Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard - Mom's Car: Jedidiah Jenkins

Episode Date: October 13, 2026

On this week’s episode of Mom’s Car we welcome Jedidiah Jenkins (Go Quiet on the Mountain, Mother, Nature, To Shake the Sleeping Self). Jedidiah, Dax, and Best Friend Aaron Weakley talk through texting punchlines to David Sedaris, driving through a blizzard while Aaron slept for 29 hours, finding love 58 miles outside your comfort zone, Jedidiah’s sexual Rumspringa in his 30s, the difference between being desired and doing the desiring, sex that requires a construction crew, and the house tour that made Dax realize he was using sex like a drug.Check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds: https://www.allstate.com/  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Welcome to Mom's Car. I'm Dachshedford. I am Aaron Weekly. And today we have Jedediah Jenkins. We love Jedediah Jenkins. He was one of the greatest guests on Armchair Expert. He's also a very long-time friend. I adore him. He's also an incredible author. He has three books, Mother Nature, to Shake the Sleeping Self, Like Streams to the Ocean. And he's got a new book, Look for It Coming Out in early 2027, Go Quiet on the Mountain. The Power, of stepping away from a world that never stops. We love Jed. We do. We talk about a lot of sex in this one, so it's juicy. Please enjoy, Jedediahe-Dinkans. This episode is brought to you by Allstate. Checking Allstate First could save you hundreds on car insurance.

Not checking the dress code at the new restaurant. Showing up in sandals and getting turned away at the door. No fun at all. Yeah, checking first is always a good move. So check Allstate First for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability,

all state North American insurance company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. We are supported by Uber Eats. Boom, boom, boom. In need of groceries, Uber Eats has you covered. From last minute ingredients to weekly essentials, get groceries delivered in as little as 25 minutes with Uber Eats. Get groceries delivered with Uber Eats. Terms apply, CAP for details.

Now, let's get into the show. What I find so funny is I've spent a lot of time in Japan because my partner is Japanese. What's so interesting about him is like we rented a car recently and then before we go, he's like, oh, we have to go to the car wash and vacuum and clean the car. I go, what? He's like, we're not returning this car dirty. I'm like, it's a rental. And then if you saw it at the World Cup, the Japanese fans clean when they leave,

it's a cultural mindset of like leave a place better than you found it, which is obviously incredible. Yeah, it's incredible. It is. Yeah, there's another Sedaris thing. He talks about being over there and he watches a woman whose little boy wants to put her hands on the glass of the subway. So first she puts down a towel that was in her purse so he can put his knees on the armrest. And then when he's done, she cleans the window. This was just in his newest book about how terrible parents are in the U.S. Do you, okay, this is a question. So Sedaris famously has his little pocket notebook. And he at all times, doesn't matter what's going on. He's making a little note about any interesting thing. Do you do that in your life in terms of, like, building out guests and questions? Like, are you, do you have a version of that? No, but I've been with him and watched him jot down stuff, and I go, like, God, I got to start doing that. Can you tell what he's jotting down, or is it random?

Lucifer's. It's, oh, my favorite pizza. It's backwards. Okay. Yeah, I've been meaning to do that. I wish I could do that. But what's funny is now I think of jokes and I send him to him. Like, I just, now if I think, like, the normally, he's writing down funny little sentences that he hears, mostly, is what I've been able to claim from it.

And so, yeah, I just texted him the other day, like I thought of, I'm a great name for firefighter pants called, oh, it's going to kill me. And then just the other day, I was like, God, why don't I have that written down? Oh, yeah. I like that he physically writes it down. There's something I love about the tactile of, like, having a little ledger of all your little observations versus just some file on your phone. I kind of model the whole thing out, and I kind of feel like I already know where it's going to go. I'm going to write all these things down.

I'm going to put them in some drawer. When I get inspired to write, I'm not going to be able to find the thing that I wanted. You know, what page is that thing on? I'm just very, yeah, yeah. I'm very suspicious of how well I would be able to use. Have you heard the Woody Allen thing about the drawer? No, tell me that. My understanding is that he, having made so many films,

he has a drawer of, like, trinkets, like the everything drawer that everyone has. Okay. He had it next to his bed or whatever, and he would, once a year, maybe January 1st or whatever, he would open the drawer and pull out one of the things he put and write a script based on that object. Wow. He'll just keep things like weird little trinkets or whatever, and then whatever that year's script is, and that is the jumping off point. Well, that's amazing.

I don't know if it's true, but it's something. It's a truthy-try, yummy truth. Like, I've been meaning to text Sedaris for two days because I thought that the greatest nickname for Trudeau, the Canadian ex-prime minister, would be John F. Canada. Isn't that good? And I don't really write like that.

Somebody has to have said that it's too good. I know, and I thought of it. I'm like, it's got to be out there. And I haven't done any research. search to see if it is. But I also came up with another one a couple years ago, which was, did you hear that Forbes just announced the richest man in Mexico? It's not, oh. This is my favorite. Is it Carla Slim or what are you going to say? Jeff Pesos.

I'll never not laugh at him. So like, I immediately text him now, right? And he's like, I can't wait to start saying that. Is that his style of comedy? Oh, yeah, he loves wordplay. Like Gunderpants. He's really main. He saw that there were underwear specifically designed for shooters, and he was so mad that they weren't called gunderpants. What is the underwear doing? Do you want to get the pizza? Probably some compression situation.

I have no idea. Maybe you can tuck your pistol in them. I don't know what it does, but the underwear was designed for shooters, and he saw it when he went shooting with his sister, it was like in a catalog of things. Have you ever shot like a major gun? I've literally shot every gun on planet. Earth because I've done two USO tours.

And when you're there, you're kind of reward for that is they let you fire every fuck. I've shot an RPG over my shoulder. Standing? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Standing. How does it not knock you over? That's not the issue.

The issue is it's so loud. It's a rocket that's one inch from your ear. And when that thing rips out of the tube, it's pretty, and even with an ear plug-in, it was like, oh, that's damaging to you. What gun has the gnarliest kickback? Well, I've shot AK-47 over there. I shot a fully auto-grenade launcher.

So, do, do-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d. And in the desert, it's just fucking grenades are going off. I fired the howitzer, the fucking enormous cannon that lobs a shell this big. Yeah, you got to pull a cord in it shoots. What are you firing that? I was on a KBIA Mountain. I was shooting actually into Pakistan on the border of Afghanistan. There you go.

And, um... Okay, what do we learn now? Now we're going to eat a pizza. a small pizza between us three. In your life, both of your lives, do you find you're the driver or being driven? This is great. I am 100% the driver when I'm not with Dex.

