Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard - Mom's Car: Joy Bryant

Episode Date: September 9, 2025

On this week's episode of Mom's Car, we welcome actor and Dax's on-screen wife Joy Bryant. Joy, Dax, and Best Friend Aaron Weakley talk through high stakes three-way matching tattoos, BFAW’s entertaining story involving a thong and a 20-year full circle moment, digging into the morality of a hypothetical brother-sister scenario, a Vulnerboys write-in question, Joy’s top-five dream stoner list, and the crew invent a brand new moral dumbfounding about dolphins.#sponsored by @Allstate. Go to https://bit.ly/momscar to check Allstate first and see how much you could save on car insurance.Follow Mom's Car on the Wondery App or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch new content on YouTube or listen to Mom's Car ad-free by joining Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify. Start your free trial by visiting https://wondery.com/plus now.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hello, and welcome to Mom's Car today. One of my dearest friends, my television wife, Joy Bryant, joins Aaron and I today. And I just love this woman so much. I'm sure you do too. Please enjoy Joy Bryant. Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate First. Like you know, to check your phones in your pocket before leaving the house. Checking first is smart. So check Allstate First for a quote that could save you hundreds.

You're in good hands with Allstate. Savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability, Allstate, North America, Insurance, Co, and affiliates, North Brook, Illinois. Joy, Aaron, and I got matching tattoos yesterday. No, wait, I love that. On my neck. Oh, what does it say? La Costa Nostra?

Okay, that's what I want to get to. But J2C, January 2nd, Capricorn, July 2nd, Cancer. Impossible. Oh, you guys are so late. Yeah, in junior high, we figured out that we're the rarest of the rare, J2C. I got mine right there. Oh, my God. Okay, first of all, I love matching friend tattoos.

I have one with two of them. my other friend, and it's Soul Rebel. Soul Rebel, and there's three of you with it? Yes, and it's all stick and poke. I just got to say, though, a three-way matching tattoos higher stakes, because the odds of a fallout with three higher than two. Friend fallout? Yeah.

Oh, yeah, no, we're never talking about it. It's not going to happen. The only thing is that everyone's tattoo is totally different because one friend gave me a tattoo, and then he gave... Oh, there's a dude's in the mix. Oh, yeah, we're all best friends, so it's like the three of us. Two gales and a guy? Yeah.

No one wanted me to give them a tattoo because my vision's a little bit off. Hold on, hold on. I thought you meant he gave you the design, but you're saying he physically tattooed you. Yeah, so woman, man, we're all besties. And we decided that we're going to do Soul Rebel. Steve gave me and Jade the tattoos,

and then Jade gave Steve the tattoos, but no one wanted me to give anyone anything because they're like, but you can't even see. We don't trust that. But mind you, that was his first stick and poke, and it's all jazz. It doesn't even look like it says soul rebels. It looks like it says so reed.

Oh, yeah. I mean, like that works too, right? I like it, yeah. But he was like stabbing my arm and shit. What's the G.D? God damn. I mean, yes. God damn.

I say God damn. God damn. I say God damn. That's actually a memorial for a friend of me and Dave's Glendorty. He was one of the people who died in Benghazi. Oh my God. Yeah. We met him through the whole surfed snowboard world and everything.

He's an ex-Navy SEAL. Looking for some action. Yeah, he was just a really amazing special person. Yeah, I felt like maybe when you were staying at our house for the evacuations, we maybe talked about him. Because you have a friend who was in that world. In that world, Navy SEAL, and was offered to go to Benghazi for a lot of money. They paid well for that. I'm not saying your friend, but the one that was offered to my friend.

Yeah. I kind of dug this because I myself can't walk into a lot of stuff, but he didn't. just said to me, yeah, I was really tempted, but I just thought you end up doing shit on these missions that can't be about money. You really got to think it's about country or you're not going to do the thing that needs to do it. And I was like, wow, that's some cool integrity. Because I'd probably likely more do anything for money. I need nothing for my country. You don't leave a damn coin on the floor. I am not walking by a penny on the street. Yeah, but Aaron and I would drink a bottle of ketchup at the restaurant for $5.

You guys have actually done that. Aaron hit some real lows when he was in addict. Wait, when you were in what? When he was in a addict, I said. Oh, some real lows, like. Like what I did for money? Yeah. What about this is an incredible story because of the full circle nature.

Okay. Okay, so hit her with Dean's house. Oh, we'll leave her out of it. Oh, sure, sure. So, you know, enjoy that game. How much would it take to do such and such? People would be like, I wouldn't do that for a million dollars. I'd be like, 60 bucks.

It's like that kind of thing, you know? I was like, I'm just being honest, man. That's immediate needs right there. Yeah, so I found myself at a party at my friend's house. Were you there? I was not. I had retired at this point. My girlfriend's there, all my friends, all these fucking assholes that I don't know.

I find myself wearing my girlfriend. friend's thong, and it's a foot of snow outside, and it's like zero. Wait, what kind of thong? G-string? There were thongs, or were they G-strings? Was it one strip up your ass, or was it sort of, like, fabric up your butt? It was something up my butt. It was a huge watchie.

Everything is a G-string room. Oh, you got a fad-ass. Oh, he's got a gorgeous. Sadly enough, there was no pictures of this because it was in the 90. Four pictures So I'm standing outside Bent over on the porch With my ass

Yeah, it's making the clap And a dude just fucking starts Peeing on my butt That's what Was on the table Yeah And I agreed to this for 40 bucks Which was like

Which was like four people Chipped in 10 bucks It took a minute to even get to 40 They couldn't get it up to And then I was like, sold. At the time, Tina of Coke was 40 bucks. Jokes on all. Yeah, jokes, I did.

