Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard - Molly McNearney
Episode Date: February 8, 2024Molly McNearney (Jimmy Kimmel Live, The Oscars) is a writer and executive producer. Molly joins the Armchair Expert to discuss how much respect she has for comedy writers, how growing up Catholic infl...uenced her perspective on dating, and how she originally wanted to be a local news reporter. Molly and Dax talk about her journey to becoming head writer on Jimmy Kimmel Live, how fast-paced it is to produce a late-night bit, and what the goal of a monologue is. Molly explains why the Mean Tweets segment became so popular, what it’s like to work closely with a romantic partner, and how the spread of misinformation has changed her perspective on producing content. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert, Experts on Expert.
I'm Randall Shepard, I'm joined by Lily Padman.
Hi there.
And we have one of our absolute buddies, our dearest buddies on today.
So fun.
Molly McNierney.
She, of course, is the co-head writer and executive producer of Jimmy Kimmel Live.
Yes.
She's also married to Jimmy Kimmel, Inside Scoopop and a part of many of my vacations.
Yeah, she is a real force to be reckoned with.
A powerhouse writer.
She also writes on the primetime Emmys, the Oscars, Murder Mystery.
She's prolific and insanely talented, and I adore her so much.
This was really fun.
So fun.
So glad she came by.
All right.
Please enjoy Molly McNierney.
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He's an object expert.
He's an object expert.
He's an object expert.
I do hot water.
Oh, I love that.
It's like Howard Stern drinks, you know, hot water.
Oh, really?
Yes.
All he drinks. Cut out coffee, tea, everything. Just hot water. It's so sad.
It's a little sad. It's a little sad.
I also like being in his company. Yeah, it's good company.
Hi!
We had a creative difference this morning.
Oh, not really.
It's like only our fourth in six years, so.
Oh, that's not bad. It barely is.
It's a tiny one. Yeah, yeah. It happens. Jimmy and I have those all six years. Oh, that's not bad. It barely is. It's a tiny one.
It happens.
Jimmy and I have those all the time.
Well, yeah.
That's hard. I imagine.
And similarly, we're best friends and we're coworkers.
Right.
That's hard.
Like normally, you can get into it at work.
Like, well, whatever.
Yeah.
Weekend's here.
It'll blow over by Monday.
But no, we're going to the same place on Saturday.
Yeah, right.
You know?
Yeah, it's got to be figured out and maybe it's good because it's like it has to be addressed so in that way maybe it's good but also it's tricky it's good in some ways it's bad
this is what the fucking creative difference is about right right right
oh good i'm excited excited me in the middle of it.
Did you get everything you want to drink?
You want a coffee?
You know what?
I'll have water, actually.
You got water?
They offered it to me.
Oh, thank you.
Perfect.
Let us know if you want us to heat it up.
Oh, yeah.
I was just telling her that Howard Stern just drinks hot water.
That's all he drinks.
Like me.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
He deprives himself of flavor.
You know, we just were interviewing somebody, and they had worked with Howard.
I think
they took his on-air persona a little seriously. Mind you, certainly she worked with him longer
than I've hung out with him. But I was like, you know, I think he's very mindful of not alienating
his audience and that they know he's got $500 million. So the only way he can right-size that
is he has to be miserable everywhere he goes. Interesting. On air, right? Because I'll hear these reports of even vacations he's been on with you.
He's like, and then I had to go to bed and this sucked.
And I'm like, I've been with him.
There's no way that was the case.
He was probably happy as a clam.
And then I think it must be a strategy to never be too unrelatable.
I think there's truth to that.
I also think he is kind of miserable.
Interesting.
Like we were just at his house for his 70th birthday
and the first thing he says is
I can't believe I'm 70 and he's so
upset that he's 70 and he's apologizing
to his wife for being 70
and I don't think he enjoys it.
I was telling Monica, I just wanted to
you're Howard Stern. Look at your life.
Also, you're healthy. You've got a great wife.
You're surrounded by love. It's really
hard when you have friends you feel like you're convincing to be happy.
Yes.
Yes, but then you must ask yourself the question, with contentment and happiness, is he Howard Stern?
Like, what part of it is the fuel for the thing?
Totally.
Because then what's the content?
Yes.
Right.
And then I guess you're making a decision in your life, like, what am I going to prioritize?
And hopefully you'd be healthy and you'd be like, at least at this point, maybe I'm going to prioritize my life.
Absolutely.
And say goodbye to the content or whatever.
But God, I love his content so much.
I hate it when he's miserable.
Yeah.
I will say it's a fluke.
I think it's bad thinking because we have some friends who are very negative and it is not helping them.
Right.
So this idea that it's relatable to me negative, I just want to put a big X through that.
We have our—
I got mad the other day about it.
You did.
Every time you text, if 99% of the time you're going to hear something negative, I can handle that up to a certain extent, but I do snap after a while.
Sure.
That's good, I think.
I think it's healthy to snap at that.
Minimally, it makes you not want to reach out.
Yeah, of think. I think it's healthy to snap at that. Minimally, it makes you not want to reach out. Yeah, of course.
What do you think is one of the negative things you use to motivate yourself?
Because I have a bevy of them.
I never think I'm doing enough.
I'm never doing enough for my career.
I'm never doing enough for my children.
I'm never doing enough for me.
And I constantly am telling myself that.
The most bonded I felt to Lincoln yet was we were laying in bed the other day,
and we were talking about embarrassing moments moments and she loves hearing my embarrassing
moments. She's like, give me another one. What's another thing? And then so I was like, well,
what's some of yours? And she's like, oh, I farted at school and blah, blah, blah. And then I this
and that and I was great. And I go, okay. And then when you do that, do you ever say anything
to yourself in your head? And she goes, oh my God, dad, I say the meanest stuff to myself. And I'm like,
I do too. What do you say? And like, instead of telling her not to do it, I was just like,
I want to hear what your racket is. And I'm like, here's mine. And both of us had really
inappropriate words. One shouldn't say it out loud. To yourself. To ourselves. That's so sad,
but also so great that you can ask her that and she can tell you that.
Yeah, it felt just really bonding.
Like, we're similar.
Yeah.
I beat myself up pretty good.
But then I'm really good at helping other people not beat themselves up.
I'm always telling my friends, you're a terrible friend to yourself.
Why would you speak about yourself that way?
I can see it with everyone else when it comes to me.
No.
Giving advice you need yourself.
Exactly.
I'm really good at that.
I'm so excited that you're here.
Are you nervous?
I am nervous.
I'm not nervous.
You don't seem it.
No, I'm really excited to be here.
As you know, I'm such a fan of this podcast
and such a fan of both of you.
It really is hard for us to believe.
And I say that sincerely.
It's not full modesty.
It's hard to believe people that you know
and are close with.
And respect.
Enormously would really be listening.
Yeah.
No, I listen regularly.
I love all of you. And I feel like I need to just get this out at the beginning because I think this
will help me be less nervous. Dax intimidates me. Yeah. Wait, starting when? Okay. So Dax has been
in my life for I think 13 years. The whole ride. Yeah. I've been with Jimmy for 13 years. I knew
Kristen before you. We were friends and would go on these girls' dinners and love her.
For some reason, Dax intimidates me.
I think I found him more intimidating as I've gotten to know him better.
Wow, that seems counterintuitive.
Right.
I feel, and this is going to sound douchey.
I don't mean it to sound douchey, but I'm using these in context to compliment you.
I'm not starstruck by people.
I just came from Howard Stern's home.
I've had Oprah over for dinner.
I've had Diane Sawyer in my home.
Rihanna in your bed.
Yeah, Rihanna's been in my bed.
I've had an intimate dinner with Paul McCartney.
I've gone to the White House.
None of those things scare me.
You intimidate me.
I find, as you might imagine, almost impossible to believe. And I don't, you intimidate me. I find that, as you might imagine, almost impossible
to believe. And I don't want to intimidate you, yet I'm also very flattered by that for whatever
reason. And I was trying to figure it out. And I was talking to you. I'm like, I don't know what
it is. I really didn't come here just to compliment Dax, okay? I won't allow that to go on for another
five minutes. I'm not here just to blow smoke up Dax's ass. But I think it's because you are an
anomaly of a human.
And I mean this.
I've witnessed you.
We've been on vacation there.
You've been at my home.
You are a guy who drives a giant bus and can fix it,
but then have emotionally in-depth conversations with a little girl.
And then you quote Brene Brown, and then you get on a motorbike.
You bring weights with you on vacation and lift them,
but then you write in your gratitude journal.
It's very confusing to me.
Okay, so maybe it's just the unsettling.
You have to stop.
Be more of a stereotype.
Pick a lane.
I think it's also because you talk to so many people and you know so much.
I think you're incredibly intelligent, both of you, and you're both very emotionally evolved humans.
And so when I'm around you, I almost think like, what could I have to offer or something?
I don't know. And I'm a very around you, I almost think like, what could I have to offer or something? I don't know.
And I'm a very confident person, healthy.
But there's something about you where I go, well, what could we possibly talk about?
So then when Monica emails me like, hey, you should come to the podcast.
I was like, oh, my God, this is my worst nightmare.
Yeah, for backstory, she said, can we chat tomorrow?
And I was like, of course, but I wasn't expecting that.
Can we chat tomorrow?
And I was like, of course, but I wasn't expecting that.
I said to my friend, I said, if she is calling to say she doesn't think she's, quote, worthy of being on this show, I'm going to freak out.
You're going to really let her have it.
Yeah, I'm going to yell at her, which is exactly what happened.
And to be clear, I didn't think you were nervous.
I didn't detect nervousness.
I knew this from Monica, obviously.
I told your secret.
Good. I'm not nervous. Ask me a question I'm not nervous to answer. It's more of, especially
because I hold you guys and this podcast in such high regard, and all the experts are like,
psychologist, pathologist, marine biologist. And then I'm coming on here as a comedy writer and
producer, and I think, wow. Hold on a second, Molly. I got to push back on your story about
yourself. Okay. There have been, since you and I were alive, I'm guessing, but probably seven late night
talk shows that have run for more than five years.
Yes, that sounds about right.
Is that about accurate or maybe even less?
You are a head writer of one of those.
You're in a group of like literally 20 people.
If I interview a TV writer who's run a one hour drama, they're one of several hundred.
True.
And I have done that.
Noah Hawley was here the other day.
Love.
He's doing something more that's dime a dozen than you.
Well, thank you.
I'll take the compliment.
Because we both love Letterman.
Yes.
And revere it.
And I know as a kid, you revered Carson.
Imagine how excited you would be to talk to the head writer of Johnny Carson and ask,
what was that ride like?
What was happening behind the scenes? What were the personalities and the ego dynamics and all
that? You would be dying to hear all that, right? Completely. You're absolutely right.
In fact, I think you know the Letterman writer, don't you?
I kind of know all the writers on the late night shows and have a lot of respect for all of them.
In your world, is there one that you're like, oh, that person was...
Well, I have a lot of respect for Meryl Marco and what she did at Letterman.
I think she's exceptional. But I have
truly respect for any comedy
writer who can succeed. I think comedy
traditionally, and now that we're producing the
Oscars in particular, I think comedy
isn't taken as seriously as drama.
And I think it's just as
hard, if not harder, to make someone laugh. Way harder.
It's way harder. There's no tricks. We can't
add the perfect song or the perfect push-in to get the emotion we want.
Completely.
I have such a respect for comedy writers.
And I'm very grateful for all the ones who came before me, especially the women.
Seeing Tina Fey and Amy Poehler the other night on the Emmys, I was losing my mind because I feel like those women paved the way for a lot of women.
I'm inspired by them as a man and have been from the get.
And they're still so good. That was the thing. They're still the best.
They really are. I didn't want them to go away. I know.
Keep them up there. Don't you think the X factor with them as well is it's like,
A, they are great performers. They are also incredible writers, both of them. But I think
that what trumps all that is that, at least seemingly, they have a total rejection of
worrying about whether men are going to approve.
They seem isolated in the way that Taylor Swift does.
Yeah.
They seem like they created their own orb of matriarchy in a way that just, like, screams power.
It has from the get-go.
And yet they remain very approachable and relatable,
especially then as they became mothers, using that in their comedy
and then the movies they produced. I have such respect for them.
Well, here's a question. So as all these people have cycled through the show,
and again, to your point, you've had all these different people in your house and on your
vacations, but beyond that, you've been there for what now, 15 years? How long have you been there?
I started there midway through season one, 20 years ago, as the assistant to the executive producer.
Okay, so 20 years, let's say 200 shows a year, two guests a night, that's 400 times 20.
I don't know what that is.
You've seen several thousand actors come through.
Yes.
Do you find that you're more intimidated around the women?
No.
Like, do you do well around Tina and Amy?
I do.
It's weird. I'm not that intimidated
by that many people. Right. Just you. Just the one. So now I'm paranoid it's going to wear off.
No, no. I got to add something to the. No, it will never wear off. I'll always hold you in
high regard. I'm going to work on my intimidation because I don't want to be intimidated by you.
I think it works for us. Yeah, I think so. It's working. I think the job has helped me not be intimidated by celebrities.
I just see them as people doing a job.
I tend to be more intimidated by people who write, who do the work behind because I know how hard it is.
I don't know how hard it is to be an actor.
I've never been one.