When I'm with Dex, I'm 100% of the time, the passenger. And even when I offer, like, we're out on the boat pretty often together. And I'm like, you want to drive the boat? And he's like, no, I love sitting here. Just checking out of the scenery. Like, I don't really want to deal with having to think about hitting logs

and shit. I feel a little bad because he never gets a break. But I don't want one. But he doesn't want one relationship. Yeah, I really enjoy the... This role started when we're very young. So I love this and I would never, ever be a passenger anywhere else. Tell them about our trip home from Salt Lake City. You know, we lived in a car for six months when we graduated high school.

I was like, I was fulfilling my on-the-road dreams, right? We lived in his 1984 Mustang. Sleps where? We met people. We stayed in dorm rooms in Isla Vista at Santa Barbara. I mean, the reason I live in California is this trip. Like, we made friends in Santa Barbara, friends everywhere. It's Ascadero.

We were. Oh, that was beautiful. Yeah, we occasionally slept in a field. Yeah, we had a tent. Yeah, mountains, fields. Yeah, Mount Charleston. Make a movie about that. Because that's also a cool time period to see the movie at.

There was funny times from doing that trip. I can't imagine the hijinks that ensued. The last part of our trip was we're going to Salt Lake City to see our friends that were in these punk rock bands, and so we're going to fucking party. And then from there, head home, which is about a 30-hour drive to Detroit. We took off. I fell asleep. It was a blizzard. Did you drive that whole life on the road, or did you split? Not once.

He didn't drive one time in six months. I think I drove someone else's car along the way And you may have even driven the Mustang without me To drive someone's over Like an established role It was a natural expression of what you want Yeah, I may have went to the store While he was staying somewhere

Yeah, it never happened where he was on the side But it was a fucking horrendous blizzard And you know the storms moved west to east, right? Oh, so you're driving with it Yes So go ahead and get on the other side of it And the must thing was being a little finicky.

We had blown the rear end the day before and had we had no money and I get the rear end replaced by this guy. And there was a whole thing with the double clutching, the shift. It was a whole process to drive it at this point. And rear

wheel drive. So the fucking thing had no weight. Rear wheel drive, big motor. So it did not want to be in a blizzard. I fishedled for 36 hours. It was zero visibility. Pure white knuckles, stress, bloodshot eyes.

It's a mix. You know, I kind of live for that. So I kind of am loving the challenge. I'm watching semis fly off the road. I'm watching people in four by fours not going as fast as we are. You know, so I love it. No, it is. You're from Detroit.

You can drive in the snow unlike many other people. And my identity is that I'm a great driver. So it's like, here's how I prove. Here's an opportunity to prove that. Suffice to say after 30 hours of me, yeah, I was pretty fucking fried. I fell asleep in Salt Lake. I didn't wake up until we were an hour from home. 29 hours?

What do you mean? At least, at least that. And I couldn't keep my eyes open. Well, he wakes up and it's still snowing, so I think he thinks it might be in Wyoming or something, right? He goes, where are we? I go, dude, we're a fucking hour from home. God bless you. I could be in the center of the earth.

so far from light, and at eight hours, I will spring awake, and my entire body will hurt and tell me to get out of bed. I couldn't agree more. And wait till you're my age. That goes down to about five and a half hours, where it's just like, I'm too uncomfortable. My body aches everywhere. Get me out. I peed three times.

I've woken up to pee, and then finally I go, fuck it. And let's just go. Let's just fucking get up. Get it over with. This is dystopian, but you know how, like, Spotify does Spotify wrapped? And it's like, you listened to Whitney Houston. 39 hours, I want a annual wrap of everything. Oh, that would be great.

How many times did I say fuck this year? How long was I on the toilet this year? Yeah. Wouldn't that be the coolest searchable database? Yes, yes. Yes. Oh, we gotta be close. Oh, totally.

But then also, like, let's say you date somebody and you fall in love and you're dating them and then you can go, have I ever been close to this person before and I didn't realize it? And that shows you, you guys were at Disneyland in two, 2015 and you were two meters away and you didn't realize. Well, even model out all the different things that would happen within your arguments with your partner. Because all partners make these statements. Like, you're always on your Instagram or you're always do this and you always do that. And to be able to just go, hey, how off, you know, what percentage do I do that?

Sorry, that's bullshit. Now let's talk realistically about it. Because everyone's exaggerating it all time. You get an end of the year report of what's the truth and then you can fight. And it'll sell nothing because it's a, it's a whole nothing. because it's emotions always, but you'll think you're now clear. It doesn't really matter if you are or not.

They feel that you are, and that's what needs to be addressed. Do you catch your, do you please yourself when you're arguing with your partner? When you go like, I say those statements, right? Like, no, you're always, and I go, you're often? Yeah. I try to be moral about it. So this is the challenge. So I'm two years in, and we have had constructive conversations, but no real arguments.

He's Japanese and he's very... Conflict adverse. Conflict adverse, and so am I, but we're also very conversation forward. Like, I don't want to go to that party. Okay. Oh, okay. Like, and maybe it's because we're older.

That sounds lovely. Now, do you run into this, though? My friend Nate produced a movie in Japan, and he said that something he noticed culturally pretty quick, which was so hard to deal with for us, is that often they just say yes, no matter what, But they didn't mean yes. And if you were Japanese, you would have seen the other...

The nuance. Newance things that are going on, that was really a note. But he's just hearing yes, and then the thing's not happening. And someone's explaining, like, well, no, he looked this way when he said yes. You know, all these intricate things.

And generally, they're not going to say no. There's a word for this, and I'm forgetting the name. It's these amazing Japanese words. Japanese people have three faces. They have the face they show the world. Uh-huh. The face they show their close friends and the face only they know.

And the very famous Japanese culture that we all know is that outward face of, thank you very respectful, very sweet. But that is not the truth. Inside, it's a war zone. Yeah, yeah. They're having a lot of feelings. Yeah. So I've been very trepidious.

Trepidious around that with him. Do you feel like you're with a ticking time bomb sometimes? Well, I do. I wonder. I really wonder. I don't think I am, but I could be. So, stay down. Feels untenable to me.

We will, I mean, it will very much see. Okay, so also there's a pretty good-sized language barrier, right? Because Kristen Mehta, he does not speak a ton of English. He does. It's new. He does. Maybe not out and about. He is shy around his English, around new people.

Okay. It makes him clam up in it. When I don't even clock the language very, except that it's cute when he won't be able to pronounce parsley. Sure, sure. How does he say parsley? Passery. Oh, lovely. I would ask him to say

posse pottery all day. Yeah, well, try to get him to say heated rivalry and it's a war zone that you cannot imagine. I just saw like a trend on either Instagram. I know how on TikTok,

so it must have been Instagram, but yeah, Asian people trying to say a specific word, I wish. Refrigerator is really hard. I think that's what it was. They can't even... It's so cute.