And I said that, too, I thought it. I thought my girlfriend was so fucking embarrassed. She was like, I don't even have words. And I go, yeah, but who's fucking laughing? Who's really laughing now? Who got them bumps? I got them bums, though, right? I got that yet.

Now, here's the most incredible part of the story, I think. This gentleman who did pee on him. I'm more suspicious of that guy than I am, Aaron, in this scenario. A pee who was peed on. Yes, right, right, right, pee-who-tees. He who chose and volunteered to pee on a man's ass. Another man's ass cheeks and a thong. I find more disturbing.

There's nothing in it for him other than, I guess, the pleasure of being on another man. The pleasure of peeing on another person, like the man. I don't want to pee. And he lost $40, right? Ten of it was his, I'm sure. Oh, oh, oh. Oh, okay. So, as you know, Aaron's been driving Uber.

Mm-hmm. He answers a call. He pulls up to this nice house in the man who peed on him. No. Having to drive him. Yeah, I was like. You picked up in Uber? It was like four weeks ago.

Pick the fuck out of here. No. I was like, you've got to be fucking kidding me. Wait, the person from Detroit? Yeah, so I pull up to this nice house on a lake and I'm waiting in the driveway and out comes this person. Pee, man. You remembered him. We know him.

well. He's a friend. But since sobriety, not a lot interaction. Right. Okay. No need for it. All wrapped up. Okay, I'm so fast. Okay. So he gets in the car. He's already hammered. The guy is already hammered? Yeah, yeah. Oh, so he's still going strong. And he's been drinking all day. Okay. And now him and his wife are going to a fucking party. Did he recognize? Do they know? Oh, we know. Immediately. They thought my car was like this car with all cameras. They thought like this was a big joke. In a million years, I couldn't have picked that I would be getting them for a ride. Wait, so did you guys ever talk about that night? Yeah, it came up a few times over the years.

Not in the car that. No, not in the car that night. Okay. He loves it, of course. The guy who did the Pee loves it. I wonder what else he loves. I'm not embarrassed, obviously, I'm telling it right now for many people to hear. I wish I was high right now, sorry.

But yeah, no, he was proud to always tell that story. At a party. Oh, he was proud to tell that story. Sure, sure, sure, sure. Interesting. It makes me think of you saw the Chappelle. We watched it together, right? The Chappelle monologue in Sarat Live.

Yes. That was like a 20 out of 10. Oh, got one. It's up. All right. Now Aaron's on it. He'll instruct me what to do. Okay.

House of Pies. Ooh, this is exciting. Yeah. Wait a minute. Is that you so excited? Oh, shit. Hold on. We're getting an ad of delivery.

Oh, my God. Is it multi-step one? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So. Oh, wow. How surprised we go. Yeah. Okay, great.

And I think there's probably two orders sitting there for us. Oh, wow, megabucks. People are religious about House of Pies. It's very charming, because look how, it does feel like your time traveling to Los Angeles in the 70s or something. I mean, I'll sum up that whole story. It's just the dude's blasted. Aaron's got to wade through. Are you driving Uber?

Also, we need you to drive us home. Sure. Like, are you okay? You're driving over. Things did really went south with you. You could have cancer. Oh, okay, I'll be right back. And so you know the system, Aaron gets it and I deliver it.

Got it. Oh, my God, look how many pies he's got. Wow, yeah, let him throw that shit in the back. All right. Yeah. Pie time. Big money. Big money.

Beautiful. It's also like, are you going to feed me later? Oh, yeah, yeah, I'll do whatever you want. Yeah, yeah. I'll feed you. Yay. Where you're going. Joy has really, how would I describe your culinary pursuits?

You get into things, is it safe to say? You get like, so Joy for two months will just be like, do you want to go get some duck? And she'll eat duck. Oh my God, I had duck the other night. Yo, I fucking love duck. I fucking love duck. She's a duck machine.

Oh, my God. I had duck the other night. And I'm about to have it later on for like leftovers. Is it microwave oil? No, no, no, I'm going to pan. I'm going to, like, heat it in the pan. Okay, I can figure this out, right? What do we?

Which one? This one right here. Okay, great. I'm in part. Have one finding that. Was that the one? That was it. Okay.

Oh my god, the next one's eight miles away. Oh, wait. That's why we're getting the big bucks. This one? Okay, yeah. Half hour. Which is so funny because eight miles is not really that far, but in LA, eight miles is really far. Yeah, in this case, 31 minutes.

Okay, Joy, have you ever heard of moral dumbfounding questions? No, but I'm sure I've heard moral dumbfounding question. I'm aware of it because Jonathan, height. He asked these moral dumbfounding questions to his students at the beginning of class. And what moral dumbfounding is, is you really can't mount an intellectual argument for why it's immoral, but your gut tells you it's wrong. And his work was proving that people more often than not listen to their gut, whether they can actually make a logical argument for why it's not moral. I think we start with the brother sister one. I mean, okay. I think this is a

most famous. And then he has his class fight about this. And of course, no one's ever happy. Okay. This is the incest scenario. Oh, God. Oh. A brother and sister, both consenting adults, decide to have sex while on vacation. All right. Did you say while on vacation? Yeah. First of all, already where they're on a vacation together. They might have more of a moral dilemma with going on just a vacation with your sibling, but even having sex with them once you get on vacation. It gets better. They use protection and never do it again. They both feel like it made them closer, but tell no one.

