Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard - Mom's Car: Kristen Bell

Episode Date: August 26, 2025

On our first ever episode of Mom’s Car we welcome Mom herself, award-winning actress and beloved spouse Kristen Bell. Kristen, Dax, and Best Friend Aaron Weakley talk through sim sizes of the Chevrolet Bolt and why Kristen loves hers so much she wanted multiple backups, BFAW describes the experience of receiving Dax’s big heart for the first time, the gang get their first delivery while processing assumptions about those who order food to their home, field a write-in question from a concerned impending empty nester, and debate one of Jonathan Haidt’s moral dumbfoundings.Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondery App or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch new content on YouTube or listen to Armchair Expert early and ad-free by joining Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify. Start your free trial by visiting wondery.com/links/armchair-expert-with-dax-shepard/ now.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hello and welcome to Mom's Car, not my mom's car, but my children's mom's car. Today we have, very fittingly, as she was the first guest ever on Armchair Expert, my beloved wife, the queen of all queens, Kristen Bell. I mean, I don't really need to say it, but Frozen, and nobody wants this, and Die Hard, and Legends of the Fall, and Jaws. Please enjoy Kristen Bell. just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate First. Like you know, to check your phones in your pocket before leaving the house. Checking first is smart. So check Allstate First for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with

Allstate. Savings vary subject to terms, conditions and availability. Allstate North America Insurance Co. Co. and affiliates, North Brook, Illinois. I want people to know how much you love this car. You could drive any kind of car you wanted. And obviously, as a car lover, I would always want to buy you a very nice car. But tell me about your car a little bit. Anyone who sees you in this little hot rod knows that everybody likes it. Well, I'll tell you why I like it.

She's small enough for me to park anywhere I want on your lawn, if I so desire. I feel good about zipping around town. I don't feel tighter, invasive. If I drive an SUV, I'm always a little scared. I'm going to kiss the curbs, mainly because I'll kiss the curbs. Sure, sure. She wasn't born a beauty queen, okay? The bolt?

No. Okay. I don't mind scratching her up. Look at the ceiling. Lincoln once tried to clean it and then never wiped the cleaner off the ceiling. It almost looks like white splatter paint. It looks like she used wax to try to clean it. Yeah.

As two previous car detailers, that looks like someone definitely... There's a huge scratch back here, which I don't know if one of our daughters owns some sort of a blade. She's bringing a blade to school. You never know how compact the car actually is by sitting in it. It's spacious. Roomiest, and then you look at it outside, and it's a little... It might be part of the Sim. Cute baby.

Have you seen... This is a really good Sim GIF. GIF? Jeff. Jeff. A city bus is the same width as a car. They're in the same lane. Maybe it's six inches wider. Why is there two seats a hallway and two seats on the left when we're touching shoulders? Oh, my God. I don't think it's the same. I see your point, but I don't think it's the same width. But it's only a few more inches. Yeah, you'd agree we're taking up 80% of the width of this lane.

And then a bus is maybe taking up... No, because look at the car in front of us. That car is taking up 65%, 60%. Okay. Well, I do know the width of a bus. Of hand? Because we have one, yeah. I think it's 102 inches.

We should measure this car and see the difference. We could chat it. So this is the same size as your bus. Well, it's like a foot. Yeah. And that's fine. I'll give it a foot, honey. But where's the extra three?

three feet inside. If we were on a bus, there'd be two other people over there. There's not for my glasses on the scene. In between a bus is like this much barely for your hips, no? It's not three feet. Well, hon, there's two seats. There's a hallway. Then there's two seats across the hallway. Yeah. And look at Aaron and I. Imagine there's a hallway next to him and then Aaron and I are over there. Yeah, I just don't think bus seats are that roomy. They're not as roomy as this. But just imagine getting two more people in a hallway within an extra foot of this space. I understand the concept. But you do reject it wholeheartedly. I don't think it's proof of this sim, no. It's not the least bit confusing to you? I'm Googling the width of a Chevy bolt. I have a bolt, not a volt.

Do you have chat on your phone? Yeah, 69. Yeah, 0.5 inches. Okay. 69.5. 70 inches. Hold on. If we're going to be accurate. You can't start seeing 70. I said 69.5. Okay. What is the width of a city bus? 70 inches. 62. Eight feet four inches. So, 96. What is 8.4.4 inches in inches?

100. Oh, that was embarrassing. I was caught. on camera doing the math room. What is it driving in the same line? 100 minus 69.5. Hold on, though. It was eight feet, yeah? Eight feet.

That's 0.4 or 8 foot 4 inch? 8 foot 4. Okay, 96 plus 4. I stand. So 100, so it's 30.5. 100 minus 69.5. 30.5 inches. Yeah, which is.

Which is less than three feet. It's two and a half feet, exactly. Look at the car in front of us. There is easily two and a half feet if you combine both sides. Well, hold on one second, though, my love. Okay. 30 inches is two and a half feet.

So if you added two and a half feet in here, that would get you maybe the hallway? I see. You're asking me to picture the inside of the bus. Yes. You know what our problem is and why Larry Mantle would poke a Swiss cheese-sized hole in this story? Yeah. When's the last time you were on a city bus? Hour and a half ago?

