Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard - Mom's Car: Karan Soni

Episode Date: September 2, 2025

On this week’s episode of Mom’s Car, we welcome actor Karan Soni. Karan, Dax, and Best Friend Aaron Weakley talk through Karan’s first Kristen connection when he was still working out his identity, his dad working for John Deere tractors which are made in India, remembering all gay storylines on TV being shame based, at what age discovering he was funny, a write-in question about possible levels of happiness moving back to one’s hometown, finally accepting that he couldn’t change his family with nagging, and BFAW & Dax's relationship throughout their sobriety journeys.#sponsored by @Allstate. Go to https://bit.ly/momscar to check Allstate first and see how much you could save on car insurance.Follow Mom's Car on the Wondery App or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch new content on YouTube or listen to Mom's Car ad-free by joining Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify. Start your free trial by visiting https://wondery.com/plus now.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hello, you caught me drinking and driving, a little Diet Coke. Welcome to Mom's Car. Today we have one of the sweetest boys in America, Car and Sony. You know him from a nice Indian boy, Deadpool Ghostbusters. He's impossibly funny and has an incredible life story. And I hope you enjoy the ride with Cornsoni. Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate first. Like, you know, to check your phones in your pocket before leaving the house.

Checking first is smart, so check Allstate First for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability, Allstate, North America, Insurance, Co, and affiliates, North Brook, Illinois. And I told Aaron, I'm like, I might be a little different here in L.A. and there's Michigan, because no one here is employed, every single person is trying to become an actor. I was going to say, it's actually really triggering me a little bit. I used to work at a restaurant. I never did this, but I'm starting to already be like, oh, God.

In L.A. restaurant? You know the Equinox on Sunset? Yes. They used to be a Mexican restaurant there. And my hardest sell was our steak tacos. Okay, you guess the price. The ingredients were just steak and three days. tacos in Los Angeles in 2011-12.

Okay, I'm going to have to adjust down then. I was going to say $12.99 for that, $13.99, but I guess I'm going to go $11.99. It's Mexican fine dining. $32. We couldn't sell them. And we were getting yelled out. And it was across the street from Pekito Moss. So it's already not helping. And the chef would be like, would you go to a steakhouse and pay $32 for a steak?

And we're like, yeah. And they're like, it's the same steak. I just cut it up and put it in tortillas. It's all about packaging. Yeah, I don't know what it's going to sell. It makes a point about packaging. Yeah. Even we do get a food order.

When we get a food order. We picked a great time to deliver food. It's an hour before rush hour, and it's raining in L.A. It's always the worst time to drive a car. I think we will get a lot of orders because it's raining. I would think, yeah, people want to venture out. There you go. A lot of warm soup, like warming up their cockles.

Yeah. Yeah, Michigan, no snowstorms. the drivers get crazy orders. So, Karen, the reason I wanted to do this was because Aaron's been driving Uber. Yeah, he was saying. And I'm so jealous, because once a week

he has an insane story. Uber's the new 7-Eleven. Did he already tell you? I did not say that, I didn't say that, too. I'm just using the armcherry brain to put the bases together. Yes, I said to Aaron, you have figured out how to work at 7-Eleven, but you don't never have to

reach for any sodas. You're just Sit and be at 7-Eleven. Yeah. And do you enjoy driving, Aaron? I guess that's a big part of it, too. Because if you enjoy driving, it just makes it easy. Oh, yeah. The driving doesn't bother me.

You're all set. We drove professionally, Aaron and I for 14 years. Hundreds and hundreds of miles at a time. In the same car, separate. We worked for GM and we would go to, let's say, the New York Auto Show. We'd be in New York for eight days, and we would sit in front of the Jacob Javitt Center and wait for guests of General Motors to get in our car and we would drive them to their hotel or to a dinner. So we had to have.

have spent years of our life sitting in a car on a curb in New York City. I didn't even know this to today. I made a conscious decision to not research you, Karin. Yes, please. So to bring anyone up to speed, I met you because you've done an inordinate amount of projects with Kristen. I have, but I've met you, not met you, but we were in the same room once. I was remembering today. Audition room.

For the same part? No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. This is also Hollywood a few years ago, so I was auditioning to play a gas station attendant. was not. Well, let's tell you what the role was. It was the film Identity Thief. Oh, Bateman.

And we were doing chemistry, or he was in the room. It was on Larchmont, and you were talking to Terry Cruz when I walked into the room. That tracks. I'm friends with him. Yes, and you guys were, like, really getting along. And then I just remember being like, oh, wow, I'm like in the big leagues. I didn't get it. I don't think you got it.

And I don't even remember reading for it. What I like about your stories, it was all positive to you. Because I could also see you getting in there to audition and be like, Fuck, there's all these guys, and they don't know each other already. Oh, oh, my God. We're up. We're up. Oh, my God.

I got to do a U-turn. Okay, we're going to the best fucking hot chicken in Los Feliz. I know exactly where this is. Oh, you do? I've lived in this neighborhood for almost 15 years. Oh, you have? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have you moved around within this neighborhood or same spot?

Really? I had a crazy thing where I was 24. I got my first TV show, and I didn't know what to do with the money. I just panicked because I was like, you can't have this much money in a bank. Yes, you'll lose it. So I just put it down payment on an apartment. I've just lived in that. Oh, wow.

Karin, you haven't driven with me. No. I grew up in Delhi, which you visited recently. Yes. So you've seen the driving there. This doesn't phase me. How old were you when you left? 18.

Really? I was for college to go to USC. In your 30s now? I'm 36. Half your life you've been here. I'm at the half point now, yeah, which is really weird. I hope this doesn't sound xenophobic. I would expect you to have a much thicker accent.

One, you're going to hear it as time goes back. As you get scared. The driving accelerates? I forced myself to lose it. Somehow I did, because some people can't, but I listen to NPR. They spoke slowly, and I would repeat the way they said it, but I can't do any other accent.

So this is it. Whatever this is, and my original Indian. You couldn't play English? No, there's just no way. Do you think if he tried to do English, you would unravel what you've been? Like literally short-circuit. Have you spent a lot of time in New York?

No, I haven't. I want to. I did one month. I did the New York Film Academy. Okay. And that was it. We already have our food? Oh, my God.

Aaron, is there usually more of a weight? I feel like that was really fast. Yes. Well, my other question, do you ever eat the food? Yes, every time. Every single time. I guess it's steel. They staple the shit out of it so people cannot do that.

Well, I was asking about New York, Carmen, because what I find is in New York, you could be literally on fire. And people just walk by you. Ways we've tried to get attention in New York when we were younger and just everyone knows, they can ignore anything. I saw the wildest New York thing last year I was there. You know, those vertical changing tents almost? It's usually for one person.

