two 12 hour days with no one coming up to us to solve a fight. That's almost like a vacation. 100%, it's all inclusive, there's no privacy and it's fun.
Starting point is 00:48:44 And what is like? Likely to point out and what are you likely to point out because I think our thing is very specific. She's Charmingly aloof to the business. She will literally not know Seth Rogen's name, right? You know what I mean? That's kind of great. It's fucking great because it doesn't diminish her art That's not where she's focusing. So she has that outsider quality and she can come in, but she's such an artist. She's a poet.
Starting point is 00:49:11 She has a depth and a read on material that is always illuminating and has a great radar. And so she can still get at the heart of something, a script, no problem. But it's for me to look at the cover letter and go, you're doing this or not. Before we even have read it, I'm like, oh, these names, these are good names, you probably wanna be involved.
Starting point is 00:49:29 I'm like, I haven't heard of these names, sound sketchy. Give it a read. I'm the biz guy, but she knows from a intelligent, intuitive way what's true and what's lyrical and what's bullshit. That's probably our exact dynamic. That's similar. I'm mostly negative, probably.
Starting point is 00:49:43 Yeah, and I remind you. Most things are a pass. But also, we have one ride on this earth, and if something is short and your friends are in it, who fucking cares? Oh, you wouldn't even mention friends if your friends are in it, sure. Because I'm reminding Dax all the time,
Starting point is 00:49:58 this is not gonna take up a ton of your time, and I guarantee you, when you come home from this, you're gonna be like, I'm so glad I spent the day with Vincent. That's what she's great at. I talk her out of stuff, she talks me into stuff, but it's a good balance. There is no correlation to me between the quality of project and my enjoyment making it.
Starting point is 00:50:14 It's a crap shoot that way, the personality's involved, and so just because it's good doesn't mean it's gonna be a good time, and just because it's bad doesn't mean it's gonna be a bad time. You're right, it's total luck and chance and who knows. So that kind of sets up this next question I have, which is I have been watching Kristen go away, do projects and then watching the buzz that surrounds it for 17 years.
Starting point is 00:50:37 And I would say the only thing she's done prior to this show that had the same sense and feeling was Frozen. Wow. Where it's like people are seeing it, they're getting very excited. They're freaking out. They're talking about sequels
Starting point is 00:50:54 and you're sitting there in this weird little bubble where you've just been on the inside of it and then when you're seeing how it's received. So thus far, every single person who's seen Nobody Wants This is calling effusively telling Kristen like, oh my God, this is the greatest thing you've done and this is incredible.
Starting point is 00:51:13 Has that been coming your way too, Adam? Yeah, but not that many. I think probably you guys know more people that have seen it by virtue of being a producer, publicists and agents and the materials that have been coming out as well with it everyone's really into. So I don't know that many people that have seen it. Since we started filming,
Starting point is 00:51:28 I have been hearing great things filtered back from the studio, et cetera. And so there's definitely been a positive. And you over 25 years, you learned to delineate the bullshit compliment in the real ones. You know when people at this point are sincere. I take this all as valuable information.
Starting point is 00:51:48 Nothing's a sure thing, but I put some stock in it. And you, my love? I know if I like it, but I've also liked things no one else has liked or hated things everyone else has loved. But I don't know that I have, since Frozen, gotten the response from people, like even just planning this press tour,
Starting point is 00:52:06 when the critics get the first two episodes, logistically going like, okay, I'm gonna have to go to New York for two days or whatever. Oh, okay, we're getting so many calls. We have to triple the size of the press tour because we can't turn some of these great opportunities down. It's been a wonderful shock. And part of it has been, wow, this is really exciting
Starting point is 00:52:24 to see Plug Your Ears, Seth Cohen and Veronica Mars crossover that everyone's been waiting for. But also the idea that it is a real romantic comedy in the sense that older romantic comedies used to be made because they kind of like died off. So the infusion back into the romantic comedy world, there are sensibilities that people are open to at a time when art comes out, and you never really know when it's gonna hit.
Starting point is 00:52:48 The vibe of the world has to be ready for that piece, right? And I feel like the response we're getting is like, oh my God, I've been dying to see a romantic comedy like this. Like when Top Gun Maverick came out, we were like, oh, that's right, we like to fucking party in the movie theater. Right.
Starting point is 00:53:04 So people are ready for it, which I think is just good luck on our part. Yes, yes, I totally agree. I have seen most of it, and I was a part of anytime Kristen was watching cuts and giving notes, and of course I'm opinionated. And my take from the jump was like, yeah, and let's get to Adam and her.
Starting point is 00:53:21 What did you say when we were watching the second episode where we were at the dinner scene? You looked over at me. What'd I say? You go, God, I want you guys to kiss so bad. Yeah, let's go. Let's fucking go. You said that about cheating too.
Starting point is 00:53:33 You're always wanting her to kiss people. Yeah, yeah. Well, when the chemistry's right, that's what you're screaming for. I will say, the chemistry's great. And I, having worked with you before, and having read the script and knowing you and lovely dance partner even so I was like
Starting point is 00:53:50 Surprised and taken with how much we work together in it But I'm gonna say other than the guy you were in hit and run with this is like the second best chemistry You maybe ever had I would agree with that. Oh, sorry to a lot of people Oh Maybe ever had I would agree with that. Oh, sorry to a lot of people Did say after filming this you did have a scene with Justine and then you said that was my favorite scene I've done on the show. I did And you heard that and you took it personally But it might be the best scene on the show it's all right, you've said a lot of nice things I knew your skill set.
Starting point is 00:54:26 One thing I'm good at, I can't always articulate it, but I can like feel someone when they're acting. Whether I'm watching an audition or I'm watching a show and I'm like, oh, I know what lanes they're faking and I know what lanes they really use well and that they're very good at. You are living in your sweet spot. You can stare into someone's eyes and I'm like,
Starting point is 00:54:45 great, let them be my eyes, because I can stare back and we can crack the lens. Thank you. I will say about you, amazingly versatile, but never a false note. I found the entire performance pitch perfect. Thanks, Adam. She's an acting robot.
Starting point is 00:54:59 We all know that. AI. Mechanical. Precision. Acting AI. No, I always say there's nobody easier to edit than Kristen. She will have her hand in the exact same spot in every single take. She's so real yet all the mechanics are flawless.
Starting point is 00:55:13 You're a mess, Adam. Probably. Those hands, you're directing an airplane into its parking spot. I have long arms. I hear you. They're really hard to do something with when you're standing with nothing to anchor on.
Starting point is 00:55:23 I think that's why I do it maybe. There's building the connection, but it's also that it's awkward to stand there with long arms. Have you considered arm reduction, Serger? I think they're doing it in Guadalajara. I haven't considered it, but maybe I should. Yeah, they'll trim that humerus right up.
Starting point is 00:55:35 You'll be able to sit there and dangle just so comfortably. Okay, there's other great people in it that we love from other great shows. You just talked about Justine, of course. Justine Loop from Succession. I have seen that. And God is she a goldmine.
Starting point is 00:55:50 She is so much fun. Juilliard trained. Really? Don't sleep on it. Oh yeah. Oh wow. She's incredible, so it's not a surprise except that I don't know any Juilliard people.
Starting point is 00:55:59 And then Tim Simons. No one better. One of the greatest stories of all time started out as a casting assistant and they asked him to read with the actors and he was blowing people out of the water and they were like, wait a minute, step on camera for a second and then boom, he books Veep. It was on Veep? He was casting director on Veep?
Starting point is 00:56:17 I believe so. Wow. We also have a very fun text chain with all of us actors. And Tim primarily leads the joke section. A lot of picture content. He got really obsessed with the first scene we shot, which was one of the most romantic things of the show, hands on the face, that's where we discovered it. Adam was levitating off the street.
Starting point is 00:56:37 Everyone was like gooey around him. And there was a paparazzi across the street who got this photo of us like full bodied in three fourths, right? Your hands were on my face. We weren't kissing, but like our faces were really close together. It was like the moment before.