No. And we need to be on a city bus. bus to really see if it's as spacious as we think. Well, all I do know for certain, and I know you would agree, it's two seats, a hallway, two seats. We were on those buses in Norway. We drove all around those mountain roads. And we're in two captain's chairs, then there's a hallway, and then two captain's chairs. So I'm just curious how you put two more captain's chairs in a hallway in two and a half feet. Understood.

The airport shuttle from LAX to the Uber lot is like people on both sides. Luggage everywhere and Really wide hallway. A hallway you can bring your roll-on bag on. Are you thinking of a school bus? Because oftentimes, or sometimes I believe, the buses, the seats face horizontally, not vertically. They face each other. You've been on a bus where they're facing each other? Yeah, on the airport shuttles.

You're right. Oh, airport shuttle. Yes. Yes. I've been in both, and I think they often have both things. Do you take the airport shuttle a lot? Yeah. To work.

Every morning. To DTW. Have you been on a city bus recently? No, I haven't. Right, like a metro line. Okay, back to how much you love this car, though, because I think one of the cutest things you've ever done, honey, is that we were on a hike and you had heard terrible news that they were discontinuing the bolt. You were panicked, and what did you ask me on the hike? I said, should we get another one?

Oh, wait. How many? I remember it is, should we get a couple backups? couple backups. Maybe I said one or two backups, but I just got nervous that if they don't make it anymore, I don't want a new

fancy, I don't want to drive the Starship Enterprise. I've no interest in that. I want a car that's tactile, that has buttons that I can push, and that does what I wanted to do with muscle memory, and I said, should we grab a backup

two? Or two. before... Should we have three bolts in the driveway? Do you remember what I said you? No. You said no. You're stupid. Why did I marry you?

Stop talking on this hike. Well, I pointed out, and here we are now a year and a half after that conversation. In this car, I'm looking at the odometer has 21,500 miles on it. And at the time of the conversation, the car had about 15,000 miles on it, and it was three years old. And I said, well, love, I think you're going to be driving that same bull. for another 15 to 20 years at the rate of mileage you're putting on it. It's definitely going to go 150,000 miles.

And that made me feel a lot safer. But I just thought, I don't know what if somebody steals it. Yeah, you were thinking of it like as a great pair of shoes or any kind of fashion item. You find the perfect pair of jeans. You get them in another color. Get some backups. You ever done that, Eric?

Duplicate. I have. Do you remember with what? A pair of kangaroos. and I used paperout money. They said they were going out of business. They were like eight bucks. Oh, my God.

At some store in Milford. So, yeah, when I was a kid, I did. But I hear about this all the time. I know Ruthie will do that. I don't think I love anything enough to get to of right now. I'm going to tell you what I love enough. I love my cute wife so much.

Oh, you want to. Because I'm going to be transparent. I said, hey, today when we're doing our interview, would you ask Aaron a lot of questions? Because I feel like he has sometimes left out. And it just hit me how absolutely sweet and cute it is that you're doing it, money. Look at me. I love you.

I love you. Did you ever do that, Aaron? That was so sweet. There she goes. Look, I'm no Lerry Mantle. Yes, you are. There's nowhere Larry Mantle's collecting Chevy bolts. He didn't need a step stool to kiss your ass.

Before you met Aaron and you had only heard stories that I told you early in our relationship, what had you pictured versus? I thought they definitely have hooked up. That's not a... For sure. That's not uncommon to think that. Actually, I'd be worried about if you didn't think that. Because you know, my mom certainly thought... She even said at one point, I think I told you, right?

I thought she was okay with it. Well, like, so she had come in and we were snuggling in my room, as we would do. And she was like, yeah, I guess my assumption was, sure, he was trying that. I thought we were up there, but I don't know why. I thought that was so crazy she thought that. We were snuggling. I think my assumption, actually, there weren't assumptions what I digested from the stories you told me about Aaron. And again, I didn't know Aaron yet, so I couldn't come to many conclusions about him.

But what it read to me was that you are a fiercely loyal person and actually have way more of an open heart than you, advertised because you had found another person who, the way you talked about you guys and all the mistakes you've made and the raucous you've produced around town, that you just loved this other person as a soulmate. There's something really, really beautiful about loving someone that deep and not being flippant in your friendship connections. Aaron's my ride or die, whether I talk to him every day or once a year. I thought it was really sweet. I could imagine where you might have had a much different picture of who he was, because of course I'm telling you the craziest stories about us

every time I'm talking. Like, I'm wondering if when you met him, do you go, like, oh, wow, he's so much sweeter than I was expecting. I think that's a kind of common reaction to Aaron if I've told a bunch of stories. Yeah. He was always so well-rounded in how he spoke about you because he always was like, oh, Aaron was the cutest. The cutest.

All the girls liked him. He was the nicest boy. You know, it gets left out a lot. The thought is the size of this guy's heart and the love he showed. I know he talks about me so much, but I can put it in perspective. This is how I felt in seventh grade. The first time he came to my house, and I think you were giving me something to take the camp. A duffel bag.

I felt like one of those dogs that were like, like, why is someone about to be nice to me? And I'm like, shaky. And then I'm like, Oh, he is nice! He's being nice. He's not judging me or doing anything but being nice. Well, I asked Aaron, we had a class together. We had Mr. Nelson's class. That's where we really fell in love, drawing pictures back and forth. And then I asked him, are you going to go to the seventh grade camp trip, thinking, of course he's going to go. And this is going to be a great time for us to really develop our friendship. And then he said he wasn't going. I think this.

was so vulnerable of you, and probably the start of the whole vulnerability thing, I don't know how you found the confidence to tell me you didn't want to go because you only had trash bags. Do you remember that was the reason you didn't want to go? It's embarrassing. See, that's how beautiful the relationship was. I was that comfortable with you. You also told me all the heartfelt stories about Aaron and his upbringing and the kittens.