But when I look at what a writer can do in telling a story and make it work, I'm in awe.
And every time I watch people getting awards, in my heart I and saying, please thank the writer, please thank the writer.
Yes, yes.
Because I just feel like there is no show, there is no movie that you're taking an award for
without that great storytelling.
Okay, this will sound super self-indulgent, but I do think maybe there's something at the bottom
of this. Is it possible, because I have had this, so when I've been in these same circles you've
been in, generally I'm like, well, this person's career is much better than mine.
This person's more famous than I am. This person has more money than me. I'm now looking in my
head. I'm like, but I can fix cars. I'll go to like something I know I can do that helps bolster
my confidence in that situation. So is it possible? And again, this is incredibly self-indulgent,
but is it that generally when you're interacting with these people, you have like a moral core?
Yes, I do.
That you go, yeah, but I'm a real person. And I know it. And these people have a little bit
floated off into the ether.
Definitely.
And then when you meet me, you're like, this dude's still kind of in the dirt.
Yes.
Could that maybe be what's happening?
No, 100%.
Oh, no.
No, I think he might be right.
Because it is.
It's like you feel like a family member to me.
When I watch the way you and Kristen raise your children, I admire you guys so much.
Those kids have a lot but don't know it.
And they come to your house and I fed them multiple times and they just get up, do their dishes.
My kids are looking at your kids like, oh, shit, we should be doing that.
They're fucking up our whole system.
Right.
But there is a real humility in you and Kristen and your kids and the way you do things.
And so you're right.
Maybe that's confusing to me.
Let's go to Missouri.
Okay.
Okay.
1978?
Yes.
Okay.
Now, I've met your parents and I've met your sister.
By the way, shout out to Kelly. She's the best. I am so lucky. I have the greatest sister ever. 1978? Yes. Okay. Now, I've met your parents and I've met your sister. By the way, shout out to Kelly.
She's the best.
I am so lucky.
I have the greatest sister ever.
What a party.
You guys could be like the characters in a coming of age thing.
Yes.
What are mom and dad like?
What is home life like?
Where are you?
Rural, city, suburb?
Suburbs of St. Louis.
Mid to low income family.
Grew up going to Catholic schools, kindergarten through
senior of high school, wore a uniform, super conservative Catholic upbringing. No boys in my
high school, which I love and I credit to this day for the confidence I had to be in a mostly male
dominated writer's room. Interesting because you hadn't developed any of the bad habits.
dominated writer's room.
Interesting, because you hadn't developed any of the bad habits.
I didn't care what boys thought about me.
And I think I really cared about the girls at my school thinking I was nice and funny and talented.
And I ran for student council and won those elections.
And that's all I cared about was female approval.
You and Monica, to me, have some very shared qualities.
Ooh, that's flattering.
You both should be flattered.
You're both dynamic.
You're like, you're a bit type A and pretty on it.
Are you a Virgo?
I'm a Pisces.
She's a virgin.
I was a virgin until 24.
No.
Oh, yeah.
That's the other part of my upbringing.
Wow, that is a crossfire.
Oh, yeah.
I had no idea.
Oh, I was dry humping well through college.
Denim on denim.
Because you weren't supposed to?
I thought it was bad.
You're supposed to save it for marriage.
I also thought alcohol was bad.
I didn't drink until I was 20 years old.
Wow.
I would drive all my friends around high school.
They would all be drunk in my mom's minivan, and I would drive them.
I didn't judge what they were doing, but I was never going to participate in it.
My dad was sober for 30 years.
Well, he's no longer sober.
But he was sober for about 30 years.
Wait, is it working for him? Because I have a fantasy that at like 70, I can start buying
beers. It kind of is. And weirdly, Jimmy encourages it in our home. Oh, God. I had never seen my dad.
The last time I saw my dad drink, I was in second grade. And then he came out to visit me and Jimmy,
and he's like, I'd like to have a beer. I thought he was kidding. Right. And then Jimmy looked at
me like, what do we do? And I said, Dad, you're sober. He's like, no, I drink a beer every now and then now.
And he did. And I never saw him get drunk. And Jimmy's like, I don't think he was ever an
alcohol. Like, oh, you would know. I've just learned of this through my therapist,
that there are many people who have had long-term sobriety and then in their older life have.
That's an anthem in AA.
That's supposed to not exist.
So I've just like kind of been, I'm like, it's a terrifying thing.
Like maybe you can try it at 75.
Don't dip your toe in the ice next week.
He's like, I'm turning 50 soon, so I should try it again.
I'm not building a case for myself to do it.
I'm just saying that I was kind of given a singular view of how it works.
It's been pointed out to me that some people do.
Okay, well, it might be working for my dad.
I don't know.
I grew up, he was sober.
He would read from the AA book at night.
So he went to meetings?
Yes, I went to Al-Anon as a kid.
Oh, wow.
Oh, yeah.
So you remember when he was not sober?
I remember witnessing him drunk when I was in first or second grade.
And I remember my mom calling the police on him because he was trying to leave the house driving.
And I remember watching the police come talk my dad into not driving.
And that was very scarring.
Shortly after that, he started going to meetings.
Then he was very, very into AA to the point where I found it a little annoying.
I remember in college being in love for the first time
and my dad meeting the parents.
And I was so excited for him to meet the parents.
And he put out his hand.
He was like, Mike McNerney, sober for 20 years.
I was like, why?
Why?
I just remember like, stop it.
Like he just loved to talk about his sobriety.
And I found it so annoying.
Why haven't you and I bonded over this?
Because you know, my dad was sober too.
Yes.
I too had to go to Alateen.
Oh, yeah.
I went to Alateen.
And then I was like, this isn't for me.
I'd rather be with other people.
So then I would go to Amy, and he's like, I never drank.
But I wonder, so some of it was this Catholic thing.
Maybe the virginity.
Was some of it driven by a fear that you, too, would be an addict?
Yeah, I think I thought it could be in my genetics.
If he could do it, I could do it. I was very afraid of it. I remember my dad saying, an alcoholic is when you get drunk,
you make mistakes, and then you want to do it again. And you change the way you behave
so dramatically that you're not yourself anymore. And I was very afraid of doing that.
My very first drink was in college. It was a raspberry Stolian 7 that my brother
bought me. We both went to University of Kansas. And I drank it. And then a couple hours later,
I was feeling a little warm. And then it was at that moment I realized it was my dad's birthday.
It was March 9th. And I was like, wait, I just got drunk for the first time on dad's birthday.
And then I didn't drink again for like three months.
You felt shame?
Yeah, I'm heading down that thing.
So you were really susceptible to feeling bad and beating yourself up.
Where do you think that comes from?
Is it genetic?
I would say it's my upbringing.
My dad scared me so much.
Alcohol and sex.
Oh God, my parents both would try to talk to me about sex all the time.
They went to drive me to college.
Now keep in mind, I'm still a virgin going to college.
Driving from St. Louis to University of Kansas.
My dad is driving. My mom is behind in the U-Haul. My dad says to me,
now, you know, Molly, I'd like to talk to you about boys and sex in college. And I'm rolling
my eyes. And he said, you know, boys are going to try to get sex from you and save it, save it for
someone you love and save it for marriage if you can. I was like, of course. We pull over now,
bathroom break, switch drivers. My mom's driving with me.
And she says, you know, Molly, you're going to college.
I want to talk to you about sex.
You've got to be kidding me.
I've heard this twice.
I've already heard this song.
Yeah, I've already heard it.
So I think it came from guilt.
I don't know if it's Catholic guilt or just the way my parents raised me that stay away from these things.
They can be dangerous.
And so I did very successfully stay away from that.
And was their baseline fear level
just a bit high about life in general? No, not worriers at all. I had a broken arm for six days
as a kid. My parents never took me to the hospital. Well, that could be laziness coupled with. Yeah,
probably also laziness or finances. But they were not worriers by nature, never locked our doors.
They weren't scared of other things. It was those two. I was dry humping and I had a serious
boyfriend. I finally had sex for the first time. I'd graduated college, moved to Chicago for a
couple of years, then moved to LA and had sex for the first time as a 24-year-old woman.
And with a boyfriend?
Oh, of course.
Okay. Well, sometimes it goes the opposite way. You're waiting, waiting, waiting. You're with this person.
You drive them insane.
You break up.
And then you have fucking a rando.
This was a boyfriend.
It was to a Nora Jones CD.
Oh, beautiful.
What song?
We love her.
We were listening to the whole album.
Sunrise.
By the way, it wasn't even the first Nora Jones album.
It was the second Nora Jones album.
That's how long.
I didn't come.
I used to come in my den now.
Don't do that to her. Oh my God. Wait, when you had sex with him, did you feel like, well,
I guess I have to marry him? I thought for sure I was going to marry him. So let's have sex.
And you did. That was Jimmy. Yeah. No, I did not. I did not marry him. I'm very glad I did not.
Dated a few other people and then had a lot of fun dating. And then I was just like, this did not. I did not marry him. I'm very glad I did not. Dated a few other people and then had a lot of fun dating.
And then I was just like, this is great.
Where have I been?
This is ridiculous.
I've been hiding from all this.
Enjoyed my life for many years, dating, casual sex.
Sure.
And isn't that funny that I even said that?
I was like, ooh, casual sex.
I know, you're like scared to say it.
I really was.
I noticed me looking like, whoops.
That's so sad.
It's even the PG version of fucking like casual sex. Couldn't say it. Couldn't say. I noticed me looking like, whoops. That's so sad. It's even the PG version of fucking casual sex.
Couldn't say it.
Couldn't say one night stand.
Oh, God, no.
But I did have a few of those.
And yeah, then had a great, healthy, fun dating life.
And then, I'm sorry, I don't want to take over your interview.
I was just going on.
What are you talking about?
This is exactly how it works.
So then I dated a lot of different people.
I hit the improv community in LA.
Met a lot of guys there.
They move fast and loose in that circle.
Oh, yeah.
Wait, what was your circle?
UCB?
I did Second City in Chicago.
I graduated from there.
Then came out here, did Improv Olympic for several years.
I.O., as they say.
Oh, yes.
I.O. West.
Yep.
And one time was dating a guy who I broke up with, and I swear to God, he did scene work when I broke up with him.
So I break up with him. We'd been dating for a little work when I broke up with him. So I break up with him.
We've been dating for a little while.
I said, hey, I don't really see this working.
I'm really sorry.
And then he put up his hands like a window,
like he couldn't hear me.
What?
Yeah.
And then said like, knock, knock.
And like rolled the window down.
What'd you say?
And then I started to break up with him again
and he rolled the window up.
No, no, no.
I swear to God.
I don't know if he's a genius or psychotic.
No, maybe a little of both.
That's the cringiest thing I've ever heard.
Breaking up with an improviser, and he's doing scene work.
Space work.
Space work, yep.
Ew.
Yeah, that was rough.
He took out earplugs and put them in.
And he thought maybe that would make him hot again.
Yeah, I think so.
I think he was hoping that would work.
I'd pay a fortune to see a closed circuit recording of that.
Me too.
Oh, boy.
Okay, but before we are at I-O and before we're at Second City, we're back in Missouri.
How do you say Missouri?
Missouri.
I hate Missouri.
But people do say Missouri, right?
Yeah, in some parts.
Monica hates it too because sometimes I do it and I say it's placating, pandering.
I just hate it.
You just hate it too.
Because it's just not right. No, it's not right. And you know it's notating, pandering. I just hate it. You just hate it too. Because it's just not right.
No, it's not right.
And you know it's not right.
There's an I at the end.
It's one thing if you just don't know and you're messing up, but when you know.
No, no.
It's not you.
The general you.
You included.
Okay.
The ambiguous you.
The informal you.
Yeah.
Do you say Appalachia or Appalachia?
Appalachia.
But see, don't you think when they tell you how they want you to say it, like we said
Oregon growing up in Michigan, but then I learned it's Oregon.
Everyone in Michigan says Oregon, the Oregon Trail.
How do you say the state Las Vegas is in?
Oh, Nevada.
Is that correct or incorrect?
Yeah, that's correct.
According to Jimmy.
I've said Nevada and Jimmy, yeah.
And now every time I say it, I think of the word dad and I'm like, Nevada,
because he has corrected me so many times. It's hugely important. Very.
Okay. So one question of mine was answered, which is my hunch was you were popular because you're a social butterfly. You're so very assertive. I was popular. I was nice. I remember the boys
in grade school saying I was the nicest girl in the class. And I took that as an insult a little bit. Even then. I was like, oh, that's just, you don't want
to touch me. You know what I mean? Like, oh, you're the nicest girl in the class. It's not
the girl you're trying to get with. Not that I wanted to, because I was terrified, but I wanted
to be seen as anything but nice. And then in high school, I was funny. And then in college,
I feel like boys started actually looking at me in a sexual way.
Did you have any class clown in you or were you pretty well behaved in class? Rule follower.
You know, I like to have an impression of the gym coach in front of the school.
I had my little funny moments, but I was a very much rule follower, good student.
And you went to Kansas State, whatever you call it, Kansas City.
KU.
Okay.
I'm so sorry.
Totally different.
That's where Eric Stonestreet went, K-State.? Kansas City? KU. Lawrence, Kansas. I'm so sorry. Totally different. Okay.
That's where Eric Stonestreet went.