I've only seen it on set. There were two unhoused people having sex. Oh, in the middle of the day. And there was a lot of moaning. And people didn't care. It was so shocking. Can you see the silhouettes? Yeah, because they were small,

and then it was partially open. Okay, you got to breathe, I would guess. It was warm. When I first came to go to college, my first weekend, I was like, I want to go to Hollywood Boulevard. I took the bus from USC with a bunch of people. And I remember it was so glamorous, but it's been the same. But my perspective, I was like, this is it. And I put my hands in the hands.

And now I imagine, like, how sick that is. Yeah, yeah. But I have all these photos of me smiling with my hands and that. And, like, truly, all this could have been happening. I have no memory. of it. It was so glamorous, and I was one of those stories. And I feel like you would be good to ask, although who knows? Because I've seen so many dicks in my life of my friends and stuff.

And the only thing I think that I would agree is actually quite consistent is hand size does seem to be related. Definitely. Yeah. And when I went there as well and put my hands in Eastwood's hands, which are there, I was like, oh, he's got a ton of sausage. Like, no wonder he's funny. I don't know him, but the vibe. I don't either. Yeah, yeah, it feels right.

I was like, oh, this makes so much sense. So when you applied to college at USC from Delhi, were they calling it New Delhi yet? When did it become New Delhi? Because there's an old deli, too. Did you go to Old Delhi? To the spice market and stuff? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That was the funnest part of the whole trip, really, was on a rickshaw going through there, seeing the men clean each other's ears and stuff. Yes, yes, shave outdoors. Get one of your questions ready, because what I don't know if you know, Karn is that there will be a portion of this show where people have submitted questions, and we'll try to work through and give some kind of perspective.

Okay. I'll be right back. Yes. There was about 700 submissions. Oh, my God. I did read through every single one of them. Good for you. Because I'm very excited.

And I'm very humbled by the whole thing. I love that so many people are interested in this. Did you knock? I didn't knock. Am I supposed to? No, no, no. I wonder if the X is going to not listen to the instructions. I thought better of it.

I wanted to, because I'm like, I hope they know it's here, and it's not getting cold. But then I took a picture. Okay, good, go. I do need to hear the story quickly before we get to that. Okay. How are you in India and then you know about USC? The very good question, because there's the first Kristen connection is in this story because the show, The OC, was very popular in Delhi when I was there.

And I was in the closet in high school, so I had no identity of who I was. Yeah. And that show came out and all the cool kids, I used to get bullied a lot, and all the cool kids loved the OC. Yeah. And then they were like, you're kind of like the Indian Seth Cohen, which is Adam's character because I've got hair, and he made nerds cool. Yeah.

And so I became obsessed with that show and became obsessed with California. I'd never been to California. Okay. So my dad works for John Deere. No. Yeah. Oh, wonderful. They're made in India.

Oh, big twist. What? A lot of the tractors made it in India and assembled here. You might have to edit that. I thought they were made in like Iowa or Indiana or something. Right. Indiana. Maybe it's Indiana.

Yeah, there's... You're like, was that an extra A on Indiana? Yeah, well, I'm going to say that. And so we grew up worshipping John Deere because that was my dad's client. It's a great company. It's a great company. Visit America, but only been to New York

because you kind of land in New York and then been to Vegas for tractor conventions. Oh, yeah. And then that was it. So California on that show was magical. The kids, the locker rooms. So is it safe to say you guys were upper middle class? The other thing was I was an agriculture,

Nepo baby, as in, that was going to be my job. Very Indian sun thing of you run the family business. Yes. So I didn't even really need to go to college because I was supposed to just go do this job with him. And you learn on the job. Was he a dealer? No, he was an engineer.

And then he started a factory. By the time, I was graduating college, had 500 employees. Oh, my, wow. Expanded to Caterpillar. You're rich. I know you don't want anyone to know, but you're rich, 500 employees.

Whoa, that's not much. My dad worked like seven days a week, and I, as a kid, had laid the first break at the factory. Everyone in the factory called me Little Boss. Oh, that's so cute. It was this thing where I was like, I didn't even have ambition or dreams because I was like, I'm just going to do this. I had no interest in it, but I didn't even think that was the thing.

And so my dad's dream was always to study in America. And he went to college in India, but he did business with Americans. And he loved the American mindset of business and how Americans think. And he was always fascinated with all that. So he was like, I always wanted to do this. You should go do it, get a business degree, and maybe he'll bring some knowledge or something back. So I was applying to school sort of just for the business school. Were you funny as a kid?

No, no, no. You weren't. Because I was bullied so badly that I had no personality because any kind of standing up would be punished. If San Francisco is at 10, as far as like ease of coming out, where's India? When I was there, like a one or lower, it's illegal still to be married. You don't see any couples or any people in a relationship. I saw women together in New Delhi on our trip. Which is good.

I think it's like getting a much better. now. And I want to say there's even a neighborhood our guide took us to that was like, this is pretty open. I remember seeing my first same sex club lesbian couple at USC, my first day, like, welcome week. And I followed them on campus because I literally was like, who's going to do the first hate crime? Yeah, you want to witness. Yes. You don't have missed a good show. I'm like, where does this end? And they were like very beautiful and cool and like they were holding hands and no one cared. They weren't nervous.

My mind was just blown by that idea. Even though you probably were seeing. on TV now from American shows or not really? Every other gay story. Which you were on, by the way. One episode. But the gay storylines used to be shame-based. So, like, the OC had a storyline with, like, the Jock's dad was making out with another dad.

He was, like, ostracized in school because he had a gay dad. They didn't look inviting or safer here. It was all sort of, like, around that kind of stuff. But I became obsessed with California, essentially. And then I was applying a bunch of schools. Then USC gave me the best deal. So I ended up going there. The second you got here were, like, I'm never going home.

I got to figure out how to stay here? The second I got to USC, I was like, where are the white people? Because it's in a part of L.P. Everything was in Spanish. This is not what you saw in Hollywood. You saw Beverly Hills. So I got to USC and I think I was imagining what UCLA is. Well, that would have shocked you too because I went there.

I think it was 31% cocazoid when I was there. Okay. And it was 39% Asian. So you would have also been like, where are the white people here maybe, too. Great, yeah. So we had similar experiences. But I was a white person, so I was like, oh, yeah, bring it. It's all Asian girls.

We didn't have these in Michigan. Oh, you were so excited. Oh, absolutely. Truly, it was an education. Where we grew up, we just were ignorant. If there was an Asian person in our school, they were Chinese. You didn't know about any other? You didn't say Asian.

By the way, in India, same. We don't know the difference between, like, Japanese, Vietnamese, any of this. We just say China. Put it in one category. That's comforting. Our terribleness. No, no, no, no, no. But I got there, I was like, oh, I see, I could guess high probability that someone's Korean or Vietnamese.