Oh, my God. Should we talk about the kittens? It's too dark, I think. It's too dark. To witness that and not be completely scarred by any adult you ever run into for the rest of your life is beyond me. I think I can maybe do a really safe version to just say there were a bunch of cats-born kittens who all had leukemia and a very, very, very, very drunk. Mean. Caretaker, male.

Decided to handle this situation with his bare hands in one fell swoop in front of us. Sure. I'm so glad you guys can laugh about that, but also, ooh. I one time stepped on a slug when I was 16 on accident. I cried for about 30 minutes, and I buried it in a matchbox in my backyard. So if I had seen kittens taken out in front of me, I couldn't go back to school again. It'd be so much grief that I wasn't ready to handle. But Aaron, what did you think of Dax when you first met it?

What was your read on him? Because he talks about himself in middle school, which is where you guys met, yeah? Yeah, sixth grade. As his peak, that he was really hitting it hard in middle school. Felt like it was 20 years long. Was he a stud? Was he as much of a stud as he says he was? Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, absolutely. Yeah, he was so cool and exerted a lot of confidence on the outside. But I felt that maybe that confidence wasn't as confident as he made it out to me. And I just wanted to embrace him. Our very first conversation was in the bathroom and the sixth grade hallway. The bathroom was in the hallway? There's a sixth grade hallway and then it has its own bathroom. Copy.

Keep all those perverted eighth-grader boys out of there. Dax came in and said, and of course, when I. say it. I mean, we're 11, but he's like, are you wearing weekly? No, he's like, are you wearing weekly? And I was like, fuck. All I can remember is being in a moment, like, I just need to be left alone. I was a new kid. He looked cool, cool haircut. And I just thought, why? What's going on? Leave me the fuck alone. But we had a friend, Kevin Gwynn. And Kevin said to look me up. Yeah. Kevin was my best friend in sixth grade at the old sixth grade at Highland Junior High.

And he said, oh, when you get to Muir, you got to meet my friend Aaron. He's the coolest dude. He was explaining how cool he was. And Kevin was super cool. He had a crazy haircut and skateboarded. So I'm kind of like, keep my eyes out for like the coolest dude in the school. Then I asked around and then I figured out who it was. And then I somehow found him. And Aaron was a little bit nervous, I think. Did you shake hands or anything? Or were you just like, I'm deck. Oh, gosh. It wasn't standoff. I'm here to rule in school. No, I was just like, Kevin told me to say hi to you.

And then maybe Aaron just thought, mission accomplished. Like, I said hi on Kevin's behalf, and that was going to be the end of it. And then, as luck would have it, then the first class I had of seventh grade was this Mr. Nelson's history, was it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we were seated right next to each other. Not sure how the ball sack cowboy pitcher started, but they started right away. Real fast. Yeah, it's an interesting thing for.

to do right out of the gate. Right. Oh, you created that together. Yes. And we started passing notes. Yeah. Written or just drawings? There were drawings with situations, I guess, like,

with the little bubble of someone was saying something on it, but not notes like, I love you. Hi. I'm in love with you. I love that you're my friend. So I brought that duffel bag over. That was the first time I went over to Aaron's house. Then he came to seventh grade camp. And you could be in two different bunk houses.

And I was like, okay, Aaron's going to be in mine with Jack, who ultimately the three of us were all best friends, who was crazy and wild. And Aaron stayed in our bunk, but Aaron went to sleep every night pretty early before we went out and got in trouble. He didn't party yet. But, Mom, I have to tell you, to be away from my house for a few days,

It was nice to get rest. Yeah. Without having any worries of falling asleep. Yeah. Sad as that sounds. Yeah. You really find the fun in it ultimately, though, right? This one time in particular,

as one of my favorite memories we have is, Butch was the man's name. He was annihilated at, like, 4 p.m. on a Thursday, and we were in Aaron's trailer. And he always claimed to have been an incredible pitcher when he was a kid, out Kirk Gibson, who's a Detroit hero. You know, he's a legend in his own mind.

He wanted to play catch with Aaron and I with a wet washcloth. This was an attempt at a father-son catch. You get you guys closer. Yeah, that's how I felt like this is going to be like father-son bonding. Well, his intentions were much different than ours. He was tossing it to us, and we were throwing it as hard as we could at his face. And he was so hammered. It was hitting him in the face every single time we used.

His face was all wilted up. We played this game of catch for like 40 minutes, and we were just chucking it as hard as we could in his face. With the wet washcloth? With the wet washcloth? You keep wetting it down. We were like throwing our shoulders out. We were throwing it so hard. And laughing and staring.

He was having a great time. Yeah, he did. It was the most fun I ever had with him. And you were a really good ball player. Well, yeah, that's why he always wanted to bond. Not always wanted to bond, but... Intermittently. That's where the bond was going to come.

from if it was going to happen over baseball with a wet washcloth but yeah you didn't have a ball oh no I wish we would have a ball we would have to throw it up baseball in its face over and over and over maybe he kind of knew that you read at playita no there are some cute restaurants and shops here we're going to new york in a couple weeks Aaron and we're so excited are you so excited I'm so I know mom loves New York. We don't get many trips, and this is going to be a full four or five days? Wednesday to Saturday? We fly in Wednesday, which means we lose the day.