Yes, and they, many of them can't even attempt it, right? It's like how I felt growing up trying to read words. Like, oh, I don't even have a guess of how this starts. Oh, there's Japanese words that he'll say that I can't even begin to make my tongue go.

They did this little like, this little dance. So how did you guys meet? We met on Tinder. I expanded my radius. To Japan. Yeah, I was just like, well, that's, you know, that's how riot is. This is worldwide. Ria is worldwide, which is, like, annoying because then if you're, like, matching with someone

in Hong Kong, what now? Yeah, yeah. They're assuming you're so global. whatever, but no. You're constantly on a jet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, like, the weird mentality I had was I would have my thing set to five miles a circle around my house.

And I'm thinking, what if the love of my life is five and a half miles away? Yeah, Jed, that seems very narrow. Well, but it's annoying to drive far. Okay. So then I drive. You know, I'd go on a bunch of dates on those five miles and then I would make it ten miles. It's also you're airing your privilege of living in L.I. Like, if you were gay in the middle of Iowa,

No, no, no. Your fucking radius would have to be like a thousand miles. Totally. Yeah, yeah. Five miles. Like, there's, there's, there's, and there is, there's enough dudes within five miles every good. It is?

No problem. Now that I am partnered, I actually, I do not miss the apps at all, except for this one element, which is getting on an app and seeing how different gays are in different parts of this country. Okay. Yeah. Like, you go to Nashville and you open it up and it is like, yellow polos grooming, like, they're all Christian traumatized, but they want to like present, they have like, rosacea, they're like pale, they're stressed out.

Or they're like trying to be this like performance, performance Morgan Wallen beast. It's like this really interesting cultural expression, and I miss checking in on that. I'll reference the Bill Burr joke, right? He's telling this great story in his Red Rock standout. He's in town shooting a movie, playing a firefighter. So he gets up working, he's walking back to his hotel.

So he's had this huge mustache, and he's in like shorts or whatever. And then he realizes, oh, it's also Pride Week in Manhattan. He's like, well, clearly everyone's like, yeah, that dude's a fucking gay dude. He's got this huge mustache, whatever. He goes, and then I see this lesbian walking at me. I know, how do I know she's a lesbian? The same way you do. And when he turned to that way, I was like, that is so brilliant.

Everyone thinks they know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I will say the times that I've been pretty confused, it is exactly the super sweet Christian boy. Because again, I don't have a ton of familiarity with that Christian world, but so often I'm like, I don't know, super Christian loves Jesus or gay? Yeah, no. That was a little, and a lot of the hard guy. Yeah, yeah.

You know, you said something years ago that I think about a lot, which was there was somebody that we knew that was like coming out as bisexual. And you go, they're gay. And I go, I don't know. I think they're bisexual. And you go, you ask me the question, you go, have you ever seen a man that we're, was straight who comes out as by that does not slide all the way to gay and then stay gay. Do they ever go back and date a girl after that? Like once they've gone gay, do they ever go back? And I said, I have never seen that now.

Well, and I ended up talking to that person. And we're close enough for me to say this. I'm like, is it possible that it feels a little less shocking to your family and a little more comforting that you still have a foot in this other world? And he said, I don't know. I don't think it's that. He goes, I like boobs. And I go, okay. There are two. Behind one door is a dude with a six-pack and a 10-inch dick, and on the other door, there's a girl with really buoyant sea boobs. Are you ever walking into the door with the boobs? And he goes, no, I'm not. That's good.

And that's fine. That's great. That's great. I love it. In fact, I like it more. No competition with you now. You're very charming. Stay tuned for more Mom's Car.

We are supported by Allstate. Checking Allstate First could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking that your best man's speech is in your jacket pocket. You wrote it weeks ago. Practice it in the mirror. But now you're up there, 200 people staring at you, completely winging it, sweating through your rental tucks. Yikes. Yeah, checking first is always the right move.

So check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North America. insurance company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. This is an interesting question, but I would love to know how you fall, both of you. This is a made-up analysis, but I think that there's so many types of sexuality that we, like,

force things on to binaries and trinaries and whatever, but like, I've met people that are turned on by being attractive. And so they are straight, but they have had gay experiences because they're hot, and they are turned on by being hot. I can totally relate to that observation, because... What is hot to me is that you're horny for me. Like when people get into like, oh, she's not this or her feet weren't that. I'm like, I don't even know what you're talking about. Like, for me, like, if I make someone horny, that is so exciting.

We're going to have a very fun time. Like, that is the most important aspect to me. It's just like, if you're super hot for me, I find that very attractive and I would like to be with that. I want to be with someone who wants to be with me. Yeah. That's gonna be way more fun. I want to consume. I don't care to be consumed. And I think that has a lot to do with maybe like not feeling like I was part of the game or ashamed of my body growing up or whatever it was.

It's like, I was always looking from afar and being like, I want that. Right, right. And so I want to devour it. I want to devour it. And I don't even consider being devoured. What about you? I'm actually pretty much with that. I know that excitement and feeling. Of being adored and desired. Yes. And I will look past maybe a lot of things you might otherwise.

Yeah, that I would normally look at the far and go, if you're just looking at pictures. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, if you're looking at pictures, and that's probably why I'm glad I wasn't in the app world. I have been very superficial in the past, and I did a little stint in the fucking app world, yeah. But do you know what I'm saying, Jed?

Like, if the guy looking at you, you can see in his face, he's so hot for you and so horny for you. Isn't that so, does that not give you though? No, trust me it does, but I still am in a healing journey with that. Okay. Like, because I get that from my partner. And like, and sometimes he's like ready to eat me and it's scary. I'm like, oh, my God.

Yeah, and then this is very revealing, but this is true, my sexuality. Like, when I watch porno, this is the best way to describe it. When I watch porn, where the dudes just clearly doing the thing he wants, to do and he's fucking making the girl choke and all this stuff. I'm not turned on at all. The pornography that gets me really excited is like, if I really buy into the fact that the woman's super horny and actually orgasmmy, and by the way, you got to dig through the haystack.

Oh, Mike, I was going to say, that is rare. It's just so clearly a performance and they're not getting any pleasure out of it. And this is probably a selfish desire, but maybe sex is inherently selfish. My dream is that they think I was the best that they ever had. I want to give them the platinum package. and I hope that they'll walk away going, that was the best experience I ever had. And I want that way more than I want to come.