K-State.
Oh, really?
Fun fact.
Kansas University.
KU. He doesn't understand when you mess up colleges, it can hurt.
I know.
Yes, of course.
Sometimes it can really hurt.
The reason I was confused, and I blame Kansas, the city.
Kansas City's in Missouri, and it's in Kansas.
It's so confusing.
So I just went, well, she's from Missouri.
She went to Kansas. That has to confusing. So I just went, well, she's from Missouri. She went to Kansas.
That has to be fucking, I don't know.
I was University of Kansas in Lawrence, four hours outside of St. Louis.
Journalism major because they had one of the best journalism programs in the country.
Yeah.
So you were going to be Diane Sawyer.
All I wanted to be was Diane Sawyer.
What a bombshell.
Oh, what a bombshell. When I was a kid, I wanted to be Diane Sawyer.
I used to go around my neighborhood with a camcorder and pretend.
And I'd be like, I'm Diane Sawyer.
And I'd give, like, reports on the neighborhood.
And now cut to 30 years later or something.
I'm dating Jimmy at the time.
We're at his house.
And he says, Diane Sawyer is coming over for dinner.
And I couldn't believe it.
I answered the door.
I said, hi, can I get you something to drink? And on the other side, she was, do you have a bathtub full of vodka?
Oh, I was in love. Oh, my God. She was everything you want. She was the daughter of an
alcoholic. It's all I wanted. But then I really wanted to be a journalism major. That's all I
wanted to do. To me, the dream job would be working for like KSDK, I think it was, in St. Louis,
NBC local news. That's all I could ever ask for. By the way, you would have worked for Kristen's
father. Oh my gosh. Do you know this? He was a news director in St. Louis and maybe even that
channel. Oh, I should have done it all differently. I do an internship in St. Louis at this local
news channel. I shadow this woman all day. I cannot for the life of me remember her name.
I could look it up. She's a blonde woman. I go out on a couple shoots with her. I'm in the van
all day. I'm like, wow, this is a dream. This is all I want. This
is going to be my future. Day ends. I follow her back to her dressing room. I said, thank you so
much for letting me shadow you. This was the best day of my life. I have so much respect for
everything you do. And she was, you don't want this job. And I thought she was kidding. And she
said, no, this is the worst job ever. She said, you want to get all dressed up and read a teleprompter
all day? That's what you want for your life? I'm like, yes, maybe. I don't know.
I thought I did.
And then I changed my career path that next semester.
I said, forget it.
I'm going to do advertising and I'm going to write creative.
And then my dream job was to work for like Leo Burnett and write a Coke commercial.
But you know what's so interesting is at first glance, I'm like, what a terrible thing for
that woman to do.
And then I go, well, I'm really glad she did that.
These things that you think would be implicitly right or wrong are not.
You just end up somewhere and you're either delighted you did or you didn't.
But weirdly, I'm grateful that you were so accepting of her advice.
I am grateful I was.
I'm very impressionable.
I will get a bad haircut anytime because if I go in and someone goes, you should have bangs.
I'm like, well, they know more than I do. And so I'll have bangs now. I trust if people are an expert in
their industry, then they definitely know more. This woman had been doing this. She looked at me
and said, don't do it. Similarly, on the opposite way, when I was in third grade, a teacher said to
me, you're a really good writer. You're going to be a writer. And I believed it. What was that
teacher's name? Let's shout them out. That was Mrs. Cooper. God bless her. Best teacher ever.
And she went to my parents
and said,
your daughter's a good writer
and she's going to be a good writer.
And that's all it took
was someone telling me that.
Mine was Larry LeClaire,
seventh grade.
Oh, I love Larry.
What did he tell you?
You're an incredible writer.
I'm going to put this thing
you wrote in our annual,
they put out a magazine,
you know,
like a shitty,
Monica's seen it.
It's paper.
It was Xeroxed.
It was like the Muir
or whatever the fuck it was called. And he put one of my stories in it. And I think from that moment on, like a shitty, Monica's seen it. It's paper. It was Xeroxed. It was like the Muir or whatever the fuck it was called.
And he put one of my stories in it.
And I think from that moment on, I was like,
oh, I can build an identity around this.
But didn't he also put you in the math?
That was Mr. Wood.
The weight of people's words with children is so important.
But here's the thing.
Do you find with your kids, so that being my past,
and my parents always believed in me.
My dad told me on a regular basis,
you could be president of the United States. And I believed it. me on a regular basis, you could be president of the United States.
And I believed it.
He still thinks I'm going to be the president of the United States.
He's holding out.
You might.
Well, give him the competition.
I do too.
Yeah, right.
Hey, guys, anything's possible.
But I do think that just telling kids things helps them believe it.
It becomes a reality.
But do you ever worry about doing it too much?
Because I find I'm constantly complimenting my kids.
Like, oh, you're so good at that.
You're so good at that.
And I'm like, wait, am I telling them they're good at everything?
And now are they going to be annoying and obnoxious?
I have a policy.
And it's already evident in the story you and I both told.
You already wrote something that your third grade teacher read.
I had written something Larry LeClaire read.
I think a lot of people tell their kids you're great at shit they haven't even demonstrated they're
good at. So I think it's like you have to provide
them with an opportunity to demonstrate
that they're great at something. And then when they are,
I think you lay it on thick.
I think it also depends. A compliment
from a non-parent
for me meant so much more.
Any compliment from a parent, I just
didn't even hear. Isn't that sad, though?
As a parent, it's hard. Yeah, as a parent, I'm like't even hear. Isn't that sad, though? As a parent, it's hard.
Yeah, as a parent, I'm like, I know her better than anyone.
My compliment should mean something.
It feels good to me because I'm not a parent and I can just hand out compliments.
Yeah, but I'm like dealing with all the temper tantrums and the bullshit.
I feel like I've earned that.
But yeah, I think it's greatly reduced.
Unless I think I'm doing my research last night for Rob Reiner and his father did the thing he wanted to
do. So that compliment for him was very, very powerful. And wanting that approval was very,
very powerful. So I also think it's like if you yourself do something that they actually
have identified as something impressive, then I think it's relevant. I agree with that.
Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, if you dare.
Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, if you dare.
Sasha hated sand, the way it stuck to things for weeks.
So when Maddie shared a surf trip on Expedia Trip Planner, he hesitated.
Then he added a hotel with a cliffside pool to the plan.
And they both spent the week in the water.
You were made to follow your whims.
We were made to help find a place on the beach with a pool and a waterfall and a soaking tub and, of course, a great shower.
Expedia. Made to travel.
So, you switch. You decide you're going to be in marketing. Which which funny enough, you know, we just interviewed Lil Dicky.
I love Lil Dicky.
Dave Byrd.
That is one of the best shows ever.
I'm so excited for Monica.
She hasn't watched it.
Oh, I'm so jealous you get to watch all that.
It's fantastic.
I'd give anything to erase my memory and do it all over again.
That and Breaking Bad, take me back.
Take me back.
But he was working similar to you as well.
He's like, well, marketing's creative and safe.
Completely.
Because when you're a kid in St. Louis, you don't know that's a possibility.
I remember when I was, I would say about my daughter's age, like eight, nine years old,
and I'd pretend to do commercials. My mom would make me cereal, and then I would pour the cereal in the bowl, and I'd hold
it up and pretend, and I'd do little commercials. And then I remember her saying to me,
do you want to be an actor? And I didn't even think that was a possibility. And I remember
feeling stupid saying, maybe, you know, like, yeah, is that a dumb thing to say? And I said,
yeah, I think so. And then this is a really messed up thing she did. And I love my mom.
We have a great relationship. She said, now, now you know if you were to be a good actor,
you'd have to pretend that someone else is your mother.
Oh, boy.
Yeah.
And I said, well, yeah, I know.
I know how acting works.
And she said, would you be comfortable saying to another woman,
I love you, mom?
This gets so personal for her.
Yeah.
And then I said, and I remember thinking, yes, I could easily do that.
But I said, no, of course not.
I couldn't do that.
And then that's kind of where the acting dream died.
Oh, my God.
You've been diverted in so many directions in your life.
You could have been so many things.
Yeah, a lot of people talking me out of stuff.
Talking me out of my dreams.
But I agree with you.
In a suburb of Detroit in Michigan, weirdly, I thought it was more probable I could be the president than an actor.
Absolutely.
There's a path you take. It's kind of laid out.
And I think kids need to see and know local stories.
I'm really grateful John Hamm is from St. Louis because people now know, oh, maybe it's possible for me.
And Ellie Kemper is from St. Louis. Nellie's from St. Louis.
Molly's from St. Louis.
Molly's from St. Louis. But I think it's important that we celebrate the local stories so kids see themselves. I remember I loved Johnny
Carson so much and I watched it every night. It never even occurred to me people were writing
that. I thought like, oh, that's just a guy. You say your mother too still refuses to accept that
Jimmy's not just coming up with everything? Oh, yes. It's like, oh, he was so great. That
thing he said and that thing he did. I'm like, yeah, I know. I wrote it. Who says that?
Her mom still is under the illusion as she was watching Carson.
Like, oh, he's just off the dome.
Yeah.
I also love when people, like, the thing about writing for a late night show is that everyone thinks they've got an anecdote for you that makes sense.
Like, oh, you know, they'll tell you a crazy story about their dishwasher breaking.
Like, you got to put that on the show.
No, I don't.
No, I don't. No, I don't.
Yeah, I've heard a lot of movie ideas over the years.
Oh, I bet.
Yeah, sometimes it's like,
have you thought about having Julia Roberts on?
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Never thought of it.
Well, that's a good idea.
Definitely haven't.
We had been saying no to her,
but now I think we might say yes.
We're going to bump Molly.
We're going to bring in Julia.
I sometimes respond to the people that are like,
please get so-and-so on. I'm like, we've going to bump Molly. We're going to bring in Julia. I sometimes respond to the people that are like, please get so-and-so on.
I'm like, we've invited them a hundred.
Yeah, like, can you get them on for us?
This person on?
Of course we are.
That's all you're doing.
Yeah.
Literally all we're doing.
So you actually find employment, though, in the advertising business.
I worked in ad sales in Chicago.
I love Chicago.
I moved there after college.
It was in ad sales, which still wasn love Chicago. I moved there after college. It was an ad sales,
which still wasn't in the creative part, right? But man, it was easy and lucrative. And I got
to work like three hours a day and had an expense account. Oh, baby. So exciting. To be young and
have an expense account. What could be hotter than that? The best. And I worked for a music
label or for Interscope Records. And so I got to go to all these concerts and just take clients
to concerts.
A.K.A. friends.
Yeah, exactly.
Exactly.
One client, six friends.
But it wasn't creative enough for me and I wasn't happy with it.
Were you doing Second City then while you had that job?
Yes, I discovered Second City while I had that job. Even in Chicago, I thought, okay,
I like performing. I like writing. I like doing all this, but I got to get into Leo Burnett and write Coke commercials. That's the only way I thought that could translate.
And then Interscope moved me to Los Angeles to do sales out here.
And while doing that, again, great job, making great money.
A friend of a friend said, there's a job opening at Jimmy Kimmel Live to be an assistant to
the executive producer.
I'd never seen Jimmy Kimmel Live. I had no idea what an assistant to an executive producer did, but I knew it was in
the industry and could maybe get me closer to comedy. In the meantime, I'm doing improv classes
out in LA and making great friends who are all really funny people. And I interviewed Jimmy Kimmel
Live. This was pre-DVR. I tried to stay up to watch the show the night before, and I fell asleep.
I remember like, I gotta watch the show.
I gotta know what I'm doing.
And I woke up to the credits.
I was like, oh, no.
Went in for the job interview.
Got it.
Naomi Scott, Adam Scott's wife, she interviewed me.
Yeah, she was the existing executive producer assistant.
She was finding a replacement for herself.
Yeah, so I got the job as the assistant to the executive producer, and I loved it.
This was just a huge quote step down. Yeah, I was making about a third of the money I was making. I was working about five times the hours. This is when Jimmy Kimmel Live
was actually live. So we would shoot the show from 9 to 10 p.m. Monday through Friday. It was
the longest work day ever. I lived in Hermosa Beach. I would drive to Hollywood. I had an hour commute.
I had to be at my desk at 9 a.m.
and I would leave at 11 p.m.
It was terrible, but I loved it.
I was so happy to be a part of this live show.
I loved watching people come up with ideas
and then they were on the air that night.
It was incredible.
Yeah, you know, it's funny.
I have a great friend, Andrew Panay.
He's a producer.
He's done a bunch of movies. We've done a bunch together. He went into know, it's funny. I have a great friend, Andrew Panay. He's a producer. He's done a bunch of movies.
We've done a bunch together.
He went into marketing and he's like, I find this so much more rewarding because I'm pitching
an idea on a Monday.
Three weeks later, we're shooting it.
I see it on television and there's something so rewarding about the instant gratification
of it.
It's really great.
Back to Second City, though.
Did you have any folks in the program at that time that ended up being?
Yes.
I remember a young Bill Hader.
No way.
I remember watching Bill Hader and thinking, that guy is incredible.
Jack McBrayer.
Sweet Jack McBrayer.
I watched some of these guys at IOWest and thought they have something special, I hope.