Within a semester there, I was like, oh, yeah, I get the whole thing. It's so different, yeah. But yeah, when I got to USC, that was, and my parents came to drive me, and the other thing was, there was a car I distinctly remember that had bullet holes inside, and my mom just started crying. But people, no, no, no, USC is downtown Los Angeles. Yeah, it's very nice now. I don't know if you've been recently. It's night and day different. It's, like, very gentrified, but it was still a little, like.

rough. Yeah, and you weren't like, okay, I got to stay here. No, but I remember I did fall in love with it. But at that point, I became obsessed with this idea that there was a ticking clock of four years and I had to make the most of it and then go back home and then hide this part of myself again. You're a Cinderella. Yeah, exactly.

And the clock was going to strike in four years. Yeah, exactly. You know, I came up with the student visa. So it's like, there is a literal clock where it's like, you can't stay in the country. I just remember being like, every day felt like I've lost another day. Oh, like you're a panic you're running out of time for four years? Oh, that's weird. Yeah, almost like you had been given a diagnosis.

You were going to die. I did not make the most of that day. So you discovered you were funny at what age? Well, the first time I got last was because I did a play in high school, actually, but I didn't realize it was a comedy. So I played everything real. And I didn't put it together, and people were laughing. And I just remember being like, are they laughing at me?

Like, I didn't understand. Right, at me or with me. And then when I was at USC, I ended up doing UCB, which was a big thing. That feels like a very out of left field. if you've not thought of yourself as funny while you would enroll. Because by my sophomore year, essentially, my dad didn't have this job anymore. He had to sell his business. Oh, no.

They moved to Augusta, Georgia. Oh, again? I'm just throwing you on pictures. Wow. That's John Deere country, too. And so he runs this John Deere warehouse in Augusta now. Oh, wow. He took over that 500-person factory.

Now it has 1,600 employees. Oh, my goodness. And that's the home of the Masters? Correct. Yes, yes, yes. He's big into golf now. I was just watching Full Swing. I can't stand golf, but I love that reality show Full Swing. Is that, like, the drive to survive?

It's exactly. Same company, box to box. But it's not making you want to play the sport? Not at all, but it makes me want to walk around Augusta because it's impossibly beautiful. How green and perfect it is. It's like Disneyland. I want to see it. So maybe I can stay with your dad. Oh, yeah, they have plenty of room. My mom loves to host. Uh-huh. Do they love Georgia? They really love it now, but it was a big shock.

Because, I mean, for me moving, but like, they moved in their 50s. And they left Delhi, which you've been to, which is multicultural, every kind of food, every kind of culture, everything is happening to go there. Southern white. Yeah, it's just a smaller world a little bit. But they really love it now because all their friends are doctors. We weren't never friends of doctors in India because it's so different because every Indian American seems to be a doctor.

But, like, in India... They're the same percentages here. Yeah, it's like, that's just my doctor. Like, you don't think of it as like the Indian doctor or something. Yeah, yeah. But here, they're the only... non-doctors in the community, everyone's a doctor, and it's like their health has gone better, and they're in this doctor world. Is there a big Indian community there?

Yeah. Even back then, when they moved in 2009, I was like, where are you guys going? I've never heard of this place. It's two hours from Atlanta, and Atlanta is a big medical community, I guess. And so a lot of those doctors leave and create a private practice. My parents bought their first house in Georgia for $250,000. And it was $6,000. Six bedrooms. Yes, exactly. But forget the bedrooms. There was a bowling alley. Oh, no. For $250,000. It didn't work. And meanwhile, you come and buy a fucking million-dollar apartment that's $1,200 square feet? It's like crazy.

But, you know, it's those old Georgia homes that are, like, huge mansions. Steeped in a kind of a plantation-y vibe. Yes, the vibe is strong. But now, Augusta has changed a lot because it's not just golf, the NSA computers there. You know, the thing that was created after 9-11 that scans our texts and emails and stuff? Right. The government thing that was, like, basically to help catch terrorism stuff. Yeah.

The big supercomputer that's doing all that is in Augusta random. Oh, really? They moved it there. So they're a nuke site. The good news for them is they're definitely one of the first that will be bombed. Tell them I said that. Okay, great. I've been trying to figure out because we're watching the show, Paradise,

and there's a nuclear holocaust. Okay. And they blow up Atlanta in the show. And I'm like, well, clearly they would blow L.A. up. But we built a house in Nashville. I'm like, I think they would blow up a bunch of cities before they got to Nashville, I'd like to think. But your parents, they're done. Yeah, okay.

They have that computer there. Okay, perfect. And here I was worried about them aging. The computer is the first thing to go. Get that offline ASAP. Get that computer off. Okay, you want to hit us with one of the questions? Okay, so I named this one, small town.

She said, would love for you to discuss. any angle of the challenges faced by moving back home to your small-ass hometown. I just did it, and it's so weird because nothing changes, but people get older. It's just a very unique, odd experience coming back as an adult. I know you don't live in your hometown, but just would love to hear your thoughts on that and what maybe it would be like for you and BFAW to do that. To me, my instinct is it would make me regress. I wouldn't actually not be happy there, even with money or whatever you're saying, all this other stuff.

Where I experienced that the most is when I'm with my family, my core family. I was just with them in San Francisco, and I have to play the role I had my whole childhood, which is like I'm a middle child, I'm trying to keep the peace. I'm stressed out about who's getting upset at who, and I got to make a joke. And yeah, I think moving back to the town, also, I had to leave our town in eighth grade because so many dudes wanted to kick my ass. When we got out of junior high, had I gone to Milford High where Aaron went? There was like 20 guys that were waiting to knock me out in the first day.

I was like terrified to go to that high school. Not because I was some nerd that was getting picked on, but I had dated these older girls and they fucking hated it. And I had a punk rock hairdo and they hated that. So I imagine if I went back now and I was loaded and had a gangster house, they'd want to kick my ass 10 times as bad as they wanted to. Because they haven't left. We thought about doing a reunion years ago.

we became best friends in seventh grade. Years ago, would have been our 30-year seventh-grade reunion. So we spoke about it over the phone. He had his sister look into it even about, like, we could go to our old school, rent it. We're going to rent Mewer Jr. High and have a reunion. What it boiled down to after a couple days of talking about it was, you're going to get killed.

Like, I'm supposed to have that. Oh, my God. Like, now people are really going to hate you because you have money and you really will fuck. And they were mad I was dating eighth graders. Now I'm married to Kristen Barrett. They're like, slice my throat. Yeah, it started off. First of all, Dex goes, well, Kristen, for sure, is not coming.

I will not let her near that. And I was like, well, what am I doing even going? I know. Then we thought, what a terrible idea. Yeah. Wait, Aaron, being his best friend ever resulted in these guys coming after you. It was the strangest thing. They didn't make the connection.

Everyone loved Aaron. The connection was made. He's much more lovable than I am. I love Dax so much, and people hated him. But I think a lot of them backed off because they saw how much I loved him. Oh, that's sweet. Even the bullies could see through the love. That's what you know it's wrong.