Starting point is 00:56:49 So it was super passionate. Take your time now. Everybody, if you're a young actor, that's where you wanna live. You wanna basically take your time approaching their face. And this is Adam's playbook, I can tell you right now, whether you know it or not. You take your time approaching their face,
Starting point is 00:57:02 and then you look all around their face. You just take it in, and then you go in, but you stop right before you make contact, and you wait there as long as you can. This is good stuff. You're not conscious of this? I'm not that conscious of it in the sense of, I'm gonna put my hand, I'm gonna do this,
Starting point is 00:57:20 but in the script it was, they have the best kiss of her life for their lives. You know what I mean? And so I was like, this is kiss of her life or their lives. Yeah, that's what it said. We weren't intimidated. And so I was like, this is going to need some time and some care. It was written as the world's greatest kiss that anyone's ever seen in the history of the universe. It was really effusive and so we read it and we were like, ooh, okay, we got to execute
Starting point is 00:57:38 this. Anyway, all that to say this paparazzi caught that anticipatory moment. So Tim has taken it upon himself to anytime a famous picture comes out in the media, he will Photoshop us over it to the side, like we were in the background or on the side of the street, and he sends it to us as though we were in every frame. Can I get your opinion? I don't want to derail this, but speaking of the kiss,
Starting point is 00:58:01 it doesn't really register in the show, so it doesn't really matter, but I still think it's weird. Are you talking about the ice cream? The purse. Talk to me. So in it, Erin and then Kristin both really liked this boss energy. She's like, we haven't kissed in that weird.
Starting point is 00:58:14 I'm like, I'm well aware we haven't. She's like, oh, maybe we should. And so we're walking and she's got ice cream and she's got like a little purse and we're on Vermont, busy city street. And I'm like, give me your ice cream. I'm on board with that. And then I'm like, put down your bag.
Starting point is 00:58:29 And right? No. Take your little purse off, put it on the street while we're gonna close our eyes and make out for a minute. Oh, the character was saying that out loud. Yes, and I was like, can I just do the ice cream? I get that, let's have our hands free. Why are you gonna put your purse on the ground? Aaron was like, I'll show you what I mean.
Starting point is 00:58:46 This is so cool. Kristen said the same thing. And I was like, I'll do it. It doesn't make any sense to me. OK, in the cut, I will give you you're 100 percent right. It did not read in our heads. The one to and you explain that very haphazardly just now like that. I'm trying to make it clear. We're like standing on the street corner and there's eye contact that is like laser beams. And I'm like, isn't it weird we never kissed?
Starting point is 00:59:09 And he says, oh, I'm very aware we haven't kissed yet. And I say, yet, beat, beat, beat. Everyone's burning, right? And then I say, but friends don't kiss. And then Adam says, give me your ice cream. And I hand it over like trembling like okay here we go. And in the script it worked as a two part beat because it was supposed to be like Monica the bag
Starting point is 00:59:33 you're carrying. Your medicine cabinet. It was meant to read as I need your body free for what I'm about to do to it. Symbolically yes, you're going fuck all these things, this thing you care about, I actually care about this way more. I understand the symbolism.
Starting point is 00:59:48 Right, and the problem was- But also you're a dick if you take a woman's nice bag and put it on the counter. Exactly. It was a little bag, it wasn't in the way. Both things are true. I just feel like it's on the ground and we're not watching it.
Starting point is 00:59:58 I would have said, you ask for the ice cream, you give the ice cream, you put your purse down. Ooh, nice solve. Now that probably should have been it. Look, it was 9.45 p.m. on a busy street in Los Feliz. Nobody texted Monica for her opinion, which we should have. Erin and I were taken by the flow of the scene in that there were two instructions
Starting point is 01:00:19 as to how to become prepared. Basically, I'm about to give you this gift and I need your body completely ready for it. And Erin and I were like, butterfly central. It doesn't work. You basically just say, put your purse on the ground and then we have the whole moment. And it's neither here nor there.
Starting point is 01:00:35 You were right. I wish we cut it out, but we didn't. Correct. I'll say you were right. It also plays with the paradox and dichotomy of we want respect in egalitarian behavior, and then at some moment we want someone to take charge. Yeah, at some point I'm gonna need you to grab me
Starting point is 01:00:51 by the back of the neck. I feel like particularly Erin actually and I would go back and forth a bit on certain things where she's like, no, I want you in charge, and I'm like, it is a little dickish. There's a line to walk. There's a line. But you're looking at it from a dickish point of view
Starting point is 01:01:03 when it doesn't have to be. It's dickish when it's not desired. That's the line to straddle. There you go. I am telling you as the single person in the room, if someone was about to kiss me and they said, put your purse on the ground, it would take me out of it. By the way, that wasn't the moment I thought was dickish.
Starting point is 01:01:20 I was just like, it's illogical. The person be on the ground. You were right. Here would have been my pitch if I were you. And I was just saying, instead's illogical. The person be on the ground. You were right. Here would have been my pitch if I were you and I was just saying, instead of asking for her ice cream, what if I grab her ice cream and chuck it against the wall behind her?
Starting point is 01:01:32 Let's get fucking wild. Right, right. And then you would have gone into the night. And smear it on her face. Didn't you ask for her gum? Yeah, in real life. That's the moment that I was sort of comparing it to, because you're right, we do desire respect
Starting point is 01:01:47 and we don't want to feel overpowered as women. But if there's a playful version where we're tipping into the monkey zone, it's goose pimples. Goose pimples. It's horripilation all over, just for a moment, because it's not. Horripilation. Horripilation, that was my word of the day a couple weeks ago. Nice.
Starting point is 01:02:01 It means goose bumpies. Oh my God, it's like herpes. No, horripian, like horror. Like horrible. Yeah, like Bellatian. But you're playing with an idea that you both know is dangerous, but you're both agreeing to play with that idea.
Starting point is 01:02:15 Yes, you're consenting. And then Jackie Chon- Jackie Chonies. Oh my God, the person I know the best. Good friend, Jackie Tone, friend of the pod. One of your longtime best friends. 25 Jackie Tone, friend of the pod. One of your long time best friends. 25 years, my first friend in Los Angeles.
Starting point is 01:02:29 She fucking crushes. There has never been a show or a role that was written more for Jackie Tone than this role. Yeah, when you want Long Island Jewish, there's one number to call. Yeah. So lovely. Can I pee real quick? Of course, there's a door.
Starting point is 01:02:45 Yeah, yeah, everyone take a nice squirt. It's my first time using this potty. Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, if you dare. Is there anything you wanted to say about Animal while he's out of the room? Does he smell or anything? He smells lovely if at all. You know what, that's one thing in doing a show that might have some intimacy in it, I said to him right when we started.
Starting point is 01:03:17 Because I have like a body oil. I was like, if I'm wearing anything that grosses you out or you just don't like or you prefer nothing, just let me know. And he kind of looked at me like, no, it's fine. Like it wasn't gonna be a whoop. And I was like, well, I thought I was being a real nice scene partner. That is very generous.
Starting point is 01:03:31 Very. I think you should always, right? We both use our breath spray before we smooch. That is nice. Okay, so Adam, you guys are four and 10 year old. Four and nine. And so what is that, fifth grade? She's a little old for her grade.
Starting point is 01:03:44 She just turned nine and she's going into third grade. She's going into first? Yeah. We're taking a slow. She's going into third grade. She should. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then the little guy?
Starting point is 01:03:52 He just turned four and he's in like a pre-kindergarten situation. Did you guys vacation this summer? Sort of. Leighton worked in Australia for three and a half months, did a show. No. Myself and the kids and our nanny were out there
Starting point is 01:04:03 for two months. In what part of Australia? The Gold Coast, Queensland. Upper right. I guess it's like mid east. When she's out of town and you're home with the kids all by yourself, do you like it? I mostly love it.
Starting point is 01:04:15 I should say I have a nanny, not maybe on weekends, but when she's out of town I have extra help and I love it. I like it because all these theories you've had, like if I was doing this by myself, I would do X, Y, and Z, and then you get to run these experiments while they're gone. Every dad I know that's with their kids by themselves has this same experience.