It's a working trip. Do you know mom is one of times 100 most influential people? No. Is it that crazy? I've felt it since day one. I have been heavily influenced. Oh, that's a fun question. This is self-indulgent, but here we go.

Can you feel Kristen's effects on me over the years? Yes. And I'm not kidding. I have felt her effects. Yeah, right. She's turned me into a better person. You're a really great example, huh? Thanks, guys.

Yeah, truly. I was looking at my Instagram, right? And the last two posts, one is of me looking cool on a motorcycle, and one is of me crying. And one has four million views, and one has 400,000. And I think I would have never had the confidence to embrace that side of myself publicly if you didn't enter the picture. Because I cry all the time and I make it seem so normal.

Well, this is a fun time to say that you and I have done a complete reversal, which is when we met, you cried every 45 minutes? Yeah. Oh, except! Oh, finally! Look at that. Where are we at? 700 feet away from something.

Okay. I wonder if it's the same rice and barbecue that we went to yesterday. When I saw your post the other day, I told him, I cried while I was scrolling. I didn't even have the volume. I don't even know what he was crying about. about a motorcycle I want. But I started crying immediately when I saw him, welted up. I did too, and that means you have mirror neurons.

I think they're separated issues, right? Like, one thing is, do things make you cry, or do you have a bunch of guards up that allow you to not be emotionally invested? And then the second thing is your system of mirror neurons, which is when you see someone else cry, your mirror neurons, I don't want to say should, because I don't know if they should,

but if they're strong, they turn on. I've watched that video of you two or three times now, and I well up every single time. And I wonder if because you guys didn't have the adults that maybe you wanted to emulate that were safe around you, you almost like dulled your mirror neurons because you're like, I can't mirror these people.

Well, look, I have a story, and the story is I had this older brother, and I just did not want to be a baby. I want to be older. You see it with Delta. Now, imagine it's a five-year gap, and just crying was a baby's activity. And I just decided at nine,

We're not doing that because that's very babyish in front of David. But Aaron was a good cryer. Fuck. I cried up until a year and a half ago. Yeah, I've always cried. We would get sent to Bart Montanee's office, the vice principal. And we would sit in there and he would yell at us, and I would be stone face staring at him. And then Aaron would start crying, and then I'd get really protective over Aaron and be defending Aaron.

And it was a whole scene. I can only imagine what he thought when he came home for him. He never let us know, but he had to have thought that was cute. Two of bad boys in his office and one's crying and one's trying to protect them. Yeah, trying to stop me from crying. I'm going to go get this food. Get this food, get this money. Hi.

Hi. I love you. I love you. Thanks for doing. Yeah. You're so good. You're asking some questions. Is he what?

Swimming of my spot. Hello. Oh, my God. What if this same place? Oh, I hope so. I hope there's... Was there another one? I hope they're getting...

Now, wait, you have to go directly to this person? Are you allowed to pick up another... If something rang, we could. But you see how... Yeah, that's only... That's happened to us once. Oh, this is the directions to the person who ordered barbecue and rice.

That's right. It's only three minutes away. Yep. It has alleviated a lot of my guilt. The most obnoxious and indulgent thing I do is order five guys when we're at the Hansons. Oh, yeah. It's across the street.

I almost have felt like when I get a... the food from the guy, he's got to be pissed at me. Like, come on, you lazy, motherfucker. You walked almost as far to pick the food up at the end of the driveway. But this is very common. Like, most of our deliveries are within a few hundred feet. At work or working from home.

See, that's exactly the kind of attitude you have that's infectious. Working from home and never heard of me. I'm like, there's a lazy bomb. It's a fucking bum. parents are giving them money, and they're sitting on their ass at home, ordering 100 feet away. And you go, they're working from home. That's the exact influence I need in my life.

Me too. What do you think of this person? I'm so embarrassed that never occurred to me. Someone's working from home. You're just waiting at home. Yes. They're terrible. I assume everyone we deliver food to is a terrible person, just like me.

When you order food, though, it's because we've both just gotten off work. We need to feed the kids. We haven't had time to do anything. Why wouldn't everyone else be in the same position we're in? This is the benefit of being a good person. So you're a good person, and then you assume everyone else is a good person. But Aaron and I identify a little bit with being lazy pieces of shit. And despite a lot of evidence otherwise, that's still kind of just my root.

Like, again, if I see someone cut me off, I'm like, yeah, they're entitled, and they want to get there faster than I'm going to get there, because I drive like that. That's the penalty if you're a piece of shit is you assume everyone else is a piece of shit. I guess. But I do think as I've liked myself more, I do give a lot more benefit of the doubt and think better thoughts about people. But, like, when you see someone cut you, you would never fly around someone on the ride

and try to make up a minute. You wouldn't do that. No, because they could have a pregnant woman in the car. And if they're driving too slow, they could have a cake in the back for kids' cookies that they don't want to smash. A birthday cake for a senior? For someone's on their birthday. Someone's final birthday. Oh, no.

Final birthday. Oh, my God. They have this precarious three-tier cake in the back scene. They're trying to have a pussyfooting around the city. God, I hope I think of something like that next time I'm in that position. Someone's going 15 miles an hour and a 35, and I go, you know, I'd probably be like that. Home safe. Birthday cake or not, mongles, fucker.