There were arguably a couple kids that were tougher than Aaron and I in junior high. Really made me one. This kid's controls. But I think the fact that certainly if you were going to fight one of us, you were fighting both of us. Yeah. So as long as we were together, I felt so safe. And then our other best friend was say this with his permission. He was called Fat Jack, and he himself would introduce himself as Fat Jack.

But he was very large and impossibly strong. He set the bench press record in high school in eighth grade. And he fought men. Numerous times we saw him fight adult men when he was 14. So if we were with Jack as well, we were like, Oh, we can act however we want. Yes, even around adults, we would be around adults. We'd just think, oh, no problem.

Jack's here. He'll handle all this. You can do anything. When you think of moving back to Delhi, what do you? I started therapy three years ago. It's life-changing. But prior to that, I used to have crazy anxiety. My other anxiety was I became American citizens.

So I have American passport. But I used to, when I leave the country, I hold onto the password. Like, I check it obsessively because I have this feeling like I'll get stuck or something. Yeah. It's like this unrealistic anxiety, whatever, but I used to have this very sinky feeling on the plane, like I'll get stuck there. But I will say all these things come back when I go home for Thanksgiving or whatever to Augusta, where old issues, like I'm such an annoying person around my parents and stuff. And then finally with therapy, I was like, oh, this is just old stuff that's coming back and you can stop it. There's a thread.

I don't have to pull on this thread. And I'm so much more pleasant to be around now because I've just dealt with some of that stuff. What was the pattern you would get into when you were on it? Would you be braddy? My parents, I'm recently always stressed about their health. In India, exercise and stuff wasn't a big thing when I was there. You know, as they're getting older, they're not taking care of themselves as much. And I go straight to this place of like, you don't love me.

Because you know what you need to do. You're not doing it. And then I see them eating something and they're just enjoying life. I'm like, judgy. And then I become like, I'm going to eat the salad, no dressing. Like, I'm missing. You're putting on the show. And I'm like, this is how we live in California.

I'm like, I don't even want to... With your shirt off. And the result is this. And then with my sister, there's so much history, but there was this deep thing that I had not worked out before therapy, which is that because she's straight, I had always had this feeling that she had it easier because she didn't have to deal with this stuff.

And then I would have this expectation on her, like, what have you done with it being easier? It's all my own stuff. I actually didn't even see who she was as a person. Like, she's 33 now. And I had just missed all of it because I was so judgmental. And I think being away from them in Lale made it worse. because I was like independent doing my own thing here.

Then you go back there and it's like all of it is back. And I was just like, okay, I'm not going to pull on the thread three years ago. And it was hard. And there were moments where I did break. I was so much more pleasant to be around. And then they were so much more pleasant. And it just is better. And there'll be moments like when I went back, I saw them eating some stuff and I'm like,

this is not good. But ultimately, I'm just going to go home. Yeah. When my dad got diagnosed with cancer, I would go home. And mind you, he had gout also and heart disease also. So he couldn't get out of bed the last three months he was alive, basically. We know what food you should and shouldn't eat if you have gout. And I would run out to go get a prescription or whatever errand I'd run.

And I'd come back and he'd be in the middle of time, get that plate out of here. And he would have eaten a cheeseburger while I was gone. And I remember going like, Dan, I'm fucking flying home. And then you're sneaking a cheeseburger. After he died, I was like, that was such a waste of time. Yeah, bro, you're in bed with fucking gout. You're dying. He should eat in a thousand cheeseburger.

and I should have just shut up. And however, someone wants to handle their terrible situation. But I think that's so interesting what is because in L.A., I was making only friends that had no family. Ficking the people that you enjoy, but family is going to kind of stay who they are. That's right. And you kind of just have to accept that I'm not going to change them by my nagging.

No. They're not going to change you. They're not going to. Yes. And then you have to go like, and obviously I won't. It's hard to accept that. It's very hard. We didn't have any advice.

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I would like to tell you one story about Aaron and I. Yes, please. We were living together in Dearborn, Michigan. And Aaron bought a motorcycle for 500 bucks or something. Exactly. It was a Suzuki GS-650. Is that what it was? GS-6-50.

Oh, drive-champ. Yeah, I think so. Yeah. So he got this motorcycle. It's not a nice motorcycle, and it doesn't have the big enough engine. And we decide one afternoon, sitting in our apartment. We both had wanted to go to Austin, Texas. We heard it was really great.

We had never been. And we were like, let's ride that new motorcycle of yours down to Austin. We had two milk crates that we bungee corded to the back, and each person got a milk crate worth of storage. And we got on this motorcycle, and by the time we got to Indiana, which is only like maybe 100 miles or so. Yeah, it's really close.

We were both already so miserable, but we were not going to admit it. To each other. And then the craziest thing, which is there's nothing worse than being a passenger on a motorcycle. But this was so grueling and uncomfortable that you didn't want to be driving because there was too much wind. And the rule was you had to drive until you needed gas, which worked out to about 100 miles a tank. If you were driving the motorcycle, you just couldn't wait to get to the gas station, get on back. And Aaron later admitted to me he was crying.

Oh, I was sobbing. You're like, oh, no, is it already been 100 miles? We got all the way to St. Louis. We had gone 600 miles on this motorcycle, but we had like 13 or 1,400 miles to go. And we got to all the way to fucking St. Louis. And I think I broke. We were at a gas station. It was my turn to drive.

And I go, I don't think I can do it. I'm like, thank God. We were so really, and I'm like, how long have you hated it? And he's like, since Indiana, I'm like, me too. I was considering suicide to get out of it. It was just torture. But what's crazy is once we decided we were no longer going to Austin, we're like, oh, cool, we can get off the highway.

We can stop going 80 and we'll take country roads back. New attitude, baby. All of a sudden, it was great. And we were just like cruising down country roads, and we found a big field. And we found someone to buy us beer. We weren't 21. So we got a case of beer, and we're sitting in this field and we're drinking. We have nothing.

We're just going to sleep in the grass. And I swear to God. God, out of nowhere, there's an enormous fireball, like the biggest fireball you've ever seen. And we're like, oh, my God, what's that? And we realize we're only like 300 yards away from a drag strip. A jet dragster is on the line hitting the afterburn. So then we took our beers and we went over to the fence

and we were watching drag racing. Oh, and it was the greatest night ever. Wait, so, Aaron, I don't know as much about your story. So you moved out to California also. Where did you move when you left? Well, we came out here together when we were 18 and just lived out of a car. Were you already going to UCLA? Did you know that?

I was never going to go to college. I had no intentions of being an actor. I wanted to do stand-up is all I thought, but I was certainly not going to try it in Detroit. And I had read on the road by Kerouac, and I was just obsessed with that. And we took road trips on every break we had when we were in high school. So once, well, I graduated, Aaron Dinnet. Which was its own moral conundrum. Like, are we allowed to leave this summer?