Starting point is 01:04:32 The hardest thing, although now that my son's getting a little older, it's getting easier, the age disparity, what they can do together is a little tricky. I love, I was working in Atlanta and my daughter was with me for a month. One-on-one time with anyone in my family is so great.
Starting point is 01:04:47 I find that kids are never more cooperative than when it's just you and them. You're not distracted because they don't like you talking to anyone else. So you're just talking to them, you're a team and you guys are off normally doing something to indulge them but sometimes they'll come with you on errands and stuff too and that's so wonderful.
Starting point is 01:05:01 So but I don't know, my son's been getting older and when my wife was out of town, I took him to the Renaissance Fair together. Oh you did? Yeah, yeah. Do you eat a turkey leg so wonderful. So, but I don't know, my son's been getting older and when my wife was out of town, I took him to the Renaissance Fair together. Oh, you did? Yeah, yeah. Do you eat a turkey leg? Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:05:10 Waffle fries? You guys love the Renaissance. Love it. Did I eat waffle fries? I don't think so. Although I'm getting over the turkey. I'm ready to move on. Yeah, did you watch the doc on HBO maybe?
Starting point is 01:05:17 No, is it good? It's pretty great. For me, Kristen's been gone and I'm like, okay, bedtime's gonna go like this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I get to do bedtime the way I wanna do it. And then I'm feeling really great about myself for about three weeks.
Starting point is 01:05:29 And then the victory of that gives way to like, oh, they're not getting a lot of what they need. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This has become a very well-oiled boot camp, and everyone's running on time, but they need a little more nurturing and compassion. I know. It's not that I'm not allowed to do what I want to do with them.
Starting point is 01:05:46 So it's not that I feel like the freedom to do my routine that I can't do otherwise. But I do love the one-on-one connection. And I love how in sync and close and dependent we get. We are anyway. I have a lot of time with them, but regardless. Then after three weeks, I'm like, why are you crying, honey? Why are you just indiscriminately sad? Oh, that's great.
Starting point is 01:06:08 Well, you guys are gonna go now on a little travel, right? Yeah. Are you looking forward to that, Adam? Today? No, not today. Yeah, absolutely. I don't mind, I was talking about this with late in the morning, some people mind press. I kinda don't.
Starting point is 01:06:21 We're doing a thing tomorrow, I should shave this fucking beard. Right. You don't have to shave, just trim it. You look cute. Just trim a little. Thank you. Yeah, looks nice.
Starting point is 01:06:30 Here's the plan. Trimming I find is tricky with my curly hair. It doesn't feel even. I just feel like I gotta kind of go all or nothing. Do you comb it out first? Do you straighten it? I trimmed it on the show, but regardless, I'm gonna take it off, do our thing tomorrow, and then I'll just let it all
Starting point is 01:06:47 come back and it'll be like three weeks in for when we do the other stuff in a month, and that'll be fine. Are you on board with that facial hair plan? Can I ask you a question? Did you have it during the show? Facial hair? Do you really not know?
Starting point is 01:06:59 I have a really bad memory. I guarantee she doesn't. I had a beard. Okay, thank you. A beard. I didn't even have like stubbles. I mean, it wasn't like a huge beard, but I think you'd call it a beard. Okay, thank you. A beard. I didn't even have like stubbles. I mean it wasn't like a huge beard, but I think you'd call it a beard. But then just keep it.
Starting point is 01:07:08 I know everybody likes it. How old are you now? Forty-four. How are you doing on gray? This is it. You're not doing any touch-ups to the hair? No, although in the show they combed in my beard a little darkening at the grayest parts. But I'm pretty fortunate.
Starting point is 01:07:22 I like the gray that's there because it's not overwhelming. There's a sweet spot. I was liking it. It looked wizened, I guess. And then slowly I'm like, oh wow, the sides of your hair are just straight gray now. The kids, every time I shave down, they're like, dad, you look so much younger.
Starting point is 01:07:36 Like it's dramatic. I love that. My kids don't like when I shave, which I get it, it's like scary. You haven't seen a face in a long time. I took Delta, our younger child, to Detroit, just her and I when she was three, and my beard had gotten so long,
Starting point is 01:07:48 I was on this show on Netflix, and we were there and it drove me nuts. And eventually we went into Myers, it's like a Walmart, I got an electric shaver, bought batteries, she sat in the back seat of the car and I shaved in the fucking parking lot looking in my reflection in the mirror. And then I got back in the car and I turned to look at her,
Starting point is 01:08:04 she was in her car seat and she goes, you don't look like my daddy. She was so scared and it was heartbreaking. It's like one of her core memories is a man got in the car and not look like her daddy anymore. That's awful. Wait, Kristen, so how old is the character you play? Debatable.
Starting point is 01:08:23 It is debatable. Okay. For as it is. 30s, 30, so how old is the character you play? Debatable. It is debatable. Okay. 30s... 30s... 30, 12. This was one of my biggest concerns, actually. Me? For the show.
Starting point is 01:08:32 Two. Not your age, but mine. We're in the same boat. I don't have any gray either. I'm very lucky, but I do have two gray eyebrow hairs. Oh, yeah, sure. And those are going to be the longest and straightest. Yes.
Starting point is 01:08:41 They're easy to find. But I think we were both maybe in the same boat of going, is anyone going to acknowledge or are we going to talk through that we're probably 10 years too old to be doing this particular character duo? Yes, yes, yes. That was my thing. It's like, I'm happy, I'm very comfortable with my age. I just don't want to pretend to be 10 years younger.
Starting point is 01:09:00 I want you to reconcile that you're casting me and you've got to allot for that amount of time that this person's been on this earth and he's in this position I need an explanation. It's not just charming, but you can get away with so much with your charm You really can Wow, you're really pulling it off. Well, there wasn't much of an explanation So I hope no, we never got it. By the way, I see movies semi-often I'm watching I'm like y'all this is the story of what happens to people at 24. And everyone in this thing's 40. Story dies as you get older. But times have changed.
Starting point is 01:09:31 Things are happening later. Very true and in a city, maybe even more so. Well yeah, and I think they tried to give evidence for that. You know, in a hustling bustling city of podcasts and influencers and hot stuff, you can push your desire to settle down much farther down the line. That was what I used for my character.
Starting point is 01:09:52 Mine had a little harder explanation because yours, we get that you're in bad relationships. It makes sense. You're in patterns. For me, I've committed to this life of the cloth a long time ago and tradition. And so I'm 15 years late to a wife and kids in this world. Tried to reconcile that and did a little and just
Starting point is 01:10:10 kind of plugged my ears. And at the end of the day you just show up and you be charming and then all that cloth that needs shit. It's more like a prerequisite to get out of the way. It's not that anyone even wants it. It's just how do we like get away with this. I'm saying as a fellow fisherman at sea you think about all this shit And then ultimately you go there and you just go be charming and funny. Yeah, did you have amuse amuse for the role? No, I mean, I guess I yeah, I tried to use Aaron. I was sent you. Ah, yes I did try to use Aaron because she no me. Oh Everyone still rolling's take that back, let's take that back. Everyone still rolling?
Starting point is 01:10:47 Just reset. Yeah, take it back. But I feel like, yes, in the drive and ambition of her career and sidelining her relationships, for sure. You're also playing a podcaster. She's a podcaster. Yes. Yeah, single podcaster.
Starting point is 01:11:01 I feel like I'm in trouble. You are. I was able to pull from that for sure, but I think that this character makes a lot more relationship mistakes. Taking a different approach, scattering on approach. Yeah. Fuck everyone you meet,
Starting point is 01:11:16 and then figure out if it's gonna work. Fuck them first. No one knows that yet until season two, but the rabbi will discover she's got a tattoo on her butt cheeks. Oh my God. It says, fuck them first, ask questions later. It was in Chinese. And then on the other cheek is fuck them all,
Starting point is 01:11:28 let God sort them out. Well, I love you two. I've seen it. You guys are so fun to watch together. You hit the fucking chemistry lottery. Maybe it's even tied with the guy you did hit and run with. It's so good. Nobody wants this.
Starting point is 01:11:44 This is out September 26th on thankfully the streaming service everyone has, Netflix. I hope that this is enormous. See it worldwide, it's not Shiksa, it's Nobody Wants This. You can understand that. It invites everybody in. You don't have to have the secret language to enjoy. All right, I adore both of you.