Is this morally wrong? If so, why? Is it what wrong with they have fucked or is it wrong that they didn't tell anyone? No, it's just a whole endeavor morally wrong. Now, there's clever things in there that I'm sure you already detected, which is they use protection. because a lot of people's argument would be like, no, it's wrong because you'll have a defective child. So they've cleared that up. So there's no baby coming out of this.

Consentine's really relevant. Both feel it made them closer. That's awkward. I mean, it's incredibly intimate, okay. I don't want to feel closer to a sibling post-coitus. I mean, is it wrong? I don't know. Is it immoral?

I don't think it's immoral necessarily. It's not something that I would ever want to do. The notion to me is absolutely repulsive. I have a sister. I've gone to great lengths to have no idea if she has boobs. Oh, wait a minute. Are these blood? Blood brothers and sister.

Oh, it's not a step sister. No, no. I don't think step would even make it to a question. I don't know. Yeah. That wasn't clarified. And that says, no, it's fun. I had this scenario in my real life.

I think I've told you about it, which is my mom's third husband, came with a daughter who was two grades above me, who I had known. I had been in love with. I was like, I'm going to live in the same house as this girl that I've liked. Oh, God. And she's two grades older. I was so excited.

She ignored me for however long they were married, two years or something, or a year and a half. But she, my brother, was then two grades above her or three. So she had a crush on my brother for sure And he ignored her, like he just blocked her out So there was a very weird step Sibling love triangle that never went anywhere Probably for the best

I think also the fact that they use protection There's just like that's between them We're going to pretend like this never happened We're not going to tell anybody it's over, it's done I don't feel like I'm having a right to judge that I think it's weird but I'm making my choices based on Who's the victim in this scenario? There is no victim

Right because they don't tell anyone Because I would say like the parents would be victims. How would the parents be victims? If they found out their children made love on a vacation, I think they would be really troubled by that. And thus, they would be the victim. And they would be going, oh my God, what did we do wrong? Right. Brenda and John took a trip to Amsterdam. I'd like to note that Brenda and John are definitely doing this again. It depends on how good it is. Well, it sounds like, yeah, Aaron is an issue with the premise, which is like, what do you mean they never did it again? They did it. They liked it. They liked

and feel closer and now they decided one and done. But I guess for the sake of this moral dumb founding, you have to concede that it's a scenario. It's only one, it's one time. So in this instance, I am a liberty team. Okay, yeah. I am too. It's disgusting. I don't know that I could do it even to save all of mankind.

Aaron has sisters as well. I'm the only child, so there's that perspective. Ooh, girls, stop texting when you drive in. Yeah. Oh, you should ride a motorcycle between traffic. What you see is that 40% of people are acting. actively texting or watching a video. No.

And then 40% are actively smoking weed. No. Yeah, what you realize quickly is your lane splitting on a motorcycle is that almost nobody in L.A. in traffic is actually driving. They're subconscious just getting them to wherever they got to go. Okay, Aaron, so do you have a verdict? Mine was, it's not immoral. It's just disgusting.

That makes three of us. I should have got a prude in the car. Yeah. We need a one prude in the car. You can have three dirt bags. I'm not. Three scum bag. All good.

What happens? You kill a dude and get 20 bucks off of them? All good. Whatever. Somebody peed on you, $40? Whatever. So? I take the money and run.

Yeah. Plus, you know what, actually, it's good that it happened in the 90s before, like, smartphones and Samsung. Oh, there would definitely be a video of that. Just think, oh, my God. These poor kids today. That's a great silver lining that you're right about. These poor kids. Because 1,000% everyone would have videoed it.

Yeah. Except for your girlfriend. You'd be a viral hit. Now we're going to discuss a problem. from the listener. This is from Rachel and Santa Barbara. Oh, great.

My new man can't keep it up and it's ruining my... Oh. I, woman of 30 years old, recently started dating someone new, a man 29 years old, together and serious

for about four months and things are honestly amazing. He's a vulnerable boy, just like you guys, and makes me feel very safe and loved. A what boy? A vulnerable boy?

We're vulnerable boys. Vulner boys? Yeah. Vulnerable? Yeah, we're vulnerable boys. Yeah. We're the vulnerable boys. We have a band.

We've yet to recording of our songs. We don't think that anyone can handle it yet. But we write songs about being scared and overreacting. So it's beyond emo. Yeah. The new age emo. Mid-century emo. Right.

Mid-century emo. Yeah, definitely. I love it. However, when we have sex, his penis won't stay inside me when I start having an orgasm. He says that contractions are pushing him out, which sounds made up because it has never happened before. First of all, very jealous of her Kiegel muscles. Exactly. If she can't fucking eject a penis, that's how hard.

That's some big fucking O-in happening. I've never given that first. Literally, she snatched. And I have not given an O of that quality, apparently. Shoot me out. Norvite. I hate to admit. So she thinks it sounds made up

and she's assuming he can't stay hard. Her assumption is that he is getting soft. And then saying that it's because of her... Her erratic contraction. To be fair, I usually get it one way or the other. But when he's softening up and sliding out right when I'm about to owe, it ruins the momentum and the mood.

How do I talk about it with him? without potentially embarrassing him or making him feel bad. Please help me, Vulner Boys. Vulner Boys do the rescue. I want to hear a woman's perspective. What from her point of view makes sense, what are you confused by?

I mean, I would imagine that contractions and key goals are very stimulating to a penis when it's inside of you, and there's lots of benefits for that. And that could be overstimulating to her partner, right? Because sometimes being overly stimulated It will cause the penis to go in the opposite direction, to go quiet. So, girl, I feel your pain, child.