Do we wait for another semester? Yeah, I was like, what's fucking go. Oh, my God, I don't care. Everyone's also going to a high school that you could smoke cigarettes in the classroom. It was that type of a high school. Sure, sure, sure, sure. And we decided he wasn't missing out on a ton of education. So we left and we lived in the car for, like, four months.

And when we came out here and we met a ton of people in Santa Barbara, and we spent a bunch of time there and a bunch of time in a task there, and all these little California towns. Made friends. We're in Utah for a while. Worked a little bit doing the car show thing occasionally. And then we came back home. And then I was there for another year and a half.

Right before I turned 20, I was like, I got to leave Detroit. I'm just going to be drunk. It was a good trap. We were so happy. There was four of us that lived together. We all had so much fun. We only had to work like fucking a week a month to make rent. It was easy to drink.

I got to go, and I was like, what's the problem? You mean paradise? I just had this inkling. I'm like, oh, I'm going to blink and I'm going to be 28 and wake up in this apartment. And I got to get out of here. And at the same time, I was like, I hope I blink and I'm 28. You're like, that sounds amazing. And I've done nothing.

Was it hard then to leave and come back here? Yeah, I went to Santa Barbara the first year because we had met people there. But of course, they had all either graduated or left UCSB. I really didn't know anybody there. I was so fucking lonely. And then I finally did do stand-up one night while living in Santa Barbara, but visiting L.A. And then I was like, what am I doing? I came all the way here, but I'm not.

So then I moved to L.A. on my 21st birthday, went to community college and then ultimately transferred to UCLA. But Aaron, during that whole time, went to work with his dad, which we had worked for in high school. Roofing. In Michigan. Yes. Okay. Which is a very brutal job. I was going to say.

Yeah, it's about as brutal. it gets. And then Aaron, how long did you do that? Oh, God. Ten years? Yeah, quite a while. Right up my hour. Until he bought inherited, how would you describe it? Oh, the bar? Yeah. Both. Bought into it with a few dollars. His family owned this Irish bar right next to Tiger Stadium, his whole childhood. And then they were all done running it basically. And Aaron's like, I want to run it. The fact that that experience didn't kill you is almost not possible. Because you after 10 years of the other job.

But, like, in the thick of it in Detroit, running a bar that was mostly bikers were visiting and punk rock dudes. So you saw some stuff. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. So Uber or his car driving is nothing, dude. Your stuff is like, you've seen it all. Yeah, it's a two compared to three in the morning at the logger house.

Well, Dax knows. I showed up at some point at his doorstep in Santa Monica without warning. There's a knock at my door. Oh, my gosh. And I open it up, and Aaron looks like he was just pulled up from the bottom of the Detroit River. He looks like he's dead. He looks like a zombie. This is during the bar job. Yeah, yeah. I don't even

know how I figured out how to get myself a plane ticket at that point. I was just like I'm dead tonight if I don't leave, so I fucking left. Because St. Patty's Day would come, and he would do a ton of business. He'd have thousands of dollars of cash all of a sudden, and he liked to smoke cracks, so

it was on. Right? I see, I see, I see, I see, I see. Just days of debt going on. I had quit drinking at this point. And every I'm like, you know, we'll see if weekly makes it through. I mean, I know it'll be off the map for four days. So, it was zero dollars at the end of it. People working for me didn't know where I was.

I just trusted everything was running. That was the birth of one of my favorite weeklyisms, which is he shows up and he's like, I think I was going to die if I didn't get on a plane. So he's coming off of like a four-day run of smoking crack in people's apartments in Detroit. I'm always trying to figure out, like, is this it? Is he joining me in a surprise? Or is he just trying to get off the pipe for a minute? Sure, sure.

Which is the case as it turned out. Oh, no. So I'm like, yeah, come on in. Great, you're here. And then we went out to a bar in Korea Town. I think it was karaoke. He orders a drink. I'm like, okay, he's definitely drinking.

Sure. Who cares? And he gets a little drunk. And he comes out of the bathroom. And he comes up to me and he goes, Dad, fuck. And I go, Terence Posner's in the bathroom. And I go, Terence Posner?

He goes, yes, Terence Posner's in the bathroom. And I go, what are you talking about? He goes, the fucking boy wizard. The guy from the movie. And I go, Harry Potter? Yes, yes. Oh, Daniel Radcliffe? And it wasn't.

So first it was Terrence Posner's in the bathroom. Then I figure out he's talking about Harry Potter. So I'm looking for Daniel Rackcliffe And there's a guy in glasses That's what the movie was out Of course The face was everywhere Yeah

Dude, I trapped them in the That's so funny Hey, Terrence Posner Yeah Oh my God I know when you were saying that I'm like, am I supposed to know who that is I don't know

What's more or less offensive If someone thinks you're Harry Potter Or Terence Posner Because if they think you're Terence Posner You're like Oh he's a dude this guy work with. But if you think you're handsome and you get compared to a little boy,

that might be a little more hurtful. Yeah, that's true. Was that when you came out to L.A. on your own and you guys were separated? Was that hard because you were obviously so close? Or were you sort of like, I just need to get out and it's going to be fine? I think I just have always accepted what it is because I'm an addict. I just was like, yeah, he's not going to stop until there's no phone call I'm going to make. And also some level of, who am I to say how Aaron's life supposed to be?

I wanted him to go in a show business. I wanted him to come be funny with me. That's what we were in junior high, but he didn't have those dreams or aspirations. He was visiting one time and I forced him to go to this back when I was like reading backstage West and just going to anything. I didn't have an agent. They were casting an MTV dating show. Or maybe it wasn't even a network.

I might have been. No, it was, I think it was a WB. Okay. It was something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I make Aaron go with me. It's in Hollywood. And you're behind a big sheet of paper illuminated so that they can see your silhouette.

And they're asking you questions. I did it. And then I'm like, Aaron, you should do it. You're here. And then Aaron just walked through a piece of paper in the middle. Let me guess. They did not love that. They didn't.

They don't either of us. Oh, my gosh. Did you want Aaron to be a stand-up? Like, what part of entertainment were you like he would kill? I wasn't sure. Because I didn't even know when I was. doing. I came to do a stand-up, and then I went to a groundling show, and I was like, oh, this feels way more like what I could do. You're not by yourself. It's not as scary.

I do characters already. Just he and I had like 10 characters we did all growing up. And so that was a much more appealing, less scary avenue. But yeah, I just didn't say really anything. And then when I was home, we always hung out, and Aaron always figured out how to like manage his addiction while I was there very thoughtfully. But I would be aware of like, I know this is hard. You're saying it doing such a chill away, that seems really hard to do, because it seems like you obviously love him very much. Oh, I love that.

But there's a chance he wouldn't have gotten sober, right? That's scary. Yeah, I guess because I was one, I just know how it works. There's nothing you can say. No. One of the things I look back on where I feel bad about, he lived in a barn for a while in Michigan. And we were partying in this barn. I'm like, uh-huh, make a mental note of that.