Put your foot up against. Just tell him I got fucked up on the ride because the traffic was a beat down. Oh, man. Stay tuned for more mom's car. Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking all state first. You know, it reminds me of all those times when checking first really pays off. Like that time I didn't check the weather before planning a backyard barbecue. rookie mistake. Or how about when you're about to head out on a road trip and you know to check

your tire pressure first? It's those little check first moments that save us from bigger headaches later. I mean, think about it. You always check if you have your wallet before sitting down at a restaurant, right? Or make sure you've got your keys before closing the front door? These are just smart moves we all make. Checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and Availability, Allstate North American Insurance Co, and affiliates, North Brook, Illinois. Hey, parents, it's that time of year again. Back to School madness. But before you start hyperventilating into a paper bag, let me tell you about a little lifesaver called Uber Eats.

Right now, they're offering up to 40% off back to school essentials. You heard that right. 40%. We're talking notebooks, colored pencils, calculators, glue sticks, all that stuff, your kids need to become the next Einstein. Or at least past the same. six great. But wait, there's more. Uber Eats has your lunchbox game covered too. Get discounts on string cheese, juice boxes, fresh fruit, luncheables, all the fuel. Your little geniuses need to power through the day. And hey, if some of those snacks accidentally fall into your mouth, I won't tell anyone. The best part, it's all just to tap away on the Uber Eats app. No more running around like a headless chicken trying to get everything done. So make your life easier

and order now on Uber Eats. Remember, get up to 40% off back-to-school essentials. Offer ends 916. Terms Apply, C-Ap for details. The fact that you've been able to share a life with me and I'm moving around like that, God bless you. But honey, I give you the benefit of the doubt. And oftentimes I'm right. You have the story about yourself that you have all these bad intentions all the times. You're a big boy. And it's just not... You think that's synonymous with the best. Yeah, I do.

Oh, is this the food? He's coming out to you. Oh. Oh, shit. This never happens to see it. Oh, wonderful. Like he's working. Of course.

Of course he's not. Oh, Jennifer. But you know what? Maybe he's knee deep in work. That's why he's not in his suit. At home. I did see it said Dax. You know, like that picture.

Sure. Let's do a selfie. We're making a podcast where we deliver food. Okay. Hi. Hi. You're Andrew? I am. Dax, nice to be you.

Do you want to take a picture? Hold on. I can get out. Yeah, let's get out and get a photo. Okay, hold on. My mom, I'm going to put my mic at my pocket. All right, now I have to leave a good tip. No, you don't.

You'd leave zero tip. My wife is very wealthy. Take care, brother. You too. And finally have it. Of course, because you're here, you're fucking bitch. You, did I tell you this funny thing, Aaron, about the hotel reservation? Hold on.

17, no. Oh, sorry, I accepted so fast. Did he tip you $17? No, no, no, that's another, it's on now. Oh, oh. It's like this sometimes. When it rains, it pours. What happened?

Oh, you have to, no, no, no, you still have to put it from it. Yeah, so, did I tell you about the hotel? Because I'm taking the girls to Hawaii on Saturday. Oh, yeah, you told me this. Just the three of us. I think that girl got fired. No, no. That's not.

So I got an email from the hotel saying, we're delighted to offer you a complimentary upgrade to a suite. And also, if you're traveling with Miss Bell, let us know if we can arrange any services for her. And so I wrote back like, oh, I'd love an upgrade if I could get a roll away so there's enough beds. And they were like, no problem. And they said, and any services for Ms. Bell?

And I said, no, she won't be joining us on this trip. And they wrote, we're so sad that she won't be joining. They fully regret giving me this upgrade because they thought they were giving you an upgrade. That is not true. No, more likely, because no one in their right mind can believe that a dad would watch his kids by himself without the problem there. That's much more likely. And they might be right. Let's see how it goes.

What's this place? Oh, let's get some food for ourselves. Vegan breakfast, burrito. This is a big one, guys. This is 23 minutes. Let's do a question. Okay, mom. Are you ready, mom?

Yep. I'm a single mom to an incredible 17-year-old daughter, Riley. I got sober a few years ago, and it's the best thing I've ever done for myself and for her. But now I'm facing something I never really prepared for. Riley leaving home in two years. As proud as I am of her, the thought of an empty house after 18 years of being mom every single day is terrifying. I know I have to keep putting my sobriety first, but I'm scared of the loneliness of not having her as my anchor and of what my identity looks like when she's out in the world chasing her dreams.

I've built a life that I love, but sometimes I feel the pull of old coping mechanisms when I think about the quiet that's coming. I have lost a lot of time with her because of my addiction. How do I prepare for the transition in a healthy way? What helped you both when facing major life shifts? And how do I keep showing up for myself so I don't fall into a place where I risk everything I've worked for? Well, Aaron, you're the first of us in this exact situation because Wade is going away to college in six months, right? Yeah, first of all, I relate with the getting sober and feeling like you lost a lot of years with your kids and you have all this making up to do. And it sounds like she has done that successfully and hopefully has realized that it's okay.