Starting point is 01:12:01 I'm delighted that you'll be the person that's in our lives for the next few years, fingers crossed. All right, love you guys. Love you. Love you, thank you. He is an armchair expert, but he makes mistakes all the time. Thank God Monica's here. She's gonna let him have the facts. You're really dressed to the nines.
Starting point is 01:12:21 Would you say so? I would say so for a Saturday morning. Well, I have to wear real clothes now. I know. I hate it. I was just thinking about, I was just thinking about like, do I want to eventize this and wear like some silly outfits or something?
Starting point is 01:12:36 Yeah. You know, pop-outs? Yeah, some pop-outs. I haven't worn any of my jumpers in a long time. That crossed my mind. Yeah. Yeah, a little jump jump. How was your slumber?
Starting point is 01:12:45 It was okay. Okay, out of 10? Out of 10, it was a four. Hmm, so that's not really okay. Okay, it would have to be five and above. Oh, then it's minus okay. Suboptimal. It wasn't great. When I would get into REM,
Starting point is 01:13:01 I was having the weirdest dreams. Oh, tell me. Very weird. One with my boyfriend. With REM. Yeah. I was having the weirdest dreams. Oh, tell me. Very weird. One with my boyfriend. With Matt? Yeah, but it wasn't a sexy dream. What's the point? It was actually more about his wife.
Starting point is 01:13:16 Oh my God. She was there, but she was cooking Indian food and I think I was babysitting for them or something. I don't remember the details, but it was very strange. Then I had another dream. Are there more details in there? Was the vibe, was it pure like or dismissive? Was it an old fear?
Starting point is 01:13:38 I think it was an old fear. Old fear, old stuff. It was, yeah, we weren't on the same level. So that was sad. And then, I mean, I think I know why that dream happened. Oh, you do? Yeah, I do. Are you going to share it,
Starting point is 01:13:55 or it's between you and your therapist? I mean, I guess there's many reasons why that dream happened. One is probably all the change in me wondering if I'm doing okay, or if I'm showing up or whatever. My other dream was about Hillary Clinton. Oh. She was with us and this is so weird. This is not anything to say about her.
Starting point is 01:14:22 Yeah. She was hanging out with us and like, it was really fun and she was doing these like little, weird kind of paintings. And all over the house there were just these like, Crayons and stuff. Were we at her house? No, we were at a random house. Okay, but she had her supplies there.
Starting point is 01:14:39 Yeah, her random little paintings would be all over the place. And when you looked closely, some were really intricate, but also some were very childlike. And then I went to take a shower and she had showered and there was a tiny bit of poop in the bathtub. Oh my goodness, what a wild dream. I know, and I was like, well, I can't, what do I do?
Starting point is 01:15:00 And I kept trying to like just put the water on to like wash it off, but it would not fully wash off. And I was like, I can't shower, I have to shower, but I also can't touch it or wipe it away. Yeah, yeah. Oh my God, it had really adhered to the tub. I know where the first part of that dream comes from, which is we were interviewing someone
Starting point is 01:15:21 and I gave the example of sitting alone at a restaurant that I feel like it looks pathetic if they know you. And my example is if you saw Hillary Clinton Because we were interviewing someone and I gave the example of sitting alone at a restaurant that I feel like it looks pathetic if they know you. And my example is if you saw Hillary Clinton eating at Taco Bell in a booth by herself. Oh. Remember, we spent a good deal of time imagining the story you'd fill in. Oh. Oh, wow.
Starting point is 01:15:39 She looks, she seems so lonely. Why is she by herself? All this stuff. You're right. Now the pootie in the tub. Yeah, I don't know. That's interesting. And art.
Starting point is 01:15:47 Yeah. Hmm. Like just ruins of art. Was that part of her art, do you think? Like an art installation? It could have been. It could have been. Was it in a aesthetic?
Starting point is 01:15:56 It was so small. It was. Yeah. Just a little dab. Just like would not go down the drain. Oh, is it because of the story you told about the- My plunging story. Maybe.
Starting point is 01:16:09 Oh my gosh. Maybe. It's all- But this is from days, I mean, I guess it's all just mashed in from the week. So maybe- Well, some things say, one of the descriptions we heard about what your brain's doing at night while it sleeps
Starting point is 01:16:21 is it has all this information, it's trying to put it in drawers. Like, where's it gonna store and file this, right? Like it's unraveling all these little bits that are floating around, it parks them somewhere. So it's like you had a plumbing disaster, you had Hillary at Taco Bell. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:16:36 Art I'm still trying to chase down. As women do, I blamed myself when I woke up. I figured like maybe I needed to go check in the middle of the night. Oh, sure, sure, sure. And so my, it was trying to tell me, everyone was trying to tell me and wake me up. I don't think that's the case
Starting point is 01:16:53 based on my movement this morning. Okay, is your movement healthy right now? It's too small. Too small. Today it was. We discussed this. And you don't feel disappointed in yourself like I would, like a failure. I don't feel disappointed, but I feel annoyed. Like I want. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:17:10 Agitated. But yours, yours are not going well. Yours is swinging in the opposite direction. But again, it's been so long that I'm like, I'm totally enjoying it. I think I told you so. I rode my I have a road bike, you know, I don't even know if it's 10 I have a road bike, you know, I don't even know if it's 10 speed or a 15 speed, but it's like a proper road bike.
Starting point is 01:17:28 You see people in like row wearing. Is this one you fell on? No, that was my electric bicycle. And I was going about 30 miles an hour when that happened. That's why we're against electric vehicles. That's primarily my beef with electric vehicles. No, it was an impulse buy. I took Lincoln to buy a bicycle at this bike shop primarily my beef with electric vehicles. No, it was an impulse buy.
Starting point is 01:17:45 I took Lincoln to buy a bicycle at this bike shop by Frogtown, by the LA River where the bike path is. And as I walked up, there was this gorgeous green and gold bike used. And I had never even considered a road bike. If you live in LA, you're either a biker or you're someone that's annoyed by how angry they are all the time.
Starting point is 01:18:07 But of course, when I ride one, I understand why they're so angry. But at any rate, it was so gorgeous. And then I just aesthetically, I had to own it and it was very inexpensive. Wow, so now see, you know what it's like when I go shopping and I see a pair of pants and I'm like, I just need it.
Starting point is 01:18:23 Yes, and then I'm gonna add to it something that happened yesterday. So I got this bike, I rode it for a minute. I had that crazy story where I rode it downtown then took the subway back and that guy got into it with that guy, so that was, you know. And then we just moved to this house and all my shit was in the old garage,
Starting point is 01:18:39 so I haven't ridden it forever. Then I think I may have updated you. I brought it over and I got fascinated again with how it looks aesthetically. You fell in love with it again. Yes, I did. I like rediscovered it and I was like, oh, that's right. I love this bike. So then I brought it here and then I put in the front tire was flat. So I put in a new inner tube and I'm not good at that. And I cut my fingers. They're still all cut. Oh, inflated it. Good. We're good to go. Next day, go to get on it. It's flat, the same tire. I'm like, what the heck?
Starting point is 01:19:05 No, back up. When I inflated the first one, a bit of the tube was hanging out of the tire, pinched between the rim, and it popped it. Like, oh shit. So then I took it back off, put another one on, pumped it up, okay, now we're good. Next morning go, that one's flat.
Starting point is 01:19:21 And now I'm like, oh my God, why won't an inner tube stay inflated in this wheel? So then I take the tire completely off and I inspect the rim and there's this little rubber ringer on the inside of the rim where the holes are into the spokes and a couple of those little holes, the rubber had worn off. So I think that tube was getting, I've lost you.
Starting point is 01:19:38 Anyways, I pull it. I recoded the inside of the rim with electrical tape, I'll have you know. Inflated it up and finally on the third inner tube and every time I cut more of my knuckles, it worked. So yesterday was my first inaugural ride. We finished working and I was like, oh right, my beautiful bike, I'm gonna ride it
Starting point is 01:20:01 to Hillhurst and look for somewhere to eat. And I thought, ah, all time. Yeah, I love all time. I had just been from my first time to lunch the other day. So good. I parked my bicycle directly in front of the host stand and the host said, oh my God, that's like the most gorgeous bike I've ever seen.