And I remember thinking, I bet I
could try to get them on Jimmy Kimmel Live. I used to take a lot of improvisers and put them in bits.
There's so many great comedy actors who've come out of improv, as you know.
Don't you love, because I have that with the Groundlings. I was in the program with so many
people for years, and then I watched them pop up at different times. And there's something
that feels so special about being connected to it in the most beautiful and sincere way, which is when you've seen the innocent beginning and it pays off.
You've been in bad scenes with these people.
Yes, yes.
You've seen them tank and then you watch them grow.
It's fantastic.
I find that community very encouraging, the improv community.
It is, yeah.
It's such a shared experience.
Like you all live or you all die together.
Yeah.
Okay, great.
This is one of my questions about the mechanics and how the sausage of the show is made. I wonder with you
in the writer's room and how you guys all work, how are you policing yourself or evaluating if
it's esoteric and inside and for each other or if it's for America? That's a great question. And I
will say it's difficult if we have a writer or someone on the staff in a bit. So like a lot of
times we'll cast people at the show and stuff and it gets a huge laugh for rehearsal. And we have to
say, is that just because we all know Becky? Or is that because that's actually funny? So I find
it's probably better to cast people and things that are not within the walls because I think
we look at it a little more objectively. But in terms of the way the process works, do you want
to hear like how it goes? Okay. So around five o'clock in the morning the way the process works, do you want to hear like how it
goes? Okay. So around five o'clock in the morning, one guy wakes up, a writer assistant, and he combs
the internet for what the stories of the day are. Those are in our inbox. They go to head writer and
we then edit them. So by 7 a.m. every day, all of our 19 writers have an email that says, here are
the top stories of the day that we're going to focus our monologue on. You're not limited to those. Please don't be. Like we prefer if someone goes, I've got this
interesting observation about something that's not in the daily news. But primarily our monologue is
based on what has happened today, what people are talking about at home. We have an 8.50 a.m.
deadline. So you read all these headlines and stories, and then you write a couple pages of jokes and bit ideas.
So bit ideas are the things that are like fake commercials or a man-on-the-street bit, a pre-tape with a celebrity.
Jimmy gets about 50 pages by 9.30 a.m.
How many staff writers are doing this?
19.
The 5 a.m. person.
Shout out to Nick.
What up, Nick?
Big shout out.
Big props.
How many stories does he give before it
gets whittled down? He'll give about 11 to 12 stories. We narrow it down to about six to eight
stories, I would say. Okay, great. So the 19 writers get six to eight stories. Then they
write two pages on that. And now Jimmy gets a thick 50-page document. He whittles it down to
about five pages. That's sent to us by 10 a.m. So now we have a pretty clear understanding of what our monologue is going to be.
Then we all start writing more jokes.
So we'll say like, here are the topics.
Here are the ones we still need better jokes on.
This bit could use some work.
This is what I love about late night television.
You can be in your bed in your pajamas writing a bit and then you get an email.
And by 10 a.m., you've got a director, a producer, a graphics guy.
You're making wardrobe choices. You're piecing this thing together.
Oh, the pace is so awesome.
You're writing it. You're rewriting it. You're having the head writers punch up on it.
Then Jimmy always does a punch up. And then you shoot it. You edit it. You are oftentimes
racing it to air our shows at 4.30. By the time you've been assigned to, you're going to do this
bit, it's 10
a.m and hopefully it gets approved and it's ready for air by 4 p.m so it's been filmed edited
everything scored yes it is what a pace it's incredible it's insane it's interesting though
because the victory of getting that is so great but if it tanks oh it hurts because you work so
fucking hard you spent your whole day.
You haven't eaten. You're like, did I even drink water today? But the other side of it is that
those failures are very short-lived because time to go tomorrow. Got to do it again. And I will say
it's changed significantly late night, at least for us in the last few years, because I think of
the 24-hour news cycle, things are moving so quickly. And particularly when Trump was president,
he would say something outlandish at 3 p.m. Oftentimes, we scrapped our monologue and
rewrote it entirely. A couple instances were like January 6th. I remember watching that go down.
We had already written that 9 a.m. deadline had already happened, right? So all the January 6th
stuff was unfolding later in the day. We're piecing this monologue together and we just said, hold on, just stop because this whole thing is about to change. And then we're rewriting the whole thing and getting it to air several hours later. Same with Charlottesville when he said the very fine people on both sides. That happened, I think, around two or three in the afternoon. We just ripped up the monologue and started over.
Wow. two or three in the afternoon. We just ripped up the monologue and started over. So there's a lot of other people are determining how you work that day.
Things that they say, things they do.
Then you have days that are too dark and too depressing.
There's been a school shooting and that's all anyone's talking about in the news.
Like, what are we supposed to be talking about for 15 minutes tonight?
We wrestle with this a little bit.
Is it insane to not acknowledge something versus is it our job to acknowledge that thing?
I think it's very hard.
And I find that a lot of times I think, how are we not talking about this thing right now?
But if you talk about everything, nothing matters anymore.
I think you have to find the things that are really meaningful for you, particularly for Jimmy and I.
It was after our son was born.
We can get into that next.
I know.
I'm sorry.
I'm thinking like a producer. I'm like, how's this going to end? When our son was born
with a heart condition, that became very important to us, healthcare for children and healthcare for
everyone. And that happened to be going on while Affordable Care Act was on the chopping block.
We used our voice there. We've used it for universal gun laws. We've used it a little
for women's reproductive rights. But if you take on every cause, it for universal gun laws. We've used it a little for women's reproductive rights.
But if you take on every cause, it just dilutes it.
A thousand percent.
You really have to pick your battles.
I'd imagine, too, you also have to remind yourself what you do.
I fall back on, I credit Stern in many ways to being brave and not talking about Trump
and getting a lot of heat for not doing so.
And having the position of like, you can
hear about Trump anywhere.
You deserve a break from Trump.
That's what this show is.
I have that opinion a lot about this show, which is I'm trying to talk about trauma in
your childhood.
That's my mission.
Ezra Klein's mission is to tell you about Israel.
I think that's one of the reasons I'm drawn to your podcast is because it is an escape
from that.
We need a fucking break.
Absolutely.
So yeah, you guys are really like
walking this precarious tightrope
of you do do topical stuff.
Right.
The goal of Late Night,
the monologue is for a host to feel like
it's like you're talking to a friend
about the day and what happened today.
When Trump is dominating the news cycle,
that's all that's being ingested all day.
And then our job is to talk about the stuff
that's being talked about, but it is just like a never-ending cycle. The other element for us is,
Jimmy always says, I don't want to normalize the behaviors of things going on right now,
both sides. So it's like, if people are leaning towards dictatorship or leaning towards everyone
needs to be canceled or whatever, we can't normalize these behaviors. And so if we are not
talking about these things, then they just become part of our life. It's just all seeping in slowly.
I appreciate that because it's actually quite misleading. The tail has been wagging the dog
in that those two viewpoints you just illustrated are really 5% marginal viewpoints that somehow
drive the entire narrative of all the mainstream. And so, yeah, you do have some, I think, obligation to not be reporting
on what the 4% of the country actually thinks about.
It's hard to know, though.
It's hard to delineate.
It is really hard.
And especially when you turn on the TV
and that's all that's on the TV.
It's so interesting how dramatically
our monologues have changed.
I remember for two or three years,
it was like American Idol
was our number one news
story every night. That's what we talked about. We never talked about politics. We poked fun at
George Bush a little bit. We made fun of Obama's mom jeans. That was it. Everything shifted in the
last five, six years. I know. And there's this call to constantly get into it. But I also think
you actually have to fight back from it.
You have to keep it proportional.
It's hard.
It's funny because, Jimmy, we're always at this balance.
Like we have to talk about this.
And also it's like, guys, is there anything else to talk about?
It's like we say both of those things every week.
It's confusing.
I forget what TV show I was watching, but it's an English show.
And the person said, this season of America is boring.
They were talking about my first two years of Biden being around.
I was like, yeah, I wish I could be enjoying it from the outside. Because yeah, it's like it's
turned into a reality show and this year's boring or whatever. The season's boring.
That's funny.
So I think people would be similarly misled as I was. And of course, egocentrically,
I thought the guests were a really big deal. But I think I've talked to Jimmy enough times
where he said like, the guests really are the second.
The show's the monologue.
Could you, like, explain that to us?
Well, yeah, the monologue is the highest rated portion of the show.
That surprised me.
I'm embarrassed to say that.
Yeah, that's all right.
It also could be the fact that it's the first part of the show and people are starting to fall asleep.
But people do also the online numbers is the monologue.
It's incredible.
Now our monologues get millions of views the next day.
People really want to hear his perspective on things, which is great.
The guests are fantastic.
They are important.
The thing we always try to do is make their interviews a little more interesting where
and if we can.
You guys know some guests are great.
Some you need a little help with.
I've found that the guests that are open to doing stuff are always more interesting if they need it. A lot of times, Jamie goes, like, Dax is a guy you don't need to
pitch a bit for. Jason Bateman, you don't need to pitch a bit for. They don't need our help. They
can tell a story better than anybody, but there are a lot of guests that do need it, and also
viewers want it. They want to see them doing something different besides Q&A.
I think that's what Phelan's been really, really smart about.
He somehow gets them all to do the most insane things.
Yes, for sure.
Our big viral video, when was it?
15 years ago?
The fucking Matt Damon video really changed the way you get excited when I said Matt Damon.
A little bit.
Just a little.
And fuck.
Yeah.
A lot of words I liked in one sentence.
But when that video went viral, which I hate when people say that now, because by the way, every publicist now will say like, my so-and-so guest zone, we'd like a fun viral video.
It's like, that's not, you can't just make a viral video.
My client wants to win the lottery on Wednesday.
But that really, I think, got us in a space for doing more interesting things with guests.
And people trust us to now make these funny videos. Well, Jimmy hated this when I insisted on him acknowledging this,
is that very much like Dave had invented some staples in late night,
you know, crazy pet tricks and these letters and the top 10.
You guys did that too.
The notion of the viral video emanating from a late night show didn't exist yet.
Yeah, I guess you're right.
And it's been regularly copied.
So it's like you guys invented a thing
that will probably stay with this format forever
or as long as it lasts.
So how do we get from assistant?
Oh, okay.
Can I ask one more question
about how the sausage is made first?
Absolutely.
It's just the button I want to put on the
trying to police yourself
and know what is going to be inside baseball and not.
My other curiosity is like,
how do you even evaluate it? Because I have been to that show now. I have to imagine I've been on
20 times. I think you have. The audiences vary. It's not happening in a vacuum. Someone was a
guest on January 6th. Those real life humans were watching their capital get stormed and overtaken.
And then now they're sitting down and hearing Jon Hamm's story. To say that the audiences are objective or that they are neutral is not true. They vary greatly.
Is it a Friday you're there? Is it Monday? Is it the day before tax day? The live audience is
highly subjective and variable. And then you can't really watch TV and tell all that well.
So I'm even curious how you guys know when they're great or they're not.
That's a really good question because first I'd say,
oh, you can feel it in the room,
but there are oftentimes
you get a bad audience.
Exactly.
I've left there thinking
I shit the bed this time
and then I'll watch it
with Kristen on the DVR
and she's like,
wow, that was one of your best.
Yeah, because sometimes
you have an audience
that is there to see you.
So we'll have 30
Dax Shepard fans
in the audience
and literally
just following you.
Then there are other nights
that it's a bunch of people
on vacation
on Hollywood Boulevard
and we pull them out
of the Wetzel's Pretzels.
Half of them are Germans.
Yeah, exactly.
The studio audience
is not as telling,
I think, sometimes.
And oftentimes,
especially when you have
international audiences,
might not understand
a local joke
if that is brutal.
I hate to say the internet
kind of is the judge, but I do think when things do well online.
Because you can track the views. That seems like a very good barometer.
Right. And, you know, there are bits we love. We're like, no one's watching this online.
Like, you separate them out. It's like, no one's watching that one. And then you're surprised
sometimes with the one people are drawn to. And so you try to repeat those more. It's a science.
How are you even here today?
I'm not.
I'm at the doctor.
I feel bad we took it.
I mean, well, I'm going back and forth right now between Jimmy Kimmel Live and the Oscars offices right now.
I'm more now in Oscar production.
I've not stepped away.
I'm still at Jimmy Kimmel Live, but definitely part-time right now while I'm producing the Oscars.
Too much.
Okay, no, I'm sorry.
I had interrupted. I'm producing the Oscars. Too much. Okay, no, I'm sorry. I had interrupted.
I just have so many questions.
How do you have a family when you're a staff writer there?
That seems impossible.
I think it actually is kind of impossible.
I'll be honest with you.
I think it's why there are not a ton of mothers in a writer's room.
I think it is a very challenging job in a late-night writer's room.
I'm one of two moms in the room, but we have a lot of dads in the
room. I think it's very difficult to balance it for sure. The schedule you just laid out.
Then you had to squeeze this in. Now I feel really bad we invited you.
I know, that's what I'm saying. No, are you kidding? I'm so happy to be here. And by the way,
I'm totally relaxed and I'm not nervous anymore. I just want you to know that.
It is definitely a grind.
Like the morning routine with kids is tough because I find myself, you know, I'm looking at the news, but I'm also trying to pack their lunches and be present with them.