Yeah. Like, I've even talked to friends of mine who have, like, we'll talk about ecstasy and sex is so fun on ecstasy, yet you can't come generally. Right, yeah. And so people go, like, oh, I kind of hate it because you can't come. And I'm like, I'm the opposite. I'm like, I can't come.

All I can do is provide pleasure, and I can observe the pleasure. And it's the best sex you can have for me. I've heard that, like, there's also two ways of watching porn, you're the person doing the thing or you're imagining you're the person being done upon. Oh, okay. Like you want to be the person that's being done.

Providing ultimate pleasure. Well, and I've experienced that. It's very interesting. In the gay world, there's tops and there's bottoms and then there's verse. Do you know these things? Yes, I do. We were taught that.

Okay. And are they percentage-wise, my understanding, it is predominantly bottoms on the apps? I think so. Well, bottoms, generally, this is obviously a major generalization. Bottoms, they carry with them a more forward feminine energy because they want to receive rather than deliver. And that feminine energy is often harder to assimilate into heteronormative society, and so they generally are more out there. A lot of like heteronormative tops can like hide or are still ashamed of

their sexuality and they're doing this, this, and I love Pasadena. Yeah, this is gorgeous. I love a bungalow with my whole heart. Oh, there it is. There it is. Oh. Oh. There's a lot going on in there. The Boo Radley House? You know, I'm obsessed with houses, so I look in all these different accounts that have houses. And by God, there was a fucking house for sale the other day here in Pasadena. It's on a goddamn lake. I'm like, there's a lake in Pasadena.

I love Pasadena. What? All right, let's deliver some Uber each, shall we? They have a big antenna. Oh, and they seem to be breeding chihuahuas. That's scary. Did he give him the Coke? Oh, there he goes.

Look it here. He realized. Oh, he really did hear you. What was there? Have you ever been attacked by a dog? Yeah. In a real way, like blood? Oh, yeah.

Like a dog jumped out of a picture window. How big? Like a fucking movie. A German Shepherd. Huh? When I was five. Were you scared of dogs forever? No.

I guess I was. You were. I was. You were. Yeah, yeah. It was, I'm sure I've told you this long the way, but it was my neighbor in the Roe Lake neighborhood. Oh, sure.

Yeah. Very, very low-income neighborhood. They had most dogs roamed the neighborhood, but this one was particularly mean and vicious. And, you know, that's a status symbol. Had a taste for anus africanus. Yeah, you did. Caucasian Afrikanus. Anus Caucasus.

Anyway, he fucking jumped through the window, through a big, like broke it? Square picture window. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Jump through it. Like, it wasn't even there. And he fucking ripped me off that bike and just fucking started tearing into my leg. And how did you get away?

My dad was there. Yeah. But it was really violent. I fucking love dogs. Yeah. And I can't even. I know. You have gorgeous dogs, don't you?

Yes. Like doodily, gorgeous. The stupidest. The stupidest doodles, yes, of course. Who doesn't have a doodle nowadays? Okay, I have a question. I don't know if you use X. I don't know why I still do it.

It's just because of all the people I follow where it's still there. If I watch a video on X, it auto, it's trying to be TikTok. You know, it auto plays another one. Yeah. Every single time, it's like I'll be watching, like, Project Runway or some, like, cute, gay thing, and then it swipes up to, like, the most brutal street fight I've ever seen. It must know that I want to watch this. Yeah.

I have the same algorithm. And so. So anyway, it showed this video of a pit bull grabbing onto like a five-year-old's leg and a playground, but the adults are scared of the pit bull, too. So they're like taking like a broom and going, oh, trying to tap the pit bull. And I'm thinking, what should an adult do? Like, am I supposed to headlock, like jump on the bat? Like, what would you do?

There's an answer. So if you don't have a hose, I hate being sprayed with water, right? So you're supposed to spray them with a hose. And in the absence of that you're supposed to put your thumb up their ass. If you put your thumb in their ass while that's happening, they'll stop. I'm told. That's supposed to be. This is major update.

Because you're not getting those jaws apart. They're locked in. Yeah, channel locks. Yeah. But wait, when I got out of the car, you were starting to tell me about, okay, you guys know there's tops and there's bottoms. Oh, yeah, yeah, we're back. In verse.

And Jess tells me that verse is generally a lie. No, I'm verse. Oh, okay. Right. But so here's what's so interesting about this. So I always thought I was top. I also come from a Christian background. or whatever, where it was so embarrassing to be gay,

and so you want to be masculine. I'll do the fucking around here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The least gay version of gay. And so I always thought I was an exclusive top, and then I was dating a guy who he was also an exclusive top. And this is what's interesting is like, early in the dating app era, you didn't say what you were.

Okay. You just were a guy, you're a guy. Now a lot of these places you say it. Uh-huh. Especially on a hookup app, like Grindr, yeah. But it's also limiting because some people, like, you think you're a top, and then I dated this guy, and he,

wanted to top me and I was so in love with him. I was like, oh, okay, like let's try. I mean, people, these loud bottoms seem to love this. So what do they know? And apparently, and apparently our G spot is up there. Yeah, yeah. So let's find out. Yeah. So anyway, and it was so profound. Like, by the, I mean, obviously it heard, whatever, I got there. Yeah. But like, the act of receiving someone inside you is so spiritually different than putting yourself in someone else. trust involved and all that. It is, and I can't get pregnant. Yeah, yeah.

But it's like that act, and it felt weirdly so much more powerful. Like, I was like, I decide if you can come in here. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was like so, it expanded my worldview. And I was like, everybody that doesn't do this is like missing a major, like, code. Yeah, yeah. But then I'm still predominantly a top. Right, right, right.

But it was a ton of sense to me. It was a very profound exchange to learn. in your 30s. I was like, wow, there's like parts of my body that I didn't even know were there. And then there's all these people in the world who have no idea. Yeah, like a friend of mine, I won't say his name, but the one who's informed me on most of my knowledge. Yeah, his thing is he rides guys and he is either jerking off or they jerk him off. And I was like, yeah, that sounds fucking radical. Like, you have, things are happening everywhere. Yeah, that sounds like an all-encompassing experience to be riding a dick and just.

A little jealous. Totally. It's fun to think that you have a sexual life. And then as you're learning and you're experiencing and trying new things with your own body and with theirs, like, it's kind of a fun. And you're also getting into the magic of sex, which is, I think it's this opportunity

to physically display the level of trust you have that the other person loves you and likes you. And there's nothing you could do that would be gross or disgusting or off-putting. It's like each layer, like, I remember we were watching that great show, Beef, the first season. And there was this super hot sex scene. And, like, they spit in each other's mouths. And that became a big topic in our circle.