I feel your pain, sis. I guess that's a good question. Is this ever happened to you? Because I call bullshit on a lot of this already. I think he's coming. She's about to orgasm. And it's so exciting when you're a dude and the girl's about to come. Well, for me at least, that's when it's very hard as not to spray is when she's about to come.

So my hunch is she's about to spray and he does. And then it goes soft. or he's about to, so he pulls out so he doesn't spray. I have some follow-up questions for her. Yeah. But I don't think he's hard, and then right when it gets super excited, he's flaccid. That I can't relate to personally. Look, you never want to emasculate or make anyone feel bad.

I feel bad for y'all. How do you bring anything up? You just have to. You never talk about it in bed. Okay, great. Oh, okay, good. You don't talk about sex and what's working, what's not working in bed unless you're, like, actually fucking and you're like, okay, do this, do it like, you know?

Right, right. But, like, after the fact you don't talk about any issues or whatever in bed, take it out of the bedroom and always come from a place of calm, love, right? Because it is sensitive, but I think it's more so that because we're so reluctant to talk about it, more so that when you start talking about it, it's actually not that bad sometimes. So I think that it's just like, you know, hey, I just noticed that when we're having sex and I'm about to come up, like, I just like to talk about what that feels like for you because what I would like is X, Y, Z.

What can we do differently so that you might be able to, so that I can be able to... Yeah. Okay, so there's a lot going. I think it's going to be tricky because he's made a claim that I feel like she might have to refute, which is it's ejecting your penis. So I don't know how we tackle that quite yet, but I think maybe I would go in steps for her, which is, okay, let's assume he's telling the truth and it's getting rejected. That can't happen if she's riding him. If she's on top and she's sitting on it, it can't. get ejected. Would we agree with the physics of that?

Yeah. And you know what? Now that I'm thinking about it. Yeah, think more about it. I mean... Think about it. There is the whole thing of like deliberately squeezing your kegels while the penis is inside of you. Sure. Not involuntary. I don't know that like, oh, you're coming and now you're contracting.

So I don't buy what he's saying. I think it's possible, but I think it's highly improbable. Yeah. So first order of business would be like, hey, I know you're saying it's popular. it's popping out. I would love for it to be in there when I hit my peak. Can I try riding you to see if it won't pop out? Okay, great. Was he going to say, no, you can't ride me? He's going to say, yes, you can ride me. That's my assumption. Now, if he still pops out in that scenario, I think he's limp. And now we can address in the debrief after that sex, we could

maybe say, like, well, wow, it's still popped out. Do you think you're losing your erection? to me, the options on the table are like, well, if you're losing your erection, just use Viagra. If it's really a loss of erection, there's medicine. Just fucking take Viagra. Yeah. But again, my hunch is, he's probably coming early. I can relate to this.

When I was younger, oh, what a stressful thing. Someone's got to teach you to handle your business before you do your business. Everything will be golden. And also there's performance anxiety and those kinds of things. But I think, why is it getting soft? Is it getting soft? Because you're orgasamy and going, that's so flattering.

like putting a real positive spin on it. And then you've got to talk about, okay, what if I blow you a half hour before we have sex and then give it a go and see if you can hang in the saddle? Joey, what you said about the talk and not in bed and tell Ruthie, who I'm married to now, I never, or at least maybe I didn't hear them, never had a talk about anything open with the sex. It just happened. I feel like a lot of people don't. But it's very healthy.

Yeah, yeah. It's hard. It's hard. I want to acknowledge it's so hard. Because I think it's the easiest way to, like, destroy someone's self-esteem. I think we all intersect going, like, I hope I'm enough. If you're a dude, it's about how big is your dick, but she doesn't even care about. But as a dude, you think so.

It's like, am I big enough? Then do I last long enough? Am I hitting all this accoutrema you have correctly? Right. Am I hitting the walls? By bottoming out. Am I hitting the world? Yeah, yeah.

All right. Okay, voila. Meet at door. I get to meet this person. Yes. Okay, wonderful. Now I want to get back closer to our house. Yes, we were saying, I'm not mad as a little subdivision.

Yeah, I find a lot of times you can't get at the buildings. Yeah, very Mount Rose Placie. What were your show's joy when you're in high school? Were you sucked into any of these white dramas like I was? White drama. Like Beverly Hills Nightos who were no. White drama. We got drama too.

Yo. Y'all definitely got fucking drama. That is the great, that's like a great name for a show. Yo, white drama. It's all in the title, white drama. I wonder if you can just declare a show these days. Like, this show's going to be 100% white. This is a white drama.

This is a white show. This is a white show. Everyone's free to watch it, but it is for white people only. It is about some white bullshit. White drama. They'll say that up in the corner before it starts. This is full of white bullshit. This is full of white bullshit.

Just let you know. It's going to be good. I'm just white bullshit. It'll be exactly what you expect. It'll be exactly what you'll be. You're not going to relate to it, but it will entertain you. It's going to be under-seasoned, but it's going to be good. Under-seasoned.

It's going to be raisins and potato salad, but it's going to, you know, but I mean, pick it out. Did you like any of those shows, though? Yes, I loved 902.10, Melrose plays. Also, you were in that boarding school that was a bunch of honkies, right? They were probably all watching Melrose and talking about it. Weird thing is, like, I don't remember watching a lot of TV in high school, because I think we had TV in maybe some of the common rooms or something like that, but I didn't really watch a lot. So, which one did you watch? Party of Five? I wasn't really into Party of Five. That was extra white.