And sometimes I feel like when I'm really good at my job, I'm not good at being a mom and vice versa.
You need those glasses that spell our dystopian future where you're looking at all the news feeds, but staring at your kids.
That was part of that Apple commercial.
I'm like, this is a positive?
Right.
This seems terrible.
Make eye contact.
Yeah, Monica's a great question.
How does one start getting coffee and then end up as the head writer?
Okay, so I was executive producer's assistant.
I immediately knew, oh, I want to be in that writer's room.
Steve O'Donnell was the head writer at the time.
He's the guy who created the top 10 list at Letterman.
Brilliant writer.
He was the head writer. Sweet time. He's the guy who created the top 10 list at Letterman. Brilliant writer. He was the head writer.
Sweet man.
Also Irish.
Also Catholic.
I went to him one day and I said, I really would love to be in your writer's room someday.
As an assistant, whatever, just someday.
On the custodial staff.
Yeah, I would do anything.
And about six months later, the executive producer left the show.
I thought, oh, I'm done.
But they kept me there.
The one you had been assisting.
Yes, the one I'd been assisting, Daniel Kellison.
Because he wasn't at any of his appointments
and his whole schedule was full.
Right, right.
He was doing podcasts in the middle of the day.
Right, totally.
So he left.
Then they moved me into the segment department.
The segment department are the ones
that do all the interviews.
They each are assigned to a guest to research and produce.
Shout out Josh.
Shout out Josh.
He's always my guy.
He's so good.
He's so fucking good.
I was just thinking this morning, I was like, Josh gives me a phone call.
I don't know what I'm going to talk about.
And he can steer me into all these stories I didn't know.
I'm like, he should have a podcast.
He's great.
Yeah, he's incredible.
He's really good.
I appreciate that shout out, by the way.
It's nice when people appreciate the work people do.
I value him like crazy because other shows, I'm like, I got to come in with about 16 stories.
And I really have gotten to the point with him where it's like, all I got to do is hop on the
phone with Josh and I'm going to leave with four or five stories. Yes. And that's all him.
It's got to be weird for you now, though, because I would imagine you want to save your stories for
your podcast. I know that a lot of actors will keep like a little notes app on their phone.
Like they'll keep a story in there for their late night or for their press. What do you do now?
I don't ever think about, thank God,
filling content on this show.
When Monica and I sit down and do a fact check,
I think it's Monica.
Like she and I have such a bizarre creative chemistry.
Because when I do other shows without her,
I do like, I got to go in with a few stories to tell.
But with Monica, I sit down, I'm like,
well, until Rob turns the mics off, we could shoot the shit.
Yeah, it feels that way as a listener, too.
It just feels organic, like you're listening on someone's conversation, which is nice.
Yeah, so I don't really ever think about saving anything for here.
And I don't worry terribly if I've said something here and I say it on your show.
I'm assuming there's minimal overlap.
I don't know.
Maybe I'm wrong.
Well, if there is, let me assure you that someone's being told that at the show. I'm assuming there's minimal overlap. I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong. Well, if there is, let me assure you that someone's being told that at the show. Seriously,
there's a whole team of people that when the guest is coming on, do all the research. And
then if you're up there and you're telling a story, there'll be like a pinch and you're like,
he told that on the podcast. I always feel bad. And Jimmy's like, don't. So I used to be like,
never a story can be repeated. But now with so many podcasts and so many places for people and social media, it's impossible.
And by the way, it never looks bad to the show, in my opinion.
It looks bad for the person who's telling the story for the eighth time in an eighth
place.
Which is like, they don't have anything else to say.
And in fact, we never run into trouble.
It's only an asset that Monica doesn't research because she is the police about when I've gotten too esoteric with the guests.
And I'm assuming people know stuff that wouldn't be known.
That's like a vital role.
It's imperative she doesn't do the research.
Once in a blue moon, she'll ask what would be a very natural question, curiosity.
And I go, oh, I've just seen them get asked that nine times in all these different areas.
And they have a fucking answer. And I don't want to hear that answer.
I love that, though.
That's a good dynamic to have both of those.
That's really smart.
Yeah, so, I don't know what the fuck we were talking about.
Oh, we were talking about.
Produce it, produce it, produce it.
We were talking about how I went from Xander Brewster to now.
So then I went into the segment department for a while.
And season one, two, three, basically through the Matt Damon video, no joke,
there would be a Tuesday where we would not have a guest.
Our music was always booked and we had great musicians
because everyone's trying to push these albums
and there's these deals with the studios
paying for this great performance.
We always had music.
It'd be a Tuesday, we're like,
okay, it's three o'clock, we don't have a guest.
So I would go over with
a clipboard over to the Roseville Hotel to the musical guests hotel room. And I would start
interviewing them because I'm like, you're going to be interviewed now. We're moving you up. So
they would be the second guest spot or sometimes the lead guest spot. I would say half of my
appearances on the show have been like someone fell out. 100%. Thank you very much for your
service. I started interviewing musicians and producing their segments. I remember
week one, I did 50 Cent, Carole King, and Slipknot. Walked over there, interviewed them. Then I'd go
over to Jimmy and say, here's how you're going to interview them. Here's some good stories.
So I started there. I loved producing. It was great writing the guest segments, but I really
wanted to be writing the comedy. So Steve O'Donnell called me up about two years into being
there and he said, I have a spot as a writer's assistant. Would you like it? And I was ecstatic.
I was a writer's assistant for a year and a half. At the time, Jimmy allowed his writer's assistant
to pitch one idea a day. We'd sit around the table every morning and everyone would pitch ideas. And
it was me and these other two writer's assistants. And he'd say, if you'd like, you can pitch an idea.
And I'll never forget the first idea I pitched. Even thinking about it makes me and these other two writer assistants. And he'd say, if you'd like, you can pitch an idea. And I'll never forget the first idea I pitched.
Even thinking about it makes me want to break down into hives.
It was such a bad idea.
I pitched an idea to play Hollywood Boulevard shuffleboard.
It's as exciting as it sounds.
Which was that a guest and Jimmy would play shuffleboard using the Walk of Fame stars as the goal.
I don't hate this, the way i'll show you
footage you will and then he picked it and i was so excited i was like oh my god i have a bit on a
late night show and then i was assigned with the director and the producer and we talked it through
like so what do you see this bit i was like that's it they just play shuffleboard have you ever seen
shuffleboard no you haven't because no one watches it. And I remember then going to the green room and watching it live on television.
And it died the slowest, most brutal death.
And I went home and cried.
And I thought, well, never again.
I'm never pitching an idea again.
Took me a while to get my courage back.
Started pitching more regularly.
And then after like a year, I had gotten tons of ideas on.
And successfully, and they were good.
I was feeling pretty confident. Wanted to be a writer, but wasn't quite sure that I could pitch more than
one idea a day because these guys were pitching, you know, five to 10 ideas a day and I was
stressing over one. So then they hired a woman who's a brilliant writer, Jessie Klein, to be a
writer on the show. And I was so happy for her, but I was so devastated that I was overlooked.
Did you also have in your mind, well, they have their woman? Maybe. I would have been like, okay, I know there's only going to be one or two of us in here.
I was excited there was a woman joining the room. It helped immeasurably for me to have another
woman in that room. But I thought it should have been my spot, which is also crazy to think that's
my spot, like a woman's spot. No, how about all the other spots? Those could have been yours too.
But I was so nervous.
I had barely spoken to Jimmy. I went to his office. I knocked on the door. I remember shaking,
but pretending to be confident. And I knocked on his door and I said, can I have five minutes of
your time? Sure. And I walked in and I said, I want to first and foremost say, very excited about
Jessie Klein. She's a great writer. She's amazing. Just kind of wondering why you haven't hired me to be a writer because I'm a writer's assistant who's writing. I'm getting
stuff on the show and I think it's my time. And he said, it absolutely is your time. I promise you
you're next. It's coming. And then I remember he was opening up a Sprint Trio phone that was like
the coolest new phone at the time. Somebody gifted it it to him. And he's opening up his desk. I remember he was like,
do you have Sprint?
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
And I was like, I do.
I do have Sprint.
And he was, would you like this phone?
And I remember it being a $300 phone,
which was half of what my weekly income was
as a writer's assistant.
And I wanted that phone so badly,
but I didn't want him to think
that that was enough.
Like, oh, just give her the phone
and she'll shut up for a while.
So I said, I do want that phone.
However, I don't want this phone if you think this is going to appease me and I'm not going to want the job.
Because I want the job more than the phone.
Yes.
Only barely.
Yeah.
Because it's a hell of a phone.
It's a really good phone.
It's got these buttons you can press.
And I left with the trio.
And then two or three months later, I was promoted to writer.
And then I was writing for a year and a half, maybe two years.
And I was promoted to head writer.
What was that day like?
When I was promoted to writer, I'll never forget.
I was going to Maine to see my brother.
When I was a writer assistant, you can barely pay your rent.
And I had no money, but I wanted to see my family.
We all went to Maine, and I got promoted to writer.
And my brother said, there's this really great lobster restaurant.
I'm like, let's go lobsters on me. And we went and got lobster. And I remember the bill being
like $380. I was like, I got it. And I put up my credit card. I was like, oh, I don't have this.
I was so scared. And like the whole week, my brother's like, are you sure you, I'm like,
no, I got it. I'm a writer now. And I didn't know what a writer made, but turns out I had enough
to pay for that bill. Being a writer was great, but very stressful. I still get anxiety in the morning when I see
the news coming and they're like, do I have anything? Do I have any ideas left in me?
Well, that was going to be one of my questions is like, how do you navigate
block? Because it's an endless inferno you're shoveling into.
I get blocked a lot.
Do you have techniques?
I feel like going outside helps me like getting fresh air. Honestly, sometimes not
looking at the news, not looking at what's going on. What do I find funny today? Or what do I find
interesting? You do when you're a late night writer have to write in the voice of the person
that's the host. It's not my show. It's his show. So I am writing and trying to appease him and the
things that I know he would like. But then I do find some of my best ideas come from when I shut
all that off. And I think what would make me and my friends laugh tonight? What do I find funny? And I try to encourage our writers to do
the same. Well, I bet it's because the first thing is so cerebral. And then the second thing is much
more emotional and passionate. If you look to that place, I think it could be fuel because it's not
what you think you should do, but it's what you feel. Absolutely. I think it's good advice for everyone to just kind of try to find that feeling.
Because I think particularly with the way we're so structured at late nights, like, here are the stories, here's what we're writing to.
And every day is kind of the same in that it's the same structure and the same goal we have to try really hard to step outside of that.
One example of when an idea came to me that I loved was I was sitting with Jimmy and my friend Kelly Oxford. She was very
big on Twitter. She took Twitter by storm. Oh, did she ever? Yes. And she was reading all these
horrible things people were saying about her on Twitter at my kitchen table. And then Jimmy starts
trying to make her feel better and he starts reading all the horrible things that people
said about him on Twitter. And I found it to be this really nice moment of they're not alone in
this. And I was like, it doesn't matter who you are.
People are horrible to you.
And then I came up with the idea of mean tweets,
which was that people would come on the show
and read the worst things people have said about them.
I know you've never done it.
We'll talk about that next.
Earmark that.
We'll get to that.
Will Arnett was actually the very first person to read one.
I will never forget it.
And I didn't know if it was going to go well or not.
But then once we banked and we got like Will Ferrell, we banked a bunch. And then once that
first one made it to air, it became so easy to pitch. And in fact, all these guests would come
on and say, I want to read a mean tweet. And some of them were like, you can't. And some of them we
were begging to, and that became a big. Isn't that the gold chalice? I didn't say chalice,
right? I don't even know if gold chalice is the same, but isn't that the very highest watermark?
When you write a bit that then becomes a staple in the show, everyone's just got to be like,
whew, that's good.
A repeatable bit is the gold standard.
At late night, that if you can come up with a bit that people want to see again is wonderful.
And also, it's such a filler of time.
It's a dream.
On the Formula One podcast I do, we were doing a thing called Zaddies, which is the driver's
fathers.
And you would learn all about how these, because presumably they're all rich kids, like what
did their father, and then as the season ended, I was like, well, we're out of Zaddies.
Uh-oh.
Yeah, that sense of like there's a vacuum now.
Totally.
It's so scary when you have, you know, 15 minutes to fill at night and you've got two
things.
Like, oh no, how are we going to dance?
I feel sad now that I know that that was your creation.
Don't be sad.
What was your assumption?
Because yes, I've been asked to do that three or four times and I've said no, I don't want to do it.
Yeah, I'm the one asking you.
I know you've been asked and I know you said no.
I respect that you say no.
And I'm going to tell you right now that I've totally turned on mean tweets.
Oh, you have.
I found it very valuable and funny.
And I found at the beginning, I love that bit. What I loved the most about it was that people were willing
to be self-deprecating. Yes. I know you're willing to be self-deprecating. Right. I know that's not
your issue. That wasn't my objection. I'm going to predict what your issue was with it. Okay.
Because I think it's now actually my own. So I love that bit. I honestly think it was helpful
to people. It's the same thing this show does, which is like, hey, guess what? Even Brad Pitt gets shit on. That's the thing I agree.
Especially for younger people who might not feel good about themselves or getting bullied
to think, oh my God, Halle Berry gets called ugly. Everyone's bad.