And we were like, I don't get. It's so disgusting. I'm going to get it. And I go, that's the point. It's so offensive and gross. But two people have agreed that they trust each other to do. Like, that's, don't you see? That's what's happening.

Like, that's cool. They want to become one. Take all my fluid. Take everything I've got. And all the things I would never do because I'd be embarrassed. I'm going to let you see. Like, it's a real display. of trust, and I think it's rad.

I mean, I would never be interested in BDSM, but that's like it at its zenith, right? Right. Like, you have the ability right now. I'm constrained. You could hurt me. I trust you so much that I know you can take me right to the point of almost hurting me,

but I know you, you know, like, I get it intellectually what's going on. I have a friend who's really, I don't know what it's called. He's really into being tied up. There's a term. Like, where he's, like, hung like a chandelier. Oh, wow.

And it's like, it's like, I mean, I can't even. Who has the time for this sex? That's my first thought of like, this is a construction project. It's more, it's not sex. It's like, it's like, it's sexually energized, but it's not, nothing's happening. He just like loves it. Yeah. And I'm like, wow, there's so many things going on in our psyche.

Yeah. Like, we are, consciousness skips along the surface of what's really going on. Yeah. Which I love. Sometimes I feel so normal. Kind of boring. I know, right? Yeah.

I'm like, can't a guy just hop on me? Missionary pump a couple times. I always said I was crazy, but until the fucking all this camera internet, I'm like, oh, I guess I'm not even crazy at all. Okay, so back to your partner. How far did you expand your radius? Obviously not to Tokyo, but I made it to 60 miles, which is as big as you can go. Okay, 60 miles. And he was 58 miles away.

Oh my. No way, Jed. I mean, there's confirmation bias there because, I mean, that is as far as you can go. But, like, then I met him and we fell in love. But it's like, if I hadn't, I would have kept expanding my radius in other ways. So it's like... That is the thing that worked for you, so now that's the solution. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's like you find your keys where they last were. It's like, the search is over. Yeah, yeah, right, right. So I remember I got really mystery sick when my first book came out. What's mystery sick? Meaning, I went to the ER 10 times and I did every test. They drained me of my blood and they couldn't solve it. What were your symptoms?

I lost 30 pounds. I would sweat a bucket of sweat every night. I would sleep on six towels and peel them away throughout the night. It was like dengue fever. And it would shake. And it was like six weeks. Okay. And then my book came out and it went away.

Yeah. Oh, wow. Which is my friends, like it's psychosomatic. You were so afraid that this book was going to blow up your life that your body was trying to stop you. Yeah. Yeah. All this is saying, I went back to the doctor for my like final checkup. And I was like, well, do you want to keep doing these tests to figure out what?

And she goes, no, like, you probably don't want to. It's expensive. And like, it went away. She's like, this happens all the time. People don't want to keep going to the hospital, so they just stop. And then they never solve it. She was like, this is a tale's oldest time. There's so many mystery things.

You know, I had an expert on, and she was a neurologist in England. And, of course, the National Health Service there, you have better access to group data and stuff. So what she had found in neurology was that 30% of the people having seizures did not have epilepsy. And in fact, you would go like, okay, so it's psychosomatic. And she's like, that term really means nothing. They're having seizures. And in fact, people who don't have epilepsy who have seizures have them more often. It's actually worse.

And our treatment currently is just to go like, well, you don't have epilepsy. So it's all in your head. And then people's like, well, now what? Right. Right? I'm still suffering. And her whole thing was like, we've got to figure out how to treat these people. And this notion that's like psychosomatic is you throw that away.

She said she started talking to other department heads. And she said, even the cardiology department, 30% of all heart attacks are not results of heart disease. And it's almost standard of this 30% number is psychosomatic. But it's like, who cares? Right. But it still happens. 30% is a huge amount. Yes.

A good deal of the people they're seeing, they don't have a treatment for. You need cognitive behavioral therapy. You need all these different things. And so we're ill-equipped to deal with those people. We're just like, get them out of here. I deal with epilepsy I can treat with this drug, you know, stints for this. And so they just don't have any tools, but it's a huge percentage of people suffering from these things. Aaron, are you in a relationship?

That's wild. Yeah, I'm married. Do you have doggy children? Do you have human children? I have human children with my ex-wife. How old are they? 14, 15, 19. Are you guessing, or is that...

No. Is that one person or is that... You know, it's, well, I don't know if you know, but, like, I start thinking how close my one daughter is the 16, and I, and I, and I want to say, six, I'm like, no, she's still 15. And you start trying to do the math of when this episode will come up. Yeah, I'm like, I don't want to get it wrong. Yeah, I was 40. I was 40 for two years because I was like, I'm basically 40. Yeah.

Right, right. But yeah, Jed, I got sober almost seven years ago. And the reason I'm saying it is a year after I got sober, I met. my now wife, and she was living out here in Long Beach. She now lives in Michigan. So, yeah, it's been awesome. I love your word choice there. You said, my now wife.

I hear sometimes people say my current wife, which seems to imply it might not be proven there, right? But I can easily say current wife. It feels natural to say, but when I hear it, I'm always like, that doesn't feel terribly committed. My wife for now. Yeah.

So anyway, we've been, today's wife is. We're kind of, not quite newly, but it's been a few years now, four years. That leads me to my question, which I want to ask you both, is now that I have a good thing that's going well, and I've been on such a journey. I was like, virgin till I was 30, had my first kiss at 28, like. Listen to the Amchair Expert episode with Jed. Yeah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But so I was, and then I spent my 30s as my rum spring at tasting the rainbow and having my heart broken left and right. And then I really found this guy, which is really going well.

But I really also feel like there's some. I had to go down all those avenues and try all those things and get hurt by them to realize and reach 40 where I really felt something shift. And I was like, why am I chasing idiots when I should be chased? Why shouldn't I accept? Like, would you say with the amazing women in your life, you reached a place where you could receive them or they were just always going to be met for you if you met them when you were 19? Did it matter what place you were? Well, this has been explaining me by several gay friends of mine, and I really do co-sign on this, which is so often,

you were having the relationships I had in seventh grade. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And in ninth grade, and, you know. Exactly. But by the time I graduated, you know, that girlfriend I had in my senior year, we were together for five years. I was a very substantial relationship. You learn a lot.

And then when I meet Bree in my 20s, I've already had a five-year-reli. So it's like, yeah, of course you are learning to value yourself. wait to someone that really is into you, is indie, all those kind of things. But I think you really figured that out in high school really kind of quickly. I think you get burned. Yeah, yeah. You realize you were an idiot. You know, all these things are accelerated, I think, if you're straight and growing up in the 80s.