But you did. Well, Beverly was 9-021. She said, yeah, and Melrose. And did you have a favorite character on 90210? Dylan. Dylan. Dylan. Yeah. Not Brandon. We love Brandon. He's a nice. Yeah. He's all about Dylan. But it's all about the bad boy. With the raspy voice. In a Porsche, convertible Porsche in high school. Wait, he had a convertible Porsche? Yes, yes.

What a badass. Yeah, he rolled around a little Porsche spider. Fucking eggs. Yeah. Hard to beat. But then Brandon got a 65 Mustang. Sure did. Yeah, at one point.

Yeah. I love that the premise of that show is that they were poor in Beverly Lies. And they kept showing their house like a 4,000 square foot house in Beverly Hills. They're poor. You're like, God, I'm not another. Embarrassed around their friends. Yes. Don't want to get picked up in front of their house.

Who would be your top three list of people you would want to smoke a joint one? You bring your own, I guess, in this scenario. Seth Rogen's number one. Yes. He's Loken to one, two, three. I might be able to broker that. No way. I would smoke more than one hit with Seth Rogen.

Although I kind of feel like his weed is very strong, too, but I would just bring my own as well. This is one of Joy's hot takes that I love when we were doing parenthood. She was like, okay, Seth Rogen and James Franco, they're in. and all these movies together. And all the girls are wild for Franco. And he's objectively cute. I get it. Sure.

She goes, but for my money, give me a night with Seth Rogen. Yep. And I was like, girl. Uncle. Look. His money, and he likes to eat, and he smokes weed.

Yeah. This is the dream hang. The snacks would be crazy. And the snacks would be crazy. Love it. Okay, so Seth Rogen, number one. Woody Haraldson, any interests? Oh.

You know, I never thought of my top dream stoner. Yeah, I would love a... With Woody Harrelson. But when you threw out Willie Nelson and then Snoop, that's tough because these are like the gods. They're on the mouth. Well, this is how I breaking down. This is how I breaking down.

It's like there's platinum status, gold, silver, bronze, and pewter. Now, I have friends who are, like, platinum-level stoners, like, homies. And I know I can't smoke with them, but I know that if they were to get with, like, Snoop, or whoever, they would go toe to toe. One of my home girls in New York, this bitch, one time we did edibles, and they were five milligram each, and of course I did one. She did five, which means she had 60 milligrams to write five.

And I was high, and she looked high, but she was totally functioning and kind of doing her shit. And I was like, oh, yeah, girl. Well, that is the weird question I kind of sometimes ask myself, is if you wake and bake and you maintain and you're, yeah, you're not altered, It's just curious. I'm not even sure that you know when you're a stone. You know what I'm saying? Well, back in the day, I was someone who smoked all day. And I could function and do anything and everything.

Yeah. But now I don't have that level of tolerance. So I can't just be smoking all day and handle the things that I need to handle. So weirdly, okay, and your tolerance went down. Yeah. I just interviewed Seth. He said he smoked with Snoop and he just got blown away. And I was like, oh, it's interesting. There are rung. So for me, on that scale, I'm like bronzed a pewter because I do smoke probably more than the average person. There's different modalities that I tap into with weed. Okay. And have you dabbled in another craze I'm noticing is a lot of people doing mushroom chocolate? Have you fucked with that?

Yes. It's great, right? It's fucking awesome. Remember that time I told you I walked from the Hollywood Bowl past your house? Oh, yeah, yeah. You were chocolateed up. I mean, yeah, like that was not a great idea, but I did that. Stay tuned for more mom's car. Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking all state first.

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Remember, get up to 40% off back-to-school essentials. Offer ends 916 Terms Apply, C app for details. What's great about this mushroom thing is you never knew when you were taking shrooms. I've eaten a pound of shrooms in my life. Aaron and I famously bought a half pound in Santa Cruz, which was two gallon-sized Ziploc bags. And we got one gallon for our consumption. And then Aaron sold the other gallon in Detroit. And we made, for us, a fucking fortune.

I think we made like 1,200 bucks or something. And got a free quarter pound. Anyways, you didn't know what you're taking. And you're like, I guess I'm doing four stems and six caps. What does that mean? And even if people had scales, like, well, weigh at three point. Well, how much of it is psilocybin inside of all these stems and shit? The notion that you can take that chocolate and you know exactly what it is is pretty radical.

Did I tell you this was actually your chips premiere? I'm sure I never had mentioned I was so embarrassed about it. So Scotty and I were staying in a hotel together. We were going to go to your house because your family was there. Mom and Dave Barton and everybody. And I hadn't seen anybody in a long time, but I was also really peeking in my fucking addiction and everything else at the time.

In my mind, this was a good idea because I thought it would keep me chill. Scotty went and got a candy bar and each little piece was five milligrams. This is a weed or mushroom. Yeah, weed chocolate. Yeah, yeah. So he fucking chomps.

like 10 of them down. Wow. Like a crazy amount. And I know myself, I can fucking do an ounce of Coke and drink a crazy amount, but I can't smoke wheat. We've never been strong in that category, Aaron and I. I think it was March Madness at the time. This is setting this up. So we're going to go to a bar, watch some basketball, have a couple beers, keep it chill.

So we can go at dinner with you and the family. And then your premiere wasn't until the following day, I think. I had one, a five milligram piece. We go to the bar. I lost my sight. I started when I realized my paranoia set in. The bar was busy. All of a sudden, I decided that the bartender didn't want me there.

Or no, just the waitress. We're sitting at a table. Although we're drinking and eating. Doing everything a waitress might want you to do it. I was like, it was so strong. I can't be here anymore. Scotty was like, whoa. What the fuck?