Starting point is 01:20:17 Wow. I said, me too. I bought it on an impulse buy. Yeah. Ate a delicious meal. So good. Lettuce wrap burger in the good ass salad. Yeah, the salad's incredible.
Starting point is 01:20:27 And it's a huge salad. Huge. It's like a gallon of different lettuces. Yeah. And I ate most of it. Wow. So this might be, mm. No, yeah, you can't.
Starting point is 01:20:37 There's a lot of roughage on an empty stomach. So then before I left, I'm like, well, I gotta pee because I drank three iced teas. I'm gonna go in and pee. And as I was peeing, I thought, let's sit down for a second and just regroup. And then, yes. Yeah, but I wanna make clear this is not about the food. No, no, this clearly, if you recall,
Starting point is 01:20:56 the same issue happened to me the day before while putting together a basketball hoop. Something, I have a bug. Clearly. You know, yeah, full experience in that bathroom. And I thought, thank goodness I sat down because I had to ride home. Oh.
Starting point is 01:21:13 Who knows what story I'd be telling you right now if I didn't take the extra time to sit down. Those bicycles, it's crazy how much more dangerous they are than riding a motorcycle. Really? I think so because the motorcycle is so loud and you're going the same speed as the traffic. No one's having to figure out when they're passing you.
Starting point is 01:21:31 And where it got particularly dicey is like, I'd get up to a light and traffic's bad here, so I'm going along the right. And then occasionally people are just like, they're deciding to go around somebody. And then of course they don't look for a bicycle because they can't hear anything and whatever. So yeah, even in that short trip back and forth,
Starting point is 01:21:50 there were like a couple little moments that were dicey and I could see where these people blow up. I didn't, I'm like, I get it, I'm hard to see. I know, I mean- Bicycles are rough, right? Yeah, I- Go ahead. I hate bicycles.
Starting point is 01:22:02 I know, I know. I do, they know. I do. They make me so nervous. It's no one's fault really. It's like a, it's a poorly designed system that has this predictable outcome. Cause when we were in Denmark and Copenhagen this year, they're so dedicated and separate
Starting point is 01:22:18 and everyone rides a bike. It's like the greatest way to get around and it works so well. But we're just, the way they're set up is- Well, our roads aren't meant for it, but also they just built a bike lane across from Covell, which is one of my places. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:22:35 I love it there, I have a plaque. And they just built a bike lane and it has now made parking impossible. How come? Because it ate up the parking lane? Yeah, and now the parking's like kind of in the middle of the street. Oh, weird. It's so weird.
Starting point is 01:22:52 Oh, weird. And I really don't like it, and I understand it's like maybe good for the bicyclists, but now it's bad for the car drivers. Yeah. I mainly walk there anyway, luckily. Yeah, good. Also, your top two fears are swimming and bicycling.
Starting point is 01:23:11 Right? Oh, abandonment. Okay, abandonment, bicycles, swimming. Yeah. Because you can't, it's not like you can go, well, if you can't beat them, join them. I'm gonna start bicycling to Coval. No.
Starting point is 01:23:23 It's never gonna happen. No. It'd be like you swimming to Coval. I'm more confident on a bike than I am in the pool. Right, but you did have that traumatic experience in Ojai. I did, but I choose to look at it, glass half full. I didn't actually fall over. Yeah, and 99% of the ride was issue free.
Starting point is 01:23:41 Yeah, well, I just drove up onto that. Bush. Big bush. Yeah. And. But didn't fall. I didn't fall. It did not fall. That's good. But I did lose control. Right.
Starting point is 01:23:52 And I don't talk about this part of that ride very much. There was a piece of metal, or like maybe it was the kickstand or something. There was like a piece that was sticking straight out. And so for a huge part of the ride, I was just like, every time I pedaled, it would hit my leg and it hurt a lot. And I kind of was just like,
Starting point is 01:24:14 I guess I'll just deal with this pain. Yeah, right, ignore it. Which is kind of, it's very old me. And cause you know, everyone else knew what they were doing and I just assumed like, I don't know, I can't stop and I can't like take care of myself. And then eventually I had to.
Starting point is 01:24:30 And then Amy of course, like turned around and was helping me and she was like, oh my gosh, this is sticking out. And then I got back on the bike. Well, I was a little bit self-serving question how you slept last night, because I slept incredibly well. Oh, good.
Starting point is 01:24:48 Yeah, first time in a minute. That's great. Went to bed before 11, woke up at seven when I heard rustling in the house, and then Whiskey joined me. That's his first order of business, is get up to my bed, go back to bed for the rest of the day.
Starting point is 01:25:01 And then I was able to sleep all the way to 920. Wow. Yeah, so I did at least nine and a half, maybe 10 hours last. Oh, you were at Cara. Was at Cara working. Working, and then what happened? And then I finished working and then Jess came.
Starting point is 01:25:19 Uh-huh, martini time. And I had a martini and then Anna came. Oh, another martini. And I had another martini and then Anna came. Oh, another martini? And I had another martini. And then we went to All Time for dinner. Oh, you did? Yeah, we didn't have diarrhea. Oh yeah, of course.
Starting point is 01:25:32 It doesn't give you diarrhea. No. I gave myself diarrhea. I'm to blame. Yeah. That was good. Honest, by the way. I don't even want to think I had diarrhea. Yeah, that's it.
Starting point is 01:25:39 That's disgusting. Yeah, that's gross. Do you remember the movie Becoming Bond that Josh was in, Lawson? Oh, vaguely, yes. It's so good, and when he visited, it reminded me how much I liked that movie. I also know George Lazenby, who it's about.
Starting point is 01:25:58 Okay, well tell people what it's about. Yeah, so the most famous James Bond story is James Bond had been Sean Connery for years. I don't know how many he made, but he was James Bond story is James Bond had been Sean Connery for years. I don't know how many he made but he was James Bond. Yeah. And they, he wanted to stop doing it so they had to replace him. They start a search. Now there's this man, he's an Australian, he is bad in school, George Lazenby. He became a mechanic and then quickly discovered he wanted to sell cars. So then he was a car salesman, he was in love with this girl.
Starting point is 01:26:27 The girl moves to London, he then moves there to be with her, or actually win her back. Becomes a car salesman there, and a guy comes in who's a photographer, and he says he wants to photograph him. He's a very ruggedly tall, big, handsome Australian. And so he's weirded out by that at first,
Starting point is 01:26:44 so he sends his girlfriend, he's one her back. And then the guy's like, no, no, I wanted to photograph you. He allows this and then immediately starts getting all of these ad campaigns, huge ones. He becomes like a very successful male model, reluctantly. And then he meets this woman who is an agent for movies and she tells him, you've got to go in and meet on this movie, 007.
Starting point is 01:27:12 And she's like, but you're going to have to fool your way in. You're not invited. So he goes, he tells this preposterous story. This is the fun of the movie. His stories are impossible. He says he got operated on 67 times for his, I mean literally he says 67 times. He goes in and then they won't let him in.
Starting point is 01:27:31 So then he goes and he claims he knew where Sean Connery got his hair cut. So he goes in and gets his hair cut like Sean Connery's and then he claims he knows where the tailor made Sean Connery's suits. He goes in there and they have one made. It's gonna take six months, but Sean's left a suit behind.