And you just have to accept it. You have to forgive yourself, I'd imagine. And it seems very impossible. And I can't remember how long it took me before I did accept it. In other arenas, I've witnessed you now at five years, have the three years of feeling very guilty, and then saying, you know what, I feel bad, but here we are, and I really can't live feeling bad now

for the rest of my life. It's not what I've been working so hard to feel like, right? Yeah, it takes such a toll on you. And then weight is going away, but have two girls still that are not yet. But I am so excited for him to live his life. I'm so excited for him to get to do anything at all that resembles. I just think of you and I at that age.

We didn't go away to college. Right. We didn't go on spring break with our mom. We sure did not. Things have changed. Do you know that everyone goes on spring break with their mom now? Yeah, I do. You know that.

Everyone knew this except us. Well, my sister went on spring break with Lucy and Ben. What's your thoughts on that? The moms are sick of freaking staying at home and doing nothing. They want to be involved, too. It's not like the moms are going to parties with them, at least with my sister, she separates from them. But she'd like a beach vacation, and she's paying for it, so I think why not? Well, I love mom taking a beach vacation.

I just don't know why it's got to be with the 18-year-old on spring break. Seems stressful. I just don't know how the kid has the fun they're supposed to have. It's supposed to be like a rum-springer. For you. Well, it was for me, too, I guess. Oh, yeah. Don't sell yourself short.

It was. Where'd you go? South Padre Island, of course. Tijuana. T.J. Did you hook up? Yeah. You went single.

You managed that correctly? By the way. Yeah. Literally we could have been there at the same time. Right. I went with like the group of smart girls from my school and we got blasted and then like my rolls of disposable cameras that I put in my photo album book and hit at the bottom of my closet.

My proof of my room springer. Yes. My mom brought into the mom's club at the high school. the year I left for college and showed everybody. As a warning of what happens on these spring breaks? Maybe she thought it was funny. Maybe she just was going through my... I don't know.

I was furious. But you were a single on that trip? Yeah, well. Well. I don't know if I was. Oh, I mean... I don't think I was. Nice.

It's regretful, but I don't think it was. Here's the way my brain works. I'm such an optimist. I wanted to answer yes. Yeah. Because that's the right answer. Yes. But if I really think about it, I don't think it was.

This is what I like about you. Everyone's got a little duality. And yours is particularly interesting because you're on the surface, such a goody-goody. We're really opposites. I'm presenting one way, but I'm bawling. You're perfect, but I've been plowing on spring break. You know, I can't handle alcohol. So, like, I had a little bit of alcohol and nothing else mattered.

Yeah, sure. Everybody looked great. Everybody looked great. I have a lot of thoughts on Mallory's situation. Yeah, tell me. I thought you would. Well, I think about this a lot. And first of all, I can fully acknowledge that I don't suffer from certainly not the same demons as worrying about the loneliness.

But I find it helpful for the way my mind works to picture the visual. Like, how many bags do I want to carry around in life? Like, I feel like the invisible bags of baggage of things I'm going to carry, things worrying, you know? Uh-huh. And when my kids go to college, I don't want to carry around the bags full of this empty feeling. So I'm like, okay, well, how do I set them down? And I think preparing yourself by way of looking at life as a cycle has really helped me, like a flower. A flower starts as a sprout, and then it grows into a beautiful flower, and then it kind of withers, and then it fertilizes the other plants.

Like, I think about that a lot when I look at the girls, and I'm like, oh, yeah, bikini season's over for me. And that's okay. Well, hold on. I had a lot of bikini seasons. You're in a lot of bikini. I know, but you understand what I'm saying. For me being the engenue, that's done. I'm a mom.

They think I'm gross. They call my boobs sloppy joes. You know what I mean? That's the phase I'm in where I'm getting rizzed by my, maybe Riz is flirting. That's flirty. Shit on. By my kids. And that's also a phase that can be beautiful, but it's so hard for humans to be okay with going

and do a different phase. And that's the hump. It's not, what am I going to do? Just be accepting of the next phase of your life is happening. And now you're going to have to still be her rock at home when she calls home, but you are going to have to find other things to nurture if you are particularly filled up by nurturing. So volunteer somewhere, get a dog, get a cat, get a goldfish, create a hobby. Get a male chimp.

Get a tonka. That space is filled is kind of. All you can do, fill the space with things you've always wanted to do. Beyond that, really work to understand that everything has a cycle. Even the Chevy Bolt. She'll die one day, and I'll be so sad. I don't know. I don't know.

I have a comparison. But do you know what I mean? Like, everything has to have a cycle. Without it, the Earth couldn't function. And it's just really hard for humans to step out of one phase into another phase. But I think when you zoom out and look at it as a macro view like that, it becomes easier. The biggest chunk of my identity is now the father of Lincoln and Delta.

It's 80% of what I think I am. So, yeah, it's going to be really wild to not have a daily responsibility or commitment to them. And I do think there's going to be an enormous hole there. And I think I'm going to be very sad that I don't hear them in the house. I think it's going to be rough. Oh, for sure. But I'm a romantic. So I also have a fantasy of Uranize life completely free to go to New York.

for a week if we want. And to go to Europe with the Richardson's and just do what we want to do. I have a very healthy fantasy of our life without kids, too, which is a luxury of being married. But I do wonder if this is where you and I are a little different. Like, you're not prone to that same fantasy I have. I am to a degree. I think I'm more realistic about habits and practices become yearnings if you've been doing them for long enough. We will have been nurturing for 18 years. That's like quitting drinking. That's what Mallory's feeling.