So, no, we'll stay. 30 minutes later, I just go blind. I'm watching, I'm like looking outside, and it just is gone. I can barely see Scotty's orbit right next to me. And I'm like, no, no, no, no. Yeah, so fast more to Scottie holding my hand and walking me back to the hotel. You had to tell him at some point, I can't see. Yes, I told him it, it was completely blind.

Oh, my God. What do you do with that info? Because you're like, well, you're not. There's no way your eyes got damaged while we were watching this basketball game. Oh, my God. Yeah, so he held my hand and he walked me back,

and I was like just barely seeing shapes. I'm like, I'm going to get hit by a car, for sure. Oh, my God. Thank God you weren't alone. So we get back. The pool was not even open. It's outside. I jump in it at my house.

No, no, at the hotel. You know, I'm like, I need some cold water. Anyway, so I can see. Yeah, so I do that, nothing. I go into the shower. Now it's almost time to leave for dinner. I'm like, I can't see. And I was like, I can't.

Still couldn't see. Yeah, so I remember Scotty called you or texted maybe and said, he's blind. Yeah, weekly, you know, it's not having a or whatever. I don't know how we reported it. Yeah, I don't remember that. Okay, yeah. Well, you had a lot going on.

A lot going on. And I remember you weren't happy. You were disappointed, which was the worst part, of course, for me. I'm like, I wish he would just be mad at me. But no, he's disappointed and still loves me. And I'm off. So I called it a rap and like slept for 13 hours. Yeah, yeah, because that's what you got to do.

You got to go to sleep. I do wonder, though, if it was in your head, I was disappointing. Possibly. Yeah. Because I have no memory of it. And just also, I can't imagine ever if someone's fucked up and they pull something like being judgmental. I just did it so much. I missed birthday parties. I was late for Christmas. I think I would have just been like, oh, yeah, that makes sense.

Probably better he didn't roll up annihilate. I'm maybe even grateful. I feel like what I would have felt like. I come with a cane. And like dark sunglasses. You're like, what the fuck? He got hot acid in his eyes. Oh, my God. Yeah, you're surely right. I probably made that part up. You're being disappointed in my head. You definitely made that up in your head.

You definitely made that up in your head. Yeah, you were just. Oh, my God, all you have to do is be chill for one day. You can't. No. And you try. And I tried. I mean, you tried.

Wait. So when you woke up. I was like, I'm just going to drink some beer. Was your vision restored? 100%. Yeah. 20-20? Yeah.

Went to the premiere that day. Saw you. Saw everyone. Oh, my God. Yeah. Oh, my God, I'm so sorry that happened to. Yeah, I'm like, let me go back to my old self. Oh, what is this?

What about, except? Oh, look this. I'm turning right. No, roast duck by. Stop it. Stop it. Oh, my God. This feels like a blessing because did you order?

It's me, guys. She ordered some ducks. Oh, I see roast a duck. Get the fuck out of here. Look at this. Oh, this is going to be hard for joy to not get nibbling on this duck. I want to fucking puke when this duck gets in the car. They're not getting his order.

Bam. Can you bring a menu out? Holy shit! I can't believe you desire duck that much. It's like a kink for you. It's like a kink. I think he said, be real careful with it. Extra careful.

It's extra greasy. I'm holding it like a baby. Do you want me to put it back here? No, he said keep it up right. No, I'll hold it. Okay. This is my. You don't trust me?

Make it. Thank you. I don't. Okay, moral dumb founding. All right, Joy, you're going to like this. Corpse desecration. Great. Okay.

A medical student, alone in a lab, finds an unclaimed cadaver. They decide to have sex with it, knowing that no one will ever find out, and the person is already dead. Is this morally wrong? Yeah, this one's really hard to not say it's... It's absolutely wrong. I think it's absolutely wrong because it's still a violation. You were not given consent. And then at that point, does the body belong to the family?

That's why I think he was clever in saying unclaimed. Unclaimed. You notice these clever things that he puts in there to prevent you from making that argument. Like, oh, the family would be upset. I still think that it's a no-go. Isn't it only a misdemeanor legally? Is it? Isn't it?

I got to imagine that's a felony I don't think so based on especially unclaimed how about this when I'm dead I don't care what anyone does

with my body I'm dead you don't care someone fucks you I don't fucks you in the I don't want someone the fucking I almost I almost

can get some enjoyment out of my because fuck that I care if some dude fucks me when I'm dead I care about that

I don't want some random dude just fucking like busts him off me I'm dead not I bet we can make this harder really easily and you say the cadaver's a man and a rigamarist caused his penis to stay erect and it's a woman who does it oh you got to admit it's different than a dude okay and a female corpse right because that male is penetrating versus no I just think it's the moral dumbfoundedness right like I just know guys are worse. They're doing all the raping. And so if a gal gets off on a dead guy and then you also

you got to assume a dead guy would definitely love for his dead body to be had sex with by a woman. Admittedly, I'm more open to a woman doing it to me than a man doing it to my corpse. It's almost like you're donating your body to science. Yes, I'm donating it to someone who presumably

can't otherwise have sex if they're having sex with corpse. Okay, we'll put a pin in this. I'll be right back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's pull up that menu. What if you just wanted to meet them? You're like, hey, I like duck a ton too. Hey, do you have any extra?

Can I come hang out, you guys? I'm, like, obsessed with this fucking duck place. I can't think of anything else but this fucking duck. God damn it. They own a cyber truck. What do you think of love duck plus cyber truck? Just put you right back at zero. Um.