The most encouraging thing I've ever read was this takedown of Aaron Sorkin as a terrible writer.
Oh, God. And I was like, oh, thank God I read that.
Yeah, right. Like if someone has the gall to say he's a terrible writer.
Yeah, it's like that guy recently who said like Martin Short's not funny. I was like, what? Yeah, I know. That was so dumb. It's helpful because then you can was like, oh, thank God I read that. Yeah. Like if someone has the gall to say he's a terrible writer. Yeah, it's like that guy recently who said like Martin Short's not funny.
I was like, what?
Yeah, I know.
It's helpful because then you can go like, yeah, maybe some of this shit people are saying about me is not.
Yes.
So I found at the beginning it to be helpful.
Yeah.
As it went on and as it became more popular, I felt like people were purposely writing horrible things about people hoping for their tweet to get on the show.
And I sensed it
because the way we would do it is you just search by keyword. Like if Monica's coming on the show,
we would put in your name on Twitter and we'd see what people are writing about you. I was like,
wait, there's no way there's this many. And I felt like people were maybe writing, hoping to get
them. But I also felt like it encouraged people to say horrible things. I wouldn't do it because
I didn't want to reward the people who did that. I would rather
there's so many people
who had written
such nice things about me
and even Kelly
at her worst
I'm sure
it was probably
still 98% positive
for people who thought
she was a brilliant
and funny writer.
So it's like
I hate the notion
of giving energy
and reward to people
that are shitting on things.
I fully understand that.
But I would have done it
if I knew you created it.
Yeah, I thought about
reaching out to you personally but I was like you know what? I bet he has a really good reason for this and I'm not have done it if I knew you created it. Yeah, I thought about reaching out to you personally, but I was like, you know what?
I bet he has a really good reason for this, and I'm not going to push.
You're a great guest.
You don't need it.
But I've now changed my tune on it because I feel like the world is so negative.
I feel the same.
I don't want to reorder.
So we've stopped actually doing it.
It is a great bit, though.
And it also accomplished all the other things that you listed.
So it's not like it didn't have merit.
My goal was always to get Obama to do it, and he did it. And that's not to die happily. What were they saying? I mean,
people say horrible things about him, but I was like, let's not send like the horrible,
horrible ones. And I also, I had a standard of like, I would never send anything racist or
homophobic. I was like, those I don't need out in the world. But I sent Obama's people pages of them,
softer-ish ones, but some really hard ones in there.
And then they took out anything that was really bad.
And it was all soft ones.
And then he does it.
The mean tweets went in the monologue.
He comes out first guest.
First thing he says, he goes, you know, you guys got to find meaner tweets.
Oh, come on.
We found meaner tweets.
Your people cut the good ones out.
Don't worry.
I'll do it.
Okay, great.
Your people need to find meaner tweets.
Monica hates when I talk like Obama.
Malia?
Shosa?
Oh, God.
Michelle?
God.
That's really good, Dax.
Thank you, Molly.
I'm not nervous around you anymore.
I'm going to bring like a loom to Idaho this year.
Oh, yeah.
So I'll be out there making a quilt or something.
That's the thing, though.
He is.
He's like doing push-ups and then talking about feelings.
It's very confusing.
Stay tuned for more armchair expert if you dare okay i want to know the pros and cons of working in an environment that is so fucking blurry. So Mickey works there.
Kevin, the son, works there.
Uncle Frank worked there.
Sal worked there.
Cleto works there.
You work there.
I have to imagine you're experiencing the same benefits and prices that Monica and I face.
And I'm curious, what's the good part and what's the bad part?
Okay, I say the good part is, even before I was technically family,
that place is a family.
My biggest worry when I started dating Jimmy,
you know, I'd been head writer for,
I think, a year and a half, two years.
We started dating.
My biggest concern was the way
it was going to change the dynamic at work.
Because I'm in a room with predominantly men.
As in any place, you like to make fun of the boss
when the boss is not around.
And I felt myself almost overcompensating,
like I was shitting on him too hard.
Because I wanted them to know, like, it's safe here, I swear.
And I have become, healthy or not,
very good at compartmentalizing.
So work is work, home is home.
And when I'm at work, I can talk shit on Jimmy.
I actually see things that I don't think Jimmy would like,
but I turn it off and I go home and it's just totally separate.
That would be, for me, the hardest thing to decide.
Yes.
Like, is something cancerous happening that actually needs to be addressed
before it lowers the show?
Right.
Or am I being protective of someone I love?
How do I know?
So this is weird.
I find that the benefit to it is that I can get into Jimmy
and get him to change
his mind on things. And I think he has a greater sense of obligation because I'm his wife. I've
seen people try to fight him on stuff and he gets stubborn. And if I go into him like, you cannot do
this, you cannot say this, we got to change this, whatever. He will always push back on me, always.
And then 98% of the time, listen to what I said. I shouldn't be speaking for other
people, but I do think it serves a lot of people at the show in a way that I can get in with him.
Like I got this, I'll take care of it. I have to have the uncomfortable conversations with him
that other people don't want to have. I have nothing to lose. So I can say, you can't say
that word in the monologue. Trust me, you're going to get blowback. Or if someone else went to him,
he'd be like, get over yourself. And then the benefit of this familial setting is it's heartwarming, it's connected, it's fulfilling
in many ways, I assume. Because sometimes you can feel like your work is just this weird compartment
that's not really a part of your life, but something about spending time with people you
would anyway. There's something great about that. But also, I presume, feelings are much more on the
table. Oh, yeah. much more on the table.
Oh, yeah. I have very thick skin. I think you have to be to be a late night TV writer because,
like I said, all those pages of things you're writing every day, on a good day,
90% of you is rejected. 10% of what you wrote got on. So I have that relationship with my husband,
which is weird. He can reject me every day, and he does. I'm used to it. It doesn't
bother me because, like I said, I compartmentalize its work. And also, at the end of the day, it's
his show. It's his name. I have respect for him. I'm like, do the material you want to do that
you're comfortable with. I don't care. Occasionally, I will pitch something that he rejects that I just
think, oh, no, you're an idiot. That is a great bit. And it only happens when it's something really personal to me.
So I remember it was right after we learned that The Secret was out, that Roe v. Wade
was going to be overturned.
And I frantically wrote this great bit about it.
And he rejected it.
And I have never been angrier at him in all my life.
And I carried it home, which I don't do.
So I get home and he did something else about it, but it was light and it wasn't as serious as I wanted to be. That's his prerogative. It's his show. But I was fueled and
fired up already. And I got so mad. I got home and I just lost edge circle. I'm like, I can't
believe you rejected that bit. In like 20 years, I've never gotten upset about it. And he said,
oh my God, this is why I didn't, all his reasons. And I said, none of those mean anything to me.
This is what we needed to say tonight. And I don't want to hear from a man right now how I should be feeling
about Roe v. Wade. And he felt terrible. And again, this is where that relationship goes.
I wish you would come over to my office and said all of this and I would have done it.
The thing about having a late night daily show is that-
Hi, Molly. I love you. I can see that your eyes are-
I know. I'm getting emotional.
It's intense. It's intense. Yeah. It is. Now I'm getting emotional. The grind of that daily show and having to make
those decisions, he has so much to deal with and so much at stake. And when we're doing things that...
Sorry, now I'm getting emotional. When we do things that could not be popular with some parts of the country, it opens him up to a vulnerability and to attack.
And I've watched it time and time again.
I've watched him get trampled for things he said on air.
And it's really hard to watch somebody you love.
His vulnerability has been exploited at times.
Yes.
And it's heartbreaking.
It is.
I've fucking been furious. Oh, you're calling someone a crybaby because their son just overcame the scariest thing to be like.
Completely.
What kind of fucking horrific human are you to take this moment?
Put your politics down for 30 seconds and be a human.
I feel you.
I stand by everything he said and he's done.
It's really hard to watch other people writing his narrative for him and completely misunderstanding him at times.
Well, intentionally misunderstanding.
Intentionally misunderstanding him at times.
You know him.
I know him.
He's truly one of the kindest people I know.
And when I see people shitting on him and calling him things, a pedophile or whatever, these crazy conspiracy.
At the beginning, you're like,
oh, who cares?
Who cares?
Who cares?
And then over time,
you just start to think,
what is going on in this country?
And this is why I turned on
mean tweets, by the way.
The total misinformation,
the anger,
the vitriol we have towards people
who might vote for someone differently,
it's really destructive.
I know that probably also
sounds hypocritical
because I am pretty clear that I'm liberal and progressive.
And I think our show a lot of times is.
But I feel like the human part is gone.
Yeah, the humanity.
It used to be that something like a child being in danger would transcend everything.
And by God, it has to transcend everything.
It's demoralizing when that can be the reaction.
Or that people could be excited that someone's husband was attacked in their home because they're on the wrong political side.
And we do it to some degree, too.
We're kind of hoping these people die of COVID.
Yeah.
You know, so it's like we've all suffered.
Like all of our humanity has been reduced.
But when I see other broadcasters try to use Jimmy as takedown, you know, like Fox News or Sean Hannity or Tucker Carlson.
And these guys who try to take what Jimmy's saying and weaponize it as if he's the enemy in this situation.
It's intolerable.
Yeah, they make him an archetype of the enemy.
Yes.
That would kill me.
I generally have gotten good.
It's taken a long time.
But I don't generally fight
people on Twitter. But if someone says something about Kristen, it's fucking on. I've had people
say stuff about Monica and it's on. It's way harder to watch someone that doesn't deserve it.
I got off Twitter because I just think it got really ugly there. But also people I don't know,
I don't want to allow. Why do I care about your opinion of me or my husband?
You don't know me. You don't know him. No, he's not a pedophile. No, we're not like drinking
children's blood with Tom Hanks. If one more person sends me a meme of Jimmy on the man show,
it's like, I know he hosted the man show. I know he did a Karl Malone impression he later apologized
for. I know these things. I know he did comedy in the 90s. Yeah, I know. You a Carl Malone impression he later apologized for. I know these things.
I know he did comedy in the 90s.
Yeah, I know.
You don't have to like taunt me and try to harass me with this stuff all the time.
And so I now have found myself getting much more protective of the things he says and does.
And then it also doesn't feel like that is in a line with comedy.
I feel like it's always a struggle.
I feel like now I read through the monologue before he does it. and I think, what could be the soundbite that gets him in trouble
tomorrow? Totally. I know. And it's such a dangerous way to live because I do believe
that comedy should be provocative. It should be edgy. Not every joke should be scrutinized.
They're jokes. Well, yeah, it's maintaining a personality and a fingerprint without getting
in trouble is really hard.
You just start taking out
every scene. I mean, we have it. I edit this
show and I do that. This line
has to go because somebody will read it as this.
And then you're like, well, now there's
no sentence. Right. Like, now there's not
even a question or a sentence. What do we
do about that? It's a very hard
line. It's tricky. I feel like you're just
always on the tightrope now. I'm just kind of done. Me too. I just don very hard line. It's tricky. I feel like you're just always on a tight rope
now. I'm just kind of done. Me too. Yeah. I just don't care anymore. I know. Well, the positive
thing is actually comedy's here to rescue us. When I look at where the optimism is, where the
hopefulness, it's like me watching Shane Gillison going like, oh, wow, this motherfucker's going to
pull us right out of this place. A lot of these people, I might not agree with them. They might go too far sometimes, but I'm like,
here we go. Yep. That's your point of view. I might be in for 70% of it. Maybe not for 30.
I don't need you to be pure. I don't need 100%. And by the way, back to the tail wagging the dog,
they have the proof because they're in front of 5 000 people and they're doing that in 75 cities
and they're really showing us no y'all most of us are fucking rational you're absolutely right
and i feel really grateful to have grown up with comedy that maybe would not work today but i feel
like it really helped shape me i don't feel as judgmental of other people's comedy because it's
comedy and if you don't like it don't listen listen to it. Yeah. You go to the line,
you step over it
and you step over it this way
and you step over it
and sometimes it's, you know.
Yeah.
Like I look at Howard Stern
and Don Rickles and these guys,
I'm like,
that wouldn't work now.
And I'm so grateful that it did.
That's the other thing I have
when I'm feeling very agitated by it.
I'm like,
all right guys,
go enjoy this life
where you don't laugh anymore
and you don't have sex anymore
and all these things.
Like have a fucking blast.
Like, reap what you sow.
I do want to take some responsibility a little bit, though, because the reason we care is because we do want mass appeal.
We are acknowledging that we want a lot of listeners and we want to be number one and we want to have this deal.
True, true, true.
And we want this.
We just want them to be cool.
Yeah, we just want everyone in the whole world to be cool and we're not. So we wouldn't care if we had like a very small niche audience that agreed with everything we did. We want more than that and we sort of have to be like, well, it comes with this. It's a very good point. You've kept us honest and I agree. God damn it, Monica. Fuck you. It's my job. I'm going to land this plane on a lighthearted one. How has doing this job diminished your view of famous people and how has it bolstered it?
Oh, that's a great question.
Because you have literally, as we just said, you've seen several thousand come through and got to see how they behave and how many people they arrive with or they don't arrive with, how much they fight about this or that.
I think there are a lot of famous people who take themselves way too seriously.