Starting point is 01:27:43 He hasn't picked up in two months, and he steals it, it's all part of his story. Then he shows back up, and he walks right by the receptionist, he walks into the casting directors, and he claims he's worked all over the world as an actor, and then he cons his way into meeting the producer of the movie, and he lies to that guy, then they fly the director home to meet him,
Starting point is 01:28:03 he tells the director the truth, I've never acted. And the director is like, well, it's pretty impressive you got by all these people, blah, blah, blah, long story short, he becomes James Bond. Wow. How much of this is true? I have no idea. The doc is incredible because when he tells these stories,
Starting point is 01:28:15 they do these reenactments, but they're really, they're scenes. Oh, it's a doc. It's a doc, it's like a hybrid. They're actually interviewing George Lazenby. Oh. He's telling his life story. Got it. And as he tells the story,
Starting point is 01:28:26 we flash back in Josh Lawson plays. In the reenactment. Lazenby, yes. There's something magical, but when you're hearing the stories, they don't sound that crazy. But when then you have to see a human walking through the stories,
Starting point is 01:28:37 it's like, well, hold on, this couldn't possibly have happened. Oh, that's funny. It's really funny. And then why it's so famous is the movie comes out. It's a huge hit. It's like one of the biggest.'s so famous is the movie comes out. It's a huge hit It's like one of the biggest they try to sign him to six more Million dollar Sony signing bonus in the 60s bond you mean James Bond comes out not becoming bond
Starting point is 01:28:54 Correct this in the late 60s or early 70s And it's an enormous hit and they try to sign him for six more and they offer him a million dollar signing bonus Which at the time is I don't know what that is, 10 million dollars now. And he turns it all down. And he never did one again. It's so complicated. What does he say? It starts with him when he was doing press for it,
Starting point is 01:29:14 he had a beard and they're like, you gotta shave your beard, you're the new James Bond, you gotta look like Bond. He's like, I'm not gonna, this is me. It's really a story of getting in your own way. Yeah. Well, or what's worth what? Maybe the him, it doesn't matter
Starting point is 01:29:29 that he didn't make that money. He's like, I'm me and I wanna do this. Absolutely, I don't wanna be Bond. I guess it's just nuts to think about turning down six movies and millions and millions of dollars when you're, you'll love it. We had been talking about it at dinner. I'm like, I wanna rewatch that.
Starting point is 01:29:44 Lincoln's like, that sounds great. I'm like, yeah, you'll love it. We had been talking about it at dinner. I'm like, I wanna rewatch that. Lincoln's like, that sounds great. I'm like, yeah, it's so good. Delta had a sleepover, so the three of us watched it. I forgot most of his stories. Almost all of his stories are about how much sex he had. And with multiple people in orgies. Yeah. And everything went fine.
Starting point is 01:30:04 I was just like, wow, this was a little bit different subject matter than... Did they ask a lot of questions? She did not. She was just kind of laughing at a lot of how stupid it all was. She seemed to be on the right side of like how preposterous these stories were.
Starting point is 01:30:18 I wonder if the kids these days, the youth, if they like me when I was young, everything just did go over my head. Right. And Clueless being the prime example, I was obsessed with that movie. Yeah, yeah. And now I look back at it and I'm like,
Starting point is 01:30:37 why'd I like that movie? I didn't understand any of it. Anything that was happening. No. You just liked the clothes and her personality, probably going to college. I guess. I guess. I mean, a lot of people my age say this, like, oh, I didn't understand this,
Starting point is 01:30:50 I didn't understand this, but it was huge. So I wonder if the kids know more now and it doesn't go over their head or? And I also wonder my kids in particular, which is we've always been very, very upfront about, like, yeah, humans have sex, there's a penis and vagina, and an we've always been very, very upfront about like, yeah, humans have sex, there's a penis and vagina, and an ovum and a sperm, blah, blah, blah.
Starting point is 01:31:08 So I was more thinking like, well, I would have hated watching this with my parents. Yeah. You know, I think. Yeah, even now. But I also would have hated to see my mom naked, but we're all naked a lot like Europeans. Oh, right.
Starting point is 01:31:24 So I don't know. What's the rule about that? They decide when? Yeah. Okay. That's my theory is that like there'll be a moment or I will detect that she's like, oh Jesus, Dad, put clothes on. Right.
Starting point is 01:31:38 And then I will. Yeah. Or I'll lock my bedroom door. I don't know what I'll do. Yeah, okay. But they seem to be, it seems to be like the way, remember Heidi Klum was explaining? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:31:48 And even the notion her dad, now this is not a goal, but her dad filmed her birth. Right. Yeah, very Euro. Yeah, very. So I don't intend on filming any of Lincoln's births. Right. But yeah, I am, most of am, all the other dads I know
Starting point is 01:32:05 are in the same zone right now. They're like, I don't know, when are they gonna be like, feel self-conscious about all this? And girls versus boys, and it's complicated. It is. I have zero memories of ever seeing my dad naked, and I'm happy about that. Right, your mom, would you see her naked?
Starting point is 01:32:24 I think so, and I'm happy about that. Right. Your mom, would you see her naked? I think so. And I have like a vague memory, but barely. Like nothing that's sticky. I mean, there's a lot of ways to go about this theoretically. One, you just start with the fact that, well, we weren't born with clothes. We lived without clothes. No other animals are like weirded out You just start with the fact that we weren't born with clothes. We lived without clothes.
Starting point is 01:32:45 No other animals are like weirded out by how their physical form looks. Yeah. Right, like every animal sees their father's penis, it's on display in the animal kingdom. So at some point we got really self-conscious about it. Probably when we learned to talk. Yeah, I don't know.
Starting point is 01:33:05 And then there's plenty of footage of, you know, that National Geographic was capturing in the 60s of these villages where people are naked. It is, I mean, it's cultural. A lot of places definitely are way, way, way more open to it. That'd be a funny, that'd be a fun index to look, like bi-country.
Starting point is 01:33:23 Most. Least nude around family members, most nude. I bet we're somewhere in the middle there because I do think probably Asia and the Middle East have a lot of, they're on the other end. I would think. So I bet we're more middle. Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, if you dare.
Starting point is 01:33:59 Yeah, that made me think of this terrible thing I read about the new Taliban laws, the edicts they just released. I don't know, I didn't know that. So they're going back to women have to be covered in public. But beyond that, women are no longer allowed to speak in public. They can't speak in public. And if they wanna fly, they have to have a male chaperone
Starting point is 01:34:20 take them on an airplane. They can't fly on their own. This is within the Taliban? This isn't like the national? No, the Taliban's in, they're the government in charge now. Wait, where? In Afghanistan.
Starting point is 01:34:33 Oh. Yeah. That place has had a wild last 70 years. Cause Russia came in, they put girls in school for the first time, then that was happening. Then they left, then they resume no girls in school. Then first time, then that was happening, then they left, then they resumed No Girls in School,
Starting point is 01:34:47 then we came in, then back, I mean, all this flip-flopping. Yeah, that's part of the unrest that people come in to fix and then leave. And you can't talk in public? Oh my God. They're not allowed to look directly at men either. Yeah, can't look at men. They're not related to blood or marriage.
Starting point is 01:35:06 Wait, say the last- They can't look at any men that they're not related to through blood or marriage. Can't look. Wolf a guy's like, hey, hey, you're on fire. I see smoke. Oh. That's so fucked.
Starting point is 01:35:19 It's nuts in 2024 on planet Earth. I know. Fuck. I know. I hate it. Sorry to be a downer, but whatever we were just talking about. Do you wanna move there now? It's nuts in 2024 on planet earth. I know. Fuck. I know. I hate it. Sorry to be a downer, but whatever we were just talking about. Do you want to move there now? No way. I want women to look at me.
Starting point is 01:35:32 Are you kidding me? I couldn't live in a society where women aren't looking at me. I'm hoping every woman looks at me. You would love it though. Cause then like, if they do, you'd feel you get so much approval. Oh, I guess that's right.
Starting point is 01:35:43 But how do they know they wanna look at you unless they've already looked at you? Well, it's kinda like Love is Blind, that show. I don't watch that, everyone watches and loves. They don't see the person, but they fall in love with their personalities, I guess. I mean, it'd be great for mansplaining because you just do all the talking.
Starting point is 01:36:00 They're not allowed to talk back. Exactly. You just hear yourself talk. Oh. God, what a nightmare. Oh my god, it's so bad. Oh, that makes me sad. So yeah, my hunch is nudity's probably not
Starting point is 01:36:13 super embraced there. That's my guess. Well, moving on to this very light. I relayed all of your compliments to Kristen last night and she was very touched by all of it. I told her too, she's outrageous. She really is. And the Brodsky.