Um. Yeah. Net zero. It's a push. Yeah, it's a push. Okay, so we were at the, what if it's a guy cadaver? Yeah, I guess I'm asking, are you more comfortable with a woman having sex with a male could ever than a man having sex with a female could ever?

That does kind of feel different. Logically, I go, it's the same, but I... But at the same time, it's... This is similar to, we've debated at length whether it's okay to have sex with a dolphin, a human, because dolphins are so horny. Dolphins are very horny. They're the horniest. And what we have decided we feel comfortable with is a woman being in love with a male dolphin,

but not a man being in love with a female dolphin. Because the male dolphin has to do the penetrating. We know it's consensual because he's initiating and doing it. And for some reason, that just feels a lot better to me than a dude. Deciding the dolphin loved him back and wanted it. I don't trust a guy to make that call. Which is always the case. Yes.

We don't have a great track record. So, how do you feel about a woman and a male dolphin as lovers? I just love it. I'm happy for both. I'm certainly in stoke for the dolphin. Like, what a pimp. He's got interspecies appeal. Right.

Yeah. Did you just come up with a new morally dumbfounding question then? I think so. Yeah, yeah. I think I should pitch this. I'm going to email this. I think you can pitch that. Great news.

I have a new one. Beastiality. Is it okay? With only a dolphin? With all of it. With dolphin dick and a consent to. Because we see them trying all the time. There's untold videos of these.

I was like obsessed with naughty dolphins. Noddy dolphins. Dirty dolphins. Noddy dolphins. That's a great show I would watch. Dirty Dolphins. White drama and naughty dolphins. I said block.

That's a solid couple hours of television. Oh, like a dirty dolphin. Back to the cadaver, Aaron. What do you think? Some people may not like this, but I don't think it's morally wrong. Wait, did you say you don't think it's morally wrong? I did. I did.

I had a hundred more than that one. I think that person has a perv. He's just having sex with a steak at that point. Yes. The question is, is this dude nasty as hell? The nastiest. The nastiest. The nastiest.

Yeah. But again, I'm having a hard time finding the victim. I still think the victim is the body. Yeah. Because it still lacks consent. And you are taking advantage of a body, even though the body is no longer alive. It's still a body. And so for those reasons, I would have the same issue if it was a woman with a dead hard dude.

Same? Well, I think this question also would be harder if you believed in an afterlife. Yeah. I think that's in the mix a little bit, right? I think that's probably one of my main reasons. I think that person doesn't exist anymore. So I don't think there's actually a person to consider. I don't necessarily think that person exists anymore either.

I still feel that it's still a body. It's still a human being, even though that human being is known. You don't have rights to just any body. No, I don't. That's fair. But I do think if you're deeply Christian, and you believe you'll be in heaven watching this person violate your corpse, it's easy to find a way to victimhood in that.

if you believe you'll be in heaven and could somehow observe this. Yeah. See, I don't believe in that. I'm not religious at all necessarily, but I just believe in... You cross in a line, man. Yeah. That's a fucking line.

This one I will say of all these... Of all these I've heard. Take your dick somewhere else, dude. Why you got to go to a fucking grave and, like, dig up some shit and, like, the same thing. Let's paint the most generous defense of the person possible

for one second, which is I didn't pick what I'm into. Luckily, I happen to be into women who are my age and have been my whole life. I'm not a good person because I picked peers my age who I want to consent. That's just how I am. I don't think anyone picks being a pedophile. No one's trying to be a pedophile. I think that's a terrible way to go through life on planet Earth.

I mean, what would you do? So I don't think anyone picks that. So let's just assume for a second, there is someone, guy or a girl, who they were born, only thing they ever are going to want to have sex with is a corpse. They didn't decide that. That's just how it is. They're never going to have sex with an alive person. If they're ever going to be sexual in their whole life, it's going to be with a corpse. And now they're in this situation where it's like, oh, here's this corpse. They're dead. It's not like they're going to be upset or in any discomfort. Now's my chance. I'm mildly sympathetic if there's someone that was

born that way. And that's just how they are. And I just got lucky. And it's easy to be like me. That's as good of an argument as I could maybe make. You're still out. But if it's a normal person like you. And you're just horny. And you're like, I mean, they're going to jerk off. Sure. Yeah, I'm a piece of shit. Yeah.

I'm a lazy piece. I'm like, fuck, I was going to jerk off, but this seems a little bit easier. It seems like 5% easier. Oh. Can you imagine that seems easier? Than jacking. Well, that's where you get into. The weirder conversation is like what dudes do in prison.

That one's really interesting. Is that one of the questions, too? No, but I'm just now thinking about the notion that there are dudes who will fuck other guys while they're in prison and get oral from them and then get out and never do that again. That's not their preference, but in a pinch, they'll do it. And then I used to watch that show Hookers on the Point

on HBO. Love that show. It's the best show ever, right? Remember? Hey, girl. Yeah. I got caught you about girl. I'm stuck a dick right now.

Verbatim. I love the narrator. The narrator, this is how he thought, he go, he go, the ladies on the point are working hard to Max, sucking and fucking. That's so good. Do you think we can find that on Max? I don't know that it's on there, unfortunately, but that was Nate and I show. We loved watching Hookers on the Point together. And our favorite episode, which was so confusing, was this guy had picked up one of our heroes from the show, the white chick with no teeth.

She's like, how are you tonight, baby? He's like, good. I just got out of prison today. She's like, oh, welcome home, baby. She starts blowing him in the middle of it. Now he's getting really into it. And he's like, oh, fuck, I want some balls in my mouth. Oh, no.