It was actually a trailer inside of a barn, which is kind of even better. It was a single-line trailer inside. of a bar. You have two roofs over your head. Very weird. Yes, he's been pervious to rainfall. We're there, we're partying, we're riding four-wheelers. It's a blast.

He goes into town to get some more beer, and then eventually we get a call, and he got a DUI. And he's calling from jail. This is how selfish and addict is. I'm panicked. He's going to quit drinking. That's all I can think about. I don't care that he gets fucked up his license. He calls.

And he's like, yeah, I'm at jail. And I was like, okay. Are they going to let you out? Do we need to come get you? Whenever we're talking logistics, and then there's a beat. And I go, are you going to quit drinking? Oh, my. You're like, you're going to fuck no one.

And I was like, oh, great. I don't really care about any of this. The most stressful part was that he might quit because he got this DUI. So knowing that's where my head was at about someone I love more than anybody, I just was like, yeah, you're going to do it until you're just so fucking miserable. You don't want to do it. And when you saw him sober. before you, what was you thinking?

Tough question. Plusie. Yeah, did you judge that at all? No, I thought the exact opposite. People do think that. When I got sober, I was like, oh, God, this is real. I was like, yeah, everyone's like fucking. It triggers.

Fuck face. Like, they're just so bad. If they feel betrayed, yeah. Yeah, betrayed, everything. I think they immediately think you think you're better than them. Yeah, yeah. Like when someone leaves your pod to get sober, you're like, oh, they think we're a shit. But I saw that from a lot of people when Dex got sober.

I never felt that once. You didn't? No, I felt happy for him. Yeah. The whole time I never felt that. No, yeah, and I never ever detected anything but support. Yeah, I picked his brain once in a while, but not too often. Not enough to get too much on it. Does it make it feel like attainable or easier that, you know, someone used to drink like you,

and they were able to stop or you don't even compare yourself. Oh, God. You probably didn't think about it much. Like, when you're in it, you're so distracted by it. You have like immediate goals all the time. This is the beauty of being an addict. And then you're just kind of doing it with them anyways. Yes.

And the thing I miss about being an addict is it kind of right sizes your problems. It's like you care about all this other stuff on some level. But you have such a more immediate goal at all times, which is maintain how fucked up I am or figure out how to get fucked up or deal with the fucking shitstorm I just call. pause long enough to then get back to drinking or whatever the thing is. So you're not spending a lot of time with existential concerns or shit years away. You're living in the moment, which is like, it's not sober up.

That's the goal. Yeah, that was the goal for the last 10 years probably. I couldn't stand to be sober for five minutes because I couldn't deal with reality and what maybe these questions might come to. I was like, oh, my God. Or just that too, all the wreckage that's piling up. Yeah, that's over. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But I'll say I was always still shut because I would go back to Detroit and I'd be with Aaron and everyone's drinking. Of course, I want everyone to drink. I hated when people wouldn't drink around me. I was like, hmm, Aaron's got to be doing Coke. He's too straight to have had 13 drinks and everyone else is getting sloppy and Aaron's still a good hang. Aaron was never a bad hang even when he was fucked up. But he was never admitting he was doing Coke to me. Maybe because he knew I loved Coke.

And then when he finally got sober, he's like, oh yeah, I was doing Coke every single day for us. Ten years. And I'm like, oh, my God. Then I'm thinking how stressful it was all the times he was with me. Like, fuck, I got to go to the bathroom. I mean, is he noticing how many times I've been to the bathroom? The only thing I ever noticed is just like Aaron's much sharper than everyone else that's been drinking. Something smells.

But that's still really impressive because you would have picked up on anything when you didn't. Which I think means he was probably suffering not going in. The anxiety of like there's a window here. Totally. The longer you do coke, the better you get at sneaking it in the Patreon when he's doing it. I didn't sign the AA meeting. But, yeah, like, I could just be laughing. Everyone's laughing.

I could turn around and just go, because that's how easy I could do it. Wow. I've never, never done cocaine. But I'll tell you, we had a little bit of a weird moment before he got sober, which was Air went into the hospital because he had a mask in his lungs, which turned out to be an infection. But when he called me, he had, like, cough so hard driving his truck,

He passed out and then... Hit a wall in the jury. Out of nowhere stopped drinking. And I was in the hospital. That's the first full-fledged cry I have had since I was 11. Oh, my God. Not the timing on this. And now you're going to cry because you've got a job.

Oh, shit. Are we there? Oh, my God. We're damn near there. Right on the other side of the light. So I really had a big, maybe all the years of ignoring, like Aaron's health, probably going downhill. when I see him.

I mean, what was happening is I would visit and Aaron, who always looked younger than me looked much older than me. That was always trippy, like, wow, it's so weird Aaron looks older than me. But I went home to see him in the hospital for a few days, and I just hung with him in the hospital,

and it was so wonderful. Okay, what place? Oh, it's right here, up ahead. Oh, you know, God, we brought the person in the person. I know. You see that neon sign? That's nature well. Oh, my God.

You're going to have to be in every episode. I don't have kids, so, yeah. I almost forget this is an episode or something. All right. Let's go get some food. So the doctor was saying, like, we don't know if he has lung cancer, which would make total sense. He smoked three packs a day.

They were, like, we're waiting for the HIV test to come back. I'm starting to think, like, oh, my God. You're like, wow, fuck Aaron only made it to 45 or I guess 44. His dad died really young. My dad died really young. And I was just like, oh, God. this is all just repeating, and it's just so sad. He made it through that, and he got on a crazy regimen of antibiotics,

and the mass started shrinking, and then ultimately he was released, and then he decided he was going to quit drinking, and I was so excited. And then I happened to be back in Michigan, we were doing a live tour. We planned it so we would have, like, three weeks in Michigan on the lake, and then Aaron came out for most of it. He wasn't drinking, but what I didn't know is Aaron was still doing cocaine. That was the version of sober I got one time as well. Drinking's the problem.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can handle this one. Then enters a little bit tricky of a zone, which is this happened to me before. It's like people want to quit. Then they come to me to quit. And then they relapse. And I don't care. I'm not going to be judgmental.

Ultimately, I find out he's been drinking again. And then another, I guess, eight months goes by or something like that. About six months. Okay. Six more months of drinking. Those six months are fucking horrendous. It makes me want to cry thinking about those six months. This is an important part of the story.

First of all, Aaron is always very quick texting me back, no matter if he is fucked up or not. And also, he was growing weed at the time. And he wanted to buy the house next door to his house to grow wheat in that house as well. It was a very cheap house. And so I said, I'll buy it for you, and you can pay me nominal rent. So we go through this whole process. I buy this house. We close on it.

And I call him to say, we're closed. And then he doesn't call me back. And I text him, and I text him. I text him. and, like, five days goes by. And I'm like, something is wrong. He wanted this house. He's got the house,

and he's not even going to pick up the phone to talk about that he has the house, and then where the keys and stuff. So he finally calls me. He's like, oh, dad, sorry. He didn't call you, man. I had the worst flu. Sorry.