Starting point is 01:36:33 Yeah, he's so good too. So charming. The most. Yeah, you just like it, right? Yeah. Yeah, that's good. The chemistry? Yeah, you never feel threatened. I don't.
Starting point is 01:36:43 That's good. Yeah, I think, I assume, well, what do you think? I think, well, I think it weirds people out a bit. That what? That you don't care? That I don't care, right? Or that I'm not like, oh, why is my wife kissing someone?
Starting point is 01:36:57 And then I think because that's such a foreign thought to them, they start filling in the blanks of why I'm like that. These are, there's all machinations in my head. Yeah. What do you think they're thinking? Well, I've seen what, I mean, I've seen like news articles where we host orgies and stuff, right?
Starting point is 01:37:13 Like, so I know some people are filling in like really crazy level of explanation. And so yeah, I'm like, oh, are they jumping to some idea that we have an open relationship or something, which we don't. And then what are they, you know, how are they explaining it? I guess just when you're trying to guess at something,
Starting point is 01:37:32 you can't really relate to, I get nervous about what your conclusion might be. What do you think? I think a lot of people cannot relate to that. I think most people would feel feelings. Worry. Around, whether it's worry or jealousy or straight up anger, I don't want to see that.
Starting point is 01:37:51 Yeah, yeah. I think that's the most common thing, but I also think that those people are actors and you don't, and it's, it is different. And you are also an actor, so you've been on the other side. It's also one thing if one person's an actor and the other person isn't, and then they have,
Starting point is 01:38:08 that's probably hard. I bet I would feel... Oh yeah, oh I know it. I've heard many, many terrible stories. It's generally actresses who are married to a guy who's not an actor, who's quite jealous of all their, there was this, oh we had, when we had Pamela Anderson on, it's like Tommy Lee would go sit on set
Starting point is 01:38:28 anytime she had a scene that she had to kiss somebody, and like be at the monitors and shit. And again, it's so like ownership-y, and that part's tricky. It's not the greatest side of ourselves. It's not, but I also, it's all a search for safety and comfort, and when you link up with someone, you wanna feel that you're prioritized
Starting point is 01:38:50 and that you guys are a unit and you're safe. And even though we have a 50% divorce rate, I think when you're in your marriage, you hope that it's indestructible. And so I understand. in your marriage, you hope that it's indestructible. And so I understand. But what's also funny is it doesn't really, it wouldn't even be, if you were jealous,
Starting point is 01:39:13 it wouldn't be even the most logical place to start. So interestingly, like on House of Lies, where she hooked up with a bunch of people, Brody being one of them, if I had to assess who was a potential threat in that whole universe of that show, it wasn't any of her scene partners. It wasn't anyone she was kissing on screen.
Starting point is 01:39:31 It would be Josh Lawson. He's so funny. He's so likable. He's so personable. So I'm not sitting there worrying about she's kissing Brody in a scene. That would be the wrong person to even worry about. Or in The Good Place,
Starting point is 01:39:48 I'm not worried about William Jackson Harper. I'd be much smarter to think about how often she's hanging out with Mike Schur, the creator of the show. Oh yeah. So it's not even like, even if I were a very jealous person, it would be probably the wrong person to be worried about. Yeah, you don't even have the thing about Mike or,
Starting point is 01:40:06 I mean, you have said of anyone, he is- Of anyone. I can't, I acknowledge I can't compete with the offerings that she likes about him. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he's a special guy. Yeah, but I don't, I really don't. I don't spend any time thinking about it.
Starting point is 01:40:21 I think feeling confident in your relationship is, I mean, I don't wanna insinuate that if you- Do have those feelings you're not confident. Yeah, that's not true either, but I think there's also, you know, people have different, we talk about this on Synced a lot, because Liz really like, cheating is a huge fear for her, of like being cheated on is a really, really big deal.
Starting point is 01:40:46 And I think that's for many people. Like that's the line that can't be crossed. But everyone has different lines. Exactly, I just have different lines. Some of them might think I don't have lines. I totally have lines, but they're not that. And of course I have conviction in lines. I totally have lines. Yeah. But they're not that. And of course I have conviction in mine. I actually think most people are worried
Starting point is 01:41:09 about the wrong thing. This is what I think is wrong. I will stand on this hill and die on it. I think a lot of people would prefer an unhappy, acrimonious marriage with contempt that's faithful. They wouldn't leave over that. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:41:22 Versus, I would way prefer cheating and still not have contempt in acrimony, all those things. So to me, I think that's a really weird thing to prioritize that much. A one-off event versus your life, to me feels like the wrong thing to be vigilant about. But some people, I mean, the level of betrayal that some people can't get over it.
Starting point is 01:41:44 And, you know, everyone's different. Yeah, I've also had the benefit of betrayal that some people can't get over it. And everyone's different. Yeah, I've also had the benefit of being in two things and seeing that it had no impact on love. Open relationship, exactly. That I do think changes it. Also, and admittedly felt as we, I've told stories on here, I have experienced the crippling jealousy
Starting point is 01:42:02 where I drove to someone's house to fight them. Like I know the pain and anguish of it. I don't want that. It was too much. When I was jealous, it was all consuming and I could feel bad for my body in my being. You do a good job though of, this is like the positive side to compartmentalization
Starting point is 01:42:24 where you're like, that's a feeling I don't wanna feel anymore. So I am putting that over here and I'm not gonna feel that anymore. And then you are somehow able to do that, which a lot of people are not. Well, I think it's like, yeah, that's a really strong feeling.
Starting point is 01:42:38 Also is my desire to drink is very strong and I'm gonna put that over there and I'm gonna ignore that. Like I also have practiced in a lot of, exactly, yeah. I have bad practice where I was like, yeah, we did that terrible thing, we're not gonna think about that, that's a bad side. But I'd say, yeah, one of the tools that came out
Starting point is 01:42:51 I was like, yeah, I can take a very powerful thing and fucking kick it somewhere. Yeah, yeah, that is true. All right, so some facts real quick. So are VW and Audi the same thing? Yeah, I mean, Audi's a subsidiary of Volkswagen. Of the VW group. Name the other ones.
Starting point is 01:43:09 Is Porsche in there? Yes. Yes, Porsche, Lamborghini. Porsche, Lamborghini, Bentley, and Bugatti. Bentley and Bugatti, the B's. Oh, the dogs that talk with buttons. In this picture, so there's different mats. Some are smaller. This one has a lot of buttons In this picture, so there's different mats.
Starting point is 01:43:25 Some are smaller. This one has a lot of buttons in this Washington Post article. Okay, these are called button dogs and their perceived ability to communicate by pressing buttons, identifiable by picture symbols or location corresponding to specific words. Pet parents record nouns, verbs, and emotions and believe the buttons enable their dogs and in rare cases, cats to ask questions, express such feelings as pain or anger and indicate something they want.
Starting point is 01:43:52 I think this is a video. See if I can play. Do you wanna put on the TV? Should we? Did you already figure that out? Yeah. Oh my God. Do you think we can, Rob?
Starting point is 01:44:04 Yeah, if you wanna email me yet. Oh my God. Do you think we can, Rob? Yeah, if you wanna email me yet. Oh my God, this is exciting. I feel like we're going live to Carol at Times Square. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.
Starting point is 01:44:15 There he is. Oh my God, look how high tech this is. This is so high tech. Oh my God, welcome to the future everybody. Too high tech. Okay, so just tell me what you wanna do. I can control it from here. Okay, so just tell me what you wanna do. I can control it from here. Okay, so scroll down.
Starting point is 01:44:27 I think there's a video, that video. Let's see if we can watch it. I just think there's a lot of inferring going on in these videos. You're like, you're trying to make sense of what the dog's saying, you end up convincing yourself of what it is. So the dog said, I help. I help. Oh my gosh, you're right.
Starting point is 01:44:46 But then what happened? We don't know. That's over. She just said, you're right. You need help. But then they left the room. No, maybe somebody's eye was hurt in the next room. Oh wow.
Starting point is 01:44:59 And then they just, the two dog owners sit on the couch very far from the dog. This is a, they got a whole, this is a lifestyle. Yeah. Yeah. But hey, if they're happy. Yeah. I bet their dog's happy as hell. Well, you know, I mean, there are seizure dogs.