You're probably where I was at, you know, when I met Bree, you know, who I was with for nine years. Yeah. Have you seen this data? I think this is really, really, there's a lot of comedy in it. There's a lot of social science in it. You know this divorce rate statistics that are out? Like 51% or what? I don't know.

Oh, no. What do you think is the highest divorce rate? Oh, like between groups? Yeah. Straight people? Lesbians. Really? They have the highest divorce rate.

Who do you think second? I mean, don't know. It's smart. Who would you think would be second? Well, I thought straight people. Yeah, right. So you've got to go straight people now, right? Yeah, straight people.

And then gay men have the lowest divorce. Which is shocking. And I think that's very counterintuitive, right? And I've talked to a few friends of mine. who are gay and in relationships, and I've asked how would they explain that? And I want to know what your explanation. I have a theory.

Yeah. Yeah, hit me. Because we don't have a biological clock, I don't think we're in a hurry to get married, so you're probably not getting married at 23. And so you're actually having lots of sexual experiences. So if you are going to settle down with someone, you've had all the sex you want for now.

Then you settle down, and now you've actually found a partner that works well for your life, and they have good interior design taste, and they like nice sushi. Sure, sure. So then it's actually in gay culture not that big of a deal to be like, should we sleep around a little bit and I'll just see it tonight? I would say that's biological because it must be a biological response by a female to be like,

don't sleep around because, A, you're going to impregnate someone else or I could get impregnated. Like, that's not fun for me. And we've had to think that way for three million years. So, like, it's new to be free in that way. But gay men don't have that fear. So it doesn't create that same sense of, like, you're abandoning. me. I love that theory. Stay tuned for more mom's car. Aaron, you're making dinner for a friend and you're ordering groceries on Uber Eats. What is the signature dish you're going to hit them with?

Pot roast. Oh, baby, I had it last night. I'm so glad you picked that. You knew I was going to say that. And guess what, girl, you were out of potatoes and you Uber eats those sons of guns. I Uber eats, potatoes, carrots, onions, some beef broth. It came in 25 and we came in 25 and we came. We killed the whole thing in 15? Yeah. Yeah. We are supported by Uber Eats. Do you love cooking but dislike having to find parking and wandering aisles trying to remember if you're actually out of certain ingredients? Because same. The good news is you can skip the grocery run and have what you need delivered in as little as 25 minutes with Uber Eats. Shop fresh produce, pantry essentials, and all that everyday good stuff from your favorite grocery stores. Whether you're stocking up for the week,

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See app for details. I'm glad I heard the first part. That's a very thoughtful part of. about the risk that you take on as a woman versus a man. Although in a lesbian relationship, that's not really that present. As far as like whether you're going to carry a child or not. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But the friends I've asked, they're like, well, yeah,

most long-term married gay guys, or many of them, let's say, are in open relationships. Yeah. And so I think that's wonderfully counterintuitive in a fun bit of data, right? I'm one of these, like, degenerate millennials where I watch a lot of YouTube. Like, I watch more YouTube. I remember there was, like, a, there was a stat that said YouTube just surpassed Netflix. It's more than all of the streamers combined. Incredible.

Yeah, yeah. So anyway, I contribute. My algorithm knows me so well, and it showed me this, like, animated history of homosexuality in ancient Rome. Okay. And I was like, click. Yeah, yeah. Because I want to know. Because also, when you're dealing with your sexuality and you live in the South and in Southern

Baptist culture. And I remember learning that everyone was gay in ancient Greece. So it's like, what's going on? Yeah. And it's always been to me a really interesting, hard to avoid fact when people say it's biological. So I'm like, it may be biological. It's also certainly cultural. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because the biology of Greek men didn't change. Right, right, right. But they don't do that, you know. Well, so. Christianity came along. This, I forget if it was Greece or Rome. I think it was Rome. Because it was Caesar's. So it was very common in ancient Rome. especially men of power, men of status, had tween prepubescent boys or early puberty boys as concubes, sex slaves, even though they were almost always married to a woman.

If you were a, like, prepubescent sex slave boy for a Caesar, it was very good for your standing in society. You could, like, kind of rise up there. It's like good for your family. You got to cut the line for the bread and shit, yeah. But some of these seizures would fall in love with these boys, of course. But they were saying it's actually hard to call them gay or straight because the sexuality back then was purely power-based.

Are you higher status, lower status, whatever? So that sort of like, what we were talking about earlier is like, do you find me sexy? It's like, are you powerful bestowing your attention on me? I'm aroused or whatever. Yeah. And back then, heterosexual sex was so dangerous because like one and three women died in childbirth. And so if you really loved your wife, you didn't have sex with her very often. Whoa.

You did it to have errors because you were afraid it would kill her. Wow. And so they would get their rocks off with these boys. And so there's so much. And then a lot of that's happening, and they're falling in love with these boys and they have concommodent, like, relationships with them, whatever. I thought that was so interesting.

Well, also, the other explanation I heard was like, you know, these war campaigns were sometimes five years that they would have left Rome or left Athens and they're out there going to, you know, fight whoever a fucking one year walk away. And then the battles are supposed. You know, whatever. Like, so they're all just with men. Yeah.

And then you get more the prison phenomena where there are men. I just had an expert around talking about this. Oh, I'm going to listen to that. Men that in prison, of course, are having sex with other men, but then they get out and they don't. So, you know, the flexibility of human sexuality is on display even right in front of us currently. And then back then, yeah, that makes sense. And it was, yeah, said to me that basically it was like older soldiers had younger soldier lovers. Yeah.

Because what the fuck else were they going to do for five years? Yeah. be sexual beings. I'm curious, like, in places when stigma is removed, what is the actual percentage of people that would experiment in play? Like, if there truly, there was no energy put towards it negative at all, it's just like, do whatever you want. I challenge myself with this, right? So, like, as you know, you've known me for 20, 19 years now. I was the one who took you to lunch and said, Jed, you got to be with other men. You cannot be, God does not want you be lonely your whole life. That cannot be the plan, right? It's so true. So I could have. So I could

to be more supportive of it. And even like, I try to watch a very popular show that was out recently that everyone loved. And when the gay sex starts, I'm just like, yeah, I don't enjoy watching this, right? Because I don't want to be doing that. So I can't put myself in either of these people's shoes. And then I do go, it's so weird that I've always been so comfortable with it. And yet, for me, it's just insanely clear that's not. Anything that would ever give me a boner.