I see why they do. We've built them up. I would just say like everyone needs someone in their camp that tells
them no. And the ones who have surrounded themselves with yes men are the scariest ones.
I understand why they are that way. I think it comes from a deep, insecure place. They're all
afraid to fail. They're afraid of the people we've just talked about attacking them. And so they are kind of on high alert, but the power and the ego is a little
out of control. I've seen it many times at the show with guests I won't name. The ones that I
feel like are the best are the ones who are surrounded by people who are not afraid to tell
them no and usually have a really good loving relationship in their life. Someone who keeps
them in check. So I agree with all those things. And also I've had many different people
in my life climb all the different levels. I have compassion because what seems pretty consistent is
it's almost impossible to go through the process and not be affected. I've been affected and I'm
not sure how. So I'm like sympathetic to it.
It's fascinating because it is people being deities on planet Earth.
In this democracy and meritocracy, there's still royalty.
And some people I feel truly bad for.
Like, I think their life has been made incredibly small and I don't think it's their fault.
And so I'll even be chatting with someone about, have you been to this store?
They have not been to this store? They have not
been to a store in a decade. And also, I would say in general, there's something incredibly
powerful and wonderful about someone who would risk it all to share their point of view. So it's
like there's a quality to that also unites all these people. So I don't know. I just find it
fascinating. It's never not going to be fascinating.
I agree.
Even if I'm playing it cool in front of the person, I'm like, how out to sea are you?
Right.
Let's see.
Right, right. It's interesting there's so many different levels of it too. I think we have
a lot of famous people coming in and out of our lives, whether it's through work or friendship.
And it's interesting that you can have very, very famous people around you and they can handle it in two totally different ways.
Yeah.
Matt Damon, I'm going to say it again.
Same.
We're all excited over that.
Say fuck a lot too.
Well, you were my wing woman at the air premiere.
Yes, that's right.
You and Jimmy together.
Of course, we were so excited for you. But he is a guy, to me, he's as famous as you can get
and does not change the way he behaves out in the world.
We've been out with him.
It's like, oh, is it safe to go to this place or can we go here?
He's like, well, of course.
He is still acting.
I imagine what he was acting like 20 years ago.
Well, what I like about it is it is a resilience.
It's a refusal to give up your life.
Yes.
A lot of it has to be like, I have to just fucking deal with whatever
because I can't change my whole life to accommodate this.
Right.
There's almost a stubbornness at play
that I end up really admiring and liking in certain people.
I also think it is different for women than it is for men.
It's more dangerous.
Because women, yeah, dangerous.
And also women going out to a grocery store
without any makeup on is on the cover of a magazine.
Look how bad she looks.
Where Matt Damon not having makeup on going to 7-Eleven looks hot and no one cares.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I think.
More fuck up.
Yeah.
We put this pressure on women.
Yeah.
We put all this pressure on women on like how they look when they're out and how they act.
Who are they with?
Yeah.
And I do think that women naturally go a little more inward to famous women. Well, that's solely why we have refused to ever do video in here, because I want the person to
be evaluated by what they're saying and what opinions they're sharing and not whether you
think they're aging gracefully or shamefully. That has to be weeded out.
I love that. That's great.
I mean, but it's also tempting because like some of them are so fun and they would make great
videos, but ultimately like there's so much on the plate.
Then they have to go through hair and makeup.
And then there's probably someone here for touch-ups.
And the whole thing.
And it's not their fault.
They have to do all that.
And a dude doesn't.
Because we'll tear them up if they don't.
Yeah.
We will.
We've seen it.
I mean, look, that's the whole magazine industry is just judging women and how they look all the time.
Schadenfreude.
Yeah.
Do you think, since you do have so many friends who are really successful, do you think the
men get shinier, they feed off of it more, and the women kind of dim a little bit?
Yeah.
I think that a man who's single in his 50s is sexy, and a woman who's single in her 50s,
like, what went wrong?
Women cannot win.
If they age naturally, whew, she looks rough.
And if she doesn't, what's she doing to her face?
And men, I don't find they have as much pressure. You might disagree, but I just don't think there's
much pressure. No, no, we don't at all. We don't at all. I would never want to be a famous woman.
I think it's a horrible thing. I don't know how these women do it. I mean, you're married to one
of the great ones. And I think it's so hard that pressure would feel like way too much.
It's not fair. It's still not fair. It's still not fair. Well, I want to be the first to tell
you as you listen to the show. I do. This was a 10. Really? That's very kind. I love being here
with you guys. I love you, Molly. I feel so lucky to be invited into your family so often. Thank
you. We love having you and we love your family. And Monica, thank you for making me feel comfortable
and invited.
It was very kind of you.
She made the time to make sure
I wasn't being tortured
by imposter syndrome.
Thank you.
It's like the mean tweets.
I think it's good for people
to know you have that
because you're running a crazy ship.
Two now.
Two.
And I'm a family
and you're doing all this stuff
and you have imposter syndrome.
That's going to relieve
a lot of people, I think. I hope so. Thank you. All right. I love a family and you're doing all this stuff and you have imposter syndrome. That's going to relieve a lot of people, I think.
I hope so.
Thank you.
All right.
I love you.
Love you.
Stay tuned for the fact check so you can hear all the facts that were wrong.
Okay, so Molly.
Molly McNerney.
Oh, Molly, Molly, Molly.
What a freaking delight to have her in.
She's a beast.
She is.
She's a bad mofo.
And she's working on the Oscars right now.
Busy bee.
So a couple nights ago, Lincoln had a terrible night's sleep.
She certainly seems to have what I have always had, which is like insomnia induced by thoughts, right?
And so I had felt bad for her that night because she was up a bunch.
And then when she was getting ready for school, she came in and she was like, oh, my God, I'm like so tired.
I don't know how I'm going to do this.
Like she was really starting to freak out that she wasn't going to be able to get through the day.
And I said, oh, my God, I know that feeling so well. I've had that so many times. I said, will you do me a
favor? Will you go in the mirror right now? And I wasn't with her. I'm in bed journaling. And then
she walks in around the corner to the mirror in my bathroom. And so she gets in front of the mirror
and I said, say, I'm a bad bitch. And she goes, I'm a bad bitch. And I said, I'm a bad bitch. And she goes, I'm a bad bitch. And I said, I'm a bad bitch, and I'm going to fuck up this day.
Oh, wow.
And she goes, I'm a bad bitch, and I'm going to fuck up this day.
And then she came out, and Monica, it was a 180.
Great.
She was like, I'm a monster.
I'm going to fight through this, and I'm going to have a great day despite this because I'm a bad bitch.
And I was thinking, that's life in a nutshell.
You just go like, yeah, here's a sitch.
And then I'll have a decision.
Am I going to be dreading this all day long?
Or is this going to be a feather in my cap that I persevered in this?
That's really true.
We all can decide.
Yeah.
Very sweet.
Okay, yeah.
So Molly was really great.
And we haven't had anyone like her on to discuss the BTS. Yeah. Very sweet. Okay, yeah. So Molly was really great.
And we haven't had anyone like her on to discuss the BTS.
Of a late night talk show.
I know.
I found it incredibly interesting.
Me too.
Especially how the sausage is made like in the morning.
It's starting at five.
And here's all the news clipping that has been whittled down to this. And now we run off of these 10.
Yes.
That's very cool.
The amount of shit that is getting done.
And the stress of stuff coming up midday after you've written the entire monologue.
Oh my gosh.
You must like have just a simmering anxiety throughout the whole day, hoping you get to
the monologue before something pops up.
Yeah.
And just also just starting over every day. It's so depleting. And then you
start over. Oh man, that takes a very specific energy. Yes. And fortitude. Okay. So we do
mention on a previous fact check, we address the creative difference, but it starts here.
Like we brought it up here at the beginning of this episode.
Because it was that morning.
It was that morning.
Yeah.
And we start to talk about it.
And we say, like, we'll talk about it.
But then we didn't.
Uh-huh.
And then the day that we recorded that fact check, we talked about it.
But, yeah.
It's out of order.
It's out of order.
A little quick recap.
It was just that the amount of time up top of an episode before you enter the actual interview.
And I was happy because I think we handled it really well.
Yeah.
But now I feel a little like, did we cheat?
Because we really didn't disagree.
But we still could have imploded, I guess.
We did disagree.
I mean, because you had one instinct, and then when I heard it, mine was the other.
But we didn't have a difference about what we think should happen on the show.
Right.
Ultimately, we won.
It wasn't a crisis by any stretch.
I know.
It would have been better if it was a crisis.
Well, I don't.
I mean, sure, for the sake of the show, it would be better drama.
But I don't want to invite that in.
I don't mean better drama.
I mean, it would have been a bigger thing to overcome.
It would have been a bigger deal if we really had an actual creative difference that we then handled very well.
Yeah.
But we just handled the creative similarity well i got you so you're
saying we shouldn't be so proud of ourselves okay but i still want to be proud it wasn't a huge
challenge is what you're saying yeah okay i guess i agree with that that but that was based i mean
really that was in your court for it to be or not to be. Because like, you just were open to that pretty quickly.
But had you said, absolutely not, that would ruin the episode.
That's the most important thing.
You know, like, it could have become one, but it just didn't.
That's true.
Oh, yes.
Because on the Kurt and Wyatt episode, and some people might have found this, we put
out the episode, the beginning before Kurt comes in is long.
And then when you listened, you felt it was too long, understandably.
And so we went back in and trimmed it up.
Yeah.
So if you are a rare bird who listened.
Well, I already know.
There's people in the comments that were like, oh, I feel so lucky I got to hear both.
I heard about the debate and then I went and listened to both.
Wow.
Yeah.
So some people did hear both and were excited to have.
It's like a crack.
It only existed for three hours on a Monday morning.
No, it was.
It got updated pretty quickly.
Was it the same day?
Yeah.
I don't think it was the same day.
Okay.
But whatever. Some people
will be excited. Anyway,
yes, if I had fought back,
that would have been a problem, but I wouldn't have
fought back because I didn't disagree.
Right, right, right.
I'm just saying, it had the
potential to be a real dust out, but it
didn't shake out that way. Yeah, it's true.
Molly recorded on a Wednesday.
What?
Molly was a Wednesday recording.
That's what, I knew it was like, it was a significant amount of time after.
But then it wasn't that day.
Yeah.
It might have been the first time we were together.
Maybe it happened the day of.
It wasn't.
There was a text you sent that morning to us, and that's when we did it.
Okay.
Shall we look at the text?
Yeah.
Okay.
This will solve this once and for all.
17th, Wednesday, 1030 a.m.
That's when I sent the text.
Mm-hmm.
Well, I stand corrected.
I'm wrong.
You're right.
Anyhow.
So it was up for two full days.
Yeah.
So then the predominantly-
Most people heard it.
Most of the listeners heard it that way.
Yeah.
Okay, is it Nevada or Nevada?
Jimmy says it's Nevada.
Yeah, me too.
And you say that.
So let's see what this lady says.
What was a random lady at 7-Eleven?
A particular word is, first of all, the kinds of things you're going to say with Nevada, like Las Vegas, Nevada, Reno, Nevada, etc.
The state of Nevada.
I visited Nevada.
You might also want to try using some other words that have that black cat vowel.
Like, we have a state called Nevada.
Okay, well, she's said Nevada a lot.
She sure did.
So I think it's Nevada.
But we haven't heard it with that black cat vowel yet.
She was getting into some major grammar.
Yeah, it's like when they're teaching kids,
they give all these cute names to, like, if it's long or short.
Yeah, you put, like, the hat on top.
Yeah, black hat.
Black hat, black cat. Black hat, black hat.
Top hat, hat on a hat.
Okay, I got a really good fact.
She did that day of work at KSDK St. Louis NBC Local News, and you said that it could have been—
Tom may have been—
Working there.
The boss there.
Oh, did you ask him?
Tom, Kristen's dad. I asked Kristen. He worked at boss there. Oh, did you ask him? Tom, Kristen's dad.
I asked Kristen.
He worked at the competition.
He worked at KMOV News for CBS.
Oh, so maybe if she had interned there, she would have been a news anchor right now because that anchor would have loved her job and persuaded her to follow it.
Probably.
Talk about competition.
There's only whatever there is.
There's three channels in your town in Atlanta and there's three anchors.
Yeah.
So it's almost like if you're interning somebody, it's like you're kind of grooming and helping the competition.
Also, it's like you don't need any more competition.
It's like there's only three jobs available.
That's a scarcity mindset.
She might have been Machiavellian and been like, oh, this woman is definitely smart as
hell and cute.
I don't need her in my job pool.
You have to think about that.
Maybe thought about it that way.
I never thought about it that way.
Right.
But it all worked out.
It sure did.
So thank God she did that.
Yes.
I think she was just like, it almost sounded like she was like, this isn't fun.
Like, this is what you do.
You read other people's words all day long.
Which I, certainly a lot of anchors love it, right?
Sure.
And I can see where she's saying that.
I would like to hear from someone that's just like bonkers for the job.
Well, I'm sure a lot of people are.
Yeah.
But, yeah, that was her experience.
We had some military choppers overhead.
Oh.
More than one.
You probably don't have this thought.
This would be a you and Liz on synced kind of conversation.
Okay, what?
Are you ever on alert for us getting invaded?