Starting point is 01:45:15 Oh yeah. That's the only reason I think this could be true. Where they call 911, but I think it's just one button, right? Yeah, but no, but it's more that they sense the seizure. Yeah. Which that's pretty impressive. And then I think they can hit one button, right? Yeah, but no, but it's more that they sense the seizure. Yeah. Which that's pretty impressive. And then I think they can hit a button that calls 911,
Starting point is 01:45:29 but that's a singular button that you'd give it a snack every time it ate. Yeah, but you can't give it a snack when you're seizing. What if it just started calling 911 all the time though? This is high risk. I actually, I've only seen when a seizure dog, they sense the seizure. Yeah. And so they like, they basically get under the person
Starting point is 01:45:49 or like create a barrier so that they don't get injured during the seizure. Or I saw one video where they like ran and got the medication. Oh my gosh, really? Yeah. But can you take, and then do they open up the jar and put it in your mouth?
Starting point is 01:46:03 Cause aren't you seizing? Well, it's supposed to be before it happens. Oh, they sense it. Yeah. It's pretty cool. Very cool. I know, I do kind of want one. But what, back to the dog dialing 911,
Starting point is 01:46:14 that's a lot to, if you deputize a dog and give them permission to call 911, if they heard you in the bathroom and you had harness and you're like, oh, oh, would they call, like this could really get out of hand in a hurry. Things caught, like if it was a neurotic dog that was worried about you a ton, my dog seems to be worried about me all the time.
Starting point is 01:46:36 Oh. Yeah. I was doing something yesterday. I was laying on the couch and Lincoln was laying next to me and I grabbed her feet and I started eating her calves and Whiskey was like, oh my God, he's acting like a dog. And he's the big dog. Like it's almost, I could tell he had been waiting for me to eat somebody for a long time,
Starting point is 01:46:52 because I'm the alpha dog. He was like abnormally excited that I was eating her legs. That sucks. I thought he was going to be mad that you were hurting Lincoln. Lincoln, well, she was laughing, so he didn't, but he seemed- Oh my God.
Starting point is 01:47:08 Like, oh gosh. He's disturbed. Clearly. Like- Yes, he has emotional issues. Big time, and that even proves it. Like, he's evil, I think. Well, big-
Starting point is 01:47:18 And he's keeping, yes, because he has bitten me, buttoned me twice. Oh, he's bitten me two dozen times. I know, you do always say that after I talk about being bitten. Well, because I want you to know he loves me. He doesn't love me. I don't live with him.
Starting point is 01:47:32 And I don't, like, we don't have a relationship. And so he has no right to bite me unless he's angry or being mean and bad. And he's done it twice. And I think he's obsessed with murder. Well, I can't speak on whether or not he's obsessed with murder, but when I tell you that he bites me, it's to tell you,
Starting point is 01:47:53 well, he doesn't dislike you. I'm trying to comfort you. I know, but it feels dismissive. It doesn't work. It feels dismissive. Like I'm dismissing your experience. Yeah. Yeah, I hate when he bites.
Starting point is 01:48:02 He snaps at me. I have to, well, I shouldn't say it. Most of the time it's Kristen, cause I make it pretty clear, these are y'alls dogs, so you need to take them out at night. But I obviously do have to take him out a couple, three nights a week. And he's asleep on my bed and I gotta like,
Starting point is 01:48:18 every night it's like, oh God, here we go. It's like waking up an alligator. I gotta go like, whiskey, time to go pee pee. And I start pushing on the bed around him, hoping that the movement of the bed will just kind of rouse him. Because if you touch the back of him while he's in and out of sleep,
Starting point is 01:48:34 he's like, like he just panics. Oh, well, can we maybe get him a mat with buttons and let's put murder on there. And let's just like see how many times he presses it. Yeah, I don't think he would, look, we got dog stairs for the bed. They're so intuitive. You couldn't, it couldn't be more simple to understand.
Starting point is 01:48:53 And we've even like marched him up. But he'll stand, he'll be at the bottom of the bed next to the dog stairs, barking for 45 minutes. Yeah. Won't take those stairs. But I think that could be stubbornness and manipulation. I do, yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:49:06 Okay, we were debating how to pronounce this word. Sith. Sith. Sith, I said Scythe. One of you said Scythe, I forget which. I think I said Scythe, maybe. Sith, yeah, okay. That's S-C-Y-T-H.
Starting point is 01:49:22 S-I-T-H. Is that a different word? Yeah, I'm thinking of the cut, the big. The knife. It's a pole with a moon-shaped cutter, and I think it's for taking down wheat. A sickle? Oh, S-C-Y-T-H-E.
Starting point is 01:49:39 Yeah, how do we pronounce that? Okay. Okay. Hold on, let me bring it up. We are looking at how to pronounce this word as well as how to say more interesting but often confusing words and names in English. So make sure to stay tuned to the channel. This is the name of an agricultural hand tool
Starting point is 01:49:59 for mowing grass originally, but also the name of a- Hold on, I'm gonna start it here, cause... Really quick, it is interesting that the person they picked to tell us how to pronounce stuff, every word he's saying sounds weird. A pillow board game, and now video game. How do you say it? Scythe.
Starting point is 01:50:17 Scythe. So I was right. I think you were right. Scythe. Okay. Fuck. Wow. Can't believe that one went my way. I had 9% confidence anytime I. Scythe. Okay. Fuck. Wow. Can't believe that one went my way.
Starting point is 01:50:25 I had 9% confidence anytime I said Scythe. So then what is S-I-T-H? What is it? A Sith. But then S-I-T-H is saying the same thing, a fictional order of Force wielders in the Star Wars universe. Ah, it's a Star Wars word. The Sith. The Sith, yeah, no. In the Star Wars universe. Ah, it's a Star Wars word. The Sith.
Starting point is 01:50:45 The Sith, yeah. Okay. Uh-oh, sorry Star Wars people. Star Wars people are like, oh my God, how did they know nothing about the Sith? I don't know if I can listen to this show anymore. I've never seen them, so. Any of the Star Wars. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:51:01 Okay, if you want to see, if you want to listen to Adam Brody on Loveline that is on YouTube, you can find it. Scream 4 came out in 2011, which we had talked about a little bit. Now, okay, so there's a big discrepancy about Paul Rudd being in some girls, and Paul Rudd is in the shape of things. Okay.
Starting point is 01:51:19 That play, but then movie. Okay, and that's a Neil LaBeute play and movie? Yes, and I love that play. but then movie. Okay, and that's a Neil LaBeute play and movie? Yes, and I love that play. Yeah, and movie? I haven't seen it. Some Girls is not with Paul Rudd, is with Adam Brody. Adam Brody. And Kristen.
Starting point is 01:51:37 And Kristen. Yeah, and other people as well. I can't picture that movie. I'm wondering if I ever saw it. I know I read the play. I read all of his plays in college because I was obsessed with him, but I don't remember it.
Starting point is 01:51:50 And he's maybe an ex-Mormon, is that his? He has some interesting background. Neil Abute. His first work, Basque, got him excluded from the Mormon church. There we go. I knew there was, because he's from Utah. He converted to Mormonism in the 80s.
Starting point is 01:52:04 Oh, wow. What a ride he had. Because of a marriage. Wow, all right. Tim Simons, yes, he had a gig as a casting session director which led to an audition for Veep. So I still am not certain if he was the casting director on Veep or if it was on casting director on Veep
Starting point is 01:52:25 or if it was on something else that led to the audition. I'm not clear on that. Yeah, I had heard he was an assistant reading with people on Veep. Well, that's what Kristen said. That's probably why I heard it that way. I think that's probably where you heard it. Yeah, but it's a little,
Starting point is 01:52:40 we're gonna have to ask him directly. Okay. And that, I believe. Concludes. Is all. I kinda wanna use the TV again. No, that didn't really work very well. Okay, well in that case.
Starting point is 01:52:51 Well, that's it. Oh, okay. Well, I love you. Love you. Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondry app, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to every episode of Armchair Expert early and ad free right now by joining Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.

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