And I literally go, you've got to be kidding me that you think I don't know what's going on. Who are you talking to? Your mom? Oh, my God. And then you just kind of dropped that facade, and I had never, ever said to him,

I think you should get sober, but I said... Well, so you said it then. I said, hey, I think you're going to die, and I love you. And if you want, I found a treatment center in the Caribbean. I could send you right now. And when I said that,

I would have really put the odds of him saying yes at like 8%. Really? Yeah. Then he just goes, yeah, I think it's time to do that. And I was like, oh, my God, thank God. Like, I've wanted this to happen for at that point 16 years. And then the most dangerous part of the whole story tell him then he agrees.

And then he doesn't have a pass for it. And he knows he's going to treatment, which is the worst scenario for an addict. Max has gone, like, straight to business. He's like, I took the photo. I'm done. I don't need to talk to anyone. I'm going to get back to the car. And we've made $8.46.

Wow. Then we've got to split three ways. Right. So then it was like, try to rush and get a passport before Aaron dies because he knows he's going to treatment and I know he's going berserk. For the first time in my life,

I meant it, I'm done. I knew I was dying at that point. You hadn't left your room in four days. Yeah, when he was calling and shit, I was in my room with a pistol, a shit ton of coke, bottles upon bottles of whiskey. And I just didn't leave my room.

I mean, friends were coming over and banging on my door, and I was just telling him to please leave. So I meant it. At that moment, it was really Dak saying that. I was like, he loves me so much. It's insane. All this stuff is so delicate, because what if you hadn't said that?

Because you hadn't for yours. Yeah. And it is a pretty hard, fast rule that is right. You know, I tell people who have loved ones who are struggling. All you can really do is line up consequences. You can say, like, you can't live at my house and use like this. You can't drive my car. You can have all these boundaries, but you cannot talk someone into getting sober.

And I've seen 22 years A, A, people that are forced to come there for some reason, they don't stay. Like, you just got to want to do it. So it's very hard to figure out when you're going to say that to somebody. But I definitely thought if he hasn't left his room for five days, this might be the time. The thing that's really triggering me about the story is that I hate when the universe or whatever is making it hard for someone who's ready. this passport thing would have driven me. You know what I mean? I was terrified.

Come on, why are you punishing this person who is at some version of a rock bottom? Like, just let them. And how long does this window last where he's willing to? Does he have one fun night and that buys him another? Yeah. So I was ready, but then knowing I had to do this and I had those days before I had to leave, I couldn't possibly start sobering up to be in reality because I couldn't handle it. So I just kept going and I went real hard.

I went, so everyone I knew with Coke, I fucking hit him up, you know, get you back kind of thing. And I loaded up on everything. For how many days? Three or four days. Yeah. Yeah. And you probably knew that was happening. Oh, I knew for sure what was happening. And I was just like, we got to get this passport yesterday, right?

And then at this point, Kenny show up to a flight, being awake for three days. When he landed in Antigua, I had been calling him. I don't even know if he got on the flight. But somehow I finally get a hold of him. he's landed in Antigua, or maybe he called me. He was in a different world. He was, Lauren, his voice was gone.

And he goes, Dad, white people aren't allowed to drive here, and I don't think. And I'm like, oh my God, this means, A, he's being driven by a black guy who he starts to say white people are not allowed to drive. He's like, I don't know if they're kidnapping me. And I'm like, oh, my God,

they get he's in the car of the treatment center. He fucking made it somehow to this car. And then the next. time I talked to him was like four days into detox and it was like completely back to I was like whoa buddy you should have heard your self of those last minutes and it worked this place worked it took man that was over five years ago there was a lot of encouraging things like at one point he called and said they've recommended I stay longer and I'd like to and I was like yes stay for a year I'll sell anything to You at that place.

How long did it take? A couple months. I went November 19th is when I left, so I was there Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year. Yeah, I was afraid he was going to say, like, well, I got to come home for Christmas. I got kids. And I was going to be like, you're not going to have kids if you don't get sober. They convinced me that it's probably good to stay. That's why they were like, you're going to have to figure out if you can stay.

Five years is not that long ago. It's not that long ago. And it's an eternity to be sober. Of course, of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so unimaginable. Like, if I would have said to you, hey, you're going to be sober for five years back then,

you'd be like, that's not even possible. How has your friendship changed since that time? It's kind of like we just time traveled back to seventh grade. Like the second he was sober, it was like all the things that I had reclaimed being sober, being super enthusiastic to be alive on Earth. I have fun stuff now. This was the person I wanted to have fun stuff with.

At seventh grade, but with money. Yeah. And weirdly, there's like a way I can enjoy all this through having Aaron present that I can't otherwise. Like, we went to the Miami Grand Prix and I had like a speaking engagement in Orlando. And we stayed at the four seasons and we went to Disney World with a guide. And the whole time we were just like, oh my God, I can't believe we're here. I would be there with Kristen and not fast.

Yeah, of course. Same feeling. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm just, like, so thrilled that we can eat as much food as we want at the nice restaurant. It's weirdly made me be able to enjoy the whole thing so much more since Aaron's been back. Throughout the year, we get to do, like, ten things together. It's the best. The best.

It's the best, baby. As Aaron said, back in business. Back in business. Do you have a best friend from childhood? I don't, no. Because I was not myself because of the thing. So I don't think I came out of my shell, honestly, until I turned 30. Because Hollywood kind of fucked me up also.

In what version? I was coming out. I was like, I can't have two strikes against me. I can't be brown and have this. And I had like an early audition where someone was like, don't use your hands as much. It was a callback or something. And they were like, they really like you. Just one note.

Don't move your hands so much. And you interpreted that as DLS gay? Yes. I think they were definitely trying to say that too. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're like, in the last hands. And I was like, uh-huh.

So that really messed it up also because then I just went right back in in a certain way where I was just like, I can't date properly. You know, you go on jobs, you're meeting new people, you always hide parts of yourself. At 30, I think I just finally just let it all come. You're like, it's just too much.

It's too much. How quickly into UCB did you go like, oh, fuck, I've got a knack for this? I went for business to USC, and then when I didn't have this job to go back to and my dad, they had applied for the green card, and I was going to maybe get a green card with them because I was under 21.

I was like, oh, I can stay here. And I had been at USC enough that there was a bunch of child actors there. Anyone's I know? No. Okay. Yeah. They were like the third, fourth friend

on a Nickelodeon show, and then they were like, I'm 18, I'm going to go to college. And then there was, like, a few other kids who were from the Seamy Valley area always had had an agent. And they were like in a McDonald's commercial I made $50,000.