And they're like, whoa, what's happening in this man's mind? He got a female hooker, but now he's like, I want some balls in my mouth. And he said it a few times, and she goes, oh, you kinky. And I was like, that's more of the service that a sex worker might provide than people might think, right? Which is, you might think they're just there to have an orgasm. But the acceptance that those gales have of whatever anyone's thing is is nice, right? Like maybe you are, in quotes, you're straighter, who cares?

You want a woman to blow you, but you want to talk about sucking balls the whole time. Yeah, that's okay. That's okay. Yeah. And I don't think that makes you whatever. I don't know. We don't have a category. We don't need a category for this.

But isn't that about the sort of fluidity of sexuality and things like that, right? And I think that also plays into how men could potentially have sex with each other in prison. But get out and they're like, okay, well, that was then. So, yeah, when Nate and I lived together, we were in our different bedrooms every morning. We'd be doing our computer working every night. And every now I just hear from down the whole one. Oh, I don't want some balls in my mouth. The ladies are working hard tonight on the port.

Ooh, yeah. Yeah. So I was vegetarian from 94 until 2018. And during that time, I was like a pescalactarian. I would have. Wait, say those years again, I want to do the fast mat. So what was it, 90? 94 to 2018.

So 24 years. And when I met you... I was vegetarian. You were vegetarian. You were starting to fuck with fish sticks. We need to tell that story. In route to this answer. The salmon sticks.

Oh, no, damn it. Oh, my God. Let's tell Erin that really cool. Please, please. It is. Okay, so when we were filming Parenthood, I was clearly such a grimy bitch. And also, let me just say from my point of view,

I had met Joy before Parenthood. I'm like, oh, this is one of the most beautiful women on the planet. I thought that every time I met her, right? And now I'm on the show with her, and we're playing fiancés. Yeah. I'm like, I hit the lottery. Is this who I have to kiss? Is this former supermodel?

So just going into it, I'm like, I hit the lottery. Okay, sorry. Go ahead. I was a regular model. It wasn't really a supermodel, but I hear what you're saying. So on this one day, we have this scene where we're going to kiss. And the lead up to this scene, He has watched me.

Because at that time, I was smoking cigarettes. So he'd watch me have a cigarette with a cup of coffee. Then he watches me, like, you know, a little time goes out. I'm at the craft service. I'm eating a hard-boiled day. Oh, right? Hard-boiled days. Or there could have been either hard-boiled or like, what do you call them?

Oh, devil. It was either hard-boiled and deli, either hard-boiled, either hard-boiled deli, either in a boyfriend. Going hard on the eggs in the morning. Going hard on the eggs in the morning. Then I had, like, some salmon sticks or something. He was just gnawed on a salmon stick when I thought. And I'll go back to a cigarette and some coffee. I'm missing something.

There was one more thing that I were like. Those are the four I remember. It was like coffee, cigarettes, fucking eggs and salmon sticks. And I'm just, you snack it. I'm like, this is a real fuck you to me. He's clucking. What did I do? So then he finally goes, you got to pick one.

You can't do all four. You can't smoke, drink coffee, eat carp-wold eggs, and fucking salmon sticks. And then I expect to kiss me. You got to pick one. And I don't even care what it is. You can't do all four. I can't do the cornucopia.

You cannot do all four. You got to pick one. And I was like, oh, damn. You know what? My dad. You know what? I changed my life. Oh, my God.

Changed my life. I love that story. Yeah. Because for three of them, I'm like, I can't say anything. But once the fucking salmon sticks came out, I'm like, okay, I'm going to have this. But that's how I know that. This is my boy right here. Fuck is a salmon steak.

It was like some kind of stamen. It was like some jerky or something like that. Sure. Fucking fish jerky. Real salty fish. You can't do all four, bitch. You got to pick one thing. I'm only human.

Look at the size of this nose. I can smell and taste that. Pick one thing. And ever since then, I'm like, it's only one thing. My two favorite moments along those lines is like you're acting together, your friends. And then you have to hook up sometimes. And so I'm trying to be cool. And I say to Joy, like, before we have this crazy scene,

do you want to have a boundaries conversation? Like, I want to make sure I don't do anything, you know. And Joey goes, you can do whatever the fuck you want. Don't touch my hair. I'm like, wow, I'm so glad we had this conversation. Because you better touch a white chick's hair. She's expecting you to do something. That's like, that's standard for a white girl.

It's your fucking fingers on there. That scene is very nice. That's a great conversation. Yielded some learning and growth. I mean, I've lightened up a little bit more. Okay, okay. I mean, you can touch it. Well, then it led to her going like, no, no, listen, I wear a head scarf at night.

That's what it's called? Yeah. I mean, I guess now people are doing bonnets, but I would do it with the scarf. Yeah, and she's like, listen, I put my hair in a scarf at night. And if I don't have my scarf on Dave knows, okay, it's time. And I go, oh, yeah, this is an incredible indicator. All women should have headscarves. No, but also, I will take it off.

If it evolves. If it on, but, like, I'm going to take it off. That's just so good. I think this food deliver is pretty fun. I did, yeah. I do think you need to have food. There's two arguments to be made. One is, like, now we're so hungry.

I'm so hungry. Yeah, and we're going to fucking have so much fun eating. Oh, my God. Yeah, we're going to really go for it. We're going to have to order duck, pizza, everything we picked up. Yeah, wings. Well, Joy, I love you. Oh, my God.

Thanks for coming in a mom's car with us and delivering some food. This was so much fun. I'm so hungry.