She's going to have to quit drinking again because that is you're fulfilling something for someone else. Your primary purpose goes away. Exactly. And if that just evaporates instantly, of course there are going to be aftershocks. So you have to fill it with something else that allows you to scratch that itch.

Well, yeah, when I read this, the only thing I thought of as my suggestion and she's further along than us, so I don't feel like I'm really in a position to make a suggestion. Other than I think she has to develop some hobbies or, as you're saying, some volunteering, something. She has to develop some things to fill that big hole. But my main suggestion is to not wait until your daughter's left.

You're feeling sad and terrible. And now I'm asking you to go have an interest in something. Right. Be ahead of it. Yes, I think as a commitment, meant to help is like really commit to signing up for some things before she leaves. Yeah. So you're just already in the habit of doing it. That's what my first thought was reading it too. She did such a good job already. Yeah. And I just want to hug her and say, please don't worry. You have done the hardest part.

Yeah. And you did get a few of those good years back that a lot of people don't get. I think that self-esteem can be built when you thread the line of so you have manufactured. this, you've earned this gift that you gave to your daughter. That means the gift is yours to give again. You know, you don't have to. I'm not saying adopt a toddler and be up all night, but I'm saying like a dog. Yeah, and one other thing I'd add to mom that she should feel good about is I don't think you can underestimate the power of modeling a comeback. I was very lucky in that I didn't have the kind of shame maybe most people do with addiction because my dad was already an addict.

and had already gotten sober. Like, I never felt terribly judged by my family for having this thing. That's a huge blessing. And he had shown me the roadmap for when I finally needed to address it. I was quite familiar with it all. I don't know if it was just me, but the tough love steps in and talks very harshly to me. And this is what I did when I was pregnant. When I was, like, worried about being pregnant about all the things, I was like,

hey, you know what, Kristen, you're not the first person on the planet to ever have a baby. You're just not. Lots of people have done this before you. A couple of a billion. And yes, it's going to be hard, but someone else has gone through it before you, which means it's possible, and that gives me hope. Wow, look at these cool old houses. Oh, wow. Oh, man.

Are these like sorority houses? This is our first billionaire we're delivering to. Or maybe there's sorority houses. What if we're delivering to a party and we get invited in? Well. Well, probably not. We're not in that phase. I don't think they want us there.

Okay. They'd want you. They're probably watching nobody wants this. I'm an old woman. I don't think they want me. All right. You're the hottest sex symbol on Netflix. Yeah.

I think it's the next block. I hope it's not a nude co-ed. It's in here. She's right there. She's right there. I hope I don't get put in that situation. I'm going to say I would love to, but my wife is in the car. There was a new.

Co-ed, but it's a man laying out right there. Jacking? No, he's chatting with a girl hanging out or window. Oh. What a time to be alive. Oh, college. Yeah, Wade. I miss it.

Look at him. Now he's calling your name. How are you doing? Good. How are you? Really good. Well, out of context, delivering food. It's very confusing, right?

And Kristen Bell's in the backseat. Are you fucking kidding? You fucking kidding me? Bye. Get that son. I'm starting to feel that old thing where I'm like, fuck. Wait, what version? They want to be him.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That it's over. It's all over. It's not over. You're just in a different part of your life. I love the part of my life. Yeah. But I also would love to take week-long vacations as 27.

Yeah. Would you? Or not at all. There was too much pressure to party and have fun. I'm too much percentage introvert to really crave or enjoy that. I wish that I was going on spring break with you guys. I really do, because I would love to be with you. But I am also beyond excited to come home to a quiet house and talk to nobody for the whole week after work.

Yeah, we were watching White Lotus, and there's that scene where they all go out in that town, and they're doing ecstasy and getting drunk, and then they're on the boat. That must have been a 15-minute sequence. And the entire time I'm going, no, I'm going to do that again before I die. This is literally all I'm thinking about. I'm like, I am not leaving planet Earth without another trip like that to Thailand or whatever.

And as I'm in the middle of thinking all this, Kristen goes, oh, this looks torturous. I want to be reading a book back at the whole clear-headed. Yeah. Proud of every decision I make. It was so indicative of us. I was just off to the races of how bad I want to be walking down that street, all confused and laughing to me loud. You know, it's too much stimulus for me.

I was feeling that same way watching it. Were you? Oh my God, yeah. I kept telling them birthday I wanted. I need a week in Thailand. I'm like, oh, fuck, I love this. I know. I think I even mentioned like, he's like my age.

It's like my age. I'll believe anything, like, it's really happening. The movie, I know it's a movie, you know what he's acting, but I'm like, oh, he's doing it, it's my age. Okay, you ready for a moral dumbfounding love? Yeah. The Secret Affair. This is Jonathan Hype.

A Jonathan Hype, moral dilemma? Yeah, his moral dumbfounding questions. Oh, oh, okay. Like the brother and sister who have sex. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The Secret Affair, a happily married person has a one-night stand while on a trip. They use protection, never tell their spouse, and the affair never affects their relationship in any way. The marriage remains strong and loving.

Is this morally wrong? What is this whole thing with a trap? Trying to get you to commit on camera and say there's no problem. I want to hear you first. Why? Why? You be brave. No.