Like, when you see six military helicopters flying around L.A., does it ever cross your mind, like, hmm,, hmm, I wonder if we're getting attacked in any way?
Interesting.
That's my first thought.
Is it?
Yeah.
And I'm wondering if that's a gendered thing.
If I saw a bunch of military copters, I don't know that I'd think we were getting invaded necessarily,
but I definitely would think something bad is happening right now.
Yeah.
Like, I have this crazy theory.
You may remember it.
But there was a period of time in L.A. and it lasted for weeks.
And it was three Osprey airplanes, the kind that the propellers, they rotate down so they
can take off vertically.
They're cool.
They're like a hybrid of a helicopter and an airplane.
And they were flying in this exact distance from one another for a month over LA. And they were seeming to me
going in a pattern like you would mow your lawn. I'd like see them far out and they would just be
gradually working their way across the sky. And at that point, my conclusion, which I kind of
stand by, I was like, they have some kind of really sensitive gigameter.
And there's been like, they have intelligence that there's like a dirty bomb in LA.
And they are scanning LA to detect the radiation.
Yeah, interesting.
Because why else would they be flying a grid over LA for so long?
My thought first is they're testing stuff.
Okay, practicing.
Yeah, they're practicing, they're testing stuff. Okay. Practicing. Yeah.
They're practicing.
They're testing.
Running drills.
Running drills.
Air and water show.
Sure.
What's that?
You know, air shows where you gather in a runway and the military comes and brings cool shit and a Harrier jet takes off vertically.
That's what you're talking about. Do they have them here?
They have them in Chicago.
Yeah.
They're big in rural America.
I've never seen it. Oh, and you're talking about. Do they have them here? They have them in Chicago. They're big in rural America. I've never seen it.
Oh, and they're famous for
disasters. Constantly
people, because they got stumped.
People fly in planes and they come in too low
and there's, the internet's riddled
with air show
disasters. Five flying next to each other
and doing like crazy turns.
And what's the water part?
That was new to me as well. It was on Lake Michigan. doing like crazy turns. Oh. And what's the water part?
That was new to me as well.
It was on Lake Michigan.
Oh, okay.
So maybe there's boats.
I never actually,
we would just see the planes. Maybe they dip into the water
and come out like a splash.
Sure, 007.
Yeah.
Amphibious airplane.
I'm a fearful person,
so I always get a little anxious
when I see anything in the sky.
But you don't think invasion.
I don't think specifically that.
I go to like how crazy it must have been at Pearl Harbor.
Exactly.
Like now there's just the sky is full of enemy.
Squadron of Mitsubishi airplanes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's happened.
Well, it's happening.
Here?
Not here, but it's happening in the world currently.
Oh, yeah.
Because I could see where a lot of people would feel genuinely pretty fearless because we're so removed from most things.
Yeah.
It's hard to invade the U.S.
You've got to send boats for a very long time to get here, and we would detect that.
We're hijackers.
So that's one of our advantages.
We don't really have any neighboring countries that are going to invade us.
But then when Pearl Harbor happens, you're like, no, it doesn't, you know, they'll still, they can do it.
We are so lucky.
To not be in a war zone?
Yes.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
People living, they're living in that every day.
A significant geographical area. Like there's
a good chunk of the globe
is either bordering or
currently engaged in
conflict. Yeah. I know. Or the whole Red Sea.
The fact that the whole Red Sea is dangerous.
Yep. I know.
Like what if Lake
Michigan was just overrun with pirates?
Yeah. That's
scary.
Okay, who invented the viral video?
Lonely Island?
Well, there's a lot credited to the viral video.
That's a notable early example in Dick in a Box. And some people say Kony 2012 was the first video that went viral.
I would more credit that than I would Lonely Island.
Simply that Lonely Island had a launch pad that already had 4 million viewers.
It came out on Saturday Night Live.
Right.
And then became viral.
But Kony was just like, here, internet.
Exactly.
I hope you spread this.
I think the story of Lonely Island was that YouTube wasn't really a thing yet.
And it was one of the first YouTube videos that spread like that.
Oh, okay.
Interesting.
And if you type in who invented the viral video, what comes up is the first viral video of the internet age was more successful than most people realize and single-handedly launched the careers of two small filmmakers, Matt Stone and Trey Parker.
Oh, South Park.
This says first viral video was created by South Park duo.
Oh.
Because it's all happening sort of at once, so I think there's a lot of things that a lot of people are saying. Yeah, the first 10 viral videos probably happened within the first two weeks of YouTube.
Like, it probably happened quite quickly.
Yeah.
Also, Justin Bieber, because, you know, Justin Bieber was discovered on YouTube.
Right.
Which is crazy.
As seen in the Bieber doc that I love so much.
Sure.
Yeah, cut it.
I love that.
Never saw it.
Oh, it's so good.
John Chu.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And that's the day that you hit all those pigeons.
It is unfortunately one of the darker days of my life.
Yeah.
Yeah.
A real blemish on my track record.
When I get to the pearly gates, that'll be brought up.
You think so?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, there's, on Nobody's Listening, right, they were talking about how, you know, there's
this idea that right before you die, you need to get the tape of your life.
Yes, yes.
It's not just what you felt.
It's what the other people felt.
Oh.
You feel their feelings, too.
Oh, that's interesting.
So what do you think so far, knock on wood, knock on wood.
Okay.
Are making your highlight reel?
Well, you don't like when I brag, so this is really a—
I'm giving you—this is exactly the time I'm giving you the opportunity.
But you do understand I'm saying, like, well, this is going to force me to brag.
But you understand the difference, right?
When you're just saying it is different than when you're being asked.
Yeah, I know.
It is a difference.
I think it'll be gross.
Like, I'll try a couple, and I think it'll be gross.
Some of them can be bad things.
Oh.
Well, those are easier for me to do.
Do mix.
Okay, one I'm very proud of is Yurdy, my sister's boyfriend of 20-plus years, who I love desperately.
Yeah.
He decided to start going to community college while he was at one of my favorite restaurants that has the meatloaf and the mash.
Oh, R&D Kids.
Boston Market.
Got it.
And he applied and got into Cal State.
And he bought the sweatshirt.
Oh.
And I saw him in the sweatshirt and I was so happy for him.
Yeah. And then some time went by
and I said, when do you start? And he said, you know, I really can't afford to go. And by the way,
this is a long time ago. And I said, well, I will pay. I'll pay. I want you to go. And he said,
that's so generous, but I couldn't afford to take the time off work to go. And I said, okay, we'll figure out how much lost time you'll have at work, how many shifts you'll lose, what that is.
And then I'll also pay that.
And you already went to college and you graduated.
That's very nice.
And now he has a great job.
Yeah, he wears the sweatshirt and like that is awesome.
Yeah, that's great.
That's definitely making the
highlight reel yeah i love that aaron climbing a telephone pole and diarying in seventh grade
off of the telephone pole like that's very memorable like that yeah you what are yours
um state champion yeah for sure um well i don't know how i don't know how long the tape plays because I think actually before winning would be me landing the back tuck for the first time.
Right.
I couldn't do it.
And I try.
Oh, my God.
I've never worked so hard at anything in my entire life.
Landing on my feet, I'll never forget.
I'll never forget it.
I bet you can still feel
the sensation in your body
of your feet planting.
I can.
It was like,
it was,
it was so profound for me.
Yeah.
Because it was like,
oh my God,
you can do things
that feel impossible.
Yeah.
If you work really,
really fucking hard.
Well, in that vein, getting an acceptance letter from UCLA.
Yeah, that's huge.
Getting the phone call that I had gotten into the Sunday company.
Yep.
Endless things from the show.
That feels like too easy.
Yeah.
There's been so many things in it so recent.
It is what actually matters to us more than what we think we know matters to us.
Like, I think there'll be surprises.
I'm totally remiss in saying the very most profound moment
of my whole life is when they handed Lincoln over to me.
And I'm, like, holding her.
Exactly.
Those are, like, givens, right?
Yeah, yeah.
And she looks up at me.
Yeah.
And the look in her eyes is like, take care of me, okay?
Yeah.
You're the one.
You're the person.
Take care of me, okay?
I'm going to need a lot of help for a minute.
Yeah.
She needs help.
She's a little baby.
She needed a lot of help.
She couldn't wipe her own butt for a long, long time.
Yeah.
Years.
Years.
Years.
Yeah.
I mean, yes. The
babies, those things.
The merit. Those
things are obvious.
That's why I didn't mention
them. But then I'm thinking, if you're listening, you're like,
how on earth? I think that
the flagpole, it's more that.
It's like these random moments
in your history
that are small.
Like they don't.
Sasha Crossett asking me to go with her when I was in sixth grade.
She said, will you go with me?
Yeah.
I got a note.
Oh, it was a note.
And did it say circle yes or no?
I don't remember that it had that, but maybe.
And I'm only like two months into sixth grade and I get a letter from the most popular girl in the school.
When she approaches me, I'm like scared out of my mind.
And she hands me a note.
I'm like, oh my God, she's written me a note.
Am I supposed to give this to somebody?
And then I get in my classroom and I like,
I sit down, I got my book out
and then I open this thing up
and it says, will you go with me?
Oh my God.
Will you go with me?
What a phrase.
I couldn't compute it. it okay i wonder when it changed from will you go
with me to will you go out with me because my because my gen is go out yeah high school you
say go out but in junior high it was go with well in elementary too they're going together are you
going with her oh yeah yeah but it's funny because. Like the 60s. They go together.
My therapist really, really has isolated that moment.
Like he knew immediately that moment was a very seminal moment in my life.
Because of semen?
No, I didn't have semen yet.
Seminal moment.
Seminal moment and recognizes that like,
that was the first huge transcending of real life high.
And there it begins, kind of.
Like your first drink.
Right.
It's like an addiction thing.
It's not even that
because I think that's so,
that feels dismissive
as like it's a pathology
like addiction is.
Well, that's,
you just made it a drink.
I was just going off what you were saying.
Because that's the only thing I can compare it to.
But he's not saying that that's an addiction.
It's just the first time you feel the power of something that regulates you in a way that really nothing else can or has.
that really nothing else can or has.
But the reason I am hesitant to call that an addiction or put that in the exact same category
is like there is no need for alcohol consumption
on planet Earth.
There is a need for love and connection.
There's a need for love and connection,
but there's not a need for the high.
So that is- They're not mutually exclusive.
For some people, they are, and that can be addictive. That's what SLA is all about.
Not everyone, love and connection- I think a lot of people that are with somebody felt that
and are with that person, and they're not a love addict or a sex addict.
I'm just being very careful to delineate.
That wash of emotions and regulation doesn't mean addiction.
It can be then exploited to become one.
But don't you think the wash of emotion isn't indicative of an addiction,
but the regulation is?
isn't indicative of an addiction, but the regulation is? No, I think if you snort cocaine, it has a predictable outcome.
It's a real outcome.
It's measurable in the chemicals now in your brain.
Now, becoming addicted to that is you then doing that over and over again
to regulate, to use it as a tool of regulation.
Yeah.
And then use it habitually and compulsively and against your better wishes.
Now, that's an addiction.
But the first thing, the feeling that cocaine gives you isn't addiction.
Right.
That's what I'm trying to say.
And the feeling, the wash of love and approval and being seen and being special.
That's not addiction.
I can then develop that into an addiction.
But I wouldn't just say that those feelings are in and of themselves an addiction.
Yeah, I think I just said that.
The feeling, the emotion, that's not an addiction. But the regulation is when it transfers over right when you start using that
pathologically compulsively and but okay we love sasha for making you real oh man what a moment
i didn't think that was in my future yeah when you're sitting in class and like the bell's about
to ring and you know the very
next thing is you're meeting sasha by the buses because she's going to get on her bus to go home
and you're going to get on yours yeah what a thrilling thing to look forward to yeah oh it's
so fun yeah i didn't have that i wanted it sorry you didn't have it it I wanted it. Sorry you didn't have it. It was really fun.
Okay.
So how many times have you been on Kimmel?
You have been on.
Twice.
26 times, according to your IMDb.
I think that's bigger than my even guest while we were in the interview.
You said 20.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Usually I'm exaggerating.
No, yeah.
26. It's very rare that you come on and tell me I was light.
It was even higher.
Let's see.
Ellen, 21, which makes sense.
Really?
I thought Ellen would be our highest.
I wouldn't have just because I had been doing those other shows for so much longer before I started doing Ellen.
Yeah.
But you guys were on Ellen a lot.
Mm-hmm.
That's the only one of those that I hosted when she was gone.
I hosted an episode.
Yeah, Kirsten did both.
She's done it all.
She hosted both those shows, yeah.
In my time, in my era.
Yeah.
I got to be there.
All right, well, I think we've done it.
Molly's lovely.
We love her so much.
It was really fun.
Often the show is in a compartment.
It's the job.
Mind you, the job is super fun.
I'm not saying that.
But sometimes it's actually a real shared life experience.
And this Molly episode felt much more like something we did as friends that I'll remember forever.
You just felt it was more like.
The experience feels like it gets filed into her nice personal life instead of into my professional life in some way.
Which is the way my mom was.
I see. Or that Aaron.
You know, like there's something about this episode that felt very much like something interpersonal.
I love that.
I liked it a lot.
Yeah.
All right.
Good night.
Good night.
Good night.
Good night.
Good night.
Good night.