I think that's the concept creep of. People being okay with it almost being like a tell that they are, where it's like I couldn't have had more pressure to be straight. Right. It would have been so socially beneficial. It would have been familially beneficial. And yet I cannot be with a woman and I'm not against it. Yeah. I love women and I'm glad they're beautiful to some people.

Sure, sure, sure. So all that to say, like, the spectrum is wide and there are many people clumped at the ends of the spectrum. But I'm curious how many people fall in the middle. Did you see the Charlie Sheen documentary? Yes. Fuck. Now that... What was a hit?

Don't say, because, I mean, we can talk about it as if you had. I actually don't hate spoilers when something's been out for a year. Oh, no. Yeah, and people will be like, don't say that. How long are we going to fucking wait for you? Like, you're fucking lazy and I'm going to now, I can't mount this topic for the rest of my life because you can't get around to watching Game of Thrones. Where do you fall on this line?

I think now we've reached it. There's a generation of people who have never seen. seen the Sixth Sense. Sure, sure. But I bet they know the ending of Sixth Sense. But what if they don't? They do. I think, I was just talking about this with Monica. The amount of books I could tell you about who wrote them, the title, what the book's about. I haven't read it because it's common knowledge. Yeah. There's just so many I know. I know the story of them. Or if even someone's trying to think of it, I'll say, oh, that's that book. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I haven't read it, but I know it. And I just have to imagine since the Sixth Sense has been such a punchline for decades now.

that probably everyone knows. I don't know. I think people don't know. But I know what you're saying. They know no, no. You feel bad of robbing someone of that joy you experienced not knowing. I will never forget that moment. Yeah.

Yeah. There's a few incredible ones. Usual suspects has a... Oh, yeah. Don't spoil that. Okay. That one's too good. That's more important.

I've decided that one's more important. Yeah, but also that one. one maybe more people haven't seen it because it's not as zeitgeisty. Yeah, I think Sixthens is ubiquitous. Okay, so now you extend your range. He's 58 or nine miles from you. And then what's the next? By the way, sorry, five miles is the minimum, right? Yeah. And you went from the minimum. No, no, no, no. There were months. Like, there were years where I was expanding or like over the course of a year. Oh, I thought you jumped from your apartment building. Well, because, I mean, listen, we deliver Uber Eats to Pasadena, but like that's, In LA, that's far to risk for a date.

I mean, I had to learn the hard way, like, you don't go to dinner. You go to coffee or a beer. Like, you need to be in and out. You have to have a fake reason to only have an hour. Because you can tell the vibe in five minutes. Yeah. I know I've told you this, but my favorite part of hearing my friend's journey on Grindr, which he used excessively, one might say,

is that every experience I think you can have on it. Yeah. And he was saying, you know, there's all these customs. which is you have the dude over to your house. It's customary to offer him a water. And it's also known, you shouldn't accept it. I was like, already, that's hilarious that that is, like, figured out. That's deeper than I know.

Okay, and he's like, yeah, so, you know, the guy comes over. I offer him a water. He doesn't take it. And we kiss it for a second. And then I look at his dick. And if it's not as advertised, I come up and I go, oh, I don't think we're a match. And the guy goes, okay, cool.

And then he leaves. And I said, I want to say his name. I'm going to call Mike. Let me tell you, if I met a woman somewhere, I kissed her for a few minutes, pulled her pants down, looked at her pussy, and said, we're not a match. That would ruin that person's life.

I can't even imagine how cruel that would be. And I'm like, this sounds awesome. Yeah. But there has to be. Let's cut to the chase. Doesn't the straight world have field? Have you heard of this? No, what's that?

My understanding, field, I've never looked at it. I've heard people talk about it, is like the straight grinder. It's like, oh. It's like, it's like very clear. I want you to come over here and whatever, slap my ass and leave in five seconds, whatever it is. You can be, it's like the free for all, do whatever you want, put it out there and see if, like, go fishing and see who bites. Yeah. And people, like, are loving it.

Okay. All that to say. I would love to see the breakdown of their hours of Max's activity. Right? Because it's got to just, I think when women are hammered. Yeah, yeah. They're far more likely, you know. I just wonder if that thing at like drinking hours, just is night and day.

It's because of the grinders hot all day. Yes. All day, all night. Do you think you've ever looked at a pussy and would have said no? No. No, no, no. Even if I didn't love it. I was trying to think if I ever looked at pussy and... Do you really look at that?

Oh, God, yeah. Well, in the same way you imagine you love, people, I do. Yeah. But I love asses more. Okay, great. I love asses too. But I love vaginas. I love aerolas. I love nipples. I like, I like, you like, see a naked woman be like, look at that. I can't wait to see her vagina. I know. I do go right for the ass all too. I remember, and this was kind of telling it saddened me when I was talking to Krista one time and I said, if you lined up 10 of your exes, penis is in a photograph. Would you be able to say whose was who?

And she goes, no. And I'm like, oh, my God. Like, the amount of worry men have about whether the girl likes your penis and it's not even committed to memory. No. And she goes, could you line up vaginas? And I go, oh, yes. And I would do very well.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she's like, how they don't even look different? And I'm like, you don't know what you're talking about. They look so different. And that's part of the excitement is the novelty. Yeah. Also, like, girls will stress out about, I hear this, you know, they, they have fear that their vaginas don't look right. This was in the Guineth Paltrow documentary.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, you guys don't get it. If it doesn't look different, that's thrilling. This is, like, so memorable, and this is a new thing I get to experience. And it's like, there's no. Can it look bad? I mean, you have your preferences for sure, right? Like, you'll talk to guys and, like, they hate hair.

Other guys love hair. I grew up in the 80s looking at a playboy and a woman had a bush. That's what delineated her from young kids or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It just was like womanliness. So I like it both ways, but I love that. But I know a lot of younger guys are like, oh, no, I don't even want to fuck with that. And I'm like, I don't, what's wrong with you?

Yeah, give it to me. Also, beggars cannot be. Yeah, exactly. What are we talking about? You must be doing great. But yeah, there'll be guys that are like, oh, they hate long lab. And I'm like, fucking rad. Let's go.

But some dudes are picked. But there's also dudes that don't like feet and shit. I'm like, what is wrong with you? You're fucking, here's a tip. Don't look at her fucking feet. You've got to go out of your way to see someone's feet. Could you look at, if you isolated, if you isolated boobs of all the people, could you tell who it was? Yes.

I can see them now. Just nipples too. I don't even need to see the photo. I can see it perfectly in my head. I don't think I could do nipples, but that's not surprising. Yeah. They're not heavily involved in the activity. They're around.

For men, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But penises, you would know, right? You would know. I would know the major players. There's been like, sure, sure, sure. There's been some drunken nights where who knows what I said. Well, yeah.