I want to hear you first, because I already know what I think. Yeah, I'm fine with it. I don't care. If I don't ever know and it has no impact, I've said it a million times, my issue with an affair would not be that you had sex with somebody. My potential issue with an affair would be, you'd be distracted, you'd be overcome with guilt, it would impact how you treated me, you would not be doing all the things as my partner that I've come to love that you do. That would be my fear, not the thought that you had sex with somebody. The guilt would take over hard on me. Well, that's reality, though,

verse the question. It didn't impact, but I agree. I understand, but you're knowing what you did. Yeah. I love the idea of doing it. Yeah, and not affecting anything. Yeah. Except it would. Listen, I don't get stumped by many of these. I would eat a person. I would do all these crazy things. Eat a dog. Yeah. You would not eat a dog. Yeah, you know yourself. And you know, this is impossible. You'd be carrying the guilt, and then when you feel guilty and shame, then you act a certain way and it would just ripple out. There's no way it could be done. That I accept.

I feel I should preface this with I didn't always feel this way. Right. Because when I met you, I was a very jealous person, and I was bending to the subconscious rules. society had given me of television shows of like, my boyfriend cheated on me, girl, get him out of the house. No fucking way. You asked me the question of, kind of a would you rather, if I slept with someone versus if I drove our kids drunk.

And that put everything in perspective. I was like, if you had an affair, I feel like we could get through that. If you drove my kids drunk, you're packing up. There's no circumstance in which I would allow you around the kids until I knew you were completely sober and clear-headed. What was really interesting is we were in a big group of people when we asked a bunch of couples that question. Would you prefer your partner cheat on you or drive the kids strong?

And we were both kind of shocked that most of the people would prefer that their partner drove the kids strong. I don't think of that. There's something wrong there. I have the exact same answer as you do. The sort of splitting that would be involved. Although, wait, what did that one say? It's a one-night stand.

It never happens again. Never Happened Again, has no impact on the relationship. I mean, kind of who cares, to be honest, because I have the same thoughts you do. I also know we're monkeys. We're both attracted to other people. We're married. We're not dead. I'm mostly dead, but yeah, there's just about 15% still.

But I don't know that everyone has the privilege of this much confidence in their relationship. I agree. Even go beyond that, we've got to own the fact that for the most part, I've not been left in my life. by partners. Either it was amicable or I broke up with somebody. And I think that's really relevant. If you've someone that's been like cheated on

and then dumped and cheated on and dumped, how on earth could you have this laissez fair opinion? But I've been cheated on but not dumped. Well, A, I had an over-relationships. So I had two. And after the first one, I was like, yeah, she loves me as much as she's ever loved me and she's had sex with other dudes.

Like just the notion that somehow that would make her not love me or something, I just got to experience it had had no impact. It didn't have any impact on either relationship. Now, I'm against an open relationship for different reasons, which are, well, A, I'm an addict. So I can't manage that. I can't fuck once. Whereas your guilt would eat you up? There'd be more right away. It'd be like if I had a drink tomorrow, I'm going to have a thousand drinks over the next few weeks. That's just how I'm built. But I think if you have an open relationship, unless you guys are so committed to working on your own sexual relationship, if you have other options, it's already hard to maintain your own sexual relationship. And if you have options, you just won't do it. That was definitely the poor outcome of my open relationships. Our own intimacy suffered greatly from it. Interesting. But did you think I was going to what? Oh, no. Did you think I was going to disagree? No. No, that was me. You were like, that one's going to be hard. Well, no, I just mean this is unique to ask a married couple this question in front of each other. Like, you might be in a podcast somewhere else and get asked this and you

would just whatever. But you're being asked to answer this in front of your husband. In front of my husband, yeah. But did that surprise you that I said that? No, I've come to think that's how you think about it. How would you feel, Aaron, if Ruthie cheated? Give him higher circumstances than that. Give him more specific circumstances than that. It was a one-night stand. She's in a gang bang with No, no, it's a one-night stand. I want to watch. She's at a work thing and there's been alcohol consumed. The flirtation didn't start before the alcohol.

Alcohol loosened everybody up. She sleeps with someone. She wakes up and is like, I can't believe I did that because I do love Aaron. She comes home. How do you want her to handle it? Ooh. First of all, this is the only relationship in my life that I don't play that scenario out ever. I am so, oh, no, that's great. Oh, no, that's great. I am so comfortable in my relationship. It doesn't ever cross my mind. Same. I remember that not being the case for every other one. Yeah. I remember the feelings of jealousy. I mean, honestly, how do I want her to play that out? Of course, keep quiet about it and I don't want to ever know about it. Right. But I think she could tell me and I would understand, too.

Do you think that has to do with who Ruthie is? Or do you think that has to do with who you've become? I think it's move I've become. And, well, hold on. I think it could be a combo. I guess a combo, yeah, is the easy answer. Because I just believe, as I've said in the past, I'm not liable to be jealous of a hot dude. I'm more liable to be jealous of Mike Scher

because he has morals and ethics that I know are in lockstep with yours, and I can't compete with that. But with that said, I so thoroughly believe and have witnessed. that you love me for life. I believe that in my heart. I don't see any scenario where at any point in your life

you don't love me, and vice versa. I don't think anything could prevent that. You're right. So I think if you feel that, everything else is a little less threatening. Mm-hmm.

Well, honey, you're the most delightful guests we've had. This is fun. I love you so much. I love you, too. Thank you. Love you, Aaron. I love you. Thank you, baby.

I'll give it an air. A little smudgy snitchie. Yeah. Smooches.