And to me, at age 19, I'm like, that's all you never need to make a life. Yes, of course. I just was like, if this is a job that can exist. And then I had done some theater and stuff in high school, and I thought it was a hobby. But then when I came to USC and I didn't do it,

I missed it a lot. And I was like, I think it's more than a hobby. So I just started doing UCB and all this other stuff. But did you know somebody or did you go to a show? That's like a niche thing to know about. Used to me I got because I got my first agent. And that I did because the child actor told me in 2009 to go to Samuel French Bookshop in Studio City,

which I don't think exists anymore, by the agency handbook, which used to be a physical book that had 150 addresses of every LA agent, get a clear envelope because you get the minila envelope, they'll throw it out in the mail room because they know it's a headshot. And get the clear one,

that way they can see your face because there's nothing on the resume. And then they feel bad? Well, they're just hoping that someone sees the face and goes, huh, that face. I'm interested. Otherwise, they just throw it out without even opening. That's a hat.

It's a hat. It's a child actor. So got the middle envelope. I was interning at a film production coming over the summer, so I sent it out, 150 places. Got three calls. First one, this man called me to Studio City. I was 19 years old, like pre-Uber,

all this stuff I, like, rented a car to go to this meeting, very excited. I walked in the room and he said, you're never going to make it. Just all the... Jeez. Hi, I'm Mike Gibson. You're never going to make it. I had not even spoken. Is it Karen?

Karen, you're not going to make it. I'm not saying he sounded a lot like Dax. Is that any high-five Carrie Cruz? He just saw my face and he was like, you're never going to make it to give him understanding. he was like, this poor kid, like, let me just end this now while he's young. And I just was so in shock and I just got back in the car and, like, cried. And then, of course, everyone, my school friends was like, you had a meeting because I obviously

was bragging. I had this, you know, so many short. And then I was like, yeah, we're like, you know, I'm going to see what's going to happen. He had just completely eviscerated me in five minutes. And then I met this husband and wife. And then they were like, please do a monologue. And I was like, whoa, this compared to that guy who didn't even see anything. So I did this monologue.

They were like, amazing. They were like, go outside in the waiting room while we discussed. and I wanted it so badly. Later on, I learned it's a psychological trick to keep someone waiting in another room or something. It makes you start feeling like, what are they talking about in that room? Like, what's happening?

Go back in the room, so desperate for them to like say yes and they go like, we want to do this. Here's to start paperwork. First page was like special skills. Second page, bank account number, a routing number. Oh, no, there's so many mean people here. This was really mean, actually. This to me is the meanest one because I'm 19 years old.

What are you doing? I didn't know that that was shady, but the child actor told me never pay anyone. Like, no one told me in school or anything. You at least do that. Yeah, I was like, something is a little off, but I was like, they're so nice. Let me go back in, and I'm just going to ask why they need this information.

So I go back and ask, and I distinctly remember the wife was the more manipulative one. She was like, oh, sweetie, you're so smart. You're asking such good questions. And then she's like, here's the thing. Like, we're going to work so hard for you. You're going to book all the time, so it won't matter. But, like, one month if you don't book something, we're going to transfer, whatever it was $300 to our account for all the time.

spend. And I was like, uh-huh. And I just remember getting this horrible feeling like something is really bad. And I hate confrontation. So I slowly was like kind of walking about her in the room. And then she was like, fill it out. And I'm like, I don't know my routing number. So I was like, I need to call the bank. And she said, call them from here. In my memory, her head is like twisting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I was like, no, no, no. Her horns are poking out of her hair. Covering her hair. She's like, use my phone. And so I get in the car and I start driving to just leave. I just ran away from there. And she starts hammering. were calling me and I let it go to voicemail and she left me like 15 16 voicemails started with

hey sweetie we're really worried like where are you we can't find you to the last one they're taking you to court you know yelling being like I've called every producer every cast and right I was 19 I was like she might have like maybe I've burned every bridge yeah she doesn't own single producer we know now and so that was the second one then the third one was this guy who was legitimate in Woodland Hills, maybe it was, in a strip mall. And he was like, I want to sign you for commercials. And he told me to go to UCB. Because it was a big thing at the time to, like, learn improv for you can improvising commercial auditions. But he was like, do you want to know why I'm signing you? And I was like, yeah, sure. And Slumdog Millionaire had just come out that summer. And he was like,

I love Slumdog Millionaire. And there was just a pause. And I was like, does he think I'm in it? Right. Yeah. What am I supposed to say to this? And I was just was like, yeah, I was But I was like, maybe I need to pretend like I'm in it. I don't know. And then that was it. We just never talked about it. Never came up again. Never came up again.

He was on to the next movie. Yeah. So then my junior year, I started auditioning and then he would send me on like one a week. And were you booking commercials? No. I ended up getting them later, but I didn't in the beginning at all. It was horrible. They're demoralized.

It's the first thing that I was able to kind of quit and be like, I don't want to go out for this anymore. And I just remember feeling like such relief that I didn't have to. Well, I want to say out loud on the record. I think you're one of the funniest people I've seen on screen forever. I'm not kidding. You're the best part of that movie Kristen did in England. I love you in Deadpool. Every time I see you pop up, I'm like, oh, my God, I can't wait to see.

You have such a weird and unique angle that is so delightful. Thank you. Yeah, you're so good. It's crazy to think that you didn't even think about doing comedy until... No. But that Kristen thing was such a... especially because I don't know if you ever had this experience, but when you're

working with something and you're like, I'm not the famous person in this movie. There's many famous people. And I'm like, we don't have that many scenes, but I wonder if we'll hang out. And you just don't know, because you're just like, you know, the person has the power. And if they're interested and they're living in a different hotel, I was in a different place. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's totally fine. But

I was like, I knew Ben going in before, so I was like, I'll have that friend there and then who knows. And then Claire the director. But then I remember distinctly core memory of sitting in my apartment I had in Kensington. And I just got an unknown number, and it was like, hey, it's K. Bell, want to get dinner? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're like, it happened. Yeah, yeah. Those little things, like, I appreciated more after COVID. This job, sometimes

they were just like, this is such a bizarre. It's like high school awareness again. Every his job you start. You're like, the cool kid has texted me. I'm going to go to the dinner with them or whatever. And you're like, I'm 30-something years old. What is happening? Yeah. I'm going to say, Karen, thank you so much for joining us on our inaugural voyage. I'll be out of focused, but that's okay. And you'll be out of focus, but some of you will be there. Yeah, yeah. Thank you so much for having me. This was so fun. I want you to come on every trip.

I know. It's very fun. I think it should be a screen on this ride. How will we ever find the restaurant? Yeah, we're fucking lost without you. The full circle will be, I'll be walking the streets and you'll run me over.

With a different guest. With a different guest. And that'll be how my journey will end up because it does not feel safe. I'm just going to put it out there. You're watching and you're feeling like it's not safe. It's not. Oh, it's great, too, is as you're about to get hit, it won't be the headlights that blinds you.

It'll be this light inside of my windshield. Oh, my God.