And also, look, I was a bit addicted to it and I was famous for a while. So, yeah, I had a moment. Relationships and situationships. Did you ever go into a girl's apartment or whatever? And you're like, I can't do this. You're disgusting. Oh, God, no. Oh, were you asking me?

Yeah. Both of you? I've gone into some real... I've fucking a big style. I have fucked an actual... But like, you're like, I can't be around this. Not in garbage. No, I mean, you clock that you won't probably be in a relationship with this person.

Do you want to hear my breakthrough when I realized I had a problem? Yes. I'll just say another experience, just so maybe you'll know what I'm talking about. When I decided to that I was going to ask Kristen to marry me and I was going to buy an engagement ring and I went to the store and I got the ring and we're at the point where he's asking for the credit card. And as I'm handing my credit card, I stop and I'm like, oh my God, what is this? I'm having a very, very, very specific feeling that I've had before. And he's like, are you? And I go, oh, no, no, I'm sorry.

I just want to identify what this is. And then I was like, oh, I know what it is. It's the moment when they put the transfer on your arm for a tattoo and they peel it back. And you've got like a purple outline of it. And you go, do I want that forever? It's permanent. Yeah. It's like the only permanent decision I had ever made in my life.

Incredible analogy. Was the tattoo. But it was unmistakable, right? It was just like this very specific sensorial experience. Yeah. It's all been a chat and an idea until right now in this chair. So I had a period that was, you know, whatever. I was on my space at a period, and I had a lot of access, and I was on TV, and I would often have people over to the house that I didn't really know that well.

And in general, we would do a tour of the house, and pretty then shortly thereafter, there would be some lovemaking, right? Yeah, yeah. And my house is not that big at the time, right? Because we're about to pass it. Yeah, we're about to pass it. It's a good-sized house. It's 3,000 square feet. Yeah, yeah, nice house.

But in general, the tour didn't take much longer. than 10 minutes, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I remember I was showing this woman my office, and I had this like surge. And it's so embarrassing to him, but I was like, oh, this tour is so long. And then I had this. And it was the same one with the credit card where I go, oh, my God, wait, what is this? I know this feeling so well.

I've been in this feeling so well. And I go, oh, my God. It was when I used to be at my drug dealer Tom's house and he'd be measuring out shit. And he'd be telling me about his whole life. Oh, yeah, yeah. And I wanted to scream. Just give me a fucking bump of that. And then I'll sit here all night and listen to this.

But the agony of watching him get distracted as he measured shit out. And the impatience. And I need to regulate now. That was the last. I had that connection. And I was like, oh, it's drugs, man. This is, I'm using this like drugs. And I can't, I don't want to do this.

This is taking too long. That is perfect. Which I'm already in the most insanely spoiled situation where it's like, I need you have to go out to a bar and fucking charm somebody. It couldn't be easier. And even that's not easy enough because I need the medicine now. I'm in discomfort and I know the solution and I can't have it now. And I was like, oh, yeah, I hate this. I don't know what I was listening to, but this guy who talks to a lot of billionaires

And he was asked, like, what is, what have you learned about them about being in such proximity to these rich people? And he said, I've learned you cannot outspend emotions. Like, it doesn't matter how rich you get. Whatever that kid is that was bullied, that is left behind, that is, like, addicted is going to still be right there. It's so funny how everything is transposed on everything else. Yeah. And if you can figure out, it's like you keep saying, it's like, if you can actually get to the root of what that little kid needs, there's 50 other costumes it's wearing in your life.

Uh-huh. That if you whack them all your way across and you don't deal with that, nothing changes. Nothing changes. Yeah, and the thing I've observed about being around really, really rich people. And I also, anytime I watch a doc, like I watch this doc about the children of, who is that famous preacher, he became very political. He's got Jerry. Jerry Falwell.

Right, and then his, I think, is the son of, he got a mix-up, right? He and his wife were swinging. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. So I watched that. Liberty University. Yeah, I watched that documentary, and I kind of had sympathy for them, because I know what goes on. And I, myself, even experience, it's like, you've had this fantasy your entire life that I will get rich, and it'll feel this way.

And then you get rich, and you feel the exact same way. So you go, fuck, that wasn't it. What more can we throw at this? Maybe if we had a more exciting sex life. Maybe that'll give me this feeling I was promised. And I just think it's, yeah, that hedonic treadmill that is, is, is, you can't get satiated and you don't get elation from any of the activities and you were promised elation. And you just keep adding. Well, maybe we should do drugs.

Maybe we should be swinging. And you just, you don't get there. There is no there. And it's scary when you get to the top of the top of the top. Because then the public or the people below, they don't actually have sympathy for you because they're like, if I had your money, I wouldn't have that problem. You're incapable of having sympathy for people who are higher status than you, basically. That's another thing that, like, the billionaires don't know is like, oh, it's going to be very lonely as well, because no one will ever, you could break your fucking. Like, honestly, if Jeff Bezos falls down to fly a stairs, I'm like, people will laugh.

He'll eventually stand up and be a hundred billionaire. Yeah. He's making money out laying there, made $14 million. Yeah, Monica, we hash this out publicly on the fact take, which is we go to the Hanson's Christmas party and there's a white elephant, right? And in the white elephant, sometimes there's kind of a high-valued item that everyone wants. And I can't remember in this situation. It was maybe a gift card for a few hundred dollars or something. And Monica used her last thing.

And she got it and froze it. And people were pissed. Right. And she's like, it's not fair. Like, I still want to play the game and play it the way it should be played. And I go, yes, I understand that desire. But you have to be realistic about the fact, like, would you like if Jeff Bezos ended up with that? Right.

And as much as you don't think you're Jeff Bezos, it's the same identical thing. You have more than everyone in the room. No one's going to enjoy watching you get some more money. It's so true. And you just got to, that's part of the name. And it goes with it. So do you want it or not? Yeah.

Jed, I'm so happy you did this. Oh, my God. I love this show. I'm going to give you a compliment. I hope you hear it as such. There are only a few people, Angela Duckworth, Stephen Dubner. I'm forgetting some where I don't have to do any research. It's so liberating.

I go like, oh, Angela's coming. I don't need to worry about anything. She's an explosion of thoughts. And I'll ride the wave. And I just want to compliment you that you're the only guest in the show. Like, I didn't do, I didn't find out what you're up to. I don't know what books coming out. I didn't learn anything.

I'm like, oh, Jed's here. He'll explode with fun ideas. And you did. And I love you. Oh, I love you. And I'm glad I got to see you because it's been too long. I know. And I'm so happy I got to spend time with you.

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